#(Ramble over haha I feel like I can only say things like this on tumblr because I have no mutuals on here)

[dailynakaharachuuya]

Your warmth.

#bungo stray dogs #bungo stray dogs chuuya #bungo stray dogs dazai #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs chuuya #bungou stray dogs dazai #bsd #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #skk #soukoku #(I'm so cold) #(Our boilers been broken for the last like 5 days) #(So we've had no heating or hot taps) #(I think it's affecting my mood haha I've been feeling so grouchy and sad) #(Been watching comedy dramas with my friends and the moment theres even a somewhat sad scene even if it's goofy) #(Or something inconvient happens I feel like I'm gonna cry haha) #(Ramble over haha I feel like I can only say things like this on tumblr because I have no mutuals on here)

[fluffyhare]

((Oh shoot I was mid-ask and pushed the wrong thing and I’m not sure it sent so starting over 😅))

Anywho hello hi there I really hope you don’t mind the like spamming (and interactions in general from nsfw blogs); I just really couldn’t help myself bc I’m resonating so much with your content and tags and you seem like a genuinely lovely human with absolutely adorable artwork so I wanted to show you some appreciation 🥺💗 It immediately comes across how much you love and care for your OCs via the lore you’ve created and the utmost tender way you talk about them and the way they interact with each other ?? 😭 it’s impossible not to fall in love with them too. I also hope you’ve heard copious amount of feedback about how brilliant your writing is - so detailed, so warm, so intimate…it’s extremely flustering and endlessly endearing and I’m so grateful you share your gift with all of us on here! In particular, I’m positively fascinated with Avery’s backstory and anatomy and am loving discovering the depth of the layers of thought that you put into composing him. Excited to learn more 🥰

((((I’m also approaching my third decade of life next year and it’s always nice seeing rep for folks my age in the community who are still enjoying and exploring their relationship with this “kink”(using this term lightly bc I know everyone may not consider themselves to fall under that umbrella). I too met my partner on here, and it’s beautiful to hear that things can work out in the long run so thank you for that tidbit of reassurance 💗 sending wishes of happiness for you both!!))))

Sorry again for this long winded ramble I was just inspired and wanted to send the warm vibes I received while perusing your awesome blog back your way!!! Hope you have a lovely day 💕

-🐰

Anon... my god! 😭💙 /very positive

Crying into my tea on a Sunday morning... god, I am so touched by this, I'm just falling apart...

Let me respond to this sequentially, so I don't just get flooded with emotion (and if you've been watching how I post, you already know this is going to be long as fuck... Sorry! 🥲)

1. I am absolutely okay with NSFW blogs interacting with me, and spam interactions don't bother me at all! The only interactions I don't want are from minors and dickheads, haha. No worries on this, peach.

2. Fewer people interact with my fic than with my art, but when I tell you I treasure every single thing people say about my fic... god, there's just nothing like it. My fic is so, so close to my heart. I've been a writer much longer than I've been an artist, so I feel like I can really express myself through writing in a way I can't with art... I'm trying, but I'm not quite there yet! God, thank you so much for your kind words... I am so grateful that the warmth and love I feel when I'm writing is felt by others, too. I really try to capture the very essence of how these characters and their emotions feel in my mind and heart.

And you like the lore, too? 🥺 My long-winded rambling? My wordy expositions? God, my heart! 😭💙

3. I am so happy to know you met your partner in this community, too! I am really wishing the best for you, and yes, it absolutely can work out! My spouse and I are very different from each other, but we are still best friends after six years, and I don't see that changing any time soon.

4. I feel like this community tends to be younger, especially here on Tumblr, so it's kind of refreshing to hear from someone in the same phase of life as me. If there's anything I didn't expect, it's that I would still be exploring my feelings about tickling (and, well, intimacy as a whole) well into adulthood. It's funny how things come back around, though... I was making tickling doodles in my diary when I was just a kid, but I stopped (and, stopped drawing altogether, really) after high school. Had to work through a ton of shame, religious trauma, and just a metric fuckton of other shit, all to come right back around to doing tickling doodles again, haha! I was delighted to find that, at 30 (and with a whole lot of new experiences and context), it still makes me just as giddy now as it did then.

All of this is to say... There may be common threads throughout one's life, but we aren't really set in stone the way people think. You can absolutely discover, and rediscover, yourself and what brings you joy over and over again as you grow and have new experiences. If I can give any advice on this, it's this: Don't close yourself off. You only have this one life, so use it to experience all you can. Even if you're shy, like me... do your best to lend a kind word, an ear, or a hand as often as possible. You never know who, or what, is gonna set your soul on fire.

Anon, thank you so much for this ask... And if you ever want to chat, I'd be more than delighted. 💙

#just the sweetest fucking ask #favs #my heart #ask #🐰

[yukidragon]

Sunny Day Jack Headcanons - Alice and Ian's Breakup

I wound up going on a bit of a ramble in a thread over on twitter yesterday about the breakup between Ian and Alice. My friend @sai-of-the-7-stars suggested that I put it in a tumblr too, so here we go, with some extra thoughts and commentary. After all, once you get me going on a ramble it's hard to stop me, hahahaha.

Before I begin, I'll quickly link to some previous theories that relate to this discussion, such as why Ian cheated, a few spicy details about Alice and Ian's sex life, reasons why Alice can't bring herself to hurt Ian, her family's reactions to his cheating, and other assorted headcanons relating to the two of them and their breakup here, here, here, and here. I'm probably missing some links to relevant prior discussions, but there are so many headcanons at this point that even a search engine isn't enough to sort through them all, haha.

Disclaimer: these headcanons apply to my personal fan made continuity known as Sunshine in Hell and don't necessarily reflect the game. No doubt the actual relationship between MC and Ian is going to have a different set of nuances to it than I'm exploring in my writing. Not to mention each MC is unique and the branching paths of the game will lead to different outcomes between these two.

Also, content warning: this post will discuss a relationship turned toxic, unhealthy levels of emotional dependency, codependency, emotional manipulation, self-loathing, past traumas, religious guilt, and just unhealthy relationship dynamics in general. This is an Adults Only game and touches on mature topics after all.

With that out of the way, let's discuss how Alice tried to end her relationship with Ian before the start of Sunshine in Hell... which, as we can see in chapter 6, was less than successful.

As I've mentioned in previous posts, Ian really needs therapy. Thanks to a lifetime of abuse at the hands of his toxic mother, not to mention the bullying and isolation he received from his peers while growing up, he has a lot of issues. Really, I'd argue he probably needs therapy more than he needs a relationship right now.

Alice isn't ignorant of that fact. Her coming to the realization that a lot of their relationship revolved around her trying to help fix his issues for him was pretty much the key that led her to choosing to end things for good. As much as she wants to help Ian, as much as she loves him... she can't fix him. No one should be expected to fix anyone else's issues... especially if they've given up on the idea that they can get better.

Ian's self-confidence is... pretty miserable, to be frank. We've seen plenty of examples of it in the demo and in teasers. He depends on his partner to be the strong one. He doesn't see himself being able to handle going on without them... He sees MC as the strong one, and he pretty much is so used to being torn down that he tears himself down preemptively, constantly feeling the need to apologize.

Alice did try to help Ian with his confidence. Since the first day they met, she has been there for him, supported him, cared for him deeply... and eventually loved him more than anyone else. She defended him from bullies, held him whenever he cried, reassured him that he's better than what everyone else has said, listened to him vent, and accepted every apology he's given her regardless if he actually made a mistake or not.

She accepted his apologies even if he didn't actually understand what he did wrong.

There were good moments between them, but Ian kept needing Alice's support. He couldn't handle standing on his own. He depended on her to the point that it was crushing. Things would have been more balanced between them if he shouldered some of the weight of her problems as well, but he couldn't handle them. He was convinced he couldn't. He wasn't strong like her.

Ian was supportive, but it was a far more fragile support, one that crumbled so very easily as the pressure overwhelmed him.

Alice is the oldest child in a large and loving family. She's been the responsible child, helping with all the younger siblings. She coped with being sick with something incurable, and never let the bullies see her cry. She stood up to Ian's mother directly for his sake, something that he could never bring himself to do. She always seemed so much larger than life to him even though they were the same age. She always seemed better than him, at least in his eyes.

Ian couldn't understand why Alice struggled with self-confidence issues. Maybe it was his fault? If it was, he's sorry. He thinks she's beautiful and other people are weird. He doesn't like them like he likes her. If she's feeling bad, then it must be his fault, and he's so sorry...

Essentially, Ian was so ready to take the blame for everything... including his partner's own problems. This left Alice needing to reassure him on top of handle her own issues.

So it was just easier for Alice not to talk about issues with Ian. She just dismissed her problems as something she could handle. She can deal with it. She's oldest in her house. She's mature. She's smart. Heck, she was gifted in school. Gifted kid burnout what's that?

Ian doesn't have support like Alice does. His family doesn't love him. His only family abuses him. He needs her. He needs her understanding. He doesn't mean to hurt her. Heck, he's feeling bad because she's feeling bad. How can that be toxic behavior?

That's why it took Alice so long to accept that what she and Ian had wasn't a healthy relationship. She was supporting the emotional weight for both of them, and Ian thought that supporting her financially would balance that scale... though he didn't think he could make it on his own.

The signs were there even before Ian left for his prestigious school. The long distance relationship made their problems worse, since Ian didn't have Alice to support him in the way he was used to. There were scheduling problems and suddenly he had all these friends that were demanding his time. He had connections he needed to forge, a chance at actually making it in the future... and he got a taste of popularity for the first time. He got to see that other people weren't as weird or off-putting as he convinced himself they were...

