#- to my parents who just expect me to finish out while also constantly saying how insanely smart i must be to be in college | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lbulldesigns · 1 month

Text

AITAH FOR GHOSTING MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS FOR THREE YEARS, FOR MY OWN MENTAL HEALTH?

Posted 7th of January, 2024

Disclaimer: mentions of self-harm, violence, and attempted suicide.

Please bear with me. This post will be long.

I (20f) have been estranged from my family for the past three years.

I want to start off by saying that my family aren't bad people. They were never abusive, and they did care for me, but they could never understand me or the full extent of my issues.

Some background. When I was around five, my sister (26f), we'll call her V, and I witnessed our parents' death at the hands of some trigger-happy Enforcers. We don't know why they decided our parents deserved to die, but they did, and we were left orphaned when the authorities couldn't find any other family to take us in.

We bounced around in the system for a while, fearing being torn from each other at any moment, before a family friend was able to foster and then officially adopt us. Our AD (adoptive dad) was a godsend, he was and still (to my knowledge) is the most patient and gentle man I know. Despite looking like a wolf LOL.

Along with gaining a new father we also gained two brothers (twin 23m) the older twin (C) takes after our dad, Kind and patient. The younger twin (M) however is a little nasty bitch, who took upon himself to make my life in particular an ongoing hell. He was never physically abusive, but he was verbally abusive. It felt like not a day would go by when he wasn't putting me down and treating my existence like it was something insignificant. He never had a problem with V, just me.

For the first six years everyone else would defend me, put him in his place, and overall hold him accountable but at some point, they stopped holding him accountable and just expected me to grow a thicker skin. I still remember the day when I went crying to my sister and rather than comfort me, just rolled her eyes and asked if I could maybe not take him seriously because she needed to finish her group project. To her credit, she apologised for that but it was hard to rely on her after that.

Long story short, M made my home life unbearable, and I had bullies at school that made it unbearable. Especially once I was in high school and my best (and only) friend started making friends of his own. I want to say that I was cool with this, but in reality, I turned into an absolute brat and refused to get along with any of them. I wish I didn't, but I just couldn't help but feel betrayed and genuinely acted on those emotions.

And this is how I was with everyone. Constantly betrayed and acting out. It was no wonder everyone I knew got sick of me.

My Dad was constantly worrying about me.

My older brother avoided me as much as possible, to avoid my outbursts.

My sister was just constantly swinging between feeling guilty, angry, and just done with my constant outbursts. Especially when these outbursts were directed at her girlfriend, who constantly talked about how she wanted to be an Enforcer to protect others (take a wild guess why I couldn't like her). V even slapped me for something I said (I can't remember what) to her GF that made her cry.

And my best friend... hates me.

It's my own fault, obviously.

What led to the title of my post is this.

I told my (former) best friend that I loved him and wanted to be with him, and he just raged at me. Apparently, he was seeing someone and thought that I was pulling something in order to break them up. He didn't believe me when I said that I didn't know he was in a relationship (I genuinely didn't know) but he wouldn't hear it and called me an AH and said he was done with me.

I felt humiliated and heartbroken, when I got home that day I was crying and M was the first person, unfortunately, who I came across. And the first thing he does is scoff and roll his eyes, and said "fucking crybaby".

I don't fully remember what happened, I blacked out, but I remember my dad pulling me off of M and his face was a bloody mess. I'm pretty sure that I broke his nose and then some, my dad was so angry. The angriest I've ever seen him; he actually shook me by the shoulders and demanded what was wrong with me. And when I couldn't answer, they told me to get out. Which I did.

I just bolted from the house, the sound of shouting behind me, and just kept running until I got to the Bridge of Progress.

I was just so empty and lost, and the water below looked so tempting. I was about to end it all when my guardian angel showed up.

Ez (21m) was walking by when he saw me about to jump and, without hesitation, climbed up next to me and asked what we were doing.

He saved me that day, without even trying. He listened to my whining and rather than offer me empty promises of "it'll be okay" instead said "girl you messed up. Wanna go on an adventure with me?"

We've been friends ever since.

I took him on his offer and went home to collect some things, when I got there the lights were off so I climbed up to my bedroom window and let myself in. I grabbed my clothes, some saved up cash, my laptop, and my documents (in case I needed them) and left a note for my family saying "bye".

And that was three years ago. I haven't been in contact with them, I don't follow them on social media, and I left my mobile behind so they were never able to get hold of me.

I completely and utterly. Ghosted them. And I don't entirely regret it.

In the last three years I have gained close friends, experienced new things, seen interesting things, and have felt well enough to actually want to seek therapy. My mental health improved greatly, although I still have issues but still am lot better than I was before.

However, I can't help but feel like an AH. My family weren't bad, just fed up. They are genuinely good people (even M) it's just that I bring the worst out in people. But recently I've been wondering if I should reach out or not.

What if doing so disrupts their lives? What if my leaving improved their lives?

I don't know.

AITAH if I reach out to my family after ghosting them for three years?

(This is a fanfic. Please read tags)

53 notes · View notes

muzaktomyears · 7 months

Text

Mimi's views on Cynthia:

(...) [Mimi] told me how strict John was with Julian, especially at meals. If he didn’t behave, or refused to eat something on his plate, John would have none of it and would pick him up and put him to bed in the back bedroom. Just for the record, Mimi thought it all a bit harsh but John refused to put up with bad manners. She, of course, blamed any bad manners that Julian had on Cyn, since she was with the boy 99% of the time. Mimi said his eating habits were atrocious, all sodas and candy. Not surprising, also Cyn’s fault.

---

Mimi had never really been fond of Cynthia. She felt she had chased John throughout the years, and had purposely gotten herself pregnant in order to “trick him” into marrying her. But more than Cynthia, she disliked Cynthia’s mother. Mrs. Powell was “pushy” and had to be involved in everything, according to Mimi. Even the last time we discussed the subject, she insisted that the marriage might have lasted if John and Cyn could have lived alone without her mother constantly being there. John eventually had enough and purchased a small cottage for her not far from Kenwood but Mrs. Powell insisted on spending her time at the house where she could better enjoy John’s money.

---

She told of the Art School days and the many times Cynthia would walk by the house in Woolton, hoping to see John while he would be upstairs hiding. She insisted Cyn had chased after him and had even asked Mimi for permission to marry him, when John was just 20 and would need a parent or guardian to sign for him. Mimi refused. When John did finally admit to her that Cynthia was pregnant and they would be marrying, Mimi gave it to him with both barrels. How could Cynthia know she was pregnant to soon? She would hardly be a month along. Where did they expect to live? How did he think he could support a family? On and on it went until John stormed out.

Mimi had no intention of attending the wedding and neither did anyone else in the family. The night before the wedding, John came to her in tears. He didn’t want to get married. He was too young. He had to find a way out. But even then she had no sympathy for him. He’d laid in his bed and now he had to make it.

---

(...) She did actually feel sorry for Cynthia living in the big house, more or less alone, she said. And when John wasn’t touring, he’d be working in the studio and come home exhausted. Cyn, on the other hand, wanted to go out and Mimi said she would often come downstairs dressed to the nines, looking quite lovely, and hoping for an evening on the town but John would be too tired.

Mimi warned him that he had to be more attentive to his wife.

---

[1975:]

She’d received a letter from a fan who had been visiting Cyn. “Well, she [the fan] indicated that Cyn didn’t want her address known. [She] knew but couldn’t tell me as, more or less, it was private. It irritated me. There’s no need for anyone connected with the Beatles to hide; one never hears of them, only an occasional mention. So she is quite safe. What an irritating letter to write. She could see Cyn had had her share of worry, etc. And [she] feels so bad that I don’t see Julian and no wonder Cyn wants seclusion in this world. Really such rubbish! It’s entirely Cyn’s own fault. Seclusion! Bah!”

---

[a letter dated 19th June, 1981:]

“7p.m. last night the phone went, I was half expecting an American voice, but no – It was definitely a L’pool voice. Slightly, but L’pool anyway. I knew it was not my family, we all have the similar voice. I kept saying who? Who? Who are you? Then I nearly dropped dead (kidding). The voice said ‘It’s Cyn’. I could hardly believe it. She started to tell me about Twist, marriage finished, he’d had 3 affairs, one after another. Apart from that I don’t know what the call was for. So taken aback that ME, Mimi, didn’t say anything. She would come down, see me, etc. etc. and – I’m not much wiser. Since then I’ve been so puzzled, wondering why she phoned me. I didn’t even get her phone no., or address, and no idea how to get it unless I try enquiries. She may not be under Twist… I wouldn’t put it past her to use Lennon. Think I’ll try. I want to ask her why she phoned, any reason especially. Can there be any motive? She’s determined to keep in the news one way or another. It’s puzzling, but I would not be any use to her.

“I know Cyn says she wants to hide away. God knows why. All the time she gets in touch with the press…I know she does not like [fans] and until I picked all the fan letters out of the dustbin and answered them, every fan letter was destroyed. So I answered which infuriated her, but I didn’t care. The girls got an answer. John knew nothing about it.”

(...)“Just talking to Anne [Mimi's sister]. She said ‘don’t bother finding where Cyn is. There’s some motive why she phoned after all these years. She could have phoned in Dec. And why these undying declarations of great love for John.’ If that was so, why chase the Italian, who by the way is totally ignored. She’s had 2 husbands since John. Anne feels there is money in it. Some funny business going on. I’m not interested in any money. It’s bad enough he’s gone.

“It’s not a good example to Julian to encourage him to go into pubs. He does not impress me at all. Seems lazy and aimless trying to cash in on his father’s image. John said he had no brain. Sounds as though he was right. Cyn should direct him to doing something instead of hanging around doing absolutely nothing. She trying to be the same age in outlook. It can’t be done. She’s to blame for him being aimless, but there’s no time for children when you’re looking for new husbands, and looking for a good time.”

---

We got into one of our first disagreements that night [during her 1981 visit to Mimi's house]. Talking about John and his divorce from Cynthia, she mentioned that Cyn hadn’t deserved the money he’d been forced to give her as a settlement. I believe the figure we were discussing was £150,000 and she thought that was far too much. I tried to explain that considering she’d been there from the beginning and through the lion’s share of Beatlemania, she deserved a far greater portion of his income than that. Nope. Cyn had cheated on John first, Mimi reasoned, so it wasn’t as if she’d won the pools. That was a familiar argument and I realized she was using John’s argument, almost word for word.

That’s the night she told me how John had come down to see her, and “sitting right in that chair” had told her that he had found out that Cynthia had been cheating on him with “the Italian” and he had literally cried when he said he was getting a divorce. To this day, I have no idea who cheated on whom first, but I eventually held my tongue and the £150,000 settlement dispute was eventually forgotten; at least for the time being.

---

Marie had been to Beatlefest in New York. She had phoned me while there to inform me that Cynthia was there selling copies of her art from her first book. I think this might have been the first of several trips to Beatlefest for Cyn. (…)

The only thing I remember is she called to tell me that she told Cyn that she knew the former president of the Cyn Lennon Beatle Club and did Cyn think she might ever go to Minnesota?

As I recall it, Cyn replied “Why would I ever go to Minnesota?” Well, why, indeed. Unless, of course, she wanted to continue to sell copies of old lithographs at $30 a pop.

Needless to say, Mimi didn’t take the news well at all.

