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stargazerauraa · 2 years
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on a small posting hiatus as i’m trying to develop a new writing style and i’ve started writing something new ! i really wanna improve.
i’m also trying to figure out how to post more efficiently here and make it look more aesthetic and whatnot. :)
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stargazerauraa · 3 years
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chapter 7
chapter 8
The man glances your way then averts his gaze back to Jimin. "Jiho! Nice to see you. Yes she is." He places a hand on the small of your back and guides you as you both follow the tall man, who you now know is Jiho.
The interior of this gigantic house is extravagant. Most of it being black, there are accents of darker purples and some warm cremes.
Despite the dark colour scheme the house is bright due to overly bright lights that are fitted on the ceiling. You notice coloured lights in other rooms as you walk past too.
Jiho reaches some more huge doors at the end of the hallway, he pushes them open and extends his arm, signalling for us to go in. You notice the vast amount of people there, everyone dressed extremely well but also quite sexily.
At this thought you look over to Jimin and take in his outfit. His silky black dress shirt is not buttoned all the way up, three of the top buttons are undone giving view to his jewellery. He's tucked it lazily into his black jeans, making him look effortlessly put together.
One thing you loved about Jimin was his "i give zero fucks, if i like it i'll wear it" attitude. You wish that you could take on his mindset sometimes.
He grabs your hands and brings your attention to what he's saying and away from his attire, which he knows you're loving.
"Let's have fun tonight. Just you and I."
Your heart begins to race as he looks into your eyes, but as he looks away you being questioning why you feel like this all of a sudden. Jimin sighs in relief when you nod shyly and avert your attention to everyone in the large room.
You notice the way his brown eyes glint under the dim lights, his chocolate brown hair that's always perfectly dyed. It's the little things about him that send your mind spiralling.
They always have done. You used to scold yourself for finding him so attractive since you weren't single, but now you are. Why should you feel bad?
While lost in your thoughts, Jimin releases your hands from his grasp as a woman and a man walk over to you both.
"Enjoying the party?" The woman says, placing hear hand on Jimin's upper arm. You nod in response, taking a sip of the champagne that you just picked up from one of the servers.
"Yes, thank you. It's nice to see you again." Jimin smiles warmly towards the pair. "They're hosting the party."
-
The party has been ongoing for four hours now and you haven't had this much fun in such a long time. You've danced with Jimin and been introduced to some of his close friends, drank some expensive alcohol and just generally felt free.
Jimin's hand runs down your back, stopping at the curve of your spine. "I've never been this tired at a party. You're draining me." He jokes in a husky voice close to your ear.
His warm breath tickling your skin, you grip onto his shoulder a little tighter.
"You're the biggest partier i've ever known, i'm sure you've gone crazier than this." You retort, equally as close to his face as he is yours.
The close proximity between the two of you creating a type of tension you've never felt before.
He slowly angles his face to yours, glancing from your lips to your eyes and back to your lips. You catch yourself being pulled into him slowly as his lips just touch yours.
You pull away, feeling overwhelmed and grab his hand, leading him to the bar so you can sit down.
"How will we get home? We've both been drinking." You question as you search how for a bottle of water. You've never been a big drinker and you're at your limit.
Jimin leans back and rests his elbows on the bar behind him, taking a deep breath. He's been thinking about this all night. Truthfully, he doesn't want tonight to end. He's enjoyed every second of tonight with you, maybe a little too much.
If he's honest with himself, he's been wanting to get you alone for a while but the universe wasn't on his side.
You've been friends for a while, but he's also been watching you since you entered his life.
He loves the way you present yourself. You're a perfect mix of calm and attitude. My god.. he loves that attitude of yours sometimes.
Your emotions mimic the sea, it can turn from perfectly calm to rough within minutes. He finds it so intriguing. He finds you intriguing.
"Since this is my close friends home, they said we could stay here the night." He runs a hand through his now slightly dishevelled hair.
You're too tired to disagree. Plus, this place is luxurious. You wouldn't mind staying here for the night.
Jimin leads you through the party, weaving though couples dancing and kissing, and into the hallway.
The staircase looks intricately made, hand crafted. The railings made of wood, cold to the touch as you grab them to guide you to your room for the night. Once you walk down the ridiculously long hallway, you reach the end room. When Jimin pushes it open, you gasp.
It's the biggest room you've ever seen. There are two beds and an en suite with a large bath, and standing shower. Since the room is towards the back of the house, the view is of the gardens. It has an old looking fountain surrounded by different coloured roses.
"This is beautiful." You breathe out as you drop onto the soft bed, kicking your uncomfortable heels off somewhere. Where, you really don't care.
Jimin sits on the edge of the other bed, directly opposite of you.
He places his elbows on his knees, letting his chin rest on his hands. Silver rings adorning his fingers, making him stand out even more in the dull light of the room.
Why must he be so perfect? You wonder as you take in all of his features, you wish you could take a mental picture. "We can share this room." He speaks up and begins removing his shoes.
Your eyes shoot open as you watch him walk around the room, adjusting small things here and there. "Why? I can take the room across the hall."
He stops closing the blinds and turns to you. Eyes pleading for something you're not sure of,
"Theres two beds here, just stay here tonight," His voice trails off as he makes his way back to the bed. Jimin leans forward slightly and smirks, "I'm sure we can control ourselves, right?"
You find yourself smiling back and stop yourself.
Can i?
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stargazerauraa · 3 years
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chapter 6
chapter 7
Your eyes open slightly as they adjust to the light of the room. Your nap has been disturbed by your phone going off.
