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letters-to-lgbt-kids · 2 days

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My dear lgbt+ kids,

I feel like advice on loneliness comes in only three flavors:

"It's all mindset, learn to embrace being alone and you'll never feel lonely!"

"Your head is lying to you, you have friends and they love you!"

"Here's a list of places you can go to hang out with people and make new friends!"

Those are usually well-meant and I'm sure there are situations where they do help someone feel better - but they're definitely not universally applicable.

The first one is even plain wrong: connection is a basic human need. You can't just "change your mindset" and turn that off, the same way you can't turn off your need for food or air or mental stimulation. Humans are group animals. We absolutely need social interactions to stay healthy and sane. It is true that some people do not need a large number of friends and are happiest with just one or two close friends, and it is also true that some people prefer to fulfill their social needs in other ways than what's traditionally defined as friendship - but that's not something you can (or should) try to train yourself to do, that's just natural differences and preferences!

The only thing you could "train" yourself to do would be to learn to ignore your social needs and bury them deep down under layers of denial... and you don't need me to explain to you why that's a very unhealthy idea. It's sad enough that so many people have to do that to not lose their minds in loneliness, we certainly don't need to celebrate an unhealthy coping skill as a "superior mindset".

The other two at least get a bit closer to the truth: the solution for your unmet need is not to kill the need, but to fulfill it... but that's easier said than done, isn't it?

After all, "Don't worry, your friends love you!" doesn't help if you have no friends. Loneliness is not always "all in your head": Maybe you moved to a new place and don't know anyone there. Or you cut off contact with all your friends after a big fight. Or you grew up neurodivergent (or got mentally ill at a young age) and had no chance to learn how to make friends at the age most kids do, and by now you have been friendless for so long you don't even know where to start.

Same with "just go to a bar and talk to some new people" or "Take a pottery class and you'll meet some interesting people there" - that's not factually wrong, but also not helpful if the reason you feel lonely is that you struggle to make friends (or even struggle to just talk to people). Which can also be part of neurodivergence or mental illness, or just be a part of your personality (shyness), or be a result of isolating circumstances (like having spent a lot of time in a closed environment, for example a long hospital stay, and now feeling unsure how to connect with people outside of that environment).

And those are just a few of the many, many possible explanations why someone may be lonely that require a more individualized approach - which is why we can’t solve loneliness with any one-size-fits-all solution.

That may be a somewhat disappointing-sounding conclusion in a letter on loneliness, so let me also tell you: hope and support are always within reach, even if it might take some time and patience to find them. The key is to remember that your feelings are valid and that you're not alone in your struggle.

First, recognize that admitting that you feel lonely, and wanting to take action based on that feeling, is a sign of strength, not weakness. You’re pretty insightful for recognizing your loneliness and super brave for wanting to reach out!

Secondly, be kind to yourself and allow yourself to take small steps. Small, actually manageable steps are crucial in any healing journey! If it’s not an option to just go to the bar or that pottery class, then it’s okay to start somewhere else. Maybe a therapist, a support group, or even online communities can be valuable “training sessions” for social connections. Even reaching out to one single person can make a significant difference over time. Your journey to finding companionship and connection might be different from someone else’s, but that doesn't make it any less valid (or achievable!).

Lastly, do consider embracing new activities that you may enjoy - but not just for the sake of meeting others. It’s important to nurture your own happiness and well-being when you’re feeling lonely. Those can be activities you can try out alone and even at home, for now! Anything that enriches your life is good. Long down the road, maybe it will lead to opportunities to connect with others, but even if it doesn’t: it’s important to incorporate new experiences into your life.

While there isn't a universal solution to loneliness, I truly believe there is a path forward for everyone. It's all about finding what works for you.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

#lgbt #lgbt+

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noirsloth · 2 days

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Okay, so, with a rewatch I can say - Colin has always had feelings for Penelopy, but he couldn’t understand the difference between platonic and romantic emotions.

He’s always had love from his family. And Pen always loved him, it wasn’t like he had a sudden change from her at some point - it was always there. Also, Colin is sooo stuuuupid (like ALL Bridgerton boys are), so he’s like - hmm, I’m looking for her in every room, seeking opportunities to talk to her, protecting her many times, having some type of sentiments for her. So the conclusion is - the feeling is friendship... Right?

Because it’s PEN. She’s like not in the category with other people - his family, gentlemen, or ladies of the ton. She’s his only lady friend. There’s NO ONE like her. So he's not thinking about it too much. She’s just there, giggling, smiling and sharing her thoughts. Always there. Perhaps one of the most stable parts of his life - his family can joke and ignore him, other gentlemen can be confounded by his world views, ladies and their mamas are just trying to have a marriage match. But Penelope - no. She’s a safe place, someone who understands and hears him, writes him, and is there for him.

Until she’s not.

At first, he thinks the letters are lost or just catching up to him too long, with his buzzing need to see and feel, explore and digest, get lost and found in all those new roads, people, and cities. But his brother's short and abrupt answers, sweet and protective mother letters, jokes, and stories from younger siblings came by just fine. Only Penelope`s didn’t come. Not a single word. At first realization he was afraid something awful had happened - perhaps the tenacious hands of sickness or vile injuries of some sort had reached out. He wanted to demand answers from his family right away. But Eloise and his mother would’ve said something in their notes if there were bad news. So he let it go.

Colin kept writing about everything, trying not to let the feelings of loneliness and despair be noticeable in the descriptive narratives of adventure. He was waiting maybe a little bit too much for the mail each time, but who can blame him - he missed talking to his dearest friend. And it’s like trying to make yourself warm after the sudden rain while remaining in damp and sticky clothes. Suffocating and impossibly cold. So when he saw Penelopy in a yellow dress, walking through the gardens and putting up a smile for her mama, it was like the sunshine finally came from the clouds to warm his shivering skin and let him breathe.

#colin bridgerton #bridgerton #bridgerton season 3 #penelope featherington #colin x penelope #polin #friends to lovers #bridgerton spoilers

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sillywittleprincess · 1 day

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Soft dom Choso x fem! reader

Warnings: Smut, oral (fem! reciving) period sex?, praise, consent checks, sub reader, pet names (baby, sweetheart), kinda fluffy ngl, not beta read

Words Count: 1.3k

Choso was always so attentive to your needs, even if you weren't aware of them.

"W-wait choso! You can't do that right now. You know I'm on my period." you say as you look down at your boyfriend who was tugging at your sleep shorts.

