#your childhood? what about my fucking LIFE

[ohcorny]

since class and classism is your pet issue in writing, id love to hear any advice you have on writing that sort of stuff!

hmm. this is a very good question, but i feel like to answer it you need to ask and answer another question for yourself:

what is your relationship to class?

for me, it was growing up with one parent whose family was old money wealthy enough to live on an island in new england and belong to a yacht club and send three sons to ivy league colleges, and one parent from the working class south, who did not go to school until much later in life. it was being best friends with a girl whose house had holes in the floor, and going to summer camp to learn how to sail. it was being a teenager and going to the mansion of a friend of a friend, whose family was the sort of fuck-you rich where they didn't know how to spend it or decorate and just filled their rooms with expensive garbage and toys, and making a joke about a package being a present for me, and the kid saying in total, dismissive sincerity 'i don't know you well enough' and never going to his house again, and never wanting to be like that kid. it was realizing as i got older that my childhood was unimaginable to my closest friends, and as time has gone on, unimaginable to most people today, and it was just because i got lucky. and being very angry about the unfairness of it.

so i guess my interest in class is just me unpacking that lived experience.

what in your life have you experienced regarding class that you have to unpack? what aspects of unfairness spoke to you? what harms have you experienced, witnessed, felt? and how can you apply those to your work and your characters, and what they'd feel in their situations?

[that-trans-autistic-guy]

DBD Incorrects Quotes from a Random Generator Online

Edwin: You have your weirdly sincere humility Charles: I prefer the term 'self loathing' actually

Edwin: No more making fun of me when I misuse dated cultural references, alright? Are we cowabunga on this? Crystal, sighing: Fine. We're cowabunga.

Niko: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life. Crystal: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back… Charles: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this. Mick: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years. Jenny: I knew I lost that potential somewhere. Edwin: Mental stability, my old friend! Niko: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

Niko: We all have our demons. Crystal, grabbing David: This one’s mine!

Crystal: Seriously, all you do is bitch. Edwin: I happen to bitch the perfect amount for someone in my situation.

Edwin: Ask me anything. Go ahead, I'll give you a straight answer. Charles: Why are we so fucking awesome? Edwin: That's the best fucking question anybody's ever asked.

The Sprites: PEASANT. I REQUIRE SUSTENANCE. Niko: You know there are other ways to say you want McDonalds. The Sprites: FOUL PLEBEIAN. YOU DARE SPEAK AGAINST ME— Niko: sigh What do you want? The Sprites: Chicken nuggets please.

Charles: Are you a cuddler? Edwin: I'm a machine of death and destruction. Charles: Edwin: …Yeah, I'm a cuddler.

Esther: You’d be stupid to lay a hand on me. Charles: Oh, you’d be surprised how much stupid shit I do.

The squad is playing a team sport Niko: Are you upset you don’t get to be on the same team as Edwin? Charles: Have you ever played a game with Edwin? Niko: No… Charles: Have you ever been trapped in a cage with a wolverine? Meanwhile, on the other side of the field Edwin, chasing Crystal: I SAID FASTER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD “FASTER” MEANS? IT MEANS MORE FAST!!!!

Crystal: Why are we friends? Edwin: Poor decisions on your part.

Charles: falls down the stairs Edwin: Are you okay? Niko: Stop falling down the stairs! Crystal: How’d the ground taste?

Crystal, T-posing in the doorway: Greetings, Jenny. Jenny, not looking up from their coffee: Good morning, problem child.

Edwin: My level of gay has reached “sighing deeply whenever anything extremely heterosexual happens near me”.

Monty: Why is it so hard for you to believe me?! Charles: … Monty: Oh, right. The lying.

Charles: Being half asleep and feeling someone gently plant a kiss on your forehead is one of the purest kinds of love in the world. Crystal: Unless you're home alone.

Edwin: Are you really planning to shoot the demon? Crystal: Don't worry, it's a holy gun. Edwin: How so? Crystal: It makes holes.

Crystal: I need life advice. Jenny, sipping wine and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person.

Charles: Edwin, you love me, right? Edwin: Normally I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like.

Edwin: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine. Charles: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again. Edwin: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?? Charles: Is it working?

