#you know the time you spend assessing? how about you use it actually doing shit like..... duh

[kinetic-elaboration]

June 22: Rainy Days

Ugh, this day. I’m pretty done with this week. It was short and I’m not prepared for the weekend but I’m also done with the whole thing. I think it’s partly the weather, which is a real drag and also an inconvenience, and partly just that I’ve seriously needed a vacation for like 2 months now, and partly just like poor self control and poor planning.

I left work early to avoid the thunderstorms that were supposed to happen, and I guess that was probably a good idea because it had just started raining when I got home, and it was pouring during the entire time I would have been commuting if I’d worked a full day at the library. But man, at what cost? I only worked at home for 90 minutes but it sucked. It sucked. I hate working from home. It is boring, it’s lonely, it’s unstimulating. And I brought my work laptop home because I thought that would make it easier, but what it has in speed and easily accessible work-relevant it loses in having the most obnoxious track pad and also being a pain in the ass to transport in my bag. I usually use it attached to a separate monitor, screen, keyboard, and mouse, and if I unplug it, it’s for fairly short periods of time. The track pad does not work for me for longer work sessions. It’s a different shape and placement than the one I’m used to, and it doesn’t have separate buttons to click on, so I’m always right clicking or moving to the wrong places, and the whole angle of it hurts my wrist. I don’t know. I just… I brought it home in part because it’s supposed to be thunderstorming tomorrow morning and then for most of the day and I thought I might remote work instead of going out yet again in a monsoon but… I don’t know if I can do it. I don’t know how I did this for like 2 years. No wonder I have long term mental problems now (self-diagnosed). Right now, I’m leaning toward taking an extra set of clothes, accepting I will get very wet and have a shitty time generally walking in to work, and then just change when I get there. Hopefully I don’t get hit by lightning lol rip me.

Truly a capitalist dystopian nightmare. I don’t hate my job--I like it maybe too much!--and I actually do have a lot to catch up on after taking half of last week off but MAN is literally anything I’m doing or going to do tomorrow worth this? Is it worth walking through a thunderstorm? Was Wednesday worth getting so soaked I took 3 hours getting dry, people driving in with zero visibility, driving through water, leaving their kids at home in houses without power? Is it? For what? For what that couldn’t wait, just literally, honestly asking.

Anyway, I went to sleep late last night, through every fault of my own, and I was so fucking exhausted post-work that I just went to sleep. And I slept a long time. And then I woke up confused and guilty and hungry. I feel better now that I have eaten but it’s also stupid o’clock again. I’m going to pack a backpack for tomorrow, force myself to make a sandwich for lunch, ignore the dishes, skip a shower, brush my teeth, and go to bed. I feel bad about the stuff I did not accomplish this week and worried about the weekend, because of all the stuff I have to/was planning to do. But mostly I just feel sort of like shit. I want to sleep.

#the year 2023 #2023: rl #oh also the staff retreat next week is going to make me want to die i hate assessments what a literal invention of the devil #you know the time you spend assessing? how about you use it actually doing shit like..... duh

[laughing-with-god]

How would victor jungkook be ?

in terms of what? like yandere or his story?

well, my original plan was that Victor's revenge would be the sequel to Quarter Quell once JK won it and he'd join the other victors. However, I used Taehyung in QQ so it wouldn't make sense if he was also in VR lol. Ofc, i can prob do a rewrite and just replace taehyung in QQ, but idk.

either way, here are some random headcanons for how I picture jk as a Victor

thinks some of the other victors only won on a technicality and doesn't mind making passive-aggressive comments about it

does NOT like being associated with Jin or Jimin's weak asses, thinks they're sneaky little shits who had to rely on tricks bc they would lose in a physical fight

he's very popular as a victor. tbh i think he's the only one who rivals jimin's popularity. the capitol love how bloodthirsty he is. while jimin mainly has female fans, jungkook has a good mix of both since men want to be like JK, and obvi women find him hot

I think he'd do a lot of tv shows and interviews. he knows people value his input for games so I can see him offering his insight on current tributes. remember the scoring system for how tributes would get rated? i can see him being asked to be on the team that assess those.

as a mentor, I think he'd be the type to pick a favorite and only really focus on that kid. he doesn't care if it's heartless, he's not wasting his time on a lost cause just to make them feel better.

I can see him looking at the other kid like "you might as well live it up while you can, you probably aren't gonna make it past the bloodbath."

if by some miracle that kid did survive and win, JK would be like ".....damn, guess I owe you a drink. my bad. welcome to victor's row tho :)"

as a mentor, he will tell his kids to just stick to the career alliance. if for some reason a kid from 2 wanted to align themselves with someone whose not a career, JK would just be like "ur on your own w that" bc ain't no way he's gonna attempt to talk to non career victors who prob hate him

I think he's another victor who splits his time pretty evenly between the capitol and his home district.

does not have to sell his body or anything because he is a capitol fav, but I do think he'll make shitty comments towards jimin

"Hi whore- I mean, Jimin"

yeah those two hate each other lol^^

doesn't really have any triggers or trauma from his games.

if anything he looks back at it with fond memories, which kinda freak the rest of the victors out

I don't think he has any victor friends

thinks jin and jimin are weak, namjoon is too clever for his own good, yoongi is annoying, hoseok is ungrateful and tae is just there...

I think yoongi is the only one who outright tried fighting jk once in a drugged up rage

jk prob made a comment about a tribute from 6.

"I bet if we put morphling in the cornucopia she would've actually survived the bloodbath. all kids from six are just addicts."

yeah yoongi tried punching him for that and Jk wiped the floor with him, namjoon had to get involved

I don't know how he'd spend his winnings tbh. I don't see him being really into anything other than weapons.

As a yandere, i think he'd try really hard to market you guys as the ideal victor couple

he'd def talk anout marrying you and having other victor babies in interviews n shit

"when it comes time for Yn and I to train our kids for the games-"

it's an open secret that the capitol just let JK have you lol

[pulisicz]

have we been here before? - mason mount

i guess things have come full circle

summary - you and mason used to “date” back in middle school, which then led to a more serious relationship in high school, but due to mason pursuing his football career, you two spilt.

now, years later, you two are reunited.

♡︎

pairing - mason mount x fem!reader

song inspo - n/a

warnings! - none, this is straight fluff

word count - 1.5k

note - i will 100% be making a part 2

-

mason had had a long day. getting back into the season had been hard, especially after the heartbreak of what happened at the world cup.

another loss…

it was hard on all of the guys, but that doesn’t mean that they could just be all sad and not give it 110% for their club teams.

it was, however, nice to get back with the team.

mason had missed all of them a lot, but mainly his two best mates, christian and ben.

“i hate to be the one to say this, but there’s always next time. we had a rough fight, but we did well, lads”. harry maguire says as they all get situated in their plane seats.

after the long plane ride, the boys were finally back in england. yes, loosing the world cup sucked, but being back home was nice.

mason’s sister, stacey, and his mom, picked him up from the airport.

“oh my god, stacey, what are you doing here?” mason said, being more shocked than ever.

his sister lives in australia, and after she and her family came to see mason play, she was supposed to go back to australia, at least that was the plan. but stacey had wanted to surprise mason by visiting england for a little.

the car ride home was nice. he got to catch up with his sister, which was much needed. he also got a moment of peace from all of the craziness in his life, which was very refreshing.

mason didn’t have to go back to chelsea training for another week, so he got to rest and do whatever he wanted for a good while. although mason was excited to spend time with his family and friends, the only thing he could think of at the moment was getting into his bed to take a much needed nap.

-

you were almost done with your errands, the only place left to go to was the grocery store. you went over your list to see what you needed and headed into the store, list and pen in hand.

apples

grapes

saltine crackers

lemonade

lettuce

tomato’s

shredded cheese

caesar salad dressing

croutons

granola bars

you didn’t need much so it shouldn’t be a long trip.

you were almost finished with your list, only a couple items left when you realized you needed to grab more bread.

you are carefully going over your list and assessing what you had already gotten as you turn to the bread aisle, not paying attention to your surroundings. you collide with someone else’s cart, which shake you from your focus.

“oh shit, i’m sorry! i wasn’t looking where i was go-ing…. mason?”

you stand there, unable to think, but trying to think at the same time.

what is he doing here?

“what are you doing here?” you ask, as if it’s not the most obvious answer. he’s obviously getting groceries.

“i’m getting groceries, and you?”

your mind is racing. it had been 5 years since you last saw him. 5 years since the two of you were dating. 5 years since you were your happiest self.

“doing the same. um. how have you been?”

you really had no idea what to say. for someone you used to know so well, you’re acting as if this is your first time meeting.

“i’ve been good. i just back into town today and wanted to run out to get some things. nothing much though. what about you? are you still into photography?”

photography… he remembered

“yes i am! i’m actually studying photography at oxford, along with english. it’s been a really cool experience. — and what do you mean by not much, didn’t you just get back from the world cup? that’s insane mason! you did amazing!”

“thank you. i tried”

-

mason couldn’t believe he ran into y/n. all the memories flooded him.

she still studies photography…

mason remembered everything about her. he remembered how she always wanted to be an author, but had the biggest passion for photography. he remembered how oxford was the only school she wanted to go to. he remembered that she had started writing a book their senior year.

her book.

“did you end up finishing your book?” mason asked remembering about her book.

the book was something y/n had put all her time into. she was not passionate about writing it, and mason was ecstatic for her, but she was still in the very early stages of it when they had broken up, so he never got to see it really come together.

