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inkskinned · 1 year

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sometimes we just need someone to pay enough attention.

for the longest time i had been trying to read The Lord of The Rings. everyone had sung the praises for it, over and over. i'd seen clips of the movie and it seemed like it could be fun, but actually reading it was fucking horrible.

my parents had the omnibus - all the books squished into one big tome - and in the 4th grade i started sort of an annual tradition: i would start trying to read TLR and get frustrated after about a month and put it back down. at first i figured i was just too young for it, and that it would eventually make sense.

but every time i came back to it, i would find myself having the exact same experience: it was confusing, weird, and dry as a fucking bone. i couldn't figure it out. how had everyone else on earth read this book and enjoyed it? how had they made movies out of this thing? it was, like, barely coherent. i would see it on "classics" list and on every fantasy/sci-fi list and everyone said i should read it; but i figured that it was like my opinion of great expectations - just because it's a classic doesn't mean i'm going to like experiencing it.

at 20, i began the process of forcing myself through it. if i had to treat the experience like a self-inflicted textbook, i would - but i was going to read it.

my mom came across me taking notes at our kitchen table. i was on the last few pages of the first book in the omnibus, and i was dreading moving on to the next. she smiled down at me. only you would take notes on creative writing. then she sat down and her brow wrinkled. wait. why are you taking notes on this?

i said the thing i always said - it's boring, and i forget what's happening in it because it's so weird, and dense. and strange.

she nodded a little, and started to stand up. and then sat back down and said - wait, will you show me the book?

i was happy to hand it over, annoyed with the fact i'd barely made a dent in the monster of a thing. she pulled it to herself, pushing her glasses up so she could read the tiny writing. for a moment, she was silent, and then she let out a cackle. she wouldn't stop laughing. oh my god. i cannot wait to tell your father.

i was immediately defensive. okay, maybe i'm stupid but i've been trying to read this since the 4th grade and -

she shook her head. raquel, this is the Silmarillion. you've been reading the Silmarillion, not the lord of the rings.

anyway, it turns out that the hobbit and lord of the rings series are all super good and i understand why they're recommended reading. but good lord (of the rings), i wish somebody had just asked - wait. this kind of thing is right up your alley. you love fantasy. it sounds like something might be wrong. why do you think it's so boring?

#thanks for reminding me this happened #writeblr #warm up #i don't think this story translates well to the page #IRONIC!!!! :)#but yeah man i read the Silmarillion before i read the hobbit #the omnibus didn't explain what it was and i figured - you start at the beginning and then you read from the beginning #that's how books work #how was i supposed to know #EDIT IN THE TAGS: hi i think i worded this in a confusing way #the omnibus had ALL the stories in it - the silm #the hobbit #and all of LOTR #they just put the silm in the front so i thought logically it was the first book #that's how an omnibus usually works after all - the first book in the series is the first book in the tome #to be fair i GUESS the silm takes place “before” the hobbit????

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landlordevil · 7 months

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There's this face Astarion makes sometimes and I'm not entirely sure what emotion he's trying to convey but he fails at it regardless. ID in alt text

#astarion ancunin #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 astarion #for context this screenshot was taken by me after you first meet gandrel #so this specific instance is ''i'm trying not to look like a vampire and i'm about to say something racist''#but he makes this face multiple times. each time more confusing than the last #this is what not having a reflection for 200 years does to a man.

