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princess-pill-enjoyer · 2 years

Text

Hi again

I'm back here way sooner than I expected honestly. I'll start off with uh the week did NOT go to plan whatsoever but I'm trying to not end of the world mode off any and all deviation from my original plan sooo I am mostly okay with that. Ish. For one, I came to my senses and decided against the mini origami as filling. It woulda been cute yeah but she is a massive hoarder when it comes to any sort of sentimental shit so was just imagining her tryna store all 80 trillion of em and I was just like... nah...... lets not. I just told her the truth in the small aggressive take-the-damn-gift note I left. Plus I didn't sit there and try to rush like I thought I would. I actually accidentally did my own thing day one then shit just kept happening and... I boohooed and slept most of the week ngl 💀💀💀

THO one thing that happened that was slightly out of my control was my aunt invite/dragging me out to this event thingy. I believe I told yall I went to pride with her earlier this year and had a good time and apparently I didn't ruin it for them! Tho it's kinda bittersweet cause of a lot just.. family shit I wish I was young enough to stay ignorant to still. It was easy to play dumb growing up but now that I am a lot more emotionally intelligent annnnd now hang around with her alot its putting me in this corner that I have no clue how I'm going to get out of.

Anyway that was not the introduction to something as it probably sounded assss I have not slept in two days and while I am weirdly alert for whatever reason I am sure ASFFF not finna stay up tryna write. I alwayssss do it oml until I feel satistfied I'll go on and on. Basically tho, I was saying the 14th as R's brithday is on the 18th and I wanted to make sure that it'd be nearly guaranteed to be there in time so the plan was sending it 4 days early so it'd more than likely be there the day before and I could just tell her not to open (ah tho.. Im honestly just hype to see her reaction I dont think I'd bother to make her wait). Tho the concoction my aunt had me on... had other plans. I lost another day of my work week on Saturday to go with her and oh my god.. Sunday was out the question too. I wasn't so much gone gone it was just a LOT. I already crying the night before so I took like 900 or so tryna force myself to sleep before only to find out calcium can effect that stuff...? I don't know I could not sleep for the life of me even when I laid there chilling for at least an hour and a half. So no sleep + nearly a gram and most of it still floating around asss I took it not too long before all this + FOR ONCE NOT WATERED DOWN ALCOHOL (ish it was this big ass can of black cherry something) so I actually felt something fr + walking around and lowkey sweating.. + her possessed weed had me like. DONE. DONE DONE. I wanted to go to bed the entiiiiiree time I was there as I was shleepy plus I'm guessing since I don't smoke too often but I have a really hard time processing whats going on when Im off her weed so even with it mostly cooled off by the time I went home I died on the spot. Then I woke up, ate.. then promptly died for another 6.

Sooooo I sent it today. Lowkey in a panic as atp nothing was going to plan and I literally hadn't sent anything in the mail in so long I was scared I'd do it all wrong. I knew I could ask but. I am a ball of anxiety. Didn't even think of it til I was tryna calm down on the way back.

Tho explain to me how even with me getting just plain ass priority mail as the box I had on deck was bootleg and me previously calculating this shit out on the website and having everything seeming fine and dandy.

Only to look at the receipt and see that it's gonna come the day before more than likely

Like.. how on earth.

2 days?? AND I DIDNT HAVE TO PAY EXTRA????

I hope it's right! That'd be so convenient dude now I know whenever I'm sending her shit I only gotta time it for two days before

Annnd I know I still said I owed an explanation for my absence and shit and I am still holding myself accountable on that. Cause I mean.. what's the point in going back on my word on that you know?

This was just a little mini something to make it clear I did not die or anything. Plus the draft I was writing before was so fucking bad. SO bad. I was goneee tryna write while I was crying and the tears made me already shitty spelling so bad.. But the little tangent I went on was kinda sweet honestly. I neveer really get to joke about my grades in school so it was nice that me just talking shit about an old situation got me out my funk for a little. I think you'd be able to tell kinda. Or maybe only I can since I can see specifics on it that others wouldn't notice. I dunno. But yeah 2 stories about my notable bad grades in highschool. Its a more personal one so I would not be offended if this is where you'll stop reading. Just wanted to say I'm alr.

My dumb stories about my grades

I used to be on a robotics team

No.. not battlebots.. 🥲

Twas a FRC robotics team. Which means nothing to anyone outside the community but for people that've done it know all the hassle with that shit. My team was particularly bad with that. I was on a relatively historic team, one of last original teams that were still active, a triple digit team (very rare now as team numbers are given numerically and I think frc has like 8-10k teams now) annnd we had a few duties on top of just building a robot. Was a very involved rookie, mostly there for scholarship opportunities but I made a few friends there that made me stick around and in turn made me pretty reliable.

Which.. ah. I wish I could go back honestly. One of the worst times of my life. It was fun here and there, but for the most part it was just a lot to constantly stress on. First off, one of the only black people on the team and I was one of the few girls ("girls" sob sob) on the team

Im now fluid and while it doesnt bother me that people have and still mostly perceive me as a woman, having my womanhood highlighted for some buzz word shit/girlboss nonsense is a giant pet peeve of mine. One of the main reasons I moved onto fluidness. It's hard to explain honestly. I feel like I am a woman in some aspects but I'd rather it not be acknowledged. The fluidness would be in like how little I want that piece of me acknowledged. Somedays I'm completely chill and you can call me ma'am and use she/her without me even noticing it really. But other days that shit. Stings. I'll go out my way to look more neutral and I hope that even for a second people question what to call me. She/her is still pretty whateverish but fem terms piss me off to an extreme. These days I try to stay Isolated for the most part cause it's so bad I'd be on the verge of tears/in a blind rage over someone simply calling me young lady. I fully acknowledge that part of it ain't cool so I'm trying to better about making preferred terms clear during that stuff and even with that I try to avoid talking so I don't even have the opportunity to be misgendered

But with that all being said... my womanhood being tokenized WITH my blackness?? Hell. Hellllllllll.

I at the time didn't recognize my fluidness but having those non woman days back then and still having to be the bubbly girl rookie for a good I think 20-25ish hours a week was a lot. I was a tryna be the bubbly girl everyone expected me to be while also being shoved into a leadership position because of that previously mentioned tokenization. Which was hard as is. I wish I could go back then and just show my dumbass what I am now. I'm sure I woulda quit on the spot annnd came to my spicy basics style that I am now :)

Ah but slight tangent. Anyway uh that all was going on but I actually had more there going on. Our team was also had a lot of cattiniess and fakeness going on. A longtime family of the team had previous issues with them shoving their kids to the center of attention with EVERYTHINGGG. It was extremely frustrating as they'd want them to be the leader of anything worth a damn. On one hand, made sense. They were very talented and they were experienced in a lot of the shit we were doing. However, it ain't exactly a great look to have the team be essentially these two and everyone else just being the help. Plus, one was a junior and we had a strict rule about no one coming back to be a mentor for at least 2 years after you graduated hs (cause of previous events/drama before my time there, lowkey think it's a massive mistake as most alumni build enough of a life outside of the team in the time to the point that they can't/won't come back 95% of the time) so once he left it'd leave a huge skill gap if we allowed it. That and, I won't lie, the boys were dicks when they got down to business (a weirdly common trait with future engineering/computer science majors for whatever reason). While even in the short time I knew them I could see it mostly being due to their parents treatment of them, it was not a common thing apparently.

I tried to stick up for them where I could and talk and scold them when I could see they were out of line. I'm not usually all that bold but. At that point I was there more than I was home so I got a lot more comfortable airing my opinions there. Welp. Sort of. Me doing that somehow someway turned me into the fucking teams therapist. It was okay at first when I was handling a pair of privileged but well meaning and confused boys and it was all of my own will. But that shit turned into EVERYONE coming to me for shit like that. I've heard damn near everyone's dirty secrets at that point

Shoot. Mentors going through divorce and fantasizing/crushing on other mentors, them same grown ass mentors coming to me to whine and ask about the boys, this one team member with a weird savior complex that led him to whine and throw tantrum after tantrum since he wasn't getting his way, meeting my ex best friend and dealing with her abusive mother and her various now very obvious bpd related relationship issues, met my ex through that and promptly got groomed...

That was on top of the already complicated duties of just being on the damn team anyway. We were there damn near everyday for at least 3 hours at a time, including over 12 hour days on Saturdays. I was being pulled in every direction. Every two seconds I was tending one issue or another. Either dealing with the two faced team that would talk all partnership and fairness at large meetings and gatherings but regularly talk shit about any and everyone on the team, running to the rescue of my ex best friend whether that was wiping her tears because of something her mom said or did or helping her get with whatever dude she was interested in at the time or listening to my ex's whining about whatever he was stressing on which was usually my ex best friend that he played being over but like 2 mo after he fucked me over claimed he was always in love with. Just a lot for a 15-16 y/o to be dealing with. Especially with me going from not having friends close enough to have issues like that to having EVERYONE seeing me as they damn bestie

Which led to me to severely neglect myself. I wasn't showering the way I should, I was constantly picking at my skin (mostly my face ngl) and I started cutting around this time. I was extremely suicidal as well but I knew if I killed myself at that time it'd be a massive inconvenience for everyone since they were all depending on me. I started talking to my ex all night and sleeping every other day to accommodate. I started to completely forget about school entirely.

My grades tanked by my standards. I usually keep mostly high A's with a few B's in classes that were less lenient with my forgetfulness when it came to homework. But I started going from that to mostly b's and a few a's. I was just exhausted. I was ripping and running almost everyday and it wasn't even at its peak

The second semester was a lot more hectic with robotics, we had competitions left and right which started making me behind in a few classes. We at first would just miss a friday here and there but then it started to be Thursdays and fridays. THEN a week for world champs which was AWFUL to catch up from. Most of the teachers did not care that we were dipping and just gave us the work and we were to have it done by like... either the day we came back or a few days after. It varied ofc and i cant remember specifics specifics but i know it wasnt that that lenient.

Plus heightened tensions with the team as it was build/comp season, it was bad. Constant drama. Constant. I couldn't escape it. Shit tankkkkkked my GPA. Even as the comps and shit slowed down it was still so much extra and around this time I was in the "talking stage" with my ex and I was sometimes going days and days not sleeping tryna talk with him, with a quick nap for the like hour and a half I was home before robotics..

I semi fixed it by the end of the year. Mostly anyway. My ex best friend had an incident that landed her in mental institutes a few diff times so I had one less client to worry about for a little while. Once she came back I think me and my ex started dating like 2 weeks before the seniors graduated and left which was like a month before the rest of us got out. All that going on made me semi relax and get my shit together

It was as fixed as it could be lmao. I think I had a single A and all the rest were B's with an exception of economics....

Most teachers just ain't say nothing when I'd set an old assignment somewhere. They'd grade jt and boom. That's that. The teachers that would notice notice I didn't even bother trying and I'd instead do the last few assignments to the best of my ability and make sure I'd ace or damn near ace every test and that month with me dating my ex but not seeing him at school made things a lot easier. I didn't think I really needed to like FIGHT to keep his attention as much so I was sleeping more often. Plus, drama teamwise got a lot better as most of the team graduated and we went back to the non comp season schedule so wayyyyyyy less meetings and shorter ones too. Overall more sleep and less stress so more focus on school

Man.. and side note why the first week I was with my ex my skin damm near completely cleared?? That shit makes me want to kms looking back that is NOT fair 😭

Anyway. Everything got a lot better and having an entire month to pretty much exclusively focus on school was great. It was bout 30ish of the workload so long as I wasn't doing absolutes nothing through the year I could get a decentish grade. Plus, my issue was never that I wasn't understanding or remember what they were teaching. I would wear an earbud and listen to music during class and the switching focus between that helped me remember stuff better as I wasn't daydreaming or thinking as much.

Sooo for most I was all good. The tests were good, sleep was good, some old assignments were put in and all my new ones were pretty much 85-100 everytime, and most tests were a breeze. The assignments definitely helped ofc but for most classes me having consistently great test scores kept me at a mid-high grade anyway so the assignments just leveled shit out.

ECONOMICS HOWEVER. Holy God bruh. THE SHIT WAS ASSSS. The teacher I got was notorious for her horrible teaching, to the point multiple seniors warned me to switch out of her class if I got her. But, my dumbass not understanding how to do that mess, I was too honest on why I wanted to switch classes and got sat down and denied. They told me they couldn't switch me for shit like that and they said she had a whole other teacher with her now so it should be better anyway

Wrong.

Horrible bruh. HORRIBLE. 99% of the tests were just shit from her PowerPoints which was only vaguely related to the textbook. The extra teacher did us a favor and pointed out to focus on the PowerPoints and that helped a TON on tests. I would for the most part get near perfect/perfect scores as I literally didn't even have to attempt to read or anything. It was usually line for line from the PowerPoint

But there was two issues with that model

One: the little workbook/packet we were supposed to be working through with each chapter were mostly textbook based. Which was kinds hard as you were teaching yourself for the most part with that mess as the PowerPoints explained everything completely differently from the textbook and had their own examples. I usually didn't even bother cause I'd either be lost at what I was doing or it'd be some shit like oh make a poem about this or draw this and I'm like what? Fuck that wth

But two is what did it. The seemingly standard of tests being worth more than assignments was the opposite in her class. So I could sit there and clearly show that I was paying attention and I understand the concepts she was teaching and still fail the course since I didn't do the petty activities she'd copy and paste from the textbooks

I tried to argue my point as I literally only got the d because of my nearly perfect test score on the final which SHOULD BE THE IMPORTANT THING as that shows I learned wth I needed to. But a combination of an already stubborn teacher, her weird beef with me that was ongoing that entire semester (didn't believe I was in robotics fr and also got confirmed as a racist a little while into my senior year which made a few more things click as well.. 💀💀💀) and her doubt that I even actually understood the material as if I cheated... when I was usually one of the first done with the damn test just led me to drop it and deal with it

I ended up retaking the class my senior year as our school had a grade replacement policy and a special class I took had me ahead with credits anyway. Oddly enough got the same teacher again which was odd... but got it in the same hour with my youngest sister (that I live with anyway). She didn't get the extra teacher this year as dude quit last year but it didn't end up mattering cause of the pandemic. Waaaaayyy less focus on textbooks period as they ain't wanna figure out how they were gonna deal with sanitizing em so she changed her assignments accordingly. She acted stupid and acted like she didn't remember me... while ofc remembering to mispronounce my name everytime she said it 🙃

It was soo petty lmfao. I didn't even realize she was doing it until my sister corrected her a few different times. The way she was saying it was pretty common so i usually don't bother to correct people if they use that name instead as I've grown so used to it its basically a second name atp. But my sister ofc ain't used to it so she'd correct her everytime she said it. To give her credit, pandemic made it where we were completely online on semester and the next we were in 2 days a week, but at the same point... cmon now. It ain't even that deep 😭

I think like a month into us being back semi in person she called somebody a nigger bruh.. not in our class or anything but nonetheless it happened. I didn't hear too much of the context but it happened in her 4th hour class annnd she babied them the entire year to keep em from getting her fired. Like deadass buying pizza for these mfs, skipping assignments, taking em outside and turning a blind eye to a few seniors dipping when they was out. The whooooole shebang bro. That shit instantly made so much small shit she was doing in my sophomore year make total sense. I shoulda aggravated her and got her exposed earlier bruh....

Now gym???

Dude can kiss my dick bruh man was out here tryna tell my big ass to run mostly 85-100 degree weather when I not only TOOK THAT SHIT IN MIDDLE SCHOOL SPECIFICALLY SO I WPULDNT NEED TO IN HIGH SCHOOL but it ain't count cause of differences in the districts/states requirements but also had that mess as a third hour class, which meant a whole nother hour of sitting there sweaty af in another class until lunch. If I woulda had it as a 4th hour class I woulda been chill on that as lunch meant I wasn't rushing to anywhere and I could prolly whole ass lunch period to wash up if I wanted to.

But 3rd???

