#‘sup you fucking LOSERS’

[tang3r1n]

okay i’m being a lil hyper today and i CANNOT get the idea of an island empress reader having Luffy wrapped around her finger, plus the island itself UGH i’ve already though of it all guys. pls encourage me to talk more cause i have a 4 page goodbye doc for this fucking reader.

kay so basically my entire thought is empress reader on a very distant yet powerful island, like she’s friends with everyone and her island has a neutrality agreement bc of this, meaning marines and pirates have to be chill and natural around each other or smth

anyways- some day the Strawhats are just sailing around when Nami starts freaking tf out abt ‘THIS FUCKING ISLAND I FUCKING FOUND HER YES FUCK’ and literally screaming to find their big ass transponder snail meanwhile everyone else is just shocked she’s genuinely tweaking

come to find out Nami n her family (might be agaisnt cannon but fuck off) we’re regulars of reader’s island back when they were both lil girls and they bonded so hard that they still write each other and Nami has slowly been nudging the crew to get closer n closer to her island just so she can geek out with her childhood bestie

so they all are like ‘lmao okay that’s chill’ and park it and Nami just takes off. i’m talkin they turn around and she’s bolting toward the massive ass golden castle or smth, and they just kinda chill while the islanders greet them and start slowly (normally) taking them to the castle. they’re like weirdly neutral abt Nami screaming like a banshee, mainly cause the older islanders remember her and know it’s a lot for her

so they literally barely make it to the first step of the entrance before two shrill screams ring out and Nami comes out dragging this gorgeous, young ass empress out, covered head to toe in jewels and charms, even her hair is filled with crystals tied to her braids and spirals of gold and silver are strategically placed everywhere. she’s got obviously tribal tattoos and symbols decorating her entire body, her thick form’s dressed in the more beautiful silk robes and she’s got the brightest smile as she openly sobs int Nami’s arms

and Luffy, for the first time in his life, is completely shellshocked from her, just like ‘:0’ and STARING at the empress while she tries to compose herself

Obviously she’s aware of who they are, shooting them all pleasantries and looking down at Luffy (mf is like 5’6 im sorry i’m 5’11 I LOVE SHORT LUFFYSS KAKDKSKQ) and giving him just the sweetest smile and soft lil ‘hello Captain’ and oh god he’s literally shaking his hands are sweaty what-

then Usopp’s just like ‘HAH srry he’s never seen such a pretty lady before’ and they’re all giggling at his absolutely stary-eyed face as he’s just dead silent, heart racing in front of this goddess.

#y’all i am sad to say it but #i might expand on this later #i also love the idea of her being the softest sweetest thing #and her bff (aside from nami) being like fucking Kidd AHAHAHAHA #‘guys this is my most specialist buddy :)’ #‘sup you fucking LOSERS’ #AHAHAHA #and all the left pirates and marines dote on her like a gaggle of grandpas #Croc always brings her like a whole chest of jewelry and wine when he comes to visit #SORRY i love soft croc #i’m too ooc wit one piece omfg #one more promise #i love the idea of Ace having adored reader so she has a little shrine to him #on a mountain that Luffy sees and he’s just like ‘aww :(‘ but he falls even harder knowing his brother adored reader #AAAAHHHHH #Law also visits and deals with her painting on his face and adding hair charms to him #deffo falls asleep to her playing with his hair #OH OKAY LAD THING #i’m picturing a mix of brazilian/marti gras/hawaiian lifestyle #like idfk how to explain it #Rio soundtrack vibes idfk #yeah #yeah that fits. #[‘v33nxs’ updated her blog!] #okay i’m done fuck off now pls

[elliesmistress]

MOLLY

Warnings: pure fluff, ellie being a loser ngl, mentions of drugs (molly, weed, and alcohol) drug usage (molly and alcohol), Ellie and the reader are both over 18, mentions of wanting to kill themselves (Ellie), comedown from drugs, Ellie is a bit of a love bird in this, kinda dealer ellie?? women kissing (AHHHHH), cuddling and kissing (no smut but like... read at caution bru) Tommy, Joel, and Maria are in this.

W/N: uhh, just ellie being a cutie. if you don't like it scroll :3

You were driving home from work to go to a house party Joel was hosting at his place, there were going to be maybe 20-30 people there? You weren't the best with social situations but you and Ellie usually just went up to her room and got high as fuck, go downstairs, and eat all the food (you both thought you were so smart and no one would know but it was super obvious).

You get back home, say hi to Joel and go to Ellie's room.

"Hey els" you say putting your shit down and sitting on the bed next to her. "sup babe" she says as you turn to face her, she's got this really suspicious look about her- you know this face well, ellie does this face when she's done something wrong or she's about to say something she KNOWS you're going to say no to. "What'd you do ellie?"

"I may or may not have gotten some molly," she says, you look at her, slightly dumbfounded at what you've just heard. Fucking Molly? How the fuck? You thought about it for a minute and realized you guys don't have enough fun-yes sure, there was a family event but molly couldn't be that strong right? So you both took it, you took 1 and she took 2.

"Ellie?"

"mhm?"

"I love you so much man," you say in such a whiny voice, turning to face her and giving her a shit-faced grin.

"I love you too baby, oh my lordy lord- I love you so fucking much you have no idea, c'here" She pulls you in for a big cuddle, and you smile, embracing her cuddle- by this point, you could love a rock.

You both cuddled for god knows how fucking long but it was filled with a lot of "I love you's" Ellie's phone binged and it was Joel, you open the message for her and smile at it. It was Joel.

JOEL: Hi els didn't know if you were asleep or not but didn't want to annoy you if you were Tommy and Maria are here and they want to say hi

"Ellie?" you say with a slightly worried tone, she was a lot higher than you, being the fuckhead she is she took 2 caps instead of 1. "hmh yes baby? I love you" her words were slurred, no way she could make it out as sober-

"Let's go downstairs"

That probably wasn't your smartest choice ever.. You followed Ellie around to make sure she wouldn't do or say anything stupid- both of your pupils dilated and obviously on something other than weed.

"hey joel man.... I love you man, did you know that? I love you so much, so fucking much dude" Ellie's voice is slurred and her voice high pitched she hugs Joel whilst Maria and Tommy are looking at her with slightly confused faces, Ellie was never like affectionate towards, anyone... Matter of fact, you were the only person she was "nice" to.

"You all good Ellie?" Joel asks "Yeah man, never better i just love you- same with you Maria, you're cool as fuck"

"Language!" Joel says in one of those fatherly tones "don't tell me what to do when I'm just tryna give you love. Same with you dude" she walks up to a random person and starts to try and hug them.

"Okay! i think that's enough for you- I'll get her to bed, she's had a lot to drink" you say, grabbing her shoulder quickly and dragging her away "I wanna HUG YOU ALL" her voice getting loud, Joel, Tommy and Maria are all laughing at this situation- by this point you were as well, knowing Ellie's comedown would hit her HARD and that she would wish to never do this again-

You get her back into her room and sit her down, giving her some water-

"I love you so much Ellie," you say to her, giving her a kiss on the lips. "You have... No idea. How much I fucking love you bro- like...... I love you so fucking much" Ellie laughs, voice still high, she was HIGH and HAPPY as fuck- completely stripping you both get into bed putting the fan on because let's be real, you both were overheating-

Ellie holds your waist and starts to spoon you "I love you baby, I love you so so much"

"I love you too baby"

"babe?" Ellie says. "Hmmmmm?" You reply back with. "I love you man" you giggle "I love you too Ellie" .

-

ELLIES COMEDOWN

Ellie wakes up the next day as if she's been hit by a bus, no but literally that's what she feels like- you both "blacked out" about 6 hours into the high but you assume you were just sleeping because there were no unusual messages from Joel or anyone.

You woke up later than Ellie did but when you finally woke up and got dressed, you found Ellie holding onto the toilet for dear life, looking like she's just seen a ghost.

"you good babe?" You say, luckily the comedown didn't hit you as bad- I mean, you still couldn't look yourself in the mirror without being terrified of your own fucking hand but that's besides the fucking point. "Do I look okay?" She was on the verge of fucking sobbing- you get kneel down to next to her and say "probably shouldn't have taken two caps aye?"

"shut the fuck up" she says, pushing you slightly.

"keep drinking the water babe, don't be stupid. I'll go make food" you stand up, leaving the bathroom, walking straight past Joel who you knew was going to ask questions but maybe.... If you don't acknowle-

"fun night?" Joel says, sipping his coffee, you turn around to see him and smile. "Yes, but now I should make food".

You finish making the food, going back to Ellie and handing her the plate of bacon and eggs you had just made.

"I want to kill myself" Ellie says, practically crying by this point. "I know baby, you'll be okay, I promise." You say hugging her

"let's never do this again yeah?" She nods fast and hugs you.

AHHHHH, I haven't done a oneshot in a while and I honestly didn't know what the fuck to write about so uhhh here.....

#ellie williams #the last of us #ellie imagine #ellie tlou #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams smut #ellie williams x you #ellie x reader #ellie smut #ellie williams x reader #wlw post #wlw ns/fw #ellie the last of us #ellie #joel and ellie #joel miller #tommy miller

[s-4pphics]

dial. 2 (e.w.)

wc;cw: 5.3K, fratadjacent!ellie, she has community dick, all ocs r black coded <3, mentions of psychs(shrooms), weed, alcohol, fun parties, dubcon they’re faded, LIGHT SMUT MDNI LEMME COOK YALL, dirty talk, fingering, ellie ain’t shit, stone tops r hot, smidge of angst bc it’s me n i hate joy

playlist :p

You woke up alone. 

When you reached over on Ellie’s side and felt nothing but a folded pillow, your eyes shot open. You ignored the pounding of your head and peered over at Ellie’s bedside alarm clock. It was almost noon, and you were starving. 

You instantly sat up when you heard Ellie’s laughter coming from the living room alongside a high-pitched voice rambling about last night. You threw the hot blankets off your sweaty form and dressed quickly, tossing your shredded stockings in Ellie’s small garbage. 

You pried Ellie’s door open and made your way into the packed living room, the soccer boys stretching and putting in eye drops while Niah snored on the couch. Ellie was standing by the open front door, her body leaning against the frame as she nodded and spoke to… the same girl from last night! 

“El, I literally couldn’t fucking move! I thought I was gonna fuckin’ die if I did anything!” 

Ellie shook her head with a bright smile, waving two candy-bars in her hand, “That’s fucking crazy, damn. Don’t try that shit with these, you’ll be off your ass. Eat half a fucking square and see how you feel.” 

“I will,” the girl took her bars and handed Ellie a stack of bills, “Trip with me after finals?” 

Your heart stuttered in your chest at her suggestive tone, and it shattered when Ellie reciprocated. 

Her head tilted and her tone quieted, “You can handle all that at once?” 

“All what?” The girl eased closer into Ellie’s space, and one of the soccer players’ dog whistled. Ellie leaned down to whisper into the girl’s ear, and she huffed and pushed her away playfully. She departed with a flirty bye, El, and Ellie returned it just as lowly. You should’ve stayed asleep. 

Ellie shut the door softly and shoved her bills into her sports bra, and you fled to her room before she could see you. You shut the door softly and pressed your ear up against the white wood. 

One of the soccer players crossed his arms over his chest, impressed, “Fuuuck, dude, how the fuck do you pull like that?”

“… I know how to eat pussy. Ask her when she’s up,” she said with a scoff. 

“Don’t needa ask, I heard. Dick,” your face burned with embarrassment. 

Ellie’s boisterous laughter shook the apartment. You could hear her sock-covered feet padding on the floor as she inched closer to the door. You moved back to her mirror when her knob twisted and pretended to fix your tangled hair. 

Ellie waltzed in and shut the door behind her. 

“Hey,” you croaked, trying to sound as casual as possible. Don’t look at her!

“‘Sup,” she barely acknowledged. You flinched. You could see her rummaging around her room, shoving her earnings into a small shoe box on her nightstand. 

Your gaze dropped to a random smudge on her mirror, “Um, Ellie?” 

“Hm?” Ouch. 

“… Do you like cupcakes?” you squeaked nervously. 

“… Yes?” 

“Really?” You twirled with a grin on your face, your arms giddily waving around in the air. “Me’n Niah always make cupcakes on Wednesday in the West Wing! Did you know they just upgraded their toaster oven?! We’re making some for Dina and Jesse but they only like vanilla like boring losers. I personally like red velvet, but we can make any flavor you want!” 

You rambled joyfully, eager to hear her flavor preference. She seemed like a strawberry person! Or German chocolate—

“Vanilla’s fine.” 

She answered plainly, and your spirit dropped. You didn’t allow your disappointment to show on your face too much, your arms falling limp at your sides. 

Your efforts failed when she shut you down, “I don’t mean to be rude, but I really need… t’get ready and stuff.” 

You shook your head incessantly, “No, no, I get it! I, um… I needa get Niah up anyway.”

Ellie nodded and stared at you blankly. She didn’t say anything else after that, impulsively reorganizing her little piggy bank. Sadness churned in your gut, your smile dropping as you clenched your fists.  

“S-See you Wednesday?” 

“… Yup.” 

You gave her a stiff nod and spun towards the door. You left as quickly as you could, shutting it harder than you should’ve. Tears built in your eyes against your will; Dina told you Ellie was aloof and a bit awkward, but she always seemed so comfortable around all your friends. You tried to justify her behavior since you were strangers, but it’s been weeks, and she’s been inside you! She never bothered to ask anything about you when you first met, even though you desperately wanted to know everything about her. You were starting to question if she even knew your name. 

That familiar feeling from years ago was coming over you in the middle of your friend’s hallway, and you instantly felt nauseous. You prayed you would never experience something like that again; You moved fucking cities because of it, for gods sake! Maybe you were just too overbearing, too naive. Too… uppity for some people. 

You’re a lot to handle! Not everyone is built for that. That’s just something you’re gonna have to understand at some point. 

You knew Niah would cause a scene if she saw you upset, so you wiped your tears with your itchy sleeves and forced your insecurities down despite their desire to crumble you, making your way over to your best friend’s laid out form. You crouched and gently shook her awake. 

“Ni. Ni, wake up,” your voice wouldn't stop cracking!

She choked and coughed awake; Her cotton mouth must be deadly! She smacked her lips together as her eyes tore open, dry as ever. 

“Hi,” you whispered, “We gotta go. It’s almost noon.” 

You had to pry Niah off Jesse and Ellie’s sofa, but you were able to get her out the door eventually. With her little goodie bags! You closed the entrance to their apartment and began your walk down the hallway. 

You ignored the tears in your heart when you heard their front door lock; Ellie didn’t even want to see you out. 

… Were you really that bad? 

You said nothing the entire Uber ride back to the dorms. Niah fell asleep on your shoulder, and you cried silently, watching the white of winter pass you by. 

Class was fucking killing you. 

You were exhausted and filled notebooks were practically overflowing out of your book bag; You were shocked that students’ bodies weren’t scattered across the quad. The first term was always the worst. 

At least it was Cupcake Day! You couldn’t wait for Niah to pick you up. 

“Order for Kayla!” 

You were currently waiting on the chai latte Ellie was making, her back turned to you and she mixed your hot drink. You definitely weren’t here to secretly watch as she frothed cream in her cute, little Starbucks hat! Not at all! 

She placed the lid on your drink and locked eyes with you. She didn’t call your name out, only sliding you the steaming cup with a quiet enjoy, spinning to return to her station before you could thank her. 

You sighed and grabbed the steaming cup from the serving counter, snagging a seat farthest away from the coffee station. You sipped and waited with a crestfallen spirit, listening to the way Ellie’s voice lifted when she called out other peoples’ names. You wished you knew what you did wrong. 

You concluded and accepted the fact that simply Ellie didn’t like you. 

Outside of sex, obviously. 

You thought baking would distract you from the graying of your heart, but it only darkened as you iced the cooled desserts. 

“Taste this. Is it too sweet?” 

You turned and met Niah’s manicured finger covered in cream cheese frosting. You tasted it and instantly cringed as your tastebuds were overtaken by icing sugar. You were definitely getting older; Younger you would’ve told her to add two more cups of the soft power! 

“Fuck,” she sighed and grabbed another pack of cream cheese from the small counter. “If you don’t like it, it must be trash.” 

“… Yeah.” 

She laughed lightly, “What the fuck? You’re not gonna coddle me?” 

You only shrugged and continued to swirl chocolate frosting on the remaining cakes. 

Niah wasn’t having it, “Bro are you good? You barely said shit to me all day.” 

You shrugged and dolloped more of the better batch of icing on the cake, “I’m fine, class just sucked today.” 

And Ellie hates me!

“Talk to me,” you saw her set her piping bag down near the cooling tray. 

You lied, “Nothing to talk about. You know I hate my cognitive science class.” 

Niah only hummed, and you know she’s only dropping the conversation for your sake. You would come to her when you were ready and less distraught by embarrassment. 

You two finished in rigid silence. You made a small baggie full of cupcakes for Ellie like you did Jesse and Dina, making sure to add extra chocolate sprinkles next to the E fondant placed on her small desserts. You hoped she would accept the peace offering. 

Your throat was so dry. 

You tapped your foot mindlessly against the floor as you and Niah waited for Jesse to open the door, gift bags scrunched in your jittery hands. You hoped you and Ellie could talk. Please be home!

The door ripped open, and Jesse greeted you. 

“WHAT DAY IS IT!” 

“IT’S CUPCAKE DAY!” you and Niah shouted, holding up the filled decorative bags. 

He hugged you both before allowing you entry, Dina already sat at the small dining table set with cute China plates and a tea kettle. There was no sign of Ellie; The excitement in your shoulders dropped. 

You set the sweet treats on the table and took a seat across Dina, Niah next to you. Jesse grabbed the steaming kettle and filled your cups up while Dina ripped the bags open. 

“Greedy ass. Have some couth,” Niah scolded Dina playfully. 

You jumped in with a sneaky smile, “Yeah, Dee, where’s your manners!” 

“ME?!” she dropped the bag in shock, “I know you’re not talking!” 

Your jaw dropped when she pointed an accusatory finger at you, “What’d I do!” 

“Oh, now you’re confused! You two kept us up all night, why d’you think we slept so long after that party!” 

Your face burned at the insinuation as Jesse and Niah snickered off to the side. Dina dug in the bag in search of her embroidered cupcake, shaking her head, “It’s silent now! Crazy.” 

“She’s on your head,” Niah laughed out. Jesse sipped his tea like Kermit. 

“… I hate all of you! Gimme my fucking cupcake!” 

Dina passed you the bag after snagging hers and Jesse’s, and you snatched your wrapped dessert from the now crumpled bag with a pout. Ellie’s cupcakes were left at the bottom of the bag still in perfect condition. At least they were pretty. 

Dina, Jesse, and Niah migrated to the couch after you volunteered to tidy up the kitchen. Dina offered to help, but you shooed her away. She immediately grabbed Ellie’s bong off the little coffee table and packed it for the three of them. You knew their pothead asses wanted to smoke!

You were wiping the crumby table down with a wet wipe when your phone vibrated in your pocket. 