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deltaruminations · 4 months

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what if gaster in a future chapter calls out the audience for speculating so much about him. the guy canonically has some amount of access to Real Life Social Media. like i started this mostly as a joke but there are definitely some real metanarrative opportunities for a character with recklessly curious impulses, and possibly a fragile sense of self, having nearly limitless access to streams of debate over whether or not he’s a bastard. rude to talk about someone who’s listening etc

#this is very fast and loose character reading on my part but i do get the sense sometimes #that gaster may be asking some of the same questions of himself that we are of him.#’who are you? how should i feel about you? should i sympathize with you or be disgusted by you?’#i said ‘call out’ in the post but i don’t even necessarily think this is a matter of anger #so much as sincere confusion and ego-shattering overwhelm #a character so wrung out by the mechanisms of audience interpretation that even he has no idea who he is anymore #and he’s looking at the audience who looked so hard for him and spent so much energy tearing him apart for clues or answers #and saying ‘you want to know what i am. but you seem to know that better than i do. please tell me. tell me what you think.’#’because i want to know just as much as you do.’#…anyway this is not real speculation. just rambling on an idea i think would be cool lol #$ waltz of a shattered man

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imminent-danger-came · 1 year

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I am seeing some of the WORST takes about tdp season 4. Sweet, sweet tumblr users. This season was a lot of set up, not everything was supposed to be explained or resolved, or even "should" have been. Season 4 had to do the heavy leg work of re-establishing characters and arcs and the plot moving foreword. It just needs a little time to be able to act on everything it's now established. It did a good job building off of arc 1, and now we are fully indoctrinated into arc 2!

#like yes you are SUPPOSED to think Rayla was acting weird #yes you are SUPPOSED to be confused about why she came back #yes you are SUPPOSED to wonder why Callum is throwing himself into his work/magic #(I think it's possible to infer but it's going to be explored)#yes you are SUPPOSED to be disappointed that Rayllum didn’t completely hash out their issues #Yes. Even the fact that Rayla wasn't as focused on this season.#she opened up about NOTHING and it's clear that during her 2 year absence something happened to her #I promise it's going to be explored these writers don't just leave plot points #Really s4 and s5 are gonna be more like 1 season narrative wise #s4 ep 9 was more like a mid season finally #This is exactly how it went down with seasons 1 and 2 #*finale #anyways #The only thing that feels like it was completed narrativly this season was the Janaya plot #This all feels super intentional to me man #tdp #the dragon prince #tdp spoilers #Like let the plot happen #Just because it didn't ALL happen in one season like you thought it would doesn't mean it won't #okay that's all the salt I have in me #imp tag

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mewtwo24 · 4 months

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I finally finished reading the fourth volume of svsss in full, and thing is--the first time through I only read the bingqiu content because I was ravenous for more of their happy ending.

Turns out that was a perilous mistake.

Because I started reading the airplane extras. And I swear to god. MXTX is trying to kill me

What do you MEAN demon lord Binghe was sitting on his big fucking throne. All stoic and forbidding. Surrounded by his demon generals who don't know shit about human courtship. Asking them what he should do, fully demoralized by constant rejections from sqq, only to have airplane tell him to act more pathetic and needy. Which is already hysterically funny and insane, UNTIL LBH'S RESPONSE IS THIS, KILLING ME INSTANTLY:

LUO BINGHE. WHY DOES HE SAY IT LIKE: "I already tried that, didn't work--nothing works :/ not mean, not maidenly, not housewife, not spicy, not capable disciple. Is doubling down on clingy really all it will take? What's a born hater with only one love in his life to do????"

The dichotomy of him sitting there like 'how can I reach the unfathomable depths of shizun's heart?' A HEART HE'S ALREADY WON OVER, MIND and then in the Holy Mausoleum solving the puzzle without blinking and being like 'oh yeah you just have to hit the acupoints, no sweat.' Literally the comedy writes itself I'm so--

How am I supposed to be normal about this. MXTX understands the juicy quintessential queer joy of a person with the world's power at their fingertips wishing only for love. Willing to do anything to earn that love, when unbeknownst to them it's already been freely given. Totally not screaming and yelling and clawing at the walls

And that's not even touching airplane's uproarious account of events. The way he's like 'lol what's next, lbh and sqq are best friends now? smfh' only to see lbh TACKLE SQQ LOVINGLY. FOR SQQ TO BE BASHFUL ABOUT IT BUT SO SO FOND OF THE LITTLE SCAMP. This when we've been experiencing sqq's constant inner monologue of 'I'm so cool and so dignified about my role, truly the epitome of propriety and poser-level fortitude.' Meanwhile, in their universe:

Airplane constantly flaming???? Sqq and lbh in his observations????? His absolute bewilderment and confusion????? Legendary. No notes every single second of this shit was hilarious.