You had asked him to come over to your house so you guys could cuddle and watch a movie and he did so without hesitation like the good boyfriend he is. As soon as he saw you open the door for him, he could tell something was wrong. He could sense it. He asked if you were okay and all you said was "just cramps".

You acted like nothing was wrong as you led him to your bedroom (which he had been in many times before), but choso knew better. He held you while the movie played, rubbing your lower tummy whenever you felt a particularly strong cramp. But choso wasn't focused on the movie. He was focused on what he could do to help you feel better. As the movie came to its conclusion, so did he. He made his move, sliding himself down on the bed so he was between your legs.

"Shhh I promise it will help you feel better...more relaxed," he shushed you as he pulled down your cloth shorts. "And I know you're not feeling the best, so you don't have to do anything baby. Just let me take care of everything."

You sighed softly as he rubbed small circles on your inner thighs, his eyes trained on your panty wearing cunt. He could see the wings of the pads on your underwear, a reminder that you're on your period. But he didn't mind. He was all focused on you.

You bite your lip, thinking. "I don't know...I don't think you'll enjoy yourself very much. It's dirty and it smells weird."

"I'm telling you sweetheart, I don't care about a little blood. And I think I might enjoy it more than you think. So can I?" He brought his thumbs to rub where your panties meet you thighs. "Please?"

You can't say no to him, especially when he begs like this. "Okay...but if you don't like it, stop immediately, okay?" You feel a little uncomfortable and embarrassed with the situation, but you can't say you're not curious to see if it will help you feel better.

Choso looks up at you and smiles softly. "Good girl" is all he says before bringing his attention back to between your legs. He shimmies your panties off, looking at the bloody pad curiously for a moment before zoning in on your pussy. "Wow...you look so pretty even covered in blood. It almost makes you look even more appetizing. I just wanna lick it all off." You blush slightly at his vulgar words mixed with praise, turning your head to the side as you lean back on your pillow.

Choso leans closer to your core, the scent of you entering his nostrils. While it is a little different from your usual scent, he doesn't hate it. He softly pulls back the hood of your clit with the pad of his thumb and gives your pearl a quick kiss. Your thighs flinch as the sudden contact and choso chuckles at you. "Your reactions are so cute baby. I'm gonna do a little more now, okay?"

He watches you nod your head, happy of your approval. He smushes his face against your pussy, his mouth sucking on your clit.

You shriek at his actions and how it's making you feel. It felt like it was too much, too sudden. And you felt extra sensitive because you were on your period. You feel a hand on your knee so you look at choso, seeing his hand outstretched to you. You quickly take his hand in one of yours, gripping it as he continues to assault your clit with his tounge.

He sucks on it, licks it, writes his name with his tounge on it. Anything he could think of in that moment, he did. Your soft moans are like music to his ears and he wants to do anything to hear more. Choso brings his right hand, the one that's not holding yours, to your pussy, covering two of his fingertips in blood as he rubs them against your entrance.

"C-choso!" You cry out, gripping his hand tighter as he slides his pointer and middle finger into you. They slide in easily, your blood mixed with your wetness making the perfect lubricant.

"Wow" choso says in awe, pulling away from your cunt to look at his fingers. "They just went right in...now I just have to find..." You feel his fingers moving inside you, jumping when they make contact with an extra sensitive spot inside you. "...this" choso smirks out as he probes at your g-spot.

"You're doing so good baby" choso praises you, giving your clit another kiss. "so so good for me." He dives back into your cunt, sloppily making out with your clit as his fingers move in and out from you, repeatingly hitting your spot on their way in.

"Y-you're doing good too choso!" You moan out, gripping his hand so tightly your hand begins to cramp. "It feels good choso. Thank you so much for doing this."

Choso smiles into you. Your praise is everything he hoped for and more. "C'mon baby...tell me your close."

You nod quickly, showing him that you are. "I am, I am close choso! So don't stop please!"

Heading those words encourages choso to go faster. Moving his tounge faster, curling his fingers into you faster. He had to get you to cum. He wanted it bad and he wanted it now.

"Choso please please please please" you whimper out, rocking your hips against his fingers and face. You felt yourself clenching down on his fingers. You were so close, just needed a minute more.

Choso doesn't pull away from you but looks up at your face. You look utterly blissed out. He nibbles on your clit softly and apparently that was the push you needed to cum. Your thighs closed around his head as your legs trembled, moaning out your lover's name along with thank yous. Choso moaned with you as he felt you pulsate around his fingers. He couldn't wait for your period to be over so it could be his cock you were clenching around instead.

"Shhhh it's okay, I've got you" choso coos as he rubs his thumb over your hand, trying to get you to relax as you come down from your high. Soon you do relax, parting your legs for him to escape the headlock you had him in. He pulls his fingers out of you and leans back on his knees allowing you to see his face properly making you gasp.

Choso's mouth, chin, and fingers were covered in blood. Your blood. You release his hand to cover your face in embarrassment. Your face feels so hot, like you have a fever.

Choso sighs at your reaction, wiping his mouth and chin with the tee shirt he was wearing. He does the same with his hand before taking his other hand, the one that was not inside you two minutes ago, to grab your wrists and pull your hands down. "There's no need to act so shameful sweetheart. Look, I'm fine. And you feel better, yeah?" You look and him bashfully and nod.

Choso smiles at your response "See? I knew it. I'll always take care of you, so trust me, okay? I love you" choso states as he steps off the bed. "I'm going to start up the shower. While you're in there I'm also going to change the sheets" he says before walking away. After a moment you hear the shower running.

Choso will always take care of you and you know it.

#jjk #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #choso #choso x reader #choso x you #choso smut

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letters-adressed-to-the-fire · 2 days

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so this is why i think peter is the one looking in people's windows

A few days ago, I saw a swiftie on TikTok talking about how I look in people’s windows could be taken as the other perspective of the same story narrated in Peter, and I just couldn’t stop thinking about it. So, I decided to go in-depth and start a self-assigned quest to look for any clue that could interweave these two stories in a way that made sense.

I know this could sound a little absurd or could be taken as a stretch of some sort, but I believe, and I’m sure most of her fans would agree, that most of the beauty in Taylor’s writing comes from the countless different interpretations people bestow on her lyrics. I’m not asking you to take this analysis as absolute truth because I’m genuinely just having fun with it, and I hope you do too.

I’ll analyze “I look in people's windows” from Peter’s point of view and “peter” from the other character’s pov, whom we’ll call Wendy given the obvious parallelism to Peter Pan.

