#❛ EDITS ... › if i’m proud of anything i’ve done this year

[malanor3]

In My Soul

<NSFW>

PLEASE READ FIRST BEFORE CONTINUING

Prompt: Astarion’s heavy gaze is something that throws you into a tail-spin when you catch his feverish glances. On this particular day, he was practically undressing you with his eyes.

Pairing: Fem!Tav x Astarion

Tags: Light angst, smut, intense eye contact, fingering, cunnilingus, basically Astarion is a munch, fluff if you squint really hard

Word Count: 4,833

A/N: i’m sooo sorry this took so long, i was trying so hard to push through and make sure it was perfect but it might be a bit clunky. i write on my phone/ipad and have to edit it in post on tumblr 🫣 but i hope you guys like it i worked really hard. it’s been a few years since i’ve written anything proper but i’m pretty proud of this. it got me all hot and bothered so i must’ve done something right hopefully 😫

Nothing irked you more than when you were in the suffocating heat of battle, and in a fleeting moment catching familiar crimson eyes boring into you through the settling dust.

This was important. Focus was imperative. Yet you couldn’t ignore the rosy heat that crept on your cheeks— the feeling deep in your stomach as if it was doing somersaults. It was silly, really, and that’s why it irritated you so much.

You wanted to confront Astarion— wanted to tell him how distracting he was; how insufferable that simple act made you feel. You knew, however, it would forever be an excuse for him to torment you more. You could practically see him chuckle, pat your head, and then fixate his eyes tauntingly on you. You wanted to tear those beautiful eyes right out of his skull.

You figured you would have a moment of peace when you’d made camp that evening, but that was wishful thinking on your part.

Mending the bright and blazing fire that illuminated your dim surroundings, you couldn’t shake the feeling of eyes being on you. Curiously, your gaze wandered the camp. Shadowheart was snug in her tent just a ways from you. Karlach and Wyll seemed to be in deep conversation, paying you absolutely no mind. Lae’zel had been sound asleep for quite some time, and Gale was just across from you, but he was too busy reading to take notice of your analytical gaze. That only left one person unaccounted for, and your stomach dropped at the realization.

“Something the matter, darling?”

Your perception seemed to fail you as he took you by surprise from behind—your backside bumping into his towering figure as you jumped in shock. Peering over your shoulder with the most annoyed glance you could muster, you’re met with his mischievous glare. The rolling of your eyes indicated to him that what he was doing was working— and he loved to see every muscle in your face twitch at his efforts. You simply returned your focus to the fire.

“Would you believe me if I said no?” you remarked sarcastically as you poked and prodded the dying embers. Your ears perked at the chuckle that rumbled in his chest, but you tried your best to brush off the melodic sound.

“Hardly.”

As expected, you weren’t hiding it as well as you thought. The annoyance—the absolute aggravation that coursed through you. You tried your best to brush it off.

His movement was swift as he sat in the space next to you; pressing his shoulder into your own. The sudden contact made you stop momentarily, but not long enough for him to take notice. At least, you hoped not. You fought every urge to look into those eyes.

“You seem quite tense, darling. Is there anything you need? Anything I can do?” His voice dragged as he ever so slightly leaned into your ear, knowing full well at this point he was flat out taunting you. Your breath hitched slightly when you felt his hand rest on your thigh and gripped just enough that you almost forgot what was wrong, but reality struck when his fingers traced dangerously close to a certain spot, and you could feel the rage boil all over again.

You huffed as you threw the poker down, and Gale seemed to snap out of the fixation with his book at this. He peered over the top edge of the pages, but you were too hot with fury to notice. Maybe I shouldn’t be so nosey, he thought, but I don’t think they notice me anyway. Gale pressed the book desperately into his nose.

You stood and turned to Astarion with a look of defiance etched into your features; pointing a finger so close to his face he almost went cross-eyed.

“You’ve done quite enough for one day.”

He laid a hand on his chest as if taking offense.

“Sweetheart, whatever do you mean? I’ve done absolutely nothing wrong.” He purred, his eyes peering into the very depths of your soul. Seeing him beneath you sent shockwaves through your fingers, and the mention of just that singular word was enough to send you completely over the edge. Sweetheart? Sweetheart?! Who in the Hells does he think he is?!

In that moment, you could feel that consuming feeling take over every connector in your brain, and your stomach churned. You cursed the way your body deceived you before groaning, turning, and stomping off defiantly.

“I need a moment. Alone.” You huffed.

Astarion’s gaze followed your figure all the way to the tent in amusement before you shut the cloth behind you, and after a moment, it was clear you would not be returning. His gaze returned to the fire in front of him. It was only just a bit of fun; he told himself. I could’ve done much, much worse. The poor dear.

“So… do you think she’s gone to occupy herself, Astarion?” Gale’s amused chords rang from behind the pages of his book—himself now sat back comfortably after what he’d just witnessed.

He admitted it was all quite silly, mostly because you’d fought with him a few days previously about your real feelings for the vampire and completely denying them. Gale knew you were just saving face, but it ran much deeper than he’d anticipated. Even if you wouldn’t admit it he knew you liked Astarion. As much as that fact made his brain chemistry practically disintegrate, it was only because Gale had taken interest in you too. You’d made it clear that you just wanted to be friends, and he was respectful of that. Now he was faced with a dilemma; how to get the vampire to treat you the way you deserved. Gale was not convinced thus far that he could trust Astarion, and especially not with their precious leader.

Astarion flashed him a taunting grin.

“Well, if she was, she would have invited me, of course. Tell me, Gale, do you even know where the clitoris is?”

The wizard sat there baffled before collecting his things and beginning to stand. He huffed, much like you had, and scowled in the vampire’s direction.

“I’ll have you know I am well endowed in the pleasure department, thank you very much. Not that it’s any of your business, anyway.” Gale spoke, rolling his eyes. He lingered momentarily as he thought about his next words methodically. He would not risk waking to fangs in his neck, so he let out a tired sigh before parting his lips to speak.

“She’s rather fond of you, Astarion. I just,” his breath caught in his throat, “I just think you should be careful with her. She’s more than just a pretty face. Much more.” The wizard’s hand waved about in the air for emphasis. Astarion examined him carefully in the dim light of the fire and saw the genuine concern that adorned his features, and at this Astarion’s eyes softened slightly.

“If we can agree on anything, Gale, let it be that fact. She’s… definitely something.” His head nodded in earnest. Gale felt his thoughts relax at his words. Though he wasn’t fully confident in Astarion’s motives, at least there could be a start. After all, they shared a damn camp together along with most of their days. He might as well get used to him. With a final passing glance, Gale retreated to his own tent to engage in much needed sleep; leaving Astarion with his own rampant thoughts.

He had to admit that he absolutely adored the way you would get so worked up over his advances. No one had ever tried so hard to reject them— if they even tried at all —and the thought of it made his mind go crazy. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t been thinking of stretching your sweet cunt open; tasting every inch of skin you had to offer, absolutely ravishing you like he’d never had a drop to drink. It kept him up most nights, but it was only because you were playing hard to get. He knew whether or not you wanted to admit it; you needed him, and that thought was enough to solidify you as his prey.

But then there were those innocent glances, or sometimes even the smallest, feather-light touches you’d grant him every so often. Even the sound of your voice he found was a sweet symphony that cradled him in the warmest embrace; a feeling he hadn’t felt in all his 200 years of living-death. To say the feeling alarmed him was an understatement, but he figured it had to be a side-effect of these damn worms. Maybe his brain wasn’t functioning properly. Of course he couldn’t entertain anything real between them—the idea was plain insanity. She only serves one purpose, you fool. Stop playing games. You need her on your side.

As he pondered this, something strange happened. He felt the hairs on his body stand on end, almost as if electricity had coursed through the very make-up of his cold blood. An unfamiliar heat crept over his skin and warmed his cheeks. His ears perked at the sudden noise that erupted from your tent, and it made every cell in his body twitch. It took every ounce of him to stop the movement of his feet from approaching your abode, but the sweetness of that sound could not be ignored. All thoughts had been wiped from his mind as he closed in on the opening while his hand reached out to the cloth. He hesitated for a moment as his ears perked up again becoming aware of a new noise, and he couldn’t help but listen intently.

Tucked inside your tent you felt the heat building in the small space; your ragged breaths muffled by your own hand as your other worked tight circles on your clit. This is ridiculous; you thought. He was practically eye-fucking me. The damned bastard.

The image of his eyes flashed behind yours along with the feeling of his fingers trailing up your thigh; his breath fanning the nape of your neck. It drove you wild. You imagined him positioned between your legs; his tongue lapping at your juices as he fought to keep your legs steady so he could worship your cunt properly. I wonder how his curls would feel between my fingers.

You moaned at the thought, but pressed your hand tighter to your lips to avoid anyone hearing your lewd noises. You could feel your release coming, and with every circle your breaths became quicker and more difficult to conceal. Squeezing your legs tighter to create more friction, you felt the small earthquakes begin to erupt throughout your body, and a white veil shielded the world from your eyes. As you convulsed, you failed to hear the footsteps that approached your tent as your psyche was completely sabotaged with pleasure.

As quickly as you peaked, the electric feeling began to wane as your chest rose and fell in tandem with your animalistic breaths—grounding you back to the dull reality of your tent—while your fingers lingered over the sensitive bundle of nerves that twitched with painful aftershocks. You sucked in a deep breath and held for a few seconds before releasing the weight of your orgasm with it. Something in you felt so guilty and rotten for the act. We’ve never even had a decent conversation and your imagining him waltzing into your tent and absolutely destroying your cervix. Unbelievable.

Your hand slowly moved from your mouth to rest on the apex of your throat as if feeling a lingering hand there; like you were trying to fill an empty space that you hoped eventually would be awarded to someone. Your eyes peered above into the boring and equally uninteresting cloth that made your tent as your brain drifted to the Pale Elf’s captivating stare anew, making you lose your breath all over again. You knew there could be no future there with a happy ending, but would it hurt so bad to just entertain it if even for a moment? What if it could be everything you’d dreamed about, or conversely your worst nightmare? Was it worth the risk? Questions riddled your brain that you were too frightened to answer.

Then your body tensed with a sudden jolt when you’d finally heard it—the dirt just outside your tent crushing under someone’s feet. Before you could even look up from your very obviously lewd position you heard the swish of your tent flap, and your body did something similar to a cat arching it’s back in defense. You thrusted forward to cover what you could of your half-exposed body, and in the anxiety of it all your eyes met with deep carmine irises that were glazed with insatiable hunger. He was already halfway through the opening, but didn’t dare to dip even a shoulder in as his eyes raked over your figure. The scent of your orgasm lingered hot and fresh in the air and it maddened him to no end. Stupid Wizard. Why did he always have to be right? He recalled Gale’s intuition about you “occupying” yourself. Damn bastard.

There was a moment of tense silence as you both stared at one another—both in want and in need—but neither pair of lips could make out words. You clutched your blanket close to your chest to at least have a semblance of modesty, but you were fooling no one, and especially not Astarion.

“I’m sorry, my sweet, but I seem to have caught you at an excellent time.” His lips curled into a smug smirk as he drank in your reddened cheeks and your slightly parted lips. You were still hot from your orgasm, and you couldn’t even bring yourself to retort back with something equally infuriating and snarky. All you could feel staring into his eyes was a deep and ravenous sea of lust awash your entire being. Your lip caught between your teeth as you examined his face wondering what the hell you were supposed to say in a situation like this.

“I said I wanted to be alone. Apparently you’re hearing impaired.” You didn’t sound as sharp as you’d wanted to, but you frankly didn’t care.

“And yet your sweet noises were loud enough to catch my ear. If I didn’t know any better, maybe you wanted to be heard.” His voice dipped below his chords into a very slight growl and it ignited a flame in your stomach that couldn’t be satiated with mere banter. This required action, and a newfound confidence consumed your being as you leaned back in your bedroll.

“Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. But I hardly see why that gave cause for you to waltz in here preening as if I have anything to offer you.” Your teeth bared in a prematurely victorious smile as you examined his full figure that was now nestled into the confines of your tent. He towered over your sitting figure; the shadow of it reaching to every corner of the room. It seemed to grow as he advanced on you quite suddenly when you felt his foot briefly brush against your own to stand at the foot of your bedroll. He shook his head as he beheld the sight of you; completely suffocating in awe and wonder at your figure beneath him.

“Oh no, my dear. You see, I am the one who comes offering. I cross my heart you won’t have to lift a pretty little finger.” His words drip like honey as his figure begins to shrink, taking you only seconds to realize that he was now on his knees with his hands placed firmly upon your own bent ones. His eyes pleaded you for entrance between your soft and supple thighs as he squeezed your skin to urge you on. Your lips fell slightly parted as you contemplated what was happening, and that it was in fact real. You had only moments to come to terms with whether the decision was morally right or wrong, but at this point fuck morality. In that moment you saw the absolute desperation and need he had to make you sing for him, and you couldn’t deny that it made you blush from within as easily as your cheeks had. You rationalized that you had no choice but to part your legs underneath the weight of his palms—breath hitching in your throat has he crawled in the empty space between them before hovering over the entirety of your figure.