Airplane's comment that sqq + older adolescent lbh traveling together was just watching a couple in their honeymoon phase. OR the fact that lbh is exceedingly petty and refuses to share their food in the wake of airplane's interruption of their time together, until sqq relents sheepishly and insists airplane eat what's left (ONLY AFTER PLACATING LBH WITH MORE FOOD FROM HIS PLATE, SOBBING)

Watching airplane salivate over Mobei-Jun and acting like that's totally normal behavior. Finding out mbj and airplane got together first. Finding out sqq encouraged airplane. LIKE THIS. WHILE HE IS STILL IN DENIAL ABOUT HIS OWN FEELINGS:

Mobei-jun clearly thinking their arrangement is a forever thing, heartbroken his human abandoned him with all the hapless fury of a scorned wife swept away by false promises of fidelity. Airplane writing demons to be the type to beat up their crush lovingly and still unable to connect the dots about mbj's feelings. Mbj letting him go and respecting his wishes, only relenting when there's indication airplane was poorly processing his own feelings and didn't actually want to leave. Mbj caring for him and listening to him as soon as airplane voices what he needs directly and with clarity. None of these gays are functional and it's everything to me

Unrelated, but I physically can't hold this information in anymore:

I'm still reeling from younger lbh having his sexual awakening from the image of sqq wrapped in the immortal binding cables. Condemn me as you like he was so, so real for that.

And no I will not be taking any comments about how luo bingge couldn't bear to see luo binghe cherished in ways he never got to have and all the haunting implications of that. I will also not be taking any comments about luo binghe's instinct to look for sqq in that alternate universe, only to be shaken to the very core to be unable to find his shizun anywhere. The unspeakable and latent horror of his relentless mind likely piecing together what happened, but unable to say it; to suspect what is true, and live with the harrowing confusion of his double's actions. To blame himself, to assume that he had let his anger get the better of him in that world and result in unspeakable folly...

I also refuse to talk about how heartrending it is to hear Tianlang-jun weakly say "In the end, I really can't bring myself to hate humans." The implication that the foolishness of that hope and bright-eyed fondness--the very thing that put him through such unspeakable agony--couldn't be beaten out of him entirely. To discover that his faith in Su Xiyan hadn't been misplaced, to the contrary: his beloved hadn't scorned him at all, but rather fought to the miserable end to protect the fruition of their genuine feelings of love when she couldn't protect tlj or herself.

How MXTX has sqq deliberately draw parallels between their situation and that of ygy+sj and tlj+sx; desperately wishing it might not be too late for them. The concept of breaking cycles of abuse and harm pervasive throughout the newly devised story, how it evolves for the better only when love takes the place of power, pride, and domination. How the moment sqq chooses vulnerability instead of saving face, the genre shifts to the so-called "cringe" girly genre where most if not every character is more fulfilled, more true to themselves. How the "male-oriented" former genre was aimlessly sensationalized and sexualized, how it was a sustained performance of aspirational toxic masculinity. How men objectify other men without end. All of the unspoken gendered implications that come with that.

Anyways. Going to go put my head in a sandbox and try to process everything I just witnessed because even a second reading is not enough to find a modicum of closure.

