#(monk still smallest though) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gallusrostromegalus · 1 year

Note

AEIWAM - Some details about whats going on with Komamura. IIRC canon said he was a werewolf, are you doing anything with him?

Me: What IS Komamura's backstory? Me: *reads backstory and eventual canon fate of Komamura* Me: Hm. Me: That's thematically weird and depressing. Me: I'll just ignore that :)

---

So in An Elephant Is Warm And Mushy, there's ALL KINDS of animal-people and supernatural creatures of varying degrees of anthropomorphic states in the Soul Society! Wolf people! Yokai! Centaurs But Bad! Snake people (sneople)! Mothmen! Whatever the fuck The Philosopher Wax is! Hell, Zaraki Kenpachi was raised by eagles! More nonhuman persons than you can shake a stick at!

They just stay away from the humans because The Humans are TERRIBLE.

...Not as terrible as my immediate family though, The Young Wolf is willing to gamble. he has to leave his home suddenly, in the middle of the night, frightened and injured. Family feuds are bad enough, but a drought year for a large group of apex carnivores and great-grandmother dying and creating a power vacuum? I'm lucky I got out alive! He reasons, tightening the bandages and wincing.

It doesn't look so bad. he lies to himself, looking at his reflection in the where he had finally collapsed from exhaustion and blood loss the previous night and somehow woke up alive this morning. Great-Grandfather did me a favor, trying to bite me in half like that- a tail would just make it even harder to blend in with the humans!

...Clothes would help more though. He sighs.

One man's trash is another's treasure, and that has never been more true than in the case of wolves that want to live with humans. The Young Wolf nearly weeps with joy when he finds the dump- barely-rotted animal carcasses to eat! broken wood for a fire! and clothes! Big enough to fit him! Alright that's definitely a bloodstain with a big, sort of sword-slash-shaped hole in the middle, but nothing a dunk in the river won't solve!

...Or not. Well, at least being covered in mud is less suspicious than being covered in blood? How does this thing even go on anyway? The garment is so confusing, he almost doesn't hear the humans who came to dump something until they are nearly upon him, and realizing they'll panic if they see his face, he grabs a broken basket and jams it over his head.

"Hey!" one of the humans calls out, seeing the movement. "What're you?" An old man peers around the pile at him, curious.

The Young Wolf sputters- he's heard tales of humans before, but this is the first human he's ever actually seen- The stories tell of their strange dark eyes and flattened faces how their fur is so fine they're nearly bald all over, and this man fits the description perfectly. An old woman- he guesses this one is a Woman, because what little fur she has is longer- she appears behind him, equally curious, then smacks the man under the ear.

"You dummy!" She snaps. "That's a monk!"

"Big damn monk!" The man laughs- indeed, even though he's one of the smallest of his people and not even grown, The Young Wolf towers over him- but still, he extends his open hand. Like the stories say, his claws are blunt and pale and the pads of his paws are soft. "What's yer name, venerable?"

"He can't answer that, he's a monk!" the woman snaps, exasperated. "They got- whatchyamacallit- Vows of Silence!"

"Oh, right!" the old man laughs. "Well, wouldn't matter if you could talk anyhow- my Old Lady's deaf as a post and I'm dumb as a rock! Come on, this is no place for a holy man!" he waved.

"Our home is up this way- it isn't much, but it's better than sleeping in Garbage! You stay with us and I'll fix that ratty old robe right up!" She said, grabbing him by the hand-

Ba-San looks down at his hand- it feels strange in hers, but it's not the fine gray fur covering his fingers or the rough pads on his palm or the dark nails that taper to claws.

It's that the hand is bleeding, scraped and cut and one of his nails missing like it had been torn off in a fight.

Ba-San is so old that everyone has forgotten her name and they just call her Ba-San, even her husband (who is so old that everyone has forgotten his name and calls him Jii-san, even his wife), and she didn't get this ancient by being an idiot. She glances up at the broken basket she knows got thrown in here by her neighbor not a week ago and sees the large golden eyes inside, staring down at her.

She's also old enough to know what a frightened child looks like, no matter how tall or what species he is.

She makes a show of squinting at his hand. "Why, your nails are FILTHY! You can wash up at the well out back too." She pats his hand.

"Of course! That's right!" Jii-san laughs. "Like I said- I got gravel for brains! He can sleep in Sajin's bed- Sajin is our Boy, but he's long since left home. It'll be good to have a young person around again!" he says, taking the boy's other hand.

He follows, stumbling awkwardly in the badly-tied robe and like he's been injured, but if he leaves paw-prints behind him, they don't remark upon it. - After about a month, the boy has something to confess. And something to ask.

Ba-San and Jii-San have been kind to him- they let him into their home and fed him and Ba-San didn't fix his robe so much as make an entirely new one "appropriate for a Monk", and Jii-san found a pair of old work gloves for him "so you can do your Good Works without losing another nail". Ba-San always gives him her soup-bones "I don't have the teeth to chew them anymore" and Jii-san always moves over so they can both sleep in the sun-patch that appears in the middle of their home every afternoon.

He's tried to repay them how he can- he's tall enough to fix the holes in the roof of their one-room shack standing flat-footed on the floor, and he carries water from the well every day to wash the stone steps outside and re-painted the red gate out front and every morning he makes them breakfast to wake them up and every night he rubs their tired necks and shoulders.

"Mmm-rr." he tries at breakfast, and they both look up, but it's hard enough practicing human words in the woods behind the shack to the birds, let alone now, at the table with the two people he cares most about in the world.

"You say something, Venerable?" Jii-san asks. "Don't worry- I won't tattle to the abbot on you-" he teases.

"Shush!" Ba-san barks at him. "What is it?"

He sighs, and tries again, focusing on the sounds. "mMnoddamunk."

The two elders stare blankly at him.

"Ahm nodda munk." he tries again, enunciating better. "Ahm nodda yumn eethrr."

The two look at each other, then turn back to him and place a hand on each of his.

"...Sorta figur'd the first when you didn't recognize the shrine." Nods Jii-san. "-But that's alright. You take good care of us."

"...Sort of figured the second when I saw your hand on the day we met." Nods Ba-San. "-But that's alright. You're a good person, which is a very different thing than being a Good Human."

The Boy stares at them, stunned, then cringes, embarrassed. Of course! They're old, not stupid. "Aiyee- r-r-r MN! Aiyee LLied." he apologizes, stumbling over the difficult consonant in the middle, determined to conquer it.

"I didn't hear any lies, did you, Jii-san?" asks Ba-san.

"I didn't hear nothin' and my ears even work!" he grins, ears perking up.

The Boy sighs, still exasperated with their antics but mostly relieved.

...Then something Jii-san said caught up with him, and he frowns.

"Aiyee- Aye haffa..." Another tricky consonant. "Aye needa assk ssmmng." he changed tracks. L was enough of a battle for one day, Q and his frustrating wife U could wait.

"Whadday wanna know, Venerable?" Jii-san asked, and Ba-san frowned, turning her ear out behind their home, already suspecting his questions.

He held up two fingers and they nodded, waiting. He'd gotten very good at numbers and pointing already, and until today, that had carried the conversation. "sssHrrine?" he asked.

Jii-san frowned. "...what's your second question?"

"th-Therre'ss ah- Grrrave?" he pointed out behind the shrine, to where a stone stood, with what he now recognized as marks signifying a name carved into it. "wHo?"

Ba-San and Jii-san looked at each other, distraught for some time before Ba-San finally turned back to him, both hands on his.

"...Venerable," She finally spoke. "You had to run away from home in a hurry, didn't you?"

The boy nods.

"-And Jii-san and I were the first people you met that weren't you family, right?" She continues.

He nods again. She purses her lips, agitated.

"Jii-San." She finally speaks. "I think we ought to show him Sajin."

Jii-san sighs and nods, agreeing with her, and stands up. At the back of the house, there is a little cabinet with two boxes they never open, and something covered by a black cloth. Jii-san opens the cabinet and takes out the thing covered by the black cloth, pulling the cloth aside and bringing the thing to the table. It's a flat rectangle, and on it is a drawing of a very strange creature.

It's face is almost perfectly circular, and it's body covered in clothes, like how Humans dress, including a funny hat. What the boy can see of the creature is perfectly smooth and hairless and the same color as not-quite-ripe peaches. It has a long mane of straight dark gray hair growing from the top of its head, and a beard a bit like a billy-goat's

"This is Sajin," Says Jii-san, voice wavering a bit. "He wasn't our son- you can tell, we're not related by blood- but he was Our Boy. He took care of us, like you do now."

"He was Our Boy." nods Ba-San, on the verge of tears. "Then he was Our Man. And then he was Our Old Man, and then-" She stopped, and began to cry in earnest. "-And then he left home, and we buried his body out behind the shrine, and marked his grave, as Humans do."

The boy continued to stare at Sajin's portrait. "...Sajin." he whispered, and the name didn't fight him at all. "...Ihff- if Sajin iss Yumann-?" he looked up at his friends. "Whattrrre You?"

Ba-San beckons him and Jii-san back to the cabinet, and puts her hand on one of The Boxes They Never Open. Jii-San puts his hand on the other, and together, the open the lids just a tiny bit for The Boy to see inside.

He gasps and steps back in horror- the things in the boxes are very much like the skulls he's seen of his people before, but the noses are all smooshed like they didn't grow right, and the eyes are too large and- -And they're just the right size each to belong to Ba-San and Jii-San.

"We are Koma, Guardian Dogs, and this is our shrine." Says Jii-san, closing the lid on his box as Ba-san closed hers, and placing the drawing of Sajin back on the shelf above them. "We wear clothes and speak like humans because we once took Names, a very long time ago, and thus we are People and we act like People." He explained.

"Nnames?" the boy asks.

"A Name is... a sort of contract, that the humans made up." Says Ba-San, locking the cabinet back up. "Humans can live together in such huge packs and crowded cities because they have Rules- you're not allowed to kill other people except in self-defense. You're not allowed to take food someone else caught. Nobody is allowed to kill a child for any reason, things like that. If you take a Name, it's like saying- 'I am this Person! And I agree to abide by the rules of being a person!', and you have to follow the rules, but everyone else has to follow the rules for you too, because you have a Name. So Humans can live very close to each other, because they all have an understanding that nobody is going to violate those rules."

"It's not just humans that can take names- long ago, some wolves decided to take names, and those wolves became Dogs, that live with humans. They were our ancestors, and like our ancestors, we took Names, and we obeyed the rules, and for that, we were fed and allowed to sleep inside and given soup-bones and let to sleep in the sun-patch, but most of all, we were Loved." Said Jii-san.

"-And just the same, we Loved Sajin. He was Our Boy. And We were His Dogs." Said Ba-san, bursting into tears again. Jii-san held her, tears running down his face as well.

Ba-san cried into Jii-san's shoulder for a long time, and The Boy Who Was A Wolf That Wanted To Live Among The Humans sat in silence, thinking.

"...Cour-could Aye- take a nName?" He asks, slowly.

"You'd have to take two, and learn all the rules-" Nodded Jii-san. "But yes. Anyone who can talk can take a name. And you've been talking my tail off!" he wagged.

"Two?" the boy asked. He didn't need to use his fingers this time.

"Humans have two names- one is the name of that specific human, and one is the name of their family or the place they came from or what they did, as a sort of... Introduction. Humans are very big on introducing themselves and all their friends- though I suppose it makes sense, what with them having names to introduce themselves with."

"You can be a Komamura!" Jii-san said, wagging excitedly. "Ba-san and Jii-san are Koma, and we are your Ba-San and Jii-San, so you must be part of our family, so that makes you Mura, a relative- so you're a Koma-mura!" he nodded.

"Humans also give their children names of revered ancestors, to honor the ancestor, and protect the child." Added Ba-san. "You do Sajin's chores, you sleep in Sajin's bed, you take care of Sajin's Dogs... You must be Sajin!"

"That's your name, if you want it- Komamura Sajin!" Said Jii-san. The Boy stared at them for a long time, completely still, until they realized that, for the first time since they'd known him, the scarred nub on his backside was wagging too.

"Thank you." Said Sajin, tears streaming down his face too. --

Many months later, a Monk* leaves the little shrine to Ba-san and Jii-san at the edge of the dump. He leaves his home in no particular rush- if anything, he's lingering- in the middle of a bright morning, hale and with joy in his heart. He waves to his Ba-san and Jii-san as he heads down the road, promising to come back and visit.

"Look at that." says Ba-San. "Our Boy is leaving home again."

"I know," Says Jii-san. "-but this time it'll be alright."

#AEIWAM #An Elephant Is Warm And Mushy #Bleach #bleach fanfiction #sajin komamura #komamura #The Dog Does Not Die!#except for the dogs that are kind of already Dead #but they're alright #I promise

667 notes · View notes

tonguetiedraven · 10 months

Note

I love your Kyoto stuff! (MarbleWolf too!) and was wondering if you could do something with them all teasing Ryuuji about his crush and him panicking about Rin finding out? Get together?

Thank you so much! @marble-wolf and I took this in a slightly different direction, but we hope you like it! We've got a teaser below with a link to the full fic under it.

-- -- -- -- --

The difference of stepping off the bus and onto the road that would lead them to the ryokan, the temple, and the Deep Keep, was immediate to Ryuuji, though he wasn’t sure anyone else would notice. Konekomaru almost certainly, Renzou maybe, but he doubted his other classmates would notice the absence of it.

The air was clear. Crisp and cold, but fresh. Ryuuji took a deep breath of it, beaming as he did (probably still looking a bit grouchy because he could never quite seem to not look that way) and set a quick pace towards his home that Renzou calling out a frustrated sounding “Bon!”

He slowed back down which proved to be a terrible idea because it put him right next to Rin. Shoulder to shoulder almost.

The last time Ryuuji was here, that would have been a terrible thing because they hadn’t been talking at all and he was frustrated and confused and worried. But now, now he wasn’t worried and stressed about the temple he loved and wanted to restore imploding more with every second before he could possibly restore it, and he understood Rin now, and—

And more than understood Rin and that was absolutely the problem now as he peeked over at the scarf and hat clad boy who was pink cheeked with a red nose and pink ears and looking adorably cold despite the fact he had flames whenever he wanted.

Ryuuji’s eyes shot forward again and he was grateful the chill could hide the way his own cheeks went a bit pink as the chuchi Rin always just summoned in Ryuuji once again surged to life in his stomach.

“Just ahead,” he said gruffly, and a bit stupidly. Rin had been here. He knew where the ryokan was. It was visible and there were a few of the Myōō Dharani hanging in front of it.

Rin gave the happiest sort of bounce to find Ryuuji next to him now. He was happy to be away from True Cross for a little while and it was even better to get to spend the rest of break with his friends — especially Ryuuji.

The young monk had been catching Rin's eye more and more recently. (Actually it wasn't recently, but it had just intensified after the Impure King and the trip into Kyoto and then the undercut … he wanted to run his fingers through it.)

But he couldn't do anything about it because he was certain to be turned down and he was just happy to have friends.

He had enjoyed the final days in Kyoto and he hoped they'd have an even better time now without the Impure King stressing Ryuuji out so much.

"Yeah!" He said to Ryuuji, his tail brushing his friend's hand before lifting higher to wag happily in greeting to the Myōō Dharani monks. "I'm excited to be back!"

Ryuuji returned Rin’s smile with his own growing and let his eyes linger for a second before looking forward to the monks gathered at the front. Kinzou, Yumi (he could feel Konekomaru bracing himself for a flying hug), Shishamo, Mika, Chika, Ao, and Uta were all up front and half of them were waving like they weren’t all the only ones on the street and like they weren’t easy to spot.

They were all dorks, but they were his dorks.

“Hey!” Kinzou bellowed, waving all the hard. “Bon! And Rin!”

The way he said it made Ryuuji immediately miss a step, and his face heated in a hot blush that was mostly hidden by his hat and scarf.

What the hell was that tone about?”

“Koneko!” Yumi squealed and launched herself across the distance with a flurry of movement that had Konekomaru grunting as he was rocked back into an extremely indignant Izumo.

Ryuuji used that distraction to put the smallest amount of space between himself and Rin.

“Bon!” Ao and Mika called out in unison and then leaned into whisper something that had them both giggling and Uta whacking their arm with a shake of her own head.

Chika and Shishamo hurried across the space to help grab their luggage (and ogle Shura and her not at all to regulations Exorcist coat.)

“Aren’t you all cozy,” KInzou hummed, snagging Renzou and pulling him into a head lock as he kept smiling between Ryuuji and Rin.

Rin's hand moved up to where he was practically hiding in his scarf and Kuro who's little head was poking out of his bag.

"Yeah?" Rin agreed simply because at least Kuro looked perfectly cozy in the bag.

He felt like everyone was staring at him and he had sorta hoped everybody would have not been still hung up on the Son of Satan thing or the saving them from the Impure King. He smiled anyway and waved at the gathering crowd.

“Your parents are inside,” Uta offered, giving Bon a teasing smile as half the gazes went between him and Rin. Renzou was trying (and failing) to escape Kinzou’s clutches and Konekomaru was entirely wrapped up by Yumi who was asking Izumo questions about her hair clips.

Shiemi was hanging at the back with Yukio, both of them staring a bit too wide eyed, and Ryuuji could see Kinzou opening his mouth again, so he freed his duffle bag from Shishamo’s hand and jogged up to the engawa to get away as it felt like his face was much too red.

He had to be imagining that. They couldn’t know. It was just that he was standing next to Rin. No one could know about his crush. He’d barely even admitted its existence to himself.