“[Marie] nearly fell over herself telling me about Cyn selling at a Beatlefest or whatever you call those things. I couldn’t believe it! Whatever is she thinking?!!... It’s incredible, undignified, and degrading, to me anyway but then I’m not trying to cash in or seeking publicity. If I had been a cast off wife or mistress I think I would have kept quiet and out of sight especially with two husbands still hanging around somewhere. I’d laugh my head off if they decided to cash in as well. Heaven knows there’s no knowing what people will do for money. And they have a story as well….. Kathy, I’m half sorry for Cyn. I wonder how and what prompted her to leave herself open to criticism and remarks by people. I phoned my sister and Liela… they say she’s desperate for notice, and what’s more likely looking for another—er—husband over there. That’s the most likely place .What do you bet? Altho I hope she won’t be so silly. I don’t think she can help it. We’ll see. She could not have sold all those drawings at the exhibition, or perhaps she did more for the Beatlefest…I never saw anything arty she ever did, so have no idea…”

[A letter dated 26th October, 81:]

“I was sorry to hear Cyn was renting a table to sell things. How could she do such a thing! Joining that jamboree. It’s bound to cause some unfavourable comments. As to why, apart from the obvious. Here’s the latest rolling in millions and the first, 14 years almost after the divorce, and two further husbands (still about somewhere) renting a table to sell things – I really am sorry she did it. She was a very wealthy woman. I hope she’s still got some of it left. It makes one think she’s cashing in on the Lennon name for money. Perhaps I’m too old fashioned. Your note may have cheered her up for I can’t think she was very happy standing there, money or no money. It makes me cringe… Whatever Cyn may say I think she’s lonely and realises she was a fool… to be photographed with May Pang and I hear staying with her (if it’s true) well, it’s rock bottom. I hope she made some money to compensate her for what I think was an undignified escapade. Of course it’s only my opinion. I may be entirely wrong altogether. Better if I am wrong.”

The Guitar’s All Right as a Hobby, John, Kathy Burns (2014)

#mimi smith #cynthia lennon #a lot here #some very mimi-ish opinions #interesting because the author of the book founded the cynthia lennon fanclub and that's how she got to first meet mimi!

42 notes · View notes

lucienarcheron · 4 months

Text

HOFAS Thoughts and Review!

This is also my review on Goodreads. Naturally, this is full of spoilers so proceed with caution!

4 star read!

This was a wild ride from start to finish. I found that you jumped right into the action and it literally didn't stop. The crossover with ACOTAR was very info-dump but I didn't mind since a) I don't remember anything lol and b) we needed to make the connection. I really loved seeing Nesta and Azriel in this different element. Given the timeline between ACOSF and HOFAS being about 3 months, I loved that Azriel and Nesta now know how to fight together and Nesta is so in touch with her powers. I love seeing how their friendship has bloomed.

Bryce is a menace and will forever be one. She's one of Sarah's MCs I relate to the least and therefore needed to warm up to her more. I found that in this book, I could despite a lot of her arrogant moments that will rub people the wrong way. I love Quinlar's love but didn't appreciate that she minimized Hunt's reaction to basically reliving much of his trauma with the first war. I'm glad she apologized and got to the point of understanding him but it left a little meh of a taste. The ending scene where he goes after her had my heart in pieces!! Through love, all is indeed possible and I love they were always with each other through it all.

Bryce basically being the High Lady of Dusk and controlling the land was amazing! I loved seeing those scenes. Saitha being the one to kneel first, declaring her as queen? Loved that. The two fae kings dying an awful death? Fabulously done! Hunt mf Althar removing his own slave halo and then removing Isaiah's while calling out that governor lady on her shit??? ADORE! Jesiba's everything in this book? I salute you, queen! Sabine's death??? The Under-King's death??? Literally had me gasping so much.

Ruhn my love, you will always be the Crown Prince of the Fae and that soundbite will always be on repeat every time I see your name lol.

Ruhn x Lidia's romance fell very flat to me. I love Ruhn and hated everything he had to go through but Lidia's character felt out of left field for me. I expected better/different? We find out out of NOWHERE that she's a mom of twins and suddenly, that's her whole personality. She went from this badass agent to everything being about her kids. There is NOTHING WRONG with her being a mother but why couldn't she be a mother AND care about the cause because it's the right thing to do? This was a missed opportunity in my opinion. I also felt like this was very self-insert of Sarah being a mom to have to include another character having kids. The constant talk about all these traumatized idiots having babies is getting on my last fucken nerves tbh. They have a million years to live so can we, I don't know, let them LIVE for five seconds without the absolute need to "start a family"? Let them go to therapy damn it. Sarah constantly writes about how awful it is that fae are obsessed with breeding and whatnot, yet every single of one her characters talks about babies...pls sarah, I beg. Give me ONE otp that doesn't have children. I know she's a HEA author which is what I love about her and her romances but it doesn't always have to end with kids and I just wish we'd see that more. Ruhn and Lidia did not strike me as characters who would be parents at all but now, Ruhn is a stepdad to the Hind's secret twins? It's very weird to me but I hope maybe down the line, we get to see Lidia realize that she is a whole person outside of being a mom. Aside from all that, the rescue scene was amazing. I loved seeing her destroy that asshole she had to endure and I just want to say, Aelin would be cheering mad hard at her for it! It felt like Lidia's fire abilities, the stag relation, and her son's name were all a nod to TOG and I loved that.

As for all the other characters, I really enjoyed seeing Ithan come into his own even though my guy was making mad stupid decisions along the way. His moment with Connor will always have my heart! l also loved the little bits of Ithan and Perry so much! Tharion my love, you will always be famous for making the most desperately dumb decisions before passing that one brain cell you have to Ithan but you know what? Sathia is going to be great for him and I ship it with my whole chest. Ari was wasted in this book and her ungrateful attitude annoyed me. Sigrid's whole plotline was pointless. Declan and Flynn are the best buds and I love them so much. Baxian, you are a gem! Pax being the one responsible for the actual HOFAS while being a healer who is making those antidotes was a great twist and I love it for her. The little fire spirits were so cute and their little moment with the viper queen made me cackle. The Viper Queen can suck it but I am also so very curious about what will happen now considering how that scene ends with Tharion/Ari/Sathia/Colin. I have a feeling all these characters will be showing up again in the future and I'd be excited to read how that will go. I have a feeling it might be done ACOSF style - in that, it'll be standalone in the CC world.

Bonus Chapters:

Bryce, Azriel, Nesta - hilarious and also so cute how Nesta was fascinated by the music playing from Bryce's phone. Azriel doesn't have a mate or partner so let that be clear LOL. Also Nesta already thinking about babies makes me wanna die tbh.

RuhnLidia - It was cute that she proposed and Ruhn is such a little dork crying left and right hahaha.

Quinlar - Hilarious how the big strong thunder boy was scared of those little dolls HAHA.

Ember/Randall - This made me want the Archeron sisters to have a mother figure so badly! The moment with Nesta and Ember hugging was so sweet in the book. I know people are mad at Rhys for yelling at Nesta but y'all...the whole world was at stake and that was a scary decision to make on Nesta's part given how the Pyrthian is STILL traumatized by the Asterie. I don't love how much he yelled but I get it.

Despite having parts I didn't like, I did overall really have fun with this. I think Sarah always does a great job with the action scenes in the end and giving us that found family connection. I could do without having the whole girl boss/girl power white feminist nonsense constantly shoved in our faces but alas! As I said, I still really enjoyed it! It had a lot of moments that pulled on all my emotions as every SJM book does. I will always enjoy what she puts out because I take it all at face value and read it to have fun. Sarah always knows how to enjoy her writing and you can tell while reading and for me, that's more than enough. The lore/plot is secondary to the characters for me and that is always how she sucks me in. She writes compelling characters who have amazing adventures and friendships that you feel through the pages and I will always enjoy that. Can't wait for more books! Here's to hoping we hear something about ACOTAR soon especially now that Bryce gave both swords back to Nesta! Can't wait to see how it plays out!

#hofas #hofas spoilers #house of flame and shadow #house of flame and shadow spoilers #gigi reads

21 notes · View notes

hyperactivewhore · 6 months

Note

Hello, so a couple of things I wanted to address regarding your takes on Hope and the Mikaelson family. So, I don't take anything from TO or Legacies as face value. I didn't even watch Legacies, because I was over TVD universe by that point. And I didn't even finish TVD or TO, because of how unbearingly bad they got. But I know enough about how the rest of the show turned out to give my take on things too.

For a show that was supposed to be centered around redeeming Klaus and Hope being the source of redemption for the Mikaelson family, the writers failed miserably in that aspect. For one, they rewrote history, retconned their entire backstory, and made the characters incredibly out of character. Worst thing the writers could've done. There was no redemption or character development whatsoever for anyone. In fact, everyone got worse and became more unlikable as the seasons went on.

You're saying Rebekah and Freya would've been terrible mothers and claiming that they were bitter, jealous, and resentful of Hope or even of their own kids, when we never saw anything that supports that notion. And it's unfair you single out the women in the Mikaelson family, but say nothing whatsoever about the Mikaelson men, who were just as unfit and unstable to be a parent or have any child under their care. How do you justify saying Rebekah and Freya would've been bad mothers, but justify Klaus and Hayley's shitty parenting?

If we're gonna call a spade a spade, Hayley was the very definition of a terrible mother. She constantly endangered herself and Hope while she was pregnant and even after she gave birth and just pawned her kid off to Eve or whoever else to involve herself in dangerous situations she really had no business getting involved in, when she could've been there with Hope. Same with Klaus, he most definitely wasn't father of the year. And there's also all the times they neglected Hope as a baby countless times and would often leave her alone during the most dangerous situations too.

If Rebekah and Freya didn't deserve to be mothers or to have a chance at a normal human life, Hayley and Klaus deserved it even less. Overall, I don't get why you or anyone else are so surprised at the Mikaelsons turning out to be deadbeats and abandoning Hope, when their entire family history and dysfunctional family dynamic speaks for itself. You even pointed it out yourself, that the Mikaelson family are unstable. So, why so surprised at this outcome? What else did you expect? And that's the epitome of why having a spinoff about the Mikaelsons centered around a baby of all things failed miserably. It was the worst mistake the writers could've made and the worst route the writers could've gone.

I'll make sure to let this clear for anyone who decides to read through: I didn't finish The Vampire Diaries, I only got to watch season five before the plot bored me and I just watched season one and half of season two of Legacies, but I have read enough over the years and I know all that happens in the three shows, what characters appear and etc.

Is funny how you complain about the Mikaelson and company being "out of character" as if they hadn't been already ooc in season three. Klaus loved witches and the writers completely erased that from his character because recognizing it would mean having him go for Bonnie. Caroline was mean before turning into a vampire, and if they had followed the established lore and canon of vampirism, she would have been just worse than she was as a human instead of the preppy girl she turned into. They completely trashed Elena's character to have her fall for Damon and forget about Stefan, so the fact that you're complaining about this sounds like just an excuse to shit on both shows.

I don't know why you're so pressed about Hope's existence. I have never said she was her family's redemption, I have always said she wasn't and that it was completely unfair of Elijah to put that burden on a baby. She was a plothole and I have stated that her character shouldn't have been made no matter how loved she is. But saying she had no impact on her family is stupid: Hope didn't made them stop being monsters, that's true, but she played a big part on making them change themselves.

Her existence forced her father to stop seeing only for himself, she united Klaus and Rebekah after they literally tried to kill each other by making Bex look after her when she was only a baby, Elijah finally stopped taking his brother's side in everything and she made their toxic codependent relationships slightly better. But at the end of the day, Hope was just a kid and a kid would never erase a thousand years of trauma, abuse and toxicity. It's true, she wasn't her family's redemption but she's the only reason why they stopped being shitty to each other.