Due to feeling ill you had called in sick today. For some reason you woke up feeling completely off, knowing you wouldn't be able to get any work done. Even lifting you head off of the pillow is too much effort, but once you do you check who's messaging you.
P.J.M
i was wondering if you wanna be my plus one to this party i'm going to tonight?
You've never been invited as a plus one before, and even though you feel sick right now, going out to enjoy yourself sounds like something you need.
‘sure! sounds fun’ you reply.
P.J.M
great. i'll pick you up at 9, wear something pretty :)
It's been a while since you've attended an event. You don't really get invited anywhere like this, so when you do you make sure to take the chance.
Since you've been in bed all day you need to wake yourself up, and look presentable.
"It's six now, i've got time to take a bath." You voice out loud as if someone was there to hear you.
Sometimes the apartment is too silent. You walk around, look at things and picture how they used to be.
The times when you'd voice something out loud and get a response but now all you're met with is defining silence.
As you run the bath you try to make it as comforting as possible. Candles, rose petals, music .. it's all just decoration for loneliness.
It makes you feel pathetic in a way, yet you continue to scatter rose petals into the hot water.
You slowly submerge yourself into the water, then lay back and watch the steam rise up and disperse into the air.
Wear something pretty. It's like it's tattooed onto your brain.
In all honesty, you haven't felt pretty since your breakup. All you saw was that woman's back and hair and yet it made you insecure.
Every time you went out with Namjoon he'd turn heads. Women checking him out all the time, he reciprocated their looks of course. That's just the man he is.
He'd assure you that you were the most beautiful to him. A goddess, his goddess.
"How did i fall so lucky, to have you in my arms? To be mine." He'd whisper against your skin as he seemed to worship every inch of you and yet he mustn't have been that lucky, or he'd never have let you go.
You felt more like a curse or a burden than a blessing.
Tonight has to mark a change for you. You're going to try to feel beautiful, gorgeous and wanted.
Pretty.
-
"You're twenty minutes late." You got ready slightly earlier than you needed to because you couldn't decide what to wear.
Jimin's usually pretty much on time, so you wondered why he was late today.
He gives you a big smile as he parks the car. While you wait for him to answer, you take a look around. It seems to be a house party that he's invited you to. The house is huge, you'd even describe it as a mansion.
The exterior is quite simple but your eyes are drawn to the windows first, they're ornate and pitch black, matching the huge double doors which make the house look slightly intimidating.
It's not very often you see a house that's completely black. You like it, it reminds you of your apartment now you've done your renovations.
"I wanted to be fashionably late with a pretty woman on my arm," Jimin responds as he gets out of the car to open your door for you. "I also ran out of gas." he mumbles.
Laughing, you step out of the warm car into the chilly air, making sure your dress is covering everything you need it do.
It's shorter than you remember it being when you brought it, but it has been a while since you wore it.
You link you arm with his and make your way through the gates of the house.
Jimin inhales and catches the smell of your perfume. The one he brought you as a present when he visited Italy a few months ago.
He spent twenty minutes deciding which to choose, which scent would match you perfectly.
After testing multiple perfumes he landed upon a warm, vanilla scent. It encapsulated your warm personality and comforting aura he always sensed from you.
Ever since you started wearing it he thought of you every time he smelt something vanilla.
Which was every day, because he brought the matching cologne.
"Well, i told you to dress pretty and you didn't disappoint." He eyes your dress, all the way from the thin straps clinging to your delicate shoulders, the way the red fabric clings to your waist and to the exact place the material stopped.
You reach the massive doors and press the doorbell, "Thank you." Your voice is quiet. For some reason he's making you feel shy and nervous tonight.
A tall, muscly man answers the door after a few minutes. "Jimin, nice to see you brother. This is your plus one?"
You prepare mentally to be the most confident, happy and sexy version of yourself tonight.
Even if that means blocking all your emotions off.
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stargazerauraa · 3 years
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chapter 5
chapter 6
Paperwork has been piling up on Jimin's desk for the past few hours, yet he can't even bring himself to pick up his pen to sign anything. He knows he needs to, before Namjoon enters the room and starts scolding him for 'slacking off' or whatever he calls it, but Jimin's mind is in turmoil.
Since his childhood memories had resurfaced this morning he hasn't been able to concentrate.
Jimin's thoughts are interrupted but the one person he did not want to see today, entering the room with a bright smile. "Jimin, i need the paperwork to be signed. The meeting is in an hour."
Namjoon saunters over to Jimin's desk, pushing some items aside so he can sit on the edge of the desk, playing with the rings on his fingers. "They'll be ready soon." Jimin mumbles as he glares as his friend who's encroaching on his space.
"Soon isn't fast enough i want it in the next fifteen minutes." He begins leaving the room. "What's for you looking so pleased, Joon?" Jimin questions, his finger tapping his lip slightly as he watches his friend.
Namjoon's practically glowing. He hasn't seen the man look so vibrant in a while. As much as he gets on Jimin's last nerve, he's quite pleased with his friends new-found joy.
Namjoon adjusts his glasses and leans on the door frame, "Nothing really. Things with the girl i'm seeing are going pretty well, so."
Jimin notices the way he's smirking. She must be amazing to get Namjoon acting like this. "What's her name?" He gets up and heads over to Namjoon, handing him the paperwork he wanted so desperately.
Something about the way Namjoon acts when Jimin asks for details is strange. He's evasive and won't even tell the rest of the group her name.
He claims he wants to know that she's the one before he introduces her to everyone.
