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hells-greatest-writer · 1 month

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Self Love Is Hard.

Lucifer Morningstar x Fem Reader

CW: Angst, Negative Body Image, Fluff, Self-Harm Mention.

Synopsis: You would think that when the King of Hell himself chose you as his love, that any doubts you had about yourself would vanish... but one night the thoughts rear its ugly head once more. Word Count: 3,481

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The night was unusually quiet in the hotel. Most mornings were left with redemption exercises that Charlie had planned with the staff and guests, while the night most people stuck together having fun. Usually, you would be with Lucifer in his workshop, reading in your chair while he worked on his little duck creations. Music would be playing on the radio that Alastor had given you that you begged Lucifer to let you keep. You usually looked forward to most nights knowing it would just be you and Lucifer together, though quiet, enjoying each other's company.

Tonight, though it was different, Lucifer was still in the Greed ring dealing with Mammon's temper tantrum over the loss of Fizzarolli, and Lucifer had to deal with the consequences of it. You knew Mammon's temper was one that Lucifer didn't want to deal with, but you had convinced him to go after Ozzie texted you about the ordeal.

Staring at your phone, you scrolled through the messages to Lucifer with a frown.

12:51pm: How is it going with Mammon?

No response

5:22pm: Alastor found a cat today, Charlie decided to keep it as a hotel pet!

No response

8:07pm: Any idea when you're going to be back tonight?

Seen

Lucifer hadn't been responding all day, and though you knew it was because he was dealing with his duties, you couldn't help but feel a bit saddened by it. Usually, he would respond with a witty comeback about how Mammon was an asshole or make a snide remark about Alastor. Instead, though you were met with the word 'Seen' at the end of your last message that was sent hours ago. It was now rounding to eleven thirty at night, and you had thought he would be back by now.

Most of his meetings didn't last this long, you know from past meetings, what if this time something had gone wrong? What if he got hurt in the Greed ring? Could he get hurt? That thought never crossed your mind as you never seen this man injured before. He was the most powerful being in all of Hell, could he truly be hurt? If he was... especially in Greed what would happen? You knew there was a place called Ransom, would they try to take him there? Sell him off to Charlie for a huge fee?!

All those thoughts ended quickly as your phone dinged to life indicating you got a message. Quickly, you sat up opening the message app seeing it was a message from Lucifer.

Luci-Love: Sorry duckling, Ozzie asked me to join him in Lust for a few drinks and to catch up. I'll be home later tonight.

You read the message, your frown deepening as you typed out a message and deleted it a few times. Your mind was beginning to race as to what he would be doing in Lust. You knew of the Succubuses that had tried to get with him last time you and him went to Lust together. It was for an anniversary dinner a few months back.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"That woman over there won't stop ogling you." You huffed as you took a sip of your red wine glaring daggers to the woman staring at Lucifer. Ever since you two entered Lust, you could feel their stares at your boyfriend, feel the way their jealousy grew as Lucifer had pulled you closer to him. You weren't usually one to be jealous, but you couldn't help but feel that envy tug in your chest. The demons of Lust were quite beautiful, sexy even if you were honest, so the fact that they were making heart eyes to the man you were with annoyed you.

"And that man won't stop staring at me either, but you don't seem to mind that." Lucifer smirked puffing his chest out as he knew he was being stared at by so many. Why wouldn't they want to stare at the King of Hell, he was a sight to behold! Especially tonight with the way he was dressed. Instead of his usual royal garb of his white suit, he was in a deep red tuxedo with black trims. His usual white top hat, left at home for the evening, leaving his blond locks styled perfectly back.

You cocked an eyebrow to him as he looked at you with a slight smirk on his lips before you felt him take your hands from across the table you sat at. He gave them a gentle squeeze looking into your eyes. "But darling, my eyes are on only you." He hummed, pulling your hand up to his mouth giving your knuckles a gentle kiss.

The simple gesture helped to calm your jealous rage down for the moment, not wanting to ruin your anniversary with him. Though the nagging feeling in your chest didn't waver as the waitress flirted with Lucifer, and he seemed to flirt back. He later explained he was simply being nice and didn't hesitate to show you just who he devoted himself to that night.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

That nagging feeling was back in your chest as you remembered the Lust ring. A thought tickling the back of your head wondering how many demons were trying their hand at being with Lucifer since you weren't there. How many imps were throwing themselves at him? You knew that Lucifer was loyal, but you couldn't help the doubt that creeped in through the silence.

With a groan, you set your phone down rubbing your face with your hands. You could feel your mind slowly slipping as you imagined what the women who were fawning over Lucifer probably looked like. Gorgeous tall women no doubt with thin waists and bigger assets that would tempt the weak. You knew your body was nothing compared to theirs. You were barely even average in your eyes.

'What does Lucifer even see in me?' Your mind wandered as you moved off the bed, your bare feet hitting the cold wooden floor of your shared bedroom. You slipped your feet into Lucifer's duck slippers as you grabbed the robe off the headboard and wrapped it around yourself.

You slowly walked towards the bathroom wanting to splash some water on your face. Lose the thoughts that were beginning to eat away at you. Before meeting Lucifer, you struggled to love yourself. You couldn't see what he did, how he seemed to worship your body and love every inch of you. How he was always enamored by your apparent beauty that you struggled to see yourself.

Though through the past almost two years of being with him, he has made you feel beautiful. He reminded you daily how much he adored you and loved you. How you were the only woman he ever wanted to see.

'If that's true, then why wouldn't he just come home? Why go to Lust?' The thought filled your head as you walked into the bathroom flipping the light on. Your eyes went to the mirror and stared over yourself. Your hand tracing your cheeks that seemed too puffy, your fingers tracing your jaw that seemed to jut out too much. Your eyes watched your movements, seeming so dull as they looked lower. Even with the robe on, your eyes were able to pick out the stomach rolls.

Instinctively, you looked down at your stomach, and sucked it in the best you could. It wasn't enough. You could still see your stomach jutting out, mocking you. Your hands grabbed at the extra flesh that was there, squeezing at it as your vision blurred with tears. The women in Lust didn't have this pudge, they didn't have this extra weight around their waists. They didn't have to worry about how their bodies looked in clothes. They didn't have to worry about making sure their skin was fully covered to hide away the stretch marks like you did.

You wished you could just cut the extra flesh off, just grab the scissors that laid in the bathroom drawer and chop away the fat that you were so easily able to grab.

Your hands were shaking now as you looked back to the mirror in front of you, watching your tears roll off your round cheeks. Even your tears were hideous. How did other people cry and not look as awful as you did right now. The longer you stared at yourself in the mirror, the more the tears seemed to blur your vision.

'Hideous beast, he pities you.' That same nagging voice mocked you in the back of your mind. That had to be it, Lucifer only felt pity for you... was only keeping you around till someone better came along or came back. Your mind drifting to Lilith now, the woman who left Lucifer all those years ago.

You had seen images of her, she was breathtaking. Tall, thin and gorgeous with long blonde hair. She radiated beauty. Lucifer and her had been married for eons before you two met, did he still miss her? Did he still find her more beautiful than you?

The phone buzzed from the other room indicating you had a new message which snapped you out of your thoughts, even for a moment. With a deep inhale, you left the bathroom, forgetting why you even went in there in the first place as you walked to the bed grabbing your phone. You were expecting it to be Lucifer, saying he would be home soon. Instead, though, it was just Charlie texting the hotel group chat with a new idea for tomorrow's lesson.

With a quick grunt, you threw your phone across the room watching it slam against the wall by a photo of you and Lucifer. It was a photo of the two of you sitting in a garden together, you are laying across his lap happily giggling at whatever he had been saying at the time. The look in both of your gazes was filled with nothing but love and admiration. The longer you stared at the photo though, the more you were nitpicking each imperfection you saw.

Your hair was too frizzy, your face was too round, the way you were squinting gave you what seemed to be crow lines.

As you stared, your eyes moved to the photo on the dresser. It was a smaller framed photo of Lucifer with Charlie and Lilith. He had offered to get rid of it, but you thought it was a sweet memento for him to have. At the time you at least thought so, but now as you walked up to it and lifted the photo you stared at the other woman in the frame. How did Lucifer go from someone like her, to someone like you? It didn't make sense to you.

As time passed, your mind continued down the dark path of self-hatred and you found yourself sitting on the bedroom floor, your robe long lost leaving you in just your pajama shorts and tank top. In front of you was a broken mirror, shattered after you punched your own reflection. It was obvious that you should clean your bleeding fist, but you couldn't bring yourself to. Maybe you should at least clean the broken mirror before Lucifer comes home. The idea of even moving, though it seemed too much to do, all that seemed to help was sitting on the plush carpet, hugging your legs as you stared at the broken reflection now.

The sound of whirring seemed to snap you out of your thoughts as your eyes looked up seeing the gold and red portal appearing in the room. Through the portal, you saw the purple blue sky of the Lust ring and heard people laughing and having fun. Then, coming into view was Lucifer wearing his usual white and red clothes, except his jacket hung around his arm, and his sleeves were rolled up. The buttons of his white and red pinstripe vest were undone as well, revealing the white undershirt he wore.

After a moment the portal closed, and the room returned to the darkness it had been for the past hour or so as you sulked in the corner.

"Darling, are you awake?" Lucifer asked as he set his coat down on the chair. He didn't notice you weren't in bed yet. He didn't see the broken mirror that you cursed yourself for not cleaning up. Nor did he see you in all your broken glory, eyes red and puffy from crying. Your eyes watched his movements as he moved to the bed only to notice you weren't there. "Darling?" His voice called out till his eyes finally found you.

In an instant, the lights to the bedroom snapped on as he looked at you, his vermilion eyes filling with fright. He took in the scene of the broken mirror in front of you, staring at the broken shards on the floor. His eyes then moved to your body that was trembling, hugging yourself with a bloodied fist. Then his eyes met yours, and the fright filled with a deep sadness as he finally noticed how miserable you looked.

"Oh darling..." He whispered as he walked over to you kneeling taking your hands into his. He examined the wound on your hand, noting the tiny shards of glass that glistened in the blood. He looked upset seeing the injury you had caused yourself, his mind wondering what made you do this.

For the first time in hours, you finally spoke, your voice cracking as you did from disuse "I-I'm sorry." You were sorry now, regretting how you felt, regretting all the thoughts you had knowing this was upsetting Lucifer now. You acted reckless, in your emotions, and now after a long day, Lucifer had to see you wallowing in your pity.

His eyes moved from your hands to your eyes as you spoke. One of his hands tenderly reaching out to cup your cheek to comfort you while the other still held your injured hand, cradling it in his own. "Let's get you cleaned up yeah?" He spoke so gently, as though if he was too loud, you'd break once more. He was obviously concerned about the injury, wanting to make sure it was dealt with before he found out what happened.

You didn't fight him as he helped you to your feet, all the energy you had at this point was focused on not crying once again at how soft he was being with you. You didn't fight as he took you into the bathroom, nor as he guided you to sit on the edge of the bathtub. The cold porcelain of the tub seems to help ground you from the spiraling thoughts in your mind.

