#AT THE SAME TIME HE'S STRANGELY FAMILIAL due to his upbringing

[its-time-to-write]

AH I've been waiting for requests to be open! i love love loveeee your writing!! I've been in dire need (if you feel like writing it lol) of reader comforting jamie after the locker room scene w his dad at wembley.. like maybe instead of roy hugging him the reader swoops in? you do you! thanks!! <3

Listened to 17 Pushing 24 by Sabrina Sterling while writing this. Highly recommend ✌️🥲

i know what i’m doing

Sometimes Jamie wonders if you two are attracted to each other due to your compelling need to take care of everything. 

It certainly was difficult at first, both of you with residual issues due to your upbringing. His as the only son of a single mother, yours as the oldest daughter of a large family. 

Those types of child-caretakers aren’t always compatible. Jamie’s much more lighthearted about the way he tries to control everything, and you’re more serious.

You’d think it would be easier, both of you taking care of each other, except for the small fact that neither of you were capable of accepting help from the other. 

It came to a head one evening when Jamie came home to you crying in the laundry room, overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the tasks you had yet to complete before going to bed. 

“Love, I can help you,” Jamie had said.

“No! It’s my laundry and my responsibility and you already have enough to do without me burdening you even more,” you replied before dissolving into more tears. 

So yeah, it was a whole thing. It involved therapy and everything.

But you’re moving past it. You’re both getting to a point where each of you can receive the same love that you’re giving, however strange it may feel. Jamie even let you stay home from work to take care of him when he was sick a couple weeks ago, something that was pretty much unheard of up to this point.

You’re channeling the need to control things in healthy ways, like having all of AFC Richmond over to Jamie’s giant house for potluck-style family dinners. Or hosting non-video game nights, where FIFA is strictly banned as a form of entertainment. Or themed outings where everyone had to dress as something that shared the first letter of their name and then go see a movie at the local theater. 

Stuff like that. 

You’re the brains, Jamie is the execution. You can see Isaac side-eyeing him a couple times, making mental notes about temporary captains in the event that he can’t play a match. 

Jamie’s gone from Richmond’s resident prick to Richmond’s resident morale-booster.

He comes home one evening with brighter eyes than normal.

“Babe,” he calls before he’s even in the door, “Coach said I can go back to being a prick again.”

“Ted said that?” you ask from your spot on the couch. You’re laying down length-wise with your legs dangling off the end.

“Fuck no,” Jamie replies, “Roy.”

“Oh,” you say as Jamie plops his bags down. You sit up a little so he can have a spot on the couch. He pats his lap so you lay back down, head on his thigh.

“Roy said that Ted fucked me up, so ‘when it’s appropriate’” (he uses air quotes) “I can be a prick to the other team.”

“That’s nice, babe,” you say, “but how do you know when to do that?”

Jamie shrugs. “Coach said he’d give me a signal. Don’t know what it is, though.”

You say, “hm,” then lapse into comfortable silence, Jamie’s hand running through your hair.

—

The prick signal worked so much better than you could have thought. It’s the best. You see Jamie go from playing defensively to being completely offensive, screwing with the other team’s heads. You scream and clap as he scores, while Keeley practically throttles you with joy.

Now it’s late after the game, and the lads are all over at Jamie’s. They’re absolutely exhausted, but buzzing with energy. It isn’t until about 1am that they disperse to the various guest bedrooms and pass out on top of each other. You catch a glimpse of Dani cuddling Jan Maas who’s asleep in a starfish position as Colin sneaks in to draw on their faces with sharpie. 

“Don’t tell anyone it was me,” he whispers. You zip your lips and head to the master bedroom and pretty much fall onto the right side of the bed.

Jamie comes in shortly after, saying something about Isaac telling a bedtime story. He burrows under the covers and you quietly shriek because he’s placed his ice-cold hands on your ribcage.

“How are you so cold?” you whisper.

Jamie shrugs sleepily. “Dunno,” he whispers back. “Got ice in my veins, I guess.”

You smile. “You’re tired, aren’t you babe?”

Jamie shakes his head and stifles a yawn. “Nah, ain’t tired. Thinkin’ about our match against Man City.”

He says it casually. Too casually.

You see, both you and Jamie have this thing where the more nonchalantly you say something, the more important it is.

You prop yourself up a bit so you can face him and scratch his head. He sighs and leans in.

“You nervous?” you ask.

Jamie shakes his head. “Not to see the team. Lookin’ forward to seeing Pep. It’s just…” he trails off.

You whisper, “Yeah. I know. Whatever happens, I’m here. Don’t forget that. I’m here no matter what.”

Jamie says, “hm,” and then he’s asleep.

—

You’re running. 

You’re running faster than any of the boys on the pitch had run the entire match, and you’re pushing past people in a way that Keeley would later describe as “absolutely fucking feral.”

It happened like this:

The game was over. Richmond lost to Man City.

You were on your way to see Jamie and the rest of the team.

You were, maybe, three floors away? when Rebecca got a text from Ted, showed it to you, and before you knew it you were flying down to the guest locker room to find Jamie.

Of course his dick father would show up to make this day worse. Of course he would.

You’re ducking under security and pushing your way to the locker room in a flurry of motion, then immediately stop.

It’s silent, absolutely silent. 

And so still.

No one moves a muscle as your eyes land on Jamie, clinging to Roy like he’s a lifeline. Roy. Roy Kent, self-proclaimed Jamie-hater and staunch advocate against physical touch.

Jamie’s eyes are squeezed shut, but they flutter open at the sound of your tentative footsteps. He lets go of Roy for a moment, but only so that you can grab him in the next.

“Right,” says Roy, “Everybody get the fuck out!”

There are no complaints as the lads hurriedly grab their bags and exit the locker room.

Roy nods in your direction before leaving, and Beard mouths, “take your time.” You’re not sure where Ted’s gone off to.

Jamie feels like he’s going to collapse if he stands any longer, crushing you in the strongest grip you’ve ever felt.

“Oi,” you say gently, “let’s sit down, yeah? You don’t have to let go.”

So now you’re on the bench in Jamie’s lap, scratching his head in the way he likes, waiting for him to break the silence.

“Fucking stupid,” he says, voice muffled.

You ask, “What?” because surely that can’t be what he just said.

“I said it’s fucking stupid,” Jamie says, refusing to meet your eyes. “I’m a fucking adult. Don’t need to be crying about stupid shit, especially not in front of the lads.”

“Oh, right,” you say before you can stop yourself, “because crying after your dick father tried to swing at you when you set boundaries for the first time ever is a completely unreasonable response.”

Jamie is still in your arms and you cringe. Curse your stupid, logical tongue.

Jamie finally says, “Didn’t think about it like that.” He sighs. “It’s just fuckin’ embarrassing, innit? Him showing up here like that. Didn’t need the lads seeing that.”

You kiss his forehead. 

“The only person it’s embarrassing for is him. Not you. You’re absolutely fine, Jaim. If anything, the boys are going to look at you better for finally understanding the shit you had to grow up with.”

Jamie nods, but you’re not sure if he believes you.

“Jamie,” you say firmly, “It’s not your fault. You handled it the best way it could have been handled. You did a great job.”

Those words seem to do something to Jamie, and his face takes on an expression you’ve never seen before

He asks, “You think so?” in such a forlorn manner than you have the sudden urge to find James Tartt and kick him in the balls with steel-toed shoes. You briefly wonder if Roy and Beard would like to join you.

“Yes,” you reply forcefully, “Yes Jamie. You did a wonderful job in a shitty situation and I’m very, very proud of you.”

Jamie doesn’t reply, just holds you tighter if that’s even possible. He takes a deep shuddering breath, but it’s the first real one he’s taken this entire time. 

“I told you I’m here no matter what,” you say. “Just like all the times you’ve been here for me. Now I’m here for you.”

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt #ted lasso

[luneengene2]

HIS SOFT SPOT

(Hogwarts AU)

• Slytherin!nicholas x Hufflepuff!fem!reader

• Warnings : short au, death of parents, mention of not good upbringing, quarrel, grammatical errors, (tell me if there is anything missing)

• A/N : Trust me, I'm totally in the Slytherin!nicholas loving phase...

The whole of Hogwarts knew that Nicholas was the rude and temperamental type of Slytherin. He gets angry easily if something bothers him, he doesn't even hesitate to fight anyone who always gets in his way or annoys him, even professors are no exception.

Nicholas grew up to be a temperamental person because of his stepfather's harsh upbringing. His biological father died when he was a baby, and his mother remarried an Englishman six years later. However, in the 9th year of marriage between his biological mother and stepfather, his mother died due to a sudden heart attack. Nicholas was raised harshly by his stepfather, Evan Rosier. Many people said that Evan did something like that because he also loved Nicholas, but Nicholas didn't feel that way. He felt that his stepfather was just making him a puppet that he could control at any time. Nicholas stuck with Evan because Evan was the only guardian he had. Moreover, he was only seventeen years old, which meant he couldn't make decisions at will.

In fact, Evan was so controlling over Nicholas, Evan was also the one who chose Nicholas' mate. Evan matched Nicholas with one of his friends' daughters who was in Hufflepuff. You. Nicholas was matched with you because of business matters between Nicholas' step family and your family, not purely because they wanted to unite the two families. The match made by Evan of course made Nicholas furious, he couldn't rebel much.

However, everything changed when Nicholas saw you for the first time. You weren't like the typical pureblood girl he usually imagined with an arrogant and spoiled nature. In fact, you are very gentle, caring and kind to everyone. In less than a month, you succeeded in making Nicholas truly fall in love with you. Even though at first you didn't like this match, you slowly accepted it well.

Nicholas, who has a temperamental nature, never shouts or even curses at you. He can't change his temperamental nature, but he won't want to show that bad nature to you. If you get into an argument, he will stop the fight if you are around. Or he will calm down if he just hears your voice.

Your relationship with him became stronger when Evan and your father decided to engage you to Nicholas so quickly. Your status as his fiancé makes Nicholas have a sharper protective side. He hates anyone talking bad about you. He hates you talking to strange men. He hates anyone who always disturbs your peace. He hates everything that makes you sad or even cry.

"Y/N!" You jumped in surprise when you heard Cedric's voice calling you in the Hufflepuff common room while you were reading a book during your break.

"Yes, Cedric? What is it?" You asked with furrowed brows, Cedric looked panicked, his breathing was labored. "Your fiancé got into another fight," You immediately gaped and got up from your seat. "Again?! This time with who?!" You were immediately no less panicked than Cedric.