"None of your business. Anyway, during lunch me and Hoseok will meet at the cafe, wanna join?" His smile reappears as quick as it left.
Jimin nods and bids him goodbye. Nothing adds up with Namjoon, and now Jimin can't focus once again.
-
Namjoon taps his pen repeatedly against the table while reading the contract he just got emailed this morning.
"Stop tapping that fucking pen." Jimin snaps after ten minutes of trying to ignore Namjoons incessant tapping.
Namjoon simply rolls his eyes, dropping the pen. "When is Hoseok gounna get here?" He questions an irritated Jimin.
"No idea." Jimin realises that he's being kind of unfair to Namjoon by having a temper with him.
He's only in a bad mood because he had got only three hours of sleep. "So, are you ever going to introduce us to this girl you're dating?"
"Not yet, i don't know when." Namjoon replied quickly. Short and sweet. He has no intentions of introducing her to the group, feeling like the right time will never arrive.
Hoseok enters the cafe, dropping his bags onto the floor. "I'm here i'm here," He exclaims as he rubs his hands together, glancing over the menu.
"Did i come at a bad time or something?" Hoseok raises and eyebrow at his two friends who seem a little tense.
Jimin shakes his head and places his phone on the table. He was in the middle of typing out a message to you, seeing if you'd like to attend a party tonight. "I was just asking Joon when he's gounna introduce us to his girl."
This seems to be a touchy subject for Namjoon, all the boys noticed but decided to leave him to it.
Ever since his breakup with you he's been secretive with anything to do with relationships, or even hookups. Namjoon sighs loudly, causing Hoseok to jump slightly beside him. "You're not meeting her. Period. That's it. End of story."
Jimin and Hoseok share a look, wondering what's gotten into him. The only reason Jimin wants to meet her is to warn her that Namjoon seems to have problems with commitment.
He'd tell her to leave while she can, or at least be careful, because he'd hate for what happened to you to happen to some other unsuspecting woman.
It broke you, you weren't the same for a long time and Jimin hated absolutely every second of it.
"Fine. I don't really give a fuck anyway. You're just being weird about it." Jimin scoffs as he picks up his coffee, tucking his chair under the table. "I'll see you later guys."
Namjoon grabs Jimin's arm as he goes to walk past. "My relationships are my buisness, not yours Jimin. You should sort your own love life out before getting involved in mine." He says through gritted teeth.
He loves Jimin, but his involvement in his love life pisses him off more than he'd like to admit.
Jimin clenches his jaw and snatched his arm out of Namjoon's grasp. Why would he hit him where it hurts?
You don't kick your friends when they're down.
"Whatever. See you tomorrow."
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stargazerauraa · 3 years
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chapter 4
chapter 5
Today is the day that you've been dreading for the past two weeks. It's been playing on your mind since your father called you late on a Sunday evening.
"Angel, how are you?" Your fathers voice lifts your spirits. even more so when you hear him call you the nickname he's called you since you were little.
"I'm okay, are you? Why are you calling so late?" You often worry when he calls you out of the blue.
Your mother has tried to cut you out of everyone's life. Especially hers, but she sees how close you and your father is and she disposes it, so she keeps him from calling you.
You hear him chuckle on the other end of the phone at the worry in your voice. You've always been a worrier.
"Family dinner in two weeks time, i want you to attend."
The line falls silent on both ends, "No." You reply sternly after a few seconds. Theres no way you're attending a family dinner, especially when that demon you call your mother will be there.
"Angel-" He starts but you cut him off. "Your wife doesn't want me there why are you inviting me."
Your father takes a deep breath, "That's your mother too, not just my wife." He sounds exhausted and you can't help but feel bad, but this has to be the worst idea he's ever had.
"Do you forget that i don't care?" You toss your half eaten sandwich in the bin, the thought of going making you feel sick.
"Please, just attend the dinner. For me." He knows you have a soft spot for him and he plays on him. 'Smart' you think as you try to open your water bottle with one hand.
Sighing, you answer him reluctantly. "Fine, for you. My god, you know i'm a push over why do you have to do this?"
He laughs and hangs up, leaving you wondering what the fuck just happened.
You stand in front of the mirror in your dress that's far too short, tight and low-cut for a 'family' dinner and smile.
"This ought to piss her off. It's perfect." You say, admiring yourself.
Your mother doesn't like people who go against the norm, or women who are comfortable in their own skin.
She especially doesn't like revealing clothing. So you wear exactly that.
-
All of the confidence you seemed to exude beforeyou got to your parents house disappears once you knock at the door. You feel like a kid again. Small and vulnerable. Susceptible to her hurtful words.
Your father opens the door and embraces you in a hug immediately. "I like the outfit." He praises as soon as you release the hug.
"It'll give your mother a heart attack, i'm glad you wore it." You laugh with him as you make your way to the dining room.
As you enter you see your two sisters sitting with your mother. Your eldest sister inspects the ring on your mother's finger and your other older sister giggles at something.
You haven't seen them for years, they haven't changed. Their hair is still blonde and they wear the same formal gowns they do every time mother threw one of her obnoxious parties that you weren't invited to.
"Angel is here." Your father announces abs you both enter the room."
You take a seat at the end of the table, facing your mother and father with your sisters either side of you.
"You made it. And you look like a whore, couldn't you dress appropriately for once?" She stares you down, forgetting that you're no longer a 17 year old with self esteem issues.
You glare back, "Hi, mother."
One thing you learnt was the less you say, the more aggravated she became.
"I invited her because this is a family dinner and she is family. Let's just eat well, okay?" Your father chimes in as he always does.