He slid the door open, slipping his shoes off as he stepped inside and smiled (only a bit flustered) at his mother and father and more of the Myōō Dharani, all bustling around busily for the upcoming wedding.

Rin hurried to follow Ryuuji, eager to get inside and hopefully away from all the too wide grins. (And before he could get knocked over by the flailing Shima brothers.)

He tripped his way out of his shoes and caught himself on a grumpy looking Yukio who'd followed him inside and he brightened up at the sight of Ryuuji's parents.

"Hi!" He called.

Ryuuji shifted to give him more space, catching sight of his father slipping past Juuzou and a few Deep Keep exorcists he didn’t know the name of. He made a beeline for him, not wanting to get lectured over his hair and the new spiral by his mom. She was going to be furious when she saw the bigger gauges and he didn’t think she’d approve of the undercut.

(It wasn’t because it looked like that was where Rin was going and his cheeks were still hot about the way Kinzou had said Rin and the fact that he had tried to walk close to Rin.)

“Ryuuji!” Tatsuma greeted, immediately moving in for a hug and hauling Ryuuji into it before he could resist. (He wouldn’t have, he just blushed at the noise he heard Izumo make.)

“Hey, dad.”

“Bon!” Juuzou cheered, coming over with a mildly frantic smile. He had a wedding in two days, it made sense.

“Ah, Rin,” Tatsuma added as he released Ryuuji and he reached for Rin’s hand, using it to pull Rin closer so he could set his other hand on Rin’s arm and give him an affectionate squeeze. “I see you two have still made up.”

“We didn’t— it wasn’t a fight.” Ryuuji was blushing again and grateful he hadn’t taken the scarf off yet.

Rin laughed softly, relaxing into the kind, fatherly touch that he missed so much it hurt. He gave a smile because he didn't know…

"The Impure King stuff? That wasn't… was that a fight?" Rin directed the last question to Ryuuji, looking at him with wide eyes.

Torako pulled Ryuuji away from Tatsuma to give him a hug that looked far too tight but entirely loving as she ran a hand over his hair.

"I approve of this hair much more. You look wonderful." She said with a wide smile.

Ryuuji blushed, torn between who he should talk to, but he gave his mom a warm smile and returned the hug. (Better than a lecture.)

“Thanks, ma.”

“Was it not?” Tatsuma asked, smiling mischievously. “My mistake. It’s still nice to see you two getting along.”

“We—” Ryuuji’s attention was immediately returned to them as his blush darkened again “—it wasn’t—”

“Of course not,” Tatsuma said congenially and moved on to greet Konekomaru with a final squeeze of Rin’s arm, leaving Ryuuji there with his mom messing up his hair and a blush.

Torako looked suddenly apologetic, almost exaggeratedly so, as she sighed and ran her thumb over Ryuuji's cheek. (He was getting so scruffy . He wasn't a baby anymore.)

"I hope you two don't mind, but we are having Ryuuji share his room with you, Rin sweetie. The wedding has us booked out! We have Yukio with Konekomaru and Renzou gets to go home." She said in a soft voice.

Rin's heart leapt and he was blushing before he could stop it as his eyes immediately went to Ryuuji as Torako held a hand out to him.

Ryuuji was certain he had to have misheard that for a moment. The plan had been for him to share with Koenkomaru and the twins to take one of their rooms and them to take the other.

But apparently that had been switched and now he was blushing. (He hadn’t actually stopped.

“I—what?”

“Yes,” Konekomaru agreed from behind him. “That was the plan?” Yukio nodded his own agreement and passed by to congratulate Juuzou.

It sure as hell hadn’t been. Ryuuji would have remembered that plan.

“We—” Ryuuji cut himself off and swallowed at how high his voice had sounded. “Is that okay, Okumura?”

Rin blinked dumbly for a long moment before brightening. "Yeah! I don't mind."

Someone coughed in the crowd and Torako beamed.

"Wonderful! You kids go get unpacked and we can get to work." She said, practically herding them out.

Tatsuma shot her and Konekomaru a wink as Kinzou grinned mischievously and Renzou still struggled to get free.

Ryuuji walked towards his room, wide-eyed and only internally panicking a bit.

“Right in here,” he offered (croaked.) He slid the door to his room open and motioned inside, eyeing it for anything weird and embarrassing and blushing darker at a few of the posters he had up.

His futon was rolled up in the corner, and sure enough, there was a second beside it. He’d need to move his prayer mat for Rin, and it still wouldn’t be a lot of space. He didn’t have a particularly large room.

He stepped further into it, striving to keep walking normally (because it felt like he wasn’t at all) and stopped by the dresser, setting his bag next to it and daring to pull off his hat and scarf and set them on top of it.

“Just, uh, make yourself at home.”

Rin went inside, eyes wide and drinking in the room and how rich in Ryuuji's personality it was. There were collections of prayer beads and such a Ryuuji mix of Buddhist flair and punk (that made Rin's knees weak.)

He slipped inside and set his bag close to the door to keep it out of the way. Kuro meowed and hopped out of the bag to probably look for someone to feed him.

"Cool! It suits you!" Rin praised, giving Ryuuji a wide grin. He sat down on the floor and took off his scarf and jacket, already a bit too warm and it was guaranteed to get worse with the room smelling like Ryuuji and him being right there .

Ryuuji’s eyes shot to Rin and stayed a moment longer than they should, and felt his cheeks darken all the more.

“Thanks,” he mumbled, and wondered if that was the right answer. It sounded a bit lame as he tugged off his own jacket and set it on the dresser too.

“I get up early,” he added, absolutely not thinking about the fact that Rin would be sleeping right next to him. This was some kind of devilish temptation. (Fitting that it was Rin, but Ryuuji couldn’t imagine what he’d done to earn that sort of karma.)

“But I won’t wake you up.” He grinned and tried to make it look normal. “Don’t worry. I’ll let ya sleep in past six.”

"Oka— wait! Don't wake me up at six-thirty!" Rin said because that seemed like a smart ass thing Ryuuji would do.

(And he would give Rin that teasing, smug look that had made Rin want to hit him before but now he just loved it. )

"I stay up late!" Rin offered in exchange. He had trouble going to sleep on a normal day… it might be impossible with Ryuuji sleeping so close.

“I sleep like the dead, so that’s not gonna be a problem. And understood, it’ll be six-fourty five then.” He gave Rin a wink and looked away before Rin could see the blush.

“Do—”

There was a polite knock at the door that had Ryuuji looking over in confusion. It slid open before he could say anything and Mika leaned in with a broad smile on her lips and a bit of black hair in her eyes.

“You two are on mochi duty with me, the Hojos, and Shigemichi,” she informed them.

“We’re what?”

“You’re going to be making mochi. For dinner. We’re going to be making a lot. You know how the Shimas eat.”

She gave Rin a grin before looking back at Ryuuji with mischief in her eyes. “You said Rin was a good—no, fantastic cook, didn’t you, Bon?”

Ryuuji no longer had a scarf to hide his blush.

#bonrin #bon x rin #ao no exorcist #blue exorcist #my tumblr fics #ryuuji suguro #rin okumura #ryuji suguro #bon suguro #okumura rin #suguro ryuji #suguro ryuuji #bonfire #bonxrin #bon/rin

30 notes · View notes

khunwriting · 1 year

Text

[Cigarette Break]

Synopsis: While skipping classes, you get a nicotine craving and end up dragging your two best friends with you.

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Naughty Busters!Ichiro Yamada x Reader; Naughty Busters!Kuko Harai x Reader

While hanging out with your best friends, the usual nicotine itch that scratched at your throat was kicking back up again, and you were beginning to get antsy as a result. You were pretty vocal about needing a smoke break, and your two skipping buddies were okay with tagging along to the bathroom with you. However, it was usually a trip that you took on your own, so you didn’t quite realize how cramped it would’ve been with two more people in the same stall.

It was awkward to stand in the tiny stall, and the three of you had to figure out quickly how to situate yourselves comfortably for the next handful of minutes till you got your craving satisfied. But with how you three were…

“You’re taking up so much room! Sit your ass down, Ichiro!”

“I’m working on it, Kuko! Ugh, you reek, [Name],” “Fuck you, Ichi!”

…It was a surprise you haven’t gotten caught by the teachers.

With that thought in the back of your head, you had to resist the urge to stomp on Ichiro’s foot, his comment shooting a spike of irritation through your veins. With the way he was sitting on the toilet, Ichiro could easily spread his legs and push you into Kuko, who leaned against the stall door. If that were to happen, you were sure that it would’ve only gotten louder and end up with you guys getting caught. So instead, you just shot the taller boy a glare over your shoulder and tried to get comfortable between nearly straddling Ichiro’s leg and pressing yourself against Kuko’s body.

“It’s too fucking cramped!” The red haired monk hissed next to your ear, his warm breath hitting your neck. Peering over at the shorter boy, your eyes met with his narrowed gold ones, looking a tad annoyed. “Do you have to smoke in here!? Couldn’t we do it outside?”

“And get caught smoking on school grounds? Yeah, right,” You barked out with a huff. “Look I’m cool with skipping, but I’m not trying to get expelled. My mom will beat my ass if I get kicked out now,”

“Yeah, but it’s super uncomfortable. Can’t stretch my legs with you guys in front of me,” Ichiro complained as he let his head lean against the wall behind him. At his words, both you and Kuko craned your head to give him a heated look.

“Not my fault they make the only bathroom with a window have the smallest stall,” You snapped, jerking your head to motion at the window just above your head. With a strangled groan, your eyes darted between your best friends, scrunching up your nose. “Why are you guys complaining? You wanted to be in here with me!”

Hearing your words, the two boys stiffened and darted their gazes away from your scowl. You realized you weren’t going to get any answers from them, making you roll your eyes and take your chance to finally get your smoke break.

You reached into your pocket, took out your pack, and placed a single cigarette between your lips. Letting it dangle for a few seconds, you grabbed your lighter, bringing it to your cigarette, not noticing the two pairs of eyes watching your movements. Upon lighting up the end, you took a deep inhale, holding it for a beat, before releasing it into the window above you, careful to not blow it into your friends’ faces.

Instantly, it felt like that annoying scratch was ebbing away and the tension forming in your chest felt lighter. You couldn’t help the smile that stretched around the cigarette as you continued to inhale the smoke a few more times. Noticing that your usual loud-mouth friends were oddly quiet for once, you took the chance to tilt your head to look at Ichiro.

Said boy was still leaning back in his spot, his hands disappearing into the pockets of his hoodie. Though you don’t miss the way his eyes lingered on your mouth, staring at the cigarette sitting in between your lips. Your eyebrow quirked up in curiosity, taking the stick out of your mouth and extending your arm out to him.

“You wanna try?” You asked, snapping him out of his thoughts. Ichiro blinked a few times, his gaze darting between your cigarette and your eyes. Then his expression scrunched up and his lips pursed into a frown.

“I’m a minor,” He stated simply, earning a deadpan stare from you, seeing as you both were the same age.

“C’mon, you can beat up dudes for money, but you can’t smoke a cig?” You snorted, causing Kuko to snicker softly behind you. The boy’s cheek began to tint red and your eyes instantly took note of the rosy hue. Unable to hold back your smirk, you placed your cigarette back between your lips, speaking with a teasing lilt. “You’re so cute, Ichi,”

You turn back to chuckle with Kuko, causing the eldest brother to thrum with embarrassment. Without a second thought, Ichirou shifts his legs forward. His leg knocks into the back of your knees, making you nearly topple into the monk if his hands didn’t dart out to steady your taller form. His hands rested firmly at your sides while your hands shot out to plant next to Kuko’s head. The impact made the stall walls rattle as you tried to steady yourself.

“Shit, shit, sorry!” You apologized, pushing away from the monk’s personal space once you could. Your expression shifted to a vexed glower, turning to snap at the laughing boy. “Man, Ichi, what the hell!”

Kuko could only watch as you finally stomped on your friend’s foot. Ichiro instantly bit down on his bottom lip to prevent the loud curses from slipping out, and he kneeled over to nurse his hurt foot. Standing over him, you let out another drag from your cigarette, flicking the ashes out the window. You let out a click of your tongue before turning to Kuko, holding out your cigarette.

“What about you, Ku? Wanna try?” Kuko let out a smirk, highly amused how you ignored the daggers Ichiro was sending your way. “I’m a monk. We’re not supposed to indulge in alcohol or drugs,” He shrugged, folding his arms across his chest. You blinked at him with an unimpressed purse of your lips.

“And you’re not supposed to use violence either,” With your free hand, you began counting off other things. “Or hold money. Or swear. Or treat your elders like shit. Or—”

“Shut up!” Kuko rasped out, rolling his eyes at your laughter. He reached his hand out, wiggling his fingers in a ‘come hither’ motion. “Yeah, yeah, I get it. Hand it over,”

You sent him a cheeky grin and placed the cigarette carefully between his fingers. Kuko stared at the object for a few seconds, not quite sure what to do. He had seen you done multiple times, but never actually attempted himself. He tried to recall the motion of going through the actions in his head and decided to try it himself finally.

Bringing the butt of the cigarette to his lips, Kuko took a deep inhale. Instantly, the smoke filled his mouth and it was all he could taste and smell. It’s nearly nauseating and he can feel tears welling up in his eyes. Unable to hold it back anymore, the monk begins hacking, his throat feeling incredibly irritated now.

“This shit fucking burns!” He spat out in between coughs. Even as you reach over to rub his back, the searing sensation in his chest still lingers. “How do you enjoy this crap?!”

“It’s ‘cause you sucked it in too hard, too fast, Ku,” You answered with a small, apologetic smile. You took back your cigarette, bringing it close to your lips. “Let me help you out. When I’m done, just hold onto your breath for a sec, okay?”

Kuko nodded slowly, unsure of what you were planning. His gold eyes darted to Ichiro behind you, who peered around your body with a curious stare. But the monk’s attention was taken back to you as your free hand cupped his chin. You gave him a sweet smile and took a light drag of your cigarette.

Then suddenly, your lips were on him.

Kuko’s mind went instantly blank, never having felt someone’s lips on his own until now. But he vaguely felt your tongue pushing against his mouth and he unconsciously parted his lips. Then the familiar sensation of smoke filled his mouth, and that’s when he recalled your words.

You pulled away from the monk, watching Kuko follow your instructions. His chest stopped moving and he didn’t look as uncomfortable as he did just a few moments prior.

“Breathe in normally, then exhale,” You commanded. Kuko did as he was told, and, slowly, white smoke left his lips in light wisps. You grinned widely, patting your friend’s cheek. “Good boy. Better now?”

“Shit still hurts,” He muttered with his chest still burning and his heart hammering against his ribcage.

“Yeah, well you get used to it after a while,” You mused as you gave him back his space. You turned back to look at your other friend, noticing his tinted cheeks and gaping mouth. His eyes were lingering back on your lips, blatantly staring.

“Wanna try, Ichi?” Ichiro jumped at your voice, pressing his lips together. Your tongue slipped out to lick your bottom lip, amused that his gaze honed in on the action. You waved the small remaining bit of your cigarette, gesturing towards him. “I can do the same to you,”

“I’m a minor…” Ichiro mumbled, his heterochromatic eyes darting anywhere but you and Kuko. You chuckled at his words, trying to muffle the sound with your hand. Even as you did your best to silence the noise, the sound still came out nice to the two within range and they couldn’t help but join in on the laughter. Looking back at this memory in the future, you wished you could relive these small, much simpler times with both of your friends.

But you know you might never get that chance again.

#Hypnosis Mic #Hypmic #Ichiro Yamada #Kuko Harai #Ichiro Yamada x Reader #Kuko Harai x Reader #Hypmic x Reader #Hypnosis Mic x Reader #Scenario #Khunwriting

71 notes · View notes

gatheredfates · 8 months

Text

05. undone | azuma yumishi

Do you want to read all of my FFXIVWrite prompts? You can do that here!

BARBAROUS. primitive and uncivilized. extremely brutal. DISCLAIMER: Azuma takes direct inspiration from Japanese/Chinese culture, with respect to Doma/The East and her general themes. I am neither Japanese nor Chinese. While I always endeavor to write to her as respectfully as possible, there are times where I will mess up. If I have written anything from a place of ignorance, especially if it's egregious, please don’t hesitate to correct me. I’d rather suffer momentary embarrassment to ensure I don’t repeat my mistakes.

Assimilation was the desire of the tyrants who dubbed them savages, an irony cloistered in steel as they stripped identity from the outer provinces and churned them through their war machine. ‘Doman’ had been synonymous with ‘savage’ for as long as Azuma could remember; spat from barbarous tongue; heralded in fire, wire, stone and steel; twisted and defaced in the lesson that safety was second only to allegiance, and they were loathe to defy the second if they craved the first.

A tokonoma was no temple, though they were too ignorant to suspect the smaller sibling. As was their way, they had gone for the tera first; expelling the monks from her walls, tearing down her foundations and salting the earth. As the bones of the elders fermented in the earth they laughed at the miko distraught at the carnage, goading them as they grabbed their limbs like the jaws of snapping dogs.

“You wouldn’t know civilization if it looked you dead in the face. Try to call upon your kami now — prove to us your primal nature.”

Her first kill had come that way, a blade in the belly of a soldier who thought her easy prey. It was not clean, but it would suffice. The blood in her obi was the smallest price. The obi, the tokonoma; the ever-constant chant of lesser. Let them take their larger prizes. Many a serpent had still killed a man when freshly hatched from the egg.

As she lit the incense and gave her offerings, Azuma clapped her hands gently together. Even in this place she could feel her ancestors and feel the soft beating heart of her home.