“my book?” y/n seemed puzzled. did she forget about it? did she finish it? does she have no idea what i’m talking about? masons mind started wandering. was it weird that i asked?

y/n stood there think for a few more seconds before her eyes lit up.

“YOU REMEMBER?!”

“how could i forget? you poured your entire heart into that book. i never got to see it come together. did you end up finishing it?”

y/n’s smile faded just a little.

“sadly not. i had to put it on the back burner to focus on my studies, and even now i only work on it from time to time. i still want to finish it though.”

this made mason smile a little. hearing that she was still working on her book made him happy. it was like nothing had changed. y/n was still y/n. the only thing is, is that mason is now a world famous footballer, and y/n is a student at oxford.

“i hate to break this reunion up, but i have to finish my grocery shopping and get back to my dorm. my roommate is going to kill me if i’m not home soon. it was so nice to see you mason”.

no.

no.

mason couldn’t just let her leave like he did to her 5 years ago.

“y/n?”

y/n turned back around before leaving the asile.

“can i get your number? i have gotten a new number since senior year and i really want to get together with you some time”.

y/n walked over to mason and he gave her his phone so she could put in her number.

“i’ll see you later, mason”. y/n said, putting a little emphasis on his name.

the second y/n walked out of the aisle, mason did a little celebration dance before composing himself to finish shopping.

—————————————————————————

“would you want to go to the 49 cafe for brunch tomorrow?”

mason had typed and retyped his text about 5 times. why was he so nervous? is just a date. it’s not even a proper date, it’s just brunch, nothing fancy.

delivered.

-

you were at your desk studying for your upcoming exam in your psych class when your phone lit up.

mason was the name on your screen and your heart skipped a beat. you had hoped he would text sooner than later, but certainly not this early, although you weren’t complaining.

as you read the text you couldn’t help but blush. you pull your knees up on the chair to lean your chin on as you text mason back.

“i would love to! what time?”

you saw the three dots show up almost immediately, which only made you blush more.

“does someone finally have a little boyfriend?” your roommate, emily, asks in a giddy, yet, sarcastic tone. emily has always pushed you to go out more, but being the introvert you were, chose to stay home writing, studying, or editing photos from your photo shoots.

“hmm? oh, no. i just saw a funny video”.

lies.

you had never ever lied to emily, but you couldn’t tell her that you were going on a date with mason mount.

“you’re lying, i know you too well”.

emily hops off her bed and makes her way towards you. you knew you were a bad lier, but no matter how good the lie was, emily would always see right through you.

“so, what’s his name?”

“mason”

emily starts smiling and jumping up and down.

“y/n finally has a boyfriend” emily says in a sing-song type voice while skipping around in a circle like a 5 year old.

“i don’t have a boyfriend, em. it’s just brunch”.

well, i did have a boyfriend.

you hadn’t told emily about mason yet, and you weren’t ever planning on telling her, but being reunited with mason might have to bring you to tell her, but that was a problem for another day.

you look back at your phone to see if mason had texted back the time for tomorrow, and as expected, the blue bubble has appeared.

“11 AM?”

you look at your schedule to make sure you definitely don’t have any classes at that time, and after seeing you have nothing, you text him back.

“works for me”

“perfect. i’ll see you tomorrow, y/n”

#mason mount #mason mount fanfic #chelsea fc #chelsea #fanfic #pulisicz

[optiwashere]

WIP Wednesday

Holy shit, it's actually on a Wednesday this time?

I really wanted to do one of these this week since I've gone a bit rabid on a few WIPs.

I'll post a little bit about each of those WIPs later, some snippets and a blurb about why I'm so excited. But first! Folks to tag! Since I'm so excited for these, I'm gonna tag a lot this time.

If you have anything you want to share WIP writing-wise, please do... @quitefair @bottombatch @siyurikspakvariisis @causticcontemplation @jasminethetransvampire @underworldobsessed @assarivanguard @amorficzna @funwithnix @askweisswolf @linka-from-captain-planet @tief4tief

If you don't want to do this, or have nothing you want to share, feel free to ignore. If anyone else wants to do this, please feel free to consider yourself tagged. Now, onto my obsessions.

WIP 1: New chapter of Nightsongs

After spending some chapters in a kind of angst zone after the relatively light (relatively) first 4-5 chapters, this next chapter is going to be a kind of upswing. There's lots left to do with the AU, so I'm expecting to chug along and write more and more as time permits.

This AU is a lot for me to handle, especially after having so many chapters ready to post and then... falling way behind on writing the chapters afterwards. But it's fanfiction, and we're having fun here. So, who cares? The game's fandom heyday is already over, so at this point I'm just writing whatever feels best to me.

This chapter is mostly done, I think. I'm giving it a few days/a week to sit before I go back to edit it with fresher eyes. Also, we return to Ash's POV!

Lae’zel walked into Ash’s back office without a word on the seventh day and Ash nodded her way without looking up. Papers sat in strewn piles all over the desk, a handful of old incident reports and assessments that still needed working for Wulbren’s accountants. The absolute worst part of the job remained for the year – paperwork – and Ash intended to get them caught up in the hours that remained of her day. It was a useful, meaningful task. It gave her something else to think about. Anything other than green eyes. “We should talk,” Lae’zel said, sitting down without being offered one of the folding chairs in front of the desk. “Aren’t we doing that?” Ash scanned the paper in front of her and quickly jotted down her signature. [...] “You begin working on a van,” Lae’zel said matter-of-factly, counting off on her fingers as she spoke. “You talk to a pretty girl. You suddenly work more often on that van. Then, you disappear inside yourself and act bitter all day because suddenly the girl no longer shows up. There is more to it than you say.” “I think this might be the first time you’ve spoken more than five words to me, you know that?” Ash chuckled. “Am I that obvious?”

WIP 2: New chapter of Blades in the Night

The need to write more plot for this has been burrowing in my skull for a long time. I initially stopped myself from writing too much of it because I wanted to do Nightsongs first in its entirety before getting to this, but I think I'm just too impatient for that.

I also love the fact that this fic turned from a simple PWP one-shot into this much more expansive, plotty story that's now pretty important for what I want to do with my babies post-canon. Something about that makes me smile.

Plus, you know how I've been lamenting my inability to write happy endings for certain characters?

Either way, this isn't really complete, but the hardest part is complete and now I just have to start connecting the dots and filling in the blanks. I'd say it's about a third done?

The room filled with the same aura of a distant gaze leveled their way that Shadowheart had felt back in the cloister. Asheera had made an oath to protect Shadowheart then, and the flooding of a dense, real presence had nearly swallowed her whole in the cloister's barracks. A weight of importance sunk down on her shoulders there in Hobb's Hovel as well. A smell like molten metal cooling lilted in the air with a lingering, acrid tang. It tasted of blood in Shadowheart's mouth, as if the forging was tainted with some other foul presence in the mixture. [...] Little could have compared better to that feeling of a weight lifted from her shoulders. Worry disappeared and gave way to earnest joy in Shadowheart, and she thrived on it. She hadn't felt such keen happiness since she'd been so readily accepted into Asheera's family by her parents.

WIP 3: Gauntlet of Shar fic

Wow, I know! I've been talking about writing this fic for so long that it's almost become a sort of mythical never-to-be-slain beast for me. I'm not normally someone that talks about my ideas too often, I just write them before they can flee me.

I tend to also get in my own head about what I "should" be writing in the first place. Frankly, I'm getting kinda tired of writing so many ships, though fear not - I'll still have ideas that can only work with ships that aren't Shadowheart/Asheera. It's just that, for a while, I want to focus back on my loves.

This fic is one of those that I've wanted to finish for months. I know that at this point in the fandom's life cycle, I'm pretty much writing just for the dedicated, lovely folks that still read my stuff and I'm extremely happy to have y'all around! Maybe this will make Light Casts a Shadow ring a little more true for some, maybe it will be just another fic that I post, who knows.

Also, one thing I'm planning on experimenting with for this fic is alternate endings for Fun. This is a fic where the ending hinges on choices that Shadowheart makes in the game, so it's only fitting that I explore what would happen if she made those other choices.

But anywho, enough blabbing. Excerpt time!

Those touches and more, Asheera cherished. She watched in silence as Shadowheart turned her devotions to each of those tasks. Perhaps it was the nature of clerics to give themselves entirely to seemingly mundane tasks much the same Asheera felt compelled to consider her oaths in nearly every conversation, battle, or even moments like Shadowheart carefully buckling a cuisse to her leg with straps of leather at the backs of Asheera's knees. Fingertips trailed against her clothed skin, and Shadowheart stood up once more. "There," she said, "all's taken care of, then. Tell me, how's my handiwork? Be honest. I can handle the criticism." Asheera brought her balled fist to her chest in an arm curl. She flexed the elbow out and tested her shoulders, knees, ankles, and hips for motion. None of the plates caught on one another, and none of the straps across her hands, arms, knees, or chest restricted her. "Perfect," Asheera said at last. "Marvelous work." Shadowheart offered a quick smile. "I'll take a Gondian's compliment on such things any day." "Can't say I would've done a better job." "Ah, there's the honesty I was waiting for. Truly, where would you be without me?"

#random rambling about writing #bg3 #shadowheart #shadowtav #shadowheart x tav #oc: asheera #my fic #nightsongs au #amongst other things................