Got me fucked bruh

I'm not gon sit there sweaty and gross and only get 15 mins to change and get to a class across the campus (open campus thing.. no hallways just a big ass field with buildings and stairs around for the actual classrooms. Semi makes sense but still the most backwards shit I've ever seen) ANNND sit there still sweaty and half dead in a whole diff class

Semester before I barely got a B cause it started cool down to junk like 60-75 which is wayyyyy more my speed and I could do more without sweating too bad. Tho I was one of the only ones that ain't run. I wouldn't do any more than like.. 20 sec bursts with a looooooong ass recovery time. So warmup running shit was 95% walking for me and the mile ain't even attempt. I got a cool 21 mins on that shir 💀💀💀

The semester after is where it came to a head. By April I abandoned even them few seconds of running as by that point we were LUCKY to get anything under 95 and I was done just being out there. Going from MI's prolly 75-80ish spring/early summr and it not even mattering as we'd be indoor with ac all day to whole fucking sports and shit outside.. hell nah

We FINALLY start coming inside to play instead like 2-3 weeks before we dipped for summer break cause it was consistently 100 degree weather and even mfs that lived in AZ all they lives was going through it. Sooo we did our thing, I still ain't run out of habit ofc ofc but I did semi well at volleyball and badminton so that wasn't too notable. Gave me a bit of a boost so I went from like.. lowish c to a mid c which was cool

Then. Oh my god. Bro. So I got a like. Prolly 60 on the mile. Got it on some technicality that I didn't know about so I was pretty shocked on that. Second semester tho it was like over 100 and he'd be out his mind asking ANYONE to run out there. So instead of letting everyone else run while I leisurely waik and call it a day, we instead did the pacer teat

Dude explained it all to us. Basically was like every one pacer thingy is one percent. So, you'd have to run 100 of em to get a perfect score. There were ofc, the few dudes acting like this was some alpha male contest and kept going past that to show out, plus get extra credit, only to be told that was never part of the plan and they did that for no reason 😵‍💫

Ah but rewind mb mb. Uh dude explained and I was like... oh shit. Yeah I'm failing tf out this. The highest I've EVER gotten was a 26 in like.. elementary school. Shit was like 3rd-4th grade and I had since gotten A. Lot older and less active and B. Fatter. I've been overweight but not morbidly so my entire life. I think I'm now barely plus size. Kinda varying on where I'm getting the shit I'm either on the very end of normal sizing or the very very beginning of plus sizing, 0x. Uh which is oddly hard to find

Ah tangent tangent anyway yeah. I'm sitting there like fuck yeah I'm failing th out this final. At my peak I would be getting a 25% and I knew damn sure I wasn't at my peak. So I start calculating it all out.... I'd have to get like 50-60ish laps to pass the class. I'm already coming to terms with it, thinking about taking a summer class for it and keeping it moving, when dude stopped me at the end of class and STRESSED that I ran. Which lowkey pisaed me off ngl... uh but I knew why he did so I tried to not be spiteful the day of

I was tryna be a good little student. Got a matcha latte (soy. Tastes better + I'm lactose intolerant 😮‍💨) before and everything, thinking the little bit of caffeine would help

Only to damn near puke when I was running....

I could literally feel the shit sloshing around as I was going and I was like okay. I might gon head and do it so I can get out this shit early. But then I was sitting there like. Damn. Sweaty. Puke covered. And my mom works as I'm at school so I'd have to either hope that she come get me or the more likely option is they gon send me to the nurse, have me change back to my normal shit, then go back to it. Which was like ???? Nah what fuck that

I got a fucking 7 on my final bruh

😭😭😭

Dude came up to me like bro wth. You can do more. And the combo of me already being annoyed of him steady going out his way to point me out and me genuinely feeling like shit, I was just kinda bluntly like, I feel sick and I'm not chancing having to call my out of work for me to shower. He argued a bit I kinda just blinked and repeated myself lmao

Ig he felt bad or he was done with my bs but he last second made it a thing that you could continue walking laps around for partial credit. Which me and a few other people did. Which took my shit to like. I think a 50. Not amazing but no summer school so I was content. I had a high d+ but our school for whatever reason did not do the -/+ system at all for final grades. So whether you got a 90 or 100, you got a 4.0 A. Which was cool on one hand as you had a tooooon of wiggle room with grades but it was horribleeee when it came to cases like mine

Deadass was like... .2% from a 2.0. Which was like. Bruh. If I woulda got a 1.7, prolly still woulda asked for the extra .2 but at the end of the day it wouldn'tve been that big of a deal if they said no. BUT A WHOLE GRADE POINT AVERAGE LOWER? No.

So I asked. I didn't make it a big deal at first as I've never had to ask that sort of thing and I thought my argument was pretty sensible as is. And to my shock he ain't even say nothing back. Dude just did the shit and kept it moving. I'm sure he was tired of my bum ass steady working his nerves but I was not complaining. Wrote him a whole thank you email and kept it moving B)

Mb bruh massive tangent I never get to talk about that stuff anymore and it was like I was reliving it all in my head for a second 😭

#misc #excessively long #update

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i-like-sparkly-things · 3 years

Text

Right in front of you

A Halstead!sister

Jay held a strong grip on your upper arm as he led you out to the school hall. "What the hell was that Y/N? Are you happy now? God.... I can't believe you cheated!" he sneered, "EYES UP HERE Y/N!! "

"I'm sorry" you sighed, locking eyes with Jay, silently praying that he would let this go. It was only one time anyway. It wasn't a big deal.

But he let out a hollow laugh, "Thirty percent, Y/N, THIRTY PERCENT. You're going to have to do better than a half-ass apology. What exactly are you sorry for? Huh? For cheating? Or being caught?"

Requested : Yes by @study-coffee-chicago : They found out she cheated on a test in high school...and Jay's the one who has to pick her up.

Warnings : angry!Jay (lots of it), alcohol, swearing, anxiety attacks

Note : I am so so so sorry this so longg 😭 I ended up so far away from the actual request kayela please don't block mee 😭 butt I've learned alot in writing abt active and passive voices and using more imagery Yayy!! I'm so glad that yall are ok with my grammar thank uu🥺

MASTERLIST HERE

The piles of homework and flashcards you needed to memorize had no end in sight, and now that Will was taking nightshifts along with his usual double shifts, and intelligence was tracking down an underground drug cartel, you spent most days alone, allowing your mind to engulf you.

Every time you sat down to study, you felt a striking pain in your chest. In mere seconds the air was sucked out of your lungs and you found yourself panting, desperate to get oxygen back into your body.

You would be surrounded by books and worksheets and you could swear the walls of your room were closing in towards you, trapping you in a sea of incomplete work.

You failed to follow the schedules and to do lists you had made for yourself. Staring at them, hoping the essays would write themselves.

All you needed, was a break. A moment to relax from anything and everything.

So when your best friend mentioned that her brother used to drink a little before he appeared for an exam, your mind was quick to catch on.

Last night you had borrowed a little bit of beer from Jay's stash of alcohol and took a few sips of it as you studied.

The more you drank, the less bitter it became. It was a weird, new sensation, but it worked nonetheless.

Except now, you were sitting in the girls bathroom at school, ramaging through your notes, trying to recollect what you had learned yesterday.

You saw what you had underlined and highlighted— names in pink and important dates in yellow—but your mind came up blank.

Flipping the pages you saw people in wigs, and castles burning to the ground —None of which you recognized.

A wave of anxiety rippled through you unable to comprehend your next thought —you were going to fail.

Your head was throbbing as you ran a hand down face, massaging your temples trying to calm yourself down.

You took out your water bottle that you had filled with beer and swallowed a few gulps, hoping that it would help you think straight.

You groaned, feeling the sting of alcohol at the back of your throat, popping some mints into your mouth, you ran towards the exam hall.

***

Your foot bounced on the polished wood floors as sweat pooled on your forehead.

You thought you were careful —only taking a peek from your friends answer sheet when Mrs.Ling's back was facing you.

Everything would have worked out if it wasn't for that kid sitting behind you. In a split second your teacher turned around, when he dropped his pen, to see you peering over your partner's desk.

Now you were sitting in the principles office praying that Jay wouldn't be the one picking you up.

You could already imagine his anger at you for pulling him away from his case, only to find you cheated.

Unfortunately luck was not on your side today.

You dare not look at Jay as he entered the office, letting out a huff as he sat down. You could feel the rage emitting him, tension filling the room, as he burned holes looking at you.

"I'll get straight to the point" Your principal started.

"Please" Jay growled, struggling to contain himself. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, when he got the call saying that you had cheated on your midterms.

You and Will were alike,at least he thought so, both good at science and math but weak at geography and history. Nonetheless you continued to secure good grades for the most part.

"Y/n here, was caught cheating from a classmates answer sheet. Our teacher caught her red handed. I truly did not expect this from you. These midterms cost thirty percent of your grade..... "

Pretty soon his voice was muffled like he was getting farther and farther away from you. His figure swayed in front of you as you squinted your eyes to keep him in the center of your vision.

" You are suspended, Mrs halstead"

Your eyes widened , your body choosing the perfect time to bring out what little beer you had taken when you heard those words, letting the alcohol mix with the adrenaline.

"WHAT??!! " Damn, alcohol really bought out your courage as Jay stared at you in shock at your audacity.

"Y/n, your lucky I'm letting you retake the exam. That's only because you've had a clean record so far. I strongly suggest you start preparing early Ms. halstead" your principal said in a firm but monotone voice that left you speechless.

Jay held a strong grip on your upper arm as he led you out to the school hall. "What the hell was that Y/N? Are you happy now? God.... I can't believe you cheated!" he sneered, "EYES UP HERE Y/N!! "

Oh god. Every now and then, the ground would sway beneath you, tiles shifting in your vision. But you counted your steps, carefully putting one foot in front of the other, not wanting Jay to find out what else you had done........ until now.

You tilted your head, only to be met with your brother's piercing stare but little did he know, now it made it infinitely harder to concentrate on your walking.

"I'm sorry" you sighed, locking eyes with Jay, silently praying that he would let this go. It was only one time anyway. It wasn't a big deal.

But he let out a hollow laugh, "Thirty percent, Y/N, THIRTY PERCENT. You're going to have to do better than a half-ass apology. What exactly are you sorry for? Huh? For cheating? *Or being caught?*"

***

You rested your head on the seat as Jay entered the truck, flinching, when he slammed the door shut. Your pounding headache was getting worse by the minute, as your ears started to ring.

You blinked a few times squinting to focus on the road ahead of you but the fast-moving cars and the loud horns made you feel like your head was going to explode.

"Y/n," he addressed you, much calmer now.

You forced yourself to turn to your brother, who wore a confused expression.

But the moment he saw your deshelfed hair and your cracked lips, a wave of worry crashed over him. What the hell?

The truck came to a stop at a red light and Jay immediately scanned you over "Y/n?" he grabbed your chin, his jaw dropping, as he came face to face with reality.

"Are you drunk!!?" he barked , steam basically pouring out of his ears.

But your pleading eyes and empty silence gave him the answer he needed. "Are you kidding me??" he snarled as he slammed the steering wheel.

Oh God no. A blinding pain ripped through your head when Jay's palms made contact with the hard plastic. You winched turning your head away from your furious brother, letting out a whimper.

Jay's eyes widened at the sound, his heart breaking, realizing the pain you were in.

If he was going to be mad at you or at least punish you, you needed to be sober.

He stepped on the pedal as the light turned green taking a few breaths, trying to calm himself down.

With the vice lords reclaiming their territory and selling uncut fentanyl, bodies were dropping all over the city most of them being kids.

Kids..... your age.

Every kid at the morgue, just reminded him of you. He saw parents sobbing, begging for their kids to come back but Jay new better. They were never going to come home. Ever.

So he made it a priority to catch these ruthless creatures. He made it a priority over his sleep, over nine hours shifts and unknown to him, over spending time with you.

"Hey , hey" he whispered, not wanting to hurt you again, "We'll talk about this later ok? for now...... just..... it's ok..... I've got you" here reached out his hand, the other still on the steering wheel, to slowly rub your back as you tried to breath through the pain.

" I got you"

***

Jay wrapped a hand around you allowing you to hold onto him for support.

Silently, he deposited you on the couch, laying you down. He knew that he wasn't in any state to talk to you. He needed to clear his mind from his racing thoughts and rueful images of dying teenagers.

His phone rang, indicating that the district was awaiting him. "Here" he reluctantly shook your shoulders "Y/n, I need to go ok? Will will be here soon"

***

Almost half an hour had passed and you were waiting for Will to get out of the shower. You'd heard Jay explain everything to him over the phone.

You thought about how disappointed he would be.

Will —being the nerd he was— always helped you with your projects and gave you pop quizzes during breakfast, before your exams. He taught you how to organize flashcards just like he did in med school.

Even through your blurry thoughts, the image of Will's betrayed face and embarrassed eyes, knowing you cheated, lingered on your mind.

Your body was all over the place. Tiny noises echoing through your ear. Your muscles simultaneously aching and loose.

You were shivering as you tried to curl up into a ball. Your body trying to hold what little heat it had within itself.

But nothing stopped your tears.

You felt water drops make their way down your cheeks forming small splotches of water on the cushion you laid your head on.

And you didn't bother to wipe them away.

Will more or less was in the same state you were in. There was a multi-vehicle accident on the highway and victims were piling in the ED. He was running from one treatment room to the other, waiting to get back home and crash.

Will walked over to you with a huge glass of water and an advil, gently nudging you to sit up.

Your head still pounded, your eyes zoning in and out of the figure in front of you "Y/n, here drink the whole glass and take this" Will soothed, placing the glass and the pill in your hand "I—I'm sorry" You whispered, distracting yourself from Will's eyes.

Will knew he should be angry. Just like Jay was but he couldn't bring himself to blaming you, not until he had the full story anyway.

You looked so petite on the enormous couch, your legs folded on top of each other, arms shaking as you drowned the glass of water along with the Advil.

Your red puffy eyes and tear strained cheeks,were a contrast from your usual self. or he thinks. He's been pretty busy lately, so he's not too sure. " We'll talk about it later. I'm not angry. I promise"

He assured and was about to head to bed himself when you grabbed his wrist.

If he wasn't angry at you then maybe— just maybe—he would help you.

"Stay" You pleaded , the word falling from your lips just as easily as it had, many, many times before.

And just like before, you were met with Will's soft brown eyes filled with sympathy, ready to help. Ready—to be by your side.

He's slowly nodded climbing onto the couch, next to you. He wrapped an arm around you and you nestled into him, laying your head on his chest.

You found some comfort as he embraced you, talking you under his arm and encompassing you in his warmth.

Holding on to him, you hoped that he would take your pain away, just like he did when you were little.

***

Will woke up to an uncomfortable feeling of something —or someone— tugging at his shirt.

He slowly opened his eyes allowing them to adjust to the light as he felt another a tug at his side. He looked over to you, but your eyes were shut, brimming with tears, your arm laid across his chest.

You were holding on to Will , using him as a lifeline, grounding you from the pain.

You felt a hand squeezing your own, stopping you from gripping the fabric "Y/n?" You opened your eyes to look up at will who had tears of his own, staring at the state you were in "it's okay, I'm here, I'm right here"

He encircles you, tighter than before, whispering soothing assurances into your hair.

***

With Will's help, the pain slowly subsides, allowing you access to your thoughts again.

You step out of the shower, into the living room and your eyes widen seeing Jay and Will sitting at the kitchen counter.

You didn't even hear Jay come in, but right now taking in his hardened glare, you didn't dare ask.

You knew what was coming and you didn't fight. You couldn't.

"So apparently we're cheating on our midterms now, huh?" Jay's calm voice made shivers run down your spine, starting to take rapid breaths.

"And apparently, someone thinks it's ok to steal alcohol from my stash" He gritted, never breaking I contact with you. "Do you think that's how the world works Y/n? DO YOU? BECAUSE LAST TIME I CHECKED YOU'RE STILL A FUCKING TEENAGER!!" He spat, his thoughts fuming towards your trembling body.

It was every dieing body flashing before his eyes, as the past months' agony slipped off his tongue.

"Jay" Will's voice was stern, giving a knowing look towards his younger brother and didn't bother to give Jay time to argue with him.

"Y/n, we need to know what's going on"

"With school, with tests with....... everything" he stated giving you a solemn look meaning every word he said, promising himself that he would do whatever it takes to figure out what had been going on.

You sucked in a breath weighing all your options. You didn't want them to think that you needed a babysitter or that you couldn't take care of yourself.

You knew that they had their own problems to worry about but you couldn't take it anymore.

You hated it.

The feeling of your lungs collapsing, struggling to find air for your body, your stress skyrocketing anytime you sat down to study, never getting any thing done.

All day long you would constantly tell yourself to do your work. Every spare second is spent in making a list of things you want to do but when it was time to actually do those things, your mind wandered and emptied.

You took another deep breath, looking up from your feet, your eyes meeting your brothers.

You spilled the past months events from how alone you were all the time and not being able to concentrate to how you ended up drunk at school and cheating on your midterms.

Tears rolled down your cheeks as you your hands trembled. You stood crying in the middle of the room until you felt a pair of arms around you.

Will placed his hand at the nape of your neck as he stroked your back with the other "Breathe Y/n, just Breathe" He slowly pulled away leading you to the couch.

God, how he wished he could turn back time. Then he'd been more vigilant to notice the changes that had come over you.

You felt the couch dip on both sides but you intently studied your fingers, fumbling with the hem of your shirt and wiped the tears off your face. They were mad. No, they were furious. You knew it.

But for some reason, they weren't showing it. Maybe they were waiting-

"We're not mad"

You without your head around to look at Jay, furrowing your eyebrows in disbelief. Jay? Not mad? HA.

"but I am disappointed though, but that's only because you didn't tell us......

but stealing alcohol was bad too" he added, earning him a glare from Will.

"Y/n, what Jay means is— we could've helped with school . Homework . Tests . Anything, you name it. We will help" he assured, "But how do we know you need help, if you don't tell us?"

You sighed, taking in the weird turn of events that had happened before you. You had wasted all this time, trying to figure out all your problems out, when the answer was right in front of you.

A mountain of guilt now sat on Jay's shoulders, weighing down on him, pushing him deeper into a wormhole of 'if's'.

Maybe if he'd just been a little more careful, this wouldn't have happened.

Maybe if he'd stop and listen to you once in a while, this wouldn't have happened.

While trying to save kids out on the street, he forgot to care for the kid at home. You were his sister, and yet, here you are in front of him, barely keeping yourself together.

But that would change. Right here. *Right now.*

"Y/n," Jay started "If you would have told us how alone and stressed you were feeling.....I would've taken some time off... Maybe we'd watch a movie or something. All you had to do was ask...... And we'll get you the help you need, y/n. You good with that?" he questioned, his anger and frustration dissipating.

You saw your brother, the workaholic detective, wanting to put his job aside, for you .

You were more important to him, than his job—You realized.