“What a sweet little love you are. Are my words so captivating that you’d part your legs at the mere sound of them?” His hand grabbed your chin with the most gentle touch as he angled your gaze to better see him. He wanted to look at all of you, even to the deepest part of your beautiful eyes. He rubbed a feather-light finger across your cheek as his fingers trailed down the same area on your throat you had imagined earlier. Just moments ago so empty, and now you felt completely beguiled at the touch. He awaited your response while his fingers trailed your abdomen.

“If it were your words, we would have been in this position a long time ago.” You breathily sighed as you felt his fingers playing at the threads of the blanket that covered your exposed lower half. His eyes didn’t waver from your own even as your own parted his to look at his hands that inched closer and closer to where you so desperately wanted him.

“Ah, yes. I do believe it’s my gaze that get’s you so bothered.” He grabbed your chin once more, but this time more firmly, to direct your eyes back onto his own. Your mouth suddenly went dry when you felt his fingers dip lower, just barely grazing the hood of your clit, and you fought to keep in a whimpered moan at the sensitive feeling.

“Don’t keep those eyes off of me, darling. I want to watch every moment of your pleasure.”

You let out a soft moan as his fingers began to work gentle, insatiable circles on your sensitive nub. The intensity of his gaze was the only thing keeping you grounded in the blur of pleasure that began to build so quickly due to how recent your last orgasm was. Astarion felt a carnal lust building in himself, nearly drooling at how slick your folds were given your recent release. He wanted to hear those sweet moans for himself, and this time by his own hand. Your cunt was so needy for him that it took no effort to slip a dexterous finger into your core, and then another because he felt so generous. Your hips bucked slightly to create more friction as you already felt your second orgasm of the evening nearing; cheeks reddening in embarrassment as you began clenching around his fingers. He knew you would come undone momentarily, but he was lost in the way your brows furrowed together. The crinkle of your eyes when he would hit a certain spot within you. Your lips so plush and agape, which allowed your soft moans to travel into his ears and strike the deepest part of his dead heart so effortlessly. You were an absolute vision in his eyes.

He closed the space between you with a soft and gentle kiss if only to fill the gap in time he knew which your orgasm would arise. His tongue barely passing your lips; you couldn’t fight the way your hands lifted up to rake your fingers through his soft curls, tugging at them for stability in the kiss that you deepened. His fingers moved at a delicious pace as he brought you to your climax, and you already felt an emptiness in knowing that this moment was over. Even if you hadn’t ridden it out completely—your lips still connected—you felt hollow. Like there was something missing. You felt the gentle tug of his teeth on your bottom lip when he dragged it out, and your throat couldn’t help but release a deep moan as he awarded you with a few more small rubs to your sensitive spot before parting you too soon. He read the desperation in you like an open book, spying the emptiness behind your iris’. Still staring at your gorgeous face, he brought his soiled fingers to his lips before parting them; his digits disappearing into his mouth and cleaning your cum clean off. There seemed to be a new vitality that erupted in him at the mere taste of it, and he couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corner of his pretty lips.

“I’m not finished with you yet.”

Your eyes widened when Astarion broke the eye contact so suddenly, but quickly replaced your shock with content as he connected his lips to the skin of your heartbeat. You couldn’t speak words as you were still hazed from your second peak, but allowed him to work at your body like putty in his hands. He never lingered in a spot too long as he kissed his way down your sweaty body, catching a nipple between his teeth teasingly as he did so which made you whimper. He never once broke eye contact as he shackled you down with just a simple look. You were utterly smitten with him and what he was going to do, and his plead to keep your eyes on him seemed like a silly request to you now. You couldn’t imagine doing anything else but stare at him.

Astarion began to salivate as he neared your sex, knowing full well how slick you were from his touch. The smell of your arousal had filled his senses entirely when he’d reached that aching spot. It was almost instinct to dart his tongue out to catch the dripping juices that flowed from your beautiful cunt, and it was exactly as he had imagined. Though he was a Vampire, and accustomed to a very obviously blood based diet, he wouldn’t deny now that he could live off of the sweetness of your cum alone. As much as he desired to burry his cock in you, he knew the look of your face when his tongue connected with you so intimately would be ingrained in his brain for eternity.

You brought yourself to the upright position; your hands bracing your body behind you to better get a view of this moment. He effortlessly hooked both arms under each of your legs and held firmly at your hips to better spread yourself for him. He didn’t hesitate for a moment longer when you’d situated yourself, and promptly connected his hungry mouth to the mess between your legs.

The feeling couldn’t be overstated; nearly bringing you to tears. It was beyond the amount of pleasure that a being could endure in a single evening, and yet with Astarion there you felt like you could do this for hours. The way his tongue traced devious lines in between your folds, and the way it would dip to tease your entrance. He fought at the idea of pushing a finger inside, but when your hand made home in his white curls he knew he had to make you cum by his tongue alone. He decided then to take your sweet clit between his teeth to suckle on it just right, and deliberately released a hum of satisfaction that he knew would drive you mad. The pained whimper he received proved that his efforts were a success.

You refused to tear away from his eyes. They peered up at you through delicate lashes, and they exhibited such strong hunger that it nearly overwhelmed you. Slipping an innocent finger between your lips to bite back something—anything— from escaping them, you felt his tongue moving faster and with more desperation. His fingers gripped at the skin of your hips so furiously that you knew there would be lingering marks, but you didn’t care. If it was your choice, you’d wish for every mark he gave you to be permanent; a constant reminder of this insurmountable pleasure. Gods, you couldn’t imagine anything in the entire universe feeling this amazing.

Your body shook with another arising orgasm and Astarion’s lips parted you briefly, if at all, to speak.

“So beautiful,” his lips connected with you once again, but only in a gentle kiss, “So delicious.”

He brought his lips back to your spot again to resume his pace, and you threw your head back as far as you could without breaking your gaze. Your orgasm fizzed inside of you more intensely than you’d ever felt before, feeling yourself clawing at the confines of your mind for release. It was too much, far too painful and you were suffering, but you absolutely relished it. You nestled your fingers back into his soft locks as you helped to guide his movements against your aching nub, and his perfect movements mixed with your direction was enough to bring you to the edge of your peak. Your chest heaved heavy breaths in anticipation for your release, and Astarion’s eyes only grew hungrier as his mouth turned animalistic; ravaging your cunt with so much force that you actually felt a stray tear dance across your cheek.

When the moment came, Astarion was completely enraptured. The taste of your cum was so much different at the apex of your orgasm that it nearly brought tears to his eyes; that something so sweet could only be sweeter. He loved how your body shook with passion as the feeling flooded your senses, but nothing was as beautiful as the view his eyes had been graced with. When it came to you, there were no doubts; you were definitely different in every aspect. Even when you rode your orgasm out against his lips, he expected you to push him away, but you never did. You only peered down at him with blood-bitten cheeks and a smile from ear to ear.

“If you’re going to make a habit of calling me silly pet names like ‘sweetheart’ and ‘darling’, you’ll be finding yourself in this position quite a lot.” A chuckle fought at the back of your throat when the words parted you, and you were relieved to see Astarion equally as amused. He rested his head on the ridge of your stomach while his hands traced light circles on the flesh of your legs, awarding you a toothy smile.

“Well, now I can’t imagine anything more enchanting than your ‘little death’, so maybe I should make it a habit. Of course, I’d only do that for my own benefit. Maybe a healing potion, or a new dagger. Definitely not for your pleasure or mine.” He raised a brow mischievously, and the tone in his voice let you know that he was only joking, because there was no hiding it on his face. He’d enjoyed the moment just as much as you, if not more. You were willing to bet now that he would stow away with you every evening to steal moments like this. Even he couldn’t deny that it had brought a warmth into him that he hadn’t felt in hundreds of years. He wanted to lock those images into the confines of his mind so that he might never forget them, replaying them only when he found himself engulfed in darkness with no hope of seeing the light.

“Definitely not. I couldn’t imagine anything more horrible.” You couldn’t wipe the smile off of your face, staring down at him in content. For the first time you could see him as he was; just a man. Your heart sang at the idea that maybe this was okay, and you’d both needed it. Maybe there was to be more in store for the two of you, but in this moment you were just happy with his presence.

He hadn’t even noticed he was lingering until you had fully flattened against the bedroll; your arms getting tired from holding your body up. He sat holding you like that for so long, laying against your stomach and gripping at your hips that he almost felt embarrassed. He’d never been one to linger after any sexual acts, but he couldn’t help but feel so safe with you. The comfort in knowing no words needed to be spoken. And as he got lost in his thoughts, you had already began to drift into blissful sleep with him attached to your abdomen, and he saw no reason why he had to leave.

So he stayed there all night, observing your peaceful face.

#18+ account #astarion #astarion bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate astarion #bg3 #reading #smut #bg3 astarion #fanfic #fem reader #18+ mdni #mdni #spawn astarion #astarion brainrot #astarion x reader #reader imagine #18+ content

[likeadevils]

Speak Now Timeline

This is a very long post that puts all the songs on Speak Now in order of Taylor creating them. I’ve also added a few other songs she wrote while writing Speak Now and quotes from Taylor and her collaborators talking about her process.

If you don't want to read all that, check out this playlist of the album in order or this playlist of her entire discography.

Due to a surprising amount of digital decay and her life not being highly documented yet, exact dates are bit harder to come by then they are with following albums, but you can still find a few! I’ve added this color coded scale of how sure I am of the date: 

Confirmed: There is some type of official source for the date

Inferring: Nobody has officially said “This is when we wrote it,” but everything points to that date

Speculation: This date is based off pure vibes and guesswork and is highly likely to change.

Unknown: All that is known is the year (from the US Copyright Offices)

More notes: I will probably be editing it as information about vault songs and new details about old songs get come out, so it probably won’t be finished until July, so check back in with this post and/or follow me if you want updates. Most tweet dates come from crawling through the wayback machine, but if you want further sourcing, feel free me an ask/dm.

Without further ado...

Sparks Fly: Late 2006 (Inferring)

Taylor opened up for Jake Owen on October 31, 2006 In Portland, Oregon (the secret message for the song), and wrote Sparks Fly about the experience shortly after. I’ve seen a few second hand sources say she wrote it on the airplane ride back to Nashville later that same night, but I can’t find Taylor herself saying that, so it might just be an old fandom legend, or the source has been lost to digital decay, or I just haven’t looked hard enough. She first performs the song in May 29, 2007.

Haunted: 2009 (Unknown)

Taylor: "Haunted" is about the moment that you realize the person you're in love with is drifting and fading fast. And you don't know what to do, but in that period of time, in that phase of love, where it's fading out, time moves so slowly. Everything hinges on what that last text message said, and you're realizing that he's kind of falling out of love. That's a really heartbreaking and tragic thing to go through, because the whole time you're trying to tell yourself it's not happening. I went through this, and I ended up waking up in the middle of the night and writing this song about it.

February 17, 2009: Tweets "It's 3:58 am in London.. And I accidentally fell asleep at 6:30 pm, so now I'm wide awake and have no idea what to do. Write a song?"

It’s possible that this was what Taylor was referring to when she said she “ended up waking up in the middle of the night and writing [Haunted]”, but it’s also very possible that Taylor didn’t write a song on February 17, and waking up in the middle of the night and writing a song is not a rare occurrence in Taylor’s life, so one tweet doesn’t really prove anything.

March 13, 2009: Tweets "A day off in Sydney. Drove two hours out of the city and spent the day on the beach. Wrote a chorus you'll hear on the next record. :)"

Pure speculation, but I think she was working on Mr. Perfectly Fine. It was created in 2009, and in my opinion, of the possible songs it has the most notable chorus.

March 19, 2009: Posts on Myspace “I’m wiped out. I’ve been in the studio all day ( I know, I know.. We JUST put out a new album. I think I have a problem, I cannot stop writing songs.) It’s so much fun knowing that you can take your time, because you have like a year and a half to make something you’re really proud of. I love recording a few songs, waiting a few months, recording a few more.. Instead of devoting a few weeks to “record the album” and then it’s just done. I like dragging it out, that way you can be meticulous about every detail. Daydream about different ways to put the songs together, and then take them apart. I’m pretty obsessed with the whole process. So needless to say, it was good to be back in the studio with my redheaded producer who I missed terribly.”

If This Was A Movie: April 2009 (Inferring)

Taylor has literally never talked about this song, but April would be six months after and Joe Jonas broke up in late September/early October 2008.

April 24, 2009: Taylor plays in Jonesboro, Arkansas, and possibly writes a song: "I'd get my best ideas at 3:00 AM in Arkansas, and didn't have a co-writer around and I'd just finish it. And that would happen again in New York [likely Enchanted], that would happen again in Boston [likely Long Live], that would happen again in Nashville." (x)

May 23, 2009: Taylor records Half Of My Heart with John Mayer

On March 1, 2009: John Mayer tweeted: “Waking up to this song idea that won’t leave my head. 3 days straight now. That means it’s good enough to finish. It’s called Half of My Heart and I want to sing it with Taylor Swift. She would make a killer Stevie Nicks in contrast to my Tom Petty of a song.” On May 23, John Mayer tweeted "I couldn't get Taylor Swift on my record so I found the world's greatest impersonator, Laura Jacksheimer" with a picture of Taylor.