You nod and take a sip of your water as the food arrives. The nausea of being back in this house hits you but you know that you must eat, otherwise it's just another thing for her to scold you for.
"Angel, how is the firm? You're making good money i hear." He starts, hoping to shine some positive light onto you.
"Yes, i get payed one of the top salaries within the firm. I got a promotion recently that i was really hoping for…" You feel yourself loosening up a little.
Your mother exhales and drops her spoon into her bowl, the clattering sound bringing silence upon the five of you. She has a bored expression plastered across her face as she clasps her hands together, placing her chin on her hands.
"Yes yes that's great. Did you know that your sister started her own company last year ? It's really taking off." She brags as she pinches your sisters cheek jokingly.
They talk about anything and everything that has nothing to do with you for the rest of the night while you simply sit and listen like you always did.
"You know," Your mother slurs slightly as she gulps down the rest of her wine in her glass. "You look terrible in that dress."
She places the glass down slowly, "Did i tell you that already?" a drunken grin emerges on her face.
You’re definitely ready to leave now.
"Yes, you did and i told you that i don't give a fuck about what you think." Your patience is running out and she's pushing your buttons.
Her glaring eyes darken as she gives you that familiar look. Anxiety spreads through your body as memories of your childhood resurface. All by that one look.
"You've always been a disrespectful little girl. Never appreciating anything i do for you, unlike your sisters who are always grateful. What went wrong with you?" She bellows as she slams he hands upon the table making the cutlery move.
Your sisters do nothing. They don't stand up for you, their little sister. They don't flinch, or even look your way.
"Honey that is enough. You've had enough to drink so you're taking it out on her, like you always have done." Your father stands up for you as he grabs his wife's hands harshly, pulling her away from you.
Your mother's face contorts into an emotion you can't read. It's like disbelief, anger, humour ... you've never been able to tell what shes thinking.
"What the fuck do you mean by that? I'm not the one with the issue here," She begins to take steps forward to your father, getting into his face as she waves her arms around in anger. "She is the issue. You're precious angel." She spits out your childhood nickname as if it were offensive to her.
One thing you can't stand is when she gets aggressive with your dad. You always feel some sense of needing to protect him from her. "Get the hell away from him," You start as you grab your jacket from the back of your chair.
"Obviously me being here causes problems. For some reason, you can't stand to be in the same room as me or even breathe the same air as me." Suddenly, emotions begin to arise that you've kept hidden for so long. Words that you swore you'd never say begin to fall from your lips.
"They are the daughters you always wanted and craved, but me? not so much. I never asked to be brought into this world to be treated to badly by the ones who were supposed to love and protect me,
i'm sorry i can't be the daughter you wanted so badly but i never asked for any of this. It's not my fault."
You slip the jacket on, letting your hands fall to your sides before turning on your heel, ready to leave this hell hole. "Pathetic." Is all your mother can spits out as you leave.
Stopping in your tracks, you turn around and face the humans you share blood with. The one that brought you life. "You're not my mother as far as i'm concerned, and you,"
You point to both of your sisters, "are no sisters of mine. As far as i'm concerned, i'm an only child with a father and no mother. You're dead to me."
With that, you turn once again and strut out of the dining room and make your way to your car.
Your heels the only sound as you've left everyone speechless.
As you drive home, tears blur your vision of the road but you done even care. It feels as though a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders. Instead of feeling weighed down you feel as though you could float away.
It's now just you and your father. And that's all you need.
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stargazerauraa · 3 years
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chapter 3
chapter 4
White sheets lie discarded, trailing behind Jimin's tired body that lies in the middle of his bedroom floor.
The thin fabric clings to his figure, wrapping itself around his legs and torso as if it has a life of its own. Suffocating him slowly.
Jimin's head pounds as he tries to move, his stomach churning from all of the drinking last night.
His hands slowly move around trying to unwrap himself, grasping at the sheets as if his life depended on it. As if he'd never escape.
The day had only just begun and yet he was already exhausted. He didn't feel like facing the day, not if he had to endure the day alone again.
Just as he has done for the past three years.
He woke up, went to meetings, made money, partied with friends, fucked some of the most sought after women in the city and yet he still felt empty.
Jimin's friends tried to set him up a few times but it never worked out. Just as he got used to them being around, or even started to have feelings for them it'd fuck up.
They'd cheat, or he'd find out that they were only with him for his money and status.
Jimin would hurt for a little while, then get back to his usual antics. That was a cycle that had been happening for years and he was tired of it.
Tired of waking up alone and going to sleep alone.
Alone. The word alone makes him want to throw up.
"Jimin, why the fuck are you so lonely?" he sighs out, acting like he hasn't asked himself this over a million times.
The answer never changes, Jimin doesn't even believe that he deserves someone anyway.
He has never felt truly needed a day in his life. Not by his ex's nor his parents.
When his parents made the decision to pass custody of him to his uncle at fourteen years old, any self worth that he had seemed to disappear.
"Why can't you just do what you're told like your older brother?" Jimin's father shouts as he pours himself a glass of whiskey.
Jimin checks the time, 9:21am. He prepares for the day ahead; keep out of fathers way, don't do anything to piss him off and most importantly, keep. yourself. sane.
"Honey, it's a little early for whiskey don't you think?" His mother asks, finishing with an uneasy laugh.
You have to talk to his father like a child, implying things instead of telling him what to do. Using a light tone just to not upset him, even when he's verbally abusing you.
Jimin mastered this at a very young age. Anything to ease the anger of the man he calls his father.