[ovaruling]

You made a post earlier about how you are feeding stray cats. Since it seems like you're very concerned about the environment I wonder why you are doing this. Aren't stray/outdoor cats horrible for the environment? Mostly because they kill animals that are actually important for nature like birds and rodents. Not trying to be rude just wondering why you think feeding them is a good idea, because it's basically helping a population that has no place in nature and does nothing but harm.

look, i’m not without my weaknesses—i can’t look at a starving stray cat and not feed it. maybe others can, but i can’t. i never claimed to be a paragon.

however, i must clarify something and also point out that i think im doing my part more than your average stray-feeder—i spend 1-2 hours each day trying to trap the cats. every day, from 4-5pm and sometimes later. i drop what im doing to spend time on it.

i have a folding chair to sit on and stake them out, a new implement of a bathroom mirror from a construction site that i set up next to the feeding station (to see the cats without startling them), and a large dog crate in which i put the food.

i recently caught 2 of the said stray cats last week and had them fixed and they will no longer be contributing to the environmental decline, nor will they ever produce litters. i’m working on a third.

i feed on my own property and i have caught and fixed and thus removed from the environment approximately 20 or more cats since i was like, i can’t remember—10, 11, 12. somewhere around there—i was in some degree of childhood when i started. i still use the same large dog crates i had back then to catch them. it takes weeks, sometimes months. sometimes a year or more in the case of my toughest one, an aggressive feral male who was causing issues in the neighborhood and who is now my housecat and best friend and wreaks no more havoc. i didn’t give up on him and it ended up being for the better bc no one else was going to give enough of a shit to spend the time it was going to take to catch him. (i’ve said this before but, i had to go on 3 rounds of antibiotics bc he kept biting me horribly every time i tried to catch him)

all this to say: my success in catching stray cats is owed largely to my patience and my willingness to spend hours gaining their trust by feeding them and having them associate my presence with food and fresh water.

so i know it’s not without criticism to feed them, but i do put in hours and hours each week feeding these strays specifically to try to catch them—and i often succeed. (edit: i don’t always. there are a few cats i don’t know if i’ll ever be able to catch, but i won’t stop trying.)

this is what ive been doing my whole life and i will continue to try to make an impact on my local environment in this unique way. i don’t expect others to understand my methods and the specific way that i do things (it’s different for each cat depending on how i assess their personality and needs and habits etc etc), but the fact that i’ve removed 20 or more strays from my neighborhood over the last decade or so is an impact that matters, i think.

especially since i pay out of my own pocket to take them to the vet, to fix them, vaccinate them, and treat them for any and all ailments, and i also have housed them myself or rehomed them. it’s a huge drain on my resources but it’s one i am happy to do for the rest of my life. not least bc no one else in my area is bothering to do anything about them.

so—take that for what you will. that’s my contribution and it’s not perfect but i think i do a good job at reducing the number of stray cats in my local ecosystem and i have to conclude that because of that i MUST have reduced a lot of the environmental destruction that they would’ve otherwise done. much better than anyone else who lives around here, that’s for sure.

tl;dr—i am basically doing the job my local animal care & control is supposed to be doing about stray cats, for free, by myself, at my own expense and on my own time—and i 100% cannot do that job without feeding them

edit: i didn’t mean for this to sound as defensive and doth protesting as it did—i realize i’ve never quite explained exactly What it is i do with regard to stray and feral cats, and of course i can’t expect others to read my mind or know my life and motivations just from scattered posts i make lol. i hope i answered your question somewhat, and im happy to answer any more that you have.

#v #vp

[thatswhatsushesaid]

"i hate [character name] so much! they're clearly the villain! they oppose the actions of [protagonist]! why do people like them so much!"

if this sounds like something you might write, i need you to understand that sometimes, two different people can read the same piece of fiction, and walk away from the experience with two very different interpretations of the text. and neither person is wrong. even if one of those people is the author, actually.

"but [character name] is the antagonist, ray. are you stupid or something? do you know what an antagonist is? we are clearly meant to side with [protagonist] and accept that their experience is the morally correct one. not doing this is an incorrect reading of the text and contrary to authorial intent."

please picture me very tenderly and patiently taking your hands and looking deeply into your eyes. are you picturing it? ok good.

i do not care.

specifically, i do not care about authorial intent unless i have been specifically asked to help a writer clarify their intentions in the text. because once the text is finished and out there on bookshelves or ready to be purchased via your e-reader of choice, the text must speak for itself. if i wasn't meant to find an antagonist character as compelling and sympathetic as i do, then that's a problem for the author to solve in the rough draft of their next work, or a revised edition of the existing work. author commentary on a completed work of fiction is just that: it's commentary. it can be considered when assessing the completed work itself, but it is not part of the completed work. it exists as part of the conversation about the completed work, and carries as much weight in that conversation as any other piece of well-researched analysis out there. and if i find evidence in the text that contradicts what the author is saying in their commentary, well! 🤷‍♀️ looks like that one didn't make it past your editor! the story says what the story says! better luck in your future endeavours etc.

"but how can you dismiss the author's intentions like this? if they say that they meant for us to interpret the events in the text a certain way, shouldn't that matter? even if what they write is different, we should respect what they say they MEANT to write."

i mean, sure, i'll level with you on that point as a writer myself: it sucks when you spend a lot of time on a project and believe you've effectively told one story, only to share it with your beta readers and discover, much to your shock and horror, that you've actually communicated something totally counter to your intentions. it definitely is not a fun experience to have someone tell you, for example, "this antagonist you've written is very compelling, but do you realize you've accidentally written a negative indictment of powerful women because you have so few other women in positions of power in this draft?" that's very much an 'oh shit, i did not mean to do that' kind of moment, but if no one flags this to you before the story goes to print, your intent doesn't matter. you still wrote a story that communicates a message you did not intend for it to communicate. you might be able to revise it in later editions of the story, if you're lucky, but that first edition still stands, and it still says what it says, regardless. your commentary on that character doesn't change the material circumstances of the story.

it's impossible to divorce our biases and baggage entirely from the creative process. we are always going to end up writing things into our stories that we did not intend to place there. those unintentional inclusions in the story, however, are still absolutely part of the story. readers can't conveniently decide to strike those details from the record like they're jurors receiving instructions from a judge during a jury trial, that's not how storytelling works.

the story says what the story says, and sometimes writers are going to create an antagonist that deeply resonates with some of their readers, intentionally or otherwise. and you, either as a writer or someone who can't stand villain stanning, just have to deal with it.

#ray.txt #salty peak sect 🧂 #yeah this is about all the jin guangyao hate in the tags lately but it's also just. a comment on how people treat ~villain stans~

[its-the-val-pal]

Prompt #18: A Fish out of Water

"What'cha wanna do with 'im?" One of the men called out.

"Turn 'em over to the Maelstrom. They'll know what to do," came a second.

"Yeah?" A third replied indignantly. "An' tell 'em what, exactly? 'Hey, we're a buncha thieves what caught a thief trynna thieve our thievery?' You think they'll give us a reward? Pat on the back, maybe?"

Several of the others began chattering back and forth, flinging insults and crude comments as if they were blades, certainly meant to sting and harm whoever they'd been thrown at. This continued for a while. Long enough that their quarry had time to gain consciousness. A hush fell over the crowd and all eyes fell on the Sun Seeker; something that he'd find himself quite fond of in due time.

"How is he, ya think?"

"Can't be more than a kid."

"Nah, early twenties. Easy."

"Bit of a looker. Think we could sell 'em for a bit?"

"Doesn't look celibate at all t'me."

"That ain't what I meant ya fuckin' moron!"

"Too ragged to sell on the streets. When's the last time 'e shaved? We'll spend more money cleanin' 'im up than we'd get for him around here."

"Ship 'im off to Ul'dah then? 'Least he won't be tryna take out marks anymore."

"With what money?"

"We could give 'em the ol' Maelstrom overcoat."

There was a heavy silence then. It wasn't clear which of the thieves had said it in the dingy old shack, tucked away deep within the recesses of Limsa. A single light illuminated the room, swinging back and forth to keep the majority of those gathered in the shadows. It didn't really matter thanks to the fact that they were all masked or covered in some way. The more well-to-do, or at least higher ranked members, had actual masks. Lower ranked, at least the Miqo'te assumed, had scarfs and cloth and whatever they could piece together to hide their faces.

He hadn't actually understood what they were bickering about. Eorzean was never his first language. But he did understand context, and the silence that fell over the room was all he needed to know.

"Oooohhh 'e didn't like that."

"Not many people do. How many bodies you think are down there?"

"We could arrange for ya t'go down there an' find out yourself."

"Don't bother. He'll be followin' soon enough anyway. The cat bit him while 'e was tryna tie him up. 'e howled like a baby!"

Laughter ensued, followed by more insults and a few slung fists. But they all went quiet when one of the more wiry individuals knelt down to the Miqo'te. His outfit was.. well. Extravagant wasn't the word, seeing that they were all down on their luck. But it had less patches. Less stitching required. Less dirt and less grime, which wasn't saying much all things considered.

He gripped at the Seeker's jaw. Turned him this way and that. Used a thumb to assess his teeth and gums to ensure he at least had most of them, and was quite surprised to find that he had them all.

"Can. You. Speak?" The man asked. The Seeker spit in return. The room laughed.

"He understands us at least. Can't speak it yet. But it ain't like we can't teach him. Let him go."