Your heart sped up in your chest at the message. Has she been here the whole time! Why didn’t she greet you! Your thumbs flew over your keyboard at the speed of light. 

She answered instantly, and your core spasmed. 

You gazed up to check on your friends, happy to see that they were paying you no mind! You probably looked insane standing in the kitchen with no air in your lungs. 

Why were you this tempted to walk into her room and ride her into the sunset? 

Your heart sank when you didn’t receive a text after that. Did you make her mad? Did she not want her cupcakes anymore? 

You sighed and put your phone back in your jean pocket, finishing the nearly clean table. You leaned over it to get the little spots you missed. 

“Hey, housewife,” she said quietly, pinching your ass like she always does. 

Ellie’s raspy tone vibrated your eardrums, and you nearly dropped to your knees at the nickname. Her hair was down, and she had on grey fucking sweatpants. You would be her stay-at-home wife any day of the week! Iron her clothes, change her sheets, let her bend you over the counter while you’re cooking her dinner—

You peered at her over your shoulder, “Hi.” 

Your cracked mumble made her smirk, “Those mine?” 

Her head jerked towards the folded goodie bag, and you nodded, still bent over the table. She peered down at your ass before pulling out a seat. 

“Sit with me.” 

… An actual invitation that didn’t involve proposals to eat your ass?! Were you two actually getting somewhere? 

You yanked your chair out and plopped in it, excitingly sliding the goodie bag towards her so she could pull her cupcakes out. You propped your head up with a grin and watched as she unwrapped the dessert, taking a slow lick of the sloppy icing job. She held eye contact with you with each pass of her tongue, and your eyes filled with hearts. 

“Tastes good,” she mumbled before biting into the dessert. 

“It’s not too sweet?” You sounded love struck. 

She shook her head with a sly grin, “No such thing.” 

… Why was she so fucking sexy! 

“You coming on Friday?” she said around another bite. 

Please make me cum on Friday! 

“Yes,” your heart fluttered when she mumbled cool. “D’you know what you’re gonna wear?” 

“Not yet. I might make a fucking homemade reindeer shirt or something, I’m broke,” she tossed the last bit of cake into her mouth and licked her fingers. 

“I bet that’d look so cool! You’re so talented!” You beamed. You remembered viewing some of Ellie’s sketches that were hung on her wall and bed frame before she drilled you into her mattress. You always thought her depictions of Pokémon characters were so cute! 

You saw her eyes widen before she looked down at the table, “Thanks.” 

Her face was red, and her eyes didn’t meet yours… Was she blushing? 

The moment was ruined, though. She hopped up from her seat before you could say anything else, quietly thanking you for the cupcakes. She scurried back to her room after throwing Niah a stiff see ya, slamming her door shut. 

Everyone turned to look at you with confused stares, and all you could do was shrug sheepishly, your heart saddening. What did you say that was so embarrassing; She is talented! 

Ellie was so interesting. 

Your study seshes with Niah were flying by. You swore your eyeballs were going to fall out if you stared at one more note sheet. 

How was Niah able to smoke and not take at the same time! 

Your last class of the week was finished, and you zoomed back to your dorm to get ready for tonight. This was one of the last parties of the semester and you wanted to impress! 

You didn’t get out of the library until seven. The sun was starting to set, and you were nowhere near ready! You already had your outfit: a purple glow-in-the-dark Santa’s hat and your matching faux fur mini dress, but you needed an hour and a half for your hair, at the bare minimum! Niah needed to hurry up and finish her project meeting so she could help you pick shoes! What the fuck goes with purple anyway?

You stripped and showered quickly. You were in the middle of detangling your hair when Niah burst through the door with her books in hand. 

“Fuck these professors bruh! They never give us this much work to do during the fucking semester and now we’re doing twelve fucking assignments at goddamn once five days before the year ends! I’m sick of this bullshit— “

You hyperfocused on perfecting your part, “Bitch, I don’t care about that! What color goes with purple best? Should I wear white or black shoes! What the fuck do I do?!” 

Niah kicked her boots off and tossed her books on her dresser in the middle of her rant, already stripping down, “Mind you, I’m paired with two fucking idiots! How am I supposed to explain two-dimensional kinematics to somebody who— “

“NIAH!” 

“WHAT!” 

“… Take a deep breath through your no— “

“I’m not having a fuckin’ panic attack, relax. Wear white shoes,” she huffed before grabbing her pen out of her shoebox stash. You needed one of those for your liquor bottles! 

Niah snagged your speaker before rushing in the bathroom to shower. Blow drying your hair was going to be a fucking pain! 

After finishing your hair and taking five spaced out shots over the next three hours, you and Niah were off into the night. You don’t know how you were trucking it so fast towards the Uber; You almost broke your damn ankle when you practiced walking earlier! Snapchat was already blowing up with people at the soccer house. And the music actually sounded good! 

You slurrily asked your Uber if you could aux for the drive, in which he confusedly replied if the oxe could what? Niah laughed uncontrollably the entire ride. She always did love getting older Uber drivers! 

The deeper you drove into the neighborhood, the more packed it was, people in sparkly, short dresses and more ugly Christmas sweaters. They were all hooting and laughing down the block, and it took everything in you to not rip the car door open and hop out to mingle! 

The Uber parked in front of the white, four-floored home. You and Niah thanked him before jumping out and brushing past the lengthy line; You loved having friends in high places! Dina texted saying she’d be waiting for both of you by the door. 

“Dina!” you shouted over the loud, bustling crowd. You waved at her when she saw you, grabbing your hand to pull you and Niah through the packed porch. 

The soccer house was dimly lit with red and green LED lights and the walls were covered in Christmas socks and ornaments. They even had a blow-up snowman to take pictures with! She pulled you and your roommate into a bone-crushing hug and kissed your cheeks before pulling you deeper inside, making sure to keep you close so you wouldn’t get lost in the crowd. 

She paused at the counter and grabbed the bottle of vodka, untwisting the cap and handing it to Niah. She wasted no time in downing a large gulp before passing it to you to do the same. You scowled at the taste and Dina laughed, wrapping her arm around your shoulders to lead you and Niah into the kitchen. The soccer team were timing each other’s shotguns, and by the blank look on Jesse’s face, he must be losing. 

The players hugged you and Niah politely before Jesse pulled you in a tight hug. He shouted over the blaring speakers, “I’m getting cooked!” 

A laugh escaped you as he shook his head and hugged Niah. She pulled her phone out of her bra and stared at you, waiting for you to answer her message. 

You smiled and nodded, grabbing Dina’s hand to pull her onto the dance floor. Ellie hadn’t passed your mind once. 

In all your years of being the trip-sitter and designated driver, you’ve never lost your friends in a crowd. You always prided yourself on being the most reliable person to party with! 

So how did you end up losing your two friends, taking six more shots, and grinding on a random girl who was showing your neck a little too much love? You had no idea how long it’s been since Niah took Dina to the bathroom, the girl was hot, and you’re a slut! You gladly accepted the attention! 

You were sipping from the bottle like you paid for it while grinding on whoever the fuck was grabbing your hips. Were you a bad person if you imagined Ellie was the one doing it? You hoped not. 

Your head fell back on the girl’s shoulders, the fuzzies from her sweater tickling your neck as you moved against her, pushing your hips back on her front. You peered down at her… veiny hands, holy fuck, watching her watch glisten under the faint lights in the room. 

Your arm came around her neck to pull her closer, her lips moving against your ear. 

“Wanna go smoke?” she mumbled in against your skin over the 8O8s, and you nodded as fast as your neck would allow. 

You pulled away from her and brushed past dozens of heads until you reached the back patio. You pried the door open in your haze and stepped outside, almost slipping on a rock like an idiot. 

Your heart, nor your pussy was prepared to see Ellie and her friends seated on lounge chairs passing blunts around. Your drunk brain was sloppily telling you that something bad was going to happen! The loose strands of her hair were pulled back with little snowman clips, and she drew her own reindeer with a marijuana leaf behind it on a plain t-shirt. 

You pulled your phone out to make it seem like you didn’t notice her, your screen filled with texts from Niah and Ellie. 

Fuck, fuck! 

You felt an arm wrap around your waist to guide you to a seat. Right across from Ellie. You’re fucked, you’re fucked!

You were pulled into the girl’s lap… You swore she told you her name, but you don’t remember! Ellie’s staring right at you! Why were her friends so fucking hot? The girl was massaging your hip and making sure your dress was pulled down enough, oh fuck—

Your eyes moved before your brain could stop them, meeting Ellie’s searing gaze as she gauged you, taking in your exposed thighs like she wanted to rip you to shreds. Hotly. She held your stare while she brought the roach between her lips and pulled from it, inhaling the sphere-shaped carbon before exhaling slowly. 

The hammering in your ears wouldn’t stop. You had no idea what Ellie’s friends were laughing at, but she wasn’t laughing with them. Her eyes flickered from yours to the person behind you that was rolling up; Her jaw was clenched tight, and her brows were slightly furrowed. 

… The fuck was happening right now. 

The hot girl under you passed you the packed blunt, “Spark this for me?” 

You jumped at the whisper. You nodded and took the lighter, flicking it and bringing the flame to the end of the blunt, rotating so it could catch evenly. 

“You can hit it first,” you stared into the girl’s… pretty eyes. Shit. 

You pulled from the blunt before passing it back to her, exhaling the carbon over your shoulder so it wouldn’t hit her face. 

Ellie hadn’t moved from her position on the chair, but she was stiff, and her face was tense. You have never seen her like this before! 

She leaned forward to stub the roach out on the table before standing. And walking towards you. And staring you down, fuck, you’re going to die! 

“Mind if I borrow her for a sec?” 

She held your gaze as she spoke, but it wasn’t directed at you. Smoke escaped from behind you. 

“… Why?” 

“Needa talk to her, Abby. About Dina,” she finally looked behind you and at the girl. Why’d you feel faint? Said girl—Abby squeezed your hip and your walls jerked. 

“… Okay,” she looked weirded out by Ellie’s tone, but her expression eased when she looked at you. “Come find me when you’re done?” 

You mumbled sure and Ellie scoffed, grabbing your wrist, and yanking you out of Abby’s lap. She led you through the jumping crowd and up the stairs, her hold on your arm getting stronger with each step. 

She led you down a hallway before reaching up on the door sill and retrieving a key, unlocking the door, and leading you in. 

She shut and locked the door behind you, tossing the key on the bed behind you. Ellie looked so deep in thought. 

It was silent. Ellie was biting her nails. 

…

…

…

“I like your shirt.” 

You wanted to slap yourself! No one fucking cares! Something’s obviously bothering her!

“… Is Dina okay?” Ellie only nodded, and you followed. 

“Um, great…” 

You looked around the room; It had a bunch of women from sports magazines plastered on the wall and the bed wasn’t made with clothes scattered all over the floor. It wasn’t a complete pigsty. That’s a plus, right? 

Ellie stealthy crept up behind you, her hands gently caressing your shoulders before sliding down your arms. She leaned forward so her head rested on your shoulder, her breath tickling your ear when she spoke. 

“You’re so fuckin’ hot.” 

You gasped harshly at her voice, and you felt her smile. Her slippery hands hooked under the hem of your dress and slowly slid it up, her nails grazing against your skin. You couldn’t stop shuddering. 

“Remember when I asked somebody to fuck you with me?” She kissed your shoulder gently and you melted. She never treated you so softly! You nodded. 

Your dress sat around your waist and your pussy dripped into your panties, your breath heavy when she whispered, “That was her. Think she’s gotta little crush on you.” 

“R-Really?” 

“Mhm. You like that?” She inched your panties down your thighs. 

“I-I dunno—“ She was massaging your tits that were spilling out of your dress and you couldn’t breathe. 

“You don’t know?” Her voice had a harsh bite to it, and all you could do was shake your head. You don’t know what to do, what to say—

“So, if I hit her up right now to tell her to come fuck you with me, you’d say no?” Her hand cupped your pussy, her palm digging into your clit. You hand came to rest atop hers to lessen the gap. Her slender fingers reached down and scooped some slick to bring back up to your clit. She rubbed you in slow circles and lapped at your neck, sucking more marks into your skin. You dug your nails into her wrist. 

“I-I— “

“You what? Wanna fuck my friends? Want them t’pass you around and give you back to me?” She spat, and you moaned at the imagery. Her friends were so fucking hot!

… Give you back to her? What does she mean?! You’re about to flatline if she keeps touching you like this! 

“Ellie, fuck— “

“Yeah? I treat this pussy good?” Her fingers sped up on your clit, forcing more juices out of your cunt. You squeezed around nothing, and your head fell back on her shoulder, whining at the ceiling as your orgasm grew in your tummy. 

“So good, Ellie, fuck yes!” 

“Uh huh, bend over, angel,” you listened and kicked your heels off before laying over the corner of the mussed bed, your hat flying off in the process. 

“Put that back on,” she muttered. 

“Hm?” you threw over your shoulder. She looked so sexy right now, what the fuck. 

“Your hat, s’cute. Put it back on.” 

You swore your heart grew wings. You sloppily threw it over your head and her fingers slid inside you. Your walls stretched to accompany her digits, and your head dropped onto the covers. The ring on her index finger was pressed against the entrance of your cunt the deeper she slid, and you squealed when her pace quickened. 

Your orgasm rose much quicker than you would’ve liked. You never wanted Ellie to stop touching you! You want her close, close, close—

“Missed this angel cunt, my fucking god.” 

“M’close, El, please, fuck! —“

“Yeah? Like when do what I fuckin’ want?” 

“Yes! Yesyesyesyes—“ Your walls were strangling her. 

“Who’s pussy is this,” she sounded so gross, like she already knew your answer. 

“E-Ellie’s pussy,” She hits it so good! 

“So cum for me, baby.” 

You did, you did, you did! 

You would’ve hit the floor if she wasn’t there. Her free arm wrapped around your waist to hold you up. You could hear her laughing as your legs shook and your cunt choked the fuck out of her, moans of her name muffled by the blanket that your face was shoved into. 

“Atta girl, feels nice?” She cooed at you as her pace slowed. You whined in agreement while your clit twitched in aftershock. 

She kissed the bottom of your spine before helping you into the mattress to recover. You heard her phone go off. 

“C’mon, put your shoes on. Dina’s ready to go.” 

… She expects you to walk?! 

Ellie slipped off somewhere after leaving you with Dina and Niah, saying that she had something to take care of before leaving. The party was still live!

And Jesse was fucking sloshed! He could barely stand up without his teammates supporting him. 

Your arms were thrown around Niah’s neck while you sweetheart danced to Future. She gets so smiley when she’s faded; It’s adorable! 

“Where’d your girl go?” she yelled over the music. 

You blushed and smiled, “I dunno! She said give her a minute!” 

Niah nodded and whispered in Dina’s ear, and Dina gave her a thumbs up. 

“Come pee with me right quick!” 

You agreed and followed her through the crowd again — the one downside to great parties: you can barely fucking move! You reached the dimly lit hallway and thanked god that the line wasn’t long. 

Until Niah grabbed your arm to stop you in your tracks. 

You flinched and furrowed your brows at her, “What’s the matter?” 

“Uh, nothing!” She looked around frantically, “Let’s just use the one upstairs!” 

“… Why?! The line isn’t even long,” You nudged her off you playfully and pointed at the three girls standing by the bathroom door. She stopped you again. 

“Bro I can wait til we get home. C’mon—“ She shook her head at you. 

But you brushed past her, “Stop being weird! It’ll take two seco— “

Your heart plummeted from your chest to the floor when you saw Ellie with her hand up shroom-bar-girl’s skin-tight dress, her tongue sliding over hers in a deep kiss. Shroom-bar-girl looked like she was about to explode, and Ellie smirked, her lips moving over hers like she was talking her through it. 

Tears jerked in your eyes at the sight, your fists clenching, painted nails digging into your palms. But you couldn’t look away. 

Niah grabbed your hand and yanked you away from the disastrous scene, trekking back through the crowd— can they fucking move! — and out onto the porch. You wiped your tears roughly when Dina approached with a concerned look, but Niah brushed her off, saying you’ll tell her in the morning. 

Niah hugged you while you cried silently, the both of you waiting in the freezing cold for the Uber. 

You and Ellie were never official, but you couldn’t ignore the fiery pain that sliced through you like a blade. 

After all this time, did people still find you this disposable?

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BACK ON MY ELLIE SHIT BIG PUR

if theres a typo no theres not

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teaser, 1, 3, four

#fratadjacent!ellie #ellie williams au #ellie williams smut #ellie williams #ellie williams angst #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #black!oc #lesbian #ellie williams tlou #works 𖧧࣪ #ellie williams x black!oc #Spotify

[machetegirl109]

Synopsis: During a hot day at the beach with your friends, the sexual tension between you and Ellie leads the both of you to the passenger seat of her truck; again. *inspiration: tudo aconteceu by mc du black*

Warnings: 18+, MDNI, F/F, modern!AU, suggestive and offensive language, weed&alcohol, smut, dry humping, very good vibes, loser!ellie x reader

important info about my stories here

©machetegirl109 (credits to tudo aconteceu by mc du black that inspired me to write this) DO NOT copy/steal my work OR post it on any platforms

Word Count: 2.2k+

Oneshot: It All Happened

❝︎i fell in love

now i miss you endlessly❞︎

It was a hot day. The sun shined bright and no dark clouds were visible in the sky; it was the perfect day to go to the beach, and oh, Ellie was dying to. As soon as Dina texted her, demanding that she’d meet her, Jesse and you at the beach, excitement formed at the pit of her stomach as she hurriedly changed from her sleepwear to a black triangle two-piece set, anticipating seeing you again. She wondered what swimsuit you would wear this time, if it was the colored one that flattered the tone of your skin, or that Brazilian cut bikini that perfectly displayed your pretty ass.

Ellie put on a pair of light washed jean shorts, not bothering to put on a shirt and stepping into her simple havaianas. Grabbing a tote back and packing it with some necessities like a towel, water bottles and sunscreen, as well as a tin of Altoids that was filled with some pre-rolls. She gets into her truck and makes her way to the beach, quietly singing along to the song that plays on the radio. The memory of you on top of her, wearing nothing but a wet bikini bottom and a blunt between your fingers replayed inside her head – What I’d give to see her all high and fuck out on my lap again she thought and her blood felt like electricity as it flowed through her veins all the way down to her core.

After driving for about an hour, she finally arrives and parks her car in a more secluded area before the entry of the beach — The spot was hidden behind some palm trees that blocked surrounding vision, making it the perfect place to spend some alone time with you later. Ellie takes her things and heads to the beach, her eyes wander around until she spots Jesse sitting on his sunchair; head laid back, eyes closed towards the sunny sky and body spread on in as he holds a cold Heineken can. Upon hearing someone approach him, Jesse turns his face to his side, looking at Ellie who’s setting her tote bag onto the burning sand and taking a seat on the chair next to his.

“Ellieee, ‘sup, my friend!” He reaches his hand towards hers, exchanging a dap greeting. Ellie smiles and he continues. “There’s some drinks on the cooler right there,” Jesse points to a small light-blue icebox a few steps from them. “And some snacks on the bag beside it,” She nods looking at the black backpack. “Feel free to take whatever you want; Dina and Y/N are taking a swim.” Ellie turns her gaze to the wide blue ocean, watching as you and Dina laugh splashing the water around.