" Yea... Yeah, I am"

Will stood up and got another advil with another glass of water. "and maybe you wouldn't end up drunk and cheating on your test" he smirked, crouching in front of you.

"God, I didn't think it would hurt this bad. I am never drinking again!" you smiled , as you drowned the pill.

"See now that's what I like to hear!!" Jay exclaimed, wrapping his arms around you, squeezing you into his chest. You squirmed, trying to get out of his grip, laughing, when you were joined by Will.

You know what? Maybe, things are going to be okay? Ya know?

__________________________

Read more of my fics here!!

Tagging : @girlandthemoon @herecomesthewriterwitch @megaliciab @meyocoko @alkadri-layal

#jay halstead #will halstead #chicago pd #chicago med #jay halstead x sister!reader #halstead sister #halstead sister imagine #jay halstead one shot #will halstead oneshot #halstead brothers

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meltwonu · 4 years

Text

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 | [CHAPTER 4]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; masturbation, usage of toys, dirty talkin’, a bit of a filler chapter after last weeks hehe🍒 as always, thank you again for your continued support for cherry bomb 🥺💕 I'm actually not sure if next week’s chapter will go up on time due to my work schedule for next week but I'll be sure to keep y’all updated! if anything it’ll probably go up on saturday instead of friday... 😭😭 But anyway, have a good weekend yall! 💕💕💕 stay hydrated!!

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - ?

The weekend ends quicker than Seungcheol even notices and while he wakes up Monday morning already thinking about you and your show later in the evening; his face falters when he reads the message on your cam homepage.

‘Sorry everyone :( I think I caught a cold so I won’t be doing a show tonight… I promise I’ll make it up to you on Friday! In the meantime, I’ve uploaded some new pics in our members only room~ I hope it’ll tide you all over ‘til then! xx Cherry 🍒 ’

His first reaction is to immediately panic; reaching for his phone and texting you to get as much rest and sleep as possible. He makes a mental note to check in with you again later, finding that he’s already running late to get to work when he gets out of bed.

“Hey! Seungcheol-hyung!”

The said male turns around, placing the set of roller skates on the ground. “Yeah, what’s up?”

Jeongguk sits next to him on the wooden bench, legs stretched out as he passes Seungcheol an energy drink. “Nothin’, just wanted to say thanks for coming over on Saturday! We should try to do that again, except maybe we can go out for drinks or something? We can give it the good ‘ol college try, maybe bring home a girl, if you know what I mean~” Jeongguk wiggles his eyebrows at Seungcheol who rolls his eyes.

“Uh, I’m down for the drinking part but I think I’ll have to pass on the hookups.”

“Really? Why? Are you dating someone and you haven’t told me?”

Seungcheol thanks the gods that the roller rink is dimmed; neon lights and disco balls the only things keeping the entire place dimly lit when he blushes a deep crimson, face hot as he avoids the younger male’s gaze. “Nah, it’s just, I--I don’t think that’s really for me. I’m more of a, uh, relationship type of guy, y’know?” Also, I’m devoting my time and energy to someone already who isn’t really my girlfriend.

“Mm, makes sense!”

Jeongguk keeps Seungcheol company even on his break, the two chatting about various topics before he lets Seungcheol know his break is almost over.

“Hey, wait! Before you go…” Seungcheol is nervous for some reason, fingers gripping the suede of the rollerskate’s boot as he avoids eye contact again. “Um, this is gonna sound really weird but… Who’s ‘j__min’? I feel like I’ve seen that username before and it’s, uh, I’m just curious how you know them? Sorry if that’s weird, I just--I’ve been seeing them around pretty often.”

“Oh, that’s Jimin-hyung. He’s a friend of mine that games with me sometimes! I’ve never really met the dude in person before, but he seems nice.” Jeongguk nods, staring off into space. “He seems really busy all the time too. And he’s super active on social media, that’s probably where you’ve seen him.”

Seungcheol nods; the guy didn’t seem like any sort of immediate threat so he logs the information mentally for now. He’d just have to do some internet sleuthing himself when he got home.

“Oh, cool, okay! Thanks ‘Guk!”

Seungcheol groans after the seventh pair of skates he’s cleaned, standing up to stretch and reach for his phone in his pocket. He checks the notifications, noting that you hadn’t texted back or read his messages yet.

A frown paints his features knowing that you were sick, but he makes another mental note to finally buy you that sybian now that his most recent paycheck had come in with it’s overtime bonuses. There were only a few more days until Namjoon came back which meant his extra pays would be over, a sad sigh escaping his lips at the thought.

The day gruels on; Mondays were always the slowest days for the roller rink which meant Seungcheol spent most of the time cleaning skates and bumming snacks from the concession stand usually. He tries to not pry deeper into Jeongguk’s friends but the curiosity eats him alive so he makes an effort to stay away from the younger male for the rest of the day, this time.

Instead, he spends the day hiding in the employee break room any time he gets; only leaving when Yoongi decides to hide in there himself.

Your head feels like it’s going to spin off of your shoulders once you sit up in bed. The sun sits low in the horizon from what you can see through your bedroom window; noting that it must’ve been the late afternoon already.

You’d woken up with chills, head fuzzy when you’d sat up earlier in the morning. Knowing that you were at least somewhat sick, you quickly wrote up a little memo on your homepage letting your viewers know that there wouldn’t be a show later in the evening. Afterwards, you had quickly downed medicine before curling up under your sheets and going back to sleep. You’d vaguely been aware of your phone ringing on the nightstand next to your bed, but you prioritized sleeping instead, knowing that you had to get better before the weekend came.

You groan once you ease yourself off of your bed, dragging your feet as you make your way to the bathroom in hopes of a warm bath to make yourself feel better.

It’s almost 5PM which means it’s almost time for Seungcheol to finally go home. He checks his phone one more time before he pockets the device, putting away the last few pairs of rollerskates before he starts making his way towards the backroom.

“Hey! ‘Cheol-hyung, can you come over here!?” Jeongguk yells over the music, arms waving him down frantically before he clocks out.

Seungcheol walks over, noting an unknown male standing with him. “Yes? Did you need help?”

“This guy, sorry I forgot your name?” The male laughs, eyes forming crescents when he smiles brightly at Jeongguk. “It’s Seokmin.”

“Right, right. Seokmin is asking if we’re hiring?” Jeongguk ends with a head tilt, unsure of the answer himself.

Seungcheol bites the inside of his cheek. Technically yes, they were understaffed even with Namjoon around. But Namjoon was also technically the one in charge of overseeing hiring positions. And while they technically should’ve hired more staff, that also meant Seungcheol’s overtime bonuses would be cut anytime they actually had the appropriate amount of staff.

“Uhhhh… I--I don’t think so? I’m not the one in charge. Our manager that decides staff and hiring positions is out of town indefinitely so…” Seungcheol trails off, hoping Seokmin gets the hint.

“Ahh… Should I come back another time then?” Seungcheol nods, frowning slightly. “Sorry ‘bout that man. But hey, why don’t you leave your contact info so we can call you? So you don’t have to keep coming back.”

Seokmin nods, beaming at the older male.

“Sure, that’d be great! Thanks!”

Seungcheol only feels slightly bad when he gets home that night, praying karma doesn’t kick his ass later for lying.

On days when you cancel your show are the days Seungcheol realizes he needs more hobbies than watching your cam shows and gaming all night.

Not that it’s a bad thing, he thinks, just that he could supplement his life with more.

He places an order for a few cookbooks alongside the order for the sybian, soft chuckles spilling from his lips when he realizes what an odd array of things he’s ordered.

Seungcheol manages to fill his night with meaningless tasks; finally cleaning his PC and settling in to watch a movie while he polishes off an entire pizza. He checks his phone a few more times, noting no new messages and he wonders if you’re really okay. A lightbulb goes off in his head, power walking back to his PC as he opens a new browser.

He bites his lip, typing in ‘j__min’ in the search bar to see what comes up. By nature, the username is unfortunately a lot more common than he anticipates and he ends up rifling through a lot of dead ends before he comes upon the profile on the same camming website you used and an instagram that seemed to be updated fairly regularly.

“Let’s see…”

Your body feels hot all over. Pin pricks on your fingertips as a bead of sweat trickles down your temple.

Now, you didn’t feel sick, you just felt incredibly insatiable. Again.

You weren’t sure if it was because your body had adjusted to a certain schedule, but you can’t help the way you toss and turn in bed; thighs rubbing together in hopes of alleviating the growing wetness between them.

Checking the clock, you note it’s already 10PM, close to when you’d normally be doing your show. You sigh, pushing your sweaty hair out of your face as you reach for your phone on the nightstand. You immediately notice a few text messages from Seungcheol; frowning when you notice the text messages were from the morning.

cheollie ✨: hey, baby :( saw your note, i hope you’re okay.

cheollie ✨: make sure to drink a lot of water and take medicine!

cheollie ✨: don’t push yourself too hard either okay?

The messages end there and you pout, unsure what to even say now that it had been hours since he’d texted.

babygirl 🍒 : cheollie… i only saw ur msgs now 🥺

babygirl 🍒 : im sorryyyyy i was sleeping so long but i feel better now!!

Seungcheol closes all his browser tabs before he realizes it, a smile on his face when he sees you’ve responded.

‘That’s okay, I’m just glad you’re okay and feeling better. Promise me you drank tons of water?’

He feels giddy, palms sweaty as he grips his phone.

babygirl: mmhmm! i did… i don’t even feel sick anymore 🥺 but…

babygirl: dunno… i’m feeling needy again… i think my body is used to my usual schedule...

Seungcheol’s body thrums with newfound energy and arousal at your leading comments. He’s unsure of what to say next, fearing he was going to say too much. But his phone pings again, eyes quickly flitting over your messages.

babygirl 🍒 : if ur busy its okay but

babygirl 🍒 : do u think we could cam? just u and me?

babygirl 🍒 : only if ur free tho!!

His fingers are tingling when he sends his reply, making it short and sweet before he places his phone down and makes sure his PC is running smoothly.

‘Of course, you know I’m always here when you need me. :)’

It takes a few minutes for you and Seungcheol to set up your respective spaces and in the meantime, you grab your laptop, propping it open on the bed next to you as you lay in front of it. You had debated on using your better camera which you used for camming, but you didn’t want it to be set up like a cam show.

Instead, you wanted a more intimate and casual video call with Seungcheol, so you made sure your webcam worked fine as you placed it on the sheets.

‘Video Call Incoming…’

You can’t help the blush that coats your skin nor the lust that fills your body as soon as you accept his call; his somewhat blurry figure coming into view.

“Hey, sweetheart!” Seungcheol beams at you through the grainy camera and you already feel yourself clenching around emptiness, words caught in your throat at how handsome he was and how truly enticing his voice was. “H-hi!” Rubbing your thighs together, you peer at the camera shyly. “I--wow, the pictures really… You’re so much more handsome on v-video.” You giggle slightly, leaning in closer to your laptop to get a better view of the silvery-blue haired male.

Seungcheol’s deep laugh filters through the speakers and your toes curl against the sheets.

“You should see me in person, maybe I’ll look even better then.”

You don’t deny that one bit; your own hands already itching to touch yourself. “Oh? Is that an invitation~?”

Seungcheol’s eyes pierce the camera, licking his own lips as you watch him snake a hand down into his sweats.

“If you want it to be, sweetheart. But tell me about you, how are you feeling? Have you eaten already?”

Gulping, you watch as his hand seems to work slowly and out of view. “I--um, I feel b-better just… Dunno, guess my body’s just used to, um, y’know… A-and I haven’t really had much of an appetite...” You trail off, head still fuzzy from the cold medicines and now, Seungcheol.

In a roundabout way, it almost feels like you’re watching him do a show for you as you watch him slowly get off.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better, baby. But you know you should try to eat, okay? I don’t want you to get even sicker.” You nod, fingertips already at the edge of your sleep shorts.

“I--c-can I touch myself too?” Seungcheol laughs lightly, nodding as he tilts his head back. “Of course, you don’t need to ask me for permission, baby.”

You grin at him, sitting up as you reposition the laptop. Your hand slides underneath a pillow, grabbing the small bullet vibrator you kept there. “Do you always keep a toy handy?” His voice is airy, teasing in the way he asks.

“Mmhmm~ You never know when you’ll need it~” You sing-song, shimmying your sleep shorts and panties off before you spread your legs in front of the camera.

The air gets knocked out of Seungcheol the second you spread your legs for him and him alone and he can’t help but imagine all the things he wanted to do with you. He watches as you tease yourself, fingertips only grazing across the areas he knew you wanted to be touched the most.

“I can’t wait for us to finally fuckin’ meet.” He grits out.

A moan floats through the speakers of Seungcheol’s gaming PC, your saccharine voice music to his ears. “M-me too, wanna know what you’d do to me~” You giggle afterwards, pressing the vibrator to your clit as you spread your legs wider for him to see. Seungcheol’s hand around his cock tightens as he watches, an appreciative smirk on his face.

“Oh sweetheart, what wouldn’t I do to you.” You can’t help but slide your fingers through your wet folds listening to Seungcheol’s voice, whimpering when you finally slide a finger in. “Yeah? What would be the first thing? Tell me, ‘Cheollie~”

Even through the webcam quality, you can see the way Seungcheol’s eyes glaze over in complete pleasure. He licks his lips once, leaning in close so that you can hear him clearly.

“I know you probably think I’d get straight to the filthy shit, huh? Pin you to your bed and fuck you until you forget your own name or tie you up to the bedposts and make you beg for me to fuck you. But I wouldn’t. Because I wanna worship your fuckin’ body. I’d take it nice and slow with you, give you as many orgasms as you want.”

“F-fuck, Seungcheol, I–”

“You could use me for your pleasure, y’know? You deserve it. You’re such a good girl. I’d give you anything you fuckin’ want if you’d let me.”

Your choked moans have Seungcheol working his cock faster; nothing on his mind except for you and his impending orgasm. “Oh g-god, Seungcheol, I--fuck, yes, I want that~ I want you to--to make me cum as many times as I w-want!” You mewl, easily working in another finger as you pump the digits inside your pussy.

He smirks when he sees your grip on the vibrator loosening, knowing that you were already too lost in the pleasure to keep the toy on. “And I’d let you. Maybe I’d make you cum on my tongue first. Or would you want my fingers?”

“B-both! Puh--please…” You whine, legs threatening to clamp shut. You curl and scissor your fingers, thrusting them knuckle deep inside yourself as you chase the pleasure that overtakes your senses. “Please, ‘Cheol, tell me more~”

You watch through the camera as Seungcheol pushes his sweats down enough to get his cock into view; mouth watering as you watch it curve up to his lower abdomen.

“I know how much you love being doted on and being taken care of… So after I make you cum all fuckin’ night, you know I’d take care of you. Make sure you’re comfortable and cuddle with you when you’re tired.” His hips cant up into his closed palm, a soft groan on his lips. “And then when we wake up, I’ll eat you out. Nice and slow so you know it’d be worth it.”

Seungcheol smirks, smearing the precum all over his shaft. “But I also know you like it rough and you like being punished like a bad girl. You like the idea of being tied up and teased and being fucked nice and hard too. I could take it nice and slow, build up the pleasure for you. Or I can take it nice and slow and tease you, I’d make you sit on my cock ‘n make you wait for it ‘til you’re begging me. Or maybe you would want an audience? Let them see you fall apart on my cock when you’re desperate to cum.”

You press the vibrator against your clit again, Seungcheol’s name falling out of your mouth in a blubbering mess. “Oh--I--!!”

Your legs clamp shut, fingers halting their movements as you cum hard around your fingers. Seungcheol watches as your legs shake, his own hand running up and down his cock in quick motions as he chases his high too. You vaguely hear him groaning your name; the ringing in your ears overbearing as your orgasm continues to wash over you.

The sound of your quick and shallow breaths mix with Seungcheol’s over the speakers as the two of you catch your breath. You slip your fingers from inside of you, wincing when you turn off the toy and toss it to the side.

“Fuck, baby, I--”

“Y-yeah…” You quietly lick your fingers clean, knowing that Seungcheol’s watching. “I… that was the first time I… did that with s-someone…” You giggle tiredly, wiping the rest of your sticky fingers on your shirt.

“Really? Never?” Seungcheol’s surprised expression makes you giggle; his eyes round and mouth wide open as he leans closer to his webcam.

“Mmhmm! Just, y’know, it’s--it’s hard to get close to people sometimes…”

You had mentioned it off-handedly once while the two of you had been texting, that most of the dates you’d been on hated the fact that you cammed. There was always a possessive aura that was present and while Seungcheol would sometimes get a little jealous himself, he also knew it was your livelihood and how you supported yourself.

“Ah, yeah, I can understand.”

The two of you sit in a content silence, Seungcheol reaching for a few tissues to clean off the drying cum on his abdomen.

“Hey, ‘Cheol?”

“Yeah?” He peers up at the camera through his lashes, blinking rapidly as he watches you lay back down in front of your laptop.

“About what you said… earlier…” You pause, shyness overtaking once again. “I--Would you want to meet up? Like, for real? I mean--not--not like tomorrow or something but... Y’know, we can start planning?”

Any words that come after that turn into radio static in Seungcheol’s head and he can feel his pupils shaking, nervousness already bubbling up inside of him at the prospect of actually finally maybe getting to meet you.

“Seungcheol? ‘Cheollie? You okay?”

Fuck.

“Huh? Yeah, yeah! I’m cool, I’m good, sorry, that--that caught me off guard.”

