#Also Peter is funny. Sorry not sorry.

[portuguesedisaster]

Peter and Martin are so done with each other

#the magnus archives #tma #carol listens to the magnus archives. #Mag 134 #I love it. Go Martin!! Annoy Peter! #Also Peter is funny. Sorry not sorry. #But also stop manipulating Martin. Don't like it

[angelyuji]

this is my peter parker

#angelthots #yandere spiderman #yandere peter parker #yandere peter parker x reader #peter parker x reader #sorry for all the shitposting #i see funny things and immediately want to share it #AND ALSO MATT???????? YEAHHHHHH STTALKER MATT IS MY FAVVORITE

[yuli-ra]

we used to be a proper country

#it's so funny to me when people say the 2010s fancast was unrealistically hot and then turn around and put another hot newer one instead #like I'm sorry to tell you this but Adam Driver is also hot as Snape as young Alan Rickman and Louis Garrell 💀 #as if people don't go crazy over every slightly attractive european guyon the internet 🤨 #i do love me some desi James tho #I would like to see some plus size Peter cast actually #marauders #sirius black #remus lupin #james potter #peter pettigrew #anti marauders fandom #my thoughts #lily evans #severus snape

[pbnmj]

Genuinely curious, what’s up with Noir’s age? And what does it have to do with his 08/09 run? ((You may ignore if you wish :D))

i no longer have to do an extremely long explaination about comics noir because it has already been done here, by foolsocracy!!!!!!! really great breakdown of his very vague age, which is never said outright in the 08-09 run, only implied!! my own personal take on this is that he's 17-turning-18 in the first one, just about graduated high school but not able to afford college (see the panel below LOL)

this also got a little longer than i thought it would, so under the cut for the rest of it! the tl:dr is "itsv!noir is not the same as comics!noir, and people saying that he's 19 isn't strictly true. to me, he's around 30!"

eyes without a face (the 09 run!!) only takes place 8 months after, in september 1933, which makes peter 18-turning-19. this is more of a headcanon though!! (see the noir birthday poll, which made me a noir-is-a-december-baby truther)

(peter being a libra is mentioned once in the first issue of amazing spider-man (2015), mostly as a punchline, and a specific date of october 10th was given in another issue that i have lost. other media, like with the mcu, has his birthday on august 10th. but to me noir is a sagittarius and you cannot pry that from me)

the 2020 run of noir begins establishing the year as 1939, making peter around his mid-20s, and 25 if you believe me on the 'peter was 17 in noir 2008' LOL.... i won't lie though i haven't read this one properly i very quickly skimmed so pinch of salt regarding my takes on the 2020 run

noir being in his teens during the first original runs is why "itsv!noir is 17-19" goes around so often! i've seen that on tumblr, twitter AND on tiktok and i don't mind what people hc, but it has become a pet peeve when people say it like its canon even though it's never been mentioned by the writers or the art book. itsv!noir is similar to his comic counterpart, but his differences in his origin story make me interpret him as a different noir (like how peter b.'s dimension is 616B, making him... 90214B?)

again, we are straying from itsv canon/etc here because i'm deranged, but i personally hc noir as being 32! some of my friends think he's in his mid-20s, others think he's older, but really the only reason is that 32 is the midpoint between the other two peter parkers: ripeter was 26 and peter b is 38. he's also voiced by nic cage, which makes me think older in the first place!

i just like the idea that he's more experienced that ripeter, but hasn't gone through as much as peter b. he spends most of the movie being broody ("moral ambiguity of your actions!", "matches burn down to my fingertips", etc etc), or snarkier than you'd expect ("it's that easy" "who are you again?" "you gonna fight or are you just bumping gums" etc etc). he also very sweetly tells everyone that he loves them before he leaves !!! i feel like it can in fact be in character for a peter parker in his late 20-early 30s, distanced from his tragedies in his own world by time (he doesn't forget them, that's different !) being able to look out for the spiders around him.

okay now we are VERY deep into hc territory, but it makes him able to balance out the rest of the itsv spider-gang as an older-brother figure who's able to guide peni, miles and gwen but also be able to act as a voice of reason for peter b. and ham if the sitauation calls for it. that being said noir is still peter parker and is therefore capable of spider-esque tomfoolery, which can lead to him misjudging the need for a snarky one liner ("this is a pretty hard core origin story"). my characterisation of him is also very inspired by heyitsspiderman, the itsv fic that changed me for the better, and noir isn't even in it that much LOL

veering back into itsv!noir's age and your actual question though: he's always read older in the movies, and not at all 17-19. noir is always going to be around 30 (32 if i have to give a number) to me!! if anything, he did go through the same kind of 'canon events' as comics noir did, but is an older and more experienced version of him, with tweaks to the backstory (like a radioactive spider instead of a spider-god, and webshooters instead of organic webbing). there are reasons ofc to see him being younger (egg creams are non-alcoholic, and that if it's 1933, his comicsverse self would be 18-19 too) . however you must consider that sony didn't expand on this and therefore it's up to fan interpretation and also that