We have always been here and will continue to endure when they are undone, undone, undone.

#ffxivwrite2023 #i had more ideas for this but tbh i'm too tired and i just wanted to say i did it #but i DID it #thank you #｡･ﾟﾟ･ — 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 : azuma #my writing

17 notes · View notes

theweirdhybrid · 2 years

Note

THANK YOU!!! Finally someone said it. I do try and respect Tripitaka but honestly it's mostly out of respect for Chinese culture. The other part of me wants to shake him like a ragdoll and yell a bit BECAUSE YOU TORTURED YOUR FRIEND REPEATEDLY AND MOST OF THE TIME IT WAS FOR NO GOOD REASON????

Like I understand a lil at the start since from The monk's perspective he just met a 'scary demon' that's all over the place and he didn't know Monkey King but like hhhhhhh later on when they actually know and care about each other it makes me really mad

Yes!! Yes, this is exactly why I’m uncomfortable with Tripitaka! I do have an immense amount of respect for him and the Journey To The West novel, but I also have to put some boundaries regarding my own morals. JTTW is essentially one big “Join my religion because it’s the superior religion” book and it shows in quite a few parts, but it also acknowledges the fact not everyone wants to join that religion and that the other religions are just as real as the one they want you to join (but they do it in a backhanded sorta way). A few things in the book that made me uncomfortable was actions such as physically punishing someone for a mistake with “a few hundred lashes” and it being called ‘merciful’. Tripitaka ceasing the torture on Monkey the first time is described as a merciful and or compassionate action, even though he let it happen for several minutes. Buddha deciding that while Monkey was trapped under the mountain he’d be fed iron pellets and molten copper was described as an act of mercy. These kinds of descriptions made me uncomfortable, because I could never imagine physical abuse as an acceptable way to discipline anyone in even the most extreme circumstances. I get it was really the only way to keep Monkey under control, but the fact Tripitaka punishes him first and then starts demanding answers is just 😬 and there was like, no apology for the torture, ever. (I also admit I could be remembering things wrong, but in my defense I am very tired rn and JTTW is such a long novel that tiny details like that are easily missable and or forgettable)

But, despite this, I still respect and admire JTTW. The characterization is some of the best I’ve ever seen, and the growth of Monkey is incredibly inspiring. JTTW is an important part of Chinese culture, and I have a great deal if respect for it because of that, but I know for a fact a good portion of the people who read it were made uncomfortable by how easily Tripitaka put Monkey through what was essentially a simulation of feeling his head explode over the smallest things. The entire encounter with the White Bone Demon comes to mind, where Monkey was in the right and would’ve been believed had Pigsy not opened his big mouth. That part, particularly, makes me upset because of my own history of being wrongly punished because someone else was believed over me. It also irks me how Monkey actually came back to Tripitaka willingly (on multiple occasions) and still got punished for it. Like, that’s not helping, that’s just traumatizing him!! If he’s getting punished for doing the right thing how the hell does anyone expect him to not be traumatized by that??? Like. Bruh. Seriously. How about instead of immediately punishing him once Monkey comes back of his own free will, you thank him and give him a pat on the head or something instead of making him experience his head exploding and imploding at the same time??? No wonder Monkey was grumpy a good part of the Journey, I’d be grumpy too man.

(Also, note, a good portion of JTTW wouldn’t have happened if someone had just taken the time to sit Monkey down and tell him the rules that even the Jade Emperor and Buddha himself have to follow. Like honestly, I get the fact they’re terrified of him, but did no one think to tell him he can’t eat the peaches from the trees because they’re harvested specifically for a really important banquet? Or at least tell him not to eat all of them and leave enough for the banquet? And if they’d invited him to it in the first place he wouldn’t have trashed it, hell he might’ve even decided he didn’t want to go. But alas, the gods resort to violence every single time. No communication ever gets done. But that’s just my own opinion on it, I still enjoyed the book regardless.)

#into the wukongverse au #jttw #journey to the west #sun wukong #monkey king

110 notes · View notes

liminalpsych-in-teyvat · 10 months

Text

Notes for A Matter of Duty - Chapter 6: The depths beckon

Hoooo boy. That only took forever to write. "How about a soft vanilla sex scene," I said. "It'll be great for the story," I said. Well, we see how that turned out. This is about as vanilla as I can write. And about as soft. (Do I get an award for trying, at least?)

It's not meant to be the best pr0n. The rising tension kept getting derailed by Ayato's trauma responses, which is fairly accurate to how trauma can be experienced (and can interfere with sex or other kinds of intimacy), but then figuring out how to get back to the sex and rising tension was a trial every time.

I kept having quotes in the marginalia by medieval monks going through my head the past few days as I banged my head against the wall of this story. Wednesday: "I think I can finish this chapter today!" 2000 words later, still not done. Thursday: "Definitely today though." Nope. Friday: "…if I don't finish the chapter today, I will scream." But I did it, so that's a relief. (Now to repeat the cycle over again.)

I know shogi is seen and mentioned more than Go with the Kamisatos (though both of the games come up), but I have way more access to useful Go analogies and information and I already know the basics of Go. There's a whole shelf of Go books in my house because my nesting partner played very seriously for many years, and I can have them check over my Go scenes which is super helpful. I'd have to do a lot more studying to be able to write Shogi symbolism. Honestly, I feel like Go is a more appropriate game for the Kamisatos anyway, and makes for better metaphors in the political games Ayato is playing. My headcanon is that Ayato plays shogi with Thoma because it's easier for outlanders to get decent at playing it, whereas Go is simple to learn but incredibly complex to master. Ayaka is probably just barely a 1 kyū equivalent at this point in her life; by the time the Traveler arrives in Inazuma she'd be far higher. Ayato's probably around a 3 dan. Thoma would be an unranked beginner. (The ranks probably aren't used in Inazuma at this time, so this is just for conceptualizing handicap stones.)

One of the main areas I specialize in as a psychotherapist is trauma and PTSD. You'd think this would make it easy to find pithy resources on PTSD to stick in the Further Reading section, but instead it's hard because all the shorter, layperson-accessible articles are dissatisfying. I have lots of book recommendations, but that seems outside the scope of this list. (Complex PTSD by Pete Walker is my top recommendation for trauma books. Just ignore anything he says about mental health conditions that aren't PTSD.)

References, resources, and further reading:

Coping with flashbacks, nightmares, and intrusive thoughts: Explanations of re-experiencing symptoms in trauma, and coping strategies to deal with them. (Ayato was not using many coping strategies, and was in fact just "pushing through" the memories which just meant he kept dissociating. Don't do this if you have other options, because it can complicate the trauma responses and add referred triggers. Ayato is not handling his issues very well, don't do what he's doing.)

Depersonalization: A form of dissociation that Ayato was struggling with.

Symptoms of PTSD and complex PTSD: Pretty decent explanation of the symptoms and differences between PTSD and complex PTSD. (I mostly work with and experience complex PTSD, so that's more of what will show up in my writing.)

Yukata: Some history of the yukata and how it's worn.

Edo Measurements: The mō referenced a couple times is the smallest unit of measurement in the traditional, pre-metric Japanese system of measurement. It equates to 0.03030 mm or 0.001193".

Etiquette, Attitudes, Advice in the Game of Go: Of course Go has ritualized etiquette standards.

Tips and Advice on Go Etiquette: A little more contemporary etiquette but some of it still applies to historical politeness rules.

Go Proverbs: Ayaka referenced a couple of these.

Lessons in the Fundamentals of Go: I just browsed my partner's shelf of Go books, but it turns out one of the better books I referenced is available in .pdf form.

Anal training: This one's a more succinct, direct overview than some of the links from the previous chapter.

Bottoming 101: A reasonably thorough guide to bottoming in anal sex.

How to make bottoming easier: Tips and tricks for safe anal sex.

Summary of the fic itself with content warnings, tags, etc so you can decide if you want to read it or not before you click on the link.

A Matter of Duty

"Back then, I had no choice but to accept the position I was in. While I desperately looked around for powerful supporters, I endured smear campaigns and attempts to exploit me. I had no other choice… I didn't mind what became of me, but my family… No one can ever be allowed to trample over my precious family."

How Ayato secured powerful supporters, endured exploitation, and weathered the storm of the years following the death of his parents… and how Thoma helped him contend with a bunch of self-serving, degenerate public officials.

And how, after much stilted fumbling and well-intended sacrifice, they learned the truth of one another's hearts.

Note: Mind the tags. More specific content warnings will be given at the beginning of each chapter, and the story tags will be updated as needed. All characters involved in any sex scenes are adults.

Rating: Explicit. It's porn with plot. Porn as a vehicle for plot, or plot as a vehicle for porn, you can interpret it either way. (I prefer: porn and plot as a vehicle for ~feels~)

Tags that I'm not actually turning into tags here, but it gives you an idea of what you're in for: Kamisato Ayato/Thoma (Genshin Impact), dubious consent but not between Ayato and Thoma, slow burn, sex ed, first time, self-sacrifice, humiliation, exhibitionism, oral sex, anal sex, bdsm, bad bdsm etiquette, rough sex, breath play, impact play, bondage, service kink, abuse, sadism, codependency, shame, guilt, jealousy, possessiveness, trauma, ptsd, dissociation, political sex work, or sex work for political maneuvering, or political survival sex work if that’s a thing, exploitation, blackmail, political machinations, political intrigue, no aftercare, maybe someday some aftercare, hurt/comfort, mostly hurt for a long time but eventually comfort, oblivious disaster gays, for such socially savvy people they are terrible at personal relationships, dominant Ayato, submissive Thoma, top Ayato, bottom Thoma, Ayato is incredibly parentified, Thoma has no sense of self-preservation, self-sacrifice isn't a contest but don't tell Ayato and Thoma that, it's like the snipe-the-check game at restaurants but with sex and politics, Kushiel's Impact, no really this was in my drafts for the longest time as Kusheline Thomato Fic, everyone's an adult in this timeline except Ayaka, she gets protected at all costs, original characters out of necessity, finding appropriate existing Inazuma npcs for some of these roles was impossible, no beta we die like ayato's parents, let Kamisato Ayato say fuck, dead dove: do not eat, no seriously please mind the tags

Full fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47604337?view_full_work=true

Chapter 6 - The depths beckon: A game of Go, gathering strength, and finally: fumbling through more first-time sexual experiences.

Chapter contains: anal sex, first time, teasing, some power dynamics, subspace/topspace (kind of), sex while having a trauma response, flashbacks, dissociation, guilt/shame, self-loathing, dishonesty/lying

#kamisato ayato #thoma #genshin impact #genshin fanfic #thomato #ayathoma #a matter of duty #my writing #kamisato ayaka #dead dove do not eat #AMOD chapter 6

2 notes · View notes

milf-harrington · 3 years

Text

Reki hadn't been on the patrol with Suki that had captured the three newcomers, but he had been there to see the smallest of them launch himself several feet into the air before announcing that he was the avatar. Apparently there had been an accompanying trick involving marbles but Reki had dropped his fan so he missed it.

And now he was apparently in charge of keeping them occupied while Suki found them somewhere to stay.

"I'm Katara." The water tribe girl brushed the tips of her fingers along the bottom of her pendant as she spoke, big blue eyes warm with a gentle sort of kindness Reki wasn't used to seeing, before gesturing to the taller boy beside her. "And this is my brother Sokka."

The mildly distrustful and hardened look on Sokka's face was more expected, and despite his feigned disinterest in the conversation Reki could see the way he took in their surroundings with a calculating glint to his eyes.

Reki wondered what the village looked like to him, if he was unfamiliar with the sight of trees and grass, the warmth in the air despite being so far south. He wondered if the twitch in Sokka's eyebrow was because he'd noticed the sparkle of frost still clinging to the leaves of a bush after Langa had been entertaining the children earlier that morning, or if it had something to do with the tension in his shoulders, like he was physically holding himself back from something.

"And I'm Aang!" A bright voice piped up, bringing Reki's attention to the big grey eyes and childish grin of the kid who'd wowed the village after claiming to be Kyoshi in a past life. He clearly wasn't much older than Miya, dressed in the yellow and orange robes of the airbending monks, bright blue tattoos a permanent reminder that the kid was a master in his field.

Ah, the identity thief. Reki nodded, remembering the years they'd spent joking about Miya being the Avatar, despite knowing he wasn't. And then, when the rumour about the real Avatar being back had gotten around, Reki had followed Miya around all day, poking and prodding him about how he felt having his identity stolen.

It took exactly 2 seconds to register the confused and mildly hostile expressions on their faces before realising that he had said the identity thief comment out loud.

Spirits.

"Uh," He laughed nervously, tugging on his fingers and quickly scanning the street for a diversion, feeling relief wash through him when he caught sight of Langa sitting on the steps to his house, scribbling something down on a roll of parchment. Hopefully working on his handwriting, but probably not.

"Oh! Let me introduce you to someone!" He smiled wide, trying to move past the whole 'identity theft' joke as quick as possible. Though he boasted about his talents any chance he got, Miya was a private person around strangers, so it was probably best not to blurt out that he could bend air when there hadn't been a known airbender since the beginning of the war.

Langa was apprehensive but polite, welcoming them to the island before kissing Reki's cheek and promising to meet him at Cherry and Joe's later.

There was something in Sokka's expression when Reki turned back to face them that made him pause, before digging into the history of the island as he lead them further down the street, keeping his eyes peeled for any more of his friends.

The look hadn't been bad, exactly- there had been a questioning sort of hopefulness to it, something Reki remembered feeling the first time he saw Cherry and Joe actually kiss. The realisation that it was possible to love another guy, and wondering if it was something he wanted.

When Miya jogged out of Shadow's flower shop, he took one look at Reki and dropped his skateboard on the ground to make a quick getaway, but Reki was wrapping his arms around the kids waist before he could make it very far, board rolling a few feet when Miya kicked his legs in outrage.

Sokka turned out to be pretty interested in Miya's board, immediately asking what it was and how it worked and where it came from. Reki was more than happy to answer his questions, explaining how Cherry had built one when he was a little kid and spent a few years perfecting it before he started building them for other people.

"A lot of us grew up learning how to ride them." He explained, scratching absently at his glove and blinking three times, before stretching out his hand when he realised he'd been clenching it for awhile. "It's easy once you get the hang of it- Langa pretty much perfected it after a few weeks, but Langa's kind of a freak of nature."

Katara and Aang took over the questioning when they moved past the mechanics of it and into the fun stuff, like tricks and speed, all sparkly eyes and big grins when he told them about one of the cooler beefs between Langa and Miya.

When he caught sight of the old cherry blossom tree, twisting up over a familiar house with ribbons of incense smoke snaking through the air from where they'd been lit and placed on the window, he brightened and bounced on his toes.

"And these are my unofficial dads!" He introduced brightly, finding said unofficial dads in the middle of a bickering match in their front yard.

The ground rumbled beneath them right as the sound of sloshing water reached his ears and he watched in amusement as the ground tripped Cherry so he fell backwards at the same time that Joe was drenched in water from a bucket sitting by the porch. Katara's quiet exclamation of Cherry's waterbending was lost under Aangs concern.

"Are they okay?"

He seemed genuinely worried, eyebrows drawn together and fingers twitching like he wanted to do something to help them.

"Yeah, they're always like this. They love each other really, but for whatever reason this is how they choose to express it." He turned back to the kids, with a smile, suddenly itching to get his makeup off his face.

"C'mon, I'll introduce you properly! Joe'll probably want to feed you and if Cherry offers you tea you should definitely accept, he makes the best tea."

120 notes · View notes

yelena-bellova · 3 years

Text

Don't Be Afraid: Poe Dameron x Solo!Reader - Chapter Thirty One

Chapter Thirty One: Hide and Secrets

Plot: Reeling from the loss of Chewbacca, the group travels to Kijimi in hopes of retrieving a vital piece of information...

Series Masterlist

Warnings: graphic description of violence/injuries, violent intrusive thoughts, blood, language, choking, we're not here to have a good time people so lots of angst today,

Word Count: 7.2k

A/N: Even though the rest of the series is going to be brutal, this is the last episode where there's even a little bit of a breather. Related to that, we're so close to the end and I'm not sure how to process that 🥺 Hope you enjoy!!

----

When I finally dried my tears and went about summoning the same strength I had when losing Dad and my uncle, I exited the refresher. Finn and Rey stood in the main hold, Rey jumped to her feet, rubbing her typically sweaty palms against her pants.

“Y/n,” she quickly said, “I know that it will never be enough, but I-“ “Rey,” I held up two hands as I stopped in front of my distraught friend, “It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know you could do that, right?” She rapidly shook her head, “No, I had no idea.” “Then,” I sadly shrugged my shoulders, “I can’t be mad at you, you’d have never meant to hurt Chewie.” The tears in her eyes still welled regardless of my forgiveness. “I really am sorry,” she whispered, her throat catching with sorrow.

I pulled her into my arms and the two of us embraced, sharing in what little comfort could be taken in the moment. The unsettling feeling of secrecy was what caused me to pull back, my hands still rested on Rey’s shoulders as I scanned her face.

“There’s something you’re not telling me,” I stated, watching as her eyes became fearful before turning my gaze to Finn, “The same goes for you. What's going on?” Rey’s mouth opened and closed a couple times, whether a truth or a lie had been building on her lips was a loss to find out as Poe marched out of the cockpit. “We’ve only got eight hours left, so what are we gonna do?”

“This isn’t over,” I whispered to Rey, dropping my hands and turning to the group. “What can we do?” Finn said hopelessly, “We gotta get back to base.”