Supporting Ian over phone calls and messaging aps was harder for Alice to do than in person. She couldn't hold him while he cried. She struggled for words sometimes, as verbal conversations are her weak point. Texting was easier in that regard, but that was so impersonal to Ian. He needed to hear her voice and see her face.

Whenever Ian had a problem, he brought it to Alice, asking her what he should do. Over time he leaned on her advice more as they grew. He depended on her when they were living together and even after moving he needed her help... though there were things he would keep secret from her for fear that she wouldn't understand. After all, he felt so much shame towards himself and his desires...

The cheating was the breaking point for the two of them, but even then that wasn't the end right away. Despite Alice being hospitalized for alcohol poisoning and accidentally injuring herself after finding out... she wanted to forgive Ian. He was sorry. She knew that was sorry. She knew him better than anyone. She believed his story that it just happened... that he just got swept up by the other person's charms and lost control of himself.

After all, Ian had a history of losing control of himself when it came to sex.

There were couples that did come back from cheating. It wasn't impossible, and Alice didn't want the relationship to be over. She wanted so badly to believe that it was just another mistake made by Ian. Poor, clumsy, apologetic Ian... the only one who could ever love or desire her...

But this wasn't healthy. Their relationship after this while trying to repair things was so much worse. Alice couldn't even handle kissing Ian, and the guilt struck him each time she asked for more time before she could handle physical intimacy with him again. Before, she could power through even being choked or rough sex despite hating it, but now...

It felt wrong. His "I love you" and all those promises that she was the only one for him felt like lies. Ian still spent time with those friends of his who crossed boundaries, not even completely cutting off the person he cheated with. He couldn't due to the connections he was forming to further his career. He was just starting out, and those connections would make or break everything. He had to smile for the camera and socialize. He had to become successful.

It was the only way to make his cheating worth it at that point. It was the only way Ian could see repairing what he had broken.

It was hellish for both of them. Alice eventually was forced to realize that this wasn't what a relationship was supposed to look like - romantic or otherwise. With the help of her friends like Shaun and some of her family, she was able to accept that there really was no coming back from this.

Their relationship had been sick for a long time, and the cheating was the final blow that killed it. Nothing good would come from trying to force its corpse to keep moving even as it continued to rot.

Really, what helped Alice manage the strength to end things was knowing that this was damaging Ian as well. She was so used to just accepting her own pain for his sake that it really was what was needed to make her see that this self-sacrifice wasn't good for either of them.

Alice realized that she wasn't Ian's support like she always thought she was - she was his enabler. She let him use her in order to feel better, more like a bandage over his issues than a person. She had become more like a narcotic he depended on to hobble through the day rather than taking real steps to get better.

So, when Alice decided that it had to end, she wrote down everything she wanted to say. It was the only way she would be able to force him to see the truth like she did. She wanted Ian to get help, go to therapy, explore what he really wanted out of life... without her. Without considering her at all in the future. He had to be independent of her... and she needed to be independent of him.

The relationship was too toxic. The trust was gone. It was best for both of them if they went their separate ways.

Love isn't supposed to hurt this badly.

Ian, of course, couldn't accept this. Alice couldn't even read out the entire speech she wrote down before he was on his knees in tears, begging her not to give up on him, on them... to not throw him away like everyone else. He made mistakes, but he'll do better. He's so sorry! He loves her!

Ian always had a way of knowing how to make Alice want to protect him.

It's hard ending things with someone you love, even if you know it's what's best for the both of you.

Try as she might, Alice couldn't be harsh on Ian. She couldn't yell and scream or smash things... she felt so bad for him. She still loved him so, so much... wanted the world for him... and that love was stifling his growth... and slowly killing her.

The best Alice could do was a compromise. A break. They would be broken up "for now." They needed to give each other space if there was any hope of them reconciling in the future.

It was the biggest lie Alice ever told Ian, and he was desperate enough to believe it.

To Alice there is no chance. It hurts too much. That's why she left their shared apartment, left behind anything she could afford to that had too many memories attached to Ian. Anything she couldn't, she has to try and work through her own issues with in her new place.

She didn't tell him where she moved.

To Ian, this is just a break. That's all it is. This is just like if one of them went off to camp for a week before they got cell phones and couldn't make contact. They'll get back together. He just has to fix things. He has to make what he did worth it. He has to get them the house they always dreamed off in the place they always wanted to raise kids in... plenty of money to take care of them both where Alice never has to worry about anything ever again, not even him cheating...

But Ian knows they're on the brink. Alice doesn't call him or send him messages, and that's terrifying. He did give her some time at first. Maybe a week or two... but she wasn't posting on her social medias. He didn't know what she was up to. Was she eating or taking care of herself? She skipped meals sometimes. She overworked herself so much. She hurt herself badly before without him. What if she was in the hospital again? Who would tell him?

So Ian stalks Alice on her socials. He contacts anyone who knows her and is still willing to try and mediate things between them, like Coraline and a couple mutual friends. He sends her voice mails and messages so she won't forget him, making sure she knows he's sorry and that he'll fix things.

Ian is willing to apologize every day for the rest of his life if it'll fix things.

Alice never answers him, and that only makes him more desperate to hear from her. It's what leads him to leaving so many voice mails. He's not blocked, and he knows she didn't change her number since he still hears her sweet voice asking callers to leave a message... but she never gets back to him.

Ian makes posts about stuff she would like on his socials, hoping to spark conversations, trying to provoke a response, but they don't. Sometimes he tags her with things he knows she likes. He knows he's not blocked so she must see them. He tagged them properly!

They know each other better than anyone, right? Ian knows more about Alice than even her family knows. Even when things ended, he knew she loves him, even if he couldn't understand why she would insist on taking a break despite them loving each other...

They'll get over this. They have to. They've come back from other rough patches. They still love each other. It's just a break. Alice said so herself. Eventually... as long as Ian just tries harder to fix things... things will be okay between them in the end... right?

Every message from Ian is hell to Alice. Every tear he sheds because of her is like acid on her skin. She wants to scream at him to just stop since it hurts so much... but she can't because she knows he's hurting too.

Alice ended things. She had to be strong for both of them. She always had to be the strong one. The only way things would get better is if she stays strong and never says a word to Ian again. Eventually... he'll figure out that he doesn't need her... that he shouldn't need her like he convinced himself does.

The sad thing is that Ian is aware that Alice still cares. If she didn't, she would have blocked him. She wouldn't let his messages get through. He doesn't know if she's listening to his messages, but he still sends them with the hope that she is, that something he says somehow makes things right.

Ian, unfortunately, isn't self-aware of how manipulative he's being. It hasn't really clicked that this is far beyond Alice being hurt by him cheating or upset by him "not measuring up as a partner" as he believes it to be. He's not seeing his toxic traits and wasn't really listening when Alice tried to tell him what the real problems were in that final speech when they broke up.

Ian knows he's a crappy partner. He knows he's all these awful things people said he was that Alice used to reassure him that he wasn't. This just proves it. He just has to make everything worth it in the end, give her things she needs that can make her feel proud of having a successful partner like him, someone actually worthy of being partners with someone so kind and giving...

This is why Ian needs therapy so badly. He's focusing on the wrong issues without really understanding what he's really doing to Alice that's so damaging. He is the pitiful victim, substandard and pathetic, needing someone stronger than him to love him despite his flaws.

Ian was focusing so much on what's wrong with him and what he thinks he needs to improve that he doesn't realize how much he's taking from Alice... and he doesn't really listen to what he needed to give in return in order for them to be equal as partners.

All relationships are about give and take from both sides. Unfortunately, Alice kept giving and Ian kept taking.

Apologies aren't enough when a person keeps making the same mistakes over and over again. Eventually even, "I'm sorry," can be repeated until the words become utterly meaningless.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur

#Sunny Day Jack #Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack #SunnyDayJack #sdj #swwsdj #Headcanon Ramblings #Ask

[gigglegoobers]

Hey guys, I really adore your Lackadaisy OCs! Is there any story about all of them, or do you have plans to write/draw it in the future? If yes, I'm really looking forward to read it!

(pls share a link if it is not on tumblr, thanks in advance :3)

rudnitskaia, we love you. seriously. and thank you so much!! 🫂💞💞💞

there is a story! well, more like the skeleton of a story 😭😭 iza and i have been conjuring up an entire plot for these lacka-ocs ever since they were conceived. we're not entirely sure if we should write fanfiction for them or just stick to making art, but we intend to get as much as we can out! (worms... worms in the brain!!)

for the sake of our sanity; the plot of 'guns n' roses' is as follows:

bob is part of a family that is deeply associated with the gangster life. he, along with his two brothers, manuel and eduardo (alias; las tres balas), work for the marigold gang. needless to say, they get their hands dirty on the daily. on one particular evening, bob meets maria at a dinner party that he's not even supposed to be at and instantly becomes infatuated with her. maria, feeling strangled by her own responsibilities as a fiance-to-be and the ridiculously high expectations placed on her, opts to develop a relationship with him despite her not necessarily having feelings for him at first. she's not aware that bob is living a double life, and bob wishes to keep it that way, thinking that he can be able to balance both pretty well.

lmao, he can't.

he's directly disobeyed eduardo's rule on not getting seriously involved with someone else, and things only get worse by the day. there comes a time where bob ends up screwing things over for him and his family, albeit unintentionally. an entire domino effect of events has him fearing for his and his loved ones' lives, and he begins to heavily reconsider his actions and being up to that point.

things get loud in st. louis. bob is a wanted man, and people think he's conspiring against the law. eduardo isn't acting rationally anymore--not like how he used to. manuel? well... let's gloss over that one for now. his relationship with maria? dreadfully jeopardized.

this doesn't even begin to cover all that happens in guns n' roses; there's still so many characters whom we've omitted to mention that are rather integral to it all, but we reckon this is a good place to start. a lot of self discovery, topics of autonomy and introspection, a dash of broken brotherhood, romance, with just a hint of generational trauma in this one✌️

if you've made it this far, again, we thank you so much for your interest in our ocs and for giving us the opportunity to ramble on-and-on about them, haha! it means a lot.🙇💕💕💕🙇💕💕💕

#we <3 u rudni #lackadaisy oc #guns n' roses #asks! #this is all for if we decide to take it seriously LOLOL

[samwise1548]

:o i am Looking (pun absolutely intentional)

THERES SO MANY COOL DETAILS IN THE BACKGROUND

YESS!!! Thank you Tumblr people for letting me rant about my own art for a bit.