Charles: Edwin taught me to think before I act. Charles: …So if I smack the shit out of you, rest assured that I thought about it and am confident in my decision.

Night Nurse, smugly, after security arrives to escort Edwin and Charles out: So, do you wanna walk out of here or do you wanna be carried out? Edwin, in defeat: Let’s go. Charles: Wait. Edwin: What? Charles: I’d kinda like to be carried out…

#dead boy detectives #incorrect quotes #edwin payne #charles rowland #crystal palace #niko sasaki

[foursaints]

Can you talk some more about bartydora if you dont mind

i've touched on this briefly before, but barty is an interesting character to pair with others for me because of his role as essentially just an Unsolvable Equation.

like his identity formation was so stunted & abnormal that barty is just layers of masks all the way down. he's an mc escher staircase. but the way others react to that problem reveals a lot about themselves!! and it's compounded by the fact that the twins (an inventor, a surgeon) are both problem-solvers at their core.

before i get into it: i think pandora treats him like a human being. but despite how nice it is, deep down i dont think barty LIKES being treated as a person (💀). he's just so unused to it.

barty will always pick the way that evan treats him, as some type of sick other half, where he doesn't NEED to be a person because he can just be evan's missing puzzle-piece instead. barty wants the comfort of being able to define himself in relation to something else.

BUT ANYWAY.

i think pandora is more comfortable sitting with the irrational than her brother. to me the quibbler is evidence of this, but so are her experiments (P wants to create something new, E wants to take apart/optimize what already exists). so that's why i believe she's one of the few people in the world who's close to barty WITHOUT wanting to peel back his layers.

the fandom likes to make her a necromancer, and i think this ties nicely into my conception of her character as someone Deeply Steeped In Grey Areas And Uncertainties. she's concerned with the murky boundaries between life/death, between her identity/her brother's, between the real world/dreams. barty is a living grey area & the way he goes all blank when he's not putting up a front doesn't alarm her (yet she doesn't obsess over & crave & sink into his moments of vulnerability the way Evan might)

esentially: pandora is RARELY distinguishable from evan, but their small differences are highlighted specifically whenever she's around barty. by both accepting & ignoring the central Ambiguity of barty's personhood, she is basically the only person alive who can be normal about him.

i think they have little crushes on each other that come & go because of that relationship!! they feel like childhood friends. they have a weird ability to make each other feel like a regular boy and girl: he's a little sheepish around her, she giggles when he ties her shoelaces, he's putting her on the handlebars of his bicycle... there's a lightness to that relationship that doesn't exist anywhere else in their lives.

i generally believe that everyone in their friend group inevitably develops a crush on barty, and pandora isn't an exception— for her it's the dorky crush you get on your brother's best friend. he's tall & handsome & funny & charming & kind to her in a way he isn't kind to anyone else. for barty, i think there's something about the rosiers (the idea of these angelic, odd, fucked up little sheltered creatures) that just instantly does it for him no matter what. at least 40% of what he feels for evan extends to his sister, just in a more innocent way

but it's not REAL, if that makes sense? because barty is ugly and violent and complicated, and so is pandora!! neither of them are actually the boy/girl next door, even if that's what they are to each other ? and they both implicitly know that, so the crushes inevitably fade? but i think it's really beautiful that they even CAN be that for each other? which is why the crush is always there, simmering under the surface a little?

i think there's a gendered aspect to this as well. maybe this is sexist but i see barty as being a gentler version of himself around girls in general (i’m thinking of: his closeness w/ his mother, his closeness w/ winky & her insistence that he’s a sweet boy)... i think he’s one of those dudes with terminal daddy issues who grew up watching his father mistreat his mother and it really affects how he treats women. he’s more comfortable with girls and he gets a little softer around them... pandora has always gotten this softer version of him

#a #barty meta tag #rosier twins #pandora #ok i got a little carried away . #this is a whole essay ...... apparently it really is that serious to me