"Matheo Riddle, they are fighting near the black lake, no one can stop Nicholas yet," You slapped your forehead when you heard Cedric's answer. Without further ado, you immediately ran to the black lake to stop Nicholas.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Riddle bastard! I will really kill you this time!" Nicholas shouted thunderously, he punched Mattheo mercilessly. Mattheo, who is usually reliable against anyone, is now having difficulty responding to Nicholas' punches or even avoiding him.

His friends even had difficulty separating Nicholas and him, or even no one dared to separate the two of them.

Why did the two of them get into a fight? It all started with Nicholas who was composing a beautiful poem for you near the black lake, and at the same time wanted to refresh himself too. And suddenly, Draco Malfoy's gang came, starting to make sharp sarcasm at Nicholas. At first Nicholas didn't care, but when Mattheo suddenly said indecent words aimed at you, Nicholas was immediately provoked into extraordinary anger.

On the black lake, things already looked tense and chaotic. You let out a rough sigh because Nicholas' Slytherin friends could only scream without any action to separate Nicholas and Mattheo.

You approach the chaos with ragged breath, trying to stay calm too because if you panic, you feel everything gets even rougher. "Nicho," The Slytherin students there immediately looked at you when you called out to Nicholas softly.

Nicholas didn't hear you, he was still busy beating up Mattheo. "NICHOLAS!" You shouted sharply and loudly enough for Nicholas to hear your voice. Your breath was out of breath from yelling that hard, you weren't used to it.

Nicholas immediately looked at you when you shouted his name, but his hand was still holding Mattheo's shirt collar tightly. You approached Nicholas, smiled slightly and took his hand. "This is not good, stop it okay?" You spoke softly then caressed his cheek. Nicholas' hand which was still holding Mattheo immediately threw the curly-haired man away.

Nicholas kissed your palm which had been on his cheek. And yeah it's true, he's very calm when you're by his side. It's really changed drastically.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You should have ignored Riddle's words earlier. I don't want you to be complained to Professor Snape for getting into a fight with him," You said while stroking his hair gently, currently he was lying in your lap.

"I don't care if I complain to Snape, Mattheo deserves it, he can't talk bad things about you," You chuckled when you heard Nicholas' words. "I'm used to things like that, besides you know how I am. Just you understanding me is more than enough, Nicho," You said softly, then played with his fingers gently.

"You know, you are very precious to me. I can't be silent if someone talks bad about you, you are a part of my life, and a part of my life like myself, they should not be humiliated, miserable, and look bad," Nicholas said looking into your eyes softly. One of his hands reached out to stroke your hair. "I have lost both of my biological parents, they are part of my life that has been lost, but God sent you as if to be medicine for me. I was 'healed' after meeting you. Therefore, I always want to protect you well, I don't want God to take you from me because I can't protect you," Hearing that from Nicholas, you were always deeply touched. He really experienced major trauma because he lost the valuable people in his life.

The sweet words and promises he said to you weren't just sickening talk, he really kept his word well. He always proves his promises and words to you, never breaking them in the slightest.

"I love you," This has been a thousand times (?) Nicholas has said things like that to you, and he will keep saying them, maybe until you and he grow old together.

You responded to his words by giving him a sweet kiss on his lips, while allowing him to 'channel' his love for you through his actions.

#&team smut #&team #&team imagines #&team nicholas #&team x reader #&team fluff #hogwarts au #harry potter

[padfootdaredmetoo]

can you make one where the reader is a ambitious and smart woman, she knows it would be hard for her as a woman in her situation to get rich without marrying a rich man and she always knew that tommy would achieve great things and become a business man so she promise she will marry him one day and that's exactly what she does. she's younger then him but grew up around the shelby family. from the moment she turns 18 she does her best to make tommy fall in love with her and propose (w/happy ending

Dear Anon,

Thank you for writing. I really struggled with this one (mostly due to current personal issues taking up space in my mind) I can't tell how good it is but I hope that it's what you are looking for! Thank you again for waiting <3

Warnings: Peaky-related violence, hurt feelings, description of not-so-great upbringing

The streets were just like everything else in your life, damp and dirty. You grew up close to the Shelby family, being the same age as Tommy you both fell in despite usually hanging out with different groups of kids. 

His parents were very strange, and not very well accepted among the poor working class. Something you didn't understand at the time. They spoke a different langue, and being desperate for any type of affection you would always sit with his Aunt and try to learn just for something to do. Polly wasn't that much older than them, but to you the whole world revolved around her. 

His mother died, while your mother left. His father left, and yours never put down the bottle. Essentially you all relied on each other and Polly more than anyone else. The only person accepted into the cloud of anger that surrounded you was Tommy. He was hungry and ambitious, even though no one believed him when he said he would bring the family off these streets, you did. More than anything you wanted a spot next to him, away from the suffering. 

There was something about it that made your heart thud in your chest, your eyes go wide as you listened to all of the things he would be willing to do for his family. Things like this did stuff to a young girl's heart and you were no exception. You started to feel comfortable, your time spent riding horses and playing down at the yard, helping with his brothers and sister. 

Childhood never lasted very long, it was unavoidable that these times would come to an end. If not by your father shipping you off to boarding school, it was only a handful of years later that the war took the best boys off the streets of Birmingham to throw them into the trenches. 

Before the train took you away from your found family that late August, Tommy placed a promise on your finger. He said that by the time you’d come home he’d have built a name for the two of you to share. If you were single he’d marry you. Simple as that, you missed how black and white things were at 15. 

Through the war you sent money back to Polly to take care of John's kids, knowing it was just her and Ada handling the responsibilities of a family that size alone, made you long to come home. 

You got letters from Tommy, and you tried your best to make it sound like you were doing fine. In reality, you weren’t seeing the war as he was. Only the broken bloody aftermath. Bleeding flesh and screams. 

____________________________________________________________

Eventually, the war came to pass. With the men home, there were women needing midwives everywhere. This gave you an easy opportunity to transfer anywhere you wanted to for training. You didn't need to give it any thought though. 

You returned by train, just like he had three months prior. Even if you had not directly touched the charred flesh of war, you could tell by his letters that he wasn't the same boy you left behind. 

You weren't the same either. But that didn't mean you didn't want the same thing. Tommy was a warhorse, and you knew that being tied to him would mean a comfortable life, freedom, and it would essentially be like living with your best friend. You just prayed there was some of that friendship left in him. 

Polly was the one to collect you bringing you right to the betting shop. You took the space in with the eyes of an adult for the first time. Listening to her prattle on about where you would sleep and the arrangements she’d made.

“You should keep renting your father’s house out. Too many ghosts there for a young lady. Better all around for you to stick close to us.” She gave you a warm smile and pulled you into a tight hug again. 

“Who’s this then?” Arthur boomed. 

“Burlesque den’s down the street there - love.” John quipped. 

“John!” Polly snapped at him but you only laughed as he pulled you into a tight hug. You punched him in the arm and Arthur pulled you into a tight embrace. 

Tommy entered the room and you felt your center of gravity shift. He came over and gave you a wordless hug. 

“Family meeting needs to start.” He looked around the room and then walked into the back. You responded to Polly’s sour look with wide eyes and a smile. 

Some things didn't change. 

Tommy had more going on that he was willing to share. A detail that was glaring you in the face throughout the meeting making it challenging to pay attention. You’d never watched him lead the family before, but while everyone was ready to fall into place you could feel that Polly was also stuck on the secrets he was keeping. 

“And how can I help?” You finally piped up preventing a fight from starting up. 

“Just get settled in” He dismissed. You breathed a sigh in response as Polly lost her patience. 

The rest of the evening you watched him observing you in his own way. You were crushed by how strange and twisted his presence felt. It was like looking at a painting of someone. His likeness was captured but not his essence.  He wasn't that boy anymore, there was nothing you could do to get his lips to turn up. A heavy sense of dread hung around him only visible in the bags under his eyes. 

You assumed he just needed time to adjust. Until the sharp edges of his newly found claws sunk into your plans. Everyone had magically gotten tired at the same time and left to go wash up for bed.

“I want you home. Esme can't be left unattended, and Polly’s been difficult lately.” He said coldly staring into the fire. The weight of his words hit you like lightning. 

“I didn't come here to work in a betting shop and babysit.” You said coldly. 

“What did you come here for?” His eyes finally met yours, slowly focusing on your face. “To be a part of this family and I -.” He finished before you could speak.

“This isn't a good look for you,” you whispered leaning into his face. 

“Look -” 

You didn't care what he had to say. You knew him well enough to know that he needed time to think about how he had spoken to you. 

Your fists were balled tightly, nasty thoughts started to bite into your bones as you collapsed onto your bed. It distracted you from the pain in your chest. You knew that falling in line was your best shot and winning him over. You thought of the reward that was hanging in the balance, working as a nurse would not provide the life you wanted. 

But being bossed around wasn't what you wanted. You and him were always a team, always equal. Eventually, you fell into a painful sleep, filled with the usual unescapable scenes playing over and over in your mind. 

You had a choice to make and instead of putting on your best outfit as you had planned, you got dressed in your everyday clothes and headed downstairs to help with breakfast. 

“Do you need something to wear? Thought you were going out job hunting?” Polly said putting her cigarette out on an ashtray you had carved for her ages ago. Tommy’s face appeared from behind the newspaper he was reading. 

“Figured I’d settle in with you lot for a couple of days first.” Polly gave you a warm smile, while Tommy gave you a subtle nod. You resisted the urge to slap him, and started in on a piece of toast. 

_______

Two days sitting next to Esme you knew exactly why Tommy didn't trust her. She was flighty and stubborn, her own eyes extremely distrusting. But she liked to laugh and drink, and you were very good at both of those things. 

Tommy seemed to take little notice of your outfits or the jokes you made. You were invisible to him no matter how hard you tried. You showed off how you had reorganized the place, balanced the books, you even fixed the broken lock on the safe. An impossible task, but you did it. To him, it was as if you were telling him it was supposed to rain all week. Nothing. 

It wasn't until his attention was occupied by a blonde barmaid that you realized this was about a lot more than just money. You felt like you had fallen off the side of a building. You made your way down the street to the darkness of your room before falling apart. All the boys you had turned down, all the dances and drinks. All of it because they were fine but they weren't Tommy. 