I have to go to the city today which is about an hours away. Let's hope I can get through everything I wanna say before then :)) Already gonna say, this'll be a long post so I'll put it all under a cut.

For context, this is the piece I'll be talking about. It's a redraw of an older piece I did for The Magnus Archives podcast.

Ok so, where to start... I suppose just with setting up all the details in the background? That took ages!! Imagine having to cram 14 fears into one small box, where only 2/3rds of it are visible? I excluded the Extinction for my own benefit, and the Eye and Web were covered by the giant eye at the top and the webbing at the bottom of the piece. So only 12 fears, but still that was a real struggle haha. I'm glad I was able to do it tho. Here's some of the drafts I did:

[ID: Six similar rough drawings of Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood embracing as the cry while a giant eye looms above them. The artwork is rough as they are simply to lay out the design of the piece. A blue watermark of the artists signature is slightly visible above the pieces. \End ID]

I knew I wanted the Vast to be on top, because, well obviously. It's the Vast! And likewise, for the Buried to be on the bottom. But everything else was kinda mixed in wherever I had space. My favorite mini domain is the Strangers carousel!! I'm also particularly proud of the Slaughters war trenches below it.

Moving on, I wanna talk about the coloring now!! BOY HOWDY, DID THAT GIVE ME STRESS!!! For reference, here's some of the variations I made while trying to find the perfect colors:

[ID: sixteen variations of the same drawing, now with finished lineart. Each variation is colored differently than the next. The artists signature is watermarked over the drawings . \End ID]

GOING IN ORDER!!! first one is obviously not colored. That's just the lineart with a random color as the bg. Second and third ones I discredited cuz it didn't fit tma vibes. The fifth one is one I kinda still do like. The only problem with that one was that Jon and Martin were a bit too dark for my liking. The gold frames one next to that is one of my favorite ones. I color picked from the Mona Lisa for that one. I do like the gold frame but again, jmart didn't fit the vibe. The next few are random variations with slightly different color palettes and values.

What I ended up settling for in my final piece is honestly so beautiful in a symbolic way to me. The fear domains inside the frame were done in colors from the original piece from 2021. Kind of like an homage to my past self. Like I'm giving my past self credit for making a good drawing by including actual elements from that directly into this revamped version. I was so happy when I figured that out. It's especially lovely considering that I was struggling so much with coloring this whole thing. But looking back at the old piece made me realize that I just had to go back to my roots. I'm learning from a me that I no longer am and I feel so happy for that!

With that, thank you for letting me ramble about this drawing. It may not have came out perfect like I'd hoped, but I did make something I can be proud of while still honoring the original. And I'm happy with it :)

#no bodys gonna see this but i just needed to talk about it #i am really happy with how it turned out #and i feel like ive improved a lot since i first started drawing #thank you to the tma fandom for that haha #my thoughts #ask box #my art #long post

[semiweirdshipper]

haha, I know I should be writing this somewhere in like a more personal account or something but I don't have any at the moment but I'm just here to say how much I love your work.

Something about how you write the characters feel realistic in such ways, reader isn't portrayed as anyone strong or badass but usually just a simple person who went through hardships and honestly I don't see that alot! It feels different in a way when I read them (in a good way!!!), and it convinced me to write some ocs of mine like that also. The way you write hurt/comfort is exactly how I wanted it to be and honestly I see myself crying in some chapters then smile at the fluff parts like an idiot. It hits hard honestly! And it makes it better that almost all of them aren't sexual content as a fellow demisexual myself.

You've been a big inspiration to me in terms of writing. And everyday I can't seem to not take atleast a little glance to both your ao3 and tumblr account for updates; every update you make, makes me swing my feet in excitement like a little kid honestly.

I honestly also don't read book repeatedly since it feels weird to read it again when I already know what was happening but your books are always so descriptive that sometimes I still get surprised over little details you put in the story and some days, I see myself coming back to your books again, unfinished or not.

I've been meaningly want to send you an ask just filled with my thoughts and feelings about your work but I could never find the right words for it. But now I have, and I want to say that your works were one of the only things I've read when I was going through a hard time, where I felt like shit overall but your works always give me some sort of warmth in a way and I don't why I could relate with it so much.

tl;dr? Your works are amazing and it will never not stop putting a smile on my face:)

I honestly don't know what I'm saying anymore, pretty sure I just repeated some shit up, I'm just rambling at this point HAHAHA I hope you don't mind!! I just love your work so much, never give up on writing! You do great at what you do!!

Hi @ii4tokyo! Thank you so much for sharing your appreciation and feelings. It makes me so happy to know that my stories bring you joy.

You know this entire journey has been so bizarre to me. As someone who has bad people in their life, I always used to wish that those bad people would magically turn good, do better and just be loving and supportive. So when I saw my first slasher movie a few years ago, I felt hope. Hope because I realized that I could make that wish come true- granted fictional but it was still nice and comforting.

I took the slashers and I turned them into supporters. I never suspected that my work would become this important or meaningful to anyone, but it has. And while I don't feel like I truly belong in the slasher fandom, I do feel less alone knowing that there are people who've gone through similar experiences as me and have felt the same way that I've felt.

And now all I want is for my slasher account to be a safe place where all kinds of viewers can feel a sense of comfort, security and support. I understand pain deeply, and I know how I would want someone to respond to that pain, so I write it out with fictional characters. It's nice to know that the process that comforts me, comforts others.

Again, thank you so much for stopping by. I hope you're doing well ❤️ Hopefully soon I can provide you and many others with more emotional support slashers.

#answered #slashers

[thepatchycat]

Hi, I’m a real new shiny here (on Tumblr, but also at drawing), and it’s the first time I ask anything, so I hope it’s ok. I must say first that I love the way you draw TCW characters (especially the clones)! 😍 I just came across this sketch you made on canvas (if I remember correctly) https://www.tumblr.com/thepatchycat/729224397978828800 and I was wondering, if you don’t mind sharing, how do you get the perfect white background on non-digital drawings? I currently use a scanner app on my sketches and the results are always inconsistent and far from that white… thanks a lot in advance!! 😊

Welcome to the Tumblr crew, shiny! ;) And thank you kindly!

So my dirty secret for that sketch is... it actually is completely digital! I drew it in a program called Rebelle 5, which is designed to mimic traditional canvas/paper and pencils/paints. I picked it up for super cheap during a huge sale last year, and it's a lot of fun; unfortunately, it's usually pretty expensive, as many art programs are. I highly recommend keeping an eye out for sales though if you ever get into digital drawing--and if you'd like a free program, the one I use most of the time is MediBang. But those programs are really mostly helpful for digital art, not so much for scanning actual pencil sketches.

While I tend to stick to digital drawing nowadays, I definitely feel you on the scan cleanliness issue; phone pictures and even proper printer scans tend to end up either kind of dirty or faded. The short answer is that I don't actually have an easy and effective solution, but there might be some things you can try depending on what you have available. I wouldn't be surprised if you've already explored more methods than I have, and there are definitely people with better ideas and more experience than me, but I'll share what I've tried.

Long(er)-winded rambling under the cut!

So, I currently have an unfinished piece sitting in my files that began as a traditional drawing, one that I want to keep all the pencil details for. Here's the sketchbook page, scanned using a household printer:

Not terrible, but it'd be nice to have clearer contrast between the lines and the background. In MediBang, I can adjust the contrast by going to Filter>Levels (or Ctrl+L), which gives me a little box that looks like this:

I don't technically know the nitty gritty of how it works, but by my understanding, the outer triangles for the input and output indicate the range boundaries. Adjusting the input--particularly the darker boundary--so that the output boundary exceeds it basically tells the program to make the darker parts even darker, resulting in this:

Better! As you can see, though, the darker parts of the background also show up a bit more. Rather than relying only on contrast adjustments, what I actually ended up doing was carefully erasing the background around the drawing after adding a plain white layer underneath, and also going over some of the lines digitally. I did this first in MediBang (the only art program I had when I started working on it), then transferred the file over to Rebelle.

MediBang (left) has the pure white background, while the Rebelle (right) canvas settings I chose are a little off-white and more textured, which I think blends a bit better with the texture and shading of the image. It's possible to add textures and the like in MediBang, too, but Rebelle has it built into its design, so it's a little easier to figure out there; I'll likely finish this piece in Rebelle (whenever I get back to doing so, haha), since the canvas and brush settings will be easier to match to the texture of everything that came directly from the drawing.

Most of this is much easier to do with a drawing tablet/pen, unless you're a wizard with a mouse. As for traditional means... the best suggestion I can come up with is to try inking sketches, or at least darkening them further with a pencil. The more contrast you can get between your lines and the background, the more easily you can digitally tease that contrast out even further. I think most photo editors have at least some contrast, color, and brightness adjusters, and probably more useful functions I don't even know about--it never hurts to mess around with any program's filters and settings to see what happens!

