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xtruss · 12 days

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20 Delightful Idioms From Around The World! Idioms Like Mandarin’s ‘Take Your Pants Off To Fart’ Make No Sense To English Speakers—At Least, Not To English Speakers Who Haven’t Read This List.

— By Lorna Wallace | April 16, 2024

Languages around the world have their own strange idioms. Bubaone/Digital Vision Vectors/Getty Images

Idioms are by definition non-literal, but native speakers of a language rarely think about just how nonsensical these sayings can sometimes be. For instance, using the cat’s pajamas—a phrase popularized by flappers during the Roaring Twenties—to describe something as amazing doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. But English isn’t alone in having idioms that sound delightfully bizarre; here are 20 examples from languages around the word.

To slide in on a shrimp sandwich // Swedish

Thinking about the immortality of the crab // Spanish

Take your pants off to fart // Mandarin

In the whale’s ass // Italian

No one becomes an unbeaten bishop // Icelandic

One’s shoes are thrown to the rooftop // Turkish

Don’t push granny into the nettles // French

You don’t know the letter ‘giyeok’ even after putting down a sickle // Korean

Chase away fright with a bladder of peas // Afrikaans

There are owls in the bog // Danish

Lid shut, monkey dead // German

Throw your rifle in the rye // Czech

A handful of shit is better than a handful of fart // Thai

Take the little horse out of the rain // Portuguese

The fence is not made of sausage // Hungarian

Should I sniff my nails? // Greek

I’m neither the top of the onion nor the bottom // Persian

Don’t let your daughter-in-law eat fall eggplants // Japanese

You are a radish from which field? // Hindi

To show someone where the crayfish are wintering // Ukrainian

1. To slide in on a Shrimp Sandwich//Swedish 🇸🇪

In Sweden, one popular idiom references a shrimp sandwich. Bortonia/DigitalVision Vectors/Getty Images

Meatballs are probably Sweden’s best-known cuisine around the globe (thanks, IKEA!), but this Swedish expression involves a slightly higher-class food. Att glida in på en räkmacka is used to describe someone who hasn’t worked hard for the things they have or what they’ve accomplished. So, for example, some nepo babies could be said to have slid in on a shrimp sandwich.

2. Thinking About the Immortality of the Crab//Spanish 🇪🇸

In Spanish, one idiom considers a crab’s lifespan. Redlio Designs/DigitalVision Vectors/Getty Images

In Spanish, pensando en la inmortalidad del cangrejo is a poetic way to say that someone is daydreaming. Crabs aren’t immortal, of course, which simply adds to the whimsical quality of the phrase. Other languages have their own versions of this mind-wandering idiom: In Polish, the expression is myśleć o niebieskich migdałach, which means “you are thinking about blue almonds.”

3. Take Your Pants Off to Fart//Mandarin 🇨🇳

One Mandarin idiom references flatulence. Borisz/Digital Vision Vectors/Getty Images

Although this Chinese idiom about flatulence is probably best left unsaid in polite company, it’s a hilariously evocative way to describe someone doing something pointlessly over the top. Tuō kùzi fangpì (脱裤子放屁) is what’s known as a xiehouyu (歇后语), a shortened witticism. There are two parts to the saying, with the first being idiomatic and the second providing an explanation. In the case of taking your pants off to fart, the rationale is that it’s an unnecessary action, which in Mandarin is duōcǐyījǔ (多此一举). As with English equivalents—for example, speak of the devil and he shall appear—it’s usually not necessary to say the second part.

4. In the Whale’s Ass//Italian 🇮🇹

An Italian idiom considers a whale’s posterior. Malte Mueller/fStop/Getty Images

Another butt-related idiom that comes in two parts is Italy’s in culo alla balena, which literally translates to “in the whale’s ass” and is comparable to saying “break a leg” in English to wish someone good luck. The respondent must then reply “speriamo che non caghi,” “let’s hope it doesn’t shit”—otherwise it’s bad luck. A less vulgar alternative is in bocca al lupo, “into the wolf’s mouth,” which is most commonly answered with crepi, “may it die.”

5. No one becomes an unbeaten bishop // Icelandic

Looking to say “no pain, no gain” the Icelandic way? You’ll want to use enginn verður óbarinn biskup, which means “no one becomes an unbeaten bishop.” This idiom is supposedly a reference to the medieval-era Icelandic Bishop Guðmundur Arason, who is said to have faced a lot of hardship on the road to his religious position.

6. One’s Shoes are Thrown to the Rooftop//Turkish 🇹🇷

One Turkish idiom involves shoes on a roof. Bortonia/Digital Vision Vectors/Getty Images

If you want to say that someone has fallen out of favor in Turkish, use the idiom pabucu dama atılmak. The story goes that during the Ottoman Empire, if a shoemaker was judged to have crafted an inferior product, the shoes they had made would be thrown onto the roof of their shop to serve as a warning sign to other potential customers—hence the connection between declining popularity and shoes on roofs.

