sunshineelusive

[sunshineelusive]

Things that I did not realize were me being non-neurotypical at the time but now I look back and am like, duh, pt. 2

I would fixate on certain movies and watch them over and over and over again.

It was usually in one or two week intervals, but yeah, for some reason I would fixate on specific movies and for a week or two I would have to watch them every day as part of my daily routine.

This mainly occured between the ages of 4 and 10, but when I was 13 I discovered the 2005 Pride and Prejudice with Keira Knightly and actually would wake up at 5 AM for about three weeks straight to watch this movie before I went to school.

Also when I was 13 my brother and I (unfortunately for my parents) discovered the double-length Robot Rampage Backyardigans episode and proceeded to watch it practically on loop during a road trip.

We sang all the songs at the top of our lungs Every. Single. Time.

Other movies I fixated on include, but are not limited to:

Aladdin

The live-action Peter Pan

Wall-E

Kung-Fu Panda

Tinkerbell

Almost Any Barbie Movie, but especially Barbie and the Three Musketeers because my brother also fixated on that one and we tended feed each others' fixations

#normal #adhd #actually adhd #actually neurodivergent #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #2005 pride and prejudice #disney movies #barbie movies #the backyardigans #hyperfixation #my parents really were not neurodivergent at all but had two ADHD kids #neither of them had any idea until i was an adult and my brother was a teenager #they were just like whelp this is just what kids are like and proceeded to let us do whatever #i think they kinda wonder what regular kids were supposed to be like now lol

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It's Unfortunate that I happened to be listening to "Unholy" by Hey Violet on loop when I started reading "Gideon the Ninth"

Every time they say the word "unholy" the song starts playing in my head. This would be fine if it were said about Harrow and/or Gideon more.

Unfortunately, it is most often used in reference to that bastard Silas Octakiseron and his too-good-for-his-necromancer cavalier Colum for soul-siphoning.

I do not need the lyrics "Don't say it's unholy if I let you come hold me" playing in my head Every Time a 16 year old and a man in his mid 30s do Anything in this fricking book.

Anyways, this has been my Struggle of the day.

#gideon the 9th #gideon the ninth #harrowhark nonagesimus #gideon nav #silas octakiseron #colum asht #i hate my brain sometimes #unholy #both the song by Hey Violet and also literally

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reblog and put in the tags how many of your great-grandparents were alive when you were born

#4 great-grandparents #1 great-great-grandparent #All on my dad's side of the family #They're all Very long lived

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shout out to ace and aro kids who are constantly bombarded with the opinion that sex and romantic love are directly connected to living a happy life.

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I-is that an ADHD thing??

I always thought it was a depression thing (I have both).

My psychiatrist: Sooooo how's your anxiety doing?

Me: I have some subliminal awareness that I am panicking a lot on the inside about all the things I'm supposed to be doing but the apathy is muffling it under a heavy blanket so I have no actual impetus to do anything about it.

genuinely terrifying how adhd will have you be fully aware of the responsibilities you’re neglecting and yet its like you’re being piloted by a super chill hedonistic demon who can’t hear you/doesnt care

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Hot take everyone needs at least one creative hobby to accompany their consumptive ones. I don’t mean just art and writing I mean literally anything where you create something. Embroidery, cooking, knitting, gardening, wood whittling, trap making, needle felting, instrument playing, bug raising, fandom analysis writing, ANYTHING where you do work and can hold the fruits of your labor in you hands. Anything where you MAKE something else.

Something that isn’t a career choice. Something you don’t have to be good at. As long as it brings you joy.

Please get hobbies, they enrich your life.

[sunshineelusive]

Things that I did not realize were me being non-neurotypical at the time but now I look back and am like, duh, pt. 1

Every time my dad and I played Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, I would make us watch the entire title screen cutscene and the little game trailer/intro thing that came after it.

Every. Single. Time.

We 100% that game.

I was like 6 or 7 and if my dad ever accidentally pressed a button to go to the menu screen before the entire cutscene had played through, I would make him go back and watch the entire thing through again.

It got to the point where my dad was like, okay, you get it started, and then he went to the restroom while I booted up the game and watched through the cutscenes.

#neurodivergent #adhd #legend of zelda #twilight princess #actually adhd #actually neurodivergent #neurodiversity #I was a menace when I was a kid

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Been reading The Dreamer Trilogy recently and I just realized "everything i wanted" by Billie Eilish really hits for that series,,,,,

#the dreamer trilogy #everything i wanted #reading #ronan lynch #jordan hennessy #hennessy #bryde #declan lynch #mathew lynch

[sunshineelusive]

So, the ending of TRC is basically implying that Blue, Gansey, and Henry are in a poly relationship where Blue and Gansey are romantically involved and they're both in a QPR with Henry.

#the raven cycle #blue sargent #richard campbell gansey the third #henry cheng #the raven king #trc #polyamarous #polyplatonic #trc spoilers #qpr ship #queerplatonic #yes this is my interpretation #it's glorious isn't it

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Excuse me, I know I do not really have much of a part in this discourse, as I do not use either of the labels under scrutinty.