Good luck, and happy drawing! :D

#Patchy Babbles #Asks #I love getting asks so it's more than okay! #Sorry the answer is basically that that sketch is a lie haha #Someone on the internet has probably figured out more effective tricks but that someone is not me #Also your art looks super good! #You have a great eye for detail~

[everybodyshusband]

That was the post I was thinking of!!! Definitely a tw for ed and sh. I read it after the sh-ing and like, idk, I feel like they fit together. But like, now that you say that, I can't unsee how mean they would be to each other but only in regards to food/weight. Just a "Are you really going to eat all of that? After everything you ate at dinner too?" From Phantom, knowing he basically force fed Dew but it makes him feel better about his own hunger. At the end of a stressful night though and they're sh-ing in one of their bathrooms (bc it's easier to clean up the tile) Rain doesn't get the appeal of skipping meals and counting c@l so he just sits there and Phantom and Dew trace over each other's visible bones, praising the other for once instead of being mean before they go back to cutting themselves.

Sorry for rambling but I need to tell someone these thoughts

dearest anon, never apologise for rambling. i adore every single word of this so much (and i quite literally have not stopped thinking about that first ask since you sent it, it's sending my brain into headcanon overdrive, haha !!)

under the cut for ghoulish discussions of self harm and eating disorders

there's such a stark difference between the way they treat each other regarding self harm vs. eating disorders. i think it'd be similar to the way the culture of each tends to be presented, at least here on tumblr ? like uhhhh, dew and rain will encourage phantom to cut as deep as he can because they both know that that is what phantom wants, but they'll also teach him how to clean his wounds properly so they don't get infected, how to tie off bandages without a bandage clip, how to deal with the pain that comes after cutting his skin open or burning himself or the ache in his knuckles after he punched a wall too hard for it to only be out of anger.

whereas with disordered eating it's an entirely different headspace, you know ? instead of being kind and encouraging like he is when phantom self harms, dew will come up to him and tell him to his face that "if i ever want to stop being skinny, i'll look to you for inspiration" and then phantom eventually starts mimicking that taunting as well. periodically listing every single thing that dew has eaten that day to send him spiralling. i also think, like you said, that rain would be weirdly immune to dew and phantom's eating habits and encouragements to eat less. they just sit there quietly observing while dew and phantom praise each other for how well they've both been doing skipping all those meals, vomiting all that food up, how much their efforts have paid off, etc.

i'm sure there's more i could say but i do not have time right now so this will have to do !! i just think the shifted dynamic between the cultures of self harm and eating disorders are... fascinating ? (as horrific as that sounds, i know. but to me, the difference between how people treat each other in either sphere are genuinely fascinating to me) and i think it would definitely be the cause of some interesting dynamics between dew and phantom (and even rain, despite how removed they are from the disordered eating aspect of it).

#emeto tw #seriously though the difference between the two communities ??? ESPECIALLY on tumblr ??? #like the difference in how people treat each other depending on whether a post is centred on sh or eds is so stark it baffles me #aeon ghoul #phantom ghoul #dewdrop ghoul #rain ghoul #husband headcanons #nameless ghoul headcannons #tw self harm #tw eating disorder

[tea-of-destiny]

So... why the new blog?

To be honest, I don't actually know. I don't know why I deleted the old blogs.

Like, I know on the night I deleted my Tumblr and AO3 accounts, I was not feeling very much like myself at all, and I was overcome with this strong impulse to abandon everything and completely disappear. I just... never expected I'd actually follow through on it. I spent 7 years on @/baceoonist, and 3 years on the original @/teaofdestiny blog and AO3. Sure, sunk cost fallacy, et cetera, but I never considered myself someone who could just throw that kind of work away.

I do regret doing it. Especially orphaning all my fics. A blog really is just a blog in the end, and that's easy enough to redo over time, particularly since I see now how many of you feel genuine connections with me and missed me while I was gone. (It was ultimately only a few days, and I probably needed the time away, but I'm sorry for making some of you worry ^^")

But orphaning my fics and deleting my AO3 account is like... I put a lot of myself into some of those stories, and I can still prove that I originally wrote most of them, but the way things have turned out, I can never truly say that they're mine again because they belong to the community now. And that does hurt in some sense.

(It also complicates things for The Specter and the Strawman because I was going to continue that story. I'm positive there's a way it can be done, but approaching it so that it doesn't cause confusion or anything of the sort for other people is still something I have to navigate in the future. And then I can't help but think, "Well, if I'd just left everything alone, I wouldn't have to put it all back together like this now.")

If there's any good news here, I guess it's that I have an opportunity to make things different now. One big change I think needs to happen, at least in the beginning, is engaging with politics and activism less on here. Escapism in excess is obviously not great, so I'll still try to keep aware of things that are happening in the real world, maybe more through other means like actual news sites. But hearing how much the world sucks in excess is also not great, and I know it contributes to me feeling really down on myself and getting these reckless impulses.

That's part of why Tea of Destiny is my main blog now: I want to focus on me and my needs and interests more, and worry about Everything a little less.

If I ever decide to do more political posting, I'll probably make another side blog for that. Maybe I'll call it Baceoonist again. Or maybe that would be confusing for me. Idk. One step at a time.

This all turned out more rambly and less explain-y than I intended, but thank you if you read to the end. Making a new blog is not an ideal situation - especially since Tumblr staff seems dead-set recently on disrupting the user experience - but I'm just trying to make the best of it.

We'll be back to your usual post content soon haha.

#teaposts #not fandom #did i need to write this post? no i guess not. maybe no one will read it #but i do value honesty and i think it will at least put me more at ease to have said these things #the next step after this is probably starting to reblog some of my old 'teaposts' over here #so in case that blog goes down for real i'll have all that art and stuff preserved

[rosesakura]

Hi! I’m here for the questions for fic writers :)

How about!!! 2, 3, 5, 9, 10, 13, 14. I know this is ridiculous and a lot so feel free to pick and choose!! I’m just very curious and passionate about your writing. Sending hugs and lots of love <3

I literally forgot all about this ask omg!! Okay woo let's gooooo. Under the cut because, you know, it's me.

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Unequal social status. The whole Princess and the Pauper thing I kinda vibe with. It depends a lot on the characters I'm working with tbh -- some tropes fit some fandoms better than others. But in terms of hq, definitely this trope!

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

Love triangles, particularly like if it’s the Main Plot. I have been scarred from the 2010s where every teen piece of media had a fuckin love triangle like bitch I am OVER IT. Plus it’s like, someone always gets their heart broken and I don’t like that. I actually could go on and on about this but I won't make you read an essay haha

5. Share one of your strengths.

I actually hate you for always making me reflect on my work -.- I have no idea what my strengths are… I guess I’m good at idea generating lmfao I always have a million ideas?

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?

Haaaaands down the stars are already dead. Not only because it’s such a heavy topic and I’m so worried about how I handle it, but also because it’s shifted away from romance, which I’m more comfortable writing, into a study on grief, which is much more complex. 

10. Which fic has been the easiest to write?

Oop I’m gonna mention 2. Unravel was relatively easy because I had so many scenes and specific ideas I wanted to write out. I planned it out pretty okay and had so many details in brainstorming that I could draw from if I was stuck. Though my one story, Something Safe was written in less than a day when I was at work. I had so many feelings about those characters and the video game that it just flowed right onto the page.

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Show emotions; Tell feelings. Came across this on a tumblr post on pinterest. I mostly use it as a reminder to ensure I don’t ramble too much with descriptions or get carried away and to remind myself to focus on the emotions of the characters, because that’s usually the most important part to me. It's really more of a guideline.

14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Don’t use adverbs. You can pry adverbs from my cold dead hands. I actually dislike writing advice that so specifically says Do Not Do. It makes me immediately feel bad if I see something on the list that I do when I write and I think writing is so specific and personal to each writer that advice like that just isn't that helpful.

#I Love Julie #this is my new tag #thanks for the ask <3 #asks answered #cat talks too much

[starsfreckled]

lil rant in coming . kinda prompted by the event . talking about gender & the fandom & ..basically a big ramble.

the story message is so darn cute. i love that amaya can tell young people that a form of love is self love & being true to oneself & your preferences. because amaya wasn't always out as NB. in 'my verse / my none tumblr wol verse / twt verse??' they came out during shb.

cause not all queer stories start with a teen figuring this out. some people are older. but people constantly shame older queer for coming out late... personally I wanted amaya's story to be one where, when they learn to forgive themself, to be themself, they also truly stand to themself. & for them, that journey takes up to shb. that journey takes them until they are 30. ( I am a not fully out yet NB person myself & I may never really come out irl because of how german works as a language & wanting to avoid troubles ).

& dunno. the fandom sometimes does not make it easy. like i know i started writing amaya as a woman but ya know. self discovery yadda yadda. I do write amaya as sb who has been living as NB since their younger years bcs I do not trust people to be able to realize why amaya may use she/her pre-shb & then they/them.

but the amount of times ppl go "well you know amaya is still kinda a she" why. cause they have a bigger chest? cause sometimes they wear a dress? cause they do not fit a stereotype of how all NB people must be androgynous? I am sorry they do not fit into this media & fandom pushed idea of how NB people must be. People really want NB people to be like a third gender when this is exactly what we are not. Legit some people still misgender amaya in asks or while talking to me. same with aze.m/asthelios.