Superman: Spring 2009 (Speculation)

This could have been written any time in 2009, but due to it's general sound and the following quote, I’d guess it was written sometime in spring, when her and John Mayer first started working together. Taylor: “This was a guy that I was sort of enamored with, as usual. This song got its title by something that I just kinda said randomly in conversation. He walked out of the room, I looked over at one of my friends and said, ‘Man, It’s just like watching Superman fly away.’”

May 29, 2009: Posts on Myspace “Tomorrow, after the performance on the Today show, I’ll fly back to Nashville and record a lot of new songs I’ve written in the last few weeks. I’m really excited about that.” (She also posts "Tonight I went shopping at Top Shop in New York with the band. I got purple shoes. I’m really excited about the purple shoes, and I just needed to tell someone. I got purple shoes. Ok. That’s done." Which. If I had a nickel for everytime Taylor teased her new album by posting about shoe colors I'd have two nickels, which isnt a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.)

June 4, 2009: Posts on Facebook "In the studio. I don't know whose computer I'm using. Pssh.. Such a rebel right now.."

June 9, 2009: Tweets (about recording Thug Story) "If I said I was in the studio with T-Pain, would you believe me?"

Better Than Revenge and Let’s Go (Battle): June 2009 (Inferring)

These were probably written sometime between June 12, when the Jonas Brothers released “Much Better”, and July 1, when Taylor posted on Myspace: “What else is new.. Recording a bunch of new songs. Lots of new things to write about…..”

Last Kiss: 2009 (Unknown)

Taylor: "The song "Last Kiss" is sort of like a letter to somebody. You say all of these desperate, hopeless feelings that you have after a breakup. Going through a breakup you feel all of these different things. You feel anger, and you feel confusion, and frustration. Then there is the absolute sadness. The sadness of losing this person, losing all the memories, and the hopes you had for the future. There are times when you have this moment of truth where you just admit to yourself that you miss all these things. When I was in one of those moments I wrote this song."

July 22, 2009: Tweets "Hanging with my producer Nathan, discussing the next adventure" and then in a separate tweet "...album #3."

Never Grow Up: Fall 2009 (Speculation)

Lover Diary Nathan Chapman: "The song 'Never Grow Up' is just she singing and I on acoustic guitar. We recorded ourselves live. That song probably happened in two hours." This could’ve been written at any time in 2009, but I put it here because she bought her Nashville apartment sometime before October.

September 8, 2009: Tweeted "Last night in nash before heading out tomorrow for 4 shows, then VMA's. But right now I can't put the guitar down."

September 13, 2009: VMAs Incident

Enchanted: September 15, 2009 (Confirmed)

On September 15, Taylor attended an Owl City Concert in New York Taylor: "It was about this guy that I met in New York City, and I had talked to him on email or something before, but I had never met him. And meeting him, it was this overwhelming feeling of: I really hope that you're not in love with somebody. And the whole entire way home, I remember the glittery New York City buildings passing by, and then just sitting there thinking, am I ever going to talk to this person again? And that pining away for a romance that may never even happen, but all you have is this hope that it could, and the fear that it never will. I started writing that in the hotel room when I got back. Because it just was this positive, wistful feeling of: I hope you understand just how much I loved meeting you. I hope that you know that meeting you was not something that I took lightly, or just in passing. And I think my favorite part of that song is the part where, in the bridge, it goes to sort of a stream of consciousness of ‘Please don't be in love with someone else/Please don't have somebody waiting on you.' Because at that moment, that's exactly what my thoughts were. And it feels good to write exactly what your thoughts were in a certain moment.”

September 26, 2009: Taylor plays in Little Rock, Arkansas, and possibly writes a song: "I'd get my best ideas at 3:00 AM in Arkansas, and didn't have a co-writer around and I'd just finish it. And that would happen again in New York [Enchanted & Back To December], that would happen again in Boston [Long Live], that would happen again in Nashville." (x)

October 17, 2009: Tweets "Travis: you look so out of it. Me: I'm writing a song in my head. Travis: oh, I apologize. I didn't realize you were working."

November 30, 2009: Tweets "If I had a dime for every time my producer and I blurt out the same thing at the same time, followed by an awkward, uncoordinated high five..."

Ours: December 6, 2009 (Inferring)

Myspace Post on December 6: “I just got back to Nashville this morning after being in LA all week. Today I was out and about and in the studio all day” Taylor: "I wrote this when I was about to turn 20. I was in a relationship I knew people wouldn't approve of, and it was just a matter of time before everyone found out. When you're first getting to know someone, it's a fragile time, and then you add newspapers and magazine covers and it can get kind of rough. I wanted to have this song to play for him when it got difficult. Singing it for him was one of the sweetest moments I can remember."

December 22, 2009: Tweets "I was writing a song and my pen fell into the piano. Still trying to figure out if I should do anything about this."

January 2010: Starts polishing up the demos made in 2009 into fully produced tracks

Billboard: "Swift and Chapman had begun recording new songs almost as soon as "Fearless" was released. The two cut demos in his basement studio and would only take those songs to larger facilities once they felt they had an emotional foundation in the basic tracks. Still, it wasn’t until early 2010 when the album truly began to coalesce." Nathan Chapman: "We stripped it down and made the demos first. Taylor came to my studio and I played all the instruments on the demos, and because I have a good vocal booth, her demo vocals ended up being the vocals you hear on the record. After finishing the demos, we went out to different studios, and tried different combinations of engineers and musicians to replace some of the elements of my demos, mostly the programmed drums, and to do additional overdubs. [...] A pop artist would probably release what we'd done after five hours, but country artists don't want to hear programmed drums, they don't want to hear fake stuff. So once we had recorded the demos, we would book whatever studio we wanted for each song, to replace the drums, in many cases the bass, and to add whatever overdubs we envisioned, like fiddle, keyboards, percussion and strings. After we got the demos right, we opened it up and allowed ourselves to spend money and cut a big record." Taylor tweets on January 11: "Studio-ness with all the same boys who played on Fearless" and on January 13: "More recording. So excited. So excited. So excited. See, I said that three times. Once for every album we've made in this studio."

January 13, 2010: Posts on Myspace “Thank you January. I have had this month off. I have walked on snow-covered grass and discovered new coffee shops and laughed hysterically with friends about things that probably weren’t technically funny. I’ve written songs on napkins and sat at a giant table with my whole family on my mother’s birthday, all of us in one place for the first time in too long. I’ve gotten to take what has happened to me and process it to my full capability, and celebrate it the way it deserved to be celebrated. I’ve made new music. I’ve gone over the memories and jumped up and down with my producer and floated around with nothing on my schedule other than just appreciating what my life has somehow turned into. [...] Getting back in the studio with the same guys I trust and know and love.. (right, the pointing one: my producer Nathan Chapman) (Left, the waving one: Bass extraorinaire, Tim Marks. Clearly marked on his road case.) [...] Nick Buddha is in charge of the drums.”

February 22, 2010: Posts on Myspace "I’ve been writing lots of songs"

February 13, 2010: Writes in her diary "I’ve been obsessing over the new album. I always do that until it’s just right. I don’t know if I have the formula just right for this one yet. I know there are great songs. I just need to figure out the strands that bond them together into a great album. And I will obsess until it’s there. This album, any album, is the next 2 years of my life. It has to be more than amazing. It has to be great enough to keep my attention for 2 years."

Mine: March 10-12 2010 (Inferring)

Taylor (above interview, at 5:17): "I wrote Mine somewhere on the road, I think in Texas, actually." Nathan Chapman: "The demo for 'Mine' apparently took less than five hours to record, and sounded, according to Chapman, "almost identical to the record. After that we worked on the track for another four months, off and on, and spent $30,000 to make sure it sounded perfect in the real world."" Taylor: "This song is the first single because it has this…there was this moment between Nathan and I, my producer, when I brought this song in and when we made this demo in one day in his basement and we just kinda looked at each other and we were like, "This is it. This is the one. All of the times that I've had "The Moment" with songs of "This is the one," it's been a good call, so I'm hoping for the best on this one. Wish me luck." Scott Borchetta: "Mine" was a turning point in the album’s development. Swift and Chapman had begun recording new songs almost as soon as "Fearless" was released. The two cut demos in his basement studio and would only take those songs to larger facilities once they felt they had an emotional foundation in the basic tracks. Still, it wasn’t until early 2010 when the album truly began to coalesce. Swift presented "Mine" to Borchetta in his office [...] "We probably played that song four or five times," Borchetta recalls. "I’m jumping around playing air guitar, she’s singing the song back to me, and it was just one of those crazy, fun, Taylor teen-age moments."

March 13, 2010: Taylor records Mine, brings it to Scott Borchetta, and says she’s done with TS3

Scott Borchetta: "I said, ‘Keep going,’ [...] She kind of looked at me like, ‘You’re challenging me.’ And I said, ‘Yeah. You’ve found true north here. Keep going.’ " Taylor: “During Speak Now, when I went to (label head) Scott Borchetta and said, 'The album’s finished,’ he said, 'No, it’s not – you need to keep writing.’” (Right after playing in Texas, Taylor leaves for a vacation in the Bahamas, meaning Taylor likely had about a day in Nashville between the two trips).

Innocent: Late March 2010 (Inferring)

Billboard: “It was some time in the period after that challenge — between February and June — that Swift wrote “Innocent,” her response to the Kanye West incident.​​” Taylor: “Some songs take 30 minutes to write, and some take six months, which was the case with “Innocent.” When things affect me intensely and really hit me hard, it can take a while to figure out what I think about it and what to say about it.” (March would be just over 6 months since the VMAs).

March 24, 2010: Taylor goes lunch with Taylor Lautner and both of their publicists, inspiring Back To December.

Taylor: Swift says she based the song on a conversation she had with the guy about whom she's singing. "It's not loosely based," she says. "It's almost word-for-word. It is a song and a conversation that needed to happen, because I don't want to hurt people. If you unintentionally do so, you've got to make that better."

Speak Now: Early April, 2010 (Inferring)

On April 3, Taylor attended the wedding of Josh Farro as Hayley Williams (who is Josh's ex) plus one. That day she also tweeted: ""Nathan you smell really good! Is that a new cologne?" "Thanks! Actually it's a two in one shampoo and soap. From Dial." My producer rules." implying she was in the studio. The conversation below could have happened any day after the VMA awards in September, when Hayley first reached out to Taylor, but I think Taylor probably wrote the song fairly close to naming the album after it. Taylor: "This song was inspired by one of my friends who was telling me about her childhood sweetheart, crush guy. They were kind of together in high school and went their separate ways, and it was kind of understood that they were gonna get back together. Then, she one day comes in and tells me he's getting married. He had met this girl who was just this mean person who made him completely stop talking to all of his friends, cut off his family, had him like so completely isolated. And I just, kind of randomly, was like, "So, you gonna speak now?" She was like, "What do you mean?" And I was like "Oh, you know, like storm the church, speak now or forever hold your peace? I'll go with you. I'll play guitar. It would be great." She was just kind of laughing, and later on I just was wrapping my mind around that idea of how tragic it would be if someone you loved was marrying somebody else. Later I had a dream about one of my ex-boyfriends getting married, and it just all came together that I needed to write this song about interrupting a wedding. For me, I like to think of it as good versus evil, and this girl is so completely painted as the evil one. So this is "Speak Now.""

April 13, 2010: Names TS3 Speak Now

Lover Diaries: "So I’ve been obsessing over the new record to the point where it’s all I can focus on. I’m majorly stressed and borderline losing it, with all these lists and chronic dissatisfaction. Perfectionist-ness. I keep growing tired of songs because I know I’ve raised the bar and I can beat half the songs. Scott and I had lunch the other day. We were talking about the record and I had this epiphany. I didn’t talk in interviews about how I felt about much of what has happened in the last 2 years. I’ve been silent about so much that I’m saying on this album. It’s time to Speak Now. Scott freaked out. He loved it. We have a title, ladies and gentlemen!" Scott Borchetta: ""At one point, the record was not called ‘Speak Now.’ It was called ‘Enchanted,’ [...] We were at lunch, and she had played me a bunch of the new songs. I looked at her and I’m like, ‘Taylor, this record isn’t about fairy tales and high school anymore. That’s not where you’re at. I don’t think the record should be called "Enchanted."’” Swift excused herself from the table at that point. By the time she came back, she had the "Speak Now" title"

Dear John: Spring 2010 (Speculation)

This was likely written sometime after February 2010 (Taylor implies she's single in her vlog and her diary). Beyond that, it could have been anytime between February and June 2010.

Brief Interruption: The next two songs (Back to December and Mean) are going to use quotes from this interview that @1989worldtour found. If you've already listened to the interview attached to the Mine section, then it's the same interview

Back To December: Early May, 2010 (Inferring)

Taylor (above interview, at 5:12): "Back to December was written in New York City. Taylor was in New York city from May 3-5, and May 12-15 2010. she was not photographed in New York any other time in early 2010, and given her busy touring schedule, I doubt she was in New York at another time. USA TODAY: “Swift says she based the song on a conversation she had with the guy about whom she's singing. "It's not loosely based," she says. "It's almost word-for-word. It is a song and a conversation that needed to happen, because I don't want to hurt people. If you unintentionally do so, you've got to make that better."”