Lucifer gently let your hand go as he began searching the cabinet for the first aid kit, muttering under his breath about how it seemed to have grown legs and moved. "Other... Cabinet" you told him, pointing with your good hand at the other cabinet door that he hadn't checked. He glanced over at you with a thankful smile before he grabbed the first aid kit from the other cupboard and sat beside you on the bathtub.

He was gentle as he picked the glass out with tweezers, and careful as he applied the antiseptic onto the wound cleaning it out. The silence of the whole procedure was eating away at you, worried about what he was thinking. He probably thought you were a mess; he probably was annoyed that he had to deal with your mistakes. The fear of him leaving you poking at your mind as tears began to prick at your eyes.

Once your hand was properly cleaned and wrapped, Lucifer brought your hand to his lips, and gave it a gentle kiss. His deep red eyes staring into your own, and those thoughts faded immediately. He didn't look angry or annoyed like you were thinking, instead, his eyes were filled with love and care. Just like in the bedroom, he brought his other hand to your face, wiping away the tear that had escaped your eyes with his thumb gliding across your cheek.

"What's wrong Dove?" He spoke so softly still, calling you by your favorite nickname he had given you. "What happened to the mirror in the bedroom?"

Your gaze finally broke from his as you looked away, looking anywhere else than his eyes. How do you explain to someone who loves you so much, that you doubted that love? How do you explain to someone who reminds you of your beauty daily, that you hated your body? The words seemed to be stuck in your throat, but Lucifer waited, he didn't push as the silence festered between both of you.

The man before you simply kept his hand on your cheek providing a subtle comfort as his thumb continued to caress at your tears wiping them away with each swipe. You couldn't speak still, instead moving your hand to your cheek, holding his. His smile was sad, worried about what was eating away at your mind.

"Speak to me Dove... What is hurting you so badly?" He finally pressed the issue after you didn't answer his first questions. All he wanted to know was what was causing you so much grief, so much pain to have you shatter the floor length mirror in your shared bedroom.

When he left this morning, you were happy. You both had shared a tender moment wrapped in each other's arms before he left to go deal with Mammon. Now though, you were like a hallow shell of yourself, and from the damage from the mirror, Lucifer had an inkling of an idea as to why.

This wasn't the first time you spiraled in your relationship together. He has comforted you just as much as you had comforted him in the time you two were together. He knew firsthand just how bad your mind could be to yourself. The nights where he hugged your crying form for hours proved that. Though he has never seen you this bad before. Just how long had you been alone with your thoughts?

The silence seemed to just grow more between you two, before finally, the tension in your throat keeping you from talking seemed to loosen. With a shaky inhale of breath, you looked at his eyes which stared at yours still waiting for an answer.

"Why me?" You began, your hand leaving his that was still against your cheek and instead fidgeted in your lap as your eyes left his. "There are so many other women out there who are far better suited for you..." That tight knot was back gripping your throat once more making it hard to speak, but you pushed through. "S-so many more women wh-who are more beautiful. M-more appealing, More-"

Your voice was cut off as Lucifer's lips pressed against yours gently silencing you immediately. After a moment he pulled back, his other hand now coming to hold your other cheek.

"My love, there is no one in either Heaven nor in Hell whose beauty can outweigh your own. Even if there was, you are the only woman I desire." He spoke slowly and quietly, staring deep into your own eyes. One of his hands moved and took yours, pressing it against his chest. "My heart beats for you, and for you alone." His other hand moved and took your injured hand tenderly, bringing it to his mouth kissing it once more.

These are words you have heard him say before, words uttered during past spirals. Words he would remind you of every chance he could, no matter how much you couldn't believe them yourself. You knew he was being genuine each time, his eyes holding no falsehoods, his voice never faltering as he spoke. It was the truth, and you never understood just why.

"You are the one I want to spend eternity with no matter the cost. The one who holds my heart in such tangles. I thought when I fell from Heaven, that would be the last time I ever fell. Then you stumbled into my life, and I fell even harder, and I do every single day. It's because you mean so much to me my little dove." He went on, taking the hand against his chest, and brought it up to his lips as well, kissing both of your hands.

The tears in your eyes now weren't from the pain you felt anymore, but from his words. Your partner was perfect in your eyes, always knowing the right things to say, the right movements to do. He knew the words that you needed to hear, and didn't hesitate to let you know every thought.

Without another word you leapt at him, wrapping your arms around his chest, knocking the two of you into the bathtub. The dam broke as he in turn wrapped his arms around you, holding you close to him. You wept in his arms, burying your face in his shoulder. Lucifer’s hand brushed through your hair, scratching gently at your scalp to comfort you silently, letting you release the emotions you were dealing with. How foolish you had been to let your thoughts get the better of you. How foolish you were to doubt the love this man had for you. You knew deep down you didn’t deserve him, yet he would beg to differ and would deny those thoughts of yours. He would even counter that he didn’t deserve you. When he fell from Heaven, he didn’t think he would be deserving of such love as yours’s, yet you love him day in and day out by choice, and he didn't think he deserved it either. After some time had passed, you had finally calmed down in his arms. Lucifer's hand not leaving your head as he continued to caress your hair, placing a soft kiss on your temple. Your tears finally had dried up, or well dried more so on Lucifer's red and white vest. Lucifer took the time to sit you both up in the bathtub, having you sit on his lap with one more kiss to your forehead. "Let's not go punching mirrors anymore, okay? If you need an outlet for that rage, we can ask Satan for some pointers." He joked as he stood up lifting you with him in his arms, carrying you as though you were weightless. You couldn't help but choke out a laugh nodding as you laid your head against his shoulder. "I learned my lesson... Mirrors fucking hurt." You responded as he carried you into the bedroom. You both would be okay, even if some days are harder than the other, you both had each other to help soften the blow of those hatred filled thoughts. Even if self love was sometimes hard, you knew that even if you couldn't love yourself, Lucifer had enough love to give you in replace of it.

#lucifer x reader #lucifer morningstar x reader #Hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin hotel oneshots #hazbin hotel oneshot #lucifer morningstar oneshot #lucifer angst #lucifer fluff #TW blood #TW Body image

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fuckingyrs · 9 months

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a mass of fools and knaves — august 10th, 2020 1:04am to 8:22pm

#rwrb #red white & royal blue #red white and royal blue #firstprince #rwrb edit #mine.gif #rwrb fanart #rwrb emails

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matts-k1tten · 2 months

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𝐖𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐞. pt.4

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3

summary: y/n finds her boyfriend (now ex) Chris cheating on her at a party and vows to make him feel the way she did..

warnings: Slighttt angst very little, make outs (no actual smut this part sorry guys), arguing, foul language. That’s all I think lemme know if I missed anything.

green: Mia

pink: y/n

orange: Chris

blue: Matt

purple: nick

red: body guard

———————

“I have another idea.” Mia says from beside me.

I don’t even get to answer when she cuts me off.

“Before you say anything, I want you to be calm.”

I nod for her to keep going.

She takes a deep breath in. “So you know how Chris has brothers, right? One of his older brothers, Matt is one sexy motherfucker. So what I’m saying is, you fuck him since you want to hurt Chris. Sleeping with his brother will hurt, right?”

I laugh in her face.

“Mia! What makes you think I have a chance with Matt? He’s always busy and I haven’t seen him in months!” I say still laughing.

“Well I did a little research and found out that the triplets are going to an influencer party tonight!” Mia yells.

My smile fades “How the fuck?”

“Don’t ask I have my ways.” She says.

“So you want me to fuck Matt at this influencer party? After not seeing him in months? Plus, he probably won’t do it I JUST broke up with his bitch of a brother. Also that’s so risky! What if someone catches us?” I shout nervously.

“Figure it out or something! I don’t know!” She yells.

I groan “What time is it at?”

“9:00pm” She answers.

I look at the time. “6:22pm”

“Mia, if we’re gonna do this then I need to be fucking sexy at this party. Like magic mike type of sexy.” I voice standing up off the couch.

Mia laughs before speaking. “Matt’s type isn’t sexy like that, I mean part of it is. He like girls that don’t show off a lot and aren’t all over him for his attention.”

I look at her funny.

“Mia I have to be all over him for his attention, how else am I supposed to sleep with him?!” I yell.

She holds her finger up at my mouth to quiet me down.

“Shush, just be yourself and don’t over dress for this party! To get Matt’s attention, you have to be near him and be nonchalant. Act sexy flaunt your ass around, Matt’s an ass guy so wear something that compliments your figure.” She speaks quickly.

I think of something in my closet that I could wear to impress Matt without trying when Mia speaks again.

“Oh! and also ‘accidentally’ brush your ass on him when walking by him, he’d love that.”

I chuckle and shake my head.

“Got it!” I laugh and start to walk up to my room.

Mia follows quickly behind me.

“I actually have the perfect dress for this party!” I say opening my closet to look for it.

While i’m looking for it Mia turns on the tv to play music.

“Hey can I borrow one of your dresses cause I didn’t bring one when me.” She asks still looking at the tv.

“Yeah sure let me just find the dress I’m thinking of then I’ll find you one.” I reply still shuffling around my closet.

“Yes I found it!” I yell and throw it on my bed for Mia to look at and approve.

Mia drops the remote and starts to inspect the dress.

It’s this long sleeve dress that has the shoulders showing and lower stomach with the bottom piece short and tight.

“Yes this is perfect! Now find me one.” Mia demands.

“Fine.” I say pulling out another dress.

It’s a shiny short red dress with straps on the shoulders. Something simple.

“I love this!” Mia screams looking at the dress and pressing play on a song.

“Emo boy” by Ayesha Erotica starts playing.

I look at Mia with a small smile.

“Whatt??! It’s to get you ready for Matt!” She yells smiling widely.

I just laugh to myself and start getting ready.

It is now “8:47pm” and I’m about to be done with my makeup when Mia runs into the bathroom.

“Finish the rest of your makeup in the car, the place is 30 minutes away from here we have to go now!” She squeals.

“What the fuck why didn’t you tell me sooner?!” I shriek and start tossing my makeup in my makeup bag and carrying it with me with the rest of our stuff.

“I didn’t check!” She yells from down the stairs.

“What time are they gonna stop letting people in?” I yell from the top of the stairs.

“9:30-ish” She yells now frantically gathering her stuff.

“Fuck!” I clamor and run out the house.

Mia runs up behind me and locks the door on her way out.

Mia hops in the drivers seat and me in the passenger seat.

Mia starts the GPS and starts driving immediately.

“What the fuck.” Mia whispers.

We park and quickly get out the car. The building is huge and looks nice on the outside.

It is now “9:25”.

We run up to the entrance and get to the men letting the people in. There was No one in line since everyone has already entered.

One of the men sees Mia and I slowing down in front of them.

“Ah! Y/n Macy and Mia Lewis! We were just about to close the doors, come on in!” One of the men say as the other opens the doors with a smile.

We walk in and look at each other still catching our breathes.

We look forward and stop in our tracks taking in the view in front of us.

It looked nice on the outside I didn’t think it could look better in the inside.

The place was huge with an open space, high ceiling and had a huge bar in the far corner from where we’re at. There’s also a big enough living room to fit 12 elephants.

To the right is where all the drinking games are being held and right next to that are the huge stairs leading up to a beautiful second floor.

There’s a balcony to the far side of the room from us.