[ham1lton]

hello! this isn't a request for a drabble but i just wanted to just rant about how fucking devastating brocedes is. like how can your life be so intrinsically intertwined with someone and suddenly never intersect again. and i find it so humbling? idk the word but someone like lewis crumbling at the prospect of ever talking to nico? they're always so so close at being in each other's lives but somehow its like its meant to be that they go on separate ways. i am a nico rosberg defender, so good on him not letting be played as second fiddle. but god, at what cost though! ANYWAY william shakespeare WISHES he wrote this shit.

i literally was about to log out of my tumblr when i saw this ask and i’m SO glad i saw it before i logged out. brocedes is genuinely insane to me. when crofty said ‘this man knows lewis hamilton friend, teammate, childhood buddy, rival, everything bar lover’ i literally frothed at the mouth!!!! my god!!!! brocedes have known each other longer than they haven’t and their relationship has been through so many changes.

i’m still relatively new to the whole brocedes lore and everything new i learn i go insane. the edits on tiktok need to stop!!! i’ve started spamming my friends with them and they’re all in the know about lewis’ childhood relationship with nico. literally was explaining it to my bestie over ft and she was like omg. this sounds like a movie.

it’s crazy!!!!!! i’ve been sitting here alone going crazy like that one episode of spongebob where he’s alone indoors.

like COME ON!!!!! this whole situation is some cinematic movie shit. as you said, shakespeare wishes. one day they’ll make a movie about this and i hope they get a brocedes lore expert to truly understand the vibes because this is something so personal to me……

#i fear i am a lewis apologist. he took me in the divorce but i do love nico. #anon ask #brocedes

[alvojake]

╰┈➤ ❝ 𝒘𝒊𝒑𝒔 ❞

↳ 「updated」 : 05.23.2024

𝑫𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝑾𝒊𝒔𝒉, 𝑫𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝑲𝒊𝒔𝒔 | 𝑺.𝑱𝒀

「paring」 : jake x fem!reader 「word count」 : ?? (current : 4.9k) 「synopsis」 : you grew up in a small town seen as an outcast. jake grew up as a vampire prince. both grew up in very different settings, but you both had similar feelings of loneliness. so it was almost fate when you found jake one night in the woods after escaping your family, something about the other drew you both in. however, as the dark truth gets revealed and things go downhill you're left wondering who you can trust. 「genre」 : vampire!au, royalty!au, vampire prince!jake, human!reader, horror/thriller, angst, smut, forbidden(ish) romance, blonde jake, fluff, crack(ish) 「warning」 : blood, cursing, murder/killing, possessive jake, make-out sessions, unprotected sex, biting/marking, usage of weed and alcohol, mentions of toxic family/friends, abuse (mental & physical), bullying, (will add more tags as I write) 「release date」 : TBD

𝑰 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒀𝒐𝒖, 𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝑨𝒓𝒆𝒏'𝒕 𝑴𝒊𝒏𝒆 | 𝑷.𝑺𝑯

「pairing」 : sunghoon x fem!reader 「word count」 : ?? (current : 5.3k) 「synopsis」 : after finally realizing your feelings for sunghoon, you're left wondering if it was the right thing, but your friend is quick to tell you that you should put your relationship to a stop before things get out of hand. you reluctantly agreed and tried to end things with the married man, but as fate would have it there was something that would pull the two of you together again, but can you handle the repercussions of your actions if word got out? 「genre」 : ceo!sunghoon, infidelity, smut, angst, forbidden romance, fluff 「warning」 : infidelity/cheating, make-out sessions, unprotected sex, petnames (princess...), cursing, mentions of toxic relationships, arguments, mentions of arranged marriage, (will add more as I write) 「release date」 : TBD

𝑭𝒍𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑯𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔 | 𝒀.𝑱𝑾

「paring」 : jungwon x fem!reader 「word count」 : ?? (current : 0) 「synopsis」 : the universe always seems to have ways to fuck with people, but you could say you had it the worst. just when your life seems to be going in the right direction, everything flips when you are killed in a hit-and-run. you're left there nearly hanging on to your life while jungwon, your boyfriend, begs you to stay with him. then everything goes black, and it's the end... or so you thought. 「genre」 : heavy angst, ghost!reader, fluff (but mostly angst) 「warnings」 : mentions of death, abuse, dark themes, cussing, kissing, mentions of depression, substance abuse, family issues, (will add more as I write) 「release date」 : TBD

