#‘she’s really into it but you failed the saving throw so when she bites you you get poisoned’

[samandcolbyownme]

Summary: While at a party with friends, you run into your old 'situationship' and things take a turn for the.. good.. or bad? Find out in this weeks one shot!

Inspired by Zayn - Like I Would | not a request

Summary: SMUT18+, strong language, mentions of smoking weed, alcohol consumption, cheating on partner (which you should NEVER do), secret and rough unprotected sex, oral (f rec), hair pulling, biting, scratching, teasing, just filth

Word count: 5.7 | not edited

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"Have fun tonight." Your boyfriend, Theo, smiles, "Call me if you need a ride home."

You lean of the window, pecking his lips with yours, "I will, thank you." You smile and sit back, waving to him at your friend, Kya, backs out of the driveway.

"So." She says with a smirk as she starts to drive, "Seems to be going well, don't you think?"

You shrug, a light blush growing on your cheeks, "You can say that." You shrug, "I mean, these last few months, they've been great, but at the same ti-"

"Don't do that." She cuts you off as she shakes her head.

You look at her confused, "Don't do what?"

"Don't do what you always do. Don't look for things to escape. Theo is a great guy.." she lays her hand over her mouth, muffling her words, "Better than the last."

You laugh as you catch what she says, "Yeah, let's not talk about him." You roll your eyes, trying not to think about him, "Theo is a great guy."

"That - whatever that was.." she blows air, "Situationship.. was an absolute disaster." She tills her eyes, "If I see him, I might just punch him."

"Please. It might knock some common sense into him." You shake your head slightly, "He was just an asshole."

But he wasn't a total asshole the whole time.

You felt like there could have been more, should have been more, but he didn't want labels. He didn't want to 'settle down' as he said.

He treated you like a queen, but only when it was just the two of you.

When you confessed that you were catching feelings, mainly to try and save your feelings, which utterly failed in the end, he turned into someone you never thought he would be.

A ghost, figuratively that is.

You didn't hear from him for weeks after, but conveniently right when word got out that you were seeing Theo, you got a text from him, stating a single, ‘Hey’.

But you ignored it.

You had a good thing with Theo, but at the same time, you weren't feeling the passion, the heat, like you were with him.

You knew it was wrong, but you couldn't pinpoint the exact reason as to why you were suddenly missing him, either.

Maybe because what you and him had was secret?

Maybe because it was mainly about sex, and he was really, really good at it?

Who knows, but you needed to get him off of your mind as soon as possible, especially because you want things to progress with Theo.

"Do you think he'll be here tonight?" You look over at Kya and she shrugs, "Doubt it. He's probably leading on some other bimbo-" she looks at you, quickly following up, "Not that you were or are a bimbo, I just-"

You hold your hand up, "I understand, Ky." You laugh slightly, "But I was for falling for him. I should have known."

"We live and we learn." She parks the car, "Now let's go have some fun." She raises her brows as she pulls the keys from the ignition.

You follow her in through the gate, eyes scanning over the slow growing party.

You smile as you see some of your friends, waving as you dance next to them as you move past to make your way into the house.

"You made it!" Leslie squeals as she runs up to you and Kya, "I'm so glad you're here!"

"Thanks for the invite! We love your parties." You smile and look around. She laughs, "Thanks. I love throwing them."

"I'm going to go get a drink, y/n. You coming?" Kya taps your arm and you look at her, "Yes, please."

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

A few drinks and bit of unwinding later, you're sat on the small couch in the corner with a few friends around you.

"Y/n." Leslie nudges your knee from the floor, "How's Theo?" She smirks and the others lean in to listen.

You smile, "We're good. He’s good.." You take a sip of your drink, almost spitting it back into your cup when you see him walk through the door.

"Shit." You whisper to yourself and quickly look around, composing yourself as fast as you can, "Yeah, he's taking me to dinner on Thursday for our five month anniversary."

"That's so sweet." Leslie smiles and lets out a sigh, "I remember when Chase and I first got together, that honeymoon phase never goes away when you're in love with someone you truly love being around everyday."

You kind of ignore them talking. Your focus was mainly on him. You watch as he walks over to the drink area with his friends, smiling that gorgeous smile and laughing that perfect laugh.

He was such a beautiful work of art, and knowing that you couldn't have it actually kind of hurt even more.

You snap back into reality, reminding yourself that you have Theo, and you really liked Theo.

Not as much as him - stop it.

You shake your head, looking over at Kya to try and figure out what they're talking about.

"Isn't that right, y/n?" Kya asks and you blink, "Sorry." You laugh, "What are we talking about?"

"Someone is feeling the alcohol already." She jokes with a laugh, "We were talking about that show that you recommended us. We all love it so far."

"Good Girls? Oh yes. That show is amazing. I'm sad they aren't coming out with another season, they left it with a cliffhanger and I'm still so mad about it." You laugh, taking a sip from your cup.

You finish your drink and rest your arms in your lap, "I'm going to get a drink, anyone else need one?"

"Yeah get me one please." Kya hands you her empty cup and you nod, "What were you drinking?"

"Just get me whatever you're drinking."

You nod and get up, walking over to the drink section. You pour in some liquor, more in your cup than Kya's, before adding some juice.

"Well, well, well."

You close your eyes, taking a quiet deep breath as you set the jug down onto the counter, "What do you want, Colby."

You stay facing away from him, knowing that if you look into his eyes, it'll all go downhill from there.

You tilt your head, thinking that maybe you should. Maybe now's your chance to finally give him a piece of your mind for hurting you.

"Just came to get another drink." He moves next to you and your eyes move over his hand that's rested on the counter as he pours some alcohol into his cup.

"So hey. What's up?" He turns and you look up at him. He chuckles as he takes a sip of his drink, "It's been a while, I know."

"Glad you're aware of that." You raise your brows, picking up the two cups.

"Alright.." he shrugs, ".. Talking about it really isn't my style, but I th-"

You cut him off, "No. no. I'm not.." you sigh, "I have a boyfriend now, Colby."

"I'm aware." Colby sips his drink, "How is Theo, by the way?"

"He's great, actually. I'm super happy with him." You cross your arms, cups still in hand and Colby raises his brows, "Glad to hear it."

You roll your eyes, "what do you really want Colby?" It doesn't occur to you that you already asked him that until it leaves your lips.

"I just thought I'd see what's up, but.." he walks over to you, "I'll just leave you to think about what I really want while I'm lighting up." He winks, taking a few steps away, stopping to turn, "If you still do that, you know where to find me."

"I stopped." You say loud enough for him to hear him. You turn, walking in the opposite direction, "Right when you broke my heart."

You walk back over to your group and Kya sighs, "I was about to send a search party for you. Jesus, I thought you got lost." She sips her drink, groaning as the alcohol touches her tongue, "So good."

"So what did I miss?" You lean back against the couch and look forward, immediately feeling your stomach flip when you see Colby sitting in the patio chair, directly outside of the glass door with the perfect view of you.

Fucking hell.

You pull your phone out, completely ignoring what the girls are filling you in on as you text Theo, Miss you. Wish you were here.

You rest your phone in your lap, crossing your one leg over the other, "No, I seen Janessa the other day, she definitely looked like she had a ring on her finger."

"See! I wasn't the only one!" Leslie says nudging the girl next to her, "Did it look like a big rock?"

You hold your hand out, rocking it back and forth, "Eh. It was a decent size."

Leslie sighs, "All that money and he couldn't afford a decent ring." She scoffs, "I swear if I don't have a big diamond on my hand when the time comes." She laughs, "Kidding. Kidding."

You laugh slightly, running a hand through your hair as your eyes move up to look at Colby again. His eyes are glued on you as he slowly brings the blunt to his lips, inhaling the smoke as he pulls it away.

You want to look away, but this obnoxiously strong hold he - still - has on you, won't allow it.

He tilts his head back, slowly allowing the smoke to leave his lips.

Your phone vibrates in your lap and you tear your eyes away to look down at it. You smile slightly as you read over Theo's text, Miss you too, baby. How's the party going?

You tap the screen, it's alright, just sitting with some friends, nothing too exciting.

You set your phone down, taking a drink. Kya moves in close to you, "I don't.." she clears her throat, lowing her voice to a whisper, "I don't mean to alarm you, but he's here."

"Who?" You play dumb.

She tilts her head, eyes moving in the direction of Colby, "Mr. Situationship." She mumbles through gritted teeth.

"Shut up." You act surprised, "Where?"

"Patio. Smoking with Sam and the others." She lays a hand on your knee, "Are you okay? Do you want to move? Leave? Whatever you want to do."

You lay your hand on hers, "Ky. I'm fine. Promise."

"If you say so." She mumbles moving away. Her attention is quickly taken away by the song that's playing, "Oh I love this song. Come on. Let's dance."

She finishes her drink, looking at you to finish yours. You down your drink, setting it down before standing up.

You couldn't lie, you were feeling pretty good and there was only one person you really wanted to be around right now - And it wasn't the person answering your texts.

Kya takes your hand, lifting them up as she moves her body to the song with a laugh, "I feel so.. happy right now."

"That's the alcohol, my love." You smirk and dance with her, laughing as she dances back to back with you.

Your eyes move to find Colby, who is still sitting on the patio, only this time, his view is blocked by the wall.

You turn away, dancing with Leslie.

For a few songs, you complete forgot about what you were feeling. You felt happy, free, like you can finally breathe for once.

You walk over to the couch, plopping down as you laugh, "I didn't know how much I needed this."

"You deserve it. You've been working hard these last few weeks, you need time to just relax, or take a few shots and party it up." Kya laughs and you sigh, "Is that you saying you want to take shots?"

"Yes!" She laughs, "Come on!"

You get up, following her to the counter. She sits out a few solo cups, only pouring a little bit of liquid in each before looking around to call over Leslie and the other girls.

You knew you were being watched.

You knew that what you wanted to do wasn't good.

But you wanted to get back at him, show him what he lost. Even though your little black dress does a lot, you still wanted to add to it.

"Here's to those who wish us well, all the rest can go to hell." Kya laughs and you all clink the plastic cups together before downing the shots.

"I know I'm working my way to being drunk because that didn't taste as bad as it usually does." Leslie laughs setting her cup down, "Hit us again, Ky."

Your eyes move from the cups, up across the living room scattered with people. But your eyes know who they're looking for, and they find him almost instantly.

Colby's sitting in the chair, calf rested on his other knee. He taps his cup on the arm rest, tilting his head, knowingly getting under your skin.

"It's cold hearted." You mouth to him subtly, hoping he'd pick it up.

And he did, because he mouths back, "what's cold hearted?"

You raise your finger off of the cup Kya gives you, directing it to him, "You."

You turn your attention back to the girls, sighing as you laugh at Leslie gives the cheers this time. You take your shot, closing your eyes as you breathe out, "You picked the strongest liquor?"

"Why not." Kya laughs and wraps her hand around your wrist, "Let's dance again."

"I have to go to the bathroom, but I'll find you after." You sit your cup down, watching as they push their way through the crowd to get to the center of the dance floor.

You laugh, shaking your head as you look around to find the bathroom. You frown, not knowing where they were so you walk up to a random person, "Excuse me.. do you know where the bathroom is?"

The girl smiles and nods, "Yeah, there's one down here, right over there." She points, "..and then there's another one upstairs, second or third door on the right I think."

You smile, "Thank you!"

She gives you another smile before you walk to the bathroom that's downstairs. You knock and there's a girls voice on the other side, "Give me a second."

You could hear giggling, from here and someone else. You sigh, knowing that it won't just be a minute. You turn around, making your way to the staircase.

You walk up, turning to the right and silently counting the doors in your head, "Please be open." You mumble as you bring your hand up to knock.

Before your knuckles can make contact, the door swings open and to your shock, Colby is standing there with a smirk on his face, "So we meet again. Nice."

"If I can just pee in peace, please. That would be nice." You cross your arms, nervous to make eye contact. Colby walks out, motioning to you that the bathroom is all yours.

"Can we talk when you're done?"

You stop closing the door and you look up at him, "Why?" He stares at you, "Because I have some things I want to say."

"Mm. I'll think about it." You close the door, locking it as soon as it latches shut. You rest your hands on the sink looking at yourself in the mirror.

"What am I doing?" You mouth weakly to yourself.

Seeing Colby again, has opening up a new feeling.

Or, reigniting past feelings.

You sit down to pee, mind racing as to what Colby wanted to talk about. You knew you couldn't be alone with him, that's just an ingredient to the disaster recipe.

As you stand up, moving over to wash your hands. As you stare at the water running over your hands, you smirk slightly as your mind starts to replay the last time you and Colby had sex.

You gasp quietly - Theo. You dry your hands, pulling out your phone to see texts from him.

That sounds exciting.

You alright?

I might fall asleep, but just call me if you need a ride home or not. I'll wake up. I promise.

Your slightly drunken heart sinks a little as you tap the screen, Sorry babe, I was dancing with Kya and Leslie. I'll call you when we're ready to leave.

You drop your phone back into your bag and give yourself one last look before opening the door.

Colby is still there, leaning up against the wall. He looks up at you and smiles.

You roll your eyes, "You're so fucking persistent."

"You weren't saying that a few months ago." He smirks and you shake your head, "Colby.." you pause, trying not to let your newly old feelings take over, "I have a boyfriend."

"I know, you've said that already.." He pushes himself off the wall and walks over, "A few times actually."

You shake your head, "It's late.. I need to go."

"Can we just- listen. I'm wired right now, and I just need - look, I know it's late, but I saw your face and got inspired t-"

"Inspired?" You laugh cutting him short, "What does that even mean?"

"Inspired to tell you how I really feel."

"About what?" You chew on the inside of your lip as you look up at him. He moves his finger back and forth from you to him and you nod slowly, "Right, right. But where was this when I told you I how I felt?"

"I wasn't.. I wasn't ready for something serious." He admits.

"You mean, you didn't want to be-" you put air quotes, "- tied down."

He looks at you, moving closer, "Look.. I-"

"Colby." You take a deep breath, batting his rising hand away from your face, "I can't.. do this."

"Do what, y/n?" He asks, tilting his head as he crosses his arms, "Come back to me?"

"I'm past that." You mumble, "I can't just.. I have a boyfriend, Colby."

"You keep saying." He nods, "I'm not asking to fuck. I'm asking to just talk to you. Let you know that seeing your face tonight completely changed how I- well, how I thought I felt about you."

You feel your heart thump in your chest as you don't know what to say. Your eyes search the floor as you sigh, "I have a boyfriend, I let what we had in the past go."

He purses his lips, "Did you?" He chuckles, "Because what you did down there..." he shrugs, "To me, that looked like you wanted my attention."

"I'm just having fun with my friends." You lie with a shrug, "Thats all."

"Well then.." he drops his hands, stepping back as he motions down the hall, "I guess you're good to go, then."

"Mm, like I said. Cold hearted." You go to walk away but he grabs your arm, pulling you back. You scoff and look up at him, pulling your arm away from him, "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Look. Y/n. This is probably going to sound wrong, but just give me one minute .. I promise it won't last long."

You stare up at him, silently giving him a minute to talk.

He slowly moves his body closer to yours, "if we can't go back, you know, to the day that I just-"

"Ghosted me?" You ask raising your brows and he nods, "I just thought you'd like to know something."

You look up and back to him. You should just walk away. Go find Kya and call Theo, but it's like you're frozen in time.

Nothing matters right now but listening to what Colby has to say.

"What?" You slowly look up at him and a smirk toys with his lips, "I just thought you'd like to know that he won't touch you like I would."

You snap your head back, "what?"

He nods, backing you up slowly into the wall, hands on either side of your head, "He won't love you like I would."

"Does he know your body? Because I don't think he truly does." Colby's finger gently drags down over your collar bone and you close your eyes at the touch.

"He doesn't know your body, he don't do you right." He chuckles quietly as he tilts your chin up to force you to look at him, "He won't, he can't."

"You don't know him, Colby." You snap, "You know nothing about him."

Colby's eyes scan over your face, "I just know that he won't love you like I would." His thumb rubs over your bottom lip, smudging your lipstick slightly, "It's okay to want me."

"I ca-"

"Cause I want you." He cuts you off, "I know you've been thinking it over.. you can't lie about that. I know the way it ended wasn't the best, but when we were together, in bed or watching a movie.. it was good. So fucking good."

You tilt your head away, "But I'm through, Colby. I'm through with it. From what it seemed, you didn't want to give me what Theo wanted to. A possible future, public appearances. Fuck, Colby."

You lay your palms on your forehead, "Just. Stop. Stop waiting my time. Stop messing with my fucking head." You move your hands, looking up at him, "That's what I mean when I said you were cold hearted. You have no idea what you do to me."

You duck under his arm, walking towards the steps as you try and fix your smudged lipstick when you suddenly stop.

Your mind racing a mile a minute as you try not to give in to the bad things you know you shouldn't do.

"He won't touch you like I would."

"He won't love you like I would."

"He doesn't know your body, he don't do you right."

"I just know that he won't love you like I would."

You turn around, marching towards him, "where was this three, four months ago when I confessed my love for you? What's was all of this when I was ready to give everything to you?" You're standing so close to him you can smell the liquor on his breath, "Huh!?"

"I-I wasn't ready then."

"But you're ready now? Or ready when you seen that I was done being someone you can booty call at two am when you're lonely and want to get your dick wet. I see."

He stands there, looking down at you as you continue, "all of this.. he won't do this he can't do that like you could, what the fuck. What the actual fuck Colby."

"It's the truth." He shrugs, "I don't know what you want me to say. I'm not lying about it." His hand brushes up your arm and your heads both snap to the stairs as you hear people coming up laughing.

He quickly pushes you against a door, opening it as he pushes you into it.

You stand there, watching as he closes it quickly and quietly, flipping the lock on the knob, "Does he know how much you like to be worshiped?"

You clench your jaw.

"Does he know about the little spot on your neck that you just absolutely love when his tongue runs over it?" He steps closer to you, "does he know that two fingers slipping slowly in and out of that pussy teases the ever loving shit out of you, but you love it so much you can't help but to just endure it?"

He walks over to you, "Does he know how much you love to be bent over, being fucked from behind as you get told how much of a good girl you are for taking him?"