I look at Mia with her jaw is to the floor. I laugh at her and drag her to the bar

“If I’m gonna sleep with Matt then I need to be tipsy first.” I vocalize and start to pour some Hennessy.

“Yes! I fucking love Hennessy!” Mia cheers.

We click our glasses and down it.

Mia instantly gets energetic and starts to dance around.

I laugh at her and look around.

I make eye contact with Chris across the room.

He gives me a small smile but I just scoff and roll my eyes along with looking away.

He wears a sad face and continues to talk to the person in front of him.

I put my attention back on Mia and she’s also looking around the room.

“Oh oh! There’s Matt!” She calls out pointing in a direction.

I look towards the direction she’s pointing at and see Matt talking to a beautiful blonde with a smirk on his face.

I look back at Mia with a ‘really’ look.

She looks at me. “What?”

“Mia he’s talking to a gorgeous blonde! I told you this plan wouldn’t work, you see the look on his face?! He’s completely mesmerized by her!” I shout gesturing to him.

Mia looks down as if she was forming a plan in her head.

Her head snaps back up at me.

“How about this, I can distract the girl and while I’m talking to her you can ‘catch up’ with Matt.” She says with a small smile on her face.

I sigh.

“We can try.” I reply.

Mia smiles bigger and drags me up to them.

“Hey! You’re super pretty, I just wanted to come up to you and tell you that I love your outfit and-“ Mia’s voice starts to fade away as she brings the girl to another side of the room.

Now it’s just me and Matt.

“Hey Y/n, it’s been a long time! How you been?” Matt asks as he goes in for a hug.

“I’ve been better, you?” I respond and hug him back.

He pulls away and looks down at me.

“I’ve been alright, I heard about you and Chris. I’m so sorry my brother was an asshole to you.” He speaks holding my shoulders.

“It’s ok Matt, I’ll get over it.” I say forcing a smile.

“Let’s go sit down, we can catch up.” Matt suggests leading me to the balcony.

Matt opens the sliding door and walks through.

There was a couch to the left of the balcony so Matt led me there and sat me down.

“So where were we?”

Matt and I are laughing as I’m hitting his arm.

“I can’t believe she did that!” I shout and breath.

Matt is breathing heavy and laughing trying to calm down. Matt starts to calm down and looks at me.

I look at him dead in the eyes with a small smile.

I breathe in and look away.

“I have a question for you.” I state.

“What is it?” He replies.

“When was the last time you slept with someone?” I force out.

He’s still looking at me and doesn’t say anything. “A while.” he exhales and looks away taking a sip of his drink.

My eyes widen a bit.

“A while?” I repeat. He just nods without looking at me.

“You?” He asks.

“It was a week before me and Chris broke up, that’s the last time we slept together.” I answer.

It fell silent.

“I could treat you better.” He says so quiet I barely caught it.

My head snaps over to him. I sit up on my knees.

“Yeah?” I say quiet while crawling towards him.

He looks at me.

“Yeah.” He says before he leans in our lips crashing together.

I have no time to react once I process what’s happening my eyes flutter closed and our lips move perfectly together.

He places one hand on my cheek and one on my hips pulling me on his lap.

My arms quickly go around his neck as I unintentionally start grinding on his hard.

He pulls away.

“Let’s take this upstairs.” He says softly while rubbing my hips.

I nod and get off him.

I take his hand and lead him back inside. I see Mia still talking to that girl.

Mia looks at me and I smile at her widely and she does the same back.

I was to distracted with Matt that I forgot about why I was trying to sleep with him in the first place. I just wanted to, not to make Chris mad. I wanted to do it because I actually didn’t know how long I’ve been waiting for my chance with Matt.

I lead Matt to a huge empty bed room.

He closes the door behind us and pushes me on the bed quickly crawling on top of me.

He kisses me again but this time the kiss was more hungry and full of desire.

He pulls away again.

“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for this.” He says in a low tone.

I look in his eyes, full of lust.

So are mine.

I smirk and quickly smash my lips against his.

He suddenly grips my hips making me gasp. He uses that as an opportunity to slide his tongue in my mouth.

His tongue starts exploring my mouth as if he’s trying to map me out.

Matt goes to take off my skirt but as his hand loops through my waist band, the door flies open.

Matt and I look towards the door and see Chris standing at the door way.

Neither Matt and I have tried to move out the position that we’re in, Matt’s hand is still in my pants and mine are over his neck.

Matt crawls off me and pretends to dust himself off.

I sit up and look at Chris with a shocked face.

Deep down, I’m loving my every second of this moment.

Chris’ face switches from shock to anger.

“What the fuck?!” He screams loud enough for the whole party to hear.

It was only Matt, Chris, and I on the second floor.

“C-Chris it’s not what it looks like.” Matt says while slowly stepping closer to him.

“Really Matt? It’s not what it looks like? It’s not that I saw you two run upstairs and you are now on top of her and you know I still love her!” He says impossibly louder.

Matt stops in his tracks.

“You-“ He swallows.

“You still love her? You didn’t say anything about that! Chris you cheated on her!” Matt shouts.

Chris stays silent as Matt goes on.

“I wouldn’t have slept with her if I knew that you still loved her!”

Chris opens his mouth to speak but closes it.

“Unbelievable.” Matt says under his breath and hits his shoulder as he walks away.

“Where are you going?!” Chris screams after him.

“I’m getting Nick, we’re going home! We’ll sort this out later!” Matt shouts back in an angry tone.

As Matt stomps away, I can see Chris’ hurt face.

He looks at the floor and that’s when I realize, I don’t only get back at Chris but I also made his and Matt’s relationship terrible and left it for them to sort out.

I quickly get up and speed walk by Chris.

I run down the stairs and try to find Mia, I see her still talking to that girl looking like they’re both having an amazing time.

Mia spots me and walks towards me.

She hops out her seat and tells the girl to call her later.

“So how’d it go? Did you ‘accidentally’ brush you ass against him?” Mia asks with a laugh.

I look at her with a worried face.

Her smiles fades.

“What’s wrong? Did something go wrong?” She asks frantic as we walk out the building.

“I fucked up.” Is all I say in a broken voice struggling to hold in tears.

“Tell me sweetheart, what happened?” Mia asks again as we reach the car.

I hop in the passenger seat and Mia in the drivers.

“I fucked up so bad, I didn’t even fuck Matt I wanted to but not because of Chris but because I realized that I’ve liked Matt.”

Mia moves her head to the side in confusion.

“I-I” I try to speak but some stray tears fall with me not being able to control it.

“shh shh it’s ok, breath talk to me.” Mia says softly while rubbing my back.

I take deep breathes before starting.

“Matt and I got into a bedroom but we didn’t know Chris saw us, also at that time I wasn’t even thinking about Chris I was just thinking of Matt and I. So when we got to the bedroom, we were doing the usual and then Chris barges in then they argued-“ I take in a deep breath.

“Then Chris revealed he still loved me and Matt got mad and said that they’re going home to sort it and when he left the room, I saw Chris’ face and that’s when I realized I fucked up their relationship.” I say quickly.

I breath heavily as Mia looks at me.

“Do you need me tonight? Cause I can stay with you forever.” She says softly.

I nod and she smiles and starts up the car.

It’s then I get a text from Nick.

Nick

What the fuck did you do?

—————————

a/n: what we’ve all been waiting for!! I love leaving yall with little cliffhangers 😝😝. I know you little kitty’s wanted Matt in here so I’m just feeding you guys. Also guys, sorry it took me so long to post this I was just trying to make sure that it was perfect and long enough because I know that my stories aren’t that long.

taglist: @vinniehackerslefttoe @mattybswife @stunza @goldenminutes @realuvrrr @braindead4l @mattsjournal @chrislapdog @gvf23 @emma4eva @cosmicmistake42069 @breeloveschris @jennss23

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enkvyu · 9 months

Text

☆ ┈ jujutsu kaisen masterlist !

main genre key: angst (a) fluff (f) crack (c) mature (m) horror (h)

imagines:

worst case scenario — gojo satoru ; (f)

just friends — gojo satoru ; (f)

couple therapy — gojo satoru ; (f)

timestamps:

3:36pm — gojo satoru ; (c)

— gojo takes you, shoko and getou for a drive and you almost get taken to the pearly white gates right then and there

3:19pm — gojo satoru ; (f)

— gojo’s pathetic attempt at asking you out on a date somehow ends in his favour

12:45am — gojo satoru ; (f)

— after overhearing you talk abt your ideal someone, gojo tries his hardest to live up to those standards and miserably fails

7:02pm — gojo satoru ; (f)

— part two to the above imagine due to popular demand

5:22pm — gojo satoru ; (a)

— gojo comes back to life but he is no longer the person you remember

8:12am — gojo satoru ; (f)

— you’re sick and the wellness of your body is in gojo’s hands

9:45am — gojo satoru ; (f)

— gojo confesses to you when you’re still in your pyjamas, eating sushi and with your bestfriends sitting right beside you

2:24am — getou suguru ; (f)

— the spark of your relationship w getou begins with a cigarette kiss

6:26pm — getou suguru ; (a)

— blackcat n spiderman au where getou’s embrace used to be a constant place of comfort, and now you make your final stop

fics [coming soon]:

a midnight scheme — gojo satoru ; (f)

— after transmigrating into a novel u never rlly gave the time of day, you realise you’ve been doomed into a body w an inevitable deathflag. unless, of course, you leave straight away. unfortunately for you, fate seems intent in making you the main character and you’re swept into a scheme of treason and high society, and of course of him.

heaven lies above us — gojo satoru ; (a)

— love is the most twisted curse of all. even though every action you make is fuelled by the purest love, it all seems to end in tragedy. thrown into a zombie apocalypse of your own making, you wonder if it’s hope that lies beyond the tunnel, or misfortune.

even if the world ends tomorrow — gojo satoru ; (f)

— they say the world will end tomorrow, so what will you do today? it looks like the answer is running havoc in the city with your best friend and two random strangers.

time intimacy — gojo satoru ; (a)

— even on your deathbed, gojo won’t show up. until he does, and you’re quickly reminded of what it’s like to live in his world. time only passes by as the two of you spend your final day in each other’s company.

cardiac arrest — gojo satoru ; (f)

— what’s this feeling in your chest? a frantic pumping, a rush of heat and dizziness, a sudden inclination to kick your feet and giggle. it only ever seems to happen around your one and only enemy, gojo satoru, but it’s all a coincidence, right?

headcannons:

jjk characters as spiderman pt. one (f) (a)

jjk characters as spiderman pt. two (f) (a)

jjk characters x reader who hasn’t moved on (a)

sashisu dynamics with you ☆ (old writing) (f) (a)

getou as your bf (f)

smaus:

two-faced — gojo satoru ; (c)

scenarios:

one

two

three

four

five

six

ask game requests:

one

two

rambles:

shoko angst one (old writing)

shoko angst two (old writing)

shoko angst three (old writing)

499 notes · View notes

stealanity · 2 months

Text

playlist two , enhypen :

⠀

ꕤ lee heeseung ,

movie date

movie date two ( angst ending )

movie date two ( fluff ending )

fever

my heart will love you

[ 5:10am ]

[ 11:54pm ]

[ 7:37pm ]

[ 8:44pm ]