The men did just that. But they had underestimated precisely how fast the Seeker was. They didn't expect him to nab another's blade and fling it at their supposed leader. Why the Miqo'te had done it outside of lashing out at those more of a direct threat was anyone's guess, but it didn't matter. The blade never met its target and the Seeker found himself pressed back against the ground, growling and snarling and struggling against his captors once more.

There was intrigue before, but now that interest had piqued. The leader found himself kneeling before the Seeker once more, careless of the fact that a blade had just missed his his face by a few ilms.

"You're shit with a blade, but we can teach you that too. What's your name?"

"Oi, boss. I think 'e wants t'be called Val."

The dagger had missed the man and embedded in the world map behind him, right on the Isle of Val.

----------------------------------------------------------------

And he'd been called that ever since; a name that stuck with him despite it being nowhere near his true name. Only one person within the civilized world knew that, and he preferred to keep it that way. The Seeker's meditation ended and he stood from his spot, letting the flames dance about along his fingers. He'd managed to ease the gates of the chakra open when needed, sending that aether and anger precisely where it needed to be.

He'd come a long way since then. He learned how to use a dagger; it'd become one of his favorite weapons, even. He learned enough Eorzean to get by. Larger words were still hard, but it was easy enough to spin the narrative into making people think he was dumb and illiterate. He learned comradery. What it was like to live in the larger city. What was expected of him and, when the time came, how to exist on his own. He owed a lot to that group of thieves, and a part of him sometimes wondered what ever became of them after they parted ways. Or where he'd be if he hadn't tried to nab from them. Who would have thought that a box of fruit would alter the course of one's life so much?

#val nunh #ffxiv #val covington #ffxiv rp #balmung #balmung rp #ffxiv oc #ffxivwrite #ffxivwrite2023

[nellie-elizabeth]

8, 10, and 15 for Malex for the OTP asks?

8. What were their first impressions of each other?

I feel like they probably knew of each other vaguely once Michael was back in Roswell and they were at the same school, but they don't have like... a specific memory of the First Time they saw each other. But Alex probably had this vague sense of Michael as an outsider, maybe even knew he was poor/didn't have parents, and didn't really think much about him more specifically than that at first. Then I picture one day people are giving presentations in class and Michael stands up and pulls something totally brilliant, and Alex suddenly notices how smart he is... and he's so cute, too...

And then Michael thinks of Alex as Liz Ortecho's friend, whatever, but then does a double-take and starts noticing Alex when he shows up to school with a septum piercing for the first time. And then he's like hmmm okay I've gotta get this guy's attention somehow...

10. Write a ~300 word argument scene for them

"It wasn't exactly your finest moment," Alex says with an eye-roll. "You were supposed to be my rescuer and you left me chained to the radiator."

"Oh, come on!" Michael says, indignant. "I accurately assessed the degree to which you were going to be an idiot and run straight for danger if you were free--"

"Says the guy who ran full-tilt towards my father holding a gun at Crash-Con."

"Yeah, after you confronted him first. I'm only stupid after you've been stupid. My stupidity is actually the inevitable consequence of your own bad decision-making."

Alex raises an unimpressed eyebrow. "Sure, yes, it's definitely all my fault."

“I didn’t exactly have any other choice. And besides, I’d done exactly what they wanted. I didn’t think they’d hurt you.”

“Mm,” Alex says, vague and quiet. He stares down at his hands, and Michael’s no longer sure the degree to which they’re joking about the ridiculous circumstances of the past, or if this is actually bothering his husband, all these years later.

"Hey. I really would have come back for you," Michael says, a little more gently. "You know that, right? Always.”

Alex looks up, a smile tugging up one corner of his mouth. “Yeah. I know.”

15. What are traits they dislike in one another?

I think an actual genuine trait that Michael dislikes in Alex is the way he shuts down and turns really cold and logical during an argument. Alex is getting better at it now that they're together, at actually accessing his feelings and expressing them, but for a long time he'd shut down and make it hard to get to the actual core of an issue, and that makes Michael feel rejected and like his own emotional reaction isn't being respected/taken seriously. He also wishes Alex would admit when he needs help more readily, although Michael has gotten better at giving him the space to feel comfortable being vulnerable.

And I think Alex probably finds some of Michael's frugal habits from his years of housing insecurity to be frustrating. Like, Michael always wants to keep doing things the way he's used to, because it's "fine" that way, and Alex doesn't like having to convince him again and again that they can afford something a little nicer and more convenient. Getting Michael to buy and use suitcases when they go on trips instead of just using garbage bags. Or spending extra money on a nicer item of clothing that will actually last longer.

I also think when they first start cohabitating they move each other's shit around a lot? Michael is trying to consolidate/make sure he knows where important things are located at all times, and Alex is trying to tidy up, and they're both constantly like "where tf did you put my shit" lmao. They get better at it after a while.

But in all the ways they clash, they both take their relationship super seriously and have learned to talk through and find solutions that work for both of them.

#malex #roswell new mexico #ask game #portraitofemmy

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

New therapist appt was the other day and I've been chewing on it ever since.

There's something about the way therapists interact with my existing/suspected diagnoses that always feels really telling and like.

I could just read the "I think you self-sabotage all your relationships" pouring off this woman the entire hour.

I....don't.

I mean. A lot of people do, it's a really normal aspect of like. 60% of mental health issues.

But that's really never been my problem. My problem is that the relationships I have are extremely limited. I could count a lifetime's worth of emotionally intimate relationships on my fingers. I also have a lot of people in my life that I know and interact with positively and care about without being at all close to! But everyone else I basically never even got around to learning their names. My relationships are actually.....shockingly stable? Most of the people I'm close to I met before leaving my undergrad program (high school/college) and there's been very little change to my social circle since then.

So like. While I get the importance of helping with this when it happens (everyone deserves a stable support system!) it is genuinely pretty unhelpful to me specifically to be treated as if that is my primary symptom needing attention. Especially on the basis of an initial session where I'm basically just rattling off my on-paper history with some more detail than the intake forms had.

I actually know how to have healthy and positive relationships and the relationships that I have in my life at this time are ones that have BEEN that consistently for me for a decade or more. What I *do* need ongoing support for is the obsessions/compulsions I've been avoiding working on for the last 10 yrs because out of everything they were the least likely to end up killing me. I need someone to assess for the possibility of ADHD. I need someone who can help me retether when my grounding/embodiment gets loose. And yeah. CBT/DBT has been helpful for that. But largely because it allows me to cope with extreme amounts of psychological stress/distress when my survival systems collapse. Not because I'm at risk of blowing up my relationships during a trigger episode. What's most helpful to me is having someone who can keep up with my own systems analysis well enough to be a genuinely useful sounding board. CBT/DBT can be a really effective vessel for that, but I've also had therapists whose primary modality was just being an anthropologist at me in a clinical setting and she was the best therapist I've ever had.

I dunno. It's just frustrating when mental health care professionals are so.....functionally off track? Like if you are focusing, as a provider, on symptoms I don't present with, while dismissing symptoms I *do* it makes me feel super not-confident in your ability to provide me adequate care. And it's like my own practice as a provider makes it that much less tolerable when my own providers are being obtuse about shit. I do actually know what I need and what my care should look like. I've been doing this longer than you, unless you're already more than 20 yrs deep into your career, so maybe take a beat to assume competence before trying to diagnose me with something no provider from my past has EVER thought I fit while suggesting my existing diagnoses, that took time and work and thought to settle on, should be overturned. The most insulting part is her KNOWING we have the same job and educational background when she made these assertions. So like. It's not even like she has an excuse for talking down to me the way she did.

"Has anyone ever talked to you about the neurological impact of early childhood trauma?"

Well maam, if the therapist who diagnosed me and took me through EIGHT GODDAMN YEARS of therapy didn't manage to cover enough of that ground, I *did* also spend 3 yrs working in the child welfare system and then took courses towards a trauma specialty certification during my masters so YEAH. SOMEONE TOLD ME.

"Sometimes we see lots of unrelated diagnoses when really it's all trauma"

Yeah, and sometimes children are born with neurological/mental health needs that predate any opportunjty for trauma and even make them more vulnerable TO that trauma when it arrives. So like maybe consider that it doesn't have to be one or the other. Maybe the other diagnoses are unrelated because they're fucking unrelated.

I wish I could say I feel satisfied with the way I advocated for myself in that session but I don't, as evidenced by the fact that I'm still rehashing the conversation 72 hours later.

I just. I don't know how I went in saying I have an existing PTSD and recent OCD diagnosis but I want to assess for the possibility of ADHD because of conversations with my wife (ADHD) and my most recent therapist (qualified LICSW) and somehow leave being told she wants to change my diagnosis to borderline on the basis of a single conversation and an introductory psych history.

It also feels super irresponsible to me given the social stigma and diagnostic stigma around BPD. Like. I have diagnosed BPD before, and you know what path I pretty much always follow? Adjustment D/o for the first 6 months of care during which we do comprehensive assessment work and some long term stabilization. Once that's in place I reassess for BPD based on symptoms I have directly observed or had reported to me. I have never suggested BPD to someone on a first appt because personality disorders are notoriously fiddly to diagnose and it would be irresponsible to try to do so without either the presence of acute and explicit symptoms or long term treatment relationships. If you're going to give a client a diagnosis that is so stigmatized within our field you better be damn sure before you ever include it on their chart. Otherwise you are setting them up for serious maltreatment within the system. And if one of your early conversations isn't then about how your client can and should advocate for themselves within the system under their new diagnosis (and the ways you plan to support them in that) you can go fuck yourself.