#svsss #bingqiu #moshang #i swear to god this series is just 'gay man who doesn't know shit inflicting his delusional reality on everyone else and inciting chaos'#and literally it's slapstick levels of hilarious every single time; mxtx never change #also i fully agree that we did not get NEARLY enough mobei-jun and sqh/airplane content #the amount of mental illness to mental illness communication going on there was astonishing #mobei-jun being afraid of his uncle and bringing sqh because that's the only person he trusts fully (WAILING NOISES)#sqh having a tantrum but running away because for the first time he was honest about his needs + his dissatisfaction with catering to other #how that reflects his narrative compulsions and how he felt forced to warp more creative story paths for the sake of survival as a writer #how sqq's restoration of much of his original intent--as well as mobei-jun's acceptance of his needs--helps airplane begin to heal #how his happiness begins; how just like sqq he wanders in such confusion and denial before he's forced to realize what truly matters to him #SHREK VOICE: STORIES HAVE. L A Y E R S #it feels like modern day shakespeare and when i say that i don't mean it in a hollow elevating sense i mean it more like #mxtx just hits that perfect balance of poignance but also hilarious concentric circles of botched communication and brainworms #okay but real talk for a minute? .........;-;#the way lbh constantly struggles with such a crushing feeling that he'll be abandoned over any little mishap/thing/problem #really hit me where it hurts??? if only because its so clearly an anxiety that stems from original goods' upbringing #the way it becomes even more heartrending when you think back to all the sect leaders clamoring that he should have been killed as an infan #that he should have been aborted as a fetus--insisting right in front of him that his birth was a mistake and a disgrace #over having demon blood in his veins. like my god that scene is so viscerally upsetting i struggle to read it #the way its so easy to see the demons as a manifestation of otherness in precipitated form #how both sqq and sqh are influenced by human rhetoric without evening meaning to--assuming the worst against their better judgment #how both sqq and sqh both struggle with their own otherness in different ways and only find solace when they begin to accept who they are #how their lovers (lbh and mbj respectively) both are willing to navigate those confusing waters with them #how both demons love them as they are--accept them as they are despite how difficult forgiveness of perceived betrayal is for them #ty mxtx for changing my brain chemistry #as i get older i have such a fondness for the messiness of thematic queer self-discovery and growth into self-acceptance #that and how youth can so easily be defined by perfectionistic self-harm and the violence of repression

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skitskatdacat63 · 6 months

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2023 Brazilian Grand Prix - Sprint - Fernando Alonso

#yknow i thought maybe id get immune to his insane level of attractiveness from this weekend after posting so much #but these had me going: 'WHAT THE FUCCCCKKKKKK' super hoarse LMAO #im so confused at him. he was very cute and angelic in the earlier interview and now he looks like this???? unfair.#theres something about a man trapped by the sleeves of his racesuit....#okay anyways this should be my last work of the day actually #i have to go do a school thing so i shant be online...probably #BUT AH NO SERIOUSLY ITS BEEN SSO FUN YESTERDAY AND TODAY!!!#like it really is a reward after suffering thru all his races since zandvoort basically #but mostly cota and mexico killed me but this wknd has reminded me how fun racing and f1 can be #thank you everyone for being so fun hehehe #fernando alonso #f1 #formula 1 #2023 brazilian gp #we do a little bit of f1

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civetside · 6 months

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My partner’s only experiences with tlt is my infodumping, the pool scene, and your blog. Ignore the giant ominous floating salmon.

sorry i didn't hear what you said the ominous salmon starting whispering sweet nothings to me and i got distracted

#tlt #ask #okay but fr that drawing made me WhEEZE #and ive had a couple people now tell they dont know what tlt is but have seen the comics and im just like #man you must be SO CONFUSED #the frowny face around war criminal is the funniest part for me

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princyvish · 5 months

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I've been. Unsurprisingly obsessed with this fic and the most recent chapter at the time of posting gave me a very distinct image of a drawing. Where Sanji is reacting to Koby after he beat up Nezumi and those other Marines.

Koby's Awful No-Good Very Confusing Day written by @okiedoketm!

#vinsmoke sanji #black leg sanji #blackleg sanji #koby's awful no-good very confusing day #one piece #one piece fanart #op fic #MAN this fic has me by the scruff of the neck. Expect some Kobylu moments from the fic itself soon #HIGHLY recommend you read it #it will not disappoint #AudrinArt

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idk-bruh-20 · 10 months

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Irondad fic ideas #139

NWH AU where Tony's been in a coma this whole time. He still is. But the world thinks he's dead.