There is evidence of why Rebekah would be a bad mother, just see how she behaves around children/teenagers. Marcel was ten and she groomed him, the moment her niece grew up and she couldn't play house with her any longer she left her in the dust, all while remembering how she spent "glorious months covered in dirt" because she spent less than a year with her as a baby and that is what she wanted, a baby, not a child, and just look at how she acted with Elena and Caroline. Rebekah was jealous of both of them, she was jealous of Hayley and Freya herself even made a joke about how she would be jealous of their own niece - it was about how she would stay nineteen forever hence beauty forever, but my point remains.

Rebekah would be a bad mother as far as we know in canon because everything suggests that. She's a child herself, just seventeen and her brain isn't even fully developed yet: she's easily jealous, tends to have emotional issues and has a low self esteem. What would be weird is that she wouldn't be jealous and a bad mother to her child, not otherwise. I love her, but she is a bad person and doesn't deserve to be a mom.

Freya is literally the same. She was traumatized with the child she lost and she viewed him/her on Hope, but she never gave a damn about making sure her seven years old niece didn't grow up traumatized and she completely forgot about her the moment Nik was born so yes, this information is enough for me to think she would be a bad mother. And look at what she did to Davina, who was barely eighteen.

The Mikaelson didn't and still don't deserve a normal happy life simply because they aren't good persons. They would be shitty parents, the two canon parents we have (Klaus and Freya) are bad parents and they don't even know how to behave around teenagers.

Saying Hayley is a bad mother is wild. Did you want her to stay home with Jackson while her daughter's family was being attacked every time they breathed? Hayley never put herself in a dangerous situation while pregnant willingly, it was always people coming after her and their child because she was carrying a Mikaelson kid. I don't know how she "pawned" her kid to somebody else to go help the Mikaelson, she was fighting with them because once again, they were Hope's family. She made some shitty choices, yes, but she was stuck in the most dangerous family to ever exist and the only way out was death: she never had the chance to decide if she actually wanted to have Hope. Both Elijah and Klaus forced it on her, they never asked her if she wanted an abortion and it was quite clear she would have died if she tried getting one.

I guess you pulled all of this information from your ass, because I never justified Klaus’s shitty parenting; I've always said time and time again he was a bad father, and I never said I was surprised at the Mikaelson being deadbeats when they already were in The Originals.

I don't know why you say the show "failed miserably" when it didn't: the rankings are good, it was nominated for awards a plenty of times and it is the favorite show of more than half of the fandom.

#honestly 💀#klaus mikaelson #rebekah mikaelson #freya mikaelson #hope mikaelson #elijah mikaelson #hayley marshall #marcel gerard #camille o'connell #caroline forbes #elena gilbert #the originals #the vampire diaries #tvd #to

23 notes · View notes

schrijverr · 2 years

Text

The Eddie

Steve’s a teacher and constantly talking about his sweet and caring partner, Eddie. When they finally meet him, they are confronted with the fact that sweet Eddie is a metal band leader, who is very intimidating.

This is very much based off this post by @harringtonisms

On AO3.