𝑾𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝑷𝒍𝒂𝒚 𝑨 𝑮𝒂𝒎𝒆? | 𝑲.𝑺𝑵

「paring」 : sunoo x fem!reader 「word count」 : ?? (current : 0) 「synopsis」 : with the talk of a killer in town, your family wanted you closer to them, so you're left with no choice but to move back to your hometown. you dreaded being back home, the unwanted childhood memories always resurfacing; however, meeting the neighborhood dog walker, you start to think, 'how bad could it actually be?' until you're faced with the very killer your parents and townsfolk warned you of, and what's worse? he's absolutely obsessed with you. 「genre」 : smut, horror/thriller, smidge of fluff, ghostface!sunoo, dark romance, ghostface!au, angst 「warnings」 : cussing, blood, murder, sunoo is psychotic & obsessed with the reader, unprotected sex, mentions of a traumatic childhood, toxic relationship(s), (will add more as I write) 「release date」 : TBD

@alvojake | Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or repost any of my work

𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗 : ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʀᴇᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʀᴇʟʏ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ.

#... 𝔀𝓲𝓹𝓼 ◌ೄ #♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ :𝓴𝓪𝔂 𝔀𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓼: :;

[hopelesslygaysstuff]

Sometime seeing your burn scars for the first time like:

“Holy shit, who did that to you?”

You look down at the scattered circles that scar your legs. You didn’t think about how far your shorts would ride up when you sat down.

“Oh, my mommy,” you say without thinking.

“Your mom did that to you?! Holy shit are you okay?”

You suddenly remember how un-normal your life is. Not only is calling your girlfriend mommy taboo but her hurting you enough to leave permanent marks is going to get someone called on you.

“Uhhh, yeah. Didn’t I tell you I had a fucked up childhood?” You’re very glad the newer marks aren’t on display.

“I thought you meant like, neglect. Not like that.”

You shrug and wish your mommy was here so you didn’t have to think so hard. She makes everything so much easier.

OOOP not them being concerned and you're just like oh uh this is normal and I actually really enjoy it...

Wanna preface this by saying that if someone is routinely hurting you that is an abusive relationship and not an environment we should romanticize and that you should definitely seek help and resources to make sure you are safe!!!

Here is the link to the National Domestic Abuse Hotline.

For the sake of this ask though, and realizing that this is PURELY fictional...

Wanda just claiming you over and over again, telling you that this is what all Mommy's do when they love their pets, she has to mark you up so everyone knows who you belong to!! You're so used to calling her Mommy that you forget to be discreet sometimes around your friends, so everyone just thinks that you have really deep mommy issues...

Her turning the pain of the cigarette burns into pleasure after you squirm away one time, forcing you to cum on a vibrator over and over again until she trains you to moan when she puts the cig out on you, sick pleasure coursing through you at the telltale hiss and sting of the burnt end on your skin.

Ugh and wishing your Mommy was there is so real... you don't wanna think!! She does all the thinking for you at home, so it's hard to turn your brain back on when she's not around... she just makes your life so much easier by controlling every aspect of it!

#charsgaythoughts #wanda maximoff #mommy wanda #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #wanda #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda maximoff fanfiction #wanda fanfic #wanda maximoff smut #wanda x you #wanda x y/n #dom!wanda #top!wanda #marvel #mcu #wanda marvel #wanda mcu #wanda maximommy #wlw #wlw smut #lesbian #writing #bottom reader #x reader

[glitterdustcyclops]

y'know the thing that really grinds my gears about the useless white liberals who are all "but i have to play Protocols of the Elder Wands of Zion because it was my childhoood and it was important to meeeee" is that guess what? i also read harry potter as a kid

it was one of the most important books of my childhood, i literally learned my love of reading by reading harry potter. i figured out i was queer by reading hp fanfiction, i poured hours of my heart and soul and brain into thinking about and dreaming about these fucking books. starting with the order of the phoenix my parents wrote a special dedication to me each time a new book released right on the first page, because they knew how important this series was to me

so please, cis people, imagine for a fucking second how it feels to be a trans nonbinary person in this absolute hellscape of a year, living in a state where i'm like 75% they're going to make my very existence literally illegal any day now and also know, bone-deep and true, that the author of one of the foundational texts of my childhood, the architect of my imagination, a woman i once respected and admired, who literally made me want to be an author, fucking hates my guts and doesn't think i deserve to exist.