He walks up, tilting your head up to look at him, "Does he know your coffee order? French vanilla with two cream, three sugar?"

You can feel your heart beating faster as your eyes begin to burn - colby did pay attention to you.

"Or what about the movie you can never get sick of? Does he watch that with you every time you come over just to see you smile and hear that beautiful laugh?"

"Do you want me to keep going?" He licks his lips, eyes bouncing between yours, "Tell me to stop, and I'll stop."

You say nothing, curious as to what else he has to say.

"Does he know what little things turn you on?" His hand slides down, slowly squeezing the front of your neck, "Does he know what you don't like?"

He tilts his head, "Your silence tells me that everything I need to know."

"What do you know exactly?" You ask quietly, eyes moving to look at him.

"Exactly what I said." He walks you back wards a few steps and you knees buckle as they hit the edge of the bed, "He don't touch you like I did. Know your body like I do. He doesn't love you like I did, like I do."

You sit down, Colby's hand still on your neck, "Like I said. Tell me to stop and I will." He leans in, slowly closing the space between you.

You rest your fingertips on his cheek, your breathing is rapid, "Colby.." Your voice is quiet, "I-I.."

You so badly want to say no, but you feel like you physically cant, "How do I know you're not just saying these things."

He doesn't say anything for a few moments, his hand releases from your neck as he moves down to kneel in between your knees, "Why would I remember everything about you, the way you liked to be touch, a simple coffee order.. if I wasn't going to try and get you back?"

"All the months, the days that went by Colby.. I just.." you tilt your head back, the burn in your eyes returning.

"I- I loved you, Colby." You look at him, your hand moving to lay on the front of his neck. He tilts his head back, still maintaining eye contact with you as you squeeze slightly, "Why did you make me fall in love with you if you were just going to leave me?"

He places his hands on your cheeks, cupping your face, "I was scared. I was scared to open up completely to someone. The more time I spent with you, the more I let my fear get the best of me."

"You could have just told me that." You shake your head, "I don't.. I don't understand what made it so hard for you to-"

"I don't know either, okay." He says cutting you off, "But I'm telling you now. Right here." He pulls you in, his lips brushing against yours, "Right now."

You close your eyes, "But Theo.."

"Screw him, he doesn't know anything about you." Colby shakes his head, "But I know you."

You knew he was right.

You also knew that he knew what you wanted to do.

"Our situationship ended in a disaster, Colby." You laugh slightly as you look at him, "Maybe not for you. And then the whole, what was it, oh.." you roll your eyes, "yeah, the whole hey message right when it got out I was with Theo."

"I hated seeing you with someone else."

"Why?" Your eyes meet his and he rubs his thumb over your cheek, "Because I wanted you to be with me, you're made for me."

His words have an effect on you, and not the I'm lying just to get into your pants effect, but the so this is love effect.

"Do you want me to stop?" Colby asks quietly as he lays his hands on your thighs.

You lay your hands on his, "Are you going to ghost me again?"

"Never." He shakes his head, rubbing his fingers over your skin, "Never again."

You cup his cheeks as you spread your legs open slowly, "Prove it."

He's quick to act, pushing your dress up to lay around your hips as you lay back. You bring your legs up and his grips your thigh, using his other hand pull your panties to the side.

He leans in, pushing his tongue into you with a groan.

You gasp, eyes rolling back as you place a hand on his head. Your leg goes over his shoulder, pulling him closer.

You missed how good he made you feel, more importantly, you missed him.

"Colby." You moan out quietly as you look down at him. He locks eyes with yours, staring up at you as his tongue moves in and out.

He leans back, "I missed you so much." He moves up next to you, lying on his side as he leans down to kiss you.

His hand moves down your body as he gently rubs two fingers up and down your slit before slowly pushing them in.

You gasp, gripping the sheets of the random bed under you, "I missed you." Your hand goes to his cheek as his fingers move slow, doing what you love.

"What did you miss?" He presses a kiss to your forehead, "Hmm."

"You." Your breath shutters as he pushes his fingers in as far as they'll go, "Everything."

"Like what, darlin'?" Colby watches you, biting his lip as you roll your hips against his hand. You moan quietly, "all the ways.. you make me feel good."

"If you come back to me, I can do it everyday." He leans down, kissing down your neck, "Any time you want."

Your lips part as his tongue runs over the specific spot he mentioned, earning a gasp from you.

He smirks, "See, I know you."

He pulls his fingers out, bringing them up to your lips. You part them, eyes on his as your tongue swirls around them.

"You're so beautiful." He bites his lip, "Tasting yourself off my fingers."

You smile, tilting your head back. He grips your chin, leaning down to kiss you before standing up to shrug off his jean jacket.

You sit up, pulling the straps of your dress down your shoulders, "what are you layering up for winter or something?"

He chuckles, "I came here for one thing, and it wasn't to party." He winks as he pulls off his crew neck, "..so I wasn't really worried about dressing for it."

Your eyes scan over his bare torso, "What did you come here for?"

He chuckles, tilting his head as he slips his fingers into the band of his matching sweats, "I think you know."

"Do I?" You tease and he steps out of them, walking over to you. He leans down, moving his body over yours as you lay back, "Why don't I just show you."

Your lips part as the tip of his cock pushes up against you, "Don't be gentle."

"That was my next question." He smirks as he rests his arm under your knee, holding your leg up as he slides his cock into you.

Your brows furrow as your nails dig into his shoulder, "Fuck, fuck." You clench around him, earning a groan from his lips, "Fuck, I've missed how you feel around me."

He leans down, connecting his lips to yours as he slowly pulls out. He thrusts back in, quickly picking up a punishing pace.

He kisses down your neck, moaning into it as your nails drag up his back, "Colby.." you whimper, wrapping your other leg around his waist, "Fuck, fuck."

Colby bites your neck, sucking in a mark that you most likely find until later.

"You're made for me." He groans lowly, "You belong with me."

"I belong with you." You moan out as you lay your hand on his cheek, "I love you. I've always loved you."

His lips meet yours as his arm drops your leg, his hand moving to wrap around your neck, "You've always been such a good little slut for me."

You moan at his words, "always you."

He leans up, hands gripping your hips as he thrusts, "Fuck, fuck. Roll over for me." He pulls out and you push yourself over, moving your hips up.

"That's my girl." His hands run over your ass, sliding up to grip your hips as he moves behind you. He lines himself up, thrusting into you slowly as he leans down.

His lips plant kisses on your shoulder and across your upper back to the other, "I'm never letting you go again."

You grip the blanket, pulling as he pushes his cock into you. You whimper, pushing your hips back, "You feel so good."

Colby slides his hand up your back, making a pony tail of your hair take with his hand.

Your mouth opens, eyes rolling back as he pulls your head back more, "such a good girl." He starts to thrust, slow and hard, "Taking my cock so well again."

You moan, squeezing his cock as he brings you close to orgasm, "Close.. s-so close."

"Go on baby, show me how good I make you feel." Colby's voice is low, "Let me hear those pretty sounds."

A string of moans leaves by our lips as he pounds into you, guiding you through your high. His hand slips around, tightening around your neck, "that's it, baby."

He nips your ear, "So fucking good." He rests his forehead against your head, "You're gonna make me cum."

He leans up, bringing a hand down to smack on your ass. He runs his thumb over the forming red hand print, "Fuck, fuck."

He thrusts grow sloppy, quickly slowly down as you feel him twitch inside of you. 

It's quiet, all but the sound of heavy breathing.

Colby finds something to clean up with, walking over to gently wipe you off, "Are you okay?" He helps you sit up and you smile, "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"I didn't mean with us.. I mean.." he purses his lips and your eyes go wide, "Oh fuck, Theo."

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

Thank you for reading! As always, let me know how you liked it!

Love you all! 🖤

Likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

#samandcolby-ownme #sam and colby #sam and colby one shots #colby brock #dirty one shot #colby brock dirty imagines #colby brock one shots #dirty colby brock #colby brock one shot #colby brock fanfic #Colby Brock smut #colby brock smut one shot #colby brock dirty one shots #colby brock x reader #Colby Brock x reader smut #dirty colby brock oneshots #dirty one shots #smut #smut one shots #smut one shot

[blushweddinggowns]

They keep their relationship secret at the start, at Steve's request.

It's not that Steve was ashamed of Eddie or anything, but he knew what his friends were like. Nancy and Robin would have an absolute field day, especially with all of the whining and pining Steve had been giving them for months. The kids would immediately be all up in their business and he would probably get at least four different shovel talks when it did come out in the open. But worst of all they would all be biting at the bit to tell Eddie every embarrassing little thing they knew about him.

Steve could accept that, he could, he would, but could anyone blame him for wanting his boyfriend to not be aware of what a loser he could be? Eddie was still on the high of having Steve save his life and watching him not get his ass handed to him for once, and all Steve wanted was to keep that image alive during the early stages of their relationship. His image could be shattered after Eddie was madly in love with him.

Plus, Steve knew that he was Eddie's first real relationship and he wanted to give him the full King Steve wooing treatment. And that was a lot easier without being heckled by six children. And in Steve's humble opionion, he was doing a damn good job of it.

Calling every night just to ask how his day went? Check. Impromptu hugs from behind that involved picking Eddie up and twirling him around? Check. Special little presents throughout the week that never failed to make Eddie wear the prettiest blush Steve had ever seen? Double check.

He was even up for helping Eddie out with his drug deals on particularly busy weekends, always waving away Eddie's worried protests. No police officer in Hawkins would ever believe that drugs were being run through the Harrington household, even if the adult Harringtons themselves hadn't stepped foot in Hawkins for a year. Besides, he always managed to convince any of his lady clients to buy at embarrassingly high prices and was more than willing to be a charlatan for Eddie's financial sake.

So imagine his surprise when he wakes up to three furious kids pounding on his door the morning after scamming Tammy Thompson out of $30 for a gram of weed. He left Eddie behind in bed, thankful that he slept like the dead, kissing his hair before getting the door.

Max, Dustin, and Lucas stomped right past him the second he opened it, wasting no time before they started yelling over each other.

"Where is she?" Max gritted out, whipping her head around the living room, "And don't even try to lie, we saw her car here last night. And the weekend before!"

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose, completely confused but at least aware it was way to early for him to be dealing with this shit, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"We know you're cheating on Eddie, just admit it!" Dustin crossed his arms over his chest, "And after everything he's been through?"

Lucas was shaking his head, and giving Steve the most disappointed look he'd ever seen, it was cutting, "And with Tammy? I really thought you'd changed man. You have five minutes to explain yourself before we tell Mike, and he'll just kill you."

Steve just stared at the trio, his mind desperately trying to catch up to figure out how they knew about Eddie and why they thought Steve was stupid enough to throw it all away for a blonde kermit. Eddie choose that moment to sleepily wander down the stairs, eyes widening at the sight of three teenagers berating his boyfriend in defense of his honor.

It took a half hour for Eddie to convince them it was all a misunderstanding and even less time for Steve to find out that everyone knew about them from basically day one.

"When you suddenly stopped waxing poetry about Eddie's hair this and Eddie's eyes that, we just knew it had happened," Max shrugged.

"And I've seen you guys make out at the drive in like, three times now," Lucas added, "You're really not subtle."

"Not that we aren't happy for you!" Dustin smiled, immediately appeased by Eddie's explanation, "Robin just told us to give you space until you came clean, but everyone thinks it's great."

"Robin knows?!"

They all nodded, all way too pleased with themselves, "Who do you think told us?"

Steve groaned, she was never going to let him live this down when she found out about this stupid Tammy thing, let alone the fact that she had him clocked from the get-go.

Dustin turned to Eddie, still all smiles, "So now that you know we know, we have so much to tell you."

Steve watched, head in his hands as his favorite children started to regale his favorite person with all of his most embarrassing moments, debating on if he should be thankful that they managed to even wait as long as they had to spill the beans, or if he should examine just how poorly he had managed to hide his feelings.

Either way that was the last time Steve tried to hide anything from his kids.

#steddie #drabble #steddie ficlet #look at me writing this instead of steddie wip i havent looked at for two weeks #whoops #eddie munson #steve harrington

[rxmqnova]

My little troublemaker

Y/N: 4 years old Lizzie: 19 years old ——————————————————

LIZZIE'S POV Having a little todler running around the house is not easy. Especially when you're only 19 and you're raising your child alone. The judging looks by other people when Y/N calls me 'mom' in the store or just somewhere in public aren't helping at all, but I wouldn't change a thing in my life.

Y/N wasn't planned at all. Her father left me right after I told him I want to keep her. He was quite rude about it which only made things so much harder, but I'm trying my best to give her as much love as I can. I know for sure she'll ask me the question about her dad in the future, but for now I'm trying my best to make up for both parents and to make sure she has everything she needs.

I do have an amazing family though. My parents and siblings are helping me as much as they can which I'll be forever grateful for. Also my daughter is the most amazing little human in the world. She's pretty smart on her age and thank god she's not one of those children who throw tantrums about everything.

Y/N and I had a movie night yesterday, so I'm not even surprised when I find myself surrounded by a bunch of blankets and Y/N's teddy bears after waking up. My eyes widen when I don't find my daughter underneath the blankets or anywhere in the room though. She's usually the one who wakes me up by laying her small body on mine and squishing my cheeks with her tiny hands.

"Y/N?" I look around the room once again, not seeing her anywhere. I immediately rush down the stairs to find her. "Oh my god, Y/N!" I raise my voice when I see her standing on a chair in the kitchen, a knife in her hand. I quickly lift her up, immediately taking the knife from her hand. "Honey, you could have hurt yourself. You can't use a knife without me knowing" I sigh, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Are you okay?"

"But I wanted to make you breakfast" She pouts, crossing her arms.

"Oh did you?" I raise an eyebrow which makes her giggle. Y/N nods with a smile, pointing at a piece of bread which is placed on the kitchen counter. "That's for me?"

"Yes, mama! You have to try!" She grins, happily kicking her legs.

"Thank you, sweetheart. I will try it out right now" I take the bread and sit down on a chair with Y/N on my lap. I take a bite, trying hard to pretend like it's really good. I don't know what's in this, but it really doesn't taste good.

"Do you like it?" Y/N asks with a huge smile, watching me carefully.

"It's really good, sweetheart. Thank you. It's so good that I'm gonna save it for later" I smile at her, Y/N nodding her head and smiling at me in response. "But what would you say on some pancakes now, hm?" I boop her nose which never fails and always makes her smile.

"Yay!" Y/N cheers, throwing her arms in the air.

———————————

"Mommy? Do I have a dad?" Y/N asks quietly, watching me with her big green eyes. I just tucked her in for bed and I definitely wasn't expecting this question tonight.

"I. Hm… You do have a dad, sweetheart. Why are you asking?" I give her a smile and brush a strand of hair behind her ear. She needs to know she can ask me or speak to me about everything.

"Because the boys from my preschool say it's weird to only have a mommy" She explains, adding a dramatic sigh to the end.

"It's not weird at all, honey. A lot of children have only a mommy or only a daddy. Sometimes it just happens, but it doesn't mean it's weird" I tell her, stroking her cheek with my finger.

"But why, mommy? Why isn't he here with us?" She asks, wrapping her little arms around my neck. I take a deep breath, thinking about what to tell her. But I think it'll be better to just tell her the truth somehow, even though it's not really nice.

"You know, baby… Your dad was very mean to mommy, so she decided she's better without him" I tell her honestly, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"I don't like him then. You are the bestest and nicest mommy in the world" Y/N pouts, making me wonder how did I get so lucky to have her as my daughter.

"I love you the most, my little monkey" I smile, pushing back my tears. Y/N's words really got me. "It's getting late now though and you need to get some sleep, so we can play all day tomorrow" I rub the tip of my nose against hers, making her smile.

"I love you, mama" She says, pouting her lips for a kiss. I peck her lips with a kiss before pulling up the covers to her chest. "Mommy, my teddy bear!" She suddenly gasps, looking around the bed to find her favorite teddy.

"I'll bring him. Stay here and don't move" I warn before standing up and walking to find Y/N's favorite teddy.

I make my way to the living room and as I expected, she left him there, so now I'm on my way back to the bedroom.

"I found him, baby. You left him in the-" I start, cutting myself off when I see Y/N sitting on the table in front of the window, her face and hands pressed against the glass. "Y/N, that's really dangerous. How did you get there?" I sigh, immediately lifting her up on which she whines.

"But there was a butterfly, mama" She pouts.

"A butterfly? Now? At night?" I raise an eyebrow on which Y/N nods. "That was probably a moth, sweetheart. But no climbing on the table when mama isn't with you, okay?"

"Yes, mama" Y/N says with that cute pout again.

"It's really time for bed now, my little troublemaker"

----------------------

Elizabeth Olsen masterlist

Masterlist

#elizabeth olsen #fanfiction #elizabeth olsen daughter #lizzie olsen #lizzie olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen x y/n

[friendsoup]

I REALLY LOVED YOUR DIKKE FIC!!! can you write Dikke x reader where the reader admires her and the reader is too shy to talk to her?? :O

Tyvm <3

A Misunderstanding

Recipe: Romantic fluff, reader x Dikke, Dikke is a worrywart, gn!reader, reader is referred to with they/them pronouns once, reader is called M'lord WC: 1,207 Chef's Note: I hope this meets your expectations!!! I was kinda stuck while writing this, bc my muse for Dikke is all over the place, but I think I did OK! This was super fun to work on!

Love is a funny feeling. It bubbles in your chest, fogging up your brain. It squeezes at your lungs, flushes your cheeks, and pounds at the inner bars of your ribcage. It halts your ability to reason, makes every decision that much harder. Had it any other name, you’d think it was evil.

You can pinpoint the exact moment you fell in love with Dikke. You were out on the field with her, battling off some critters, when one launched itself forward at you. It’s teeth were large, dripping with black venom, and as it got closer, you could see just how sharp it’s fangs were. You closed your eyes, flinching away as you braced for impact. Prepared for the agonizing pain you knew was about to come. But then a moment passed. And you were fine. Hesitantly, you opened your eyes, to find that Dikke was standing in front of you. Her arm was caught in the critter’s jaw, you could see blood begin to pool in the bite marks. Yet she flung the creature away effortlessly, the dreaded fiend hitting the ground and running off. She turned back to you then, her red eyes narrowed in determination. “Are you hurt?” She asked, her voice still holding strong, despite the pain she had to have been in. That was the exact moment you found that words failed whenever it came to Dikke.

