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yami-writes · 4 years

Text

MHA boys with tiktok accounts

(🏷️) paring(s): Midoriya x reader, Kaminari x reader, Todoroki x reader (🔮) summary: Midoriya, Kaminari, and todoroki with Tiktok accounts (hcs) (⚠️) warning(s): just crack n fluff here (💌) note from Yami: inspired by a request I got the other day (check it out here) (hey yall, made this at 3am dont mind me. jus vibin)

~*~*~*~*

Midoriya

i think he would enjoy tiktok

you introduced him to it

and he thought it was cool so he decided to stay for the ride

His fyp is filled to the brim with all might.

Just all might.

Occasionally some other heroes

But mainly all might ✋

He WANTS to only follow you

But he's a pushover and too nice for his own good and ended up following everyone in class

Poor bby

If he ever does decide to post, it will have something to do with heroes

Probably just recording all of his all might merch

And occasional small vlogs of what it's like at ua

Or in the dorms

And there pretty fun to watch and get a lot of love

And of course people will demand more

And, like I said, he physically can't say no

So he does more

which never fail to get under 1.5mil veiws

he’s well known in the tiktok community~~

HE WILL COMMENT NICE THINGS ON EVERY. SINGLE. VIDEO. YOU. POST.

no exceptions.

A small dance video??

"angel, your so good at dancing!!! Plz teach me someday!! I wanna be in one of your tiktoks!! :)"

precious!!

or perhaps some sort of aesthetic video

“wow! this tiktok is so pretty! just like you, angel <3(a tiktok could never compare to you)″

ahhhhhhhhhh IZUUU

you always screenshot the comment and send it to him with your response

and u could see him blushing behind the screen

if u do decide to allow him to dance in one of your tiktoks, hes so happy

like, incredibly happy

as if All Might himself walked into the room

his face will light up like a PUPPY

ok i’ll stop.

after mina’s many lessons she was able to teach him to dance pretty well

now all you had to do was teach him the dance

and it turned out really good

ill leave the dance and the overall quality of said tiktok up to u 😌

use ur imaginations loves~~

but regardless~

the tiktok yall made

blew. tf. up.

the comments were full of

“OMG YOU GUYS R SO CUTEE 😍”

and

“PLZ DO MOREE!!!!”

probably the most popular video you have tbh~

and you bet ur ass when midoriya found out he was gonna do another one

GOD-

you swear his smile could make a bitch go blind~

Follower count: 5.3mil & counting

Kaminari

i know for a FACT this bitch has tiktok

i also know he is a tiktok MASTER

he knows all the trends

and the memes

and is also quite well known

his fyp definitely has A LOT of memes

and trendy stuff

and he only posts trendy stuff

the includes dances, challenges, pranks..... PRANKS.

a lot of pranks from this man....

and you, dear, are one of his main victims

along with the rest of the bakusquad

and its annoying asf bc this idiot is wasting his damn brain space that he apparently has??? to plan out a PERFECT prank

and it works EVER. SINGLE. TIME.

there is no escaping him,

and its even worst bc these pranks of his are his most popular posts

by this point there is no stoppping him.

and dont even bother trying to get him back

he can literally sense a prank

like a second quirk or sumn-

rip 💀

he will SPAMM your comments

“FGUYJGYHUK”

“GO OFFFF”

“dat ass tho 👀👀”

“u really went: 🍰🍰“

“just suffocate me with your thighs already, boo!! 😭🥺”

lmafoooo

you cant even be bothered to reply to any of his thirsty comments

which are always the first ones you recive...

and are always top comments

rip💀

now,lemme get this straight.

he will BEG

like- on his hands and knees beg

the be in one of ur tiktoks

specifically, a dance

even more specifically, a dance thats more on the~~ scandalous side

you know what i mean sis

rolls, hair whips, throwin it back, all the shit

hell- you have NO idea how much he would love to just be in the presence of you throwin him back sum ass

damn

once you finally give in and do a tiktok with him

and he wants to pick the dance

obviously

yall prob did a doja cat song cant lie lmafo

“Candy” perhaps??

anyways, he’ll probably mess up on purpose just so u can throw it to em again

but once he’s had enough he’ll do it properly

after about 12 attempts that is-

but dont worry cause that video got LOVE

“THIS IS SO CUTE😍”

“PLZ DANCE TOGETHER MOREEE❤️💗“

and you know denki is gonna see this

you also know he, along with ur comments, also want more

good luck, dear...

follower count: 8.1mil & counting

Todoroki

you showed him tiktok

and he watched you in your dorm making some

and he wanted to try so you helped him make an acc

ofc the first thing he does is follow you and watch some all of ur videos

every single one, sis.

i think his fyp would be full of cooking tutorials

specifically, soba

he tries, he really does.

he still cont cook with out burning something, but there IS improvment

and he would post the most random shit

literally anything

a small bug he saw on his way to school?

filmed and posted.

and that shit gets VIEWS

how you ask??

good question dearie

lets just say Mr. Shouto Todoroki is HOT

in all aspects, no exeptions

people can and will watch his tiktoks just to see him

and better bet ur ass his comments are full of thirsty girls

but thats offtopic.

he also has small videos he recored of you

whether it was you singing or dancing

doing you makeup brushing your hair

dosent matter.

he’ll have a BUNCH in his drafts he likes to scroll through daily

he never told anyone, not even you

👀👀

he dosent comment on all ur posts but he does comment on some of them

only some

specifically, the ones he likes

i mean~ he likes all of them, but if he favors a specific one over the rest, he’ll let you know

“wow, y/n. i like this video more than your others. i guess thats why im commenting. anyways, i love the tiktok, but i love you more.”

he sooooo dryyyyyy

like put a heart at least man

ANYWAYS

he usually lurks in the comments, making sure everyone is staying their place

like a security guard lmao

he’ll privately message you his thoughts on your tiktok

it’ll be a long message with a mix of compliments but also questions

“i liked the song, but whats the song called?

“how did you make that? I really liked it though.”

dry, but pure.

i dont think he would have much interest in being in one of your tiktoks

BUT

if you want him in one of your tiktoks

he’ll offer to stand in the background.....

then you explain to him you want him to /participate/ in the tiktok

if you want him to do a dance with you

goodluck

this man is STIFF

every move you teach him is another jab at your soul

painful

if you gather up the courage to allow him to be in the tiktok

he’ll just-

leave

as in, walk out of the room leave

...what???

he’ll come back later and act as if nothing happened

and if u question him

“i lost interest.”

yea, like a fucking child

the damn tiktok barley even started-

follower count: 10.9mil & counting

Masterlist

#mha x reader #bnha x reader #kaminari x reader #midoriya x reader #todoroki x reader #denki x reader #izuku x reader #shouto x reader #y/n #self insert #tiktok AU #y/n x midoriya #y/n x todoroki #y/n x kaminari #mha #bnha #my hero academia x reader #boku no hero academia x reader

331 notes · View notes

springday-aus · 3 years

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Superpower!AU with Hyungwon

—

Group: Monsta X

Member: Chae Hyungwon

Genre: fluff, romance, small [very minimal] angst

TW: car accident - don’t worry, no one died

Type: Bulletpoint AU

Word Count: approx. 2.8k

→ Inspired by the AU Prompt: “I know you can read minds and I really like you so I’m constantly filtering my thoughts—stop making fun of how I think of fighting giraffes, it’s my go-to when I think about you shirtless”

so Hyungwon has the power of telepathy

how he got it was rather odd

he wasn’t necessarily born with it—it kind of came to him

despite what people might think, it wasn’t radioactivity

it was actually due to an accident

when he was young, there was a minor encounter

basically, there was a car and semi-truck incident

next thing he knew, his parents were in critical condition and he was being rolled into the ER for surgery

when he woke up, he was in his hospital bed and the ventilator was hooked up to him

he heard the voices of the nurses and the doctors, but their mouths weren’t moving

originally he brushed it off since he hasn’t fully recovered and his vision kept going in and out

but once he did recover… he could still hear them

luckily, his parents were okay

and that was how he was able to confirm his new-found power

he was able to hear theirs first and it was…. insane

he was freaked out, his parents were freaked out

once they calmed down, they tried to figure out what to do—they eventually came to the conclusion to just let it happen

they can’t control that so they might as well figure it out together

at first, it was uncontrollable, so he heard these voices whether or not he wanted to hear them

it was always loud and his own thoughts were never heard in his own head

oh, the amount of migraines he’d gotten from a young age…

but, don’t worry, he learned to maintain it as he grew up

now, he’s able to listen whenever he looks at someone and concentrate a bit more

he’s got a better control of it, but it also means he has to be careful as to where he looks bc he doesn’t wanna listen in on someone’s private thoughts

he’s always been getting in trouble when he was trying not to get in trouble when it comes to his telepathy

that tends to happen a lot in general though

because you’re hearing a lot of thoughts that you’re not trying to hear

which is why music became a good route of distraction

at first, the monsta x boys made fun of him for not getting airpods, but, after telling them about his telepathy, they understood why he got those big ass headphones

but, we’ll get to them later

anyways

bruh, high school was extra rough on this man

can you imagine hearing all of those thoughts? especially of hormonal teenage boys?

nasty

anyways

I like to think that this is why he sleeps so much

when he first got it, it was very emotionally draining for him and he slept like twelve hours at a time

unfortunately, he got into this habit and now he can doze off if he zones out enough

he slept a lot in high school, considering that he was trying not to hear his teacher’s thoughts and the other students and focus on the lesson and would end up falling asleep on his desk and then getting in trouble with the teachers

again, it’s that whole getting in trouble without meaning to get into trouble

so anyways

his family are the main people who know and god

the amount of family tea he’s gotten from his parents’ thoughts

while he does hate being able to hear all these thoughts without a choice, his favorite is the family gatherings and reunions

homeboy could make a tv novella with all the information he’s got on his family

because his immediate family are the ones who know, whereas his cousin that’s like twice removed doesn’t, but that’s justifiable

also, his parents have to be careful when they’re talking about him or his younger brother tho

(Hyungwon: “dad, am I not your favorite?”

his dad: “I don’t have have favorites”

Hyungwon: “the lies”)

other than his family, his long time friends also know, i.e. the monsta x boys

I’m talking long term because he’s so comfortable with them and Hyungwon was stupid and let it slip

Jooheon: I know we agreed on Chinese but I kind of wanted pizza

Hyungwon: “we can get both if you want”

Jooheon: “get what?”

