#but changing your pronouns or being nonbinary doesn’t mean you can’t be transphobic | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cock-holliday · 4 months

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TIR/F arguments are often even stupider than TER/F arguments because of how much they want to bend rigid ideas to fit a new narrative but still be rigid in exclusion. The E’s insist biological determinism. You are born a man, you are born a woman. Biology makes us totally separate from each other. You are innately something and cannot change.

The I’s try to bend that idea around progressive language. Womanhood is something to reject or embrace, but then there is still an inherent good/bad dichotomy. To the I’s, your worth is in not being a man. But what is a man, then? The E’s stake their whole politic around a supposedly rigid definition of Woman™️ but then so do the I’s! On the surface it is rejecting maleness but what is male? Is it masculinity? Is it facial hair? Is it he/him pronouns? Is it a penis but we’ll pretend it’s not cause as long as I can pretend you don’t have one then welcome to the sisterhood (you’re on thin ice)

Trans women are good because they do not want to be men, but I get to decide what “man” means and if you fly too close then you’re a predator(y man) trying to trick us into letting you in

Trans men are bad because they reject the gift of womanhood and want to abandon their oppression in favor of supremacy and no matter how cruel my “punching up” at them becomes, if they cry, they are being hysterical (women), but maybe I can save them from themselves if they repent before me forever

Trans women cannot experience antimasculism because they’re NOT men, how dare you? I support trans women so long as they aspire to cisfemininity, and if they don’t, what’s wrong with a little smear campaign? Why don’t you let us police your body you sex freak? Got something to hide?

Trans men cannot experience misogyny, only trans women do, how dare you you transmisogynist? To prove that they don’t, any trans man who doesn’t take it lying down is a whiny (girl) cunt (boycunt?) who revels in victimhood and uses his woman tears to get out of a callout.

The way that trans people are attacked is tied to assigned (or perceived) birth assignment. We are misgendered and assaulted, even by other trans people who align with ra/df/em politics. It is a poisoned well that you cannot unpoison.

It is fine to talk about your own experiences or how they relate to systems of oppression but reinforcing a binary of “therefore the opposite doesn’t experience this” rather than continuing to blur the lines between “man” and “woman” strengthens the arguments of transphobes.

Trans men you can’t woobify also get smeared as predators. Trans women who don’t drive a hard line between themselves and trans men are accused of being ‘AFABs’ and experience a weird form of misogyny that cannot decide if you’re a girl or boy but you’re definitely a whiny bitch. Intersex and nonbinary folks who muddy the waters of distinct sexes and genders are ignored or cast aside or painted as appropriators and ‘transtrenders.’ We cannot even just discuss our experiences because everyone is assigned at birth and by tumblr dot gov to “basically boy” or “basically girl.”

It serves no one to pretend our experiences as trans people are so unique from each other when we are proof of the flexibility of identity and presentation.

We are at any given time one step away from being painted as predators or waifs, whiny bitches or scary men. We are taking up too much space, we challenge too much, and are all a third gender category until transphobes (cis and trans alike) decide how to categorize us.

If we cannot learn to appreciate the spectrum of experiences and struggles and see ourselves in “the other” AGAB and instead continue to reinvent “men vs women but enlightened this time” we are going to lose

#LJsm

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scriptlgbt · 2 years

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i'm currently in the writing process of writing my first book. the main love interest is an androgynous non-binary heir. Considering it's a fantasy world, I chose to make it societally normalized. My biggest issue so far has been gender coded appearance descriptors and gendered titles (ie. prince/princess). I want this character to remain as impossible to misgender as possible. close friend's of mine who are non-binary said that oxymorons (ie. softly angular) are my best bet - (1)

(2) - as a cis writer, i thought i'd ask you on how to describe someone androgynous in writing without using gendered words/descriptors. I'm sorry if this may seem like an overbearing question, and please correct me if I had said anything misinformed or offensive. Thank you for your time.

Don’t worry about this being an “overbearing” question - it’s not at all. This blog specifically exists to answer questions like this. There are undoubtedly other people who wonder the same things but who either are afraid to ask (so don’t) or are rude about it. So asking a question respectfully, especially in a setting where you are specifically invited to ask questions, is the best option of those. At least when it comes to something where you need to know the answer for some reason, like in writing good representation.

To get to the actual advice though: I can’t actually tell what you mean by gender-coded appearance descriptors, so I’m going to try to cover what I can. If you’re worried about something like, “soft ringlets and bold eyeliner” skewing feminine (for example), I wouldn’t worry that much about it. Something that describes body parts that happen to be gender-coded by society (breasts or an Adam’s apple for example) will land a lot differently, however. They will likely read with a fetishy tone in most writing. (I’m sure describing these characteristics on a trans character *can* be done in an alright way, but I don’t advise it because of how difficult that would be to pull off.) But as for general descriptors, I wouldn’t worry too much about making sure the descriptions are perfectly even.

Androgyny tends to be perceived differently based on the birth assignment as well. This isn’t fair, but it’s something society does a lot. Ideas of masculinity bringing a DFAB person closer to androgynous, and vice versa, as though our birth assignments are inherently going to skew us one way or another and we need to take efforts in our presentation to counteract that. I found when I started presenting in a way where I was confident and assuming what I would want to wear after top surgery and being on testosterone for a long time, people started assuming I had a different birth assignment more often. I think some of this may be just that people tend to assume groups of people are the same and that I am most often with trans women. But I only think that’s some of it. I’ve sometimes gotten this assumption when I am on my own as well. (Someone once asked me how I’d deal with it as a nonbinary person after being on testosterone long enough to “start passing as a man” and I had to explain that I never really passed as a cis man. Maybe I’ve passed as DMAB, but not as a man. These are not at all the same things.)

Another thing: I get what you’re going for when you mean “as impossible to misgender as possible” but I think it’s also important just to keep in mind that people will find ways to misgender us no matter what. Being seen as myself doesn’t change that some people are going to want to undermine that by making up details in the absence of information. There’s no shortage of people on the internet who tried to hurl transmisogyny at me when I was pointing out transphobia, because their sole perception of transness was the kind that transphobes fearmonger about. So if you can’t get an audience who genders the character correctly, it’s not your fault. Pronouns are easy to get (w/ some variation) when you fundamentally believe that a person is who they are and that their pronouns are part of that. And/or when people practice enough. Don’t take this as a measure against your writing.

Some neutral-coded description ideas:

(Note: some of these may not be neutral-coded depending on setting, but I read them as such personally.)

describing mood/facial expression

mannerisms/the way they carry themself

tone of voice

the way they dress (do their shoes look comfortable? jeans look well-worn? shirt ironed? aesthetic choices?)

confidence, hesitancy, timidness, how this may change around different characters or in different settings

voice speed/volume/pacing

their body language in relation to others present

hair, complexion, other physical features (highly rec this masterpost by Writing With Color on describing various features)

interacting with some object or hobby that helps paint a picture of them (smacking gum, holding a skateboard, paint stains on an apron, boxing gloves hanging off their bike)

piercings (& jewelry), tattoos

the way the weather is interacting with them (wind making their hair blow into their face constantly, rain weighing down their velvet pantsuit, clumsy on the frozen sidewalk, twirling a parasol)

- mod nat

#mod nat #feel free to add #describing characters #trans #nonbinary #androgynous #writeblr #lgbt characters

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jaeheewillalwaysbemyfav · 3 years

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helloooooo!! can i request some headcanons for the demon brothers with a MC that is Non Binary but is afab and insecure about being afab and doesnt feel like they are Non Binary. platonic or romantic either one is fine. thank you. also Jaehee is a Queen period.

I haven’t had Mystic Messenger installed on my phone for like a year and this blog is mostly, if not exclusively Obey Me rn, but I refuse to change my url because it remains true. Jaehee is the best and deserves the world <3

Also don’t mind me casually throwing in some Devildom/Celestial Realm gender headcanons as an intro~

Warnings: Mentions of gender dysphoria, internalized transphobia, insecurity gang rise up. I’ll try and keep it more general since this is meant to be a comfort/fluff piece.

The Brothers With an Insecure (AFAB) Nonbinary MC

As a whole, the Devildom doesn’t really do traditional gender. The variety in demons’ and fallen angels’ appearances makes for such a diversity of body types that markers of femininity and masculinity are easier to disregard. It’s commonplace to provide one’s pronouns along with their name when meeting someone new, and any changes in a demon’s presentation are noted with little more fanfare than a new haircut.

Even angels don’t really get preoccupied with gender: in fact, as MC discovered one day while talking with Luke and Simeon, most barely grasp the concept of what a gender is. Simeon had mentioned that this occasionally resulted in him forgetting the genders of his characters, resulting in TSL being extremely popular among transgender and nonbinary fandom communities.

But MC is not from the Devildom, nor are they from the Celestial Realm. They’re from the human world, with its reductive views on bodies, presentation, and identity. A year in the Devildom can’t erase a lifetime of cissexism.

Some days, it wears on them more than others.

Lucifer

Lucifer is always aware when MC’s self image starts wavering

As someone who has fought tooth and nail to remain true to himself, he understands the struggle of facing resistance to this

But the idea of it coming from within is somewhat foreign to him

Nonetheless, he’ll do anything within his power to make MC feel better

Will calmly, but firmly assert that MC is the only one who can determine their identity

It’s not about how they were born or raised, but who they know themself to be deep down

If it’s their gender dysphoria making them feel invalid, he’ll try and minimize it however he can

Need a different RAD uniform? No problem. Worried about being perceived a certain way? Anyone who stares at MC for too long or even dares to make a comment about their presentation is getting the Lucifer Death Glare.

Physical/body dysphoria? The Devildom has tons of temporary and permanent solutions for that, they can try whatever they’d like

It is vital for the success of the exchange program that all the students feel comfortable and well-accommodated

Also MC is very dear to him and he hates to see them suffering

Mammon

As soon as he notices MC is upset, he is READY TO FITE

Who’s been messing with them?!

What? They don’t feel like they’re really nonbinary? Are they questioning again, or—

Oh. Oh…

Well that’s stupid! What do you mean you don’t “look nonbinary”?! What’s there to look like? Humans are so weird about this stuff, look: you want to know what someone’s deal is, you ask! And their answer? That’s it! End of story, there ya go!

It’s not so simple in the human world, MC tries to explain

Mammon huffs and mumbles something about how it should be, but he can see this avenue isn’t making MC feel better

It seems whatever junk ideas the human world has about gender really gets into people’s heads…

Well, whenever Mammon wants to take his mind off of something, he opts for something exciting! Hitting the casino, making new plans that’ll definitely work this time, maybe even try and pull a prank on one of his brothers…?