[ 2:21pm ]

⠀

ꕤ park jongseong ,

alkanet ( smau , hiatus )

cinderella's dead ( smau , hiatus )

unexpected

good girl ( ft. jungwon )

like hot summer

hide & kiss

summer is not over

[ 8:12am ]

[ 3:02pm ]

[ 3:45pm ]

[ 3:34pm ]

[ 2:58am ]

⠀

ꕤ sim jaeyun ,

ticklish

6, 9, 7

we're both single

almost

attention

[ 5:23pm ]

[ 3:45pm ]

[ 5:32pm ]

[ 6:45pm ]

⠀

ꕤ park sunghoon ,

face painting

the bookseller

friends

[ 11:22pm ]

[ 3:06pm ]

[ 7:54pm ]

[ 4:22pm ]

[ 5:33pm ]

⠀

ꕤ kim sunoo ,

quarantine video game

so mad

sunshine

back to you

⠀

ꕤ yang jungwon ,

cinderella's dead ( smau , hiatus )

night talk

a to z being your boyfriend

good girl ( ft. jay )

that one rainy day

[ 6:03pm ]

[ 10:02pm ]

[ 8:02am ]

[ 12:34am ]

[ 12:58pm ]

[ 3:22pm ]

[ 3:47pm ]

⠀

ꕤ nishimura niki ,

teach me

[ 3:12pm ]

[ 12:33pm ]

⠀

ꕤ ot-seven ,

physical touch with you

october 19 : international kiss your crush day

their s/o being mad at them

their s/o crying non-stop during an argument

their s/o wanting to hold hands

having a chubbier s/o

⠀

146 notes · View notes

pattypanini · 1 month

Text

Lay All Your Love On Me Chapter 8- On the Edge

Jake Kiszka x Reader and Josh Kiszka x Reader

Word Count: 8.9k

TAGLIST

AN: Hi everyone! Here is the eighth chapter of Lay All Your Love On Me from me and @mar-rein12! This is a CRAZYYYY one. We will be compensating for everyone's therapy for this chapter and the next. Enjoy the eighth chapter, On the Edge.

Warnings: 18+, SMUT: Oral (M receiving), Sexting, Degradation, praise, SUBBBBB JAKE...., Dom reader, Cum play, Edging, Phone Sex

Vomit

Oh fuck. It felt like you couldn’t get out of your bed fast enough, you just barely got to the bathroom fast enough before releasing your regrets of last night into the toilet. Ughhh. You wipe your face with toilet paper, feeling a sudden wave of relief. Last night was something. Something you slightly forget, but also don’t. Ew. You walk over to the sink to rinse your mouth out with water and give them a quick brush before going back to bed.

When you wake up again, you roll over to your phone to check the time. 12:14pm. Not too bad for only having one class today. You saw a few messages on your phone but first a message from the GroupMe the musical uses to communicate.

9:47am Dr.Coleman: Hello everyone. Due to unforeseen events, practice will be canceled for today. Although, I can not force you to do anything I would highly recommend reading over your parts because we will be doing a full walk through sometime next week. I know it may seem early but we have to be prepared. See you All on Monday. Have a good weekend!

“Yessss.” You flop right back onto your bed and text Josh.

12:17pm y/n: I’m so happy we don’t have practice. What time did you wanna call tonight so I can make sure I’m free?

12:20pm Josh: Is 11 okay?

12:22pm y/n: Sounds good, my last class is done at 5 so I’ll get dinner with my friends and chill til then.

12:23pm Josh: I can’t wait, beautiful, I’ll be thinking about you 😘

You really liked this side of Josh, it gave you butterflies in your stomach. He was being so sweet to you, but you’d be met with completely different texts from his other half.

Holy shit. The texts that you received from Jake last night were far from being sweet and innocent.

1:37am Jake: Fuck y/n, you’re a dirty fucking slut. Grabbing yourself like that. Trying to lick yourself, I can do that for you baby. I’ll please you.

1:39am Jake: God you make me wanna touch myself. You bring out a different side of me. You take control of me, make me wanna do disgusting things. I bet you like that though.

1:40am Jake: I’m going to make good use of that pretty mouth tomorrow. You understand that? You're my dirty little secret, and I’m gonna get all the use out of you until this comes to an end. Just like these slutty pictures and videos you sent.

1:51am Jake: 1 Attachment: 1 Video 1:51am Jake: Fuck baby, you make me a mess. You see what you do to me, you make me cum so fucking hard. I wish your mouth was around my cock. That's what I think about, those beautiful lips of yours wrapped around my fat cock. Choking and gagging you, while I’m so deep down your throat.

1:52am Jake: I wish I could see your perfect tits as much as my fucking brother. It's not fair that he gets to see them just because he’s casted as your ‘love interest.’ If I knew it would be like that, I would have tried out.

He was really going through it last night, but what did he mean by ‘using that pretty mouth tomorrow?’

12:31pm y/n: Looks like you had a pretty late night, did you miss me?

12:33pm Jake: I did, but you seemed to have an eventful night too. I saw your private story. You looked drunk off your ass, how much did you drink?

12:35pm y/n: 2 shots of vodka, Long Island iced tea, Strawberry Daiquiri, Corona, maybe something else Idk. I kinda forgot honestly.

12:39pm Jake: What the fuck, how in the hell did you not get alcohol poisoning?!

12:41pm y/n: My body is immune I guess. I’m fucking feeling it this morning though, trust me. Now let me ask you a question. When you said ‘I’m going to make good use of that pretty mouth tomorrow,’ was that an in the moment thing or…

12:43pm Jake: Wouldn’t you like to know. Just keep your phone nearby today during class. See you later darling😘.

What the fuck does that mean. You decide to try your best to ignore it, getting ready for your day as usual. Even though you were doing the utmost to shake it from your brain, Jake was still lingering in the back of it.

—

You’re bored out of your mind, sitting there in your free elective, Introduction to Ethics. You completely regret taking this course, even though you heard it was an easy A. You thought about what would be happening this weekend, you were a little stressed. Hanging out with Josh and staying over at his apartment is one thing. But knowing Jake would also be there was stress inducing.

You were zoning out, only catching glimpses of the professor’s lesson. The boy next to you was very focused and interested, two things you were not. You glance over at him very unsubtly, taking a quick peek at his notes. His paper is almost completely filled up, whereas yours is still absolutely blank. His gaze catches your eye and he takes a look down at your notebook. He notices the empty page and lightly pushes his notebook over to you, allowing you to snap a quick photo.

“Thank you, I owe you one,” you send him a flirty wink.

He looks down at his paper, blush forming across his pale, freckled cheeks. “Anytime and if you need help with anything I can always be your tutor.” He pulls his notebook back and begins to scribble on it again.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you smirk at him. You were in fact not going to be keeping that in mind because the class was easy as fuck. You just didn’t find the subject interesting enough for you to care. You didn't care about moral relativism or utilitarianism, you just wanted to get out of the class.

You feel a vibration from under your thigh where your phone was located. You reach under and grab it, checking the notifications.

4:17pm Jake: Where are you?

4:18pm y/n: In class

4:18pm Jake: No shit, what building are you in?

4:19pm y/n: I’m in Angell, room 2224

4:20pm Jake: Okay, I’m on my way.

Why is he coming to my class? You were beyond confused, but since you were on your phone you decided to do some mindless scrolling through instagram. A few minutes later, another text comes through.

4:28pm Jake: Come outside the classroom, bring your stuff.

4:29pm y/n: Why?

4:29pm Jake: Stop fucking questioning me and get your ass outside.

You gather your things and quietly slip out the door. Your professor sends a little wave and a smile as you walk out the door, you reciprocate the gesture.

As you step out of the classroom you look left to see no one, then right to see Jake sitting on the cushioned chairs outside the classroom. When he looks up from his phone he stands and darts to the right making his way down the hall. You follow behind not knowing where he is going.

“Jake, where are you going?” Your legs pick up the pace. “If you're gonna make me leave class, at least have a reason.”

He stops suddenly, turning towards you grabbing your wrist. “I said stop asking fucking questions or else.” He throws your wrist back down and restarts his mission.

“Or what, Jake? You can’t do anything out here.” You boldly snap back at him.

“You're right, I can’t.” He grabs your wrist once more and drags you quickly to a specific classroom. When he pulls you inside you can barely see a thing. There are no windows, just a cement room, with a single skylight lighting the middle of the tiny classroom. You hear the sound of the door locking as he stands in front of it.

“Get on your knees.” You hesitate, everything happening so fast. “I said get on your fucking knees y/n, or are you deaf?” His aggressiveness takes you back a bit. You shrug your backpack off, then slowly make your way onto your knees.

“I’m gonna say it once, what you did last night was slutty. Teasing me with that fucking video knowing I couldn’t do anything about it other than touch myself. So you're gonna pay me back and use your mouth the way it should be used, sucking my cock. Not trying to suck your own tits, got it?”

“Oh! So, that’s what this is?” You push him back against the door, slowly begin to unbuckle his pants. “Poor Jakey just needs his cock sucked? You’re just so desperate for a blowjob that you use my video from last night as an excuse to get one. You know I could have been sucking some other guys dick last night.” You pull his boxers down releasing his cock, slapping against his stomach. “Does that make you mad, knowing my lips could have been wrapped around some other guy's cock, not having to keep it a secret.” You press light kisses onto his throbbing tip. “So fucking horny for me baby, so I will suck you off, but tell me why you actually want me here.”

He looks down to you, completely in awe. “I needed you baby. That video you sent me last night was so fucking hot. I just need you to suck my cock, please, I’m begging.”

You teasingly lick a stripe up the underside of his dick, not making any moves to go further.

“You're gonna have to beg a lot more Jakey, you think you’re in charge here but you’re not, and I’ll tease you as long as I want until I think you’ve earned it.” Placing a few more kisses down his cock.

“Please baby, I’m so fucking desperate for you. I cum just thinking about you at night, thats how fucking bad I need this. All I’ve ever wanted was your lips wrapped around my cock. I hear people talk about it and it makes me want it even more. Making the excuse is all I could think of to get you to suck me off because I didn’t wanna beg, but I will. Please y/n, I’m so fucking horny for you I need this.” He looks down to you with begging eyes.

“Such a good boy, Jakey.” You say as you once again take his cock into your hand. You hear him whimper slightly under his breath. “Does someone like being called that? You put up this dominant front, but you're just a little bitch who wants to be told what to do. Isn’t that right?’

Another whimper escapes his lips, solidifying the fact that yes he did enjoy being called ‘a good boy’.

“Tell me what you think about baby, tell me all the things you think about alone when you're jerking off. If you stop, I'm gonna leave you to finish it yourself.” You fire at him, you feel your own wetness beginning to pool in your panties.

Jake’s POV

Fuck. You almost came just from that alone. This is everything you’ve ever wanted. Since freshman year, you had it bad for her. Hearing what she did to all those other guys made your blood boil. But now it's your turn. You were her bitch and you couldn’t give one shit.

“Please y/n I’m so desperate I’ll tell you anything.” You can’t help but be a submissive mess for her, she just has such a fucking hold on you.