Well, the main and obvious connection is given by the “window” element. While Wendy is waiting for Peter by the window, Peter is looking for her from outside that window. If you look at this through very literal and rational eyes, I believe you’d think it doesn’t make sense that they were both looking for each other through the same window but never met again. So HERE is where I want to insert my interpretation.

There are two options I can think of that would explain the failed meeting.

Peter intentionally avoided Wendy while still looking for her every day.

Every time they were looking for each other, it happened at different moments.

The first case presents a lot of questions, like, is the pledge to grow up what is stopping Peter because he knows he can’t do it? Or was he cruel enough to wait for Wendy to move on and then come back? Either way, the conclusion remains the same. In this scenario, Peter was a coward. If it was because he didn’t want to grow up, if it was because he just wanted Wendy to never move on, or if it was because he never gave her a real answer.

On the other hand, the second case talks about something that’s closer to a tragedy. They were always doomed by the narrative. While Wendy was waiting for him, Peter was looking for her, but Wendy never saw him—not when she waited or when Peter was looking for her. We would need to assume some things here tho. Either it all comes back to the first option and Peter had been avoiding her the entire time, or he thought she had already forgotten about him. The first option shows us, once again, that Peter is a coward, but the second one also tells us something important: he may be too scared to grow up, but he’s not selfish enough to stop her from moving on.

“Northbound I got carried away As you boarded your train South, south, south, south, south, south A feather taken by the wind blowing I'm afflicted by the not knowing so”

Based on this verse, we can design a new theory. He watched her leave and he was aching for her to come back to him. So he started looking for her in other people’s windows, wondering if one of them was gonna be her. Even when he had already said goodbye to her.

And here’s where another verse of peter will acquire significance:

“I thought it was just goodbye for now”

With both songs in mind, it sounds like he said goodbye to her, hoping they were gonna see each other again, but he also knew he had to let her go at the time and that he was condemned to miss her. But what Peter didn’t know was that Wendy was gonna go through the same thing, but she wouldn’t have the comfort of knowing what he did (wait for her).

“promises oceans deep, but never to keep”

This is why we get two completely different endings for both songs. While Peter is still addicted to the what-ifs, Wendy has turned off the light; the fantasies have expired for her. Wendy grew up; Peter didn’t. While I look in people's windows gives you the feeling of being running from house to house in a neighborhood you don’t recognize anymore, trying to fit into a routine you were used to in the past; peter reads like the last chapter of a book you’ll never touch again.

#taylor swift #peter #i look in people's windows #peter pan #wendy #ttpd #the tortured poets department #the anthology #ts ttpd #swifties #lyric analysis #fan theory #is it really a stretch?#i just love making connections between taylor's song #btw peter is the best song in ttpd

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asexualandalwaysshipping · 3 days

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My personal gripe when it comes to shipping culture isn't just when people choose to hate on other ships that aren't their otp, but when they choose to be purposely obtuse as to why people may ship a certain pair despite the "ethics" of the relationship. "But that relationship is so inappropriate!" It's the same issue where people just assume because you interact with a certain piece of media, it must mean you support everything that media portrays, as though critical thinking doesn't exist anymore.

I just saw a post where someone was going on about how they don't understand how people can ship catwin because of the age difference and power dynamic and called people who shipped them "weird." That's just such an unfair conclusion, considering the show itself does not attempt to hide the fact that there is supposed to be clear chemistry and attraction between Edwin and the Cat King. So you're going to criticize people for literally responding the way the writers intended? It's not as though this person doesn't actually understand why people ship catwin — they just wanted to frame it as though people either purposely ignore the supposed "age difference" or support power imbalances when it's obvious catwin appeals to people because of the dynamic the characters have with each other. The attraction towards Catwin isn't centered on the power imbalance at all — it's about the character's interactions and the way one complements the other.

If we're looking at a more controversial ship, Sebaciel has much more problematic elements to it, with Ciel being a literal child. But it's not as though you can't understand why it's a ship when the author is so obvious about how the relationship is meant to be suggestive. The ship has aspects to it beyond the pedophilia. It's not as though people who ship Sebaciel support everything about it, but the chemistry between Sebastian and Ciel, which again, is purposefully placed there, has appeal.

I personally, am not a supporter of Zutara. For me, it just seems like too obvious of a pairing what with fire always being associated with water and all. But not just that, I just don't like the idea of a relationship based on forgiving and falling in love with someone who had an active role in the terrorizing of your people. Zuko literally threatens Katara's village in the first episode. Yes, he's redeems himself and I do like him as a character, but for me, it's difficult to ignore when considering him as a love interest for Katara. But I'm not going around calling all Zutura shippers problematic for shipping these two, because I have enough sense to know why people ship them. It's a classic enemies to lovers. They clearly care for each other. There are parallels in their individual personal journeys that complement each other. I get it.

It's just really ignorant to act as though a ship has to be completely unproblematic in order to justify the support or to only see a ship for its most offensive aspects. Different fandoms hold different standards, and we tend to cherry-pick what we support in order to push our own agendas/ships, so not only is hating on ships unnecessary, it's hypocritical.

#who you ship doesn't always reflect your personal values and that's okay #apologies this went on longer than intended #screaming this into the void until people get it through their heads #shipping culture #personal rant #catwin #sebaciel #zutara #check yourself

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writerbuddha · 2 days

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I am conflicted about something with Star Wars. I have been thinking about the Jedi, Anakin, and what could have been done different and what would have happened if the Jedi Council had just said no to training Anakin.

I feel a lot of Anakin's issues stem from being separated from his mother when he was 9. Luke and Leia handled the lose of their loved ones better because they lost theirs when they were 19. Whereas Anakin spent a decade worrying about his mother because as far as he knew she was a slave until Watto told him what became of her.

I feel if the Jedi had freed her and give Anakin a note from her that explained she was free his training about have gone better and he would have been able to handle things better. And before it is brought up, yes she died when she was free, but my focus is on Anakin and him spending 10 years worrying about her.

But the Jedi do not help her and even stranger she has made no attempt to contact Anakin at the Jedi Temple. I guess she could have, I don't know if the Jedi would allow them to talk. Based on a line from Anakin, he says he's not allowed to be with the people he loves, I assume the Jedi would not.

So we have the story as told and we know what happens there.

If the Jedi Council refuses Anakin's training and he goes back to Tatooine or Obi-Wan leaves and trains Anakin he isn't around Palpatine and all that so he might do better but the Jedi Order still gets taken out.