“We don’t have time to go back,” Poe argued, “We are not giving up. If we do that, Chewie died for nothing.” “Poe, Chewie had the dagger,” Finn replied.

I spoke up, “Yeah, but there has to be some other way.”

“Well, there isn’t,” Finn responded, “That was the only clue to the wayfinder thing and it’s gone.” I frustratedly rubbed my hands over my face and left them there, our problems were no easier to face in the self-inflicted darkness.

“So true,” 3PO said from the corner he stood in, “The inscription lives only in my memory now.”

I spread two of my fingers for my eyes to peek out, “Come again?" “The inscription of the dagger is stored in my memory banks,” he answered, “But the translation from a forbidden language cannot be retrieved. That is short of a complete redacted memory bypass.”

“A complete what?” Finn asked.

“It’s a terribly dangerous and sinful act performed on unwitting droids by dregs and criminals,” 3PO replied, turning away as if the whole idea was entirely out of the question.

Finn’s head whipped to Poe and I, “Let’s do that!” Determined as ever, Poe’s eyes sparked that familiar flame once again. “I know a black market droidsmith.” “Black market droidsmith?” 3PO echoed incredulously.

“But he’s on Kijimi,” Poe said, throwing his head back defeatedly. “What’s wrong with Kijimi?” I asked.

“I had a little bad luck on Kijimi,” Poe made every effort to not look any of us in the eye, “But if this mission fails, it’s all been for nothing. All we’ve done, all this time…” he finally looked up at me, nudging my arm with one of his gloved fingers, “3PO’s your and Leia’s droid, you’re the only one here that can give permission to do this.” I sighed and looked over at the droid I was so used to disappointing throughout my life. “We can’t quit now,” I said, “For Chewie.” Finn rose from his seat and nodded confidently before taking my hand, “For Chewie.”

Rey, who still looked every bit as guilty as she thought she should be, stood next and took Finn’s outstretched hand. “For Chewie.”

Poe looked down at my empty hand and back up at me, I held it out for him signaling that we weren’t currently at the odds we had been the last time we’d spoken. The warmth of his palm radiated through his leather glove and he ever so slightly squeezed, the only comfort he could provide me with in such a desperate hour. I’d take whatever I could get.

3PO shuffled over to us, taking Poe’s other hand in his in silent agreement with my decision. At the gesture, Poe visibly became uncomfortable, the list of people he was okay with being openly affectionate with began and ended with me. “Kijimi!” he announced, letting go off both our hands and heading back for the cockpit.

I wasn’t far behind, assuming the role of copilot as I sat down next to him. “You’ve never mentioned Kijimi, not even once,” I said, awaiting his answer that wasn’t going to come, “What are you hiding from me, Dameron?”

My question was enough to drag his eyes away from the controls to meet mine, a look I couldn’t decipher in them. He wasn’t fearful, he wasn’t angry, but he certainly didn’t appreciate me bringing up whatever misfortune he’d run into on Kijimi. “Thrusters a go?” he asked, ignoring my curiosity.

As I mumbled my confirmation, I settled into my chair at great unease knowing that I wasn’t the only one keeping secrets from my friends. We all were.

——

Kijimi was cold and unforgiving, much like the stormtroopers that roamed the planet’s streets.

The First Order was banging on every door and questioning every life form they could. All of us, save Poe, were hidden on one side of a building, waiting for my boyfriend to return from scouting out the territory for a safe path to wherever it was we were going. His jacketed figure finally made its way back to our group, I could see his frown even with the terrible lighting. “They’re everywhere,” he reported, “All right, I know what we should do.” “So do I,” 3PO interrupted, “We should leave.”

I placed a hand over where the droid’s mouth would be if he were human, “Now is not the time.” “Follow me,” Poe ordered, leading us down the street towards our unknown destination. Though only unknown to us, Poe navigated the way with as much ease as he did the jungle of Ajan Kloss. He’d clearly spent a lot of his time on Kijimi. “All right,” he stopped our group against another wall, “Let’s head down this way.”

A cocked blaster pressed against his head stopped any further movement.

“Heard you were spotted at Monk’s Gate,” a modulated female voice said, “Thought, ‘He’s not stupid enough to come back here.’” “Oh, you’d be surprised,” Poe replied, his voice somehow audibly displaying both nervousness and cockiness.

The blaster I kept on my hip was off its holster and in my hand with speed that even surprised me. “I don’t know who the hell you are, but it’s in your best interest to lower the gun,” I said, my voice steely as I aimed my weapon at the gold helmet the woman wore.

“What’s going on?” Finn asked, one step behind me and ready to fight if necessary for Poe’s life. “Guys, this is Zorii,” Poe awkwardly made introductions, the barrel of the blaster still against his temple, “Zorii, this is Rey and Finn and,” he blindly gestured to me, “That’s Y/n.”

“I could pull this trigger right now,” Zorii threatened. “I’ve seen you do worse,” Poe replied quickly. “For a lot less…” “Can we just…” in a bold move, Poe turned and removed his hood, sporting the smallest smirk as he cautiously eyed the woman, “Talk about this?” “I wanna see your brains in the snow…” Zorii answered, not taking kindly to his diplomacy.

“You make one move and I’ll give everybody a display of just that,” I growled, ignoring both the Jedi way and my wondering just how well Poe knew this woman, there was an ease between their back and forth that stirred an almost jealous feeling in me…

“So you’re still mad?” Poe asked, “Zorii, we could use your help. We gotta crack this droid’s head open and fast.” An indignant 3PO spoke up, “Pardon me!” Poe ignored him, “We’re trying to find Babu Frik.” “Babu? Babu only works for the crew,” Zorii answered, seemingly unthreatened by my steady hand and pointed blaster, “That’s not you anymore.”

“What crew?” Rey asked.

My eyes flicked to Poe, watching him shake his head rapidly before silently admitting defeat to the truth Zorii couldn’t be stopped from sharing. “Funny, he never mentioned it…your friend’s old job was running spice.”

“You were a spice runner?” Finn asked, almost as surprised as I was.

Poe was quick to deflect the unflattering light that was being shed on him, “You were a stormtrooper?” “Were you a spice runner?” Rey echoed the question.

“Were you a scavenger? We could do this all night.” “You don’t have all night,” Zorii said as she began to stalk around us, her blaster still trained on Poe, “You know I’m still digging out of the hole you put me in when you left to join the Resistance,” her head tilted in Rey’s direction before looking back at me, “You two. You’re the ones they’re looking for. Bounty for them might just cover us.” I didn’t have to look over my shoulder to know that the two bodies that had followed Zorii were slowly making their way towards us, I met Rey’s eyes quickly and gave an almost imperceptible nod.

“Djak’kankah!” Zorii shouted. “Don’t djak’kankah,” Poe hurried from beside me.

In synch, Rey pulled her staff out from behind her back and I tossed my blaster to Finn to unsheathe my lightsaber. Rey knocked Zorii to the ground while I made work of fatally damaging Zorii’s comrade’s weapons. Within seconds, they’d all been taken care of and I turned to see Rey had her saber pointed at Zorii’s body with the latter aiming their gun at my fellow padawan.

“We could really use your help,” Rey said, nicer than I could have ever been in such a situation, “Please.” “Not that you care,” Zorii said, her chest heaving from the fight as she looked between the both of us, “But I think you’re alright.” “I care,” Rey replied, deactivating her blade and extending a hand to Zorii.

“Quit threatening him” I said, nodding towards a slightly stunned Poe, “And we won’t have a problem.” Zorii, in fact, proved to be anything but a problem. She led us down a back way to a trader’s den, confidently marching in as if she owned the place. For all I knew, maybe she did. I didn’t know the woman or how she knew my boyfriend, whom it seemed I also didn’t know. Poe had kept an entire chunk of his life hidden from me all the years that I’d known him and something about that hurt. However, with 3PO hooked up to a multitude of wires, I was trying my best to focus on the matters at hand. “I haven’t the faintest idea why I agree to this,” the droid said from his seated position, “I must be malfunctioning,” Babu Frik, the little alien that Poe had known once upon a time worked on one of 3PO’s wires, causing him to repeat himself, “I must be malfunctioning.”

“You agreed to this because it’s our only option,” I said from my spot next to him, “You do this and you’re a hero to the galaxy.” “Babu Frik?” Rey asked the small droid mechanic, “Can you help us with this?’ He gave an answer in a language none of us could understand, causing Rey to look elsewhere for a translation. “Zorii? Is this gonna work?” Zorii moved from her position on the steps with Poe, the two of them having warmed up to each other a little too fast for my liking. She posed a question in Babu Frik’s tongue, the creature answering back in his naturally slow manner. “He says he’s found something in your droid’s forbidden memory bank. Words translated from Sith.” “That’s it!” I exclaimed, patting 3PO’s metal shoulder. “Yeah, that’s what we need,” Finn echoed my excitement from behind Rey and I.

“Who are you hanging out with that speaks Sith?” Zorii questioned Poe, who was making his way down to stairs to come into the same space. “Babu, can you make him translate it?” he asked.

Babu answered.

“Yes,” Zorii translated, “But it will cause a complete-“ “A complete memory wipe,” 3PO finished.

My eyes widened, “A what?”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Poe held up a hand, “We make him translate it, he won’t remember…anything?”

“Droid memory go blank,” Babu answered, speaking enough of our language to confirm Poe’s question, “Blank, blank.” “There must be another way!” 3PO exclaimed, I was still too in shock to form words. “Doesn’t R2 back up your memory?” Finn asked.

“Oh, please, R2’s storage units are famously unreliable.”

“No,” I finally found my voice and announced it to the room, “I’m calling it. We’re not doing this, I’m sorry, but we’re gonna have to find another way.” “Y/n…” Poe started, carefully tiptoeing around the impending explosion of emotions I was about to have. “Nope, not happening,” I continued, “I’m not losing anyone else. Babu, thank you for your time, start putting him back together.” Rey gently grasped my arm, “Y/n…” 3PO, for all his shortcomings, was one of the steadiest presences in my life. He hadn’t been just a faithful servant to me and my family, he’d been my most dependable friend. There had been too many losses in the Resistance in the past year and fresh off of Chewie’s death, I wasn’t prepared to let another piece of my family go.

And if the very fate of the galaxy didn’t depend on getting the damned inscription, I’d have allowed myself to be selfish.

Slowly turning away from Rey, I came to stand in front of where 3PO sat hooked up to Babu’s machines. “Do we have a choice in this?” I asked softly, my mouth suddenly feeling unreasonably dry.

The droid processed for a moment before rising from his seat and taking a few steps away from us. “If this mission fails, it was all for nothing. All we’ve done, all this time…” 3PO turned and faced our group, staring silently at us all.

“What are you doing there, 3PO?” Poe asked.

“Taking one last look, sir,” he answered, “At my friends.”

I shut my eyes, my wet lashes dropping a tear or two down my cheeks as the sentiment hit me. “Go ahead,” I whispered, giving Babu the authority to do what needed to be done.

Noise from outside broke the moment. “Night raids are gonna start soon,” Zorii stated, “I’ll keep lookout.”

“I’m coming with you,” Poe said, chasing after her departing figure in a surprising turn of events. I dragged my tearful eyes away from my soon to be amnesic droid to my boyfriend who wasn’t sparing any glances my way.

“You still don’t trust me?” Zorii asked.

“Did you ever trust me?” my boyfriend fired back as they climbed the staircase together.

“Nope.” My eyes remained trained on the last spot where Poe had been visible to me before he disappeared with the mystery woman. It didn’t matter, the hurt and anger I felt with Poe for leaving me as I readied myself to say goodbye to 3PO wouldn’t change with knowing their history together. But damn it all if I didn’t want to slap Poe a little for not choosing to stay with me rather than go with Zorii. I could feel Rey and Finn’s concerned eyes through the back of my head, I didn’t have to turn around to showcase my jealousy.

“It’s fine,” I lied, clenching my fists at my sides, “He can do whatever the hell he wants, we’ve got bigger concerns.” I walked back over to where 3PO was once again seated, Babu already preparing him for the procedure. “Thanks for…” I wrapped two arms around the gold droid’s neck, “Everything.”

One metal arm patted my back awkwardly, hugs weren’t exactly something we typically exchanged. “You are most welcome, Mistress Y/n. Your companionship had brought me a great many joys throughout our years together.” There was nothing more to be said, or rather there was so much more and not enough time to say it. I backed away to let Babu do his work and stepped to the side, occupying the space next to Finn and keeping a watchful eye as the creature began to operate on my droid. Bee and D-O, the abandoned droid Bee had discovered and activated on the ship, watched from the opposite side of the room as well. Minutes went by without a word, the only sound in the room was Babu’s tools picking and prodding at the inside of 3PO’s head.

“Oh, I just had an idea,” 3PO eventually said, “There’s something else we could try-“ We’d never know what he’d been thinking as Babu hit the correct circuit and 3PO lost power. Finn reached a hand around my back to land on my shoulder as I flinched, the sight of him switched off not by his own accord a little hard on me. Rey took the time to excuse herself and push past us, going to check on Bee and D-O.

“You don’t have to watch, y’know…” Finn said, “If it’s too much…” “No,” I shook my head, my eyes still on the droid whose loyalty I could only hope to match, “I’m staying with him.” There was a pregnant pause between the two of us before Finn took a breath, “Can I ask you a question?” “I’ll answer yours if you answer mine…” I replied.

“What’s going on with you and Poe?” I sighed and crossed my arms, taking a defensive position as if I could shield myself from the reality of the topic. “Nothing good…” I answered, “Things have been rough lately.” Taking his time to handle the weight of my answer, he couldn’t stop himself from asking a followup. “You guys are gonna be okay though, right?”

Emotions had run high all day, the moment we were in was no exception. I’d liked to have blamed the tears that stung my eyes on saying goodbye to 3PO, but I couldn’t lie to myself. Poe and I were drifting apart and that struck a deeper fear in me than I’d ever known.

I cleared my throat, the thought of admitting my feelings out loud wasn’t one I was ready to handle. “Sorry, no follow ups. My turn…What’s your secret?” I’d hit the target just as I’d intended to, though I still wasn’t sure what I was searching for. Whatever it was, I could sense that Finn was desperate to tell somebody. “I can’t…I can’t tell you here,” he finally relented from secrecy in its entirety, “Later.”

Nodding in response, I watched him leave to go find where Rey and the droids had wandered off to. I stayed silent as I watched Babu try to access whatever apart of 3PO’s circuits the inscription lay in. I decided that once we returned to our ship, I’d try to get word to Mom and give her an update. She was undoubtably worried by now and she didn’t need to wonder any longer than necessary.

The hatch at the top of the staircase opened to reveal Zorii and Poe. “There’s an incoming destroyer,” Zorii announced.

“We gotta go now, did we get it?” Poe asked.

“Wouldn’t have to ask if you’d have stayed,” I mumbled to myself, just loud enough that he could possibly hear it. “Babu?” “Yep, droid is ready!” Babu answered back, making one final adjustment to 3PO to make the droid’s eyes turn red and his torso to sit straight up. I jumped back at the unsettling sight.

“The Emperor’s wayfinder is in the Imperial vault,” a voice that definitely didn’t belong to the beloved droid informed us, “At delta 3-6, transient 9-3-6, variant 3-2 on a moon in the Endor system. From the southern shore. Only this blade tells. Only this blade tells.” With an exclaim, Babu shut 3PO off again and he fell back in his chair.

“The Endor system,” Finn said, “Where the last war ended?”

An overhead rumbling that shook the ceiling of the workshop caused us all to look up, Rey was only slightly ahead of me as we made our way up the stairs fearlessly to open the hatch. The average being wouldn’t have been able to tell the ominous Star Destroyer having in the sky apart from any other, but Rey and I weren’t average. “It’s him…” I muttered.

“Ren’s Destroyer.” “He’s here?” Poe asked from below. I was suddenly struck with an overwhelming sensation, different than the empathetic pain I felt when one was injured or the unfortunate attacks I’d been suffering from lately. This was warmth and familiarity and…family.

“Rey,” I stuck a hand out and blindly reached for her, “It’s Chewie.” Sensing the same thing I was, she repeated his name hopefully.

“What about him?” Finn asked. “He’s on the ship” I answered, my voice cracking with emotion, “He’s alive.” “What? How?” Poe asked in disbelief.

“He’s alive!” Rey exclaimed, “He must’ve been on a different transport.” “We gotta go get him,” Finn stated, as if it wasn’t what we were all thinking.

I bounded down the steps with a newfound joy, something I’d thought was impossible to find in our situation. “No time to waste, let’s pack it up!” I said, moving around Zorii towards 3PO. As soon as I landed at the droid’s side, he sat up. “Might I introduce myself,” he said, “I am C-3PO, human cyborg relations,” he looked around the room at the various faces, “And you are?” “Okay, that’s gonna be a problem,” Poe commented, pointing at the droid.

“Okay,” I rubbed my eyes out of stress before placing to hands on 3PO’s arm, “I promise I will explain everything to you but right now, we don’t have the time so I’m gonna need you to trust us. Now,” I bent down and grabbed his discarded coat, “Put this on and follow us.” “Trust you? When I don’t even know who you are? I don’t see-“ “I’m your master, okay?” I hurriedly pulled the protocol droid to his feet and started shoving his arms into the jacket, “And if you want to live, you’ll listen to me when I say we need to get the hell out of here.”

Begrudgingly, the droid followed along as our group hurried out of Babu Frik’s workshop and into the snowy streets of Kijimi. I could sense Ren’s incoming presence, causing me to urge us all to move faster.