But why you were caught up on Tommy suddenly had a lot more to do with the time you had shared than the money. You would trade all the wealth in the world to have your best friend back. Older, smarter, always looking out for you, keeping you safe, taking the consequences when plans failed. That’s what you wanted. Money provided comfort in the world, but he had provided you safety. Enough safety to feel at home in a broken family, in a nasty world. 

You finally realized what you had actually been striving for, and felt your ambition turn into desperation and grief. 

You hated your options, you hated the messy feelings attached to everything you did. Staying in the family was still the best option for physical safety and money. Watching him watch the rest of the world would have to be your place moving forward. 

________

Cold hands pulled you from the darkness. Tommy was above you and you placed a hard slap across his face before processing what was happening. 

“The fuck do you want” You hissed, heart hammering. 

“What do you need?” You answered immediately. 

“Need your help.” His eyes were wide and his face was flushed, despite everything the look on his face was enough to push all of it away. He was scared.

“We’ve been betrayed. Someone let slip - Kimber boys are on the way here” 

“Eh, but Esme’s family will help with the beating?” You responded groggily as you tried to string together the limited information you had.

“Nah, Lee boys are still out at Worcester - fucking outnumbered. I don’t know who-” 

“Barmaid.” You whispered. “She’s always there when business is on?” You thought over the last few days, she was never far when they were talking about important things. 

“I kept a close eye on her - but fuck she could have overheard.” His hands slammed down on your dresser in frustration. Hope blossomed in the pit of your stomach, maybe that was the only reason he was interested in her…

“Look what are you hiding? Tell me and we can sort this.” 

“Guns - lots of guns and then-” 

“Wait the ones from the paper? You took them- Fucking hell” You realized the weight of what he’d done. You should have pushed him for answers the second you got there. 

“Who’s Kimber?- Wait to hell with it rally up some street boys and use the guns?” 

“Guns are gone” 

“Fuck” You sighed. “Well, rally the boys up anyway - Small Health Rifles haven't lost a fight yet?” You said weakly. He looked at you for a long moment, and you felt panic wash over you. He was always steady, even more so now than before. But right now you could feel the weight of this mess crushing the both of you. 

You got out of bed and helped get everyone together, digging up guns from every corner of the house. Ensuring that Ada and the baby were far away from what was going to happen. This time when he gave orders you stood next to him.

You sat with Polly in the kitchen, holding her hand and praying. Two shots and the whole thing was over. 

There was only so much day drinking your stomach could handle and you felt yourself relax back at the empty house. Lighting a cigarette and looking out the kitchen window you took a deep breath. 

You still had a decision to make. Tommy wouldn't stop here, and this would be a life of complicated and dangerous affairs. You knew that you should go - you heard footsteps and turned around to see him standing in the doorway. 

“Thought I’d scared you off.” He breathed, relief washing over him. 

“Not yet.” You said quietly.

“I- I’m sorry ‘bout everything. I thought you’d be coming home after all this had cleared up.” He rocked back on his heels looking like a ghost of the boy you once knew. You quickly did the mental math on how many glasses of whiskey he’d knocked back. 

“It’s what I expected.” You shrugged at a loss of what to do or say. “You really don't want me to work then?” 

He let out a long sigh. “Look if you can give me a year I’ll have it sorted.” He pleaded with you. 

“What needs to be sorted? The money is alright and I’m good at what I do.” 

“I know what you want and I’d don’t have it yet. But I’m working on it - work for a bit and then things will – ” 

“Tommy” You cut him off. 

“Just let me fucking explain.” He snapped and you grabbed his hand catching him off guard. 

“You're what I wanted.” You whispered looking up into his blue eyes. He let out a breath unsure of what to do. “The whole time. I just wanted to be next to you.” You searched his eyes full of hope. Hope that he saw you as more than an easy arrangement, or a convenient friend. You knew that if this was just platonic - 

Your mind stopped as his hand cupped the back of your neck. 

“Just me?” He whispered and the hair on your arms stood up as a shiver ran through you. It was too much honesty, too much vulnerability. You gave a nod unable to speak. 

“Not much of me left.” He kept up appearances but you felt the pain in his words. 

“I could say the same about myself.” His eyes narrowed slightly at you as if trying to see what was out of place. “Guess we’ll have to get to know each other -”  But he already knew you, pulling you into a tight grip. Placing his lips on yours. It was feverish and messy, you could feel the life inside him rise to the surface. His hands gripped more than your flesh desperate to grab hold of your heart. 

You felt him pull away grabbing your jaw to keep you quiet. The answer to your question was answered by the sounds of Polly cursing and fumbling in the entryway. He nodded towards the stairs and patted you on the bottom. You quickly made your exit realizing he trying to let you handle this on your own terms, that and Polly would probably beat him for advancing on you drunk in the kitchen. 

“Where did she sneak off to?” Polly said.

“She’s alright, just tired” He responded easily. 

The family all piled in and you spent the night laughing and drinking. Tommy kept you close enough to drive you crazy, but not so much that it was obvious. You watched the victory of the day bring a smile to his face and you were determined to find a way to make everything work. 

That night you got into bed and listened waiting for his bedroom door to close. Once he was in bed you would work up the courage to go and talk to him about everything. 

The day took its toll on you and you drifted off. 

His hand brushed your shoulder and you reached out to grab his neck. 

“Just me, love.” He said softly. You relaxed and felt his fingers run through your messy hair. 

“Someone hurt you?” 

“Lots of things have hurt me.” You breathed relaxing against his touch. 

“They have names?” his fingers slid along your cheek. 

“All of them had names…. faces, minds, families -” You let your voice trail off. He started to realize what you were talking about. “None of them were you though or the boys.” You shifted onto your side and wrapped your body around him. 

“This an invitation?” He mumbled and you wordlessly moved to create space for him to lay down on the small bed. You remembered nights laying next to him trading the fighting at home for the fighting at his house. Your house had the potential of direct conflict with your father, here there were three boys between you and the door.

Now your body was fighting a war between desperation and sleep. 

“You don’t sleep well.” He stated. 

“No, but neither do you.” You moved to cuddle his arm, placing your head on his shoulder.

“You didn't mention much in your letters?” 

“Not a lot of good stuff to mention.” You mumbled trying to avoid the topic right before bed. In time maybe you would talk about it, but you weren't ready yet. 

“Hmm. Any men?” 

“Thomas Shelby” You mock scolded. 

“What! Just want to know if I’ll be beating men off the doorstep every morning.” You knew this light mood was a product of copious amounts of alcohol, but it gave you hope that it was still tucked away in there somewhere. 

“Hardly.” You laughed, then sobered up as you realized what he probably meant. “Not a virgin if that’s what you're asking.” 

“I’m heartbroken. This whole time I’d saved myself. That silly copper ring didn’t mean much did it.” You lifted your head to look at him in disbelief. You were almost certain that he wasn't even a virgin when you were shipped off to school. “I’m joking, love.” 

“Absolute man-whore. I never took the bloody thing off” You pulled the necklace with his ring out from under your nightgown. He fiddled with it watching the street light bounce off of it.

 “If you're serious about this and you even have thoughts about sleeping around” You took a deep breath and pinched his jaw bringing his face to yours. “I’ll kill you myself. Your brothers won’t even avenge you.” 

“Don’t I know it. Probably have to fight them for the shot.” 

You tried to keep a straight face but couldn't hold it together seeing him so carefree. 

“That’s it then” you sighed. 

“Suppose so.” 

“Anything else you want to know?” You questioned. 

“Marry me?” He asked in a more serious tone. 

“You can’t be serious?” There were a million things about you he would need to figure out. Nightmares, anxiety attacks - the list felt endless. 

“Grand proposal and ring will have to wait if that’s what you want.” he interrupted your thoughts. 

“It’s not that. Don’t really care about that stuff.” You were trying to figure out how to explain everything without ruining the mood. 

“Hmm well, we could go to the Church on the weekend.” 

“Tommy there is a lot to know about each other still -” 

“I know you're the same girl, same principles, same crazy morals. The rest is irrelevant, have the rest of my life to uncover it.” 

“I -” 

“Look I’ll wait till you're ready. Just promise me we can give this a shot, eh?” 

“Promise.” You leaned into him and pressed a kiss to his lips. He stopped your advances after a few moments.

“You're drunk.” He said trapping your arms to your chest with his embrace. 

“Am not!” You said while realizing that he was drunk and that you’d best be stopped.

“Fine, I’m a little drunk. I’d like to remember this.” He placed another heated kiss to your lips before kissing your forehead. 

“Love you.” You whispered. 

“Love you too.” He responded easily. 

Sleeping in his embrace was simple. You woke up twice only to feel his heavy arms pull you back down. Something you would enjoy getting used to. 

___________________________________________________________________

Polly notices that she’s always watching Tommy, slightly differently than she used to. So she starts conveniently sending them out together for random things. Soon the whole family is on it trying to get them to spend more time together, hoping that they would get together. They are just happy to be alone so they don't notice at once. Arthur finally starts chewing into him about how he’s leading her on and how he should handle things.

She tells Polly later that night. She came in to bring Polly a mug of herbal tea, sitting on the edge of her bed she tells her. 

Everyone was happy, and a wedding was planned. 

You gave Polly your makeshift ring before the small ceremony. But when the time came you were surprised to find a new set of gold bands. He put a ring on your finger, Romani words you would have to ask about later pressing into your skin, diamond on top4f of your finger. 

Hard times came and went, but even he would admit that the whole lot of it was much easier with you by his side.

#Tommy shelby #thomas shelby #Tommy shelby x reader #Thomas shelby x reader #Peaky blinders #Peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders requests #Shelby family x reader #Shelby family imagine

[commander-krios]

What are some of the main ways your Tavs/Durges show love towards the people around them? Are they very physically affectionate? Generous with their words of affirmation? Or do they show their love in less obvious ways?

Sorry it took so long to answer this!

Alyril'fryn

For Aly, it's harder for her to show affection at first. She doesn't have much experience with true affection like love (romantic or platonic) due to her upbringing. She's more of an Acts of Service type, affection is shown less with words and more with action. Protecting the person from harm, putting yourself between them and danger, make sure they're taken care of first.

Romantically, she was less likely to put herself out there, but with Gale (and slightly with Rugan earlier in her life), she shows her affection in much the same way as before, with Acts of Service, but opens up more over the course of their relationships. Touch is big with her once she trusts you. A hand on your shoulder, brushing her fingers through your hair, etc.