I did a rewatch of the Prequels over the last few days and found Anakin really was not key to any part of Palpatine's plan. Remove Anakin and Mace and the other masters would not know Palpatine is a Sith Lord when they confront him. Although that situation probably wouldn't happen like that because I believe Palpatine revealed where General Grievous was to get Obi-Wan out of the picture and it is Palpatine that tells Anakin in the opera.

With all this in mind I have come to the conclusion that the Jedi were handed the Golden Ticket (Anakin) to destroy the Sith and instead of cashing it in to win they punched their own ticket out of existence by not addressing the situation with his mother.

The Jedi need Anakin to win, I watched a behind the scenes video where Lucas says the prophecy is real, Anakin is the chosen one, and he does fulfill the prophecy in Return of the Jedi.

And given a theme of Star Wars is nature, balance, and I see that the Jedi Order had reacted it's evolutionary dead end because the Jedi could not adapt to survive which is do something outside their rules and no allowing Anakin's training was not that in of itself. They needed to do more to help the child.

With Lucas confirming the prophecy is real and all that I am left to conclude that Anakin would have destroyed the Sith some other way.

I guess the lesson with the Jedi Order is that institutional stagnation will lead to destruction. The Jedi and Sith are cycles of life, both predators, and the Sith had evolved while the Jedi did not. Nature and the Force are unforgiving I guess.

So I guess in the grand scheme of things, what I am trying to say, is the Jedi Order had reached it's end and was mean to shuffle off.

Dear Anon,

You feel, a lot of Anakin's issues stem from being separated from his mother when he was 9, and you feel, if the Jedi had freed her and give Anakin a note from her that explained she was free his training about have gone better and he would have been able to handle things better.

The thing is, I don't get these feelings when I watch the movies. And I have to admit, I'm a bit in trouble here, because I am not sure if I can put my finger on what evokes these feelings in you. I'm all virtual ears if you are OK with telling me!

To me, it was always clear that Anakin himself tells us the cause of his issues: "I don't want things to change." And as the Jedi Masters point it out: he is afraid to lose his mother. Yoda explains he has much fear in him, which can be a problem, because there's always fear behind anger, which is behind hate, and these are adding up to a state of suffering, which also a state of being on the dark side.

The story what's told illustrates this perfectly.

You imply that you think, the older one gets, the easier for them to handle the loss of a loved one.

With all kindness in my heart, I have to tell you, that's just not true. The only thing age does is that when we get older, we more or less successfully internalize a sense of "I must get over this, I must beat this, I must take this blow with a straight face." So, we learn how to suffer with clenched teeth and screaming and weeping in the inside, because we're told, that's adult and mature. In my experience, real, genuine ability to handle the loss in a constructive way requires ceasing attachment to your loved one and develop unconditional love for them. That is, however, accessible for us in any age.

You say, Anakin spent the ten years between Episode I and II in constant worry for his mother's well-being, which undermined his Jedi training.

Since you said, you re-watched Episodes I-II-III recently, please help me: on which part or parts of the movies you draw this conclusion? What makes you think that he felt that his mother is in constant danger? Because to be honest, I see Anakin being afraid of losing his mother, I see him missing his mother, I see him being sad over not being with his mother, but I don't see him worrying for her well-being. He is afraid of losing her - he is not fearing for her.

He even says, "I don't know why I keep dreaming about her" in Episode II, and when he realizes that he’s having premonitions about his mother being in pain, and returns to Tatooine, his behavior toward Watto is quite friendly, rather than jumping to the conclusion that it must be his former slaver, who harmed Shmi, pretty heavily implying that he did not expect Shmi to get hurt while he is away, training.

You find it strange that Shmi did not contact with Anakin, and you vaguely suggest that she was not allowed to communicate with Anakin, because the Jedi would forbid it.

In Episode II, when they discuss the life of the Jedi Knight, Padmé says, "Must be difficult, having sworn your life to the Jedi... not being able to visit the places you like or do the things you like." To which Anakin replies: "Or be with the people that I love." Now, you read this in a way that says: Jedi Knights are not allowed to do the things they enjoy, visit the places they enjoy or be with the people they enjoy to be with. To me, this does not make too much sense.

To me, the discussion is about the fact that Jedi Knights go to the places and be with the people where they are needed, with who they need them, as their duty dictates this. Not where they would like to be, or with the people they would like to be.

When I watch Episode I, I see no reason to believe that Shmi and Anakin expected to be able to communicate, which makes sense - Tatooine is the seat of a crime lord, it would be rather strange if the heart of the Galactic Republic and the Jedi Order would be a "phone call" away. I'm afraid, you read too much into this, which seems to be founded on the idea that the Jedi are frowning upon love.

You say, the Jedi could have done more for Anakin and they were supposed to change.

Well, at the end of the day, Anakin was resisting their teachings - that's not something that only he could have change. Instead, he wanted to stop things changing, he wanted to stop the sun from setting and to stop people from dying. From where I stand, I can see no flaw in how the Jedi Order operated.

You seem to say that the Jedi Council was wrong to not to say no to training Anakin.

With all fairness, the Jedi Council actually did say no to training Anakin, because he was too old to be trained. In the end, they said yes, because they felt, the right thing to do is to train him to cultivate unconditional love for all living beings, to cease his grasping and clinging to coming and passing things and to overcome his fear, anger, hate and aggression, and to train him to be a selfless guardian of peace and justice in the known universe. So we have the story as told and we know what happens there. But in Episodes IV, V and VI it's powerfully stated that it's not impossible. Luke started his own training even later in his life, and he was able to become a true Jedi Knight, something that Anakin failed to achieve until the very end.

You seem to say, since Darth Sidious would have been able to orchestrate the separatist crisis and the clone wars with the clone army, thus he would have been able to butcher the Jedi and turn the Republic into the Empire without Anakin helping him, proves that the Jedi Order was beyond saving, it was "institutionally dead". And that they are "predators" and they were meant to be erased.

I am truly sorry, but I have to say, I genuine have no idea of what makes you draw this conclusion. I have the feeling that there is something else going on that is unrelated to Star Wars, that you might need to work out... If I'm wrong about this, I apologize. It comes off like something else is going on.

#jedi order #anakin skywalker #george lucas #star wars

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nanabansama · 5 hours

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Tsukasa Is Tsukasa

Recently I discovered a poll asking if people thought the Supernatural Tsukasa and the Red House Tsukasa were different, and the results surprised me! A majority of voters thought they were not the same. Not only that, but I've seen many people in the fandom start believing they are separate people, if they hadn't already believed it before.

I think this stance can very easily be explained by the scene in Chapter 111 where Amane comes to the conclusion that the Tsukasa who went missing isn't the same as the one who came back:

While people might be divided on the details, the conclusion is basically the same: whatever that is inside of him, it's not Amane's brother.