So yeah. I'm feeling.....anxious. about my new therapist to say the least. I'm going to keep seeing her for now. The practice itself comes highly recommended and has all the psych services I need rolled into one practice so it would be exceedingly frustrating to have to leave and I don't want to get a bad reputation by therapist hopping within the practice either. So I need to stick it out a while and see if I can make this workable. At least until end of Feb. If I get there and it still isn't working out I can let her know I'd like to go back on the waitlist for another provider. But man. It fucking sucks that she already seems to have decided on a narrative before even talking symptom occurrence patterns with me.

#mental health is weird especially when you're a mental health care provider #i'm feeling anxious and frustrated and I'm just not sure I trust that this is going to work out #i'll manage but ughhhhhh

[bonesandthebees]

Okay, I’m going to start the analysis off by saying that I do really love the crime boys in this. They have such and interesting and fucked up dynamic. Their little sneaking in and being clingy was very cute. That being said, I am very glad we get another chapter where Wilbur is isolated from Tommy for the biggest chunk of it. It kinda feels like a breath of fresh air. Especially with the fight and how much Tommy pushed last chapter. And this time it’s not spend with Niki, rather, the majority of the chapter is spent with Phil which 1. SANDDUO and 2. Is very interesting for analysis because we’ve only gotten a few conversations with them and those where very interesting. And now we got basically a full chapter.

Again, the sneaking-in had me stressed, more so than any previous sneaking because of the chapter summary. Something was going to go wrong. I was just sitting there reading with “they are going to get caught” on repeat in my head. And the further they get the more stressed I got because surely they would get caught. But rest assured, Phil was just waiting for the dramatic entrance in Wilbur’s room. This literally feels like a coming-of-age movie where the teen gets caught sneaking back in. It’s like waiting in the dark in the middle of the night to flick the lights back on.

And this is where things get fun (for us, the characters are having a Time). So on the first read, it feels like Phil is starting at Wikbur because he’s either angry and trying to figure out if this was somehow his idea or trying to get why he came back by looking alone. And the second read it’s clear that he’s probably very pointedly starting at the blood on his face and trying to stay calm because there could be so many explanations, but it’s not a good sign. I wonder if Tommy noticed the blood at any point.

Then we get the question fire while Phil is taking no prisoners. It’s also very clear that he’s pinning his anger entirely on Tommy. He knows his damn kid is a trouble makers. Angry/disappointed father mode has been activated. And the questions have 3 functions though the main one is

1. Damage assessment. Figuring out what happened a a how much danger it put them in. This is mainly the [“Where did you go?”] sequence and definitely the [“Did anyone follow you back?”] sequence. Phil’s trying to figure out how fucked they are and of course, our boys are dumb enough to lie about someone seeing Wilbur which is the one actual threat they should definitely tell Phil about. But that would get them (Tommy) into more trouble and mean admitting that it was a bad idea.

2. I think Phil is also trying to estimate how aware Tommy was of the danger and how many risks he took. In a way, it would have been less bad if it was just a stupid thing he did not realising that risks, but it’s not. Tommy was fully aware of the risks and he made the conscious decision to put everyone in danger because he Thought it would be fine. It very clearly shows that he hasn’t learned shit from the Jack situation. He’s actively getting worse. And it’s so interesting to see Tommy trying to double down and defend himself. His only argument is that he knew it would be fine. He doesn’t see that that’s the issue. And he doesn’t get that Phil keeps asking about the safety measurements because Tommy broke his trust so now he can’t be trusted at all.

And then there’s 3. And this one wasn’t realise the goal, but it’s something Phil is trying to put together regardless. It’s if Wilbur is staying willingly. And Phil already knew he got a chance and didn’t take it, but it’s different from literally taking him out. And I think Phil might have realise what Tommy was trying to do. He specifically asks [“At any point in the night, did you leave him alone?”]. It’s again seeing how much risk Tommy took and raises the question of why Wilbur is here if he had an easy chance to leave (which Phil sounds the rest of the chapter trying to figure out).

Honestly, that entire conversation is just Tommy digging himself a deeper hole and I kinda hope they keep him separated from Wilbur a bit longer. Maybe that will make him realise his mistake. Either way, he finally gets some consequences, because the previous once clearly weren’t good enough. I wonder if Phil and Techno will have to start the damn night watch again because of this.

(1/?)

-🌲

spruce <33

you get me yes glass!crimeboys is so fucked up but they're very sweet at the same time. it's exactly what you said. they were literally sneaking in like mischievous children only for phil to be waiting like in teen movies when the kid walks into the living room and turns on the light and dad's just sitting in the chair with his hands folded in front of him lmao

I was so excited to write this chapter for the sandduo dynamic. I've been wanting to show them interacting more for ages now but I had to wait until they were both at a point where it felt realistic for them to have these kinds of conversations. it's all about that pacing, yknow?

actually phil didn't notice the blood immediately. at first he was staring at wilbur because he was trying to figure out if tommy had dragged him back unwillingly or something like that, but because he was staring at him so intently, he then noticed the blood and immediately zeroed in on it. tommy did not notice the blood though, because wilbur's hair was covering that part of his face for the most part. trust me, if tommy had noticed the blood he would've said something

yeah. phil knows his kid. he knows this is tommy's fault lmao. he wanted to focus on the most pressing issues first, which of course starts out with the danger assessment to see how fucked they are. while it is partly worse that tommy knew full well what the risks were and went for it anyway, in a way it's a bit of a relief for phil because at least tommy is aware of that stuff. he's just making stupid choices with that knowledge, but he knows what he's doing. that also pisses phil off more though.

as the convo went on phil fully realized what tommy was doing with wilbur. and he's not happy, but when he learns that wilbur willingly stayed, that makes him reconsider some things. which then sets the tone for the rest of the chapter, because phil wants to figure out why. why would wilbur choose to stay? what's going on in his head? he knows there's a lot more to the pythia than what meets the eye and that he's got some issues he's struggling to work through, but he doesn't really get it until this chapter. because now he has solid evidence that the pythia doesn't want to go back to the palace, so phil has reason to find out why that is.

#ask #spruce anon #through a glass divine

[martian-garden]

Message to people who have had their boundaries stepped on and smashed and ignored so badly in a way that they finally understood was wrong, and now finally have the power to do something about it in other walks of life:

what happened to you was wrong and your boundaries are real and should be respected

2. Not every negative gut reaction you have is an appropriate boundary, AND I WILL EXPLAIN.

Reasonable people will use the same phrases and communicative language with you that the people who ignored you did at first, and that those people used to gaslight you into making what they were asking of you seem insignificant. The language, tone, and situation is now something you associate with a behavior that harmed you. You will have gut reactions that say "this person is trying to force me to do something I don't want to do" and "they shouldn't ask that kind of thing". But ultimately what you may be having a knee-jerk to is the SITUATION, not the ask. It is a legitimate healing process to get thru that, but it does get easier as you learn how to take steps back and assess what is really being asked of you. But you are still responsible for what you say and do to other people, even if it is a response meant to protect you. If someone does something that feels like overstepping or says something that feels like overstepping, here are some things to ask yourself:

-"what do they want from me with this interaction?" example, a friend tells you "i bought us tickets to a live music show at a small venue! I want you to come!" and the idea of it terrifies you. but did they do this ultimately out of a wish to spend time with you, offer an avenue for you to try something new? It's possible they did it out of ignorance of how afraid you are of these things, or to deliberately make you feel guilty that they bought you something, but you have to sit and think about whether they would do this and what kind of person that would make them.

-"do they genuinely need something?" asking for you to come get them from a relative's house (in the event they cannot get alternative transport) or asking you if you can take them to the store may reflect a genuine need. if you cannot oblige, communicate that, but it is not wrong of them to ask, and usually indicates trust.

-"are they setting or communicating their own boundaries?" Have you asked for something that seems reasonable to you, but they refuse? For example, asking a roommate to be quiet after ten pm every day? If they refuse, that isn't necessarily them ignoring you; they might have a need you don't know about. perhaps a partner or family member in a later time zone they can only talk to late at night, or a shift schedule that means they're most active at night. You can ask clarifying questions, but ultimately, you are not always owed an explanation and you cannot make people do things or not do things. sometimes human have conflicting needs, and that's just the reality. you will have to find a way to make it work.

-"am i afraid?" Sometimes unfamiliarity in general is terrifying, especially for some types of ND folks. However, you cannot impose your idea of safety onto other people's lives. For example, people around you may change their names, pronouns, move to new cities, meet new people they want to introduce you to. You can be afraid, but unfortunately fear and discomfort are, until tangible harm occurs (like actual harm. Passive fear on your part does not constitute harm.) an internal issue.

It sucks to hear this shit, bc you just got to a point where you have realized that all of the horrible things that have been happening to you aren't your fault. And correct: the feelings that happen to you are not your fault! But they aren't always the people around you's fault either, and they are your responsibility. Putting them onto other people is doing both yourself and them a disservice.

I wish you strength and dignity in your healing.