7. Don’t Push Granny into the Nettles//French 🇫🇷

Depending on the context, faut pas pousser mémé dans les orties either means “don’t exaggerate” or “don’t push it.” For instance, say you offer to bring a bottle of expensive champagne to a party—when the host asks if you can bring three instead, you’d be justified in saying “don’t push granny into the nettles!”

8. You Don’t Know the Letter ‘Giyeok’ Even After Putting Down a Sickle//Korean 🇰🇷 🇰🇵

A colorful way to call someone “foolish” in Korean is nat noko giyeokjado moreunda (낫놓고기역자도모른다). Although this idiom may seem nonsensical in translation, to anyone familiar with Hangul, the Korean alphabet, it makes perfect sense. The first letter in the alphabet is giyeok (ㄱ), so it’s considered the most basic letter because it’s the first one that children learn. It also happens to be shaped like a sickle, so if someone doesn’t know giyeok, even when looking at the blade, then they aren’t the sharpest tool in the shed.

9. Chase away fright with a bladder of Peas//Afrikaans

Peas are part of an Afrikaans idiom. JakeOlimb/Digital Vision Viectors/Getty Images

In English, people who scare easily—like Scooby-Doo and Shaggy, for instance—are said to be “afraid of their own shadow.” In Afrikaans, the expression is jy kan hom met ń blaas ertjies die skrik op die lyf jag, or “chase away fright with a bladder of peas.” That’s also not the only Afrikaans idiom to describe scaredy-cats though; another is skrik vir koue pampoen, which means they’re “afraid of cold pumpkin.”

10. There are Owls in the Bog//Danish 🇩🇰

Owls are a part of one Danish idiom. Bubaone/Digital Vision Vectors/Getty Images

The Danish idiom for describing something as suspicious or fishy, der er ugler i mosen, doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, likely thanks to a corruption of the original phrase. It’s thought that this expression started out with a reference to ulve, “wolves,” but that at some point the Jutlandic dialect of this word, uller, was misunderstood as ugler, meaning “owls.” To be fair, although there’s more reason to be cautious of wolves than owls, the canines were actually extinct in Denmark between 1813 and 2012. This phrase has also crossed over into Swedish (att ana ugglor i mossen, “owls in the moss”) and Norwegian (which is the same as in Danish).

11. Lid Shut, Monkey Dead//German 🇩🇪

To say “end of story” in German, simply use the idiom klappe zu, affe tot, meaning “lid shut, monkey dead.” Although klappe can also be slang for “shut up,” in the context of this phrase it means “the story is done” or “that’s that,” rather than being a rude way of telling someone to stop speaking.

12. Throw Your Rifle in the Rye//Czech 🇨🇿

Rocky Balboa would never give up and throw in the towel—a phrase that came from the boxing convention of literally throwing a towel into the ring to admit defeat. In Czech, the saying is hodit flintu do žita, or “throw your rifle in the rye.” The origins of the Czech version of the phrase are less clear than the English version, but Slovenians also say something similar: vržemo puško v koruzo, “throw a rifle into the corn.”

13. A Handful of Shit is Better Than a Handful of Fart//Thai 🇹🇭

This proverb is along the same lines as the English saying “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush,” which advises being content with what you have and not risking it for more. The Thai version, kam khi di kwa kam tot (กำขี้ดีกว่ากำตด), is slightly different, asserting that it’s better to get something—even poop—than nothing. Having said that, if this adage were taken literally, most people would surly prefer a handful of fart (although there are always exceptions!).

14. Take the Little Horse 🐎 Out of the Rain//Portuguese 🇵🇹

One Portuguese idiom involves a horse in the rain. CSA Images/Getty Images

When telling someone to give up on an idea in Portuguese, it’s common to say “tirar o cavalinho da chuva,” similar to the way “don’t hold your breath” is used in English. The origins of this phrase possibly come from when horses were the main mode of transportation. If a guest was invited to stay at their host’s house for a while, they would be told to stable their horse, rather than leaving it out in the elements. These days, the idiom is used ironically to shut people down: If a kid asks to see a scary horror movie, for example, their guardian might reply “take your little horse out of the rain!”

15. The Fence is Not Made of Sausage//Hungarian 🇭🇺

This Hungarian idiom assumes a love of sausage, which is a staple food in Hungary. Nem kolbászból van a kerítés essentially means that something or somewhere isn’t as good as you think it is.

16. Should I Sniff My Nails?//Greek 🇬🇷

In Greek, asking “should I sniff my nails?” has nothing to do with actual nail smelling. CSA Images/Getty Images (Left) One Japanese idiom involves eggplants ... and daughters-in-law. Digital Vision Vectors/Getty Images (Right)

If a Greek person is asked a question that they couldn’t possibly know the answer to, they’ll reply with the expression prépi na miríso ta níhia mu (πρέπει να μυρίσω τα νύχια μου). It literally translates to “should I sniff my nails?” but it basically means “how would I know?” The idiom supposedly comes from Ancient Greek oracles dipping their fingertips into hallucinogenic oil and then sniffing them in order to enter a trance-like state that would apparently enable them to predict the future.