But if MC just wants to cuddle and watch some mindless TV or play video games he doesn’t mind doing that either…

Leviathan

Levi knows, without fault, every single TSL characters’ pronouns and identities, if and how they change through the series, and between different media adaptations

He can (and will) list all the nonbinary characters like a gender Pokemon Rap, with special attention on those who match MC’s presentation and/or AGAB

(Not that AGAB is essential or even always available information, but dysphoria is not a rational creature, and Levi is very familiar with irrational emotions)

Would MC say that any of these characters aren’t really nonbinary because of how they look or how they started out? Then why are they any different?

But if something about their appearance is really bothering them, he might have a solution

Cosplay

Well, sort of

Crossplayers use all sorts of techniques to masculinize or feminize their appearance when necessary, and Levi’s pretty familiar with most of them

So if MC wants to try some out to see if it makes them feel more comfortable, he wouldn’t mind showing them! You know… if they’re… interested…

Also double-checks to make sure it’s okay that he calls them his “Henry” and assures them that it’s about the character’s role and personality, and not some sort of gender-based comparison

Unless... they like the comparison? andwouldliketocosplayasHenrytohisLordofShadows??

Satan

Who said this to you, MC.

Names. Now.

Boy gets frothing mad when MC explains it’s a societal and cultural problem, not an individual one, that fuels their insecurity.

If they don’t want to hear an hour long rant about the rich history of human gender expression and identity, they need to cut him off fast

If he could maim the concept of transphobia, he would

But alas, this is not a problem that can be solved (entirely) with violence

So he has to find other ways to show his support

Ask him about any notable trans, nonbinary, or otherwise gender nonconforming figures from human or demon history. He’ll happily tell MC all about them.

But, at the end of the day? In his opinion, there’s one person that shines above the rest

Someone who braved the longest odds, who persisted against the fiercest enemies and even turned them into their closest friends

Who saw others at their worst and sought to bring out the best in them…

*stage whispers* He’s talking about you

If there’s anyone who’s going to believe in the right to self determination and the irrelevance of your origins to your present identity, it’s Satan

And if anyone ever does try to tell MC that their doubts about themself are true?

Just give him their name and don’t ask questions

Asmodeus

So they’re worried about being too feminine? Is there such a thing?

If that’s the case, they can be “too feminine” together

Asmo’s gender nonconformity has earned him praise all throughout his life, so the idea of being ashamed of such a thing is alien to him

But he does know what it’s like to have an audience who expects a specific image from you

And the fear of disappointing them

But gender isn’t a performance

Well, it is, sometimes, poor choice of words: but it’s a performance for you

Asmo presents the way he does because it’s what makes him happy, same with the rest of the brothers

MC shouldn’t be any different

If they’re looking for a more masculine wardrobe or just want a change of pace, he’ll happily help them find clothes that make them feel more comfortable, but his main concern is that they know they’re free to wear what they’d like, act how they’d like, and it doesn’t change who they are

Whatever image they want to make of themself, he can get them there, but only if it’s because they want it, not because it’s what they think they’re supposed to be like, okay?

Beelzebub

When MC first confesses to Beel that they feel like they’re not really nonbinary because of their body, he kinda looks around and gestures as if to say “really? Down here?”

Has MC ever noticed that RAD doesn’t have gendered sports teams?

Yeah, if they separated people by something as irrelevant as gender or Diavolo forbid, sex, people would get seriously injured or worse

There are so many ways to be a man or a woman or a nonbinary person, and they’re not always what you’d expect

Some of Beel’s best teammates and scariest opponents look and act nothing like you’d expect them to

If they’re feeling disconnected from their body, Beel is totally down to work out with them, keep them grounded in all the good their body does for them and that they can do for it

And yes, also the good food their body lets them experience

He also definitely reaches out and gives their hand a lil squeeze if he ever notices them feeling down while they’re out together

He cares for them a lot and just wants them to be happy at the end of the day

Belphegor

Oh yeah, that’s one of the stupidest things about the human world

Belphie remembers being mistaken for a woman a lot when he used to visit the human world, and how confused he was when people got into such a tizzy over his gender

Why waste all that energy on something that doesn’t matter? If you must know, just ask the person and be done with it

It doesn’t matter what they look like

MC is MC

If they say they’re nonbinary, that’s good enough for him

If they don’t want to be touched, especially in certain places tiddy pillow naps, he might get pouty, but he’s all bark and no bite, he’ll respect their wishes

His approach to making MC feel better is more geared towards normalizing their identity

If he accepts it as a fact, then maybe they’ll catch on that people will respect them if they know what’s good for them?

Also, if they hear him mumbling about correct pronouns and punching transphobes in his sleep… No they didn’t. He’s not dreaming about them, he swears...

#obey me #obey me imagines #obey me headcanons #obey me shall we date #om:swd #mine #my writing #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor #tldr; they all love and support you!!!

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gettin-bi-bi-bi · 2 years

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Hi, sorry idk where else to send this but…. I resent transmasculine people and idk what to do about it. I dont want to be TERF and I was hoping that you could help me “deconstruct” the things that make me resent them. I am aware that most of the mods of this blog are transmasculine and im sorry, I don’t want to offend either of you.

Anyway, I resent them because i feel “betrayed” by them, like they’re leaving women to deal with misogyny alone (and no, it doesn’t help if they’re also “feminists” because they still ran away from the problems women have to face, like catcalling and being more likely to get r*ped). I don’t like that most of them get away with adquiring male privilege just because they’re trans. I know being trans is not easy and not a choice by anyone of any gender identity but it still feels unfair that they get all the benefits cis men get while women still have to deal with being women all their lives.

They also make me feel bad about being a woman (well, i’m nonbinary…. A nonbinary woman, or demigirl. These are all labels i use for myself, but at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter since I don’t plan on transitioning or changing my pronouns. I’m basically just a weird cis woman). Like, reading posts about them having to deal with dysphoria makes me feel offended. I know it’s not about *me* but I can’t help it. This is my biggest issue actually, rather than being bitter about the potential privileges they might have for being men (or wanting to pass as men, in the case of many transmasculine people). I feel i can get over the other things easier because the disadvantages of being trans are more than the possible perks of it (for cis people ofc. For trans people it’s not the case obviously). Like, posts about dysphoria or happiness because they don’t longer look like women makes me *extremely sad* and also bitter because they have the liberty to be something else that what they were born as.

I hope all of this makes sense and i hope i didnt offend anyone. I don’t know where else to write this that i wont be insulted :(

You know... what you say is offensive but I am glad you are daring to write it somewhere because this is something that you absolutely have to deal with if you don't want to be an asshole!

You have definitely internalised a loooot of transphobic bullshit and though that's maybe not all your fault, it is certainly your responsibility to work through that and change your mindset. You are doing transmasc people a huge disservice AND yourself, too, because to me it sounds a lot like you are speaking from a place of jealousy and insecurity about your own gender.

Other trans people living their lives and talking about their experiences, their gender dysphoria and euphoria, their transition process and whatever does not take anything away from you. If transmasc stories offend you then ask yourself "what is it in those stories that makes me feel so personally attacked? why does this feel like it is about me?" - maybe that's a good way to star, to be honest. You say you "know it's not about me but I can't help it". Well, maybe some of it is about you and you need to work out what it is and find out what that means for you and your gender.

The fact you say you're "just a weird cis woman" when you also say you are non-binary is a huge indicator to me that you struggle immensely with your own gender identity and the whole coming-out process about that. So advice number 1 would be to get help for that. Talk to other non-binary people, try to get gender counselling if that's available where you are, work through these issues of internalised transphobia that you are very clearly also directing at yourself.

And then you have some big ass unlearning to do about the transphobia you have sucked up. A lot of things you are saying are 100% coming from TERF and radfem circles. Point number 1 is that being a man (cis or trans, doesn't matter) is not a bad thing. Men are not inherently bad people, whether they have been assigned male at birth and always identify as a man or they realised later that they are men. This is an immovable fact that you have to accept. Men are not bad (and by extension: women aren't inherently good and innocent.) If you believe that men are somehow worse people than women by nature then you have bought fully into radfem ideology and gender essentialism and you need to keep shutting that voice down.

And the whole idea that trans men somehow magically have male privilege only works under a very simplistic idea of how privilege works. Do you really think that a trans man is holding the same power in a patriarchal society as cis men? When trans men are also often victims of "corrective rape", in many places don't have access to HRT or gender-affirmative surgery or can only legally change their name and gender if they get sterilised. Do you genuinely think this is what privilege looks like? Educate yourself about the struggles that transmasculine people go through. And not just all the negative shit. Also learn about how they understand gender and masculinity. Read their stories and learn what manhood means to them. Learn about ways to be masculine outside of toxic masculinity and see that being a man has just as much potential to be good and beautiful as being a woman.

Trans men don't "betray" anyone by "leaving womanhood". I, as a cis woman, don't feel betrayed by people living their true self and being, living, expressing the gender that they truly are. Trans men are men. And like any person of any gender they have the ability to be feminists or allies, they can be great people or they can be assholes. Every human has the ability to be a misogynist and every human can try their best not to be. This isn't different for any gender. It's a myth (again, created and perpetuated by radfems) that trans men are just ~confused weak lesbians who take the easy way out by becoming men~. If you find yourself believing that narrative then again: you have fallen for radfem talking points.

You need to seriously reflect on where you got all of these ideas about transmasculinity from in the first place. You have got to have picked it up somewhere. I'd take a wild guess and say a lot of that was online (Twitter? Tumblr? tiktok?). Maybe it's time for a radical clear-out of the accounts you follow. Algorithms tend to keep showing you similar things to the content you've already consumed and it's dangerously easy to get radicalised that way. So if you really want to break out of this bigotry - for transmasc people's sake and your own - then think long and good about where the sources are for those beliefs and cut them out! Educate yourself, reflect, reflect, reflect, work on your own gender issues and learn to love yourself and not blame transmascs for your own insecurity.

Maddie

P.S.: I am the only cis person on this blog and of course if any of the other mods want to say something then I'd be happy to hear your thoughts. I also understand if you do not want to chime in though.

#transphobia

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rjalker · 3 years

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I kept forgetting to make this post but anyways

I’m just 99% certain that people don’t consider nonbinary people trans because people think being trans is all about transitioning.

They think oh? Yes. If you’re trans that means you’re transitioning. Point A to point B.

The way this logic goes is this:

Trans woman? You transition to be more feminine.

Trans man? You transition to be more masculine.

Except, where, exactly, are nonbinary people transitioning to? There is no “”opposite”” gender in this equation.

Nonbinary people can look any way a person can look, and there is literally no way to “transition” to nonbinaryness because nonbinary doesn’t have a set look the way people think “man” and “woman” do.

So by the logic of these people, if nonbinary people aren’t transitioning in a clear and set direction, then they aren’t transitioning at all, and therefore, they aren’t trans.