It was difficult. Being so utterly helpless when it came to her. You’d sneak glances, only to turn your head entirely whenever she looked your way. You’d doodle her name in your notebook, only to cover it whenever she walked by. You’d walk as close to her as you possibly could, trailing behind her like a lost puppy, only to quickly change paths whenever she slowed her stride to walk aside you. And conversation, oh conversation was the worst.

You couldn’t get more than a ‘hello’ out most days. A ‘good morning’, if you were at your best. Dikke had never been one for small talk, so you assumed she wouldn’t mind, yet it seemed as though the more you shied away, the closer she came. 

You never lasted long while talking to her. She’d make her way over to you, ask you how you’re doing, and then you’d squeal some sort of excuse, and make your escape. 

It’s not as though you didn’t want to talk to her, you really did! But every attempt made your body close in on itself. Your mouth went dry, your head would spin, you felt so unbelievably nervous, that it was hard to focus on anything except not throwing up.

Dikke was beginning to worry.

Ever since she’d saved you from that critter, you’ve been acting so strange. It was an impulsive move, and acting on a feeling isn’t something she was used to doing. Yet she couldn’t stand to see you hurt, breaking formation just so she could protect you from the attack. Had her recklessness driven you away? 

Perhaps she’d scared you somehow? The image of her standing before you, taking a blow, may have been too much for someone so gentle. Was it the blood she’d wiped off her arm? The fierce look on her face? Dikke’s stomach turned with every possibility. It was obvious that she’d upset you, she just didn’t know how. Even worse, she had no clue what she was going to do in order to fix it.

The Timekeeper was the only one she spoke to about this grand disaster. Dikke approached her, keeping her composure despite the twist in her heart. She felt faint as she recalled the events, her eyes falling to the floor when she spoke of how timid you’d become around her. Though emotions were often complicated for Vertin, she’s no fool. She’d seen the two of you in battle before; how glances would be thrown each other’s way, the nervous tension with every shout. She noticed the feelings long before either of you did. It’s why she’d put you together for almost every team. In the hopes that you’d figure it out, or die trying. “Just talk to them.” Vertin’s advice surprised Dikke. It was so simple, yet so hard to complete. Dikke swallowed every ounce of pride she had left, and promised Vertin that she’d have it dealt with by the morning.Dikke approached you that afternoon, blocking your way from the room you were exiting. She towered above you, narrowing her eyes as you shied away. You let out a meek greeting, which seemingly left her unaffected.

“Are you cross with me?” She asked finally, after a minute of staring you down.

“Wh-What?” You asked, feeling your face begin to heat with embarrassment.

“Have I done something to upset you, M’lord?” Her voice was uncharacteristically nervous, as she lowered her gaze to the floor.

“I… no! Of course not!” You argued, shaking your head wildly.

“Then why is it that you cower away from me?” She asked, looking up to meet your gaze again. “Why is it that you avoid my presence, as if I’m some plague? You glare at me from across the room, yet turn in fear each time I meet your eyes. Why is that? What have I done?” Dikke asked, her voice dripping with melancholy.

Flustered, you hid your face in your hands. You couldn’t stand to look at her and her sad, sad expression.

“It’s not like that!” You finally yelp, glancing from behind your fingers. “Dikke, I like you. I like you a lot.”

“Ah. I like you as well, m’lord, you are a reliable ally, and a ferocious fighter-”

“No, not like that! Romantically!” You cry.

Dikke’s face goes red, her mouth hanging open slightly.

“I… I see.” She mutters, coughing into her closed fist. “You wish to court me?”

“I…I guess?” You peep, keeping your head low.

“Then we shall court.” Dikke gives a stern nod, though the blush doesn’t leave her face. “I look forward to our relationship, m’lord.”

You make a soft noise, and with that, Dikke leaves the room.

The both of you are too flustered to speak for quite some time.

#x reader #reverse 1999 #reverse 1999 x reader #Dikke #Dikke x reader #Dikke x you #Dikke reverse 1999 #fanfic #reader insert #Let's Make Friend Soup! #Order Up!

[zablife]

Hi Lee! I’m back again with another gif request (sorry I’m blowing your inbox up 😬)

What about something with this Luca gif?

How Could I Love You?

"Do you really think I give a damn what people think anymore, Luca?" you asked with a defiant toss of your head. It was the third time this month he had called you into his office like an errant employee who needed correcting and you were at your breaking point.

"I give a damn when my men tell me people all over this city are talking about my CRAZY FUCKING WIFE!" he yelled at you, slamming his palm against his desk. "Do you know how that looks?" he asked, seething with anger.

You looked away biting your lip as you shook your head. It seemed ridiculous to attempt a meaningful discussion about your growing unhappiness, and yet you had no other option. You were in over your head in a failing marriage and you needed him to recognize that. Turning to face him you asked, "Aren't you going to ask me why I've changed?"

He exhaled sharply through his nose, tired of playing these games with you. He married a beautiful young woman to decorate his arm and bear his sons, not create problems he had little time nor inclination to solve. "What does it fucking matter?" he asked. "When my father is dead and my mother needs us, hmm?"

As soon as the words left his mouth he thought of his mother and his shoulders began to slump. She deserved the stability of the remaining family uniting around her. Therefore, he would coddle you one more time as much as he despised the thought. He tried not to grit his teeth as he crossed the room to embrace you. "Trust me, we can get through this, Y/n," he promised in a flat, unconvincing tone.

You immediately recognized his pathetic attempt to sway your emotions. His hug felt so distant and cold, you wanted to cry. You stiffened in his arms as you looked down at his hands barely touching you. "Look how you hold me, Luca," you scoffed as you began to back away from him. "You don't look at me with love anymore. I'm invisible to you," you added bitterly.

"Jesus Christ, I can't talk to you when you're like this," he said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You really have lost your fucking mind, you know that," he said pointing a finger in your face accusingly.

"Because you've picked me apart piece by piece, chasing unattainable perfection until I couldn't take it anymore," you said, throwing your hands in the air. "Fuck you," you spat with your head held high.

Looking at you with disgust brewing in his stormy green eyes he snarled, "You say that and wonder why I don't hold you the way you want or look at you with love. How could I love you?"

Studying him with a look of determination, you finally felt courageous enough to do what you'd dreamt of for months. "It's not about having someone to love me anymore. I have to save myself and get the hell away from you," you informed him as you pushed past, leaving his office and his cruel judgements behind for the last time.

#zablife ask box #Peaky Blinders fanfic #Peaky Blinders imagine #Luca Changretta #Luca Changretta fanfic #Luca Changretta imagine #Luca Changretta x you #Luca Changretta x y/n #Luca Changretta x reader

[xspeter]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐍𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐌𝐒

𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐚 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐜 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥, 𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐟, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡, 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐓

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ఌ 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐧𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐛𝐲 𝐭.𝐬𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐭 ꨄ

november 14, 9:36 a.m.

you weren’t sure when the last time you got a full nights rest was.

it’s hard, when every time you close your eyes you see her face. everytime you close your eyes you see the bullet go through her skull, see the way her body fell to the ground like she weighed absolutely nothing.

everytime you remember it, you recall a scream. it might’ve been hers, it might’ve been emily’s, it might’ve been yours.

you aren’t sure.

“y/n,” someone whispers against your skin, you aren’t sure who.

everyone’s voices seem to jumble together at this point.

“you have to get ready.” they say.

you pull the blankets closer to your chest.

“for what?” you mumble.

“for the funeral.”

oh yeah.

november 14, 2:43 p.m.

she always said she wanted her funeral to be like a big party.

“well, i just don’t want everyone to sit and cry and be sad. i want- i want them to celebrate me.” she swallows, and you nod.

“that’s understandable, but i can’t promise you i won’t cry at your funeral.” you say.

she shoves you, “don’t say that.”

you shrug, “i mean, it’s only logical that one of us will die first- not to sound like, morbid or something.” you shudder.

she laughs, “no. we live together, we die together. promise.”

you bite your lip as you weave your way through the crowd. there’s people dancing, most of them are teary eyed.

there’s a large memorial right in the center of everything. there’s flowers piled up in the worst way, gifts that she’ll never be able to open- you think you might throw up.

spencer grabs your arm when you waver, his brown eyes filled to the brim with sympathy. “are you okay?” he asks.

you don’t respond.

you don’t know if you’ll ever be okay again.

you take a breath as you lay down the flowers right next to her the canvas that holds her photo.

“i’m sorry.” you mumble.

“i’m so, so, sorry.” you cry.

the tears come before you can even stop them.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry,” you repeat like a mantra, your breath coming in gasps. spencer is quick to fall to his knees next to you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and holding you close to his chest.

you barely even notice him.

all you can focus on is her.

how you failed to save her. you failed her family, failed your job, you failed yourself. how were you supposed to come back from this,

“it’s okay, you’re okay, i’m here.” spencer whispers in your ear.

but it’s not him that you want.

december 3, 7:34 p.m.

you aren’t sure if this is your third glass of wine, or your seventh. you don’t really care.

this is the only way to numb the pain. the only way that you can forget.

sometimes you catch yourself going to call or text her, and then you remember.

the front door opens and closes with a slam, you don’t notice.

“y/n?” a female voice calls out.

“what?” you sing-song.

a brightly colored woman steps into view, and you immediately recognize her as penelope garcia.

you gasp, “pen!” you giggle, clambering to your feet to give her a hug. she returns it effortlessly.

spencer stands behind her, his bag slung over his shoulder.

penelope pulls away with a sigh, her eyebrows are nut together and her eyes are glassy. “what’s wrong?” you ask.

“y/n, are you drinking?” she asks.

you furrow your eyebrows, taking a step away from her.

“what does it matter?” you spit.

she shares a look with spencer.

he clears his throat, “we’re worried about you, sweetheart. everyone is- the whole team.” he mutters, reaching out to place a hand on your arm.

you swat him away, tone dripping venom as you scoff out, “i’m fine! there- there is nothing wrong with me.”

penolope wipes away a tear, “y/n, how many glasses of wine have you had?” she asks.

you scowl, “i don’t- i’m not keeping count! why does this even matter anyway?”

spencer picks up your glass and drops in the sink. you flinch at the clang it makes.

“because y/n, this is not how you deal with grief. we are all here for you- everyone of us. and we want to help you, but you aren’t letting us! everytime i try to talk to you you shut down, and all your doing is making yourself worse with all this drinking.” he cries.

he bites his lip and sighs, “sweetheart, the alcohol is not going to make it go away. it’s just going to make it worse.”

your bottom lip begins to quiver at that, and your shoulders shake as you stumble to the couch.

you hold you head in your hands as you sob. spencer and Penelope sit on either side of you, whispering about how loved you are.

and for the first time, you think you might get through this.

december 18, 8:42 a.m.

today is your first day back at work since she died, and your feeling more excited than nervous.

you’ve missed everyone, and you’ve missed working with them.

as soon as you walk through the door with spencer by your side you’re surrounded by the team you’ve grown to love.

“oh, i’ve missed you so much!” emily says, gathering you into her arms in a bone crushing hug.

you laugh and agree with her.

when everyone finishes the mini reunion, hotch calls you all into the meeting room to discuss your next case.

penolope explains that teenage girls in a small town right outside of phoenix, arizona have been going missing and found dead three days later with a singular bullet shot through the skull.

one shot through the skull.

december 19, 12:21 p.m.

should anyone honestly be surprised that the mission turns out like this? that as soon as you see the body of the newest victim, you’re brought back to there.

to that place where the most important person in your life was taken from you?

“y/n, baby, just look at me, okay? look at me.” spencer instructs as you gasp for air.

“follow my breathing,” you do as he says.

“good, just like that.” he praises, continuing to slowly breathe in through his nose and out through his mouth.

when the crowd surrounding you disperses and your tears have long dried, you and spencer sit in the hotel room together.

you on the bed, and spencer on the desk chair.

you both sit in silence for a few moments, before you finally say it.

“i cant keep doing this anymore.” you mutter.

spencer swallows.

“what do you mean?” he asks.

you swallow, blinking away the tears that begin to form in your eyes.

“everything- i just, i need to get away.” you cry.

spencer furrows his eyebrows and bites his lip, “y/n, please don’t do this.” he pleads with a sob.

you let the tears fall freely now, “spencer, i have too.”

he falls to the floor in front of you, clasping your knees. you avoid eye contact.

“please, i can- i can help you! we just have to get through this-“

you shake your head, “no, spencer. i have to go. i need to get away from- from all of this!”

he frowns, “i’ll go with you! just- please, please don’t leave me.” he sobs.

you shake your head, softly pushing him away from you and standing. you grab your bags, and quietly make your way to the hotel door.

“i’m sorry, spencer.”

september 21, 4:43 p.m.

two years later

you really never thought you’d be back here.

when you left that fateful day in december, you had been so positive that that was it.

and now you’re back.

you try to ignore the anxiety in your chest when you walk through the threshold of hotch’s office, a smile on your face.

hotch looks up at you, and his eyes soften.

“y/n. you look healthy.” he says.

you shrug, “well, time heals all i suppose.”

hotch smiles.

he actually smiles.

“they’re all in the meeting room. i didn’t… i didn’t tell them you were coming back. i just said we have a new member.” he explains.

you nod and go to leave his office, but he stops you.

“y/n?” he says.

“yeah?” you hum.

“spencer, he, um, he’s engaged.” he says.

you hate the way your heart drops at that.

“oh,” you clear your throat, “okay.”

what right would you even have to feel hurt by this? you left him.

“she was your replacement when you left,” he explains, “her names callie.”

when you walked into the meeting room, you could’ve cried from joy.

everyone immediately pounced on you when you entered, their excited rambling is hard to keep up with, but you barely notice.

because all you can see is spencer.

and the woman next to him.

and their hands clasped together.

when hotch settles everyone down, you take the safe route and sit next derek as garcia gives a briefing on your case.

you do your best to pay attention, you really do, but it’s hard when you know he’s staring at you.

he doesn’t even try to hide it either. everytime you glance at him he doesn’t look away, he just stares.

the plane ride is even worse.

“hi, i don’t think we’ve met! my names callie.” the woman who was holding spencer’s hand says.

you smile and take a seat across from emily, “i’m y/n.”

she laughs, “believe me, i know! when i first joined the team, all anyone ever talked about was you! especially spencer.” she laughs.

you feel your shoulders tense, but you just laugh it off.

september 25, 8:36 p.m.

you sit at a bar, and order a glass of water.

the bartender looks at you funny, but you just shrug, “i’m not in the mood for alcohol.”

when he serves it to you, you sip on it moderately, watching the football game on the television that hangs a few feet in front of you.

you almost don’t notice when someone sits next to you.

almost.

“hi,” he says.

“hi.” you say back.

you ignore the way your shoulders tense and your heart flutters when he scoots just a little bit closer.

“why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?” he asks, you shrug.

“what was i supposed to say?”

he shrugs.

silence.

“i’m sorry,” you swallow.

he nods, “so am i.”

“you have nothing to be sorry for, Spence. i… i did what was best for me at the time. and you got something good from it anyway! you met your fiancé, and believe me, when i saw that ring i just knew you loved her.” you gush, ignoring the ache in your chest.

he frowns, toying with his fingers.

“it was supposed to be yours.”

you swear your heart stops at that.

you eyes begin to feel glassy, and you bite your bottom lip.

spencer looks as heartbroken as you feel.

“it was my moms, and she gave it to me two weeks before… she died. i wanted to take you somewhere really romantic and propose, but… then you left.”

“spence…” you mumble.

he smiles, “i don’t blame you for leaving.”

you wipe at the tear that rolls down your cheek, clearing your throat, you mumble, “i’m sorry, spence.”

“i know you are.”

and then he leaves.

why are all my spencer posts always super angsty ???

#spencer reid x reader #criminal minds x reader #angst #champagne problems #criminal minds #spencer reid #matthew gray gubler

[flightfoot]

ML Movie Musing:

I think some folks might have missed how very different the solution to Marinette's problems in the movie are meant to be. It's not a poor take on the same answer, it's a different answer. The movie understates a lot by choice and that is whiplash from the series.

Movie!Marinette is not helped through unconditional support and praise(the general throughline of the show) We see her get this early on from Alya in the 'failure montage'. Alya is always there at every moment supporting her unironically and enthusiastically. It doesn't help.

Marinette improves in the movie by being given support..but with a push. Tikki being the first and obvious one. She's seen what Marinette can do, so after the classic pep talk she pushes her out the door. How does Marinette respond? Her first dose of sarcasm and biting back (what's next, a tea set?)

She meets Cat Noir and he's ostentatious, theatrical, and teasing (she does start the teasing first, so many miss that... Granted he is being a goofball and deserves it a little) but he *is* still supportive in it all. He's not telling her sh's a failure or to go home. It's 'stick with me.' and much like with Fu we see how when things get serious she is able to pull through.

Tikki not letting her throw Ladybug away(but eventually leaving her alone) is so strong. It's 'I won't let you fail yourself' love. When it comes to the second transformation Tikki doesn't give her any of the support from the first time. It's just the naked truth 'You must face your fears' and Marinette is the one who makes that choice.

By the 'third'(highlighted) transformation Marinette, who has been questioning herself after being delt a serious blow, still makes the choice to suit up without prompting. She *has* grown. In the fact of Mega-Moth, she does need a little boost(it's a kids movie a little on the nose repeating is fine)

She faces the very reasonable 'I am a fleshy human' fear to save Cat Noir.

And we get at the end her facing her fears *again* with Adrien(I love how they show her being afraid without actually saying it out loud)

The movie makes a point that this is what this Marinette needed. A partner, not a cheerleader. She needed someone(two someones) who challenged her but did so from a place of caring. It helped her push through and come to terms with fear existing but still doing what needs to be done.

I just really liked the difference/nuance there. It would have been so easy to have the standard 'There's nothing to fear/don't be afraid' message. That it was willing to say 'Yeah, you will be afraid. You can't let fear control you though.' is fun.