i'm so fucking sorry but your right to play Soros Expelliarmus: The Game and not feel guilty about giving money to a woman who will 100% use that money to make sure i have less rights than i already do now does not even remotely fucking holding a candle to that

this series has been absolutely destroyed for me, and every time i have to hear about her stupid bigoted face i'm reminded over and over and over again that my rights, my fundamental humanity, don't mean a goddamn thing to her or to you. whatever flimsy excuses you've come up with it to justify it doesn't matter. that's the message you're sending, to every trans person and jew in your life.

so fine, spend your money however you want, i literally can't stop you.

but then you have the nerve, the absolute unmitigated gall, to want us to celebrate you for it?

absolutely FUCK that noise. if you get to give the bigot lady more money so you can experience Jew Hunters of Azkaban then i get to remind you that you are a spineless moral coward for doing it. them's the rules. don't like it? i dunno maybe don't fucking play the game.

seems pretty simple to me.

(obviously shoutout to this poll for the names i used for the game)

#everyone who tries to come at me with this oh but what about the developers nonense #or the ohh but i donated to charity #or whatever liberal white guilt pretzel youve twisted yourself into to try and justify this #should be forced to individually go up to every single trans person and explain to us why you think our rights dont matter #shut up chocolate #harry potter #hogwarts legacy #transphobia #your childhood? what about my fucking LIFE

[ghost-proofbaby]

a man said the most eddie-coded thing about me that i genuinely cannot stop thinking about it days later but he doesn’t know that i know he said what he did

#my friend said i’ve got a special flavor of trauma from my childhood #and he immediately goes ‘i wanna know what it tastes like 😏’ #i’m haunted #he met me twice and just alluded to eating my [redacted] #and i’d let him ! #this is why i’ve been mia #him: don’t judge #the girls in question; not judging but losing their fucking minds #such casual rizz someone fucking sedate me #i also have a story time about how he paid for my (well mine and my best friends) dinner and it gave me BUTTERFLIES #anyways boys #be careful with what you tell her best friend #she’s loyal to me first 😤 #i don’t think y’all wanna hear about my love life but this is the most exciting it’s been in a while #eddie munson would 100% joke about ‘tasting your trauma’ idc

[zaritarazi]

hanne (trying to recall a fun childhood story): did you tell them about the zipline

matthias: i did tell them about the zipline

jesper: he told us about the zipline

hanne: then why do you all look so upset

wylan: sorry, to clarify, are you referencing the zipline designed to kill children?

hanne and matthias at the same time, still not sure why people don't think that the zipline story is funny: yes

nina, walking back into the room after getting a glass of water: why does everyone suddenly look so concerned did matthias bring up his childhood summer camp's illegal fucking zipline again

#this is how i feel hanne and matthias are in any modern au #matthias is like remember when we got left after school for 3 hours and had to walk home and hanne is like haha yeah #and everyone is like i'm sorry fucking WHAT #and matthias is like yeah! we saw some rare birds on the walk home #hanne i think is more aware how deeply fucked this all is but is also like. well what can i do about it now #i'm not gonna call my parents that's for damn sure #kaz like also matthias and hanne stop telling fucked up stories about your childhood. they actually do make me laugh #but only because it's funny to imagine child matthias suffering #if only child me while suffering had known child matthias was suffering at the same time. that would've been my sole joy in life #matthias: that's... really beautiful #kaz: i will kill us both #soc headcanon #grishaverse headcanon #matthias helvar #hanne brum #something about the machine designed to kill children to me was like. matthias has done this and didn't realize he shouldn't have

[lobotomizedlady]

I think bpd is a bullshit stigmatizing label thrown at women to pathologize what is very obviously a response to prolonged childhood trauma and would be better labeled as C-PTSD. that being said my god I am bpd as fuck