This is the logic of truscum. This is the logic of transphobes.

This is the logic of people who think nonbinary people aren’t trans. Because they equate transitioning with being trans, so if you can’t or won’t transition, if you aren’t going from socially acceptable Point A to socially acceptable Point B, then you aren’t going anywhere at all.

Nonbinary people are trans. There is no set way for nonbinary people to transition. It’s not a third gender, or a fourth. There is no point A where you’re binary and point B where you’re nonbinary.

The problem is that people think that in order to be trans, you must transition in ways that they deem mandatory and acceptable, and if you don’t fit into their narrow definition, then you aren’t trans.

And that’s not how it works.

Especially when you consider literally all the reasons people might not transition, like it not being safe, people being too poor to afford surgery, disabled people who physically can’t present the way they’d like to.

I am nonbinary. I will literally never, ever, ever in my life ever even hope to be able to afford any kind of surgery. I am literally physically incapable of wearing a binder. It would probably literally kill me.

the only way I can transition is changing my pronouns and name. That’s it. That’s all I will ever be capable of doing to transition.

And according to transphobes, to truscum and their like, that means I’m not actually trans. Because I can’t go from point A to point B the way binary trans people can, especially binary trans people who are able to afford not just one surgery, but multiple.

Transphobes equate transitioning with being trans, and if you can’t or don’t want to transition, they say that means you’re not really trans.

And that’s not only transphobia, but classism and ableism as well.

If you are nonbinary but don’t consider yourself trans, that’s your perogative, but make sure you don’t think that way because you also equate being trans with transitioning.

Being trans isn’t something you do, it’s something you are.

#trans #nonbinary #transgender #I meant to make this post like TWO WEEKS AGO #and kept forgetting #and only remembering when I can't type #here you go

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mothra-obeyme · 4 years

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I loved your nonbinary!MC post. Can we please get that with the undatebles please?

Of course i can do that. I hope you enjoyed it!

@black-flower-fanfics also requested it!

!Warnings: Transphobic, Little bit nsfw-ish with Solomon!

The Brothers Version

Undateables reaction to you being nonbinary

Diavolo

When you told him that you identify as nonbinary he was pretty confused at first because he has no idea what that means

But he understands things pretty quickly so when you explained it to him he understood it and told you he still accepts you immideatly

He's pretty interested in the human kind so expects him asking a lot of questions and wanting to know everything about it even if the questions are a little bit weird

Learns everything about it and asks Barbatos to to set a date for a school meeting about genderqueernes to make people feel more accepted

He will also let gender neutral bathrooms be built in RAD because he wants people to feel comfortable especially you

When he found out about your parents not accepting you he was pretty mad at them and really wanted to kill them but he remembered that he wanted humans to like them so he let Barbatos visit them and tell them that you're staying in the Devildom and will not come back

( He didn't trust himself to go there without killing them so he sent Barbatos )

You will not see him accidentally using the wrong pronouns because with him being the future king of the Devildom he's trained in speaking and getting accoustemed to new things quickly

And he will personally murder someone if they're being transphobic

Barbatos

He's a very old demon even older then Diavolo so he knows nearly everything about genderqueernes and things similar to it so when you told him that you identify as nonbinary he was very casual about it but his overall calmness told you that he accepts you still

Also one that asks you which pronouns to use because he's a great and respectful butler and he really cares for you and wants to make you feel comfortable

If you wear a binder he will know when you're wearing your binder for too long even before you realize it

He always knows how to make you feel good about your body and will make the best compliments

He also doesn't care about what you wear and if it's fitting for the social standerts because he likes you and wants you to be happy and not uncomfortable in your own environment

When he found out about your family not being as accepting as they should be he was pretty rational about it probably also the one who was the most logical

He asked for your permission to tell Diavolo about it so he can ask if you're allowed to stay in the Devildom

And of course Barbatos knows that Diavolo allows you to stay here so he already has a room in the castle prepared for you of you want to move into the castle

Will also make their live a living hell if someone if being transphobic

Simeon

He may not now what you're talking about or what you mean about identifying as nonbinary but he's very willing to learn about it

This angel boy is so understanding oh my god he accepts you immediately like there was never a point where he didn't accept you and your gender will not change that

Will ask if you feel comfortable answering some of his questions because he wants to understand you better and help you

Also goes to the library and looks some things up there or tries to look some things up on the internet

He's probably the best at helping with body dysphoria and giving you compliments about your body

Like his hugs can already make you cry how're you gonna keep it together when he really tries to make you feel good and happy

Also one of the people who reminds you to not wear your binder for too long if you wear one

When he heard about your family not accepting you he was mad not like really mad because this boy is impossible to get angry but at that moment he felt the tiniest piece of anger

Like how could your family not accept you for something as that

He finds you so amazing and beautiful he can't imagine how anyone wouldn't love you just because of your gender

He's also very good at convincing people so when someone is being transphobic he will literally change their entire mindset in one conversation

Solomon

With him being someone who's lived for a very long time of course he knows about genderqueernes and what it means like he had a lot of time to look things up or times where he was bored

So when you told him he was like

"Oh cool thanks for telling me. What are your pronouns and also can i try a new spell on you? I promise it won't hurt you really i promise."

Like he's just so casual and normal about it

He wouldn't spent his time on doing something stupid like hating on people just for their gender and waste his time and he's probably seen some shit so genderqueernes isn't probably anythung new to him

Will try spells on you ( with consent ) about trying to remove your B00bies for some time if you want to try it out ( will also try and change your genital organs if you let him )

He has lived for a long time on earth now so he knows how to deal with unaccepting people

So when you told him about your family rejecting you he was really dissapointed in them like why would you spent your time with something like that

Will ask for your permission to put spells on them to make their life really hard and will 'kidnap' you from your parents when you go back in the human realm

Masterlist

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writing-with-olive · 4 years

Text

A few tropes to avoid: LGBT addition

Note that this is not a complete list, but rather some tropes that I tend to see a lot that are tiring if not downright offensive and hurtful. This turned out to be a very long post, so most of it ended up below the cut. Press J to skip.

Gay/Lesbian

[id: two flags. The one on the top is the lesbian pride flag. The one on the bottom is the gay pride flag /end id]

Anything hypersexualizing

It’s just... not good representation. No one likes to be hypersexualized. Ever.

The one gay/lesbian in the heterosexual friend group

This tends to come across as tokenism. Not real representation. Also, people tend to be friends with people they connect with. This is why a lot of LGBT people form groups. It’s actually far more likely in the real world for there to be a gay friend group with one straight person.

The homosexual dies first

Yay there’s a gay/lesbian person! Representation! oh... they died five minutes in? That sucks.

Look, if there’s a lot of death happening in your story, it’s fine if a gay person dies, but please stop making the first death a gay person. And if you decide to kill of a gay person, make sure it’s not the only one.

The gay that refuses to admit he’s gay but he’s super feminine so he has to be

Femininity does not equal being gay. I’m not entirely sure where this trope (and general misconception) came from, but it’s tiring to see it getting beaten into the ground

Femininity is fine as a trait, but it should not be the tell that a character’s gay. Finding other dudes attractive or being attracted to other dudes should be the main tell.

(Bi/pan, Trans, Nonbinary, Genderflux/genderfluid, Ace/aro all below the cut)

Bi/Pan

[id: two pride flags. The one on the top is the pansexual pride flag. The one on the bottom is the bisexual pride flag /end id]

Anything hypersexualizing

See above. I’m tired of it. It’s not good representation.

The bi/pan character is a cheater

Bi/pan people aren’t any more likely to cheat than anyone else. The fact that the general pool of people bi/pan people are attracted to is larger doesn’t really change that. Please don’t make your bi/pan character a cheater.

The “no this character is with a [guy/girl] now so that means they’re [straight/gay] not bi”

This is bi erasure. Bi/pan people are still bi/pan when they’re dating a dude. Bi/pan people are still bi/pan when they’re dating a girl. Bi/pan people are still bi/pan when they’re dating a nonbinary person. Period.

The “this character can’t be bi/pan - they’ve only slept with one gender/they’re a virgin”

Being bi/pan is about being attracted to people of two or more genders/being attracted to people regardless of gender. It doesn’t matter who they’ve slept with. If they’re bi/pan, they find more than one gender attractive.

Trans

[id: the trans pride flag /end id]

“Hi I’m John, but I used to be Jane.”

In no world is this realistic. Trans people are not going to introduce themselves to anyone by using their deadname (their name given at birth that no longer applies to them). There are lots of other ways to show a character is trans.

Trans dudes have to be hypermasculine, and trans girls have to be hyperfeminine

This is just untrue... being a more affeminate trans dude doesn’t make him any less of a man. Being a more masculine trans woman doesn’t mean she’s any less of a woman. Not conforming to the most stereotyped version of their gender does not mean they’re not a valid person

“He - she - did the thing” when referring to a trans woman and vice versa for a trans man in prose.

I specify in prose because if someone has just come out, and characters are tripping up over pronouns but trying to learn and correct themselves, then that’s usually fine (though make sure to research what’s acceptable around this and what isn’t).

The whole calling attention to someone’s pronouns by misgendering someone and then flamboyantly correcting yourself when they’re trans thing can actually be kind of transphobic. When you’re writing prose, you don’t have any excuse so don’t do this.

The trans guy finding a bunch of ace bandages (or something similar) and using them to bind his chest

Yes, this is realistic. Yes, a lot of people do this, but it is an extremely unsafe way to bind. If your character binds, do your research. If they bind unsafely then SHOW THE NEGATIVE RESULTS of binding unsafely (difficulty breathing, cracked ribs, spinal problems, etc) they can be pretty severe. A lot of people don’t know how to bind and take cues from what they see in the media. Don’t perpetuate false information.

Nonbinary

[id: the nonbinary pride flag. /end id]

The nonbinary character has to be flatchested and vaguely masculine in order to be nonbinary

Nonbinary people are still nonbinary when they’re feminine. Nonbinary people are still nonbinary when they’re masculine. Please reflect this in your stories, as people take cues for how society works based off of the cumulation of the media they recieve.

Misgendering during an argument

This is actually really damaging to nonbinary people. What happens is that people see that it’s okay to misgender someone if they’re mad, when in reality, pronouns are a right, not a privilage to be stripped away whenever you get mad. If you were really mad at your country’s leader, you wouldn’t misgender them when you rant. You can hate them with all of your being and you probably still wouldn’t misgender them. Why is it any different with nonbinary people?

All the nonbinary people were AFAB (assigned female at birth)

It’s not inherantly wrong to have AFAB nonbinary folk in your story, but it is nice to see AMAB (assigned male at birth) nonbinary characters as well. There’s a lot less representation for them, so the more representation the better.