However, I just got done screaming with my best friend, who is bi, about people saying that being pan is biphobic when it's not, so I decided to make this lovely post, as I am seething with anger at the injustice of it all, and feel the need to scream into the void about my beliefs just like everyone else on this site.

Goodness gracious I'm salty tonight.

First of all:

People understand labels differently.

Yes, pan and bi are two completely different labels. I understand that.

However, a label is not only for others, it is for the person using it. And thus, as labels serve a function for the person using them, we have to understand that sometimes we as individuals prescribe different meanings to labels than the wider community does.

People identifying as pan is not bi erasure. People identify as pan because that feels right to them.

People identify as bi because that feels right to them.

And who are we to turn around and say that their label is somehow wrong, or somehow invalidates another label simply by a person feeling like their label encompasses that aspect of their identity?

I get it, some people hate labels, or specifically microlables.

However, something that must be understood is that labels are a means of understanding and feeling in control of one's own identity for some people.

It is the least we can do to be consciencious of those around us and be respectful of the labels they feel encompass their identity.

There is a difference between identifying as pan and saying a bi individual is simply a confused pan.

Being pan and biphobic is not mutually exclusive.

However

Pansexuality, as a label, is not inherently biphobic.

And please humans

Just in general

Don't be invalidating other people's labels when you know nothing about the person.

I'm ace and aro

Do you know what happens when I tell people my labels and explain what they mean?

"You feel that way now, but you'll find someone eventually!"

Having your labels be completely disregarded and invalidated hurts.

So try and and be respectful of your fellow humans.

Please.

If you got to the end of this post, thank you for indulging my ramblings, and have a wonderful continuation of your existsnce.

#sunshine talks #biseuxal #pansexual #panromantism #biromantism #biphopia #panphobia #I started this post out mad but now I'm just sad #i'm worried i'm going to get a lot of hate for this #but it's what i believe and i'm tired and i just want people to be nice to each other #please

[sunshineelusive]

I second this so much. I teach Pre-K part-time and while my kiddos are resilient, it's still heartbreaking when one of them says they don't feel well, and then all the other kids want to go comfort them, and I have to tell them to stay away while my co-teacher or I checks their temperature and makes sure that they understand why the other kids have to stay away from them and can't give them hugs.

My co-teacher will get out the extra strong cleaning supplies and start the process of disinfecting the legos and the kids will be like, what are you doing? And she goes, making sure the Rona doesn't visit us.

It's just So Much that we didn't have to deal with or go through when we were kids and it really helps the kiddos to just be around and able to talk to another person about anything and everything.

To ask about anything and everything.

Because a lot of them are confused.

And a lot of them understand more than they should have to.

I know it's tough for everyone but please, please be extra nice and patient with little kids right now. they're going through so much, we're not going to understand the amount of worldwide trauma these kids have for years, but for context: a five year old who has memories only from the age of three has spent HALF their conscious life under quarantine. they haven't interacted with other kids in person. they've only seen people with masks. they've spent all this time in a home with distressed adults and little stability without truly understanding why. for a massive chunk of their conscious life. so if a kid comes up and talks to you just let them have your attention for a few minutes. don't snap at a child crying or having a meltdown in public, and don't make the parent feel guilty. it's not that difficult to be kind.

#kids #pre k #covid 19 #thinking about this just makes me so sad #I just want the kiddos to be okay #:(

[sunshineelusive]

The four Raven Boys represent the four sexualities: Gay, Straight, Bi, and Dead

#the raven cycle #richard campbell gansey the third #adam parrish #ronan lynch #noah czerny #I know I've been spamming Sanders Sides posts recently #but I've been reading The Raven King and needed to shout about that too #i'm sorry y'all sjdkfjncmxkckh

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Oh, interesting! You went a lot more in depth than I did ahdkdkdjmcjg

In doing the instinctual stacks for each of the sides, I think I understand more where we differ in terms of how we see their personality types.

Here:

Patton: SO/SX/SP

Logan: SP/SO/SX

Roman: SP/SO/SX

Virgil: SP/SO/SX

Janus: SP/SX/SO

Remus: SX/SO/SP

Okay, I believe we match with Patton, Logan, Virgil, and Remus.

Janus is the one I really want to go into here because I feel like the instinctual stacks illustrate where we see his character differently.

You seem to see Janus as a mediator, the balance. You're saying that his dominant instinct is self-preservation, of course, but that his relationships with others is his second drive.

I would argue otherwise.

I believe Janus and Patton are the ends of a spectrum with Roman and Remus in the center and Logan midway between them and Janus and Virgil in between them and Patton. In my opinion, Janus doesn't particularally care about the group dynamics. He is ultimately selfish (not derogatory). He utilizes his second instinct, SX, as a way to insure SP, as can be seen by how he singularly picks out one side in each video he is featured to coerce to his point of view so he can get what he wants/needs. For example, in SvS, Janus focuses all his attention on Roman and is rather dismissive, or doesn't really take pains to maintain the group chemistry of the other sides, as seen by how he benches Logan, puts Virgil out of the way, and is mostly dismissive of Patton.