“So tell me Jakey, how long have you been thinking about me when you touch yourself, and what you think about.” She takes your cock all the way into her mouth, pulling it back out, sending your head against the door. “Oh and Jake…” You look down on her. “No cumming til I say so, got it?”

“Fuck- anything for you, darling, anything,” You whine out as she bobs her head up and down, slowly, on your throbbing cock.

She looks up to you with her big doe eyes, waiting for you to start talking.

“Oh fuck, um, the first time I saw you, you were all- all I could think about.” You struggle to get any of your sentences out, as she resumes her painfully slow bobbing on your dick.

“I would look at your insta all the time. I would think about what it would be like to get with you. I would purposefully go to the dining hall when I knew you’d be there, oh fuck, just to get a good look at you.” Your breathing picked up as soon as y/n started humming around your cock, inducing an unholy moan to release from your throat. “Once it started getting around to the school that you were just sleeping around I was pissed, not at you, but at the guys you got with. I wanted- fuck- I wanted nothing more than to be one of those guys.” She picks up the pace on your cock, making you close to losing it. “And since I couldn’t be one of those guys, I thought about what it would be like.”

You shut your mouth, trying your very best to stop your moans from slipping past your lips. You’re silent for a few minutes as she continues to work on your cock, but after noticing the silence she pulls away.

“Are you scared someones gonna hear baby, isn’t this what you wanted? You wanted to let everyone know that I sucked your thick cock. That’s all you’ve ever wanted, so enjoy it baby. Savor it. Or else you're not cumming, at least not from me, you can do it yourself. Slut.” She was spurring you on, bringing you even closer to orgasm.

You watch her intently as your hands travel to the shoulders of her shirt, balling them up in the palms of your hands. She slows down and pulls her mouth off slowly, leaving a string of saliva hanging from her lips connecting her to your dick. “You want this off Jakey?” She says grabbing at her shirt. You nod frantically, your eyes fully concentrated on her. “All you have to do is ask, tell me what you want.”

“Please y/n take off your shirt, let me see your perfect tits.” She smiles back up to you. Her hands grab at the hem of her shirt, swiftly pulling it over her head, leaving her in nothing but a little baby blue mesh bra. It wasn’t covering much, because you could fully see her nipples through it. “Please baby, can I take it off. I wanna see everything. Wanna see your pretty tits” She nods, your hand trailing behind her back, clipping it off her and letting it fall to the ground.

“Such a slutty man, I like that.” She brings her hand near her mouth before spitting into it, and pumping your cock. “Now tell me what you think about Jake, you know… when you're jerking yourself off to me like a fucking whore.” She’s gonna be the death of you.

“I think about a moment just like this, you sucking my cock. Most of the times I finish in your mouth and you swallow it, but other times I- fuck- I cum on your tits.”

She smiles up at you with a malicious look on her face. “I like that idea, wanna make that happen right now.”

“Ughhh fuck baby you’re gonna make me cum.” Your hand goes to her head, pushing her mouth back down around your cock. “Please let me cum baby I’m so close.” Her head bobs up faster and faster.

She pulls back for a moment and continues jerking you off. “Cum for me Jakey, show me how much of a good boy you are. Come on, cum all over my tits Jake, fulfill that fantasy, you dirty little slut.” With a few more pumps you're on the edge and can’t take it any longer. You release all over her tits along with screaming her name.

“Fuck y/n… Holy shit baby. You’re fucking perfect.” You say as you’re panting for air.

She looks up to you while her fingers go to her tits, gathering as much cum as she can get before sucking it off her fingers, continuing her deep eye contact.

“You’re a fucking maniac. You make me wanna tell everyone about you, I want you so bad.” She begins to stand up wrapping her bra back on her.

“You wish, Jakey.” She grabs her shirt pulling it back over her head. “Hopefully that’ll hold you over, and give you something new to think about. See you soon.” She sends a wink your way as she grabs her bag and makes her way back out the door she just came from.

Wait- what the fuck just happened?

y/n’s POV

As you make the grueling walk back to your dorm you take a moment to reflect on your actions of today. If someone had told you a month ago that you’d just finished sucking off Jake Kiszka in an empty classroom, you’d never believe them. Especially a begging submissive one, but I guess that’s just the effect you have on people.

As you open the door you’re met by Charlotte sitting on the couch staring at you like a parent waiting for their child to come home from a late party. She sat there with her arms crossed as if she was sitting there for a while just waiting for you to walk in. She glares at you as you drop your backpack off at the door.

“Where were you?” She questions beginning to cross her legs.

“In class?” You give her a weird look. Why is she interrogating you?

“Wellllll, you are late getting home. You usually get back around 5:15ish, it's 5:47, why so late.”

“Why are you acting like the police? It just took me longer to get back today, that's all.” You begin to walk back to your room, but Charlotte follows quickly behind you.

“Well that’s what I’d normally expect, but Sierra told me you left class early today, and she wondered if you went home because you were sick. So I just wanna know where you were.” She raises an eyebrow at you.

Shit.

“Well, I wasn’t feeling good so I went to the bathroom, I threw up a little.” You’re quick to defend yourself, hoping she won’t see through your lies.

“Makes sense. I know you like giving head, but I didn’t think that meant you’d start throwing up cum, you know since it’s dried up around your mouth.” You quickly look in the mirror. There it was a little patch of dried cum right in the corner of your mouth, definitely not one of your best moments.

“And not to play investigator but I went onto snap maps and saw that Josh was on the other side of campus, so who were you with y/n? Oh wait, I actually know because I saw you and another familiar bitmoji in a random classroom. So how long have you been fucking Jake Kiszka?” Charlotte shot you a knowing look, as you sigh in defeat.

“Ugh fine. We fucked ONCE, okay? Just one time. It was nothing serious.” You shrug it off as if it was nothing. Charlotte’s eyes widen, and you feel a pang of guilt sharpen in your chest. “Plus it’s not like Josh and I were a thing. That was all after he stormed off about being friendzoned.”

“Oh my fucking God. Does Josh know?” She questions you, you could tell she felt a little hurt that you’d kept such a thing from her. You usually tell each other everything.

“Umm, not really. So, you CAN NOT tell him, understand?” You were practically begging her, you couldn’t risk Josh finding out.

“You know I can’t lie.” She says with her puppy dog eyes.

You sigh, “I know Char but you need to not say anything. Okay? Don’t be around him, avoid him.”

“Okay I’ll try, so you guys just fucked in that classroom?”

Now realizing there is more to the story and you have exposed yourself you decide to come clean.

“Well not technically…”

“But you said you only did it once… OMG. y/n. It has happened more than once. When?”

I’m going to hell.

“Umm, the night I went to apologize to Josh.” You avert your eyes to the floor, avoiding eye contact. You were embarrassed and ashamed.

“HOLY SHIT y/n.”

“I know, I know it sounds bad, but when I went over he wasn’t there. But Jake was, and he comforted me. And then he fucked me, like it was crazy.” You put your forehead in the palm of your hands,realizing everything you just said. “OMG Char! Wait, never mind its TMI.”

“NOPE share you shouldn’t have brought it up if you didn’t want me to know the details.” She smirks at you with her pink lips.

“I don’t know how else to say this then just say it so, he made me squirt.”

“OMG OMG WHAT. This is actually crazy y/n. You should be telling everyone this.”

“No that's the thing, this whole thing is a secret. You weren’t supposed to know. While Josh and I aren’t dating it would kill him to know I fucked his brother, you can not tell anyone. None of my friends, none of yours, don’t even think about it okay? After this conversation it never gets brought up ever again.” You stick your pinky out to her, waiting for her to reciprocate the action.

She can tell this is stressing you, so without a fight she sticks out, sealing the pinky promise. “Just one more question and then I’ll never mention it again. I promise, pinky promise.”

You roll your eyes, “What Char.”

“What did you actually do in that classroom today, then?” She was on the edge of her seat.

“I sucked him off, it was crazy Char. You're not gonna believe this when I tell you. But he was begging, and whimpering, it was insane. He was so submissive. I never pictured him to act that way”

Her jaw opens, not being able to hide her reaction. “And I found out that he 's liked me since freshman year and that he jerks off thinking about me. He spilled so much about what he was thinking about, it was foul.”

Her mouth turns into a huge open mouth smile. “OMG, Jake Kiszka being a sub is not what I had on my spring semester bingo card. Did he call you mommy?”

“OMG nooooo. N-no, he didn't.” You were a little flustered after picturing him saying it in your mind.

“Would you let him?”

“Um, I-I don't know. Need any more details about my sex life?” You joke to her.

“I just wish my life was this interesting, I’m living vicariously through my sweet y/n.” She smirks at you and playfully shoves your shoulder. You roll your eyes at her, a chuckle passing through your lips.

“I’m just saying I haven't gotten any action in a while. Whenever you and Jake are done just pass him over my way.” Charlotte winks at you and turns to exit your room. You sigh and collapse onto your bed.

Why did things have to be so complicated? Why did you have to have feelings for the Kiszka twins? You were so confused, and quite frankly didn’t know where to go from here.

You loved the thrill you got when you were with Jake, the unpredictability and excitement was all consuming in his presence. Whereas with Josh he was so sweet and a charmer, for sure. The Sun and the Moon. The light and the dark. And with each day passing by, you didn’t know if you were more eager for the light to slowly creep in or the darkness to encompass you.

The evening was boring up until dinner. You laid in bed, did some homework and watched a few episodes of Victorious with Char out in the living room. While in the middle of an episode you and Charlotte get a text from your groupchat.

7:18pm Ari: Wanna walk the track after dinner, have a little yap sesh?

Char looks to you for an answer, not wanting to make the decision herself. You nod and reply back.

7:18pm y/n: Yes def.

You make your way back to your room and grab a pair of running shorts and a t-shirt. You slipped on your Hokas and pulled your hair into a slick back ponytail. It had been a while since you ran and were looking forward to it. The musical has taken up most of your time so having time for your physical health would be nice.

Making your way to dinner, you and Char meet up with Ari and Mae, spending your time like you always do, ranting about your day and anything else on your mind. But the track was for gossip. What is said on the track stays on the track.

You take the first 30 minutes to run, pacing yourself and taking your breaks as needed. It had been a while so you were a little rough around the edges. After the first thirty you catch up to the group and join in on the convo.

“He’s actually so attractive though, like in a dilf-y way.” Char says.

“How old is he Char?” Ari asks, not knowing if she really wanted to know the answer.

“I don’t know, maybe like 50 something. He’s beekeeping age. OMG he actually keeps bees, that's so funny.” Char says giggling and twirling her hair around her finger.

“Char, have you ever heard of the term bimbo?” Mae asks sweetly.

“Um I don’t think so, what does it mean?” Char innocently questions.

“Doesn’t matter, just know you are one in the best way possible. You’re just so cute.” Mae replies.

Char smiles and keeps on walking with pep in her step. She's adorable.

“So y/n, are you gonna see Josh soon?”

“I am actually. I’m going to be calling him tonight to work on some musical stuff and tomorrow he’s taking me out somewhere.” You state.

“So a date? I thought you guys were just friends.” Char probes. You’re hoping and praying she does not bring up the things that went down between you and his twin.

“We are just friends.” You say sternly. “I’m sure it’ll be something casual, but I’m also hoping it’s somewhere nice. You know they have money to spend.”