Ships: Steve x Eddie

Warnings: none really.

~~~~~~~~~~

Mr. Harrington, or Steve as he begs his students to call him, is an oddity at the local public high school. He is still young, muscled but slender, with most girls fawning over him and his hair. He dresses sporty (expected of a PE teacher) but also soft for his hours as guidance counselor. Most importantly he is openly queer, which is very rare in 90s Indiana.

And Steve probably wouldn’t have gotten far in his career if he didn’t have the biggest ‘I don’t give a fuck’-attitude out there. Whenever parents complain or student comment, he’ll just raise his brow, like their opinion is so far out of the ballpark of his worries that caring about it seems plainly ridiculous.

So, he still works as a teacher and guidance counselor, and despite the setbacks he is massively popular under the students.

His PE classes aren’t like most. He has a rigorous stretching and warming up routine as well as a cooling down period, which everyone is required to follow to a t, though he doesn’t care much about how well they participate with the actual lesson. And he always talks while they go through the routine, either about self care or something he saw or anything random.

Those talks are the reason everyone is aware Steve is not straight, because he always – always – mentions his partner Eddie at least once. It’s like he won’t survive if he doesn’t mention the man every hour.

Jessie absolutely adores Steve. She is currently a Senior and has had Steve for PE throughout her entire school career, a fact she can’t be more glad about. She hates PE and Steve has never cared that she always sat on the bench as long as she participated with stretching, warming up and cooling down. And as a closeted lesbian, Steve is quite a comfort about her own future.

She loves hearing Steve talk about whatever Eddie did that day, because from what she has heard he is the sweetest guy out there. The way Steve talks about him is almost enough for her to go straight at this point.

Today is such a day. They’re stretching, following Steve’s lead as he says: “It is good to stretch. You are all too young to know, but there will come a moment in your life when sleeping wrong will affect you for a whole day. I fell asleep with Eddie on the couch last night. Don’t recommend that at all.”

He changes pose and everyone follows: “Luckily Eddie woke up in the middle of the night and carried me to bed. I guess hauling around his stuff has been good for his muscles. And I have been roping him into regular exercise, because it’s good for you. That’s why I think PE is so important, regular movement is important for everyone. It doesn’t have to be intense, you just have to keep moving every now and then. So, up, up, people, some laps, please.”

There is groaning, but everyone gets ready for laps. They all know there is no set limit or speed, you just need to keep moving for the seven minutes Steve sets. That’s all.

And the next class it is: “A pet is a good way to keep exercising when you’re a professional, since they need love and attention. What I won’t recommend is adopting three kittens.”

“Why did you adopt three then?” Johnny, one of the jocks, asks.

Steve rolls his eyes and says: “Because Eddie didn’t want to separate any of them from their siblings,” in a tone that is too fond for the annoyance he’s trying to convey.

“That’s kinda sweet,” Amanda comments and Jessie can’t help but agree with the cheerleader.

“It is, but he isn’t the one that got woken up at 5:00 AM by multiple kittens on his face,” Steve rolls his eyes, finishing the cooling down. “Anyway, my point is, think of things you enjoy that bring movement into your life. It’s not really homework, more something to consider.”

After that they all file out of the gym to get changed in the musty changing room that has seen the sweat of too many teenagers.

And the talk of Eddie doesn’t stick to his classes. Jessie goes to counseling with him, appreciating how he takes her seriously, how he never presumes to know her better and his suggestions are actually helpful, like he has been through something himself.

But that doesn’t stop him from coming in with a rumpled sweater as he says: “Sorry, I look a mess. Eddie is away right now and he usually irons my clothes in the morning.”

“Eddie irons your clothes every morning?” Jessie asks, unable to help herself, craving to know more about her teacher’s domestic life, even though it’s a bit strange.

However, going off Steve’s soft look, he doesn’t mind one bit to talk about his partner. “Yeah, he’s really sweet. He has looser hours, but he gets up with me anyway. Always says that since he doesn’t have to get dressed that it’s the least he can do.”

“That’s really sweet,” Jessie smiles.

“It is,” Steve agrees, before shuffling through his notes, glasses perched on his face. “Now, you said last time you’ve been sleeping a little better, that still the case?” And with that they move back to Jessie and her problems.

Still, even without guidance counselor sessions the Senior class has a pretty good idea of who Eddie is. He is a sweetheart and a softy, but overall an average caring dude, who has managed to capture the heart of their PE teacher.

But when they actually meet the man, no one recognizes him.

They’re in PE class, doing the cooling down when Jessie notices a man at the doorway, who instantly makes her uncomfortable with the way they are all bend over. He is dressed in black ripped jeans, a dark gray shirt with red letters reading ‘The Devil Was an Angel Too’ and has a leather jacket on. His neck is full of chains and his hands adorned by rings, hints of tattoos peaking out everywhere.

Yet, he does nothing but stand there for a moment, leaning against the door frame. His long dark, curly hair hides his expression, so Jessie doesn’t know what he’s staring at exactly. Though he seems relaxed, one leg crossed over the other, heavy boot resting on its tip.

Obliviously Steve continues on, moving into another stretch as he continues: “This is very good for you back, important for you all since you’re carrying a heavy bag around. I try to get Eddie to do this every night, but he’s so stubborn.”

“You shouldn’t be spreading lies like that, sweetheart,” the man speaks up, immediately getting the attention of everyone.

A hushed whispers go to the group of students as everyone notices the man, who at least sounds much nicer than he looks like, despite the words. However, more notable is how Steve lights up at the sudden appearance as he loudly exclaims: “Eddie! What are you doing here?”

That gets even more attention as multiple people repeat the name in surprise. Everyone giving up the pretense of cooling down in favor of gawking at The Eddie.

The Eddie in question looses a bit of his confidence under the students, before puffing himself up and grinning, revealing a sweet face. “That’s my name, don’t wear it out,” before turning to Steve and asking: “Have you been talking about me, princess?”

Steve has finally made his way through the crowd and is hugging the man closely. His soft colorful work out clothes contrast heavily against the metal look of Eddie. He is beaming as he shrugs: “I can’t help that you’re my favorite topic.”

“You flatter me,” Eddie smiles and his face and voice speaks to how much he adores the man in his arms.

“Not that I don’t love to see you, but you were supposed to come home tonight. Did something happen on tour?” Steve asks, brow furrowing as he tucks a bit of hair behind Eddie’s ear.

“Nah, all good,” Eddie assures him. “We got home early, because I drove for a bit so our driver could rest.”

Steve snorts: “Probably not that restful with you behind the wheel.”

“Uhm, excuse you,” Eddie guffaws, faux offended. “I distinctly remember one very eventful drive in that stolen RV.”

“Special circumstances and we gave that back,” Steve protests as the class raises their eyebrows to each other at the information they’re learning about their nice teacher.

“Sure, sweetheart,” Eddie smirks, before procuring a bag. “I was planning on crashing, but saw you forgot your lunch, so, you know, two birds on stone. You need the food and I was starved off your face, pretty boy.”

Suddenly the caring softie they’ve come to know through the stories. Because no matter how intimidating Eddie looks, that all falls away in how he looks at Steve. Not to mention how he came here, despite the fact that he was tired, just to see Steve and make sure he’s okay.

Jessie is near tears at the thought of someone caring so much, before she starts to think closer. Her little brother had mentioned one of his bands to her, shown her pictures too. And this man before her seemed very familiar for some reason.

“Oh my god,” she’s suddenly loudly yelling, despite hating attention, “you’re Eddie Munson! You’re the lead singer of Corroded Coffin. My brother loves you.”

Everyone is looking at her, but she’s looking at Eddie, who first looks surprised then a big smile breaks out on his face. “Your brother has great taste,” Eddie tells her.

“Wait he’s famous?” Amanda asks.

Now Eddie looks bashful as he explains: “I won’t say famous-famous. We can get a crowd, but we’re not doing world tours exactly. It’s a metal band.”

“I’m glad you don’t,” Steve interjects. “I don’t think I could miss you for that long.”

“If I ever get that famous, you can quit your job and travel with me,” Eddie promises, kissing Steve’s temple. Before he teases: “You can finally embrace your trophy wife tendencies.”

Steve playfully slaps his chests and protests: “I don’t have trophy wife tendencies.”

“Tell that to the mayor after they cleared my name.” Eddie hip bumps him.

“He deserved that,” Steve replies, face darkening.

“Alright, lets not get into that now,” Eddie placates him. “You obviously have a class to teach and I’ve distracted you enough. I should go and let you get back to teaching.”

And Jessie swears she’s seen her little cousins pull similar faces to Steve’s as he pleads: “My break is right after. You can wait for a little, right?” Eddie looks on the fence, so Steve pulls out the big guns. “I haven’t seen you in a month, Eds. Please.”

“Alright, alright, sweetheart,” Eddie gives in. “I’ll wait in your office.”

“Great,” Steve smiles in that smug way that one smiles after winning an argument or getting their way. Then he turns to the class and says: “Come on, walking people. No running. This is to cool down, not to get you pumped up again.”

As they walk, Jessie suddenly has more friends than before as everyone comes to question her what she knows about Eddie. She doesn’t know much, often tuning her little brother out, but she knows more than most.

So, they spend the last minutes of class gossiping about how different Eddie is to what they though he’d be like. At first Jessie can talk along, until they start mention how hot he is. To save herself, she mumbles something about him having a nice voice, before quickly making her way to the changing rooms.

Once she’s done, she hesitates. If she tells her brother about this and she didn’t get Eddie’s autograph, he’ll kill her, but she also doesn’t want to interrupt the recent reunion of the two. In the end, she swings by at the end of her lunch period.

Tentatively she knocks on the door until she gets permission to enter. Then she opens the door, popping in her head. Eddie is sitting on the usual talking chair, though he’s sprawled over it, while Steve sits in his own chair, leaning heavily on the table to be closer to Eddie. When he sees her, he smiles: “Ah, Jessie, anything I can help you with?”

“Oh, uhm,” she stumbles. “This is a bit embarrassing, but my little brother will murder me, if I didn’t ask for your autograph, Mr. Munson.”

Eddie snorts. “Mr. Munson, did ya hear that, princess? They have some respect for me, unlike your rascals.”

“My rascals are also yours and I had nothing to do with their manners,” Steve protests.

“Yeah, yeah,” Eddie waves him away, before focusing back on Jessie and giving her a disarming and sweet smile. “And it’s no problem, I’m glad your brother likes our music so much. You have anything particular to sign?”

“Uhm, not really and thanks so much,” she tells him.

“Here,” Steve hands him a piece of paper alongside a pen.

Eddie raises a brow at him and asks: “Do you have always our merch just lying around in your office like that?” before signing and handing Jessie a card with the full band on it.

Steve shrugs: “Of course.”

“God, your perfect, I love you,” Eddie breathes as if he’s in awe of Steve. It makes Jessie feel a bit like she’s intruding on a special moment, but she can’t bring herself to look away either. Because Steve is blushing and having a soft smile in turn and they just look so goddamn happy.

Unable to stop herself, she says: “Thanks again. I hope you get to catch up properly, you’re an adorable couple.”

Both of them send her a knowing smile, before thanking her and sending her on her merry way. She doesn’t know what she feels exactly, but she feels mostly seen and happy. Maybe hopeful for the future.

With lighter spirit she walks through the hallways, she can’t wait for next PE class.

A/N:

I considered making Steve a History teacher, because it would make the story easier to get him talking and he does seem like someone who could become a History teacher, but actually cool PE teacher!Steve lives in my brain rent free XP

#rr writing #eddie lives au #steve harrington x eddie munson #steve x eddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things fic #stranger things #steddie #st #st post season 4 #OCs

334 notes · View notes

league-of-blorbos · 6 months

Text

Hi, I write fanfiction sometimes but my biggest issue is that I'm very slow at it and I always end up leaving my half finished drafts to rot and never get posted. But I started writing this Heartsteel Yone fic in like 2 sittings and I really wanna try and finish it since I like the direction it's going.

It's mainly about my transfem Yone headcanon and them struggling with both dysphoria and the music industry, and maybe lead it into some Aluyone content since I love that ship in this au. While what I have is just set up for how Yone first met the band, I would LOVE any feedback on stuff I could improve or just some motivation to help me finish this draft.

(One last note, I'm referring to Yone with he/him so far but the pronouns will change later in the story as Yone sorts their gender out more)

Yone had very strict parents growing up. He knew it ultimately came from a place of love, but sometimes it was like they kept raising their expectations for him as soon as he started to get close to meeting them. When most looked at the two brothers, they would never guess Yone was the only one their parents had to constantly pull back in line while they never seemed too concerned about what his brother, Yasuo, was doing. Maybe it was because Yone always did better in school as a kid and had more potential in their eyes, or their parents had just long given up on trying to keep their younger son in check when he was always on the move. Whatever the case was, it felt like Yone’s parents wanted a say in everything he did, from trying to push him towards a more “respectable” career than music, to not allowing him to to buy the more gaudy and revealing clothes that he admired. It took so much convincing to even grow his hair out long and dye it, his mother telling Yone how handsome he looked with short hair, or his dad warning him that others would think he’s a woman. Of course, they relented after Yasuo also started growing his hair out to support his brother.

Needless to say, Yone was relieved when he finally built up enough money from gigs to move out, and was able to have a bit more freedom in his self-expression. He wasn’t even completely sure why having long hair or pretty outfits meant so much to him, he just knew it somehow felt natural when he brushed his fingers through his long locks, felt his ponytail swishing behind his back, or how clothes that brought out his slender figure made him stare at himself in the mirror for a little longer than usual.

But Yone didn’t have the time to question these little things as his career quickly took off, and a lot of those familiar restrictions from Yone’s childhood started to return. Now he was stuck where the people he’d DJ for had specific requests for what to play, and he’d gotten big enough to have agents and managers that kept him from straying too far from the mainstream sound. On top of that, Yone still cared for his parent’s approval to a degree, even if he didn’t live under their roof, and didn’t want to squander any big opportunities just because he felt a little constrained.

But as the bar everyone expected him to meet flew higher and higher, Yone felt all the restrictions growing tighter and tighter, weighing him down more and more. He felt he had barely any time and absolutely no energy to work on any passion projects, the actual experimental and groundbreaking music that got him into the scene in the first place. His frustration reached a breaking point after a particularly tiring show. The equipment kept acting up despite there being no issues during setup, Yone kept having to play the same few songs over and over, and the set had to be cut early after a drunk fan rushed the stage and tried to get handsy with him. Yone was on his way home, feeling irritated, violated, and just so fucking exhausted.

The very last thing Yone wanted to do when he got back to his flat was argue with a stuck up manager over the phone who insisted he should’ve continued the show after the crazed fan was dealt with. With Yone’s mind not in the best headspace and absolutely sick of never getting to do things his way, he finally lost his cool and got into a shouting match with the agent that went well into the night. When he hung up, tears were streaming down Yone’s cheeks, and he couldn’t tell if they were from all the yelling or if they were from the relief of getting everything off his chest right at the people who, at this point, felt like they were just there to make things worse.

The relief was short lived, as the agent had quit the next morning, leaving Yone with no one to help him manage the business side of his job.

Yone felt at his lowest possible point. Maybe his parents were right that this wasn’t the path he should’ve taken, and that he should’ve just stuck with his robotics classes. But that all changed one night, it was a rare night when both he and Yasuo had time to meet up and just chill together like they used to. Of course, with both of them being DJs, the siblings naturally talked about music often, and while discussing up-and-coming artists, Yasuo brought up a duo trying to start a group; their names were Sett and K’Sante.

#dont worry i have rhayn drafts too but this idea has been gnawing at me for a bit #league of legends #lol #riot games #leagueoflegends #heartsteel #yone #trans headcanon #transfem headcanon #league fanfic

15 notes · View notes

adriannamunson · 2 years

Text

Little Miss Perfect

Eddie Munson x F!Reader

Summary: The Hawkins’ High School President, AKA, you, was paired with Eddie “the freak” Munson a couple a weeks ago. It is now a week before the deadline and your partner has not been helping at all.

A/n: My main account @eloisegrant is bugging out, so here is an Eddie story.

Warnings: tension, just a few swear words and fluff implied, Eddie is a simp and an Enemies to lovers trope.

Word count: 2.5 k

This was fucking unbelievable. You continuously chased after him after every school day, begging him for a couple hours to work on your project.

Some days he’d comply and do some work at school, but most days he’d make an excuse and go off to his hellfire club.

So you had enough, once the bell rang you prepared yourself and pushed down the goody two shoes in you. Trying to make sure you have every vulgar thing on your mind. Even though you were raised as a conservative girl you were not anything like what your parents perceived you to be.

Sure, you were the president of the school, constantly getting praise from your teachers and your peers. ‘Miss Perfect’, they would call you. But, that just wasn’t the case—

Because you were far from it.

I mean, your closest friends knew the true you, just not the whole community of Hawkins. It was kind of fun being the good girl that has never been caught.

You could not count the amount of boys you teased, flirted and toyed with throughout high school. However, one thing you never did was talk badly or mean to someone.

It just wasn’t in your DNA.

Oh but, if that someone was Eddie Munson, who had an incredibly uncooperative attitude, you were surely going to say something.

I mean he was a gorgeous sight to look at, pretty brown eyes, deep sultry dimples with a flurry of hair on top of his head and the confidence that he constantly emitted was hot as hell. Even enough to attract anybody.

You gotta admit, you did have a bit of a crush on the freak of Hawkins; but it just wouldn’t work out, you were Miss Perfect and he was… well gorgeous yet troubled.

Despite his looks, there are no limitations to how much a person could be a dick. And you were not going to be completing the project without his help.

So you followed Munson to the room him and his club posse scurry into, every day. You practically slam the poor door open, scaring Gareth, who was setting up their game. While also nearly causing Dustin to drop the bag of chips he was passing around.

“MUNSON!” Your voice was so displaced with the way you looked. Who in their right minds would expect the beauty wearing a pretty lilac skirt, long sleeved jumper and knee high white boots would just barge in like that.

Your cute fluffy hair wasn’t helping and honestly Eddie was in awe with the way you were approaching him. All fumed up and totally out of character. He stands up from

his makeshift throne to theatrically greet you “Why if it isn’t Miss Perfect-“

“Zip it, Munson.” You reach him, looking up to eye him down. He raises his hand playfully, as you point menacingly at him. “We have A WEEK to finish this goddamn project, WHICH BY THE WAY, If you fail, you won’t graduate!” You continued stepping towards him, causing him to back up until he was pressed against the wall.

Compared to Eddie, you were short. So as the Hellfire boys watched it all unfold, they passed each other the chips and murmured to one another. It was a fascinating sight to see their leader get intimidated by someone who looked like they would never hurt a thing.

“SO!” You stomped your boots in between his legs, making him instinctively spread them in shock. “…I suggest you come with me, we head back to my place… AND DO! THE FUCKING! PROJECT!” Your hand poked repetitively on his chest, pushing him onto the wall harder. Damn, if he wasn’t so eager to graduate, he’d ask you to do this on a daily basis, privately.

He could get used to this dominance you were exhibiting. The flush of your cheeks, the fumes escaping your ears and your vulgarity.

“Well, princess.” He grabs your hand gently and removes it from his chest, gaining the space to stand back up properly. “If you wanted me alone, you could’ve just asked.”

“Munson I swear-” You point your finger again, not in the mood for his pointless games. He grabs your finger again, carefully, before nodding while shushing you.

“I was just kidding…” You still had a death glare painted all over you delicate features, and Eddie was digging it. “Man, Miss Perfect has a very tasteful way of motivating me to study, doesn’t she boys?” He raises both arms and gains a collective laugh to erupt from the boys.

With a squinted and angry gaze back towards the boys, they shut up immediately.

He couldn’t help but notice you were still being serious once your deadpan gaze looked back up at him. “Alright, alright, don’t worry… No matter how hot that just was, I’ll ignore it. In the meantime, let’s go finish that darn project, hm?” Eddie scrunches his nose, before booping your nose with a verbal ‘boop’ escaping his lips.

You wanted to slap his pretty fucking face but you refrain. Also, did he just call you hot? Or something like that? Damn, you couldn’t think clearly.

All you could do was nod and head back out to the school grounds, while Eddie rushfully followed. Ordering the boys to continue the game without him, which caused uproar and excitement to ensue. They really wanted to lead the game, you thought to yourself.

The cold evening air hits you as you stood there by the school parking lot, waiting for Munson to appear. “I’m assuming we take my van?” You get broken out of your thoughts when gestures his keys infront of you, pointing to his va.

“See, you say van but that’s what I call a health hazard” You banter with him. The van was a bit rickety and old but it wasn’t as bad as you described. You just enjoyed teasing him quite a bit because you had to admit— snarkiness was kind of hot.

He groans, holding his hand over his chest to act like he was heart broken. “I’m offended, that is my baby.” He runs to the van, carefully caressing its side.

“You’re weird.” You try to hold down a smile from peeking through your lips as you open the passenger side, sliding onto your seat as Eddie does the same on the driver’s seat.

“Oh you love it.” He winks at you as he twists the key to the sputter of the van. “See? What I tell ya, my baby.” His fingers traced the steering wheel and it was fucking hard to ignore the way they moved.

The intricacies of his veins, the way his rings were wrapped around those fingers and even the way he was playfully massaging the steering wheel. He definitely knew what he was doing.

You just couldn’t help but think… What else could those fingers do? How nice would those hands be against your neck? Damn it, you gotta snap out of it.

“J-just drive.” You stuttered, facing forward as you adjusted your seatbelt. Eddie knew damn well you were looking at his hands and it was not just because you liked his rings. But, he simply ignores it for now, following your orders to drive to your house.

————>

Opening your front door was easy for you. But for Eddie, he felt so out of place. You lived in such a big and pristine house, it was wild that he had the opportunity to enter there. You notice his wide look at the sight of your house’s frontage and tap his shoulder.

“Munson, come on.” You open the door wider to let him in. He got distracted again with the pictures along the walls. Like each wall was dedicated to a child. You had three siblings and all of them have gone off to college, they had some pretty nice achievements.

But of course, nothing stood close to their star girl who had the best wall ever taking the entire length of the stairs.

Eddie got distracted by a picture of yours, you were about 8 probably. A pretty bow on top of your hair as curly strands framed your face. Your hands formed a v underneath your chin.

“Well looky here!” He stares at it, crossing his arms.

You blush and curse yourself internally, you had too many pictures here that you wish he would not see. “Oh god, I was just 8 so please don’t judge.” You stood next to him, practically pushing him up the stairs so he could not focus on the pictures and awards.

“Cute pictures… Little Miss Hawkins? Little Miss Photogenic? OOO Little Miss Congeniality! So freaking adorable.” His compliments, although embarrassing, were making you blush. You had reached halfway up the stairs before bumping into your mother.

“Oh, y/n, baby I didn’t hear you come in-” Your mom fixes herself as she spots you and… this boy she has not seen in her lifetime. The sight of Eddie was enough to cut her off, mid sentence.

Her eyes widen at the sight of Eddie, his hair, the devil on his shirt, the many dark accessories and his tattoos. You catch on that your mom was panicking, out of all the boys you could have brought home why did it have to be someone who looked like he could murder?

“Momma this is Eddie, he’s my project partner.” You step up from behind Eddie and adjust your messy hair that was due to pushing him up the stairs.

“Oh thank goodness…” She blurts out in relief. You furrow your brows at the fact that your mom had no filter whatsoever on the fact that she didn’t seem to like Eddie. On the other hand, Eddie didn’t care, he was used to freaking people out. So he just decides to play along.

“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Y/l/n. Your daughter tells me you make amazing cookies.” He extends his hand out which makes your mom hesitantly shake hands.

“Oh she does? You’re too kind and, yes I do.” Your mom smiles at the compliment and nods off to Eddie, before stepping down the steps to head to the door. “Well, I’m off to the supermarket. There are some juices and snacks in the fridge.”

And with that, she goes off. Opening and shutting the house door. You look up at Eddie, “cookies?” With a tilt in your head and a lift in your eyebrow, you question his sudden compliment.

“Hey, listen, I just tried to fit in.” He follows you up the stairs, watching every move you make. Your room was at the far end of the hallway. It was nice to have your siblings away because you get to pick whatever room you wanted. And so, you picked the corner room.

“Not too shabby, Miss Perfect.” He smiles upon entering your room, he closes the door behind him. It wasn't girly, It was just very organized. From the books on the shelf to your dresser, or to your bed. Again, he felt out of place.

You couldn’t help but notice his little nickname he gave you, “Why do you keep calling me that?” You spoke with your back turned as you fixed your desk to situated both of you.

“What? Oh you mean Miss Perfect?” He teases again, hands behind his back as he playfully skips to you.

With a quick turn, you eye him down and roll your eyes, “Yes.” The desk was finally set to sit two across from one another, so he takes a seat as you do the same.

It was by the window, so your face was being beautifully framed by the sunset’s rays. “Because… well…” He lingered on his words as you flipped through your notebook. Too focused to even realize Eddie’s lovestruck gaze on you.

The sun was certainly making sure he would fall for you. With the way you looked with the rays all over you. “I mean, just look at you.” He whispers, half praying you didn’t hear him, half praying that you did. And goddamn you did.

Slowly, you lifted your gaze to look at him. The orange hues of the sun reflected on his features too, and it was a sight to see. But you were still not engaging. Trying hard to hide the blush on your face.

Looking back down to your notebook you spoke, “Not much to look at, Munson.”

He wanted to grab a mirror and pinpoint every single beautiful thing that you had. From the way your hair was constantly, perfectly styled. Or your perfume. Or your smile. Or your eyes. Or your giggle that could spark anyone’s faltering heart back to life. Or even the way your eyes squint when you focus, just like right now.

“Are you kidding me? Have you seen yourself?” He was not going to let this down. He places the palms of his hand on the table, making you look at him. “I and everyone else in this shithole town have the honor to witness such an aphrodite, like you, Miss Perfect.”

There was no way you could control the smile that was forming across your face. And Eddie notices. “There! Right there! Look at that!” He forms a frame with his hands as he closes one eye. As if he was trying to capture a picture.

“I mean, Mona Lisa is fucking jealous right now. THE GREAT LEONARDO DA VINCI wishes you were his muse!” He flails his arms around, which was such an adorable sight for you that you just couldn’t help but giggle.

“And the angels sing in chorus as God tells tales about your beauty!” The dimples on his cheeks deepen as he explains himself. Practically putting on theatrics, as he does, with the way he spoke.

“Eddie please…” You try to cover your face, hiding the smile and redness across your cheeks. But he reaches over the desk and softly pulls your hand away.

“Miss Perfect, I call you Miss Perfect because that is what you are- Perfect.”

You guys locked eyes for about a minute, you never noticed how insanely long his lashes were before now, but having him this close was different.

He clears his throat to ease the tension. “So uh… Yeah…” His eyes blink erratically, as if he was trying to calm himself down. “Don’t question my nickname for you.” He awkwardly plops back into his seat, smiling a thin line.

He did not know what came over him to suddenly burst out with those feelings. But, it was just a trait he usually did. He just didn’t expect to do it to you. Now you probably think he was weird.

And don’t get him wrong, he was already known as a freak. But, he didn’t want you to think he was a creepy stalker or something like that.

“I certainly won’t.” You were left speechless at Eddie’s words and a bit breathless from the way he made you blush. Did he mean what he said? Or was he just sarcastic?

Anyway, you shake the situation away and he did the same. You flipped to the page of the project instructions and sighed loudly. “Alright, so… let’s start?”