17. I’m Neither the Top of the Onion Nor the Bottom//Persian 🇮🇷

Persians don’t simply say that something has nothing to do with them—instead, they say that they’re man na sar-e piâzam na tah-e piâz (تو سر پیازی یا ته پیاز). Both the top of an onion (the leafy greens) and the bottom (the round bulb) are edible, hence why saying you’re neither means that you’re no use in a situation. The expression can also be turned around on someone else to tell them to stop meddling in something that isn’t their business.

18. Don’t Let Your Daughter-in-Law Eat Fall Eggplants//Japanese 🇯🇵

One story behind the idiom akinasu wa yome ni kuwasuna (秋茄子は嫁に食わすな)—meaning “don’t allow yourself to be taken advantage of”—is that eggplants are particularly good in the fall season, and so such a delicacy shouldn’t be wasted on daughters-in-law, who historically ranked fairly low in the traditional Japanese family hierarchy. The alternative explanation is less cruel: Eggplants are thought to cool the body, which allegedly makes it harder to get pregnant.

19. You are a Radish From Which Field?//Hindi and Urdu 🇮🇳 🇵🇰

Don’t be fooled into thinking that the Hindi and Urdu saying tuu kis khet kii muulii hai (तुमकिसखेतकीमूलीहो)/تُو کس کھیت کی مُولِی ہو is really about where a radish took root. It’s actually used as a derogatory response to someone, along the same lines as “what makes you so special?” or “who do you think you are?”

20. To Show Someone Where the Crayfish are Wintering//Ukrainian 🇺🇦

The Ukrainian way of telling someone that you’re going to teach them a lesson—in a threatening, rather than an educational, way—is показати де раки зимують. (The idiom also exists in Russia: Я тебе покажу, где раки зимуют.) The apparent reasoning behind this phrase is that catching crayfish in winter is an unpleasant job due to freezing temperatures, so anyone forced to do it sees it as a punishment.

#Amazing Facts #Big Questions #Entertainment #Newsletter #MentalFloss.Com #Delightful Idioms | Around The World 🌎

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pinkexpertnerdghost · 8 months

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Watch and Be Amazed!

Lyney x Gn!Reader

Synopsis: As a simple person with a boring job, you set out to travel the nations. You attend a renowned magic show only to be suddenly placed in the shared spotlight with the magical duo.

GIF by @c6jpg

{ i'm still exploring Fontaine but quick heads up on mentioning new locations, dw its spoiler free about the archon quest}

General: SFW, fluffy, magic tricks, Lyney being extra and sneaky, feat Lynette

A/N: i love him. Cheeky little guy with his equally cheeky little grin mulkin cat- I didn’t think I’d like him this much but he easily sneaked himself into my heart already also because I recently got him- I just wanna squish him (endearingly)

“ Voila! And now in its place are our feathered friends taking flight!” The magician exclaimed as a small swarm of doves flew out of his hands. Just seconds ago, he held a gorgeous bouquet of arranged daisies and prisma like roses, complete with adorned white ribbons and lace. The small bush of green and flora had simply vanished and transformed into a mass of white feathers.

Your awes become a droplet in the sea of gasps and astonishment from the people around you . Pushing yourself to the end of your cushy seat, you stare ahead in amazement and curiosity.

Even though you sat some rows away from the front seats, you were mesmerized by the trick. You were certain the bouquet had practically melted and shifted into the cocoon of feathers. At least, that’s how it appeared to your eyes.

Trailing the doves as they flew above the audience, you unconsciously let out a small laugh of joy like that of an entertained child. The doves flew around freely, some reaching high atop the Opera House’s stretching ceiling and some flew closer to the audience barely grazing above their heads.

You had been traveling for weeks, as you were lacking some excitement in your mundane life as a simple shop clerk. It had a well off pay and the owner was kind. Yet every passing day became more boring than the last. Soon enough, the days would weld and mend together in your memory as a tapestry of a lackluster pattern. You were afraid it would overshadow a great portion of your lifetime.

As a shop clerk, you had seen many travelers coming and going, talking about the beautiful sceneries across the rest of Teyvat they have witnessed, varies dishes you’ve never tried before being described as mouthwatering, the wonderful cultures, festivities and traditions people from around this world took part in. It had always left you in a state of entrance and jealousy for them, as they would have the freedom and determination to see the worlds wonders with their own eyes.

Seeing your yearning gaze and saddened expression when the travelers or adventurers left through the front door, your employer had generously given you some vacation time. You were one of your boss’s most dedicated workers, often swooping in for a fellow coworker if they fell ill or couldn’t make it otherwise. You have done more than enough to earn yourself this time off.