“Thanks. You getting in, too?”

“Yeah, just wanted to drink a bit and catch a tan first.” Ellie stands and walks towards the cooler, opening and getting a beer. Going to sit again, she opens it and takes a sip, the cold liquid refreshing her throat as she lays her back onto the beach chair. “What about you, gonna take a dip with Y/N?” She chuckles and turns her face away from him.

“I don’t know what you mean by that,”

“Haa, I’m not so sure about that. You think we don’t know what y’all were up to in your car when we came to the beach last week?”

“We just… Talked. And- and we hotboxed.” She trips over her words, shy over the little escapade you two had.

“Whenever two people who have insane sexual tension are together, in a closed space, they do a lot more than just talking.” Jesse proclaims as if it was a matter of fact and Ellie rolls her eyes.

“Whatever… You’re so annoying.”

“I know,” He says proudly as he places his drink on the sand and stands up. “I’m gonna go play mermaids’ with Dina now, wanna come?”

“Not now, go ahead.” Ellie watches as Jesse lets out an alright and he begins to walk towards the crystalline water, swimming towards you and Dina who smiles as he approaches. Soon the three of you engage in a conversation following up by Jesse making an exaggerated mermaid act, causing you and Dina to swim a little further from him.

“Can you two please stop being boring bitches and have fun?” He pleads, upset over the fact you nor his girlfriend wanted to act like kids in public.

“Yeah, no. I’m not gonna swim around and act stupid like you.”

“You’re just mad I have childlike wonder, Y/N.” He goes closer to Dina and wraps his arms around her. “Will you play with me, Dina? You can be Ariel and I’ll be Prince Eric.”

“We can reenact that scene where he drowns but instead of saving you I just swim away.” Dina suggests and he lets an annoyed huff out.

“Wow, I thought you loved me.”

“God, Jesse, when did you get so dramatic?” She hugs him back and he kisses her cheek. “I’ll play with you.”

“Y/N?” Jesse looks at you with puppy eyes and you hum. “Will you play with your dear friends?”

“No, but thanks for asking.” He kisses his teeth and throws the salty water in your direction. “Jesse!”

“You should go be boring with Ellie,” He says, pulling Dina closer to where the ocean got deeper. “She's by our stuff.” A smile appears on your face as Jesse lets you know she’s already here, you begin to swim back hurriedly, excited to see Ellie again. “They’re down bad for each other, huh?” Dina nods in agreement, the two of them watching you running towards the spot you all settled in when you arrived at the beach earlier this morning.

When Ellie sees you walking towards her, her green eyes sparkle with desire as she looks down at your body, almost exposed under the tiny bikini you’re wearing. You two exchange smiles with hidden intentions on it. When you finally stop in front of her chair, you lower yourself on her lap, pulling her into a hug; her body shivers as your cold wet body touches her hot one. Ellie takes in your scent, the mixture of sand and salty water into her nose as she presses her face onto the crook of your neck, making you only hug her even tighter.

“Hi Els,” You say softly as you pull back, looking at her face — Cheeks slightly red from the sun and her freckles more intense. “I wanted to see you so bad.” You confess shyly; not being able to take her off of your mind since the last encounter you two had.

“I wanted to see you, too.” Her hand comes up to your cheek, softly caressing it. “Did you not want to play mermaids with Jesse?” Ellie asks with humor in her voice and you chuckle.

“Yeah, I'd rather be around you,” Her smile widens and her hand falls to your naked thigh and your heartbeat falters. “Why didn’t you get in?” Ellie raises her other hand that holds her beer and gives it a little shake.

“I was just finishing up, and–” Ellie fingers trace up and down your soft skin, she looks down at your chest, covered by a small burgundy triangle top, and then backs up your eyes as she clears her throat. “To be honest, I was hoping you'd come here. I brought you something.” She leans forward on her beach chair with you still seated across both her legs, and places her can onto the sand, grabbing her tote bag. You observe her attentively as she removes a scratched metal tin and places it into your hands. Opening it, you see four perfectly wrapped blunts.

“Really? They're for me?” You give her a toothy smile, making her heart melt.

“Uhm. Just for you.” You close the tin and press a kiss onto Ellie's freckled cheek, who instantly holds your hips closer. You lean into her, moving your lips to her ear; giving a soft bite on her lobe. You can feel her body slightly shake under you – A naughty smile creeps up your face and you place one to the back of her neck, gripping it harshly as you pull her impossibly closer to you.

“You should take me to your car.” Your warm breath hits down her ear as you whisper and an almost inaudible moan escapes her lips. Ellie stands causing you to be back on your feet again and she quickly holds your empty hand, pulling you towards the beach entry with her. You try to keep up with her pace as you follow behind, and soon enough you two reach her old truck that hides behind the palm trees. Not being able to wait anymore, she presses you against the door and smacks a kiss onto your lips. Her soft lips carry a slight taste of the beer she was previously drinking.

You place your arms around her shoulders and Ellie clutches your hip with one hand as the other one moves down your thigh, grabbing it and bringing it up making you close your leg around her waist. She bites your bottom lip and pulls it forward with her teeth, her head going back as you reach her face to kiss her again. Before you're able to press them together again, she lets go of it and drops your leg back on the ground: giving your ass a slap as she pulls you away from the door.

Ellie opens the passenger seat door and enters; getting comfortable onto the seat as she pats both her hands over her thighs that are uncovered on her small low waist jean shorts.

“C’mere, pretty.” With no need to tell you twice, you get in, setting yourself on top of her with each of your legs divided on her sides; you throw the small metal tin on the driver’s seat. You press a small kiss on her lips before they make their way down her neck – One of her hands meets your ass again; she squeezes it roughly, earning a moan from you, and the other closer to the door reaches for the handle, shutting it close. “You look for fucking hot wearing that,” You move your lips back to hers and soon you two start a heavy and messy make out session.

Sinking your teeth into the plumpiness of her bottom lip, she opens her mouth allowing your tongue to move in and hers, too, explores the inside of your mouth. You grip her short locks tightly and she groans inside the kiss; both her hands holding onto each side of your asscheeks, rocking you back and forth above her crotch.

As the moans of you two start to get louder and louder each time your hips hit towards hers, you break the kiss; planning your hands on the sides of the headstand as Ellie tries to open her legs as much as she can in order to feel your clothed cunt rub against hers. She stares deep in your eyes, holding onto you as if you were about to run away, Ellie starts to move you against her even faster and rougher.

“Shit–” Her chest raises up and down fastly, her lungs losing air as she sees you untying your top and discarding it beside the joint-filled altoids. She feels herself getting even wetter at the vision of your perky nipples; lowering her mouth on your boobs, she alternates between the two as she sucks and licks, bites and kisses. Adrenaline and lust run through your veins as you feel her warm muscle on your sensitive nipples.

“Els– ahh,” Pornography moans leave your mouth, you two reaching closer and closer to that final snap inside the pit of your stomachs. “Don't stop, don't stop, pleasepleaseplease,” Upon hearing your cries, Ellie moans along with you as she deliciously rubs your cunt more violently against her own. Her eyes roll back as she feels your hand move from her naked stomach to her covered chest, sliding it under her top and flicking her nipple.

“Baby, baby– I'm gonna cum,” Ellie announces as her mouth lets go of your tits with a wet plop. You nod your head, letting her know you will, too. “Kiss me,” Tending to her wish, you put your lips on hers, kissing it one last time before you two reach your releases’. As Ellie feels the creamy liquid drip inside her bikini bottoms, her guidance on your hips falter, making you slow down, too, riding out your high. “Holy fuck.”

You let yourself fall into her as tiredness hits you. Ellie moves her hands to your back, giving you a bear hug. As the two of you take your time to catch your breath, she presses kind and loving kisses over your face, making you giggle with adoration.

“You want to smoke a little?” Ellie asks, a hint of desperation on her voice as she has finally met the opportunity to get you looking all pretty with your eyes red and horny on her lap, again. You nod your head, excitement making its way through your body.

“Yes, I do!”

ೃ⁀➷ thank you for reading! feel free to comment your thoughts, reblog, leave a heart and follow me˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

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#ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #ellie williams x y/n #ellie x y/n #ellie williams smut #ellie tlou smut #loser!ellie #it all happened ellie williams #©machetegirl109

[ctitan98official]

Anonymous: It’s parent’s weekend and Larissa meets wednesdays aunt who’s casually sweeping her off her feet. (figuratively and literally) maybe they’re close in height. masc r

Sweet, I love this prompt! I only write gender-neutral reader, but they will be taller than Larissa because that’s cute. Let’s get into it!

Morticia and Gomez, your big brother, were scheduled to come to Parent’s Day at Nevermore for Wednesday. However, something came up with Pugsley and they asked you to come in their stead. 

You didn’t mind. You love spending time with your niece. You get each other.

“‘Sup, nerd?” You smile and hold out your fist to Wednesday when she comes to greet you.

“Not much, loser,” She jokes back (Albeit it her usual monotone) and bumps her fist with yours.

You look around and grimace at how fancy the school is. Places this high-end make you feel uncomfortable. You shoot Wednesday a grin. “No wonder you hate this fucking school, short stuff. Place gives me the creeps and I’m an Addams,” You say. 

You can tell that Wednesday is trying desperately not to laugh, hoping to remain stoic. She’s been this way since she was little. It makes you chuckle. “So, what exactly are we supposed to be doing today?” You ask her.

Wednesday shrugs. “They really just want to show off the school,” She says and crosses her arms. “They probably want to rat us out to our parents too.” She is endlessly annoyed that she’s here, but you can’t help but notice her stealing quick glances over at a cute little blonde about her age.

“Who’s that?” You ask and point at her.

Wednesday panics and immediately pushes your arm down. “Don’t point like that, Y/N! She’s going to see,” She snaps, her somber affect once again cracking. She huffs. “That’s Enid. My roommate.”

This time you laugh really hard. “Calling your girlfriend your roommate is a genius cover,” You grin.

Wednesday gasps and punches you in your side.

“FUCK!” You yelp really loudly and hold the spot where she hit you. “Cheap shot, pigtails,” You grunt.

This time Wednesday allows a small, self-satisfied smirk to show.

As the pain subsides and you are finally able to breathe again, the parents and students around you give you dirty looks. You roll your eyes. You almost make a smart-assed comment, but the sound of someone lightly clearing their throat behind you makes you turn. The sight that greets you will forever be burned into your brain. An angelic woman with perfectly coiffed hair and piercing blue eyes fills your vision. She’s the most gorgeous thing you’ve ever seen… Even if she does look a little miffed about your loud cursing a bit earlier.

However, she soon smiles at Wednesday. “Ms. Addams, who might you have with you?” She asks and looks back at you. “I don’t think we’ve had the pleasure of meeting,” She says and holds out a dainty hand to you.

You quickly take it, and without thinking, lean down to place a gentle kiss on her knuckles. “Y/N Addams. The pleasure is all mine, beautiful,” You say and shoot her a wink.

Larissa feels her heart skip a beat at your suave gesture. You are so charming and good-looking. Damn, why is she nervous? Her cheeks also heat up as she realizes that you are actually a bit taller than her. She quickly decides that this is a nice change of pace. She’s used to being the tallest person in the room, but you make her feel… petite and demure. She likes it. Larissa stands and looks at you wide-eyed for a moment before her brain starts working once more. She shakes her head slightly and flashes you a breathtaking smile. “My name is Larissa Weems. I am Nevermore’s principal,” She says, trying to control her emotions.

You love how her face brightens as she looks at you. “My niece was just telling me about how much she loves Nevermore. Right, Wednesday?” You tease.

Wednesday growls quietly at this.

Larissa giggles at you. Clearly, Wednesday has already told you about how much she hates the school. She hopes that will change, though. “We certainly adore having such a bright student like Wednesday,” She says, offering a friendly smile to the brooding teen.

The principal is so… Warm. You would have expected her to be pretty stuck up and snobby with how drop-dead beautiful she is. But, she’s very gracious. It only endears her to you more.

The two of you don’t realize how long you’ve been staring at each other until Wednesday begins tugging on your sleeve to get your attention. “Let’s get going, Y/N,” She suggests, feeling uncomfortable with how much you are checking Larissa out.

You blush and bring your hand up to nervously scratch the back of your head. “Yeah, you’re right, short stuff,” You say.

“Wouldn’t want to take up any more of Principal Weems’ time,” You say with a grin at the blonde.

“It has been a true delight, Y/N. I hope we might get a chance to speak more later,” Larissa all but purrs. She’s ashamed to think of all of the dirty things she wants you to do to her, but she reigns herself in. She nods politely and excuses herself to go talk to the other families.

You shamelessly stare at her butt as she walks away.

Wednesday sighs loudly at you. “Making fun of me for having a girlfriend? Looks like you just got one,” She says.

“Haha, very funny,” You say and playfully roll your eyes… But, you suddenly realize what she just said. “So she is your girlfriend!” You exclaim.

Wednesday holds up a fist threateningly. “Want me to hit you again?” She sneers.

You quickly hold up your hands to placate her. “Alright, alright,” You concede. You sigh as you shove your hands in your pockets. “Are they going to serve alcohol? I could go for some booze,” You say.

You and Wednesday walk off, unaware of the fond smile tugging on Larissa’s face as she looks at you.

You have a goofy grin as you think of Larissa. What a day. Maybe Nevermore’s growing on you after all.

Masterlist

#larissa weems #larissa weems x reader #larissa weems x y/n #larissa weems x you #wednesday netflix #wednesday addams #principal weems #larissa x reader #larissa x y/n #netflix wednesday

[gallusrostromegalus]

If you are still taking questions, could I ask about Uryuu? Or Mizuiro, I have always loved him and wanted to see more of him.

The day after The Stabbing Incident in which Ichigo's Shinigami Powers were activated, Lunchtime:

--

"Rukia!" Ichigo called from the door. "We got a club meeting!"

"What? Oh, right!" She giggled, all bubbly persona, which immediately vanished in the hall "-You signed me up for a club? Ichigo, you know I don't have time for extracurriculars!"

"Calm down, this one doesn't assign homework. We just meet on the roof for lunch." He explained, marching resolutely against the stream of traffic in the hall.

"Oh? Up to something illicit are you?" Rukia teased, ducking behind him to avoid being swept away.

"Nah, we just meet on the roof so Kon can join us." Ichigo shrugged kicking open the door to the roof.

" 'SUP NERDS!" Ichigo bellowed affectionately at the gaggle of teenagers already assembled on the roof. "Okay Rukia, this is the "I Can See Ghosts And It fucking Sucks Club", guys, this is Rukia."

"Hi miss Rukia!" Waved a readheaded girt that puberty had hit like a truck.

"-Rukia is a shinigami like the freak that used to live in my dad's attic, and last night one of those bigass monster ghosts attacked my fuckin' house and Rukia kinda accidentally-on-purpose stabbed me and now I got fuckin' shinigami powers, which is mostly being able to ditch my body and summon a bigass sword to kill the monster ghosts with."

Those assembled stared at him in silence.

There was a rattle and Kon appeared at the top of the chain-link fence around the roof. "You know Ichigo, I think I know why your Literature class grades suck." the cat sighed. "Rukia got injured and used her magic sword to transfer her powers to Ichigo to fight off the hollow, and accidentally gave him too much and now she's stuck here until the Shinigami skills bleed back out of Ichigo."

"Ohhhhh..." the group nodded.

"-By stabbing me." Added Ichigo. "I feel like the stabbing part is being lowballed here."

"Welp. time to reset the counter." Sighed a lightly disheveled young man with brown hair, and the youthful looking lad with black hair beside him opened his laptop, typed for a few seconds and then turned the screen to show the group a digital counter that read

DAYS SINCE OUR LAST SUPERNATURAL NONSENSE AND/OR GRIEVOUS BODILY INJURY: 0

Previous streak: 17.324 Days.

"Thanks. Very helpful." Sighed Ichigo. "Tweedle Dee and tweedle Dumbass here are Mizurio and Keigo."

Ichigo pointed to the brunette. "Keigo here comes from a long-ass line of psychics and has been documenting every instance of supernatural activity in Karkura town going back to the middle ages since he was like. Ten? Don't let the fact that he's deliberately failing out of school fool you, he's probably the world's most brilliant moron."

"Iiiiiichigoooo, why you gotta make me sound like a loser in front of the actual-factual ghost girl?" Keigo whined.

"I'll stop making you sound like a loser when you stop being a loser." Ichigo huffed, and pointed to the black-haired youth beside him. "Babyface McGee here is Mizurio, he's our other technology geek, and he can cast Summon Gun."

"Pleasure to meet you Miss Rukia!" Mizurio said, extending his hand politely. "If you need some armament against the- what did you say they were called? Hollows? - I can provide you with something. First one's on the house, as my Uncle says."

"Oh!" Laughed Rukia. "By 'summon gun' you mean you have a way of purchasing weapons! I thought for a second you had the magical ability to spontaneously manifest guns or something ridiculous like that!"

The group collectively grimaced at her, except for the silent Giant, who was too busy snuggling Kon.

"Have you ever fired a weapon like a handgun Miss Rukia?" Mizurio asked holding his hand up beside his head, as though holding up an invisible object.

"Uh." Said Rukia, staring at his hand. ""...No."

"In that case I'm going to reccomend a Glock-17 lightweight pistol-" Mizurio nodded, and a small, bright blue light ignited in his palm, swirling and drawing Reishi into it, forming a physical object.

"-it's very reliable and easy to sight accurately, and doesn't have much of a kickback so I'm confident you'll only need a little practice to be able to handle it reliably!" He smiled cheerfully as the object finished manifesting in his hand, and he easily unloaded it with a practiced motion, set the saftey out of habit and offered it to Rukia to inspect.

"UH." Said Rukia, recoiling from the weapon with alarm.

"Oh don't worry!" Mizurio chirped. "Any gun that I make- And I make them, not summon them- has infinite ammo once the clip is loaded, and it's perfectly effective against hollows! You'll be perfectly fine using it!"

"I- You- I mean-" Rukia sputtered, staring wide-eyed at the gun. "-Did you. Learn? to do this?"

"Hm-..." Mizurio frowned at the gun. "Well, I've gotten better at it over time, but it's not like anyone taught me, if that's what you mean."

"Uh-huh." Rukia nodded, teeth bared in an attempt at a smile that completely failed. "You. Uh. You got any German ancestry?"

"Oh, I wouldn't know!" Mizurio laughed. "I don't actually know who my father is, and I strongly suspect he doesn't know his father either! Why?"

"...Mizurio, I think you're a Quincy."

---

Downstairs in the lunchtime meeting of the Karkura High School Crafts Club, Uryuu Ishida sneezed in the middle of a demonstration of different stitch types, and knocked over a large bottle of glitter, coating the entire room.

"...That's a bad omen if I ever saw one." Muttered one of the girls, sparkling.

---

"What's a Quincy?" Mizurio asked.

"It's a- Okay, before I start an explanation, is there anyone else here with weird supernatural powers?" Rukia asked.