"It doesn't matter what time i drink. It doesn't have a time limit, i will drink when i want." He slams his hand on the table, causing everyone to tense up.
His father scans the room, intoxicated eyes searching for someone to bully.
He chose Jimin.
His hand grips the crystal glass tightly, the vision of his son who he loves deep down, becomes blurry with rage. "I'm sick of seeing you around this house,"
Jimin stands in the door frame, hands beginning to tremble slightly. That familiar feeling of fear building up within him.
"When i turn 17 i'm leaving anyway. You only have to wait three years and i'll be gone." Jimin's mother walks over to him, hands reaching out for his. "Son, you know you don't have to leave,"
Her voice gets quieter, "He doesn't mean it sweetie you know that." She reassures him.
It's not enough anymore. That man has not loved him a day in his life and if he has, he didn't have to decency to show him.
"No i mean it. I've been talking to my brother, he's willing to take custody of him." Jimin's father breaks the silence that fell upon them.
Jimin didn't know how to feel that day. He was happy to leave his abusive father but he wondered why he was the one his father wanted out of the house.
Why was he the one everyone always wanted to keep distance from?
"He just treats me better than you do." His ex girlfriend exclaims with frustration, as a broken hearted Jimin pleads for answers to open ended questions.
He never gets a straight answer.
Tears brim in his eyes as she slips her heels off, "I've given you everything you've wanted. I've treated you so well, what more could you possibly want?"
He doesn't take his eyes off of hers, hoping that she'd see the desperation in them. "You're just not him, and he's what i want. Im sorry."
Jimin's chest falls and rises as memories flash through his mind. Things he'd rather forget forever.
He doesn't even want to remember his ex's names or see their faces again.
He sits up and checks the time, knowing that he needs to be at his best to work, he puts it all behind him.
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stargazerauraa · 3 years
Text
i apologise for not posting weekly (i think its been two weeks ) but i recently just started uni and i have just ordered a macbook! so im working on a schedule and plots :)
iv'e been writing for Don't Stop, and i recently started a new story!
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stargazerauraa · 3 years
Text
can someone help me/ guide me on how to make embedded links and how to do “read more” i have no idea how to do it :/
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stargazerauraa · 3 years
Text
Chapter 2
Tumblr media
Chapter 3
Present day
The only thing keeping you at this god forsaken job is good pay and your friends. You don't necessarily enjoy it, but having them there makes it more bare able.
If it were up to you, you'd simply make art for a living and just dance as much as you wanted. Unfortunately, life doesn't work like that.
At least not for you anyway.
The only reason you got the job was because Seokjin recommended you.
"We need to close this deal, they have three other companies willing to buy. Please have the paperwork on my desk by the end of the day." The tall man placed the paper on your desk as soon as you enter the office area.
It's a huge, open office and his private office is far away from your desk, he must've been waiting for you.
You exhale in annoyance as you place your bag next to the papers you're ready to simply throw into the trash.
Being met with the one thing that definitely doesn't keep you at this job as soon as you make it to work, is not your favourite thing in the world.
The thing, more like person, is your ex boyfriend. Namjoon.
Ever since the breakup it's been hard seeing him at work everyday. Eventually the awkwardness that fell over the two of you every time you were alone disappeared.
Both of you were able to have a normal conversation again. It didn't stop the frustration you felt occasionally though.
"Sure. I'll get it to you later." You smile slightly as your eyes search the room for your friends.
He places a hand on your desk and waits for you to look at him, "You're coming to Jin's later, right?"
Every time he asks you to hang out, deep down he hopes and prays that you say yes. Any time with you, he savours.
Namjoon has never admitted that to anyone, not even his best friends. He must keep control over his emotions, especially when it comes to you.
Your eyes make their way back to the man in-front of you, "yeah, Hoseok is picking me up and then we'll make our way there."
Hoseok enters the office and quickly makes his way over to you and Namjoon. He notices the slight irritation on your face and grins.
He'd be annoyed too if he had to see his ex everyday and hang out with them.
"Hey guys, what's up?" He greets you both with a hug. "Nothing really, just talking about tonight's plans." Namjoon replies to his friend, his arm around the shorter mans shoulders.
After some casual conversation you begin working. The day was filled with meetings and a lot of negotiation. You're so warn out you feel like you could fall asleep as soon as you enter your apartment.
You drop down onto your black leather couch, closing your eyes since you know you have some time until you need to get ready.
The leather is cold on your hot skin, calming you in a way. You've been frustrated all day.
Since the breakup you've changed a lot of things. Some of it just fell into place, others had to become a forced change.
The apartments decor went from pink, fluffy and creme all over to black, white and marble. Everything became colder, the only thing you kept the same was your bedroom.
The sheets still a pastel pink with a white blanket laid over the top. White walls with full length mirrors ... this room had to stay the same.
As much as you have hate for Namjoon, you can't deny that there were good times.
The way you used to lay in bed and read, annotating the columns of each others books.
Make love on the pink sheets and wake up wrapped in them content.
Cuddle until you had to get up.
These were moments that haunted your dreams and memories but every night you go to bed, lie on your side of the bed even though you have the whole bed to yourself now.
You still subconsciously lift your arm up and expect someone to be there, but you're met with the same coldness that you felt on the morning of your last day of being one with someone else.
Now you truly are, one. Singular, alone.
The single life is not all that bad, honestly. You've got used to it now and you're not too disappointed by it.
It's just that sometimes the dreams are too real, and the memories are too vivid.