And so, you took your life by the rings and were off into the road. Traveling from one nation to the other and to the now where you were. In the seat in one of the most impressive buildings you have ever seen.

From the moment you boarded off the Aquabus; the little guides being one of the cutest beings you’ve ever seen; you oogled and awed in the splendor around you. Fontaine had been one leap of a cultural shock for you. Sure, sometimes you moved boxes of bits and bobs of Fontaine imported trinkets onto shelves, but seeing this much advanced technology was a bit exhilarating as well as a bit imposing

However, something there was something that immediately caught your eye when walking about. On a bulletin board was an array of multicolored posters and newsletter, but the bright red one with a grinning cat in the hat caught your gaze immediately.

“ Come and behold A magical performance performed by renowned Magicians Lyney and Lynette! ”

The names struck a cord in your memory. Ah, that's right! You had heard a great deal about a very specific Magic show in Fontaine. You remembered it being brought up a good number of times back in the shop. The way people would sound excited and how they could barely contain themselves trying to describe a magic trick as best they could.

Since you were in the area you had managed to investigate it and wound up purchasing a ticket to go see.

“ Back to the stage my feathery entourage!! Being in the presence of such a wonderful audience is indeed riveting, but I’m going to need the spotlight back to preform the next trick, haha!” The magician Lyney said with a pleading laugh. The doves seem to have understood them as they all flew back onto the stage. From either side of the giant velvet curtain, the flew behind it disappearing into the shadow.

“ For this next trick, I’m going to need a hand!” He exclaimed while putting his hands on his hips. He then put a hand on his forehead and looked around the area while squinting his eyes. From the right side of the stage came another person. She had on a similar uniform to her twin brother, adorned with teals, blues and grays. It was a counterpart to the reds, pinks, and plum Lyney wore in his intricate performer’s outfit.

Yet they both had the motif of that same toothy grinning kitty you saw tagging the corner’s of the promotional posters.

Lynette had walked behind Lyney and tapped his shoulder twice with a stoic expression. Lyney had turned dramatically around on his heel, immediately stopping his dire search for help.

“Ah, It seems as though Lynette has come to the rescue!” He cheered and with a grateful hand gesture divided the audience's attention to Lynette. She stood there facing the crowd with a curt expression. Lynette seemed to be the polar opposite of her brother. While Lyney was loud, extravagant and energetic, his assistant and sister was quieter, docile and seemed unmoved with the theatrics. However, to you she was as equally impressive as the red Magician.

In an earlier trick where they’d pull objects directly out of flat cards, Lynette had elegantly swiped off a parasol, a tea cup with piping hot tea given the steam, and an adorable hat with that grinning black cat. All while keeping a calm disposition as if she knew everything and anything that was to come. It boggled you how she managed to slip the illustrations to real physical objects.

But then again, the Magicians never reveal their trade secrets.

Lyney tapped his cheek before he spoke again. “It seems as if we will need a little more help to perform this magic trick, wouldn’t you agree Lynette?”

Lynette simply nodded.

Lyney’s shoulders relaxed as he twirled around to face the audience. He held his hands behind his back as he paced back and forth. His eyes never leave the audience.

“ For this trick, It will require three people.”

There were very quiet, almost inaudible murmurs and whispers in the crowd. You paid them no mind and kept your eyes focused on the stage. In your mind, you were guessing how the next trick would go.

Lyney stopped center stage.

“ I can see your enthusiasm and excitement! In that case, I shall pick one person from the crowd who will help Lynette and I out!” He said with a jovial grin. His cat-like eyes scanned around the crowd. After this, many people kept their eyes on the Magician scoping out for an available assistant.

Seeing as you weren’t in the first row or a local, you have settled that your chance of being picked was slim. So instead of paying attention to the main stage and spotlight, you turned your head from side to side. Envisioning the lucky person who would be fished out of the ocean of filled seats. Perhaps it would be the beautiful woman with quite the attractive headpiece sitting a row down from you. Or maybe, it would be the little boy three five seats to your left practically bouncing in his seat chanting to let it be him.

The choice could be anyone but yourself.

“ You my dear! Could you help Lynette and I out with this trick?” Lyney’s voice resounded once more.

Your eyes squirted suddenly as a bright source of light was now trained above you. Sinking back onto your seat, you turn to face the stage.

Those cat-like lilac eyes stared directly into your own [E/C] ones. Alongside with the deep royal purple eyes belonging to his assistant Lynette. Looking around and behind, you noticed the two people beside you glance at you with slight surprise.

You pointed at yourself just to make sure. You didn’t know if you made a face with the sudden surprise of the spotlight, but Lyney chuckled in amusement.

His eyes crinkled slightly as he nodded, his hair bobbing along with his head and sturdy hat. His laughter made you feel a bit fuzzy in the chest. Maybe you were just starstruck.