One day, Rhodey is in some science place (maybe SI, maybe a community college where he was giving a speech?) and he sees this kid tinkering who looks exactly like Tony Stark. The teen Tony Stark from when he first met him at MIT. Even down to the mannerisms. He goes up and has a brief conversation with this stranger, just curious. Then he leaves.

Unbeknownst to the kid, Peter, Rhodey managed to grab something for a DNA test. The kid just looked too much like his best friend. Like seeing a ghost

When they analyze the DNA, they learn that this kid is in fact Tony's biological son

Rhodey goes back to find the kid, this time bringing Happy. Peter gets to have the super fun conversation where two people who should know him but don't tell him that the person he saw as a father was his actual father, only it's too late

They convince Peter to come with them eventually. And Peter gets the shock of his entire life

Over the next little while, at Tony's bedside, Peter gets to know Morgan (who he would've seen as a sister anyway but this is insane). He also gets reacquainted with Rhodey, Happy, and Pepper, who all admittedly find him a bit sus with how much he seems to know.

But...this is Tony's kid. His son. So they let him be there, let him talk to Tony and hold his hand.

Finally, finally, Tony wakes up.

And it turns out, being in a coma and thought dead by the entire world, including wizards, makes one exempt from certain magic

Bonus:

As he sits by Tony's bedside, Peter has to grapple with a lot of emotions. One of them is the realization that he was never actually related to Uncle Ben, which makes him feel like his uncle and aunt died for nothing

Pepper helps him through it. Even not knowing him the way she once did, she knows plenty about guilt complexes and chosen family. She assures Peter that he's still a Parker, no matter what, and that his aunt and uncle wouldn't have given him up for the world

Another thing Peter deals with is the fear of Tony waking up and not knowing him. It breaks his heart just thinking about it.

Cue THE most relieving hurt/comfort reunion ever imagined

#peter (crying): you remember me?#tony (also crying): obviously?? I did all this to bring you back #ironfam: the hell tony?? why didn't you ever tell us you had a son?!?!#tony: what? you guys know peter..#irondad fic ideas #irondad and spiderson #miscommunication and confusion continue until they finally get through to tony that peter is not just his emotional son #he is also his biological son #tony: ...HOW has this not come up before??? kid we did all those tests on your freaky spider dna-#entire room: YOUR SON IS SPIDER-MAN?!?!#iron dad and spider son #tony stark #peter parker #nwh fix-it #endgame who?#ironfam #tony once he somehow restores FRIDAY'S files and discovers she literally did run a paternity test: why didn't you tell me this hon?#FRIDAY: all data indicated that you already knew and were acting as peter's father #queueueueue #weekly reminder that i love you all but am too busy to be human :)#fic ideas still postponed but you can send asks if you want i just won't see them for a while #see announcements

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dragonanon · 11 months

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Lucifer: Cerberus is an incredibly fearsome and dangerous beast. You need to stay far away from him-

Me: Heeheehee puppee!! *Giving Cerberus head scratches and kisses*

Cerberus: Boof! *Happily wagging his tail and giving slobbery kisses*

Lucifer:

#local old man is confused his big scary dog loves his gf more than him #obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me cerberus #shitpost #lmfaoooo #lucifer x reader #you’re now in charge of helping to give cerberus walkies and brushies since he likes you so much #he also lets you sleep on him #you are perhaps the safest person in the whole house lmao

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mrshayakawa · 1 year

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chainsaw man announcing asa is his ex potential girlfriend and we know somebody was watching the fight bc they helped him so they must have heard…give me the denji/chainsaw man/asa love triangle NOW