“3PO, move your metal ass!” Poe said frustratedly as we closed in on where our ship was parked, “We’re almost there.” “How dare you,” he exclaimed, “We’ve only just met!” Rey, Finn, the droids and I rushed between two buildings before I noticed that Poe and Zorii had hung behind. I stopped and watched the two share an exchange I couldn’t make out, Zorii shoved something into Poe’s hand just before I heard the sound of a ship overhead. Ren.

“We need to go!” I shouted annoyedly, when Poe made no effort to end their conversation, I rolled my eyes and shoved Rey and Finn forward, “Go, he’ll catch up.” We made our way to the ship and loaded in, I seated myself in the pilot’s chair, taking it upon myself to get us where we needed to be. Poe eventually made his way to the cockpit just as I was making the final checks.

“Nice of you to finally join us, Dameron,” I retorted as I lifted us off the ground, “I’m sure making chit chat with old flames was more important than getting our asses off this snowy wasteland.”

Poe tossed a coin shaped token into my lap without a word, I picked it up and upon inspection identified it as a First Order captain’s medallion. It was a surefire way to get us aboard the Destoryer when there’d previously been no plan. Connecting the dots that it was Zorii who had given it to him, I decided it was in everybody’s best interest if I stopped talking.

Once we made it up to the meaning ship, a First Order officer came over the comms and asked for our identification. I slipped the medallion into the slot with Poe, Finn and Rey anxiously positioned around me. We all held our breath as we awaited confirmation that we’d been granted passage. I exhaled forcefully when the message came through, “We’re clear, hanger 12.” Together, and yet entirely separate, Poe and I navigated the ship into the designated landing zone without any problems. I jumped out of my seat and threw my snow jacket off. Ren was still on Kijimi, clearly unable to sense that we were no longer there, which would buy us time. Not much, but hopefully enough to retrieve Chewie and chart a course to Endor safely.

The four of us bounded down the ramp of the ship and fired our blasters at the stormtroopers demanding our credentials plus a few that waited from a distance. “You three, stay there!” Rey ordered the droids.

“Happily!” 3PO called back. “Which way?” Poe asked Finn, the only one of us who had a decent shot at navigating the foreign ship.

“No idea,” he disappointedly answered, “Follow me!” We obeyed his command and let him lead on, we maneuvered down a great many hallways as stealthily as we could. Eventually once we heard the marching footsteps of a group of troopers, we ducked between panels that stuck out of the wall and hid till they passed. We darted out and made our way down another hall, taking cues from Finn, until we turned around to come face to face with two stormtroopers.

“Drop your weapons!” one of them ordered. While Finn and Poe immediately held out their hands for the troopers to see, Rey took a brave step forward. “It’s okay that we’re here,” she said smoothly, waving a hand in a semi circle.

A beat of silence passed before the stormtroopers lowered their weapons obediently, “It’s okay that you’re here.” “It’s good…”

“You’re relieved that we’re here,” I added, waving my hand in a matching manner.

“Thank goodness you’re here.” “Welcome, guys.” “We’re looking for a prisoner and his belongings,” Rey continued, the supposed guards giving up the information all too willingly. We wasted no time in leaving them behind and making for where they’d said Chewie’s was. Upon finding out the specific type of cell he was being held in was meant for torture, I strode with a new urgency.

“They said Chewie’s this w-“ I started, before losing all words and clutching the wall as the familiar splitting pain entered my head.

The flames had grown closer.

The screams echoed louder.

A well known animalistic cry filled my ears.

With a blood red lightsaber in my hand extended, I turned to see Chewbacca’s body laid out on the ground, his chest rising and falling deathly slow, lightsaber wounds marking his hairy body.

“Don’t be afraid,” the deep voice of Ren came from behind me, “You know exactly what you’re capable of.” I bit down on my lip so hard that I could taste blood in an attempt to stifle the scream that was trying its hardest to escape my mouth. The pain couldn’t die fast enough once the attack ceased, Ren’s voice still echoing in my mind like it was a cavern. “Y/n,” Poe was quick to steady me as my legs went out from underneath me, “Are you okay? What the hell was that?” Another secret was what it was. I’d managed to keep my hellish conscious nightmares hidden from him over the last few months. “I’m f-fine,” I panted, shrugging off his helpful hands as I rose to my feet shakily, “Finn,” I waved my blaster towards the control panel, “The doors.” He listened to me and went to work on unlocking them, I ignored Poe’s sudden concern for me and focused on Rey, who had separated herself from us. “What is it?” I asked in between heaving breaths, my heart rate sky high as the images of my dead friend still danced in my head.

“The dagger is on this ship,” she said, “We need it.” “Why?” Poe asked as he approached her, I stayed leaned up against the wall. “A feeling,” Rey answered, “I’ll meet you back at the hanger.” “I’m coming with you,” I stated, pushing off the wall in a sad attempt to follow after her.

“Y/n, you can barely walk, you need to get back to the ship,” Poe said, catching my forearm in his hand in hopes I wouldn’t slip out of his grasp. “You’re not in charge of me, Poe,” I bit back at him a little harsher than called for as I pulled my arm out of his grip and started off in Rey’s direction, “You two go and get Chewie.” Poe frustratedly sighed, “Look, I’m just trying to help you.” “Yeah, well,” I turned and locked eyes with him, “Don’t.” Without waiting see his reaction and before I had the sense to apologize for my hurtful words, I turned away and stumbled after Rey. Eventually I caught up to her and the two of us jogged through the Destroyer. I trusted that she knew where she was going, unlike my distrust of the nightmare’s physical effects on me. It had never happened before and the worry I felt was more than justified.

Almost as soon as I regained the ability to run and feel like my legs weren’t going to fail me, the air I breathed was sucked out of my lungs and I let out a stifled cry. Someone nearby had gotten injured. “Was it one of them?” Rey asked, concern overwhelming her tone. “It must’ve been,” I replied, bracing my hands against my knees and inhaling deeply, “But they’re okay. C’mon, we gotta go.” “They’re getting worse,” she said, broaching the topic I wanted so desperately to avoid, “Your attacks.”

“We’re not talking about this right now,” I snapped, my patience slipping away quicker than I could control, “I’m fine, now let’s go.”

We made the rest of the journey in silence, if my head wasn’t in such a fog I would have felt sorry for how I’d reacted to the care Rey and Poe had tried to show me. My logic felt buried beneath my fear, my guilt over a crime I hadn’t actually committed clouding my mind. It had been so vivid, Chewie laid out on the ground with a lightsaber hole burning through his sternum. My reasoning for leaving Finn and Poe to rescue the Wookiee had been twofold, not only would Rey need my help if she’d sensed something, but I didn’t want to go near Chewie at the moment.

Rey and I stepped through a door to a pure white room, a stark contrast to the dark color scheme of the rest of the ship. Descending the steps, I scanned the room for Chewie’s belongings but found something I’d never expected to lay eyes on. Rey saw it too, both of us taking slow and curious steps towards it.

The charred remnants of Darth Vader’s helmet.

I could feel the darkness, the pain associated with the armor and was lost as to how it could possibly have survived. How could it have ended up here? Anakin’s body, as my mother had told me once, had been burned on Endor at the end of the war by Luke. It was impossible, but our lives were made up of impossible so perhaps it wasn’t so imperceivable.

Turning away from the helmet, Rey and I spotted Chewie’s bandoleer, his bowcaster and the dagger. Rey grabbed the dagger while I took the other items and slung them over my shoulder, my friend stared down at the dagger and it didn’t take Jedi skills to sense her confusion, her fear. “What is it?” I asked quietly, not wanting to startle her out of whatever daze she was in. Regardless of my efforts, she jumped with a gasp and whipped around to face the empty expanse of the room. “Rey?”

Her brown eyes were locked onto something that wasn’t there, at least not to me. “You’re hard to get rid of…” she said, her voice low.

“Excuse me?” I furrowed my brow, confused as she turned back to the task at hand of gathering Chewie’s objects, “What-“

She stayed silent except for the sound of her lightsaber activating, she faced the room once again with anger painted across her features. “You’re lying…” she seethed.

It didn’t take me long to figure out what was transpiring before me, it was the force bond Rey had told me so much about. We had researched it, pouring over the Jedi texts for any possible answer as to why her and Ren were seemingly tied to one another. We’d been unsuccessful so far and Rey had been forced to experience unexpected connections with him. It was surreal to watch it take place, some conversation taking place in a realm I couldn’t enter with the person I’d been trying to reach for months.

“I don’t want this,” Rey said through her tears before letting out a cry and wielding the saber in a battle with the air. She froze as if her weapon had hit something, possibly Ren’s blade. I wanted nothing more than to jump into the fight and aid her as she broke away from her opponent. “Stop talking,” she demanded before continuing the fight. My hands were metaphorically tied behind my back and all I could do was stand there and wait for the moment to end.

My gut twisted as I got the distinct feeling that something was wrong on the other side of the ship, Finn and Poe were in danger. I couldn’t be in both places at once helping everybody and that killed me. If Rey and Ren’s connection didn’t break soon, I’d have to make the call to run like hell through the ship and find the others.

“Rey, we need to go,” I called, loud enough to hopefully break through her concentration.

“No!” she yelled, once again not directed at me. She expertly swung her lightsaber around, accidentally driving it into the pedestal and shattering the stand that displayed Vader’s helmet. Unfortunately, the fight still didn’t come to its end and Rey and the metaphysical Ren continued their assault on one another until eventually, Rey stumbled backwards signaling that the connection had been broken.

I came to her side, “What did he say?”

“He’s coming,” Rey answered, not quite present as she absorbed whatever he had told her.

“Shit,” I breathed, it wouldn’t take him long to get from Kijimi to the ship, “We need to go.”

Carrying Chewie’s things, we retraced our steps back to the ship as fast as we could. Suddenly faced with the reality of being in Ren’s presence, I wasn’t sure how I felt. All I knew for certain was we needed to find Poe and Finn immediately and leave before I discovered my true feelings. We made it back to the hanger and found the droids surrounded by troopers interrogating them. I aimed Chewie’s bowcaster at them and took out two while Rey disposed of the rest with her own blaster.

“Oh dear, my first laser battle,” 3PO commented, astonished. Had we not been in such a rush, I made have spared a second to laugh.

“Where are the others?” Rey urgently asked.

“They haven’t come back,” he answered.

“You two stay here,” I pointed towards the spacecraft as I began to step away from them, “I’m gonna go find them.” It was wasted effort, the familiar sound of Ren’s TIE Interceptor came roaring into the hanger. I froze in my spot the short distance away from Rey and the droids, knowing that where I needed to be had been decided for me.

“Find them,” Rey said to 3PO.

He scurried over to me and I placed the bowcaster and Chewie’s bandoleer in the his care, sending him on his way to retrieve Finn and Poe with D-O and Bee at his feet. I turned my attention to the figure emerging from the Interceptor, Rey stood directly across from him while I split the difference between them. My better judgement told me not to extend my lightsaber, that it wasn’t going to be that kind of fight. I needed to wait for the right moment. Even as the battalion of stormtroopers descended into the hanger, I kept my weapon holstered. I was apprehended by two of them, the long-standing fight for my capture finally over. As they pulled me back and handcuffed my wrists, I held eye contact with Ren, or at least where his eyes lay underneath his helmet. This was the closest we’d been the one another since our fight on Crait. The sick familiarity of him was anything but comforting, and yet there was a part of me that needed to hear him speak. He’d gone dark on me for too long and I needed to know what was going on in his head.

He shifted his focus to Rey, the two of them circling one another in some sort of silent showdown. Finally, they stopped, Rey closest to the edge of the hanger where with one miscalculated step, she could meet an unfortunate end. “Why did the Emperor come for me?” she asked, succeeding in confusing me, “Why did he want to kill a child? Tell me.” “Because he saw what you would become,” Ren answered, “You don’t just have power. You have his power. You’re his granddaughter. You are a Palpatine.”

It seemed like to world stopped for a minute, everything we were fighting for and against was swept away with the wind like stray grains of sand on Tatooine. Shock wasn’t a strong enough word to describe what I was feeling, my chest constricting and my mind spinning. It couldn’t be true.

“My mother was the daughter of Vader,” Ren began.

I couldn’t stand to listen to him soil the legacy of the woman I loved most in the galaxy, “You don’t breathe a word about-“ My rage was slayed as soon as it had been born as a nearby Stormtrooper drove the butt of his blaster into my abdomen, causing me to cough and choke as oxygen was forcefully knocked from my body. I groaned at the spreading pain, clenching my eyes shut while trying to still listen to the conversation happening in front of me.

“Your father was the son of the Emperor,” Ren continued his speech, “What Palpatine doesn’t know is we’re a dyad in the Force, Rey. Two that are one. We’ll kill him together and take the throne.”

“Rey,” I breathed, fighting through the throbbing pain in my abdomen, “He’s lying, don’t listen to him.” Ren blindly reached an open hand behind him and closed off my airways, choking me from afar and effectively shutting me up. “You know what you need to do,” he said, turning back to Rey and ignoring the sounds of struggle I was making to construct any sort of breath I could.

Words couldn’t be formed but I mentally urged Rey, begged her not to listen to the utter shit Ren was feeding her. As my vision began to grow grainy, I heard the faint sounds of the Falcon, my beloved ship, and was convinced that death was calling me. But as I opened my bloodshot eyes and witnessed her make a grand arrival, I felt new life surge through me. The pilot, undoubtably Poe, backed up to the edge of the hanger and hit the thrusters, sending a wave of energy into the room that caused each Stormtrooper to slide across the floor. Ren dropped his hold on me and I took my first wheezy breath just as the two troopers holding me in position lost their grip on my body. I moved against the currents until I was parallel with Rey, Finn was standing on the Falcon’s ramp ready to rescue us. Rey was the first to jump, sending Ren one last look that I couldn’t understand before she leapt into the air and Finn pulled her in.

I turned to the Supreme Leader, my hands cuffed in front of me, and my will as strong as ever. He’d invaded my mind countless times since he’d reestablished our connection through the Force, for once we were going do things on my terms. “I want you to look in my head and tell me what you see,” I shouted over the noise of the ship, he was a little too eager to accept the invitation. Once he was in, I filled my brain with every image I had of my grandfather, stating with each and every thought that I was a Kenobi. I was now an even bigger threat to him and his regime. When I reopened my eyes, I took satisfaction in the surprise painted across his pale face. For once, Kylo Ren was speechless. I gave a breathless smirk before turning around and jumping off the edge of the platform, Rey assisted in pulling me in by way of the Force while Finn caught me. The three of us ran up the ramp and into the heart of the ship.

“Rey, don’t-“ I began, trying to preemptively pull my friend out of the blame she was inevitably going to place on herself because of her recently discovered lineage. It was of no use, she stormed off away from Finn and I as quick as she could to process the news privately. Finn was confused and I didn’t have the time or the right to explain the situation to him. “Bee, help get me out of these,” I called, the little droid speedily rolling down the hall at my command and following me to the cockpit. When I arrived, I found Poe and Chewie sending us to lightspeed. I should have wanted to throw my arms around the Wookiee, had I been able to, but after my nightmarish attack wherein I had been responsible for his gruesome death, I felt the need to keep my distance. I should have wanted to run to Poe, to take comfort in his embrace as I recounted what had happened while we were separated. All I felt when I looked at him currently was frustration.

“Are you okay?” I asked, even my anger couldn’t override my concern for his wellbeing.

“Fine,” he replied coldly, not bothering to look my way as he finished up with the controls of the Falcon, “You?” He was lying. I could see crimson red on his arm staining his cream colored shirt. He was the one I’d sensed got hurt. I wanted to help him in any way I could but I suspected he was being refusing my help in retaliation for me refusing his. I swallowed, ignored the pain from my already bruising abdomen and sat down to let Bee work on removing my cuffs, “Fine.” Oh, how badly I wanted to tell him that things were so very far from fine.

----

A/N: If you thought this was bad, just wait for the next chapter...(sorry not sorry 🙈) Let men now if you'd like to be tagged and as always, thanks for reading!!

Taglist: @m1rkw00dpr1ncess @springfox04 @constantdisgrace @holybatflapexpert @seninjakitey @tammythompson-singslikea-muppet @leilei-draws @eternal-fandoms @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @imaginecrushes @eternallyvenus @thescarletknight2014 @simplybarnes @captain-america5 @breyasficletblog @caseymcflurry @stumbleonmywords @april-14-blog @i-ievu @ultrunning @desperatelytryingtosavemyself @caswinchester2000 @meraki-loki @lovinnholland @wishing4wishes @fruitloopzzz @bbuckysbeardd @justanotherblonde23 @ace-fiction @abysshaven @thisshitfucks @astudyoftimeywimeystuff @itsfangirlmendes @superbookishhufflepuff @zoriis @hybrid-in-progress @chloe-skywalker @lovinnoya @horsedragonllama @mads-weasley @maybeimart @damerondala @x-judyjude-x @dindjarinsspouse

Star Wars Permanent Taglist: @paintballkid711 @katrynec @caswinchester2000 @theliterarymess @softly-sad @angelicadameron

#poe dameron x reader #poe dameron x solo!reader #poe dameron imagine #star wars imagine

96 notes · View notes

avenger-hawk · 2 years

Note

Hello hawk. Do you get inspiration for your writing from books (actual "books", not fanfiction lol)? If so, what authors do you like? Hugs~

Hello. Tbh I’m kinda picky with books, not as much as with fanfiction lol but still I can’t enjoy some popular books ppl love. I don’t like long sagas for example, I get bored with fantasy in general and I dislike very wordy books with looong descriptions of the smallest details of the characters’ clothes and food. I couldn’t read the A Song Of Ice And Fire books because of this.