Being nonbinary is a phase - you’re actually binary trans or cisgender

Some people identify as nonbinary and do later find out that they identify more with a binary gender, but there’s also a lot of people who are just... nonbinary. It’s hugely dissapointing when a character that’s meant to be representation turns out to actually not be. Especially if they were the only nonbinary character.

Genderfluid/Genderflux

[id: two flags. the one on the top the genderfluid pride flag, and the one on the bottom is the genderflux pride flag /end id]

The one character in the background who’s genderfluid/genderflux in chapter three and then never seen ever again

Just include a genderfluid/genderflux character that’s actually relevant. It’s not that hard, and it’s really not that confusing. Their gender changes sometimes. They might switch their pronouns accordingly.

The genderfluid character who’s short, vaguely masculine and has brightly died hair.

This one isn’t exactly offensive, per se, but it does feel like this is the only representation of a genderfluid character that I ever see, and that my friends ever see. Diversity is more than just having people who use different labels. It’s also about showing the different walks of life within those groups. There are a lot of genderfluid/flux people who don’t look like the stereotypical genderfluid/flux person, and they deserve representation just as much as everyone else.

The genderfluid character is the alien

This is a cop-out. It’s fine if you’ve got a race of genderfluid/flux aliens. Awesome, actually! Just add a genderfluid/genderflux human character too.

The genderfluid person who wakes up in the morning and “decides” if they’re going to be a boy or a girl today.

There are a couple things wrong with this. The first is that genderfluid people don’t just “decide” which gender they are. Their gender is more of it’s own entity. There’s not much of a choice with it. It just is.

From my own experience I can assure you that genderfluid people don’t just wake up in the morning with a random gender and then that’s their gender for the day. For me personally, my gender will change somewhere between once every three hours and once every three days, but it’s surprisingly rare that it’s overnight. It can even happen in the middle of conversations and stuff like that.

Genderfluid people don’t just switch between being a boy and being a girl. There’s a lot of space in between: nonbinary, maverique, agender, just to name a few.

Ace/Aro

[id: two pride flags. The one on top is an aromatic pride flag, and the bottom is an asexual pride flag. /end id]

The character’s horrible backstory turned them ace/aro

This is not to negate the fact that some people do identify as ace/aro after a traumatic event. That being said, most ace/aro people are just...ace or aro. There wasn’t any backstory. That’s just the way they are. Seeing that a lot more represented would be awesome.

The character’s got a mental illness because they’re ace/aro

Being ace/aro does not mean you have a mental illness. The idea that it does being spread through the media people consume is very harmful and it increases the stigma around being ace/aro, in a place where there really shouldn’t be. Yes you can have a mental illness and be ace/aro, but they’re not usually correlated.

The ace character can’t be ace because look they’ve got a partner!

Ace is short for asexual meaning you don’t feel any sexual attraction. That does not mean you can’t feel any romantic attraction. Therefore, your character can be hella ace and still have a partner that they’re romantically attracted to

If your character was aroace (a term that’s short for aromantic asexual), then they probably wouldn’t be interested in having a partner.

The character who’s aro/ace but then “finds the right person” right at the end

If they’re demisexual/demiromantic, then that’s different, but it does make it feel like the “flaw they were overcoming” was being ace/aro, and that’s both damaging to the community, and it’s also just dissapointing. There are a whole host of other flaws that your character could have that are much more worth the reader’s time.

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sign-from-god-complex · 4 years

Text

Summary: When a quiet evening alone is interrupted by one of their boyfriends, Janus has to reveal a little more than they had been in any way prepared to.

Pairing: Analoceit with briefly-mentioned, background royality.

Warnings: Panic attack, anxiety spirals relating to transphobia (no actual transphobia), mention of underage drinking.

AO3 Link

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t meant to go like this.

Janus had planned perfectly for their coming out, down to mentally scripting all the possible reactions their partners could have. They knew neither Virgil nor Logan were transphobic—after all, Virgil was trans himself—but still, they’d been nervous about going through with it.

Their boyfriends were gay. They liked men, they liked each other and yes, they liked them but they didn’t know. Really, it was only natural to be worried about the effect this could have on their relationship.

So, they’d put it off. The flinch every time Virgil referred to them as his boyfriend wasn’t picked up on and the slight frown they adopted when being told how handsome they were was taken as nothing more than insecurity and though, maybe, they were a little put out by how their boyfriends never seemed to notice, they couldn’t blame them. It was their fault for not telling them after all.

It was all their fault.

“Jan, please, open the door,” Logan said, the concern in his voice leaking in through the cracks between solid wood and drywall. Janus could barely hear it though for the rushing of blood in their ears and the heaving sounds of their breath seemed to take up all the space left in the bedroom.

They tore at their clothes, ripping several of the buttons off their blouse as they yanked it over their head, their skirt tossed to the other side of the room as if throwing it to where it was no longer in view would somehow mitigate the weight of what had already occurred.

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this! They’d been careless. Their boyfriends’ schedules were predictable—Logan worked till 4:30 pm every weekday, Virgil slept in but stayed out later—and as such, they hadn’t even considered the fact that they would be caught. It was foolish to think they were ever safe, utterly foolish.

Their chest was tight, heavy, and they dropped to the floor—curled up with their legs hugged to their chest and their whole body shaking.

Logan’s voice trickled its way back into Janus’ mind, softer than they had ever heard it outside of late-night love confessions and Virgil’s panic attacks. “Jan, honey, it’s okay. You’re okay. Do you remember Virgil’s breathing exercises?”

And with a jolt, Janus realised that is what this was. A panic attack.

Their breathing hitched and they ducked their head down to press against their knees, hands gripping to each other until the knuckles turned white.

It was a fact that was more terrifying than it had any right to be. Janus was always the one to comfort their boyfriends when they were panicking, they knew all of the techniques, they knew each of their boyfriends’ preferences on touch while they were experiencing particularly heightened anxiety but right now it was all useless. The only thing looping in their head was visions of their boyfriends laughing at them, outing them to everyone, leaving them, kicking them onto the street where they’ll be alone, alone, alone, just when they had finally gotten comfortable enough to let them in.

Pulling in a stuttering breath, they tried to count, managing to hold it for around four seconds before blowing it out.

It felt almost impossible—like climbing the rough side of a rocky cliff face when your body only wants you to stay at the bottom of the ravine to die—but they knew it wasn’t. Despite the siren sounding in their mind, they knew there was no physical danger. And anything else could be dealt with later.

So, they tried again, this time slightly more successfully and with each breath, they could feel the weight of their head getting heavier, the static in their limbs fading away to almost nothing. By the time they could breathe again they were so tired, all they wanted to do was sleep for a year.

Unfortunately, their boyfriends would probably have some qualms with that notion.

There was murmuring outside and Janus knew without a doubt that Virgil had arrived, so they figured the locked door likely wouldn’t hold them back much longer. Virgil had learned to pick a lock as a teen—a skill they’d occasionally utilised to break into their parents’ liquor cabinet when they were both too young to drink—and with the level of worry Janus was sure Logan was holding, they doubt he’d have much of an issue with trying to break into their room.

To the sound of the doorknob rattling, they clambered up from the ground, pulling on a large shirt they’d found beside them on the floor. It must have been Logan’s because it smelt like him—sort of like paper and metal but mostly just like Logan—and Janus tried not to acknowledge the way something in their chest lurched.

They approached the door with probably more hesitance than was warranted and, standing with their hand on the doorknob, they took a moment to catch their breath before turning the lock and throwing it open.

Virgil was on his knees on the ground, a hairpin held in his hand and his tongue sticking out ever so slightly as he concentrated. As the door swung open, though, his expression changed to one of shock, glancing up at Janus in a way that made them feel somewhere between adored and uncomfortable. Logan was much the same—though he wasn’t on his knees—his expression shining with relief and barely contained concern.

There was a moment of silence, punctuated with Janus clearing their throat.

“Go on then,” they said, their hands on their hips and their voice wavering much less than they had been expecting, “Say your piece.”

But instead of the anger or the betrayal Janus had been half-expecting, Logan threw himself forward, wrapping his arms around them and cradling them like they’d been missing for years, like they were something precious, like they were loved.

And Janus melted.

They let out a gasp as they felt the breath being punched out of them, hands going up to grab at the back of Logan’s coat and it was barely a moment before Virgil stood up to join them, his long arms reaching around them both like a shelter from the wind and the rain and the fear.

Far sooner than Janus would have liked, they both pulled away, leaving Janus feeling cold and somewhat lost.

“I’m sorry,” Logan said softly. His gaze was cast to the ground and Janus took the opportunity to run their gaze over his slumped shoulders and furrowed brow, vaguely feeling the urge to soothe the stress he seemed to be holding, “I should have warned you that I was coming home early but I had wanted it to be a surprise.”

Janus laughed but the sound was void of joy, seeming instead rather hollow. “Well, you certainly accomplished that.”

Visibly, Logan winced and Janus felt a stab of guilt go through them. It wasn’t Logan's fault—they knew it wasn’t Logan’s fault—and it was unfair of them to make him feel bad for something that could have been so easily avoided if only they were more careful.

Janus was not known for being impulsive. They thought things through and they made plans and they certainly didn’t jump into things without being entirely sure of them first. The problem with that, however, was that sometimes you can’t be entirely sure.

And now, unfortunately, seemed like it was one of those times.

“I’m nonbinary. I use they/them pronouns.”

They wouldn’t say it was quite blurted but it was certainly close—their words hurried as if given the chance to think for even a moment longer would prevent them from being said. Maybe it would.

Glancing at the two of them, it was clear that they were surprised but it was eclipsed quickly by a look of understanding and though part of them was relieved—breath exhaled, shoulders dropping, loved, loved, loved—part of them could only feel that this was much too good to be true.

“Okay.” Logan nodded, his expression thoughtful. “Thank you for telling us.”

Janus narrowed their eyes. “That’s it?”

Something of a bewildered expression crossed Logan’s face and he tilted his head slightly, as if Janus were some puzzle that he had yet to figure out. In response, they folded their arms tight across their chest. That look always made them feel a little too much like an ant under a magnifying glass and while sometimes they were grateful to have so much of Logan’s attention, now it just made them feel exposed.

“What do you mean?”

They gaped at him for a moment before throwing up their arms in a gesture of incredulity. “You’re gay! You like boys-!”

“We like you,” Logan interrupted. His voice was calm and caring in a way that sort of made Janus want to cry but they refused to show that kind of weakness right now, “In fact, we love you and learning your gender identity doesn’t change that in the slightest, at least not in my case.”

They fidgeted a bit with the hem of Logan’s shirt, feeling the absence of their usual outfit—the weighted jacket and full coverage shirt—like a missing limb. “Virgil?”