Mean: May 29, 2010 (Speculation)

Taylor (above interview, about 6 minutes in): "I started this song called Mean on my, like sitting on my kitchen counter, just playing it, and then, you know, took a plane and flew to the venue where we were gonna play that night and finished it in the dressing room." Now, this may be a too literal interpretation of "took a plane and flew to the venue where we were gonna play that night," but if we want to theorize: the only tour date (that Taylor could've conceivably written Mean during) without another show right before or after it was in Baton Rogue on May 29, 2010.

Long Live: June 2010 (Confirmed)

Lover Diary She likely wrote this around June 5, when she ended the Fearless Tour at Gillette Stadium (Wikipedia counts two festivals as being part of the Fearless Tour but Taylor doesn't, so I'm going with her opinion), since she said that she wrote a song for Speak Now in Boston (which is the closest major city to Gillette)

The Story Of Us: June 9-16, 2010 (Confirmed)

Taylor attended the CMT Awards (Which goes on to be the secret message for The Story Of Us) on June 9 and was sat very close to John Mayer. Taylor: "The people closest to me are used to me deserting a conversation and bolting into some corner of the room with my phone out, hunched over, singing some melody or lyric or hook into my phone. I wrote “The Story of Us” about running into an ex at an awards show, and I came home and sat down at a kitchen table and told my mom, “I felt like I was standing alone in a crowded room.” She tried to console me, but I was gone at that point." Lover Diary: "So I’ve been a little studio rat since the tour ended [...] Ever since, I wake up to my cell phone alarm around 9:30 each morning. Throw on a sundress, skip make up, tie my hair in a messy side braid, and head out the door with no shoes on. Because the only walking outside I’ll be doing is from my house to my car, then from my car, three steps to Nathan’s basement studio. [...] I worked on a song for a few days, then basically finished it in the car on the way to Nathan’s this morning. It. Is. So. Good. And I can safely say I am DONE writing this record!! This song is up-tempo, and hooky and sort of torn-sounding … like this horrible stressed confusion that comes on when you knew the person you’re pining away for is in the room. And for some reason, there are these invisible walls keeping things from being ok. So you’re not fine. And they’re not fine. And I’m so happy I wrote that song!! Footage of Taylor working on TSOU

June 30, 2010: Taylor tweets “@amosjheller is SLAYING a bass part in the studio right now. http://twitpic.com/21am7t” 

Footage Nathan Chapman: “We tried several bassists until we had a bass part that worked, which was played by Amos Heller, of Taylor's live band. In Nashville, it's rare for a road musician to be on the record, but he earned his way into this record by kicking ass. In fact, all Taylor's road musicians played some parts on the album, which was important for me and her.”

July 15, 2010: The orchestra for Back To December and Haunted are recorded (footage here, same outfit as these candids)

Taylor (talking about Haunted): “I wanted the music and the orchestration to reflect the intensity of the emotion the song is about, so we recorded strings with Paul Buckmaster at Capitol Studios in Los Angeles. It was an amazing experience - recording this entire big, live string section that I think in the end really captured the intense, chaotic feeling of confusion I was looking for."

And that's all for this timeline! Check out my others:

TIMELINES: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights PLAYLISTS: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights • entire discography GENERAL: tag

#txt* #timeline* #taylor swift #if this deletes again i might actually delete my account #let me know if theres a typo or anything my eyes are glazing over

[starsandhughes]

Penalty Box— Quinn Hughes Edition (Part Fourteen)

SERIES MASTERLIST

previous: thirteen

next: fifteen

this is 1000% the longest one yet and i simply couldn’t cut anything.

TUESDAY, MARCH 28TH

yourusername

liked by _quinnhughes, trevorzegras, and 10,671 others

yourusername welcome to my postgame penalty box update: i’m going to be a sap because of my best friend edition! this was a heartbreaking loss, but quinn kicked some serious ass tonight. in his postgame interview, he went on to explain why this game wasn’t their best. i’m not going to argue, but quinn, my favorite hughes of the day, you were really hughesing tonight! (warning: this next part is zero silly goosing and pure love babies)

during his 28:33 minutes of ice time, my best friend scored the opening goal of the game 6:06 into the game! jamie has photographic proof that i immediately burst into tears at this from pure joy and pride. this was his sixth of the season, for real this time, so this goal gave him his 70th point of the season! he is continuing to beat his points in a single season for a d-man in the canucks record!

quinny baby’s second point of the night came in second period at 18:26, where he got his 65th assist on brock’s goal! once again adding to his record point season!

here’s where it gets extra special: quinn’s third point of the night happened at 19:06 in third period. how did he get this third point? WITH ANOTHER GOAL BABY!!! LUCKY NUMBER SEVEN!!! my best friend scored the equalizer and brought the game into OT! i cried even harder this time, and trevor did NOT have a fun time with that! (i’m not sorry)

to summarize: quinn now has 7 goals, 65 assists, and 72 points this season! he had his second career multi goal game, and has beat his previous record of most multi point games for a d-man in a season for the canucks’ franchise to 20 to 21 games! happy quinn hughes night everyone! all of this on the four year anniversary of his first nhl point! and his fourth game without a penalty!

shoutouts: brock also had a three point game! and kuzy got two goals and is now 2nd for the record of most goals by a first year player, behind austin matthews who had 39 goals! and burroughs!! he threw hands!! blood was drawn!! z has video evidence of me cheering!

i’ve never been prouder of you, quinn, and i’m so lucky to call you my best friend. i love you!💙

tagged _quinnhughes

view all 304 comments

_quinnhughes post game facetimes are now my favorite tradition because seeing you bouncy and happy made my night better! (i love you, too)

yourusername i’ll always be your number one fan, quinner <3

trevorzegras stop being cute i’m scared

jackhughes it’s very unnerving

yourusername i gotta keep ya’ll on your toes

user1 the blues had no right to win on quinn’s night

jackhughes not mentioned: y/n group facetiming me and moose after quinny’s first goal and just screamed

trevorzegras were you surprised?

lhughes_06 @/trevorzegras not a bit

jackhughes @/trevorzegras i was alarmed it took so long

jamie.drysdale @/jackhughes she had to stop crying

yourusername LET ME BE PROUD!!

_quinnhughes this is the most y/n thing she’s ever done

user2 THIS IS HIS SEASON

user3 y/n is the president of quinn hughes nation

yourusername and treasurer

_eliaspettersson so proud!🥳

_quinnhughes thank you, petey💯💯

user4 i, too, cried over quinn tonight

_alexturcotte SO PROUD OF YOU @_quinnhughes !!

_quinnhughes thanks man!!

yourusername ty for your appreciation comment, vice president!

_alexturcotte happy to serve for quinn hughes nation

user5 petition to make y/n a canucks announcer

lhughes_06 quinn got jealous that jack and i scored two goals friday and just had to do it, too, smh. copy cat

jackhughes TECHNICALLY i scored three! i win!

_quinnhughes @/jackhughes LEGALLY you scored twice

lhughes_06 @_quinnhughes well i got five LEGAL points and you got three so HA! i win!

yourusername i’m going to rip out all of your eyeballs and put them in a jar and randomly select which eye goes to who if you three don’t stfu and be nice and support to one another

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras all you, dude

trevorzegras @/jamie.drysdale all you, dude

jamie.drysdale @/yourusername it’s enclosure time, wifey

user6 new lore unlocked: y/n is scary

trevorzegras y/n osmosised her pride into me when she clung to me as she cried so… i’m proud of you!

_quinnhughes thanks😂

yourusername when they get along >>>

colecaufield @_quinnhughes you’re my idol

_quinnhughes i know

yourusername my best friend is so humble🥰

trevorzegras @/yourusername i don’t think that word means what you think it means

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras no that’s right

yourusername @/trevorzegras suck it

trevorzegras @/yourusername you first

_quinnhughes stop being horny on MY post!

user7 i’d kill to watch y/n watch a game

user8 the real question is: do the guys keep a games since y/n last cried count?

jamie.drysdale brilliant

_alexturcotte how did we not think of this

_eliaspettersson added this to their story

#penalty box series #penalty box series: quinn hughes edition #quinn hughes #quinn hughes imagine #quinn hughes fic #trevor zegras #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras imagine #jack hughes #luke hughes #jamie drysdale #vancover canucks #alex turcotte #elias pettersson #quinn hughes x reader #nhl #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #hockey fic

[mjparkerwriting]

Y’all….I’m done!

I’ve been a little quiet for a reason. As I said before in another post, I’ve been pretty busy lately. Friend stuff. Writing stuff. Relaxing stuff. Getting ready for an end of summer trip AND prepping for a new school year, teaching at a new school. A lot has been happening.

BUT I just finished my first draft of TLBH. Like…I’m done! My minimum goal was 85k and today, I hit 85,144, which I am perfectly happy with. I am so excited to be done and really proud of myself for sticking with it.

Now, I will be taking a break from looking at this WIP and anything to do with it. Editing and second draft stuff will sit on the back burner for a bit. I have an idea for another story that I wanna work on and haven’t been able to dig into too much lately because I wanted to finish this project first, so I will start shifting my focus to this standalone project before going back to my big series stuff.

Now, whenever I play different tag games and such, I’ll have two different stories to pick from.

Thanks everyone who’s followed me, liked, reblogged, etc. Thanks for all the asks and tags and all the support. You guys are really awesome and I can’t wait to share other stuff with you all. :) 🤍

#writeblr #black writers #writers of tumblr #current wip #wip tlbh #queer writers #poc writer

[sebsallowapologist]

Little Bird || Part I

This was up on AO3 for a bit- but I’ve done more writing and I’m going to be posting more chapters, so I thought I’d edit it to be more reader / MC instead of an OC (I feel like Tumblr likes that more but lmk!) Little outtakes from the trio’s last year at Hogwarts <3 

Sebastian Sallow x F! Reader • 7th Year • Friends to Lovers

warnings: none for now- I’ll update if future chapters get a little 🌶 First one is a little short but they get longer. 

Over the summer before her seventh year MC has really come into her own. Figured out how to do her hair, dress to accentuate her favorite features, and finally looks like a full grown woman, instead of child. It seems like everyone has noticed - everyone except her crush best friend Sebastian Sallow.

She tries to deal with her deepening feelings, loosing control of her ancient magic and feeling like she’s not ready to leave Hogwarts.

________________________________

I hadn’t gotten farther than throwing my trunk down next to my bed before I turned on my heel and ran out of the Ravenclaw dormitories.

I come around the corner, bolting for the stairs that will lead me out of the Astronomy tower when I smack head first into Everett, who reaches his arms out to grip my shoulders and steady me before I hit the floor from the force.

“Woah there now.” He laughs, giving me a once over while keeping his hands on my shoulders. “In a rush already? It’s barely the first day of the term.”

I tuck my hair behind my ear and back up a few steps as I answer him, his hands falling off my shoulders as I walk away, backwards toward my escape. “Yeah, Yep. Got plans.”

“What about later? We can catch up from summer over a butterbeer? Three broomsticks, yeah?”

“Uh yeah I’m sure I’ll see you there.” I laugh a little awkwardly, wincing as I turn around. I was willing to say anything to get out of the common room, but I wish I hadn’t left the door open for the butter beer. Truth be told I’ve never really liked Everett. Not after I saw him bully another student in my first year here. Giving him a mean nickname and refusing to let it drop. I’ve done some things I’m not proud of, but teasing people for something they can’t control is just cruel. I’d always had the feeling he didn’t particularly like me either- or really remember I existed.

“Well I was thinking we could make a specific time, and meet there.”

crap.

I take a few more steps back and plaster on a polite smile.

“I’ll talk to you later!” I wave as I break back into my run, stepping down the stairs I knew all too well, using the bannister to swing my body around the corners and keep my speed up. I burst through the door and only have to take a few steps before I come to a screeching halt. Because I see him. 

Him. 

Sebastian is leaning against the wall, always the picture of nonchalance. He’s not yet wearing his shapeless robes, a thin sweater clinging to the muscles that has gotten even more pronounced over the summer. For Merlin’s sake how did that happen? 

Ominis stands straight next to his slouched friend, I feel like he had a few more inches on him now too.

It was so good to see them together as friends again, hanging out without me orchestrating it. It had taken me all of year six, but finally they were on good terms, and I was quite looking forward to no longer playing referee.

He catches me staring- and when we lock eyes a brilliant smile spreads across Sebastian’s face, freckles crinkling around his eyes. I break back into my run, faster than ever and he pushes himself off the wall to catch me in a hug, spinning me around twice in the air before setting my feet back down on the stone floor. “Hi little bird.” he smiles and all I can do is smile back up at him. “Did you have a good trip in? Hogwarts Express gave you no trouble, right darling?” I nodded.

He of course didn’t have to ask how my summer was, there wasn’t a week where we didnt send owls back and forth. “Don’t hog her.” Ominis smiles, opening his arms for a hug.

I wrap my arms around him and bounce on my toes, trying my very best to contain my excitement. “I missed you both so much, life was terribly boring without you.”

“Your life? Terribly boring? I know you get up to trouble whenever you can, don’t lie.” Ominis laughed and I pat his cheek. “Are we going for food? Hogsmeade? What are we doing?” I ask.