I do like a wordy writer like Charles Dickens though. Not all his books cause some are really too victorian bordering on annoying, but I really liked A Tale of Two Cities and Our Mutual Friend. I read a lot of classics tbh especially as a teenager, as I discovered fandoms and fanfics later. I liked Jane Austen, she has a brilliant style, very ironic and not cheesy despite the sentimental theme. I also liked old gothic novels, they have some dark imagery, like Maturin’s Melmoth The Wanderer, Byron’s Manfred, M.G. Lewis’ The Monk. It was my final essay in school, even. All these novels would be ‘wrong’ by fandom bullshit moralism btw.

But that was my teenage literature phase, I think fondly of those books because of nostalgia, mostly, because I changed my taste for less plot oriented and more philosophical, abstract, surreal books. I also like short stories or short novels more than long stuff. The surreal and the fantastic work better with short stories imo.

A writer I liked as a teenager and like even now though is H. Hesse. He created a beautiful atmosphere in his books, like, you can literally feel the sun and trees and birds chirping, an at the same time they’re angsty. Especially Narcissus and Goldmund; I reread it recently and it’s even better than I remembered, it also had a strong gay vibe which doesn’t hurt lol. Or Demian, male friendship, kinda gay, very philosophical, and The Glass Bead Game and his short stories too. Also he was vegetarian, it’s a plus for me.

My favourite writer is J. L. Borges, I love how he creates fictional reviews of nonexistent books that he mixes with existent philosophers and writers, so when you read his short stories you are juggling between reality and fiction, reading fake academic works or you’re sinking in a story with a thin but amazing plot line where dream and reality are fused together, and reality is completely subjective. His concept of time is not linear, he’s from Argentina and he describes this amazing mix of cultures and influences, everything he writes is a masterpiece that you can feel it, elevates your mind. Genius. Especially The Lottery in Babylon (for me it’s also a metaphor of reincarnation) Tlön, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius , The Garden of Forking Paths (amazing, simply amazing) Funes the Memorious (this story and its theme is still haunting me tbh) and The Circular Ruins, I have no words to describe how much I love it.

I also love two Italian writers very much. I. Calvino, surreal, abstract, amazing. I highly recommend him to everyone cause he has been translated a lot in English speaking countries, like Invisible Cities, The Castle of Crossed Destinies (tarot lovers would like this one), If on a winter's night a traveler (all book lovers should read it).

D. Buzzati is amazing too, his short stories might be set in urban Italy but also in a nonspecified ancient Central Asia-ish spaces, with its vastity and mysterious (for us) culture, from Samarkand to the steppes. His writing is laconic, essential, but shows you everything you need to see and feel. His novel The Tartar Steppe is poetic and metaphoric, his short stories often deal with the mystery of death, in the same poetic metaphoric way. Unfortunately I didn’t find anything in English online, but I really recommend The Seven Messengers, it was the first story I read from him and still a favourite.

I also like M. Bulgakov very much, like Master and Margarita is such a cool book and so is Heart of a Dog. So much sarcasm, I love them.

I was too long maybe, recommending books. You asked if these books I love influenced my writing, I wish they did lol. As I write dark themes but I stopped reading that darkish stuff I can’t say they influenced me much. Anyway my writing style is quite essential and to the point, not only because English is not my mothertongue but also because of the writers I like.

I was slightly inspired by Borges’ The Circular Ruins for In Dreams, not directly but for certain themes related to subjective reality, and I quoted The Garden of the Forking Paths for Itachi’s pre-massacre state of mind in Victims of Peace.

I was slightly inspired by Hesse’s Narcissus and Goldmund for the setting (Northern European late Middle Ages) of a non-Naruto darkfic I wrote.

I think there might be more but I’m probably not aware of it.

#vivalarevolution #my writing #in dreams #victims of peace

12 notes · View notes

skellebonez · 3 years

Note

So apparently in JTTW, Baije kept trying to get the monk to say the thing that would activate the torture headband? According to a post I just saw anyway. So I'd like to prompt something where Monkie Kid era Monkey King and Pigsy are arguing, and Monkey King brings that up, because it's kind of /messed up/. Preferably with prompts 25 or 47 because those seem vaguely fluffy and I don't want it to end /sad/ plz?

There are multiple times in the book (though it happened more often early on) where Zhu Bajie took full advantage of how much Tripitaka trusted him and made Wukong’s day miserable because of it, he isn’t the middle brother for nothing! The two have a better relationship as the book goes on, but as an eldest sibling I can tell you... even if you're on good terms later, sometimes you still remember the ways they used to mess with you... also I went overboard. Very overboard. This is really long.

"You have until the count of three to remove your arms from my person, or so help me…!"/ “Tell me what you want me to do."

Things had been going so well... at least as well as could be expected given they had only really seen each other twice after 500 years of Sun Wukong vanishing.

Their first meeting, their initial reunion, wasn't so much a meeting and more "hey I'm here to help MK fight because things are actually really bad and I totally don't already know who two of you are" and then lots of saving the world without the time to talk to or call out his once elder brother before he ran off. Their second meeting was not long after, Wukong coming to check up on MK at the shop and "oh yeah uh I kinda know your boss Bud". Which. Nice job revealing his secret Wukong.

That was a very interesting conversation, explaining to MK that he was indeed The Zhu Bajie from the stories and yes Tang knew and no only Tang knew and no he did not want to talk about why this was kept secret. Then it devolved into MK insisting the two of them needed to hang out together and then questions about Sandy and then how it was so cool that his dad was friends with his mentor. The at first befuddled and then completely shocked expression on Wukong's face as he finally put two and two together made agreeing to MK's insistence so much easier.

Easier than being pogo'd to Flower Fruit Mountain and then being stuck there as MK ran off to do "hero stuff" with Mei, anyway. At first it was awkward, being shown around the mountain by a man who he had spent years of his life with and was clearly trying to not look uncomfortable at the time lost between them.

Then the monkeys attacked. Well. Less attacked, more jumped on Pigsy in sheer excitement. It only took a few seconds for Wukong to cackle and pull them off him with the care of a roughhouseing father. Some of them were just little ones barely new to the world (he didn't miss how much more careful Wukong was with them), but Pigsy recognized a few of the elder ones from the time he had come here to bring Wukong back after the... WBS and Wood Wolf... event.

He also didn't expect any of them to actually remember him or to see Wukong acting so positively parental in comparison to how he acted the last time he was here. It was strange, he knew the Monkey King could be caring and that he had changed on their journey and must have become different over their time apart, but this was a side he had never truely thought he would see from him ever before. And he couldn't help but chuckle a bit at that.

It was like a tension line was finally let slack. They didn't simply slide back into banter, but they were much more relaxed. Wukong pointed out where he had been training MK, showed him to where his house stood (Pigsy wondered if he ever tried to rebuild the palace that had burnt down long before he visited all those years ago, but did not dare to bring that up either). The house was much more modern than he had expected, even having full internet access and TV and a kitchen.

He would never tell anyone about the passionate 1 hour conversation they had about cooking when he realized Wukong picked it up as a hobby. No one will ever know their debate/rant on how to properly prepare dough for steaming and how so many people do it wrong.

At some point they ate a lunch Wukong had prepared, much better than Pigsy expected, and that's probably when it went downhill.

He'd made an offhanded joke about people who use too much seasoning. Wukong joked back, asking if his underseasoned cooking was up to Pigsy's standards. Pigsy had shoved the monkey on old reflex, not hard and not nearly enough to move him, saying if he wanted him to compliment his cooking he could have just asked like a good big brother.

That had started a friendly wrestling match, not unlike ones they had had before and that drew a crowed of monkeys excited to watch. That wrestling match turned more violent before Pigsy had realized it and somehow, some way, they started actually fighting. He yelled about how Wukong had no right to just make MK his sucessor. Wukong yelled about how he chose MK because he was the most qualified and capable person he found. Pigsy shot back that he barely knew him before training him and if he had even bothered to try knowing him he would have known he was Pigsy's kid and he was a shitty mentor. Wukong screamed at that, scaring off most of their audience with the volume, picking Pigsy up off the ground entirely with his arms pinned down.

"You take that back right now, Bajie!" Wukong hissed out in a dangerous tone, one Pigsy didn't give a single damn about heeding in his anger.

"You have until the count of three to remove your arms from my person, or so help me...!" Pigsy fought against Wukong's hold, scrambling for any kind of purchase he could get with his feet dangling off the ground.

"Or what, Bajie? What!? Are you going to find another fillet and tell MK the sutra for it this time!? Are you going to make him not trust me like you did Tripitaka!? ARE YOU!?"

The words made Pigsy stop, but it was Wukong's tone that made him try to turn back to look at him. He'd sounded angry before but now he sounded... genuinely upset. Not angry upset. Sad upset. "I wouldn't do that."

"You did before." Damn it. He really was sad upset...

"Yeah... Yeah, I did." Pigsy admitted with only slight hesitation as he looked at the ground beneath him. "I'm sorry. About how I acted back then. I made everything harder than needed. I made Master hurt you and you didn't deserve it. More often than I'd like to admit..." There was a beat of silence before he decided to take a chace with a question that would probably upset Wukong more. But he had to ask. "How... how painful was it?"

The two of them didn't move for a while, Pigsy just hanging limply until Wukong slowly leaned down and set his feet back on ground. His grip losened slighly, but he didn't let Pigsy go as he rested his forehead against the back of Pigsy's head with a sigh. "Very. Very painful. It... the way it... Bajie, I don't want to-"

"You don't have to," Pigsy interrupted, raising one of his arms now that he could move to grab and squeeze his wrist. "If 'very' is all you want to say, I get it. I'm sorry."

"You already said that."

"And I'll say it again because I mean it." Pigsy pulled away, Wukong’s grip weakened enough for him to without even the smallest fight, and turned around to face him.

He reached up, Wukong giving him an odd confused look as he placed his hands over and around his forehead. Realization dawned quickly and he tensed as Pigsy felt the almost imperceptible scars hidden under his well groomed fur. For the band to have been impactful enough to leave marks at all, let alone after all this time... some didn't feel like cuts or stretches, more like burns almost.

"I'm sorry too," Wukong said suddenly. "For being an ass. I wasn't exactly the greatest travel companion myself at times. And for... for disappearing."

"I already forgave ya for the stuff on the journey long ago," Pigsy said as he pulled his hands back and crossed his arms. "Couldn't sit right with myself if I held a grudge for what you did after the shit I pulled. But I appreciate the apology for up and vanishing. And uh, I'm sorry for calling you a shitty mentor."

"You better be!" Wukong chuckled, standing up straight with an awkward crooked smile. "But, you know, I could stand to be a better teacher. You weren't wrong when I said I don’t know enough about MK."

"I could tell you a few things," Pigsy offered. "Nothing personal, just like how we met and what his job is like. To make up for the. Everything."

"Hmn..." Wukong made a point to rub his chin in thought, clearly about to do something Pigsy wondered if they would both regret. "On one condition."

"Tell me what you want me to do," Pigsy sighed out, fully resigned for whatever the Monkey King was going to ask.

"Cook me dinner."

... that... was not what he expected at all. "That's it?"

"That's it!"

That wasn't near enough to make up for anything in Pigsy's mind... but if that’s what Wukong wanted he supposed that was a start.

#im rereading the book and rewatching osps videos #i added in enough references to a particular story i think #i know it 99.99% unlikely the fillet left any marks #let me have this for one fill #pigsy #monkey king #sun wukong #monkie kid #lego monkie kid #prompt fill

63 notes · View notes

paladin-of-nerd-fandom65 · 3 years

Text

Titanic Mothers (Mother’s Day 2021 Drabbles)

Dedicated to all Mothers in the world, whether by birth, adoption or otherwise. Take the time to wish the woman who helped you become the person you are a very blessed Mother’s Day.

Of course I cannot have done this without thanking my pen pals @lightdusk96 @mothnem @wisegirlandseaweedbrainforever @fireflyxrebel-writes @tarisilmarwen @bluerene and many others

So without further ado....

Arella Roth

The peaceful, serene and calming orange tinted skies of Azarath are in many ways are therapeutic sort to admire under. For Arella, they are a perfect sort of skies to step outside for a nice and simple meditation. The Monks’ efforts in freeing her mind and grief in light of the numerous....series of events surrounding her entire life, whether being her harsh childhood and especially her unfortunate encounter with that bastard of a devil known as Trigon the Terrible, all of it had truly done some wonders in giving her a chance to appreciate life though clearly that grief runs deep, requiring an additional amount of effort on her end to counter it.

As Arella assumes lotus position on the balcony and lights two candles to her sides, she closes her eyes. She begins steadying her breathing and clears her mind...no easy feat though sine almost about a few seconds into clearing it, the scepter of Trigon and her tyrant of mother start coming in. The harsh words of shame, the demonic laughter, those taunts, the curses, they all start piling onto her mind, no her soul all at once. Her breathing starts picking up speed. She must remember what the Monks taught her....peace...find her inner peace...find what makes her find said peace...then within the blackened and harsh void of darkness clouding her mind...Arella sees it. That peace, a tiny stream of white light...a small bird. The bird starts getting closer, it’s wings start opening, dispelling the black void surrounding her...

As her mind starts feeling the calming light clear it out, Arella peeks open her right eye very slightly, sure enough there she was. Her light, her inner peace, her white bird, her very daughter.

Little Rachel Roth, barely eight years of age as of now, was also in lotus position, practicing the very same meditation her mother was doing right now. She too looked at her meditating partner to her side and sure enough, both realize...’why stop now’ and both wordlessly give each other a small smile, a nod and both continue mediating.

Arella, upon closing her eye back, says, “Okay, Rachel, now repeat after me...”

“Yes, Mom”

“Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos....”

Marie Logan

“Garfield” Maire called out for maybe the fifth time, passing by the tall tree next their camper yet again.

Her six year old little explorer of a boy had a tendency to run off whenever he was bored. Thankfully, he’d never venture into the nearby jungles or savannas the Logans visit too far, he always keep relatively close to make sure he knows his way back safely. Still, as a mother, Marie has her fair share of concerns for his well being since who knows what kind of animals he can run into this time.

However, the fifth time calling for him appears being the charm as sure enough, she can hear the branches creaking and the leaves rustling above her. Looking upward, sure enough, there he was, climbing down the gigantic branches with such agility before finally landing safely right next to her. His blond hair and crisp green eyes shone brightly as Garfield beams to his equally smiling mother.

“Found anything up there my explorer?” Marie asked while picking her son into her arms.

“Nah”, Garfield replied, “plenty of birds like the manual said would ‘round here but they flew away”

“Well, must be cause they didn’t want to hear about Wicked Scary just yet”, Marie says lightly giggling while ruffling her son’s hair, “maybe they just didn’t wanna get it spoiled you know?”

Garfield sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, “Yeah, guess so.”

Dr. Elinore Stone

Fixing her goggles, Dr. Stone narrowed her eyes within them ever so slightly. Next to her, ten year old Victor was equally wearing goggles but also adorably having oven mittens on his hands while holding on tightly to the beaker of green fluid over the larger one with orange fluid.

It was ‘Take Your Kids to Work Day’ at STAR Labs and both Elinore and her husband Silas had taken their son over to both explore where his parents’ worked at and even take part in a family friendly activity like this one.

Lightly guiding her gloved hands over Vic’s, the two together start pouring the green fluid from the beaker the latter was carrying very slowly into the one with the orange substance. The chemical reaction from the larger beaker was almost immediate since it started changing into a multitude of bright colors and bubbling.

“Alright son”, Elinore exclaimed proudly as her son beamed to her happily, “I think you’d just be quite the perfect chemi...”

KA-BOOM!

The lab immediately filled with a light with still irradiating cloud of smoke so rapidly that Silas immediately opened the windows to let the air clear.

As the smoke cleared out safely, both Elinore and Victor were thankfully completely fine aside the black soot covering their faces, their hair standing up embarrassingly, all the while Vic still holding onto that plastic beaker in his hands, muttering with a chuckle, “or not.”

Empress Luand’r of Planet Tamaran

The royal gardens within the palace walls have always been a true sanctuary in many ways. In contrast to the barren and strip-mined prefectures right outside said palace walls, ravaged by years of constant fighting and war, the gardens housed a peaceful and tranquil environment that not provides the many fauna a suitable home, but also anyone who ventures within a calming place to contemplate and even find joy in spite of such harsh times befalling the planet.

That’s very much the case for the very Empress of the Tamaraneans as she cannot help but find her smiling at not just the beautiful varying colors, pleasant aromas and lively calmness of the garden the bench she sits upon at this moment but also of the other resident currently enjoying herself alongside her.

Hearing a small voice giggle above her head, Luand’r beams proudly at the sight she sees: her seven planetary cycles of age old little Princess Koriand’r was floating in the air joyously and with such excitement, flying around the numerous branches and leaves of the fauna surrounding her, only stopping every now and then to have her brilliant green eyes observe closely of the leaves she floats right next to.

It was moments of pure innocence like this that always bring the purest joy within the usually lowkey Luand’r since through her, her husband Myand’r and especially their beloved ally and servant Galfore, Koriand’r and her siblings are actually given even int he smallest of doses a life outside of the constant bombardment and sirens their enemies bring on a consistent basis. If only there were some way, some means of escaping this perpetual worry and state of fear this war for their kind’s very sovereignty. If one such means exists, Luand’r here will ensure she and her people, especially her children, can take it.

A hug snaps the Empress out of her thoughts. Looking to her side, she sees Koriand’r wrapping her arms around her. No other options are needed since all the black-haired Tamaranean woman does is simply yet all too lovingly hug her red-haired daughter back.