Cautiously, they glanced over to him and almost took a step back in shock at the unexpected shine of Virgil’s eyes—wet and teary and full of an unquantifiable amount of love. Janus and Virgil had been friends since they were children and, outside of panic attacks, they’d barely ever seen him cry.

“I’m so proud of you,” he murmured, making something in Janus’ chest crack open like a geode, leaving bits of rock scattered around but exposing something a lot more valuable, “Coming out is really hard and I’m really, really proud of you. And I love you. A lot.”

Janus exhaled, their breath shaky. “Oh.”

There was a moment of silence as the three of them just stood there, unsure of what to do next. Then, Virgil laughed. It was sort of wet but full of love and the others couldn’t help but echo him, feeling all the stress and the tension and the fear melting away with each second that passed. It was ridiculous, really, but Janus thought that maybe they deserved it all the same.

Virgil shook his head incredulously, his lips teasing at a smile but his eyes soft. “God, c'mere, asshole.”

Biting at their bottom lip to stop the way it was wobbling ever so slightly, they stepped forward into Virgil’s open arms, slotting in like they were made to be there.

“Pretty rude of you to call me an asshole while I’m baring my soul over here, dick,” Janus laughed into his shoulder.

They felt a kiss being pressed to the top of their head from behind, Logan worming his way in to join the hug and bringing with him a sense of completeness that made Janus exhale softly into the space between them, their eyes fluttering closed for just a moment.

It felt safe here—truly, safe—and though they are aware that it was okay to be afraid… they couldn’t help but wonder why they were ever worried.

After a long moment of soaking in the comfort their boyfriends brought them, they pulled away, gently extricating themself from the embrace. Despite the fact that they were no longer touching, nobody moved too far apart and Janus could still feel echoes of Virgil’s skin brushing against theirs and the soft exhale of Logan’s breath as if they hadn’t moved at all.

“Gods, this is far too many emotions for me,” they joked, though there was truth in the words still, “And I swear if either of you tells anyone about any of this they will not find the body.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, my love.”

“Not in a million years.”

They rolled their eyes, fondness barely hidden behind a look of exasperation. Their boyfriends were so stupidly earnest sometimes, though they’d be lying if they said it wasn’t endearing.

“Saps.”

Wandering back into their room with their boyfriends trailing after them, they began to get redressed, stripping Logan’s shirt off to pull on one of their own. It wasn’t the first time they’d changed in front of their boyfriends but even still they were cautious of the way the two of them were looking at them, bumping their shoulders together every so often as small talk picked back up.

The conversation was familiar, dotted with exclamations from Virgil about how much he hates his job and overlaid with Logan’s recapping of Roman and Patton’s ridiculous pining recently, Janus occasionally butting in to affectionately berate their twin for being so oblivious. Even they’d figured out their relationship faster than that and the three of them were experts when it came to putting up emotional walls.

It felt… normal. Good, even. And bit by bit, comment by comment, word by word, Janus felt that sense of comfort creeping back in until eventually the three of them were lying on the bed, limbs tangled together and someone’s hand in Janus’ hair, unsure of where one body started and another began.

“Thank you,” they whispered, just loud enough that they knew the others could hear them.

Logan pressed a kiss to the back of their hand, intertwining their fingers and keeping their joined hands pressed tight to his chest. “There’s no need to thank us, my darling. Our love for you was never in question. Not for a single moment.”

And to the murmuring affirmations of Virgil, twin heartbeats echoing in their ears, Janus let themself believe that.

Taglist: @mutechild @super-magical-wizard @shadowsfromthesun @teadays @sandersships @camcam774 @autism-goblin @deadlyhuggles6 @romanthestarstruckqueer @whispers-stuff-in-your-ear @rainboots-are-for-snobs @sanders-and-sides @spirits-in-my-thoughts @hold-my-hat @goodandbadisallmadeupnonsense @stop-it-anxiety @figurative-falsehood @jadedfantasies231 @idosanderssidespromptssometimes @poisonedapples @sanders-screams @another-sandersidesblog @do-not-just-see-observe @mychemicalpanicattheemo @primaryyblogg @localtransgrape @fandomsofrandom @gattonero17 @airiervessel @ollyollyoxinfree .

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #logan sanders #virgil sanders #deceit sanders #analoceit #trans sides #nb sides #haven't written a coming out fic since understanding pride #been skirting around this for ages hahah #lo can write #2.5k milestone

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bubbelpop2 · 3 years

Text

Gay and Tumblr etiquette: a guide

This is a compilation of rules that keep the lgbt community a safe space for all. A lot of the older gays are getting sick of seeing recycled bigotry, and we’re here to tell you what the general opinions are in the real world. Some of the content in this post contains not necessarily gay content, but cay culture. Gay culture is all about the lack of heteronormative toxicity, the promotion of critical thinking, teaching the youth that they need to rely on themselves and friends instead of the government, because the government doesn’t really care, and the abolition of White Christian ethics being forced onto people.

You need to read this essay. [x] You need to know your history. It’s important, you need to know it. This is the baseline you need to know. ACAB.

If you want to know more than just the baseline: [ here ]

Don’t debate transphobes, racists, or n@zis. Don’t debate them, block them. Do not reply. You are giving them a place to express themselves. This emboldens closeted racists and transphobes. Don’t do it.

If you disagree with someone who isn’t any of the above, carefully consider their argument. Could they be right? Is it a lesson that you’re just not ready for? Block them, ponder their words, and consider your stance on the subject. Only a fool walks away from an argument more convinced than ever that they are correct.

Pedophiles are not in the lgbt community. Pedophilia is not a kink nor is it a sexuality. It has been proven to be a mental illness in which the brain is shaped and ordered incorrectly.

“Queer” Is not an inherently harmful term. It is a term that the community has reclaimed, and many people identify as queer. By calling someone who is queer “gay” or policing THEIR right to be called queer, you are erasing history. Queer is a term that people have used in the lgbt community since before stonewall. Queer isn’t your term to take away, especially if you’re not queer.

“Gay” Is an umbrella term. If someone LIKES being called “gay”, no matter what the complex rules of their attraction are, respect it. Don’t insist that they belong in a certain box according to your definition of different sexualities.

If someone is questioning their sexuality, don’t push them. The point is for them to FIND OUT what they’re attracted to, and what they like best. Whether they turn out to be gay, straight, bi, or ace, leave them the hell alone. Especially if they’re a kid.

“Terfs” used to be called “political lesbians” because people who were not wlw would take over lgbt spaces and advocate to “kill all men” and would point actual wlws against men. This is terrible. Bisexual wlws deserve to express their sexuality fully without judgement. Trans lesbians deserve to express their gender without judgement. ANYBODY who is amab or trans, or attracted to amab or trans people, deserves a safe place to express themselves. We got rid of these “political lesbians” and stopped them from poisoning the minds of bisexuals and trans men. We can do it again.

(” queer is a slur “ was started by terfs. stop saying it if you’re not a terf.)

Nonbinary is not a fad. Nonbinary people have always existed. It is not new, and you are not allowed to police other people’s gender.

There are a lot of things to gender as a whole. Your gender, what you identify as, is a large part of your identity. Some people identify as female, some people identify as male, and some people identify as neither, both, or any combination of any other genders! This may be confusing, but that’s okay. You don’t need to completely understand someone’s gender, and someone may not even understand their own! What IS important is that you respect their gender expression.

Gender expression is mostly just two things. Pronouns, and Presentation. Pronouns (He/She/They/Xhey/Ect) are for the person who has them. Pronouns don’t have to “match” your gender. Your presentation doesn’t have to “match” your gender, either. It’s all about your comfort. You don’t have to understand someone’s gender identity, but you DO have to respect their name and pronouns. Always.

Mogai is a great term, even if it’s not popular. Mogai is an all-inclusive term for all people who are not allocishet.

Being ace does not make you straight. Being aro does not make you straight. Straight = You are actively and wholly attracted to the opposite gender. It is the lack of attraction to the opposite gender that includes them in the community, as well as the constant harassment from both straight and gay people for being “broken”

“Femboy” Is not an inherently harmful term. Calling a trans woman a “Femboy” without her permission is. People who use the term to refer to themselves, or to refer to people who are comfortable with the term, are not infringing upon anybody. You need to stop taking away terms from gay people because of what transphobic pieces of shit do. Yes, shitty transphobes refer to trans women in porn as femboys. This doesn’t mean that who the term was ORIGINALLY meant for, which is, gay feminine men, can’t use it to describe themselves. This is far too similar to “queer is a slur” for me to change my mind on this. A lot of people identify as femboys, and use the term for their comfort, leave them alone.

Truscum and Trumeds are gross. Their entire personality is built off of policing other trans people’s identities. They want trans people to act like they’re cis, and conform to heteronormative societal standards. Their opinion is that it’s flamboyant trans people’s fault that cis people are transphobic. Which is simply not true. Transphobes are Transphobes because they’re bigots. It is never, in any shape or form, the fault of the oppressed for being oppressed. Ever.

Your love for the oppressed should come before your hatred of the oppressor. This does not mean that you expressing your hatred is “performative” in any way. You’re allowed to hate the oppressor, verbally, and often, so long as you, personally, know which is more important.

It is not okay to call people out. Calmly talking to people, or simply blocking them, is best. It is not okay to send hate anons. It is not okay to interact with bigots willingly. It is not okay to do something that is mean-spirited.

Be gay do crimes. (As in, fuck the police, they’ve always been against every minority. Including us.)

Disabled people are beautiful and loved. All gay spaces should be accessible.

The people that lead the protest that sparked lgbt rights across the world were black trans women. Remember that. Remember it good and well.

Autism isn’t shameful. People with autism are worthy of respect and admiration.

Punk culture is antifa and gay culture. Bigots like punk fashion, and dress in punk fashion. We call these people “posers” and they should be beaten if spotted being a bigot at a punk function. Punk culture is all about being against the systemic oppression of the lower class and marginalized. Many punks go to protests for human rights and better work qualities.

It is neve okay to police someone else’s identity. Period.

It is never okay to police someone’s kinks. Pay attention to actual abusers and rapists, not fictional and 100% consensual scenarios.

Child touchers get their heads bashed in with baseball bats.

It’s not okay to bully people for shipping anything. Yes, anything, including abusive ships. Quit telling people to kill themselves over fictional people. What you SHOULD be worried about, is straight white boys who romanticize REAL abuse towards REAL people, not people just minding their own business and expressing themselves via FICTIONAL characters. Don’t tackle ships, tackle rape culture in real life. Go outside.