(and it loops back to how Marinette is literally avoiding people trying to be nice to her in her opening song. The fear dominates her. (Hence Cat Noir's 'Failure isn't your enemy, your fear is')

Just had to gush, rewatched recently

I didn't like the movie as much as you did, but this is an interesting point. The movie sticks more with pushing Marinette outside of her comfort zone and allowing her to see that she's able to swim, rather than providing more traditional support.

#ask #miraculous ladybug #ml analysis

[clubwnderland]

⤷⋆⋆ 𝑮𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝑴𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 ♡

[pt one][pt two][pt three][pt four][pt five]

[This plot contains abuse, death, gaslighting, violence, kidnapping, and mentions of SA, injuries and blood. Read at your own risk]

TWELVE DAYS MISSING

Irene and Chris wait for what feels like an eternity, Doom taking its time to think about what it's going to do. It flips the pages of Jangmi's book, silent as it reads and Irene has to keep Chris from saying something to get it moving. She would really like for her boyfriend to come home with her and not end up squashed by a giant God.

They wait with bated breath as Doom snaps the book shut and brings its attention back to them. "You're willing to give me anything I want just so I would save this unremarkable hybrid's life?" It notices the way Chris tenses next to Irene and rephrases what it had said, "other than your life or the life of another. You, the Queen of Hell, are willing to owe a debt to a God for this creature?"

"Yes," Irene nods, "she's loved and missed. She shouldn't be in this position."

"You failed her." It's not an accusatory comment, more so an observation based on Jangmi's story. Irene nods again, her head bowed slightly as she looks at the floor. "You may head back to Earth." It places Jangmi's book back where it belongs and doesn't turn to look at them, "remember, you are obligated to fulfil any request I make."

Bowing, Irene is quick to thank the God while Chris looks both worried about Irene and extremely annoyed it took so long to come to a decision. Though, he doesn't get to say anything as a rift opens nearby and Doom silently dismisses them. "So what now?" He asks once they've stepped through the rift, clutching Irene's hand tightly, and exiting it in Irene's office.

She's silent, looking at the closed door where everyone is waiting on the other side, waiting for answers that she's not sure she can provide. Giving Chris' hand a gentle squeeze, she looks at him and he can see the exhaustion settling in, the weight of the last two weeks sitting heavy on her shoulders. "I don't know..." She whispers, knowing the others will hear that they are back. "I really don't."

JEON JANGMI: FOUND

'Please. Save me...' This is the only thought that runs through her mind as another set of hands glide down her sides and grip her waist. Jangmi wants to throw up, wants to scream and bite and kick and fight her way out of this situation but she knows what will happen if she does that.

Discipline.

More bruises that take days to heal, more meals missed as they starve her and keep her barely conscious until she learns her lesson, and more training sessions in private with her Master. Things she can't bear to go through again so she swallows down the bile and pushes through, chanting her mantra over and over again as if wishes came true.

They do. Maybe not in the way we expect them or want them to but eventually, wishes do come true and they can take you by surprise when they do.

Shouting sounds from outside of the room followed by gunshots which causes the music to stop and has Jangmi backing away from the man who was trying to pull her closer. "What's going on?" Her Master yells, indicating for the security guards standing at the doors to check but before they can, the doors burst open and fire erupts from the hallway.

A man... no, he can't be a man, he's far too tall for that, a creature nearly as tall as the ceiling walks through the doors, covered in dark metallic armour. The flames follow behind him, as if controlled, as he stops to stand just in front of the doorway and looks around the room. Everyone is too shocked to move except for Jangmi, who is trying to put as much distance between herself and whatever has interrupted the party.

She can feel his eyes fall on her as a deep voice erupts around the room, nearly shaking the walls. "Jeon Jangmi."

The hybrid covers her ears, trying to make herself as small as possible while her Master calls for the guards to do something, determined to make sure his prized possession isn't taken from him once more. Loud screams and the extremely potent smell of burning flesh begin to fill the room as the security guards burst into flames before they manage to pull their guns out.

It happens in slow motion, the way everyone moves, tries to run away before their bodies begin to ignite with the giant walking through them without a care. He doesn't pay any attention to the billionaires and businessmen dying around him, calling for help as they fall to the ground and roll around to try and put themselves out but soon, one by one, they all succumb to their doom. Jangmi remains in her spot, feeling the heat all around her, the smell burning her nose as she coughs and gags due to the intensity and the screams, even with her ears covered, the screams will remain imprinted in her nightmares.

She feels a hand grip her wrist, her Master trying one last attempt at escaping with her but the fox doesn't budge, determined to die here like this rather than try and outrun whatever Hell is coming for her.

That's what she's accepted, that this is Hell coming to finally claim her.

"Little... bitch..." Her Master chokes out, the smoke causing his lungs to scream for air as he gives up his tugging and tries to run away. "I'll find you again, I'll always-" His words are cut short by his coughing, his hands reach for his throat to clutch at the flesh as if that'll relieve his suffering. Choking sounds echo throughout the room, mixed with the broken sobs coming from Jangmi as she takes a look at what is happening.

The old man is on his knees, clutching at his throat as his skin bubbles, boils bursting from the wrinkled skin causing bleeding, hideous wounds to cover him. Deep marks show up on his body, blood and pus ruining his suit as she notices every single injury he ever caused her is taken out on his brittle body repeatedly. She may not see them, may not ever know they are there but the marks around his neck and wrists from when he would tie her up too tight to punish her, leaving her with scars that still mar her body today are clear on his decaying flesh.

He's dying. Rapidly. With every injury inflicted, his body slowly decays until he is nothing more than bare bones on the ground.

Fire envelopes the room, the unrelenting flames wanting to overtake all evidence inside as her vision turns black. The events before her were too much for her to handle and her mind shut down, accepting she was next.

The last thing Jangmi sees before her head hit the ground is the large figure walking slowly towards her, crushing the bones beneath his large feet.

JEON JANGMI: HOME

There is commotion as soon as Doom enters the room, everyone is talking, arguing and fighting amongst themselves because how could they leave her life in the hands of a God who doesn't care whether she lives or dies. Irene argues that it was going to do it - even though the words were never explicitly said, it still implied it.

However, the moment the God entered the room, holding a limp Jangmi in his arms, the room went silent.

"The hybrid has been returned." Doom speaks and even though it spoke as quietly as it could - the depth of his voice still rumbled the small fox in his arms, causing her brow to furrow. Placing her down on a leather couch that is probably more comfortable than where she has been sleeping for nearly two weeks, Doom moves away, allowing the others to crowd her, before looking at Irene. "I will collect, Irene, Queen of Hell."

Nothing more is said before the God leaves the room and Irene stumbles back slightly, caught in Chris' arms as she allows herself to finally relax.

"Bringing her to the place across the hall from where she was kidnapped? Smart move." A low growl comes from the older wolf which only has Chris chuckling. "I'm just saying."

Her head is throbbing, she can hear muffled voices as her stiff body begins to move and then, as her mind recalls everything that happened, a scene begins to play that causes her to bolt upright and move as quickly as she can away from those around her. Jangmi doesn't register anything, she doesn't register where she is, or who it is who surrounds her, all she knows is that the last thing she remembers is everything on fire.

"Jangmi-" She bites the hand that reaches for her, trying to calm her down, before rushing away and growling at those closest to her. "Ah, fuck!" Jongin shakes his hand, the wound healing quickly since it was her only giving a warning. She has nowhere to run, trapped in the corner of the living room, and the men around her are moving closer so she shifts, turning into a small white fox. Jangmi sees an opening and rushes for the small gap under the couch where nothing can touch her.

There's a deep chuckle coming from one of her captors but she doesn't recognise it. Even if she's safe inside Jongin's place surrounded by wolves, Jangmi isn't able to process that after what had happened before she passed out. She's still living in fight or flight mode and all she can think is - did someone else take her? Did her old owner come back for her when she passed out? No... she saw him... she saw him die... but then...

"Pretty little fox," a voice calls for her, something familiar, a dream trying to trick her mind to feel safe because she's terrified, backed into a corner and relying on her instincts to keep her alive. Chan is there, calling for her but she can't trust anything. How can she know she's safe? "Come here, hm?" She growls and barks at the man, showing her fangs to keep him away.

This place is danger. There's conflict in her mind, the voices, the scents, the scenery are all familiar but she's still on high alert because how can she be here, there's no way she's home. That's what her brain is telling her, that wherever she is, she's not safe here, that it's not what it seems which means 'whoever' they are - they aren't safe either.

"See, I told you so." Someone else says, laughing when met with a low groan. "Move aside, I'll get her out."

"How are you meant to get her out? She doesn't even know you." Jongin is ignored as Chris heads over to the fridge and comes back, crouching down like Chan had done before.

Another face eventually comes into her view as Jangmi barks, backing away as far as she can go. "Come on, foxie." He extends his hand out, a couple slices of ham in between his fingers as he makes soft clicking noises with his tongue. She still growls, nose twitching at the smell of food and her stomach tightens with hunger. "It's okay, you can have it. I got some more if you're a good girl for me and eat it."

She inches closer, just enough to get the meat and pulls away as soon as it's in her mouth, devouring it hungrily. It takes a while, Chris coming back with more ham, enticing with the food, before eventually Jangmi warms up enough to nuzzle his hand and allow him to help her out of her hiding place and into his arms.

There's a small clap coming from Channie while Jongin stands next to him, shocked and pissed at seeing Chris' smug expression. "How?"

Chris shrugs, looking at the three Alphas as he coos softly and scratches the now purring fox's belly. "She must like me better." He says simply before laughing. His laugh slightly startles her, causing Jangmi to wriggle in his hold, hiding her face into the crook of his arm before he immediately settles her down once more. She doesn't know why, even when danger is ringing in the back of her mind, she doesn't know why she feels relaxed. Chris feels... safe. Comforting. His scent isn't scary like all the other scents around her so in her fox brain, Chris isn't going to hurt her.

While in Chris' arms, Jangmi slowly starts to realise that the others around her are the same, that they aren't figments of her imagination and that she really is safe. Home... maybe a little to close to it than she likes but she's with those who make her feel at home.

That's close enough for her.

"I thought you'd feel okay here." Jongin says as he rubs his hand over his face. He feels pretty shit for bringing her here, not wanting to look at Chris when Jangmi says that she thought she had been kidnapped again due to Jongin's apartment being a mirror to her own.

She doesn't want him to feel bad, she knows that Jongin thought this place would be good because it's his place so she tries to smile at him reassuringly, "I'm sorry, I know you were only thinking of me... I just... I can't... can we please go... I don't want to be here." She gives his hand a slight tug, pleading for them to leave.

A hand lands on the small of her back, causing her to jump before she looks at Chan, noticing the look of concern and hurt on his face from his reaction as he removes his touch. "Do you want to come stay at mine, little fox?" Chan suggests, looking at her before Jongin and Channie. "You can all come stay for a bit while she gets better, I have the space and that way she'll always feel safe."

Jongin looks at her, nodding his head before going to pull her into a hug but Jangmi instinctively steps away, moving towards Chris as she hugs herself. "I- I'm sorry... it's just..." Tears slide down her cheeks as everyone looks at her. She can feel all their eyes on her and it makes her feel so small. Helpless. She wants to feel okay with them again, to be as physically receptive as she usually is but right now... "I'm dirty..." Jangmi says this so softly that she isn't sure if they heard her.

They did and they all know that she's not speaking about needing a shower.

It breaks Jongin's heart seeing her like this and not being able to do anything to help her right now. His boyfriend takes his hand, allowing his closeness help the older settle. "We'll be right there with her, Nini. Chan said so. We'll help her, okay?"

Jangmi knows they all understand, as Chris leads her to Chan's car with Chan following behind, she knows they don't hold it against her. Every time she tenses from the closeness she used to so readily accept, they tell her it's okay, it's not her fault and she tries to believe it. "You'll get there, little fox." Chan whispers softly as they wait for Jongin and Channie to come back with some of her clothes and favourite plushies, "we're here to help you through this, okay?"

She nods her head because she knows it's true, that she'll be okay and that they are right there beside her. Now, she just needs to believe it.

#post: jangmi #tw: death

[crzyimp]

Chapter 9.

Reading this chapter another time, then and now, left me somber. It starts out joyful with our favorite monk's parents' meeting. His father, Guangrui, gained a blessing to go to the capital for examination and job; getting first in rank and personally being praised by the Tang Emperor. Spent 3 days on horseback going around the capital. Then we're introduced of Xuanzang's mother, Yin Wenjiao(referred to as just Lady Yin later on), who sees a handsome, smart, and high ranking official during his 3 day parade; throws down a embroidered ball at her future husband knocking off his black cap. Though I like to think she went: "YOU!" pointing at him from the tower and aimed for his head. Really making sure that this guy's dense and doesn't get a hint. Actually, does that mean she technically proposed to him? Anyways they get married, move to city for Guangrui job, and picked up his mother along the way. Even saved a golden carp and sending it back to its river! Guangrui mother gets sick and forced to stay at a rent house. A little bump in the road, but that's fine since the couple can retrieve her in the fall.

Then Liu Hong appears captivated by Lady Yin's beauty and rips the young couple future away by killing Guangrui and stealing his identity. Forcing Lady Yin to comply to his demands. They dump Gaungrui's body in the river where thanks to saving, not actually a carp, his body and soul is preserved until his is avenged by his murderers.

Lady Yin is miserable in her situation, wishing to eat Liu Hong body and sleep on his skin. But kept her dark thoughts to herself and didn't enact on them; as she was pregnant with our monk! But not happy news as Bastard Liu Hong will kill our future protag the second he gets the chance. Thanks to divine intervention and luck, Lady Yin manages to send the baby away. By writing a letter in her own blood and biting off one of his toes before sending him off on river; tied by her garment before found by a monk.

So our monk, nicked River Float, and then called Xuanzang once he turned eighteen and joined the monetary; he learned of his orgins and set off to right wrongs. He succeeded, reuniting his mother, who helped him get in contact with grandfather. Who later just destroyed Liu Hong in a brutal fashion. I strongly don't think Xuanzang was there to see that part as he was probably with his mother, who already tried to kill herself once saved. She does it again after they toss Liu Hong's heart and liver into the river, seeing her husband body floated up. Who comes back to life!

Happiness as Xuanzang's family all together again, his father joins the Emperor court, and he continues with his studies in the Way. Except for Lady Yin, who succeeds in taking her life. Bittersweet ending.

Now for my notes and theories. You cannot tell me that this boy wasn't bullied by his peers for being an orphan. He had nothing, no name, probably no friends, and put all his efforts into studying the scripture as a source of comfort or even proving his worth to be there. (I could ramble more on his upbringing and the similarites with him and Wukong's background, but that could be for another day)

Besides the luck and divine intervention(and Sha Wujing eating his past lives), another clue that Xuanzang might be special is when he cured his grandmother blindness by licking her eyelids.

Or the pain and guilt that despite everything he did failed to save his mother.

But that's enough rambling from me for now.

@journeythroughjourneytothewest

#tw suicide #cw suicide #implied suicide #journey to the west #jttw #xiyouji #xuanzang #jttw tag #jttw book club #Buddha really told Golden Cicada get fucked for all your next lives #I could explore more into Lady Yin and her death #Also what happened after she bite off Xuanzang's toe? Did she bury it #hide it or a more terrible thought did she ate it? #I have more thoughts on this chapter but I feel like I could go on forever taking everything apart.

[maybege]

Demon!Paz Vizsla x Fem!Angel!Reader

just a little something I typed up on my phone this morning because I can’t stop thinking about them

“How’d you lose your wings?”

“Wow,” you scoffed, “Do you have a more inappropriate question to ask?”

He grinned, and for a moment you imagined to see the fiery glint in his eyes again, “As a matter of fact, I do,” he revealed, “But I don’t want to fluster you more than my charming presence already does.”

You chose to ignore that completely false statement and made a mental note to put salt in Boba’s tea for putting you in this position.

“So?”

You sighed, your shoulders falling at the memory of failing all your mentors. “I, uh, I refused to accompany one of the souls to heaven.”

“What’s so bad about that?” he asked, “just means someone else had to do it.”

You squirmed, “It’s not really that easy …”

Paz leant forward, clearly curious and you felt your cheeks heat under his intense gaze. It wasn’t menacing like before but … genuine, almost, and you didn’t like the way it made you feel all soft and warm. That was never a good sign.

“It was a baby,” you admitted, “And I … I refused to accompany its soul so that they could stay alive. It just … it didn’t feel right.”

“That’s how you ended up in the customer happiness department,” he realized and you nodded, “And are they?”

“What?”

“The baby whose life you saved,” he said, biting into his bagel, “Are they happy?”

You nodded, a small smile sneaking its way into your lips. “She is! She just graduated law school and she has so many friends and she got a rescue dog recently and -“ you trailed off, “I’m not really supposed to look into her life.”

Paz winked at you, causing a certainty unhealthy flutter in your belly, “It can stay our little secret.”

You hummed, looking at your own bagel in your hands. You hadn’t touched it yet, the cream cheese and lox looking too good to eat it. When was the last time you had eaten anything? Anything real?

“I’m sorry you lost your wings.”

“I’m sorry you lost your tail.”

“Don’t worry, my tail in the front more than makes up for it.”

“PAZ!”

“What?” he laughed, his entire body moving, “I just found out you aren’t the good girl everyone says you are and you’re still all prim and proper.”

“I am a good girl!” you protested, hoping the other people in the park wouldn’t hear you.

“Of course you are, you are the best girl,” he rumbled, “And I bet you get all horny when someone tells you you’re so good for them. Because you are, aren’t you? You could be so good for me.”

You gasped for breath, caught between indignation at his audacity and the pulsing between your legs because how could his voice sound so deep and warm it felt like it echoed in your chest? This did not affect you. He did not affect you.

“This is so unprofessional,” you hissed, packing your bagel into your bag and standing up. Paz was smirking at you, leaning back agains the bench and you hated how relaxed he looked. Like nothing in the universe concerned him. “We are to help Grogu find a Dad and because I’m nice I allowed you to chose this Djarin man but I dare you to make a comment like that again and I’ll inform the armourer of how inappropriate you’re being and - and I am not horny!”

A swarm of pigeons escaped the tree behind you and only then did you realize how loud you’d been. You turned your head, finding almost all the people in the park staring at you.

Shit.