“Well I vote we get obviously drunk at the three broomsticks, wanter around hogsmeade and come back to generally terrorize year ones, it’s our job since we’re year seven now.” Sebastian smirks, cracking his knuckles for his ever present dramatic effect.

I smack his chest, fighting the urge to not run my hand over the soft sweater. “Stop it’s their first year they’re probably already scared out of their wits. Besides, we have the feast in a few hours.”

“Ominis already made one cry.”

“Listen! He stepped in my way, we almost took a tumble down the stairs-”

Ominis recounts his story as we start walking down the hallway. Sebastian walks next to me, and his arm rests over my shoulders. “Ah- I missed you little bird.” He mumbles in my ear as Ominis tells his story.

“I missed you too.” I whisper and he kisses the top of my head.

#sebastian sallow x reader #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow x mc #Sebastian sallow x you #ominis gaunt

[firstkanaphans]

okay, so based off of the lineup we saw from part 1 I think I see gmmtv's logic process (to clarify, not saying i'm happy about it, just that i think i see what they're doing 😂)

it seems like they saved a lot of their more experimental and/or riskier pitches for this part 1 - basically the ones that are more likely to slip under the radar if they'd been presented alongside the big fan fave pairings, directors and/or show concepts. but to make it a little more even they did pad it somewhat with a few easy fan faves like offgun and geminifourth to keep it a little more even.

my guess for why they saved firstkhao for part 2 is because they're saving part 2 for the big hard hitting pairs and show concepts. this way, the shows that would be more likely to go under the radar in part 1 get some time to shine on their own and garner interest before the big name shows/directors come in and occupy the fan discussion circles.

this way it also keeps fans coming back to watch pt 2 for the pairs that they're waiting to see. i also think it gives the producers some time to take a temp check and see what fans are/aren't interested in before committing to their 2nd half.

on one hand, it does suck that we have to wait a while longer before we see our boys again, but on the other, at least we'll have something to look forward to in dec/jan! also, even though they definitely deserve better than to be used as fan bait, i'm also kind of weirdly proud of our fk boys being saved for the pt 2 because that means they've officially made it in the big ranks if they are being used to boost ratings, haha 😂 :')

So, I’m going to put this under a read more because y’all’ve had to listen to me gripe enough for one day. Fair warning: Apparently, I’m still heated so open at your own risk.

This is a very nice thought, Anon, but honestly, I don't think these people have any idea what they're doing 😂 If their idea was to use Part 1 to make people more excited for Part 2, then they failed miserably considering they didn't even tell us when Part 2 was. Next week? Next month? Next year? No one knows. Much less us, the viewers.

Right now, I just feel used. If they had announced all of the shows today and FirstKhaotung didn't get anything, I would have been disappointed, but I at least wouldn't feel like the possibility of them was being dangled in front of me like a carrot. I feel like P'Tha is in his evil lair, stroking his chin, saying, "Let's see how well they sell out their next couple fan meets then we'll make a final decision on whether to give them a new series." Dishonor on all their cows!

Splitting this into 2 parts was just a bad idea all around. Like are they really going to have another big to-do in a couple months (unlikely) or is Part 2 just going to be held on the GMMTV Live House set? Neo and Mark can host since they apparently don't have anything better to do either.

As to why they split the show into two parts, I’ve seen some people hypothesize that the Only Friends cast wasn’t included because they wouldn’t have had time to film the trailers, but they’ve been done filming OF for a while. If the cast didn’t have time to film trailers, it’s because GMMTV has them flying all over the world to fan meets every weekend. And that’s on GMMTV. Those fan meets should not get in the way of actual acting. 

A better guess, in my opinion, is that whatever director they’re scheduled to work with is the one who didn’t have time to film a trailer. P’Jojo for instance is apparently editing Only Friends episodes on a week-to-week basis so it makes sense that he wouldn’t have time to film anything. I hope this means that FK might be working with a very solid director, but they’ve also just recently started following New Siwaj on Twitter so that specter will continue haunting us for the next couple months (or more) as well. 

I just personally feel that GMMTV has really backed themselves into a corner here because now if FK don’t get something legitimately good, I’m going to be even more pissed than I already am. You kept me waiting for this?? And the cherry on top of this already horrendous situation is the fucking School Rangers announcement.

I cannot tell you how mad I am about the School Rangers thing. School Rangers is where they send actors to die. White’s been holding his own there for years because no one wants to cast him in anything else. So, to bolster ratings, they throw the entire cast of Only Friends in there. It pisses me off! They’re using our built-in fanbase for views on a show they don’t even have the decency to translate. Can you tell I'm angry?

Bottom line: these are actors. Let them fucking act. Because if you keep making them do ridiculous game show shit, they’re going to fucking leave—and I would not blame them at all. FK could probably make more money with a YouTube channel at this point.

I’m sorry I’m being so negative about this. To clarify: I do think FK are getting a series together (since they’re clearly not in anything else 🙃). And I don’t even need them to be in a series together to be happy. I just need them to be in fucking something. 

I mean, if there’s one bright side to all of this, it’s that I can’t imagine they’ll do this shit again because they’ve managed to piss off so many fandoms. I remember watching the show last year and being so fucking excited but now, I can’t even get excited about the few shows I'm interested in because there's this huge “what if?” hanging over our heads. The long, drawn-out wait for news just seems cruel and I think they should all go fuck themselves, honestly.

#if we don't get a good sandray episode this week i might actually lose it #gmmtv 2024

[flowerslut]

😂☀️🏅

What’s the funniest comment someone has left on a fic of yours?

this is such a tough one, but half of @volturialice’s comments on call of the night made me laugh so hard that I befriended and then hung out with her. and fast forward five years she has clowned her way into my heart ~irrevocably~ 🥰❤️

honorable mentions go to these specific ones (top one belongs to my wife ofc)

and I wish I could find the tumblr ask that says “thanks for the stories my therapist will know your name” because that one takes the cake.

Has anyone ever left you a comment that made your day? What did it say?

ALL THE TIME ARE YOU JOKING??? most recently I’ve been getting a lot of comments from people telling me about how my version of maria in roots is turning them into maria stans, and every time that happens I twirl my hair and kick my feet like a lovesick idiot 🤩

also a lot of people have left comments on call of the night (and walk in the dark) to tell me about how they binge-read it over a day or two and those are always my favorite because it means I derailed someone’s sleep schedule for at least one night and that delights me every time. but here’s a pair of comments I think of regularly:

because it 1000% summed up the way I wanted everyone to feel during the climax of cotn’ and to see that I stuck the landing? sublime. nothing will ever feel as good as seeing these as the first two comments after I posted that chapter 🥰

What is the fic you’re most proud of?

this is suchhhhhh a hard one so I’m gonna be a cheating little cheat and answer it in three parts. because my personal favorite fic of mine (not the best, per se, but my number 1) is north star. tbh, that fic should have been much trickier to write (empath alice and psychic jasper? how do you even attempt to successfully jam that into canon!verse?) so i’m very proud of myself for cranking it out over the time span that I did. that was the first fic I ever gave to my wife to look-over and make lil edits to, which is something that I had never once done before with any of my writing EVER.

then or course you’ve got call of the night, and just about everyone has heard the story about that fic, but I really am soooo proud of myself for finishing it! 16/17 year old baby shan would have been sooooo happy to know that it was lovingly completed (technically speaking) in my 20s!

but I think I have to nominate roots for ‘fic i’m most proud of’ just due to the sheer size of this project. and maybe it’s that Current Fic Bias talking (since it’s the only fic of mine being updated/worked on rn) but I really did daydream, outline, and draft an entire 200k word fic with multiple alternating povs and so many moving parts that my even readers are making timelines to make sure they don’t miss anything. that’s so cool for me! that’s so fun! roots has swamped my brain for a year and a half, I’ve put my whole pussy into it, and not to sound like a broken record but shoutout to my wife @volturialice for basically being my editor. the fact that she hasn’t killed me for not knowing the difference between “its” and “it’s” or divorced me for my fixation on unnecessary scene blocking isssss miraculous 🥴

send me more fanfic asks

#you know i had to do it to em (drop the irrevocably about my wife) #these answers are getting long as fuck but whatever y’all asked 3 at once

[michelleelizabethtanner]

16, 28, and 29 for AO3 wrapped!

Hey! Tyty for the ask ❤️❤️❤️

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

So far my most common addl tag has been “cannon compliant.” Which makes sense, because AU has been a journey for me. I just feel so rooted in who these characters are in canon, find that the magic centers around who they are in these particular circumstances, and I have a lot of trouble finding a connection to them in circumstances or settings that remove me too far from their canonic characterizations. There are fics by others that have immersed me and allowed my rigid mind to see the Brio magic in unlikely circumstances. But in my own writing, this has been difficult. I’ve been practicing though!!! I made that baby fic. Which kinda keeps them canonically themselves mostly, I think. Except they have a baby. So maybe that’s more canon divergent than straight AU. My current WIP is a full AU, though, and it’s breaking my brain. Part of my struggle is that I have such a hard time accepting Brio as not really Brio. Or Brio but different. The “Rio would never” runs through my mind incessantly and I keep having to set the work aside because I don’t like him like that. (I honestly just wanna post the done pieces of it already so there’s an element of not going back. Because otherwise I keep wanting to just scrap it.) So goal for 2024 is to finish that AU and get more comfortable with actually having an imagination. 😂

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?

I think My Girl is my favorite work of the year. It was the most challenging (at least of the completed works), and as I mentioned before, the most autobiographical. It’s so funny that the trope I was the most against has come to be my own favorite work. I think I also used the most sophisticated (and let’s not get too excited here, it still wasn’t anything that would pass a professional edit) writing conventions in this work. I really enjoy stories told from the present gazing into the past to give us a better perspective on the present. So I wanted to try that for myself and run it through an entire work. I had done some of that kind of style in Rough Night a bit, and those actually usually ended up being the best-received chapters that I liked the best too. So I gave it a shot. Some elements came out just as I had hoped and I’m really proud of myself for being able to “make a thing the way I think is a nice way to make a thing.” Other aspects didn’t come out quite so elegantly, and there are certainly plenty cringey, unreadable (to me) parts where it’s just so glaring where I went too heavy-handed on the descriptiveness, where quiet moments just stretch without much meaning because I wasn’t sure exactly how to give them appropriate weight.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

Ok, I’m gonna seem so over the top here, but this one right here, from My Girl:

Not because it was some poignant piece or anything, but because this is the secret conversation, the unspoken sentiment I feel like I needed, and the type of support I needed in those middle-of-the-night hours when nothing’s really wrong, the baby is asleep, but you still don’t know how you can keep going on like this. When living “like this” is aaaaaalmost not worth it and maybe not living at all would finally allow you the reprieve and let you rest. I gave Beth the voice I couldn’t find for myself. And I gave Rio the emotional intelligence to really hear her without personalizing it. Anyway, super dramatic but definitely cathartic to write.

AO3 Wrapped

#ask games #asks #nbc good girls #ao3 wrapped 2023

[goldenavenger02]

Chapter 1: The Thing About Growing Up

Kai struggles to accept that Lloyd is now the “adult” of the monastery; and then Lloyd nearly gets captured. It takes a long time to get back to some sense of normal.

If it had felt like his heart was ripped in half the first time he watched his younger sibling start to grow up, it felt like it had been pulled out of his chest and stomped on the second time.

On one hand, he was so proud of Lloyd. It was the kind of proud that made his eyes fill with happy tears if he thought about it for too long. But on the other hand, he couldn’t help but see Lloyd as that little boy with a bowl cut and the sleeves of his gi cuffed.

With Nya, even as she grew out her hair and changed her wardrobe from reds and yellows to blues and grays, he still couldn’t help but see her as the little girl with cropped raven-black hair that he had cut himself and wearing his old hand-me-downs. 

But Nya had always been independent, insistent on not needing to be protected even to the point of becoming a Samurai when she was barely a teenager; in hindsight, maybe that was why it had been easier for Kai to let her go. 

He was still her older brother, he had practically raised her in the aftermath of their parents getting taken hostage by Acronix and Krux, so there would always be a part of him that was worried about her safety.

But he also knew that if she needed him for anything, she would come to him with zero hesitation.

Kai didn’t have that certainty with Lloyd.

He had been so angry when they first took him in, refusing to go to anyone for any reason until he got caught but back then, it was small stuff like a bad dream or the same small cuts that all of the others had gotten from training.

Lloyd had gotten better at not hiding things as he got older but every time Kai had to shake him awake from nightmares or stitch up wounds that were hidden for hours, all he could see was the little boy with cuffed sleeves and reddish brown eyes that were slowly turning bright green.

All of that had been before.

Before the merge had separated everyone, before he had taken on the responsibility of training Arin, Sora and Wyldfyre and before he had taken up his role as the Master of the Monastery of Spinjitzu.

Now it seemed like Lloyd had put up a large wall between himself and the others, just like Master Wu had done so many years ago.

Kai knew that it would take awhile to break through that wall, that it had been built up as a result of The Merge, of Lloyd being so lonely without anyone else around for years. But he could be there for him and help him with the new trainees.

