incorrectbatfamandpals

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game changer is a sisyphean purgatory overseen by a moustache-twirling fae creature, cackling at your despair for 40 minutes and then if u win u get a cool watch

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Steph: Last night, I tried to explain the concept of she/they to Damian without giving myself away.

Duke: Oh? How did it go?

Steph: He respects it, but doesn't understand why people who use it wouldn't just use they/them pronouns.

Duke: It is difficult to explain beyond I don't know dude, that's my gender.

Steph: Yeah, that's what I ended up saying: "gender be fucky".

#batfam #batman #stephanie brown #duke thomas #damian wayne #damian wayne-al ghul #non binary duke thomas #non-binary duke thomas #non-binary stephanie brown #non binary stephanie brown #trans bats #enby bats #spoiler #batgirl #robin #signal

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Babs: What are some promposal type things you could do that also incorporate crime?

Cass: Arson.

Jason: Steal a bus.

Tim: Tresspassing with a stolen bus to commit arson.

Babs: ...okay, thank you, I'm no longer taking suggestions.

#batfam #batman #babs gordon #barbara gordon #cassandra cain #tim drake #jason todd #robin #red robin #red hood #black bat #batgirl #orphan #oracle #i have no memory of the context of this

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Bart: Anyway, goodnight y'all, man's got to be up early. By the way, I use man as a term for everyone, I'm not misgendering myself.

Tim: Man is gender-neutral except when you decide otherwise.

Gar: Like the way Shaggy from Scooby Doo says it.

Bart: Exactly!

Tim: Shaggy is an entire gender in himself.

#batfam #batman #tim drake #bart allen #garfield logan #gar logan #teen titans #robin #red robin #impulse #kid flash #beast boy #changelling #queer bart allen #enby bart allen #queer tim drake #queer garfield logan #everyones queer because i said so #shaggy rogers #scooby doo

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Tim: Help, I'm watching a Game Theory video on Merge Mansion.

Babs: You too, huh?

#batfam #batman #tim drake #barbara gordon #babs gordon #robin #red robin #oracle #game theory #merge mansion #you cannot convince me that tim and babs dont watch matpat

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Dick: Okay, I will click Play.

Tim: Okay.

Dick: And has the screen changed for everyone?

Tim: Yes.

Dick: Good.

Tim: You sound like the tired instructor at a summer camp.

Dick: I apologise for that, it's just my personality.

#batfam #batman #tim drake #dick grayson #robin #red robin #nightwing #timdick #dicktim

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Tim: Why did my brain, out of the blue, just say "Anthrax Cinematic Universe"?

Jason: I think that's just bioterrorism.

#batfam #batman #tim drake #jason todd #robin #red robin #red hood #jaytim #anthrax #tw anthrax

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Duke: There's this program on about a really fancy hotel and they're showcasing their luxury technology and one thing can project scenes onto the tables and-

Jason: Bro, you can get those in Maccies. Maccies did it first.

#batfam #batman #duke thomas #jason todd #robin #red hood #signal

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Steph: I was a feral child.

Dick: So was I.

Steph: I used to bite everything. We still have a table with bite marks in it. From my stupid teeth. I didn't stop until I was 10.

Dick: You have seen the bite marks in my bedside locker.

Steph: Yeah, but mine was because I liked the texture. The texture of a wooden fucking table.

Dick: Okay, go build your dam, little beaver.

#batfam #batman #stephanie brown #dick grayson #robin #nightwing #spoiler #batgirl #autistic bats #autistic batfam #nd bats #nd batfam #neurodivergent batfam #neurodivergent stephanie brown #neurodivergent dick grayson

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Tim: I'm watching an interview with a naval architect and he just said "we wanted to design a ship that would knock everything else out of the water" and that phrasing knocked me over.

Jason: Oh no! The ship got you!

#batfam #batman #tim drake #jason todd #robin #red robin #red hood #jaytim

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Steph: One of the chefs threw pine nuts at another chef during my shift.

Babs: ...what?

Cass: Biological warfare.

#batfam #batman #stephanie brown #babs gordon #barbara gordon #cassandra cain #batgirl #black bat #orphan #spoiler #robin #oracle #birds of prey

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Dick: I'm stuck in work, RIP.