Juniper

Juniper loves to love. She is more likely to show affection than Aly is, in all matters: familial, platonic, romantic. How she shows this depends on the dynamic and person, but some examples:

Family: With her family, primarily her father, they show love by doing things for each other. Acts of Service. Cooking is huge for Juniper, she loves to make things for those she cares about. Usually sweet treats, but she is capable of making a real meal as well. Words of affirmation is big too, telling someone they are doing great, helping them through an issue. It was how she was raised and she shows it still as an adult.

Friends: With her closest friends, primarily Karlach and Gale, she uses touch a lot: hugs, pats on the back, leaning on one another. She loves to express affection through small friendly touches. And words of affirmation are huge here too. Talking out issues, giving an uplifting speech, telling her friends how much they mean to her. She does it all.

Romance: With Rolan, she's a strange combination of many things. She's definitely generous with her affection in this situation, to the point that it definitely flusters him. She praises him, shows her appreciation in words and acts, doing things for him that he notices after the fact (like making his favorite tea, or taking out a book he'd been interested in and leaving it on his desk for him to find). Quality time is important to her as well, making sure they have time together, just the two of them, even if it's sitting in a quiet room reading. And touch is more intimate between them, usually reserved for private, but in public, she will kiss him or brush her hand against his arms or hands, bump into him 'accidentally'.

#undead-potatoes #tav: alyril'fryn #tav: juniper #alyril'fryn x gale #alyril'fryn x rugan #juniper x rolan

[theyareweird]

My Hero Academia: Tenya Ida —Aesthetic

The Turbo Hero: Ingenium's Character & Personality

Tenya is a student at U.A. High and is training to become a Pro Hero. At first, he looks severe, unfriendly and intimidating. In reality, Tenya is straightforward, earnest, intelligent, sophisticated, disciplined and noble. However, he's a bit clueless about personal interactions due to his elite upbringing. Tenya generally expresses hyperactive and intense behavior. He often exhibits plenty of peculiar tics, like moving his arms in strange chopping patterns or sometimes twitching his body uncontrollably. Yet, Tenya rarely sheds his usual strict expression. He takes everything quite seriously. Tenya is also known for habitually jumping to conclusions, then enthusiastically speaking or acting based on said conclusions. Furthermore, he always attempts to heavily immerse himself into practical exercises. Tenya plays his part as a hero or villain in an overly theatrical manner, as an attempt to appear more authentic. He's extremely dedicated to his studies. Tenya is always eager to learn new things, regardless of whether they have anything to do with Heroics. As Class 1-A's representative, he's obsessed with organization and discipline. Tenya expects his classmates to follow suit with his usually loud and overbearing nature. At the same time, he takes responsibility for the safety and guidance of his classmates in times of crisis. Tenya considers it his duty to protect and keep them away from dangerous situations. He knows how to quickly respond to emergencies, downplay panic and disorder among bystanders. Tenya is quite humble. He's willing to admit to his mistakes, apologize for rude behavior and improve in areas he lacks. Tenya values honor and fair play. He'll become outraged if he's being manipulated by more selfish personalities. Being part of the highly-esteemed Ida Family, Tenya is proud of his lineage and works hard to meet his expectations. He greatly admires his older brother and aspires to become a similar hero.

#tenya iida #iida tenya #tenya ida #my hero academia #turbo hero: ingenium #art #ingenium #superhero #aesthetic #moodboard #anime #science fiction #comedy #ida tenya

[twilightmalachite]

Raison d’être - A Premature Burial 11

Author: Akira

Characters: Shu, Mika

Translator: Mika Enstars

"I’d do things such as put on girl’s clothes and try to play forbidden games, dictated by my own interests and whims… Much to my family’s annoyance."

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Season: Winter

Location: The Itsuki's House Cellar

Raffaello: “Regrettably, my mother’s diary was buried along with her at her funeral in her coffin.”

”While it’s not as if we cannot dig it out—that is indeed too disrespectful towards the dead.”

Mika: Ah, so yer Mother’s passed away, Raffaello-san?

Raffaello: “Do you feel sorry for me? Even though she is the affiliated party in Shu-kun’s grandfather’s affair…”

“But at least, you could say she died without any regrets.”

“She had passed away due to old age. While death is always a tragedy, it is not something to be mourned too much.”

Mika: Ahh, talkin’ about an affair had me imaginin’ a young lady this entire time, but she was a grandma, huh? On second thought, that was a given.

But if she’s already passed away, there’s no reason to point fingers at her—

Shu: It has not yet been confirmed that Grandfather had an affair. Stop talking on the assumption that “that” is true, it’s disrespectful.

Raffaello: “Fufu. Anyways, while it is a only guess as we do not dig up my mother’s grave, I would assume there my mother’s diary contained nearly the same content.”

“By reading the text, you can see what had transpired in the past.”

Shu: What would be the point of doing that? Even if it is a relative of mine, I do not wish to do something as shameless as read someone else’s diary.

Raffaello: “Are you afraid, Shu-kun? Of the “truth” behind the grandfather you admire so much.”

Shu: … …

Raffaello: “I believe this story will be of benefit to you guys as well.”

“I had overheard your conversation—In order to mourn the deceased, you must know about the tastes and upbringing of the deceased.”

“Wouldn’t this diary, hidden and sealed from the eyes of your family, be an indispensable item essential for delving into the true image of this deceased?”

Mika: If we are to win the Funeral Contest, it’s important t’know about Grandfather’s past—is what yer sayin’?

But, like Oshi-san said… Readin’ someone else’s diary is a shameless thing t’do.

If Oshi-san finds it distasteful, then we’ll just act as if we’ve never seen this diary—

Shu: No, I’ll read it.

Mika: Nnah?

Shu: I am most certainly intrigued. And I’m not as modest as you might expect me to be.

No, otherwise, I wouldn’t have chosen a line of work that includes acting like a clown in front of others.

That, and, ever since I was a child, I’ve had a strong intellectual curiosity, too. So greedy, I’d astonish even my own family.

I’d do things such as put on girl’s clothes and try to play forbidden games, dictated by my own interests and whims… Much to my family’s annoyance.

The only person who understood me was Grandfather.

Of course, while that stubborn old man would be scolding me with his mouth…

He gave me this cellar, and made any arrangements for anything that I had wanted to do.

So, while his mouth was scolding me to become a man worthy of being the heir to the Itsuki family, he himself was collecting and hoarding strange things he did not understand.

Which one of those was my true grandfather? What is the “truth” behind this old man, irritable with a temper and an irregular personality from age?

I am very intrigued. And as Mr. Raffaello said…I believe it is necessary to do if we are to complete the job we have at hand.

Therefore, I shall touch “it”. Even if it dirties my fingertips with mud.

Mika: Nnah~… If that’s what ya want, Oshi-san, then I’ll go with ya.

But, aside from The Taming of the Shrew, what should we do with the sealed diary here?

We’ll have t’use pliers or somethin’ to force open the lock if we’re gonna see what’s inside, won’t we?

Shu: That also makes me feel like I’ve lost, so I’d rather not.

This is a game of wits set up by my grandfather—I believe only those who have successfully, correctly unlocked it are qualified to read it.

I would like to try and decipher it. Hm, shall I try forming words using the alphabet…? P, E, T, R, U, C, H, I, O…

Mika: …? Where did ya get that word from?

Shu: It is the name of the protagonist from The Taming of the Shrew, the Shakespearean one. Hm… It doesn’t seem to be right, perhaps the female protagonist’s name?

K, A, T, H, E, R, I, N, A… No, the number of characters doesn’t line up.

Oh, that was a strange sound. It sounded like a tangle in the lock was triggered, but…

Shu: Hm! Look at this, Kagehira, a strange piece of metal has come out!

Mika: (Ahaha… Oshi-san sure looks cute, like a child playin’ investedly with a toy he got.)

(Maybe that’s why Grandfather left his diary here, to let his cute grandchild have fun with it. Nah, I’m prob thinkin’ too much into it.

Shu: Non! What are you grinning over? Help think with me!

Look. The piece of metal has something like a hint inscribed on it.

—[To My Beloved Lady]?

Mika: This is…

Shu: … …

Raffaello: “Fufu. What will you do, Shu-kun?”

“Your grandfather’s “Beloved Lady” should have been his wife—In other words, your grandmother.”

“What will you do if you put in her name and the lock did not open?”

Mika: …Shut up fer a moment. Oshi-san’s doin’ his best thinkin’ right now.

Raffaello: “My apologies. In the case your grandmother’s name does not unlock the, you may use my mother’s name first—”

Shu: —I was able to unlock it.

Mika: Ehh!?

T-thank goodness… So ya were able to unlock it with yer grandmother’s name, Oshi-san? Right, there’s no way Grandfather would be unfaithful—

Shu: No. I simply remembered what Grandfather used to say.

He would say he loved and respected all women equally.

In other words, the “Lady” in [To My Beloved Lady] technically refers to “all ladies”.

However, “WOMAN” and “GIRL” do not contain enough letters for the dial lock. So instead, I proposed this—

“MADEMOISELLE”.

Mika: Mademoise… Wha, Mado-nee?

Shu: Fufu, I didn’t expect to have her name come up here. Don’t you feel like it is fate of sorts, Kagehira?

I know it is imprudent of me, but I am getting a little excited.