#rsd #boundaries #neurodivergent #mental health #boost if you want

[blackcandlesinwinter]

Anyway, on a less grouchy note: a decent educator works on developing their classes with the sort of devotion, research, creativity, and effort that most folks attribute to artists or performers. We spend so much time researching the best ways to help our students learn and we creatively craft the activities and assessments and classroom experience out of love and care. We reach out to students who are struggling and we adjust and accommodate what we're doing to try to help them. We sink a TON of emotional effort into what we do. I know there's plenty of shitty professors out there who don't really care about teaching, but I have SO many colleagues to care so, so much and pour so much of themselves into creating a course that will support, uplift, and educate the students there. And I've had professors like that as well (and a few shitty ones and most that are somewhere in between).

Much like with an artist or a performer, a big part of surviving in this profession is to try really, really hard not to take your audience's response to your work personally. And that's hard when you pour so much time and creativity and care into a class and the students just don't respond or engage, or get annoyed that you're asking them to participate in their own learning. You know, intellectually, that there's a million impersonal reasons that might lead to their disengagement. You must always consider that your teaching method just isn't working and you need to adjust it. But it could also be that the students are sleep-deprived, they have shit going on in their lives, they have another exam they're thinking about, they are just cranky that day, they're coming down with a cold, they aren't used to your teaching methods, they're hung over, they're hungry, they are in pain, they skipped a couple of assignments and are now lost, they're first gen students and are still learning the ropes, they're ADHD, they just aren't fully on today for whatever reason, etc. And possibly a couple of them are just kinda assholes. It's so important keep these latter reasons front-and-center in your mind, both to avoid burn-out, and also so you can be compassionate and identify students that have additional needs where you can offer support.

But, we're still human, so sometimes it really does still get to you. Like "You're here because you say you want to learn, so I worked hours and hours designing something from scratch just for you, and then I came up here in front of a crowd of you to present it with all of the passion and care and effort that I can. And y'all don't even want to try it and are just scrolling on your phones and getting pissy with me when I tell you to participate"... that does really sting. No matter how much you try to remind yourself not to take it personally, sometimes it's just gonna get to you. And I guess I just have to wallow in it and vent for a couple days and then take a deep breath and move on.

Anyway, some things that have helped is a) remembering all the really positive interactions I've had with my students that still make me smile and b) checking in with another professor that I trust to get some advice on how to reset the dynamic in the classroom, as well as some reassurance that I don't just suck at my job. I'm armed with a few new ideas now to try and I'm tentatively hopeful that most of the students in the class are actually receptive to what I'm doing and it's just a handful that are bringing things down. Am I still going to end up in a confrontation with one of the students? ... maybe. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

#education #college #i'm slowly feeling less frustrated #it'll be fine #just gotta get it out of my system.

[1001aus]

WIP Wednesday

"We don't know what the Wraith are actually feeding on or how. If it's some kind of time dilation there's nothing we can do, but if I can figure out their space magic vampire shit I might be able to reverse this."

"You can't get those answers from a genetic sample in two weeks," Weir says.

"There are more efficient ways."

They stare each other down. Weir knows exactly what he's asking for, what he needs to figure out the Wraith, but most of the expedition is still of the impression he's his creator. Alex isn't sure if she's weighing the risks of sending him out Wraith hunting or waiting for the recon team to figure out what he's asking for. Maybe both, knowing her.

Most of the expedition are geniuses so it doesn't take long.

"You want us to catch a Wraith. A live one."

It's not surprising Sheppard is the one who gets it—McKay wouldn't think of something so stupid, but Sheppard is a soldier.

"Oh, great. Let's just bring a Wraith into the city! That can't possibly go wrong," McKay shouts, tossing his hands up with his typical drama.

"Of course the Wraith wouldn't be coming into the city. I'd go to them."

Alex rolls his eyes. When he ignores McKay and watches Sheppard instead he can see the man inspecting Weir; assessing her confidence in the outcome, probably.

Alex is confident and she knows what he can do. He's even well stocked up on biomass from absorbing every stray bit of dust he could get his tendrils into back on Earth and practicing his photosynthesis in the desert sun. There's been less opportunity on Atlantis, but even the long abandoned, completely sealed city has left behind biomass and he's been photosynthesizing during his off work hours under the LED lights he packed in his personal belongings. Since he isn't on any of the recon teams Alex hasn't used much of it up.

Even assuming the average Wraith is as tough as the Supreme Hunter, they'll be significantly less adaptable.

"We have trouble enough killing a Wraith. Catching one alive won't be easy," Sheppard says.

"Won't need to be alive long," he answers.

Alex wanders over to Sumner's bed and inspects the vitals readouts with a grimace. Not having much medical experience, even secondhand, little of it means much to Alex. All of the Gentek scientists and doctors he consumed specialized primarily in research and most of them never did any type of practical patient care.

"Two weeks."

His smile is probably too sharp to be completely human, but he doesn't care at the moment. There are more important things to think about now.

"Then I'd best go find Teyla."

Alex turns on his heel and heads for the training rooms where Teyla spends a large part of her time. Behind him Sheppard and McKay both hurry after, McKay with significantly more noise. He ignores McKay's questions and ranting, mildly grateful for Sheppard's military background that means he knows when not to ask any. He feels a moment of regret for Cross getting caught by the Supreme Hunter.

---

This is from several chapters in to this fic (which is not yet posted at all, though the first chapter might go up soon) but I think it mostly stands on its own. This whole idea was spawned by my thoughts about how much Alex Mercer (blacklight edition) has in common with the Wraith.

#wip wednesday #fic tag #stargate atlantis #prototype game #starbones

[gooobert]

A Slight Detour

Alright SO I'm coming at you all with a Harringsmith fic. It was inspired by a conversation I had with @trevsawriter, and I know I'm a total novice when it comes to fics but I thought I'd at least share it :) gimme some consctructive feedback!

Word Count: 1.5k Reading Time: ~5 Min

If there was anything Quentin hated more than hot, muggy weather, it was running. But when they're all put together? It made him agitated and on the verge of hyperbolic violence.

Sure, he's good at swimming, but on land? No better than a fish out of water.

Their graduating class is back from summer vacation; it's around the second or third week. Quentin couldn't remember, every day was a blur - same shit, different curriculum. He'd have to admit, he isn't used to this heat. Especially when he had been in his air-conditioned room, spending his free time trying to catch every Pokémon on his Switch.

Or, as Steve liked to call them, "little Pokeymen."

No matter how many times Quentin corrected him, Steve wasn't changing. He could handle the retro classics like Metroid or Dr. Mario, which Quen loved - Steve knew a fair amount of cheats that aren't readily available on the web.

And so what if they spent the summer playing games all day? They didn't have to be harassed by their parents, and as long as Steve got to drag his boyfriend to the beach every couple weeks, he couldn't complain.

Speaking of which, it was Steve that threw his hand on Quentin's shoulder, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"Didja hear me? We're starting soon."

Quentin couldn't help but expel a groan. Since they were starting a new school year, the gym teachers were performing routine fitness assessments. He couldn't care any less, but he knew his dad would chew him out for not at least getting a baseline grade.

That, and Steve had been talking about a detour they could take to avoid both the coach and sweating. As much as Steve wouldn't turn down a time to show off his athletics, he was not going to let the muggy weather and his sweat ruin his absolutely perfect hair.

"I want you to just follow my lead, 'kay? Try to keep up."

"And what if I don't?"

Steve stopped stretching his shoulder to snap his head in Quentin's direction, eyebrows furrowed as he made an artificially-dramatic glare. "Hey. Do you want my help or-"

Their banter was cut off by the shouting of their teacher, who immediately blew the whistle; their run only beginning. The mass of students moved like a large blob, sneakers reverberating off each other's steps on the asphalt.

The high school didn't have the money for an actual track; all of the funding essentially went to their competitive swim team, leaving the cross country students to have to make their own warmup track with what they had. One part of Quen would normally felt pity, but he would have rather given them his middle finger.

Quentin liked to eat anywhere but the cafeteria, the dining hall was too loud, the food was some type of Lovecraftian horror, and it wasn't like he had a large group of friends to chat with. One time, he tried to eat his lunch in the backwoods of the school, preferring a quiet area to cram before his exam the next period. The track team boys, practicing for their upcoming meet, didn't seem to like a swim team member on their "turf" - kicking up some dust into Quentin's lunch. He honestly couldn't give less of a shit, but hey - that's karma.

And he couldn't complain, now both he and Steve have a ritual of eating together on the hood of Steve's car. Harrington was a sucker for older cars, caring for his BMW like it was his own damn baby. Quentin liked to tease him over who Steve was really in love with.

And God forbid Quen ever gets behind the wheel or else Steve acts like a helicopter parent; scolding him for driving too fast, or not easing into the breaks as gradually as Steve thinks he should, grabbing hold of the car frame as he braces for his boyfriend to crash. Quentin would be offended by it, but who else would be there to intentionally swerve the car and scare the shit out of Steve?

The sound of feet hitting asphalt - now turning into tightly packed soil - brought Quentin back to the present, where the group of students began to disperse, their varying speeds creating distance. He was more towards the back of the group, disinterested with the athletic kids in front - as if they had a point to prove. Like some Olympic recruiter had nothing better to do; deciding to go to bumfuck Ohio to scout for prospective talent.

Steve was the only one Quen could focus on - now near the front - the faster group beginning to rush into the woods.

He wasn't sure how, but it only took a few, mere seconds to lose track of Steve. There were too many paths to discern where he went, the only obvious one being the path the teachers chose, which had painted arrows on the cedar trees. Once out of the teacher's eyesight, Quentin went from his jog to a walk, running a hand through his curls as he caught a breath. The final stragglers went past him, leaving Smith all by himself.