“Maybe you’ll stay the night at his place. You’ll be able to see Josh and Jake.” She sends you a devious wink.

Are you serious Char? You shoot her a glare, telling her to knock it off. She catches your drift.

“But I’m sure you don’t wanna see Jake, I would want to though.” Char says with a smirk.

“Well you can have him Char. Maybe I’ll ask if he is looking for a cute ginger girl.” You joke around with her.

Deep down, you wanted Jake all to yourself and you couldn’t help but think he'd want the same. You know how bad he wants you, and knowing that makes you want him more. But there’s Josh. You couldn’t ruin your friendship with him, or did you want something more than just that too? It was all very confusing. But you knew at some point a decision would have to be made, but now was not the time for that.

“Omg I would be perfect for that position.” She says all giddy. Everyone rolls her eyes and laughs about her comments, she truly is a bimbo.

After walking for an hour, Mae somehow convinces everyone to hit legs. You didn’t mind though, you liked the way it made your body feel. How strong you felt after. At around 10:05 you all begin to make your way back to your dorms, saying goodnight to Ari and Mae for the night.

When you're turning the corner to go past the dining hall you run into some familiar faces, the Kiszkas. Along with them their third brother and dad. Your eyes shoot open and smile at them. You and Char slow up to say hi to everyone.

“Hi Josh.” You smile at him and then turn to Mr.Kiszka. “Hi Mr. Kiszka, I’m y/n, it’s nice to meet you.” You reach your hand out to shake his. He grips your hand in his, giving it a firm shake.

“I know exactly who you are, y/n, I noticed you during last year's play. You did very well with your role, a very underrated character.” You thank him for noticing your talent. “My son has told me a lot about you.”

Oh shit. “Um, which son?” You giggle jokingly, but you're not joking at all. You look at Josh who is giving you a strange look, while Jake has a proud look across his face.

“Well Josh, unless you also know my son Jake.” He grabs Jake by the shoulder and shakes him a little, teasingly.

“I know Jake through Josh, never really got to know him though.” You look at Jake, who is shaking his head with a giant smirk plastered on his beautiful face. You turn your attention to the youngest of brothers, who was sporting a t-shirt and short shorts. He has gorgeous long hair that framed his face perfectly, it made you jealous. “I don’t think I’ve ever met you though?”

The youngest brother reaches out his hand for a shake. “My name is Sam, I might be coming here next year.” He smiles holding your hand a little longer than the average handshake, and with a little too much eye contact. You smile at him not wanting to be rude.

“That’s awesome, are you guys all taking a look around campus now?”

“No, no.” Mr. Kiszka butts in. “He has been here enough times to know the layout, we just came to visit these two, and go out for a quick dinner and go to see an old buddy who was in a band when I went here. I don’t know if you have plans, would you like to join us?”

You look at Charlotte who has a grin on her face. “No thank you sir, I hope you all have a great time tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow Josh. Goodbye Mr. Kiszka, it was nice to meet you.” You grin at him “It was also nice to meet you Sam, hopefully I’ll see you around next semester.” You say innocently, knowing that his intentions were to not come at all to college. Do you say bye to him? If you don’t it's even weirder.

“Nice to see you Jake. I hope you all have a good night.” You give a final wave before heading back to the dorm.

“That was awkward.”

“Oh shush it Char.”

As soon as you make your way into the dorm and the door clicks shut, you turn to Char.

“Char, did the convo we had earlier mean nothing, I said that information about Jake can not get out.” You widen your eyes at her, and you can tell she feels bad about it.

“I know I’m sorry. I wasn't even trying to bring it up, it just happened. I promise I won’t bring it up again.” She says with her big green eyes staring at you. You can’t stay mad at her. She has such a forgivable face. Which is probably why she’s able to get out of a lot of trouble when she is caught doing something she's not supposed to.

Like how Freshman year she was able to convince the police officer to not breathalyze her because she had asthma and didn’t want to start having a coughing fit. Somehow he believed her. Which you still don’t see how because she was absolutely obliterated and looked a complete mess.

“I’m gonna head out for a bit, Jonathan asked me if I wanted to stay the night at his place. So if you wanna have Josh over…”

“He will not be over, have a good night. Be safe.” You smile at her as she heads right back out the door.

After Char leaves, you shower and relax for a while until you receive a text from Josh.

12:23pm Josh: Hey I know it’s a little later now, if you don’t want to call I understand.

12:24pm y/n: I’d love to still call you Josh. Do you wanna facetime or call?

12:26pm Josh: Facetime, I miss your pretty face.

Oh jeez.

As your phone begins to dial, you do a quick check to see if you look okay. Your hair was beginning to dry and slight curls were beginning to form. You click the green button at the top of the screen and are met with a white ceiling.

“Josh?”

“Hey, sorry I was just getting in some pants, not that me being pantless would bother you.” He says as he drags a towel over his wet hair.

You roll your eyes, “Yeah Josh I definitely wanna be staring at your dick all night, sounds like a blast.” You say dryly, but knew that it wouldn’t be an awful way to spend the night. “So how was your evening with your family?”

“It was alright. My dad’s friend isn’t as good as he said he was, but what else is new. My dad seemed to really like you though, and my horny brother.”

You laugh at his statement. “What is that supposed to mean Josh.”

“Well as soon as we left and my dad was out of earshot he was saying some… things about you. So if he adds you on anything, don't add him back.” You check your insta and long and behold you had a new follower, @samfkiszka.

“Don’t worry I won’t, I don’t go for polite men anyways, that's why I got with you.” You say in a snarky tone.

“I was very kind to you.” A moment of silence. “Okay I wasn’t in the beginning but I am now, plus what he was saying when you were not there was far from polite.”

“Like what Josh, It can’t be any worse than what a normal highschool senior says.”

“Well if I remember correctly, and I have a fantastic memory, it was along the lines of, ‘well I normally wouldn’t go after older women but I wouldn’t mind a little cougar action. I mean her ass was pouring out of those tight, little shorts. I wouldn’t mind hitting it from the back, you wouldn’t know of any tattoos she would have on her back would you Josh?’”

Your jaw drops, “Um, well that wasn’t what I was expecting. I’ll make sure to steer clear from him.”

“Yeah he also said ‘that's another perk of coming to Michigan, the hot chicks, like Miss. y/n over there.’ It made me jealous.”

Jealous. Hmmmm.

“Really, Josh Kiszka is getting jealous, I would have never thought you’d admit it.” You say cocking your head to the side.

“Well, I don’t think anyone would be fond of hearing their younger sibling say that type of shit. Jake is different because we're like the same person. But my younger brother, um no.” He giggles.

Him and Jake were very much, not the same person. In more aspects than one. “So why didn’t your mom come up?”

“She was busy with my sister tonight. I don’t know if I ever mentioned her. She’s the middle child of all of us. But she doesn’t go here, she goes to a smaller college up north.” ‘

“Makes sense. Maybe I’ll meet her at some point. “ You hint to him. He smiles, but then goes quiet.

“I don’t know if this is too forward, and you don’t have to answer. We have been getting closer as friends and I just wanna know you and everything but dont feel the need…”

“Josh, please just spit it out. I promise I won’t get offended. You called me a slut like every single day so it probably won’t be that bad.”

“Yeah sorry about that. I just wanted to know about your mom. Like I know your parents are divorced but like do you still see her? I couldn’t imagine not seeing my mom.”

You sit there pondering on how to respond. You don't want him to feel sorry for you like how everyone else does, but you wanted to be honest with him.

“No, we don’t talk. We haven’t talked since I was maybe… what, like 10 years old? I have kinda lost track over the years.” You prepare yourself for the pity and sappy sympathy.

“Man, that must suck. And if you don’t mind me asking, why did they divorce?” You’re taken back by his bluntness, but it's also a little refreshing.

“I mean, yeah, at first it did suck but I’m used to it now. My mom was an addict. My dad tried to get her help, but she just refused. She stopped taking care of herself, then me. It wasn’t good. My dad had to divorce her and then he took her to a facility. She was there for a while and then I heard from family that she was out but relapsed right away. So I don’t know the current situation.” It was silent for a little, which is the normal reaction to everything. “Sorry if you didn’t want to know all of that, I just felt comfortable telling you. I haven't really told anyone else other than my close friends, but telling you felt right. I'm sorry.”

“y/n stop, you should not be sorry. I’m glad you opened up to me, I feel closer to you, in a different way than I ever have.” It was cute watching him get like this. He was very empathetic, in the best way he could. You could tell that he was not the type of person to be open with his feelings, or discuss others. You see him open his mouth to say something else but decide not to.

“I don’t expect you to make a whole speech about how it was wrong and that you feel bad. I’ve heard it all my life from whoever found out, well about the divorce part, not the drug part. That's a whole different thing. But just don’t see me differently. I just wanted to share because you asked and I felt comfortable telling you.”

He nods to you, still with a concerned look on his face. “Thank you for sharing, I promise I will never tell anyone. It sounds like a lot, but you turned out to be a really good person. Your dad must have done a good job raising you.” You smile thinking about your dad.

He was a tall skinny guy, similar to the statue of Coraline's dad. He wore his rectangle framed glasses and had a really good personality despite working in the office everyday. He always told you that you are his whole world, and that no matter what happened in his life, it would always get better when he remembered you and how proud he is of his daughter. He is dating Celia, his girlfriend, who you grew fond of over the years. She acted as the mom you never had growing up later in life. When your dad found out that you were going to Michigan he was upset that he wouldn’t be able to see his ‘little girl’ everyday, but he was so proud of you for getting into an amazing school. He is your biggest supporter, and you truly wouldn’t be who you are today without him.

“He did an amazing job raising me. I miss him so much.” The conversation made you realize you haven’t called your dad in a week or two, you were definitely going to have to call him soon.

“I know I always made fun of you for your, um, sexual history and other things, but I truly always saw you as perfect. With singing, acting, your personality, everything. I’ve never met a person who was as perfect as you in any aspect.”

“Josh, that was really kind of you. Like seriously it’s nice being told I’m more than just a slut for once. Like I’m aware I’m not the most prude person, but I don’t really care that I sleep around either. Being called a slut is whatever from random people but it hurts when you would do it. Especially because I wanted you to like me.” You shyly look at your comforter and play with the fabric.

“Well knowing that now I won’t call you that anymore. I promise, other than if the moment calls for it.” You scrunch your eyebrows.

“What type of moment?”

“You knowing when we are fucking and your doing something whoreish. But I don’t actually mean that you're a slut, just an in the moment type thing.”

“I get it. It’s bold of you to say that we’ll be fucking in the future.” You give him a smirk

He tilts his head to the side, giving you a ‘are you serious’ type look.

“What?” You question louder to him.

“We’ve been horned up for each other the past couple weeks and we're finally hanging out tomorrow night. I mean I don’t wanna predict anything but…”

“Well personally I was just thinking about the amazing night we had planned. I never even considered it.” Giving him a sarcastic look and a grin looking at his perfect face. “Your eyes look really pretty right now Josh.”

His cheeks begin to turn pink. “Are you trying to butter me up or something?”

“No. What, I can't just compliment you?”