Raffaello: “… …”

[ ☆ ]

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#raison d’être #raison d'etre #mika kagehira #shu itsuki #event #translation

[sixty-silver-wishes]

more "caligari" hcs. olsens edition because there's a Lot to unpack I think

the olsen family is one of the most influential in holstenwall, and has been around for many generations. as such, jane is under heavy pressure from her parents to live up to these expectations- and, due to her family's status, is the frequent recipient of marriage proposals from much of the town. she's also had a lot of "fake friends" for the same reason, and as a result, only feels truly comfortable around francis and alan, who have known her since childhood. of course, this complicates once she suspects they're competing for her attention.

dr. olsen and his wife (who I call gilda, after gilda langer, the actress whom the role of jane was initially written for) have a Very strained relationship. mrs. olsen came from a middle-class family, and was pressured by her own mother to marry her way up the social ladder. as a result, she married dr. olsen, who was previously divorced and at least twenty years older than her.

dr. olsen's had this whole thing about wanting to see jane get married and have kids before he dies. this is a problem, because she does not want to do either

they act like the perfect, respectable rich family on the outside, but their dysfunctionality is sort of an open secret. dr. olsen's always at work, mrs. olsen's having affairs, and jane can appear very cold and withdrawn to anyone except her two close friends, although she's really very anxious much of the time.

mrs. olsen is also constantly seeking validation in order to feel secure in an upper-class lifestyle, which is part of the reason why she places so much pressure on jane. she feels that everything jane does reflects on her parenting abilities, so she can be quite strict because she's afraid of being perceived as an imperfect mother/wife.

despite being a respected medical doctor, dr. olsen doesn't have the healthiest lifestyle habits; he smokes frequently and has a penchant for cheap sweets. mrs. olsen, on the other hand, is very conscious of health and etiquette trends- often pushing them onto jane- which can create some tension between them at times.

jane met francis and alan when they were children, and was introduced to them by her mother, who wanted her to exemplify "proper upbringing" to the "less fortunate children" in town as a sort of self-indulgent charity project. however, this backfired spectacularly, as the three became instant friends and would play together like normal children- stomping in mud puddles, picking up strange insects in the woods, etc. whenever francis and alan came over to their mansion, mrs. olsen would treat them well, but have a sort of disdain for having to host two lower-class children- especially francis, who was rambunctious and less well-behaved. alan was far more polite, and even comfortable with their etiquette standards, eager to participate in tea parties and ballroom dancing lessons. this would lead to the awkward situation of jane frequently being told to act more like alan- who proudly took it as a compliment, unaware of how damaging this was to her.

despite their social pressures, the olsens really do care about jane- or at least, they think they do. while they believe they're just trying to set her up for a secure and comfortable future, they're unaware of how lonely and anxious she is. mrs. olsen occasionally comes very close to figuring out how her daughter is feeling, but typically attributes the issue to thinking she's just spoiled and hasn't been disciplined well enough, or thinks she's depressed because she hasn't found the right match yet.

they're all. very repressed in some way or another. mrs. olsen hates her marriage, but believes that because it's what she's worked towards for so long, it's what she actually wants (she's just not good enough at it- but she's been doing everything right, so it must be jane's fault because she hasn't gotten married and their rules don't come naturally to her- but then if she was a good enough parent, jane wouldn't have any problems, right?). dr. olsen spends most of his time at work- and it's not because he wants to avoid seeing his wife (who doesn't even like him and is clearly seeing other men) and daughter (who always seems unhappy despite the fact she grew up rich), but because they depend on him as head of the house, right? and jane doesn't want to disappoint her parents, because she's an olsen, dammit. it's an honor just to be born into this family- even though her parents always remind her that they wanted a son. she wants to get married and have kids because that's what she was supposed to do, right? never mind the fact that her parents' marriage is miserable, and if she had kids, she'd be expected to put them through the same stress she's currently going through. but if that's not what she wants, then she'd be disappointing them- and the only reason why she was born in the first place was to make them proud.

jane has no idea what she wants to do with her life. she's actually quite good at chess, and enjoys it, but her mother discouraged her from being too good, in order to avoid humiliating any male opponents. she's been prepared her entire life to be given away to someone else, and doesn't know what else she could do outside of that.

jane was largely raised by the servants of the house. she was educated at home by a governess (whom she hated), but whenever she became too much to handle, her mother would hand her off to a maid or other servant to deal with. she grew quite close with some of the staff, learning which members would be more sympathetic to her, and which ones would side with her parents. she was taught by her mother not to cry at a young age, so whenever she was upset, she'd seek out one of the servants tasked with raising her instead, so she could cry to them. one of the maids would sneak her chocolates she wasn't allowed to have, in exchange for small trinkets or ribbons. they developed a friendship for a while, gossiping about her parents and their guests, but the maid was eventually fired because she was accused of stealing the trinkets, although they were small and relatively unimportant.

#the cabinet of dr. caligari #headcanons

[bihansthot]

Relationship Headcannons

Good afternoon, I thought that if you still love Bi Han and openly declare it, you won't mind other people's thoughts about it:

Bi Han and you see the general picture first, and only then supplement it with details. This is very useful in the self-development of two people. It will be easy for you to learn something new together.

Both you and he are ready to work on the relationship. Maybe, due to his upbringing, Bi Khan will not give much importance to small things, but he is always ready to discuss and work on it. In addition, if he is not satisfied with anything, he will say it directly.

I don't see any serious reasons for disputes between you. They may arise on domestic grounds, but you will quickly agree.

Sometimes he can be rude and straightforward, but he's not out of spite. Be more lenient with him, and soon he will become softer for you. For the rest, he is forever eternal ice cactus with puns.

At first glance, it seems that you have different values. But when you look at it in detail, you want the same thing, just in different forms.

I don't see him as a strong person in terms of relationships. He will express his love by solving your problems and protecting you. I think if you talk about your material desires, he will definitely buy or steal it.

I don't think he can cook. Something simple - yes. Anyone who knows how to turn on the whip can do this. He is more cleaning, will do it in a disgruntled face, but will.

Bi Han will stay logical, cool and focused on doing the best for you

He is prone to deep analysis, and at the same time misses any details, so his conclusions may be incorrect. For example, your friend gave you flowers. Bi han will start thinking that he should buy the same one, only more. He will forget that it was a gift for some holiday. It's not bad, sometimes. Just don't forget that he can think in another direction…

Sometimes he will be a narcissistic waffle. He will not accept anyone's opinion unless it is supported by evidence or facts.

I wrote earlier that he will solve your problems to express love. This is true, but you will have to say it directly, or change it in bold

In some moments, he looks like a psychopath. Be careful in difficult moments for him.

He won't want to go to crowded places with you. He's just not very comfortable there.

Bi Han, very respectful of personal boundaries. If you tell him not to talk about something, he won't. However, if he sees that you are not coping yourself, he will impose his help

About jealousy. Bi Han is not very good at emotions, and he knows it. He may start to think that you will prefer someone else, so he will become a bit of a cock.

He will be ready to do a lot for his family. He grew up in unfavorable conditions with limited resources, so he is convinced that there is no need to be ashamed of dirty deeds to provide for his loved ones. In the end, those who had it before also took it away from someone.

Under stress, he will run from one idea to another. They become more extroverted, enter into communication with other people and look for a solution together.

Have you ever seen kittens fighting ? That will be you with him. If you get hurt, then squeak. He will pull away in a moment and will look like a guilty cat

About psychopathy. He doesn't have it, just an accentuation of character. As a person with her, I can say that sometimes we ask strange questions and do not see the boundaries of social norms (Okay, we just don't care about them)

In some moments he is very conservative, and although he allows you to introduce him to the world of feelings and emotions, he will be adamant in some things

If you are told something rude, he will answer twice as rude and smarter. Have you seen his dialogues in part 11 and the scene in part 9 ? He clearly has a sharp tongue.

About your family. He will behave coldly, but quite courteously. Still, they are your parents and they need to be given their due. However, he will not bow either. If your parents are against this relationship, then he will simply steal you, and then come to the doorstep and say: "Have you lost your daughter? Alas, I recently found a wife, so I don't think you'll find your daughter. Have a nice day."

His concern will be a bit paternal.

Cute short things that make sense:

You will always win snowballs with him

You no longer need air conditioning in summer

If you quarrel with him during a walk, then you will just have a formidable and silent guard

Your ice cream will never melt

He is quite strong enough to carry you in his arms for the whole walk

And he is quite patient, so that he can walk around shopping in silence for at least a whole day

He may quarrel with neighbors about loud noises

Dress him as you want, he doesn't care

He's cute when he tries to prove that he's the best option for you

He will teach you how to skate, and if you don't succeed, he will start saying that the creator of this ice is clearly a moron

I do still love Bi-Han, I just don’t want to be part of the MK Kommunity anymore. I love that others still want to love him openly and write about him so thank you for these lovely headcanons.

#mortal kombat #bi han #sub zero #noob saibot #og sub zero #mk

[admirableadmiranda]

Hi.....just saw your random facts....can I ask your top 10 fav books (fiction) that you had? Sorry for asking another random ask.....Thanks....

No worries, anon! Love to talk about random things! It's a lot of fun!

Top ten books... it'll be top ten books at least of today. I could easily compile a top fifty.

Catwings series by Ursula K. Le Guin. Really simple children's stories that are some of the first books I can remember reading and are still some of my favorites.

The Hero and the Crown by Robin McKinley. A completely different heroine from so many I'd read as a young kid and she still stands out to me today. Just a beautiful comfort read.

Modaozushi by Mo Xiang Tong Xu. A much more recent entry into this list, but it has soared up to one of my favorite books of all time due to wonderful characters, beautiful complex plot and a something about it that continues to engage me after more than a year of focusing on it.

Ciara's Song by Andre Norton and Lyn McConchie. A Witch World book that is set mostly outside of the big plots, but is a story about an orphan who grows up to be happy even in the midsts of her world being at war and so much loss.

Dealing with Dragons/Calling on Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede. Two of the Enchanted Forest Chronicle books and I cannot pick one above the other. Dealing with Dragons is the funny and charming series of a princess who is utterly bored with her life and decides to go become the princess to a dragon instead. Calling on Dragons is the quest to recover a magical sword featuring a no-nonsense witch, the same princess who is now a queen, a clever magician, two cats and a rabbit who's manage to transform himself into a donkey. Makes me laugh and grin the whole time.

Corambis by Sara Monet (the last book in the Doctrine of Labyrinths series) Specifically just this one. After three books of the leads struggling to overcome the absolutely miserable upbringing they had combined with the miserable present day, they actually begin to make something of it and find some sort of peace and happiness all the while dealing with a mysterious clockwork engine that seems to be gearing up to try and kill everyone around them.

Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones. A lot of gently poking fun at typical fairy tale tropes combined with a very sassy narrator and a romance that leans into constant bickering that I actually enjoy.

The Forgotten Beasts of Eld by Patricia A. McKillip. This one I can't quite put my finger on why I love it so much other than that it is haunting. It is not the happiest of stories by any means, it is about a young woman who has lived alone with only many mystical animals called by her family who is in search of a mysterious bird called the Liralen, one of the last strange beasts not in her menagerie, while below the kingdoms seek to control her and her mysterious animals in their wars.