Or rather, he thought he was by himself until a hand placed a firm grip on his shoulder, stopping him in his tracks-

"Woah, easy, it's just me," Steve cooed, trading his firm grip on Quen's shoulder for a few reassuring pats.

His body relaxed at the sight of Harrington. You could still see his reddish-pink splotches of skin; sunburnt from when they went to the beach the other day. Most of it was encased around Steve's neck, which was covered by the lower tips of his mullet. He circled around to face his body towards Quentin's, leaning his back on the bark of a tree.

"You have no idea how much I've missed you," he fondly stated, looking up and down at his boyfriend.

"It's only third period."

"Only," he mimicked in a retort, Steve's back now leaving the tree to get closer to Quentin. Their faces were now less than a foot apart; the smell of Steve's cologne and musk overwhelming the former scent of the outdoors.

"Then let's make up for some lost time, mm?"

That's all Steve needed to hear, the only thing holding him back from throwing himself at Quen. Steve wrapped one arm around Smith's back, nestled under the shoulderblades. The other hand was busy leaning on another tree, coincidentally behind Quentin's back.

It's not insurmountable that the former king of Hawkins High is a great kisser. Steve's cheek grazed Quentin's nose as the former tilted his head.

It tasted sweet, and was faintly reminiscent of their breakfast from that morning; something of a routine between the two. Steve would pick Quentin up before school, and Quen would buy them both a pair of coffees or even a muffin or two depending on how hungry they felt. It made Quentin want more, leaning into Steve and allowing his eyes to remain firmly shut.

Once they broke apart for some air, he opened his eyes to see how burnt his boyfriend really looked in the sun. The skin on the bridge of Steve's nose was slightly peeling, despite how much his mom nagged him to apply sunscreen from their beach day, and even lotion, now.

They went back in for kissing - to the point where Quentin was too busy picking at Steve's sunburns to the jock's dismay - for a little while. It was only a matter of time before the echoes of a whistle were heard, signifying their time was being cut short. Steve made some whines of annoyance before turning Quen to face alongside him.

"I'm going to run through those two trees there and take a right, then a left at the large rock, y'can't miss it. Just go, like, 20 seconds after me, 'kay?"

"What, don't want the kid who doesn't try at gym to finish with the all-star athlete?"

That made Steve click his tongue, his eye roll not matching the growing smirk on his face. He began to turn away before his head snapped around to face Quentin for a final time. "Oh, and one more thing - what're we doing after school today?"

Quentin crossed his arms and gave Steve a puzzled look. "I thought we'd go to practice, unless you have a better-"

"Nonononono, I was just curious…" he paused, pursing his lips. "I'll see you after last period."

And off he went, running a hand through his hair and returning to a jog.

"I'll see you!" Quentin shouted, waving Harrington goodbye. Man, he could kill to have practice begin early. This weather will be the death of him someday, he's sure, but then how else could Steve heroically save him from heatstroke? He thought about that scenario as he began to resume his run, their gym teacher being none the wiser as the two boys joined the rest of the class.

#dbd #dbd fic #harringsmith #quentin smith #steve harrington

[casliveblog]

Custom Toonami Block Week 134 Rundown

Spy X Family: Anya and Loid move Yor into the house and don’t notice anything weird about how she has a Dragon Maid level of speed and power in everything she does. It’s kinda funny how Anya is very much portrayed as of her age and isn’t more mature because of her powers but she still had enough mind about her to not accidentally blurt out anyone else’s secrets despite blurting similar things. Anyway the practice interview goes terrible so Loid tries to take them out to do rich people shit so they can say rich people things during the interview but between Anya being a five year old and having an anxiety attack whenever they’re around more than four people and Yor orgasming over anything sharper than a butter knife it’s kind of a rough day. Also they talk about backdating their marriage certificate but like Yor has friends at the tailor’s that know she definitely wasn’t married last week so it feels like this story would fall apart real easily if anyone went digging at all but I guess Yor being as socially awkward as she is at least minimalizes that chance. Anyway after some adorable shenanigans the group use their respective abilities to catch a purse snatcher while not letting the others know of their roles and Loid has an existential crisis about actually getting thanked for helping someone. The day’s experiences help them do marginally better on the interview questions despite Anya still saying she’s gonna murder people so yeah I guess we’re ready.

Inuyasha: So you remember that bit where Inuyasha’s training with the Tessaiga and Totosai gets him to do a lot of chores convincing him it’s training? That’s basically this plot stretched out into an entire episode. Apparently Kagura’s been running around killing monks so the Baby can try and peek at the spiritual border between worlds to get the last jewel shard and Mushin, Miroku’s stepdad thinks he’ll be next and so gets the group to do all his chores and shit thinking he’ll die while the rest of them think he’s deathly ill. It’s a complete waste of time but does kinda lead to some of the best comedy moments of the series with everyone using their powers to do housework and the scene of everyone getting drunk and doing Three Kagome Karaoke and Drunk Sango flirting with Inuyasha always kill me, plus in the end Miroku does seem genuinely happy to spend more time with his father figure reflecting on his own mortality so while it’s ridiculously pointless it’s about as fun as a ridiculously pointless episode can be.

Yu Yu Hakusho: The group re-assess their strategy and get ready to invade Sensui’s place and it’s kinda funny cause they go in with the main three with Seaman as a temporary replacement Kuwabara and they just get kicked back out cause Gamemaster’s like ‘nah bro bring seven’ so they have to go out like twenty minutes later and bring everyone but Botan back in and like there’s absolutely no narrative reason for this to happen it’s just kind of hilariously pedantic. But yeah apparently it’s an RPG-themed game that is oddly anachronistic and just throws a bunch of different game genres in there and it’s the game Yusuke was playing while Kuwabara was out being attacked by Seaman, feel like that would’ve been a neat time for the anime to show a bit more of the game to make the easter egg hit harder but idk. Turns out Yusuke’s a big fan but he kinda sucks and never beat it while Kuwabara, the other nerd guy and Genkai of all people have beaten it a few times. So they rig up their team and first to four wins is the winner and Seaman gets to do his Junior Darby brother fight in Tennis World while Gamemaster chides him for being a little traitor bitch but Seaman’s pretty cool here and manages to pull of a win and is like ‘man I can’t destroy the world because I’m unhappy I have to work on me’ which is pretty chill, really liked that.

Jujutsu Kaisen: It’s time for Nobara’s introduction episode and she’s… kinda hard to get a read on, like she’s an arrogant brat and ridiculously petty but also elegant and confident and seems to kinda switch on a dime so I guess she makes a good intermediary for Yuji and Megumi since she could be on the same page as either of them at any time though she seems closer to Yuji’s goofiness mostly. Gojo throws Yuji and Nobara into the generic ‘random test mook enemy for character development’ house like we got in last week’s Chainsaw Man and we get Nobara’s backstory and are also introduced to the idea that curse beasts like to fuck with humans and just do fucked up shit to force them into sadistic situations. Nobara controls nails and voodoo dolls and fucks up the mooks with an assist from Yuji while reflecting on her reasons for being there. Turns out she grew up in a small town and was sickened by the prejudice the countryfolk showed her big city friend and wanted to literally move away from that small-mindedness and do fun city shit in the process so it’s like a combination of Rika Furude’s Higurahi Gou motivation and Ochako’s initial motivation like half material half symbolic and it looks like a pretty neat dynamic amongst the three of them. Also there’s a glimpse at next week’s enemy where apparently it kills one of the three first years but given that all these guys are still in the opening and I’ve never heard of a Mami Tomoe-style twist for this series I’m thinking there’s probably more to it than that.

Chainsaw Man: Picking up right after we left off with Power drenching a quarter of the city in Devil blood her and Denji are really going at it and only calmed by mutual simping for Makima. They are literally fighting like cats and dogs since Denji has a dog heart and Power likes cats but when Power says he can get to second base for saving her cat he IMMEDIATELY is like ‘fuck man I love cats fuck all my homies that hate cats’ and the next day he signs Power out of the Devil Nursing Home or whatever and they go to find her cat. Turns out it’s a setup and Power made a deal with the Bat Devil who actually is holding her pet cat hostage since she pulled a Misty’s Bike with the cat and claimed she was fattening it up while murdering things a lot bigger and meatier than it to feed it. Power apparently doesn’t understand metaphor and doesn’t get Denji’s part Devil so when the Bat Devil squeezes him like a Capri-Sun to vampire his way back to health he nearly gets sick because yeah Denji just looks like he doesn’t taste good. I’m just kinda confused about the timeline here like Power went from a naked wilderness girl with a cat to… getting clothes, being admitted into Makima’s devil program, being marginally introduced to human culture and society just to get the Bat Devil one human? Like she couldn’t just bonk someone on the head and drag them there? Like I get Makima prolly found her pretty quick and being signed out by Denji is probably the first time she’s not being watched like a hawk since she was found but still that means the Bat Devil just sat and waited for however long all that shit took and actually kept her cat alive for it all when he had no way of knowing how long this would take? Anyway the Bat Devil eats the cat and Power and Denji is kinda running half and half on motivation to save Power because he genuinely empathizes with her and half because boobs, like I feel like Denji kind of has a problem identifying his emotions and just assumes he’s doing things for the most selfish reasons like I don’t want to assign overly noble goals to him because it’s clear he’s a subversion of your normal shonen goodboy but he feels like he’s lying to himself at least a little. Like during the fight with the Bat Devil he claims not to be trying to protect people but also tells every civilian he meets to run away so he’s not ambivalent he just seems to either be lying or at least not willing to let protecting people get in the way of winning and/or boobs. We’re still in that process of excavating Denji’s standards so he may also just not be able to process anything other than his current goal like he’s a video game character with one sidequest slot and it’s currently boobs. Anyway he disembowels the Bat Devil so Power’s prolly fine though who knows for the cat we’ll see, I know from the scene that became a meme a while ago that he does end up feeling her up so it prolly turns out alright.