~~~~

Part 2

#eddie munson imagines #eddie munson #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x female reader #stranger things 4

220 notes · View notes

vivika-ka · 2 years

Text

now that i am done torturing myself and finished season 4, i’m not going to explain why the last episode made me pause multiple times to pace in my room because i was so angry lmao because i reblogged plenty of well explained posts already.

but i’ll talk about other stuff that stuck with me, and people might hate me for it but…yeah, ain’t that the life of anyone that doesn’t enjoy popular characters.

grammar might be shit because english is not my first language. fyi, this is fairly big and it’s very negative, so if you want to skip, feel free.

[i mean it, if you read something you don’t like to the point you want to send me threatening messages or cyberbully me, keep scrolling and leave me tf alone. thanks.]

1. dustin had waaaay too much screen time. why are we supposed to accept him as the certified genius of the group when all of members of The Party are “nerds.” all i’m asking is maybe instead of dustin always being the one figuring the upside down out, give some of those ground breaking discoveries to lucas. but also, it got to the point of being so annoying. i know it’s supposed to be a running gag of “maybe some humility will do you well,” but all the time? shut up.

2. everything and everyone revolving around nancy. i’m not joking. robin is scrambling to get on her good side and make nancy like her, which season 3 robin would’ve cared less. the whole stäncy thing, i just…please move on. the fact that she expects jonathan to be the one to drop everything to be with her, when he’s been doing that for every season, like maybe nancy can make some effort too? idk. the expectation that jonathan has to be the one to absolutely change the trajectory of his life because of what she wants (point is, he shouldn’t be afraid to decide the trajectory of his life, this is a relationship which entails two people, not one). the portrayal of every character being annoying, stupid, and incompetent sometimes, while she is always portrayed as someone incapable of mistakes. the same old self righteous and superiority crap that i don’t like. (but that’s on me because i never liked the wheelers since season 1, so i admit i’m biased).

3. going from stäncy fiasco, it still is technically tied to the overt attention to nancy, but steve was supposed to grow up. when she says he’s grown, i could only laugh at that point. part of growing up is realizing that maybe, just maybe, you have to learn to live with yourself instead of desperately seeking for a lover, which is what steve had been doing. being in a relationship isn’t going to fix all of your problems (this applies to mïleven but i’m not even going there). we had moved on from steve being in love with nancy, but the duffers act like that’s all there is to his personality, and let’s be honest, they were obviously out of ideas for steve’s character because they don’t know how to write characters other than relying on their superficial and stereotypical lenses. it would have been interesting to maybe see steve realizing that he is convinced he needs nancy in his life because he is lonely as fuck—so it’s not about “being in a relationship with nancy would change your life for the better,” there’s no such thing, it’s about “you’re seeking what is convenient and familiar because you are terrified of ending up alone.” but whatever, steve will always love nancy because that’s all he is there for.

4. the overt attention to karen wheeler. why am i supposed to care about this woman? why are we getting karen and ted’s reactions so much, and not the sinclairs or mrs. henderson? they are the ones watching their kids run towards danger right in front of them, why are they panning to karen constantly? “she’s worried about nancy,” yeah it’s been established again and again, but i am interested about the parents who are at that moment watching their kids turn their backs to them instead of asking for help. but then again, why should i care about her? to me she’s nothing but a woman who was flirting and willing to have sex with a 17-year-old in seasons 2-3, so, y’know, i’d much appreciate the sinclairs’ outburst about trust given they seem to be the most stable family in this show.

5. max’s “he made my life a living hell” after episode 4, but also after season 3 when it portrayed both of them as not super close but on the way to a better relationship. (i could go on about this but as i said, plenty of people did already). + the scene of billy breaking the sauna door portrayed as though that was all him and not him possessed by the mind flayer, me poupe. + “you’re much braver than your brother,” and the scene didn’t cut to said brother standing up to the mind flayer? ME POUPE.

6. the whole papa redemption arc. just get the fuck out of here. yeah, eleven didn’t forgive him, but the whole “i love you, you’re my family.” are you kidding me? the man ripped kids from their families, experimented on them, without a doubt killed and got them killed, all for the sake of winning an ideological war. ME POUPE.