And I can see why they think this! In fact, it used to be a popular theory back during the release of chapters 78-82 when we didn't know the specifics of what happened. Heck, we still don't know many of the specifics...and many people continued believing the Tsukasas were different anyway!

There's decent evidence to support this, too. When Tsukasa returned, he had sharp teeth and supernatural powers. He knew that Kunishige's wish was that the head priest would die. He's demonstrably different from the innocent little Tsukasa that sacrificed his life for Amane.

If that wasn't enough, even his own mom came to the conclusion that Tsukasa wasn't her son! This is basically the same conclusion Amane comes to in Chapter 111. That's 2/3 of Tsukasa's family members thinking some evil entity is larping around in his skin--not a good look!

In any case, while I could try and convince you guys there are two Tsukasas and the Tsukasas are different, that's not what I'm here to do. If you read my blog you already know I'm 100% on the side that Tsukasa is Tsukasa and always has been, and nothing AidaIro has shown me so far has been convincing enough to change my mind. In this post, I am here to argue that the Red House Tsukasa is the same as the Supernatural Tsukasa and that he merely works in tandem with the ancient god living inside him.

1. Chapter 82

This is the chapter when a lot of people dropped the theory that there are two Tsukasas, including me. (Yes, I used to believe there were two Tsukasas--people change!)

Kou and Nene had determined that the Red House Tsukasa was the real Tsukasa and that the one Amane killed was a fake. They come to this conclusion because this Tsukasa was trapped in the Red House for 50 years and acts a lot nicer and sweeter than the one we know.

The issue is, Kou tells this Tsukasa that Amane is going to kill Tsukasa and die at the age of 13...and unbeknownst to Kou, the seemingly innocent little Red House Tsukasa is EXCITED at the idea! Tsukasa, thankful to Kou and Nene, helps them escape the house but stays behind. This scene is when a lot of cool stuff happens.

First, we learn that Tsukasa wasn't actually trapped in the Red House and he always knew how to get back home, but that he never left because he was worried about what would happen to Amane. However, once Kou told him that Amane wasn't happy after Tsukasa left and that Amane kills not just Tsukasa but also himself, Tsukasa realizes he doesn't know that much about Amane and wants to learn more. The most shocking part of this scene to me was that Tsukasa's excitement at dying was very similar to the lighthearted way the Supernatural Tsukasa brings up his death with Amane.

Second, we see Tsukasa not only has the entity he sacrificed himself to to save Amane stored in his chest, but that he holds a conversation with it.

The entity being shown in his chest is actually a popular argument for the "Tsukasa isn't Tsukasa" theory, but I feel this scene proves otherwise. Tsukasa is not the unwilling host of this entity, as one might expect, but instead almost treats it as a friend. They have a sort of symbiotic relationship going on, and Tsukasa makes the decision to go back wholly of his own, despite them both knowing how to get back the entire time. He even says "let's go back TOGETHER," which supports the idea that they work together and that it isn't simply piloting a Tsukasa meat puppet.

We can argue Tsukasa is the victim to the entity's machinations, that the entity needed Tsukasa to do it willingly or that the entity took full control of Tsukasa after he succumbed to the flames or what not and tricked him, but so far AidaIro has only shown cooperation between these two characters. It's not unreasonable to suggest that Tsukasa gaining supernatural powers after he comes back isn't a sign that he's a different being entirely but that he's just working with one.

2. Mother Doesn't Always Know Best

This one will be a quick section, but considering Mother Yugi is basically the origin of "Tsukasa isn't Tsukasa" I wanted to cover why I think she's wrong.

In Chapter 79 Kunishige recounts how Mother Yugi took Tsukasa to their shrine because she thought her son was possessed by a demon after being spirited away. Kunishige thinks she's crazy at first, and so do the priests, who find nothing wrong with Tsukasa. Put a pin in that btw.

However, Kunishige later learns she was onto something because Tsukasa is not only an incredibly unsettling child but he correctly predicts the death of the head priest of the shrine and tells Kunishige his wish, for the head priest to disappear, would be granted tomorrow. This proves Tsukasa has otherworldly power, since he knows Kunishige's wish without Kunishige telling him, and also might have the ability to grant wishes, something the entity in his chest is shown to be capable of.

Now, I personally think the fact that the priests found nothing wrong with Tsukasa is HUGELY in favor of my theory. I understand how you can argue that the entity somehow avoided detection because it's powerful, or because there was nothing left of the original Tsukasa or something, but I still think the fact the priests detected nothing wrong is extremely weird. What if that's because Tsukasa is still in control?

I think the fact Mother Yugi was convinced Tsukasa isn't her son and wasn't persuaded otherwise is important, too. In fact, I think it might directly correlate with the conclusion Amane makes in Chapter 111. I think Amane is more or less coming to the same conclusion his mother made, something he hadn't wanted to believe at first but eventually, finally, succumbed to. I have to imagine his mother's insistence that Tsukasa wasn't Tsukasa left a big impression on Amane, and it's something that's bothered him for years.

I can't exactly blame them both, either. By the time Tsukasa came back, he'd lost a lot of his innocence. Keep in mind that they think Tsukasa was gone for six months. Any normal 4-year-old kid might have been traumatized by leaving his family for six months, but Tsukasa just acts creepy and possessed. And despite him meeting Nene and Kou 50 years in the future, it's possible it really was only six months for Tsukasa! Time worked differently there. Still, it's not hard to see how the extreme circumstances he was in might have changed him. Not only was he stuck in a haunted death house, he later learns the wish he granted for Amane wasn't Amane's true wish and that Amane kills Tsukasa. This is all pretty life-changing information, and when you tack on the fact that he's buddy-buddy with an ancient man-eating god, it's really not that surprising Tsukasa has changed so dramatically, especially when he's still at the tender age of 4.

3. Behavior

For something that's supposedly replaced Tsukasa entirely, it certainly gets very personal with Amane, doesn't it?

I said before that Red House Tsukasa in Chapter 82 acts similar to Supernatural Tsukasa. How they find delight in death. But I don't think this is the only point of similarity between them, either. In Chapter 81, Red House Tsukasa is under the impression that Amane hates him.

In Chapter 111, after Amane tells Tsukasa he hates him, Tsukasa tells him he already knew that.

Mind you, this line comes seconds before Amane comes to the conclusion that Tsukasa isn't Tsukasa.