Even if he had been apprehensive about Wyldfyre at first, he soon found himself teaching her the same way he had taught Lloyd and pulling her into the same tight hugs that he had given Nya in the past.

Which is probably why after training had wrapped for the day, he hadn’t hesitated to hand Wyldfyre the spare controller as he booted up the remastered edition of Lava Zombies that Arin had bought the last time they were in The Crossroads.

“Wyldfyre, you have to go above the zombies!” Kai insisted as he used the controller to guide his avatar above the fire-spitting zombies.

“But they need to be blasted!”

“This is the stealth round, you have to go undetected. Otherwise, they’ll alert all of the zombies and back you into the corner,” Kai explained as he vaulted his avatar onto a platform, “I’ve played through this whole game twice, you can’t outsmart the computer.”

“I’m smarter than some dumb computer.” Wyldfyre sneered as she continued to blast the zombies on screen, but Kai was learning to pick his battles.

‘If she wants to get stuck, that’s her decision.’ Kai decided as he heard the sliding door open behind him while he reached the end of the level.

“Ooo, Lava Zombies, haven’t seen this game in a long time,” Lloyd commented from behind the couch, “Wyldfyre, isn’t this the stealth lev-”

“I already tried to explain it, don’t bother,” Kai sighed while turning his head, only to get a good look at Lloyd’s outfit which was not his usual green gi or even his more casual clothes but a bright white robe with green and gold detailing, “oh, aren’t you looking fancy!”

He had been counting on a bright red flush to cover Lloyd’s cheeks while he scratched the back of his head nervously with a smile, a habit that had stuck since becoming the golden ninja all those years ago.

“Thanks.”

“Where’d you get it?” Wyldfyre asked, turning away from the game to hang over the side of the couch, the gold on the robe flickering in her dark red eyes so clearly that Kai could see it, “it’s so shiny.”

“I repurposed an old one, figured it needed an upgrade,” Lloyd shrugged before making eye contact with Kai, “can I have a turn or do you need to beat the final boss for a third time?”

He knew exactly what robe had been repurposed ,the circumstances in which he had worn it meant that Kai would never be able to forget what robe it was.

“Kai?”

“Sorry, zoned out for a sec, just not used to seeing you with brushed hair,” Kai lied through his teeth and expertly dodged the smack that Lloyd tried to deliver to the back of his head, “you can have my controller, but you’re not gonna be able to progress until someone,” he pointed his thumb directly at Wyldfyre who had turned back to the game and was still making the mistake of blasting the zombies, “understands the concept of stealth.”

“I’m sure I can teach her.” Lloyd insisted, snatching the controller from where Kai had abandoned it on the coffee table and waiting until Kai shifted to the middle of the couch to sit down on his left side.

“Good luck, “Master Lloyd”,” Kai said while resting his feet on the coffee table and folding his arms behind his head, “we all know I’m her favorite teacher and if I can’t do it, no one can.”

“Why are you saying his name so weird? You are a master, right?” 

“That’s complicated,” Lloyd answered as he led his avatar back down the ledge in order to guide Wyldfyre’s, “But Kai and the others used to call me “temporary Master Lloyd, in training” so it’s an improvement.”

“So you’re allowed to bully people?” Wyldfyre raised a confused eyebrow toward Kai.

“Hey, there is a big difference between teasing your little brother who is being a prick and disrespecting an entire species,” Kai retorted, “besides, I’m sure Lloyd will be a great master now that he’s not…you were seventeen, right?”

“Sixteen.”

“First Master.”

“Don’t I know it,” Lloyd’s laugh sounded hollow but Kai knew better to question it when he would only get denial in return, “just follow me, Wyldfyre, so we can get to the next level and you actually can blast the zombies.”

“Fine, but I can outsmart the computer.”

Kai didn’t comment on how she had lost three of her four lives just by continuously blasting zombies that would never stop coming, he did not want his hair to get seared off today; instead, he watched as Lloyd guided her avatar throughout the maze of platforms, stopping to show her how to double jump onto a particularly high ledge.

Wyldfyre and Lloyd made it to the portal that took them to the next level when the sliding door opened again, this time with much more urgency.

“We’ve got a problem, a big problem.” Arin’s voice was full of panic, which resulted in Lloyd handing the controller to Kai while he stood up, “Nya picked up an attack just outside of The Crossroads on the sensors, some weird wolf people or something.”

“Wolves don’t attack cities.” Wyldfyre insisted as she stood up, the game long abandoned.

“Ras is with them.”

Kai watched as Lloyd’s face went from questioning to anger; he didn’t know a lot about the disgraced leader of the Claws of Imperium, but he knew about the dragon hunting and that was enough. As they boarded The Bounty and got a full rundown from Nya, however, that was when a horrifying thought hit Kai out of nowhere.

‘Lloyd is part dragon.’

“Lloyd? Are you sure about this?” Kai asked as he stood in the doorway of their quarters.

“What do you mean?” Lloyd asked as he adjusted his armor around his green gi, no longer wearing the white robes, “it’s just Ras. Sora, Arin and I have beat this guy multiple times before.”

“Well, you benched Riyu-”

“I don’t know what those wolf people want, but after the Source Dragon said he was special, I’m airing on the side of caution. I’m sure it’ll just be a quick in and out.”

“Lloyd, you’re part dragon,” Kai finally got to the point, “maybe you should also sit this one out.”

“You can’t bench me anymore.” 

“I’m not saying it to be a jerk, or because of some stupid destiny crap,” Kai insisted, the anger in Lloyd’s voice making him cringe, “I’m saying it because I want you to be safe.”

“I am not a little kid anymore,” Lloyd huffed as he stood up straighter, “I’m the keeper of the Monastery of Spinjitzu as well as Sora’s, Arin’s and Wyldfyre’s master. I have a duty to protect them.”

He tried to walk out of the room, but Kai held his hand out so Lloyd stopped in his tracks. He couldn't just let Lloyd leave without full understanding.

“I have my own duty, as a protector of the green ninja.”

Lloyd shrugged out of Kai’s grasp and walked away.

Kai knew that he had to get down to the ground, to stop the fight before it escalated out of control but at the same time, he couldn’t get his feet to move; despite the insistent voice in his brain telling him to go, all he could focus on was the fact that Lloyd hadn’t looked back.

Every time he had stormed out before, he would yell as he left, flip him off or even just glare at him for a brief moment but now, he refused to even acknowledge him.

‘He’s an adult now, he doesn’t need you to protect him anymore.’ Kai tried to assure himself as he started to make his way to the deck while pulling his hood over his head, but that terrifying realization he had made earlier still lingered in the back of his mind.

‘Lloyd is part dragon.’ Repeated over and over in his head as he launched himself onto the ground and started to fight against the wolf warriors.

He hit his sword against one of the wolf’s claws, knocking the steel covered glove off of their hand before using spinjitzu to knock them to the ground; he would be lying if he said it didn’t remind him of fighting the Serpentine due to the ease of it.

At least until another wolf man nearly ripped out his hair, only giving him a split second to react by launching a fireball right at him.

‘Arin was right about these guys being a threat.’ 

He didn’t have eyes on anyone aside from Sora’s large mech and when his heart panged with worry about Nya and Lloyd, he shook it off while knocking yet another wolf to the ground.

‘These guys are no sweat, those two can handle themselves.’ He told himself, even though he knew it was a lie and that his internal words were doing nothing to calm his nerves.

He continued to land fireballs against the wolves, occasionally catching a second set of fireballs or blasts of water out of the corner of his eye but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything clever as he fought.

Not when the thought of ‘Lloyd’s part dragon’ continued to loom in his mind like a storm cloud.

He could see the wolves start to dwindle, the fear in their eyes that they had bitten off more than they could chew as they faced off against multiple skiller fighters; the worry in their eyes made Kai’s heart stop beating quite as fast.

Until everything went shockingly numb and his ears started to ring.

All he could focus on was four things.

A voice saying “Lord Ras says to get what we came for”. A weapon being unsheathed. The blade sliding right through armor, fabric and flesh with zero effort. Lloyd’s cry of pain.

Kai only managed to turn to see one of the wolves with their dagger buried deep inside of Lloyd’s right side before his vision went red and his hands went alight.

He made sure that every single punch, every single fireball and every single burst of spinjitzu went directly against the wolf who had hurt Lloyd; the one who had hurt his baby brother.

His chest heaved and sweat poured off of his forehead until the wolves finally retreated, his hands still alight until he could confirm that they had left with pure terror in their eyes, afraid of his wrath.

‘They should be.’ Kai couldn’t help but think as he looked directly at the blood, Lloyd’s blood, staining the ground, but at least Lloyd had been evacuated before bearing witness to his wrath.

He wiped some of the blood off of his face and onto his sleeve as he boarded The Bounty before making his way down towards the small medbay against his better judgment.

In hindsight, he should have knocked before he opened the door. Kai never wanted to see Nya having to hold Lloyd’s arms to the point of him trying to break out of her grip ever again.

“Why is he still awake?!”

“Zane’s looking for something to sedate him with,” Nya explained before turning to Lloyd after a particularly loud noise that sounded like a mix of a sob and a groan, “Lloyd, you have to stop moving.”

“S-sorry,” Lloyd apologized with a tremble in his voice, “i-it hurts.”

“I know, I know it hurts. But if you keep moving, it’ll get worse.”

As much as Kai wanted to take over for Nya and try and calm Lloyd down, his sister had him handled and it made his stomach churn to see the two of them in that state.

“How can I help?” Kai asked, pulling off his shirt so the battle stained sleeves didn’t get in the way, leaving him in his undershirt as he started to wash his hands thoroughly.

“Are you sure?” Zane asked, pulling Kai’s vision away from the sink to look into his icy blue eyes, “you’re pale.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure.” Kai insisted, drying his hands off with the paper towels and using them to turn off the sink before grabbing two of the nitrile gloves out of the box. 

He had to be sure, he couldn’t be anything else right now. Not with Lloyd choking on his attempts at deep breathing while Nya held him down.

Zane handed him the syringe that had already been filled with the sedative they had on board, as well as the pack of alcohol wipes and a band-aid, “I don’t want him to panic when I go over there, but once he’s asleep, we can get that blade out.”

“Got it,” Kai whispered, taking the syringe and sealed wipes with him to the small, metal table that sat opposite of Lloyd’s head, making sure to only look at his face and not at the blue handle sticking out of him, “Green machine.”

“A-are they okay?” Lloyd nearly pulled his right arm out of Nya’s grasp as he squinted past tears, “Arin, Sora and W-Wyldfyre?”

“Only one who’s hurt is you,” Kai assured him as he gently pulled Lloyd’s arm out of Nya’s grasp before opening the sealed alcohol wipe, “but you are gonna take a nap and get patched up, okay?”

“But-”

“This is gonna be cold,” Kai cut off Lloyd’s protest as he wiped down his bicep, “I know you’re in a lot of pain, but we’ve got you,” he stopped speaking to pick up the syringe, “take a deep breath, bud.”

Hei felt sick to his stomach as he waited for the shaky inhale before pressing the needle into Lloyd’s arm, quickly tossing the empty syringe in the small basket of medical waste before covering up the small pinprick of blood.

As soon as Lloyd went limp, however, Kai stood up and proceeded to book it to the half bath, his stomach churning violently. He didn’t even get the gloves off before he emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet.

Nya was the one who came after him, who shut the toilet lid and flushed it before helping Kai to his feet, handing him a clean cloth to wipe his lips on and a paper cup with water to rinse his mouth out.

“Are you okay?” Nya finally asked after a few beats of silence.

“No. Are you?”

“No.” She slid down to the floor, resting her head in her hands.

“Lloyd and I got into a disagreement earlier,” Kai admitted while peeling off the gloves, “I wanted to bench him.”

“He’s a bit old for that, don’t you think?”

“Not because of that. That Ras guy was in charge of hunting dragons, Lloyd is part dragon, he benched Riyu because he is a dragon.”

“Kai, what are you saying?”

Kai looked down at his hands for a few moments before finally making eye contact with his little sister, “I think the attack today was a trap for Ras to capture Lloyd. I think they know that he’s part dragon.”

#ninjago #lego ninjago #whump #angst #my writing #fic #lloyd garmadon #kai ninjago #ninjago wyldfyre #ninjago nya #medical inaccuracies #needles #team as family #rated t #chapter 1 of 4 #unfinished fic #ninjago dragons rising #dragons rising season 2 speculation

[lunacornfan2k24]

I’ve seen other fanfic writers do an AO3 wrap up and tbh I’ve been kind of embarrassed to do one myself because I was only a productive writer from May to October which isn’t even half of the year (thanks to Jedi: survivor, bg3, and everything in my authors notes) but it was also my most productive year for writing fanfic that I wanted to do something so…

Ao3 statistics don’t easily separate by year for a multi chapter fic that I started back in 2021, but I can do a rough estimate of 2023 stats and then reflect on every fic that I’ve written this year. (Edit: by the time I finish writing this we will be a week into 2024 at least)

Almyrah’s AO3 2023 Year In Review:

New fics posted: The Spy and The Actor, Phoenix the Vampire Hunter

Fics updated: The Spy and The Liar: The Movie (6x)

Word count: ~50k

Comment threads: 48

Kudos: 81+

Best comment: @agent-calivide (in Exes and Ohs, chapter 7 of The Spy and The Liar: The Movie)

I have had so much support for my writing this year thanks to the amazing I Expect You To Die fandom and the IEYTD fandom discord in particular. To be honest, you guys really make it hard to be humble with how much love is showered over my fics and I am so grateful for every kudos, comment, and bookmark I’ve received since I started the Celebrity Crush series way back in 2021 when a certain actor lived in my head rent free.