& also ofc the eternal dispute of "amaya appears straight" cause some of their ship are with men. sorry to say, but part of it is.... if we talk about xiv canon women, as much as i love them - they all tend to fall under a same-ish archertype. we have way more diverse masc presenting characters where it is clear the devs put more love & care into them.

moen & ysayl.e were killed off for no good reason. shtola never got the same kinda development the male scions got ( nah imma say it, if shtola had been a guy the whole lifestream thing & aether sight would have had its own arc. alas it is 'haha funny we nearly saw her naked'). the moment the devs remembered minf.ilia is a really interesting character they got so scared they yeeted her off for over an expac only to have her be dead once we reunite. yotsu.yu died too. i really like zero but i am trying so hard to not be too attached bcs the game slapped she/her on 'em so all i see is a deathflag.

i am sorry then that people feel more inclined to ship their characters with the guys then. the saving grace in all of this are the rper here tbh who grab these characters & give them so much more life ( just as an example, @astherea 's shtola is just brilliant )

just no. amaya is not a straight cis woman. amaya is a deeply queer character & just 'cause they do not follow certain expectations does not mean people got the right to insist they are not queer. & I think part of it is the fandoms general stance towards femme writers & femme ocs. people see a chest & go "oh woman. probs only want to ship" when that just ain't the case... &...like. even if. why do people act like they are personally attacked by that???

i don't have a real conclusion tbh i dunno why the event made me think of all that but it just kinda got me to ramble about this even tho this is 80% incoherent screeching at nothing.

#❝ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵐᵃᵏᵉ ᵗʰᵉᵐ ˢʰᵘᵗ ᵘᵖ ! ❞╱ ooc post . #rant cw #irrelevant cw

[shrunkupthejams]

hello tumblr, good timezone! a little life update (which was written at 2am? and gets very rambly and long but *shrugs* i tried to break up the walls of text a bit):

1. did i disappear? yes. will i elaborate on that? not really, i don't feel like it. but i will say that once you take a break from social media it is really hard to go back. it's very freeing, and that made me worried about how tumblr would take over the little free time i have if i came back. also hyperfixations are a lot harder to not hyperfixate on when i frequently spend time on here. overall, idk how long i was gone for, but it was a very good, much needed break that was probably great for my brain.

2. idk if i'm back back yet. we shall see. again productivity is doing much better without any tumblr in my system, as much as i do love spending time here.

3. i have read some very inspiring fics lately and am having many writing thoughts! which is great bc i really fell into a slump that i haven't been able to get out of this year like... back in may, or whatever. unfortunately, i have no time between catching up on missing school work from being sick, my job, and fucking moving. so.

4. not very tumblr relevant, but oh my god im fucking moving. again. story of my life basically. it's. fine. just happened really fast and it's weird to process. im officially in moving limbo for the next two weeks. and that sucks. but it's ultimately good for my system, i think, because i was getting restless waiting for the usual regularly scheduled "big change" in my life, and that quota is now being filled and it's relieving.

5. dear lord i don't even want to look in my notifications.. if anyone tagged me in stuff while i was out... im so sorry but it's likely lost in the pile. avoiding my problems on social media is like my specialty, and my notes is currently one of those problems.

6. (if you see me unfollow a bunch of stranger things blogs (hello, i know some of those are mutuals), im sorry but i clogged my dash with st blogs so bad and i cannot afford slipping into that hyperfixation rn. i can't do that to myself. it's not personal or anything. so um. don't mind me haha.. i should really consider the state of my dash before i follow... but alas, i do not. one of the main reasons i typically avoid the hellscape that is instagram! oh and tbh, i knew it was time to come back to this hellsite when i started casually wasting like. an actual amount of time on instagram semi-regularly. that's when yk it's time to go like fuck i do not want to be in a place where i am wasting time on instagram of all places. wasting time on tumblr is at least tasteful. sorry artists of instagram ily but i simply cannot.)

7. ahaha watch me avoid my sideblogs after this (not that's incredibly relevant). i can only involve myself in social media so much rn...

8. more irl news: after, at least of 2022 and then some of saying i need therapy, i'm finally getting therapy! first appointment booked for this wednesday babey :) thank GOD. definitely needed this after discovering that apparently you can have grandfather issues, as if my current parental issues weren't enough.

9. another irrelevant irl update: i got my license! fucking finally! idk if i ever complained about that on here but YEAH. it feels like so much has changed since i was last active on tumblr..

10. as a final bit of news, since this got fucking long im so sorry, im trying out the name kurtis now. seeing how that fits :)

and um yeah that's how my life is going rn. ill try not to go off in the tags about anything, considering the length of this post. sure makes that relatively new dashboard post shortening feature come in handy tho! haha..

#not writing related #ps.txt #goddamn that is long im sorry #but hiiii mutuals im baaaack(?) :) #i missed y'all + tumblr <3

[ocdhuacheng]

Hey, so can I ask about the thought process (idk words but anyway) behind why you headcanoned Hua Cheng as having OCD cuz I'm very interested? :0

KSJDNKSJDFN sorry it took so long to reply to this I promise I wasn’t ignoring you I was just overwhelmed this week and then after I actually sat down to write out my very long answer I accidentally unplugged my computer and I LOST IT ALL so sorry but this version Is going to be rather incoherent and missing stuff probably bc its pretty much just copied and pasted from one of my discord rambles/previous posts bc I don’t have the energy or memory to rewrite everything how I had it before.. but ive kept u waiting long enough so. Yeah. Sorry.

Also if I sound salty at all its not anything directed at you im just pissed at myself for writing like >3k words all in tumblr like a fool and not backing it up then accidentally yanking on my computer cord like RIGHT as I was going to post it. But I promise im actually very happy getting asks like these even if it takes me a long time to respond ;_;

So anyway basically the tldr version is that I have ocd and I love rubbing my terrible little projection paws all over my favorite characters, but also I do genuinely think that what we are shown of hua chengs personality and actions does naturally lead to the headcanon that he has ocd (and ocpd), kind of like how it seems very clear to me that wwx has adhd and lwj is autistic.

Longer version under cut bc. Well. Sorry in advance lol

So. To start off. my ocd got suuuuuper bad in my second year of college, like to the point where my parents and psychologist was considering putting me in a hospital, so i know how awful ocd can get. and because of that ive always been kinda annoyed that all the ocd """""rep""""" in media is just comedic relief kinda stereotypical clean-freak perfectionist haha look at this weirdo sort of thing. like I was barely functional I couldn’t do basic tasks the majority of the time. ironically, my room was extremely dirty and messy despite my main obsession being about contamination. so yeah not all ocd manifests as the spotless perfect room perfect closet perfect desk or whatever the fuck. sometimes its the opposite. I also got put on academic probation bc I failed all but one of my classes (the one I passed was an art class. Lowkey think that class was the only thing keeping me out of a psych ward that quarter. lol. But anyway. That’s a different conversation) BUT ANYWAY it was all around Awful. Like idk it makes me feel kind of stupid for being such a mess before my medications when everyone just sees ocd as a joke or something. like for example, i loove death the kid soul eater, and hes a good character to make fun of urself after you’ve been medicated for ocd, but i wouldnt exactly call him good rep lmao. But after that relapse episode, I kind of really really really desperately needed a character/story to relate to about it but yippee! there are approximately zero (0) canon ocd characters that aren’t comedic relief! but anyway, i know hua cheng isnt canonically ocd but i was actually able to project on him alot from what we got of his personality (and i do gotta say, sorry but despite my attachment to him i dont actually think hes written all that well, but thats another rant), and its part of the reason why i love him so much bc hes like, definitely my biggest projecttion in this regard. so anyway

i mean theres no argument that his personality and actions are very. obsessive, and rather unhealthy to a degree, especially when he was younger, not so much as he matured over literally 800 years lol but he still has some hella issues. so like, [gestures to all of him] with how he chose xie lian as. HIS PERSON, and proceeded to revolve his entire personality and life around him is obvi v obsessive, i think its very obsessive compulsive personality disorder, which is slightly different than just ocd, one difference being (besides ocd being an anxiety disorder and ocpd being a personality disorder.) in that with ocpd, you dont really think theres anything wrong with how obsessive or compulsive you are, while with ocd it causes a lot of distress. (i havent been formally diagnosed with ocpd, but i do think i definitely at the very least have tendencies in that direction too. Like with certain things i know what im doing/thinking is irrational and it upsets me, but with others im just like. why cant other people see this the way i do? why cant they just understand why this is important? like I just get so! Angry! all the time! with people or in general when things aren’t how I want them to be. I get so judgemental even when other people cant possibly know how specific my standards are like I know its bad and I know it makes me act like a bitch and im sorry) anyway……….. sorry about the tangent but back to hua cheng. he is never distressed by how much he fixates on xie lian, the only thing that distresses him is his own percieved shortcomings with how he cannot serve xie lian the way he wants to. im not sure im explaining this well but i do definitely think hua cheng has ocpd as well. his fixation on xie lian actively prevents him forming meaningful relationships with other people, and even causes a lot of antagonism between him and others (especially fxmq). he just doesnt think anyone else is worthy of his attention. which is obviously, very unhealthy and kind of sad. (i do like to think he grows out of this a bit like with yin yu and he xuan, even if he doesnt want to admit it. AND YUSHI HUANG, bc i am also a ysh/hc brotp propaganda machine as well, and well because she was the only one that was willing to help xie lian during the war too. gay lesbian solidarity mwah <3)

so this ocpd thing.. i believe it extends to things like how the temple in ghost city, or paradise manor, is set up, he'd be classic perfectionist for the layout of it all, probably gave yin yu a lot of grief over it every single time he changed his mind and decided to burn it to the ground or redecorate it because it didnt seem good enough anymore for the hypothetical day when he can bring xie lian there. i dont like to think hua cheng treated yin yu badly on purpose, i dont like thinking hes cruel to him for the sake of being cruel like ive seen some people imply or outright suggest, i mean yin yu is obviously overworked but i think part of that is just hua cheng is so perfectionist about certain things (how the temples and manors look, how theyre run, anything that can be used for or by xie lian in the future) and he just doesnt see that its become a large burden on yin yu because he thinks this kind of stuff is just the rational thing to do, and that everyone should put as much thought into these things as he does. and if he doesnt feel like he can get things to be set up the way he wants it to be it becomes. catastrophic lol

so thats more of the pure ocpd side, though there is a lot of overlap between ocpd and ocd obvi