#this kind of turns into meta . sort of . sorry about that #and i know some people take those jokes noir makes as like. just very blunt observations of what is happening #i personally believe they are jokes that aren't landing. or just him being a bit annoying <3 i love him for this #i can talk forever and forever about movie noir. its how i got into him in the first place . picked me up and swept me away #and now i overthink and read too much into his like. 6 mins of screentime #also the rich beautiful itsv noir backstory that exists only in my mind..... which is mostly the same #just with small tweaks and adjustments. its MY SIDE CHARACTER and I GET TO CHOOSE THE HCS #eg. the insane 'peter quits working at the bugle very annoyingly for everyone involved before becoming a PI' like this shit just #swirls in my brain. forever and ever. #noir #answered #edit: sorry im just realising this is boiling down to itsv noir is freshly out of his 20s #therefore experiencing post 20s clarity and is not yet going through a peter b-like midlife crisis #and is not a teenager anymore and doesn't have to battle puberty as well as supervillians #so he's somehow doing a little better than the rest of them and able to pass on funny little tips and lifehacks

[hatchetverse]

You know when officer baily yells at pete to get his hands out of his pockets and pete slowly removed his hands and places them palm up on his thighs

Yeah

#one of my fav bits #i think he says ‘sorry sir’ or ok but its just so like sarcastic but also aftaid lol #so funny #nerdy prudes must die #npmd #starkid #peter spankoffski #it matches the energy with ‘i cant make any promises’ ‘what the fuck you say to me?’ ‘yes mam i promise’ #like authority freaks him out and ted deffo has something to do with that #lax care taker style lol

[skillsco]

rewatched nwh and currently having frankpeter brainrot

#HIM specifically #PETER BENJAMIN PARKER: GROWN ASS MAN!!! #i repeat: Grown Ass Man #‘i stopped pulling my punches’ babes u decapitated someone FOR SURE #i’m just saying he could pick frank up effortlessly #we could call them… prank #this is a rare pair very very niche pairing #but i have lots of feelings! #most of them r either extremely funny or extremely sad #what’s their ship name ?? #spideypun (?) #punspidey (??) #can’t be confused with that one time peter became the punisher so #what r even the options ?! #anygays #i mean anyways #frank castle #the punisher #peter parker #spider-man #frankpeter #peterfrank #oooo guys #just wait until i get into frankmattpeter then what #THEN WHAT #(i’m polyam leave me alone! their polycule would be immaculate!) #(also again sorry to announce this but i really don’t like TH’s spidey or the mcu version gahhh) #(hope y’all don’t hate me after saying that haha)

[inhidingxoxo3637]

A man who's prepared to run into Casey Stoner at any moment

#sorry ive been dead laddies #i have been watching !! #i just have a crush on a boy at my work atm and my motogp funny bone leaves me everytime this happens xoxo #i think if he wins stoner should have to come out and do the cool down lap on the back of acostas bike #there r MANY things peter Accosts wont let go and skinny jeans are high up on that list #also ik acosta has talked about how he rlly is just naturally skinny and how he had to binge eat to gain weight for m2 #but even now when i see that man its like why is ur leg the size of my arm bro #moto2 #pedro acosta

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Okay no joke, when talking about Marvel deciding the straights need rep in Marvel Pride 2024 with a friend on Discord, I straight up joked: "god imagine its a straight x-men next to a gay x-men just, "see??? they allies!"" And low and behold...that's what Marvel's straight allies covers actually are: straight character paired up with lgbt+ character. They literally were so desperate to represent the straight characters, they didn't even think of how to do the damn covers themselves. Hell, remove the 'MARVEL VOICES PRIDE' writing from both and would you even know this was for pride??? You literally wouldn't, because there's nothing to show that, not even a flag at least.