Your phone disrupts your thoughts as it buzzes next to you, "Hoseok? it's not time to leave yet is it?" You feel like you've had your eyes shut for hours.
"Nope, i was just calling to tell you that Jimin, Yoongi, Taehyung and Jungkook will be there too. They have three weeks of vacation time so they're coming over."
You sit up and decide to start getting ready now. Hoseok tells you that he'll be there in an hour but in reality he means 45 minutes.
"Oh that's great! It's been a while since we've all met together." He hums in response, you say your goodbyes and end the call.
-
"I literally do not care about the specifics of your sex life, Jungkook." You manage to say through laughter.
Two beers in and Jungkook's already spilling all of his secrets.
Jungkook squints his eyes at you, "Don't lie, you know you wanted me to tell you." He leans back in his chair and finishes the remaining beer in the glass.
"I definitely didn't weirdo." You wonder where Aimi is, she's not usually late.
You introduced her to the friendship group a few years ago and she fit in well.
Noticing that Namjoon also isn't here yet, you put two and two together, deciding that they're probably on their way together.
Everyone converses while waiting for them. You're daydreaming as Jimin takes a seat next to you. "Hey, you alright?" He drapes his arm around your shoulder  and leans in slightly.
His presence already makes you calm down and relax, "I'm alright, just tired from work. As you know, since you were the one assigning all the work today." You jokingly accuse him, which he just laughs at.
"Well, it was a busy day. Where's Joon? and Aimi? are they arriving together?" His eyebrows furrow slightly as he asks.
You shrug, not putting much effort into your response. "Probably. They always seem to arrive together recently.
At Yoongi's birthday party three weeks ago they arrived together, they did the same last week at the restaurant.
"No need to worry everyone! Your favourite people are here." Namjoon announces as he swings the door open. His voice cutting through everyone else's conversations.
As suspected, Aimi follows behind quickly. You notice the way shes fixing her hair and makeup as she enters the room.
She quickly moves over to you, now occupying the seat that Jimin just did. He must've got up to greet Namjoon.
"Hey, sorry i'm late. Joon was talking so long to get ready." She giggles slightly after finishing her sentence.
You just smile and hand her a drink. That heaviness within your chest is creeping up on you the more that time ticks by.
"Let's do some shots." Yoongi announces from the head of the table while he pours multiple shots.
They begin to pass them down until everyone has a shot.
"Time for some fun. Let's forget about reality for a while."
a/n: this is mainly dialogue for this chapter but i hope it was interesting enough. since it’s only dialogue i’ll post chapter 4 right after this one today :)
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stargazerauraa · 3 years
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drabble(?) for Chapter 2 of Don’t Stop
warnings: strong language, mild violence.
paring: Namjoon x reader
a/n: here’s a drabble (at-least i think that that’s what i’d call it?) for chapter 2 of Don’t stop. i thought that i could do some short drabbles and continuations/ spin-offs for some of the chapters in between posting full chapters for that story. not sure if this is a good idea yet so i’ll try it.
-
“if you hate me that much why don’t you fuck off and leave me alone?” Your voice is soft. Such a pretty tone of voice delivering the most hurtful words.
Your movements are slow as you wander over to the couch, looking at it with disgust. “if i’m so bad, so unsatisfactory, why don’t you have that whore in your life full time?”
It was never you that drove Namjoon to adultery, You never were unsatisfactory, matter of fact you were more than enough. His problem was that he wanted it all.
He wanted to sneak around. To have women pine for him, he wanted to feel untouchable. Unattainable for these beautiful women that he saw.
You always knew he craved attention, especially from women, because you too were one of those silly girls who wanted him. It even got to the point where you felt like you needed him.
“It’s not like that,” He starts while fiddling with his phone in his hands, trying to rack his brain for a reasonable explanation as to why he has a video of him railing some ‘random’ blonde is on his phone.
Deep down he knows that there is no reasonable explanation for cheating. We all know it’s wrong, every single human on this planet is taught that you do not cheat. Whether that be in a test, or the person you love.
“It’s not you. You’re perfect i just-“ Why must he lie? Nothing has ever been straight forward with this man.
Namjoon sighs and walks over to you, trying to get close, feel that familiar warmth radiating from your body, but tonight you’re colder than ever. Uninviting as he slowly reaches for you. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry doesn’t really cut it. Why did you do it? Did you have to hurt me in such an awful and embarrassing way?” Your voice gets louder the more that video replays in your mind.
His large hand reaches for your face, it graces the skin of your cheek as he runs the back of his hand down to your neck, sighing at the feeling. The way that he can feel your windpipe moving as you swallow, smooth skin. He takes you in, savouring the moment since he knows you probably won’t he his for much longer.
Suddenly his grip on your neck becomes tighter, the pressure increasing by the second. “I said i was sorry, i’ll even get on my knees and apologise one more time, just accept it,” His voice is hoarse as his eyes start becoming a window to his soul. They glisten with tears the more he holds onto your neck.
You let him press harder and harder, seeing how far he can go. You’re too tired to fight back anyway so it’s not like you care to push him off. “I’ll accept the apology, don’t even bother to fall to your knees. But i won’t forgive you.” You manage to choke out, some words beginning to merge into one another.
He shakes his head quickly, strands of hair falling into his face from his perfectly slick back hair. “You know i don’t want to loose you.”
At this you grab his wrist, forcing you other hand around his fingers to prise his hands off your neck. “Either choke me till i take my last breath or leave! Taking you back isn’t an option, sorry.” His hands are finally away from your neck, you take a deep breath, trying to fill your lungs with oxygen.