Hyungwon: wait a second

oh, whenever they play games, Hyungwon uses this telepathy to help him cheat

and Changkyun was suspicious of how Hyungwon, the guy who falls asleep 20 minutes into a movie, had such good gaming tactics

his suspicions were confirmed when Hyungwon told them but they all also lowkey were confused and didn’t believe him, altho it did fill in a few of the gaps

like how Hyungwon gives perfect gifts for people that they can actually use

and how he can easily solve issues before they can even become bigger issues

there were just bits and pieces that came together and he did get to prove it

Kihyun: “what am I thinking about?”

Hyungwon: “I don’t think you would want me to say it in front of our Minhyuk here”

Kihyun: …… “okay, you pass”

but revealing this also means a lot of questions

especially from Minhyuk, who’s bouncing around and is curious as to how it works

and isn’t like always being verbally asked

like, the questions will just pop into their heads and Hyungwon hears it

actually what he hears is

Minhyuk: can he hear animal thoughts?

Minhyuk: do they speak English? or do they speak in that animal sound?

Minhyuk: should I ask him? or am I going to be bothering him?

Minhyuk: okay, try to be casual and slip it in and-

Hyungwon: “I can only hear people’s thoughts, now can we please get on with the meal?”

Minhyuk: oh right he can hear mine

Hyungwon: “YES I CAN HEAR IT PLEASE BE QUIET”

Wonho: …. “what’s going on????”

this is why he favors you compared to the others

you’re curious, but not like super curious like Minhyuk

but it’s also because your thoughts are the most hilarious ones

it’s primarily because you censor a lot of your thoughts with other thoughts and they are….. eccentric

there’s a reason tho

long story short: you like him

you two are basically childhood friends

you met in middle school and woke him up before he could get in trouble and it was all history from there

it wasn’t until around the college years that the feeling hit you like a ton of bricks

and when it did hit, you were lucky Hyungwon wasn’t around to read your thoughts

because……... oof

he went from that kid with acne that you used to spray water at to keep awake

to a handsome young man that makes your heart pound so loudly in your chest

he had told you about these powers of his about a year into college, when he realized you weren’t going to disappear from his life so easily

but also because you were thinking about how the fbi is definitely listening in on your conversations because you got an ad on instagram about those sleeping bags that make it look like you were being eaten by a shark and he HAD to make a comment

Hyungwon: “dude what the fuck”

You: “what?”

Hyungwon: “how bad is your anxiety that you’re worried about the fbi agent in your phone?”

You: …… **narrows eyes** “I didn’t say anything about an fbi agent”

Hyungwon: ah shit, here we go again

anyways

that’s just a small glimpse of what Hyungwon has to hear

your thoughts were hilarious to tune into, to the point where Hyungwon listens in when you’re daydreaming and it’s like his news for the day

and it only got worse (at least for you) because you were constantly censoring your thoughts after your self-discovery of your feelings for him

you two were studying in the library one time for finals and he got real close to get a good look at the textbook to see where you were

and you couldn’t stop thinking about how close he was

but when he looked at you

you immediately switched your thoughts to think about that time Wonho choked on his ramen noodles

Hyungwon: “why are you thinking about Wonho choking?”

You: “because it’s funny?”

Hyungwon: …… “fair point”

and so now, you have something to turn to each time an incident happens

whenever he says something that makes your heart flutter, you think about Ted Bundy’s yellow buggy

whenever he makes you unconsciously jealous, you think about fat cats sitting on glass tables

you have something for everything

and Hyungwon has no idea because you’ve gotten so fucking good at hiding it

until one day, you were out with the boys, trying out this new restaurant that opened beside the river

Jooheon talks about how nice it would be nice to go to the beach sometime

Shownu tries to start plans and says y’all could plan a barbeque and make a whole trip out of it

but then Kihyun whines, saying he’s not ready because he hasn’t gone to the gym in a month

Wonho: “you haven’t gone to the gym period”

Kihyun: “better than me living there like you do”

Wonho: “and who’s the one with the abs?”

Kihyun: “son of a bitch”

that got you thinking

Hyungwon? on the beach? that means he’s just gonna chill on the side

but that also means….. a shirtless Hyungwon

Shownu: “what do you think (y/n)?”

You: “nothing, absolutely nothing”

Hyungwon looks over at you with a knowing look in his eyes

You: “what?”

Hyungwon: ………….. “why are you thinking about fighting giraffes?”

Minhyuk: “.... is that really what (y/n)’s thinking?”

Changkyun: “dude”

You: “sorry for thinking about the zoo?”

Hyungwon: “we were talking about the beach, why were you thinking about the zoo?”

You: god, I wanna die

Hyungwon: “well, are you going to die before or after the beach trip?”

Shownu: “we need to keep track of the body count, (y/n), this is important”

sometimes you also wonder why you like him when these moments occur

but then he gives you that smile and you think to yourself

it do be like that

and because you all are trying to plan out the beach trip, you couldn’t stop thinking about…. shirtless Hyungwon

therefore

starts up more thoughts about fighting giraffes ensue

and more teasing on behalf of Hyungwon to you

Hyungwon: “do you wanna go to the zoo instead???? is that why you keep thinking about these giraffes????”

You: I. want. to. die.

Hyungwon: “you’ll die if you join the fighting giraffes—oW OWW OKAY I’LL SHUT UP”

the nonstop teasing for weekkkkkksss

until he finally asks you, the day before the trip

Hyungwon: “seriously, are you upset that we went out to the beach instead of the zoo?”

You: ugh, this whole ass man keeps making fun of me for thinking about fighting giraffes, this is your fault for being so fucking attract-

You: WONH O CHOKI NG ON RAMEN

Hyungwon: “WHOA NO FINISH YOUR THOUGHT”

You: NO

You: WONHO. CHOKING. LALALALLALA-

you avoided him for the rest of the day and filled your head with more censored thoughts

so he couldn’t hear anything else

and he didn’t

homeboy was left so confused because

he really likes having you as a friend but

having you as a partner would be so much better

he’s liked you since high school

hearing your thought process and little quirks

he grew fond of them

he knows it’s really invasive, but, in his defense, he was still learning to control them

and he found himself staring at you more and more, accidentally hearing your thoughts

one thing he really hated about his power is that even when he’s just taking in your presence………… he can still hear it even if he doesn’t try to

but anyways

he was sure of his feelings, but didn’t wanna push anything until he was absolutely sure

and now just might be that chance

so, after ducking him the entire day, which is hard to do when he’s trying to find you the entire day

(it’s not that hard considering all he hears from you is “FBI AGENTS GET OUT”)

(at least, that’s what you were trying to think so he doesn’t hear anything else about how you were going to explain yourself)

and he manages to catch you when the boys set up a bonfire and there’s no other spots…… except the one next to Hyungwon

which he totally, 100% did not plan

;)

anyways, you try to distract yourself by focusing your attention the marshmallow you have roasting over the fire

whereas he’s trying to read your mind, but it goes to waste as your attention is solely focused on the marshmallow

hence the tune of IU’s Marshmallow being played in your head

some of the other guys leave the bonfire, either to take a nightly beach stroll or to sleep

and that left you, Hyungwon, and a melting marshmallow that you were trying to keep from completely burning

before you could flee though, Hyungwon speaks up

Hyungwon: “what? no fighting giraffes?”

You: “I will hit you with a flaming marshmallow”

you thought about it for a second tho, why did you think about fighting giraffes?

the boys were talking about the beach and then they talked about the trip

and the beach made you think about a shirtless Hyungwon

…………. shirtless Hyungwon

FIGHTING GIRAFFES

Hyungwon: “wait what”

You: fuck

You: “fuck”

and then your worst nightmare happens

he starts laughing

You: “sssttttoooppppppp”

You: “it’s my go-to when I think about you shirtless, okay? are you satisfied?”

he keeps laughing

Hyungwon: “do you like the image that much that you have diverted your thoughts from it?”

You: bitch

Hyungwon: “I heard that”

You: “I KNOW YOU DID”

there’s a bit of a lull and you try to focus on your marshmallow again, but the heat on your face isn’t from the fire alone

Hyungwon: “don’t be embarrassed”

You: “I’m embarrassed because it’s you, idiot”

Hyungwon: “why?”

You: because I like you

Hyungwon: “how dumb of you to think I didn’t feel the same way”

you turn to him

You: really?”

Hyungwon: “yeah really”

Hyungwon: “your marshmallow is burning”

that’s not the only thing burning

you both assumed that was the night that you both agreed to date

the next day, were the boys shocked that the two of you are dating?

not exactly

bc they knew Hyungwon liked you for quite some time and also the fact that whenever one of them did think you were cute….

let’s just say Hyungwon’s mouth said idc but his eyes said he could murder them and get away with it

also he trusted you enough to tell you about this secret of his, so there was definitely a high chance he was going to develop romantic feelings for you anyways

*cue a sad Minhyuk in the corner somewhere*

KIDDING

or am I

anyways

there isn’t much change to your relationship

other than additional cuddling and pecks here and now

altho there are a couple of changes

your thought processes are more clear because now you have nothing to hide but

they are also unclear because it’s like

Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hy—

he also tries more and more not to hear your thoughts, but sometimes it’s hard not to hear them, especially as he openly stares at you more and more

but then again, because of that, he’s gaining better and better control of his powers

he lowkey does use it when you get into arguments because it gives him a better understanding of your perspective and that allows him to provide his and it opens up more communication between you two, even if you don’t have telepathy

also he tried to make up for it by saying everything he’s thinking

that was a very bad idea from the start bc you got annoyed really quickly

but you also kind of sympathized with him

You: “I’m sorry you have to hear my thoughts all the time”

Hyungwon: “that’s not your fault”

You: “but that’s not yours either”

he loves being able to talk to you about these things bc it really feels like someone’s in his corner

you try to understand him better and make things easier

whether it’s getting him better headphones

or distracting him with your own obscure thoughts

I’m very sure that anyone who dates Hyungwon in general is going to nap with him so…

many many naps with him with lots and lots of cuddles

you both take care of one another, physically and mentally

especially since you know he isn’t the type that opens himself up to many people

and hearing all of these thoughts, yours and others, must be exhausting for him

anyways in this household we love and protect Chae Hyungwon bc homeboy is just tired and needs a break

50 notes · View notes

scottybrock · 4 years

Text

Good - Jade West

A/N: Requested by a lovely anon: “may i request a jade west fic? maybe something where you both have crushes on each other but are either too stubborn/too shy to admit it. one of them ends up admitting it tho in the end”

“For the millionth time, I don’t like Jade like that!” You exclaimed, narrowing your eyes at the nosy, waifish brunette standing in front of you. Tori only smirked at you, igniting your fury even further. You clenched your jaw, then slammed your locker shut. You smirked slightly when the noise made Tori jump beside you, a semi-fearful expression that dimmed her pretty features. You turned to face your friend, sighing. “Even if I did,” You were cut off by her high-pitched squeal. “NO!” You shouted.