88 notes · View notes

lostcauseinc · 10 days

Note

You asked for something cute, tell me if this lives up to your expectations! ^~^

I’m a gross little thing. I’m into a lot of the worst, bad, straight unethical stuff but at the same time I’d love to be corrupted! I’d love to be your innocent little sibling you’ve made completely dependent on you, who trusts and loves you very much. So much so that I’ll do anything you want if you ask me!

You took care of me more than our parents ever did. Made sure I was well fed and studied well for school. I owe it to you don’t I?

That’s when you start asking me to do bad things. I don’t question it, you know best! Even if it’s telling me that I’d look so cute and beautiful with scars all over my body…

Or when you ask me to act as your punching bag after a hard and stressful day after which you compliment my bruises.

I’m hesitant at first but, who would I be to reject my big sibling?

And so your asks become more depraved and nonsensical. Making me touch your sensitive bits, teaching me how to touch mine or that of the family dog <3

I want you to make me enact your weirdest and most unethical Fantasies and I want to become addicted to it. The more we do, the more I want to do them. You notice that depraved acts excite my tiny brain and parts so much that I wait every day for you to be there to see what other “fun activity” you come up with during the day.

I want whatever’s left of my life outside of you to be plagued with depraved and horrible desires as you teach me to enjoy being a perverted little freak… haaaah,,,

Well that- that was horni thought of tonight hope- I hope it was cute thank you for this opportunity big bro >////<

- 🐇

I've gotta say, my expectations were exceeded.

Aren't you just the most precious little sibling I could ask for? So trusting and loving, so easy to take advantage of and shape how I see fit.

This brought the most vivid mental image to mind for me; of you, trembling and cowering in your room after I get home pissed off, knowing I'll use you to blow off steam. And you sit there and shake, and you don't even know if it's from nervousness or excitement anymore, and all your little head can worry about is what I might do to you this time. And when I push open your door and say your name in that dangerous tone you get butterflies in your stomach and come right up to me without even thinking about it, presenting yourself to danger without a second thought.

God I also had the lovely idea of *slowly* introducing you to something like scarring yourself all pretty for me. Holding your hand in mine while I carve cutesy little shapes into your skin, telling you how good you're doing when you let me finish the little stars dotted down your thigh. Complimenting them every night as they heal over, telling you how cute they are and asking over and over "don't you agree?" And you know better than to disagree, so over and over you tell me how pretty they are until all doubt is erased and you believe it whole-heartedly.

I'd absolutely love to infect your mind like that, to know that every moment you're off doing something else, supposed to be focusing on important things and other people, your mind will always wander back to me. I'll litter you in bruises and cuts and marks that you feel all throughout the day, make you so fucking sore in spots you didn't realize could ache so you're reminded of everything I do to you constantly.

It’d be so nice to use my cute little sibling to get out all those awful impulses and obsessive thoughts that bother me. And wouldn’t you feel so useful, knowing you’re helping me out by letting me enact them? Being my perfect little source of relief. I’ll whisper all the disgusting thoughts I have at night in your ears, only to show you exactly what I meant the next day. And you’ll get so used to it that you’ll start thinking things up on your own, coming to me with your own crooked ideas for me to toy with. Spending all day trying to find something new to surprise me with, all so I’ll tell you how brilliant and perfect you are for me.

I’ve got a whole rotten host of thoughts on the bit about touching, but I think you can wait to hear that. You’ll be patient for your big brother, won’t you?

// Also, don't think I didn't notice you sending in two versions of this. I was half tempted to keep this one to myself, but I'm sure you'll offer me plenty of other little things that I won't have to share. Isn't that right little sib? You’re fucking precious.

Don’t mind that this took a while for me to respond to- You did so well for me, I wanted to make sure you got something nice in return. A little reward, yeah? Though I do wish I could give you another sort of reward. 🖤

#🐇 anon #lostresponds #fauxcest #fauxc3st #1cky sibling #cvtting kink #corruption kink

6 notes · View notes

pbs-theundeadmaggot · 1 year

Text

all i have left to give

(AU) Steve Harrington x gn!reader

[a/n] If you haven't listened to Thousand Below’s latest album go check it out, I am literally obsessed with it. This is another song fic for Stevie cause he lowkey gives me soft angsty vibes. i’m not entirely sure about the end but I've spent months working on this piece trying to put my thoughts into words, cause the love I have for this song is beyond belief. As always reblogs are always appreciated and I would appreciate it even more if you would check out my latest fics as they have got zero attention and I’m feeling a lil insecure about them.

[warnings?] The upside down doesn’t exist, all ‘adult’ characters are aged down (18/19 yrs) and are all in their final year of high school. really its just angsty miscommunication/misunderstandings with a happy ending (although slightly ambiguous?). Also I have no idea how the american school system works so… and in the UK prom happens after you finish secondary school so thats what i’m going with for this.

other works available here!

20 odd years looking for the same heartbeat found in your rapport,

I see your eyes gleam and you’re happy with him.

You know the saying “you don’t realise what you have until it’s gone” well that never rung truer to Steve then it did right now. He’d been so caught up in a hurricane of mixed emotions that he’d completley neglected the one person who stood by him through all his parent's bullshit and more, you had seen him at both his best and worst yet you loved him regardless, even when he was being a huge asshole towards you, you couldn’t stop the swell of your heart beating against your ribcage, threatening to break through. You were there for him in a way no-one else ever was, whenever he was upset or frustrated you would hold him in your arms, wrapping him up like a saftey net and gently run your fingers through his soft hair, whispering that it was okay and that he was safe. He would cry on your shoulder almost shaking with nerves and sometimes anger and although it worried you, you let him continue until he could finally tell you what was wrong because in the end no matter what had happened, the two of you always confided in each other no matter how fucked up the situation may be.

He didn’t even realise he’d lost you until he pulled up to school in his worn down car, he’d had a shitty couple of days which had made him irritated and all he wanted right now was to be wrapped in your soothing embrace, his parents constantly on his back about how much of a disappointment he was to them. It was never a “hi son, how are you?” Or “I’m so proud of you” and while he expected it from them, he still hoped that one day they might show him just a little care, yet that never happened. However, he didn’t expect the sight he saw, stopping in his tracks while his mood dampened even further.

Edward Munson the resident freak had one arm wrapped around your shoulder, the other holding a cigarette. The smile that graced your face and the way you looked up at him with a fond gaze broke steve in half. You were wearing the infamous Hellfire club t-shirt, matching with Eddie and while his bad reputation stood stronger than ever, you looked like an angel. The two of you looked close, closer then he would’ve liked and it made him wonder how long the two of you had been a thing? How much had he missed?…

Steve wasn’t jealous. No. Why would he be? He just wasn’t used to seeing you with other guys, usually it was always just the two of you. Never needing anyone else when you had each other. Although, he had to admit he had been somewhat distant recently but not to the point where you would stop being friends with him and seek comfort from someone else, right?

i’ll keep my distance so the light never dims.

Perhaps he’d been an idiot. Scratch that. He had been an idiot not even noticing how the last text you’d sent was weeks ago, how the daily calls the two of you had were all replaced by multiple missed calls that never got answered by him. He didn’t notice how you no longer had week long sleepovers together or midnight adventures to get ice cream. And he most certainly hadn’t noticed how your parents no longer greeted him when they saw him out and about, deciding to simply smile and wave from afar with a pitiful look in their eyes.

Looking back on it now he should have known. He should have noticed. He was supposed to be your best friend, your twin flame yet he’d given all of that up to chase popularity and other girls, only seeking you for his own comfort and never for yours. He had become the man he said he would never be. He was selfish and greedy, too stupid to put his pride and ego aside and apologise to you, more than willing to throw away everything you had together. How he hadn’t realised the sparkle in your eyes dull and the smile on your face grow tired? He felt physically sick just thinking about it, he’d taken the years of friendship for granted and the one time he really needed you, he no longer had you.

It was no secret Steve’s parents cared more about their reputation and money then they did him but your family had practically raised him, filling the evergrowing gap his parents carved out. Not only had he turned his back on you but your family as well. His thoughts were spiraling out of control, making him dizzy with guilt and shame. Your parents probably thought he was a piece of shit. oh god. What if they saw him in the same way his parents did? He thought being rejected by his parents hurt, well the pain of this realisation tore him from the inside out.

but tell me i’m not dead

tell me it’s okay,

tell me we might’ve worked on a simplier day.

Believe it or not Steve was a complicated man, he was the shell of a broken boy and wether he liked it or not he was damaged goods. He’d gone majority of his life where his parents constantly brushed him aside as if he meant nothing, eventually he began to believe it. Perhaps it was a coping mechanism of his where he felt the need to constantly push those close to him away, looking for a way to reject them before they did to him, searching for an excuse to explain the damage done to all his past relationships, or perhaps it could be simply explained by the fact that he was an asshole, probably all of the above. Yet, like a toddler throwing a tantrum he refused to change his ways, stuck in a never ending cycle of abuse at his own hands.

He knew he needed to apologise and explain himself to you but he couldnt bring him self to do so. Ashamed of his actions and afraid you would only confirm what he believed. He was a waste of space, not worthy of your love and attention you once gave him. He couldn’t bare to see the disappointment in your eyes, tears threatening to fall, silent echoes in the back of his mind screaming at him to let you go once and for all, knowing that he didn’t deserve you and all he would bring is pain and grief.

He was a monster. And he did what monsters do best.

Live up to their reputation.

Tell me life goes on,

Tell me i’ll be fine,

say the pain wil stop,

it’ll pass in time.

The first weeks of senior year had to be the worst time of your life, Steve had jumped ship to a bigger and better one, claiming his place as the King of Hawkins High, leaving you to be devoured by the fame hungry commoners and ego fuelled elitists. At first you wanted to believe it was just a phase, that the popularity would work its way through his system and soon he would be back to the Stevie you knew and loved so deeply. As the weeks grew into months you managed to find your place in the hierarchy of school, gaining a reputation for being an outcast, perhaps even a Satan worshipper with help from the one and only Eddie Munson. He’d become a good friend to you, seemingly replacing Steve by filling your time with lessons in DnD and grand monologues quoting his favourite book, Lord of the rings, although, deep down you knew no-one could ever replace Steve, not in the way you hoped.

You told yourself you wouldn’t be the girl that chases after a guy. You knew your worth but you also desperatly wanted your best friend back. Trying everything you could to get his attention, from leaving notes in his locker, waiting by his car after school, climbing up to his bedroom window in the middle of the night, name it you’d probably done it. Stupidly thinking that you could fix whatever had gone wrong between the two of you, believing that you were the reason he no longer wanted you.

It was only when you noticed despite all the attempts that he didn’t seem too bothered by your lack of presense in his life, in fact he seemed happier then ever, leaving you to go crazy wracking your mind with all your flaws and imperfections, wondering why he would ever treat you like this? How he could let you go without even so much as a fight?

You’d heard about the rumors floating around that he had become a heartbreaker, his reputation for wooing the girls that lusted after him, only to become another notch on his belt, yet a part of you couldn’t believe the sweet young boy you used to know had turned into a douchebag like this. Only once you saw him in the arms of another, his signature smirk painted across his face before he leant in to kiss her, did you realise that the rumors were true.

Maybe you were naive in thinking Steve would always be by your side, that he would never hurt you, but you couldn’t help but feel the hollow space in your chest everytime you heard of his latest conquest bragging about his performance and how he would promise them the world. His name no longer gave you joy and hope instead leaving a bitter trail of betrayal behind. His voice, the one that used to make butterflies arupt in your somach now made you nauseas with pain, believing all the words he once spoke you truly meant nothing if he repeated them to a dozen others.