Deerskin by Robin McKinley. If the previous book is somewhat haunting, this one definitely is. It is a retelling of the fairytale of Deerskin/Donkeyskin/Catskin, where the fairest queen in the world dies and makes her husband promise to not marry anyone again unless they are as beautiful as her. He swears that he will not, but cannot find anyone until their daughter comes of age and resembles her mother exactly. Deerskin is a much darker take on a dark fairytale, yet there is some light and hope and it ends on a gentle note. Not a story for the faint of heart, but still one of my favorites all the same.

Sunshine by Robin McKinley. If at this point you haven't guessed that she's one of my favorite authors, then I don't know what to tell you. Sunshine is a bit of a departure from the others, it is a modern day story set in a world in which vampires and werewolves and such are real, and our protagonist is an ordinary baker who makes the mistake of traveling out on her own to a lake where she is shortly snatched away by vampires to torment an old enemy of theirs, where it turns out that Sunshine is a little more than they were prepared for. Full of lavish descriptions of food, a lot of sass and snark and a world that gives you just enough description to be starving for more.

Thank you so much anon! I hope you enjoyed my desperate attempt to wrangle all my faves into some sort of order.

#asks #anon #anon asks #I could talk all day about my book collection #I've only read like half of them #but eventually I will read them all!

[suugrbunz]

Hi! I wanna send this in just cause maybe my perspective could be helpful..

Totally understand that! For me, idk… Most of my friends have moved away to different countries over the years but I’ve never needed to socialise much to be happy, but I think that’s kinda rare so I understand how you’re feeling. Yes, try and get to know some good people! Sometimes, some friends last years and some friends only last an hour - like, you’ll just never meet them again, but they can have a good effect on your life. That’s happened to me so many times, and it’s good :)

Ah, I am sorry I contributed to the sadness, though. To clarify, it’s not you I’m leaving; it’s everyone I talk to online. To tell you the truth, online socialising is not for me. I come from a low-tech family; using devices to contact people kept at an absolute minimum in my upbringing, and tbh, I’ve realised I’d like to try keep it like that.

Lack of spare time contributes too.

Hope that maybe my reasons for leaving social internet can potentially spark something good in your life - maybe it can inspire you to, instead of going online, pick up an instrument or try a new kind of food or spend quality time with a loved one.. Maybe 🌸💕

Be so good to yourself and keep writing. Maybe and hopefully we will talk again someday, maybe not - I have a fear of promises, tbh - but either way, we’ve helped one another and had a good time, and may the rest of the year be good too. I’ll remember you 🫂💝

Signing off and going to make a nice breakfast for my family instead of procrastinating online (see? It’s already gonna have a good effect :))

💝anon

I'm the opposite— my mom studied IT after she quit nursing. I went to an online school due the aforementioned bullying. I knowing basic coding. It's been very present in my life. I have been aiming for a new hobby. The idea so far is to buy an old guitar and begin to learn some riffs and what not. I've had the funniest conversations with people so far. I think someone was just quickly learning about me to see if he wanted a relationship or not. Very strange. He decided to quit talking to me after I said I didn't want to wear ballet flats due to my ankle and feet pain... Plus... They're completely ugly. I think he was asking to make sure I was shorter than him but we're already the same height?? I don't know very strange experience that I'll laugh about for a long time to come.

#💝 anon

[missmcspooks]

THE MURDER OF LAUREN HUGELMAIER: HE BLAMED IT ON COLD MEDICINE

On September 1st, 2017, a beautiful young woman’s life was taken by her husband, a man who she used to trust and love with every fiber of her being, and never thought in a million years would do something as heinous as this. This is the story about Lauren Hugelmaier and Matthew Phelps, and how their marriage spiraled out of control, as soon as that ring was put on her finger. 

A Brief Background of Lauren and Matthew

Lauren, who was 29 at the time of her death, was born and raised in Kentucky. She had a very close and loving family, and lived with her parents, Laurie and Dale Hugelmaier, and two sisters. Lauren was especially close with her father, and one of her sisters, Beth. She was a friendly, caring, kind, and smart girl. Her family were Christians and very religious, and they ended up moving to North Carolina before she graduated. Overall, she had a very loving and supportive family. Lauren had met Matthew, who was 28 when he committed the murder, in school while they were teenagers, however, they weren’t super close at the time. Matthew had a very rough upbringing. He didn’t have the same kind of family that Lauren had. Infact, he barely had a family at all. His father wasn’t in his life at all, and his mother only around half the time. His mother remarried a number of times, and Matthew was never able to form a bond with any of his step-fathers. Due to the dysfunctional home life he had, he began acting out, and was eventually living with his grandparents full time. 

When Matthew was in high school he ended up making friends with the wrong crowd. He and his friends began using drugs and alcohol, specifically using Coricidin Cough and Cold medicine. Most cough medicines can give someone a high feeling when taken in large doses, and can even be addicting when abused and used improperly for long-term use. Matthew’s grandparents took him out of public school and enrolled him in a private Christian Academy in hopes to change his behavior and get him back on track to live a decent life. Thankfully, it ended up working, for the most part. He stopped abusing drugs and alcohol, and he got his grades up and did very well in school. He did however, continue to abuse cough syrup for the rest of his life. 

A Blossoming Relationship, Life Before Marriage 

The two ended up reconnecting on social media. It went from DMing on instagram, to texting, to talking on the phone and doing video chats. They continued this for a while, until one day Matthew decided to move to North Carolina so they could end the long distance. He spent a lot of time with Lauren’s family, and her family loved him and thought he was amazing, for the most part. Lauren’s mother adored him and treated him like her own son, however, Lauren’s father had his suspicions about him. He thought that there was just something off about him, and he thought their relationship was moving a little fast, since he just got up and moved to North Carolina to be with her when they were only talking online for a couple months. His suspicions were proven when they invited him over for family game night. They were playing 20 questions, and it eventually came out that he was actually married once before. Everyone thought it was kind of strange that he hadn't mentioned this before, and wasn’t really talking much about it. They would ask him questions, but he chose not to answer most of them. Lauren got over it and put it behind her, but the rest of her family remained cautious about him. 

The more time they spent together, the more they fell for each other. Matthew just seemed like the perfect man for her, on paper at least. They had a great connection, similar hobbies, he got along with her family, her friends liked him, and they did so much together, including taking trips and vacations together. He told her that he wanted to become a pastor, and Lauren loved this. This news kind of sealed the deal, and she knew this was the man she wanted to spend her life with, and became engaged in 2015. 

Their Relationship Began To Crumble… 

The newly engaged couple had an engagement party, but it was mainly Lauren’s family and friends who attended. Matthew’s mother showed up, but she did something that really hurt Lauren and put a sour taste in her family's mouth. She showed up wearing a white dress, and everyone knows you never show up to someone's engagement party, or to their wedding, wearing white. Throughout their engagement, there was a lot of conflict between Lauren and his mother. She just really didn’t like Lauren for some reason, and didn’t think she was good enough for her son. It could’ve been that she was also jealous of Lauren, for her beauty, for her success in life, for the kind of family she came from. Lauren tried to put their issues behind her, and continued with the wedding. The two became married the following year in November, 2016. Lauren and Matthew both loved Harry Potter and Star Wars, and decided to have a Star Wars themed wedding, having the best men hold lightsabers and whatnot. 

However, their marriage began to crumble as soon as the wedding was over. They began having many fights, and there was so much stress between the two of them. One of the strains in their marriage came from Matthew’s mother. Six months after they got married, they went to Kentucky to visit his family. His mother called Lauren and told them they were going to be doing a family photoshoot, and everyone needed to wear blue. Lauren was excited and picked out a few nice outfits to bring with her, but when they arrived… She couldn’t even participate in the photoshoot at all. It turns out that the men were wearing blue, and the women were wearing white. Lauren was crushed, and even though Matthew said his mom just might’ve accidentally misinformed her, Lauren and her family knew that she did it on purpose. However, that wasn’t nearly the biggest issue they had in their marriage. 

Lauren’s friends who were interviewed said that they were having major financial troubles. Lauren was very hardworking her entire life, and worked two jobs while married to Matthew. The first one being an auditor for a Fortune 500 Company, and the second being a babysitter and working in a Church Daycare. She also had her own little side business where she would make candles and sell them on MLM. She even had a youtube channel where she’d advertise these candles. Matthew was always between jobs, and never seemed to hold one down for more than a few months. The couple had a lot of debt, but Matthew was the one who was causing them to drown in bills. He spent tons of money, especially at Best Buy where he spent thousands of dollars. He would even steal money right out of Lauren’s purse, and would take money out of their savings account that was used for vacations. Before she married Matthew, Lauren had around 10 thousand dollars saved in her account. At the time of her death, she had a little less than a thousand. Along with the financial issues, they even started doubting each other when it came to being faithful. Matthew was definitely cheating on Lauren, and she had a valid reason for being jealous. Matthew however, had no real reason to accuse Lauren of being unfaithful. The only reason he had stemmed from jealousy, when he thought a mutual friend at their church had feelings for her and vice versa, and she didn’t. 

Lauren’s friends, including her sister Beth, all mentioned that she would text them all the time about her stress, and told them she was really considering leaving Matthew, and that she wasn’t happy anymore, and he turned into a whole different person. She just wanted to keep trying at first, because she’s religious and didn’t want to divorce. All of that changed one night when she was cooking dinner for Matthew while being on the phone with her sister. There was a knock on the door, Matthew answered it and looked back at Lauren and said he was leaving to go hangout with a friend named Valerie. Lauren was upset and said that she was cooking dinner and he said he would be back soon, and he left. She waited around for him to come back, until she received a text from him… “Just eat dinner without me. I’m having way too much fun with Valerie.” This was now Lauren’s breaking point. She texted her sister and said that she was finally done with him for good. 

But It Was Too Late… 

On September 1st, 2017, 911 dispatchers received a concerning phone call from Matthew Phelp’s at 1 AM. Matthew told them that he had awoken to his wife, dead on the floor, with blood everywhere, and a knife in his bed. He told them he felt like he killed her, but he had no memory of doing anything, and blamed it on taking too much cough medicine before bed. 

“I had a dream, and then I turned on the lights and she’s dead on the floor. I have blood all over me and there’s a bloody knife on the bed and I think I did it. I can’t believe this, I can’t believe this. I don’t even know what time it is. Yeah, I can see her. She’s 29. She’s not breathing. Oh my god.” 

He then starts to break down crying on the phone before telling the dispatcher the rest of the story. 

“I took more medicine than I should have. I took, I took Coricidin Cough and Cold because I know it can make you feel good. A lot of times I can’t sleep all night.”