Tori rolled her eyes at you. “You sound exactly like her,” She pointed out. You scowled at her, then turned back to the locker. “Even if I did like her, she wouldn’t like me like that, anyways. So do me a favor and keep your trap shut.” You walked away without waiting for an answer, leaving behind an affronted and offended looking Tori.

Across the building, Beck was trying to get Jade to admit that she liked you. He and Jade had broken up a few months ago- a pretty amicable split, compared to the last two breakups. Jade had broken up with him. He wasn’t surprised; he could feel her distancing herself from him- at the time, he didn’t know why, but he had a feeling it had to do with a certain someone. Surprisingly, he wasn’t upset by it. He loved Jade, sure, but his feelings for a certain ditzy redhead were making themselves known.

“Dude, for the millionth time, I don’t like her like that!” Jade tried to protest. Really, there was no use. She had dated Beck for close to four years- he knew her better than most people. Most people, but not you. You knew her mood swings and her snappiness better than you knew the fucking alphabet. It was scary. Jade hated letting people get to know her- the real her, behind all of the yelling and angriness that she portrayed. She made herself seem like this unstoppable force of nature, and while she truly was most of the time, another big portion of the time, she wasn’t.

She wasn’t as scary as she tried to make herself to be. Underneath the dark scowls and darker clothes, she had a big heart, and an even bigger capacity for love. But nice people always got taken advantage of- she was guilty of using people, too. She used Tori plenty of times, using Tori’s own words and twisting them into something that would benefit her. She wasn’t proud of it, but she’d done it. She wasn’t innocent.

It scared her to death, to think that you wouldn’t like her, once you got to know the real her. Little did she know, you already did. It only made you like her even more. You always knew that her anger and sharp words were just a facade. You figured it out pretty quickly. But you’d never tell Jade that.

“Jade, really, she-” Beck tried, but Jade cut him off. “NO!” She yelled. Beck simply rolled his eyes. He wasn’t intimidated by Jade. He never had been. Cat flounced up to the both of them, her bright red hair tied up in two pretty pig-tails. Her big brown eyes met Beck’s, and she offered him a shy smile. Jade raised an eyebrow as Beck’s cheeks flushed. He was the very definition of cool and collected- he never blushed.

“Hi, hi, hi!” Cat chirped in her typical sing-song voice. “What’re we talking about?” She asked, twirling a red pig-tail between her tiny fingers. Beck’s voice cracked when he spoke, and Jade snorted, earning herself a sharp nudge to her ribs. “We’re talking about how Jade likes-” Cat cut him off, bouncing on her toes. “Oh! I was listening to her and Tori argue about telling Jade that she-”

“CAT!” You screeched, sprinting over to the tiny redhead. Cat let out a muffled squeak, ducking behind Beck for protection. He stood in front of you, blocking the petite redhead from your murderous gaze. “Whoa! Chill!” Beck exclaimed. Cat pressed herself against Beck, her tiny frame trembling with fright.

“What was she going to say?” Jade asked, looking amused. You narrowed your eyes at the beautiful girl in front of you. Jade’s hair was softly curled, and her bright blue eyes glimmered with mirth. She was wearing a form-fitting black dress, that clung to her curves like a second skin. Her milky white legs looked like they went on for miles. You blinked rapidly. Her full lips were stained an enticing shade of burgundy, and you inhaled sharply. You idly wondered if her lipstick smudged easily- wanted to put it to the test.

“Anyone there?” Jade teased, waving her hand in front of your face. You blinked once more, then refocused on the girl in front of you. “She wouldn’t have said anything,” You replied, your voice calm and collected. Jade raised an eyebrow at you, not believing it for one second. “What were you guys talking about?” You asked, desperately wanting to change the subject.

Luckily, Cat began speaking before you decided to slam your head into a locker over and over again. “We were talking about how Jade likes-” Cat was abruptly cut off, Jade’s hand slapping over her mouth. Jade dug around in her purse with her free hand. She came out with a coloring book and a box of markers. “Color the pretty flowers,” Jade snapped. Cat let out a muffled squeal of delight, her hands grabbing the coloring book and markers from Jade’s outstretched hand.

Beck guided Cat away from the situation, his strong hands on her tiny shoulders. She leaned into his touch, then smiled up at him cheerily. He grinned back down at her. You glanced at Jade, but much to your surprise, she looked calm- serene, almost. Her bright blue eyes shined brighter than the sun, and her pretty face was soft with a smile, aimed directly at you.

“I heard some rumors,” Jade’s voice was soft, shy. It wasn’t often that she sounded so vulnerable. “That you like me. Are they true, or am I getting my hopes up for nothing?” Jade asked. You blinked at her, surprise coating your features. Jade shifted under your gaze, biting her lip. “I like you.” She softly admitted.

You blinked at her once more, your eyelashes brushing against the tops of your cheekbones. You smiled, your cheeks flushing a pretty shade of pink- the color of cherry blossoms in the spring. “I like you, too.” You replied. Jade’s shy smile morphed into something more sure-looking- a broader smile. “Good,” Jade smiled. You tilted your head at her. “Good?” You repeated, your voice curling it into a question.

Jade stepped closer to you, her pretty blue eyes shining. “That way, it’s not weird when I do this.” With that, she grabbed your face gently in her hands, pressing her lips to yours. Your hands flew to her waist, pulling her closer. Your eyes fluttered shut. Jade’s lips were soft against yours, but her kiss was hungry, longing.

When air became a problem for the both of you, you pulled away. Your lips were kiss-swollen, and your expression was one of complete adoration. “That was…” You trailed off. Jade lifted a pierced brow, smirking at you. “Good?” She asked. You reached over to brush a lock of hair behind her ear, smiling when she leaned into your touch. “Yeah,” You replied softly. “Good.”

#jade west #jade west x reader #jade x reader #jade west fanfic #jade west fanfiction #tori vega #beck oliver #cat valentine #victorious

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deniigi · 4 years

Note

I had a really bad day (I wont say why because I wouldnt want you to feel like I'm guilting you into anything) and I was wondering if maybe you had a dfv/lfv or inimitable verse drabble you havent put up or one on here you really like you could point me to (navigation is hard on mobile) or even just some like hcs. If not its totally ok! You dont owe me anything. But I thought I'd ask and see if that's ok.

Oh no!

Sorry that you had a rough day my dear. I don’t have much in the works for those verses right now (I’ve been hammering my head against a wall, trying to write out a piece exploring Gwen and Murderdock’s relationship–it’s not working tho, so I’m stopping). Of course any of the Clint-based pieces are fun in those verses if you need a pick me up, but I am equally fond of Chapter 13 of Sidebars.

But! If you don’t mind a little piece from Lying by Omission/The Sprawl I’ve got cute little bit of Jack and Ben going out to dinner with Matt and Peter?

I’ll put it under the cut if you’re down

—-

“Dad, let’s go out to eat.”

Jack didn’t trust that. Jack had been scarred by the durian. Permanently scarred. He was never coming back from the durian. He was etching a durian with a big ‘X’ through it into the top of his next coffin for future archaeologists to find and have absolutely no questions about.

Matt, sensing that he was presently not receiving the amount of attention that he could be receiving, oozed out of the kitchen and draped himself over the back of the couch, right behind Jack’s shoulders. Jack glanced to the side and noted that he was wearing shoes.

He wasn’t chancing it.

“No shoes on the couch,” he said.

“It’s my couch,” Matt hummed, already migrating over to the couch’s arm, no doubt to burrow his way under Jack’s own arm.

“It’s a couch.”

“My couch,” Matt hummed, plucking Jack’s phone out of his hand and tossing it callously to the other side of said couch. He then executed the burrow and wriggled himself over so that he was the sole occupant of Jack’s lap. He waited, as sweet as could be, until he had Jack’s more or less undivided attention.

The kid was heavy. Jack couldn’t tell if he knew just how heavy he was.

He suspected that he was more than aware of it.

Matt beamed at him. He did not pull his shoed feet over the couch’s arm.

A sign of obedience. Or perhaps a buttering-up technique.

Tricky, tricky.

“Why do we need to go out to eat? What’s wrong with what’s in the fridge?” Jack asked Matt’s untrustworthy grin.

It faded a little because there was a pout which needed doing.

“I’m tired of eating potatoes,” Matt huffed.

“Take it back,” Jack scolded him. “I won’t hear any raggin’ on tatties in this household.”

“I want rice.”

“I’ll make you rice, Matty.”

“I don’t want your rice.”

Picky little shit. Just like his mother. She’d been the type to refuse a peanut butter and jelly sandwich if the slop wasn’t equally distributed.

Jack’s rice was perfectly fine. It even had bits of onion in it. If he was feeling real fancy, he might even cook it in broth or something.

“Fine, so make rice yourself,” he said. Matt squirmed up and wrapped arms around Jack’s neck. He put his cheek against it and immediately made the skin there it itch.

“You need a shave,” Jack huffed, reaching back for his phone. Vanessa was doing battle with her replacement: Bella the cat. She was giving their zombie group the play by play of the her and the cat’s opposing campaigns to win Wade’s favor. Thus far, Bella had broken a plate and gotten scratchies and kisses for it. Vanessa was outraged.

It was an outrage to behold.

“Daddy.”

Not this again. This was no reason to bring out the big guns.

“Get your shoes,” Matt whined.

“Baby, you can go out. I’m not stopping you from going out. No one is stopping you from going out, god help us,” Jack told him.

Matt abandoned his neck, stretched out, quick as a whip, and snatched the phone on the other cushion. He crammed it into his shirt and then replaced himself and his face-broom against Jack’s pulse point.

Yeah.

Yeah, Jack didn’t know what he’d expected to happen here.

“Matt,” he warned.

“Dinner.”

“The last time we went to dinner, you broke my heart, soul, and trust.”

“I won’t do it again.”

“Uh-huh. Yeah, right. ”

“I won’t,” Matt promised, pulling back to add puppy eyes to the mix.

That was unfair. Uncalled for. Totally underhanded.

“Why don’t you go out with Foggy?” Jack tried as a last-ditch effort.

“Because I want to go out with you,” Matt emphasized. “My pops. My old man. We gotta bond. It’ll make me more well-adjusted. The internet says so.”

Jack was confiscating the internet. The internet was a know-it-all snitch.

“DAD.”

“Fine, for fuck’s sake, boy. Get off, you’re drowning me here.”