There was a whirl of energy behind her and she turned to see the Silent Giant that had been cradling Kon had manifested a strange, sleek armor over his right arm. Kon was still cradled like a very spoiled infant in his left arm, purring.

"Hi. I'm Sado Yasutora, but I go by Chad." he spoke, voice barely above a mumble as he cautiously peeked up at Rukia through his bangs. "This is my punchin' arm."

"...Great." Whimpered Rukia.

#AEIWAM #an elephant is warm and mushy #Bleach #bleach fanfic #ishida uryuu #ichigo kurosaki #Mizurio Kojima #Keigo Asano #chad yasutora #Making Mizurio the most found-in-a-taco-bell-dumpster Quincy ever is so fun

[signed-loni]

So can we have sally face chacter (by sally face characters I mean the gang: Ash, Larry, Sal) with a fem! S/O that is kinda like the fem version of rodrick from the diary of a wimpy kid like shes a rough person and in a band and etc also her style being similar to this u dont have to do it lol have a good rest of ur day and drjnk water pls :)

ARRRRRRRGGJHH I LOVE THIS STYLE SM

Anyhooooo YESS!!

Warnings: cusssing, reader is fem!

Sal 🎭

Sal is like fucking crazy for you

LOVES THAT YOUR IN A BAND

(My bfs a drummer AND LEMME TELL YOU, PEOPLE WHO ARE IN BANDS R HOT ASF)

He loves when you come over to his house and just mindlessly play ur drums while he tells you about his day/ olays hus guitar

Since your literally rodrick, your gonna be the oldest out of two sisters

Your little sister, whos in middle school, you LOVE to poke fun at.

Sal saw you making fun of her and was a bit concerned, but realized you were just playing around and was like “phew”

“Sup ugly? Y’gonna go see that loser friend of yours or what?” U say to your little sister “rachel is NOT a loser! Shes just different.” Your sister says back “whatever you say nerd.” You say and bring sal back up to your room

“Were..you being serious?” Sal asks, a bit quiet “huh? Oh,no. I love her, thats just how we show our love. She knows i dint actually mean that” you respond back, 100% honestly “oh! Ok.” Sal replies, a bit relieved

Comes to LITERALLY all of your band performances! Doesnt miss a single one and is your biggest supporter EVER.

probably owns every single piece of merch your band sells, and his room is just LITTERED with things from ur band

Your band mates can b fuckin jerks ngl

they comment on ur bfs mask and ur like “The fuck??? Uhm not to my fucking face i think tf not”

You probably beat then tf up or smth idfk

🤎Larry🍃

“so we fuckin with ur band music playin or nah?”

much like sal. Comes to every one of ur band practices and fuckin jams out to ur shit

Has all of ur guys’ music on a cd or vinyl

acc fuckin obsessed w u

likes to go on liquor store dates w u (kinda like the part in rodrick rules where him and greg go to the liquor store ykwim)

Acts offended when ur mean to him as a joke

”Babe! What the hell! I thought u loved me😞”

“Larry, listen CLOSELY, theres no fuckin way your laying a HAND on my drums. Theres just no way. I know u have cheeto fingers. Dont even think about it”

Laughs hysterically every single time u say smth “mean” to ur sisters.

but thats mostly bc hes normally high out of his mind

speaking of which, GETTING HIGH WHILE U GUYS R PLAYING UR INSTRUMENTS OR SMTH LIKE THAT. HOLY FUCK.

idk what its called, but when ur partner takes a hit and blows it into ur mouth, HOLY SHIT THATS FUCKING HOT

does that w u all the time btw

probably snuck into ur room one time to play ur drums, and right as u walked in u saw him, and literally slapped the FUCK outta him. Its was hilarious

overall loves the crap outta u and is so supportive of ur music career, always telling ppl at school or sm to listen to u guys play and gives them the address to ur guys’ next performance

best bf ever

sry i didnt add ash, lost motivation

#sally face #sal fisher x reader #sally face x reader #sal fisher #sally face hcs #ashley campbell x reader #todd morrison #todd morrison hcs #ashley campbell hcs #larry johnson headcannons #larry johnson x reader #larry johnson #larry fanfiction

[disaster-twins-incorrect-quotes]

Some More Disaster Twins Headcannons (Happy and Sad):

___________________________

-●- Leo and Donnie will sometimes walk into the other twin's room, make direct eye contact with each other, knock something over, insult them, and then leave.

-●- When one of them comes home, they will greet each other with variations of "Sup fucker", "Hey piss baby", "Lol wussup loser", "I'm home dipfuck", etc.

-●- They both know decent Spanish, but mainly use it just to bully each other and swear without getting caught.

-●- Leo loves sweets, but sometimes Donnie can't handle them very well. So if Donnie starts to get sick from whatever sweet he is eating, he just hands the rest of it to Leo, who gladly takes it and eats the rest.

-●- Both twins are heavy sleepers, to the point where you have to violently shake or yell at Leo to get him fully up and you have to double check that Donnie actually awake and not just talking in his sleep.

-●- One of the twins will say "floor time", which means it is mandatory for both twins to lay on the floor and vibe for a while.

-●- Leo will open up a container of mints and immediately Donnie will look up at him and stick his hand out for one. It's become a game for Leo to see if he can get a mint without Donnie noticing. He has never won this game. Sometimes Donnie will even emerge from another room. It's a little spooky-

-●- They did and still do matching costumes for Halloween. They've done things like an angel and devil, a witch and a black cat, horror movie killers, etc. Sometimes they suck Mikey and Raph into their plans as well. Also both twins are horror movie junkies and like to discuss how stupid some of the victims are in the movies.

-●- Donnie likes to use insults that consist of "(insert word ending in '-inkle') + fuck". Examples of this are "dinklefuck", "kinklefuck", crinklefuck", etc. Leo does not and will never understand this.

-●- Leo and Donnie are both medics in the family. All of the family knows first aid and basic life support, but Donie and Leo both know critical life support. I like to think Leo learned this from Donnie on the occasion that Donnie is down for the count and someone is severely injured.

-●- Donnie thrives with biology and mathematics, but he absolutely despises anatomy because of the sheer memorization. Surprisingly, Leo thrives with anatomy- which annoys Donnie.

The Sad Ones:

----------------------------

-●- Growing up, the twins were often pitted against each other (intentionally and unintentionally). This caused resentment when they were younger, and still some now, because it was a constant battle of "Why does Donnie do this better than you?" and "How come Leo can do this but you cant?"

-●- When they were younger (about ages 10-15), the twins could barely be in the same room without arguing.

-●- Donnie has had PTSD and severe depression since he was a kid, however he refuses to take medication for his mental health issues on account of a bad experience he had with them and "not trusting himself" (take that as you will). His PTSD also contributes to his reluctance to physical touch.

-●- The mere thought of Leo being smarter than Donnie in something makes Donnie very anxious. And on the other end, the thought that Donnie may be stronger at times makes Leo anxious.

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise!donatello #rottmnt #rottmnt donnie #chaos twins #rise!leo #rottmnt chaos twins #rottmnt leo #rottmnt incorrect quotes #disaster twins #rottmnt disaster twins #rottmnt headcanons #rise headcanons #disaster twins headcanons

[stratossphere]

cheater cheater pt. 4 | j.k

you and johnny are getting better. not perfect, but better. and you know better means you just can’t stay away. (pt 1) (pt 2) (pt 3)

warnings: smut, oral (fem. receiving), a tiny hint at drunk driving, reader is a smoker, fluff :)

word count: 8.2k

a/n: the last part…

taglist: @asskickedbygirl @kristinee @lizey-thornberry @faceache111 @brandons-wife

— —

Mark it in the pages, everyone. You, Y/n Y/l/n, were having a good time for the first night in what felt like months. Things had been…slowly…getting better with Johnny, and tonight you were actually getting along.

You were out with all of the crew, as you usually were, but what made being around everyone different this time was that you and Johnny had been slowly working towards getting better, so there was no animosity to tinge the night so far. No more screaming matches, no more angry sex and horrible insults, and no more…other people. You had spent the last three weeks or so doing exactly what you’d promised to do, and it was actually going pretty well.

So yeah. Not perfect, but not bad, either. Johnny was actually somewhere else in the club everyone had agreed to meet at, and you hadn’t actually gotten to talk to him, but your last ‘date’ had ended on a good note, so you weren’t exactly worried.

In fact, you were having the time of your life with your friends.

"Jennifer Aniston!" Steve-O called out the next celebrity in your game of Bang or Rob, and then put his hand to his chest. "Bang. I met her. She's nice."

"Also met her, but rob. Do you know the kind of cash flow she's sitting on? I could buy myself a fucking mansion with that." You scoffed, sipping out of your liquor bomb drink as you spoke.

"I would bang. Blondes are like, the thing, man." Dave said, chuckling to himself as the liquor completely invaded his senses. Ryan put a hand over his heart and let out a girly hum.

"Aww, that's so sweet. I knew there was a reason God made me blond." He crooned. In that moment, your large indulgence on liquor got the better of you, and you laughed hard. What were you supposed to do? Ryan was literally the world's funniest person, and it only got worse once you stopped being sober.

However, your laughter was cut short out of surprise, because suddenly a familiar set of hands was slapping down on the table in between you and Ryan, and then Johnny Knoxville himself was leaning into them as he looked over all of us at the table.

"Sup, losers?" He said happily, a wide grin on his face as he leaned so far against the table that his head was almost level with the rest of you. “I need to talk to Y/n.”

“We’re in the middle of something. Go away.” Steve-O complained, waving Johnny off and reaching right across to drink out of your drink. You groaned and snatched the cup out of his hand before he could put his gross mouth on it, setting it over by Ryan and then starting to get out of your seat because you knew that Johnny wouldn’t give up pestering you until you followed his request.

“Be right back. We’re doing guys next.” You said, jabbing a finger at all of them before you turned to your own lovely attention-whore and dragged him away from the table. "Can I help you?"

You waited until you were sure that you were far enough away from everyone else that you knew before speaking, because you really had no idea what he was going to say. He looked unbothered, his eyes not leaving yours and his smile not faltering as your iron grip on his arm kept him in place.

"Let me buy you a drink." He offered, his smile softening a little bit as he visually tried to relax for your amusement. You paused, knowing he was just trying to get him to yourself, before nodding because one drink wouldn’t hurt.

"Fine. But only one." You warned, caving into his offer and following him towards the bar. Johnny snickered.

“Don’t get too excited.” He teased, his hand finding your lower back to guide you through groups of people to get to the club bar that was centered in the room. Once you made it to the bar, you both sat down on stools to wait for the bartender surrounded by swarms of people, and you raised an eyebrow.

“You know, you could’ve just joined our booth. You didn’t have to drag me away from everyone else.” He had a bad habit of trying to hog your attention every chance he could possibly get. He shrugged.

“They never shut the fuck up. I want you to talk to me.” God. It wasn’t like he was even trying to be subtle. You bit back amusement.

"So you miss me." You summed up, drumming your fingers against your chin where it rested in your palm as you looked at him. It was so evident in the way his eyes wouldn't leave you. When he spluttered, you shook your head and smiled just a little bit. "I don't mind if you do, PJ."

"Of course I fucking miss you. I always miss you." There it was. Just as you were going to try and respond to that with some poise, the bartender reached the both of you for your orders. He used that as his escape from the conversation.

"Rum and coke, please." Johnny gave her one of those wide smiles, and you soured at the way she winked back at him before she slowly turned to you. Johnny didn't seem to pay attention, his eyes glued to you as you ordered after him.

"Same for me." You didn’t want to make it obvious that you still didn’t like the prospect of other women flirting with Johnny, but he needed a wake up call at some point. “She your type?”

“You’re my type.” He replied easily, eyeing you pointedly as he turned completely away from where the bartender was still standing within earshot of you. You almost laughed at that, rolling your eyes.

“I don’t know if I wanna be your type.” You teased, referencing the way his flirting game was always turned up to 11. He winked at you.

"You be whatever you wanna be, babydoll. I'm just along for the ride." Yeah, he had definitely been drinking. He never said anything that douchey when he was sober. You laughed and ran a hand over your face.

"Knox. Shut up and drink." You groaned, motioning to the glass that the bartender had just slid towards him. Yours was nowhere in sight, and you could feel yourself getting irritated towards the bartender. It only got worse when you noticed pen on the napkin she slid after his drink. A phone number.

"Well, would you look at that. Maybe I'll get to find the Ville to my Y/n." He said cockily, waving his napkin at you with an instigating smirk on his face. You tensed slightly at that, because up until now he’d been in about the opposite of a joking mood about that whole situation, before biting the inside of your cheek.

"For someone who wants to make up and fix things, you sure aren't acting like it." You gave up on your attempts to skirt over your harsh feelings, instead meeting them head on with an unimpressed look on your face.

"What? You said to get over it, and when I get over things, I make jokes. And he’s a joke, so it works." And there he went, just proving your point further. You blew out a sigh, desperately wishing that you had remembered to snag your liquor bomb out of the booth before Johnny had convinced you to go to the bar. You weren't drunk enough for his bitterness.

"Stop." You said tightly just as the bartender slid your drink forward, taking a large sip of your drink to soften what could’ve been quickly turning into a fight.

“I’m kidding. Swear. I’ll stop.” Johnny said then, wiggling his eyebrows at you over the rim of his glass as he took a sip two times bigger than yours.

"That’s hilarious. I almost laughed that time.” You muttered, rolling your eyes as you watched him drink. He was clearly having a ball messing with you, and you were trying to will yourself to relax. “Glad you’re having so much fun.”

“You should be having fun, too.” He scoffed, and then you felt yourself jump a little bit when you felt his hand on your knee. Self control. Self control. Self control. “I know a few ways you could have some fun.”

“Yeah? Pray tell.” You tried to look unimpressed, but you found your eyes pulling strongly in the direction of his hand on your knee. It only got worse when his fingers started to skate higher.

“It might be a little…unsavory for where we’re at.” He said coyly, his eyes finding yours with a smirk pulling hard at his lips. You bit your tongue.

"I don't know. Sometimes I allow it. With certain people." You said offhandedly. Goddamnit. Your so called 'iron-resolve' was fucking pathetic. One genuine smile from him and you were ready to spread your legs open for him all over again. There went being patient.

"Well then you’re really gonna like what I’ve got." Just as the bartender leaned over the bar to check on you both, Johnny dipped his head towards you, his teeth finding the sensitive skin of your neck and sinking in softly. "Let me take you to the bathroom."

"PJ. Nuh uh." You pushed his head away from your neck, laughing like an idiot as you were met with lust-filled eyes. You ignored the bartender's sour look in favor of gazing curiously at him. "You seriously want to?"

"I need you, Y/n." He breathed, his hand finding my hip as his head dipped down lower so that you barely had any space between the two of you. You took one look at his parted lips and dilated pupils, then nodded in agreement. One step back was fine if it was two steps forward, right?

"Okay, let's go." You took his hand, abandoning your drinks on the bar-top as you pulled him along towards where you could see the bathrooms on the wall of the club. "Don’t tell anyone about this, okay?”

“No one fucking cares anyway.” Johnny brushed your worries off, pushing the single stall women’s bathroom open and quickly pulling the door shut behind you.

"I don't know..." You mumbled as he closed the door behind you, the twinge of guilt building up into your chest as his arms wrapped tightly around your waist. He swayed you, lips dipping back to your neck right over the spot where he had bit not two minutes earlier. "Someone definitely saw us come in here."

"Y/n." He broke away from your neck, gently taking your face in both hands and holding your gaze strongly. "You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Who cares what those assholes have to say about it, alright?"

Sometimes, in moments like these, the moments that had made you so angry at him before didn’t seem so bad. He could be so sweet. His reassuring words, his soft touches, everything. You sometimes wanted them permanently without consequence so badly.

"Okay." You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down and pull back into the moment you were currently in. Not exactly a completely romantic one, but one that appealed to you nonetheless. "Sorry."

"Don't say sorry. Just let me give you what you deserve." He said softly, his hand moving to push your hands apart where you were nervously picking at your nail beds. You looked up at him, smiling softly when you realized that you were just being stupid. Trying to hold standards that didn't exist just because you were tipsy.

His hands gently fell to your hips as he pulled you closer to him, his eyes calm and relaxed as he leaned down and kissed you softly. Familiar taste and familiar smell enveloped you, and you fisted your hands in the front of his Budweiser shirt to get him as close to you as he could go.

"You want me?" He broke your kiss to breathe softly into your ear, his wandering hands finding purchase in the back pockets of the Dickies that you had stolen from him once a long time ago and then had just never given back. You let out a shaky sigh.

"Fuck. Yeah." It felt like you were openly admitting it to yourself at that moment. You had thought that you’d be able to forget what it felt like to have Johnny's hands all over every inch of your body, but you were just lying to yourself. You could never forget, because nothing could ever compare.

"Good." He started on the belt that was holding your (his) pants up, his breath shaking in his throat as your hands slid under the hem of his shirt to touch his warm skin with your cold fingertips.

"Not in the bathroom—" You began when he suddenly dropped down to his knees on the ground in front of you once he had gotten your belt out of the loops, wincing at the thought of how dirty the bathroom floor probably was. The pants immediately sagged low on your hips without the assistance of your belt, and he tutted.

"Yes in the bathroom. I need it." He was half demanding and half pleading with you as he loosely hooked his fingers in the waist of your pants and pulled them the rest of the way down your legs. He then raised his eyebrows and slowly looked up to you after getting a look at the lacy thong you were wearing. "You planning on gettin' fucked or something?"

"Something like that." You said breathlessly as he took the fabric of your underwear between his teeth; that cheeky, shit-eating grin on his face as he began to slowly pull them down your thighs. "Okay, showboat. Quit fucking drawing it out."

"Feisty." He quickly used his hand to pull your thong the rest of the way off, and you frowned momentarily when you noticed that he was shoving the thin material into his back pocket. Before you could open your mouth again to voice a complaint, however, his hand was coaxing one of your legs over his shoulder, and then his mouth was on your clit with wide, open-mouthed tonguing kisses.

"Oh, fuck." You were no longer consciously aware of the fact that you were trying to remain subtle, and your head fell back as your fingers laced their way into his hair. "Fuck, PJ."

He hummed, his hand pushing you closer as he swiped his tongue through your pussy over and over again, a sucking sound coming rhythmically from the movements of his tongue. He had a hand splayed out over your thigh, and your hand unconsciously fell down to his, his fingers lacing together with yours so that he was holding your hand while he sucked on your clit.

Way to keep a distance.

You knew you were probably pulling on his hair a little too hard, and you could hear the whimpers and gasps that came from his mouth even with it being occupied, but every swipe of his tongue over your already-sensitive clit had sharp spikes of pleasure shooting through your stomach, and you couldn't help yourself. If you were making a mistake, might as well make the most of it.

"Fuck, I love your pussy. Could eat this all fuckin' night." Johnny gasped in a momentary break for air, his hand squeezing yours even tighter as he gazed happily up at you with shining lips.

"Keep going. Please." You said breathlessly, feeling unsteady and dizzy with the absence of his touch. He really did have you whipped. You could feel a whine building in your throat seconds before he was pressing his mouth back in your pussy, satiating the need that was threatening to consume you and pulling a high moan from your lips.