It is never okay to police someone’s writing, art, or artistic expression. Yes, dark and violent content included. The idea that you can be punished for thoughts or expression of thoughts, regardless of if you’ve ACTUALLY harmed anyone, is white and Christian purity culture. If you think this is okay, read this: [x]

The above is in the same mindset of soccer moms that say “people who play video games are inherently violent” which is simply not true at all. Here’s an interesting post on a similar topic that will interest you: [x]

Just follow lace code. Doc martens have a lace code in the punk community, If you’re not a racist, follow the lace code.

mosh pit etiquette [x]

more about gay punk: [x]

That’s all I could think of for now! Any other queer elders wanna have a stab at it?

#queer #queer culture #old queer culture #witch #old lgbt culture #lgbt #shut up bubbz

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strongxsurvivors · 3 years

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MLM SHIPS, FETIZATION, AND MISOGYNY IN THE RPC.

This is a small, or not-so-small, rant about a problem ( in my opinion ) I see more and more often in both the rp community and the art community. As a member of both, I just can’t escape this issue and need to put out some food for thought for everyone to read.

Not all of you are going to agree with me. Maybe, some will want to add in their two cents. Maybe, it’ll go over someone’s head completely. I simply appreciate you putting the time into reading this and giving it, like, two seconds of thought. It may not be an issue for you or be completely unrelated to you, but this is an issue I’m sure others will be able to relate to.

I will preface this by saying that I am a twenty-five year old transman. I am bisexual. I have a degree in psychology and excelled in gender and sexuality psychology. THIS DOES NOT, BY ANY MEANS, MEAN I AM THE END ALL BE ALL OF INFO IN THESE SUBJECTS. My experience is my own and I will not gatekeep or instruct people how to think in concerns of these subjects. I am only saying these things simply to assure you that I am valid in my perspective because I am in these communities. Please, don’t think that I want to invalidate anyone or say that I am better than you because I am these things.

Alright, let’s get the ball rolling because I have a lot of feelings and thoughts on a lot of points.

The number one thing that finally set me off to make this post is the absolute WORSHIP of mlm ( male loving male ) ships in the rpc ( and art comm., but this ain’t about them rn ). I have seen, countless times, entire blogs dedicated to shipping male characters to male characters.

Now, initially, this isn’t a problem. Having a male homosexual ship or homosexual male characters is absolutely fine. Peep my blog, I obviously have some. But, it’s the act of taking a character that was originally female, cisbend them to be male, and shipping them with another male character that's the problem. What was wrong with the female character? You kept her personality but made her male? Why? Is it necessary? It’s the same character. If you are uncomfortable writing female-related smut, fade to black. Smut is not necessary if you are truly focused on the essence of this character.

By making this character male, you are essentially saying that the only problem was that she was female. That’s it. That is misogyny. If you are focusing on her as a character, her body shouldn’t matter. As if females equate to their body when sex and gender are two separate things. But, you are bringing females down by getting rid of this one thing. You are telling them they are not good enough. That, maybe, you would like them better if they were the same but male. Am I being extreme about this? Yes. But, I’m trying to drive home my point here.

Another point to make about fetishizing mlm ships is that, even if you state your character is bisexual, pansexual, etc., that does not give you a pass. If your whole blog has characters who want only male partners even if some are stated to be something other than homosexual, you’re fetishizing them. If you put no effort in exploring relationships with females — platonic, romantic, or otherwise — you may as well call them homosexual and call it a day. I’m not here to dictate how you should play your character, but it’s easy to see where your loyalties lie when there is no evidence of female characters on your blog that you’ve interacted with. Actions speak louder than words. Rpc may be made up of words, but make your words take action. Plenty of people complain about their females being ignored. Go help them. Make your characters be friends, enemies, a crime-fighting duo idk. Females exist, don’t act like they don’t.

Oh, and changing a canon mlm ship to a wlw ship by cisbending them doesn’t change things. You’re still saying that those male characters were better than the pre-existing female characters. I would recommend you focus on the actual females of whatever medium you’ve taken these characters from, or create ocs that are genuinely wlw. This is mostly a thing I see in the art community, but I have seen it in the rpc.

We’re going to move on now to some transphobic and trans fetishization, which is fewer and far between. I say a few because I barely see trans characters out there in the community. But, when I do, OH BOY.

Simply stating a character is trans and doing nothing to upkeep what you said does not make your character trans. I’m sorry. Taking a pre-existing character and changing their gender and calling them trans is a sticky situation. I will probably get hate for this, but what are you going to do? It’s Tumblr. I would just prefer to see more original trans characters out there, as if actual thought and development went into their creation.

What I mean by a sticky situation is this, and it goes back to a point I made earlier about cisbending characters to fit mlm ships: if you’re only making a character a transman to make him gay, that's fetishizing both mlm ships and trans people. I’m not saying a transperson can’t be gay and I’m not here to limit diverse characters — this is why I say this is a sticky situation. But, what I am saying is that if you only have muses that are involved in mlm ships and then you add a transmale character to also have an mlm ship based on faceclaims, it’s kinda sus.

Another thing I want to point out is if you are playing a trans character, refer to them by their chosen name and pronouns. You would think this is a no brainer, but you would be surprised. Even if your trans character is closeted, it is your job as the writer to write the correct name and pronouns. Other character interacting with your trans character could use their dead name and wrong pronouns — it makes sense, they don’t know your character is trans if they are closeted and non-passing. But, as you write your character, you and the reader are aware of your character’s true self. Neglecting to reflect your character’s true self through their chosen and name and pronouns is transphobic and harmful. Seeing things like this sends me into a whirlwind of dysphoria.

Changing a pre-existing character to nonbinary rather than cisbending them would be a recommendation from me and some others ( nonbinary individuals ) I’ve talked to. First off, there are very few nonbinary characters in general — media or otherwise. So, taking a pre-existing character and making them nonbinary is a nice thing to see. And, since the character is nonbinary, if they’re in a relationship with a male - the fetishization is redundant.

Now, who do I see making these wacky characters? Mostly cis females and trans men. I think it mostly stems from internalized misogyny as, when growing up, we’ve lived in societies where we are taught men are better than women. It can get to the point where cis females will glorify men so much that they have to have mlm ships. The same can be said for trans men. I’m not saying — as is often used against trans men — that this internalized misogyny / glorification of men has caused them to be trans. Obviously not. But, the internalized misogyny is still there enough to where they may either fear interacting with female characters. It might make them uncomfortable, dysphoric, or they just may think men are better. Women do not deserve to be the catalyst for someone’s discomfort. They are people. They are everywhere. They deserve to be loved. If they make you uncomfortable, if you think you are better than them, if you think men are better, I want you to sit down with yourself and think about this.

When I first realized that I was trans, I had some serious internalized misogyny going on. I would be uncomfortable writing female characters. I would be uncomfortable interacting with them. There was this discomfort that started to manifest in my behaviors and thoughts. Luckily, I had the best person in my life who told me that I was acting misogynistic and I needed to change. Pushing away females was me trying to come to terms with my transness. You don’t need to expel females away from you to imbed in yourself that you are trans. You don’t need to raise yourself above them as men have done for centuries. Do not become part of the problem. Accept the feminine parts of yourself, accept females, and I promise that the fear or resentment you may have with females and female characters will fade away.

Now, with all that being said, my last few words:

Being trans does not give you a pass to do the things I’ve mentioned. Being cis does not give you a pass. Being straight, gay, bi, etc does not give you a pass. If you are a gay man, I understand why you would only have male mlm ships. That doesn’t mean you can’t platonically interact with female characters. We all have made dumb mistakes and judgments in the past. I know for sure I’ve written some pretty cringe stuff in the past. It happens. The best we can do? Learn and take action on what we claim to have learned. Again, actions speak louder than words. Don’t piggy-back on posts that call out people for behavior like this when you participate in some of these behaviors yourself. Just because one person got called out and the spotlight is on them doesn’t mean you’re better than them or that you’ve been given a pass. If you read something like this, reflect on yourself and wonder — objectively — do you do some of these things? You may without realizing it or meaning to. In the end, I’m just a small blog that’s been around for seven years. I think we can get better as a community, but only if we help each other out. This is not a call out post. Call out and cancel culture is gross and counterproductive. I ain’t here for it. Call me out if you want, but what’ll that do? Nothing accept invalidate my opinion.

If you made it this far, I’m sorry. I took up a lot of your time probably. But, I want to thank you so much for reading this. As I said, you may agree, disagree, and not really get what I’m saying. I don’t know what I’m saying half the time either. But, I appreciate you regardless. Please, stay safe and healthy. I hope you have a wonderful year ahead of you.

#indie rp #indie rpc #indie discourse #gingersnaps #idk what to tag so here we are

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p0publur · 4 years

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I wanna talk about genderswaps.

And what I want to talk about specifically is how I, personally, have found genderswaps to be a good way for people to explore their own identities. Yes, there are a lot of gross things that come out of genderswaps, but for me personally, I know I am not one of them.

Under the cut for a long, somewhat personal story. PLEASE DO NOT REBLOG.

When I first created Vel, she was a genderswap--I myself am a female bodied person. I was a tomboy for most of my life, and I always wanted to be considered one of the boys, but I obviously didn’t relate to having a male body. I loved Sonic the Hedgehog since 2002 and around 2009 I was getting into the idea of Sonic... but as a girl! Back then, I didn’t really know much about gender and trans-ness or being genderqueer or nonbinary. I had no idea about these things, just that I know that for myself, I didn’t relate to the idea of how a “girl” was.

I proceeded to design my ideal for Sonic--and that was Sonic, except female bodied, and using “she/her” pronouns. I was told that this was a genderswap, I found genderswaps to be a fun way for me to explore writing characters in a way that I could relate to, especially since for a very long time, the Sonic series has been lacking in diverse female character representation, and like there had been one tomboy in the series at the time, and she was hated by pretty much everybody except me (Marine the Raccoon).

I began to receive nasty messages about Velocity. “If she’s a girl, why doesn’t she have breasts?” or “You can’t tell she’s a girl! give her eyes like Rouge” or “why doesn’t she wear heels or have a huge ass?” I hated this, because I was like Of course she doesn’t have these things, Sonic doesn’t have these things! And then I’d get the messages “If you’re not going to make her look like a girl, then just play Sonic instead.”

I hated this, because I was like “Why would she have to change so much just to match YOUR idea of what a girl is? She’s still the same person! but I want to write her as a girl!”

I stuck to my guns--and she ended up getting a few fans. People would tell me “Thank god you don’t write her like other genderbends.” because I wanted to continue writing a CHARACTER, not some weird idea of what people thought.

When I found out that people were saying genderswaps were transphobic, I panicked. I had never ever used them as such, but I can see how the wording can sound like you can only choose between two things. I started to wonder, maybe I can just change the name! I saw posts that came down to “instead of writing a genderswap, just write a trans character!!” But I do not have any experience being mtf trans. I did not want to stress over and over about messing up representation that is so very important to people! I wanted Velocity to be female-bodied and I wanted her to use she/her pronouns, but I didn’t want to write her as some GROSS idea of what being a woman is to a bunch of cishet men!