Jack would go out to dinner on one condition.

Two conditions actually.

1) There was to be no durian. Anywhere. At all.

2) He got to bring moral support.

Matt was more than cool with that because it meant that he could replace the durian with another creative element which would equally torture Jack.

So Jack asked Ben Parker to come along. Parker was sharp as a tack. Compared to Jack, he was a man of the world. A reasonable and sensitive body with respect for his fellow humans. He promised to help Jack identify potential threats to his person flung his way by his uncaring and mischievous son.

Unfortunately, to that end, Matt insisted that they take Ben’s nephew, Peter, out with them too.

Jack knew from the start that this was Matt inserting his chaos element into what might otherwise be a perfectly tolerable and uneventful night out. But he also held out hope that Peter would be the sweet, kind-hearted boy he appeared to be.

It really was too much to ask for.

Peter latched his whole body onto Matt within seconds of their two parties meeting up and the two of them immediately set to whispering which bode poorly for everyone else involved.

“I believe we may have made a mistake,” Ben observed, rubbing thoughtfully at his chin.

Matt wanted rice and Peter wanted something sour enough to leave ulcers in his mouth, so the two of them decided that Thai food would achieve both of these effects. Jack was suspicious. Ben told him that Thai food was very tasty and he had little reason to fear, except.

Except.

“Peter hates durian, it’s fine, he won’t be setting up any conspiracies around it,” Ben promised him.

Mm.

They’d see about that.

Foggy had said something similar when he and Matt had dragged Jack out for Filipino food.

Jack was pretty sure that Peter just wanted a lime. He was 90% sure that all Peter’s cravings could be satisfied with a lime right now.

Matt, however, in an unlikely turn of events, convinced him that he should get food-substances to accompany his burning desire for limes. Peter grumbled at this and deferred to his uncle for support in the face of this logic.

Chaos element, located.

“Pick a carb,” Ben directed.

“Sugar is a carb,” Peter argued.

“Pick a carb in a less refined form,” Ben countered easily.

“If it’s raw sugar, it—”

“Veg, noodles, or rice,” Ben offered him.

Peter scowled.

“You said a carb,” he pouted. “I want sugar.”

“I have good news for you, sweet child of mine,” Ben said fondly. “There is sugar in everything served in the United States of America. You will have your sugar. Pick its structure: veg, noodles, or rice.”

Ben made Jack feel like a shit dad sometimes. Although, to be fair, Jack hadn’t been a dad as long as Ben had.

Peter, outwitted and bitter about it, agitated Matt to help him.

Matt saw no need for that.

“You’re gonna be hungry in an hour and then you’re gonna whine about it,” he declared.

Peter scowled at him and then turned his lethal puppy eyes onto Jack. Jack set up a menu between the two of them because he was not strong enough to cope with that.

Peter whined behind it.

Things were going too smoothly for too long. Jack did not trust the decent behavior happening at this table. Ben got a kick out of his paranoia, which was great because someone needed to.

“What are you hiding?” Jack asked Matt. Matt scoffed.

“Chill, old man,” he said. “We’re literally just having dinner. Maybe try to have a good time, huh?”

No.

Something evil was afoot.

Peter snickered. Matt swatted at him; he easily dodged the hand.

Trouble.

Dinner was eaten and paid for and Jack eventually gave up and settled down. Begrudgingly, he had to admit that Matt was right. Thai food was nice. No incidents had occurred. There was no durian. Ben and Peter made for good conversation, even if everything led back to Peter’s obsession with sci-fi films.

Ben told him that if he kept mentioning them, the aliens would hear him and his name would start to move up higher up on their list of potential captures.

The kid was horrified.

Matt helpfully started counting off the number of times Peter had mentioned aliens in the last week and Peter had briefly looked like he was going to cry.

“Is your wife not going to hear of this?” Jack asked Ben as they walked after the trouble duo who had determined that they were finding dessert at a different location. They seemed to know what they were after, so Jack and Ben left them to it.

“Oh, she will,” Ben said.

“And you don’t mind?”

“She encourages it. She’s convinced him that if you leave a tv on static, aliens can pick up on your watch history.”

Interesting parenting techniques going on here.

Ben laughed.

“Well, I guess we just figure that if you’ve got a weird kid, it’s easier on everyone if you just lean into it. My brother probably wouldn’t be so down with it, but he’s not here, so whatever.”

Ah, right.

“Peter’s your brother’s son, then,” Jack noted.

Ben hummed.

“I…guess,” he said uneasily. “I—it’s hard to explain. I mean, biologically, yeah he’s Rich’s son. But, you know, me and May’ve raised him for longer than Rich and Mary were ever in his life, so, I dunno. Is it fucked up that I kind of think of him as my son?”

No. Not at all.

“My eldest brother pretty much raised me,” Jack told him. “My mama couldn’t be assed to do anything more than scream at the drop of a hat and my daddy was busy drinking himself to death, so Bill was the one who got me up and dressed and off to school in the morning. I always thought of him as a mix between a brother and a mom.”

“No shit?” Ben said. “Where is he? He still around?”

Uuuuuuuh.

“We haven’t talked for a long time,” Jack said.

“Oh? Well, now’s your chance you know.”

Jack tried not to wince too sharply. Ben caught it anyways.

“Or not,” he said. “You don’t have to if its painful or something.”

Oh, buddy.

“We’ll see,” Jack decided. “I’ll need to think about it.”

He didn’t know how Matt would react. Hell, he didn’t know how he would react to seeing Bill again.

Matt and Peter presented Jack with a drink that had evil hiding in the bottom of it.

He should have known better to think he’d escape that night uninjured.

–

I hope this cheers you up my dear and that things get easier for you soon!

#fic #jack murdock #matt murdock #ben parker #I need to do smth for the sprawl for real #ficlet

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okaloid · 6 years

Note

So now that you finally finished reading Fruits Basket what's the verdict? Favorite characters and least favorite characters and why? What about ships? Which did you love which did you hate?

Ooooo do I have a LOT to say about Furuba, let me tell you anon. Mostly good. I really enjoyed the manga and how it depicted the characters. I loved how they all changed and progressed over time for the better, the fact the manga showed all of their personal struggles, how even the mostly positive and seemingly cheerful characters had major flaws they had to work on and had real reasoning behind their behavior and choices….I think one of my favorite things in the manga is that most of the side characters weren’t there simply to interact with the main characters and make the scenes play out more naturally, they were given back stories and even had short or somewhat sizable arcs that depicted them as people with wants and needs, it showed them struggling but also enjoying life and experiences too. They were given substance and it made them feel more real.

At this point Ill give a ~spoiler warning~ to anyone who would want to get into the series so nothing will be ruined for them since I know the pain for this oh too well.

My favorite characters are definitely the main three, so Kyo, Tohru and Yuki. I also really liked Hana, Shigure, Momiji, Kakeru, and towards the final chapters I started to like Machi.

As far as characters I hate…I don’t think I have any? I suppose there were moments I was annoyed with characters, or didn’t care for them (mainly because the few that weren’t given backstory/just there for comic relief so I didn’t have much of a reason to care about them), but I would say I really hated Akito up to a certain point. This was really only up until we were shown why she acted the way she did, why she was so possessive of the members of the zodiac, and why she was so violent and mentally messed up. In the anime you don’t even find out what happens, you just see Akito as an evil and twisted…..well…man, haha. You don’t learn anything about her or have a chance to understand why the Sohma house is so messed up and why they have this nonsensical hierarchy with the “outside” members and the zodiac members. I’ve never been one who likes random action or vague, pointless themes or messages that anyone can loosely relate to in media. I really like being able to analyze people to their cores, or experience compelling storytelling that doesn’t rely on easy plot devices that catch people’s attention. Fruits Basket isn’t perfect, and it definitely has its cliches and silly, unnecessary things, but the good outweighs that in my opinion.

I GOT OFF TRACK THO, SORRY

But I started liking Akito after her first major arc and when her mother was introduced. Her anger was justified to me, her constant abuse to the other Sohmas was not in any way shape or form, but seeing how insecure in her own existence and importance to the family showed just how flawed and broken of a person she was. She wasn’t just an evil character thrown into the story to cause problems for the main characters. She wasn’t void of all human emotions for “””plot”””. She was shown to be an incredibly broken individual who wanted love and to feel needed so much that it drove her somewhat crazy. She was never given a chance to determine what she wanted to be, her birthright was to be “God” and was promised the love of the other zodiac members, forced to be something she was not based on her mother’s orders, father (who was really the only person who loved her for WHO she was not what) passing. I believe she could’ve been a very good person if given the chance…but suffering a lot from a young age really effects a person.

Now I liked the Sohmas for the reasons I mentioned above. For the main three, I’d say I loved Tohru’s unwavering enthusiasm. Even though in the final arc it was revealed she mainly started acting the way she did to seem more like her father, you could argue this was who she truly was at that point in time. I’d say this was who she always was, but since she started “acting” like her father when she was so young, she probably couldn’t remember or didn’t realize. Perhaps she couldn’t tell she was a good person, she often joked about it and refused praise from people being how humble she was. I think Tohru’s self worth was very low, though even so she wanted to make those around her happy any way she could. After seeing what her father’s death did to her mom, Tohru couldn’t stand seeing people she cared about be in any pain. It showed every time she learned something awful about another. She felt their pain in a way, the readers could see that. She was honest to goodness a pure hearted person who would do anything for anyone, even if that meant she would get harmed in the process of helping them (much like with Akito nearing the end of the manga and most definitely with Kyo when his true form was shown).

I actually didn’t like Yuki at first, really. He kind of reminded of a Kuudere? He was very detached, cold, somewhat bland to me at first. Like a cardboard cutout character of the “prince” stereotype. He looked like the typical calm and collected cool guy in anime that I don’t really care for. Though as time went on and he started to come out of his shell, you were able to see what he was really like. He didn’t hide in fear of transforming anymore, he started to become more comfortable in himself and the thought of forming relationships with others. His fear and depression seemed to slowly fade the more he tried to “open the lid”. We saw him finally form a relationship with his brother (and towards the end of the manga it honestly warmed my heart to see), he became more tolerant of Kyo and seemed to care for his well-being, along with his and Tohru’s forming relationship. After he realized what he saw in Tohru and how he felt about her, he seemed to start learning more about himself with her help. From having that care and support on Tohru’s end, Yuki was able to find himself and really progress as a person. Seeing him in a healthier mindset made me very happy. I could see a little of Ayame in him towards the end too!