The sight of Johnny's head between your legs in the bathroom mirror was only pushing you further, and you could feel your orgasm threatening to hit you as you arched your back even further back against the counter while you applied pressure to his head with the hand in his hair.

"Don't stop." You gasped as if you would've been able to pry him away if you’d tried, rolling your hips up towards his mouth. His free hand moved to keep your hips in place, and then with a few harsh flicks of his tongue you were cumming, head dropping back as you let out a sound that was way too loud to be kept within the confines of the small bathroom.

As always, Johnny didn't stop licking and sucking until you were forcibly pushing his head from your pussy, overworked and overstimulated as you pulled a shaky leg from his shoulder. Reality then came crashing in on you over what you had just let him do and where you had let him do it, and the only thing in the room to soothe you was the pleased, fucked-out look on Johnny's face as he wiped his mouth.

"God, you look so fuckin' gorgeous." He breathed as his cheek fell to your thigh, his hand still partially holding you up as you took big, heavy gasps of air into your lungs in an attempt to ground yourself. A brisque smile fell onto your lips momentarily, just long enough to indulge him. However, he seemed to catch on to your hesitancy, and suddenly he was standing up. His mouth was so close to yours that you could practically smell what he had just been doing.

"Look at me." The demand in his voice made your heart jump, and despite the sudden pull of his fingers on your chin, your eyes raised to his slowly. He stared directly at you. "Open your mouth."

It wasn't a familiar request, but the strength of his voice and your craving for his attention after being touched so carefully coaxed you into doing as he asked, eyes slightly uncertain as you stuck your tongue out a little. And then, in a moment that you knew was going to be ingrained into your brain for the foreseeable future, he spat right into your mouth.

"You taste your fucking pussy on my breath?" The look in his eyes demanded a response, and you slowly nodded, swallowing down his spit with your free hand bunching in the hem of his t-shirt. He leaned in even closer. "That's the only place you should be tasting it. You're fucking me, you understand?"

Words could not describe the dizzy pleasure rushing through your brain at the harsh tone of his voice. He could've said anything and you still would've been nodding along like you were now. He pressed his lips to yours, tongue barely swiping into your mouth before he was breaking away.

"Good. Now get dressed and come back out." And then that fucker slipped right out of the bathroom, leaving you pants-less and in shock as you stared at the door he had closed behind himself.

"Fucking Knoxville." You muttered to yourself, shaking your head to clear your thoughts a little bit as you picked up your pants. And now you had agreed to only fuck him. Awesome.

—

That was the last thing Johnny had said to you not ten minutes before, and ever since then, you’d been trying your best to avoid him. You didn’t know how you felt about the things he’d said to you throughout the night, and you definitely weren't sure about the fact that you were feeling a lot more partial to him than you had been a week ago.

Unfortunately for you, if you let Johnny Knoxville put his hand in your pants, there was a good chance he was going to follow you around like a lovesick puppy with attachment issues until you forcibly kicked him away. Which is why, while you were trying to both listen to and tell stories with Dave at the club couch that you had moved to sit on, Johnny was basically up your ass.

First it started with him purposely acknowledging Pontius' invite for conversation right behind you so that he could not-so-inconspicuously rest his hand right behind your head on the back of the couch, which Dave noticed just as fast as you did and sent you a look that was both judgmental and amused. Then it escalated when Johnny sat down directly next to you.

"PJ." You spoke in a warning tone as his arm knocked into yours, and you felt a deep shoot of irritation run through you when he completely ignored you and continued to animatedly talk to Pontius about the long, drawn-out way that he had come up with the stunt that you were all currently in the process of getting set up for in LA.

"You guys are still broken up, aren't you?" Dave didn't sound sure of himself as he asked, and you rolled your eyes. Not everyone in the crew knew that you and Johnny were still…doing what you were doing, although you were sure some of your friends had begun to suspect you. Thankfully you had gotten better at hiding it, and this time you hadn't even left any hickeys on each other.

"Yep. And yet here he is." You grumbled, nodding your head to the side in Johnny's direction. Usually this kind of up-close-and-personal behavior would signify that Johnny had been through a few too many tequila shots, but you knew that there were other reasons behind his clinginess tonight. "He's trying to get fucking attention."

"Doesn't he have a girlfriend?" Once again, Dave did not sound sure of himself on how much that really mattered. If only he knew the half of it. You pursed your lips, taking a long sip of your drink and pondering whether you had enough energy to get up and move.

"Apparently not anymore." It had been three weeks since Johnny had broken up with Mandy. Three long weeks of getting over some of the biggest fights of your lives and slowly repairing the relationship that had been tinged by the never ending drama during your breakup. "He probably fucking annoyed her into leaving like he's doing right now."

Annoyed her in one way, alright.

"Y/n, you are one of my best friends, and I love spending time with you, but I need to be like, four more drinks in before I start listening to this shit." After a second of pause, Dave spoke honestly to you, and although you really didn't want him to leave you with an overly-clingy Johnny, which he was currently getting up to do, you couldn't help but laugh.

"Fine. But take Pontius with you so that I can ream his ass into leaving me alone." You spoke a little quieter then just in case Johnny could hear you over his own rambling, motioning over to where Pontius was kneeled right on the edge of the long couch by him. "And grab me a beer, too."

Just like you thought, as soon as Johnny didn't have Chris' attention anymore, he was immediately stretching his arm over the back of the couch so that it was mere inches from being wrapped around your shoulders before he was turning in your direction. He was met by your bitter glare, which he took in head-on.

"What's wrong with you?" There was no snark in his tone, but you could tell that the allusion was there. You couldn't exactly blame him, because you knew perfectly well that you looked miserable, but god be damned if you weren't going to blame him anyway. You weren't quite done being mad at him, after all.

"Do you have to sit right next to me? You're touching me." You complained, shooting a dirty look at the lack of space between you. He didn't move, which didn't surprise you at all, just let a hint of a grin ghost his lips.

"Did you get rid of everyone on purpose, or are you just scaring people away with that look on your face?" He retorted, raising his eyebrows in question over the rims of his JK monikered sunglasses. You just stared at him, trying to hold yourself back from snapping something back.

"Getting me a drink and being scared off are two different things. Just like making conversation and pestering." You were speaking pointedly, and you made sure that he could tell by the look on your face. He blew his breath out in an almost-whistle, shaking his head.

"You wanna make conversation? I'll make conversation." You could tell that you were starting to get to him, and you had to bite back a grin at the fact. Usually he was pretty easy-going, and your attitude did nothing if not encourage him more, but today he was evidently off his game. He wasn’t quite done being mad at you, either. Baby steps. "You wanna hear the story I was telling Chris?"

"Hell n—"

"It actually involves you. So you know how you learned how to do that move where you kick someone and knock them out just in case we did a bit on it?" Great. It involved you. That was always nice. When you gave up on ignoring him and just nodded along, he continued. "I wanted all the guys to get that done to them to see who takes it best, but I know you're busy tomorrow so I found a different chick that can do the same thing. You know, because it's funnier to have a bunch of guys get knocked out by a girl."

"Why are you setting up before the actual day if it's not a set stunt?" You could get knocked out anywhere in the world. You didn't need a set for that. You knew you were just digging yourself into a hole by asking questions, as he would definitely answer by tenfold, but you were kind of in a tough position considering he was about three inches away from you. And you weren't completely against the fact that you could smell the scent of his sweet cologne due to how close he was to you.

"Because I want them to fall off a ledge and onto a catch bag when they go down." He said it like it was obvious. Sometimes you wondered if something was a little not right in his head. "God, I wish you could be there tomorrow. You could've done those cinematic falling shots. You know, you could always just—"

"Don't ask me to come in. It’s my one day off." You had been working non-stop for close to two months now, and you were starting to get a little burnt out. It also didn’t help that you knew you’d be deathly hungover by the time morning came. Plus, he didn't really care about your falling shots. He just wanted you to be there so that you were the one doing the kicking.

"Even if I did come in, I wouldn't get any shots, because you'd want me to kick."

"You just look so much better on camera." You were supposed to be ‘gently leading back into things’, but he could say things like that. He was just full of good stuff tonight. You raised an eyebrow, shaking your head.

"Funny." You were refraining from making any comments on that. He seemed to be in too much of a good mood for things to genuinely bother him, but you didn't want to chance it. You were honestly enjoying his company (for once) too much to ruin it.

"What? Your face is cinematically pleasing." He protested, reaching out to pat your knee with a satisfied look at his own compliment. You snorted.

"Cinematically pleasing. That's an interesting compliment." You muttered, grinning despite your best intentions. He really was funny, whether on purpose or not. "PJ, you don't care about being cinematically pleasing. You just want it to look like it hurts."

"But I care about you caring about it." He insisted. You then noticed that he had never taken his hand off of your knee after he'd first touched it, and you silently wondered if he was even talking to you past trying to get in your pants for the second time in an hour. "You know, we should really buy you one of those fancy still shot cameras. You take great fuckin' pictures. I think you’re even better than Kosick."

"You're being real nice. I thought you were mad at me." You said softly. His hand hadn't moved up any further, but you knew it wanted to. Especially because he was pointing out things that he never even made a point to mention before.

"Can’t be mad at you when you look as good as you do, dollface." As he said that, you scoffed with a badly-suppressed grin, because he was really something else, but he clearly was oblivious, because he continued to talk. "Anyway, I think the next stunt we're gonna set up is—"

Dave and Pontius never came back. Which meant, in turn, you were left with the babbling wonder for the unforeseeable future, during which he didn't shut up for more than a breath before continuing into whatever asinine topic he could think of next. The only time he'd left you alone was to get up and get the both of you more drinks, but he'd been back with a bottle of vodka before you could make an escape.

By the time you could see your friends progressing into drunk, doing-stupid-things territory, it felt like your mind was melting. You and Johnny were still sitting on the couch, but you were now turned sideways so that you were facing him directly with your legs crossed and your face resting in both hands as you stared dead-ahead in his general direction. You were starting to think that you were going to have to toughen up and escape for home. You weren’t sure you were going to be able to deal with this any longer.

"...and I didn't hate it, per se, but I didn't really like it, either. I mean, it was better with you, but I haven't done it since." He was now on the topic of acid since he'd seen someone selling it in the corner of the club, and he was telling you things you already knew. Like he said, you’d seen him on acid a few times. "Did I ever tell you about the time that I thought you were coming to kill me when we took acid?"

Alright. Enough.

"PJ. Honey." You took the one of his hands that wasn't holding the vodka bottle in yours, evidently startling him out of continuing his story as his gaze steadied on yours. You shook your head. "No more stories."

"Oh, Jesus. I've been talkin' your ear off." He seemed to suddenly realize how long you’d been sitting there and how much more crowded it had gotten since you’d arrived pretty early in the night. You nodded slowly, stifling a yawn.

"I gotta hand it to you. You really know how to keep me from getting out of control in your own, special way." You muttered, leaning your head to the side so that you could rest it against the back of the couch. "And you don't have to tell me about when you thought I was going to kill you when you were on acid. I remember when that happened. You freaked out and rolled yourself out of bed."

"Why didn't you tell me to shut up sooner?" He asked, as if the thought of him rambling until you died actually bothered him. You let go of his hand, reaching into the pocket of your sweatshirt until you found your cigarettes and lighter before pulling them out.

"I was waiting for Dave to come back with my beer." That was a lie, and he knew it, but it was easier than admitting that you liked the sound of his voice. You let smoke pour out of your nose as you lit your cigarette with your head still resting against the couch, looking up at him with tipsy interest. He tsked, reaching out and brushing his thumb over your cheek.

"I tired you out, didn't I?" He asked, speaking softer now as your eyes closed slightly to his touch. Too much vodka and not enough self control.

"Yep." You mumbled, leaning your face completely into his palm and letting out a soft sigh. You could've fallen asleep right there if you’d put some effort in.

"You gonna go home?" He sounded slightly dejected, and you felt your heart ache. Maybe you wouldn't leave alone. Maybe. His hand was still on your cheek, and he was wearing one of your favorite shirts on him.

"Yep." You said again, taking your cigarette out of your mouth and lifting your head up off the couch to look him seriously in the eyes. "I'll take you home with me if you kiss me."

Okay. Zero self control. But he’d been sweet lately, and you felt good about tonight. His lips parted slightly in surprise, and then he was grinning.

"Oh, that's what we're doing now?" He chuckled, his eyes slowly moving down and then dragging back up in a look that was close to eating you alive. He then leaned in, the hand on your cheek moving to grip your chin before he was pressing an open-mouthed kiss to your lips. It was a lot sloppier than you were anticipating, but you’d both been pretty stringent with kissing up until then, so it was barely a second before you were reciprocating with equal effort.

Making out in the middle of a crowded club when it was pretty common knowledge that you weren't together probably wasn't the smartest idea, but honestly, who gave a fuck. If no one was ever going to pull you aside and be real like good friends were supposed to when you were making bad decisions, then you were just going to keep making them in the form of your all time favorite bad decision. Whose name happened to start with a J. And who was slowly working towards turning himself into a…neutral decision.

"Whew. Straight vodka." He said as he broke away from the kiss, making a face. Clearly his tongue in your mouth had betrayed how much you’d been drinking throughout his night of storytelling, and you winced apologetically.

"Yeah. I think I drank too much." You admitted, looking down towards his spit-shined lips another time and then grinning in guilt when you saw that he was watching you. "Way too much."

"Well, now I guess I have to go back to your place, huh? Make sure you don't asphyxiate." He crooned, holding out a hand for you as he started to stand up. You snickered, getting on your feet and then immediately feeling the liquor hit you as you swayed violently. Never drink sitting down.

"Thanks, Knoxville. No hidden intentions there, I'm sure." You raised your eyebrows suspiciously at him, and he feigned an offended look as he extended his arm for you to hold onto with most of your weight.

"Knoxville? You were callin' me PJ a minute ago!" He protested as he basically held you up while you walked, holding one of your hands while you used the other one to take another drag off of your cigarette and shrugged.

"That's your name." You said through smoke, giving Dave a huge grin and a thumbs up as you passed him at the bar with Pontius and Bam. He threw a hand in the air, and you just made a kissing face before he was too far behind you for him to see you anymore. Bam looked even less impressed.

"Not with you, it's not." Johnny was clearly trying to pull you faster so that you’d stop making faces at your friends, and you leaned into his shoulder and groaned at the quickened pace. Your drunk stumbling was no match for his long strides.

"Okay, PJ." You rolled your eyes, almost dropping your cigarette when Johnny reached his arm around your shoulder with his hand still holding yours to pull you away from running into someone. You blinked when your head spun. "Whew. Why did you pick vodka?"

"You like vodka. Clearly." He explained, glancing to the side to give you a pointed look. You chuckled at that, knowing that was about the truest reason he could've given. Vodka and any other liquor, especially liquor bombs, were usually a horrible mix that had you hating your life for at least a day an a half, so you were already on a path towards destruction.

You didn't know if Johnny was even sober enough to drive, but you weren't sober enough to care, so you trailed right along after him until you were getting into his car, which was sloppily parked on the curb to the left of the club. You hadn't gotten a chance to say goodbye to anyone that you had come to the club with in the first place, which you knew you were going to get shit for when you came back to work in a few days, but you couldn't be bothered considering Johnny had been literally holding your hand with his arm around your shoulders.

"I love sleepovers." You hummed as he helped you into the passenger side, blowing him a kiss and silently wishing that he had brought the bottle of vodka with him.

"Yeah, that's all it's gonna be, Y/n/n. You are plastered." Johnny said seriously, reaching across you to buckle your seatbelt and then taking your cigarette butt from you and huffing in a small drag before tossing it into the road. You pouted.

"Then we have to at least snuggle.” When had you ever had a sense of pride and self-respect, anyway? He raised his eyebrows.

"You know, if you keep all of this up, I'm gonna forget some rules that we've been following, sweetheart." He hummed softly, giving you a pointed look before shutting your door and not giving you a chance to respond. You made a face as you watched him walk around to the driver's side, drunkenly wondering when the hell you had ever been ones to follow rules.

"I'm just drunk, Peej. Let me live my life." You groaned once he opened his door, leaning your head against the shoulder of his bucket seat and blinking slowly at him. He turned the car on, giving you an I'm well aware look before resting his arm next to you on the console and taking your hand again.

"Oh believe me, honey. I'm all for you living your life."

The drive home felt like forever. You were getting tired, but at the same time you wanted to keep the party going once you got back to your apartment. You couldn’t help but picture the sight of Johnny in your bed the entire ride, running your thumb over the top of his hand as you did so whilst staring intently out the windshield.

When you finally pulled into your parking lot, you had realized that there was no way you had enough energy to keep any type of party going. Too much vodka and a long work day had sucked everything out of you. Not to mention Johnny sucking a lot out of you in the club bathroom to add onto everything.

By the time you both got into your apartment, you were ready to just give up and collapse on the first surface that was comfortable enough for sleep. However, you didn't get the option, because Johnny had a grip on you that kept you on your feet and off the floor that was looking more and more comfortable by the second.

"I'm not ready to go to bed yet." You whined when he tried to lead you towards the stairs that would lead up to where your room was. You had spotted your living room, and suddenly you were picturing your makeout session at the club. He let out a disgruntled sigh, pausing and looking around before motioning to the couch.

"Whaddya want? To sit down?" He asked, looking down as you wrapped your arms around his waist and rested your cheek against his chest. Drunk you was definitely going to want to kick your own ass in the morning. Especially because Johnny had the innate ability to remember all of what you had been doing the morning after.

"Mhm." You wanted to kiss him. If he hadn't been too tall for you to kiss him without pulling him down you would've, but you settled instead for letting him gently help you down so that you were sitting on the couch before you pulled him down next to you. You really needed to quit drinking. "We could sleep down here."

"Y/n, I already told you, we–"

"Just kissing!" You begged before he could tell you once again that you had rules to follow or whatever. He tongued the inside of his cheek, looking down at you with a spark in his eyes that you had a feeling was amusement. It only got worse when you pulled yourself closer to him, one leg half over his and your hand fisted in his shirt. He raised an eyebrow at you.

"What the hell's gotten into you?" He mumbled as your free hand came up to cup his cheek, his eyes having a hard time making it past your lips by that point. It was still dark in your apartment due to the fact that you had neglected to turn any lights on other than the stove light that was always on, but you could still see the look on his face. You smiled coyly.

"I miss you. A lot. All the time." Yep. You were definitely going to want to kick your own ass in the morning. Usually this happened the other way around, and Johnny was the one drunkenly admitting how much he missed you. And usually you were the one saying–

"No you don't." Johnny's eyes were soft as he spoke, and you couldn't detect the hint of bitterness in his tone that you usually could hear whenever he spoke to you.

“I do. I was trying to keep it a secret.” You mumbled, moving your hand up to cup his cheek. It only took a second of his love-drunk look trained in your direction before you leaned forwards and closed the gap, pulling him in more by the collar of his shirt as your lips met.

It was a lot sloppier this time than before, as you were drunk and Johnny liked it sloppy, so your hands were in his hair before long as you got closer and closer to him with every push of your tongues together.