He stumbles back, looking at your neck then your eyes. Namjoon’s hands fall to his sides as he tries to force himself to accept the fate of his relationship with you. It’s ending but he isn’t ready.
He had always prepared to end things with the other woman, he planned what to say and how to say it. Admitting to himself that he probably wouldn’t be that sad.
But you. The words “Were over” are words he never wanted to hear leave your pretty lips.
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stargazerauraa · 3 years
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Chapter 1
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Chapter 2
lies, lies, lies.
Namjoon finally enters his apartment at one in the morning. Work had finished two hours ago, but he wanted to celebrate closing a deal with his friends.
They drank and ate barbecued meat at their favourite restaurant, what had completely slipped Namjoon's mind was the fact that you were supposed to be cooking dinner tonight.
It's a good job he ate already, because you weren't planning on cooking for the man anyway.
He immediately notices the still messy couch, the exact way he left it this morning. The coffee cup he drank out of when he woke up still sitting on the counter.
You were never one to leave a mess, he knew this.
Maybe you felt unwell today, is what he thought until you enter the room from the bedroom.
You look like a blank canvas. No type of emotion on your face, nothing showing in your body language either. The hair on Namjoon's neck stands up as you quietly turn on the lights and slowly walk over to him.
The look on your face as you stand in front of him tells him something is up, he just isn't sure what it is.
"You left your phone on the couch, honey." Your voice is unintentionally weak. Trying to be strong is so hard when your soul is hurting this much.
He flashes you a lazy smile, showing you that he's slightly inebriated. "i was so tired this morning," he slowly begins to slide it off of the counter and put in in the pocket of his jacket.
"i guess it just slipped my mind. It doesn't really bother me."  You snicker at this, he's always been a terrible liar. From the moment you met him.
You nod silently, eyes flickering from his eyes to his nose and then lips. Just taking in his features for one last time as your lover.
"You know," breaking the silence that seemed to last for hours as you step closer to Namjoon, "i used to love that couch. I chose it especially for us. For our home."
Emphasising the 'us' and 'our', you point your finger over to the living room and sigh. He looks at you with a confused expression, "why are you taking about the couch all of a sudden?"
Namjoon's mind races with thoughts. She can't possibly know, right?
Your head slowly turns back to the man who was supposed to be your soul mate, your one and only.
"Well, it looks dirty now." Your eyes darken as the words leave your mouth coldly, hoping he'd take the hint and confess.
His eyes go wide for a second before returning to their original cold and unreadable state. "Dirty? my love what are you talking about?"
The nickname is so sweet, almost so sweet that it makes you feel sick. You used to relish in the moments that he called you that. Now it hurts more than heals you.
Deciding that he's just not going to get the hint, you try a more straight forward approach.
"Alright then, why did you fuck some blonde bitch on our couch two weeks ago?"
Anger spreads through your entire body as his face falls into a look of shock. "What?! W- The fuck are you talking about?"
Namjoon's hands make their way to his head, he pulls at the roots of his dark brown hair in frustration.
"Cut the bullshit, Namjoon. I saw the video!" Tears brim in your eyes but you're determined to not let them fall. Not in front of him.
He paces the room, as if thinking of excuses. Whispering to himself as his hands fall to his sides. "Why were you on my phone?" You stare in disbelief, "It unlocked as i picked it up from face id and the video popped up."
Namjoon stops, silence falling over them like a blanket. "Is that your only concern right now? The fact that i was on your fucking phone?"
You bring your hands together and clasp them in-front of you, digging your nails into your skin in frustration.
"No, no baby you're right. Listen it's not what it looks like," His voice is quieter than you've ever heard it. It makes your heart hurt more than it already does. He makes his way over to you, shaky hands reaching for your face as he looks into your eyes.
You find no comfort in the action. It's just hurting you so much more.
"It meant nothing. I swear to you, i can fix this, i," It always means something with Namjoon. He never does anything without reason. He’s not a man who doesn’t think before he acts, or at least that’s how you thought he was.
You shake your head slightly. His touch feels like it's burning at this point. "Nothing you've ever done means nothing, Joon. And you know what?"
Overwhelmed and frustrated. Tears threaten to spill down your cheeks at any moment now, making you push him off of you and you distance yourself.
"Maybe i don't want to fix this." His eyes widen as you continue, "I've seen the way you look at other women. Not just glances, you stare. You admire, your eyes glisten with fascination for fuck sake!"
At this point your throat is strained and dry, but the feelings erupting from you can't be contained much longer.
"You've never been happy with just me, have you?" Now you're in his face, wanting him to see the pain in your face. "You are a poor excuse for a man Namjoon."
When the words leave your mouth you know you've pushed his buttons. The shocked and sad look on his face is gone, only a hardened and cocky expression is present. You've gone for his ego.
He glares down at you, the previous wide and glistening eyes are now cold. "You're just insecure, always have been. There are plenty of beautiful women out there, better than you, of course i'm going to look but i'm with you aren't i?"
His words hit you right in the gut, almost knocking you back. You pushed his buttons and he's pushing yours. 'Maybe i deserve it.'
"There are plenty of men who'd be happy to provide for me, fuck me how i want them to and love me and yet i still chose you, didn't i?" You spit the words out before even thinking.
This isn't your nature. You don't like hurting people, unlike Namjoon. When you're being pushed too far you become someone you don't recognise.
Already feeling bad you drop your head, "Im just hurt,"
When you peer up at him he's still cold. Unmoving and stand off-ish, you're not sure what you expected from tonight. "You know what just leave." You whisper just loud enough for him to hear.