Think about it. Tsukasa tells Amane that he knows Amane hates him, echoing a sentiment that the Red House Tsukasa shares. And Amane, after hearing this, comes to the conclusion that this Tsukasa is an impostor.

Isn't that... really sad?! I mean, I'm not going to say that Amane's whole reasoning for Tsukasa being a fake is that he thinks Amane hates him, but...before this scene, Amane was saying he couldn't destroy his yorishiro because he cared about Tsukasa too much. And for Tsukasa to say something he's thought ever since Amane pushed him as a little kid, and for THAT to make Amane say he thinks Tsukasa is fake... it really shows they've never understood each other at all.

Tsukasa's never been shown to get extremely upset about being hated by Amane, either, so you can't say Amane is right just because Tsukasa is laughing in Chapter 111. Tsukasa initially seems shocked when he was pushed, and overall seems a little sad about it in Chapter 81, but he still remarks that Amane hates him with a smile. He's selfless about it. And later, when he learns Amane kills him, this feeling gets more complex. Despite Kou's attempts to convince him otherwise, I think Kou's reveal only made Tsukasa more convinced that Amane hates him, and this is shown in Chapter 111 when he laughs about it. It's just a funny joke to him at this point.

I...genuinely cannot reconcile this behavior with Tsukasa being a fake. I just can't! Why would the entity be this personal with Amane? Why would it share opinions that the supposedly "real" Tsukasa had? If AidaIro really is trying to write a story about a little boy being replaced by a supernatural entity, then they could at least do a better job of making them act different. TBHK makes it clear that supernaturals can experience human emotions just as strongly as actual humans, so it wouldn't surprise me if the god has its own personality and feelings, but for them to just...be the exact same as the human it replaced? I'm not buying it.

There is no difference between the Red House Tsukasa and the Supernatural Tsukasa that can't be explained away by the fact that people change as they grow older. Everything about Tsukasa's character arc as I've presented it is completely logical.

Conclusion

With so little info on the ancient man-eating god, it's kind of impossible to reach a proper conclusion at this point. All we really know about its personality is that it hungers for flesh and will grant any wish in exchange for it. With this in mind, it's incredibly easy to see why people think the god and Supernatural Tsukasa are one and the same, especially when the cast tends to treat them as such. I could just as easily write a post in favor of them being different as I could of them being the same.

And I think this is what AidaIro ultimately wants! I think AidaIro wants us to second guess ourselves. If I know anything about Aidairo, it's that they like to keep up on our toes and shock us with surprising twists. Who really knows what they have hiding up their sleeves?

Still, I feel the theory that the god replaced Tsukasa raises more questions than answers, and I hope I managed to explain my side of things.

#jshk #tbhk #tsukasa yugi #pit god #yugi twins #my theories

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a-killer-obsession · 2 days

Text

Wavelengths [Killer x Reader, Heat x Reader]

🔞 Minors DNI 🔞

A search for a rumored Vegapunk weapon leads the Kid Pirates to an unexpected new crewmate, with a bloodlust that rivals their own and an incredible power.

CW: Please check AO3 for all current warnings, but general warning for smut, slow burn, serious gore, and really dark themes. AFAB reader, she/her pronouns.

Masterlist || AO3 || Chapter 1

Chapter 19 - Lost and Found

Everything really goes to shit. Please heed the A03 tag warnings, this one is going to be dark.

WC: ~4k

Taglist: @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth @iggy5055

It was hard to even remember that you'd ever had a life outside of a cell by the time you woke up on what must have been at least day ten of your new imprisonment. The seastone cuffs were forming new rings of red on your wrists and the bullet burned like a wild fire inside you. Breathing was difficult, on one part because of the broken rib, on the other from the daily beatings you'd received as the marines tried to put you back in your place and gain information on the Kid Pirates. You'd never talk, of course. They were the only friends you had, even if you felt in your heart that they'd abandoned you. It was fitting, really. You'd told Killer to run, you'd said your goodbyes, but secretly you'd hoped that maybe he did love you enough to come back. After ten days of rotting and starving in a cold cell, your hope had faded. They weren't coming back, and you were alone again.

It was a small miracle that you'd been given antibiotics for your wounds, but you knew it was only to keep you alive. If you died of infection they'd actually have to put in effort to finding your fruit before an enemy could eat it. It was easier this way, and they were well practiced with keeping their torture victims alive. You hadn't been able to sleep on your back for several days now, the result of the weeping wounds that covered your already scarred skin, the lashings dished out as a punishment for ‘going AWOL’, like you hadn't been thrown away by the marines years ago when you'd proven yourself to be untameable. Maybe Kid had come to the same conclusion, maybe you'd talked back one too many times to be worth the effort it would take to rescue you. Maybe if you'd spread your legs for him you would have at least had some use that was worth rescuing. But as always, nobody wanted you. Your father had the right idea, leaving before you were even born. He must have known all along how worthless you would come to be.

You felt yourself giving up. Nobody was coming for you, and your body ached and stung from the cuts and bruises that covered it. If you just gave in, stopped eating what little they offered you, let yourself succumb to your injuries, it would all be over. Nobody could hurt you anymore if you were dead. The feeling gave you a little hope, this would be over soon. Your body would stop hurting, your heart would stop hurting, and you would no longer be a burden on every person you met. You only had yourself in this world, but even you didn't want you.

Today was going no different than it had every day since your capture. The only small comfort you had was Killer's sash, now wrapped around your own waist. It was covered in your blood, but it was all you had, so at night you held it close to your heart, mourning what could have been if you'd made it back to the ship. You hoped above all else that he still wanted you, that the love you'd felt through the kiss still held true, even if he hadn't come for you yet. Maybe he wanted to, maybe he was just following an order from Kid to forget you. You played with a loose end as you laid on your side, the door to the cell opening as it had every morning so you could be dragged upright your daily torture session. You let yourself dissociate as you were pulled up by your hair, your cuffs attached above your head to a chain that hung from the ceiling. Your cuffs rubbed raw against your wrists as your weak legs struggled to keep you on your feet, but you dare not cry out in pain. Years of abuse had conditioned you to keep quiet.

The mindless goons who had strung you up remained on guard as their commodore entered the room, a disgustingly smug look on his face. You did your best to stare right through him, but couldn't deny that his expression made you ill. There was something different about it today, something darker and more knowing. It made you feel exposed and anxious as he stomped towards you in heavy boots. He was a larger man, someone who looked like they'd gotten where they were in life through intimidating those smaller than him. He smelt of cigars and cheap cologne that made your nose burn.