#give me that miraculous ladybug type of ridiculousness #im not afraid of admitting i eat that shit up #asa would want to be excluded from the narrative ofc #but denji would be like dont you think chainsaw man is cool tho? kinda hot right?#i can also imagine him getting confused and somehow becoming jealous of himself #god the possibilities #asaden #asa mitaka #denji hayakawa #chainsaw man #chainsaw man manga #csm #csm manga

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the-meme-monarch · 6 months

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idk i just think shitting on lgbt identities bc you think theyre "counterintuitive" is fucking. stupid? get a hobby maybe? talk to real life queer people maybe

#like idk im pretty sure poeple have had 'confusing' genders/sexualities since Forever. i dont think this is bad is the thing #give me a reason being a bi lesbian is bad. give me a reason why being a he/him lesbian is bad. give me a reason neo pronouns are bad.#i dont think there is one. truthfully. i just think you should let people define their own experiences. poeple contain multitudes man #words from the monarch

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animentality · 24 days

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maybe I should stop joking that I'm 94 in my bio.

too many teenagers and 20 year olds who genuinely think someone born in 1930 uses Tumblr of all sites.

maybe they'd have an intern running an account on Twitter or Facebook or some shit, but Tumblr?

I'm 93, guys.

#im 26 #you know what ill remove it #my friends call me an old man bc im grouchy and i act like a boomer when it comes to headphone jacks #but its confusing too many people #plus i know 26 is ancient to most of you youngins

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ironunderstands · 2 months

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Dr. Ratio accidentally gaslit players into thinking he doesn’t care about other people when that his core morivation. You go king!

#Can’t wait for the 2.1 voicelines to drop and dumbass bitches to be like “he cares about Aventurine that much?”#Like yes have you been paying attention #This man is a chronic loser of the IDGAF war #Y’all see a slightly rude character and treat them like they are a psychopath #Is ratio autistic coded? I think he is? Can I say he is? Because I feel like the confusion is because of that #Me: ah yes a blunt way to get his point across because he respects his and the person he’s with’s intellects and wants to have a discussion #Everyone else apparently: Ratio is so meannn he hates everyoneee if you are stupid he wants you to die!!#At least that’s what it feels like 😭#dr ratio #honkai star rail #Hsr leaks #aventurine

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collieii · 9 months

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i really like how trimax constantly emphasizes that vash's kindness is a choice, a deliberate and powerful one. it contrasts him so well to knives, who's so disdainful towards humanity as a whole. but vash actually interacts with people and is involved in society. and, by extension, he's been hurt by it so many times. but despite this he chooses love everytime and defends humanity.

meanwhile, knives has never participated, always seems to watch people from a distance. still, he makes claims about the cruelty of humanity, and he uses the idea of human cruelty to justify his actions, despite the fact that he's likely never directly been victim to it the same way vash and the other plants have. not to understate the whole tesla situation, but he assumes that he has the authority to decide the fate of humanity, even though out of every plant he's probably not the one who's in the position to make that sort of decision. (and frankly, it's not a decision any single individual should be making)

so this moment is so poignant, though vash might not be directly talking about himself we know it applies to him, we know how much violence he's suffered. it's written on his skin (his shirtlessness in that scene is very pointed). and we know that knives hasn't really experienced that. and knives is ultimately very self absorbed, he assumes he knows what's best for the plants and what they want, so he uses them to achieve his goals without consulting them. unlike vash, who as we see in the finale, has made efforts to communicate with the plants (communication and connection is such a big thing with vash!) he's familiar with them, and they him, and that's one of the reasons they seem more willing to follow vash's path than knives.

the difference between vash and knives is that vash sees everyone as an individual with inherent value. knives is unwilling to do this and he turns groups into monoliths, refuses to see individuals or nuance.

one of the big ideas of trigun is that conflict occurs because people don't see those around them as individuals. so what really saves the day isn't guns or firepower, but understanding between people. vash helps facilitate this understanding between humans and plants because they're all familiar with him, he's put a lot of effort into getting to know everyone! and with everyone he meets he embodies the idea of love and peace, helps them believe that cooperation is possible.