one thing about ocd is like. its all about wanting to be in control of every tiny part of your life. like for me when certain things are out of my control it freaks me out so much that it basically disables me. Its why I hate planes so much despite cars being statistically much more dangerous. Because if something happens in a car I at least have some semblance of control over how I can escape the situation. In a plane youre just. Fucked. (sorry to all pilots its nothing personal I think youre braver than I will ever be but its basically impossible for me to trust you (and the engineers and inspectors) with my life like that) anyway, i despise ambiguity of any kind and i hate not knowing things or having concrete answers to any questions or worries i have. like. i couldnt decide on a hypothetical grad school because i was weighing the possibilities down to like, ridiculous perceived probability percentages of how likely a natural disaster were to occur in the area, and how dangerous said natural disasters could be, etc. (well. i didnt have to worry about any of that in the end bc i got rejected from literally every school i applied to LMAO RIP but anyway.) so you get the gist. its all just very irrational, and time consuming, and ridiculous to try to gain control of every single possible path your life can take. AND I HATE IT. that was kinda yet another tangent but, to apply this concept to hua cheng. one thing that i find super funny about him is how he always has his nose in everyones personal business like hes such a fucking gossip girl its hilarious. like jokes aside its obvi helpful as a ghost king to know whats going on in the 3 realms, but i think he takes his info gathering up to 11 like he definitely has these control issues about having to know about everything thats going on at all times, having to be on top of everyones business so he cant be caught off guard by anything. over those 800 years of sending his butterflies out recording things he was primarily looking for xie lian, but hes also just kind of. snooping. lmfao. Because If He Doesnt Know Whats Going On Everywhere He Will Die. (again)

and well. with his butterflies to help him, it does work, i mean. hes always on top of things hes always got a plan, hes always the one that people are going to in the book if theyre in trouble. He seems so put together but the things he cant get information on completely eat him alive sometimes. cant let others know that tho, bc hes Cool(TM), hes Chill(TM). cant let anyone know there are things that, god forbid, hes IGNORANT of. embarrassing. tch.

his hoarding im a little ? about because i dont exactly remember the details of it but i do know he has a ridiculous amount of like trinkets and weapons and magical items and stuff in paradise manor, but i also know he doesnt really care if they get destroyed or not, which is kind of strange but i do what i want and im making him a hoarder bc im somewhat of a hoarder and i love projecting. though now that i think about it. like if i have a big pile of something that i dont want to get rid of, but someone else does it for me without asking or something happens to it like yeah i get angry but sometimes i also just get kind of relieved……….. idk.

so now about intrusive thoughts, i bet he has suuper disturbing ones. Like we  know how he was debating slaughtering those humans on mt tonglu but ended up not because xie lian would have saved them. obviously that was already a stressful unusual situation but like i dont think that kind of thing gets any better even when hes just like. chilling. he gets visions of himself burning ghost city to the ground or attacking humans or destroying his own ashes or otherwise causing harm to others, like yin yu. like he pretends he doesnt care about yin yu and he xuan and stuff but i do think hes fond of them, but he tries to keep his distance because 1) hes dumb and 2) he gets really freaked out by these violent thoughts he has about them. the worst is, when he finally meets xie lian again he gets these thoughts about him too and it takes literally everything he has not to like. throw himself into a volcano, or something.

and its already been established his self image isnt. great. which is a kind way of saying it. he thinks hes worthless and ugly, esp if he does even the slightest thing wrong. I mean I definitely think hes better by the current timeline of the book, but it still reads as a kind of precarious thing to me? Like he wants to be a companion to xie lian instead of just a servant like wu ming, but even after 800 years he still feels this inferiority and disregard for himself u know? If im explaining in an okay way? and body dysmorphia is also something that can be ocd related. OH and i forgot to say this before but ocd/ocpd can also sometimes be a way that ptsd can manifest and id definitely say with all that he was said to have gone through as a child he has ptsd, leading to, well, exacerbated ocd symptoms, among other things. his body dysmorphia is obviously something he internalized (for 800 years!!!) from when he was a child, and i can imagine him absolutely agonizing for centuries over his san lang form, because it was supposed to be his most perfect form, he needed to make it perfect, and he never felt like he could

similarly, for the cleanliness side of ocd that i feel is kind of stereotypical? at least how its portrayed in most media, hua cheng has been show a couple times not wanting to get things (or xie lian) dirty. he was very poor and dirty as a child so now he has the connection of being dirty = being miserable, and this is taken to the extreme when he becomes a supreme bc now hes rich and able to be clean and any dirt or blood on him or something/someone he cares about (’cant let you down the ground is dirty’; shielding the flower, etc) is like. an attack on this power he has now ? iykwim

anyway sorry this is long and rambly. if you actually read it all… respect……. Also ignore those parts where I might get a little too personal :^) like idk if it is but I feel like I might regret some of this in the morning. honks. Anywayyyy as you can see im completely normal about hua cheng im saaaaaauuuuur normal and well adjusted and I just think hes neat oky byeee jumps out my window

#yiling-patriarch-kinnie #hua cheng #ocd tag #asks #tgcf #.txt #cc #anyway a lot of this is copied from other stuff so if anyone sees me repeat things verbatim from another post/chat..... mind ur business <3

[kelsiejayy]

Hello! I was wondering if I could get a marvel and criminal minds ship?

My pronouns are she/her and either male or female preference is good. I’m 19 so 18+ characters pls!

𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬: I have massive introverted tendencies and am awkward in nature with new people. As a result I can come across as aloof and indifferent at first. I’m usually too much in my head daydreaming and thinking. I absolutely despise small talk. However with my friends I’m quite friendly and outgoing. Whenever I’m with my friends I can get really giggly and dorky when talking abt my recent hyperfixations. I open up to people very easily if we have similar interests. I tend to either overthink everything or not think at all. I’m a bit of a control freak and want to do the things the way I do them but I won’t enforce this on anyone else unless the result directly affects me. I'm also quite dedicated and ambitious on what I want in my life and will stand by those decisions.

𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗦: New media art. I love to creative code. I love working with interaction design, web design, user experience and user interfaces. I also love creating special effects, and 3D/2d modeling. Apart from this, I love digital illustration and character design. I also probably spend way too much time daydreaming. Fan fiction, video games, movies, books, tv shows. Anything that lets me daydream and disappear from reality for a while is a hobby of mine. I also love working out and weight lifting.

LIKES: I love lazy weekends at home, classic arcades, coffee, learning random new facts, spending time alone, intelligence, creativity, a good sense of witty humor, conversations where you can just be yourself and skip all the awkward small talk, the look on people’s faces when they ramble abt the stuff they’re into, a good home cooked meal, summer and warm weather, a good giggling session with friends esp abt fictional crushes ahahha.

DISLIKES: physical touch (tho I do warm up to the people I’m close too), my biggest pet peeve is people getting in my personal space and touching my things without asking. I also dislike large crowds, cold weather, admitting my anxieties, talking on the phone, and small talk

Thank you ❤️

hi thank you for your ask!

MARVEL: bucky

ok so this will be a rant because i can't describe how perfect this feels to me- i am not kidding when i say this cause omfg. ok so you both are a little awkward with people but for different reasons obviously, so i think when you open up in a comfortable setting along with bucky you would just be the most fun couple ever. i am talking dry jokes only you both will laugh at funny faces in random settings the whole nine yards. i also think your love for art would really calm bucky. for him watching your design process and how you create would just be so calming and i can picture the quiet afternoons you guys would have with music in the background as he watches you create in comfortable silence. obviously, workout dates will be a must along with your other outings and such. i can also see you guys thriving in a rainy weekend with books reading a thons and making homemade meals to eat during them. i think with both the nonphysical touch vibes you both have it would be a good pair because your relationship could form by comforting each other in more unique but equally sincere ways. it is just so perfect i am sorry if i rambled on this one a bit haha

CRIMINAL MINDS: spencer ried

ok so i have coined spencer as tumblrs boyfriend but i cannot get over the way yall could bond abt digital art. like the amount this boy would geek out just sends me to the moon it would be so adorable i have said what i said. bc the SECOND you need a new piece of tech he is putting in the work to find the best and most efficient thing for you. ok but ur dates also- the nights at the bau are long so it would prolly just be home dinners/take out while you guys watch a comfort movie or spencer reads you a comfort book(yall have prolly tried reading the same book at the same time but he is done within the hour and ur maybe a quarter of the way in). i have to say he won't be going with u on ur gym trips bc i mean...yeah but he most definitely will be ur chauffer and wait in the parking lot reading while you finish. and ofc the jokes yall make will be so dry and knowledge base that you will be the only ones laughing but i think that just makes it so much cuter.

my first ship from being back! i hope you enjoyed it!

ship requests are open as of 6/20!

#marvel #marvel imagines #bucky barns #bucky imagines #bucky ships #marvel ships #ships #criminal minds #spencer imagines #spencer reid #spencer x reader #criminal minds ships

[cubedmango]

once again thanks so much for putting up with my long ass ramblings, and you're welcome too :-) it actually took me a few hours to finish typing out all of it, plus that sort of post-script message afterwards, but it's not like i did it all in one go and there were breaks in between, so it's fine haha. i genuinely appreciate your concern though :') and that's the power of a relatively new fixation i'm really excited about i guess? wjdfjkcnvzs though i did cobble some parts of it from tentative posts and meta i've had in my drafts for a while now, so they're not totally things i had to come up with on the spot the other day at least. and that's okay (i do like what i've seen of your writing though), like obviously no pressure to feel as dedicated as i am when it comes to talking about my blorbos and glup shittos and whatnot - your actual passion for the media is what matters and that ofc manifests in cool different ways for each of us 🫡 [1/?]