“How are we feeling today, little mouse?” He purred, forcing your chin up with a hard grasp to look at him. You spat in his face against your better judgement and he quickly retaliated with a hard backhand across your cheek. He wiped the spit from his face before continuing, “You'll never guess who I've just been speaking to on the den-den,” he gave you a cold smile that made you want to gag, “none other than your old pal Vice-Admiral Thompson”

A shiver ran through you and your eyes widened in fear as memories best kept forgotten began to bubble to the surface. Thompson had been the first to take charge of you after being discarded, back when he was still a commodore, and he had raped you mercilessly on a almost daily basis. The man had a pension for blood, and enjoyed cutting you as he fucked you. Your torture had only come to an end when he was given a promotion, and you were passed along to the next enthusiastic rapist, the one you had killed when Kid had found you. Your back featured many scars from his blade, since taking you from behind had been his preference. He didn't like to see your face, he preferred to just concentrate on the sound of your screams to get off. He'd grown bored when you stopped screaming for him, probably why he chose to pawn you off to someone else when he got his big promotion. It had been a blessing in disguise, and had taught you a valuable lesson about staying quiet. The new commodore had still raped you every chance he got, and taunted you daily, but at least he was a small-dicked three pump chump.

“He gave me some very valuable tips on how to tame you, little mouse,” he circled your body, and you winced as his calloused hand ran over the fresh cuts on your back from yesterday's whipping. “He had some very interesting techniques to share that I am quite interested in testing out for myself”

He nodded to the other men in the room, and they grabbed you from either side, making sure you couldn't do anything to kick or fight back, not that you had the energy. They pulled your skirt up and your panties down roughly, and the commodore kicked your legs further apart to make room for himself. It put more pressure on your painful wrists, and tears pricked at your eyes. You heard the distinct sound of his pants unzipping and he began to palm himself behind you.

“Are you going to talk mouse, or am I going to have to fuck it out of you?” He growled.

Tears began to fall against your will as you prepared yourself for the inevitable. You blanked everything out, swallowing your mind till it sat deep inside yourself, your eyes blank as the tears flowed freely from them, your body lose as you gave over any control to your hindbrain, which focused only on breathing and keeping your heart beating. Nothing else was necessary, and for a sweet moment you felt no pain as you dissociated. The world went white and silent, you had given up.

The last ten days had been torture for Killer, pacing back and forth in the navigation room while Kid pinched the bridge of his nose. They'd wanted to go after you, all the commanders had, but they'd lost the element of surprise. Kid had been ready to turn the ship around and wage war, but at Wire's sage advice he had held back. Killer hated that Wire was right. They needed to wait, they needed the base to think they had abandoned you, because without the element of surprise they might not make it to you without heavy losses on their side.

“Kid, you promised,” Killer growled, “why are we still waiting? Has it not been long enough?”

Wire sighed from his seat, Heat next to him in the same unwavering haze of sadness he'd been in since Killer had gotten back. It was the island all over again. “We agreed two weeks, Killer, that was the decision. It's only four more days. She's strong, she'll make it”

“But what if she doesn't?” Killer yelled back. His mask had been abandoned on the table hours ago, he felt like he was suffocating in it under the stress of the situation. Kid's chest hurt watching the way Killer's face morphed with pain whenever he spoke of you. “Her vivre has been burning for days now, she's dying!”

The last ten days had been hell for everyone on board, and Killer's body was wrecked with self-inflicted cuts under his clothing from multiple manic episodes. Kid didn't know what to do anymore, he feared his friend would lose his mind all together if they didn't get you back. The only reason his room was inhabitable at all was because they'd spent the last six days docked at a nearby island; his furniture had been replaced multiple times at this point.

“Wire, a few days less won't kill the plan,” he finally surrendered, “if we set sail today, we'll be there in two days from now. I agree with Killer, two weeks was a good plan to begin with, but I don't like the way her vivre is looking. We may be too late if we don't act soon”

Wire sighed in defeat, but was relieved to not be the one to give in. He may not be as close to you as the others, but Heat was his best friend, and the man hadn't been the same since they lost you. Everyone needed you home, it wasn't the same on the ship without you. “I'll give the orders,” he declared, taking his leave to head to the deck, followed by a sulking Heat.

“We're gonna get her back Kil,” Kid assured, “When have I ever broken a promise to you?”

“You haven't,” Killer mumbled, replacing his mask to head out.

“Exactly, so just rest your fears with me, I'll get her back, whatever it takes,” he pressed his flesh hand to Killer's shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. “Well make plans tomorrow, for now just stay strong. We'll bring her home Kil”

As expected, the commodore had been less than gentle with you, and after he was done pumping you with his thick load, he'd let the other two men have their turn as well. You were naked by the time they left you, and you laid on the floor crying and holding Killer's sash to your face, your pussy aching and torn from their abuse. The next day, when you still hadn't talked, he repeated the process. This time he brought a blade with him, cutting into the small of your back. The blood had at least acted as a lubricant as he fucked you mercilessly, but you still ached from the previous day's abuse. He'd brought more men with him this time as well, the collective cum of five men slipping out of your abused hole as you lay on the floor. You didn't cry today, there was nothing left in you. You were entirely devoid of any emotion, resigned to letting yourself starve until it was over. The lashing wounds from several days ago were growing infected from the commodore playing with them, he'd purposefully reopened your wounds as he raped you to add to your misery. You still hadn't talked, at this point you weren't sure if you were capable of speaking.

By the twelfth day you were just a shell. A ragdoll of a body, burning with fever and devoid of any feeling or thoughts. You hadn't slept, just stared blankly at the wall, unmoving from where they had dumped you on the floor after using you. You laid in your own blood, the wounds they had left still trickling for many hours after they had finished with you till they finally clotted to stop the bleeding. Your clothes had been taken from you, except for the sash. You considered hanging yourself with it, but you weren't sure it would even work. You had nothing to allow for a short jump to snap your neck, you would have to rely on strangulation, but that would mean the already heavily damaged sash would have to endure your weight for long enough to kill you. You didn't have the energy to do it right now anyway, it would require standing and your legs were far too weak for that. You'd pissed yourself at some point, unable to find the will to get up even to squat over the bucket in the corner.

There was thick silence around you, as there had been every day since your capture. The walls of the cell were particularly thick, blocking out any sound from outside, blank and dirty and grey, the only light being a single flickering bulb hanging from the ceiling that was never switched off. It was all carefully crafted to break you, to drive you insane till you gave up your secrets and spilled everything you knew about the Kid Pirates. The joke was on them, this wasn't your first experience with a cell like this, you learned last time how to sink inside yourself to hide from it all.