He watches as you talk animatedly, mind already going a mile a minute as he thinks over everything that needed to be done before then.

“I’m really excited to meet you, ‘Cheollie!”

#cherrybomb!cheol #seungcheol smut #scoups smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #svt scenarios #svt imagines #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #scoups imagines #seungcheol imagines #scoups scenarios #seungcheol scenarios #scoups #seungcheol

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blueberrypossum · 3 years

Text

You are my weakness

Howdy yall!! I wanted to get this out for the Hollidays so that everyone got their daily dose of Leonard love (I can't get this man out of my head).

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️: There are swear words and little bit of adult content (such as making out and yearning)

I don't know if others are like me, but I love listening to music while reading fanfiction so here's a few songs I was listening to while writing

Hope you guys enjoy!

(BTW the word fat head is slang for stupid or foolish person, I just see Danny using slang and such)

Okay, that’s not how the conversation went, Mickey is lying to you!”

“That electric pole couldn’t lie to his worst enemy!”

“I guess you’re below that point then, aren’t ya?”

The orge yokai let out a bellowed laugh next to you and you couldn’t help but laugh along with him. You both were hanging out on his balcony, Danny, Mickey, and a few of your other friends were back inside; you all had a successful heist and were celebrating back at his and his gang’s place. You slightly move the mug in your hands, the hot chocolate slowly swallowing the marshmallows Mickey had placed in it.

With winter hitting the surface world, the Hidden City had gotten colder and some of the witches had cast a spell to let it snow, the fluffy little flurries covering the city in a thin blanket of white. You looked back over at Leonard and couldn’t suppress the smile that grew across your face. You’ve been friends with him and his gang for years, always working together to be known as some of the best thieves down in this golden city.

You brought your jacket close, well, Leonard’s jacket. Anytime you were cold and forgot to bring something warmer, you were always up to steal Leonard’s clothes. He never complained and never asked and you would make sure to leave it where you found it. You could hear the faint laughs of Danny, Mickey, and your friends inside, knowing that they were placing bets on the card game they were playing. As you took a sip of your drink, it was Leonard’s turn to watch you silently. He took in your red cheeks, how your fingers twitched against the warmth of your cup, and how the snow stuck to the top of your head like a crown.

It has been years; years of earning each other’s trust, months of becoming close friends, weeks of falling for you. He watched as you ran your fingers through your hair, the snowflakes that had settled melted or pushed away. Your arm was touching his and he tried his damn hardest to not let it show that it bothered him, how he wanted to lean into you, lean into your welcoming scent and breath you in instead of the icy wind.

You were so addictive and he hated it.

You let out another giggle and he gave you one of his side grins.

“What’s so funny?”

“I was just thinking about today. How Danny literally started to sing to the crowd while we made our escape, maybe he should join a band.”

“With that ugly mug? He would mostly likely have to be the drummer since people swoon over the singer, guitar player, and then the drummer.”

“Does that mean you get to be the guitar player since you play?”

“And leave Mickey to be the singer? I think we’re better off as thieves.”

You placed your hand over your mouth to hide your laughs as the jokes finally got to you, her body unwilling leaning against Leonard to hold you up as your body heaved up laughs. The tall yokai gladly took in your weight, your warmth spreading over him like wildfire and couldn’t help but let a light hue of red cover his face.

You were extremely close now, to the point that if you breathed the little ice cloud would cover his face. You were still letting out chuckles as you finally looked up at him, tears barely forming at the corners of your eyes, causing your eyes to sparkle like deep twilight. All titans above he has fallen for you, he has fallen so deep for you he was surprised he was still standing.

“Are you done laughing? I’m pretty sure the humans above heard you.”

You roll your eyes and set your mug over on the ledge of the railing, the steam of the hot beverage slowly dancing with the breeze.

“You know bad jokes are my weakness. Unlike you, I can actually admit to it.”

“I can totally admit my weaknesses.”

“Really? What’s your number one weakness then?”

This was it. This was the time to say his bloody feelings, to let you know that he thinks about you nonstop at random times of the day, how he makes sure that nothing hurts you during their heists, how he lays in his bed and thinks, just for a bloody second, what it would be like if you were there next to him. He could feel sweat start to build up on his body as the silence continued between you two. You were so genuine, loyal, funny, and your features could make anyone swoon.

His mouth opened up to say something, anything, until Mickey came crashing through the door. Leonard quickly moved over to where you and him were no longer touching and he moved his face to hide the blush that covered it. Heavy laughs and booing bursted out from the apartment as the cold air was let into the warm building.

“Y/N! Y/N! I need your help! Danny cannot beat my ass at this next game!” The eel yelled, his face warm with the booze mixed within his hot chocolate. He grabbed your arm and you let out a laugh as the eel basically fell onto you as he tried to drag you back into the apartment. Leonard gave Mickey an evil eye as he dragged you away, a low growl rumbling out of his throat as he turned back to the night sky, his beaten up fingers running through his hair. Maybe it was a sign, to either let you go or to go after you, he didn’t know.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

You had left the apartment after your friends left, and Leonard couldn’t help but stare at the front door. Mickey was passed out on the couch, clinging to his handful of cards he had from the final game and Danny was cleaning up the last of the mess.

The green yokai looked back at the balcony and saw that the snow was building up speed and little piles were being created.

“So, ya going after Y/N?”

Leonard instantly perked at the sound of your name and he quickly turned to Danny, who’s eyebrow was raised and a frown was crossed over his face.

“What the hell are you talkin about?”

The rat yokai let out a gust of air as he threw the last bit of trash into the trashcan and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Ya know that Y/N has fallen head over heels for ya, right? I knew that you were a fat head, but not that much.”

Leonard looked over to his side and his hands balled into fists, the emotions that raged inside of him were just too much, he had flings in the past, but he didn’t want that with you.You weren’t just going to be a fling. He wanted you. He needed you.

“What should I do, Dan?”

The tall rat was a little taken aback, never once in his life had he seen his friend so defeated, almost helpless, so desperate that he was asking for help. Danny looked around until his eyes landed on Leonard’s jacket, the one you had been wearing an hour ago.

He handed it over to Leonard.

“Go.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------

The alleyway was silent as you walked home, your hands stuffed into the pockets of your hoodie as you watched your small breaths create clouds in front of you. The last few hours flashed around in your head and your heart went weak at the sight of Leonard that jumped through your head. You wondered what he was going to say, you wondered if he was going to say anything at all, you wondered if he only saw you as a friend.

You heard hard and fast footsteps behind you and your hand was instantly out with a knife in your dominant hand, prepared for anything. You turned just in time to see who it was that was racing after you, almost trying to catch up.

“Leonard?”

The ogre yokai was out of breath by the time he got to you, his coat and jeans clinging onto him for dear life just like his hands were with his jacket. He took in several gulps of air and just when he thought he had gotten his breath back, it was taken away from him once again.

Snow was once again sprinkled onto your hair and even your eyelashes and your cheeks were clinging for any kind of heat. The city lights dusted you with a golden blur and in the silence he could hear and see your steady breathing from your chest.

Holy fuck you were exhilarant.

He was so distracted that he barely heard your voice against the pounding in his ears.

“What are you doing here? Did something happen?”

He looked down at you and then lower at his jacket, his fingers creating fingerprints due to the cold.

“You, uh, you forgot this,” he grunted and swiftly handed it to you. You took the jacket into your hands and gave him a frown.

“Len, this is your jacket.”

Shit shit!! What do I say? What do I do?

“Yeah, well, you wear it so much it might as well be yours,” he growled as he shoved his hands into his jean pockets, his eyes wandering around so he didn’t have to look at you.

You were still confused but put on the jacket anyway, the old scents that you had held dear hours ago flooded back with open arms. You could smell the sweat of the jacket, the adventure, the thrill of being Loathsome Leonard, you could smell his cologne that made him smell like a foggy pine forest with nothing left but moss covered stones and mysteries left unsolved.

“Thank you, but I’m guessing that's not why you are truly here,” you said with a light sigh, the chilly environment no longer bothering you. He watched as you brought the collar of the jacket closer and noticed how you smelled it and it made his throat and mouth dry.

“It’s hard to talk to you, you know that?” He huffed out as he scratched the back of his neck.

“I know, but you know it’s just me, right?”

Yeah. He knows it was just you, and that’s what made it unbearable to stand here and not kiss you, have you, to be yours.

He tried to think of something up, something cheesy and romantic like Danny, or truthful and spontaneous like Mickey, but if you liked that, you wouldn’t be hanging out around him, you wouldn’t want to be with him.

“Isn’t my weakness obvious, Y/N?”

Your frown only went deeper as your brain tried to think of what the hell he was talking about, and then the conversation came lashing back like a wip. You tilted your head at him and he rolled his eyes and looked at you again, but not at you, but the piece of clothing you were wearing. The jacket. The jacket you were wearing. You.

Oh.

All the blood in your body raced to your face and your hands were moving through your hair so fast that you were surprised that you weren’t bald yet. You tried to remain eye-contact with Leonard but it was almost like you were back in school, blushing and stuttering over a small crush. But this wasn’t a crush, this couldn’t be a crush, this was something fully developed, more well rounded and shaped, this wasn’t something you could just get over with.

The silence was almost too much for the yokai and for a split second he could feel fear and regret hit his gut like a punch, until your lips crashed into his like a freight train.

You were standing on the end of your toes and your hands were holding his face as you kissed him, praying to the titans above that you didn’t mess it up.

Leonard almost went dead within your hands as the heat from your lips traveled over to his, his hands had slipped out his pockets but they stood stiff near you as if afraid to touch you. For Leonard it felt as if the kiss lasted a few lifetimes full of adventure and heartache, but the kiss was short and simple.

You pulled back as you looked up at him with worried eyes. Maybe you had taken it too far, maybe you should’ve had him specify what he meant to double-check, or maybe just-

His lips were back on yours again, this time with meaning, this time with everything he fucking had. You instantly melted into the kiss and so did he, his hands holding onto your face, his thumb softly caressing the skin under it. That hand soon moved to behind your head as your hands went to his chest, your fingers gently holding onto his shirt. With his size and strength he was practically looming over you, consuming your scent, your passion, your taste. Your head started to dip as the kiss started to get heated, more meaning being pushed into it.

You barely had time to come up for air before he attacked your lips again and soon your back was against the wall of the alleyway and everything in your head was getting dizzy, all you knew was that Leonard smelled good, he felt good, and you’ve craved this for months.

Leonard couldn’t keep himself off of you, unless you said something, he was going to chase and explore this feeling you were giving him. His strong hands roamed your waist and couldn’t help but pin you against the brick wall of the alleyway. Your lips were soft, delicate, and your scent was practically calling his name, and your hands traveled up his chest and hooked around his neck and to all the higher beings above to say that you gave him a high was an understatement, because highs don’t last forever, but the love he felt for you would.

“Leonard,” you moaned into his mouth and he instantly slammed his hand up against the wall next to your head, his instincts going haywire within him.

He had never heard you say his name like that. He had only dreamt of it, only allowed his mind to wonder to you groaning and moaning his name during desperate times.

He growled into your mouth and it shook you to your very core to the point that it felt like you were sweating during the winter storm around you. You were able to get another breath before his lips once again found yours and he growled deep into your mouth. It’s almost like he knew you would go weak in the knees because he was holding onto you.

It felt as if he was made for loving you.

“Leonard.”

There it was again, the desperation, the thrill in your voice that was laced with need, you needed him, you wanted him. Another growl rippled from his throat as his kisses slowly trailed down your cheek, then jawline, and then your neck. You let out a gasp as his hands dipped under you and he lifted you up, pushing you more against the wall as he had full and utter control.

He took in your sensitive skin, the shiver that ran through your body, how his jacket looked on you. He couldn’t get enough, he could never get enough of you, he wanted this to last, to taste and savor every last second with you. But, when you said his name again, it was filled with panic.

“Leonard! The cops!”

The ogre yokai quickly turned over to the end of the alleyway; there were two cops standing there, flashing their flashlights down the dimly lit alleyway. As he questioned why the hell they would come down here and ruin his and yours night, he looked above your head to see the obvious No Loitering sign.

“Shit.”

He gently let you down and took your hand and headed in the opposite direction, the cops instantly spotting you two and gave chase. Of course, the cops wouldn’t do much to just two people loitering, but you both had just done a heist and you both knew that your faces would be plastered over every police station.

You and Leonard quickly darted into every alleyway, trying to find a building or area where you could stay hidden until the cops lost your trail. You couldn’t help but laugh as you both raced away from the cops, you felt like a kid again, running away from the cops for vandalizing or when you didn’t know how to hide from the law when you were younger.

Leonard heard your laughter and he rolled his eyes at you, once again laughing at the face of danger. But, you were his weakness, and he was glad of it.

#rottmnt #rottmnt loathsome leonard #loathsome leonard x reader #rottmnt loathsome leonard x reader #rottmnt mud dogs #rottmnt mud dogs x reader #Spotify

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iisuya-simps · 3 years

Text

Coffee shop au (Doppo x Reader)

A/N: decided to do a little scenario for the birthday boy Doppo! Hope yall enjoy :)

Word count: 1798

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You were a literature student at university. Every morning you see this man come into the coffee shop around 8 o clock. 'Poor thing, always looks so tired and rundown.'

One morning was particularly busy. You overheard his order from one of his many visits and decided to pay for it. He comes in an hour later frantically looking around, wondering if he should leave the line. One of the employees waves him down and gives him his order. That lady over there paid for your coffee. He looks completely baffled and turns to see you waving. He thanks the barista and walks to your table.

"Hi um, thanks for paying for my coffee miss." He scratches the back of his head nervously. "No problem. My name is Y/N by the way." You extend your hand to shake his. "Oh! I'm Doppo." "It was busy today and I figured you always look so busy." His eyes widened. "You can tell from just that huh?" You nod. "Well, it's true I don't have much time to myself outside of work..."

"What do you do? Oh, I'm a salaryman." "Ah, I see. Must be pretty tiresome work." "It would be alright if my boss didn't give me so much to do." His fists clenched. "Oh, I'm sorry for rambling." "It's alright." "I actually have to get going. I can already feel my work piling up." He shoots you a bemused grin.

"It was nice talking to you." "Would you have time to chat over coffee on the weekend? Seems like you have a lot more to say." "Maybe! Uh, I'll be back tomorrow." "Alright, see you." He waves and scurries out of the cafe. "What an odd guy. I hope he's not overdoing himself too hard..." You continue your writing.

The next day Doppo joins you for coffee. "So Mr. salaryman, how goes life?" You sit down at the same table you were at yesterday. "Oh uh, I'm kind of always on the go." "Do you have any hobbies?" "Well, I do have a few houseplants. I keep a bunch of cute little succulents around my place like a salad bowl, giant velvet rose, it's actually just a small one, and a tiny cactus-" He stops there because he feels the conversation dragging.

"What about friends?" "Hifumi has been my friend since elementary school. Despite everything, I'm glad he's still around." "That's nice to hear." You smile. "Oh! I've been so busy talking about myself I never asked about you." " Well, there's not much to know." "Nonsense, what do you do? I saw you with your laptop yesterday." "I'm a literature student at ___ University." "So you're a writer? That's pretty interesting."

Over the next few months, you became fast friends. Doppo would join you in the morning for coffee and a small chat then dash to work.

(Insert clever transition here)

"Doppooo." You call out to him and wave your hand in front of his face. "Doppo?" He snaps back into reality. "Hmm? What is it y/n?" "Are you alright?" "I'm f-fine. Why do you ask?" You shake your head. "It's ok to have a break every now and then y'know. You've been spacing out all day." "Yeah, sorry y/n. I guess I just have a lot on my mind." "Why don't we do something?"

"Would you like to go out? Hang out I mean! Somewhere else! Anywhere! You can choose!" "Hmm, I think a walk would do us both some good." "Uh yeah s-sure." Doppo sweats a little.

"Hey uh y/n, I'm not a very athletic person as you can probably tell..." "That's alright, It doesn't have to be a long one. Why don't we just walk down to the park at our own pace?" "Oh, o-ok sure."

Leaving the cafe you walk about 15 minutes to the nearest park and sit down on a nearby bench. You turn to face him. "I'm worried about you Doppo. Are you taking care of yourself?" "I'm just hanging on like I always do..." He gives a nervous chuckle. "You didn't answer my question." He hangs his head and sighs. "What's the point?" "The point is your wellbeing Doppo. Here." You pat your lap. "Just take a little rest. "N-no I shouldn't-" "I don't mind." Hesitantly he lays down on the bench and rests his head on your lap, blushing.

It didn't take long for him to immediately fall asleep on your lap. You laugh to yourself. 'He looks so peaceful like this, just like a cute little man child.' You carefully stroke his hair making sure not to wake him up. A small blush forming on your cheeks.

After a while, he awakes and rolls over. His sleepy teal-blue eyes meeting yours.

"Y-y/n!" He sits up abruptly, a bright red blush flooding his cheeks. "I-I'm so sorry! How long was I asleep?" "Not long, you could have napped longer if you wanted to. It looks like you needed the sleep." "Erm, yeah. thank you." His cheeks still burning red. "You can lay back down if you want. You still have a few hours before you have to go to work right?" He considers, thinking how comfortable your thighs were cradling his head. "I-I don't want to be a bother..." "Just lay on my shoulder then. We can both take a nap." "Okay."