And maybe i’ll belive you then,

and maybe we can just be friends,

and i could tell you about the things i’ve seen

And you’ll never have to suffer all the pain I keep once again.

You wondered if he was happier he no longer had the weight of your love on his shoulders, he sure seemed it spending his time with a girl round one arm and drink in the other. Had he discovered that the love you still held for him was never strictly platonic but one that ran so deep it would kill you before you ever stopped loving him? You’d wishied it would've already.

A bitter laugh arose in your throat as you recalled the day that you vowed not to speak to him ever again. A little dramatic for a 7 year old if you asked now but back then it felt like your world was crashing down, hard and fast with no sign of life to appear again. Neither of you could stay mad at each other for long though, forgiving him only a measly 8 hours after he’d put frogs in your favourite sandals and set them to float in the little lake nearby. He’d claimed he was only trying to give them a nice place to sleep, knowing how much you adored the colorful jelly bears that sat on the strap of your sandals, believing that they would make the perfect nest for the green amphibians that would now haunt your dreams; that the love you held for your dollar store sandals and the love he held for his favourite slimy creature would make them invincible to whatever may come to hunt them in the future.

If only younger you could see you now.

Now that you think about it how he managed to come up with that logic was beyond you considering he was still just a dorky immature child to you, one that you proudly called your best friend.

Your laugh was soon replaced with a sour expression staining your face, your heart dropping at the thought that you would never be able to return to those simpiler days where nothing really mattered exept for having each other. All you had left of him was ghosts of the past and faint glimmers of memories you once shared together. You were all alone. Your best friend had scrubbed you clean from his life and you’d never live the future you once dreamed of, one that included your Stevie in all aspects.

But i’m not sleeping well these days,

I’ve been better if we’re being honest,

death is all i see in place of a smile,

i can barely stop it.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Steve had invisioned his future so many times and this was never even a possibility; you were always there by his side. He thought he might go to college and if all went well he’d prove his parents wrong. Although even if he did, that wouldn’t matter because you and your family never judged his worth over something so mediocre like a scholarship or a degree. He’d hoped to get a place of his own, eventually have a place to call home where he would raise his brood of Harringtons. If he was lucky he’d finally admit how in love he was with you, how he wanted nothing more than to hold you tight in his arms and never let you go, how he absoluley adored every part of you from your kind and gentle nature towards everyone and anything to the sparkle in your eyes that were filled with oceans of emotion he could happily drown in. Hell maybe you’d agree to marry him one day, the soft whispers of “i love you” being spoken for as long as you both lived. Eventually in decades to come the story of your love would be passed down to future generations and no longer would the Harrington name be stained by its previous reputation, instead it would continue to flourish with everlasting love and fullfillment that even the most seemingly perfect families would be envious of.

Unfortunatley though that was just a wish upon a star that would never come true, forever destined to follow in the loveless, narcissistic repuation his parents would gladly pass onto him. As he laid in the confines of his bedroom after a long shift at Scoops Ahoy he couldn’t help the warm tears spill down his face as he scoffed at his younger self for thinking his life had fallen into place back when he’d become the King of Hawkin’s high. Almost hysterical laughter bouncing off the empty walls at the idea that the friends he once had beside him would remain at his side through anything. Simply fucking breaking down at the thought of Nancy Wheeler being the love of his life when all he really wanted was you.

I’m under, it’s over, it just wont show,

I feel it, it’s overloading in my brain i’m sure,

I know it.

Soon enough, the day came where you and your fellow classmates were no longer confined to the dark corridors of Hawkin’s high school. The day you would venture out into the world and be at the hands of reality to either succeed or succumb to the pressures of society. You didn’t think it would be so emotional but something about standing with groups of people you practically grew up with, saying goodbye weighed heavy on your mind.

Sure, you didn’t like some of the people but that didn’t mean you wished ill will upon them, plus you weren’t saying goodbye to just the people but everything you thought you knew about the world. For some this change could make or break them however, without the saftey and security of your once best friend, doubt knawed at you, filling you with anxiety.

Eddie stood beside you, arms linked and proudly smiling at your families in the crowd. You knew there was a graduation party going on at Steve’s though you weren’t sure if you wanted to go, afraid that you wouldn’t be welcome although, Steve would never turn you away. Eddie had tried to convince you, soon giving up and deciding to chill out and revel in the newfound freedom you now had.

There would be no waking up at 6 am to get ready for school, no more homework you would have to stay up late to complete, no detention for being young and stupid and most definitely no lessons you were forced to attend and listen to. of course that was unless you decided to go to college but why would anyone want to put themselves through more school?

Steve’s parents thought otherwise, when they found out he didn’t want to attend college they grilled him to no end. If he thought the critisism before was bad, it now was a nightmare, thankfully for the most part they were too busy travelling and doing god knows what while Steve moped around at home. Stripped of his title and left to fend for himself he became a no-one once again, fading into the background in the small town he was trapped in.

I’ll probably speak your name on my last breath,

just because,

It’s all that I have left to give.

The days grew longer and nights became lighter as prom approached, Eddie being the non-conformist he was decided prom was not for him which you respected however, that didn’t mean you were happy about the idea of going alone, having no-one to bring you one of those cheesy corsages or match coloured outfits.

Back to a time that now felt millennias away you and Steve had made a pact that you’d attend prom together as long as you were both single, it didn’t have to be romantic considering neither of you had admitted your feelings for each other but you couldn’t deny the hope bursting in your chest that maybe just maybe he liked you that way. Of course now you knew that would never happen, you would have to be content with your own company perhaps finding solace in being alone, not having to worry about the expectations of prom.

What you didn’t realise was that Steve was thinking the exact same thing. The time spent apart had given him a lot to think about and reflect on, realising that he had been in the wrong the entire time and while thinking he was doing what was best, resulted in nothing but heartbreak for the both of you. He couldn’t go on like this, stuck in a state of limbo where everything was so grey and dull, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t atleast try to get you back. Lord knows he would spend the rest of his life beating himself up for the mistakes he made, forever wondering about the what ifs?

He had a plan. With the help of the freshmen kids he’d befriended and babysat in the past year and his former classmate turned good friend Robin, it was set in motion. He just had to hope you would atleast hear him out long enough for him to confess his feelings. Dustin being the little menace he could be convinced you to attend prom with him,as friends of course, afterall he was like a brother to you so you knew you’d at the very least have fun with him.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。

So tell me I'm not dead,

tell me it's okay,

tell me we might've worked on a simpler day,

tell me life goes on,

tell me I'll be fine,

You were a jittering mess, nervous to attend prom with the thought of having to face Steve for what could be the very last time. The idea of having to see him in all his perfect glory with his latest girlfriend, acting all lovey dovey while you watched from afar still feeling the hurt he caused you. Thankfully the ring of the doorbell interrupted your thoughts before you could talk yourself out of going, smoothing the sides of your outift you opened the front door not expecting what was on the other side.

The smile you had perfectly curated began to fall at the sight of his messy chesnut hair and nervous smile, pushing back tears you turned your attention to his outfit, a classic suit probably borrowed off his dad and a corsage in hand he stood in all his former glory. For a minute you forgot you were supposed to be mad at him, silently taking in his appearence as if all of this was a twisted dream and would disappear in an instant.

“what-why are you here?” if the confusion on your face wasn’t apparent then the shakiness in your voice would atleast be, urging yourself to remain strong regardless of the outcome of whatever the hell was happening right now.

“uh I-“ The boy puffed, words spewing from his mouth in a jumble of incoherent sentences “I’m taking you to prom” He stated matter of factly, nodding his head towards his car as a sign that he wasn’t lying.

“I thought Dustin was taking me?” the sentance came out as more of a question than a statement, making you cringe slightly at your attempted indifference to his presense.

“Well you see…” He rambled on, fiddling with the corsage in his hands while speaking a million miles an hour, as if he was trying to say as many words as possible before he ran out of breath.

“and Dustin tied me to the chair” he continued not realising you were zoning in and out trying to comprehend the words leaving his mouth. "a clown” “JELLO! He made me eat JELLO” emphasis clearly on the Jello and at this point you wondered where exactly this was going because it sure as hell wasn’t convincing you otherwise.

“I needed to talk to you” The words peaked your interest finally as you looked him dead in the eyes for any sign of deception or humour.

“First of all, couldn’t you have just said that instead of rambling on about clowns and Jello? which frankly I don’t have a flying fuck what that has to do with this and second of all, what makes you think you have the right to talk to me after the way you treated me the past year?” Clearly he wasn’t expecting the sudden anger although, he couldn’t blame you after everything thats happened. Pausing before speaking again, this time in a more calm and collected manner.

“I love you. I’m in love with you” If anyone was watching right now surely you looked like a fish out of water, gasping for air as you processed the words he had the audacity to utter.

“What the fuck?” Now this had to be a nightmare. There was no way you were hearing the boy you dreamed of daily speaking those words to you. For you. It had to be a joke right? His friends put him up to this and yet again at your expense you would become the walking punchbag. “That’s not funny” Attempting to slam the door in his face, not in the mood to deal with his bullshit anymore, prom was not worth this amount of hassle, even more so if it involved Steve Harrington.

“Wait, wait!” he approached begging you to hear him out “I’m serious I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU. PEOPLE OF HAWKINS I AM MADLY IN LOVE WITH Y/N Y/L/N AND I NEED EVERYONE TO-“

“what the hell is wrong with you?” Pulling him in frantically in order to keep what little dignity you had left. Thank God your parents weren’t home to witness this, not even sure how you would explain whatever was happening.

“Please just listen to me. Fuck. You can hit me for all I care, just let me say this” Pleading with those stupid doe eyes you couldn’t help but give in, after all this time they still had the same effect on you, rendering you into a speechless lovesick mess. “I’m an idiot okay? I thought- I know you deserve better then I could ever give you and I thought I was doing the right thing. I wasn’t. I hurt you-I abandoned you. I promised you I would always be there for you and I wasn’t. I am so sorry. I’m so sorry” Tears clouded your vision as you gave into the pull, wrapping your arms around him in an embrace you deeply craved. “I love you and I will spend the rest of my life loving you because you are the only person for me and I had to tell you, you needed to know. I needed to know if i had any chance or if I had fucked us up for good because i can’t live with the regret otherwise, thinking about the what ifs and what could’ve been.”

and you could take my breath,

it's all that I have left to give.

All the pain and anger you felt was erupting from your body, breaking you down in front of him. Sobs wracking your frame as you clinged to him, desperatley needing to be close to him because despite how angry you were at him, he was your rock and you needed him. Just like he needed you.

It could have been hours or weeks passed by the time you finally had the energy to pull away from him, feeling a sense of guilt for unloading all of these emotions onto him, ashamed that he witnessed the pain he caused you. The pain he didn’t deserve to see because you were better then that, or so you thought. Neither of you knew what to say, unsure of where you stood knowing the next words spoken could make or break your future. The two of you must have looked like a mess, slumped against the front door in a tangle of limbs, your makeup running down your face, hair messy and eyes swollen and red.

You pondered on his words for a moment wondering if you could truly forgive him for all he’d done. You knew the answer to this yet a sadistic part of you wanted to turn him away and watch him pay for all the damage however, you could never do that not when he had now handed you his heart on a silver platter, saying the words you had longed for him to say to you.