Paz laughed, seemingly unaffected by your words, “Okay then, sweetheart,” he stood up, throwing his heavy arm around your shoulders, “you’re not horny and we’re going to find Din now. Sound good?”

Stars, you wanted to die of embarrassment.

#maybege writes #paz vizsla x reader #paz vizsla x fem!reader #demon!paz vibes

[elizmanderson]

"a kiss to anger a third party," perhaps from this post? elizmanderson. tumblr. com /711617943947067392

okay so fun fact, I am actually an idiot who read right over “another kissing prompt” on the post this kissing prompt came from and rb it just intending to like save the list of different kisses for later

but then I was too embarrassed to admit that in response to this ask WITHOUT writing something so long story short instead of researching lighthouses today like I was supposed to, I wrote a 1,700-word short story about fake girlfriends who kiss in the hallway outside grandma’s sewing room to piss off some shitty relatives

so. yeah. uh. enjoy I guess.

A KISS TO ANGER A THIRD PARTY STORY THAT I DIDN’T MEAN TO WRITE BUT HERE WE ARE

Fake dating has been going shockingly well, considering you’re terrible at real dating and also at lying, and somehow faking dating is both. Then again, family get-togethers are always awkward as fuck. Your cousin and his wife always share a chilly silence; your uncle has a casually off-color comment for every occasion; your mother judges everyone like doing so is an Olympic sport; and your grandparents desperately try and fail to keep the peace. So no one notices that you and Maeve stand across the room from each other instead of holding hands and melting into each other’s bodies the way two lovey-dovey newlydatings should allegedly do.

Rather, if anyone notices, they figure it’s normal. That’s how relationships are in your family, grandparents aside, and everyone has long since written them off as sweet old weirdos. The only reason you don’t think the lingering gazes you share with Maeve are more action than your relatives have ever had is the existence of multiple generations of biological children.

You share a gaze now. Not because you’re actually into Maeve, although you’re not not into Maeve; you picked an attractive fake girlfriend. Tall, with an undercut and dark eyes and a crooked nose and muscley arms that sometimes you think would be really great for picking you up and throwing you onto a bed, before you remember this is fake and please brain do not.

The corner of Maeve’s mouth turns up. You look away, biting back a smile.

You would like to stand here not-smiling at Maeve all night—or at least until the end of the torturous family cookout, which hasn’t even technically started yet because your uncle decided to “help” Grandpa with the grill and ended up setting all the food on fire instead, and the second attempt at dinner just went on the grill three minutes ago—but you seriously have to pee. In lieu of food, you’ve downed three cans of Coke from the drinks fridge in the garage. You cross the kitchen, accidentally-on-purpose brush against Maeve as you exit, and head down the hall to the half bath.

When you come out, you hear voices. Snatches of words. Your mother and cousin-in-law, sitting in your grandma’s sewing room. They’re supposed to be organizing it for her, but instead they’re sitting on bolts of fabric, gossiping.

“...tried to tell me they’d found someone, but they look absolutely miserable with that girl they brought,” your mother says. With a jolt, you realize she’s talking about you. “Maybe they’ll sit together at dinner, but with how far apart they’ve been standing since they arrived, I doubt it. And that girl has been scowling at everyone.”

“She’s worse than Luc,” your cousin-in-law says smugly. “And god knows he has the worst resting bitch face I ever saw. Sometimes I don’t know why I fell in love with him. No offense.”

“None taken. He’s not my kid.”

You don’t even like Luc, but your fingers curl into fists. As usual, you wonder what the fuck you did in a past life to be born into a family of people who spend all their time hating each other.

“Anyway” —your cousin-in-law examines her nails, fresh from a day at the salon, where she surely treats the staff hellishly— “I don’t think it’ll last. They’ve hardly spoken two words to each other all afternoon.”

Your fists tighten. She’s one to talk. She and Luc have hardly spoken to each other since the day of their wedding; on the rare occasion you do hear them speak, they’re picking fights. She gushes about her perfect marriage to anyone who will listen when her husband isn’t around, but their marriage—your uncle’s marriage, your parents’ marriage, every marriage around you except your grandparents’—is exactly the reason you’ve been so reluctant to date. The reason you asked Maeve to fake being your girlfriend, so your relatives would stop offering to set you up with someone. They all make each other fucking miserable.

And they think you and Maeve won’t last?

Okay yeah sure fine, you and Maeve aren’t a thing in the first place. Not really. You’re neighbors, and coworkers, and maybe friends now.

But since Maeve agreed to fake-date you, you’ve shared more with her about yourself than you have with...anyone, maybe. Definitely more than you’ve shared with anyone in your family. Definitely more than they share with their respective spouses, or each other.

Silly things, mostly. You like it when the front door of a house is painted bright, aqua or magenta or chartreuse. Your favorite flowers are all the yellow ones, like dandelions or forsythia, even though otherwise you’re not that fond of yellow. You always like the sad songs and love ballads more than the fun, fast-paced songs that steal the show. Things that don’t matter, except that they do, because now Maeve points out all the brightly colored doors when you walk back to your apartment building together after a shift.

Your mother and cousin-in-law are still talking. The conversation has moved on now—apparently your uncle has cheated on his wife, again—but you’re angry. Your skin prickles. Your nails bite your palms. You could nudge the door open and confront them, but confrontation has never been your forte.

Instead, you tiptoe to the kitchen and touch Maeve’s back.

She half turns, an eyebrow quirked. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I just. I need you to come with me.”

“Why?” Maeve asks, but she’s already following you back down the hall.

“Because my relatives suck and I need you to kiss me.”

You stop far enough from the sewing room that your mother and cousin-in-law probably won’t hear you. You turn toward Maeve, leaning against the wall with your arms crossed. It hasn’t occurred to you that the words I need you to kiss me actually just crossed your lips. Maeve’s dark eyes flicker over you, but she mirrors your posture and waits.

“They’re all in shitty marriages,” you say in a low voice, “except my mom, because she’s in a shitty divorce that was so shitty it was almost as bad as the marriage, except that it was over faster. But because we’re not attached at the hip or making googly eyes at each other, they think my relationship with my new girlfriend is a dead-end that’s going to end before it’s begun.”

Maeve snorts. “Fuck them. I may not make googly eyes at my fake girlfriend, but they’re nuts if they think I wouldn’t go to the ends of the earth and back for my fake girlfriend. Or, like, bring home takeout every night after work, or always do the laundry because they hate doing laundry, or whatever.”

That gets you for a second, because okay yeah sure fine it’s all fake, but Maeve still just kind of said she’d go to the ends of the earth for you. And bring you takeout. And always do laundry, which honestly might as well be a marriage proposal, because someone doing the laundry so you don’t have to is well and truly your love language.

“So.” Maeve’s eyes rove over your face. “Not that I object to kissing you, but how exactly is kissing going to help this situation?”

Right. You asked her to kiss you. Or more accurately stated slightly desperately and angrily that you need her to kiss you. You tense, trying to sound cool and nonchalant when you’re now thinking about kissing Maeve.

“When my mom and cousin-in-law come out of that room,” you say, nodding back toward the sewing room, “I want them to see us kissing. Like, really kissing. You know.”

The corner of Maeve’s mouth lifts again. “Really kissing. Gotcha.”

You flush. “Yeah. That. I just. I want...” You want some really great kissing. Focus. “I want them to see that we’re actually fucking into each other and super affectionate with each other even if we don’t feel like turning it into a performance so everyone else will believe we’re in love.”

Maeve tilts her head. “Even though it’ll literally be a performance so everyone will believe we’re in love?”

Your flush deepens. “Yeah.”

Maeve shifts closer, her eyes flickering over you. God, her eyes. Dark and intense and always just a little bit sad.

“I think I can sell being fucking into you,” she says quietly.

Shit, you think vaguely, poor choice of words on your part, because fucking and you are the only things you can think now that Maeve has repeated them back to you. But the thought slips away, because now Maeve is an inch away, her tall body curving over you, and her hands are cupping your face and oh my god she is actually really for real going to kiss you.

Her lips brush over yours, soft and sweet. Your breath hitches.

The door opens down the hall. As your relatives step out of the sewing room, Maeve crushes your lips under hers. Her hands slip into your hair, your arms wind around her neck, you pull her down, closer, closer, and now you’re kissing her back, your fingers playing in her hair just because they can, your eyes closed, your skin glorying in the warmth of her breath, the press of her body against yours.

Behind you, Luc’s shitty wife makes a sound of disgust and says, “Oh my god, get a room!” Your mother hisses, “Do you want to give your grandmother a heart attack? Right outside her sewing room!”

But (a) your grandma is safely outside by the grill, far away from the sudden make-out session, and (b) your grandma, if she saw you kissing a pretty girl, would almost certainly say something along the lines of “isn’t that sweet!” or “good for them!” And frankly you don’t remember why it was important to kiss Maeve where your mother and cousin-in-law would see it. Or whether there was a point to kissing Maeve at all, unless kissing Maeve was the point.

Your brain is preoccupied with Maeve’s lips on yours, her hands cradling your head, your body crushed beneath hers. But as your relatives slink past and disappear, as the sliding door in the kitchen opens and slams, as Maeve goes on kissing you like her life depends on it, as you fail to say something along the lines of okay we can stop now—as you fail to say, in fact, anything at all—you think, distantly: maybe this dating is less fake than I thought.

#answered #writing prompts #kissing prompts #short story #e's writing

[rynnaaurelius]

Hi! I went scrolling though your tumblr and stumbled upon one of your previous asks where you mentioned a carter-and-sadie-get-thrown-back-in-time au. I’d love to hear more of that!

Oh hell yeah let's do this. Mind, this AU is The Absolute Most at all times.

-Okay, so, first off, extremely obvious place for this to happen is at the end of The Serpent's Shadow, when they fail to banish Apophis for whatever reason during the final battle. This is a fun place, sure, but I think it's A, better for character development, and B, funnier, if they both bite it while in the Land of Demons with Zia and Setne. Let's say they both wind up in the Sea of Chaos, win the lottery spin of various universal outcomes, and boom. Time travel.

-This is totally how magic works. Uh-huh.

-Carter has a fucking aneurysm That's Not How The Force Works-style over this, trying to figure out what the fuck happened. It's great.

-Seriously, the PJO time travel thing is fun because Percy angsts and things go wrong and he tries to do everything Alone. The Kane Chronicles one is fun because Carter and Sadie have negative respect for authority, neither of them have any issue with throwing someone through a window to save time, and they both know about a dozen different ways to get it done.

-Oh yeah, speaking of throwing! They both wake up with massive headaches right after Julius explodes the Rosetta Stone. Carter stabs a bitch (Set) with a magic sword, then passes out because ~head trauma~.

-Also, bear in mind that these kids are fourteen and twelve and the House of Life just went to six years' worth of trouble to try and keep them as much out of the know as possible. And then they show up, kicking ass and taking godly names and knowing things that they really shouldn't, like they've been at this for years.

-Desjardins needs a drink. Or possibly six.

-Something something butterfly effect something something chaos. Anyway, things here are largely Their Past But Two Inches To The Right. Sometimes things change that are small but explainable, things that are big and inexplicable, and some are medium-sized and only resolved after an offhand comment from Zia a decade from now. The biggest thing here is Carter and Sadie struggling to manage everything.

-See, the fun thing in TKC is a lot of the big decisions? You can't just speedrun that shit! Re-opening the path of the gods is dangerous and takes time. Zia won't be in a spot where she's willing and/or able to take on Ra for years. Sadie can't just walk up to Walt and say that he should just merge with a god to fix all his problems when he's barely come to terms with Tut's curse.

-Fuck, they can't even go to the Duat and start shit with Apophis because. . .well, first off, they need to go and get the shadow, which they didn't even quite manage last time, because Setne and Land of the fucking Demons. Second off, no matter how powerful they are, starting shit with Apophis with an extra plan or two is pretty suicidal. Also! There are a lot of magicians who want to kill them! They need to be careful!

-Half of the gods are extremely freaked because Carter and Sadie's minds are Not Right and getting Horus and Isis to play ball is a chore, since they need that agreement do things like the combat avatar or casting really complicated spells, even if they have two-ish years of experience under their belts.

-This does not, to be clear, stop them from trying to speedrun The Red Pyramid, or this being their exact attitude towards their resident gods-in-the-head:

[Picture ID: GIF of a Black man pointing two fingers at his eyes, staring at someone off-screen with a serious expression, and saying, "Look at me. . .look at me. I'm the captain now." End ID]

-Since. . .well, uh, look. Carter and Sadie are incredibly hyper-competent. But they're also incredibly freaked teenagers who haven't had serious adult supervision in. . .a while. They also the ability to warp reality, and have the respective jobs of: Future king of the universe and his sister, saving the world from the snake who wants to eat the sun, and re-opening an really dangerous path of magic that the Reigning Magic Organization has said they'll kill for doing.

-Also, all their friends no longer have a fucking clue who they are. Carter already did this song and dance with Zia, too, which is. . .huh. Fascinating neuroses forming there.

-The Kane siblings are very fun here, because Sadie is Very Loudly Not Fine about very mundane changes, but not saying a peep about the things that are actually fucking her up until someone taps her on the shoulder at the wrong moment when she's gone vacant-eyed at the sight of her gran and she flinches like she got punched in the jaw, while Carter is Insistently Just Fine until Jaz says hi to him one morning and he starts sobbing.

-Bast doesn't count as supervision either, because she's a cat god. Bast wants to shake them by the scruffs of their neck until they start acting their own ages or she gets a satisfactory explanation for what's taken residence in their heads. Their magical auras are wrong.

-About the only fun part of dealing with the gods is when Sadie sucker-punches Serqet and goes What, Like It's Hard?, Legally Blonde-style, to a very confused and unnerved Zia. This move is not something she can make a pattern of, to be clear. But it feels good and she can do it now, so she does.

-I have no idea if Amos is definitely still possessed here by Set, for the angsty comedy of Carter and Sadie repeatedly knocking him out and dragging him around until they have time to Deal With That, or if it's ambiguous and possibly actually in someone else? And they have to go Holmes and Watson on the case.

(Of course, they may have different gods themselves altogether, and goddammit, I need to stop coming up with AUs)

-Like, yeah, sure, they know Set is the problem, their dad is probably fine, but they have to explain this in such a way that people don't think they're possessed! This is a very valid concern and leads to worries that they're terrorizing their younger selves by stealing their bodies or something.

(they're not. but it's a Recurring Thing that people think that they've possessed Younger Carter And Sadie)

-Anyway, they still get dragged to the First Nome, because Julius broke half a dozen rules of magician-ing, these kids are acting. . .like they've been possessed by Horus and Isis, to be honest.

-Carter tries to warn Zia about the being-possesed-by-a-god thing before Iskandar tries to save her life and inadvertently consign her to Watery Nightmare Coma Hell, to convince her to come with them, and thinking honesty may be the best policy--Zia's pretty morally upright, and more than trustworthy and willing to trust the Kanes, after all.

-This does not go as Carter planned.

-Sadie, remembering Iskandar fucking dies and not wanting to deal with the complicated and short reign of Desjardins as Chief Lector (or the whole guilt thing about him dying and just. . .complicated. Inconvenient. Just make sure it never happens!) by giving him a boost in the health department and extending his life.

-This does not go as Sadie planned.

-Oh, and neither of them know how to convince Nephthys to play ball since neither of them know Set's name, so even though they know how to defeat him, short out of an out-and-out brawl that there's no guarantee they can win, they need to get that! And Anubis is super suspicious and not into getting bullied by Isis into giving them a Feather of Truth!

-On the bright side, they decide to pull the Carter Will One Day Be Pharaoh Card and convince Sobek to be, like, marginally useful as the pharaoh's enforcer after Sadie dropkicked Serqet into next week.

-Meanwhile, Iskandar is alive, but reluctantly all They Should Probably Be Brought In And Restrained At Minimum. Zia is contemplative and ends up pursuing Carter and Sadie on her own after her powers start going sideways and Iskandar nearly does knock her out.

-So now Zia's a fugitive. Sort of. Iskandar really doesn't want to do it, but Desjardins is doing the Godlings Must Die thing, and a lot of the First Nome is on his side.

(He lightens up after the Kane siblings + Zia manage to save the world and certain things about Sadie and Iskandar's health come to life. Marginally)

-Anyway, things are chaotic, sort of working out for the better, but Carter and Sadie are about fifteen times more traumatized than they were last time.

-Also, Jaz is canonically from Nashville, so I say that when they decide to drop by Thoth's place to try and get an idea of What The Fuck happened, they find her and she joins their ridiculous quest to Save The World: Electric Boogaloo, because Highly Enthusiastic Southern Cheerleader Who Just Found Out She Can Commit Arson With Her Mind is a brilliant person to have along.

-I think the last big thing I have from this, beyond everything going so sideways (The House of Life is, like, ninety percent sure that Carter and Sadie are possessed, but can't do much about it at the moment beyond periodically trying to kill them) is the whole power thing.

-The urge to basically blast their way through everyone until they agree with what's up is strong, guys. Also, the urge to drag Setne out of the Underworld just to beat him up for a bit. Lots of power struggles and reminding themselves not to commit too many war crimes in the face of an oncoming apocalypse where they have no idea what their best plan is, and also, half the people they could trust off the bat this time? Don't trust 'em this time.

-Oh yeah, and for a while, Amos and Julius/Osiris aren't unconvinced that this isn't some sort of power play by Horus and Isis to leverage things in their favor, so. . .. Sad times. :(

-I am a big fan of "Time travel doesn't necessarily fix everything", but this trilogy is just so fucking chaotic, and so many of the biggest parts rely on character growth, and you can't force that! No matter how much you may get frustrated and want to, if you're Sadie and/or Carter.