Now for Kyo, he’s easily my favorite character. I don’t know why I usually like Tsunderes (cause in real life they’d annoy the hell out of me) but with Kyo’s backstory and upbringing, his bad attitude made sense. I get being a sassy or rude teenager, but unnecessarily violent just because your parents are mean? Ehhhhh. But Kyo was literally damned at birth. He was the curse of the zodiac and his existence was literally to give the other members more comfort in their identities. Purely existing just so others will hate themselves less by comparing their situation to yours is horrible. By Akito’s own words and opinion, Kyo was worthless. A disgusting creature who’d rot in his cell when his time came. The cat was never given a fair chance like the others were. His isolation from people and constant abuse from his father and other Sohma’s tore him down, he saw no value in himself and only lived out of pure spite for Akito and Yuki. The “I’ll kill him and then myself” line always got to me. It’s shown his only purpose of living for a time was to get revenge for the cat. Not for himself, or for others, just for revenge. It was so sad to see. He grew on me instantly though, he was overly blunt, a little socially inept, bashful, and a bit violent, but he had a conscious. HE showed remorse when he’d really hurt Tohru’s feelings, and tried his best to make up for them in a way he could. Towards the end of the manga he most definitely grew up, matured, calmed down a lot, and became more tolerant of the things he once hated. He was able to heal, and I straight up C R I E D when his curse was lifted.

As for my shiiiiiips I obviously love Kyo/Tohru and Yuki/Machi are my main ones. though I definitely favor Kyo and Tohru over anyone else lol.

I hope this isn’t too much to read? Lol/ Also sorry this took me forever anon, I’ve been busy. ; v ;

#anons #fruits basket #furba #furuba #Yuki Sohma #kyo sohma #Tohru Honda #akito sohma #machi

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sometimesverysad · 5 years

Text

I’ve finally cut them out of my life so I suppose it’s a good enough time as any to share my story

So for me I think I was a really lonely child. I didn't have a lot of friends and was really shy. The friends that I did make I quickly lost because I was temperamental and bossed other kids around. We lived in the middle of nowhere anyway and my mom wanted to homeschool me so I didn't have a lot of chances to make friends either way. My dad and mom got divorced when I was 5. My dad says it's because she cheated on him and because he couldn't handle her outbursts anymore, my mom says because he had major anger issues and hoarded all their money in a safe she didn't know the passcode to and would always buy himself things, a brand new truck, guns, and the like with it but never anything for her or for me. I think it was a mix of all their problems that made the relationship unhealthy for everyone. After the divorce we moved in with my grandma for a time and my mom had to enroll me in public school against her wishes.

Elementary school for me was interesting for sure. My teachers thought I had a learning disability until about 2nd grade and put me in classes that retaught me the basics. Third grade was a weird in-between year. Fourth grade they put me into one of those gifted students classes where they split you off from the rest of the class for most of the day and teach you "advanced topics" and expect you to juggle both the work from the advanced classes and the classes you didn't actually take but that you're supposed to already know the information from anyhow. I don't remember it being too hard? I still didn't really have friends, I was bullied a lot, but didn't care much. I was one of those kids that was bullied but stood up to their bullies and other people's bullies for them so they learned not to mess with me XD I just knew it was better than home. I never wanted to go home.

So my mom remarried right away. I'm not sure if she was already seeing him before my dad and her spilt or she just felt the need to immediately jump into another relationship because she couldn't handle living under her mother's roof with her sister again. They didn't get along well, any of them together. That toxic matriarchy they had going carried on to the next generation as well. Grandma is eccentric, to say the least. She was abused by her own mother so much so that she has completely blocked her childhood out. She simply doesn't remember it. Then my grandpa made it big with his company and left her for his secretary whom he started another family with. My aunt had a lot of trouble coping with her dad doing that to them, and became pregnant with my cousin when she was 15. My cousin has a mental and physical disorder that makes her unable to walk or talk because she had whooping cough when she was born but she wasn't tested for it. My mother had her own issues. They didn't make for a healthy family back then, as they were all still figuring things out.

My step dad, Carl, came into the picture and he was... not the kindest person. He and my mom worked at a nursing home together. I later worked there myself (although I'll get to that later) and I figured out that he puts on the facade that he is the kindest most caring person you'd ever meet beyond closed doors. Everyone loved him. It was sickening. At home he was a raging alcoholic. I remember being 5, 6, through about 11, or 12, and having to take my little brother and hide in my room when he'd throw his fits. He was only scary as far as yelling and occasionally throwing things though. Things could've been worse. Maybe if we wouldn't have hidden as often, or my aunt and grandma wouldn't have picked us up to take us for weekends as often as they did... idk he sobered up after elementary school. Don't really remember what was the changing point.

My dad tried I think. To be there throughout my life. At least he told me he did. He was a compulsive liar even before he went down the path he did. In elementary school it wasn't that bad tho. Just a lot of broken promises and a hopeful little me that thought her dad was going to someday make good on the promise to take her away from her mom and stepdad. He didn't hurt me so much until later years.

My mom was another story tho. She's always been what's held me back in life. I could get over my dad and my stepdad. I figured I didn't need either of them so it didn't matter. Idk

Basically she has been diagnosed with a lot of different things throughout her life. Manic Bipolar schizo Effective Disorder is the one i usually stick with when telling people about her. She was... a hard person to live with. She enrolled me in gymnastics and cheer-leading for kids my age because she was trying to live her old dream through me. I didn't like it, I was never a sociable kid. I could do nothing right in her eyes. I always had to be better than everyone else. In sports and in school. It didn't help that she favored my brother as soon as he was born. I still had to be perfect tho. she wasn't forgiving when I wasn't. And when I was she never praised me, only told me my attitude should be better. That I should be grateful she even fed me or clothed me. compared me to the devil and my brother to an angel. When I was in first grade that was the first time she went to the mental hospital while I was alive. I felt relief. My brother was only a baby then. I think he went to live with my grandpa and his family who were very well off and I went to live with my grandma and aunt and cousin. It only lasted 6 months. I wished I would never have gotten to see her again. I would have panic attacks at school when I wasn't good at something. The other kids probably thought I thought I was too good to be partnered up with them because I would complain about being worried i wouldn't receive a high enough grade when paired with kids who were known to have lower grades, when I just didn't want to deal with my mother's wrath. There were several times I came to school with a fever of 104 or more, both because my mother told me I would go to jail for skipping school, and because she told me she would take my bed away if i didn't anyway so what was the point in staying home to rest and recover? Her lies and bluffs(?) definitely didn’t help with my growing anxiety disorder. I tell myself now that I couldn’t have known whether she was lying to me or not but it doesn’t change much.

In 6th grade there was a new program called Phoenix that sported the idea of 40 students being chosen through a lottery throughout several school districts in the Columbus Area to go to a middle school where "mastery” and perfection were expected across the board of all it's students in all their classes. I got in. I had never made my mother so proud. She cried. I thought maybe it meant new beginnings for me.

So middle school was a big changing point in my life, but sadly not for good reasons. The first year, I made friends. That was good. Cat and I went to the same school, whereas we could only ever hangout outside of school before. I suppose I didn't mention her or Emma yet. My two best friends for years. Sometimes, when my mom allowed me out of her sight I could make up excuses about having homework we needed to work on together to go and take refuge at their houses. They had warm, loving parents. The first few I had ever had the pleasure of meeting.

Anyway, Cat specifically, was my neighbor a couple houses down from my mom's home now, my grandma's old home which she continues to rent out to my mom and Carl indefinitely. My mom was used to the lavish life, since my grandfather had given it to them before his remarriage. She wanted to live in a house in a rich neighborhood instead of the apartments we had lived in before on a worse-off side of town during most of my elementary years. So when my aunt got married and she and my cousin, grandma, and new uncle moved to Hilliard, mom made a deal with grandma to pay her a hefty rent monthly to live there instead. The house came with its problems, it was basically falling apart and was and still is to this day a fixer upper years after. But it was a roof over our heads. It didn't matter to my mother that we couldn't afford things like books for school or new clothes and later food at home, she had what she wanted. Appearances, she was always concerned about appearances. Probably why she never hurt me enough to leave bruises or marks. She loved to pull my hair. Loved to make me doubt my own sanity and self worth. It was fine though because I was happy at school. Phoenix had longer hours than the other local middle school options too. We were usually there ‪from 6:45 to 4:50‬ every day. Getting too comfortable was probably my downfall tho.

Because there were only 40 kids to the whole grade I was in, and 80 in the school total it was a pretty tight-knit community. Not really any bullying. Even someone like me had ‪around 15-20‬ friends among everyone there. I was happy. I was loved. It was Cat, Gabe, Harald, and I. We had a lot of other friends that we weren't as close with, they made up the "nerd herd", that we were in and liked to call ourselves, but they were all kind. And then there was all the friends I had made from my extracurricular too, which was only Choir at the time, so that I could keep my grades up.

I don't remember what had started it all, but basically some stupid drama had happened with a friend of mine, then another, then another. Basically things that I counted on being good got shitty too, and so my home and school life being bad together got to me a little too much. My grades were slipping and my mom and real dad both had to come into a school meeting for that, hell they scared the crap out of all my teachers. That's a laugh thinking back on it now. The controlling matriarch and the dad that's so chill he should never have had kids in the first place. Not to say my mother ever should have had them. My parents were both unfit to be parents. I was pretty depressed about it back then tho, enough so that I wrote a letter on the bus home about how nobody would miss me if I disappeared. Honestly I can't even remember if it was a for real suicide note or if it was just me acting out to get attention. That was the first time my depression had reared it's ugly head outright like that tho. Before it was just all the symptoms. I had never had a name for it. No big deal tho. A lot of people have depression. For a lot of people it starts young. And besides, where families commonly had diabetes, or cancer, physical illnesses you could formally diagnose, mental health problems were my families' specialty. My mom with hers, my dad with his undiagnosed paranoia and excessive anger and depression, his father's own suicide, my mother's grandmother receiving shock treatments for her own demons, etc etc, it went pretty far back. My mom expected this of me. Except that she was never prepared to actually deal with the situation when it was presented to her.

One of my choir friends had seen me writing that note on the bus, and sadly, she decided to be good friend and report me to the school counselor. My mother was furious when she found out. I was in the garage working on some cruddy science project when she came home from work that night and slammed every door in her path. It was one of the only times she ever hit me hard enough to leave a mark. basically it ended in "I had wasted her time and how dare she get a call at work for nonsense like that." She scoffed at the idea. She dared me to do it. I don't remember much of the rest of that year. I'm sure I carried on by somehow pretending things were going to be alright.