“ Yes you. If it is alright, could you perhaps follow the staff by your row to escort you on stage?” He said, extending a hand to a person in a theater mask and green vest standing at the end of the row. His lilac eyes never left you.

It was hard to say, but you could assume he was silently communicating with you. His soft eyes were patient and still, unlike his theatrical energy he demonstrated earlier.

‘ Are you okay with this? ‘

He didn’t mind the sudden recess of silence, in fact it only added to the build up to the magic trick. It wasn’t long until you blinked, breaking yourself out of your star-stricken surprise.

You nodded at Lyney, to which he gripped the brim of his hat quietly tipping it to you with a satisfied grin.

“ Very well, please follow the staff down the aisle while we set up on stage!”

After squeezing down your row and next to the staff member with the mask, you followed them as they led you towards the stage. The staff member was kind enough to guide you through the dimly lit place, your eyes were examining the person. Their mask is what stuck with you, you’ve never seen anything like it. It was both beautifully crafted yet it gave you a small chill of danger and mystic. It was probably made for this purpose of the show.

No elemental magic of those who wielded visions, but instead a tightrope thinly strung between reality and fantasy.

The stage was elevated but after climbing up the stairs onto the polished stage. Lyney beckoned you to come up next to him. You shuffled closer, both your hands behind your back fidgeting in a nervous manner.

The spotlight was now back onto Lyney and Lynette and now you as well.

“ Might I know the name of the new assistant I’ll be working with temporarily?” He asked as he now faced you. Lynette came to his side, her violet eyes glazing over you with relaxed attentiveness.

You felt your mouth become a bit dry. “ I’m [Name].” You spoked normally.

Lyney bowed, taking off his tophat bringing it close to his chest.

“ It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, dear [Name]” He bounced back up, flipping his hat back onto his head.

You shifted on your foot and that seemed to have caught the attention of the magical duo.

“ Hmm, are you perhaps nervous?” He asked. “ It is quite alright. Whenever the light is trained on you, the feeling of stage fright comes at you like the onslaught of tidal waves.” He said, in a non projecting voice. He still sounded loud enough for the audience to hear, but his words weren’t exaggerated in a way to make you feel queasy. Instead, it sounded like he was cheering you on, a little push of confidence he would share with you.

Maybe you were overthinking it. He is a performer so its his job to turn up the charm towards the audience.

Lynette had subtly sent you a reassuring little smile. She walked up next to you and stood by you now.

“ Perhaps, you may just have some butterflies in your stomach. It happens to the best of us!” He spoke. His gloved hand came up to you.

“ May I have what’s in your side pocket?” His eyes shifted down to your right pocket. Confused, you reach down into your pocket and feel around. There was a smooth and flat object that you didn’t remember having there, so you slipped it out.

In your hand was a playing card. It wasn’t an ordinary playing card. It looked to be one of the card props that belonged to the two Magicians. Figuring he wanted it back; without you having the faintest Idea of how it got there in the first place; you handed it to him.

He grabbed the card and raised it up to his face to inspect it.

“Aha! Just as I thought. You had made a bundle of these pesky little butterflies.” He slipped the card back to his palm. He twirled back to face you with a triumphant smile as if he’d found a treasure chest. “ Fear not, for I will rid you of this troubling kaleidoscope!”

With that being said, he tossed the card over your head.

Or at least, a zipping card was what you were expecting.

Instead, a small little tornado of little butterflies escapes from Lyneys hand. They fluttered around you in a tunnel-like pattern.

Completely forgetting about the audience, you craned your hand up and stared in awe. Looking closely, some butterflies had little trails of violet shimmer. The butterflies themselves didn't seem to be real butterflies. On some you managed to see the wings to be made out of the back of playing cards.

The butterflies dispersed out onto the crowd, until each one vanished without a trace.

“Now then, are you feeling better?” Lyney asked, both hands on his hips.

You nodded with a smile on your face. The small pit of nervousness was now reduced to a grain.

“Wonderful! And, it seems as if you have magic in you yourself, what luck!” Lyney exclaimed. Lynette all the while silently side eyed her brother and his antics.

“Now then if you may follow Lynette, she will guide you to this next trick or a trio.” he smiled.

Lynette had raised a hand to you in order to take it. You complied and took her hand as she led you behind the curtain.

“ Are you okay? I know Lyney can be a bit over the top, but if at any point feeling bad, let us know.” Lynette spoke calmly to you.

“ I’m alright now. I just wasn't expecting to get picked.” You said honestly.

Lynette nodded. “ It's like that for most who get chosen.”

She guided you towards a little box which was decorated with a little four pointed gold star in the center. The box was relatively small, reaching from the ground to knee level

“ When they take the box you’ll have to stand on it. I’ll stand in my own box next to you. Just follow Lyney’s instructions.” She said,

“Also, brace your feet after the curtain falls.”

You listened closely and nodded.

“Alright. Got it.”

Lynette hummed.

Behind the big red curtain you heard the crowd laugh and clap.