It would take time to heal and move on but for now you would settle for whatever ‘this’ was, lapping up the stability you felt in his arms, head rested in the crook of your neck, gentle breaths gracing your skin as you ran you fingers through his hair in a soothing manner. Simply content with each others company, basking in the shift that had occured between you, no words needing to be exchanged other than soft whispers of “I love you’s” and “i’m sorry’s” echoing as reminders that you could get through anything together.

#steve harrington imagine #steve stranger things #steve harrington #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things #x reader #x y/n #steve x reader #songfic #fanfic writers #fanfiction #steve the hair harrington #steve imagine #stranger things x reader #Joe Keery #Spotify #pbs-thedesecrated

23 notes · View notes

lunchboxpoems · 2 years

Text

A STUDY THROUGH HOMES

We live in imaginary countries —Etel Adnan

When people ask where I’m from, where I’m really from, I ready my permutations. My mélange of autumnal streets, my obscure cities, the countries I found built on a mound of papers and tears, the pebble-sized universe occupying my left shoe—I want to tell them everything. I want to see how far we can go.

____

A Venezuelan couple moves into our neighborhood. They share their story with me, why they migrated to Peru: the inflation, their hunger and fear, their love—they are relieved they can send money back to their families. They say they miss the soup their grandmother used to make, the sleepiness after eating it, the magic. When I ask what’s home for them, they say home is a fist that dreams.

____

Instead of calling home by the name of a country, I imagine calling it by people’s names or pronouns. Hello, I’m from Sang-Hee. I’m going back to Alejandra. Have you ever visited Daniel? I’m proud of you. I miss me.

____

I realize I’ve been acquainted with my husband for less time than I have my parents, who received and kept my first laughter like a pressed flower in the folds of their memory. Less time than my sister, who would only fall asleep when my hair was twined around her thumb, an amulet against nightmares. I didn’t expect I would end up staying in the United States after finishing my studies; I find it strange I fell in love with a stranger. Though maybe it was because he was a stranger, and it’s easier to love strangers. One day, the years I’ve known him will claim half my life, then maybe most of it, but never all. This, the life of an immigrant too.

____

I ask my parents whether they miss Korea. My father crosses his arms. Says home is now. My mother, next to him, adds home is also then.

____

A BBC documentary explains how, at some point, a hermit crab must look for a new home, a new shell to protect its curved abdomen, pliant as a grape, easy cooking target for the sun. It’ll meet others by the shore, where they’ll line up patiently from largest to smallest, to swap shells that match their present size. A systematic method of survival that benefits everyone—except for the one left out. It sears into my mind. Not the idea of one being left out but the image of the crab, its toy-orange legs flailing, hurrying after a shell with a hole on its roof that will just have to do for an uncertain while.

____

I ask a friend whose life oscillated between Trujillo and Lima where’s home for her these days. She says home is any place that calls her name.

____

At the airport, the day I would stop sharing a roof with my family, my mother tucks the word saranghae deep into the pocket of my ear. She repeats, saranghae, saranghae, saranghae—until the word I’d heard every day sounds like a foreign language, until the word sheds the husk of its meaning and is replaced with music.

____

At one point, I thought my home was a pair of hand-me-down pants I’d eventually grow into. But home was the blur of my body, in which the same bloodstream didn’t flow twice, in which a deep breath made my lungs embrace my heart tighter, before letting go.

____

In my mailbox: a welcome letter and a 3x2 inch card. It declares I’ve been granted temporary permission, acceptance, to be where I already am. I could drill a hole in it with my stare: this small key on the palm of my hand, green like a pair of emerald earrings I never had, green like bad breath and anxiety, green like the application fees that continue to increase like an insidious dream of bloating grass. Green, the color of my conditional privilege. All condensed into a single object I’m asked to carry at all times but made so I could, easily, lose so much more.

____

I’m tired, so I read about how policies attempting to restrict immigration constantly fail, unable to forbid the body, the cities and deserts it carries inside, the winds wrinkling its lakes, the finches darting not only above but under its airport ceilings. I’m tired, so I lie down. The earth spins for me and the dead continue their orbiting. It gives me strength to remember there is no such thing as an immovable object.

AE HEE LEE

#ae hee lee #poem #poetry #home #immigration #immigration poem #immigrant poem

63 notes · View notes

ghostlit · 1 year

Text

posting this here bc i don't know where else to and I don't want too many people who know me irl seeing this

I have been dealing with really scary health issues since July and have gone to an insane number of doctors. from the beginning I was convinced that I had a terminal neurologic illness given the super specific symptoms I was experiencing. The illness in question is extremely difficult to get a diagnosis for and basically requires Drs ruling out every other possibility. I am now at the point where every other possibility has been ruled out and things keep getting worse and scarier. I'm in pain I've never experienced before in my entire life almost constantly and I'm beginning to lose the ability to move muscles in my face because they are literally getting eaten alive essentially. I'm just really sad and scared. I feel so alone and I know the lifespan for this disease especially the type I have is only about 2 years. I just finished my masters in library science in May and then this all started in July. My entire life is ruined and I know I'm the only one to blame for causing myself the severe stress that brought this on. I can't talk about this with anyone because I feel stupid and no one understands how scary this is and how much pain I'm in. No one believes me when I say I know that I am dying. Every day feels like a nightmare and I can't even really do anything to distract myself because of the pain and the exhaustion and the fact that I'm living with my parents in my hometown and most of my friends have moved away. I was able to have one week where I visited a friend and felt normal for a little while but as soon as I got home things started progressing even faster. I push myself to be as normal as possible and not show people how much I'm suffering which I feel like is part of the reason people don't believe me. Ik this post is really annoying and I don't expect anyone to really read it or care ik I'm essentially yelling into the void. Also ik this is poorly written. My thoughts regarding all of this are always super jumbled but I needed to get this out there idk!!

#dont feel like u have to interact or anything if u dont want to #i just dont know where else i can post about this that wont super embarass me idk

9 notes · View notes

nonuggetshere · 1 year

Note

Asked a question about one au, and got a mention of another au half off, a great deal if I say so myself. XD Speaking of AUs, now you have me intrigued about the arranged marriage AU that you mentioned. I would absolutely love to hear more about that as well if you're willing. -An absolute sucker for various outcomes of various situations known as AUs 🍂

SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING, I was too tired to comprehensively explain this AU LMAO

So anyway, this AU isn't actually that well developed, but that's fine because talking about AUs helps me brainstorm them and develop them further (FaaF for example was a WAAAAY different AU before I started telling my bestie about it) so this is very convenient for me (so yeah this is also the first time I'm talking about this AU publically, no tag for it yet)

Excuse my rambling, I'm pretty much going to brainstorm in this post LMAO

Originally, Petunia was going to be related to Vespa, either her bastard child or grandchild that she marries off in exchange for training the Pure Vessel, but I was very, very unhappy with this idea from the get-go. With how opposed Vespa is to the entire plan in the game it would have been very OOC for her to do this in my opinion, and while I am a big advocate for "canon is just a suggestion" and am not too pressed about accurate characterisation, changing a character only to prop up the other is the only thing I cannot vibe with. Truly, the only reason Vespa even came to mind in the first place is because she's the closest and most convenient bee royalty, which...isn't a great reason to change her Singular Canon Trait, in my opinion.

Instead, I think I'm just going to have to plop down another bee kingdom reasonably nearby Hallownest but not a part of it. This does mean I could get to explore Petunia's parents as characters, which I've been meaning to do for a while (I don't talk about her past often because it isn't fully finished, but her mother wasn't a good parent. It's something they and Flower bond over in main FaaF AU).

Pale King, looking for any opportunity to sharpen his Pure Vessel's skills, works out an agreement with them. Their "problem child" will be married off to his vessel and he'll accept them into his family and they will be treated as such even post-sealing, and in exchange, her bees will help train the vessel.

Although she's not a good parent and pretty much just wants an easy way out of her problems with her son, she still loves him in her own weird, problematic way. So she only agreed to this because she was filled in on the basics of the Pure Vessel's nature and with the promise that they're not actually alive, in her mind marrying Petunia off isn't a problem if the said spouse is barely above an object. In her mind, Petunia will still get to live her life and date and do whatever she wants and won't have the obligations of a normal political marriage because nobody's actually expecting her to be loyal to an object, but now she's not her problem but the Pale King's, and maybe the two of them can have a normal relationship now that they don't constantly bicker and fight.

This of course doesn't go according to plan.

Petunia's mother's opinions of her daughter and their relationship couldn't be further from the truth, and if she thinks dropping them off to be a part of some other family will fix their problems then she's deeply mistaken. Petunia is not the kind to forgive easily and she sees this as just another slight from their mother, that she demands that Petunia respect her and be nice to her but doesn't actually want to put any of the work into fixing her wrongs and their relationship. So this entire situation just infuriates Petunia, who hates his mother even more now, and on top of it they feel alone and scared in a new kingdom, surrounded by strangers - and man are the nobles here complete assholes.

Petunia and Flower meet as teens and are married off shortly after they both turn 18 and then Petunia moves to Hallownest. They share a room and everything, and at first, Flower is very, very unhappy about their arrangement. They didn't want to get married to this stranger, that wasn't how they imagined their wedding day, and now they lost one of the very few safe spaces for them where they could be themself and relax in private.

But the more they live together and interact with one another, Flower starts not minding Petunia as much. They're always so unusually nice to them, despite knowing of their nature. And, okay, they'll admit it, they're actually kinda cute.

Flower finally reveals themself to Petunia when they one day return to their room after training and find her crying on the bed. They want to comfort her somehow, she was always so nice to them and they want to repay them.

Instead, they damn near give Petunia a heart attack. On the plus side, he's not crying anymore? It's hard to cry when a supposed statue is talking to you

They eventually calm down, and then they're just bewildered, honestly

"Why- why would you reveal your secret to me?"

"Because you were sad, I hate seeing you sad... And also no one will believe you."

So after this, they actually start to develop a friendship. Flower can actually act like themself at the end of the day again, and honestly, it's actually kind of nice to be able to talk to somebody who isn't their little sister.

Petunia can vent to them about their life and they always listen and try to support her, and similarly, they finally have somebody who they can rely on and vent to.

Petunia eventually started going out with them and Hornet, and sometimes he even managed to convince the Pale King to let him take Flower along to the city whenever they didn't have any other duties.

Petunia eventually settled into Hallownest nicely with their and Hornet's help, and aside from occasional hiccup with their mother whenever she'd remember their existence and write a letter their life was pretty good.

Over the course of the next few years, they grew extremely close together and naturally eventually started catching feelings. Cue the good old secret romance. Petunia even tried to convince them to reveal themself and not be sealed, but he knew that if Flower's anything it's extremely stubborn and there was no changing their mind once they set out to accomplish something.

This all went to shit the second Flower's knighting ceremony goes awry

Instantly, Petunia's mother treats it as a break of their deal and demands Pale King return her child home and for the marriage to be broken. She of course doesn't ask Petunia's opinion even once. Meanwhile, Pale King is busy trying to, you know, save his kingdom, so he essentially tells her to suck it and wait until after he deals with more pressing issues because he doesn't have the time now to handle their divorce.

On the plus side, Petunia's presence does mean Flower feels more comfortable and safer around the palace. Their spouse is literally the last saving grace in all of this.

That's all I could think up at the koment

Though to be fair, I am not happy about this version either. It honestly would have been better if I could get the Vespa version to work, but currently, I have no idea how to do that. Aside from it being just way more convenient, I also greatly prefer political drama within Hallownest rather than bringing up a distant kingdom into this. So I guess if you have any suggestions, feel free to hit me with them!

#asks #thylacines can talk

16 notes · View notes