Doppo leans on your shoulder and closes his eyes hoping that you didn't notice his quickening heartbeat. Resting your head on his crimson locks you close your eyes and fall asleep into a short slumber together.

t-t-t-transition---------

"What would you like to eat?" "Anything, I'm starving." You giggle. "I was going to make some omurice~" He visibly perks up. "I'd like that very much." "Omurice it is! Topped with some cilantro." You lick your lips. "U-um. No cilantro for me thank you..." he winced trying not to gag.

"Oh no, you have the cilantro hating gene, don't you?" "Yeah, it kinda tastes like soap." You dramatically toss your hand to your forehead. "That's so tragic. I wish your taste buds could appreciate the fresh springy sprigs that are cilantro. But alas! I'll just top it off with chives."

"Y-you can have cilantro! It's not a problem if you want to!" "I don't want to make you sick with the aroma." "I'll be fine as long as I don't eat it! Really!!" "Ok ok. I'll do both." "Do you want some help? Omurice is one of the only things I can make..." his head hangs a little. "Sure! I could always use some help chopping some veggies."

You were coming over to Doppos place every weekend now to make sure he was eating well and getting enough sleep.

After prepping the vegetables and cooking the rice, you dice up some chicken and mix in the vegetables and spices, also adding some ketchup. Then whisking an egg with a little milk you cook the omelette and add the chicken, veggies and rice. Folding the egg over you make a little ketchup smiley face with dimples on the side of his plate and top it off with some chives. Then do the same with yours.

"Here you go!" Doppo's eyes light up when you hand him the plate. "Waaaah, it looks so professional! Let's dig in!" You watch as he smiles while eating, savouring every bite. "Oh y/n this is so good." "Thank yourself, you helped make it too." You smile. "Yes but mine never tastes this good. It must be something you did!" "You'd be surprised what difference a little salt and pepper can make."

You both watched a show while eating, Doppo went back for seconds.

"Thank you for the delicious meal y/n. You've been doing a lot for me, I appreciate it." "Of course! I'll always try and be there for you when you need me." "Would you really?" Doppo's palms get sweaty as he turns to you with his head down. "Would it be so wrong to think that there's something between us? I-I know I'm a pessimist and an overall mess. You basically take care of me like I'm your kid- Oh, who am I kidding you don't want me... I'm a ball of anxiety and-" you put a finger to his lips and he blushes immediately.

"I like you too, Doppo." You smile. "Y-you do?" He sighs visibly relaxing. "I thought I really blew it there... but I'm glad you feel the same." You place your hand over his. "I care about you Doppo."

After a few more shows and an awkward silent stroll, Doppo walks you back over to your place and says goodnight.

"Thanks for everything y/n." Knowing he wouldn't be the one to make the first move (in this case anyway) you lean over and kiss him on the cheek. He looked so cute with his flustered expression and blushed cheeks. "Night Doppo."

When you lay down on your bed for the night your heart races and butterflies dance in your stomach. Then your phone pings from your nightstand.

"I had a really great time today! Not like I don't any other time! But today was special! The texts came flooding in one after the other. You beam and reply "Yes today was fun. Now please get some sleep. You need it." "I'll try!"

Epilogue I guess---------

Even though you move in with Doppo quite quickly it turns out to be the best thing for the both of you. He does his best to look out for you and you look out for him.

In the morning you both wake up, he boils water for coffee and you make breakfast. You'll still visit the coffee shop every now and then, but there's nothing quite like having breakfast in bed with your partner.

You always call him during lunch and inbetween to make sure he doesn't forget to eat. When he comes home he'll help you with meal prep if he's not too exhausted. Then you'll eat dinner in front of the tv and watch a show.

After dinner, you both wash and dry the dishes then sit down on the couch and cuddle. On a good day, you watch a few episodes of your favorite show together. But on an exhausting day, Doppo falls asleep within the first 10 minutes. But you don't mind. You simply flip the station and admire his sweet peaceful face as he lays his head on your shoulder.

If it's late you wake him up with head pats and guide him to bed in a half-asleep stupor joining him soon. When you're in bed he always has one arm around you. Usually, your back to his front or the both of you facing each other in an embrace until you wake and the cycle begins anew.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading!

#hypmic #hypnosis mic #doppo kannonzaka #doppo x reader #matenrou #happy birthday doppo #sweet sleepy child #i love cilantro #do yall read tags at all?#am I talking to no one?#just wondering

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wandasallerdyce · 4 years

Text

Vacation - Clint Barton x M! Avenger! Reader

Pairing: Clint Barton x M!Reader

Fandom: Avengers Assemble (tv show; Marvel)

Plot: Clints plan may or may not go as accordingly

Requested: yes/no

Warning(s): mention of smut, slight cursing

Notes: oH MY GOD THIS SHOW IS AMAZING AND SO UNDERATED BUT IT REALLY MADE ME SIMP FOR THE CHARACTERS LIKE HOLY FUCK. ANYWAYS I HOPE YALL ENJOY. ALSO, THIS WASNT IN MY PLANS BUT SINCE ITS MY BIRTHDAY WEEKEND I WANTED TO REWARD YALL

(GIF is not mine)

When you had asked Clint to go on vacation with you, this is not what you had in mind. Yes, you both planned to go on a trip to the Bora Bora Islands, but you guys did not plan on the rest of the team to join you guys. Clint was mad when he found out the team would be joining you guys but you were able to calm him down before he yelled at the team. Both of you were used to always being alone on vacations, especially since you guys would go at it like rabbits all over the hotel room and there was no one to interrupt you guys.

But now, you guys had to remain in control of both of your guys’ lust. It was easy for you, but Clint on the other hand was a whole different case. It took time for him to get used to it, but eventually he got around to it. Anyways, you and the team decided to go for a swim. It wasn’t everyday you got a break. Being an Avenger was hard work. You were a skilled combatant, great at flexibility and a master of different weapons. When you guys got to the beach, Steve, Tony and Sam instantly jumped into the water.

Meanwhile, you, Clint, Natasha and Scott started a volleyball game. You and Clint versus the two redheads. Hulk and Thor where on referee and cheerleading duty. “Oh come on Barton! No fair!” Scott exclaimed as he failed to hit the ball since Clint would always make it unreachable for him. Clint simply just laughed at him. “Calm down Hawkeye, let the man hit it.” You said while trying to hold in your laughter. You couldn’t lie, it was pretty funny to watch.

You turned around and looked at Natasha who was also trying to hold in a laugh as Scott fell on the sand. “Don’t give up, Man of Ants! I believe in you!” Exclaimed Thor, trying his best to cheer on Scott. This kept going on until eventually Nat got annoyed. “Alright boys, if you guys are done, me and (y/n) would actually like to play.” Natasha said with a hint of annoyance in her voice. Eventually, both of the teams ended up in a tie. The sun was going down, so you and Clint decided to have some alone time and take a walk.

Clint wondered how he got so lucky. When you guys met, both of you actually hated each other. You despised his cocky attitude and he hated that you were so nice and forgiving since he didn’t believe that was who you truly were. When you guys were forced to team up to take down Red Skull, you confided in him and told him why you really joined S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers, which made him open up to you about the circus. That was the first step in your guys’ relationship. When you guys confessed your feelings for each other, it was actually in a end of the world situation.

The fight against Thanos was starting to overwhelm all of you. You had various cuts on your body and cheek and a few tears in your suit. Clint stayed near you, making sure you were safe from the Titan’s wrath. You started to run out of ammo so you decided to just take down Thanos with your flexibility and skills all alone. As you started to reach him, he was able to grab a hold of you and started to choke you. You felt your air starting to run out and scratched at his arm with no use.

Next thing you know, your dropped onto the floor of the moon as Clint starts throwing punches at the Mad Titan. Thanos simply laughed and grabbed both of you, throwing you guys towards the watchers tower. You landed on Clint and just stayed there. Then, Clint starts talking to you. “Listen, (y/n), I’m being serious about this okay? This isn’t a game. I just wanted to tell you, that in case we don’t make it, um… ahhh… fuck it. I’m in love with you, (y/n) (l/n).” He told you, looking anywhere but your eyes. You simply responded by kissing him, finally hearing the words from him you wanted to hear for so long. He was surprised, but returned the kiss with more force. Eventually, you guys were able to bring down Thanos with the help of the Guardians of The Galaxy.

That brings you guys to the present. 4 years into your relationship, and things have only gotten better. Both of you share a room in the tower and are always together. Wherever you are, Clint is most definitely there with you also. Clint snapped out of his mind and stopped suddenly. You walked for a few more seconds until you realized he wasn’t following you. “Clint, honey, are you okay?” You asked with concern in your voice. Oh, how Clint loved the nicknames you gave him. You were the only one who was allowed to give him nicknames.

“Yeah, I was just thinking about the old times. Like when we met and stuff.” He said with a smile on his face. You smiled back and he swore he melted faster than ice cream. Your smile always radiated a certain type of happy. You turned to look at the sun setting and he immediately started sweating. He put his hand in his pocket, making sure the box was safe. He wanted to propose to you for a while, but he wasn’t sure if you would agree or not. ‘It’s now or never Barton, don’t be a chicken.’ He repeated in his head.

“Look Clint! The stars are about to show!” You exclaimed with such enthusiasm. You turned around and gasped, seeing as Clint was on one knee in the sand. “Listen, (y/n). I’m not good at speeches like Steve, but I’m going to try my best here. Basically, to put it short, I’m in love with you. I always have been. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You accepted me for who I was, even though you knew I was in the circus of crime. You didn’t judge me on my past, but on who I was now. I know I mess up sometimes, but your always there for me and help me back up. So, what do you say (y/n)? Want to become Mr. Barton with me? It’s totally okay if you say no I mean, I won’t be mad if y-“ You cut off his rambling by culling his cheeks.

“Clinton Francis Barton, how could I say no to you?” You said and leaned down to kiss him, your fingers entangling in his blonde hair. He relaxed into the kiss and synced both of your lips. Eventually both of you pulled back and he put the silver ring on your finger. It was simple, yet to you it was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. “I was on a budget. Sorry I couldn’t get you a ring you deserve.” Clint said sheepishly, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck. You simply smiled and said, “Anything you give me is beautiful Clint.”

He stood up and dusted himself off and wrapped his arm around your shoulder and walked both of you towards the rest of the team. “When we have our first kid, I’m definitely teaching them how to shoot an arrow.” Clint said confidently. You simply chuckled. “Careful Clint, or they’ll end up shooting you in the leg.” You said while trying to hold in your laughter. Clint instantly had a shock look to his face. “Yknow what? Maybe I won’t teach them how to shoot after all.” He said looking spooked. You simply just laughed while walking back.

You ended up getting a text from Natasha telling you guys they were in Stark’s room. When you guys walked in, it was utter chaos. They decided to have a fun idea to play Uno. Right now, Nat was in the lead with two cards left followed up my Sam with three cards. Steve was still trying to figure out how to play and Thor and Tony ended up getting ganged up on with +4’s. Hulk meanwhile was watching the tv paying no attention to the others. You both decided to play the notice game and cuddled up to each other on a chair. You kept guessing who would be the first to notice the ring. Eventually, as always, it was Tony who noticed.

“Where did that ring come from?!”

I actually had lots of fun writing this even tho it’s 1:30am lolol. Anyways I hoped y’all enjoyed and peace out. Love ya guys!!!

#male reader #x male reader #clint barton #clint barton x male reader #clint barton imagine #marvel imagine #marvel

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help-i-need-a-cool-username · 4 years

Text

JNPR berries Week 2020

Day 3: Semblance Swap

@jnprberriesweek

EDIT: im sorry yall i didnt post my edited one this one was just the notes for it but tumblr fought me so hard on posting anything at all (i have no idea why) so sorry looks like yall are just getting my notes (mostly in the top half. Its less notes as you go down)

Magic tech thing for training exercise

its a experiment

Partner swap only

Jaune and Pyrrha get stuck together

Every time Jaune activates Polarity everything comes to him like a magnet

Since still at Beacon Pyrrha doesn’t get Aura Amp

Pre-dating embarrassment at closeness

Nora can’t figure out how to activate Tranquility

Ren ends up using High Voltage on himself for too long and stops his heart/puts his heart in irregular rhythm

Ren gets rushed to the infirmary (which is a small on campus fully functional hospital) and Ozpin calls the experiment

Cute bedside stuff

Ren wakes up in a bed. Jaune has his IV/Finger Clip free hand between both of his, bent at the elbow, Jaune has his head against them. Ren can feel his lips move against the back of his hand every time Jaune talks. Pyrrha on his other side, one hand on his shoulder the other running through his hair. Nora is pacing squeezing a stress ball. The doctors gave her one after she kept bending the metal chairs

Ren wakes up in the middle of the night. Pyrrha is sleeping on a cot. Jaune is on the ground beside her. Their armor in a pile. Nora climbed into bed with him, she left her blanket and pillow on the chairs she was using as a bed. She has a arm and leg thrown over him with her face on his shoulder. Ren struggles to get a arm under her and then lays it on her back. He’s watching her face when the doctor comes in. Him and Ren have a short, whispered convo

Discharge

When Ren wakes up again its almost lunch time, and Ruby is the only one in the room. The girls left to shower and when RWBY came in so Weiss could get checked for a concussion (she ran right into a wall yesterday and since aura was off during the swap they were worried about her) Jaune asked if she could sit with Ren while he went looking for a vending machine. RWBY wanted to see him anyways but since he was asleep Ruby was the only one who stayed

Jaune comes back with a gross half eaten vending machine burrito. He hears laughing and walks into Ren's curtain room to see Ruby sitting on the bed telling Ren about how Blake caught fire yesterday and the panic of trying to put her out

The nurse discharges Ren and Ruby runs off to tell RWBY the good news while Ren gets dressed

Ruby comes back so she can open doors for the boys because she wasn’t sure if Ren needed help walking. He doesn’t but let’s Jaune put a arm around him and pull him up anyways. He takes the opportunity to lean into Jaune as they walk.

They get to the stairwell and Ren is like guess the jig is up but then Jaune turns toward him and next thing he knows he’s being bridal carried up three flights of stairs and Jaune hasn’t even broken his convo with Ruby

Ren just turns and buries his head in Jaune's neck and hopes Ruby is to distracted to turn around and see how red he's turning. Jaune doesn’t stop when they get to their floor. In a attempt to regain composure he tries to focus on how Jaune smells. Jaune hasn’t bathed and he smells like sweat but Ren finds he actually likes it. He realizes he’s in to deep. Ruby unlocks their door for them before going back to the infirmary

Nora is asleep on her bed and Pyrrha is in the shower so Jaune quietly puts Ren down on Ren's bed before crouching down to take off Ren's shoes because of course he does and Ren tries not to go red again

Pyrrha comes out of the bathroom, gives Ren the biggest smile before powerwalking and hugging him gently but also aggressively peppering his face with kisses and he has to laugh at the juxtaposition of those actions. His eyes are closed because of Pyrrha's assault and he misses the fond looks Jaune and Pyrrha give him

Pyrrha makes Jaune go shower and forces Ren into laying down and pulls the covers over him despite his whisper protests. Pyrrha sits on the edge of the bed but leans down to hug him. She pushed her arms under his back and rests her head on the opposite shoulder. Ren rubs her lower back and focuses on the scent of her shampoo. Before sitting back up she says "we we're really scared about you Ren. Please just let us take care of you" before kissing his forehead and getting up to get him a glass of water

#jnprberriesweek #hinacu rwby #rwby #jnpr #jnprberriesweek 2020 #jnpr berries #polyam jnpr #poly jnpr #you have no idea how hard this was to get tumblr to post #jaune arc #nora valkyrie #pyrrha nikos #lie ren #rwby semblances #day 3

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wienerbarnes · 4 years

Text

Injury

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (Cheek to Cheek)

Word Count: 3,127

Warnings: Mentions of injuries, self-deprecation, Bucky cooking

A/N: yall wanted some extended stories of cheek to cheek so i will deliver as long as the ideas come :) also the gif has absolutely no correlation to the oneshot im just obsessed with the new content we got today LOL anywayyyy if yall have any requests for this pair lmk!

MAIN MASTERLIST | CHEEK TO CHEEK MASTERLIST

Bubbles and foam stick to the curves of his palms, both flesh and metal, as Bucky finishes washing his dishes from dinner. He’s gotten closer and closer to perfecting his bao buns; he only tore open one dumpling when twisting them closed and he remembered to oil the parchment paper that lined the bamboo steamer Sharon got him for his birthday.

He shuts the water off and moves to the left side of his sink to begin drying his now clean china. It’s been a peaceful night in his apartment. Alpine shared the seat with him on the couch while Bucky ate his dinner, hoping some pork would slip out of Bucky’s mouth so he could catch the treat. He started watching some cheesy rom-com before getting bored and just shutting off the television altogether, opting to play some music while he completed his chores instead.

Ella Fitzgerald’s voice fades out and Bucky waits for the small silence in between songs to end. The towel pauses on the plate for a moment as the beginning tunes of Cheek to Cheek echo in his apartment.

“Heaven, I’m in heaven…”

Bucky continues drying off his glass and remaining silverware as you flash in his mind. He hasn’t seen anything about you nor have you left him any other notes or clues since that day he saw you at the fresh market. He hopes you’re okay. Truly. You were thrown into a life you surely weren’t meant to live at such a young age, barely an adult, and then almost put to death for acting out due to trauma that was out of your control.

Almost immediately after Bucky puts the final dry glass in the cupboard, his ears perk up. He’s not entirely sure what the sound was; he pokes head out from the doorway of his kitchen to see a ball of white fluff still unmoving on his couch, the same position as he was ten minutes ago except tiny ears are standing tall and proud now.