“And now for the anticipated trick, shall I have my two assistants step back into the light?”

Lynette and you came back onto the stage. Again in the limelight, you noticed the two boxes parallel to each other.

“ For this next trick, both my assistants shall switch their places before your very eyes.” Lyney spoke calmly.

“But wait a moment. This is a simple trick one could accomplish by simply walking across the stage to the other boxes. This trick is sounding more like a runway show than magic.” Lyney sighed in defeat. In a quick one eighty mood switch, Lyney perked up and raised his chin high.

“ But no, dear spectators in the crowd. This trick shall be done with neither of my assistants leaving the confines of their one by one area!” Lyney exclaimed, flapping his little side cape in the process.

Lynette turned and gave you a look, a very specific look. You took it to get on the box and you walked over to the one closest to you.

“ Now then, a little tent shall fall on top of both of them. Switching places without jumping, walking or running is a lot more exhausting than it sounds.” As soon as he said that, above you began to descend a festive red tent.

It slowly descended until the dark velvet of the inside tent obscure your vision of the crowd and them of yourself. You could only hear the echoing voice of Lyney as the crowd was now fully silenced in anticipation.

The words of Lynette rang in your mind, as you looked down to your feet.

“ For you see, the most can happen within the blink of an eye.”

You felt the box underneath you dip slightly. Barely enough time to even gasp, you had fallen through the solid box beneath you. Quickly you bent your knees and positioned yourself to be able to absorb the momentum of your fall.

Once landing soundly, you looked up to see how you had fallen. In the ceiling was a rectangular indentation of a trapdoor.

You heard a ‘psst’ to your right. There you say Lynette making a quick hand gesture to switch places; motioning to you and the spot beneath her feet.

Speeding over to her, you took little but key notice in your new surroundings. The walls were barren, the air had slight dust, and light from the stage lights barely made it through the miniature nooks and crannies of the floorboards. You were underground.

Once getting to where lynette last stood, you waited. Looking around where you stood there was a small ladder behind you.

Suddenly a similar trap door like the one where you initially stood, swung open.

Taking this as a new signal, you climbed onto the ladder trying to make as little noise as you could. Once above ground, the trap door that was once open shut, making the ground below you stable enough to stand on.

“ As such, a walk across this stage could be reduced down to none!”

You heard a harsh step down onto the floor followed by a snap of a finger.

The tent around you was pulled back up at lighting speed leaving you stunned in place. The crowd ahead was looking back and forth between the place where you once were and to where you are now. A roar of whistles and claps was heard.

Looking to where you once were, stood Lynette waving at the crowd. The same stoic expression on her face.

Lyney came skipping up to your side.

“ How are you feeling dear [Name]? I hope you aren't too disoriented by the little trip you took.”

You looked at him, he had a proud grin on his face. The light shown down was overshadowed by the brim of his top hat. And yet, his eyes and distinguishable teardrop mark on his right cheek made you feel all sorts of flustered all over again.

Then again you noticed just how packed the Opera is. You had forgotten momentarily that there was an audience. The showers of cheers came down like a bolt of lightning striking the still water.

“I’m fine, just a bit perplexed.” You shook your head trying to process what had just happened in what felt like a fraction of a minute.

“ Oh my, it seems you may have been slightly shaken when vanishing from one spot to the other.” He hummed.

“ That's it! I shall make it up to you! But I’ll have to get you back to your original box.” He said tapping his curled up hand onto his open palm.

He stood up onto the tips of his toes, as from your height atop the box managed to put you at a larger distance from him. Figuring he might tell you something , you leaned down slightly.

“ When the tent drops on you once more, close your eyes. Don’t open them until you hear me say, Hat. Trust me, I’m sure this trick will put a blinding smile on your face.” He said quietly, a hand placed by his mouth blocking it from the audience ahead.

You weren’t sure what he meant or what would happen but somehow, you trusted him. Maybe it was his pretty face, charming personality, or simply because a famous and professional performer.

A little breathy chuckle escaped him before he leaned away and waltzed back to the front and center. Something about him smiling and laughing made your heart almost pop.

You internally battled these pestering thoughts; You were just starstruck! A celebrity crush, don’t let it get to you. Especially in front of a massive crowd watching your every move!

You took some short breaths in and faced ahead onto the wall behind the audience. You didn’t want to let this confusing feeling consume you.

“And now, one final trick before our amazing temporary assistant bids adieu.” He sighed. From his chest he pulled out a white handkerchief he blew into. The crowd laughed at his little mopping gag.

“ It was a pleasure to have you on stage with us, [Name].” He said before swiping the used hanky away. It disappeared into red and white sparks into the air.

The tent above you descended once again, and the moment you found yourself in the shaded confines you closed your eyes. You could only listen to what was happening around you.

“Now then, why don’t we send our new friend off with a grand finale?”

The surrounding noise of the crowd murmuring came through as buzzing. You felt the ground once more give out underneath you. Holding in your breath you prepared for what may have come next.