#marvel #anti marvel #marvel critical #though i joked two x-men characters #these covers are just random characters combined together #like i am very behind on comics but uh i dont think daredevil and rachel summers know each other #and i dont know if northstar and spidey are on daily speaking terms #like its funny cause people said on twitter if they really wanted to do this it should have been the allies with you know #lgbt+ friends or relatives or kids even #showing their support for them and such #but...no #its this #also i see they trying to insist peter parker is straight still #sorry we claimed him as bisexual a while back

[evilfranzkafka]

Here's all of the "fact sheets" for the guys. Sorry if the pics suck 😰 I tried

#their poses are so funny like who told yall to do that #the monkees #mike nesmith #peter tork #micky dolenz #davy jones #hi also i just looked at these images on desktop and uh.... yeah just look at them on mobile bc jesus christ u cannot see the words #sorry desktop exclusive users lol #if ur out there

[phantastragoria]

do you have a favourite portrayal of a character in the gotg game!! who is it and why <3

Oh I think they're all great honestly!!! Part of why I love the game so much is that genuinely, the whole team + supporting characters are written with such obvious love of the source material and equal attention between them all. When I see comments of people saying who their favorite character was from the game and the answer always being different from each person I'm like!! That's how it SHOULD be!!! They're the Guardians of the Galaxy (plural) the focus shouldn't all fall on a singular character like most other GotG media usually ends up as 😭

The two (sorry I can't pick just one) whom I think benefit the most from the game though are Drax and Gamora because they're almost always sidelined both in-and-out of universe by most of the various writers (especially as of late) and in turn the viewers/readers. I've been told plenty of times that they're the most boring members of the "main" team, BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY! The amount of love the game versions get (by the few who've played it at least) proves that 🥺

I've never really liked 616 Drax shifting to being a complete clown during the 90s and such (and even less so when the MCU followed along 💀) So I appreciate the game taking a bit of his seriousness from the DnA run and just making him struggle with nuance and context clues in a less exaggerated way (autistic Drax I still believe in u) and I feel the focus put on him and how losing his original family + the aftermath deeply affected him hits pretty hard here because it's treated very seriously and shown in depth, especially with how his family (wife) gets actual focus. I cannot tell you anything about Yvette in comparison to Hovat, who actually seemed to have had a personality lol (AND she was on their village's council like omg imagine having more to you than just being The Housewife) Though I will say I flip and flop on my thoughts about Heather being disconnected from Drax's life in this universe... The TLDR is that I think his arc here specifically works stronger when he has to come to terms with losing his entire family and accepting the life he currently has with the Guardians. BUT!!! I very much appreciate that Heather is still confirmed to exist within this universe, even if that means her dad issues would have to be dealt with in a different context if we ever get to see her.

Also? Shoutout to the writers actually bringing up the intense paranoia that always kneecapped 616 Drax but having that be a turning point in his backstory here, with that conversation he has with Peter where he talks about how he was becoming so paranoid of everyone being a chitauri/Thanos conspirator to the point of literally turning into an obsessed maniac like Thanos, and realizing that he desperately needed to turn his life around, it's so ough.

Out of the already many great conversations throughout the game, I think the ones with him are the most poignant. My favorite scene in the whole game is Drax and Pete's little moment on Knowhere... makes me go wahhh

(l also love that out of everyone on the team, it's his headspace that we quite literally get to go into. You KNOW that if this was any other media it'd be going into Rocket or Groot's head and likely treated as a joke.)

And oh my god, Gamora...

I find it so extremely refreshing that her role in the plot doesn't revolve purely around the men in her life, and instead, it's nearly exclusively her connection with other women. Or in the most direct obstacle she has to deal with, being how she starts projecting to the millionth degree on Nikki's situation for reminding her of what happened to her and Nebula. I find that infinitely more fascinating as a reading of her character rather than just dating drama or her arc getting completely overtaken by a man's instead.

And especially in her friendship with Mantis, who, despite having all these futures she's constantly seeing and having to navigate, still makes time to do her best to help her 🥺 From saving her life and being the one who put her on the path to healing on Lamentis, to getting her to join the Guardians and still checking in on her when she's able 😭 Friendship between women can be so powerful... u love to see it (🏳️‍🌈)

I also find it nice that there's this emphasis on her recovering mentally, and the comparison between Thanos essentially teaching her to just Deal with the shit in her life through very simplistic meditation versus the priests of Pama actually teaching her something to help soothe the mind :^( and that she still has moments of relapsing essentially. I find that to be a realistic take on recovery because that's just part of the journey since healing is not linear... and I think it's very sweet that she finds comfort in collecting something ---girly--- like dolls. Love to see a person reclaim a part of their childhood that they weren't allowed to experience. And how she's allowed to make BAD JOKES?? Imagine a woman being written to have multiple dimensions, crazy and absolutely unthinkable, I know.