(rest below)

ah i'm glad my description of build was intriguing enough for you! i hope i didn't seem like i was laying it on too thick with my constantly paralleling and comparing it to aa though - i mean at first glance, the narratives of aa and build could not seem more different, but in hindsight they both prominently deal with the concepts of truth, justice, corruption, redemption/atonement, identity, and family and friendship in their own ways (though ig that's probably true of kr in general, which then makes sense as for how toku would feature as a major element in many aa cases), even if not always perfectly in either series, but the effort is generally appreciated and still pretty compelling imo. and i really love aa too (i actually discovered your blog and your twitter through your very cool and beautiful aa fanart a while back, and then when i started watching cm, i was pleasantly surprised to also see your fanart in the tumblr tags, so it was nice to see some of my interests align with that of an artist i liked and followed <3) so finding ways to make analogies between whatever i'm currently into with one of my favorite franchises ever seemed like the natural next step haha [2/?]

also let me just say that ryusen is one of the few m/m couples to get me this obsessed apart from narumitsu and the like over the past several years, so that's really my best way of recommending them. again, idk if that will truly be your experience too by the end, but hopefully you'll still find something to like about their dynamic so my being this much of a shill for them won't feel embarrassing later on kjvbrhsfjs [3/?]

and yeah the rings!! they're far from the only gay-coded kr duo to get that kind of official romantic jewelry ofc, but they were apparently one of the first to really make it popular, so yeah their overall cultural impact sure is something to not be underestimated lol. and yup i've found that it's actually fairly common for many companies behind popular japanese media to go for selling that kind of merch, regardless of the actual canonicity of the pairing in question - like capcom, toei/p-bandai, etc. are aware that there's sizeable enough shipping fanbases for said media, and yeah ig selling that stuff while not having the guts to actually canonize said pairings can come off as pretty baity which is not really Great but well that's capitalism and queer/fujobaiting for you ig 😔 and here's what the sento/banjou rings look like btw: www . tumblr . com/kabutoraiger/190132806767/a-new-entry-into-the-growing-selection-of though i can't share a picture of it rn, their names (spelled as sento kiryu and ryuga banjo) are also inscribed on the insides of their respective individual rings :-) [4/?]

as for the 'silly little rabbit with a death wish' part of that post... hehe. you'll Get it if/when you get there >:) btw sento's given name literally means 'rabbit tank' and banjou's given name ryuuga means 'i'm a dragon' iirc (although the former having that name actually has a good in-universe explanation for once, but the latter definitely has no such excuse 😭) - tbh kr (+ other toku franchises i'm sure) is right up there with aa in terms of often corny yet still charming pun names, but because they're mostly in japanese and don't have localized english equivalents, one doesn't always get it right away but i suppose that's what google and wiki are for lol and actually one other particular example that's stood out to me so far is the name of the protagonist from ex-aid (the one played by iijima from odt, and yeah he, inukai, and akaso all knew each other from their time in kr because their shows also had its own crossover movie which also featured a bunch of other popular previous rider protagonists), which is the season immediately preceding build, because it's literally houjou emu - houjou as a pun on the japanese word for 'assistance,' and emu as in short for 'emulator' and derived from the japanese word for 'smile,' because guess what that season was about? doctors who are gamers. so yeah subtlety.exe nowhere to be found here lmao [5/?]

and hell yeah feel free to join me in the madness ^_^ toku can be one hell of a rabbit (lol) hole though, so it might lead you to become interested in other shows and movies of the medium/genre, in which case we'll be in this together as i'm also still beginning to get into other kr shows in particular (like after i finish build, i think i'll be focusing on the earlier heisei seasons of ooo, den-o, or maybe kuuga). as for where to watch it, i don't have one particular strong rec for a site rn, but what i've gone for are kissasian (kissasian . fm/info/kamen-rider-build) or toku . fun (toku . fun/post/watch-online-kamen-rider-build-full-series-49-episodes-english-sub) - obviously kissasian is more of a general site for which to watch asian dramas on, but that's if you don't mind ads popping up every so often and also the subs used are not very consistent like the source for one episode's translation could be a different team/person from the previous episode's, whereas toku . fun is specifically an archive for toku shows and movies, and is more consistent with the subs and is basically ad-free iirc, albeit i think i've also heard said subs on there described as 'usually the most accurate but also the least funny/entertaining' (ig bc tvnihon, their source, tends to err on the side of 'purism' when translating), so whichever is more your style in the end? i personally switch back and forth between the two sites, purely on the basis of if there's a translation i'm not satisfied with, even if i don't know how actually accurate it is lol on a side note, build's opening song 'be the one' by pandora feat. beverly is a nice jam, and it has an official english version where i think the lyrics (+ the original japanese version too) are something that would make one come to realize just how much they fit sento and banjou's relationship by the end of the show :') [6/?]

and thanks again for giving me the go-ahead to keep on rambling ^_^ moving on to build's female characters: there are only 2 really prominent female characters (a few others pop up here and there, or have relatively big roles for an arc or 2, but not throughout the whole show), misora (as mentioned before) and sawa. imo, both are treated decently, being fun and interesting characters with their own arcs not purely tied to the men (although obviously romance with men or the lack thereof are not inherent markers of the quality of a female character's writing, it's worth noting that neither of them are written as love interests (so you'll never get the sense that they get reduced to just that role) to any male character - but tbf, kr and other popular toku aren't really big on romance, even the het ones, in the first place, maybe bc of some japanese cultural conventions or something, but i've heard that the few canon m/f relationships that are present are usually not written very well, which is once more very shounencore of them lol - although unfortunately, there is a guy with a frankly kinda creepy and annoying parasocial crush on misora which most of the other characters don't care for either but it's still played off as comic relief, kinda larry-like in that sense if we're comparing it to aa again, and that's definitely one of the show's major drawbacks; i mean i still think build is overall worth the watch, and again, since you've gone through all of aa already, you'd be a veteran wrt this kind of trope, but regardless i think it's good to give some warning in advance to help you prepare for some of the shit that's about to go down) plus misora and sawa are eventually shown having a personal relationship/friendship with each other outside of the men too :-) however, overall they're still kinda underutilized and underdeveloped (sawa in particular) compared to the guys, plus neither of them are riders, though in kr, that's also definitely not an automatic indicator for whether a female character will be well-written or not, but then again, since we're both aa fans, i'm sure we're already very familiar with the feeling of seeing interesting and compelling female characters not get their full due from their writers, so based on that, build is survivable for sure 😔 [7/?]

and idk how well they would fare next to female characters from other kr seasons, but i also think it's worth pointing out that, for all that build's writer/s are clearly still not immune to misogyny, misora and sawa's overall writing doesn't come off to me as 'so misogynistic it becomes gay' in the vein of idk, naruto or death note, bc again, neither of them were touted as viable love interests to male characters before getting shoved to the side in favor of primarily focusing on homoerotic m/m relationships for most of the story only to still get together with those men in the end, and the only thing build was really marketed as in terms of its relationship writing was the 'heated drama between men' stuff so you already get a sense of what's in store for you from the start, and so ultimately you also don't really feel that annoyed or 'cheated' you know? [8/?]

and then on to akaso: that anecdote was from a full interview with him and inukai from when the show was just starting out - docs . google . com/document/u/0/d/1BwqtHLs5d8Vs2YCJA7XJW3TxhaGta8jo9huEo70ehq0/mobilebasic there's only very mild spoilers for the first episode and then vague allusions to what happens in the next couple of episodes or so, but if you'd still prefer to wait until you've actually watched those episodes to read it in full, i'll just copy here the most relevant parts for what we're talking about: "Inukai: The first scene we appeared together in was…. Akaso: Wasn’t it the first encounter scene? Inukai: [...] At that time, it was really hot at the filming location. During out spare time we just tried to preserve our strength, so we didn’t talk much. Now that I think of it, that day, you were staring at my face the whole time. Didn’t anyone notice? (laugh) Akaso: I was feeling dizzy from the heat, but among all the actors, I suddenly noticed Inukai-kun’s face and was captivated by it, thinking “wow, he is so pretty...” (laugh) The director, Tasaki Ryuuta pointed it out to me. I instantly came to my senses. I’ve never stared at any actress like that before, no matter how pretty, but at that time I suddenly became dizzy and just kept staring in a daze. Turns out, it was a heatstroke (bitter laugh). Inukai: You had a heatstroke because you sensed the dangers of my body (laughs). That was the moment I decided I shouldn’t let my guard down around you. Akaso: Nononono, I wasn’t trying to hit on you!! Inukai: (laughs) Akaso: Please stop, don’t add any unnecessary mental images to the word “partners” (laughs). But when Inukai-kun plays Sento, you get the feeling that he’s a very smart person mulling over a lot of thoughts in his head, I think he looks very pretty and cool. Inukai: That makes me happy, I think. Thank you." [9/?]

so there you have it lol. apparently akaso did use the word for 'heatstroke,' but the translator of this interview pointed out on tumblr that it seems like what happened had no actual severe effects on him, so it was likely just heat stress at most and he just said 'heatstroke' to clearly get the point across or something. in general, akaso during his time on build seemed to have a bit of a pattern of saying some kinda out-of-pocket things that would make one go "oh he really had the nerve to go there huh but like... is he wrong?" like when he also infamously claimed at two separate promotional events that banjou was the real 'heroine' of the story (which makes his previous comment to inukai to not add "any unnecessary mental images to the word 'partners'" funnier) 😭 during the first event, he was asked to introduce his character and then himself, and when he said banjou's name, he added that he was the 'heroine,' at which takada kaho (misora's actor) interjected and pointed at herself to say that *she* was playing the 'heroine' and there was a bit of back-and-forth between them as both kept insisting they were the 'heroine' (all in a lighthearted manner ofc) but in the end i think akaso got in the last word before he passed on the mic to takada so she could properly introduce herself this time, although she didn't bring up the heroine stuff again from what i could tell lol. the video i watched from that first event didn't actually have subs, but you could get the gist of it especially since they said 'heroine' in english. as for the second event, i also watched a bit of its video but i don't think i got to the part where he made the comment, so i only saw later on a screenshot from that same video where what he said was translated as "then, when i read the final script, it said that kaho takada was feeling down because banjo ryuga was the heroine." [10/?]