And so, Empress and Princess sit peacefully underneath the blossoming flowers and leaves of the royal garden, a truly fond way of doing the ‘spending quality time’ as a certain other species called Earthlings call it.

Mary Elizabeth Lloyd Grayson

Gripping the bar tightly, Mary pulls it back while bending her legs starting with tipping her toes over the edge of the platform. Now int position, she looks down from her post and can clearly see the nets are firmly in place and secured well enough. In the very few instances they engage in practice sessions without the nets, as per their acts, it would be just John and her doing such since by now, years of practice and experience worldwide have taught them a thing or few about making sure not a single fall happens on their watch, lest it cause certain disaster.

However, this it wasn’t John that was up here with her for today but, looking to her side and giving him a proud thumbs up, instead was her eight year old son who also gives her a thumbs up. Just two months ago was his birthday on the first day of spring and since then, no ever since he first took to the trapeze ropes when he was four, Mary watched her Little Robin improve and grow with each session, each show and every single time he stands on that platform, taking a leap of faith with his hands on the bars, letting loose to perform a spin or flip in the air before once more stretching his arms to safety of both John and/or her. Today proves not too different, hopefully. Worst case for this, Dick or her fall to nets below instead of the hard sandy floor.

Leaping off the platform with bar in hand, Mary flew the calm free-of-audience noise air with perfect easy, before hearing that trademark crack of the ropes, signal her to let it loose and with a flip in the air transferred successfully to the second bar across from where her son and the platform are, the first bar she gripped on still in hand.

Returning the first bar back to where son is at, now it was on her to ensure he reached her after his turn to swing. As such, Mary began swing the bar she was on back and forth, gaining momentum with each addition swing, only increasing such until it was deemed ready. Sure enough, the bar was swinging at a good pace and now, being the naturally skill contortionist she is, Mary easily positioned the back of knees so that her calves were holding her on the swinging bar, she was hanging upside down if not for the swinging of said bar and most importantly her arms are firmly in a position to stretch as far as they can for a catch. Her part in the act was good to go, now it truly was her son’s turn to fly.

With a nod, his own hands firmly on the bar, in position for the leap and now his mother across ready to catch him, Dick with a wide grin on his face takes the leap of the platform and swings on his bar across the air. This was it, this was the time he gets it right. The creaking of the ropes he waits for is heard, it was time to let the bar loose. Sure enough as he does so, tucking in his legs to his chest tightly, Dick has nothing to hold him but gravity itself.

One....Here’s hoping Raymond and Calvin are seeing this

Two....He can already hear the crowd gasping

Three....Keep it tight and remember make sure you let arms stretch at the right moment Dad says.

And......Four! Dick straightens out his body and stretches his arms as far as he can.

For the briefest of all moments, he was actually flying. Nothing carrying him, no sense of his own weight dragging him down. He was Superman at that moment.

Then he starts loosing his flight, gravity had set in. He stretches his arms just to tiniest bit hoping before air rushes he can....just a little bit....

Sire enough, all too familiar hands clasps onto his own hand. That familiar calloused texture of the palms, the chalky powdery feeling...Dick looks up to all too familiar face, a very beaming and proud one on top of that

“I’ve got you” Mary says lovingly as she can while using her arms to carry her son safely, “Momma’s here, Little Robin.”

The two smile at each other with all too familiar love and happiness in their distinct pairs of blue eyes while Mary’s bar starts slowing down its momentum. Finally as it comes to near complete stop, it was time to safely descend to the safety net below.

Before letting her son’s grips slips from her hands, Mary pulls him up to where she can deliver a small kiss on his forehead.

“You did great!” she exclaims happily. Just then, finally the bar’s swinging comes to stop, allowing Mary to finally lossen her grip on her son, allowing him to safely land on the net below, giggling lightly as he initially bounced on it. Just then, Dick rolled out of the way to give his mother enough space for own safe landing as she unhooks her legs from the trapeze bar and land on the net right next to him.

Mother and son simply lay there on their sides of the net, panting after such an effort before Mary threw her arms around her little boy, hugging him close to her. “You’re learning so fast”, she says panting yet all to happily.

Dick simply lays his head close to her, feeling her all too calming and steady heartbeat, relaxing the both of them.

“Happy Mother’s Day. Momma, Love you”, he whispers to her happily, as he wraps his own around her tightly

Mary can’t help but smile and even have tears of joy glisten her eyes. Pressing a few kisses on her son’s forehead, she whispers in turn, “And I Love you, so, so much, My Little Robin”

#arella roth #marie logan #elinore stone #luand'r #mary grayson #mothersday #rachel roth #garfield logan #victor stone #koriand'r #dick grayson

53 notes · View notes

cosmicjoke · 3 years

Note

Hello there! I've already asked this question from warm-starlight and I agree with her, but I love reading different opinion so here I am :) What is your opinion on the idea that 1) part of the reason Levi wanted to kill the monk was because of Erwin and of course to give meaning to the lives of those sacrificed in RtS, and 2) Levi assisted the kids to save humanity from Eren's genocide because of Hanji? I've seen some ppl discussing this and mentioning that Levi wasn't as driven by freedom as say Hanji or as prompted as Erwin by the truth. Some others say if it wasn't for following people like Erwin and Hanji who had great ambitions he would've left the SC. From these statements, what do you think drives Levi to fight or even live? Thank you :)

Hi there, and thank you for the ask!

For your first question, Levi wanted to kill Zeke precisely because of his need to ensure his comrades that day hadn't died in vain. People often mistake Levi's drive to kill Zeke as some sort of revenge, but it wasn't that. It's a recurring motif for Levi throughout the series that he can't abide meaningless death, or the thought that his comrades died without any sort of reason. So to me, it's pretty obvious that he wanted to kill Zeke, specifically, because otherwise, it would mean all his comrades that day in Shinganshina, including Erwin, would have given up their lives for no real reason at all. If it had simply been revenge, he would have killed Zeke on one of the three occasions he had an opportunity to do so. He very purposefully didn't because it wouldn't have benefited humanity in those moments if he had.

Which leads me into your second question.

Levi assisted the 104th and Hange to stop Eren's genocide because that's just what Levi does. He's always fought to save people. Whether that's one person, or billions, in this case. I think what drives, or motivates Levi, is to help people achieve better lives, to help them accomplish their dreams, to give their lives substance beyond just surviving. It doesn't necessarily have to be some lofty, grand ideal, but just better quality of life. Like when he makes his plans with Demo Reeves in the Uprising Arc. Levi could have easily just forced Demo to do what he wanted through threats and strong arming, but instead he wanted to actually do something to help the people of the town improve their lives, to improve their quality of life, and so he spoke with and encouraged Demo to work towards that end instead. Because the town's merchants verbally attacked Levi earlier, and complained about the SC's uselessness, and their own, lousy living conditions, and Levi LISTEND. He didn't get mad, or defensive, he actually heard them, and acknowledged their suffering, and then went out of his way to do something to help them, actually came up with a plan to help them. That's just Levi. He wants to help if he can.

I don't agree with the notion that the only reason Levi stayed with the SC is because of Erwin and Hange having great ambition. He stayed because Erwin helped him to realize that by doing so, he could help the most people. While living in the Underground, Levi's power to help others was limited, because he himself was barely able to hold on and survive. It was everything he could do to simply make it from one day to the next, in such harsh, unforgiving conditions. Still, though, he did what he could. He was helping Furlan and Isabel, and did everything he could to help make their lives better, and to help them realize their dreams, which is why he came to the surface in the first place. Because he was trying to help the both of them realize their dream of living above and to give them better lives.

If you study the panels from "No Regrets" after Erwin gives his speech to Levi about humanity needing his strength, you see he thinks specifically of Furlan and Isabel and himself riding out from the walls, and their wonderment and joy at seeing the full sky for the first time. I interpreted this as Levi realizing that, even though his friends had died, they'd still gotten a chance to experience a moment of true happiness in their otherwise desperate lives, because they'd gone to the surface. Levi has always wanted to help people. Since realizing he COULD with Furlan and Isabel, it's been Levi's wish to simply help, to do what he could to make the lives of others better. It wasn't Erwin or Hange that created that feeling in Levi. That was just an inherent part of his nature. What Erwin did was help Levi to realize he could help more people up above than below, and Levi simply trusted Erwin to guide him in achieving that end, to show him how.

There's this quote from Isayama which pretty much sums all this up much more succinctly.

“It’s that he found a place to make the most of what he could do, or rather, his own special abilities. Underground, where it was all he could do to stay alive, he had to live for that, but then he started to form relationships and began to feel that he could do things for others. And that’s why he first went above ground...”

Levi already, while Underground, began to form relationships and realize that he could use his strength to help and support others, but he also knew while living in such a violent and desperate environment, his ability to do so would be limited, and THAT'S the reason he went above ground. And THAT'S the reason he stayed. And that's ALSO the reason he helped fight in the Battle of Heaven and Earth. Whether Levi believes true freedom is achievable, or true peace, isn't really the point. It's not about him, or his own, personal dreams. It's about others, and what they dream of. It's simply to do what he can, however little or big, to help people in whatever ways he can, whether that's improving their lives, or helping them to realize their own dreams.

And honestly, that's the purest motivation any person can have, if you ask me. To help for the sake of helping, for the sake of people and improving their lives, even in the smallest of ways.

#shinkegi no kyojin #attack on tian #Levi Ackerman #asks

9 notes · View notes

sombruhmoment · 3 years

Text

the correct ‘hottest character’ tier list

not actually please dont yell at me

E: Unavailable for ranking

Hammond + Winston; Animals

Bastion + Orisa + Echo; Naive, ‘childlike’ robots that just are not attractive.

D: Hot only to very specific people

Widow; My issue with Widow is she’s basic. I’ve seen this dozens of times. Her hotness is artificial - everything about her to shove in your face her hotness, and unless you’re a very meek lesbian or a weird creepy dude, she just isn’t that hot. She’s a gimmick. If she was more professional and less for show, she’d be higher.

Tracer; Yorkshire terrier. She’d be a great s/o and friend, but she’s not exactly hot. She’s plain jane. Only especially hot to very Jane Austen lesbians and again, weird creepy dudes.

Mercy; Boring. She doesn’t really have much personality in the media she shows up in beyond ‘angel’ and ‘tired’. The latter is the smallest portion of her character, but the most embraced. This is why she’s only hot in the fan portrayals of her in fic or art. She’s too plain and basic to be more than conventionally attractive.

Junkrat; He just ain’t, dude. Unless he’s your type, he isn’t hot. His personality doesn’t lend to his sex appeal, either. Very specific taste needed.

Mei; Only if you’re a butch lesbian or an even weirder dude. Very plain, but the body shape rep is nice. Her personality is probably only attractive if you’re into the same interests as her, or are familiar with your interests being shut down. This relationship will be a lot of gushing about fun science facts and god dang, you go you funky butch lesbians. Still not hot.

C: Boring + bad idea

Brig; She has a hotness factor from the muscles. She still is not hot because she is so plain. She is white bread incarnate. Her personality of sweet, ‘girl-next-door’ is appealing for a relationship, but she just isn’t that hot aside from her buffness.

Sigma; He’s often cited as one of the hotter guys, but is he, or do you just like the idea of cosmic horror? Is he hot, or do you want to be a monsterf*cker without actually commiting? He’s a traumatized Grandpa. He’s like an old, white man Mei. I’d go to the park with him and feed ducks. I would not canoodle.

Ashe; Like Widow, but more professional. She’s still boring, but at least the outfit makes her have some intrigue. Her story has the potential to make her more interesting, but let’s be real, she was only made as an attempt to stop the McHanzo shippers.

D.va; She’s fine. She’s just a young adult. Nothing much to say. Blizzard really wants you to think she’s hot, though.

Hanzo; Look. This man, no matter when you approach him, is in a crisis. Before meeting Genji, he’s stuck in the past. After, he’s gone full white girl reinvention. I wouldn’t be surprised if your hookup was a rebound. If you canoodle him, there will be strings attached. He will call you afterwards and ask if you happened to find one of his nipple piercings in your sheets. You’ll get text messages asking if you want to smoke a joint. He has no skill in this. Until he goes to therapy, wide berth. He’s hot, but the consequences and implications outweigh the good time.

B: A lil spice to ‘em

Torb; The personality is there. He’s a dilf. He’s a serious, but not without humor, haunted man who loves his family dearly. He gets made into a joke, but guys, this man would be a fan favorite if he wasn’t short.

Ana; She’s adopted the Grannie personality, which knocks her down a bit, but Ana is hot even as an older woman. Not my cup ‘a joe, but she oozes sarcasm and confidence. Also, strikes fear into the rich and corrupt? Hot.

Genji; He’s Hanzo, but after therapy. He’s got his ish together. He’ll treat you right. It’ll be the best relationship you’ve ever had because he’s so good at communication. But this isn’t about relationships. He’s hot because he’s vanilla. He’s a simple guy - and lets face it, a bottom. One of the plainer options, but still has some appeal to him with his maturity.

Zarya; Buff woman. Hot. Her personality isn’t for everyone, and her racism is...ugh...but c’mon. Look at her biceps. Look at them.

Moira; Will experiment on you in more ways than you expect. Androgynous, David Bowie. Not for the faint of heart. You’re definitely a lesbian or a femboy. Hot for her evilness. Not so hot for her nails. Not a good idea. Be careful.

Reinhardt; Big grandpa man. A gentle soul. Very loud. He’s hot for his confidence and voice. But, again, sooner feed ducks with him than anything else.

A: Hot

Sombra; Evil, intelligent, mischievous woman who is always one step ahead? Hot.

Doomfist; You are lying to yourself if you think he isn’t attractive. Jerk? No question. But listen to his voice. He’s classy, humorous, and very nicely muscled. Do not pursue a relationship under any circumstance, but look all you’d like.

Zen; Like Genji, but hotter because of the inherent controversy of canoodling a monk.

Soldier; Raspy voice, nice bone structure, haunted past, beefy but not too beefy. Kinda basic, but still appealing.

Roadhog; Voice. Voice. Voice. This man is hot. You are a coward. Dad bod x 10.

Lucio; Anarchist, fights corps, very kind and sweet. Lean muscle and fierce. Gentle and plays with kids. Cutie.

S: Hottest

Baptiste; Beefy, has some cake, romantic flirt, will take C A R E of you and make you breakfast. Look at him. Haunted past, muscles, nice voice, you KNOW he takes care of his nails and hygiene. Not just a good night, marry this man. Someone else will if you don’t. Hottest character in Overwatch.

McCree; Voice, dad bod, tanned, probably smells like smoke and sand. He’s a sweetie, but has some edge to him. A nice middle ground between Hot Evil and Hot Cute. Beard is definitely scratchy.

Pharah; Buff woman with a nice voice, cute sense of humor, and sense of loyalty and responsibility? Like a female Baptiste. Go get the ring. Now.

Reaper; Haunted past, claws, monster/inhuman, and that voice. Don’t pursue relationship. Casual meetups? Sure. Do not catch feelings, this isn’t a Wattpad story and you are not y/n, you will not change him.

Symmetra; She’s kinda confused but she has a good heart, good voice, and very nice legs. She’s dripping charisma and confidence, look at her. You are below her and that is quite an enjoyable experience. Would be a decent s/o, would have a lot to learn but she’d try her best.

#jesse mcree #overwatch #hanzo shimada #genji shimada #lena oxton #gabriel reyes #jack morrison #solider 76 #gangpost

134 notes · View notes

iatethepomegranate · 3 years

Text

We are not alone in the dark with our demons, Chapter 10

In which Caleb buys a house in Rexxentrum with Beau and Yasha, becomes a professor, is showered in love and support, learns how to be a person again, and tries to protect those like him from going through what he did.

Content warnings: Panic attacks, vomiting, Caleb's backstory

Chapter summary: There's not a lot Caleb can do right now, but he can teach a hurting teenager a new spell and reunite him with his very much alive parents.

Chapter notes: I 100% believe that Astrid knows the Nein call Essek "Hot Boi." Chapter title is from Ghost by Jacob Lee.

****

Chapter 10: And I'm just a stranger who could be a friend

The first thing Caleb did was flip to the page in his spellbook where he had transcribed the Sending spell. It was far into the book. As he pulled out his copper wire, Felix made a sound of surprise.

“You learned this recently?” asked Felix.

“Ja, I travelled with a cleric friend for a long time who had the spell,” Caleb replied. “Not Caduceus; he was there too, though. Jester seemed to enjoy casting it at everyone, even mere acquaintances, so I never saw the need for it.”

“What made you learn it?”

“Jester insisted a few weeks ago, so I could talk to her while we were apart. I knew another wizard who could teach me, and we were spending a great deal of time alone together exploring Aeor, and exchanging theories.”

Felix, despite his distress, was absolutely smirking at Caleb and he was not about to deal with teasing from an actual child. “So… exchanging theories in Aeor? Is that what old people call it now?”

“Hush.” Caleb ran Felix through the basic somatic motions of the spell, before demonstrating it himself. “Hallo, Caduceus. I am teaching Felix the Sending spell. It will take a few hours. Let me know if anything happens.”

“Hey, Caleb. Beau has the monks looking for Nico. They’re playing nice with the Volstrucker, apparently. Don’t miss dinner.”

“Right, so you can have a single two-way exchange out of the one casting,” said Felix. “What’s the word limit again?”

“Twenty-five words. Now, this is a third-level spell. It will take some effort for you at the moment.”

“I’ve been to school, Bren. I know what spell levels are.”