#i got an ask! #the kane chronicles #tkc #carter kane #sadie kane #zia rashid #this is extremely ridiculous but very fun #so much pain all the way around and i love how fast things unravel #but yeah no the house of life is convinced that carter and sadie are possessed and to be fair! #it looks bad from an outside pov. the explanation is patently batshit #unfortunately it is true #these kids need therapy and they're not getting it anytime soon #okay sadie has emma and liz because there is no force more powerful on this planet #than extremely loyal teenage girl bffs #also jaz and carter and zia are bros. she's just really kind and optimistic at a time when the two of them need it #seriously i don't talk about much zia here because carter and sadie are Carter And Sadie but she is having the Worst Time here #the house of life fucked up! she has no idea if carter and sadie are even SAFE but they seem to be telling the truth and iskandar tried to #send her to watery nightmare coma hell #they also try not to dump it all on her at once but she does find out about how her entire village was killed by apophis to off her in the #worst way possible. so there's that

[gyumazing]

You're okay

Pairings: Yeojun x reader. Huening Kai x reader

-

"I'll spin it now, okay?" Soobin announced. He bent his body forward, stretching his arms to reach the empty water bottle on the middle.

It was a usual Saturday night and the school's event organizer just had to throw a party 2 days before finals. Pretty reasonable if you say so yourself. And, to make things even better, attendance was mandatory.

So fun!

The party you could say was decent at most. You saw a couple of people just like you who were dreading to go home but there were also some that seemed pretty hyped. Particularly, those 7-10 people huddled into a circle, looking relatively drunk and tipsy.

And surprisingly, they were your friends. Take note, were your friends. Eversince you confessed your feelings to Yeonjun and got regected, you've been avoiding your friend group like a plague. They were Yeonjun's friends before you even came into the picture. So, sticking with them would just complicate things.

"Aren't you gonna to join them?" You heard Kai's voice blending with the muffled music sound. You looked at his side. He was wearing yet another hoodie and a pair of khaki shorts. His hair was slicked back, revealing his forehead. And honestly, you were quite confused why the man was still accompanying you after ghosting them.

You took a sip on your wine glass and shrugged.

"I'm not really in the mood." That was a lie. Of course you wanted to join them; you wanted to have fun. But then, you also didn't want to make the atmosphere awkward. You shrugged. "You? Aren't you gonna to join them?" You sipped on your wine again.

He shrugged too.

"Yeah. But, I want to accompany you."

You leaned your elbows on the countertop and poured wine onto your glass.

"I don't need it." you replied nonchalantly. It only took hearing Kai muster a disheartened 'Oh' for you to bite your tounge back out of guilt. Well that didn't come off right. "I mean, I do appreciate your presence. Really. But, I'll be fine here on my own."

You expected Kai to leave but he stayed.

You took a sip on your wine again and returned your gaze back to your other 'friends'.

"Ah, no, get away." You saw Selene helplessly leaning her entire body to the left, hoping that a few centimeter difference would save her from getting landed on. And it did. The bottle pointed on the space between her and Yeonjun instead.

"And... It's Yeonjun Hyung! Yes!" Beomgyu celebrated. Hands were raised due to excitement..

"Yah, Selene! That landed on your spot! This is cheating." Yeonjun protested. He looked weirdly violated and happy both at the same time.

You heard Selene giggling. She stucked her tounge out.

"No it didn't."

Yeonjun groaned.

"This is unfair." He looked at her fondly. He was trying his very best to act annoyed but is clearly failing.

Ouch.

You heard something shattering. Was it a champagne bottle? Was it a wine glass? Or, was it something else?

"Hey." Somebody nudged you. You immediately felt something hot, sharp, and throbbing so you looked down only to see blood oozing out of your palms. "You're bleeding." Kai whispered as he grab a hold of your hands.

You looked around and you saw your completely shattered wine glass beside you.

When did that happen?

"Jun, i told you! It's not on my side. Look, it points at your knees." You heard Selene laughing again. Her sweet giggles were echoing inside your head. And for some unknown reason, it made you want to crumple into a ball. "You better be done with your dare before I come back." Selene teased Yeonjun as she stood up to get drinks.

Yeonjun let out a defeated sigh but his smile seemed to tell otherwise.

He looked so happy.

How is it that you could still hear something shattering when your wine glass was already broken?

Why could you feel pain on your chest when it's your palms that had been cut?

"Shit." You heard Kai muttering a curse as he helplessly held onto your bleeding palms. "Stay here okay? I'll look for the first aid kit." You heard him say before he left.

In all honesty, you couldn't care any less. There was no greater pain than the one you feel bottling up inside you right now.

It was destructive.

"Now, Yeonjun hyung..." Beomgyu wiggled his brows up and down like a Seagull. "Hmmm, let me think." Beomgyu added while laughing like a a mad-man.

Yeonjun side-eyed the younger lad.

"I swear to God Choi Beomgyu if you say something funny I'll kick your butt." Yeonjun warned.

Beomgyu giggled like a giddy kid.

"Ah, don't worry, Hyung. You'll thank me for this." He proceeded on nudging Yeonjun's shoulders while looking at him meaningfully.

"Just say it already. Damn it." Yeonjun groaned.

"Call me master and massage my foot every afternoon for 1 year straight." Beomgyu declared. He immediately snickered as he saw Yeonjun's face all scrunched up, looking disgusted.

Yeonjun hit the younger lad.

"Ouch. Geez. Old man can't even take a joke." Beomgyu threw Yeonjun a 'boo' sign but thought of a new dare almost immediately. "Okay, I dare you to kiss the prettiest girl in this room instead." Beomgyu pointed towards Yeonjun using the empty water bottle that they used to spin earlier.

And, beomgyu's words became a trigger that broke everyone into murmuring.

You could see Yeonjun's ears slowly turning red.

"Pass?" Beomgyu threw the older lad a mischievous grin. "Come on, Hyung! Hurry!" Beomgyu whined.

"Shut up." Yeonjun dismissed the younger lad.

But, you saw Yeonjun's eyes wander throughout the room as if he was looking for somebody. You suddenly found his cold brown eyes meeting yours. And, for a split delirious second, you thought that maybe it's you. Maybe he'll come to your side and tell you that he didn't mean to regret you because he actually liked you.

But of course he didn't.

He doesn't like you. Not now, not tomorrow, not ever.

You smiled bitterly.

"Hyung don't tell me your really gonna do it?" Taehyun spoked excitedly. His questions were automatically answered when Yeonjun got up and walked towards an oblivious Selene standing next to the bar counter.

The other boys stood up and lurked behind the two.

"Wow he's really going to do it, huh?" Soobin chuckled as he chewed down on his Mandu. "You know what? You're crazy." He pointed at a seemingly entertained Beomgyu.

Beomgyu made a face before gawking back at Yeonjun and Selene again.

"Hey," Yeonjun uttered shyly as he stood behind Selene. Due to his height, it's almost as if he was towering over the girl's petite frame. And, you hated that. You hated the fact that they looked good together. Like a pair made by God himself.

"Huh? Jun, why are you here? Are you already done with your dare?" Selene looked up at Yeonjun with a sly smile.

Yeonjun shook his head.

"No,"

Selene groaned.

"Don't tell me you're still pushing that the bottle landed on my side! It's on your side!" She rolled her eyes.

Yeonjun scrunched his nose. His smile reaching his prettu eyes.

"No, it's not that. I'm actually here to do my dare." Yeonjun replied.

One

Two

Three

Four

You didn't know how long you were holding your breathe for.

But, now you now know that it was your heart shattering all along.

You felt pathetic.

"Then do it." Selene shrugged as she took a sip on her newly fetched piña colada.

Yeonjun nodded.

"I will. But, don't be mad okay?"

"Why would I even be mad?" Selene rolled her eyes again.

Yeonjun smiled.

"Okay then, I'll do it."

You stood on your spot frozen. You didn't know what to do. You didn't know what to feel.

You saw Yeonjun leaning towards Selene. But, before you could even witness the most heatbreaking scene in your entire life, you suddenly felt a pair of hands on top of your shoulders, turning you around so fastly that you couldn't even process what was happening.

You looked up only to be greeted by Kai's worried expression.

"Kai?" Your voice cracked.

You were about to turn back around, ready to see reality gor yourself, but Kai was quick to engulf you into a tight and warm hug.

"Don't. Just cry, I'm here." he whispered as he rubbed soothing circles on your back.

You were crying?

You wiped your cheeks with the back of your palms to confirm. And, you were indeed crying.

Nonetheless, you still tried to convince the man in front of you otherwise.

"I'm not crying. I'm okay."

You felt him nodding while looking at you fondly.

"You're okay." He nodded.

-end-

#yeonjun #hueningkai #txt post #txt fluff #fanfic #txt #tomorrow by together #angst #choi yeonjun #kai #CG15writes - ⁠✿

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Quake (2018)

I never thought I’d see a sequel to The Wave - one of the best disaster movies I've ever seen. When I heard about The Quake, I shook my head. “How often can one man find himself in the middle of a disaster?” Nevertheless, I gave the film a chance and now, I’ve got to hand it to writers John Kåre Raake and Harald Rosenløw-Eeg. This is a good sequel. It follows the characters’ stories in a believable way. While it isn’t on the same level as the first, fans of the 2015 film should check out this second story.

Following the events of The Wave, Kristian Eikjord (Kristoffer Joner) is hailed a hero by newspapers but remains paralyzed by guilt - he failed to save so many. His marriage to Idun (Ane Dahl Torp) has fallen apart, he and his son Sondre (Jonas Hoff Oftebro) have become estranged. While trying to make amends with his daughter, Julia (Edith Haagenrud-Sande), he looks into some notes an old colleague sent him. They warn of an impending quake that’s sure to hit Oslo.

I should clarify Kristian's now-deceased former colleague sent him the notes knowing - based on his previous exploits - that he would take them seriously and investigate whether the numbers made sense. They do, meaning there is a quake coming… eventually. One of the reasons this film isn’t as good as the first is the pacing. On its own, it’s fine. All of the time spent with the characters allows you to know them and care about their safety when they are in peril. The pressure builds as the numbers are tallied and the scale of the catastrophe is measured. It’ll be beyond anything the country’s ever seen. Problem is, we’ve already kinda seen these scenes in The Wave. Not quite, but kinda. You know the characters, you “get” them. When’s the titular quake going to start?!

The drama featured throughout is genuine and often, heartbreaking. As someone who's seen Kristian at his most heroic, it's hard seeing him broken. Julia isn't so little any more. Story-wise this means she can be a more active character, which ups the stakes. For Kristian, she's the one member of his family he might be able to hold onto. Oslo is much bigger than Geiranger and there’s personal drama among the Eikjord family. We want them to be a family again - maybe this disaster will be just the thing to do it?

Everything you want from an earthquake disaster film is here. The scale may not be as big as something like San Andreas but that’s what makes it better. You believe this scenario. The characters make logical decisions and you can see that they stand a chance. At the same time, the realistic scale makes the danger genuine. Most of the post-quake peril is found in a partially collapsed building - a great setting for one nail-biting sequence after another. It’s so big and nerve-wracking it winds up throwing you off. When the film cuts to Sondre off on his own at the University, I was certain it was to set up a big second calamity… but it really doesn’t. It's more realistic but I might’ve liked a bit of fantasy to get three big scenes, instead of just two.

In this pair of disaster films, The Wave is the main course. The Quake is a nice follow-up; the desert. It’s got all the pieces required to make a great disaster movie. The destruction, the drama, the writing, the tension, the special effects and the performances needed to make it both convincing and engaging. If you see one, check out the other, with the caveat that the first is the better movie. (Original Norwegian with English Subtitles, July 5, 2019)

#The Quake #movies #films #movie reviews #film reviews #John Andreas Andersen #John Jare RaajemGarakd Risebkiw-Eeg #Kristoffer Joner #Ane Dahl Torp #Jonas Hoff Oftebro #Edith Haagenrud-Sande #Kathrine Thorborg Johansen #2018 movies #2018 films

[ficsnooneaskedfor]

Call the Twi'lek Midwife

Chapter 53: One and the Same

Word count: 5.8k

Series rating: M

Chapter Summary: Citali's father reflects on the past as some unexpected allies attempted to rally him. Tech, Omega, and AZI operate on Citali and hope they all make it through this test.

So sorry for the delay! For those who don't know, I unfortunately got Covid about a month ago and it's very difficult recovering physically but also brain fog has made writing very difficult (so if there are spelling mistakes, quality of writing is lower etc with this chapter that is why)

TW: depictions of slavery, death mention, pregnancy loss mention, implied SA mention, depiction of alcoholism, depictions of medical procedures (not super descriptive but if that sort of this is upsetting for anyone, maybe skip this one).

Definitions of medical terms for anyone at the end of the chapter.

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Nachi stared blankly at Ahsoka, Rex, Gregor, and Wolffe for so long they thought he hadn’t heard what had been said but he had. We’re friends of your daughter, Citali. He was shocked, trying to fathom how his little girl had befriended four soldiers. At least he assumed the young Togruta was a soldier as well, it was a logical explanation for why she was accompanied by three clone troopers. The sound of another person speaking his daughter’s name triggered memories of school plays, reading to her, teaching her to protect herself but one memory came to the forefront of his mind. It wasn’t one of Citali exactly. No, this was a different kind of memory, as clear and crisp as the day he lived it. One he had reflected on in shame many times since coming here. 

“All right, enough of this,” Cid said to him quietly but with unmistakable bite in her voice. She punctuated her irritation with him by harshly ripping the blanket off him. He had disposed of the bed he had shared with his wife but even so he found it nearly impossible to sleep in the bedroom most of the time, electing to drift into oblivion on the couch. “Get up. Take a shower, brush those pointy teeth of yours, and change into something presentable. Right. Now.” 

“Why?” he slurred, turning over to face his dead wife’s best friend and two bottles fell to the floor. He hadn’t had a drink since before Citali was born, coming close to a relapse only after Shi’ari’s last miscarriage, one of many but no less devastating to both of them. Nachi started his old habit again after she and their long-desired second child died. Cid picked up the bottles in her hands, staring at them before walking to the kitchen to throw the bottles away.  

“Because you’re gonna sober up and get Sunny from school this afternoon, that’s why.” 

“Citali can walk home with Melita like she always does. School’s only a few blocks away.” Nachi rolled over, burying his face into a cushion, ready for the relief that only sleep gave him when he heard the sound of glass shattering. His drunkenness seemed to lessen in an instant when he realized Cid had smashed the bottles against the kitchen floor in frustration. He’d known Cid for years and they had always got on well. She’d lost her temper with him once or twice but never like this. Nachi was taken aback but not angry for even at his drunkest, he was not a man quick to anger.  

“Are you out of your mind? The hell is your problem, Cid?” he said quietly, trying to convey that he was not upset but rather confused.  

“You really have to ask that? Look at yourself! You’ve been a ghost for months, you’re drinking again, and haven’t been working. And you have the FUCKING audacity to ask me what my problem is?!” 

“What do you want from me, Cid? Huh? My boy is dead, I watched my wife bleed out in front of me, and there was nothing I could do to save them. I failed them both. My life is in shambles.” 

“And I’m sorry about that, I really am,” Cid said softening some, the anger in her eyes transitioning to sadness and perhaps regret at what she had just done. “You’re not the only one who’s grieving. Shi’ari was like a sister to me, I loved her as much as you did. And Alik...” Cid seemed like she couldn’t even finish what she wanted to say and Nachi was honestly relieved she didn’t.  

“But Citali was in that room right along with us and she is a child . She’s completely traumatized. She won’t let anyone see her cry, that’s not normal for her. She hardly talks, she dropped out of the school musical ‘cause she doesn’t want to sing anymore, she escapes by throwing herself into her homework and books. You’ve been so consumed by your own grief and guilt that you can’t see how badly she’s coping no matter how many times I talk to you about it. She’s being just as destructive as you are. Citali needs to be our number one priority if she’s gonna grow up to be even somewhat well-adjusted but you’ve completely checked out. I know this is a hard time for you and I’m willing to help as much as I can, but I’m doing everything. That is unfair to me but most of all to Citali. She didn’t just lose her mother and brother that day, she lost you too.” Nachi did not take his bloodshot eyes off Cid as she spoke. Everything she was saying was true, he needed to be man enough to listen to it.  

“You’re allowed to mourn but you do not have the option of just...giving up like this. You keep this up and the bank is going to foreclose on the apartment. That little girl needs support and a stable home now more than ever. You used to be the most loving, supportive father I’ve ever seen but the last few months you’ve become someone I don’t recognize. I don’t want to say this but you need to figure out a way to get your act together so you and I can give Citali what she needs...or she’s staying with me.” This was no bluff, Nachi knew Cid meant it. He had been stone-faced throughout the conversation, tears prickling in the corners of his eyes. A few spilled onto his cheeks as his eyes narrowed. Now he was angry. Angry and afraid. 

“You’ve no right to take my child from me, Cid. Do you hear me? I am her father!” 

“Then start acting like one!” 

Nachi was drawn out of the past by the sound of someone saying his name, the clone with blond hair, and his heart sank with dread. “Kikalekki, mother of the universe, show me mercy,” he prayed aloud in Twi’leki before switching back to Basic in his thick accent he’d never lost despite his years on Ord Mantell. “Please sir, I beg you...do not tell me my child has come to this place.” 

“No, no,” Rex whispered, resisting the urge to put a hand on him to reassure the frail-looking man. With what he’d suffered through, physical contact could be distressing rather than a comfort but perhaps his words could offer Nachi some. “She is safe at home and very well.” Rex could see the relief wash over the older man’s features and though he was tempted to tell him more, surely he was desperate to know details of how his daughter was doing, now was not the time. Nachi seemed to recognize that too. 

“I am Ashla. This is Captain Rex, Captain Gregor, and Commander Wolffe. We want to free you and all these people. We believe we can do this with your help.” 

Nachi shook his head. “You all have risked much to come here and I thank you...but you must leave. Perhaps you could extract me from this place, maybe a family or two, but there are hundreds of slaves in this camp. It’s impossible to save us all and I will not dishonor myself by fleeing while my people suffer. I would rather die with them than be the only one to see their prayers come to fruition. Go now, before you’re spotted. If you see my daughter... please tell her I love her and I’m sorry.” He turned to walk away but was stopped when he felt Gregor’s strong hand on his shoulder. 

“Sir, your people outnumber the guards ten to one. With our assistance you can fight back,” Gregor said desperately. He, like the others, was sickened by what they had witnessed the past few days and wanted to put an end to it. Citali had done so much for all of them and her father seemed like a good, honorable man. He wanted them to reunite. 