There's this extremely specific theme in relation to Gamora across media that's been rattling around in my brain since first playing the game. When near the end during the revisit to Knowhere, she's about to completely lose it when Peter tries talking -for- her on what she's so upset about before immediately shooting him down, and she explains what happened between her and Nebula and she starts crying. It really struck me right then that she's never given a moment to cry elsewhere (or in the 616's case, the quite literal inability to.) aside from her shedding a Single Manly Tear (Original Sin) or a single moment out of legit fear (MCU 💀) because she's a hashtag Strong Independant Woman who can't be vulnerable etc etc. But for her to cry in front of the people she's come to care about, It gives her a moment of true vulnerability that I don't think she's allowed ever in most other media.

That and all of the above hits hard and is what makes me genuinely believe that the writers cared about her in the narrative and tried to do right by her when every other bit of media really hasn't nor cared to the majority of the time since the 90s :'^/ Brings a tear to my eye that she's allowed to just... exist in the narrative on her own merits and not on what she can provide to someone else's story.

#lex thoughts #gotg thoughts #universe: eidos game #gotg2008 #sorry for asking for a question then immediately disappearing for a month 💔 I'm on the most stressful roadtrip ever #i 🫶 you for asking about them though the Eidos gotg are my everything and i won't shut up about them if given the chance #very funny to me that all these important moments happen on Knowhere. Strange things can happen at the end of the universe. #The end page of W&tIW 09 is the only other Gamora moment of vulnerability across media that i can specifically pinpoint #But it's more self reflection in a way of a heavily traumatic experience that I don't feel ever truly got resolved within the 616 IMO #And I find it a specific point to be made when Gamora is/isn't allowed to feel or literally denied things that are stereotypically- #-categorized as -feminine- (which is dumb to assign gender roles to a simple human emotion such as CRYING.- #-But you get what I mean I hope) We play fast and loose with gender around here pardner I think all of the gotg should cry more #but in Gamora's case specifically it Hits Different knowing her past and treatment throughout media #i could also heavily go into the way the game adapts Peter's character in relation to his element guns but that's an essay for another time #just because -i- find that extremely fascinating doesn't mean i think he should particularly be the main focus (and he isnt) #bc pete rocket and groot are the ones that already get all the attention (even if i dont agree with how they're written elsewhere) #i just find it more engaging for the other two main characters of the team that always get sidelined by the writers actually being put in- #-the spotlight with equal attention given to them for once to be sooo -shakes fist #sorry for the intense word salad i hope i make sense lol ESSAY/RANT OVER .🤐

[katnissgirlsmakedo]

crush is still an annoying movie but my friend pilar is here. and she's gay.... so maybe it's not so bad. other than the fact i don't like the plot or characters. wow flop ass dyke movie fr we can't have anything

#i just like. i knowwww everything that's going to happen and it's gonna bother me. #wow huge twist moana is the secret graffiti artist. if she's not and i'm wrong i'll give the movie 5 stars as an apology #but i don't think i'm wrong. and the ohhh she had a crush on her sister but now they're bonding wow i've never seen this before! #oh what could possibly happen!! i wonder what event the climax will center on could it be the school president election? #of which i'm almost certain her couple friends will win co-presidents for. #or the girl will win and he'll be her vp. #and oh i wonder if she gets into calarts. i wonder what she'll draw for her big piece to get into calarts #certainly it won't be a portrait of moana! no that would never happen #sorry i don't know their names. there's moana. pilar. rowan blanchard. peter. everyone else #also wasn't there some drama with this movie? didn't moana not like rowan blanchard? #i can tell. they do not have chemistry. no one here has chemisty it blows #peter and whatever his gf's name is are doing ok but only because they're funny #they're the only people in here that are funny..... this is so bleak this is supposed to be a comedy..... #ok i watched like 5 minutes that's enough for today. i'll finish eventually

[bravevolunteer]

with that said, i ALSO completely unironically want to fuck with the universes. give me into the f.naf-verse and i mean that so strongly. i want michael to meet the movie verse characters so bad

#hear me out we can just use the ballpit as a scapegoat #we ALREADY don't know how it works. time travel also implies universe travel! it's possible! into the fnaf-verse! #i'll ballpit michael there i'll do it. or he sees a movie character get ballpit-ed to the game timeline #once again saying brawl of the michaels when lmao #ALSO I WANT HIM TO SEE THE WILLIAM I THINK IT WOULD BE FUNNY. and by that i mean horrible. but also funny- #i am a peter parker writer at my core sorry this was inevitable #⁂ ･ﾟ: i was looking for a job‚ and then i found a job‚ and heaven knows i’m miserable now ➛ ooc #*edit: michael vanessa support group also i cant believe i forgot

[noven-warsh]