It wasn’t until last year that I realized that I was genderqueer. I have been genderqueer my whole life but I didn’t know how to describe it until now. And Velocity helped me get there--but of course, I’d already made her blog.

I wanted her to mean something, I wanted her to be freeing for people. But I always feel a lot of stress when I write her and draw her... because I am not writing a character that is meaningful to me. I am constantly afraid of slipping up.

She’s not cis, she’s genderqueer like me, or maybe genderfluid is the better descriptor. I want to write her with the body that I am familiar with. I do not want people to label me as transphobic when I am ANYTHING but transphobic!! Figuring out who you are is a MESSY process and it’s not cut and dry!

Is it too late to change her? To write the character I want to write? A genderfluid she/her Sonic? Or will people take one look at her and go “Sonic but as a girl? This is a transphobic genderswap blog.”

I guess that’s a risk I’d have to take. It hurts, but this character is too important to me to just not play in the way that makes her meaningful to me.

Her personality wouldn’t change, her backstory would be adjusted quite a bit--but I would be writing her from how I’ve seen her these last eleven years--and I’d FINALLY feel like I was writing from a perspective I more so understood and wasn’t afraid of making mistakes with.

I hope that you guys can give me a chance.

#ooc ;;#(( i'm like. shaking as i type this up.#(( please give me the benefit of the doubt #(( i've been alive for 31 years and i am trying my best #(( i'm not a cishet dude writing a gross genderswap

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alorenawrites · 3 years

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Thoughts on Loki, Gender, Sex, and Identity

So...I've seen a few posts on transphobia embedded in Loki and I wanted to examine my own thoughts on this a bit. I'm not going to dig too deeply, just hit on a few of my thoughts on the matter regarding my own positionality as a demisexual, demiromantic, bisexual, nonbinary, gender funky human.

To begin, my own relationship to sex and gender is complicated, based on my own experiences. I'm fine with people not having this same interpretation because of differences in experience and I'm not going to sit around and listen to anyone bombarding me with statements about how wrong they think I am. Go write a post with relevance to your own experience and please don't shit on mine. The purpose of this is to share my own thoughts on this matter, not to get into an argument. I have enough real-world stress regarding these things and don't need them on Tumblr as well.

I've seen the argument that Loki is gender fluid and it is wrong to say he is sex fluid or that sex fluidity is a way to undercut or deny the validity of gender fluidity. I don't see it this way. To begin, we don't actually see Loki display gender fluidity, even though shape-shifting is clearly within his skill set. MCU Loki shifts into Sif once in The Dark World, but other than that, there is little evidence outside of his word at this. I know those creating this story did refer to him as gender fluid, but I question whether those who stand outside that fluidity might not be as well-versed in how gender fluidity comes in a myriad of experiences. I am fine with the idea that perhaps Loki still uses traditionally male pronouns while in other shapes. I am not considering comic interpretations of Loki in this, as there are so many different storylines that I think they would be hard to sum up into this character. And it is fine if you don't see this the same way.

In myth, when Loki transforms into a maiden during the marriage of "Freya" (Thor in disguise) to Thrym, the book I reference (Neil Gaiman's retellings of the myths) does, at one point, refer to Loki as "he." When the mythological Loki transforms into the mare to lure the horse Svadilfari away from the builder of their wall, the references to the mare indicate "she" (and it is worth noting that in this retelling, the mare is never referred to as Loki by name), but when Loki returns he is referred to using male pronouns yet still as Sleipnir's mother.

In the television show, Loki's file lists his sex as fluid. As gender and sex are entirely separate, I took this into consideration as a part of what defines a Loki- they may change physical sex. I did not see an entry for gender on the file. I may have missed it. But to me, the lack of listing gender and the inclusion instead of sex leads me to believe that the TVA doesn't much care for the gender of a variant, but rather the body in which they are most likely to inhabit. In this case, it would seem that knowing if a Loki is more likely to appear as a physical type without regard to pronouns or gender might be considered more important data than gender identity and pronouns. I examine this as someone who has to handle grant data that requires a sex marker in the demographics- not a gender identity, but an assigned-at-birth or otherwise legally documented sex.

I don't see these two things as mutually exclusive or an erasure of one another. I would see it as a way for the TVA to try to classify a variant without regards to any sort of identity. After all, if Lokis are destined for pruning, who cares how they see themselves? It's not like they are going to have an extended conversation with them- process them, judge them, prune them.

In the context of the Lokis we meet, and the note that they haven't met a female Loki, I do wonder why they haven't met one yet. Is it because they don't catch every Loki that comes through? Is it because they themselves have only ever experienced being Loki as men and and haven't assumed otherwise? I don't know. But I don't see it as impossible to explain, either. How many Loki variants have come through? And how many haven't survived? We don't see every variant in the Void that we see in Mobius' briefing holograms. Who didn't make it, and who is missing? Yes, the comment that she "sounds terrifying" could be read as incredibly sexist, but at the same time...Lokis grew up with stories of the Valkyrie, powerful warrior women who they likely looked at with awe, wondering why these towers of strength were no longer with them. The Valkyrie predate them and are mythic figures- we see how Thor reacts to meeting one of these warriors in Ragnarok. Given that this line comes from Loki the Elder, someone who leans into the power of sorcery and the capabilities of magic, wouldn't it make sense that the combination of these skills would seem terrifying? A warrior of the legendary capabilities of the Valkyrie combined with the might of a Loki sorcery? I mean, I'd probably think the same thing, and I think this is possibly one reason why the variant Loki we come to know would agree with him- she has been jumping through time, surviving apocalypses that likely terrify him, enchanting anyone she needs to use, and she can run circles around him. Given the tonal shift in the delivery of the line "and she needs me," I interpret this as the blustering Loki does when he wants to feel more important than he really is- he's trying to justify why he needs to find her to someone else (and possibly to himself) instead of just saying it's because he cares deeply about her and wants to know what the hell that means. Sylvie can clearly take care of herself and doesn't really need rescue. He wants to feel important enough to go back and to convince the others he is as well. That she could render him irrelevant is something that would be terrifying to someone who craves attention and affirmation.

Mobius says that the most common iterations of Lokis look like the one standing before him, yet Loki does encounter a variant file from California in the early 20th century that refers to Sylvie. So the TVA knows that there is a rare chance that a sex fluid Loki could exist (and they have, presumably, pruned them). While I wish this had been explored further, I don't necessarily see it as a transphobic intent. Did it resonate that way with some people? Yes. And that's fine. Their feelings on the matter are valid.

Another element of my interpretation of this comes from my own experiences of gender expression. Most of the time during which I have been out as nonbinary, people have read my gender as a woman. I like my long dresses and I have an extensive collection of vintage women's clothing. I also have a decent collection of corsets and well-tailored suits that fit my body type. I don't bind my chest. My hair varies from very short to as long as it will grow (not far past my shoulders). I occasionally wear eyeshadow, regardless of what gender I am on any given day. I very rarely read masculine and when I feel neutral, I still don't bother to alter my body shape, only sometimes choosing a bra or bra tank top that decentuates my curves (which, granted, aren't dramatic). So the concept of a gender fluid individual choosing gendered pronouns and reading as male during the (relatively short) time in his lifespan during which the audience knows him doesn't seem odd to me, as it is how I've existed (and I, too, used gendered pronouns for a few years on my nonbinary journey- they were a default while I searched for something that suited me better). But I have known nonbinary people who have exclusively used gendered pronouns and it does not invalidate their gender identity, nor does gendered expressions of that identity. The concept that we would only see a male presenting Loki doesn't seem very odd because I have lived a stretch of my life during which I, too, presented a very femme gender expression and used traditionally female pronouns. But that did not make me less nonbinary.

And, of course, this is assuming that gender fluidity is part of his identity, which we are never told in the text of the story. I reject that everything a creator says must be added to the text of a piece of media simply because the piece also has to stand on its own and be interpreted on that level as well. We do know that Loki shifts sex, which makes sense for someone who shifts bodies, as sex is tied more to bodies than gender is.

The point in this is that we can't assume the gender of a fictional character, just as we can't assume from appearance the gender of a living human. I may read as a woman, but this is not my gender identity and no one should be assuming that my clothes are meant to project gender. Reducing gender to an outward and bodily expression of sex is not something with which I am comfortable, and it seems that some people are conflating the two in their interpretation. Again, your experiences may differ from mine and it's fine to see this in another way.

But here's another very important thing this show can demonstrate. Allow an anecdote. My children watched this show with me. My son is nearly 7, my daughter a few months from being 10. She is very femme- loves makeup, frilly dresses, dolls, princesses, My Little Pony, the whole shebang of activities stereotypically associated with the childhood of girls. At this point in her life, she very much asserts that she is a girl. The same goes for my son- he very much asserts himself as a boy. When we were watching together, we talked about Loki being gender fluid, just like their Mum. We talked about Loki being bisexual, just like their Mum. They understood that just because Loki looks one way, it doesn't mean he is that way...again, just like their Mum. There is power in the idea that some of us are in this same position- we are assumed to be cisgender based on our appearances, but our identities are more complex than that. I thought this was a good window for my children to see through and one I could turn into a teachable moment about all the different sorts of people there are in this world. This is the blessing of imperfect media- we can find ways to learn from it and to share opportunities in it for open interpretation with those around us. And the lesson of not jumping to conclusions about gender or sex based on appearance is a deeply important one for young children to understand.

Is this an area in which I have a problem with the show? No. Does this mean the show couldn't have done more or better? Also no. We do need a variety of types of representation. But seeing the possibilities of this being someone a little more like me (though alas, I can't shift shape)? That was nice.

Hopefully we can see more of this in the future, but if we don't, we can create transformative works to fill in the gaps. It's what fan communities have always done and will continue to do. When I fell into fandom years ago with Harry Potter, long before the movies were all out, so many works were there to add queerness, racial diversity, language diversity, disability representation, all of it, into the series. It didn't stop us from still enjoying what it meant to us in those times and places and I don't think we have to outright reject this show for the imperfections we see in it. It can still thrill us and speak to something in us we've been lacking.

And in my case, that is the affirmation of wearing traditionally gender coded clothes while still asserting my pronouns are ze/zir/zirs and my gender is nonbinary, though also gender fluid, gender optional, or gender funky and that my oft-assumed-to-be-hetero relationship makes me no less bi or any other piece of my complex relationship to sexual orientation (and sharing that affirmation with my kids).