Steph: Use lube.

Dick: I've been made supervisor for the evening, I might get in trouble for that.

Steph: Supervise the lubing.

Dick: We're strictly a no-lube work place.

Steph: Fuck. Abolish the lube policy, then police the lube.

Dick: No. Lube would make my job worse. I've already had realy pervy comments from old men at the bar today, the lube would not improve it.

Steph: It would make it more interesting.

Dick: Would it?

Steph: Technically.

Dick: No.

Steph: Hear me out: lube piñata.

Dick: Hear me out: suck your mom.

Jason: Use the old men as piñatas.

Dick: Good thinking.

Steph: Now, that's a shout.

Dick: I'd have to hang them first though and that's a lot of effort.

Jason: The bar does have high enough ceilings though.

#batfam #batman #dick grayson #stephanie brown #jason todd #robin #red hood #nightwing #spoiler #batgirl #bartender dick grayson

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Steph: So at the end of my last driving lesson last Thursday, my driving instructor had to remind me that I wouldn't have a lesson this week because I'd be in Spain. Despite this, he sent me a text sating he'll be at mine for 10ish. Gary, please.

Tim: Okay, but Gary's a mood to be honest.

Steph: Oh, for fuck's sake, he's just messaged me saying he's outside. GARY, ARE YOU IN ESTEPONA, MY GUY?

Tim: adsfdfasvsds

Steph: I can receieve texts, but not send them while I'm abroad because my phone plan sucks so Cass has had to text him.

#batfam #batman #stephanie brown #tim drake #cassandra cain #robin #red robin #spoiler #batgirl #black bat #orphan #stephcass

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Tim: I know this was set a while ago, but it's slightly bizzare to see someone in school planning their wedding.

Steph: When I was in junior year, a girl from my year in middle school was married with a kid.

Tim: Like I know people who wanted to get married and stuff, but like to see someone sorting out seating plans and flowers and all sorts from a dorm room is so weird.

Steph: I remember friends wanting to plan weddings together as a game, but I was always the weird one. Because they'd all choose traditional stuff and I'd like what if I walked down the aisle on a zipline, best man chasing after it? Is it best man who walks the bride down the aisle?

Tim: No, it's usually the father who walks the bride down the aisle.

Steph: ...that's not the best man?

Tim: ...no.

Steph: Oh. You can see why I was the weird one.

Tim: The best man is someone of the groom's choosing.

Steph: I think if any of the bats get married, the best man should just always be Lucius.

Tim: I'd make Damian do it because it'd be funny.

#batfam #batman #tim drake #stephanie brown #robin #red robin #spoiler #batgirl #damian wayne #damian wayne-al ghul #lucius fox

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Damian: I found a bag of things that you'd like.

Dick: That's ominous.

Damian: It's little animals as erasers.

Dick: AWWWWW

#batfam #batman #damian wayne #damian wayne-al ghul #dick grayson #robin #nightwing

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Duke: Weezerposting is a great name for a Weezer tribute band.

Steph: Can we start it? I wanna be Rivers.

Jason: Don't we have to be virgins?

Steph: I'll call myself Streams. Look, I'm a virgin at heart.

Jason: Yeah, I'll accept that.

Tim: Virginity is a social construct so if you're not a sufficient virgin at this current moment, simply construct new virginity.

Steph: Can you do that in Minecraft?

Jason: Store-bought virgin.

Duke: If you can't afford store-bought virgin, omemade is fine.

Steph: That face when you forget to pick up a sacrifice.

Jason: That face when mom says "we have virgin at home".

Tim: And of course, you can buy Virginatrix for $4000 on Goop.

Duke: Virginatrix sounds like an early 2000s villain.

#batfam #batman #tim drake #duke thomas #stephanie brown #jason todd #robin #red robin #spoiler #batgirl #red hood #signal #weezer #goop #minecraft #virginity

[incorrectbatfamandpals]

Kate: Genuinely, hayfever can go fuck itself. I also nearly typed gayfever.

Steph: GAYFEVER.

#batfam #batman #stephanie brown #kate kane #robin #batgirl #spoiler #birds of prey #batwoman