The door opened as it had every morning, and like every other morning your body was manipulated to wherever they wanted it to be. You didn't register how or where they moved you, your eyes continued to stare blankly ahead. You didn't register the cuffs being removed, the scarred arm or striped mask, the change of scenery as you were carried away. Daylight hit you, burning your eyes, so you closed them, your last connection to the outside world severed as your protective shell finished building up around you, fully encompassing you as you fell to a deep, exhausted sleep.

The Kid Pirates had started their wanton destruction the second they made landfall. The base had in fact been caught off guard, wrongly assuming that after twelve days of not making any attempt to rescue you, that you had been written off as not worth the effort. It couldn't be further from the truth as they slashed and burned and smashed their way through the base, killing every man and woman they encountered. Every building was checked, and if you weren't inside, immediately destroyed. Kid welded his gigantic metal arm, sweeping through the marines and sending decimating blows through every building, followed by Heat who set fire to any remains and any marine who got close enough. Wire was running ahead with Killer, the two of them being the fastest on the crew as they scouted every building for you, following your vivre on a warpath.

Double hadn't been able to locate the cells on the map, and suspected they were underground somewhere. His suspicion proved to be correct when they found a set of stairs hidden in the back of a small building, leaning to a short hall of dire looking cells. Killer's haki told him someone was alive down here, and the burning sliver that remained of your burning vivre card agreed. Killer sliced the lock off the door on the only occupied room, opening it with his heart in his throat as he dreaded what he would find inside.

He and Wire stood in shocked silence as the door swung open. You were there, naked on the floor, laying in a pool of blood and piss and clutching something close to your face like it was a lifeline. It took him a moment to register that it was his sash, it was so soaked with dark, dried blood that there was barely any blue left. Your eyes were open, but you didn't see them, not even when he waved a hand in front of your face. He touched your shoulder gingerly, and you didn't react at all, not even a shiver or painful wince. There was just nothing, you were just a shell, and he felt like they'd come too late. You were alive, but you were no longer living.

Wire took off his long hooded coat and handed it to Killer, who swaddled you in it before lifting you carefully into a bridal hold. Your body was littered with bruises and wounds, several of which were weeping pus. You were hot to the touch, near scalding, and your skin was clammy, damp with sweat from your fever. The two men said nothing to each other, there was nothing to be said that wasn't already painfully obvious to both of them. The second he had you in his arms, he was running.

He ran as fast as his legs would take him, his solitary mission to get you to Mohawk as quickly as possible while Wire covered his back from enemies. Kid opened his mouth to speak as they passed, but Wire just shook his head at him as he ran behind Killer. Kid roared in anger and lifted every piece of metal he could get into the air, forming a giant hammer and crushing everything in sight. The rest of the crew retreated, they knew better than to get in the way of Kid's fury.

As soon as Kid was satisfied that the base was sufficiently destroyed, any remains set alight by Heat, the Victoria Punk had set sail, with the intention of getting as far away from this awful place as possible. Mohawk had spent the last several hours working diligently on your wounds. Only Wire had been allowed access to the infirmary, being that he was the least emotional right now, and Mohawk needed unaffected assistance to help considering your state, which teetered dangerously at the edge of life and death. With some struggle he'd managed to surgically reopen the wounds that had begun closing, including the gunshot, so he could remove the bullet and any contaminants, and disinfect them all properly before stitching them closed. There wasn't much he could do for your broken rib other than make sure there were no shards of bone threatening to pierce your lung, and pump you with sufficient pain medication. You would likely be asleep for several more days given the extremely high dose he had you on, but that was for the best.

The worst of it had come though as he and Wire carefully cleaned your body, and Wire had discovered the blood between your legs. They felt awful about having to spread you open, but Mohawk was a doctor, and he was concerned about the damage that had been done to you. He cursed himself for never having bought a speculum now that there was a woman on the ship, he could only do so much to check your internal wounds without feeling like he was violating you. He did what he could for the outside though, stitching you delicately with dissolvable thread so you wouldn't have to go through the trauma of having him remove them, and making sure to add every anti-STI medication he had on hand to the cocktail of drugs he already had you on.

With Wire's help, they had cleaned and closed and dressed every wound on your body, and they carefully slipped a set of comfortable underwear and shorts on to you, along with a medical gown so Mohawk could still easily access the worst of the wounds on your torso until you woke up. It had taken over five hours to attend to you, all the while Killer had been pacing nervously outside the door, his sash balled up in his hand. He'd rushed to your side the second Wire opened the door, taking your hand gingerly and holding it firmly between both of his as he sat in a chair Mohawk had pulled over for him.

“She's going to be asleep for a few days at least,” Mohawk reported, standing on the other side of the cot as he pulled a blanket over you to finish up his work. “She still had the bullet inside her, so I suggest getting her bracelet back on soon before she wakes now that she's free of the seastone. She's got a broken rib, and too many wounds to count. It looks like many of them were from a whip, a handful from a blade. She's got a black eye, a swollen cheek, and most of her torso is covered in bruises in different stages of healing that look like they go back as far as when we lost her. Her wrists are also rubbed raw, I'm assuming they hung her by her wrists and the cuffs cut into her that way. She's definitely emaciated so I've got her on a lot of supplements right now, as well as a lot of antibiotics and pain meds. The pain meds themselves will have her out for a few days till I feel confident that she'd be okay on a lower dose, but that won't be until her fever breaks”

Killer wanted to cry hearing the doctor's report on your condition, and he held your hand close to his mask as he struggled to hold back tears. “Killer, there's one other thing,” Mohawk continued. Killer looked up at him with deep concern. “She's been raped, multiple times if I had to guess from her injuries. It was bad enough to need stitches. I've got her on every STI preventative I have on hand but I'll need to run some tests in a few weeks to make sure she didn't catch anything”

Killer let out a single wheezing sob as he failed to keep his composure. It was no wonder you were so lifeless when they found you, the worst had happened and he only had himself to blame for it. Mohawk gave him a pat on the shoulder and took his leave, giving the Massacre Soldier the space he needed to get his feelings out. Killer began to sob, tears leaking through the holes of his mask as it rested against your shoulder till he caved and tore it off. At some point Kid and Heat joined him, the three of them sitting in silence watching over you, save for the occasional sniff or new bouts of sobs from Killer.

[NEXT CHAPTER]

#one piece fanfiction #one piece smut #killer one piece #killer x reader #massacre soldier killer #heat one piece #heat x reader #kid pirates

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