#my sister just snapped at me bc i said i dont want to do a ton of physical labor for the job she signed me up for which apparently does i #in fact involve a lot of it. and her being mad for even that moment sent me spiraling so badly & i had the reaction i often do where #i start hating both her & myself terribly & want to isolate forever #i think she hates her new job & is taking it out on me but it doesnt matter bc i cant handle being yelled at #and the fact thst it took me till adulthood to realize thats bc i associate it with my father is crazy. yeah its just the cptsd like #everything else. and whats nutso is how i continue to think my trauma Wasnt Bad Enough for ptsd . #just bc he didnt beat the shit out of or molest me i feel like i dont even have a right to be this fucked up #not that it was only him. being bullied at school really did not help. i guess now that i think about it the problem is that until #i was a teenager i literally did not feel emotionally secure anywhere. home or school. always the ticking of a bomb in the bg #the inevitable moment my dad blew up over nothing or i overheard my peers talking about what a freak i was #i dont know why it still hurts to think about. im so far removed from it my life now couldnt be more different #well thats the stupid fucking thing about childhood isnt it. those are your very first experiences with the world & other ppl #i do know my view of romantic relationships was irrevocably poisoned by my parents & that is never going to be undone. so cool

[mossflower]

ough. vrisrezi. if you even care

#got up to [s] terezi: remem8er in my reread. had to take a break #ik i said homestuck is at it’s best in act 5 act 2 and i stand by that in terms of like. plot #but emotionally?? this part of the comic - the flash and the few pages preceding it - wins hands down #it’s about the childhood friends and the cycle of violence and living up to a legacy #it’s about someone has to leave first. this is a very old story. there is no other version of this story #except there *is* another version of this story!! one where you don’t kill her!! but she still leaves!! #and you vow to spend the rest of your life searching for her!! is this thing on!! #and part of what makes the flash hit so hard is that the versions of terezi and vriska that find each other are from doomed timelines!! #it’s the terezi that killed vriska and regretted it ever since #and the vriska that got killed. and as a ghost she grew as a person and let herself be soft and vulnerable with someone #only to get utterly verbally eviscerated by the ‘real’ vriska for letting herself do that. letting herself be happy #something something. the terezi and vriska that find each other and get to be happy with each other are doomed #and their seperation is a necessary part of the ‘real’ timeline. i can’t FUCKING do this anymore #homestuck #vrisrezi

[coquelicoq]

yeah natori is 23 and since matoba is one year younger, he's 22 at the very start of the manga/anime :))) i think it was like around season 3 of natsume when i learned this and went ????????????? and had to go lie down for a while

unacceptable. midorikawa-sensei answer for your crimes. the thing that's killing me currently is i know i learned this information back when i read a bunch of fic after watching the show for the first time - which was less than a year ago - but apparently REPRESSED IT because it was sooo does not compute. and then had to learn it all over again just recently. my poor brain tried so hard to protect me from this knowledge but alas.

FREE THEM they're baby adults they should not have this kind of weight on their shoulders and have like. employees and shit!!! "oh look a dumbass teenager with a heart of gold. how about i protect him with my life" HOW ABOUT YOU WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF YOU MAN-SIZED CATERPILLAR!!! they need to be in their cocoon era not in their head-of-the-family life-and-death-decision-making era. when you're 22 you're legally obligated to make questionable life choices and it seems self-evident you should not have to be forming lifelong contracts with supernatural beings until after you've gotten some of that out of your system but WHAT DO I KNOW, i'm just a thirtysomething with over a decade on natori who still does the modern-day equivalent of unplugging my answering machine so people can't leave me cursed voicemails. i look back on my 23yo self and i want to cry from how much she was learning and how hard she was trying. i love her so much it breaks my heart. stop putting these young men into situations they need to be in situations but maybe ones less fraught with mortal consequences. maybe some situations more along the lines of figuring out the hard way not to buy dryclean-only shirts because who has time to go to the drycleaners? that's just one idea, i've got more of these. midorikawa-sensei are you listening??