Ranking of Kings: We started out with Hilling taking a lot of energy to heal Bojji after Daida fucked him up real bad last episode which shows Daida’s whole ‘Bojji will never hold a sword again’ thing was really premature. And after that we just skip to the old king dying like that happened really fast jesus fuck I thought we’d have some more waffling but nope going right for the throat I guess and it leaves the kingdom in the awkward position of deciding which of these twelve year olds is best to oversee their whole kingdom. Though given one of them is deaf, mute and hits like a wet noodle, the peeps kinda have a prejudice towards their other generic teenager. See when the king died and a demon popped out of him and pointed to the kid that’s supposed to be the next king and laughed that was the perfect excuse to go ‘uhhh well maybe we don’t go with him’ so Daida gets to be king and wastes absolutely no time getting down to evil shit and demanding the two guys that voted for Bojji to be king be murdered because he’s a teenager and will do whatever enchanted mirrors tell him to. You see this is why in real life we had King Regents do the king shit until baby kings were old enough to have their balls drop. Meanwhile Kage’s taken away and having an assumed assassin say he’s going to ‘help’ the guy that just got jipped out of being king prolly isn’t a good look so snake assassin dude sends him off on a journey to… do some random shit idk. Bojji even asks the assassin dude’s best friend the two headed hydra snake and hydra snake’s like ‘bro you’re adorable and I love you but I can’t help other than saying he’s gone on a quest and lots of peeps like you’. So with all this on his mind Bojji decides he wants to go on a journey too in order to prove he can do shit without causing embarrassment on a national scale. Hilling is having none of this and forbids it until they both remember what it was like when it was just her and Bojji and even though she’s a stepmom she does love him like a son in her own way and even helped heal the baby hydra snake when it was a baby and it’s really sweet. So Bojji gets to go to visit Hilling’s parents on what’s a glorified red riding hood quest with his sword tutor and the one guy in the whole kingdom that wanted to go and knows sign language so epic quest ahoy!

Vinland Saga: So Floki and Askeladd’s negotiations to kill Thors kinda fall through and Askeladd’s men kill Floki’s hidden assassin so he’s kinda stuck paying double. Askeladd brings up a lot of the questions I had last episode and hypothesizes that Floki wants to kill Thors for personal reasons but wants someone else to do it both so he can keep his hands clean and in case Thors fucks up his entire crew. The day to go to war finally comes and everyone wants Ylva which is understandable because she’s hot as fuck but Leif lets all the homegirls know they’ll be ditching off all the warhungry young boys with Leif’s ship when they get to Norway so Thors is going to war alone so the young men can live. So they set out and turns out Thorfinn is pulling his best Monkey D. Luffy impression and pops out of a barrel which I imagine is gonna be hell on his mom and sister who just have no idea where he is for however long this backstory-generating death journey takes. Thors tells the dude that has the hots for his daughter that having children is what made him not want to fight anymore or at least it was the start of a longer change of character since he was still generic muscle man at that point. The group gets to the Viking equivalent of a truck stop and immediately get ambushed by Askeladd’s group dumping enough wreckage on them to create a miniature dam which feels like it shouldn’t work that smoothly but I’m not a marine physicist. Thors is ready to pacifist run through everyone and punches them without killing but Askeladd obviously has some weird power people on his crew and like a dozen archers above them so this is gonna be trouble.

#ooc #Toonami #Custom Toonami Block #Spy X Family #Inuyasha #Yu Yu Hakusho #Jujutsu Kaisen #Chainsaw Man #Ranking of Kings #Vinland Saga

[littlebigmouse]

TMA MAG 61 and the 'meh' episode

Don't get me wrong. I fucking love Daisy. The entire intro dialogue between Daisy accusing Jon of murder - which, yeah, actually, good point! - then leaning back and casually proclaiming that well, guess he has an alibi, but any funny business and she'll break his bones - priceless. A long-needed show of teeth in this show for sure.

Like, I'd permanently add Daisy and Basira to the "Tim&Sasha go on spooky adventures breaking into police files" spin-off, based on these few minutes of dialogue from these characters. Season 2 in general really upped it's character introductions to whole new levels. Every single new character introduced this season has left a lasting and strong impression, despite their incredibly limited screentime.

Which is exactly why I was so disappointed in the statement itself, or rather, in its presentation.

Because it's written exactly like any other statement, and that narrative style absolutely does not work here.

Sidenote: I took a while longer to get used to Daisy's voice? I feel like some of her deliveries could have been stronger, and her voice sounds rather soft for her character. That however I think is a matter of taste, and they could make such a contrast work, if, you know, the statement had taken more care to characterise her properly.

But man. The entire introduction is spend on establishing Daisy, potentially the front she's putting up, but we're getting a rather quick picture. Her sentences are short and to the point. She does not speak to fill an awkward silence, she does not mind seeing Jon squirm a bit. She's assessing him, and she's doing so calmly. She takes her time to answer questions, but we get hints of a temper, both through her threats of violence and some of the snappier answers she gives. She's an experienced police detective who's dealt with some shit over the years.

Now, given this premise, everything we've just learning about the character -

Does Daisy strike you as someone who goes on a two-paragraphs long word-vomitty rant about shitty coffee instead of getting to the point of her story?

I completely understand that the statements all have an incredibly similar style of writing, that's just what happens when one person/ a small team of writers write 60+ short stories within very similar themes and structure. The in-universe explanation for these could very well be that all the people who gives statements have a thing in common: They're all 'normal' people who encountered something beyond their comprehension, that spooked them in some way they sought out the archives to get their story to paper. Especially with the written accounts it makes sense they'd get a bit poetic or describtive or rambly at times, given how little or how much time every statement writer took to get their story down with all the detail they felt they needed to convey that their fear is real and valid, and whatever hurt them is still out there. All the narrators come from the same place, essentially, baring some variation.

Except Daisy.

Daisy isn't someone who just got spooked desperate to get her story out. Daisy is a hardened cop who is talking to someone she up until very briefly believed to be a murderer she needed to distract. She still hasn't made her mind up about this person, but she's willing to indulge and tell a story about something that happened a long time ago and was supposedly a first in a long line of weird and or creepy events.

I think the writing did even try to show her clipping speaking style through the many short sentences in the beginning, but the hurried way of speaking from the VA didn't really make that work. And the rest of the statement does what any other statement does: it establishes Daisy as a normal rookie cop (bitching about shitty coffee with a slight temper (her comment on wishing she'd get to punch more drunks), who encounters something spooky (by slowly setting the scene with detailed and colourful descriptions of the weather that day, the rising tension at the van) and is in over her head (the incredibly rushed manner of speaking, the long sentences, all the rambly bits).

Which, you know, may have been true for Daisy back when the story happened. I don't think I would have minded had the premise of the episode been that Jon finds a statement Daisy made 14 years ago and asks her about it.

Maybe Daisy is a lot more nervous in this conversation than she initially let on, and the story was also bringing back unpleasant memories that upset her to a degree that would have her this rambly. Maybe the effect is underlined by her VA talking way faster than I'm used to with John.

But damn if that doesn't contradict the entire intro, and thus her believability as a character and seasoned detective.

Daisy showed awareness of her effect on Jon, of her own behaviour in this conversation - if talking to Jon and telling a spooky story has her immediately this rambly, essentially breaking character of the front she just put up, I wonder how her record is with interrogating suspects, or any kind of successfull police work where you need to keep up a facade a little longer than that.

They could have broken the format a bit. Have her start out the statement more clipped, short sentences delivered deliberately. Then, some coaxing from Jon, some more leading questions, questions that seem unreasonable to her because she's not used on including them in the relevant information - her mood, the weather, the overall atmosphere - make her reconsider the story a bit, make her give more details as she herself thinks them over.

The statement could have put more work into taking into account how Daisy presents herself to Jon - she doesn't trust him yet, so revealing either seemingly useless information or potentially incriminating personal and/or emotional information should have more weight than a quickly forgotten side-line. Daisy feels like a third person narrator to her own story.

All this does get better once the statement starts focusing on the van drivers, but I couldn't help but feel like a great opportunity for some characterisation was lost, which sadly hurt my investment in Daisy's tale considerably.

Her anger at the end is also a bit... hmpf. Like, girl, you chose to tell the story. I feel like that bit would have been stronger if she'd interrupted herself in the middle, considering whether or not to continue.

Again, her anger at the end seems to characterise her as more impulsive and short-tempered as we initially realized, but it seriously hurts her credibility when she seemingly told Jon something she didn't mean to say... in a sudden impulsive... 20 minutes long fit of emotion. Right.

Also man, the amount of bottomless pits feat endless twisting hallways in this show is staggering :D

Also the implications of the Met having been infiltrated so deep by supernatural forces that they have a working and frequently used anti-vampire protocol is the best world building detail in... idk, episodes. Love it.

#tma #tma season 2 #jonathan sims #daisy tonner #tma live reaction