One of his hands moved to your hip under the hem of your shirt while the other one stayed on your back to keep you from leaning back too far, and you could feel your entire body heating up as you pulled on his hair slightly. You’d been doing your best to keep space between you as of late as a way to actually work on your relationship, and despite all of your best inhibitions, you had really missed this much intimacy with him. He was letting you touch him more than he had in over a month (and vice versa), and he just smelled so good. You really had no self control when it came to Johnny.

"Slow down." He broke your kiss, giving you a look as he pulled your hand away from where it had been starting to push under his shirt and towards the buckle of his belt. Always ruining your plans. "You are really persistent, sweetheart. You know that?"

"I just wanna be closer to you." You pouted, looking at him with helpless eyes and saliva-coated lips as he wiped his own mouth off with his thumb. He let out a sigh, that relaxed grin coming back onto his face as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and slowly guided you into his side. Exactly what you wanted.

"I know. I'm right here." He reassured you, running a hand over your hair and then pressing a kiss to the top of your head. Despite what people (yourself included) wanted to say about Johnny being immature and a little too carefree, he really did do a good job of taking care of you when you were drunk. You got really touchy when you’d had too much to drink, and he never complained. It probably had something to do with the fact that he was about ten times worse, but still. You appreciated what he was doing now as opposed to being dumped in your bed and left with a bucket like the rest of your friends would do.

"You're like, the best. I wish you could sleep over every night like you used to." You babbled against his shoulder, tracing your finger over the pattern of his shirt. He rubbed his hand up and down your arm, resting his cheek against your head.

"You'd get sick of me." He reasoned, watching the way you laced your fingers together with his where you’d dragged his free hand into your lap. You shook your head adamantly, looking back up to give him your most serious look before you kissed him again. And again. And again.

"No I won't. Stay here forever." You encouraged, nuzzling your face into his neck and then squeezing his hand before yawning. "I think I'm ready for bed."

"I'll carry you." He sighed, beginning to shift out of your steel grasp so that he could actually get off of the couch to pick you up. You didn't want to let him go, but you made the effort, forcing yourself to let him pull his hand away before opening your arms to him once he was standing.

You were then carried up the stairs and right into your room, Johnny taking the trip without a single problem in the pitch darkness due to how many times he had done it in the past.

He then helped you get undressed before you attempted (and failed) to do the same for him, ending up with you already curled up in bed while Johnny slowly stripped out of his clothes in the soft hue of the salt lamp you had left on due to being late for work that morning.

When he finally got into bed (and on his past pre-determined side, no less), you immediately enveloped yourself in him again, resting your head on his pillow with your arm thrown over his side as he wrapped both arms around you.

"Can I tell you something?" You asked after a little while of silence, tilting your head upwards slightly so that you could see his face. He let out a long sigh.

"Yes." He didn’t sound excited, but you were grateful that he was indulging you regardless. You paused for a second to gather your thoughts as you ran a finger up and down the muscles of his arm.

"I’m ready to be done. With waiting." You’d been ‘taking things slow’ for what felt like forever now, and you’d had enough of long talks and trying to put your feelings on a trial period. “I really miss you. And this.”

There was a king beat of silence before Johnny responded.

"Are you sure? I’ll wait as long as you want me to, sweetheart." He said quietly, kissing your cheek gently as he massaged your hip. You took a second before nodding to prove to him that you were actually using your brain to think and not just the alcohol level of your blood.

"I’m sure. I want you, and I want to be where we were." Every day that you had spent slowing yourself down and thinking out everything between you had been torture. Necessary, but torture. You had barely let yourself touch him at all, and it had been something that you would forever crave like the air you needed to breathe. “I trust you, PJ. And I still love you just as much as I did.”

Another beat of silence, and then Johnny was turning to basically wrap you in a bear hug with his weight half on top of you.

“God, I’ve been waiting for you to say that for so fuckin’ long. I’ve been done waitin’ for weeks.” He said happily, his voice a mumble against your neck as he let out a breath that sounded like he’d been holding it. “I love you. I never wanna lose you again.”

You were losing the battle to try to stay awake, and his body heat wasn't making it much better, but you wrapped your arms just as tightly around him, running your fingers through his flattened hair. A sense of peace that you had been unable to achieve over the turmoil that had been going back and forth between you for what had seemed like forever had slowly fallen over you, and you couldn’t help the full smile forming on your face.

"I'm glad you came back with me."

"Me too, baby." He sounded more content than you had heard from him in months, and you hugged him a little tighter. As long as you had him in your arms, you didn't care about anything. And it didn’t seem like you were going to have to worry about losing him again.

#johnny knoxville #johnny knoxville smut #johnny knoxville x reader #johnny knoxville fic #jackass #jackass movie #jackass mtv #jackass imagine #dave england #ryan dunn #steve o #bam margera #chris pontius

[fishfingersalad]

The foretold fic of Connie and South helping Wash bleach his hair for the first time! Includes Wash and Lina as siblings.

Fic under the cut

Lunch was a rather boring affair with York away on a mission and North on shore leave with his sister. If you asked Wash who was more likely to come back injured, he couldn’t tell you. The man was abruptly jolted out of his musings by something slamming down onto the table in front of him.

“‘Sup loser”

Wash sighed and turned to the voice, “Hi South. I thought you were supposed to be Austria or something”

South dramatically threw herself down on the bench next to him, “Firstly, it was Australia, second, I got sent home early for an attempted assault of an officer,” She flipped her hair out of her face. “Thirdly you now owe me thirty dollars.”

“THIRTY DOLLARS??? What- I- Why??” 

“Thirty dollars Australian, not American, and,” she gently threw a plastic shopping bag onto the table, “I heard you were thinking about going blond”

Wash shot up so fast he almost fell off the bench “How do you know about that? You weren’t even in the room?? I don’t even think you were on the ship?!?”

South waved her hand ambiguously “You told Ohio who told Connie who told me, and I needed to pick up some dye to redo my tips anyway. So, wanna do your hair?”

Wash considered it for a minute. Getting hair products outside of shampoo while in space was hard, plus the only other people he knew who dyed their hair were Vera and Carolina. He’d listened to Vera complaining about getting chemical burns on her scalp so he didn’t exactly trust her skills, and asking Carolina for help seemed like a good way to end up on the training room floor. It looked like South was, unfortunately, his best bet.

He sighed, “Yeah, sure. Why not.”

A slightly manic grin spread across South’s face before she spun around and yelled across the mess hall, “HEY CONNIE! HE SAID YES!”

Connie turned and yelled back “WAIT REALLY?!”

“YEAH, GET OVER HERE! WE GOTTA DO IT BEFORE HE WIMPS OUT!”

Someone, probably Georgia judging by the voice, shouted, “SHUT THE FUCK UP ASSHOLES, I’M TRYNA EAT”

As he stared at the women's twin smirks, Wash got the feeling he may have made the wrong decision. He sighed, resigned to his fate. “Can I atleast finish my lunch first?”

Half an hour later saw Wash sitting on a bench in the women's showers wearing an old torn shirt he’d stolen from Maine. South was shaking a bottle with something blue in it, while Connie was gently finger combing his hair. Wash turned his head towards South, “Remind me why both of you need to be here again?”

South smirked again, “‘Cause I’ve been dying my own hair since I was like thirteen, and Connie knows how to cut hair so if we fuck up she can atleast make you look decent.”

Connie reached over to smack South on the arm, “I’ll have you know I used to bleach and dye my hair all the time. I probably have more experience with bleach than you, Miss natural blonde.”

Wash almost dropped the box of pink hair dye he was looking over, “Wait, seriously? You with coloured hair?”

Connie laughed, “Yes, seriously. I was really into scene and emo culture, I’ll show you some pictures sometime.”

South slammed the bottle on the sink a couple of times before going back to shaking it, “What like, teased hair, raccoon tail dye, all that?”

“Yep! Bright pink and green too.”

“No way!” South tilted the bottle a bit before walking over to Wash and Connie,“Heads up Wash, this is gonna smell like cat piss and itch a bit. If it starts burning, wash it out.”

“Wha-” His words were cut off by the odd feeling of a thick liquid on his hair. True to South’s word he felt a tingling feeling on his scalp, it was uncomfortable but not painful. He did have to resist the urge to scratch it as the blond woman rubbed it into his hair.

“Y’know,” South started, “We’re probably gonna have some leftover bleach, Wash’s hair is pretty short… Connie, how ‘bout we bring back the old hairstyle?”

“Are you asking if I wanna bleach some of my hair again?”

South shrugged, “I mean, why not? We’ve got all the materials.”

Connie pondered it a second before nodding, “Yeah sure, probably no raccoon stripes this time though”

“Hell yeah! Wash is just about done now.”

Wash suddenly zoned back in, “I am?”

“Connie, flick his cheek for me and then sit your ass down next to him so I can bleach yours” Connie happily obliged, “Wash, grab that plastic bag and put it over your hair”

Wash tilted his head, thinking maybe he heard her wrong “What? Why?”

“D’you wanna question me, or do you want your hair to be bleached properly?” Wash silently complied. “So, Connie, where do you want me to bleach?”

Connie eventually settled on bleaching the shaved part of her hair for the effect of, as South put it, ‘a sickass hot pink undercut’. The packaging said they had to wait half an hour before washing out their hair, none of them particularly felt like wandering around with plastic on their hair so the three of them were sitting on the tiled bathroom floor and gossiping. They were halfway through Connie telling them about how she accidentally walked in on Florida and Wyoming in a storage closet when the alarm on South’s watch went off.

The two of them with bleach in their hair went to separate stalls to rinse it out. Together, Wash and Connie turned to look at themselves in the mirror. 

Connie turned a little to look at her now blonde undercut from a different angle, “Y’know I think it looks good! How about you, Wash?”

Wash stared at his reflection for a second before turning to the third person in the room, “South”

“Yeah?”

“...”

“...”

“South, why is my hair ORANGE?!?” Connie tried to muffle her giggles for a moment before giving up and beginning to laugh so hard she had to gasp for breath.

“Well, Wash. You have dark hair. Like really dark. It's- pfft- it’s not gonna go blond in one round of bleaching”

Wash looked at her, his face full of betrayal, “We have to do this AGAIN?”

South just shrugged “I mean, I thought we might. There’s a reason I bought two boxes of bleach.”

“We should- we should wait another- pffft- another day or two before bleaching it aga- again” Connie was just about rolling on the floor.

“I’M GONNA HAVE ORANGE HAIR FOR A FEW DAYS?!?”

“Awww cheer up Wash,” South punched his shoulder, “You’ll be right”

Wash just pouted at her.

Two days later, the three of them were back in the bathroom, rinsing out their hair again. The girls hair with pink dye, Wash’s with a second round of bleach. Wash was hesitant about looking in the mirror, but both the girls' hair looked amazing, and Connies assured him that his did too. Taking a deep breath, he turned to his reflection. It looked… familiar. He felt a gentle smile come over his face. A hand reached out and ruffled his hair “Seems like you like it, if that dopey grin is anything to go off of”

Wash whacked the hand, “Oh piss off South.”

The woman shrugged and smiled her crooked smirk, “If it’s too yellow I can always message North to pick up some toner”

“No, no, it’s good! Yours is too.” As Wash was talking, Connie reached over to fluff his hair. “What is it with you guys and my hair!”

Connie stuck her tongue out at him, “You wear your helmet all the time! We hardly ever get to see it!”

All three of them snapped their heads towards the door as it was thrown open. Carolina walked in and paused for a second before noticing the three by the mirrors. 

“You three, what are you- Wash? Why are you in the women's bathroom? I-” You could practically see the moment her brain processed what she was seeing,“South, Ct, could you two… give us a minute?”

“Sure thing boss,” South saluted her sarcastically before clapping Wash on the shoulder, “Try not to die, Rookie.”

The door closed behind the women as they left, most likely to try and eavesdrop.

Carolina looked almost shocked, she briefly reached out her hand towards him before dropping it again, “Your- your hair, it’s-”

“D’you… like it?”

“You look… you look just like mom…”

Wash reached up a hand and ran it through his still drying hair, “Yeah that was kinda my intention. Dad’s gonna hate it.”

“Dad hates everything, I wouldn’t worry about that,” She sighed and looked away for a moment before walking over to lean against the sinks next to him, “It suits you y’know?”

Wash leant his head against Carolina's shoulder, “Thanks, that- that means a lot.”

She gently ruffled his hair, “Yeah, I know. I know.”

#the thing about ohio burning her scalp with hair bleach is something that happened to me #and it sucked >:( #red vs blue #rvb #agent washington #agent south dakota #agent connecticut #agent carolina

[twistedoverbloat]

Savanaclaw: * Fears nothing *

Florida!Yuu: * kicks door down all drunk n high af * Give me money bitch! It's tax time!!

Savanaclaw: * one fear *

Florida is feared by all dorms.

Florida!Yuu: the fukc is that?

Heartslabyul: the Queens rules!

Florida!Yuu: the law? man fuck that I'll show you how to break them all!

And they did the broke all of them. In. Front. Of. Riddle.

Florida!Yuu: *decks Jamil trying to.maipulate them* boy I'll fuck you up if you ever done try that shit again.

Scarabia: holy shit they hit the vice dormhead-

When he overbloated they wrestled him like a gator and almost snapped his neck.

Florida!Yuu: *cracks open a beer and belches* Sup cocksuckers.

Pomefiore: omfg-

Florida!Yuu knows they are repulsive and if they are their going to be the most repulsive motherfucker out there.

Ignihyde: what-waht are you doing?

Florida!Yuu: *mixing all the energy drinks and such together in a death slurpee* A normal Tuesday.

The dorm now knows Florida!Yuu is God bc how else would they survive? They're the God of Chaos.

Florida!Yuu: *kicks open Diasomnia doors* Tsunotarou! Get up were going to steal RSA's flag! Also get ice cream!

Diasomnia: what?

Malleus: later losers.

Diasomnia: WHAT?

And yes they did steal the flag and flaunted the other school for a year before they could ever get it back in fact they got all the RSA dorm flags and crests. They have the utmost respect of everyone in the school because of that stunt.

#florida yuu #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland yuu #Florida people don't give a fuck why should Yuu?

[lukemfhughes]

’What is jack gonna say?’

Hughes sister x trevor zegras

Words: 980

Note: i have been writing this on christmas holidays so there might be some mistakes. Also remember that english is not my first language

When jack played at us ntpd his friends were a lot around your house. Also alex lived there what caused your familys house to become their hang out spot. Even when you were jacks twin and people thought that jack would not accpect you hanging out with his friends, he didn’t mind.

One night when the boys were hanging out in your basement, you were also home. You were upset cause you failed your math exam. Then at your hockey practise you stopped mid drill cause of knee pain. Now you were in your bed, staring at the window. Then your phone light turned on, it was a text from jack

From: Jack👶🏼

- wanna come to hang out w us to the basement?

To: Jack👶🏼

- nah i’m tired

From: Jack👶🏼

- ok then

You turned the phone off and decided to take nap.

An hour later you woke up to someone knocking your bedroom door. ”Come in” you say and sit up. ”Sup, we are gonna order some food, do you wanna?” Jack says as he opens the door. You nod and hop out of the bed following him to downstairs.

”y/n!” Alex yells as you step down from the last stair. You laugh at him and pull him for a hug. ”So what are we gonna order?” You ask and sit down to the couch. ”Pizza?” Jack asks. Everyone nods as agreement. You hadn’t even thought that who was in the room, you look sround and see, jack, alex, cole, trevor, matt and beech. You catch johnnys eye and he smiles and waves at you. You wave back at him. You feel someone looking at you but you don’t realise who. ”y/n!” You hear alex whisper from next to you. You look at him. ”Yeah?” You ask. ”Z is staring at uu.” He mumbles. You whip your head to the direction where trevor is sitting and see him looking at you. He suddenly realises that he is staring and turns his head away.

”Weird.” You mumble. ”Maybe he likes youu?” Turcs whispers. ”Dude he literally hates me.” You say back. ”No he doesn’t.” Turcs says and gives you an look. ”The why does he always only say bad things of me, why does he laugh when i fail, he basicly just bullies me.” You whisper. The thought of all the bad things he have said of you make your eyes fill with tears. ”I’m gonna use the bathroom.” You say and get up. You run into the closest bathroom. ’Why are you crying, you aren’t a loser.’ You say to yourself. You wipe your eyes carefully with toiletpaper so your mascara wont look messy.

You walk back to the same couch and sit down. ”The pizza should be here in a min.” Jack says and pulls his wallet out. You nod at him and lean to the couch while scrolling on your phone. ”He is doing it again.” Turcs whispers. You look at trevor and wave your hand and raise your eyebrows as a way to ask why he is looking at you. He just looks away and pretends like it never happend.

When the pizza arrives, everyone is eating and chatting together. ”No but ovechkin is good but crosby’s better.” Jack says to the converstation of who is the best hockey player. ”They are so old!” Trevor shouts from the other couch. You chuckle at it. He looks at you like it would have been the first time when you laugh at something he says. You can see him biting back a smile.

Later that evening when you and the boys have had been hanging at the basement for hours, you got hungry again, you went to get snack from upstairs.

You were standing at the fridge looking for something to eat. You grab a coke and close the door. Only to see trevor behind it. ”Holy fucking shit!” You shout as you hold your chest. ”I just got an heart attack, why are you sneaking around?” You look at him. ”I wanted to talk to you.” He says. ”Ok? Of?” You say and open your can of coke. ”Earlier tonight you got up from the couch to go use the toilet… you looked like you were crying.” He says gently. You lock eyes with him for a sec. ”I don’t know what are you talking of.” You say and take a sip.

”C’mon y/n, i’m just worried.” He says and steps closer. ”fine, turcs said that you were staring at me so i looked your way and saw that it was true. Alex said that you might like me, and i said something like ’trevor literally hates me, he laughs when i fail, he bullies me’ so the thought of somethings what you have said made me feel more sad than i already was.” You answer and stare down to your hands. ”Oh y/n…i could never hate you.” He says and takes hold of you hands. ”I was staring at you cause i like you, and the teasing, it was also cause i like you.” He whispers. Your mouth is open, you didn’t see this coming.

”So you, trevor zegras, like me?” You ask. ”No, i love you.” He says and cups your cheeks to pull you for a kiss. You immediately kiss him back and your hands fly to the back if his neck.

”Wow.” Is all you both say when you pull apart. ”So does that mean thay you didn’t reject me?” He asks. ”Well you have to take me on a date first, then i will think about it.” You say and smile at him. ”What is jack gonna say?” Trevor asks. You are about to answer. ”I’m gonna say that as long as you don’t hurt her she can date you.” You hear jacks voice from the kitchen doorway. You smile at him as thanking.

