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noxofspades · 3 months

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I get so irritated when ppl diminsh the queer aspects of brokeback mountain, saying "it's just a love story"

i probably wouldn't be so irritated if it was a different queer film but BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN?!

Starting off, saying "it's more than just gay film/story, it's a love story" is implying that it can't be both. There's nothing wrong with labeling something gay. It doesn't diminish or take anyway from the story. Stop it.

Second, regarding brokeback mountain, you're diminishing the tragedy of this film. WHY can't these men be together?

It being illegal for them to be together cuz of anti-gay laws.

Ennis' fear from seeing the man brutally tortured to death over.... His sexuality

Ennis wanting to appear macho and stoic resorting to violence because he knew that being seen as gay can make others see you less of man (in the flashback of Earl's death, he stated that Earl+Rich were tough men but still the joke of town cuz they were in love with each other.

Jack was murdered because of his sexuality (it was up for interpretation in film but I'm basing this off the book and Annie prolux wanting to focus on societal homophobia rather than the love story)

And let's not forget what happened to this film in reality. Yes, it won awards, however it was a major joke in hollywood. Ppl oversexualized and hyperfocused on the brief sex scene, demeaning that as more important than the artistry, the emotional pain and hatecrimes taken place in the film.

So implying that this film could've been made if it was between a man and woman. Or thinking the queer aspects isn't important to the narrative, go find some media literacy. And while you're at it, get some empathy for the ppl that had Ennis', Jack's and Earl's experiences in real life. Not just "omg love is beautiful " but the fact that they were isolated, dehumanized and tortured emotionally and physically (even to death) because of a basic human emotion.

#brokeback mountain #ennis del mar #jack twist #heath ledger #jake gyllenhaal #gay movies #lgbtq #gay men #hate crimes tw #lgbtqiia+#love #discrimination #homophobia #queer community

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noxofspades · 5 months

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Appreciating+analyzing Brokeback Mountain's first tent scene for it's 18th anniversary

It’s been 18 years since Ang Lee used his familarity of repression from his culture to bring Brokeback Mountain to life. Starring legendary actor, Heath Ledger, and his co-star, best friend + the godfather of his child, Jake Gyllenhaal.

And i want to show appreciation to the first tent scene. It’s the most famous scene along with Jack’s final speech. I guarantee that most non-viewer knows about either one or both of these. And while this sex scene is very impactful and a few ppl also like this scene, it's usually met with two types of reactions. First, plain homophobia. Like when ppl just immediately left the theatre, outraged or disgusted.

Ppl made parodies about this, and there was a trend of ppl showing someone this scene out of context and enjoy the shocked, horrified or disgusted reaction

On the flip side, there’s the ppl who loves+appreciates this film but has valid criticisms about this scene. It’s not realistic when it comes to prep. There’s the beans thing (even though Jack threw a whole tantrum about hating to eat this, so Ennis had to give him alternatives like hunting elk+getting soup).either way, that beans aspect is something ppl can't look past,therefore can't take seriously. This scene is too rough for some, too short for others. Or it feels really sanitized to them.

I see all of these points. I actually disliked this scene as well on my first watch when i was a young teen.However, as i grew older and i rewatched this film a few times, i developed a huge appreciation for this scene. i geninuely love this now. And coming from an aro/ace person, this one of my favorite scenes in cinema. And here's why...

We know that Ennis is a virgin from the ‘sinner’ talk. And later on, you get the details of Ennis' trauma from being forced to see the horrific aftermath of a hate crime. So growing up, as he went through puberty…i don’t think he let himself fantasize about guy. And also, his parents were methodists, so add religion in his childhood.

So this isn’t only about him giving into his lust for Jack, this is about struggling with all these repressed emotions of fear, shame. He grew up, being denied the most simple pleasure of life. So this isn’t just about this sexual release, it’s a huge, shattering emotional release as well.

And putting all this together, this backstory is the reason why this scene is vital. I highly doubt that with all this repression+trauma, that Ennis would make any kind of move, romantic or sexual. Heck, i don’t even think he was fully aware of his feelings until this moment. It implied in the short story that even though he doesn’t know why he’s so happy around Jack, he could still just palm the white of the moon.

So i believe this is the only way he could face not only his lust, but his emotions. Having Jack being aroused and explicitly state with his actions how much he wanted this

This being THE MOMENT where Ennis could experience true freedom. Let the restraints go and just vulnerable with another person. And i think it being it at night, in the dark helped give him that extra courage.And because of all the pent up lust went with his emotions, he just lost control at the sound of the belt unbuckle and just roughly took Jack on the spot.

I like how this subverts my expectation. Jack is the impulsive, extroverted and bold one. And also, i'm used to scenes where when someone is hesitant or really scared to be intimate with someone, they are usually soothed and they will slowly let themself experience pleasure. But instead, Ennis is overcome with lust, and fully takes over.