Shortly after the 911 call was made, police arrived at the scene and found Lauren, covered in blood, lying in a fetal position on the floor of their bedroom, holding clumps of her own hair in both of her hands. Matthew was arrested immediately. Lauren’s autopsy confirmed that she was stabbed 123 times. After the police found her body, they went to her parents home to notify them about what happened. When her mother answered the door, she knew something terrible had happened, considering police were showing up extremely early in the morning. Her mother asked the police if it’s Lauren, the officer said yes. She asked if she was dead, the officer said yes. Then she asked if it was Matthew… The officer asked her why she would ask him that, and she told him that she just “had a feeling.” When the officer said that it was him, she broke down in tears. During the investigation back at the crime scene, investigators believed that the crime scene didn’t seem authentic. They claimed that the cold medicine looked like it was purposely placed there to make it seem like he actually took it, the knife was set on the bed exactly like he claimed it to be, and everything at the scene just looked staged. It doesn’t help that there was little to no blood on Matthew at all, besides a few drops being on his feet and his shoes. Investigators said that there was no way he couldn’t have any blood on him after a brutal murder like that. Lastly, his entire demeanor at the crime scene was strange. On the phone he was frantic and crying, but when the police were questioning him in person, he seemed quite calm and put together, he seemed almost emotionless. 

Matthew’s Dark Side Comes To Light

One reason Lauren fell for Matthew was due to how devoted he was to Christianity, so it became quite a shock to Lauren and her family when they found out about what he was interested in, and her parents became very concerned. Matthew was obsessed with a movie called “American Psycho,” which is about a serial killer. He actually has an Instagram account called “marty_radical” where there’s a lot of disturbing pictures, including Matthew dressing up as a character from American Psycho. He would also heavily talk about Satan, Demons, Devil worship, and death in general. In an interview with his friend, he claimed that Matthew told him that he really wanted to know how it felt to kill someone. The last photo he posted to his account, on the night before the murder, he wrote, “Everyone thinks I’m a serial killer #foundanangeltokill.” The police also found a journal that Matthew head, which talks a lot about his insecurities with his marriage, thinking he’s not good enough for Lauren, how he doesn’t feel good enough for her family and talks about the jealousy he has about the kind of family she had, and he talked a lot about his depression. 

During questioning he admitted that he had unknowingly been abusive towards his ex wife and did things like unknowingly dragging her out of bed. He also claimed that she had cheated on him, which is why he was very paranoid about Lauren. During an interview with his ex wife, Brooke, she stated that she was not the one who cheated in their relationship, he was. She also confirmed that he was very abusive towards her and he scared her. Matthew also caused them a lot of financial troubles, and generally wasn’t contributing to anything in their life together. 

Investigators also interviewed their neighbor, who admitted that she and Matthew had a bond at one point. They would often chat and flirt with each other, and they bonded over their similar problems with depression and anxiety. However, she began to distance herself when he started talking to her about disturbing things, such as death and suicide. She also had a gun and a concealed carry license, and he walked up to her one night and said, “You know, I can take that gun from you and kill somebody with it.” 

Trial and Sentencing

 During the trial defense didn’t really have a leg to stand on, and had an overwhelming amount of evidence against them. It didn’t help that Matthew was stated to be completely aware of what he was doing, and there wasn’t nearly enough cold medicine in his system to cause any kind of crime, let alone committing a brutal murder. The creators of the cold medicine he was taking even made a statement that there has been a lot of studies on their product, and no one has ever done anything like this before. Lauren’s parents also made statements on her behalf, and investigators found questions in his internet searches, asking “How loopy does Coricidin make you?” and “Has anyone ever been high from Coricidin?” 

Investigators also did a luminal test around their apartment to try and find any blood that might’ve been cleaned up before the 911 call was made. There were traces of blood all over the bathroom, on the sink, the walls, everywhere. 

Matthew took a plea deal on October 5th, 2018, to committing first degree murder, and was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. No one came to support Matthew during his time in court, or during his sentencing. Matthew even stood up to give Lauren’t family an apology for what he did to her, and what he did to them, but her parents said his apology means nothing, and they will never forgive him for taking their daughter away. 

#true crime #true story #truecrime #true crime blog #true crime community #Crime #murder #Writerscommunity #writing #writers on tumblr #blog #blogging #blogger #blog post #blogpost #abuse

[obscureoperations]

Threesome with Martin and Abraham

That would be an interesting dynamic to say the least. I can see Abe doming the shit outta you while Martin's just there for moral support lmao. No but honestly, this took me a minute bc I was trying to imagine how this might actually play out.

How would Martin feel about sharing his partner despite the other person looking exactly like him? Would he feel self conscious being nude and performing in front of someone else? Would the two be involved with each other? (I doubt it)

Abe on the other hand would be cocky as ever, completely willing to exploit Martin's hesitation. Asking him why he was sitting so far away,  I can see him throwing little backhanded compliments just to get a reaction. Basically flattering himself with the bonus of watching Martin turn into a blushing stuttering mess.

I wanted this to be a scene..but it turned out to be a few hcs

It  took Martin an inordinately short amount of time to get over the initial hesitation. Never in his wildest dreams. The thought of sharing you alone should have made him sick. Being there in the same room.. on the bed while another man took you over? Absolutely not..but Abe had a way about him. He couldn't understand why the other man looked so familiar. He knew for a fact that there was no relation. He had the family tree imprinted into his mind by age six...Abe was nowhere in the bloodline.

The first time it happened, the whole situation was a bit of a headrush.He discovered that Abe was identical to him in numerous ways. He loathed the fact that it was the first thing he noticed, Abe even called him out for staring. Surreal..it was like watching the two of you in front of a mirror.. why was he talking to you like that? He could have never imagined speaking to you in the way Abe did...the fact that you seemed to get off to it.

He sat at the foot of the bed, completely nude with his hands cupped over his erection. The noises that escaped your lips caused his ears to burn and his cock to ache. He couldn't glance away if he tried. Abe seemed to know your body in a way that was truly unnerving. He noted the way your arm would reach towards him absentmindedly. At one point, he finally took your hand, crawling forward to draw you into a kiss. That was when the situation seemed to solidify in his brain. Martin just really needed your mouth.

He found a way to completely ignore that Abe was there. Kissing you was truly a distraction.The way you clung to him, he could feel each wave of release as it wracked through your familiar frame. Abe sure liked to talk a lot. He released you just long enough for you to reposition yourself and crawl over to Martin "Go on y/n... suck on it."

Abe never felt any ill feelings towards Martin, if anything, he seemed to be fascinated by the boy. Just how long had the two of you been together? Why did the sight of his face seem to excite him? Hedonistic in nature due to his upbringing.. there wasn't much that could actually phase him. Like doing it in front of a mirror.. he found himself wanting to watch the young man cum.

Martin was strange, a complete enigma. They shared the same face, but Martin was different. The gentle way he handled you... all soft touches and whispered words-- he found himself wanting to get the both of you off. Was that what he really looked like? He found himself fascinated at the ways Martin could mold you against his body. Everything flowed between you so naturally. He would lay back against the pillows, erection in hand --the sight of the two of you fueling his fantasy.

Overstimulated to say the least.. at one point you wondered what you had gotten yourself into. The weight of Martin's gaze overshadowed whatever Abe's tongue was doing at that moment. How had you gotten yourself into that situation? Martin sat there at the foot of the bed, all the while some strange man continued to work you over. All tongue moving over heated flesh..the sound of your arousal caused your cheeks to burn.

Martin was watching you, but he still hadn't said a word. Did he finally regret the proposition? The bed springs creak as he crawls over to you, lightly cupping your cheeks as he draws you into a kiss.

#martin 1977 #martin 1978 #martin mathias #midnight 1982 #im trying to write more y’all 😬👀

[semper-legens]

5. The Book Eaters, by Sunyi Dean

Owned: No, library Page count: 295 My summary: Hidden in the shadows, the Book Eaters lurk. There are six Families across Britain, creatures that look human but are not quite the same, eaters of books and possessed with strange powers. Family life is all that Devon has known. But when her son Cai is born as a Mind Eater, she knows she will do anything to keep him safe. Even if it means betraying everything she holds dear… My rating: 4/5 My commentary:

You can totally judge a book by its cover. I will die on this hill. Covers are there to get you interested in a book! Maybe not judging a book by its cover was a valid comment to make back in the day, but nowadays, book covers are meant to stand out and to entice the reader in a few ways. Anyway, I saw that this book was called 'the Book Eaters', and I just grabbed the fuck out of it. I eat books. I devour books. Surely, this is a book about me? Well, as the summary above could tell you, this is about literal book eaters, people who subsist on literally eating books and absorbing their knowledge. The result is an urban fantasy conspiracy thriller that is about a lot of things - patriarchy, gender, parenthood, survival, trauma, and just what you will do if the ones you love are in danger. I ended up enjoying it way more than I thought I would, and I'd totally recommend it to anyone who thinks any of this sounds interesting.

Our protagonist is Devon, a young woman who is one of the six book eater Families. As women are uncommon in book eater Families, and the window of fertility so much smaller, they have an arrangement where the daughters of Families are married to young scions of the Family houses, bear them a child, raise it for three years, then are remarried. This usually happens twice, as this is the amount of time the woman is fertile. Devon's first child, a girl, is lost to her - her son is a mind eater, doomed to be used as an attack dog by the Families due to his dangerous nature. So she takes her son, and she runs. There's a lot of twists and turns which I will not spoil, but Devon herself is a really interesting character. She ends up having to make a lot of compromises for herself and for her son, trying to find the happy medium where those she love are free and safe to exist and have a chance of happiness. She's desperate, and her personality is much influenced by that desperation, but she's not a wholly reactive character - she makes plans, she does things, and she's incredibly engaging both in the flashbacks to her younger self and the ongoing plot with her older self.

Gender is a huge theme in the book. It's one of those classic patriarchal situations - women are prized, but kept ignorant of most of the details of their world and history, while the more abundant men are seen as disposable, but have all the power and freedom of movement in their world. Sexuality also comes into it. Jarrow, Devon's friend from the second Family she's married to, is asexual, and mentions that he would never be chosen to be the groom in his family because of it. Devon is actually a lesbian. She likes girls, but because of her isolated upbringing has barely ever met any other women until she escapes, and has never actually mentioned any attraction to men. It's not a huge part of the book, but it also underscores how controlling and draconian the Families are. These people never get to choose their own paths in life; Devon's destiny is as a mother and a wife and that's what she has to do because that's what the Family needs. Jarrow is destined to be an outcast, he's not 'useful' in the same way that Devon and her brothers are. And, speaking of her brothers, her brother Ramsey is drafted into the Knights, the group who manage the mind eaters. He's been raised in this toxic masculine environment, this horribly abusive world where the strong survive and the best men rise to the top, and it's fucked him up beyond repair. And we the readers can see that, but he thinks he's doing fine, and it's so obviously messed up.