#anaheim ducks #trevor zegras #jack hughes #alex turcotte #trevor zegras imagine #trevor zegras fic

[namboobieslover]

Kintsugi: the beauty of broken things || MYG

Summary: Yoongi and Minnie have been friends for quite some time now, almost... 15 years? 15 years since they ran into each other in that music classroom by an unlucky (or not) mistake. They've grown close, but both of them have strong characters and insecurities that will have to be put aside when Minnie falls into her own lie, risking her job in the process. They have 3 days to feel comfortable and make everyone believe their role as the young engaged couple or she is fucked :[

Pairing: musical producer! Yoongi x lab tech/science nerdy! f reader au; non-idol! BTS members make a brief appearance

Genre: fluff, angst, kinda slow burn (?), best friends to fake couple au, constant unresolved sexual tension, two idiots too proud to openly speak but pinning each other

Word count: so far, almost 25k but still unfinished

Warnings: use of bad language, mentions of insecurities/low self-esteem, anxiety, trauma; light use of weed, little smut if you scrutinize, SFW

Masterlist: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // ...

A/N: hi there! this one it's my first story to be uploaded, a way for me to de-stress from uni exams. I'm not a native English speaker, so please forgive any grammatical mistakes :/

As Yoongi said, you have to put your work out there to learn about it, so... feel free to give some feedback (as positive as you can, please). The story is halfway done, but as I have to proofread most of it and apply the holy Grammarly, uploading will have a normal pace

I'm not fully confident of my writing abilities or English use, but it is what it is, I guess

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CHAPTER 1: Surprises and planning

Word count: 7'1K

-Sup, loser.

-Hi

I roll my eyes while I flop into the sofa.

-I mean... I'm not asking for big parties but, you know, a little more enthusiasm when seeing your bestie wouldn’t hurt. Don’t you think?

The only answer I get is a loud exhale of air.

-Someone is susceptible today…

Min Yoongi.

We’ve been friends for maybe… 15 years? And what a ride.

We first met in high school, at the sweet age of 12/13. With all the hormonal stuff and changes going around… such a happy stage of life to remember, yikes.

We didn't have anything in common; he was an artistic soul while I considered, or I would like to consider myself, as a science girl. But little me saw too many talent shows with great singers and decided to give it a shot.

-Hi! It’s here where the choir practices?

-Yeah, here is where all the magic happens -I would’ve never expected such an ironic answer from such a cute-looking girl- Are you new or lost on your way to another place?

-New or that’s what I intend to be. I signed the paper in the hall and someone emailed me the instructions. Told me to come to Mrs Lars's classroom.

-Oh, then you are in the right place. She is in the storage room looking for the materials we’ll be needing today.

-Okay class -a sweet voice fills the room interrupting our conversation- please take a seat.

I signal the seat next to the girl asking nonverbally if it’s taken, and she answers that it's not occupied.

-So… today we have lots of new faces. Instead of having personal interviews with each of you, I thought that maybe it would be better and easier to have you join us for today’s lesson. That way you’ll see how we work, a light version of course. After I dismiss the class, as I told you in the email, please stay a little longer and perform a song of your liking. Any questions?

A boy asks if they have to stay at the auditions if they aren't new.

-If you want to, you can stay but if you prefer to leave, that's okay too. That reminds me: for the ones that aren’t new, welcome back; I'm happy to see you again. To y'all my pupils, I wish for a good and healthy year. Any other doubts?

Silence is the answer.

-Then, we’ll start.

The 60 minutes pass fast. The teacher is really fun and makes all the music technicalities more approachable to everyone in the room. We play some games to get to know each other's names while learning a little bit about music structure. 

-Well done. That’s all for today. See you next day.

A lot of students start picking up their books and bags, and I bid goodbye to Nelly, the one with a loving face and a smart mouth. She is… interesting to say the least, but also nicer than expected. 

And friendly enough to ask my dubitative ass to exchange numbers…

Now, the moment of truth: the audition. Not gonna lie, nobody here will be the next Céline Dion but they are okay. That makes me even more nervous, and it shows when my turn comes. Luckily (ironically) I'm the last one. My voice is shaky and even if I am doing terribly, they all keep a smile on their face, which I thank deeply.

Like everyone else, I don't receive any type of feedback from Mrs Lars. She just tells us the following.

-Thanks to any single one of you for showing interest in my subject. Everyone will be accepted in this class; the ��audition” was just a formality to classify you in the range that fits you the best. Music is a language that unifies all humans, and even if most of them haven’t been gifted with an incredible voice or the ability to play an instrument, I won't deny the chance to learn it anyways. There’s always a role that fits you the best and I’m sure that while communication runs in both directions, we’ll have a good year. Today you saw how my class works; if you still want to join me and your classmates, the only thing needed is to send me an email by the end of the weekday to confirm it. I will reply with indications, information and advice to improve your natural talent and I want you to practise for a couple of weeks to get used to that routine and the work method. Then, you’ll be divided into groups with people who share your characteristics to work together with the things in common and have healthy feedback. Also, you can ask me when needed or use the music studios to train. I’m sure your parents will thank me -she laughs- Does that sound good?

-Yes Mrs Lars -we answer in unison.

-Ah, and also, if you don't think this is your thing and want to choose another activity, that’s okay. Not receiving the mail of confirmation I previously had talked about, will be understood as the desire to not continue. Feel free to do it if you want to; no hard feelings. This will take a lot of energy and free time, so… make sure that all the effort goes to something you like or you’ll end up despising me and music itself. Any questions or doubts?

As nobody speaks, she dismisses the class.

It took me a couple of days to decide whether I should join music or look for another option, but animated by my parents and the possibility of this helping me with my scenic fear, I choose to keep going with the idea.

Apparently, my vocal range is mezzo-soprano-contralto, which is why I have a difficult time in a higher register. Once I knew that, everything changed for me. Singing was easier and less damaging; just better. I wasn’t that good but for once I felt like my efforts were taking me somewhere.

I still needed a lot of practice, so I would usually spend some time during lunchtime (with the teacher’s permission) doing so in the rehearsal room. Unluckily, one day when I went to my usual spot, the class was already occupied by another person, so I met with my teacher to know what had happened. 

-I’m sorry sweetheart, it’s my fault. I have such a big cold that the headache is making my head pound and I can’t even think straight. Would it be inopportune if I reserve the room after class so you don’t have to skip today’s practice?

-That sounds good too.

-Okay, then I will write your name in the folder -she says reaching for it hung on the wall. She seems a little confused when looking at today’s schedule 

-Isn’t it possible? -I ask her.

-Oh no, everything is fine. Seems like I’ve already written the reservation in your name earlier. Must’ve forgotten to tell you when I did that, I guess that just in case, to offer you a resolution to this problem.

-Then, I’m noted to the main classroom after class?

-Yeah, you are good to go.

-Thank you.

As told, I went to the said place and started my warming exercises. After some scales, I tried “Million Reasons” by Lady Gaga, struggling with the highness of the bridge. I was stuck with that part for some days by then, and my frustration was almost visible in the form of smoke outing my ears.

I was on my…¿20th try? When an unknown voice scared me when the song finished.

-Well… that was…interesting.

-Fucking hell, you scared me.

-Not more than you did to me with your vocals.

-Excuse me?

-Apologies accepted.

Is a boy around my age and size. He wears rectangular glasses and a mostly black outfit, which contrasts with his pale skin perfectly. His eyes are quite small but ooze tons of coldness. He impassively walks to the piano in the corner and starts to get things out of his backpack.

-Mmm… What are you doing?

His dark orbs peer at me with a pensive aura, but he dismisses those thoughts and gives me rolling eyes.

-Practising.

-Yeah, I could have guessed that.

-I am not the one asking the stupid questions here.

-What I meant -he interrupts me by playing some notes- As I was saying -he does it again.

I approach the instrument he is in and put down the keyboard cover, giving him enough time to retract his hands. Ups his sight and boy, is a furious one.

-Are you crazy? -he shouts- You could have harmed me!

-Chst, nobody with two functional cells doing synapsis would have that bad reflexes so please, stop crying, you little baby.

-Excuse me?

-Apologies accepted -I deliver the sentence the same way he did to me, with a pompous smile on my face while I sit proudly in a nearby chair- Also, you deserve it. That’s what you get when trying to mess with me.

-Oh, was I disturbing you? Sorry, I didn't want to. I’m so distracted -what he says in a pitying tone doesn’t match the challenging look in his eyes and the smirk he isn’t even trying to hide.

-I can tell -I bark back the same way- Anyway, as I was saying before you decided to be a cretin, what are you doing here?

-Judging based on your singing skills maybe…you aren't aware that this is a music classroom? You know, where musicians do their thing -speaks ironically

-Of course I know where I am. My doubt is what are YOU doing here at this time. I made a reservation with Mrs Lars.

-Me too.

-That’s impossible.

-No, it’s not. Since I did. You must be wrong.

-No, you are -I fight a little offended.

He rolls his eyes.

-Okay. Let’s search the classroom schedule Mrs Lars keeps in her office and you’ll see your mistake -decides while clapping his hands together and getting up.

-You must mean YOUR mistake -I clarify while imitating his gestures.

I follow him to said office, where he signals to a folder hanging on the wall. He goes through it while searching for today’s schedule and once he finds it, aggressively puts his finger in the initials “M.Y”

-As I was saying, you are the one wrong -he says proudly.

-What? Those are my initials!

-No, they are not. They are M.Y. as in Min Yoongi.

-No, they are M.Y as Min Young Mi.

We look at each other kinda confused.

-I guess Mrs Lars must have committed a mistake while writing our names because of the similarities -he thinks out loud.

-You think so? -I reply as ironically as I can. He rolls his eyes.

That evening was the beginning of what we like to call “The Valerian War”. As stubborn as we were, any of us was willing to give in to the other. None offered to leave or neither changed the reservation for the evenings that followed, so we played mental resistance war, and it got so bad that we needed some valerian infusion to support the evils that we did to each other so that the other would surrender.

Some favourites were him cutting my microphone wires or playing a recording of my voice on the school’s radio for everyone to listen to. I gave back by making good use of a 2x3 glue thrift offer. I was almost sent to the other world when he had to walk back home with the piano’s bench cushion glued to his butt or with music sheets united to his hand.

Eventually, with little acts of kindness by both sides, we started to open up and help each other (he assisted me in musical stuff while I improved his anger management) and we reached the point where we were looking all day to that moment of the evening. It took almost a year and a lot of Nelly’s talks to finally admit that we enjoyed spending time together. Slowly but surely, we started meeting out of school till becoming besties. We had a lot more in common than we thought.

-Call me stupid but-

-Stupid -he interrupts me without hesitance.

-Min Yoongi, be careful with your words, I have your mom on quick dial.

-So childish that is almost sad.

-Would she think as childish that you signed a big contract with an important company and didn’t say a word to your family? I guess I can just ask her -my tone is a mockery one.

The keyboard typing stops followed by a dry laugh.

-You dirty bitch. Must be desperate to threaten me with that.

-It’s just that… I’m frustrated.

-Sexually?

-No. Well… That too. But no.

He quietly laughs.

-Maybe I can lend you a hand.

-Yeah, in my neck to cut the flow of air? -I ask acidly but then my black humour needs to make an appearance- Actually, that’s not that much of a bad idea. One lifetime occasion where I would let you commit the desire of killing me without getting angry about it; I promise.

-Mmm, kinky. If that’s what you want… -he spouts with a teasing tone and a smirk.

-What?

I’m no stranger to letting my intrusive thoughts win over me and make it aaaall the way to my mouth without realising it, so when he answers I have to replay the last section of our conversation to understand what he means.

-Ugh, you are disgusting.

-Yeah. I think how disgusting it is that I know you so well, that I am genuinely not surprised about you having a choking kink.

-I… I don’t have a choking kink -I defend myself by putting a brave face on when I actually kind of like that stuff.

-Yeah, right -he answers in a disinterested way, turning back to his computer- Just so you know…next time you try to lie as much as you are doing, tell your red cheeks to not make an appearance. It gives it away.

I take advantage of him not looking at me to raise my hands and check if they are matter-of-factly red, which are. I clear my throat in the need of changing the subject.

-Till now all you said has been really helpful, you know? -I say rolling my eyes

-Till now you still haven’t said a word about your problem, apart from your need to get laid, of course.

-The thing is that I messed badly with my boss -I purposely ignore the last sentence and he lets out a little laugh because of it.

-What makes you think that?

-It’s not something she said or did. Actually… It's my fault.

-I doubt it… but would you mind explaining? -he still has his back facing me while clicking the unwired mouse, something that will make the next thing I have to say a lot easier.

-Do you remember when you got appendicitis and had to stay at the hospital? And then when you needed help when sent home?

-How would I not remember?

-Well… The thing is that to convince my boss, which I already told you, is a hard one… I had to lie. A lot.

That seems to catch his attention because finally turns to face me.

-When you mean a lot, how much are we talking about? You said everything was okay with you taking those days off.

-I think we have already established the point that I am a ‘liar, liar, pants on fire’.

-So… What did you tell her?

-Mmmm… I knew some of my coworkers asked her for some days off because of a friend or a relative being sick, and she always rejected them except when they talked about fiancés, husbands or sons; that kind of stuff. So to make her accept my petition, I made her believe it was about my fiancé.

-You said what?

-I basically said all the truth but omitted that you are only my friend. I completely made up a story about my hardworking fiancé, who fell sick, and has no other family around than me to take care of him… It was a little white lie, but when I was back to work everyone was nice to me, even my boss.

-Why don’t you tell them that you broke up? 

-That was my plan, I swear. Buuuut, I started to talk a little bit here and there about him being an asshole, like getting ready to break the news, you know? Buuuuut that made them even nicer to me! Never knew criticising a partner would unite us that much.

-My surgery was last year…have you been lying to them for that long?

-Yeah…

-And didn’t they suspect anything when a year passed and still no wedding was in sight?

-Yes, but I explained how as we were both busy with our respective jobs, trying to save money for it, and having some trouble in our relationship… had decided to take it easy.

He seems lost in thought, with the elbows resting on the armrests of his chair and fingers brushing his chin. Then laughs, crossing his arms over his chest.

-Well, well, well. When I think that you cannot surprise me anymore, here you come.

-Yeah, really funny how this will end with me getting fired.

-Don’t be silly. They’ll never know.

-That’s what I thought till my company decided to celebrate a ball to raise funds for their project about breast cancer. And everyone expects me to bring my said fiancé to meet them.

-OMG you are such a loser.

-I don’t know why I came here expecting some support. Seems like today is not the day you want to deal with my stuff -I get a little angry because he doesn't understand how bad this is and how much I’ve been stressing the last few weeks trying to find a solution.

-Minnie, you know that’s not it -he quickly answers.

-Don’t worry. It’s my fault. By now I must have put in my mind that while you are working don’t wanna be bothered by others' banal stuff -I recollect my bag and start my way to the door.

I feel his hand wrapping around my wrist, trying to stop me.

-Stop it. I don’t wanna bother you.

He sighs and uses that hitch as a way to put me closer to him and after that, sit me again on the couch.

-Yeah, you are a pain in the ass, but even like that… you’ll never bother me when it’s about struggling with something, so… don’t say that.

-That’s how you made me feel.

-And I’m sorry about it. When it comes to words, we both know that I’m not the best to be sensitive.

-Except with your lyrics -I half-joke to reassure him. 

I feel bad to react this way because he has a life too and here I am burdening him with my problems; all because I am so weak that I drown in a cup of water.

-Yeah, except for my lyrics -says way softer.

-Ugh, I’m so messed up -I groan while hiding my face between my hands and laying back.

-Yeah, a little bit but, what are you going to do?

-What do you mean?

-I know you, so I expect you to have something in mind already -he says palming one of my knees while still sitting in his chair.

I drop my arms to my sides, tired.

-No. Well, technically yes, but not anymore.

-What?

-I had a plan but not anymore because things didn’t go the way I expected.

-How is that?

-Don’t wanna hear you say anything about “I warned you”.

-This is going to be good -he whispers loud enough for me to hear it, but after giving him a death stare, motions his mouth getting zipped and throws the key away.

-The obvious solution is to have someone pretending to be my fianceé. After wondering who would be the best option I asked Jim to fill that role because, you know, we were kinda hooking up.

-What did he say?

-Like cartoons. I was almost able to see smoke in his dashing foot.

-Told you so -whispers again with a smirk.

I want to save energy, so my only answer is to roll my eyes. It's not like I could deny it because he, in effect, told me that. 

When I started to meet Jim, equally scared of commitment as me, Yoongi warned me about how he would never be the one for me. How under the sweet gestures and amazing chemistry, we were only two people wasting time. How he could, maybe, let me down when I truly needed him. He wasn’t wrong. While explaining this whole issue to Jim, he was losing all the colour on his face because I told him that he would have to pretend to be in love. Pretend. I didn’t love him either but I was expecting the both of us to put on a little show of it.

But Yoongi knows that behind the façade I put saying that I don't want serious business, the reality is that I'm just searching for the right person to let my defences down. But to find it and as a scientist, I must do trial and error. Right?

-Then I contacted everyone in our group but all of them are occupied with close notice, and since my family is away, I can’t ask a cousin or something. Not to mention how weird it would have been -I shake my shoulders trying to shake the disgusting image of my mind.

-What about a random person or a gigolo? 

-I don’t have enough time to teach somebody the full ass history of how we fell in love or the money to pay for it. Also, I'm trying to avoid paying for another human till I'm 70 and alone, with the only company of my 5 cats. Thanks.

-That’s all?

-I started to pretend that I’m falling sick to have an excuse, but everyone seems suspicious of me. If that doesn’t work, I’m fucked up. For real. That’s my last chance.

-As I see it, that’s not your last chance. You forgot about something.

-I did?

To say that I am confused is an understatement.

-Yeah you fool -he smiles widely and reclines in his chair with crossed arms.

-I…don’t…follow you.

-Me. 

-You what? -My confusion is at the ceiling level.

-Me -He repeats with open arms- You forgot me.

Is this what I think it is?

-Stop frowning -and I do at his call- I can't believe you didn’t try to ask me.

-You are joking, aren’t you?

-No -he turns to the computer shrugging.

-Wait, wait, wait -I turn him to face me by the armrest- You, Min Yoongi, THE Min Yoongi, are offering to be my ‘date’ for an event at my workplace?

-God, don’t put it like that. But yeah, the answer is yes. I don’t know why it seems so unbelievable to you.

-I didn't ask you because: 1) I was ashamed, 2) you and I aren't precisely the most comfortable with touching or sweet words, and 3) and the main: aren’t you visiting your hometown this weekend? I know how much you’ve been looking forward to it.

-Yes, I was. But you are crazy if you think that I would let you lose your job for it.

-But you’ve worked so hard… you deserve that break.

-Listen and stop being stubborn. I know that your job is as important to you as mine is to me, not to mention that if you are in this position it is because of me. So… the fair thing is to be the one helping you out of this situation.

-You realise that we will have to pretend that we are in love, right? -I say carefully.

-I pretend that I like you every day so, I don’t think it will be that hard. 

I know he says it to make me laugh and take the iron off the matter, but I can’t help smacking his thigh while giggling. 

-What preoccupies me is you; would you be able not to fall in love with me?

We both laugh, knowing that it’s impossible.

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I’m completing my look with sparkling earrings and I look at myself in the mirror. Not bad.