Bucky glances at the windows that are visible and they all still have the lock in tact, the door is still locked as well. Bucky quickly examines the mental map in his head and realizes the only other spot having access to the alleyway next to the apartment building besides his living room windows is the large window in his bedroom. He steps back to the kitchen to grab ahold of one of the knives in the drawer.

As he slowly and silently creeps towards his slightly ajar bedroom door, his ears pick up another heartbeat. Quick, stressed beats hit his ears as he draws closer and closer to the door. He pushes the door open quickly to see his window still half open, lock broken and hanging on the sill, and his eyes meet your heaving frame on his carpeted bedroom floor.

Bucky lets out a sigh and tosses the knife onto his bed before crouching down to help you up.

“Geez, you couldn’t have left some sort of ominous note or another friendship bracelet before breaking into my place?” Bucky scolds as he rests his hands on the tops of your shoulders.

You flinch roughly and cough out a “Help,” that quickly catches Bucky’s attention. He’s able to twist your body slightly so your weight is on your bottom instead of your legs and his eyes immediately catch onto the deep gash along your ribs and the blood pouring around your hands. The blood is coming out of the cut so fast, Bucky can almost hear the gushes. Squirts of blood make there way out from in between your fingers and Bucky notices then just how pale you are.

He stands and runs to his bathroom to grab his spare bath towels along with a first aid kit. You blood ruins his fluffy white towels and soaks them almost instantly as he pops open the first aid kid and grabs the bottle to sterilize your wound along with a needle and surgical thread to stitch you up. It won’t be the best, but it’ll be enough until he can get you to a hospital.

“N-no hospital.” You whimper. Did I say that out loud?

“Stop talking. Ignore me, just-just stop talking and don’t move.” Bucky stutters and soaks the other towel in alcohol to replace the now blood soaked one.

This back and forth continues until the blood slows down enough for Bucky to get in there and cut away at your shirt to expose your rib area.

“Christ, were you mauled by a fucking bear?” Bucky mumbles. The cut is bad. Really bad. He’s sorry for the nasty scar that the combination of this cut and his horrible stitching skills are about to leave on your smooth skin.

“I-I saw it coming, too. I saw it, and I-I still c-came over here…” You trail off, voice ragged and wet. He spares a glance at your face; your skin is wet with a mixture of sweat and tears and your brows are turned upwards in both exhaustion and defeat.

“And-and then I noticed this was your building,” A deep breath, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I couldn’t go to a, to a hospital, I’m sorry,” You voice gets more and more panicked with what little energy you have left.

“Hey, relax, alright? I’m gonna fix it, I just need you to relax, okay? Just relax for me, doll.” Bucky reassures you as he threads the needle. This is gonna fucking suck, I’m so sorry.

Bucky plunges the needle through your skin at one end of the cut and you merely tense; he can tell you’re using everything within you to stay as still as possible.

The torture continues as Bucky tries to sew you up as quickly and delicately as possible. He finally finishes and goes to grab another towel to clean up any leftover blood that’s glued itself dry to your soft skin.

Bucky dabs gently at your skin and the color slowly comes back to your face. You’re staring straight at his ceiling, face seemingly emotionless, but he can sense the anger radiating off your body.

“You gonna tell me what happened?”

“Stupid Hydra cunts; what the fuck do you think happened?” You snap. The emotion finally comes out in your voice and he glances at you once more. Your eyes are more wet than usual and his heart breaks for you. God, let this fucking girl rest.

“They get away?”

“Fucking assholes.” You mumble to yourself, as though you didn’t hear him. Bucky watches a small tear exit through the corner of your eyes and he doesn’t need to ask you again to know that they did.

Bucky grabs your hands and pulls you up slowly as to not let you get lightheaded and his metal hand rises to push stray hairs out of your face. You flinch a little bit, but he continues anyway. Now that you’re sitting up on your own, he reaches his arms behind your head and pulls your hair into a loose ponytail with the hair-tie that’s stayed on his wrist even after his haircut.

He can feel you watching him with wide eyes, probably confused as to why he’s treating you with such caution and care when you’re a serial murderer and kidnapper wanted by the entire planet and you’ve just ruined his window and his carpet.

“I’ll give you some clothes to change into. When was the last time you ate?” Bucky whispers to you, voice remaining sweet and so, so, so gentle.

“What?” You ask, mouth twisting into a small, confused frown. Bucky scoffs and pulls you up by the tops of your arms and helps walk with you towards his bathroom. You lean against the wall and he disappears back into his bedroom and returns with a giant long sleeve shirt and soft pajama pants, a pair of socks rolled into a tight ball resting atop the stack of clothes. He rests the stack on the counter and says, “Holler if you need anything.” before closing the door behind him as he exits.

Bucky likes the modern look, that’s for sure. Simple, grey and white tones with pops of gold to highlight different spots of the bathroom.You don’t even know when it was the last time you were in a bathroom this nice looking. Definitely before Hydra, but everything good in your life was before Hydra.

You take a deep breath and remove your clothes before staring at your reflection in the mirror. Your hair, that you’ve dyed a muted purple since the last time you saw Bucky, is faded towards the tips and your dark brown roots have grown out to your ears. You observe the scars and dark freckles that decorate your skin, spending a few extra seconds the new one you’ve collected tonight.

You did this on purpose. You didn’t see you getting stabbed, but you saw Bucky getting stabbed tonight in his apartment. You don’t know why you traveled two hours into this part of New York to rescue him, or whatever it is you think you did tonight.

That was fucking stupid. You could’ve gotten yourself killed, or worse, caught. All for what, some fucking Avenger who showed you a little kindness while you were on death row? You’re so fucking dumb, you know that? You think you’re some big hero now or something? That this makes up for everything you’ve done? You’re no hero, you’re the farthest thing away from a hero. Who would even-

“Hey, you alright in there? You didn’t pass out on me did you?” Your self-deprecation is interrupted by a certain soldier’s deep voice coming through the door.

“Yea, I’m fine.” You reassure as you grab the clothes and begin pulling them on one by one.

When you exit the bathroom, you come face to face with the soldier himself. Noses are almost touching and you can smell the sweet and tangy scent of whatever he was cooking on his body. You can’t help but lick your lips at the delicious thought of something to eat and you notice his eyes flicker down to see your tongue poke out between your lips. His eyes meet yours again and he clears his throat before turning and returning back to the kitchen. You don’t waste time in following quickly behind.

…

Bucky slowly stirs the sweet and spicy sauce with the leftover pork from his bao. He didn’t have the patience to sit for an hour twist small dumpling balls, but the least he could do was warm up what remains of the meat. He also threw in a small bag of frozen vegetables in the microwave, which have about three more minutes to them. Sure, definitely not as good as fresh vegetables, but he doubts you’ll care, or even notice for that matter.

It’s when the microwave beeps that he realizes you’ve been in his bathroom for too long. Maybe your stitches popped. Maybe you passed out from what a shitty job he did on your cut. Maybe you’ve been bleeding out on his bathroom floor this entire time and he’s been too busy stirring pork to notice. Maybe you snuck back out the window. Maybe you snuck back out the window but didn’t jump right and now you’re more hurt on the ground of a dirty alleyway.

Bucky switches the heat off and goes to the bathroom to check on you.

As he nears the door he softly presses his ear against the wood and he relaxes when he can hear the rapid thump of your heart on the other side. He lifts his right middle finger knuckle to tap on the door, “Hey, you alright in there? You didn’t pass out on me did you?” Bucky teases, hoping to God that you didn’t.

“Yea, I’m fine.” Comes your voice through the door and Bucky lets out a breath of relief.

The door opens and he feels a bit of heat on the back of his neck at the sight of his oversized clothes on you. He sees the stretch of your collarbones above the large head hole of the shirt he gave you and he sees the tips of your now bright yellow painted toes poking out from the sweatpants you’re wearing, which can confidently assume have the waistband string tied incredibly tight to keep from slipping down. His eyes catch your tongue slip out to wet your lips and his throat is suddenly very dry. He clears it and looks back up at your eyes. Jesus, you’ve just been blatantly staring and checking her out for who knows how long, you creep. Bucky turns and returns back to the kitchen to prepare your bowl of pork and vegetables.

He’s never seen someone eat so much so fast. Shoveling food into your mouth, small dribbles of saliva leaking out of the corners every once in a while, your tastebuds overwhelmed by the amount of flavor. You’re on your third serving already, glass of water barely touched and you continue to eat and eat and eat.

When you finally put the last forkful of pork and vegetables in your mouth is when you finally reach for the water and gulp down almost the entire thing. Bucky would be lying if he said he wasn’t impressed. Reminds him of himself when he had his first real meal after Hydra.

Bucky smiles as you let out a loud burp and he reaches to take your bowl and silverware.

“Thanks, uh, for everything.” You say. Bucky looks over his shoulder from where he stands at the sink to see you looking at the ground.

“Don’t mention it. I, of all people, know what it’s like after, well, you know.” Bucky stumbles on his words.

“Yeah, well, it’s what I got to do, so,” You stand and he notices you look for anything you might’ve brought, even though you both know you had nothing on you.

“You goin’ somewhere? Got a place you’re staying at?” Bucky asks, shutting off the water and follows you as you pass through the living room and back into his bedroom.

“Is that a joke?”

You step back into the bathroom to grab your bloody clothes from the ground and you go back near the window to grab your shoes that you’re pretty sure flew off your feet when you flung yourself through Bucky’s window. Bucky’s hand stops your movement as it rests on your shoulder. He gently spins you around to face him.

“You nearly got yourself cut in half. With all the blood you lost, you should spend the night here.”

“Don’t you think it’s kinda dangerous to have two of America’s Most Wanted in the same apartment building?” You question, trying to find any excuse to get yourself out of here. You did what you wanted to here, even if it was stupid. Don’t go from stupid to moronic by getting comfortable. No matter how inviting those blue eyes are.

“Technically, I was pardoned by the government, so I'm no longer wanted. I can’t speak on your behalf though. But I’m sure two military trained killers can take care of themselves and each other.”

“You take the guest room and I’ll take the couch. I’ll lock up the bedroom in case those baddies come back ‘round here and I’ll fix up the lock tomorrow.” Bucky walks over to his closet door and slides it open to grab two fluffy blankets from the very top shelf above his rack of clothes.

He turns back to face you and stares at you until you finally drop your shoes back on the ground. He gives you a small smile before walking out of his bedroom. You hear him lock his bedroom door after you exit and stand awkwardly until he can show you where his guest bedroom is.

Bucky can’t help the grin that spreads across his face when he turns around to see you, looking so small in his oversized clothes, folding your hands together, looking around the room, waiting for him to finish up. He chews on his lip hard to make the smile go away as he steps forward and down the hall to the guest bedroom door. He opens it for you and lets you step inside and glance around the room.

He notices the way you look around the room, making a mental note of everything in it, what can be used as a weapon, what can’t, as well as your eyebrow twitch at the realization that there’s no windows and no other means of emergency escape except through the main door. He doesn’t say anything about it, though.

“I’ll, uh, be out in the living room, if you need anything. Uh, goodnight.” Bucky says awkwardly as you give him an equally awkward smile in return.

Sleep comes easy to you that night, but you’re sure it has nothing to do with the supersoldier cuddled up with a little white kitten in the living room outside your door.

…

Bucky wakes up later than usual the next morning. Small claws stretch across his large chest as a very hungry kitten is awake and upset that there’s no food automatically in his bowl that morning. Bucky rubs his hands roughly against his face before swinging his feet over the edge of the couch and standing up.

After peeling open a can of cat tuna and plopping it in Alpine’s cat dish, he leaves the now satisfied kitty to go see how you’re doing.

He gently knocks on the door and opts to slowly move it open when there’s no response. He opens it completely when he realizes the room is completely unoccupied. The bed is completely made and Bucky feels the sheets to feel them cold. He walks back across the apartment to his bedroom to see your shoes gone as well.

Bucky won’t lie and say he’s not at least a little bummed out. He was hoping you’d stay a bit longer. So that your wound can heal up, of course. He’s not sure if Hydra experimented on you to make you super but everyone needs some good rest every once in a while.

Bucky lets out a sigh before moving back into the kitchen to begin preparing his own breakfast.

“Hey, uh, Alexa? Can you shuffle my music library, please?” Bucky asks politely.

He watches the blue circle shift around before familiar trumpets begin to fill the room. Bucky rolls his eyes and breathes out a humorless laugh as he reaches into the cabinet by his legs to take out a pan.

“Heaven, I’m in heaven,”

“And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak…” Bucky sings along softly.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes oneshot #marvel #marvel fanfiction #mcu

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jawnjendes · 5 years

Text

you lost a part of your existence | shawn mendes

...in the war against yourself

chapter 9/?, university au, shawn x goth oc

AN: i hope this is as angsty as yall wanted. i read this way too many times to make sure its good n stuff. i hope it rly is. pls pls let me know what u think. blease.

masterlist | playlist

August 9

She never wanted him to stay asleep so bad in her life.

Shawn had an unexpected early start to the day. He got a call from his boss at six in the morning and had to deliver some massive flower arrangements to a wedding venue, even though he had the day off due to the birthday shenanigans that happened the night before. Still, he went and came back around noon, when Annalise was up and running. Shawn went down for a nap in the room, even more exhausted than normal.

Annalise was already on the couch, trying to enjoy her day off. She really didn’t want to catch up on the sleep she missed from helping Shawn through his nightmares all night. She knew she would have to stay awake now, knowing that he was inevitably going to fall into the dark place again. Annalise decided to catch up with Bella Santiago and her strange white background on YouTube. Naturally, remaining still on the couch for an extended period of time caused her to doze off.

Two things woke her up some time later. The first was a deep, uncomfortable pit in her stomach that really wanted to get out. She felt it in her throat, and she wiggled her toes to keep it at bay. Her mind began to race like it was second nature; What did I eat? What didn’t I eat? Did I have too much food last night or not enough? Do I have to cut pasta out of my diet now? Did I forget to eat with my birth control? Am I gonna vomit blood? Am I gonna end up in the hospital and have even more surgery? Am I gonna survive this?

The other thing was a distressed sound coming from the bedroom. Annalise tightly gripped the hem of her t-shirt, willing herself to not be sick on the couch. Every one of her senses were amped up in this state, so hearing short, little screams every few seconds only agitated her more. Why did this have to happen now?

“I’ll be just fine,” she whispered as she slowly moved to get up from the couch. “I’ll be just fine…”

Another yell came from the room, and she was not fine at all. As soon as she was on her feet, Annalise felt her stomach flip, and then she was running into the bedroom, where the closest bathroom was. Didn’t even look at Shawn’s convulsing body. Just went straight to the bathroom and slammed the door. She made it to the toilet in time, holding her hand over her still fragile incisions.

The real kicker? She heaved and retched and sobbed, but nothing came out. The horrid sensation of vomiting kept coming, but nothing was being ejected from her body. Annalise shook her head between upchucks, tears staining her cheeks. Why was this still happening?

Shawn woke up due to the loud slam, but his mind and body were still in the nightmare zone. His forehead was beaded with cold sweat, and his jaw was chattering uncontrollably. He could hear his own breathing directly in his ears, like some creepy form of ASMR. Not knowing what else to do, Shawn repeatedly smacked his cheeks like he was still trying to wake himself up. That awful retching could still be heard, his dreams were never this vivid. I’m safe. I’m alive. She’s safe. She’s alive.

Suddenly, he sat up, eyes frantically scanning the room. Who the hell is vomiting so loud? It's really fucking sunny today.

He wiped the sweat off his brow and then rubbed at his arms, wanting to jump out of his skin. He wanted this to be over already. He wanted to breathe again.

“Ann?” he called softly, his voice shaking. “Help me…”

Just as he said those words, he wanted to swallow them. Panicked as he was, Shawn was finally able to figure out that the vomiting sounds were from Ann. He scrambled out of bed and went to the bathroom door, anxiously jiggling the knob. It was locked, and it only sent another shot of fear through his chest. Not to mention, the vomiting sounds had stopped, and it was quiet for an uncomfortable amount of time.

“A-Ann?” Don’t do this, she needs you. “Ann, please…” Chill out, man.

Breathing short, Shawn slid down to his knees, leaning against the door. Tears blurred his vision as he stared at the crack at the bottom of the door. He saw a flash of blood seeping out of there from his dreams, and he punched the wall next to the doorway. He tried to find his way back to earth. He breathed the way the therapist told him to, he whispered the calming mantras, he pinched the pressure point in his hand. No matter what he did, he couldn’t shake this god awful feeling.

“Please, please…” he cried, weakly banging on the door. “Can’t breathe… Help me…”

Little did he know, Annalise was sitting on the other side of the door, knees to her chest. Now that she wasn’t distracted by her own shitty digestive tract, her mind spiraled even more. She knew she had to pull herself together long enough to help Shawn, but it never felt so impossible. How could she comfort him when she was the one who caused all this emotional turmoil? How could she break him and put him back together at the same time?

“I’m a strong lady, I’m a strong lady, I’m a strong lady,” she whispered between soft little sobs.

Why is this still happening to me? I want it to be over.

Present day.

Annalise felt an uncomfortable chill go down her spine as she recalled that afternoon. To think the following day, she proposed the idea of the separation. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Then again, she didn’t know it was going to blow up in her face like this.