And the moments after Jack is pushed down just gets me. You hear tiny little noises of excitement from him, cuz the shy, reserved man he knew suddenly shoved him down, shaking hard from lust+impatience. And he is just waiting, while Ennis is rushing to undo his pants then practically rips off Jack's . No pleasantries, nothing, just does him raw. Is this ideal in real life? Hell no. But as a fantastical concept, i find that incredibly hot. I may not find ppl sexually attractive, but i appreciate a spicy scenario, as long as i’m not involved.

And i appreciate the film not framing the loss of Ennis' virginity as comedic or even victorious, like a prize he finally won. I often see this in media with male characters having sex for the first time. This, while abrupt, is still taken seriously. Ennis is really clumsy, and even though he’s doing the work, he’s not the one in control. He is barely hanging on, really overwhelmed by all these new sensations. The surprise, the bliss and no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t last long. The way he pressed his forehead onto Jack’s back as the orgasmic sensations abruptly hits him.

And Jack aggressively slamming on the tent floor when the release hits him. Iconic. Apparently, Jake G added that in, which shocked Ang lee in a good way. And yeah, that definitely adds to the level of intensity that this whole scene built up to.

And there’s also this brief scene i like where the two, especially Ennis, is just WIPED OUT. And while a part of me wondered why it’d be like if this scene lasted longer, I think it also really adds to the intensity of Ennis’ experience. The physical and the emotional release is so monumental for him that not only he wasn't able to last long, it also just shattered every ounce of his physical energy.

And i like how it didn’t linger on the afterglow. It’s a quick cut to the outside shot of their tent, as you still hear their panting. I liked this because it emphasizes how this was truly impulsive this act was. How desperate they were to just feel each other that they even couldn’t utter a single word. And they couldn't even take the time to fully undress or enjoy each other's bodies yet. This was just instinctive and animalistic.

And it's the fact that there's no music, and it's all shot close up, alternating from Jack+Ennis that makes it feel more authentic. To me, it doesn't feel staged, and that again, just adds so much.

And i love the contrast between this and the second tent scene. Ennis surrenders in both but has different reactions. Because of the overwhelming lust+emotions, this moment is rushed.

But after struggling to process that he found so much freedom+pleasure in something society deems immoral, he gives into his desires and enters the tent. Now since the physical barrier has been crossed, and the pent up lust is satiated, he is forced to face his emotions. And allow Jack to fully see him the most vulnerable he's ever been. The way he clutches his hat like a shield and struggles to make eye contact.

The way Jack sees all this and responds with so much tenderness. How he kissed him, whispers reassurances and cradles him. And Ennis feels safe enough to properly enjoy Jack's body. And feel his chest. That soft kiss he plants a moment later. Just gives me so many butterflies.

On the first watch, it's really sad to see Ennis so scared. But on a rewatch, when you know the details of his trauma. Soul-shattering. You fully realize how much he needed to be soothed +held like this😭😭

And then i found this great website, Brokeback Mountain Love Scene Tent – Book & Movie Library (whythebookwins.com)

where it talks about the symbolism of the nature+ tent. I love how it points out how nature is their silent witness. Whether it’s for their frantic first time, or more tender ones that happen later on. And how the tent is so confined, which reflects Jack+Ennis’ relationship. Because of our cruel society, they had to hide their love+vulnerability from the world. And because of Ennis’ trauma and internal struggle, it’s only this tent on Brokeback Mountain, that is truly becomes their only safe haven.

Heath+Jake did fantastic in both of these scenes. Especially the first one. I'm glad that there were proper measures to make sure these two were very comfortable and they weren't exploited in any way.

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noxofspades · 8 months

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Why did my autistic, queer ass think that i would fit in on Twitter 🤣🤣🤣

Learned my lesson quick LMAO.

I'm sorry for neglecting you Tumblr, I won't leave you like that again!

#twitter #lgbtqiia+#tumblr #lgbtq

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noxofspades · 10 months

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I love the "nachos" scene

Ballister and Ambrosius are in a fight, Ballister is FURIOUS at him. And yet he still says "no olives, he's allergic." With a scowl on his face. Heck, it seemed like Ambrosius himself forgot to even consider this.

That is accurate in two ways

You can be so pissed at your loved ones, but you'll still be really protective and remember the little details about them

You can be a bit of an airhead and not mention the ingredients you don't want on your order when you go to a new place. Especially when it doesn't list the ingredients. You have to ask just in case.

This is just a cute detail i love.

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noxofspades · 10 months

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nimona not only spoke to my trans experience,but to my experience as a black autistic person.