Something, or someone caught you. You felt the sudden mass underneath you, and suddenly there was a small breeze passing into your face. Your eyes squeezed shut the entire time.

Suddenly, you felt your feet touch a solid floor. You stood up, the person letting you go as you stabilized yourself.

“ And so, they shall appear where they once were at the drop of a hat!”

You heard it. Cracking open one eye you see once again a velvet curtain of a tent. Blinking, adjusting to the light, the tent was pulled up.

This time there was some cheer for a few seconds. The sudden Huhs? And murmurs slowly began to take a hold of the audience. Curious as to the mood shift you look around you.

Lyney, no longer wearing his signature tophat that had been left sitting on the floor.

Where Lynette was supposed to be, she was no more. Instead, there was a small top hat lying top down on the box.

Lyney, surprised, went over to the hat.

“Lynette? Oh Lyneeette? Where did you vanish off to?” He took the hat and looked inside of it, as if his sister were inside the hat.

You were slightly puzzled at first. Where on Teyvat could she have gone? Your doubts were suddenly clouded by an obvious truth.

This had to be part of the show.

So you kept your eyes on the male twin, anticipating what he will do next.

Giving up in calling out to his sister, still holding onto the small hat in his hands, he walked over to where you stood.

“ It seems that she won’t show herself unless we make her appear out of this hat. [Name], if you would.” He then extended the small hat in my direction.

You delicately grabbed the brim area closest to you. Lyney let go, and you looked inside the empty hat. The material felt slightly heavy but the intricate seamless pattern woven into the pitch black fabric made you closely look at it.

You heard a small tapping noise, you looked back to the magician as he tapped the back of his hand. Putting two and two together, you quickly flip the hat upright.

You mimicked Lyney’s motion on the hat’s top about three times.

The first tap, colorful feathers floated to the ground.

The second tap, petals of flowers twirled on their way down.

The final tap, a deck of prop cards spilt out and crashing against the stage floor with clicks and claps.

“Looks like she isn’t in there.” Lyney quipped. You were once again thrown into utter confusion. The comedic way the crowd gasped after one object came after another object from the empty hat. At some point the reactions of surprise slowly turned into snickers and giggles of amusement.

Lyney placed a hand on his hip and scratched his chin. “ Try doing it again with the hat upside down. Maybe, a different approach will convince her to come out.”

So, you turn the hat over. Sneakily taking a small peak inside, and as you suspected it was empty.

How does he pull these things off? Seriously! How?!?

Replicating your previous action, you tapped the brim.

A small puff of smoke and confetti made you step back. Out of the hat a cat sprung!

Or was it a cat?

It was a big cat face attached to a coiled spring.

It was cute! It had the signature toothy grin the show’s mascot had, yet it had it turned upside down in a frowny face. One eye has a teal star and the other has a teal teardrop. It even had a little bowtie making it a very fashionable cat creature.

It turned to face you as its ears twitched. You’re eyes locked with its own strange one and you found yourself in a staring contest….with the giant cat head on a spring of all things.

“ Oh dear, it looks like Bogglecat seemed to have answered instead of Lynette” Lyney laughed.

Tip Tap Tip Tap

You and Lyney turned to face Lyney’s hat that had just shook slightly on the floor.

Poof!

The hat had blasted up into the air and below the hat there was Lynette. Slightly obscured by the turquoise colored fog.

“ Here I am.” Lynette spoked up.

Grabbing the brim of Lyney’s hat she tipped it and bowed before the audience. The audience clapped and some people even stood up from their seats.

The Bogglecat in the hat leaped from your hands and jumped over towards the spotlight where Lynette was. Lyney came running over to you and carefully grabbed your now free hand.

“ C’mon, the audience is waiting for the final bows.” He hushed at you with that permanently charming smile of his. His pale blonde hair bounced along as he urged you to join him and his sister. With no reason to refuse, you ran along with him. You felt the corner of your mouth curl up in a giddy smile. Now unafraid of the public you stood in the bright lights with your chest held high.

Lynette tossed Lyney’s hat into the air, landing it perfectly on Lyney’s head. The cat in the hat jumped right into Lynette's hand. Once she caught it, she twirled it around in her hand like a skilled juggler. The cat suddenly vanished inside the hat, and the small hat now was held against her head.

“ This has been Lyney and Lynette’s Magic show! Thank You all for watching!” The three of you held hands; Lyney at the center, Lynette to his right, and you to his left. Lifting your hands up, you three did a dramatic bow. This audience applauded one final time for the performance. It was the loudest applause you had heard during your time in the Opera Epiclese.

Slowly people had started to leave the theater, with the front entrance reopened many people had started to trickle out into the lobby. This left fewer and fewer people in the main room, the Opera house becoming

You were preparing to step down the stage staircase until you heard someone call out to you.

