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HAPPY PRIDE!!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

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Gillian Flynn, Sharp Objects

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#writers on tumblr #filipino writers on tumblr #literature #poetry #love #quotes #love poem #girls who like girls #thoughts #poem #heart been broke so many times #brokeback mountain #you broke my heart #brokerage #love quotes #relationship #feeling #lgbtqia #lesbian #lesbian pride #lesbian flag #wlw #sapphic #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #spilled poetry #spilled words #poets on tumblr #prose #red flags

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Jane O. Wayne // Kate Jacobs

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#writers on tumblr #filipino writers on tumblr #literature #poetry #love #prose #thoughts #filipino literature #filipino poetry #philippine literature #ink #wlw #wlw community #wlw poetry #lgbtq #wlw pride #queer pride #lesbian

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It was on the edges of a sword

where we danced without music

high on nicotine and low on gas

in this mundane, lifeless world

the inferno inside our eyes connects

and we both savor the flames it speaks

I surrender myself to you

and we come across metamorphosis

I kneel before you yet I abhor your yesterday

I declared affection yet I do not understand your metaphors

I served my soul raw below your mouth yet I do not feel secured

it was your shadow whom I can’t love

your twin that lurks between us

the stories you told me pierced my heart

and I do not love you enough

to embrace the remnants of your past

you made me feel beyond what a dead mortal must feel

you exist within the gaps of my loneliness

and our bones become one

all the exchanges of fingers and tongue

including the burns, we buried on our skin

the inclination during rainy days

our whispers on closet

and how I bleed out my innocence

all of those are great

yet all that we did is not what love is

I was in complete awe of how lovely you can be

but I view behind with disdain

I don’t love you

for I desire you to worship me

for I desire you to murder a memory

I don’t love you

for I fear you will crawl back toward the time

and leave me after your gain

I know you do not love me too

I am only a convenience

your wine on depressing days

and you’re as guilty as I am

but I do not love you enough

to imprison myself on you

//to the one I didn't love

#writers on tumblr #filipino writers on tumblr #literature #poetry #prose #love #thoughts #filipino literature #filipino poetry #philippine literature

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lullabies for the woeful, and the words that seem to follow

Sometimes I wonder about dying.

I am not a particularly sad person. I have people who love me. I have people who will be willing to give half their all just to pour into my dripping glass. In simple terms, I am not alone. But sometimes, I am lonely, and being lonely makes you wonder about things you would never think about on the regular. Like dying. 

I’m not exactly afraid to die. Every organism dies at one point. It’s an undisputable fact that governs the living. To me, dying is a certain type of peace. Religion divides the world with the concept of an afterlife. But for the physical, carbon-based structure of a man, lying 6-feet down deep without any worry of the world is peace. Still, I do not long for it, at least not yet. 

Someone asked me before what I feared most, if not death. I didn’t have a direct answer. For most of my life, everything that triggered my adrenaline, I got through. Should I still consider that a fear? I didn’t think so. Is fear of God counted? That’s debatable. However, as more people asked, I began to worry for an answer. What did I fear most? It wasn’t anything too shocking, I found out. I feared being lonely. I thought it was autophobia—the fear of being alone—but for most of my life, I never was. Yet I still feared. I discovered I could get lonely, easily, despite company. Even God forgives, loneliness does not. The thought made me anxious. 

Having fear gives you two options: you fight it head on, or you get away. In this case though, the former is the sole answer. And after fighting each outburst head on, you learn to hit back. You learn how to maneuver each swing, how to analyze the fear and set aside your emotion. Fear then materializes into an existing, rational enemy—and you learn to win. But every win comes at a cost. Each time you encounter your fear, it takes something from you. Every drip of happiness you kept in a bottle spills. You win the battle, but the longer it gets to overcome the multiple bouts in the ring, your fists become exhausted, until your limbs eventually also leave you with no other option to take. Then I wonder if life would likewise follow. 

I guess I’m an asshole. The glee I collect from the people around me, it keeps me afloat. I think it’s safe to say I used them. Sometimes loving and taking advantage blurs in the periphery, and I can only try and be less of the asshole I already am. 

Loneliness finds a way, even with people around. They might not say, or they might not notice, but when fear consumes, I take more than what they give, until they can’t give me any more before theirs turn empty, then I leave and take from another. Until when can they pour so that my glass never empties? I get anxious and vexed. But what can I do? I still want to survive. So I apologize, for being selfish. Don’t worry, though. Sometimes I’d rather not take, or bother, or hurt. Then I would wonder about tipping over, spilling everything that’s left. I wonder what it will be like to let go.