The second year of middle school was even worse tho haha. My mom had to go to the mental hospital again. You would think that'd be great with how it had gone the first time. Just a vacation from her. But I think maybe it was because she was more removed from her family that it took so long to get her into the hospital that time. Carl, my stepfather, didn't know what to do, and didn't see the signs like Grandma and my aunt could. He and mom had practically been newly weds the time before. So my brother and I got to witness her downward spiral. The worst part was that it was like we had a whole new mom. At least for me. I wasn't used to being shown love. She called me pet names, and played with my hair. One time I wasn't wearing a seat-belt and she shot her arm out to protect me from going flying through the front window of her car when she had to slam on the brakes. We didn't have a lot of money but she took us to parks and we rolled down hills and did stupid whimsical things happy families do with their toddlers and preschoolers. The entire summer I grew attached to a woman who wasn't my mother, but I didn't know any better myself. She quit her job at the nursing home. She got a job at a pizza place and had me come in with her to make pizzas all the time when school started up. Told her boss I was shadowing her for a school project. She started talking to kitchen appliances at home. She became devoutly religious out of nowhere, even though we hadn't been to church since I was in 3rd or fourth grade when it had started to conflict scheduling wise with all of the sports I was in. In the mornings before she'd leave for work she would tell us how much she loved us then scream at us for ever being born then put her head in her hands and look up and tell us how much she loved us again.

Then they took her away. It took four police officers, four grown men, to drag her out of the house kicking and screaming. She had had a fit in the middle of the night and had smashed a lot of the furniture and appliances in the house. They took her away in a paddy wagon. The school heard from my grandmother and aunt what had happened. The poor counselor had just wanted to console a child in the time of an absent mother, she wasn't expecting an abuse case that went generations so far back she wouldn't be able to recount them to the police when they took me into their custody. Even before that tho the hospital my mom had been placed in made a mistake and let her out early, on "good behavior" they noticed too late that she had very obviously faked. We got calls to my house for days with her making threats on everyone involved's lives. She told us in the messages that she would come to take my brother and I away and kill anyone who tried to stop her. I was scared for our lives, but at the same time, found I didn't want mine anymore. I told the counselor at school I planned to kill myself. That's when the state took me into their custody. It only proved to piss my unhinged mother off even more, but luckily they finally found her, lurking outside my brothers elementary school, due to them taking me and making her come out of hiding. I went from children services to an urgent care facility, to a drug rehab center, to a mental hospital of my own, all within a 48 hour period. I was spit at and threatened by patients, called a liar indirectly by my close and distant relatives alike, and treated like a paycheck by employees at each place. I still wanted to die. I just felt that way in a mental hospital 3 hours away from everyone I knew. I was kept there for 6 days and then sent to live with an aunt on my dad's side of the family that I had only seen at Christmas's and Easters. I shortly had to go back to a different mental hospital which only kept me for 5 days. After living with her, I went to live with my grandma and aunt and uncle and cousin on my mom’s side. I was given the privilege of finishing out my school year living with them. The only thing that got me through was being promised I could live with my dad and his fiance at the time (who was not much older than me, I wasn't even sure she was legal) when the summer came and we could move out of state to start fresh somewhere else. He never knew how to parent tho. I packed all the things I had in two garbage bags and we moved to live in a government run homeless shelter for the two months of summer before my freshman high school year. He couldn't figure out how to get me registered in the schools out in Wheeling and so I moved back to my mom's house and that was that. All children services did was piss my mom and her immediate family off and give them fuel to hate me even more for years to come. That and give me a more realistic view of who my father really was, by killing my idealistic thoughts about him one day saving me. Thus my high school years began.

Part 2 to be written at a later date -KC

#personal #deppression #depressing thoughts #tw suicude #tw depressing thoughts #abuse tw #tw suicidal thoughts

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sobdasha · 5 years

Text

I know tomorrow’s ep is gonna ruin me

so I might as well start a ~thoughtful post~ about it ahead of time.

Specifically, the thing I anticipate wrecking me the most is that Tohru's "let's go home" speech to Kyou isn't a love-and-acceptance speech.

It's a fuck-you speech.

I wanted to do a meta post about this because while this is a very powerful moment and gives me very powerful feels, I've also always kind of not got it? Like what makes this moment with Tohru special? Because she's scared? Other people were scared too, the fact that they tried to deny it kind of proves how scared they were. And Kyou said she didn't have to love everything and she kind of basically said "too bad I love everything anyway" so how was that a compelling argument? Everyone else here (Kazuma, Kagura) has behaved selfishly so why does Tohru's selfishness fix the problem?

Like with that Hiro post, I figure if I just keep pondering and typing eventually I'll figure it out and go "oh snap Takaya's brilliant"

Anyway.

I've always been tempted to read Tohru's "let's go home" speech to Kyou as a love-and-acceptance speech. Which is a waste of a good resource, and a huge disservice, because thinking that way tends to reduce Tohru to the Mary Sue stereotype that Hiro accuses her of being--all Tohru has to do is stand there and say a few nice things and suddenly everyone's problems melt away? Seriously?

((Doing more skimming research later in this post, it turns out I'd completely forgotten that Akito and Kyou literally have a whole conversation about this, where Akito's like "wow St. Tohru is unreal" and Kyou's like "you literally missed the point tho." My bias for Yuki as favorite character instead of Best Boy Kyou is unfortunately strong, guys.))

Which is probably why I find the True Form arc to be a bit forgettable when I don't have it open in front of me. And also why I've always found it a little illogical. While I love the end results, why is this particular love-and-acceptance speech, at this specific time, actually effective for Kyou?

Kyou's received a lot of love-and-acceptance speeches in his life, and to be quite honest he doesn't believe them. He has no faith in them. And he's got logic here.

Kyou's mother always told him she loved him, she loves her son, she's proud of her son, you're not a monster you're just...under an evil spell temporarily, and I'm not scared at all. She talked the talk, but Kyou was always sensitive to the fact that her actions didn't necessarily match her words (she was always, always scared, I think. Maybe a bit of Kyou, but mostly of her husband). And when it became too much and she gave up on herself and her future and took her own life, well. Kyou knew exactly how empty "love and acceptance" was.

Kagura was the first one to play with Kyou when they were kids, and she's devoted her life to telling Kyou that she loves him, she loves everything about him. But when she saw Kyou's True Form she ran away, kept her distance for a while, and then came back and pretended nothing had ever happened and restarted her dating campaign with a vengeance. It's not clear to me whether Kyou ever realized that Kagura started paying attention to him out of pity, but I suspect it's something he's pretty good at picking up on.

Kazuma adopts Kyou out of a mix of pity and an attempt to atone for his past behavior, like Kagura, and honestly I'd forgotten that Kyou literally says a couple of times that he suspects pity was a factor. But their relationship grows beyond that pity, even Kyou is sensitive to that, and it's not something he holds against Kazuma. So I'm sure Kazuma gives Kyou plenty of earnest love-and-acceptance speeches, given that he loves and accepts his son. But even so it's complicated for Kyou, and those speeches can't make Kyou love and accept himself.

Tohru, of course, gives all the Soumas plenty of love-and-accepting speeches, and Kyou is no exception, Kyou you have a plum on your back. This doesn't serve to make Kyou like himself so much as it serves to make Kyou like her.

This time, though. This time that's not the kind of speech Tohru gives Kyou. Look at Tohru's face, right as she turns around. She's determined and she's pissed.

This is a good character development for Tohru! I think this is her first real, stubborn attempt to be selfish without someone having pushed her towards it first.

Kyou has just hurt Tohru, physically and emotionally. Get the fuck away, he tells her. I can't stand you, he tells her. I don't ever want to see you again, he tells her, and if I do I'll take my claws to your face next time.

And Tohru starts to go. This whole thing is overwhelming and it's only been like 10 minutes and she hasn't processed at all yet. She's hurt, she's really hurt, but most of all she doesn't want to be a bother, she doesn't want to be a burden, she doesn't want to be hated, Kyou has clearly expressed his feelings and she should respect that.

And then Tohru stops and draws herself up and makes that face.

And runs back.

And grabs Kyou and tells him, fuck you, what about my feelings, come home. I literally don't understand what the fuck is going on, I'm sick and I'm scared and come home. I don't want you to give up on yourself, but you don't get to give up on me before you've even given me a chance to process this and decide if I'm okay keeping you in my life. And guess what, fucker, I still want you in my life so come home because I don't want to live in a house that doesn't have you in it. You told me to tell you that so listen. You have to return the favor and tell me when you're upset and let me care about you so just come home.

Obviously Tohru phrases it differently but I feel like that's the accurate gist of the hysterics lol.

Tohru doesn't say "oh it's okay I love you it's not...it's not that scary! Trust me!", which is a thing Kyou has learned not to trust.

Tohru says "I know this sucks but bitch what about me" which is, honestly, one of the things Kyou feels in regards to his mom that he's yet to unpack, so this really resonates with him. This is real.

(It's real and it's raw and Laura Bailey is going to destroy me and I can't wait to actually be debilitated by the True Form arc.)

I don't have a good transition but now I wanna talk about Kyou's relationship with pity

Pity in regards to Kyou is something that comes up a lot throughout the series. Kagura befriends Kyou out of pity so that she can feel good about herself. Kazuma pities Kyou after seeing the shit the Cat has to go through and takes him in. Kazuma worries that Tohru might only be with Kyou out of pity, like his grandmother towards his grandfather. I believe Shigure tells Tohru at one point "seriously did you really think we don't all know about Kyou and we aren't all pitying him and saying 'thank god it's not me, I'm getting off great compared to the Cat' to ourselves in secret?" And of course, Kyou himself says that he doesn't want or need Tohru's pity during the True Form confrontation.

Pity can be condescension and looking down on someone. Pity is something unequal, compared to compassion, something that might imply insult, something that's embarrassing to receive because it implies you can't get compassion on your own merits or your own level. And pity is something forced.

Thinking about this, I think Kyou can actually really relate to Rin (which might be part of why he was so jealous that she might take Shishou from him when Kazuma got concerned about her welfare, that similarity, in addition to the obvious fact that Kyou has just got a good thing and it's his good thing and don't take it from him). Rin's parents, presumably out of some combo of pride and pity and status, decided to force themselves to make a good show of being a happy family. And because they forced themselves to "love" Rin, it went to hell in a bullet train when it broke.

Kyou's mom went a similar-enough way. She tried to put on a show of normalcy, tried to force herself to be okay and say all the right, loving things to Kyou while her husband kept telling her that she'd shamed him, bad enough to have a cursed child but of all the Zodiac you gave birth to the cat monster, you should have died rather than have that child, we'd all be better off if you'd do us a favor and just die. And when the pressure got to be too much, she did just that.