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maybeshesnaped · 3 years

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I don't support jk rowling, I don't think she made a good deal to speak publicly in that way. But. I don't think she "attack" anyone. I'm nonbinary and I don't feel attacked by her, other queer and trans don't feel attacked by her too. Then, ALL you stated about the "proves" in her books that she is the awfullest being on earth is internet trash exaggerated by haters.. And bit racist too. Bankers are goblins, so racism, because all Jews are bankers...??? I would feel offended that people assume I am a banker because I'm Jew... Chang is a common chinese surname, Cho maybe not a good choice for a forename (I checked with some Chinese friends), Rawling is not Chinese, and publishers didn't correct it. They have their responsibility too on this type of mistakes. HIV IS A SERIOUS ILLNESS that caused the death of thousands of people, especially in the late 80s / 90s when HP was written, it changes the life of someone for the rest of their existence, personal and work relationship, etc. Negate that is denial. Then I don't think licantropy is as much a metaphor for that, but still, I don't see a bad representation in Remus Lupin. He is one of the most positive character in HP.

At last. Yes. I will unfollow you. But I gave you my opinion. And I add an advice. Being so hateful to jk Rowling brings absolutely nothing. It's a huge lie that the WHOLE trans community is against her, and this war to her is another (yes, another cause she has being hated from a while before this transphobia thing) rumble by haters. And online there's a lot of people who have to find something to be hateful, a reason for their hate to spread.

Again, I don't support her, she didnt make her mind clear before those statements. Her fears do not involve trans people, but criminal CIS MEN. And no, she never addressed trans as criminals, but she gave the impression to do that, which was the mistake. Everybody has fears, phobias, she was abused, has a trauma, pretty understandable she fears men. But her personal fears should not have carried her to write those comments publicly. Then if you feel angry for some reason jogging in the park is much more healthy than rumbling on the internet.

whew, there’s a lot to unpack here

while i do agree that not all trans/queer people took offense at jkr’s stance, that doesn’t take away the fact that the majority did. in addition, what i disagree with in your post, is that jkr’s harmful opinion is solely focused on criminal cis men.

jkr is a person who wrote a whole ass book about a man who dressed as a woman and killed women. she really and shamelessly went into such great lengths to vilify trans women.

“One wonders what critics of Rowling’s stance on trans issues will make of a book whose moral seems to be: never trust a man in a dress,” Jake Kerridge writes in his review.

she is also the kind of person who praised a woman who compared being transgender to doing blackface as i showed in this post

she is also the kind of person who promoted an anti-trans shop that sells disgusting anti trans items. a shop that sells pins saying “trans women are men” and “notorious transphobe”.

Other items they sell include pins that say “Woman is not a costume” and “Transmen are my sisters” and “Sorry about your dick bro” and “XX (female)” and “F*ck your pronouns” and “Transactivism is Misogyny,” some of which even display the trans flag just in case their hateful rhetoric wasn’t clear enough

it’s pretty clear that she doesn’t only target criminal cis men, yes???

and don’t tell me that she might not have known and all that naive bullshit. she knows what she’s doing.

the few men who take advantage of trans people’s struggles should NOT be the talking point on whether they, as a group, deserve rights, love, and acceptance. PERIOD.

the fact that you can’t see that she targets the entire trans community and that you say you don’t support her only because she voiced her opinion publicly, tells me that you do in fact support her, if only she kept her views to herself. so i’m glad you unfollowed me.

as far as her use of stereotypes in HP are concerned, again, you are mistaken. you “don’t think lycanthropy is a metaphor for that” you say, but jkr herself says it is. comparing an illness like HIV/AIDS to being a monster who actively harms others is not okay, despite the author’s intentions. it’s simply a very poor-thought out metaphor.

lastly, jkr may not even have realized that she uses anti-semitic tropes in her work. but that doesn’t mean it’s not there.

Connor Goldsmith, a literary agent says: “Rowling’s goblins are nakedly anti-Semitic caricatures — a race of gnarled, hook-nosed misers obsessed with gold, who believe they own everything they’ve ever produced and wizards who purchase things only ‘rent’ from them. They appear to run the entire wizarding economy, and trust no one but their own kind. It’s suggested that secret cabals of goblins work to undermine the wizard government. The fact that these creatures appear in a book series which is ostensibly an allegory for the Holocaust is as distressing as it is bizarre; one hopes Rowling didn’t intend to create such a caricature, because it really undermines her project, but intent isn’t really what matters at the end of the day.”

i and many others agree that she did use anti-semitic stereotypes. and there’s plenty of arguments to support our position. do with that what you will. sadly, you seem to make a lot of incoherent excuses about all the unfortunate elements she used in her books.

i’m not by any means saying we should cancel the books and reject them because of all these problematic features. i am saying however that they need to be recognized and discussed, just like jkr’s militant and very evident transphobia.

i am angry, and we all should, because her views are dangerous and harmful. gaslighting us and saying “go for a jog” simply because we express our very legitimate anger and dissapointment regarding a beloved author who shaped many childrens’ lives and ended up invalidating their very existence, only makes you look like a jerk, not someone with an argument to be taken into account.

#this is my opinion #i am a cis woman so i might be wrong somewhere #if so i am open to discussion in the dms #anti jk rowling #ask

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dykemonstera · 3 years

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you are not an enby. you’re a straight girl. you’re a straight girl who can’t imagine why lesbians wouldn’t want to date a man who transitioned yesterday because you’re not bisexual or gay, you’re a heterosexual girl who’s upset her attraction to wonder woman doesn’t mean she’d ever date a real woman. you think your non binary but you present yourself as female at home and at school and nothings changed apart from you getting a bunch of validation posts thrown your way. you get angry at radfems for advocating for REAL activism instead of this “eyeliner so sharp it could kill a man” feminism you see on tumblr 24/7. imagine anyone finding this embarrassing blog, looking at those pronouns which you don’t legitimately think are real. how dare you go to lesbians and call them bigots for being same sex attracted? we’re right back to where we fucking started aren’t we? you realise gay men and women weren’t oppressed because they were attracted to “masculinity” or “femininity”, they were oppressed for liking the wrong genitals. and you yell at 30 year old lesbians for talking about this as if they’re out of line.

why are you so pressed youre writing a fucking essay in my inbox lol, girl i dont even like wonder woman, i present as me? nonbinary can look however people want it to look? what would you suggest i look like oh wait i dont care. its not real activism its just transphobia darling, im not even on tumblr that much anymore lol, why wouldnt i legitimately think theyre real you know more people use they/them or xe/xem then just me right?? i dont care who you fuck im not telling you to fuck trans women or people with penises, you just dont have to be a transphobe about it, im also not a girl or in school im 20. you are not a feminist youre just a proud transphobe

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quirklove · 3 years

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Hiya! I just found your blog and I absolutely love how you write for Stain 🥺👉👈 So I was just wondering if I could request him with. Nonbinary Hero s/o? My Dysphoria has been off the charts being stuck at home where all I hear is my dead name and original pronouns 😭 I've been in need of some validation 😭

Thank you so much, sweetie! I’m personally a little insecure about my portrayal of Stain so this really means a lot to me!! 😭

My brain is still in other fandoms like the big old galaxy brain it is, but I like to do requests that involve comfort as soon as I can!

I’m so sorry you’ve been dealing with that junk; it’s frustrating that some people either don’t realize or don’t care that they’re hurting others. I really, truly hope that you’re able to get into a healthier situation soon!

In the meantime, let me reassure you that you are INCREDIBLY valid, your feelings are valid, and you deserve ALL the love and kindness! ❤️❤️❤️

Fingers crossed that this makes your day a little better, sweetpea 🤗

CHIZOME

It’s possible he might be a little confused about the concept of nonbinary people in general, but he always tries to be respectful. He looks up things online to ensure that he understands what that means and what it all entails. As a whole, even if he can’t fully wrap his mind around it (simply because his S/O is the only nonbinary person he’s ever known), he’s open to learning and he does his best to keep (Name) = they/them/theirs as a constant in his mind. He might slip up with the pronouns sometimes in the beginning; he tries to just apologize and move on instead of making a thing about it. If it happens, though, he resolves to himself to train his mind and mouth harder so he doesn’t hurt them.

Honestly, some of the heroes he makes an example of are those who are, among other things, transphobic, especially in regards to his S/O. If another hero deadnames or misgenders them, expect the next morning’s newspapers to have headlines of that hero in the hospital. Oops. His S/O will probably give him an earful about that, particularly if they know that Chizome is also Stain. Obviously they know his methods are far from ideal, and if they give him the “I appreciate you caring about me but beating up other heroes on my behalf is irresponsible and a dick move, do you really wanna be that asshole who’s always getting in fights for his datemate?” speech, he’ll at least have the good decency to look ashamed of himself. … And promise, in a rare moment of docility, that he won’t let anything personal like that cloud his work again. (They’d likely prefer it if he didn’t do it at all, but unfortunately…)

He happily lets them come stay with him if things are ever getting a bit too much or bad at their place, if they don’t yet live on their own. Even though his apartment is small and a bit cramped, at least it’s a little shelter from the rest of the world. He gets home from his ‘day job’ early in the morning, maybe just as they’re getting up to get ready for another day of heroism. Somehow he still convinces them to stay in bed for five more minutes. Just long enough so he can hold them close and murmur their name against their neck. No matter what, he loves them and wants to protect them more than anything else.

What’s this they find while they’re messing around having some flirty fun one night? An easily hidden tattoo he recently got? And it’s their name?? Well, it was supposed to be a thing he showed off to them as a birthday present, but he guesses it’s fine that they see it now. There’s even a little heart at the end of their name like a period. Like it’s final, that he will never love anyone else as much as he loves (Name).

There are some people he only calls by their hero name — whether it’s because he doesn’t know their real name, or because he respects their hero persona. However, he exclusively calls his S/O by their given name, their real name, unless he’s speaking to someone else about them. Sure, he has complete respect for their hero persona, and that’s never going to change. More than that, though, he respects who they are as a human. When they’re not on the clock, they’re still a hero. At least in his mind. They still treat people kindly and do what’s right, no matter if they’re in costume and being compensated for it. They don’t just stop being a hero when the work day ends. They’re also very possibly the strongest person, emotionally, that he knows. They’re (Name) to him, and (Name) is a true hero. Not (Name) the Spectacular Superhero, but (Name) the person. As far as he’s concerned, thank God for them, and they’re one of the few reasons he still has hope for the future.

#My Hero Academia #Boku no Hero Academia #Chizome #Chizome Akaguro #Stain #headcanons #romantic #fluff #hurt/comfort #drama #IN THIS HOUSE WE STAN A MAN WHO SUPPORTS HIS S/O IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY HE CAN #HE HAS A BIG BRAIN AND IT'S FULL OF LOVE FOR YOU BABEY #Anonymous

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