#As an autistic person this song hits different idk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

loopscereal · 7 months

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Random question, but what's your favorite FHS characters (either from the OG show or your rewrite/AU)?

In the original Freddy, Fred, Bonnie, and Bon immediately caught my attention. I saw Freddy and insanely went 'just like me fr', Fred was duel wielding that fun to watch with underlying tragedy, Bonnie was incredibly fun, I loved how fun he was and how snarky he could be super early on. Some of bons lines, a couple of his songs, just really struck my head and made me go wow! I can work with this! So I did, and for those four I feel like I've kept them relatively the same as their OG counterparts? I dunno, I wouldn't be able to tell from here on the inside, but they all have their roots in the original, pieces I took, pieces i rejected, things i twisted and amplified. Its fun! If you want me to talk about a specific character, I reeeeeeally like how we changed up Golden. Neither of us particularly like canon Golden, so we changed them up. Here is a summary of what I'll be talking about below the cut lmao.

They are still rich, they are not the insane 1% drinking out of gold chalices or whatever, but they are very well off, they are super comfortable. Could have had the opportunity to go to a private school of choice types. Anyways uhhh. Golden, their full name is Golden Belmonte, we gave them nonbinary they/them swag, and then we gave them some more interests and a different family background!! they are Ecuadorian, and the bear they are reflects that.

They are an Andes bear, also known as a spectacles bear or oso de anteojos! It looked like (to me) the spectacles bear had a star shaped pattern on its chest, so I gave Golden a star shaped birth mark. Anyways, this bear is very small. And in comparison to what you normally picture a bear as, they are t i n y, they are smaller than a person (while down on all four paws, they are below the average humans waist.) And with much softer hair as well. Golden reflects both these qualities. They have soft hair and have a different, much rounder and softer build in contrast to all the other bears. Fred/dy, Toddy, Deuz, and Fede all have much bigger, broader, square-er builds.

^ for facial comparison between all the bears. Please ignore how i forgot Golden's eyebrows. (yeah we completely changed Fede, sue me) Visually, we changed Golden's expression range and hairstyle. The hair re-do was done by me, inspired by 50s/60s women hairstyles. I was particularly inspired by Marilyn Monroe, purely visually, and in reference to that, Golden sometimes paints a little Monroe beauty mark on themselves. I also made their hair curly, and kept that odd little asymmetrical/ side-swept (?) thing the original has going on. My best friend Pia changed up their expression range, making them much less expressive. Very little facial expressions, but that does but mean emotionless! Their vocal tone is the same, very little emotion conveyed. Very flat, very monotone, all that. Golden certainly has the ability to push out and present tone and expression, but that would take effort, they just naturally don't. They also have eye-bags naturally,and always have their head tilted to the side Golden is in the student council, very efficient, on top of all their work, lends a hand to anyone who asks, they're academically smart, but bad at social queues. Autism swag.

Genuinely though, they're autistic. They're quite blunt and literal either don't make eye-contact at all or stare directly into your eyes without breaking the hold, they stim by: > bobbing on their tippy-toes, > holding their arms completely parallel to their sides clench their fists then fan out their hand then repeat the motion, > applying pressure to themselves by stepping on their own feet and clasping their hands together or, again, clenching their fists, > doing a sort of 'banging' motion with their arms, as if you're hitting something with your fists, idk how else to describe it lol they also fidget mindlessly with things like drawstrings of a sweater and hold their arms in the t-rex position by default.

Anyways their special interest is architecture, they love it. They also have a special interest on Pokemon, and they enjoying singing and dancing. Their favorite Pokemon is Mimikyu. They are friends with Spring, and got them both matching sweaters. Springs was Pikachu and their own was Mimikyu. They're also open to being social and making friends, especially if they can talk with people about their interests. Here's a shitty concept comic about it

Their family life. Woooooo! It's not a straight forward issue. Lol. Okay so, their family is very close knit, at least in concept. They all share ownership of a company while running different subsections as individuals. Their whole company is a sort of culture center. Some family members sell traditional Ecuadorian, Venezuelan, and Colombian clothing. Others sell food, sweets, ingredients, or teach history, culture and customs. Joy and Golden learned how to sing and dance from this! They started dancing with from learning traditional dances and songs, doing duets and partnered dancing with each other since childhood. Yeah. So, family is pretty rich and well off cause it's multiple people under the same company all accumulating and sharing wealth, always there for each-other n such. There's probably more about this i missed, but I'll reblog this and add more if its something significant. ANYWAYS. Thanks for the ask, and I could totally talk about more characters we changed and added intent to but this is long enough as is. I hope this was a satisfactory and understandable response, sorry if its messy as hell. It's cause id how to explain anything ever lol THANKS AGAIN FOR THE ASK!!!!!!!!

#fnafhs #ask #response #reply #fnafhs golden #golden #loops post #our au #golden belmonte

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hammity-hammer · 1 year

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15 Questions, 15 Tags

@unclewaynemunson tagged me, thank you bug <3333

nickname: ham/hamethyst/hambone (my birthname's amethyst😎 and my dad liked to call me hambone, and it just got shortened over the years)

height: 5'8

last thing i googled: "how to make latkes" bc i forgot if they're shredded or sliced,,, but before that i had googled "old person with sunglasses glasses selfie" which is arguably 10000x funnier

song stuck in my head: absolutely fucking nothing right now tbh, lately Boogie Woogie Wu by ICP's been stuck in my head tho

# followers: 39😎😎😎i am a little guy but i do love all of you <3333 (you have no reason to feel intimidated by everyone else anna cause then wtf am i supposed to be?????)