and. well... neither of them are wrong exactly fnsjngkbs. like ofc misora filled the obligatory female lead role, but generally speaking, it seems like it was obvious even among the cast that banjou, in addition to being the typical male co-protagonist like in a 'buddy cop' type of movie or show, was the one pretty much framed as the story's 'heroine,' imo in the style of a shounen anime or manga to sento's shounen protagonist position (well, the shounen animanga with well-written central m/f romances anyway), with the implication of being sento's love interest in all but name officially also. like... it's still very much subtextual but also wow talk about the lack of subtlety here too 😭 and at that second event, there was another comment he made that made me go "okay come on don't do this to us" but it's related to spoilery series-finale and post-series material, so it's probably best that i save discussing it for when you're done watching, if ever. but well yeah i'm kinda obsessed with his mind for all that like. thank you for continuing to help us fans not sound delusional via all these very enlightening comments (i mean aside from how heavy the subtext already was in the actual story) but also what's his issue 😭😭 [11/?]

btw build isn't actually akaso's first kr show - it's amazons, specifically its 2nd season, which also got released in 2017 some months prior to build's airing. amazons is one of those aforementioned more adult-oriented toku webseries and was meant to be a 'darker and more mature reimagining of the 1974 television series, kamen rider amazon,' but it got more mixed reviews overall compared to build, especially since iirc a lot of fans think it didn't handle said darker themes too well or something (there's cannibal cultists?? i think??? idk if akaso's character hiroki was one of them though). but the upside to it is that it was precisely his work on amazons that got akaso cast on build (from what i can tell, hiroki is nowhere near as dumb as banjou, but there's a similar delinquent vibe, albeit hiroki's aesthetic seems to be somewhat edgier). i find it funny though bc hiroki is apparently a 17 year old high schooler, then a few months later akaso made the jump to playing a 23 year old (which was his actual age at the time of filming) ex-pro fighter... the range of this man jwkfjksfdlms [12/?]

on a final side note about something that's not really relevant to all that other stuff but still kinda funny: i just remembered that apparently back when cm was airing, and that moment in ep. 2 (?) where adachi forces the elevator doors open to ask kurosawa out to dinner happened, people were commenting "well that's kamen rider training for you" and yeah i definitely believe banjou could/would have done something like that. though he probably would have punched the doors in the process too, or because he's a dumbass, he might also let himself get accidentally hit by the closing doors and then that's when he'd punch them in response lmao also i think i'll save my further thoughts on the kamen rider yuri and also the few canon lgbt+ characters the series does have so far + the varying qualities with which they've been written for later messages, bc once again this has gotten far too long and there's already a lot of things here for you to process and respond to so. thank you so much again and bye for now 🙏🏼 [13/13]

thank You again for all the info omg theres so much detail again ur a legend..!! reading it is so fun too i can rlly tell u like the franchise a lot that makes me happy ty for sharing all this w me 🥺 and actually to update u i watched a couple of eps since ur last asks (currently on ep8 kdjfksj i did a littol binging) and 1) it is Very different in tone from what i was expecting! i thought itd be like . moody and serious action etc but its actually rlly silly and thats a huge plus for me i love me some silliness always and 2) did take a bit of getting used to the format (+ to akaso and inukai in these roles theyre so different from cm and odt How are these the same guys) but honestly im rlly enjoying the buildup of the mystery?? and the charas are v endearing i care them already. also i cannot believe they dropped this one me in ep *ONE*

LIKE HELLO??? all i could think at first was "this is so nrmt in turnabout goodbyes coded" with the whole "i believe in you" thing but goddam . u werent kidding about these two huh. i get why the rings now i get it. Man. but yeah big fan of their dynamic so far !! and a little unrelated but im hoping they keep up the bit w banjou figuring out best matches in 1 second its my favorite thing rn fkdjsjfjdfhs

(also also this bit im just . thinking. a lot. kind of a crazy line to drop in the middle of all the silliness isnt it 👁👄👁)

anyway . onto misora and sawa omg theyre so good too ???? misora esp shes so funny and i keep wondering when theyll get into her whole powers deal its been on my mind since ep1 ........ these two are def not getting as much screentime ive noticed but at least the times they show up are great so far and none of that forced romance stuff which is what im used to sadly so ill take it 👍 just hope we do get to their backstories too eventually or im gonna be :(

also little cut to the villains too since theyre p prominent but although i already figured gentoku was involved somehow from the start i cannot for the life of me figure out what blood stalks deal is???? like is he just there for the drama of it all . whys he kind of helping the guys what does it Mean-

THE INTERVIEWS HELPJFKDJF ive heard legends of mr akaso eiji and his out of pocket commentary im understanding now ..... that "heroine" thing is Crazy though like surely he had to have known the implications right ????? doesnt he know that stuff is dangerous to fans come on man 😔 ur right abt the range tho im already so impressed by his and inukais acting in here since its so different from the charas they played in cm and odt but still p similar in how they do emotional scenes so im enjoying seeing those 👀

i think ill keep watching bc mostly i just. Really need to know what the mystery is (and still that "silly little rabbit has a death wish" thing, tho im starting to have a hunch about who its referring to.........) so yeah maybe ill have more liveblogging updates for u next time if ur interested in seeing my reactions akfjkdsjf

(before i go one last thing . ACE ATTORNEY REFERENCE???????)

#also the banjou elevator thing stop thats so funny kdjfkdsjf ????? i might have to draw that actually i can see it happening so clearly #AND!!! yes pls i will take all the stuff about canon queer charas too i didnt know kr had those..... i must know all the Lore.............. #oh man this got super long sorry for the big wall of my rambling kdjskjfkg i just have Thoughts u know #my answer

[idleglowingpixels]

Can't remember if I said this already or not, but I finished the drawing I had made, I'm just nervous about posting it XD Bianca's not really in Ch. 6 outside of the beginning if memory serves me right, so it doesn't exactly fit with the chapter but I might release it with the next update anyway

Incoming ramble, only adding the Keep Reading thing so this long post doesn't clutter my blog as you scroll haha, it's kind of an XXY mini-update but also just a blog update in general

I think my main thing is that initially, I wanted to keep my Tumblr & AO3 separate from my main accounts but my art style would very clearly give me away if you happened to find my main username. But at the same time I also...Don't really care??? Like I'm a very passionate person about the things I make, and while it may be seen as cringe or some stupid shit, without fanfiction, fan art and just fan work in general I would NOT be nearly as good at most of what I do as I am now. Fandom over the years has brought me a LOT of like, unruly mess, but it has also brought me so far along on my creative journey.

In fact, the only reason my username here & on AO3 is different is because I had felt a sense of like shame in it at first ig, especially since I started on AO3 posting XXY at 17 and wanted to be able to abandon the account if I felt the need to. (Don't worry, I no longer feel that need, I wouldn't have made a Tumblr blog for my fics if I did)

But now I'm the furthest into XXY than I ever have been, and Ik the pacing has been relatively slow (we've progressed a grand total of like...3 days within the span of 5 chapters XD) but a lot goes on in the beginning and dynamics are re-established for the characters and the Teen AU thing -- point is, I'm proud of how much work I've put in and with I believe a 22k word count by the time Chapter 7 drops, that's already a lot of work I'm proud of for me.

Also since G3's release last year I've been working on releasing my Monster High AU character designs around this October/November (1 each day for a total of I think 33? Cause Jackson & Holt and Meowlody & Purrsephone were gonna have their designs posted together, I have to double check my list), along with a few one-shots if I ever find time to get around to them, and those designs do NOT take a short amount of time for me to complete so I was gonna be like "idgaf" either way eventually XD

Thing is I like both of my usernames so instead of altering all of my accounts to one or the other, my main will be where I'm more professional and focusing more on developing a portfolio of completed works, whereas here I'll just be a little more unhinged lmao

Might make an alt Instagram to match this account so I can focus my fanfics and art and stuff over to that account XD But idk

Now enough about me and my self-reflections, here's what to expect next month:

Chapter 6 is looking just fine for release on July 7th, I'm feeling pretty good about it (probably because it's Butch's POV haha) and I'm excited for his and Buttercup's dynamic to really be shown off since Chapter 3 didn't have them around each other much. I've got an event to attend tonight and a couple of things to do tomorrow but I should be able to give Chapter 6 the usual final edit on Sunday.

Like I said before, I'll probably share my Bianca & Barbara drawing on the Chapter Update post and I'm hoping I'll have a drawing of our 6 leads by the time Chapter 7 rolls around. I've been very much in an art mood lately so it's been taking up a lot of my time, and I've also felt really rejuvenated by drawing to get back to writing little by little.

Also before you ask, unfortunately I might have an update gap between Chapters 7 & 8, as my writing has been very slow over the last 3 or so months. I do apologize for that, but I hope you understand. The last few months have been a lot on me to say the least, but I love sharing XXY with you all, and I just really enjoy seeing emails from AO3 when I check it pretty much every morning. I'm so happy to have others enjoy my work. That being said, I'll do my best to make the gap as small as possible, and hopefully I'll only have to skip a month or something.

Thanks for reading my rambles, and as always, the link to XXY is in my introduction post.

#linposts #xxy #mini update #link in intro post #ppg #fanfic authors #fanfic writing