As far as Roman, SvS and Can Lying Be Good demonstrate that Roman's first instinct is himself. His dominate instinct is to do things that perpetuate creativity, because he is creativity. However, unlike Janus's SP/SX which work together, Roman's top instincts, SP/SO, are constantly battling. This is especially seen in SvS where Roman wants to go to the callback, he wants to do the thing that perpetuates himself, fulfills his purpose. But his need to comply with the social order and maintain his relationships, his instinct to perpetuate his relationships with others, causes him to feel guilty for his dominant instinct, and thus comply with the demands of the majority of the group.

That's just my opinion though. I think your way of interpreting them is completely valid as well! I just like to talk about characters aksjdjdkcnfnnf.

Thank you for your insight, this was fun to consider!

Sanders Sides Enneagram HCs:

So, I know I’ve already done one for Janus, but I figured the rest out and figured I would just compile it into one post.

Patton: 2 wing 1

Logan: 5 wing 6

Roman: 3 with balanced wings

Virgil: 6 wing 5

Janus: 8 wing 7

Remus: 7 wing 6

So yeah! These are my hcs. Let me know what you think or if you would like me to explain any and/or all of them!

#patton sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #sanders sides #enneagram #sanders sides hc #instinctual stacking

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The Self-Care Snek reminding you to take your medication. It's there to help make you feel better.

I've started taking medication recently and realized this would be a good thing to remind people to do. I tend to forget unless I have someone to remind me or I have a timer set. So if you struggle to remember to take your meds, try setting an alarm on your phone or on something like Alexa to remind you.

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I want a fic where janus finds patton, and Pat's just like,, falling apart.

Patton has been trying so so hard to take care of everyone, and be enough for everyone, that he's pushed himself past his limits.

And now he's breaking, falling apart. He's try so very hard not to, but he is.

Example- him insisting that everything is fine, even though he's shaking, pale and the occasional tear slips out, while he washes the dishes.

And Janus finds him and is just like " oh honey, baby, sweetie. Pls stop. Come rest pls." And jan knows patton won't do this for him self, so he makes it sound like that it's for him

" ah pat, I've been haveing a horrible time focusing reading, so if you could just sit beside me while I do, that would be ever so helpful."

*tucks pat in on the couch*

"I'm trying a new type of tea, but i can't seem to remember if i put the suger in yet. Would you be a dear, and have a cup so i know if its sweet enough."

*hands pat warm cup of tea that is just the right amount of sweet*

" oh I've been haveing such terrible insomnia, if you could just lay down with me for a few minutes, until I go to sleep that would be so nice"

*tucks pat in for a nap wt him*

....

I want them to take care of each other..

They're both stupid, and they both hide things and lie, but they are trying..

#i love this #hurt/comfort fics are my jam #this is so Soft #OP you are a gift

[sunshineelusive]

Sanders Sides Enneagram HCs:

So, I know I've already done one for Janus, but I figured the rest out and figured I would just compile it into one post.

Patton: 2 wing 1

Logan: 5 wing 6

Roman: 3 with balanced wings

Virgil: 6 wing 5

Janus: 8 wing 7

Remus: 7 wing 6

So yeah! These are my hcs. Let me know what you think or if you would like me to explain any and/or all of them!

#sanders sides #hcs #sanders sides hc #roman sanders #janus sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #remus sanders #enneagram

[sunshineelusive]

Today I was making a yellow aesthetic moodboard for my friend and I suddenly had the thought-

Cottagecore Janus?

And from that thought my brain went to-

Moceit AU where Janus is a CEO of a big company and Cottagecore Patton runs a coffee/tea/flowers/art place in an area Janus wants to buy out and tear down for his company?

Several of Janus's employees have gone to Patton's cafe to offer him ridiculous amounts of money to give up the deed to the building.

All have left with flowers, a travel mug full of tea, or a cute piece of local art, but no deed.

Janus decides if he wants to get anything done he has to do it himself and makes a trip to Patton's cafe.

He walks in, instantly sneers at all the natural decor and flowers and general aesthetic of the place and then his eyes snag on the man behind the counter

His back is turned but he's wearing a simple blue dress with self-done embroidery. A yellow apron is tied behind his back with a bow, and he has forget-me-nots woven into his light, curly hair which looks so, so soft that Janus wants to--

And then the man turns around and smiles at Janus with a softness and beauty never before directed towards him and Janus is gone.

Enemies to friends to lovers but the pining is strong with this one, friends.

I can't get enough money to buy a new computer soon enough so I can actually write again.

#sanders sides #patton sanders #janus sanders #moceit #patton x janus #cottagecore #cottagecore!Patton #CEO!Janus #enemies to friends to lovers #enemies to lovers #why do all my good ideas come when I cannot write #i'm going insane #alternate universe