So I think it's not unreasonable that Kyou might have separately come to the same conclusion that Rin does. Pity--forced love--breaks people. People who feel compelled to love you will get burnout and possibly explode and definitely have their lives ruined. (This is why Rin doesn't want to rely on Haru, doesn't want Yuki to rely on Haru, doesn't want anyone to rely on Tohru.)

This is, I think, half of why Kyou distances himself from people. Half of it is to protect himself, because obviously he doesn't like getting hurt. But half of it is to protect other people, because he doesn't want them getting hurt.

He does it with Tohru, trying not to get close to her (he already killed her mom, the least he could do is just never get involved with her again), trying to run her off during the True Form arc by hurting her so badly that she won't regret having nothing to do with him again. He does it to Kazuma, yelling "He's not my dad!" so people will stop saying the shit they associate with Kyou to Kazuma as well (directly after the True Form, Kyou levels up his character development and tells Kazuma that one day he'll be worthy of calling Shishou his dad in public, which is good, although the fact that Kyou still thinks he is currently not someone Kazuma can claim as a son without shame is a development Kyou will have to work on later).

And, ohhh shit, I'm pretty sure Kyou does this with Kagura too. Kagura says that Kyou is the first one to pull back after their own True Form incident (she later admits to herself that no, actually, the first one to pull away was her because she never invested herself in their friendship in the first place because pity). And that is probably, again, partly because Kagura freaked out and ran off and just left Kyou there, and Kyou doesn't want any further rejection from her. Partly because it probably got around, and Kyou's dad made sure Kyou's mom heard about it, and Kyou's mom tried to make peace by keeping a tighter rein on Kyou.

But before the incident, Kyou and Kagura are really good friends, and Kyou really enjoys being with her. After the incident, after they mutually avoid each other, after Kagura comes back around and pretends that nothing happened, after Kagura reaffirms that she loves Kyou no matter what, that's when Kyou starts pushing back for her to leave him alone.

Maybe it's just Kyou's usual touchiness and I'm reading too much into it. It's not terribly long after the incident that Kyou's mother ends her life, and Kyou's being blamed for it instead of being allowed to grieve, and he blames himself, and after that he's a different kid and he's really prickly and quick to anger around everyone except Shishou.

But I don't think it's unreasonable to put forward that Kyou still liked Kagura as a friend, and he saw how Kagura reacted, and pretending nothing was wrong was part of what killed his mom, and if he still likes Kagura as a friend then the best thing Kyou can do for her is to shove her forcefully away from him, over and over, until she stops associating with him and getting hurt because of it. Before she gets hurt badly.

Like I put somewhere in an earlier post, Kyou doesn't like Kagura romantically. He certainly doesn't like having his space violated and his feelings ignored. But he (grudgingly) lets her get a way with a lot that speaks to a certain tenderness towards her. Especially later, during Kagura's confession--he's not warm and he's not close and open to her, but he also listens to Kagura, he forgives her, he says thank you, and when she runs to him he lets her cry into his shirt until she's through. You aren't that accommodating to someone you don't care about.

(On the flip side, it occurs to me that--for all that Kagura is a jealous rival of Tohru for Kyou's love--Kagura doesn't come around and act like it much. As Tohru points out, Kagura's really been holding back. I think that Kagura's being honest when she adds at the end of her confession that she really did come to love Kyou after all. It's unrequited, and she's always known that, and she's been struggling with it since Tohru came into the picture. But I think deep down she does like Kyou enough to want him to be happy, and she's realizing that he might be able to be happy with Tohru in a way he can't be with Kagura, and it's super embarrassing and painful to have to admit that to herself, but she's been working on letting go even though she herself doesn't want to be doomed to a life of unloved loneliness, which is what she believes will happen if she lets go of Kyou. Kagura, like Hiro, has character development struggles that are mostly internal.)

Things I only just realized about Kyouru

I have talked before about the fact that Kyou and Tohru's relationship works because they can get to the heart of each other and really see each other and connect on the same level in a way no one else does with them. What I did not really think of, at the time, is that Kyou and Tohru are actually very similar. They actually have a very similar problem.

Which just goes to show my intense Yuki bias, because Kyou has flat-out said over and over again that he believes himself to be a burden and I guess I didn't notice??

And I've just spend so much time saying that this is Tohru's biggest anxiety.

They differ a bit in the execution. Tohru considers herself as starting off at a net zero, basically: she doesn't exactly think her existence is problematic, but she doesn't feel that she offers any worth or value to compensate for the efforts she takes from other people, so she's terrified of being a burden and thus causing people to resent and hate and reject her.

Kyou considers himself as starting off at a negative: he has nothing of any worth to offer to people around him, and he believes that just being around him is actively detrimental to other people, so he just assumes people naturally hate him and avoids everyone and pushes away people who try to get close to him, especially people he loves. (He makes some exceptions when he really really loves, like keeping Shishou at arm's length in some regards but basking in his dad the rest of the time, and giving into his fondness for Tohru even though he knows it's going to go bad.)

Tohru's had her worldview reinforced by being abandoned by a young and grieving Kyouko. Kyou's had his worldview enforced by being told that people who are kind to him die of it.

Kyou's mom loved him more than anyone; Kyou's mom died for him/died because it's his fault. Kyouko was nice to Kyou; Kyou's secret is safe at the cost of Kyouko dying from that car. The beads that keep sealed the Cat's true form are made from the bones and blood of a priest; the way people retell the story implies that Kyou straight-up murdered this guy ages ago, or at least that Kyou's taking advantage of a sacrifice that was forced and not willing. (I mean honestly it could go either way, but lately I've been thinking that it seems unlikely you'd go murder some holy guy to make some beads to seal up a cat monster that you hate when you could just murder the cat monster, don't tell me olden days Souma wouldn't just find that simpler; it seems to me like the sort of effort you'd go through for someone you actually cared minimally about, and that the priest probably devoted himself to holiness for just such a reason, probably offered to have a holy death and create a protective relic. Not that that would make Kyou feel any better.)

This probably ties back into the whole pity thing...Kyou doesn't want people to feel compelled to love him, to force themselves to love him, because not only do they not get any benefit but he has actively negative worth and it hurts people to be around him. Kyou, like Tohru, finds it hard to accept that people might not see it as a burden or a harm to be kind to him. That they might want to be kind to him and enjoy his presence. These children can't just let themselves take the damn donuts.

And that's probably the why of why Kyou, specifically, and not Yuki, is so good at noticing Tohru's issues and actively pushing her to be selfish. It's hard to help yourself, but it can be easier to see yourself in others and give them the advice that you yourself won't take. Let yourself be selfish and live a life that makes you happy. Complain when you need to. Let yourself have some donuts when donuts are being handed out, even if you don't think you deserve them/some jerks have told you you don't deserve them and you're a fake for taking a donut.

(I'm not sure Kyou's ever actually heard this bit, and I don't have time to unpack it right now, but uggghhh I just remembered that Tohru low-key blames herself for her mother's death as well. If she'd been more grateful...if she'd had her priorities straight and her mother was the most important thing in her life, more important than trying her best in school...if she'd just managed to say "Come home safe", then her mom wouldn't have died, and because she was an ungrateful daughter and didn't say it that one time she lost her mom. Nnnn my heart.)

Again I don't have a good transition, but as I think about all this I think I get why Kyou is able to accept Tohru's fuck-you speech as being a real and sincere thing he can depend on instead of instantly assuming it's pity. He's probably not thinking straight enough to realize that Tohru's just taken a level in character development and is being remarkably selfish and open about what she wants from him, not just yet.

But looking at Kyou's past experience with True Form reveals…

Kyou's mom tries to reassure Kyou that everything is fine and normal. She smiles and says all the right things and pretends not to be perturbed. Tohru, as Kyou notes, is clearly not fine about things, she's overwhelmed and sick and scared and clinging to him while shaking and crying. "Can't you see?! Smell?!" Kyou demands when Tohru doesn't instantly run off, but it's pretty clear she does because Tohru isn't smiling, isn't trying to pretend this doesn't bother her. She's undeterred, yes, but she's very bothered.

Kagura's scared too, when she sees, and Kagura runs away. Tohru's scared and she runs toward. Again, Tohru's not hiding her fear even if she's not letting her fear stop her, Tohru's not smiling her serene smile, Tohru clearly would rather run away and go "what the fuck?!?!?!" for a while before dealing with the fallout. Tohru's not a saint, Tohru's just slightly more scared that she'll never see Kyou again after this if she leaves now than she is of Kyou's true form. She's kind of almost passed through the other side of terror into desperation.

Tohru's biggest anxiety is that she'll be abandoned for being a burden, true, but Tohru also is terrified of being preemptively abandoned because the other person has decided they're a burden for Tohru. That's exactly what Hana tried to do in middle school. Hana tried to give up on Uo and Tohru.

"Give up on" isn't a phrase used in the True Form arc, but it comes up plenty elsewhere. Momiji says much later that he's done giving up on the Cat. More specifically, when Kyou's unpacking his complicated feelings about his mom and her death, he says at one point that he wishes she hadn't given up on herself and had stayed together with him. And since mom plays into the True Form arc (as does the "being together" sentiment), I feel it's valid to drag the "giving up on" idea into it as well.

Kyou tries to give up on Tohru--decides for himself that she'll reject him, so he rejects her first and pushes her away so she won't force herself to take pity on him and keep forcing herself to love him--and Tohru probably realizes that he's doing it, since she saw it before with Hana. She's determined to go back to Kyou because she's prioritizing her own wants, but I think probably the reason she also looks pissed is because she's realized Kyou's given up on her and she's not gonna let him get away with it.

I think Kyou wishes that he could cling to people, could have clung to his mom and told her not to give up, the way Tohru is clinging to him there. That he could admit that things suck and are scary and painful, but that he wants to keep clinging on regardless and staying together without anyone giving up, the way Tohru is doing right now. Instead of, like everyone else, pretending that shit is fine even though it sucks and it's scary and it's painful and then giving up on the people around him and keeping a distance.

Kyou recognizes what Tohru feels--and that what Tohru feels is sincere--because it's the same feelings he has about his mom. Which is why, even though it sounds a bit like a Saint Mary Sue love-and-acceptance speech, it's a fuck-you that hits Kyou right in the heart and makes Kyou feel accepted and understood for the first time in his life. Not because Tohru is perfect, but because Tohru is flawed and broken and a terrified mess.