She kept scrolling through Instagram as she sat on the floor in the corridor, just outside Shawn’s apartment. She looked at all the pictures and stories from his gig, and noticed how much he was glowing. When he was on stage, he was completely in his element. You wouldn’t be able to tell all the crap his girlfriend dumped on him.

It was almost midnight, and Shawn had told her he would be back by eleven thirty. This is what she gets for trusting men, she sits outside their homes looking fucking stupid. Annalise sighed and picked herself up off the floor just as she heard the staircase door open at the end of the corridor. It’s always right before she decides to leave.

Shawn was surprised to see her as he walked down the hall. He set down his guitar case when he reached the door, giving her a look. “You’re here.”

“I’ve been here for half an hour,” she told him, turning her phone over in her hand repeatedly.

“Sorry.” He pulled out his keys and unlocked the door. “Come on.”

The tension heightened tenfold as they entered the spacious apartment. Even when Shawn set his case aside to pick up Henry the cat from the kitchen counter, it never faltered. They went into the living room, where Shawn placed Henry on the giant cat condo in the corner by the screen door. That was new.

“You know I’m always honest with you,” he spoke, though he kept his back to Annalise, who had taken a seat on the couch.

“Yeah…” she trailed off, her stomach in knots. She watched him scratch Henry’s chin, wondering what the fuck was about to happen.

Shawn finally turned to her and sat on the other end of the L shaped couch. “So, you should know Alessia hit on me-”

“I know,” Annalise said coldly as she folded her arms. “I found out from her.”

Unfazed by the attitude, he continued. “No, I mean, she did it again a couple of days ago. And to be very real with you - apart from the gig I just performed - it was the highlight of my week.”

It was like being sucker punched with a frying pan. She had her mouth open like she wanted to say something, but everything she wanted to say was getting mushed up in one big angry ball.

“Now, before you freak out,” Shawn went on, “I’m telling you this so you know what exactly this separation is doing, and how bad I want it to end. I know we’re not broken up, and I will stay faithful to you, but I feel like I’m single.”

“That’s how you tell me you wanna be with me? By telling me you liked someone else’s flirting?” Annalise asked in disbelief. “So you don’t want me, you want someone.”

“I want you, Ann. And I want nothing more than to go back to the way we were.”

“You said you’re always honest.”

“I am. I don’t want to break up, but I don’t know if you feel the same way. How long more are you gonna keep this up? Everyone and their mother are fucking tired of this separation thing! I’m tired of the two week check ins, and I’m tired of wondering what you’re going to do next!”

Annalise scoffed. “You can’t still want to be with me knowing there’s other girls who want you.”

“It’s only one, Ann.”

“But you liked her advances.”

“Because the girl I love is pushing me away!” he snapped, now irritated.

She glared at him. Was that supposed to be charming? Was that supposed to reel her back in? Annalise sat up in her seat and leaned towards him. “A guy hit on me too, and you know what I did? I broke his fucking nose.”

Shawn put his hands up, confused. “You want me to break Alessia’s nose?”

“No, but I will if she-”

“Okay, okay! You’re going too far now.”

There was a pause. Annalise took a breath to cool herself down, but she still felt like she needed to yell. There was something on the tip of her tongue that she needed to talk about. She tried to remember, but the rumbling in her stomach made itself known.

Shawn noticed the sound and tilted his head. It threw him off so much he lost the angry tone. “Are… are you hungry?”

“It doesn’t matter,” she replied. “It’s after midnight, I can’t eat anyway.”

“When was the last time you ate?” he asked her.

“That’s not what we’re talking about right now.”

“You know you can’t be skipping meals.”

“Stop!” Annalise snapped, her throat suddenly tight and burning. “Don’t worry about me. Don’t scare yourself like that.”

Shawn gave her a look. Then he scooted a cushion closer. “I’m not scared.” When the silence threatened to persist, he asked, “Are you?”

Now she remembered what she wanted to talk about. She changed the subject. “You told Alessia about my health problems.”

The silence came back. Shawn looked down, trying to find the words to say. “If you heard the conversation we were having, you would understand why-”

“No,” she said firmly. “I could understand if it was just the hospital stay, but you told her everything. You told her about my anxiety with food, and you told her my calming mantra, and she threw it back in my face that night at the bar.”

“Okay, I didn’t know she would do that. If I had known, I wouldn’t have said anything at all.”

“You weren’t supposed to say anything to begin with! That wasn’t your thing to tell! I thought I could trust you, but you tell her my business and you let her stick around even though she clearly has feelings for you. How am I supposed to trust you?”

Shawn sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. He knew she had a point, but he was still frustrated. “I’m sorry I told Alessia, but she’s not a bad person. She had a lot to drink that night, I’m sure she didn’t mean it.”

Needless to say, it didn't do any good. Annalise felt herself go red in the face. “Why are you still defending her? Do you have feelings for her?”

“No!”

“So why have you been so quiet this week? You haven’t texted me at all.”

He chuckled, clearly annoyed. “Now you care about that?”

“Answer the question,” she deadpanned.

Shawn scooted a little closer and sighed. “You never answered my texts to begin with, so I stopped sending them. No use talking to a wall.”

That stung a little.

“So you do like her?” she asked.

“I told you no! How do you - Why -” Shawn cut himself off, rubbing his temples. He was really reaching his limit here.

And so was Annalise. “She hits on you, and brags about it to me. Even when I’m nice enough to give her my bed, she leaves so I don’t see her in the morning. That sounds like someone who’s hiding something!”

“Ann, she was embarrassed because she had too much to drink! Why do you always think everyone’s out to get you?” Shawn asked. Nearly there.

“She’s not out to get me, she clearly wants you! I’ve given her plenty of chances! I defended her in gaming club! I dragged her drunk ass back to campus! And then she goes and continues to flirt with you like she’s won you over! Did you even tell her to back off?”

“Of course I did!”

“You’re a liar!”

“And you’re fucking crazy!”

It was a split second of relief, allowing his pent up anger to truly seep out. But Shawn knew he said the wrong thing as soon as that second was over. He had never seen tears well up in her eyes so fast before. He wanted to take it back as soon as it came out, but Annalise was already standing up.

She decided, yeah, she is crazy. She didn’t choose it. She wasn’t always this way, but it’s how she is now. Her eyes looked down at the floor as the last words rang in her head. Heavy tears streamed down her face, but she didn’t even try to hide it.

Shawn stood up as well, much slower, watching her carefully. “Honey-”

“Don’t!” Annalise raised her voice. Her head shot up, a crazed look in her eyes. “You do not get to call me that! He doesn’t get to call me that, and she doesn’t-” She paused, her voice breaking.

“I’m sorry-” Shawn tried to say.

“That’s all I am to you, right? I’m just some crazy chick you’re seeing, huh?" Her eyes were furious, but so, so sad at the same time.

“No, of course not. It just slipped out, I-”

“If you let it slip, then you were thinking about it! You think I’m crazy too!”

“Ann, please…” Shawn reached his hand out, but she took a step back.

“I’ll break your nose too if I have to.”

"I didn't mean it!" he tried again. "I didn't… Ann, I'm so sorry!"

She shook her head as she went for the door. However, when she opened it, she was face to face with Stella and Camila. The two girls had matching smiles that quickly faded upon seeing a teary-eyed Annalise. She pushed past them and fled the vicinity before anyone could even blink.

The two girls looked back, watching Annalise go, and then they turn to Shawn, who looked quite defeated.

Shawn forgot why Stella and Camila were here, and he really didn't care anymore. He made quick strides to follow Ann, but the girls blocked the doorway.

"What did you do?" Stella harshly asked. "Why was Ann crying?"

"Stay calm," Camila said, rubbing her shoulder. "Seriously though, what happened?"

Shawn was still staring out the door, hoping Ann would come back. Forget how pissed off he was this last week, he needed to make this right. He never intended to make her cry and run away. "I don't have time to explain-"

"If you made her cry," Stella said, "she's not gonna fucking talk to you. So you better tell us what you fucking did."

"We're here to help," Camila reassured.

Shawn ran his fingers through his hair, pacing back towards the living room, and the girls followed. Henry jumped down from the condo and walked between his legs, leaving little tufts of orange fur on his jeans.

"Oh my god, he does have a cat," Stella mumbled. Then she spoke directly to Shawn. "You got about five minutes before my allergies start acting up."

"And another five before Brian and Connor get here with the masses," Camila added. "So you better get talking."

They all took a seat on the couch. Too many things have happened in this room. Shawn took a deep breath.

"It's like she wants me to be cheating on her," he said. "She'll pull something out of thin air and use it to prove something that's not even happening!"

Camila tilted her head. "That's… that's just crazy."

"She was irrational?" Stella asked. Her harsh and defensive demeanor seemed to change.

"That's the word I should have used," Shawn glumly replied. "I told her she was crazy, and that's when she left."

"Well, I'm sure she said things she didn't mean, too. Just let her simmer down," Camila told him.

Stella was frowning, still in thought. Surely the wife/roommate had to have some insight on this fuckery.

"Anything you wanna add?" Shawn asked her. "Because I really don't know what to do now. I've never seen her so angry before, I didn't think she could be set off like that."

"Okay so," she began, sitting on the edge of her seat, "I know I don't talk about her business, because she doesn't want me to-"

"So it's not just me!" Shawn interrupted. "Why does she do that, it's so frustrating! I want people to know who my girlfriend is but she makes it so hard!"

Stella raised an eyebrow. "She makes it hard because people are really goddamn nosy. The way she dresses alone causes strangers to ask really invasive questions, not to mention she is - or was - is... linked to the most popular guy on campus and that's given her attention she never wanted. Imagine if they knew she was on Prozac, which brings me to the theory I was going to make before I was interrupted."

"Sorry," Shawn mumbled.

"Like I was saying, it's her business, but her mental health is important. I could be wrong, but she might be off her meds."

The other two only stared. Could this really be the only explanation?

"How do you know?" Camila asked.

"I don't. But I always hear her pill bottle rattling in the morning," Stella explained. "And now that I think about it, I don't remember the last time I heard it."

"Is there a way you can find out?" Shawn asked. "Can you ask her?"

Stella chuckled in disbelief. "You really think she would answer honestly?"

"What about searching her room?" Camila suggested. "Like, when she's not there."

"Ooh, please?" Shawn put his hands together, looking at Stella. "I need to know if that's why she's so pissed at me!"

She gave him a look. "Dude, she's genuinely angry at you. I mean, you called her crazy. Why the hell would you do that? Besides, it's not that I'm worried about."

Shawn was about to ask to elaborate, but there was a knock on the door followed by several voices out in the corridor.

"I'll make it fast," Stella said. "You two should be close because of the hospital thing, but instead she's pushing you away. She's not excited for Halloween, I'm gonna have to force her into a costume. She skipped game club, and I haven't seen her do any school work lately. And I'm willing to be she's not doing so well at work either. The last time she was like this, she was going through that break up with that asshole Luca, and I know you're nothing like that guy."

______

taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @ilsolee @mendesromano @1-800-khalid-mendussy @kitykatnumber @strangerliaa @iloveshawnieboi @poppyshawn @shawnsunflower @shawnvvmendes @yourdeflightfullyleft @shawmndes @calyumthomas @havethetimeeofyourlifee @wronglanemendes @chillingbythesea @softmendesss @someoneunimportantxx

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes smut #shawn x goth gf #this was a lot of feeliios #for me kinda sorta #i got a drunk call while editing this n i still got it all up #so b l e a s e validate me

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darkangeldesignstudio · 5 years

Text

Mother’s Day

As promised, here is the final chapter of Mother’s Day. Thank you so much for all of your support and the love you’ve been giving me over the past few days. I started this fic thinking it would be just a short little fic for a challenge and it ended up being so much more. This is my first multi chapter fic and I was so worried nobody would like it, especially with the sensitive subject matter that it covered. It became a way for me to vent and let out some of the negativity in my life and I’ve heard nothing but great things and I really appreciate yall for it. So, here is the ending and I hope it lives up to yalls expectations. Happy Mothers Day everyone!!

Negan x Reader

Honestly, writing this story was hard. The angst was real and the PTSD was not fun to deal with, but I feel like sharing this story with you all has made me stronger in the long run and I hope you all enjoy it. Remember, if you are ever going through something like this or know someone who is, talk about it, ask for help and know in your heart that, no matter what happens. YOU ARE STRONG!!

Summary: When the world ended, you used it to escape a living hell. Later, found yourself a place to call home in Alexandria. You and your two children were welcomed into the community and you soon found a friend in the reformed soul of a prisoner named, Negan. Your relationship grows steadily over time and he becomes an irreplaceable part of your family, but when a nightmare from the past rears its ugly head, will your love be enough to keep you alive?

Warnings: Negan's foul language (as usual), implied smut, talks of mental and physical abuse towards children and women, threats of sexual assault, violence, and death.

Chapter 5

When you awoke, the first thing you noticed was the darkness outside and Negan sleeping with your hand gripped in his. The next was the pain in your shoulder, it was down to a dull ache, but it still hurt too much to move.

Shifting slightly, you touched Negan's face with your good hand. He woke slowly, undoubtedly drained from the day's events and you couldn't help but poke a bit of fun at him. “I missed the festival.”

At the sound of your voice, Negan shot up from the bed. His eyes were red rimmed and you immediately felt bad for teasing him when his voice wavered. “[Y/N]?”

Your eyes filled with tears, hearing the strongest man you knew break with the weight of his relief was enough to never make you doubt his feelings. He loved you, with his entire being he loved you and he had been scared that he was going to lose you. “I'm sorry, Negan. I love you so much and I'm so, so sorry that I scared you.”

Your body shook as he embraced you, running soothing hands down your spine. “Its okay baby. Don't cry. We're all fine, everything is fine. I love you, too. More than anything.”

You stayed like that for minutes, or hours, you weren't sure and neither of you were willing to move away from each other until you both felt calm again.

Pulling back slightly, you broke the silence first. “Where are the boys? They didn't see, did they?”

Negan looked at you and, seeing the fear in your eyes, immediately moved to calm them. “They are with Michonne and, no, they didn't see him.” He moved to sit on the edge of the bed next to you, looking down at his hands. “You have to understand, [Y/N], they didn't see him there, but....they saw you. Nik was distraught, Pat was angry, I had to tell them something. So, I told them the truth.”

Grabbing his hand again, you reassured him as best you could. “Negan, its okay...really. They wouldn't have accepted anything short of the truth in this case.” You leaned your head onto his shoulder. “Thank you, for taking care of them. They look up to you, you know. Lying to them probably would have landed you on Pat's shit list anyway.”

He chuckled at that and placed a kiss to the crown of your head. “He would have given me 'the look' like his momma does. The one that says, 'Don't bullshit me'.”

You looked up at him, smile wide and teasing. “Well, he did learn from the best.”

Kissing you softly, Negan chuckled when you huffed at him for stopping, giving him that very look. “That he did.”

Giggling softly at his antics you decided to use another look that your kids were great at, the “puppy dog eyes”. “Take me home, Negan. I would like to sleep in my own bed after this shitty ordeal.” And just to make sure it worked, you decided to appeal to his desires as well. “Come on handsome, you can rub my back.”

His eyes heated at the wink you shot him, no doubt shifting his mind to more pleasurable things before logic shook him out of his thoughts. “I'll ask the doc, but no fucking funny business tonight. You're still hurt.” When you looked about to protest, he glared at you. “You can't fucking tell me that your damned shoulder doesn't hurt right now. No. Funny. Business, [Y/N].”

Sighing, you admitted defeat with a roll of your eyes, but decided to tease him a bit anyway. “Yes, sir.”

The purr in your voice caused his eyes to heat again, but he stood up quickly when your giggle hit his ears. “Oh, you'll pay for that in time, doll. Stay there, I'll be right back.”

As he stalked from the room, you took note of the injuries you could feel, moving each arm and leg slightly to find any underlying pain that wasn't dulled by the pain meds they had given you. Finding only the ache in your shoulder and tenderness around your ribs, you gingerly made your way to your feet. It seemed you had avoided any serious injuries. For once, you thanked the universe that Bryan made it a habit of prolonging abuse by avoiding vital areas that would have easily taken you down. If he would have aimed for your head or throat, he could have easily knocked you out and taken you somewhere without anyone knowing what happened.

Negan returned moments later, a set of clothes in his hands and the all clear from the doctor. You were free to go home, but were to avoid straining your shoulder for the next few days and after helping you get dressed, Negan led you out the doors of the infirmary and towards home.

The boys were going to stay with Michonne tonight so you could rest. You were fine with that, they would be safe with her, and Judith would keep them distracted. Negan said as much, making you laugh and tease him about liking Michonne, which he vehemently denied.

By the time you reached the house, you were practically sleep walking. Negan took pity on you and carried you the last few feet, into the house, and up the stairs to your bedroom. Your sleepy smile made him chuckle as he undressed you to your skin and placed you into the center of the bed.

Yawning, you watched as he undressed quickly and got in bed as well. “I thought you said 'no funny business'.”

He rolled his eyes before kissing your forehead. “Can't blame a guy for hoping. I love you, now go to sleep.”

You laughed, curling into his side with your right arm draped upon his chest comfortably. “Okay, Negan. I love you, too.”

The next morning, you woke to a cold bed and found a note on Negan's pillow. He informed you that he had gone to get the boys from Michonne's and you were instructed to get dressed and come down for breakfast with everyone.

Confused as to what he meant by “everyone”, you got dressed in a tee shirt and sweats, donning a bra at the last minute. Just in case people were planning to flood your house to check on you.