I had a dream today where the sorry boys were making a vid where they rp as high school students (like the ones in 2000's nickelodeon/high school musicals) but what they didn't know was that Jacksepticeye had kidnapped Ranboo, locked him in a glass box and made him raise a piglet and be in a pig's family (like they were supposed to accept that the piglet's mom was their wife and the piglet was their son)

the other sorry boys didn't know that he was kidnapped and thought he was just busy/late, so while they're chilling in class waiting for him, Ranboo was raising a pig family and thinking of ways to escape

#ranboo does escape but not without getting manhunted (they don't die dw) #you know what's funny about this? i exactly know why I got this dream #alot of my dreams are based around what my brain has watched/thought of/memorized #so I kinda know why this dream took place #I watched the mv for Digital Silence by Peter McPoland (piglets are in that mv) #and I also watched Jacksepticeye's standup comedy in Tommyinnit's show before I went to bed #my best bet for why Ranboo was there was because I saw an Ethoslab/hatsune miku fanart and mistook it for Ranboo in their miku outfit #(that was also before i went to bed so yeah) #I'm ending my ted talk here #jacksepticeye #sorry boys #ranboo #philza #wilbur soot #slimecicle #tommyinnit #noven speaks #noven dreams

[uselessnocturnal]

me, holding all the fear entities and their avatars close to my chest: i just think they’re neat.

#i’m so obsessed #the magnus archives #tma #i have been BINGING this series #jonathon sims #martin blackwood #tma spoilers #but only in the tags #ugh shoutout to helen the distortion #and daisy <33 #GEORGIE BARKER #sorry just yelling names #rip og archival assistants sasha james and tim stoker :( #peter lukas!!!! #like he sucks but he’s also kinda funny #no one else i know irl is listening so i’m lit rally talking to myself about it

[tactfulsaboteur]

1, 2, 3, 10 reading asks

book i absolutely hate? i put down books i can see i won't like pretty quickly so i don't really have a rant locked and loaded for this one. i can go on and on about whole genres as a whole though because i can tell they're just not worth the paper they're printed on. the shelves and shelves of mediocre fifth-grade level fiction being marketed to grown ass adults. everything by joel osteen. [vomits] romance novels

book that first got me interested in reading? i've been reading ever since i can remember but the first 'real' book i can recall reading is the count of monte cristo by alexandre dumas, truly fantastic classic (i'm currently in a reread with the improvised book club right now actually!) i was also a redwall kid growing up of course, and also enjoyed the deptford histories by robin jarvis and gregor the overlander by suzanne collins. lots of anthropomorphic animals killing eachother in gruesome ways for some reason. i will forever be smug about reading suzanne collins before the hunger games got big though and tbh gregor was much better

did i actually read all the books required in school/did i start out that way? i was homeschooled so required reading was mostly public library summer reading programs, but yeah i've mostly always been like that. they couldn't stop me really

tell you about my top (any number i want) favorite books? opening a can of worms here, don't say i didn't warn you. it's no secret i'm a sci-fi guy so top of my list is always blindsight and echopraxia by peter watts. that shit changed me for real. wyrms by orson scott card is another one that, though fiction, contains a lot of very interesting thoughts. (standard 'card is a weird dude' disclaimer here.) i recently read jorge luis borges' short fiction, some very well done and intriguing concepts there. philip k. dick is a long time favorite of mine, the martian time-slip is particularly good as well as his dozens of short stories. and finally i will not shut up about gödel escher bach, i'm still wading through it but it's fantastically written, a lot of fun to read and i can already tell it's going to leave a mark

#whew that's a LOT sorry lmao #more recs in no particular order. #rifters trilogy by peter watts (some stuff not for the faint of heart in there so watch out) #stella maris and the passenger by cormac mccarthy #the laundry files by charles stross #(be warned the more recent stuff has had a bit more of his personal opinions injected into it but i still like it for the tech lovecraft) #mark z. danielewski's house of leaves of course #if you don't read anything else by charles stross at least take a look at timelike diplomacy #it's early enough to be relatively untouched ideologically and it's an incredibly fun almost-cyberpunk space opera #shadow and claw by gene wolfe (also not for the faint of heart) #if you read manga dorohedoro #q hayashida is an amazing artist and it's just so well done. dark but very funny #songs of a dead dreamer and grimscribe by thomas ligotti #(thank you to the friend who recommended him i owe you my life)

[sensesdialed]

gwen: FDHGFDHFD miguel: what is that? miles: it's a keyboard smash miguel: how do i do it? miles: just press anything lol miguel: 7

#'these aren't even your muses' yea but its funny FHGDD #it's the live action trio core also .. sorry tobey peter LMAO #🕸 ❝ i have nothing left… except spider man ❞ → ooc