#sobdasha fic adjacent #fruits basket #i didn't outline this out to the best effect #or really proofread thoroughly #so hopefully it makes sense #but i spent hours investing myself into this lol and having too many feelings #i stayed up too late to finish this because i know i won't be coherent enough to put anything like this together after tomorrow's episode #this is how good the reboot is though #no longer am i reevaluating my interpretations with each new episode #i'm managing to re-engage with the source material even before new episodes air to give me a new perspective #also the sheer amount of things i've missed that are right there in the manual are...embarrassing

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sillyfudgemonkeys · 6 years

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Oh! I wanna hear your hyper critical opinions towards p3 (and p4 if youre up to it). I am genuinely curious as to what it is!

pDSOAPFADFJIOA;FJIA;JF;DA Ahhhhhhh if only I wrote down everything I said (I did this over a year ago). under the cut cause long:

It was easier cause I was ripping it as we played and I had some nitpicks in the dialogue (more so with like “WAIT THAT MAKES NO SENSE!” or “WHY ARE YOU JUMPING TO THAT CONCLUSION?!” kinda thing rather than a translation error). But I can’t really specify what it was cause it was so long ago. The only one that comes to mind is when they’re jerks to Naoto, it must be how she’s talking in Japan cause like.......they’re really, REALLY rude to her. Like, they do realize she has a right to be suspicious of them right? Like, don’t get me wrong, I loooooooove the animosity in some way (great foe-yay/rival shipping yay fodder for me to ship her with the MC ahuhuhu 8U) but dang I wish they made more tension (and made it even). That’s actually the one thing I thought the P4 anime did right (and trust me I don’t think that anime did a lot of things right, esp concerning Naoto...ironically XD), they really built the tension between her and the group very well. Anyway I want to go into more detail some other time, maybe when I replay the two games, but for now I’ll give you a general overview).

Ok so all and all I think P3 and P4 are fine the way they are. They did a good job with them. P3 for being Hashino’s first hoorah into the series (also didn’t have enough time or money to include everything and had to cut stuff, LIKE THE FEMC! ;W;), and P4 for.....having such....a small.....budget....and....not a lot of time....and.....the company was struggling.....Like dang man I’m surprised we got P4. So like, compared to P5, I’m a lot easier on these two cause in one case Hashino was trying to find his style, and the other he was struggling with working with almost nothing (P5, however, didn’t have any of these issues).

Ok so like.....My biggest issue with P3 is mostly it’s characters and character relationships. P4.....I wish we could’ve hung out with Naoto earlier (even before she joined the team, that would’ve been interesting if the MC and her met up and attempted to draw more info out of each other about the case), and I wouldn’t have minded if they added more to the murder plot.

P3....ngl the first act until Aigis show’s up is.....so....slow.....and boring....and no one is really likeable imo. I hated Yukari, I hated Junpei. Mitsuru seemed interesting but she wouldn’t hang out. Akihiko....didn’t really care for him, but I couldn’t hang out with him. I couldn’t hang out with Yukari or Junpei if I wanted to (Yukari won’t hang out till around Aigis joins anyway, I remember from my last playthrough we tried, it was an NG+ and she snubbed us). Kenji is a moron (don’t hate him, feel bad for him, but god so boring), Kaz is a moron, didn’t do Yuko the first time (should’ve I did like her, hate I only got the first rank the first time I ever played through P3), I didn’t like Chihiro (she started off fine but was kinda creepy later on), can’t hang with Fuuka unless you have maxed courage cause eff me (not like I can ever remember her gd link anyways that’s how forgettable it is, I don’t even like Yukari but at least I remember her’s). Basically......the SL sucked balls. Major balls (I liked Maiko, the Star dude, the old couple, the Hermit, and the Devil......I guess the Tower too he was ok, and....that’s it....for outside teammate links aka Aigis and Mitsuru). Silly was not a happy camper when she popped P3 in after having fun with P4 (and esp after being told P3 was a GAZZILLION TIMES BETTER!!!!1!), tbh I took like a 4 month break from P3 and replayed P4 before I picked P3 back up (after Aigis showed up I def enjoyed it a heck of a lot more after that). Now, P3′s plot is really good and very solid, it’s P3′s strong point. My issue is that.....everything P3 does is for the sake of the plot. It does it well, don’t get me wrong, but everything about the characters is only happening cause “plot demands it.” They never felt super fleshed out, and it’s probably why they feel a little odd (maybe even flat-ish) in the spinoff games (even more so than the P4 team), cause the spinoff games aren’t relying on their (P3′s) plot. I also don’t buy a lot of their friendships (esp the males teammates with the Male MC), Yukari and Mitsuru’s is....ok (I don’t like how the game makes it feel like “oh you have a dead dad? me too! let’s be friends” as a thing, I know she’s just trying to relate and sympathize but.....I’ve seen that as a complaint come up by a lot of people, for someone so popular Yukari isn’t much of a people person in this regard, from how the game frames it that is). Also the fact you can’t friend girls. There’s not a lot of bonding moments in the game, there’s more than P5, but I still don’t feel as close to the team as I should even by the end. And gawd, Ryoji? Wut I’m friends with him now? How? When? I like the guy but I don’t think he likes me. You’d think he’d want to hang out with me cause.....PHAROS! ;W;

There’s more but I don’t want to leave you hanging, but anyway it’s just....I have a lot of issues with how the characters are handled. They’re good characters, I wish there just....more to them. But the thing is.....THIS IS AN EASY FIX! You’ve probably heard me say about the P5 manga/anime “a change in medium can do wonders” or something like that. That’s cause I have P3 to look at. The manga and movies do wonders for P3 my problems with P3. There’s more bonding, character relationships are improved yadda yadda. Yes there are issues within the manga and movies themselves...... but they do a lot of good things too. One of the things the movies did was actually......influenced by it’s P3P remake (aka establish a relationship with Ryoji, yay!). Oh man, P3P/the FeMC fixed sooooooooooooo many problems (it also added some even more awesome duality to a game that already had a lot of duality going on with it), I can talk to Yukari and Junpei from the get go (and they treat me different, and more pleasantly than when I played as the dude), I can actually hang out with the guys (and I DON’T automatically have to date them, in fact I have to work to date them, every single one), the stats for character requirements are laid out more fairly like in P4 so by the time someone is available I can probably talk to them (without having to kill myself trying to manage my social stats).But man, the first act just flows so much better when you’re able to bond with your teammates (also Rio and Saori are great SLs!). Even tho they don’t change the female SLs pretty much at all (making it veeeery gay XD), it does feel like it is at least a friendship by the end (even tho I’m literally dating everyone and you can’t tell me otherwise! 8U). I also love her personality comes across more clearing (and varied) than the males, there’s a more clear progression of her psyche than her male counterpart (it’s still there, just not as obvious, and I love how they’re inverted to each other~! :D). It’s just, with P3, the really minor changes go a LOOOOOOOOOOONG way. The only thing I would change with P3 is the minor stuff. Just add more scenes (that don’t take up time) to the game, on both sides. Gameplay wise add more SLs, alternative SLs even. Heck, if they remade the game, I think being able to go to new places would be cool (and it’d be where you’d meet your new SLs) cause man you’re in a city, you deserve to do more stuff! It’s just the little things man, the little things can make a big impact! It says something that probably my fav Persona fanfic and fav Strain42 Persona parody comicis the P3(P) ones, even tho P4 is my fav game. You change a few things around, even the medium, and it makes a difference.

Ok onto P4. Now P4 is the opposite of P3, with P4 it’s strong point is it’s characters. The characters drive P4. P4 is character based, P3 is plot based. P4 the plot takes a back seat. This is fine, it works in P4′s favor, like how the plot worked in P3′s favor. P4′s plot is ok, it does a great job with supporting the characters. Sadly I understand if you wanted more murder mystery (or just mystery) in a murder mystery game. And in P4′s defense, again, it had a barebones budget and not a lot of time and the company was doing pretty bad and P4 still came out pretty great (was the most popular before P5 came out, lord knows if it may even come out on top again if it gets an updated graphics/gameplay remake). And it’s also really hard to keep a murder mystery going for about 70-100ish hours (and only finally solving it in the last 1/5 of the game). Also P4, like P3 (forgot to mention that above), sticks to it’s theme really well. Even making it solving it/obtaining the good ending routes semi-difficult. Sure you can deduce Adachi, but tbh it’s also difficult. They do a pretty decent job building the guy up as a friend (even more so in P4G due to the SL). Izanami is also well hidden. The game makes you work and it rewards you.

Now if I were to change stuff.....it’d range from minor to major depending on what we’re talking about. Minor would be adding more scenes of Naoto bonding (she needs it cause the late game doesn’t do her justice), and like I mentioned above, I think have a deduction off would be interesting (Naoto’s SL was one of my favs cause of how we solved a gd mystery, god I’m so mad that never made it into the anime, even as an ova, it could’ve been a great team-building filler one too). Another thing I’d add would maybe be.....something similar to quests, but instead you have to solve a mystery (which means talking to people, and investigating areas), it can range from finding a cat in a tree or finding a bully or whatever. Just something minor that can give the mystery lovers something fun to do. I’d also have Izanami/gas station attendant be an SL (she originally was the Empress before giving that to Margret). Oh I’d also like to take Margret out on “dates” (c’mon gimme dem fun shenanigans). And.....now this can be minor or major (depending on what they do, but it’s probably more major), add another red herring. I don’t care how.....but....it would help draw attention away from Adachi. Maybe they’re added from some of the mini mysteries you solved, maybe they squeeze an extra dungeon into the game some how-some way (doubt it for the later, that’d be a major change), but another red herring would be good.

For a Major change it’d be restructuring the plot a looooooot, adding more dungeons for more red herrings. I would actually make Dojima a red herring. He originally was suppose to be the killer (but they thought that was too dark, understandable), with Adachi as the red herring instead. Other than that I’m not exactly sure how they’d overhaul that. I mean, if they made a P4 game based off of P3P’s route (aka different route/game, different killer), I’d like to see their prototype stuff play out. Short-haired ice queen Yukiko, delinquent/bully Rise, Pretty boy Naoto (actual boy this time, also make him dateable.....what? I like Naoto 8U), 1st year MC, Female Teddie, Adult(?) Kanji, Dojima as the killer, Adachi as the red herring (Chie and Yosuke are actually pretty much the same). I’d really like to see that.

But tbh, I don’t really know where to start in giving P4 a major overhaul (except to go with the prototype set up), possibly cause it’d mean introducing/creating new characters. But P5? I do, oh man I know where I would start (P5 is where I’d make my major changes left and right, no minor changes here...except maybe dungeon 1), I’d make soooooo many changes to P5. But that’s for another time (not now, it’d take too long). 8U

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