Ultimately, however, this is a book about survival. Devon has to do so much to survive. She's a traitor and a murderer, she lures humans into her home to feed to her son, and she knows that's messed up but also her five year old son needs to eat, and doesn't deserve to starve because of the choices made by people around him. Because yeah, there's a way for mind eaters to live without eating minds, but the means to do this is heavily controlled and Devon has no way to access it. It's horrible, it's so horrible, but Devon is living in panic mode and doing all that she can to ensure her and her son's survival because that's all she has left. I don't think you're meant to agree with all she does, but damn if you don't understand her reasons for doing it. And that's how I like my morally ambiguous fiction, you know?

Next up, two college girls find each other through a sea of miscommunication.

#The Book Eaters #Sunyi Dean #bookblr #book blog #book blogger #4

[blackleopardgirl]

Why isn't Arlind in the manosphere? an interesting discussion and look into upbringing and experiences in a young man's life.

November 19th, 2023

  I wanted to discuss this as one of my last posts for tonight, I finished my homework for tonight so why not? But I used to wonder as I became more interested and entrenched in the manosphere and all of these different pills and perspectives, Why isn’t Arlind in the red or black pill movement? Arlind is such a ‘normie’. He is so kind, yet he isn’t gullible and foolish, but due to his face, I wondered why he isn’t a part of any of those manosphere communities because of his upbringing, lack of dating girls constantly, sort of lack of sexual encounters with women, and lack of photos of his face showing on social media. He hides his face almost always on social media, and of course, that’s always a tall tale sign that a person doesn’t find themselves attractive. After looking at his younger cousin’s Facebook and Instagram accounts, it made sense to me that he grew up with women in his family, women like his cousins, he has two cousins that he’s close with that are pretty women who he’s been close with and this probably made him feel like pretty girls are just people, which we are. Obviously it's different because it's not the same as being attracted to women vs your cousin. 

He also grew yp in a culture and society technically where men don’t have to be that attractive to find a very pretty woman to date and marry. Many Alb@nian men don’t even have to have great teeth, or be tall, or even good looking. Most of their men aren’t attractive, yet they still date and marry these men, so as a guy growing up, you don’t think there’s anything wrong with you being below average in looks. 

Lastly, it’s because he was never shy around women in general. Being funny, and well liked helped him throughout middle school but especially high school. He was so comfortable talking to women who were pretty in his classes at high school. He even tried to talk to me in high school. He didn’t care about how he looked, he still tried. This helps, and for whatever reason he doesn’t get discouraged by getting turned down and ignored in social media DM’s from women. Also, he dated Alayah, a very pretty girl, he talks to, follows, and communicates with attractive Alb@nian women on twitter/instagram/ and probably other social media sites which makes him think he can pull, which technically, he can. 

All of this doesn’t radicalize him, or make him angry at women. It makes him a regular, normie guy. Also, the fact that he’s prioritized his health, eating, and going to the gym regularly helps him out. His body looks great, his haircut looks better, and he has grown facial hair. His beard makes him look great, his eyebrows, eye color, and etc are natural facial features that he has that make him look very manly and attractive. Arlind looks better now and it helps that he’s genuinely cool and not strange. He can take no for an answer and still has a genuinely good head on his shoulders that maybe women are attracted to, I know I was attracted to it. (Sure there are some attributes about him that aren’t the best like his communication skills- and sometimes being pushy, him being nonchalant. But that will change when he actually dates a woman he’s attracted to and wants to marry someday.) 

It’s an interesting phenomenon to see what can radicalize a man into that kind of sphere on the Internet. And it just takes his personal experiences in life, with women, and looking at the right content at the right time. 

[sweetmage]

Does your Character have new or old phobias or superstitions that affect their story? (31) for Rhidyl :)

HI! Thank you so much for the ask(s) 😊✨ And the kind words 🥺

31.) Does your Character have new or old phobias or superstitions that affect their story?

Due to his drow upbringing and being trained and conditioned for espionage since he first learned to walk, he is naturally distrusting and always trying to get a leg up on others even when it isn't necessary (and is even detrimental and destructive in some cases). During act 1 he is thoroughly convinced that everyone is out for themselves (as is he, at this point) and that if he doesn't stay two steps ahead and play them first, they will prove a threat to him and his own goals. This results in several situations where he angers his companions, causes unnecessary bloodshed, or deceives and betrays innocent people. He mellows out a LOT and learns to trust more from the end of act 1 onwards, though. 32.) What's your Character's experience with and opinion of Volo?

Oh, he is a BIG fan lol. After his leash was cut and he earned his freedom from his family, reading Volo's more informative books were his first (incredibly inaccurate, though he was mostly aware of that fact) step in getting a grasp on surface life beyond the more technical stuff his training had afforded him. He gained an even better and more human (for lack of a better term, since Rhidyl isn't a human) perspective from speaking with him personally and developed a bit more of an interest in magic through him (though Gale also greatly helped with that, of course!) He was also really drawn to his eccentricities and manner of writing and speaking and his vivid and grandiose descriptions of the mundane. Rhidyl is a writer himself and a collector of notes, manuscripts, letters, and more so he was quite fascinated by him and honored to meet him. Though, due to his own nature, from an outsider's point of view it would look like they can't stand each other but Rhidyl is just following the social cues he's putting out and speaking just as flippantly and arrogantly and squabbling with him over petty things😅He grew to consider him a friend and a fine traveling companion until he left in act 2. Needless to say, it was an honor to brutally lose an eye to him and he wears the outfit he gave him all the time.

23.) What are your Character's thoughts on the dream visitor?

In act 1 it progress rather quickly from wholly distrusting to sympathy and a slight connection. His guardian was a drow so that, combined with the fact that he has never had a dream before (as described in this other response) set him on high alert, especially while he was still actively paranoid about being tracked down by his family or their allies and dragged back to the Underdark (since he was essentially their 'property' and had gone rogue). However, the very thing that made him distrust this strange man was the same thing that brought them closer. Rhidyl isn't usually the sympathetic type, but he has faced a lot of pain and traumas as a drow (and a male one at that) so seeing the pain and sadness in another really stirred something in him. By the end of act 1 he still keeps him at arms length and refuses the tadpoles, but he is more receptive to him and more at ease in his presence.

#bg3 spoilers #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #jun answers #jun rambles #oc: rhidyl

[leftit]

I don't fully understand why most of the adults around me in elementary school treated me as if they hated me. I was aloof to most people, probably due at least partly to my upbringing with my parents, and I showed no great enthusiasm for anything, because emotional displays always terrified me, which could be seen as me not caring, but why would my teachers assume that me, at 8 years old, was anything more than loveless? Did they forget that children are especially capable of change or did they not see it?

I did not listen to authority well, because I learned that authority used power unfairly. If someone in a position of power did something that didn't make sense, I'm positive that I either wouldn't really listen to them, or that my dissatisfaction would show on my face. Maybe that's it, they felt I could not be disciplined? Their hate for me really hurts me sometimes. I don't think any child should be treated the way that I was.

There are a few events that I really remember highlighted this. One of my best friends at the time was a kid who I'll call B. He was labeled a "bad kid" by many of the teachers, and by most of the students. It was obvious that he had adhd, though I did not know what this was at the time, and he spoke of a horrible family life, his father left them, his mother had drug and alcohol problems, and at the age of 8 or 9 he was pretty much fending for himself. He was a kind boy, impulsive, but sweet, though he was, on occasion, so blunt and unaware of social taboo that he would get into trouble with others. He was punched in the face once by another student because he accidentally called her fat, for example. I think I felt a lot like him inside, although I always tried my best to behave, since I saw how he was exiled almost from education entirely by these teachers who hated his inability to listen, which was, to them I suppose, a rebellion. When I thought about his future, I remember getting the impression that he would either become something like a wonderful, strange scientist, (he had a scientific mind) or that he would be doomed to fail, doomed to take after his mother. Sadly, he turned out to be the latter. I think that this was inevitable given how he was treated by the adults in school, however.

"It's not our fault if some of the kids are misbehaving. We must put an end to it, we must do what we are here to do regardless of any outcries, any calls for help or understanding." Was the overall driving force of the management, and many of the counselors when I worked at summer camp. They may have hated me there for the same reasons as my teachers in elementary school hated me. I did my best to help the students who needed my help, but I was stretched very thin, and saw, and was concerned (to the point of total despair and mental collapse on occasion) that one human being was incapable of understanding all of the kids on the level that the few may have needed. I didn't want to see anyone turn out like B, and didn't want to treat anyone how I was treated. This anxiety weighed heavily on me, so nightly, I brainstormed ways that I could do more in specific situatuons, and generally, with the groups I was counseling. This prevented me from ever sleeping well that summer, but I did not have the intuition for children that some people seem to, so I had to really work through all of these issues in my mind, that seemed to come so naturally to others. When I asked for assistance from others, they either didn't know what to do, or they dismissed me for whatever reason. I'm sure most of them were very stressed too. I don't blame them, but by the end, the administration there openly hated me, and talked often about how awful I was at counseling, and how I didn't care. I resigned myself to this image, after failing to change it, and, loathing them at this point, did not care what impression I made on them. I simply did what I felt was right, sometimes making silly mistakes, well-meaning and sleep-deprived. There were a few times where a child came to me, and told me that one of the administration people "ranted" about me when they were with them. Hearing this was actually sort of nice. It felt like they were really the ones who "gave up".

I don't like how similar these situations are! And it makes me sad to see how this awful behavior by people in positions of authority continues, and how in that position, one feels so helpless, and overwhelmed by the sheer amount of personalities, and worse, the authority over us. A teacher of a child likely feels the same, the same pressure that children feel under them, and also the pressure on them to be a good leader from the children. It feels impossible to be a good teacher if these are the circumstances, though I met a few who were exceptions. I wish I knew what it was that made them different, perhaps I will analyze this further at another time. I'm very sleepy.