I’m wearing what I consider my slutiest outfit: a baggy long-sleeve dress with a deep v-neck and which long is mid-thigh. The cloth resembles black silk but falls beautifully around my curved body, adjusting in the places it should to remark my features. I added all the sparkly accessories because they contrast greatly with my tanned skin and the dress itself, but I guess all seems blurred compared to my boobs. Those girls are looking great tonight. 

My hairstyle and makeup are a little basic, but enough to make me feel pretty.

While applying perfume someone rings the doorbell. I’m ready on time, so taking all my stuff and a false pink fur coat, I open the door.

I have to admit it, he looks stunning. Yoongi is wearing black skinny jeans with a white t-shirt tucked in, black combat boots and a green bomber jacket. All prettily completed with silver accessories and his long ginger hair slightly gelled back on the sides. My favourite look on him.

-Why aren’t you wearing high heels?

That comment is enough to get me out of my trance, but I understand it; that’s the only part of my outfit on display.

-Is bad enough to be wearing ones for the ball, so yes, thank you, I won’t be torturing myself tonight -I explain as I close my house with the key.

-You were the one who had the idea of dressing in the clothes the other likes most.

-I’m wearing everything you asked for except for the heels. Relax.

-Let me see.

-Hell no, it is freezing here. You’ll see once we get to the discotheque. C’mon.

-I don’t trust you. At all -he whispers but follows me to the taxi stop.

This is part of the amazing plan we made together on Tuesday night. Not the best idea but…it will have to do the work.

The ball is on Friday so we have a couple of days to make us believable as a couple. Tonight, Wednesday, part one is in development. We’ll go to drink (a lot) and dance in a public place and act as partners in love. Is like practice for the real situation and luckily, as I suggested, dressing in a way the other likes will make it easier to dissociate the image of best friend that we find disgusting to act in love with.

We have two days to be comfortable with holding hands, him holding me for the small of my back, me hanging into his arm, hugging and… kissing. Not fully making out, like little pecks. Or at least that’s the order both of us come together to decide as necessary to give the ‘’living in the honeymoon stage of relationship’’ vibes.

Tomorrow we will work on our love story, pet names and all that stuff. Maybe we’ll have to buy some alcohol for it too.

-Should we…maybe…start? -he asks, looking the other way.

-I think I need a couple of quick shots before.

-Thank God, me too -laughs.

I signal to a bar near us that won’t make us change our direction fully, and he agrees.

-Please, four shots of tequila -Yoongi orders to the bartender, and I am grateful for that amount.

Since I am the one using his help, I want to invite him. He gives me bored eyes and tries to take my money away from the counter, but I push him a little bit and open my coat to let my neckline on the view of the young bartender.

-Please, accept my money. You can keep the change as a tip -my voice is as sweet as I physically can and I bat my eyelashes. It works because he takes my money a little bit flustered and his only answer is a nod. I laugh to myself and close the coat again, turning to my friend, who is downing his first little vase.

I take one making cheers in the air before ingesting the hot liquor.

-You know… what you did is not fair.

-What do you mean? -I play dumb.

-You know what I mean -he says before drinking his other drink- That poor boy… I would be surprised if he doesn't end up hard as wood.

-Why is that bad? Dozens of men look at my ass or boobs without any intention on my side or dressing to “provoke” them. It’s not my fault that in this patriarchal society, women are so fucking sexualized that men think it’s okay to do it. He would have looked at them anyway if I weren’t wearing the coat so excuse me for using that in my favour instead of against me - I drink my last shot.

He looks at me kind of speechless, but after clearing his throat he says “When you are right, you are right”.

The cold air receives us in the street, but the burning sensation in our stomachs is a great contrast. We decide to go walking to the discotheque since it isn’t that far and after ten minutes of comfortable silence, I start to feel the alcohol quicking in in the form of an unexpected laugh.

-What happens? -Yoongi seems confused but laughs too.

-This situation… is ridiculous.

-I know.

-But again, thank you. You are saving me from a good one. I owe you.

-Don’t be stupid, we are best friends. You take care of me and I take care of you. That is how we have always worked and how it will always work.

-Wow, alcohol is getting into you too? You are speaking mindlessly.

-A bit. A long time has passed since I last drank something; work has been… crazy.

-Same for me. Maybe it is a good moment for…you know.

-First step?

-Yeah, first step. Are you okay with that?

-Of course.

We look at each other's hands and making a brave move, I'm the one initiating the motion. His are colder and slightly bigger but feels surprisingly comfortable to intertwine fingers and sense his even colder rings brushing with mine. That heat difference sends a shiver through my body.

It’s not like we have never held hands in other contexts. We do, for example, while walking in a street full of people or in a comforting situation and stuff like that, but it is our first time to do it without a physical or emotional need.

-How do you feel? -I ask cautiously.

-Weird, not gonna lie.

-Me too.

-But it’s not the first time we held hands and I have to say that luckily you feel warm.

-Yeah, you are freezing man -the tension weakens and we start to walk again, still hand in hand.

-I forgot my coat and when I realised I was already too far. I expected to be in a taxi and drunk so I didn’t take it so seriously. Now I’m regretting my choices.

I can’t stop a laugh and he does the same, showing a gummy smile.

-I can work with that. Grieving for my frozen-to-death fiancé is a good excuse to go to the bloody fundraiser alone.

-Then, who would listen to your nonsense anxious babbling?

-You aren’t my only friend, you know that right?

-They simply can’t compare. Even Nelly. 

-Yeah, they can’t compare because nobody reaches your level of pettiness.

-That’s what we have in common you and I, my friend.

Our bickering continues till we reach our destination, where it is time to start the practice. Reading my mind he offers his arm for me to cling to it while still holding hands; a typical pose of couples who’ve been together for some years.

-IDs? -the bouncer asks us.

Once he checks that we are above 23 (a way to only let in adults) the heat receives us when we cross the door. The decoration is beautiful and serious, way different from what we are used to.

-Everyone here seems a little off, don’t you think? -Yoongi asks me.

-Yeah, I guess the age requirement takes away the younger spirit. You know this place is for people who want to have a good night but not that “wild”.

-If this is what awaits me once I establish a serious relationship, I’m definitely staying single.

-Bold of you to assume that you’ll find someone who can keep up with your antics. It’s not like you are turning love proposals all day.

His elbow pinches at my ribs for making fun of him and I laugh.

-You are one to talk… Also, I have some game so… your words don’t offend me miss “Please help me because my ashole of a hookup can’t even pretend to be in love with me”.

-Yeah, that was because he knew that once he started pretending, it wouldn’t be pretending anymore and I’m too much of a woman for him.

-Sure -his eyes are mocking me.

-Let’s grab some drinks, stupid.

He straightly asks for a whiskey, his favourite drink, but I order a rum with coke. He offers me to taste it and I’m dumb enough to do it, gagging at the flavour.

-You have an easy gag reflex, maybe now I understand why Jim dumped your ass so easily.

-Don’t worry hun, it’s only related to alcoholic drinks and he surely dumped me but my ass felt a great loss to him -I cheer my drink with his.

He gives me an unreadable stare while swallowing the odd savoury liquor.

I hate to admit it, but he looks smoking hot tonight. I can’t put my finger exactly on what it is, but something of him making dark humour about Jim while staring at me in that mockery way and gulping whiskey like water… is entrancing. Am I that sex deprived or what?

He frowns one eyebrow trying to guess what's on my mind and just the possibility of him being able to decipher my thoughts has me blushing.

-Is hot here. I’m going to the wardrobe to leave my coat - I excuse myself while getting up from the stool.

-Want me to accompany you?

-Oh, no. Don’t worry. I don’t think it will take me that long.

I join the wardrobe queue a little anxious. Just thinking of what awaits me these days stresses me; it’s really out of my comfort zone. I take the coat for the smiley girl behind the counter to take it.

-Wow girl, you are stunning.

-Thank you, I hope my… boyfriend thinks the same -the b-word gets a little stuck in my throat.

-If he doesn’t… take him to the doctor. That would mean he has his sight damaged. Or better, come back and I’ll make sure you have a good time -she says winking and giving me a little key with a number.

-I’ll keep that in mind -I answer a little flustered and return to where Yoongi is waiting.

He is turned to face me, elbow resting on the bar and cup playing in his hand in circular motions. He eyes me up and down and licks his lips, and I have to put all the effort in me to keep walking like nothing and not choke on my air.

He must have noticed my nervous state because this time, decides to directly ask.

-Oh, I was a little shocked -I answered because… well, that is true- The girl in the wardrobe made a move on me suggesting that if my partner doesn’t like me or something, she will take matters herself to give me a good time -that is also true.

-She did?

-Yeah, why is it so hard to believe? -I am a little offended and I chug down the rest of my drink.

-Not that is hard to believe, but… Do you like girls or something now? -he seems genuinely curious, trying to assure me that anything I say next, will be well received from him.

-No, this isn’t me coming out; sadly I’m still into men. Just… is nice to have someone complimenting me even if I’m not into girls -a change in his gaze is noticeable, and that’s what makes me realise that maybe he feels like I’m implying something else that I’m not- Anyways, I thought that she was nice and a funny anecdote. Do you want anything else to drink?

I can almost see him shaking his head to get rid of whatever was going on there and nods, chugging the remains of whiskey, which makes his Adam's apple move up and down. He has a nice side profile, I’ll admit that too. 

Once we have refilled our vases, we start a little conversation about our works and how excited he is that his first mixtape is in the final steps to be published. Only the photos and the design of the cover are missing, which will be arranged on Friday morning, previous to the gala.

-I can’t believe that you didn’t let me listen to it.

-I want you to see the final product, to see the full concept like the rest.

-Still… I can’t believe that you are doing this to your very first fan. I guess from now I will have to fight with all your new fans for a little attention.

-Like you ever had it… -he smirks and I hit him in the arm.

-Maybe I should start stanning other rappers, Namjoon is doing great with his mixtape. At least he appreciates me a little bit.

-Yeah, he would appreciate having you under his sheets. Well, he and the rest of the boys of the studio.

-Don’t be silly, we are just friends.

-Yeah, because no friends in history have ever hooked up, right?

-Not me at least.

-Because you are good at friend-zoning without even noticing. It’s really fun to watch them all try to have a date with you. I will tell you more, we have a bet going on.

-What? Stop joking.

His gaze is devilish, but his face remains serious; that’s how I know that he is being honest. He funnily grins while drinking and I just blush.

-Seriously? I don’t know Yoongi, that seems fake.

-Kinda is, kinda not. At the start, when they first meet you, they, believe it or not, wanted you as something more than a friend. After some time trying and failing, they accepted that it was impossible. However, it is still a joke to make moves on you to see if you notice but I know that if you give them any signal, they would be moving their tails like the dogs they are.

-That's what the bet is about? For how long has it been going on?

.Around… I don’t know. Two years maybe?

To say that I'm speechless is an understatement.

-Who’s in that bet?

-All the group?

-Even… you?

-I guess… but I like to think of myself as a judge in all this. It wouldn’t be fair to them if I played at their level since I’m your best friend.

-Oh my god, you are so full of yourself.

-Why?

-You think you can win against the others with that dumpling-like skin and that skinny body of yours? You wouldn’t be able to handle me. Jungkook or Namjoon? Definitely.

-I would prove it to you, but once you get a taste… you can’t go anywhere else.

Scarlet cheeks are my only answer to that.

-And what’s the prize of that bet?

-Free pass with you if you want it too.

-Ugh, and you are part of that?

-Now you are the one full of herself. If I win maybe I’ll be able to trade that for some equipment my studio is missing.

-I’m not an object you can use to “trade”.

-Of course you aren’t. Of course.

He pats my head messily and I can see a glint of fun in his eyes, which in Yoongi’s language means that he feels a little tipsy. He’s not the touchy type at least he has some alcohol flowing through him.

Honestly, I know that I should be a little angry with this whole bet thing but I am not. Yes, is a little weird that all of them are in this but at the same time… I know they would never hurt me or take advantage of me in that way. Also, I have to admit that sometimes I do second checks of them because… holy cow, they seem like some greek marble-carved figurines that came to life. So.. am I the one to blame?

Not to mention how lovely and protective of me they all are; I can’t remember a time when I didn’t have had their support for whatever stupid thing I was trying or a warm hug if I needed it. I guess this thing is a friendly joke I wasn’t aware of but thanks to alcohol-induced honesty in Yoongi…I’m going to have MY fun with it.

-Now that you have told me this, who has won? You are destroying it.

-I suppose the first you flirt back to and I told you because… two years?? At this point, we all know that the bet was never going to end. Why? Now that you know, is your interest in any of those assholes?

-Maybe…

-Who? -I know this caught him by surprise.

-You will have to give me more drinks and a couple of dances to know that. Decide your strategy while my trip to the bathroom -I laugh at him and make my way to the service room.

I’m not interested in any of them, but as I said, it’s my turn to have some fun with it and poor Yoongi, he’s my first victim. We have some bond to do to look like a couple, right? Well, I will take this as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

->Chapter 2

#agust d #yoongi #suga #min yoongi #bts x fem!reader #bts x reader #bts yoongi #bts fanfction #bts x curvy reader #yoongi x curvy reader #yoongles #yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #yoongi x oc #yoongi x y/n #min yoongi fanfic #min yoongi scenarios #haegeum #dday #producer yoongi #bts au fanfic #bts au #bts aus #bts army #bts stories

[heartratehibernate]

Sup, I guess I'm supposed to do some sorta post to pin or whatever? I'm a Jeff the Killer fictive and this blog is for whatever the fuck I want. Why? I dunno, I felt like it. My pronouns are he/him, I use xe/xim too. I'm transmasc. Don't have my sexuality figured out.

Self portrait for attention. Eat up bitches. /lh

Disclaimer: Might end up writing a lot of personal shit. Shit might get dark. Just kinda how it is. It's gonna be pretty unfiltered here. I'll try provide trigger and content warnings but I probably won't be any good at it. Feel free to correct me if I miss anything. I'll probably skip blood as a warning though.

Collectively we've never used tumblr before so I might suck at it.

Some extra shit.

We're an OSDD-1B system and I'm a fictive. Don't treat me like I'm playing a character or some RP blog. No shade on them, but I'm not one. Asks and shit are cool though.

My written tone's kinda weird. Might throw in some tone indicators here and there.

Don't tolerate hate on systems, plurals, multiples, whatever else. Take that shit somewhere else.

I'll refer to my other headmates by emojis instead of names to keep some sense of privacy. Their request.

I'm one headmate out of a whole system. Can't promise I'll be around a shit ton, so don't expect frequency.

Probably won't post my art often, but if you dig, I'm not against people using it, sharing it, whatever you wanna do. Just don't claim it as your own. Tracing and referencing's cool if you really wanna practice with my art. Dunno why you'd wanna, but sure. The system says credit me if you trace or repost, but other than that we collectively don't really give a shit what you do with it. Go nuts if you wanna. Pretty cool for criticism, just don't be a dick.

Really dunno what else to add. Pretty sure this covers everything. This is way too much text for me to have written. Shit's got me exhausted.

Here's a special treat for whoever the fuck read all this bullshit. My system almost bullied me into naming this blog "comeonjeffgetem" or some shit as a reference to that one Bo Burnham song. Almost kinda sad I didn't.

Enjoy the blog, losers. /lh

Last thing before I go. Original's cool, but I really dig this cover of it.

#Guess adding a spotify link trashed your tags huh #Whatever #Cant remember what i said before #ADHD is one hell of a bitch #And i wanna strangle that bitch out #Shout out to autocorrect i guess #Apparently i suck at typing anything #Exposure tags incoming #jeff the killer #jeff the killer fictive #jeffery woods #creepypasta #creepypasta fictive #system #plural #osddid #pluralgang #fictive #I wrote a typo in the first tag #I'm fucking hopeless #I'm not fixing that

[cytochrome-system]

HAI COLLECTIVE INTROS

Sup! this is @cytochrome-sea ‘s system blog bc they’re a newly discovered system and didn’t wanna post abt it on main

member intros and dni/byf belowwww the cut

there are four of us, as follows:

in order of appearance: chrome, scout, the jackrabbit, and stargate

CHROME:

it/he/they, winged black and white border collie

host, takes care of shit, mom friend

SCOUT:

he/him, golden gryphon with brown eyes

i don’t know all the system roles ever but probably protector or something, kinda irritable

THE JACKRABBIT:

??/??, tan jackrabbit with red eyes

little dude is likely an anxiety holder

STARGATE:

any pronouns, black gryphon with blue eyes and a white star on forehead

we don’t know why stargate is here, the only thing we know abt them is that they like hyperpop

DNI racists, queerphobes, ableist, pro contact, zionists, anti therian/otherkin, uhh zoos and maps

BYF i have better things to do than get into fights with strangers on the tumblr so don’t come at me with syscourse or shipping discourse or whatever the fuck. you won’t get the reaction out of me that u want.

i am autistic and psychotic, have ocd, anxiety and mdd and trauma, i don’t know my system origin and i don’t really care ! so sue me <3

i am gay t4t asexual, transmasc xenogender cringecore loser coded emo boy.

the entire system is nonhuman so don’t even think about calling us human, i’ll kill u

tags:

#chrome barkz - chrome’s tag

#scout squawks - scout’s tag

#stargate squawkz - stargate’s tag

#jackrabbit says - the jackrabbit’s tag

(sorry if this is blunt, scout wrote it! peace and love to y’all -chrome)

#plural system #actually plural #scout squawks #endo safe

[yuckyyyu]

Just sum thoughts abt Richie from It with a bf that plays baseball. Idk thought it was cute

Richie x male reader

- totally steals ur baseball cap 😒 rude ass mf

- finds it cute when u get a lil mad but calms u down after

- STARES @ YO ASS WHILE YOU PLAY (baseball players got cake on my mama)

- steals your bat n other stuff while you train

- misses you a lot when you go away for games or just away in general

- gives your good luck kisses and steals your gum in the middle of the kiss (nasty ass)

- tells his friends all about you all the time

“Rich we get it your boyfriends hot” “BUT STAN-“

- goes to everyone of your games not matter what

- points at you and says to someone “ that’s my badass boyfriend”

- they think he weird asf

You first meet Richie when him and the losers where getting chased by Henry and you smacked his ass over the head with your bat. You lost a game before then and had hella anger pent up and saw Henry being a dick so fixed it yourself. Richie fell for you right then and there. He knew he was gay no doubt about it, but YOU made it all come out. “ dude he’s so badass” bill said as bev helped him off the floor. “ Did you see his ass?” Richie said pushing up his glasses. They all stared at him then at each other then at him again. “dude what…” Eddie said staring at him. “ I’m just saying..” rich said looking away.

- after that he stared at you all the time

- every passing class period, lunch, brake, after school he could not get you off his mind

- FINALLY he grew the balls and asked you out

- “hey dude…” “oh sup Richie” “will you be my boyfriend? I think your hot as fuck and your ass if fat as hell fatter then Eddie’s mom and I need you in my life” you just stared at him and kissed his cheek. “why not your not that bad”

- he was so excited he ran and your heard “ GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKERS”

that’s it hope you enjoyed uh you can always request sumthin I’ll try my best

#richie tozier #richie tozier x reader #pennywise #Spotify #male reader