Like I said before the statistics are rough estimates and I think that the best way to celebrate all I’ve done this past year is with words more than numbers and statistics.

The Spy and The Liar: The Movie

This is probably the best fic I’ve ever written! I am so proud of how it has grown beyond ten bullet points to be the 66k story it currently is with more to come. I’ve loved weaving foreshadowing and subtext into the story that I think most people have missed.

It’s also really hard to stay humble as this is the most love I’ve ever gotten on a fic and it has somehow seemingly become the Agent Phoenix/John Juniper fic on ao3. I’ve literally dropped all my other wips for other and bigger fandoms because of how much love and support it’s gotten. Especially because of the people in the fandom discord. Maybe it’s the instant appreciation but I had never been more motivated to write than when y’all shared your love for this fic and the Celebrity Crush series in general.

The Celebrity Crush series and ieytd was the first thing that got me back into writing after going through the most traumatic and violent loss and experience of my entire life back in 2020 (wasn’t even covid related lol). Literally an entire year had passed before I could write again. To know that this story has meant as much to you guys as he has to me has been the greatest gift that could ever been given to me.

Thank you.

The Spy and The Actor

This story wasn’t really supposed to be anything. The first (and only) chapter was written on a whim in one sitting based on a conversation in the fandom discord. Just the third time I’d be rewriting the ieytd 2 with an Agent Phoenix/John Juniper twist…

But then came the comments.

For those that don’t know, the point of the fic was that it was written and published by John Juniper but to come off as a fan thirsting for John instead of John thirsting for Phoenix. At its core it was me roleplaying as John Juniper. And the discord decided to roleplay in the comments as various characters from the games and of course I had to respond in character as John Juniper!

Even when I was a teen I thought roleplay was kinda cringe. But now? I get it, like I get it! I had so much fun roleplaying as John Juniper!!! I’m usually really nice so being able to just let go and be an absolute bitch. I’m so excited to work on the next chapter but I know it’ll have to be when I’ll have time to sit down and roleplay with everyone again.

Phoenix the Vampire Hunter

This was written for Calivide for beta reading a chapter in The Spy and The Liar: The Movie. This is the first fully alternate universe fic I’ve ever written and I absolutely adore the world I’ve created. It’s a sandbox that I’d love to play in more and I’d love for others to play in the sandbox too if they ever feel like it and write their own stories of the world. The ending I have planned leaves the world open for so many possible stories for myself or anyone to explore.

And I promise that I wrote vampire!Juniper before I ever played Baldur’s Gate III and fell in love with Astarion

God this got long but these fics mean so much more to me than simple statistics can tell and I hope people can see why I chose to elaborate on everything.

With 2024 signaling the 10th year of me writing and publishing fanfiction and with last year being so productive, I’m hoping to bring all of last years productivity into the new year as long as the video game industry stops releasing so many good games (I haven’t even gotten to spider-man 2 yet lol)

#Almyrah #ao3 writer #2023 ao3 wrapped #fanfic writing #ieytd #i expect you to die #ieytd fandom #ieytd2 #john juniper

[rriavian]

ooooo this ask game has a lot of good ones. How about:

🐌 What is one of your smallest writing goals?

👾 Do you have any "bad" writing habits you want to break?

💥Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you're most excited to write? Share a snippet or tell us about it!

🐌 What is one of your smallest writing goals?

My aim is to finish a few smaller projects in the first six months of this year. I’ve got some prompts in my inbox that I’m finishing fics for (all smaller stories) and I'd like to keep to a goal of regularly filling prompts this year.

I’ve also got another Corintheus ficlet I want to finish, and Cursed is a shorter piece. So a rough goal is the get those two out for February and then do the rest in whatever time they need :)

 👾 Do you have any "bad" writing habits you want to break?

I think my bad habits are the other sides of my good habits, if that makes sense? The billions of ideas I’m always having can mean that unless I catch that wave when it happens, it feels like I’ve not done anything with that thought and just stalled instead. My own brain can quickly swamp me, and that can make me then struggle to finish. So I’m trying to pace myself better and be less stressed about ‘right now immediately’.

I also tend to write a little chaotically. Prose out of order, leaving rough sentences/ideas as place holders, but this doesn’t always work for longer projects. It can leave some tricky bits to clean up at the end. I can dip back in and be like aha! I know exactly what this needs, but it can also trip me up and stall me.

I’ve got a relatively flexible style, I’ve taken some different approaches in different fandoms and/or fics. Though Baiting the Trap and its specific tone/style was very much something I’d already practised in another series. Just not as explicit and not quite as poetic (the Corinthian’s POV naturally seems to be very lyrical, though not in the same way as Dream's). 

To keep flexibility I like to shake things up and do something completely new to keep myself from losing an edge and getting lazy. Not that I think I am a lazy writer, but I have ways to make sure I’m taking the same care and thought every time. Prompts from other people really help with this as I love considering new angles and tropes.

When something is hard/new I think we go more carefully, and are forced to be more novel, and I really really like improving my skills by doing that. It’s helped me write some of my favourite work.

💥Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you're most excited to write? Share a snippet or tell us about it!

There are two secret Corintheus fics I wrote alongside those for Corintheus week that need a last edit before posting but I’m being very quiet about what they are :) should be a nice surprise! I’m also very proud of my Corintheus ‘divorce au’ that I still need do some work on before I post. I think the one I’m most excited about is probably role reversal au because when finished it’s going to be the longest fic I’ve yet posted that’s not split into a series. It'll also be the longest fic I’ve written in years.

It’s quite ambitious, and will probably have a sequel. I’ve planned the second arc out because I had to split the original fic in two. There’s lots of threads as well as other relationship dynamics and subplots. It’s about Dream and the Corinthian of course, but also very much about how they interact with other characters. Death shows up quite a lot, but I would say that Lucienne and Gault are the other really major characters in the fic.

I’m also branching out into other parings/writing some more gen fics. And, as an honourable mention, what was intended as the last two parts of Baiting the Trap have both been written for over a year and every single day I just want to share where it’s going. Unfortunately there’s at least two more in the middle, which I’m also excited about, but when I get to it I’m going to feel so relieved. 

Oh! And the Corintheus seduction au! Goodness I’m excited about everything aren’t I? Though I guess that sums me up! Thank you so much for your questions I hope you enjoyed my answers :)

#new year writer goals ask game #rria answers #let me know if you're interested in more info #as I've mentioned quite a few fics here

[summerwritesfics]

🌎More Than A Cheeseburger

Pairing: Hanzo Hasashi/Bi-Han Length: 978 Words Rating: Mature Warnings: Modern AU, CEO!Hanzo Hasashi, Employee!Bi-Han, Teenage!Kuai Liang, Homelessness, Boss/Employee Relationship, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Past Character Death

Meanwhile In Another Universe Masterlist

Notes: Another thing I’ve had written for a while now. Admittedly I am currently working on a oneshot I really wanted to get out before I posted anything else, but it’d been frustratingly slow progress, so I’m gonna edit and post some of these smaller bits today. Starting with this one. Meanwhile In Another Universe is basically an excuse for me to write a lot of little short fics exploring AU concepts without worrying about having to make them a bigger thing. This fic actually started as a much smaller fic, but I ended up adding a bit more to it. This is based on the previous timelines so, no Tomas with the brothers in this one.

Hanzo watched as Kuai Liang wolfed down the cheeseburger, as if he hadn’t eaten in months. Given how thin and sickly he looked, Hanzo supposed that could very well be the case.

He looked back over to Bi-Han instead, the young man glaring at Hanzo rather than eating his own burger. There were so many questions he had. Why was a 20 year old living in his car with his 14 year old brother? Where were their parents? Why had no one helped them?

“I have some questions I’d like you to answer, Bi-Han,” Hanzo started, watching as his employee’s eyes narrowed at him. “But first, I’d appreciate it if you could eat something.”

Bi-Han grunted, but thankfully took a bite.

It would take more than a cheeseburger to get to the bottom of this.

Bi-Han’s behaviour had been suspicious for a while now. Hanzo had noticed him sneaking the snacks left out for all employees into his bag. Initially believing he was just being greedy, Hanzo had scolded him for it. Then Bi-Han had started doing other odd things. Taking toiletries and stationary, getting extremely defensive about his after work plans, generally being snappy and unsociable to everyone around him.

Then, that morning, Hanzo had come in early, to find Bi-Han’s car already outside. It was unusual for Bi-Han to be in at such a time, and when Hanzo finally located him within the building, he found the man with his younger brother in the toilets, washing themselves using the sinks. It was Kuai Liang who admitted that the pair were living in Bi-Han’s car, seemingly much to Bi-Han’s disdain.

He hadn’t wanted anyone to know, clearly. 

“So, how long exactly have you been homeless?” He asked and Bi-Han made a face.

“We’re not homeless,” he replied in an extremely sharp tone, narrowing his eyes at Hanzo.

“We kind of are, Bi-Han,” Kuai quietly added, flinching violently when Bi-Han turned his glare on him. That response didn’t exactly give Hanzo much hope regarding the full situation that the brothers were in.

“About a month after I started working for you,” Bi-Han admitted, turning his attention back to Hanzo. “I haven't saved up enough for an apartment yet, but I’m working on it.”

“Why didn’t you mention anything?” Hanzo glanced over to Kuai, the boy had finished his burger in record time, now licking his fingers as if he was still chasing after the nourishment. Hanzo would have brought him a second burger, but he didn’t want him accidentally eating too much and making himself ill. “If I had known, I would have been able to offer you assistance.”

“I don’t need your handouts,” Bi-Han hissed. He stared down at the burger with contempt, like the very fact he’d even accepted it disgusted him. It was at this moment he seemed to decide Kuai needed it more, passing it over to the boy who eagerly began to cram it into his face like he’d done with the previous one.

“Asking for help isn’t the same as asking for handouts.” Hanzo didn’t know how to explain that to him. Bi-Han seemed like a proud individual, accepting help was likely not easy for him. “How exactly did this happen? Your brother’s still a child, where are your parents?”

Bi-Han paused, his lips tight and straightening himself out. Kuai almost seemed to shrink at the question.

“Dead,” Bi-Han said, voice so void of emotion it made Hanzo himself falter. “Our parents are dead.” Blinking like he was breaking himself out of a haze, Bi-Han’s face suddenly got a lot angrier. “And our foster parents were shitty people.”

That was unfortunate. Hanzo had done his share of foster care, and his priority every time had been those kids. It was disgusting, how some only signed up for material gain. Those kids deserved far better, and Hanzo wished he could take in more.

“I am sorry to hear all that.” It really did put into perspective both of the brothers' reactions to this. Bi-Han’s anger and Kuai’s fear. Both were completely understandable.

“Yeah, well.” Bi-Han shrugged, acting like it was no big deal. “It’s just how it is.”

“I have a spare room,” Hanzo told him, hoping the statement would imply enough. Bi-Han just looked at him with an eyebrow raised. “You both would be welcome to stay in it for as long as you need.”

“No.” Bi-Han shook his head violently. “I already said no handouts.”

“Then you could give me some money towards expenses,” Hanzo tried. As much as Bi-Han probably wanted this to be dropped, Hanzo couldn’t, especially not when a minor was in a less than acceptable living condition. “It would be like renting, just at a reduced price.”

Bi-Han’s mouth twitched, like he was desperately trying to figure a way to turn down the offer. His eyes slowly drifted over to Kuai, who was looking at his brother with large pleading eyes. Hanzo prayed that would be enough to convince Bi-Han.

Finally Bi-Han gave a defeated sigh, closing his eyes as he said, “That… Would be appreciated, thank you.”

“Good.” Hanzo knew better than to think this momentary acceptance of help meant that he’d accept anymore, but it was progress. At the very least, it got Kuai Liang into a more stable home. The question of the boy's schooling was next, but he accepted that would be a battle for another day. “We can talk out the details later.”

Bi-Han nodded, looking somewhat dejected. His face lit up a little when he saw Kuai smiling, looking happy and excited about their new housing arrangements. Despite everything, it was clear Bi-Han priorities lay with his brother. Hopefully, that would be the key to helping them, trying to find what was best for Kuai Liang.

It was still early, but Hanzo had hope that things would get easier from here.

#mortal kombat #hanzo hasashi #scorpion #bi han #noob saibot #bihanzo #🌎meanwhile in another universe

[gasha40k]

Currently a massive heatwave in my city and it’s slowly boiling me to death in my apartment like an unaware frog, so I decided it’d be a good time to distract myself by getting some tertiary work done on some lads.

From left to right: Kardon the Eternal, Lord Akselos, and some unnamed guy with a big ass axe

Starting with the most boring stuff, my World Eaters character goon squad is all primed and ready to be painted. Once I’m done assembling this army I’m gonna paint these three guys first because they’re the coolest, by far. I’m still mad proud of Akselos’ model and I’m super excited to see how he’ll look on the tabletop when he’s all shiny and colorful.