The part where nimona was shape shifting into numerous different animals to fit in made me so emotional. Growing up, I'm the only person in my family and surroundings to be mixed with Filipino, Trinidadian, scottish and south African. And I'd try to blend in with all those cultures. But overall, i still feel out of place, especially because of my appearance.

I'm also autistic , and I'd act a certain way to fit in with a group but I was 'too weird' to fit in.

But the most painful parts of the movie is nimona appearing like a child, yet everyone seeing her as dangerous. That is the experience of a black kid, especially dark skinned ones. We were treated as more adult, mature and more threatening. We get disciplined more harshly in school. And it's worse when we are neurodivergent or have mental health issues. There's numerous studies about teachers admitting they see their black students as more grown up. Black kids that are perceived as girls are also more sexualized. Not to mention the case of a cop shooting and killing a 12 year old black boy, Tamir rice, because he was playing with a toy gun. The cop claimed he thought Tamir was a grown man and felt threatened.

so yeah, this movie managed to speak to numerous parts of my life experience. I usually have to ignore a lot of parts to somewhat see myself on screen. But this is first time in my entire life i felt seen. First time I've felt myself. I feel like a whole person being represented. Thank you to all the writers that worked on Nimona.

#nimona 2023 #nimona movie #nonbinary #trans pride #lgbtqiia+#lgbtq #autistic adult #autistic characters #mixed race #blacklivesmatter #black is beautiful #tamir rice #autistic experiences #actually autistic #neurodivergent

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noxofspades · 10 months

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My reaction to Ballister x Ambrosius proved i still need to heal from queerbaiting trauma

I went into this movie completely blind. I distinctly remembered it was also a comic but i never knew the plot.

So at the beginning, when Ambrosius playfully approached Ballister, i got giddy. It felt flirtatious. But then, i felt foolish and scolded myself. This was clearly a simple friendship, why was i reacting this way? Why ruin it?

You can imagine my shock and excitement when it was revealed they were a couple. But later on, i looked back at my reaction. Why did i scold myself so strongly when i thought i was reading too much into this? It's art. It's subjective. Even if my assumption was wrong,it's not a bad thing to speculate more than friendship. These are fictional characters.

If it was a man and woman and i misread it, I'd be like "whoops" and move on. But then i remembered all the times i 'read into things' when it was queerbait,and got mocked or scolded by others, and even by the creators themselves. It happened so much i stopped trusting my instincts. And then would blatantly miss authentic rep like OFMD and nimona. And then i subconsciously learned how "perverted" and "wrong" it was to assume two guys could have more than a friendship.

Sigh.... Got of a lot internal healing to do. But anyways, thank you all the ppl that worked on Nimona. And the ones that saved this movie.

#nimona #nimona 2023 #ballister x ambrosius #ambrosius goldenloin #ballister boldheart #ofmd #queer community #queer stuff #lgbtqiia+#gay representation #movies #i love this movie #netflix #disney #queer baiting

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noxofspades · 10 months

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An analogy on queer representation, queer baiting and how monumental OFMD, IWTV, heartstopper (etc) feels

Imagine you grew up in a cell and been given crackers. However, you see that your prison wards has various types of food. Candy, pasteries, all types of meals from all over the world.

you've been complaining that you want just more substance. Even bread or cereal, but the ppl are like "crackers are edible. We aren't giving you dirt so I don't see why you're complaining.'

Years go by and someone is like "you know what, it cereal or bread wouldn't hurt" and gives it to you. You are so greatful . Sure you're still in a cell but it's way better than crackers. This is amazing! You get so used to it. After all, the ppl are right. You've been given something edible at least. It does hurt deeply you'll never experience the variety of food they get to. And it's irritating that they often complain how they want more variety of food when they already gotten the bare minimum their whole lives.

And once in a while, someone visits, says "why are you in that cell? Come join us!"

You light up. Really? We FINALLY get to experience a warm meal and dessert like others!! You join them and... You get scraps. You question it and the others are like "we never said we are sharing our whole meal. Why are you overreacting?" You feel dumb. You feel cheated. And this happens quite alot. You keep falling for it.But you hope day you get to experience the whole meal.

Then the king visits. Invites you to join everyone. You know you'll probably get scraps again but you can't help but wonder maybe THIS is the day. But you are bracing yourself for scraps. But.. You get... A whole meal. Like an ACTUAL meal. You slowly eat, waiting for ppl to take the plate away from you. You are so overwhelmed with emotions. You got a whole meal!!!

Then the king leaves and you smile. You feel upset that you were deprived from the bare minimum for so long. But you had your moment and you can't wait until he returns again.

#our flag means death #gay pride #gay representation #analogy #food #my post #our flag means love #ofmd #lgbtqia #lgbtqiia+#queer community #lgbtq #lgbtq rights #iwtv #interview with the vampire #heartstopper #heartstopper netflix #young royals

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