“No you can. I love when you compliment me mama, it makes me feel good.” He smiles at you. “And when you give me other types of compliments, well those make me feel really good.”

“Like what Josh?” You giggle at him, prodding for more information.

“I really love when you call me names, and talk me through everything. Just thinking about it makes me horny. I wish you were here right now. I’d make you feel so good.”

“You can make me feel good tomorrow.” You say what you were both thinking about, knowing it was inevitable for it to happen.

“Or we help each other out right now?” He says with a devious grin on his face.

“I can’t really suck you off through the phone Josh.”

“Just talk to me mama, tell me all the things you would do to me if I was there.” You watch as his grin widens, his sparkling straight teeth shining through his pouty lips.

“What are you gonna do Joshy?”

“Well I’m gonna jerk myself off, and you can touch yourself, if you want. I wanna hear your pretty moans, don’t hold back for me, yeah? I want you to talk me through it, can you do that for me mama?”

You were taken aback. You never really did this with anyone, but you were an adventurous person and would try everything at least once.

“I can do that for you Joshy. I wanna see your body though. Can you tilt it down so I can see that perfect body of yours.”

He smirks at the camera before tilting the camera down, showing his bare abs and pants.

“I know you like my body mama. I love the way you feel me up and down during practice. Gets me going so much. Wanna take you right there on stage, so everyone can see.” Josh says as he begins to palm himself through his pajama pants. “Are you home alone?”

“I am, so I can be as loud as I want. Am I gonna be able to hear you Joshy?”

“Not as much as you. Jake is home in the living room.” Throwing his head back, moaning from the friction.

“Are you gonna be quiet for me, be a good boy and moan so just I can hear you.” You say in a low tone.

“I’ll be quiet for you mama. Just loud enough for your ears to hear, they're only meant for you.”

“Pull your pants down Josh. I wanna see that beautiful cock of yours, I know it's already hard as a rock and I haven’t even said much of anything yet.” You say licking your lips slightly.

“Just because we haven’t done anything doesn’t mean I wasn't thinking about it. Although I didn’t like Sam saying it, I couldn’t help but keep myself distracted during that show.” He pulls his pants down, releasing his cock. “I wanna fuck you so hard from the back, right in front of the mirror in my room. So I can see how good you look taking my cock.”

“Fuck, Josh. C-can I touch myself? You’re in charge, baby. What do you want me to do, daddy?” You grab your tit through your shirt, supplying yourself with the smallest amount of pleasure to at least get some relief.

“Well I didn’t tell you to start grabbing your tits, are you gonna listen to me or do your own fucking thing you brat.” He says sternly, obviously taking the more dominant role and you were thoroughly enjoying it.

“I’m sorry baby, what do you want me to do, I’m your puppet.” You let go of your tit, and give him your biggest puppy dog eyes.

“Well first I want your phone propped up so I can see your whole body, then I want you stripped on the bed, nothing on. Once you're done, lean yourself against your headboard and spread your legs.”

You follow his directions, putting your phone against the blankets at the end of your bed and spreading your legs, being completely vulnerable to him.

He bites his tongue, smiling. “What a pretty pussy. Such a shame I’m going to destroy it tomorrow.”

Your mouth opens and eyebrows raise in shock.

“Better keep that mouth shut y/n, or else I’m gonna have to come over and skull fuck you.”

Your lips slowly morph into a smile, as your hand begins to slowly start sliding down your stomach.

“Did I tell you you could touch yourself yet?” You shake your head ‘no’ at him. “That’s what I fucking thought.” You remove your hand from your stomach, and give him a little pout. “Such a sad little baby, can’t even keep her pretty little hands off her wet cunt.”

He loves the power he has over you, polar opposite of the demeanor his brother had earlier today.

“Are you gonna be a good girl and listen, because if you keep doing your own thing I’ll just jerk myself off, looking at that perfect body of yours.” He begins to work on himself after spitting in his hand.

“Can I touch myself now, I promise I’ll listen to you.” You sit there leaning against the headboard. Arms by your side.

“I want you to play with your tits first, spit on your hand and massage them, and pinch your nipples nice and hard. I’ll tell you when I’ve seen enough.”

You bring your hand up to your mouth, spitting into it. You stare at Josh, fondling them softly. “I wish these were your hands Josh. Yours are so big, and soft, god I wish they were in me.” You whimper letting your head push against the headboard exposing your neck.

“Oh I’ve missed that beautiful neck of yours, it's so perfect. Such a shame it’s going to be all bruised after tomorrow.”

Your open mouth turned into a smile. “You can do whatever you want to me, I’ll never say no. Oh god Josh can I please touch my pussy, it’s aching for touch.”

He smirks before giving you an answer. “One finger, that's it. Your gonna finger fuck yourself until I say you can do anything else.”

You begin to slide your hand down your stomach again, leading all the way down to your slick entrance. As you slip your middle finger in you moan, probably a little more than you had to, but you wanted to play it up for Josh. Give him something to remember.

“You’re so fucking sexy, I love hearing your little noises. Let them all out for me mama, don’t hold back.” You watch as he begins stroking himself faster and harder. The slapping noises drifting through the screen.

“Let me see that throbbing tip Joshy, rub it for me.” You curl your finger up trying to hit your sensitive spot, letting out a very real moan.

“You’re such a dirty girl baby. You should just come over and suck my cock. I don’t care that Jake is here, he can be jealous knowing he’ll never get that from you.”

That's awkward.

“I wish I could come over too, maybe you should come here.” You wink. He stops for a moment.

“Really? Because I will, don’t test me.”

“I’m just joking, I wanna do this with you. Try something new.” You pump your fingers into yourself even quicker, trying to get yourself there.

“You’re a fucking tease, you bitch. I can’t wait to have you all to myself tomorrow. You won’t be able to tease me, unless you wanna get punished. You don’t want that to happen do you.” He says in a sultry tone.

“Like I said I’ll never say no, you can punish me if you want, I’ll enjoy it.” Continuing to finger yourself, but needed more friction.

You let the palm of your hand grind against your clit, not worrying about your finger inside of you.

“You won't be enjoying it when I do it sweetheart. You’ll be moaning in pain, I won't hold back. Who knew Miss y/n liked a little pain with her pleasure?” He says with heavy breathing. He looks at you and his demeanor changes. “Hey, did I say you can rub your clit yet. I can see you grinding against it. Do you think I’m a dumbass?”

“Yeah.” You say under your breath hoping he wouldn’t hear.

“That’s one for tomorrow, keep it up and you’ll get more strikes added.”

“Added to what.” You ask, your heart thumping with anticipation.

“You’ll see, keep questioning and it’ll be two. Now be a good girl and lick yourself off your finger, then you can start rubbing your clit.”

You pull your finger up to your mouth making sure he sees you suck hard on it.

“So she can listen to directions, that's my good girl. Now go ahead and rub that throbbing clit for me baby. I know you want it so badly.” He smirks, picking up the pace on his cock again, moaning very quietly to not disturb Jake.

It didn’t take long to feel close to your climax after all that dirty talk and fingering. You began to moan louder letting him know you were close.

“Don’t you dare cum y/n. I told you I would tell you when to cum, if you want to you have to beg baby.” His voice was shaky, you knew he wasn’t too far behind you.

“Please Joshy, I need this, I wanna cum to you. I wanna see your perfect face while I finish. And I wanna see you cum all over yourself like a little slut. Please Ja-osh just let me.” You almost slipped, but you knew he didn’t catch it. He was too busy jerking off to everything you just said.

“God you make me go crazy, cum with me baby I’m so close. Oh fuck..mmm.” With that Josh came all over his perfectly sculpted abs, making your stomach flip. With a few more circles you were done. The wave of pleasure washed over your body.

“Oh fuck Josh. God, I feel so fucking good.” You say catching your breath. You grab your phone from the end of the bed. Throwing your blanket over your body. “Are you gonna make me feel like that tomorrow?”

“Way better than that baby I promise.” He says while he gets up to clean himself off.

“Okay well I’ll see you tomorrow then, just let me know when you're gonna come get me.”

“Wait.. I was actually thinking. Could you just stay on call tonight? I haven’t been sleeping the best and ever since that night at my house I’ve been thinking about how easy it was to fall asleep. If you don’t want to I get it but…”

“Of course Josh, anything for you.” You turn off your light and crawl into bed, seeing him mimic your moves.

“Goodnight mama.”

“Goodnight Joshy.”

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@demonrat444 @gvfstuddedmajesty @jordie-gvf @jazzyfigz @slut4lando @gvfmarge @peaceloveunitygvf @jjwasneverhere @areuirish @mar-rein12 @woyayaofdreams @freyjalw @musicspeaks @jennabobenasblog @do-it-jakey-baby @dannys-dream

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hand-painted-5tars · 28 days

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Futaba: ["Hey Ren, can i jump in to play the newest Stardew valley patch at yours tomorrow. Ren: superb wow thank you, see ya 2morrow loser" ] sent 8:18pm Ren: [sounds ok] sent 8:19pm Futaba: [HA! mission success! ] sent 8:22pm (Futaba taught you how to play for hours + 3 profficiency + 2 kindness)

#cas doodles #persona 5 #stardew valley #futaba #joker #ren amamiya #my favourite siblings i will perish

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no-pilots-please · 2 years

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The Interruption

Part I: The Dry Spell

Part II: The Dinner Date

WARNINGS: Angst to fluff. Mentions of sex. Swearing. Mentions of death.

. . . .

Admiral Kasinsky had died. Unlike some of his colleagues at Top Gun, Hangman had been part of the Pacific fleet for quite some time. He had known the Admiral and worked under him for six years now, and felt the loss was a great man gone too soon. The funeral was on a Sunday. Hangman donned his dress whites. He stood at attention, saluted, and played his role as lieutenant.

The image of Maverick pinning wings into his coffin causes him to lose sleep.

In the following weeks, Hangman is angry. Too many thoughts about his career, his life, and his future swim through his head. Overshadowing them is the constant cloud of the mission. Cyclone tried to change the mission parameters, which Maverick took personally, and rightfully so. The grown men's egos went to battle. Maverick won-of course he did. Jake would never speak the words aloud, but Pete Mitchell was the best pilot he'd ever met. Better than him. Mav could make the run. Hangman knew he could make it too.

But that image of Maverick punching a pin into Iceman’s coffin jars his thoughts when he’s trying to focus. Iceman died a husband, father, hero, accomplished high ranking officer of the US Navy, a legend in his own right. But with that comes the sacrifices he asked his family to make, putting the job above them even when it was hard. At some point, he ranked out of flying and became the man giving the orders instead of taking them.

Maverick had been serving just as long as Iceman. He was dedicated heart and soul to flying, at the expense of everything else. No promotions, no wife, no children. Hell, not even a dog. Mav was married to aviation. No outside distractions existed. He was a man with the singular focus it took to be the absolute best. Period.

Did Hangman want to be Iceman, or Maverick? Did he even want to be either?

Why was it your voice in his head that seemed to ask him these questions?

. . . .

8:22pm on Wednesday. Your phone buzzes with a text from Hangman.

I'm coming over.

You looked at the work in front of you, then took a brief survey of how much more time you needed to get it done.

YOU: Not free tonight. Let's get together this week?

HANGMAN: I'm on my way.