Epic unusable Chaos model, thank you GW

Speaking of painting World Eaters, here’s a CSM Legionarie that I whipped up a while back as a color test for my World Eaters army. The whole goal with my Khorne fellas is to keep them as default as possible, so the color scheme is very simple and coherent.

On this particular mini, I wanted to maximize my usage of Mephiston Red, which is exemplified most particularly on the rocket launcher, which I’d usually paint with Abaddon Black. I think that it being red, though, gives it a sort of retro feel, which I quite like. This may be one of the better single minis I’ve made, as well. No highlights or anything, but some decent, clean coloring, and a lot of Agrax Earthshade.

I have, however, been doing some highlighting on Lieutenant Sadrian’s model. I’ve also been cleaning him up periodically, coloring over little mistakes and trying to make his model really pop. He’s almost definitely the centerpiece of my Thunderbearers army now.

Check out how regal and leaderly he looks amongst his men. What a tactician!

Sadrian is one of the few models that I haven’t repainted in Skavenblight Dinge, alongside Big Harold, the Venerable Dreadnought that I’ve had since I started the hobby. They’ve both more than earned their stripes on the tabletop, having been in nearly every game I’ve played in the last two or so years, and I figured their paint jobs were pretty serviceable, so a repaint would be unnecessary.

While Sadrian is an elite taxtician that routinely exercises unmatched intellect and complex battlefield knowledge, he is also a by-the-books, reliable warrior and a ruthless marksman, hence the simplicity of the inscription upon his trusty bolt rifle

But to make him stand out more as an HQ, I added some minor highlights to his armor, particularly on his arms and helmet. I also highlighted much of his gun and did some detailing on the purity seals and red tassels. I’m very satisfied with the inscription on his gun. It’s crazy to me that I was able to write a word that small and, uh, have it be actually legible.

Every single painted Astartes model that I own. For context I have nearly 3k points of these fuckers and only 10 finished minis

I’ve painted a good handful of Thunderbearers Intercessors since my last post. Nearly a full 10-man squad, now. Sadrian definitely stands out, and I think that, when contrasted with the leagues of men that he commands, eyes are naturally drawn to him. I’ll never get over how satisfying seeing a cohesively painted army is to my weird brain.

I am so fucking in love with this model and I do not know why, although I figure it’s got something to do with its appearance in Dawn of War

In other news, I’ve got one of these disgusting classic Daemon Princes coming in the mail. GW recently did a made-to-order run of this model, and I’ve been trying to hunt an inexpensive one down for actual months. He’ll be a staple of my WE army whenever I get my hands on him, although I am kind of terrified as painting it.

I’ve just about run out of image slots on tumblr, so I’ll post a bit more about my Crusade (and some thoughts on 10th edition) next post.

#warhammer 40k #miniatures #painting #adeptus astartes #chaos #thunderbearers #world eaters #unchained path

[oldcoyote]

so i hate the way i look, and i hate my face, and i genuinely believe it’s difficult for people to look at me without judgment or flinching unless they’re already accustomed to seeing my face. i always have, since i was very little and children used to put push-pin holes in my face in photos of me on the merit board at school when i was five years old. i learned from that that my face is awful, and people hate it, so i should hate it too

i recently talked about how all the pictures of me online are edited with photoshop and youcam so that they’re less difficult to look at, so that people don’t have to feel bad or want to laugh seeing them. i also only ever post pictures of my face or shoulders-up because i’m obese, and miserable in my body, and embarrassed by it

but i recently saw a tweet asking people to list the things they’re proudest of doing this year and realised i have done nothing all year that i’m proud of. i’ve regained weight, i’ve wasted all my days, i’ve laid around feeling sorry for myself and wishing i could get up and do the things i dream of doing. no progress made

so, with only a handful of days left in the year, i figure if i’m ever going to do something a little bit brave - it should be now. so here’s a photo of me i took in the mirror awhile ago, no edits, no face slimming app, or makeup, no cutting down to head and shoulders only, no photoshopping out the bags under my eyes. though i do wish i’d cleaned the mirror first lol

think anything you want to think, that’s your right and it’s none of my business. you can think i’m fat, i’m ugly, i’m whatever. but maybe, just for today, i’m also a little bit brave

#face warning #self hatred #self image #fatphobia #internalized fatphobia

[cyberjaiee]

(｀Δ´) ﹒ ❋﹒📦 ﹒manifestation lesson one !? ﹐✩

⠀

# WHAT THE HELL IS MANIFESTING . . . !!! 🩹 ★?!% ft. my personal manifestation back story

⠀

i was reading a post on pinterest one day and i fully realized just what it is when i’m manifesting. unfortunately, the post had no credits ( it was cropped out because ppl tend to think that’s a good idea.. ) but if u think i’m referring to your post, shoot me a dm and i’ll edit in credits !!

thankfully, i wasn’t in my law of attraction phase for long. i practiced law of attraction beliefs when i had first started shifting in 2018.

i thought i needed to take a shower, read my script, clean my room, stay happy, all of the law of attraction bullshit, in order to shift. i thought i had to do all this before attempting to shift in order for it to be a successful shift. of course, that never worked because like i said, it’s bullshit. so since it didn’t work i took a break, for a couple of years lol. i didn’t get back into shifting until 2021 when i had became unhappy with my body bc of personal experiences, so i desired change. yes, when it blew up on tiktok. i became reliant on it because i wanted to do anything i could to get away from my void ( current ) reality. i was using shifting as a desperate escape, i became obsessed. then i stopped again, because obviously it wasn’t working. then, i started hating my body again as old memories started resurfacing. they started to haunt me more and more.

in comes : subliminals.

i’ve known what subliminals were since 2017 when i started listening to subliminals to improve myself mentally, in hope my parents would be proud of the person i had become. i’m not going to get into that at all in this post so anyways-

when i started hating my body in 2021, i started listening to subliminals for a flatter chest, flatter stomach, tiny waist, abs- yk…. the things dysphoria can do to you. my desires where all over the place as i was still unsure what my gender identity was. one day, while listening to subliminals, a video was recommended to me.

in comes : hyler.

i love hyler with my entire being. without her i probably wouldn’t have found the law of assumption for a while. to this day, i still watch hyler just for fun, i love her energy and she frequently adds a new perspective with how i manifest. but anyways, hylers full explanation on what the law of assumption was, was the video that i watched. instantly, i fell in love. i loved the law of assumption and had more faith in it. since discovering, i binged all of the videos she had posted at that time was able to manifest plenty of things, but all of the ‘big’ manifestations came in ‘late’.

for a while i stopped consciously manifesting but would still watch hyler until she mentioned another youtuber and i checked her out as well.

in comes : sammy ingram.

i started watching sammy for self-concept and physical appearance related things. i liked her confidence so i listened and with this i was able to work on my self-concept a bit, but no major changes. after a while, i started wanting my ex back…. an embarrassing era tbh.

now i don’t watch sammy anymore, i personally do not like what she teaches and you’ll understand why very soon.

this is not with the intent to start drama or throw any types of shade. i’m simply stating some beliefs i had which, tbh, where both me and sammy’s fault.

now that we’re done with my goofy ass manifestation origin story, let’s get back on track. the pinterest post. sammy often preached about ( past tense bc idk what she talks abt now ) saturating your subconscious mind. she would talk about keeping a mental diet, affirming as much as you could, etc etc. and back then, i took it as truth. subliminals would talk about the same thing, saying : listen at least 30 mins a day, stick to your playlist, only listen to one topic then flush etc etc. now, i realize how untrue all of this is.

i would make subliminals with affirmations like ‘ive always had clear skin’ or ‘i already have my results’ but i would always look at it as revision affs. the truth is, i have TRULY always had clear skin. i actually do ALREADY have my results

every version of yourself from every reality you exist in is morphed into you. you are every single version of yourself that is possible. once you realize this, you’re at your highest power constantly. reality exist, the physical reality is real, just not in the way you think. its a real reality but not 'your' reality. not the one you're meant to be conscious of. you are able to shift anywhere easily and instantly, there's literally nothing that can stop you. there are infinite realities, there is a change in each reality. even the smallest changes exist in another reality. the small fact that a piece of your rug is facing another direction in this moment, is a reality in itself. everything is the same, except the fact that a piece of your rug is facing another direction, right now. any change that could possibly exist, no matter how many changes there are, it does.

when you shift realities, you are not yeeting your body into some other dimension with the possibility of being stuck, no. a shift in reality is simply a shift in consciousness. in one reality you aren’t even reading this post, in another you stopped reading a few seconds ago, but in this one, in the reality you are consciously aware of, you are still reading this. you’re constantly shifting, each moment you are shifting to a reality where you are doing what you are doing right now, thinking what you’re thinking right now, ykwim ?

ok that was a lot.. are you still with me ??

when you shift, you become aware of another reality that simultaneously exists with the one you are aware of right now. you don’t create anything, it already exists. you are simply unaware of that reality.

like i said before, you are one with every you in each reality always. you are never GETTING anything, it has always been yours. listening to subliminals, affirming, etc, it’s all just a reminder of what you already have. for example, i tell myself : ‘i have a tiny waist.’ of course i do. there is a reality where i have a super tiny waist and all i’m doing is becoming aware that it’s something i have. everything is the same, but instead, i now have a tiny waist. i'm in that reality now.

i used to think you’d have to work on your self-concept to manifest. when really, i don’t need to do anything but become aware. you don’t need to do anything but occupy the state of having your desire. you do not need to remove all your limiting beliefs, you don't need to saturate your subconscious, you don't need to go on a mental diet, you don’t have to fully believe or work on your self-concept, stop trying to be so perfect and stop abiding by these rules that never existed. trust yourself, know that everything you want is already yours. once you occupy this state, once you realize you are just shifting to a reality that you already exist in, you will realize just how easy and effortless this all truly is. when i listen to subs i’m reminding myself of what i have, same with visualizing, affirming, etc. my physical ( 3d ) reality has already conformed, i am just becoming aware of the reality where that is obvious. i’m not getting my desire, i’m reminding myself that i’ve had it for as long as i wanted.

this is why people say thinking of your desire brings it to you. it’s not an exaggeration for fast results, it’s true. the moment i desire something, i realize that there are infinite realities and infinite versions of me that already have what i desire. so, by getting into the mindset of having my desires, my reality will shift to give me my desires. i persist in the assumption that i already have what i want and instantly there is evidence of it in my physical reality. whatever i keep assuming manifests because my subconscious will find it true and will make me aware of the reality where that exists. i just change my thoughts.

in the next post i will explain what i do to manifest,, yk so that its fun and extra &lt;33

side note - when i was checking my timeline i came across these angel numbers lol, was scared as hell to post this but i am seeing this as reassurance,, if u like this pls lmk :

© @cyberjaiee - 2022

#﹒✶ jaie's lessons #manifestation #law of assumption #manifestation journey #how to manifest #affirm and persist #affirmations #loassumption #what is manifesting #neville goddard #hyler #manifestation rants #subliminals #living in the end #loa #reality shifting

[thelocalmuffin]

Welcome! 2024 Edition

Hello everyone!

I'm Ellory/Muffin, and I'm part of the Bakery system. I'm a writer and zine creator who works almost all the time, so my activity is a bit sporadic. This is a multi-fandom blog, but you'll also see memes, personal posts and political stuff here.

This isn’t a DNI post or anything like that, this is just an introduction post. So, hello! There's more about the blog and what I do in the read below.

Writing: I write quite often, so please feel free to check out my AO3. You can also check out the tag #muffin writes for more short stories/direct links to stories.

I am also trying my hand at art. You can find my artwork under #muffin draws for some of my stuff. It's still experimental but some of it is very nice.

Zine Stuff:

I mostly do zines. I like working with the schedules and having a theme to work with. My Zine Portfolio is here.

I do reblog some promotional stuff for my zine projects. I'm proud of what I’ve done and want to let people know what I've accomplished. #muffin's projects is the tags I use for the zine promos.

Other tags you might want to filter:

I know some people are here for escapism and that’s no issue with me. Just keep in mind I do tag serious topics such as ableism, transphobia, and other themes if they are discussed in the post. If you need something tagged, just let me know.

Political: This is my political tag. I like to stay updated with some political news.

Current News: Updates about world changes and news that doesn't quite fall into politics

Boycott: Things that discuss or are recommended to boycott.

Palestine: I am pro palestine and have been for more than a decade. I'll be posting about it.

Muffin speaks: When I'm just talking.

Reblog games: things I think are a reblog games/bait, but I still want to participate in.

Some stuff you might want to know about talking to me:

I do have my ask box open, but I do not respond to anon hate. It will be deleted and you will just have wasted your time. I understand criticism is necessary for growth, but sending derogatory messages won’t really get the point across.

I don’t mind DMs to talk, but please keep in mind I am very socially awkward and shy.

Oh, and my response time is very slow. As I said, I’m a busy bee.

If you want to be mutuals or friends, you are welcome to ask.

I think that's all! I figured it was time to update it since a lot of my priorities have shifted with my projects in the last year!

#muffin speaks #new pinned #intro post