#i just rewatched the arc where natori and natsume free takuma-san's shiki #and lost it at the part where natori is like takuma-san what am i gonna do with this kid? he's giving me daily heart attacks #and takuma just starts laughing like ahhh now it's your turn #now you know what it's like mr. former teenager not listening to your elders!!!! #natsume's book of friends #natsume yuujinchou #asks #not anon #natori shuuichi #f #matoba seiji #horrible exorcists #my mom was 22 when she had me and whenever i think about that i'm just like TWENTY-TWO? TWENTY-TWO??? #TWENTY-TWO YEARS OLD? TWENTY-TWO??????? #this actually helped me a lot in coming to terms with my childhood. like she was doing her best she was just #twenty fucking two #like my mom was in a sense making head-of-the-family life-and-death decisions #and making a lifelong contract (to be the parent of a person she was creating) at age 22 #and just to be clear i also want to go lie down when i think about that #that is a real thing that happened and i'm not saying she was too young to have the right to make that kind of major decision #i'm just saying it makes me want to drag my fingernails down my face in agony #much like learning natori shuuichi is supposed to be 23. like nooooooo

[hannibalismos-jaaneman]

so i never said this to anyone and bottling this up is exhausting so i'm just gonna vomit it here. PLEASE SENSITIZE CHILDREN TO ART.

#raj shitposting #so on new year's eve my apartment complex decided to have like a little carnival and people were invited to set up stalls for their stuff #so my mother is a mix media artist and i FORCED her to set up a stall which i kinda sorta regret now because of this thing that happened #so we were setting up our stall and a little boy comes up and wants to purchase something from the jewelry section and when we #tell him the price of the piece he calls my MOTHER'S ART A SCAM. A SEVEN YEAR OLD BOY WHO DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO SPELL PHOTOSYNTHESIS!!! #WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT A SCAM ACTUALLY IS. CALLS MY MOTHER'S ENTIRE ART A SCAM. #i wanted to smack him so hard across the face but my mother held me back and told me to calm down and asked him to get lost. #but the entire day our mood was rotten about this #PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD TELL YOUR CHILDREN THAT IT'S NOT OKAY TO INSULT SOMEONE'S WORK LIKE THAT!!!!!!! #YOU IMBECILE IT'S EXPENSIVE BECAUSE IT REQUIRES SKILL AND MATERIAL THAT IS DIFFICULT TO PROCURE AND KNOWLEDGE THAT IN ITSELF IS HELLA- #-EXPENSIVE TO GATHER!!!!! #ART IS INVALUABLE GUYS WHY DO YOU THINK OUR PARENTS PRESERVE THOSE STUPID ASS CRAYON LANDSCAPES FROM OUR CHILDHOOD????? #he might be a child and not know what any of this means but he could just back off... this is NOT curiosity it's mean spiritedness #and FUCKING RUDE #i was a child sometime in my life. i never talked shit like that to a 40 YEAR OLD AND TALKED BACK WHEN THEY ASKED ME TO BACK OFF #smh #anti intellectualism #art

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

the desire to do comms vs my inability to remember that i got a message FIGHT-

#its like 'oh a message! i will respond later' #and then later never comes cause i have no damn object permanence Or working memory #then its like... what do i even say #'hi sorry i ghosted your simple question for two days i forgot you messaged me' AGH #or especially lately #i mean to do things and then i get a New piece of distressing information about the way my life is going #which then consumes my thoughts and leaves no room for anything else #ahaha thanks! ill claw my eyes out now!! wow!!! FUCK! #trying to keep up the things i enjoy is. so tough rn #but ill flounder w/o em so! hard work that i am mostly failing at but i Keep Trying #yes i wanna do comms. yes i wanna draw. yes i wanna talk to people. can i? mmmmm...... #can't wait for this chapter in my life to be over. goddamn. #ive been in a perpetual state of intense stress since early childhood #but my fucking duck things lately have been taking the cake #absolutely unprompted #oh no this is turning into a vent post Look Away #well my mother called again last night and was all 'im getting you a car' #and uh. i started physically shaking while profusely thanking her (lying through me teeth) #GIRL!!! I DONT NEED A CAR THATS TOO MUCH RN!!! #she's always mentioning how the collective We are tight on money #and that rn i need to focus on making decisions and getting a job ill hold for like. a month #and then she slams this down outta left field??? thats so much extra stress i dont need right now??? #now i gotta worry about parking and maintaining it and gas money i dont have And And And- #i cant exactly tell her Dont Fucking Do That bc then she'll blow up in my face and call me inconsiderate & ungrateful again #me and my stepdad dont have the fucking TIME to get one! and then she was like 'oh i can always come down to help' #please dont. do not do that. i cant deal with you in person right now that sounds hellish #anyway. case in point #cant even think about messages and stuff i Want to think about bc all this bullshit is taking up my entire mind #metaphorically slamming my face into a brick wall till theres nothing left. aaaghhahsbkjadadj #its too much its Too Much everything is so much and its too much and can i be let be for two fuckin seconds please