“ Wait, [Name]! If you could spare a moment?” It was a voice you had quickly grown familiar with.

The top hat with the plum colored ribbon, the pale blonde tuffet that covered just above his right eye, and that teardrop marking beneath the same right eye. Lyney came speedily towards you, his sister Lynette following a bit behind. Unlike him, she calmly walked over and that stoic expression on her face felt a bit more done than what you had seen.

“Hm? What is it Mister Lyney?” You stopped and asked politely. Looking over the male twin you glanced at his sister “Miss Lynette?”

“That was a splendid performance you made on stage! You went along just swimmingly with our act.” Lyney gushed.

Once again you felt flustered. Out of all things, a professional magician complimenting you on a magic trick? You scratched your cheek.

“ I was just following you guys. Really, if anyone should be taking compliments it is you two!” You spoke with enthusiasm. “ The way Miss Lynette pulled out the items right off the cards, or when you made my ‘ stomach butterflies ‘ disappear. It really was a treat to see!” You felt your face getting a bit warmer as you continued to spill your excitement into words.

“ This will definitely be a nice memory I won't be forgetting any time soon!”

Lyney chuckled and even Lynette’s eyes grew slightly larger with interest.

“ You’re too kind!” Lyney chuckled, his pale face getting the slightest bit pink in the cheeks. “ I don’t believe I’ve seen your face in our crowd before. Are you maybe a tourist coming from a distance to see our show?”

You nodded. “ I am as a matter of fact. I don’t get out much to say the least.” You confessed.

“ I’ve heard about your magic show for some time now, traveling groups have brought it up time and time again. Fontaine was my next destination so I took the opportunity to come see it myself.”

You smiled gently. “ This was my first legitimate magical performance I had the fortune of attending. Not to mention getting randomly selected to participate! Thank you for the fun time, Mister Lyney and Miss Lynette.”

Lyney and Lynette listened with great interest.

“ I see. Thus, making this show a memorable experience for you was all the more rewarding then.” Lyney took off his hat and brought it to his chest.

“We are both happy to have put a beautiful smile on your lovely face!~” Lyney very gently lifted your hand. Bringing it close to his face, he placed a small almost ghostly peck.

Okay. Now you definitely felt your face may have caught on fire.

Lyney might have noticed your sudden flustered face. The sneaky magician sent a very brief wink with a smile. Not just any smile. This smile had a more feline nature to it; as if he enjoyed seeing such a reaction from you.

He lowered your hand back down, and flipped his hat back onto his head. That cat-like smirk was nowhere to be seen anymore. Innocently smiling at you, he laughed. It sounded slightly nervous.

“ Well, if you will be around Fonaine for a while longer, find us by the Aquabus station. We might just have spare time to show you around!”

Slipping your hand behind your back, you tried to reply to his friendly invitation.

“ Mhm! Aquabus station. Go it!” you spoke in broken segments.

Oh dear, maybe it's time you’d step outside for some fresh air.

“ I think I should get going now. Who knows how long the people traffic is in the lobby now. It was great meeting you. Your cat mascots are cute and now I shall leave” You had begun to word vomit as you were shuffling away.

“ Bye bye!”

Facing away from the magic duo, you speed walk down onto the carpeted floor. Not daring to look back, you heard the sound of an amused giggle and an exasperated sigh.

“ Are you proud of yourself? You almost made them faint with your antics.” Lynette tipped the back of Lyney’s hat. It fell forward and off but he had quickly caught it before it hit the ground.

“ Hey, I just wanted to make evening a little more magical is all. It was the most I can do from withholding them back from leaving"

"Right. And you had to tease them until they were red in the face."

Lyney stared at his sister for a moment, until he thought.

He felt a small hitch of embarrassment in his chest realizing something.

"I- Uh, didn't go to far with the card letter, right?" He nervously asked.

Lynette sighed and shook her head.

"Brother, most of the time you don't even need the spotlight to be over dramatic."

Once you were outside and looking up at the sky. The skies were different in every spot you had been. Here in Fontaine, you could barely see the twinkling stars.

As you sighed contently, you made your way over to the hotel you had planned to stay in for the time. As you shifted you felt something shift alongside you in your sleeve. It was cold and smooth.

Surprised, you dug into your sleeve.

It was a playing card. A prop playing card.

“ I hope you had a magical Evening, [Name]. Meet me by the bench near the potted flowers by the station at noon tomorrow. If you show up, best prepare for I still have tricks up my sleeve that will leave you dazzled! “

There was a little doodle of a toothy grinning cat.

A/N: Should I make a part two? Idk maybe. EDIT: PART TWO HERE

#i wrote fanfiction because I can nothing is stopping me from expressing my sheer love and happiness for this little magic man #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin lyney #genshin lyney x reader #fontaine #lyney and lynette #lyney x reader #lyney genshin #genshin imagines #genshin oneshots #genshin fluff #fluff #genshin fanfic #fontaine siblings #lynette #lyney

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