YOU: I'm busy.

HANGMAN: Be there in 20

From your position at your desk-kitchen table workspace, you throw your phone against the couch and sigh in frustration. The past three weeks had been really fun, meeting for drinks or dates and hooking up whenever you got a free evening. You were having all sorts of very satisfying orgasms with the absurdly good looking pilot, but that's really all it was. As much as the pilot had begged for a continual ego-check on that Sunday night dinner, he didn't seem to be taking that seriously. Nothing seemed to get through as much as your take-charge moment that first night together. Was he even interested in keeping himself grounded? You had to wonder. So far he only responded when he was checked in the bedroom. Your frustration with his "me-first" attitude was coming to a head tonight. You were buried in work on a Wednesday night, desperately trying to make a deadline for the following day. There was no time for Hangman.

For a while, you ignored the buzzing of the phone against the sofa cushions. You could not ignore the heavy knock on your front door.

Rolling your eyes, you begrudgingly open the front door, one hand on your hip.

"I said it's not a good time, Jake."

"I need to talk to you." he interjects, suddenly standing up straight when you open the door. He's wearing gray sweatpants and a matching grey sweatshirt, military issue workout gear. You'd realized over the past few weeks he didn't have too many civilian clothes. He'd packed light. It was a constant reminder that his time here was temporary.

"You need to let me in-" his voice rings deeply, more urgent. The tone, you realized, is as rehearsed as the smirk he wears when he wants something. Part of the persona of Hangman the Pilot. It sets you off.

"First of all, asshole, this is my home. I don't take orders, you have no rank here. This isn't the Navy." Your own voice is stern. Steady, even, cold. You don't move.

"What could you possibly be busy with right now? Wait- is someone else here?" He asks, eyes narrowing. Jealousy rises in his throat, his eyes darting between you and the sliver of the home he can see inside.

"First off, its none of your fucking business why I can't be at your beck and call. Im not your girlfriend, Jake. And, even if I was, I wouldnt just drop everything at a moments notice. I've got a major deadline tomorrow and I'm behind. I don't have time tonight." You know you don't owe him an explanation, but you give him one anyway. His lips part, as if hung up on the next thing to say. The ego check he's been needing slips from you before you realize.

"You're not the only one with work stress."

As soon as the words leave your lips, you feel a little bad. Your work was very important to you, and very important to the company it was for. But it wasn't national security. It wasn't life and death. But for Jake, it's exactly what he needed to hear. It's as if you took the wind out of his sails. His shoulders soften and his he takes a deep breath.

"You're right. I'm not. I'm sorry." He says, stepping back towards the edge of your porch, hands in his pockets. He looks for a long moment at your scowling expression as you guard the door. Once again, the woman before him is not taking any of his shit and making it known loud and clear. The ego check he needs. A smile, the genuine one, plays slightly across his face. "See; this is why I like you."

You aren't letting him off that easy. He thinks hes having a moment of real feelings, but from where you stand it just looks like charm dialed up to 10. "What do you really want, Jake?" Your own posture softens, opening the door wider. He can see a stack of papers and the blue glow of your monitors at the kitchen table. It's a glimpse into your life, you as a person, that hits him square in the chest. You weren't just a woman who existed just to serve his needs. You existed in places that had nothing to do with him. You had your own challenges.

Suddenly, he thinks he should go.

You can see in his expression that he's wrestling with something.

"I just...I need to get out of my head. Today sucked. I thought-I hoped-you could distract me. I needed to get off base." Jake's voice is even, but there is unrest in the way he shrugs and shifts his weight from foot to foot. He gestures to the workspace behind you as he continues. "You've got your own things going on though, I see that. Sorry. I'll get going."

"Jake." You stop him as he sets foot down the steps. He glances over his shoulder, somehow looking incredibly handsome despite the harsh yellow light from your porch. It highlights the high points of his features and lights his green eyes.

"If--if you need to get out of 'the bubble', you can come in and just chill. So long as you don't distract me."

You've taken to calling the environment of Top Gun as a whole "the bubble". Those pilots were eat-sleep-breathing training and the mission. Hangman had said it was the best environment in the world for making the best on the planet. Why did he need to get out of there right now? Whatever it was, it couldn't be good.

"Yeah? I won't. I'll just watch some Netflix and veg on the couch. You wont even know I'm here. Promise."

He's impossible not to notice, you think. Somehow even the grey sweatsuit cannot hide the physique underneath. Even the bad lighting cannot undo his looks. But he wont get that ego boost from you, not after his outburst. "Okay. Come on in."

"Thank you, sweetheart." He reaches out to wrap you in a tight hug. It was uncharacteristic of your relationship so far. You were intimate, but you weren't really affectionate. Not the pair to hold hands or cuddle on the couch. Witty banter over drinks or dinner, and hot sex afterwards was more your speed. Something was not right.

Unfortunately, you didn't have the time to press. You gripped his back and returned the hug, and shut the door behind him. Jake shuffled off his shoes and flopped down on your couch with a heavy groan. You took back your seat at the makeshift desk and watched as he clicked through Netflix. Some Will Ferrell comedy flicks up on the screen as the pilot started half-watching and he scrolling through the phone. You placed your headphones in and continued to work, happy that Jake was again making good on his promise.

Over the next two hours you shared the space together, but separately. You were cranking through your work and putting the finishing touches on the deliverable. At some point, Jake helped himself to a seltzer from your fridge and politely interrupted you to ask if he could have some of the leftover pizza he saw in there. You nod and offer a slight smile, placing the headset back on and continuing to type away.

Jake goes onto your back porch to take a call. You can't help but notice how the warmth goes right out of your apartment. Working overtime hunched at your desk was way more enjoyable when he was sprawled out on your couch, laughing at the movie on TV. You were still sort of mad at him, intruding on you like your life wasn't as important as his was. But you knew something wasn't right and you couldn't help but worry about him.

You hit send on that final deliverable at 10:14pm. Jake was still outside on the phone. Peering through the glass of your patio door, you could see the pilot shaking his head, a solemn expression on his face. You made the decision not to disturb him. Padding towards the bathroom, you decided to settle in for the night. Brushing your teeth and washing your face, you wonder what has gotten the aviator so worked up.

His large frame appears in your bathroom doorway. "Hey." His voice is gravelly, tired.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah. I was on the phone with my cousin, talking through my existential crisis."

There it was, admission from Mr. CalmCoolCollected that something was deeply bothering him. You were glad that he got to talk to someone about it. But why did he come here?

"Okay." You say softly as you pat your face dry. Gently, you press the hot cloth to your eyes, tired and sore from straining at the monitor the past 14 hours.

"Look, I'm sorry about barging in on you like this. It wasn't right of me. I'm not your responsibility. I was just...I am having a hard time. I didn’t know what to do."

You nod at the pilot as he runs a hand through his hair, trying to sooth his own frustration. Looking into his eyes, you place a gentle hand to his shoulder.

"Thank you for apologizing. Do you want to talk about it? Is that why you came here?"

Eyes divert your gaze as he glances to your hand on his shoulder and then to the floor. You were being way too sweet to him after he was a complete ass. He shakes his head.

"No. Not tonight. I've burdened you enough with my shit today."

"Well, you're here now. We can talk if you want."

You're looking up at him, hair in a messy bun and not a stitch of makeup on your face, and he can't help but lift his gaze from the floor to you. Hangman fights the desire to wrap you in a tender embrace and just kiss you in the bathroom doorway, but he thinks better of it. Stuffing his hands into his pockets to give them something to do, he returns his gaze to the floor as he sidesteps to let you back into the hallway.

"I just...my contract is up next year. And I don't know what I'm going to do."

The words still you.

“Jake. You did not come over to my apartment demanding I drop everything because you aren’t sure what decision you are going to make in a year.”

“Yeah. Kinda. It’s just a lot.” Is all he can offer, suddenly embarrassed. It’s a rare emotion for the lieutenant.

Pivoting suddenly in the hallway, you reach out and lock your hand around his wrist. His eyes go wide but he obediently follows you the the apartment. Tugging him through the apartment, you take him to the living room and basically force him to sit on the couch. Taking a seat opposite him, you cross your legs and your arms.

“Don’t be all ‘oh, its not your problem’ because you came over to my place after I told you not to and made it my problem. You have my attention. Jake Seresin, talk.”

The blond leans back dramatically on your couch. You can’t help but admire the way even his neck is muscular and masculine, sexual even, as he throws his head against the back of the couch. The thought is not appropriate. He takes a deep sigh and just starts talking, jarring you from your thought.

“The admiral died.” he starts. As Jake continues, the thoughts tumble from his mouth as he sorts through everything in his brain. You pick out several gems like “I’m like, really good at the single life” “Maverick lives in a hanger, for gods sake.” and “I’m the only modern pilot to shoot down another plane.” Slowly, as the words pour out, they being to paint a picture of a man at a crossroads in his life. He was at the top of his game, the top of his career field among a bunch of other elites. What was next? He didn’t know, and it scared him. You could tell.

Jake continues prattling on, body animated as if working out the energy he’s been containing all week. Nodding as you listen, you move towards the kitchen and he follows, rambling along. You run the kettle and prepare two mug of warm tea. The aviator, leaning against your countertop, quiets as you hand him a mug of lavender chamomile tea.

“Just...drink. It’ll help you calm down.” You encourage him, as he raises the mug to his nose and inhales the scent.

“You’re really too nice to me, you know.” His smile crinkles his eyes softly. Damn, he was so handsome. Even at the edge of an existential crisis wearing grey sweatpants, you couldn’t help but admire the man in your living room. He seemed so comfortable here, and for a brief moment you imagine what it would be like waking up every morning to him here in your kitchen.

Don’t catch feelings.

“You’re lucky you’re cute, Seresin.” Is the best you can do, ignoring your better judgement to give him any complement.

He chuckles. Taking a long, calming sip of the tea, he looks at you. “Am I crazy?”

“I don’t know, Jake. I wish I could help but, I just don’t know anything about this.” What could you tell this man you’d only known three weeks? You had barely known him when he showed up on your front porch a few hours ago, but the last half hour or so of Jake spilling his thoughts and insecurities on your couch made you feel like you did. Gazing at him softly, you rub your eyes, fighting sleep that is creeping in.

“You did. Thank you.” Jake finishes his mug of tea and flashes a false grin into the bottom of the mug. “I should get going.” His voice is soft. Pushing himself off the counter, he starts towards the door.

“Stay.” Involuntarily, you take a step towards him. Its a response to him leaving, but part of you wonders if it’s a secret plea for more. You don’t want the warmth to go out of your apartment. “You shouldn’t be driving this late, you’re tired too.”

“Yeah? I’ve got to be up early.” Jake closes the gap from the door to the kitchen with soft footsteps until he is standing so close that you can feel the heat radiating off of him.

“That’s okay.” You nod, voice so soft its barely more than a whisper. You bridge the gap between the two of you, reaching your hand out to take his. “Lets go to bed.”

. . . .

Jake fell asleep with his arm draped across your side, almost spooning you. His touch spreads a warm, soft feeling through you. Sensations were completely different than the normal electric lust that coursed through you at every touch. Hangman was asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.

Nothing happened between the two of you that night. Everything happened between the two of you that night.

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