Surprisingly, he simply glares at you. "I assume you're breaking up with me?" He questions confidently, seemingly unaffected.
"Yes, i love you but this has hurt me too much to bare." You see a glimpse of hurt that flashes across his features but he quickly composed himself.
He nods silently as he looks at you longingly before turning on his heels and heads to the door.
"I'm so sorry. I hope one day you can forgive me. I'll collect my stuff tomorrow."
With that you're left with nothing but your thoughts and a whole bunch of memories.
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stargazerauraa · 3 years
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Don’t stop | PJM
summary: “The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” ~ "That's what i adore about you, my love. You never fail to put me in my place.” ~ "You know that they're never gounna accept this ... everyone and everything will try to tare you both apart, Can you handle the pressure?"
warning(s): mature themes, swearing, violence.
word count: 1k
a/n: this is the first fic i’ve published (across multiple platforms) and the first fic i’m ever publishing here. i’d like to know your thoughts, and opinions. i hope to improve !
chapter 1
11 months ago
You reluctantly open your eyes, they feel too heavy, as though you'd fall back to sleep any second now.
While you lie there, alone, in the bed you share with your boyfriend, an unsettling feeling slowly creeps up from your stomach and into your chest.
It settles there, making you feel like you're almost choking.
Nothings felt right recently. It's like you woke up one day in a parallel universe where the subtle differences are slowly getting to you.
Work is the same, your friends are the same, so is your family. There's only one thing that's different, and that's Namjoon.
It feels as though he's slowly slipping away from you every now and then. He doesn't hold you in his arms like he used to, or touch you in the same exhilarating way anymore.
He pulls away from you quicker, doesn't want to cuddle.
It breaks your heart. You can practically see a wall being put up between the two of you and yet you have no clue why the wall is being built.
You feel cold.
Lonely.
Your arm slowly slips from under the covers and stops when it reaches where Namjoon should be lying.
Instead of being greeted with warmth and the body of the one you've loved so much for the past two and a half years, the skin of your arm meets cold sheets.
It's been this way for weeks now. Waking up with him absent.
"I needed to go into work early, baby." He'd whisper as his fingers glide up your neck, landing under your chin.
He said this every night. He'd come home, change into sweats and a shirt and peer into your eyes, telling you how busy work is.
How work is the most important thing to him.
Never you.
Realising that you're alone today, once again, you force yourself to go to the kitchen and make breakfast.
"Maybe pancakes will make me feel better," you mumble as you pass the living room. "the fucking pancakes will make me feel more than he does lately."
As you drag your feet across the cold wooden floor, your eyes glance over to the couch which is usually a mess since Namjoon always fails to clean up after himself.
Something shiny catches your eye, stopping you in your tracks. You search for the brightness that almost blinded you just now.
The couch is creme coloured, with white pillows and fluffy blankets strewn across it. You chose all the furniture and accessories for the apartment when you first decided to live together. This was the couch that you've always wanted. It fit into your vision for the perfect home.
A phone lies half hidden under one of the fluffy blankets, the sun must have reflected off of it. You frown, tapping the screen slightly to turn it on, then begin folding the blanket.
The lock screen is a mirror photo of you and Namjoon. This must be his phone, since your lock screen is of him alone.
"He must have been in a rush this morning." You pick the phone up, deciding to set it on the counter.
He might come back for it in his lunch break. He never leaves his phone here.
As you pick it up, the phone unlocks due to him having your face id on his phone. He had taken it off the other week, when you asked him why he told you it was an accident and to add it back.
You don't believe in looking through his phone. You've never done it, never felt the need to. Not even during these few months where something felt different.
The screen unlocks, and although you don't want to go through his phone, curiosity is getting the better of you.
Your face contorts in confusion as a video pops up on the screen. The thumbnail being the couch.  Before playing you check the date of the video at the top of the screen: two weeks ago.
Feeling a little anxious for some reason, you slowly look over at the couch from where you stand. Your eyes quickly darting back to the bright screen. You shrug and press the play button lightly, waiting for the video to play.
And my god, how you wish you never even discovered this fucking video.
The only thing on the screen is the couch for a few seconds, but then it pans to the right and you see hair.
Long, dark blonde hair to be exact. Completely different from your dark brown, almost black locks.
The breath sticks in your throat as a woman begins to be revealed, only her body though, never her face.
Her slim arms and toned back. Camera slowly moving towards her hips and a hand gripping her ass.
The woman's hands grip onto the blankets in what looks like pure pleasure, sounds of bliss leaving her mouth.
Your mind repeating the words, "it better not be him in this," over and over, only to fall silent once the camera switches to the front camera.
Namjoon's face fills the screen. His forehead shining with sweat, teeth biting down on his lower lip as he lifts the camera up, giving you a good view of him happily fucking who ever this is. On your couch.
Your whole world seems to stop as you lock the phone, the images and sounds being too much to handle right now.
Slowly, you set the phone down on the counter and look over to the couch once again. This time it all becomes a blur of colours and light as tears pool in your eyes.
This is why he's been pulling away from you. He's had someone else to devote his time to, someone else to love.
All while he's been the only man to have your heart and devotion for the past two and a half years.
That changes tonight.
This is the last time you'll ever, give your heart away.
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stargazerauraa · 3 years
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currently working on -
Don’t stop | PJM
Not so heavenly | PJM
Sacrifice | PJM
starting soon -
| JJK
@ stargazeraura on twitter, Ao3 and wattpad.
i appreciate asks and i love to hear people’s opinions :)
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