“Call me Caleb. Or Professor Widogast, if you prefer. I do teach here now.”

“Fuck off.”

“Caleb’s fine.”

Felix rolled his eyes. “Whatever, Professor.”

This was better. Caleb could work with impetuous children. Most children he knew were like that. Caleb could tune his behaviour to whatever Felix seemed to find most calming. Or at least distracting.

Felix had great attention to detail, methodically copying out Caleb’s transcription of the spell and yet still finding excuses to make fun of Caleb along the way. It was comfortable, more than Caleb had expected. Felix only knew him by reputation, and one put forward by Trent, no less.

Maybe it was the shared trauma. Maybe it was the fact Caleb was teaching him something. Or because Caleb, despite being a professor here, wasn’t trying to inhabit a position of authority over him in the way Trent had.

Snacks were delivered to the room about halfway through the process. Felix paid it little mind, and that was painfully familiar.

“Felix.” Caleb could not believe he was enforcing a break. That he had become the kind of person who would pull a focused wizard away from study for mere human needs such as food. But he was responsible for Felix, at least for now, and that was a frightening pressure.

“Busy.”

Caleb closed his own spellbook, taking away Felix’s source for transcription. In its place, he put a bowl of fruit. “Eat.”

Felix paused, his pen hovering over the page, frowning. Then he slowly set it down and sullenly grabbed a plum. Caleb sat back against the wall, nibbling on a handful of grapes.

“Don’t forget to stretch before we get back to it.”

Felix rolled his eyes. “Why are you like this?”

“Listen, I’ve had many people do this for me in the last year alone. So I’m paying it forward, and you are going to accept that.” Caleb tried to throw a grape into his mouth, and missed. He grabbed it off the floor and popped it into his mouth. Chewed. Swallowed. “It’s good for you.” If any of the Nein had heard him say that, they probably would have fainted from shock. It was easier to give this advice than to follow it himself.

“I can see why Trent fucking hates you.”

Caleb snorted. “Oh, this does not scratch the surface of Trent’s problems with me.” He threw another grape, catching it in his mouth this time. “Did anyone tell you what my friends and I did to him?”

“No.”

“Well, he tried to ambush us at Caduceus’s family home. One of my friends may have ‘acquired’ evidence of his experiments from Vergesson, and he was upset that I refused to entertain his ego while busy with bigger problems. By the time we were done with him, Astrid and Wulf were on our side, my friends had permanently glued a silencing collar around his neck, and used the leftover glue to stick his hands together. And that glue was in the shape of a dick.”

“Bullshit.”

“Ask Astrid. She activated the collar. Or Beauregard. She put the thing on him.”

Felix had that look of a teenage boy who was trying not to look impressed, hiding it behind a veneer of sarcasm. “Okay. I will.”

They finished their break, stretched, and got back to it. Felix was clever, eager to learn. It brought back memories for Caleb. Good memories, as tainted as they now were. And as much as he was worried for Nico and grieved for what had happened, he was also indescribably relieved they had been able to stop Felix. If he could help Felix reclaim even the smallest amount of good from his stolen childhood, he would take that as a victory.

Astrid looked in on them as Felix practiced the somatic motions around his copper wire, his muscle memory already secure. With a few minor corrections, he would be ready to cast.

“Almost finished?” she asked.

“Almost,” said Caleb. “Felix, that was very good. Just watch that you fully complete the motion right at the end, and hold it until you finish speaking your message. With time, you can find your own method.”

“You learned this method from your special Aeor friend?”

Caleb sighed. “No, these somatic components are developed from watching several casters perform the spell. My colleague provided the basic framework to learn the spell, but his somatic components are more intricate than my own.”

“So he’s your fancy special Aeor friend.”

Astrid chuckled. “It’s not the silliest nickname he’s had. Now, focus. The Martinet is sticking his nose in our business and we need to get you out of here.”

Felix wordlessly practiced the gesture again, meticulously correcting his errors. He ran through the motion a few more times, becoming more confident each time.

“I think you are ready,” said Caleb. “Remember: twenty-five words. Consider them in advance. It may be worth telling Nico he can reply to you.”

Felix nodded and closed his eyes, counting on his fingers under his breath. And then he cast. “Hey, Nico. It’s Felix. I heard what happened. I’m okay. They stopped me. I hope you’re okay. You can reply to this message.” The barest pause. “Love you.” Felix held his breath, listening out for a reply.

Caleb let him have ten seconds, before breaking the news. “Felix. If he has not replied yet--”

“I know,” Felix muttered. He grabbed his spellbook, hugging it to his chest as he deflated, and Caleb’s heart broke. “Just… get me out of here.”

****

Astrid’s teleport brought the three of them back to Blumenthal. The path was muddy from yesterday’s storm. Felix gripped his spellbook tighter, raking his eyes over the buildings around them. The way he held himself, shoulders hunched, inches from bolting, reminded Caleb far too much of himself mere months ago.

“Felix,” he said. “We need to speak to your mother and father, but we will not put you in a situation you do not think you can handle.”

“I don’t know if I can do this.” And wasn’t that just painfully familiar. They had barely made it a few steps before he froze, closing his eyes against the vision of home.

Astrid looked to Caleb, silently begging for him to do something.

“Felix,” said Caleb, completely panicking on the inside, “we will not force you to do anything you don’t want to. Okay? Let’s walk for a bit. Take deep breaths. If we reach your house and you don’t want to go inside, I will stay with you and Astrid will talk to your parents. Is that all right?”

Felix nodded, and he took a step. Then another step. And another. They walked together down familiar but unfamiliar streets. They were in a different part of Blumenthal than they had been yesterday. Caleb blocked out most of it, concentrating on getting Felix through the next few minutes. His own shit did not matter right now.

Felix’s body language remained tense. His head stayed down, barely keeping an eye on where he was going. His fingers flexed around his spellbook. And Caleb was planning. A hundred different options.

Caleb refused to force this boy to face his parents before he was ready. If the time came, and he couldn’t do it, he would need somewhere else to go. Somewhere away from here. If Astrid allowed it, there were a few options. Veth in Nicodranas would take Felix if Caleb asked, but he wasn’t sure if Felix would feel comfortable being around a family like that, especially with a small child. Or Felix could stay at the Lavish Chateau, but Marion was a busy woman who had been through enough on Caleb’s account. There was the Gentleman’s hideout, but Caleb wouldn’t want to leave him alone there. He could take Felix to the Blooming Grove, where the Clays would willingly care for him, but taking a boy who almost killed his parents to a graveyard was possibly not the best option.

There was Reani, wherever she was, but he wasn’t so sure that Felix could handle her on his own, or that her rigid morality had shifted enough to take him in without killing him if she found out even a fraction of the shit he did while under Trent’s power. Taking Felix to Nila and her young family, who Caleb believed had returned to her clan, would bring up many of the similar issues as taking him to Veth. And the Guiatao clan had suffered greatly at the hands of the Iron Shepherds, including many deaths, so Caleb wasn’t sure that would be a good place for him to cope with nearly killing his own parents.

And Caleb was not putting Felix on a pirate ship, so that ruled out Fjord, Jester and Kingsley.

They could always bring Felix back to Rexxentrum and he could either stay on Astrid’s estate (possibly too traumatic) or with Caleb and the lesbians, but Ludinus was poking around and that could get messy. Not to mention the whole “harbouring a Drow fugitive” thing.

Caleb circled back to Veth. If Felix could handle it, he would feel most comfortable taking the boy to her if he wasn’t able to go home. Caleb hadn’t told her what happened yet; he was not looking forward to that conversation. Even if it would help him in the end.

Of course, this all depended on Felix. If he agreed to go home, this would be irrelevant. But Caleb felt better having come up with a plan.

They reached a quiet street. Felix headed to the house at the far end, partially concealed by a granary. Caleb thought, with faint nausea, that even the physical isolation of their parents’ homes could have been a factor for Trent.

Felix made it all the way to the small vegetable garden out the front of the house, but faltered between the carrots. He stared up at the modest house. A single-storey affair, small even for a family of three. The front door was painted cherry red. The boy’s lips parted; no sound came out. His eyes traced the features of the house - the red door, the two small windows, the thatched roof in need of maintenance.

A woman’s face appeared at the window. And the door flew open.

“Felix!” The woman ran out of the house, and Caleb was just barely able to take in her simple dress and heavy coat, blonde hair gathered in a loose bun. But as she got close, Felix stepped back, wide eyes fixed on her face, as she spoke in rapid Zemnian. “No one has heard from you in weeks. Where have you been? Are you okay?”

“I can’t do this.” And he was backing away. “I can’t.” He tore his eyes from her, and ran.

“Go after him,” Astrid told Caleb. He wasted no time chasing after the boy. Caleb had run from a great many things in the past few years, but he was not the fastest man alive. But he was fast enough.

Felix barely made it around the granary before he collapsed into the grass. Gasping for breath.

Caleb knelt beside him. “Felix, listen to me. You’re okay. Slow down, breathe. Let the air fill your lungs. Feel the grass beneath your hands.”

Felix dug his fingers into the dirt, gulping in air. He was listening, at least. Being on the other side of this was not especially familiar to Caleb, but he had coached Essek once or twice. He could do this. They could do this.

Of course, Felix barely knew him, so it wasn’t like Caleb could just hug him. That would probably make things worse. So he would have to use his words.

“Felix, you got this. How does the grass feel?” Caleb gave Felix a moment to process, and then he supplied options, taking a pause between each. “Is it dry? Wet? What colour is it?”

Felix coughed a little, sucking in a shaky breath. “Wet. Green.” His hand slid across the grass. “Short. Muddy.”

“Good.”

Felix leaned away and vomited onto the grass. Then he staggered to his feet, grabbing Caleb’s shoulder for support. They moved a little further from the house, and Felix leaned against the granary, knocking the back of his head against the wood. And he laughed, that kind of unhinged, hysterical laugh that was not funny at all. Caleb knew it well.

And then he was in tears. Caleb reached for his shoulder, carefully, and Felix didn’t shake him off.

“I was going to kill her,” Felix said quietly. “If you hadn’t… I almost murdered my parents. I love them. I love them… and it didn’t matter. I was going to… oh gods....”

“Felix,” Caleb said, and did a very poor job hiding the tremor in his voice. “I am so glad we found you.”

“What the fuck does it matter? I would’ve done it.”

“Felix, as somebody who did… it matters a great deal.”

Felix stared up at him, eyes wide and wild.

“I will not force you to go home if you’re not ready,” Caleb said, pulling his voice back under control. “All I will say is this: I would have given anything to see my mother and father again. I almost did. And I know it hurts to look at your mother, knowing that you were going to end her life because of a lie. But you didn’t. She is still here. So is your father. And you have time to heal, all three of you.”

Felix wiped his face on his sleeve, cleared his throat. “Okay. Danke.”

***

Astrid was seated at a small dining table with Felix’s mother and father. Nobody got up from the table when Caleb brought Felix in, though it took visible restraint from his parents. Felix took after his mother--blonde hair, blue eyes, soft features--but he was closer to his father’s build.

The father tore his eyes from Felix with visible effort, and when his gaze fell on Caleb, he froze. And Caleb recognised him, and his wife. Friedrich Schneider and Louise Fischer--probably Schneider now. They were a few years older than him, but he could recall playing together as children.

“I heard you were back,” said Friedrich. “You were helping Nico out yesterday, ja?”

“Ja, I was there,” Caleb said carefully. “As were Astrid and Wulf.”

Louise pulled out the chair next to her. “Felix, come here.”

Felix, still gripping his spellbook like a lifeline, shuffled over and fell into the seat. Caleb sat next to Astrid on the opposite side of the table to the family.

“I have given some details of Master Ikithon’s arrest,” Astrid told him. “We were just about to discuss options for support. If you would?”

“Ja, of course.” Caleb compartmentalised his old memories and focused on the task ahead of him. “We are organising a support group for Ikithon’s former students. We are still nailing down those details, but we will be sure to pass them on. I have also been appointed as a teacher at Soltryce Academy, and we are hoping to put the students back into school when they feel ready.”

Louise and Friedrich grasped at Felix, who curled in on himself but did not complain.

“We just got him home,” said Louise. “After everything Astrid has told us, why would we let him go back?”

“The students in Felix’s position are at a delicate stage of development,” Astrid said, with little inflection, and Caleb sensed she was compartmentalising as well. “They are quite skilled, but have lost the guidance they had. That is dangerous. Good or bad, Ikithon was…” She sighed, and the mask melted away a little. “He engineered this situation. We were dependent on him. Even those whose families still live. Bren, you have been out of his influence longer. Do you have thoughts?”

“Ja, I do.” Caleb had spent his fair share of time soul-searching in the past few weeks, as well as the past year as a whole. “Ikithon shaped each of his students in a very specific way: patriotic to a fault, willing to do anything to get the job done, and unfalteringly loyal to him. It is a gradual process. By the time you realize it is happening, you have already done terrible things at his command. For most, there was no way out. My situation is unique, because I was able to escape in a rather dramatic fashion, but it has taken years to shake off the influence he had on me. I was alone and homeless for most of that time, and let me tell you: almost every fragment of positive change in me happened in the past year, because I had a support network. I found people who cared about me, and they learned how to help me. It was a group effort. I am now in a position to offer that kind of support to others.”

“Say we let him go back,” said Friedrich. “Will he have to live in that place?”

“Not all the time,” said Astrid. “You are not far from Rexxentrum, so I do not see a problem if he wishes to come home regularly. Bren and I both live off-campus if he needs a break but cannot make it to Blumenthal.”

“You do not need to decide now,” said Caleb. “The seniors do not start for another few weeks.”

“We’ll think about it,” Friedrich said flatly. “What happened to Nico?”

“He did it,” Felix said quietly. “Had a breakdown. Ran the fuck away.”

“We have people searching for him,” said Astrid. “Bren taught Felix a spell to talk to him, if he likes.”

“He prefers Caleb,” Felix muttered.

“Danke, Felix.” Caleb had not expected Felix to speak up on his behalf, not when he had his own shit going on. “Astrid gets a pass and, well, your parents knew me when we were children. I go by Caleb Widogast these days, but I will answer to either name.”

“Why the change?” asked Friedrich, still in that flat tone of distrust.

“I went by many names after I escaped Master Ikithon,” said Caleb. “For safety. I gave that one to a woman who eventually became my best friend. Now, it’s my name. But, for you, I don’t mind.”

Both Friedrich and Louise did not look trusting. At all. A mere muscle twitch from openly glaring at Caleb and Astrid, really.

Louise sighed, and some of the hostility dropped. “Thank you for bringing Felix home.”

“We will check in regularly,” said Astrid.

“Felix can message either of us with the spell I taught him,” said Caleb. “If he so wishes.”

Things were too tense to continue much conversation. Caleb and Astrid said their goodbyes, and left. They did not speak, except for Astrid’s short incantation to teleport them back to Rexxentrum.

They landed on the outskirts of the Shimmer Ward. Astrid immediately combed her fingers through her hair, hands shaking.

“That was…” She groaned softly. “Thank you for coming. I will keep you updated on the search for Nicolaus.” She turned on her heel and marched deeper into the ward, pausing for a split second, before she continued onwards without looking back.

Caleb slowly worked his way back to and through the Tangles until he was home. He couldn’t fault Astrid for being distant right at the end. The last twenty-four hours had been intense for everyone involved.

It was close to dinnertime as he reached the house. He entered his side and shut the door, leaning against it as the strength left his body. He’d done it. Today had been two-thirds of a shitshow, and he had made it through.

Felix was home with his parents, and he had the means to contact Nico, and Caleb himself, if he wanted. That was a win.

Nico, however…

Caleb knew, intellectually, that it had been a freak occurrence. A series of imperfections had tangled together into a knot, and that knot had been Nico’s escape. Almost every wizard in that room had more than one try at countering Nico’s spell, but they had not been unable to unravel it. Nico, empowered by panic and grief, had thrown all he had into a powerful fireball, and had the adrenaline to power through what should have hurt him a great deal.

Caleb hoped he was okay. Physically, at least. Psychologically, Caleb knew he wasn’t.

He sat on the floor, resting his back against the door. And he tried something. Coil of wire in hand. “Hello, Nicolaus. This is Caleb Widogast. You may know me as Bren Ermendrud. I was with you today. I��m sorry we frightened you. Be safe.”

He didn’t expect a response, and he did not receive one. A small part of him feared Nico wasn’t responding because he was dead. It was all too likely. There was no way he hadn’t been injured in the blast. Once the adrenaline wore off, the pain could’ve taken over and left him vulnerable to any number of attackers.

Gods, if after all this, Nico had died on the side of a road…

Caleb was tired. But he forced his fingers to cooperate, and worked through another casting.

“Me again. I want you to know: Trent Ikithon is in prison for what he did to us. You’re welcome in my home, when ready.”

Again, no response.

“Caleb?” A form slid into view at the top of the stairs, blending into the dark, but Caleb knew Essek’s voice anywhere.

“Ja,” he said, with the remaining strength he had. “Felix is home. We have both tried to message Nico, with no response. I…” He didn’t want to speak it into existence, so he shifted the morbid statement on his tongue into something more positive. “I hope he’s alive.”

Essek floated down the stairs and sat beside him, squeezing into the remaining doorspace. “If he's anything like you, I would expect nothing less.”

“Danke.” Caleb dropped his head onto Essek’s shoulder, and let himself rest.

#critical role #caleb widogast #shadowgast #astrid beck #professor widogast #cr2 #my fics #fanfiction #the pomegranate's professor widogast fic

14 notes · View notes