“Do you think we have not tried?” Nachi said, trying not to sound offended. “There are many warriors and even a few of your brothers among us.” Ahsoka, Rex, Gregor, and Wolffe looked at each other astonished. In their days of reconnaissance, they had not seen any clones but Nachi had no reason to be dishonest with them. “The last time we attempted an uprising, they butchered innocent people.” The anguish with which he said the word “butchered” sent a chill down the battle-hardened soldiers' spines. “Young, old, the injured...it gave them an excuse to murder those they deemed unproductive. And our women were...” Nachi had seen much cruelty in his life, especially when he was a young warrior trying to make change on his home planet, but the atrocities he’d seen their captors commit shocked even him. He couldn’t speak it out loud but the faces of his would-be rescuers told him they understood. “Innocent people who had no part in fighting will be the ones that suffer if this fails.” 

“Innocent people are suffering, and will continue to suffer and die if we do nothing,” Ahsoka said, sensing his fear.   

“Wouldn’t you rather go out fighting than continue living like this?” Rex said, staring at his face, realizing Citali had more of her father in her than he thought. He’d seen pictures of him at the party but standing in his presence the resemblance was more obvious even in near darkness.  

“Yes, I would,” Nachi relented. “But not everyone shares that sentiment.” 

“Then you must convince them,” Wolffe said. Nachi heard the haunted quality in his voice, the sound of a man trying to hold it together to complete a mission that was personally important to him.  

Ahsoka stretched out with the Force and felt that Nachi’s life was nearing its end. Her best guess was he had a few weeks at most if they did not get him out. The shadow of death and despair lingered over the camp like clouds of dust stirred up in the spice mines- he was not the only one with limited time. Nachi shook his head. 

“I cannot do what you ask of me. It is hopeless, I’m truly sorry.” 

Time for a different approach Ahsoka thought as he began to turn to walk away again.  

“Citali misses you terribly,” Ahsoka said and in the silence that followed Nachi’s face hardened. He was fighting back tears, surprised at how emotional he was becoming. Of course it was true, of course his daughter missed him, but hearing another person acknowledge it hit him hard. “She spoke of you with such love and admiration, she showed me the books you made, told me all you did to help her succeed in life... building her house, transcribing her school assignments from a datapad to paper so she could read them more easily. Those are the actions of a father who would do anything for his child. She wouldn’t want you to die like this... your wife and son wouldn’t want that for you either. I know you are afraid but...” 

Ahsoka recalled what Citali’s mother had spoken to her heart, a message she thought was for her but perhaps it was for another person too: the man in front of her. “Ananvil vulis ohk uru ootay kih,” Ahsoka said in less than perfect Twi’leki but Nachi was stunned, his mouth agape, and she knew her suspicion had been correct.  

Love and courage are one and the same. It was something Shi’ari used to say to him in moments of doubt to inspire him to do what he thought he could not. She said it frequently when he gave up drinking, he heard those words echoing in his ears the day Cid had given him the ultimatum he needed to make a change. No one, not even Citali, knew this. Then Nachi felt a strange presence as if someone was standing beside him, feeling warmed in the cold air. It reminded him of the rejuvenation of a spring day after a brutal winter, the glory of dawn breaking over mountaintops, of his wife, his son, and Citali. Rationally he knew they were not there but that did not stop him from searching for a moment. He eyed the young woman, catching a glimpse of something metallic hanging on either side of her waist beneath her poncho. It no longer mattered how she knew those words, he needed to hear them and he had.  

Nachi straightened his back, standing tall and proud, feeling more like the man he once was even if he did not look like him. A few minutes ago, he had accepted that his death was drawing near but now he was itching for a fight. One they might not win but if they did, his people would be free and he might be a part of his daughter’s life again. Giving up was no longer an option. 

“I’ve lingered here for far too long, I must go. I’ll find a way to persuade all whom I can, you have my word. Meet me in the outhouse behind the slave quarters this time tomorrow evening. That is the only place we can come up with a plan together without drawing suspicion of my absence.”  

Ahsoka and the clones nodded their heads, feeling their own resolve intensify by the sight of the starving, injured, dying yet strong and brave man before them. The past year may have dampened his fire but it had not been extinguished completely, all that was needed was a little fanning of the flames. Nachi turned to leave, this time for real, and added, “And young lady, best keep those lightsabers out of sight when the fight begins if at all possible. We don’t want the Empire searching for you more than they already are when this is done.” Ahsoka suppressed a smile.  

Observant and trying to take care of someone he just met. Citali is certainly her father’s daughter.  

“Morning, my loves,” Citali said energetically, giving Omega a hug. Her family was around the kitchen table, some sitting, others standing. I wish we could have a bigger table in here. Citali had never considered the possibility she would have such a large family one day when she and her father built this house. Perhaps they could make an addition to the kitchen at some point in the future but that would require digging up part of the garden she had been working on since before the foundations of the house were laid. Maybe they could build a new living room and make a dining room in their current one, but that was something to worry about another day. Other things were on her mind at the moment: peculiar, fragmented dreams she’d had of her father with Ahsoka, Rex, Gregor, and Wolffe that she woke up praying were real and the operation she was undergoing in a few short hours. 

Her family looked down guiltily at their plates, Wrecker appearing the most regretful by the mountain of food piled on his. “It’s all right,” Citali tried to assure them. “Just because I can’t eat or drink anything doesn’t mean you have to stop. Enjoy your breakfast, please. I just wanted to spend some time with you.” 

“How are you feeling today?” Hunter asked as they all resumed eating, standing up so Citali could sit in his chair. 

“Still in some pain but nowhere near as bad.” Then she directed her attention to Tech and Omega. “Have all the supplies been put together?”  

“AZ is double-checking that we have everything,” Omega said. “Have you decided what type of anesthesia you want to use?” 

“Well, Iirde unfortunately isn’t going to be able to assist today, she has a patient in labor. She said she’ll come if things progress quickly but her patient is a human primip, so we’re most likely on our own.” 

“What is a...p-primip?” Crosshair asked curiously, unfamiliar with the term. 

“Someone giving birth for the first time,” Wrecker said quickly to Crosshair’s surprise. “Humans tend to have longer, more difficult labors compared to other near-human species, ‘specially if it’s the first time.” What in the universe? Crosshair thought. "I’ve uh...learned some stuff here and there.” 

“So taking that into consideration," Citali said, trying desperately not to burst out laughing at the perplexed expression that lingered Crosshair's face. "I think an epidural or spinal is the best option. I’ll be awake to advise you guys. Well, as much as I can.” Citali knew, as did everyone else, that she would be of little help if something went wrong. Midwives were not surgeons, after all. Any knowledge she had about operations was purely theoretical, educated guesses, or very basic. All she would really be able to do was maybe keep Omega and Tech calm. Tech’s hours upon hours of research in recent months and Omega’s prior experience made them far more qualified for this than Citali. AZI was also an invaluable resource of skills and knowledge, which was the only reason Tech and Omega felt comfortable attempting this.  

“Doing an epidural on me will also be good practice for Anaasa,” Citali added. 

“There we go,” Echo said chuckling. “I knew that had something to do with it.” 

“That isn’t the only factor, I swear,” Citali said. "General anesthesia and sedatives make me extremely nauseous and groggy. I don't want to deal with all that." Echo put his arm around her, kissing the top of her head. 

“I know, sweetheart.” 

“If that is what you desire, I believe it would be in your best interest if we let AZI give you the epidural,” Tech said, bouncing his leg anxiously under the table. Citali felt the vibrations reverberate through the floor. 

“That’s fine,” Citali said smiling at him but Tech’s face remained frowning as did Omega’s. “What is it?” Were they having second thoughts? “Listen, if you two aren’t comfortable doing this operation, we don’t have to do it. We can call this off, I won’t be upset in the slightest.” Citali knew this was asking a lot of them. 

“It’s nothing like that,” Tech said looking across the table at Omega. They were battling self-doubt but that was not going to stop them, they wanted to help Citali. Something else was bothering them. Omega pulled a file up on her datapad and handed it to Citali.  

“I came across this study about bacta usage in endometriosis patients from the Galactic College of Gynecology & Obstetrics,” Omega said. “It was published just before the fall of the Republic so the data is good.” Citali had to read it twice to fully understand what she was reading and then it sank in.  

Endometriosis was a condition that caused the abnormal growth of tissue similar to the lining of the uterus to grow on other parts of the body. In Citali’s case, a scan by AZI revealed lesions growing on the outside of her uterus, ovaries, bladder, and throughout her pelvic cavity. The study showed that bacta use after surgery caused these lesions to grow back faster and oftentimes worse. Twenty thousand near-human beings had participated in the study, with endometriosis recurring within five years in 93% of the experimental group who used bacta while the control group was at 40%.  

“Wow,” Citali said, trying not to be disappointed. Bacta was a miracle substance, as evident by the fact Crosshair was having breakfast with them, but it had its limitations and this appeared to be one of them. “Can’t argue with statistics, guess bacta is out. Well done, Omega.” Her praise made Omega happy, she liked making Citali proud, but the girl felt awful having to give her bad news. Like it was her fault, as irrational as that was. She wondered if Citali ever felt that way with her patients. “How did you find this?” 

“From a forum on the holonet last night. It’s for medical students and professionals to share information with each other that the Empire has been trying to change, hide, or make money off of. They post all sorts of things: studies, herbal alternatives for medications that are hard to get, how to reprogram astromechs to do medical procedures...it's super cool.” 

“That is super cool,” Citali said. “You’re so resourceful, Omega. I’m glad you found this, I never would have known. Just...be cautious on the holonet. Don’t tell anyone your name, where you live, or anything else that could be used to identify you.” 

“Don’t worry, Melita's talked to me about being safe when I’m on the holonet a lot and I learned from watching Tech how to make my datapad’s signal untraceable. Even if the Empire finds that forum, they won’t know I was on it.” 

Citali couldn’t help laughing. Omega was going to be a force to be reckoned with someday. She already was.  

“So, what are we going to do?” Omega said, trying to conceal her concern. “We’ll be on call again in a few days, it’s going to be very hard for you to attend births if you’re recovering from surgery.” What choice did Citali have? It was unrealistic to think she could work or assist with Anaasa’s operation if she experienced the same pain she had yesterday.  

“We’ll go through with this as planned. I’ll figure something out.” 

When they arrived at the hospital there was some evidence that animals had gotten inside and roamed the halls, but the surgical suite and recovery room were as spotless as they left them. Tech, AZI, and Omega began sterilizing and prepping everything while Citali and Echo changed in the recovery room. The rest of the family had stayed at home to minimize contamination and not make an already stressful situation more so. Echo was insistent that he wanted to be there, if only to hold Citali’s hand.  

Omega and Tech scrubbed their hands and forearms with harsh soap in awkward silence, both wanting the other to acknowledge the magnitude of what it was they were attempting to do. Omega decided she would have to initiate the conversation if it was going to happen. 

“Are you...feeling scared?” Omega asked shyly.  

“More than I care to admit,” Tech replied. He’d had a hard time sleeping last night, unable to stop thinking of his past failures and if this would be another one. 

“If it makes you feel better, I am too. I... keep thinking about how upset I was after we removed Crosshair’s inhibitor chip. I’m scared if something goes wrong today, I won’t be able to do my job again.” Tech wanted to give his sister a hug but if he did, they’d both have to wash their hands all over again. Instead, he tried to think of something to say to console her. 

“I understand why you feel that way but you have the most surgical experience out of all of us here, apart from AZI. And a laparoscopy is a much less invasive procedure than what we did with Crosshair. If you do become frightened though, that is all right Omega. You may step out or stop at any time.” I however do not have that option.  

Omega almost felt as if she knew what Tech was saying to himself and now she was the one longing to hug him. He was trying to conceal his fear, she heard it in his voice. 

“You can do this, Tech. I know you can. You’re good at fixing things.” AZI hovered over and helped Tech put his gloves on. 

“Droids, the ship, those types of things.” 

“Exactly,” Omega said, AZI now helping her put gloves on. “You’re good at fixing machines and the body is just a very complex, living machine. Citali’s isn’t working as well as it can and we're going to fix it. Maybe if you think of it like that, you won’t be so afraid.” 

Tech’s smile was hidden behind his mask but Omega could see in his eyes that she had gotten through to him. “A bit of an oversimplification but I suppose you are correct in a way. You have a unique way of seeing things. Thank you, Omega.” 

When they were ready for her, Citali and Echo walked into the surgical suite, Citali wearing a hospital gown while Echo was covered head to toe like his siblings. Omega placed an IV in Citali’s hand, a skill she’d learned on Kamino but she was a little out of practice. Citali was given fluids and AZI started cleaning the epidural site on her back while she leaned against Echo, Tech and Omega watching closely.  

“Are you certain you do not want to use general anesthesia, Ms. Citali?” the medical droid asked. “Being conscious while being operated on may be emotionally distressing for you.” 

“I appreciate your concern AZ,” Citali said, glad to see that he was learning to be more mindful of patients’ emotions. “This is the best option and besides, people who have operative births are awake most of the time. I’ll be fine.” 

“Very well. I will administer the local anesthetic momentarily. You will feel a burning sensation.”  

AZI warned her before he did it but Citali was still not prepared. She took a sharp inhale and Echo held her tighter. “This part will be over soon, Citali. You’re doing great,” he said to her in Mante’leki. Truth be told, she was handling this fine so far but that could have been because Echo was with her. 

Once the epidural catheter was in place, Citali was numb from the waist down, and the medunit was programmed they got started. Echo stayed by Citali’s head, unable to look at what was being done to his wife and fighting off the fuzzy but horrific memories of his time on Skako Minor this was reminding him of. Something he had tried to prepare for and finding it easier than in the past to keep them at bay. He held her hands and spoke to her while she focused on her breathing and thought of the things that made her happy: Echo, her family, Snowball, her garden, her mom and brother, and her father. Oftentimes when she thought of him all she could feel was longing and sadness, imagining unspeakable horrors had befallen him, but today she felt love, hope, and for a reason she could not explain...courage. It was a good feeling and made it easier for her to relax. She tried to send that same energy to Tech and Omega, not knowing if that was possible but she tried anyway.  

When the tiny incisions were made, the camera and surgical instruments were inserted, and AZI began excising lesions on Citali’s uterus Tech and Omega did relax considerably. There was no turning back now and there was some peace in knowing that. Unlike learning to fight with her brothers or how to deliver babies and make herbal medicines with Citali, operating on people was something Omega had an immense amount of experience with. The sight of blood and internal organs did not phase her one bit and she knew exactly what was needed to assist AZI. And she found it all fascinating as she always had. She was so confident that Tech followed her lead as he got more used to the feeling all this. At one point Omega noticed that Citali seemed a little disturbed by seeing the internal structures of her body, turning her head away from the monitor that showed what they were doing. 

“You holding up okay, Citali?” Omega said, loudly in case the clear drape separating them and her mask muffled her voice.  

“I am, thank you for checking on me,” Citali said, Echo rubbing her shoulders.

“You’re doing great, Citali,” Echo said lovingly. Now Tech was aware that Citali was having some difficulty. 

“We can turn the screen in a different direction if that would help you,” he said.  

“I’m all right, really. It’s kind of cool to see actually, some parts are just...not pleasant.” Citali was not squeamish in these scenarios usually but it was different when it was her own body.  

“All right. Remember, if you have any breakthrough pain push that button to your left side and a bolus of medication will be administered through your epidural catheter,” Tech reminded her. Citali gave him a thumbs up, closed her eyes, and focused on Echo’s sweet words. 

As the operation continued, AZI, Omega, and Tech began to see that Citali not only had lesions but some of her organs were adhered together with scar tissue as well. This was much more complex than anticipated. What should have made them afraid however only made Tech and Omega more determined to be successful. No wonder she’s been in such pain they both thought when they saw the extent of her condition. They loved Citali and did not want her in pain anymore, they had to carry on if that was going to be possible. AZI cut and burned the lesions and adhesions away while Omega and Tech focused primarily on controlling bleeding, assisting AZI where needed, and monitoring her vitals. They also kept Citali updated on what they were doing, knowing that would make her feel more at ease. Her body might be a “machine” but she was not. 

It took many hours but the surgery finished without any complications, apart from a monitor on the medunit giving an impossibly low blood pressure reading. That would be easy enough to fix and Echo made plans to return tomorrow to do so. Citali was then moved to the recovery room for monitoring where AZI and Echo cared for her. Omega and Tech cleaned up and it wasn’t until they threw their blood-stained gloves and gowns away, looked at each other with wide smiles and embraced that it hit them.  

They had done it- they had performed an operation and Citali was okay. True, they needed to keep an eye on her and AZI had done the most difficult tasks but Tech and Omega had accomplished their goals. They had remained level-headed, done their jobs, and most importantly, did something that would improve Citali’s health and quality of life.   

Anaasa’s operation was still a far more daunting task than what they had done but it seemed a little more possible now.  

Wrecker was blowing bubbles for Marina as the baby sat on a blanket between Hunter's legs. Snowball was running through the grass and leaping into the air to catch them, making Marina giggle loudly to the amusement of her mother and Crosshair sitting nearby. Cid on the other hand was pacing back and forth across the garden as she’d been doing for a while. 

Melita had called Cid on her comm after everyone left to let her know Citali was having surgery and as she suspected would happen, Cid showed up less than thirty minutes later to wait for Citali to return home. It had taken every bit of self-control Cid had not to go to the hospital and barge into the operating room.  

“Cid, why don’t you sit down and relax with Crosshair and me?” Melita asked gently as she combed a section of her hair. “Echo said she’s doing well, they just need to monitor her for a bit and wait for the epidural to wear off. I’m sure they’ll be back soon, don’t stress yourself out.” 

“I’ll feel better when I see her myself.” Cid went back to pacing when Melita got an idea. 

“If you’re not gonna sit then can you help me with my hair for a bit? My fingers are getting tired.” 

“Okay Princess,” she said immediately, Melita smiling at Cid’s old nickname for her. Cid was fully aware that Melita was just giving her a distraction but she could not refuse the request. It had been a long time since she helped Melita with her hair, having done so when they both frequented the Ulihira family’s apartment when she was young. One of Melita's favorite things to do as a little girl was to play dress-up. When she came over, she and Citali would wear the different outfits her mother had sewn for them, which oftentimes "required" a change in hair-do. The Trandoshan’s claws were not very nimble so she never became as good as Shi'ari, but they were quite convenient for parting Melita's hair and Cid had developed a technique over time for two-strand twists, a relatively easy style which happened to be what Melita had currently chosen. The distraction worked as intended for it did not seem long before Cid and everyone else heard the Marauder approaching.  