[anaalnathrakhs]

btw my mom said it. she said it to me looking me in the eyes. i told her about how difficult it was for me to get through those family reunions, and she admitted it was very important to her, important enough that she was just going to do it anyway.

#i know there are compromises out there #and i'm not going to live w them my whole life so i'll be out fairly soon all things considered #and i'm trying to be understanding when people's priorities aren't the same as mine #but i uh. would be lying if i said it doesn't hurt a little wittle bit. #i'm gonna keep handling it because i've been an asshole to my parents for long enough #i largely owe them that. cooperating and spending time with them and engaging in what matters to them. #but then she's says things like ''but whenever you move out you'll still be part of the family and invited if you want uwu'' #it's just ?????? okay thanks ???? perhaps you could also try seeing things from my point of view perhaps???? #it's all circling back to that. they have a very weird way to ''help'' me #throwback to them trying to cure my depression with amusement parks #when i would have liked a little less of that and a little more help and understanding #it feels like they're trying to put bandaids on a cancer #''you don't ask for help'' okay no help is coming. i am not being helped. #the system can't help me cause there's no damn beds no damn professionals no damn time to help everyone #the people around me can't help me because it's not their job or within their wheelhouse to help me #and they've got their own shit to deal with #on that note #i was discussing stuff with my mom #and i mentionned it was indeed pretty difficult to manage your time when you had to deal with school and friends and your parents #and she was like ''deal with your parents???? what do you have to deal with????'' #oh i don't KNOW maybe that i'm officially an associate of my dad and i have to help out w events and some accounting #or maybe i have to pay back the fucking years i spent being an ungrateful child now i do everything you expect me to and it's exhausting #maybe that you constantly remind me i am living in YOUR house by touching my shit instead of letting me deal with shit at my own pace #maybe the fact that despite everything i care about you and i want us to have a good relationship and that takes WORK and i'm exhausted #maybe the fact that you keep giving me advice that is unproductive misguided misunderstanding etc etc #and cold comfort after you did something you knew to be difficult for me #how you keep encouraging shit that i don't want and am unhappy with because it's the ''normal'' way #how you raised me from childhood to be an empty shell in a family of empty shells #broadcasting my misery #vent

[enrapture]

stay alive.

#the happiest people can be going through shit #the saddest people #the meanest of people #all walks of life you could never know what they’re dealing with #life is so hard so fucking difficult #I didn’t think I would be here #so many years before this one I didn’t think I would be alive at all #honestly? I didn’t think I’d live to see today a few days ago even just the other day I felt it #it’s really hard to stay tonight even with a good thing like meeting my favorite band right now on the 31st #internally I won’t share these feelings and thoughts allowed y’all don’t care about that or even wanna hear what I feel and what I think #but yeah #I just wanna share this because I’m struggling with it sand sometimes it’s a good and bad thing to keep finding reasons to stay #but you should stay because you want to be here to experience life with others and to help others #that life wouldn’t be life without you and you would want to see your near future self happy among your childhood past near past selves #evolve and be happy you’re staying and relive your childhood and grow as a person #you’re meant to be here if no one else tells you that #means a lot being heard and understood #staying is just a. little difficult rn #I never thought I’d make it this far and I don’t like the act of growing and I don’t like how life is a lot of the time #but that’s a story for another time if desired and shared #I’m gonna hop off now #bye #internally I won’t share these thoughts #these feelings aloud because y’all don’t care y’all don’t wanna hear about the dark parts that stay and stick in my head or pass through #but I just wanted to share it for those that needed a sign to stay #to stay because I too am one of those that could use it #spread love #be there for those that struggle #life is so fucking hard #take it one day at a time