Sure enough, when you descended the stairs, the sounds of multiple people was obvious and you were thankful for the foresight to put on that bra. Negan met you at the bottom step, smiling as he pulled you into a hug.

In order to avoid offending anyone, you questioned him quietly. “What's going on, Negan?”

He just laughed and led you forward into the living room. “See for yourself, babe.”

Immediately, you were greeted by cheers. “Happy Mother's Day!”

The boys ran to hug you, barely avoiding your injured arm in their rush. Judith and Michonne followed them, hugging you a bit more carefully. Others wished you well, offering hugs and happy words, thoroughly distracting you until Negan cleared his throat behind you. Everyone smiled, backing away a step as you turned to face the man you loved.

The shock you felt at seeing him down on one knee almost knocked you off your feet. “I had been planning to do this at the perfect moment, but after everything that happened, I realized that waiting was one of the most idiotic things I could do at this point. I love you, [Y/N] and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I hate that it took seeing you almost die, for me to grow some balls and finally ask you, but I want this to be real. For whatever amount of time we have left, I want us to be a real family. I want to be a father to Nik and Pat, and I want to be your husband. So, will you marry me?”

You were in shock. There was no other way to describe this feeling. After everything you had gone through, you never expected this and you couldn't help but accept in the only way you could. You teased him. “Seeing as you finally spoke without every other word being a curse word....how could I say no?” The look on his face made you laugh out loud. “Yes, I will marry you, Negan. I love you.”

Grinning widely, he slipped the ring onto your finger as your friends and family cheered. You had no idea how or when he had found it and you didn't care. Launching yourself into his arms you ignored the twinge of pain in your shoulder as you embraced him. Then he kissed you and the entire world fell away. All of the pain and suffering was gone and you didn't have a care in the world.

This was where you belonged. In his arms, safe, happy, and free. And you knew, if anyone tried to change that, they would be met with the wrath of Negan. Nobody, living or dead, would take you away from your family or your home without a fight and, even then, they would undoubtedly lose.

#negan #twd negan #the walking dead negan #negan x reader #negan fanfiction #negan's thirst squad #negan's warm weather writing challenge

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theday · 6 years

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tagged by @ikyh and @younghyuuns ill be doing both sets !! :D thank you both for tagging me!! this got long so yall dont hav 2 read <3

ru?? rushee’s set!! me: wow ru does not sound like rushee at all ? djsjdhhjd im dumb but i realize now

i. do u believe in astrology? whats ur sign and do u line up with the features usually attributed to it?

fucc... i guess i do ;-0...... and yeah i think?????? like they say capricorns are cold bitches and funny nd im like ya thats me... but they also say we’re hard workers and im like uh.. dont know abt that karen !

ii. what’s ur favorite pair of socks?

bbbbbbb..... socks huh...... i guess my ankle ones? there are also socks that have actual designs on them and those r usually thicker.. keep my feets safe! most of them have pkmn designs bc.. yeah... love the poke mans

iii. what’s a food that reminds you of a specific moment/memory?

i could think of anythiing and get reminded of one situation if that makes sense.. but i thought of pineapple..pizza... anyway the memory isnt anythngn special its just me staring at my delicious hawaiian pizza..... at my favourite pizza place.... love that shit

iv. what’s the longest you’ve gone without sleeping?

i dont have the actual hours but the latest ive stayed up.. like willingly would be until 2am

v. how has ur taste in music changed throughout ur life?

went from 1d to 5so/s + other bands to utaite.... they cover vocaloid songs ig i never kno how2 explain what utaites r then 2 kpop.. but i still listen 2 bands + kpop and utaites.... so nothing much has changed ive just gone broader.. wider... expanded my tastes...

vi. who’s ur fashion icon?

oh definitely kim wonpil

vii. what’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done without realizing?

i breathe dumbass particles.. i cant think of one bc my brain probably blocked off all access to my horrifying past but ive been thinking abt how i used 2 send the boy i used 2 like 1d songs....................... 12 y/o old me rly thought. he’d listen.... 12 y/o me thought spamming him was a good idea glad ive learnt from that!

viii. what’s something you want to brag about?

my grades but it didnt get me into psychology so nvm ! its still good though i didnt expect to get an A1 (hghest grade) for combined humanities since ive had a B my whole life without it i wouldnt be able to move on education wise lmao so thank god for that thanks cambridge thanks bell curve sunbaenim

ix. when you imagine urself being happy in the future, where exactly are you (like the location!)?

oh definitely an apartment somewhere where its always windy and the curtains are always Moving and the sun just Shines in the room but its not that hot either its just full of warmth and yeah thats the dream maybe also walks in the park without having 2 worry abt sweating my pits out u kno! tldr anywhere but here

x. what’s something you’ve always wanted to own?

let me Think.... i dont need a lot/?? but id love hm.............. i want stability but realistically i want all the hh pcs from the code albums.

xi. how’ve you been lately?

good good! i finished my *** fic and its. im proud of it though i know its not that good nd i can do better but its done ! and hm i could be going to see mx but asking my mum is stressing me out speaking of her she wont stop Coughing and she refuses to see the doctor ;-/ love those sleepless nights ! other than that i just want 2 get out and feel the sun ???/ wanna get out of this house yea but i need to be.. shady with my money i cant get a job because school is starting in a month and im going overseas again sometime next month so ! no ones gonna hire someone who can only work for 2 weeks at most dhzjhhs shouldve worked when i had the time dumbasses only

ok now falen

1. what’s been on your mind??

hm redacted feeling towards my mum but i cant say them bc itd be insensitive

2. what are you looking forward to?

mx? possibly but also finishing my enrolment papers

3. story time!: how and when did you get into day6!!!!!

fuck...... listen up LADS.

ive told the same story like 10 times but im never gonna get tired of saying this shit bc i love miss boxy so much nd she deserves the appreciation anywy she introduced me 2 day6 after i saw this one (1) picture of brian in minion glasses and instantly i knew in that Fucking moment thatd id die for him. so i asked for the name of my murderer and was introduced to day6 whom frankly id never heard of b4 bdjhjh she sent me all their mvs and i still remember the night . i remember walking out of this japanese restaurant, twitter open, chat wiht boxy there and i was like.. interesting ill go listen when im home so i Did! and my mind was blown away bitch? i honest 2 god expected them to be a boy group,,, dancing and shit yknow? i didnt know k bands existed ! so as a previous 5/sos stan i was like wow. this??? this shit is 10/10 a fucking BANGER thats what i felt listening 2 i smile and just going :O over the fucking instruments so idk if how can i say was the last or second song but Damn. .. it made me scream thanks mister j** he rly dragged me by the collar of my shirt and threw me face first into Heaven so i watched everything i asked my friend for video recommendations and after boxy sent me a page with their face and names i was like this jae kid is 182 cm? wow gotta stan now im stupid and stupid for glasses and tall people so ! it happened bithc,, ugh i lov eday6 so much i remember binge watchng all their vlives after the july after party live (that being the first vlive i watched Ever in my entire life and i laghed so hard despite not understanding a damn thing) please id giv my heart and soul2 day6 im so happy with the way ive progressed as a myday :^(

bonus when i first started stanning it was 26th june and shortly after i made a stan acc teasers were being dropped but i didnt kno why ppl were freaking out i remmeber seeing jae’s teaser nd going ? ok? its just a pic damn ;-/ and then eveeryone was like: dowoon! choker! me: wdhs? what

4. ????do you have any allergies????

did u think of jae and no i used to be allergic 2 dairy products but thats disappeared

5. a fond memory???

bowling with friends and im just a disaster of a friend im always so loud with them and i thank god everyday that they handle my energy ? i would cheer for them even if they got a gutter or whatever and when they got a strike id go clap like crazy i love my friends i also went i have the power of god and anime on my side before flinging the ball and theyd laugh despite not knowing what vine that was from i love my friends... psg if ur out there yall are the best x i miss hanigng out with them as a trio.. three of us :(

6. do you paint your nails?? if so, what are your fave colors to use?? if not, why??

thats so.. tiresome.......... dont u have 2 wait for it 2 dry and shit ? my mums always worried abt ruining the colour or some sht nd im like !!! okY!!!!!!! tldr its a pain in the ass

7. what are your favorite colors?? what are your fave colors to wear??

i like hte colour of the sky... all the colours........ yeah love that bithc and lately ive been wearing a lot of black shirts finally went out of my embarrassing colourful phase !

8. what languages would you like to learn?? for what reason(s)??

japanese nd korean jp because i listen to a lot of things in japanese and korean for the same reason but my priority would be jp even tho id love to communicate with my faves i just... yeah although im not exactly making an effort 2 learn bc im lazy but if i Could.... itd be those two

9. when you get stickers, do you use them or do you keep them??

DHDGFHDHDGDSJHJSJAKSSJHFHS THIS FEELS LIKE A CALL OUT???? i keep them.........

10. are there any groups that you might get into/want to get into?

hm... well theres knk ive learnt their names and im finally able to put name 2 face so thats nice svt too if htey didnt have such large numbers... thats all for now i think?? i love evry girl group though i love gIRLS...

11. how are you???

idk im constantly just fine?? not the im sad but im fine kind of fine im literally just neutral half the time wjhddshs wild

both of your questions were really unique and i loved answering them thank you so much for tagging me and if youve read until the end thank you i hope you have a good day!

#tag games #moon texts #its with the s righthd hsjdhd

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themaninflannel · 7 years

Text

nightmares

Summary: dean has a nightmare about the reader in purgatory and when he wakes up he is very emotional and goes to find her. once he confesses something they grow closer than ever.

Warnings: swearing, self-blame(dean thinks everything is his fault, canon typical), comfort, fluff, cute smut, but still smut-oral(both receiving), fingering, unprotected sex(condoms yall)

Word Count: ~1800

A/N: this is the first smut I’ve written so sorry if it's a little crappy, I'm pretty sure I tagged everything but let me know if I didn't! @supernatural-jackles this is the story clintonvillegirl sent you an ask about earlier btw

I'm running. It feels like I've been running for decades. The gray trees of purgatory flying past me in a familiar blur, only stopping to kill the monsters that caught up to me. No matter what, I just kept running. Searching for her. Claws ripping at my skin, teeth tearing at my limbs, I kept running. I had to catch up to her. It was my fault she was in here in the first place, it's my fault she was hurt, it's my fault, it's my fault. I can't let her die again. More trees rushed by, I kept running until I found the river where I knew she would be. As I approached, I saw her, long brown hair tied up in her go-to messy bun, my old flannel tied around her waist, huge smile on her face, and arms outstretched towards me. Just as I got close I heard her shout in pain, saw her collapse into herself to reveal a monster behind her, its claws dripping with fresh blood. I run to her, but I can't move, I'm trying so hard to run faster, but it's like I'm running through 6 feet of mud. I'm watching her die slowly and there's nothing I can do about it. Inch by inch I make my way to her, when my fingertips finally reach her enough to graze her outstretched arms she disappeared, the hold on me left as well and i fell onto the river shore only to get up and keep running and do the same thing over and over and over. Run. Run. Kill. Run. Find her. Watch her die. Run. Run. Kill. Run. Find her. Watch her die. Again and again and again.

I woke up suddenly with cold sweat dripping down my bare chest, blinking away the years that were in my eyes. I knew it wasn't true, we got out of purgatory together-years ago-but I can never forget that it was my fault she was there in the first place. She went into the Levi's nest after me to make sure I wasn't gonna be alone and she got hit with exploding Dick, same as me and Cas.

I knew it was a dream but I had to make sure she was ok, I loved her. Plain as that. She didn't know, how could she love a monster like me? She was amazing and strong, not to mention one of the kindest people I have ever met. But she didn't feel the same way. She couldn't. She was all that and I was just an angry drunk.

I snuck out of my room and walked down the bunker hallway to hers, i just needed to make sure she was ok. When I got to her room, I listened at the door and slowly opened it. I saw her clothes all over her floor, books on her desk, computer open on her bed, covers all messed up, but I didn't see her.

I walked down to the kitchen to get a drink and calm my nerves because logically I'm sure she's ok but I still felt like something was off. About halfway down the stairs I heard a trashy sitcom laugh track and felt relief flood over me; she was watching TV, that's why she wasn't in her room. I still wanted that drink, though, so I kept walking down the stairs. When I got to the bottom she saw me and a look crossed her face, I couldn't tell exactly what it was, I've never been as good at figuring that kind of thing out as she was.

"Dean?" She turned around on the couch so her arm was thrown over the back, hair in the same bun from my nightmare, gorgeous as ever.

"Yeah, you still up?" My voice comes out shaky for some reason even though I was trying to sound upbeat, but she saw right through it.

"Come here? What's goin on?" She clicked off the TV and made room for me on the loveseat she had spread out on, completely ignoring my question. I silently walked over and sat stiffly next to her.

"What happened? You seemed fine a couple hours ago?" She whispered. Her hands going to card through my hair with a slow and soothing rhythm.

"Nightmare." I said as if that explained everything, and to her, i kinda think it did. She shifted so that my back was pressed against her chest, one arm around my torso the other still in my hair.

"I know you know this, but I'm gonna say it anyway: whatever happened, isn't real. Whoever got hurt-it wasn't your fault." She kept her voice low and even-toned. She continued to say things like that, knowing exactly what I needed to hear. I couldn't keep it to myself anymore.

"I love you," I whispered, barely audible. almost hoping she couldn't hear, but desperately needing her to.

"Damn right you do, I'm awesome." She joked still touching my hair, I think she thought I meant in a platonic way. She couldn't be more wrong.

"You absolutely are," My voice shakes again, a single tear rolled down my cheek. She turned my body so my face was facing hers and moved her hand from my hair to my face, closing the distance and surprising me by lightly kissing my lips.

"I love you too, Dean." she said aginst my bottom lip.

"Oh, thank god," I whispered back, taking her face in my hands and kissing her so passionately, like I had never kissed anyone before. And compared to her, I hadn't. She was the only one that mattered. I needed to be closer to her, my skin needed to touch hers. Lips still attached, I moved us so we were laying down, her chest on mine. we stayed like that for a while, only coming up for air when were couldn't stand it anymore; it felt like hours or seconds, I couldn't tell, before she pulled away and stripped off her tank top showing a comfy looking sports bra underneath. I had seen many bras in my time but none had the same impact on me. I whimpered and brought my hands from her hips to her bare back pulling her back down so our skin was touching.

"Wait, wait" She pulled up, still straddling my pajama-clad lap. Terror rushed through me as she said that, worried she was changing her mind and didn't want to do this, and my ego couldn't bear the rejection tonight.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" She sat hands on my chest a concerned look in her eye.

"Really? Do I want to have sex with the incredibly attractive woman I love? Yeah, totally wouldn't want to do that." I chuckled as I sat up and grabbed her face kissing her roughly, hands roaming, my mouth on her neck leaving opened mouth kisses all the way down to her collarbones. We separate for a split second so that I could take off her bra, even that seemed too long, this felt more right than anything I had ever done.

My cock was achingly hard in my pajama bottoms and I was very aware that there were only a few more pieces of clothing to shed before we would both be fully naked. Small breathy moans came from her mouth and went straight through me. I brought my hands up to cup her breasts, my thumb flicked over her hard nipple getting a louder moan to fall past her lips, her body reacting to my touch in the perfect way. I could tell she was as turned on as I was, I could feel her hips rocking trying to get some sort of friction.

She slid off my lap, causing me to groan at the sudden movement, she sat on the floor between my legs and pulled my pants down, my dick slapping my stomach leaking precum. She took it in her hands and pumped it once making appreciative sounds before licking a stripe from my balls up and sucking the head into her mouth, swirling her tongue through the slit, my hand went to her hair to make sure any strays from her bun wouldn't be in her way.

"No, wait, stop." I groaned out, she pulled off making a popping noise.

"Whats up? You wanna be done?"

"Oh, God no! I just- you've helped me so much I just want to return the favor," She sat back on the couch next to me and I nudged her so she was laying on her back. I leaned over and put my mouth on one nipple, my fingers going towards the other. I nipped at it with my teeth until the nipple became hard, switching back and forth, once her moans reached a peak and when I was satisfied I moved down, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses down her stomach, kissing her hip, her inner thighs until she was begging for it.

Only when her whole body was writhing around in need of contact did I pull her bottoms off and bring a finger to her dripping folds, slowly pushing one in and out and making small circles around her clit. I took my hand away and replaced it with my tongue, eliciting a very loud moan from her beautiful mouth. I took my time bringing her to the edge and keeping her there for a while, just enjoying the taste and sound of her, something I never thought I would be able to experience. Finally, I plunged two fingers in and curled them upwards at the same time that I sucked on her clit bringing her to her first climax of the night.

"My turn," She said with an amazing look of pleasure on her face. She pushed me back to the other side of the couch, positioning herself over my dripping cock and slowly sinking down on it until I was in her up to the hilt. She felt more amazing than I could have ever imagined; her warm walls hugging my hardness her mouth on my neck. I didn't know how long I was going to last when she started bouncing and rolling her hips at the same time. I brought one hand up to play with her nipple and the other down to rub at her clit and help her toward her next orgasm. As she bounced I could feel myself getting closer and closer to my own climax. I moved us so I could have more control, I put her legs over my shoulders and with a new angle I rammed into her hitting her G-spot straight on bringing her to another climax before I came inside her with a loud moan.

I don't know how much time passed before we fell asleep naked in each other's arms. I just know that I have never slept better.

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