Omega landed the ship close to the house instead of its usual spot hidden among trees and brush, and Citali stepped out supported by Echo and Tech while AZI trailed behind them. She walked gingerly as Cid rushed to her. “Aunt Cid, you’re here,” Citali said, drowsy but happy. 

It did not register that Citali called her “Aunt Cid” in front of others, Cid was just glad to see her. “Is there a reason I had to find out about this from Melita when you were already under the knife?” Cid kept her tone even and smirked a little so Citali did not think she was angry. 

“Sorry, I’ve been out of it since we got back yesterday. And...I kind of thought you might try to talk me out of it.” 

“You’re right, I would have. But what’s done is done, I'm just glad you're all right."

"How do you feel?" Melita asked.

"Have a pretty bad headache from the epidural and kind of sore but honestly, I feel pretty good. Omega, Tech, and AZI did a great job," Citali said smiling at them when Cid suddenly took her hand.

"Let’s get you in bed," Cid said. "I can tell you’re exhausted.” 

“Do you need help getting inside, Citali?” Wrecker asked.

“That’s okay, Wrecker. Walking a little is good for me right now.”  

“I’ll leave you in the care with your aunty then,” Echo said teasingly and Cid scowled. 

“Watch it,” she threatened but Echo was getting good at deciphering the slight differences in Cid’s voice when she was joking and when she was being serious. As much as he wanted to care for his wife, he knew what she craved right now was a parent’s love and Cid was the only person here who give her something close to that. But before making her way to the kitchen door, Citali pulled Omega, Tech, and AZI in for a hug.  

“Thank you. I love you guys so much.” 

epidural- a nerve block. medication is continuously administered in the epidural space around the spinal cord. causes numbness from the waist down. frequently used for pain relief in labor, can also be used during surgeries. (I've actually had an epidural for two different types of surgeries myself because I have bad reactions to general anesthesia. very weird experiences but also kind of cool.)

spinal- also called a spinal block. basically the same thing as an epidural. medication is injected into the dural sac. effects are more immediate and usually stronger.

bolus- the administration of a discrete amount of medication within a specific time, generally 1–30 minutes, to raise its concentration in blood to an effective level.

laparoscopy- a minimally invasive operation performed in the abdomen or pelvis using small incisions with the aid of a small camera. The laparoscope (camera) aids diagnosis or therapeutic interventions with a few small cuts in the abdomen. (this is the name of the type of surgery Citali is having).

FYI- if ever I write about something that anyone is confused by or wants more information about, please let me know!

Taglist: @darkangel4121 @arcee-1995 @gjrain20-starwars @thecoffeelorian @littlefeatherr @seriowan

If you asked to add you to my taglist and I've forgotten or you want to be added please let me know!

#tw: pregnancy loss #tw slavery #tw medical procedure #the bad batch #bad batch fanfiction #call the twi'lek midwife #oc fiction #tw sa mention

[distraughtmary]

Our Family Shouldn't Feel Like a Crime. Chapter 2

The story continues...

My head is throbbing as I am sitting at the desk in my room, waiting for Tokha to visit my place for the first time. My impatience is visible with my legs shifting nervously and my upper teeth biting my lower lip, something Tokha would not appreciate because he told me that only he can bite me, either in a genuine flirtation or in a subtle attempt to break my bad habit. Maybe both. Such a charmer. I do secretly like it, liked it back when Sasha made a mess out of me during our first make-out session, and the rest of my entourage kind of guessed that I was into that. I want to lose myself more in the daydreams of Tokha before he comes here and finally tries that intercrural thing we have been planning for ages and maybe lets me drill him, as he affectionately referred to my pathetic topping attempts, but I have a more pressing issue. My eyes are on my shabby, permanently dust-covered laptop, coffins and gravestones reflected on my retina. My dead mother needs a burial, and I am looking for the cheapest deal available, not because I resent her or anything, though it is definitely true, but because I simply do not have the money. Usually you save up for your funeral, as my grandma did, but she was ready to die ever since I was born, and I doubt that my mother expected a premature death for herself. I found nothing at home, and her bank account was empty, which seemed strange, as she did have something in case I failed my final exams and had to be a “paid student.’ Fortunately for us, my average scores were enough to become a “budget student”, so the money could keep accumulating. Or so I thought. That was a bummer because I need to pay god knows how much (actually, I know) to transfer to the med school, and now the dream is dead, like my mother. She took it away with her, suspecting what exactly I would do after her demise. But at least she could not take Tokha with her, not after everything I did to keep him a secret.

The burial and the university are not the only problems on my mind. Mother’s best friend, Ira, paid me a visit yesterday to discuss pre- and post-funeral arrangements, implying that I had to meet mother’s other friends and acquaintances, listen to their condolences until my ears fall off, and drink for my mother’s peaceful afterlife, which is the opposite of what I want for her. I would prefer no feasts at all and a quiet send-off with the sole participation of me, myself, and I, but Ira had already arranged everything, and I decided not to argue with her. She barely even listened to me anyway, still treating me like a boy who once asked her to buy a book of riddles. The only question she asked where my input was relevant was whether my mother wanted to keep her body intact or to be cremated. Obviously, she never discussed such stuff with me and probably did not even think about her funeral arrangements, believing that she had twenty years more to engage in her debauchery. I had no particular opinion as well, but then I imagined throwing her urn of ashes into the river, or flushing it down the toilet, or somehow involving it in sex with Tokha, which would the ultimate insult to her, and a wicked smile manifested on my face and quickly disappeared before Ira could notice. I lied to her that my mother had brought up cremation once while referencing the fact everyone on my grandfather’s side had been cremated, and Ira seemed convinced by my falsehood, which did have a sprinkle of truth – everyone on grandfather’s side, including him, was indeed cremated. And just when I thought that this morbid conversation was over, Ira leaned closer and whispered: ‘I don’t really have to say this, but just in case – no boys at the funeral, okay? You know how Vika felt about that, and your stupid videos on the Internet only broke her heart.’ Oh, I knew perfectly well how she felt about me, and her rotten heart must have dissolved long before her death, but I said nothing. I did not want to invite Tokha to the funeral regardless of how Ira or my mother’s filthy soul felt about that. Our relationship is about love, change, growth, and other sparkly shit, and we do not need a corpse in the middle of it. I thought that would be the end of it, but Ira was a chatterbox, the words pouring out of her with the speed of a train: ‘Alisa and her mother will be there too, Zhenya promised me as much. Oh, how they wanted you and Alisa to end together, you’ve known each other since the cradle days. Remember when you two were dancing partners? You were such a gentleman then, carrying her in your arms, kissing the back of her hand. And then you just had to give up and become like this! I couldn’t believe that video, none of us could! It would be one thing if you embarrassed yourself by coupling with a boy and doing a shitty dance, but no, you followed the whole routine and did the same things to that boy! You kissed his hand! And he kissed yours! Alisa was crying after she’d seen that, you know? Your mother was crying, too, she was hysterical! I had to give her something to calm her down. She might not have said anything to you about what she really felt because she was a decent mother, but I’m telling you this now so that you will finally get a semblance of shame and apologize to Alisa at the funeral because this is what your mother would have wanted!’

I listened to her rant with feigned indifference, my poker face barely concealing disgust. Of course she had to bring up my dancing in a weak attempt to prove that I was straight, as if gay dancers with woman partners did not exist, as if they automatically had to be in a relationship with them instead of separating their professional and personal lives. And I never enjoyed doing all those things to Alisa, but they were the rules, and I simply followed them. I would much prefer a male partner, or at least someone who was not inclined to flirt with me on every occasion, but when I asked the instructor for a swap, she looked at me sternly and said that it was impossible, considering all the years I had spent practising with Alisa. So I left the dancing school altogether, and my coming out moment happened in the wake of all the interrogation my mother had done to make me spit out the reason for that. Maybe if I had been stronger mentally, I would have stayed and endured all the humiliation to become a famous dancer and an inspiration for other gay kids, but I just could not handle the heteronormativity at that time, and I suspected that they would force me to keep my sexuality a secret due to some asinine traditions. I had not danced since then, not until the graduation ball, but I kept up with the competitions and Alisa’s new partner. I had my share of awards, some on the national level, which are now hidden in a drawer under the wardrobe, and my interest in dancing never really dwindled. I do not know how I managed to pull off that dance with Lyosha, but he was not so bad himself, so we made it work together. Anyway, all those memories flooded me after Ira had shared that bullshit with me, filling me with fury, although I was not particularly surprised at my mother’s opinion. Her real stance was always very transparent, but I was a fool who wanted his mommy to love and accept him and covered his eyes with a blindfold and his heart with a restless hope.

‘Aunt Ira,’ I said softly then, my real feelings hard. ‘I always considered you my friend, you know, and you always had your way with words while trying to convince my mother that she was wrong about something in her treatment of me. You said it was fine when I came out, you said you had a lesbian relative, and you even gave me referrals to some gay-friendly specialists who would help if I was struggling with making sense of things or whatever. But it’s clear to me that you were my mom’s friend first and that the lesbian relative of yours was a myth, otherwise you wouldn’t be saying all those hurtful things. I’m sorry, but I’m not going to kiss and make up with Alisa, no matter how much my mother would want us to fuck right on top of her casket, because once the funeral is over, I will step back into my ordinary life where I have a boyfriend to cuddle.’

I wanted to sound as matter-of-factly as possible, omitting the obscenities because it always made her sad when I cussed, but I wanted to make her feel guilty. My mother was dead, but I was still here, and that was the best she could come up with? It sucked. Ira regarded me with a blank expression, her mouth opening and closing with a certain frequency, and then she saw herself out, flinging ‘See you at the reception in three days’ at me in a faint voice. Maybe I did manage to make her feel something.

Ira’s betrayal also sucked for a very simple reason: she hated my mother’s guts. I could see past her friendly act, and they could pretend to be besties all they wanted, but I knew the truth. Granma had told me that, mistaking me for my mother during one of her delirious incidents eventually leading to her death. I guess I did look similar to my mother then, wearing my hair longer than usual and trying out some stuff to look neater. The story was as old as the Earth itself: Vika and Ira were best friends, willing to share everything between each other. But when Vika bagged a hot guy named Andrey, who would have the honour of being my absent father, she did not want to share him with Ira. Ira took offense and started developing a revenge plot. The gag was that Ira already had a boyfriend, and Vika did not really mind that, but all logic was thrown out of the window. Ira’s plan was brilliant: organize a 4-people party including her, Vika, Andrey, and Ira’s boyfriend, get everyone drunk, and sleep with Andrey while the other two were passed out or something. Her grand plan almost succeeded, but she failed to account for Vika’s wondrous ability to remain sober even after 6 drinks. So Vika saw everything, or almost everything, while Ira was too busy with Andrey to notice. One week later, Vika cheated back on Ira’s boyfriend, and all hells broke lose. Accusations started flying, catfights took place, while the men involved were unscathed despite all the mess being their fault too. Somehow, Ira and Vika managed to make up, break up with the guys, and became even bigger friends, vowing that no man will tear them apart, but that was not the last double cheating event in their history. Every time Vika got a new boyfriend and a daddy for her son Seryozha aka me, Ira would find a way to sleep with him, and Vika would sleep with whatever guy Ira was dating at the time. The back and forth continued until Ira finally settled down and gave birth to a daughter, whose father shared the same fate as mine. Accidentally, the original ‘sin’ happened like 9 months before I was born, so my father could either be Andrey or the nameless boyfriend of Ira’s, but my mother always insisted that my father’s name was Andrey and gave me his patronymic. Maybe she wanted to believe that it was him rather than a random guy who seemingly was not that handsome, but I stopped giving a damn about my parentage around six. And I inherited almost everything from my mother in the looks department. So… why did Ira do all that? I did not doubt that she hated my mother and was jealous of her. I could not fathom why they had remained friends and how they had benefited from such a broken friendship. And I could not understand why, after all that had transpired between them, she would choose her side instead of mine. I slammed the door shut after she had left, closing whatever part of my being still trusted her.

Waiting for Tokha is unbearable. It makes me think, reminisce, ruminate, and I want my head to be clear. Or occupied with the thoughts of him rather than my mother or her treacherous friend. And I start thinking, but his face is not the only one that flashes before me. I think about how perfect he is, with his grey eyes, cheekbones that could NOT cut glass but are pleasant to look at regardless, and dark hair that remind me of emo guys, but he is far from being one, always showering me with positivity, compliments, and just the right words at the right time. I wish I could do the same for him, but I am a mess, and he still embraces it. Tokha is not a manly man, more like a boyish man, but that might be exactly what I want since I am not that either. He also reminds me of Sasha sometimes, especially when he starts kissing my neck, and I grab his bangs in a joking attempt to make him stop, but then I perish the thought. Sasha was not all that, and I do not want to spend the rest of my life pondering over the coulda, shoula, woulda of my first relationship. On the other hand, Tokha is all that and even more, so I will focus on loving him and helping him with whatever obstacles he is facing. It is hard to believe that at first he was just a ‘fan’.

Following my viral dance, I became sort of a local icon thanks to my bravery or something, although the ball had at least Petya with his guy and Lera with her girlfriend. Lera was not my friend, but we tolerated each other enough to be considered pals or something. She had come out around the 10th grade, a rather courageous deed considering her religious family and a potential arranged marriage. So those two were more worthy of being queer icons than me, a coward who would have remained in his shell if not for Lyosha. Still, many people liked the dance and thought it was some kind of a statement, which it probably was, but I personally just wanted to dance in a way that would make me feel good, and other possible meanings were an afterthought. A community focused on me formed on the VK social media where they discussed me, Lyosha, Sasha, and whatever they managed to dig up about me. I felt extremely uncomfortable about the whole thing, almost reporting the community the first I stumbled upon it, but I also saw that my existence helped those people somehow, so I decided to let it be. It was a miracle that Lyosha’s parents never discovered it, or our relationship would have been much shorter. I did drop a hint to the administrators of the community that Lyosha was not out without revealing myself as their deity, and they became more discreet while reporting on my love life as if I was a legitimate celebrity. The second viral moment with us barely dressed changed everything. Theories about what happened started pouring out, who was the bottom, who was the top, oh, Sergey’s trousers barely covered his cheeks, meaning that he had been the one to take it in the ass, who was more toned (not me), oh, Sergey should eat more, that would make him much hotter, oh, Lyosha’s hair was slightly wet and shiny, was it CUM, oh, they should have continued their business in the dormitory hallway because queer people should not be confined to their bedrooms, and so on and so forth. As I said before, I was not really bothered by their words. Well, maybe a bit. I did want to gain some weight, but I ate only as much as my mother put on the table, which was enough not to starve to death. The community, even after all that bullshit, still believed they were my fans and wanted the best for me, so they started this ‘Looking for Sergey’s new boyfriend’ thread where guys could leave their info for me to contact them. At that point the administrators suspected that I was stalking them, saying as much in the thread’s premise. All the guys had to share was their contact info and put a real photo as their display pic, but some went out of their way to share more ‘private’ details, but their sizes and roles barely registered with me as I had not completely figured out what I wanted then. That thread was how I met Daniil, my third ‘boyfriend’. I used my burner account to contact him, begging him to keep our correspondence a secret. He was quite hot, and I was not looking for any commitment at the time. He fulfilled his purpose and more, never exposing our ‘good’ time, for which I was grateful. Tokha was not one of those guys who left his contacts, no. I found him in a different thread, where the ‘fans’ speculated over my personal life, still scrutinizing every single detail of the second video. He was one of the people who actually tried to defend me, saying that they had no right to vivisect me and that I was entitled to privacy, implying that most of the ‘fans’ were just straight women without real ties to the community. That earned him a ban and earned the community a report for me, something I had kept postponing for selfish reasons rather than something noble. I sent Tokha a short ‘thank you’ from my main account, from which I had also reported the community, and I thought that would be the end of it. But that was actually the beginning of something more, of something real, despite the questionable circumstances.

Tokha is not just my boyfriend, I think he is also my best friend. People say that could be detrimental to the relationship, but I do not care. I have always been a loner because it is easier to keep secrets this way. You do not have to worry about your friends asking you about your non-existent girlfriend, you do not have to worry about coming out to them and potentially getting rejected, and you do not have to worry about all the little things that eventually accumulate and ruin a friendship. I could strike a friendship with some queer students, but that would lead me to outing myself, and the guys always viewed me as a piece of meat rather than a person. I blame my mother. She was the culprit of my loneliness, the culprit behind my broken relationships, but she cannot ruin what I have with Tokha anymore. Rest in piss.

The doorbell rings, and I am in shambles, searching for my slippers with my bare feet. I finally feel them and artfully slip my feet into them, not caring for the fact they are quite dirty now. I exit my room and rush for the door, skipping the part where you look through the peephole and ask who is there. My grandma was guilty of that, and I always chided her for opening the door for everyone, but I am breaking all the rules now because my boyfriend is coming to my place for the first time, and fuck everything else. It is him, to my relief, in a second-hand cap with a big W and a windbreaker because May still feels chilly in this god-forsaken tundra. Tokha reaches to hug me, but I urge him to lock the door first: I do not want any witnesses, and I am tired of my love being a public affair. He does so, and then I am onto him, hugging and kissing him, almost strangling him with my affection. He returns the gesture, and I help him out of the windbreaker, casually throwing it at the dresser. I am already lightly dressed, so Tokha reaches for the hem of my T-shirt, his lips firmly on mine, but then another ring interrupts us. I want to continue, grabbing his arm to make him continue what he has been doing, but whoever is behind the door is stubborn, dissipating the mood. Tokha untangles from me, defeat in his eyes, but I promise him the superior sequel after we deal with that. I tell him to look through the peephole, which he does.

‘Um, Seriy,’ he says, turning his head to me and using the variation of my name I actually like. ‘There is a police officer and a little girl outside.’

‘Fuck’ is all I manage to vocalize before they start knocking on the door.

#queer #queer lit #m/m romance #m/m fiction #writing #our family