This fear— it trips my mind. Sometimes I look for people to mask the lonely. Sometimes, despite people, it couldn’t help but show. Still, I want to believe that I’ll survive. I only wonder, I never want. People have been rather too kind and I’m grateful. I answer by fighting back. Until then, I ask, for at least one to keep my glass filled. I can’t afford to go empty.

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one thing about orpheus and eurydice is you guys are all like “i’m different i wouldnt turn to look at her” because you are all familiar with the story of orpheus and eurydice. but orpheus wasnt familiar with the story because he was in it lol.

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One year and four months passed yet everything feels like yesterday. Until now, I still feel accountable for your death. If only I could turn back time, I shouldn't have said those words. I don't miss you but I am guilty. I hate myself and I'm longing for the happy times. I guess healing will never happen to me.

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“Great writers are indecent people

they live unfairly

saving the best part for paper.

good human beings save the world

so that bastards like me can keep creating art,

become immortal.

if you read this after I am dead

it means I made it.”

– Charles Bukowski

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To all the people out there looking for true love. There is no such thing as true love. Just look for love because love is true in itself.

Saying true love is like saying sweet honey: You don't add anything to the honey by saying it sweet because the essence of honey is sweetness. So is the case with love, you can't increase it's value by saying it true.

Remember,

"Agar sachchi hai tabhi toh mohabbat hai, warna fareb"

-Bharat Chauhan

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i managed to survive that day

#ocean #calm your mind #healing #self love spell #self healing

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I am longing for my innocence

the kind and gentle skin

the sweetness of my lips

and the soft sentences from my mouth

time goes by too fast

I did not even notice

that I leave scars on an open space

I did not even notice

that affection left me with curiosity

the how’s and the why’s

conundrum that keeps me awake at night

will I ever withstand as a lover?

my heart, my soul, my body, all that I am

including those unforeseen

I serve it naked, raw, in heat and free

but after all of this

did you ever love me?

I am yearning for an honesty

great truths from a soul I do not recognize

did you ever lie?

the thought of you leaving

grow fear within me

I don’t desire you to say goodbye

but then

if you look at me with disdain

a heavy metal whose melting on the snow

let go, let go of me

don’t let blood stain your name

leave me, leave me at once

for I, as a lover, wholeheartedly

burn myself away from you

but if you can feel me beyond inclination

if you see me the way I see you

without being naked, without having to apologize

without running needles on our veins

if you dive and march into water

and will find peace with me

then keep me close to you

and I will keep you closer to me

our connection, the us, the shared insanity, the versions of ourselves

did not fall and vanish

it collides towards my chaos

and its tough comforting our past

like an inferno, but in two

but after all of this

did you ever love me?

will I still keep on loving you?

//excerpts from the risk that hurt the most: love and its aftermath

#writers on tumblr #filipino writers on tumblr #literature #poetry #love #prose #thoughts #filipino literature #filipino poetry #philippine literature

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I desire love before I go to walk across the shore on Friday nights to feel the warmth and comfort of touch to press kisses on skin, to laugh, to cry and be free a love that I’ll keep as I perform my last goodbye a love that I’ll remember as I erase memories

but then, who would ever want to withstand my chaos?

I am a mutilated being I died a long time ago but then I resurrect and become many among one’s I didn’t beg for justice nor seek for the truth I stab my back, leave and celebrate my resurrection as if I did not pledge not guilty for murder as if I did not kneel and asked for an eternal rest

why did they let me live to become versions I abhor?

I desire love before my trial but then, who among us is the one who yearn for love? I versus we, we versus I the poet, the hopeless, the innocent, the daring, the lover, the killer and evil the I in us, the us in I, before I go, before we go, will we ever, will I ever come across to a love that will surpass fear, life and death? a love that will embrace all that I am, all that we are, all visions of me, all my differences the split second of uniqueness, the borders of my soul and the changes that is constant the inconsistency of my strength and the weakness that is tied on my tongue I long for that love, the love that can console my own inferno

but who among us who yearn for love?

all versions of me are suffocated everything feels like a lie

but after all these sentences the killer and evil will choose to reject love and I will be left standing in damnation

who would ever want to love someone who can’t even recognize thy self?

I shouldn’t have resurrected

will love ever find me in afterlife?

Maybe I am truly meant to go.

I am deeply curious how does it feel to be love, that great, pure and kind love. Will I ever come across to one before detaching myself in this world?

//the last desire of unknown

#writers on tumblr #filipino writers on tumblr #literature #poetry #love #prose #thoughts #filipino literature #filipino poetry #philippine literature #spilled emotions #spilled words #heart been broke so many times