amount of sleep: uhhh anywhere from 5-10 hours a night, i've got #insomnia lmao (last night i slept like 10 hrs i think? i overslept again)

dream job: oooo good question! genuinely, a pathologist would be sick as fuck! but, that's a lot of school and like i think too much stress. piercing's the cooler job anyways, and i've always been super into piercings so! being a piercer, final answer.

wearing: my mom's beat up low top black converse w my brother's mis-matched white socks(one's an ankle sock and one goes above the ankle bc i'm cool), my raggedy ass jean shorts that i found in my room yesterday, a cropped black tank top w skeleton hands on the titty part & a black & grey plaid sweater to stay warm <33 (also four bracelets that are staples in my outfit and a mushroom necklace and another necklace my friend made me that's amazing and a spell<3)

book/movie that summarizes you: oh fuck! i have never really thought about this, but uhhhhhhh..... i know i related a lot to "Words on Bathroom Walls", not because of schizophrenia (although that part hit close to home? but it turns out i'm just autistic lmfao) but just like... the realizing he was different later than most people do really got to me, and like finding people that loved and supported him even if he was a lil crazy was really comforting for me, because it feels like i've finally gotten my people around me. so yeah, i think that one! this had me thinking hard actually haha

fav song: Either, End of Beginning - Djo, Tennessee Whiskey - Chris Stapleton, or Cherry-Coloured Funk - The Cocteau Twins

aesthetic: i like to say goth clown BUT lately it has been more like... lazy metalhead (i'm aware none of my fav songs were metal BUT that's bc i have too many favorite songs to choose enough)

fav authors: oh god i can't read i don't really have favorites?? anymore? i know darren shan was my favorite when i was younger, the Cirque Du Freak series was my fucking FAVORITE. but lately i just read anne rice cause vampire diaries <333

random fact: uhhhh,,,,,, i have no idea man,, i was in choir for ten years? like with school??? maybe that's cool i guess?

i'll tag @solosnail @rhaenyyras @fagsculinity bc ! fun times and idk if i've seen y'all do any,,,,, if any of y'all were tagged already just ignore me :pp (also if you wanna do this go ahead !! tag me <3)

#ham thoughts #little tag game !#get to know ham

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azems-familiar · 1 year

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I am This Close to watching the untamed

So if you want to perhaps yell about it or something (since you’ve gotten me into stuff that way before) that could be cool idk

OH MY GOD PLEASE WATCH IT

okay to start with. the live action show is very good and a great place to start but it has some important differences from the novel and the donghua (animated show). i personally prefer a combination of cql (the untamed/the live action, that's the acronym i'll be using for it from now on) and the donghua; the novel suffers a lot of lost in translation effect and whatnot and i personally dislike the way the relationship is built in several places in it as opposed to how the adaptations do it, but it's definitely still worth reading. (dm me on discord if you want a copy of a pretty good fan translation of the novel and also like, a link to a place you can watch the donghua, btw.) other problems with cql: censorship hits the live action the hardest and their budget was i'm pretty sure basically nonexistent (they very clearly spent most of it on the costumes and the props, which you know what, the costumes are fucking stunning so great choice). so they changed the worldbuilding some and like.... the fight scenes? are really not good. they're really not good. also the special effects are universally pretty bad. it can make watching some parts of it difficult to get through, and there are some plot elements that are changed as well that i dislike, and a lot of the moral greyness of the original story had to get removed because again, censorship issues (if you want the most accurate, non-morally-whitewashed take first, you'll want to start with the novel, which is also what has the explicitly gay stuff). it's also not explicitly gay - but the actors played it as gay and there are multiple marriage metaphors and holy fuck like. honestly. there doesn't need to be a kiss or a confession or anything it's REALLY FUCKING GAY.

what cql excels in is its character interactions. the acting is absolutely stunning, the soundtrack is beautiful, and every single scene is just done with so much heart and emotion in it. so definitely keep that in mind going into it. i've watched it all the way through i think 3 or 4 times and i still keep seeing new fun details in the background that i hadn't noticed before.

the donghua, on the other hand, has an absolutely stunning art style, very very good voice acting, the worldbuilding and plot are more accurate to the book, and the magic and combat scenes are much more realistic for a fantasy and the powers they have. however, it, especially specifically the third and final season, is very rushed (and it has its own plot changes to fit how much they had to condense things, mostly just in the second half of season 3) and excludes some details, so it can be confusing if you don't know what you're seeing first. i recommend either watching cql or reading the novel first, then watching the donghua!

in terms of like, actual fandom stuff! so the main character of mdzs is, obviously, Wei Wuxian. i'm not sure how much you know but he's like. an incredibly ADHD man with horrible self-worth issues (despite being arrogant as hell) and a very strong sense of justice who is extremely brilliant and goes through a shitton of tragedy. he is known for inventing a viable form of necromancy, which is considered incredibly heretical and, among other things, gets him killed, and then gets him resurrected, so you know. pros and cons. he does magic by playing the flute. he is a disaster bisexual and also a bit of an alcoholic (okay a lot of an alcoholic) and i love him. his love interest is stoic and serious and incredibly autistic-coded and has been in love with him since they were teenagers and literally wrote him a love song. the two of them get trapped in a cave together and have to kill an ancient corrupted divine monster without weapons. it's very romantic. wei wuxian as a younger teenager is basically the epitome of a child pulling a girl's pigtails because he has a crush and is desperate for attention.

anyway, i'm not sure how much you know about the plot, but there's two timelines going on - the present and the past. the present is after wei wuxian is resurrected, and he and lan wangji (the love interest, in case you haven't picked up on the names yet - everyone has like two or three names and it can be hard to tell them apart at first) are basically going on a fun little murder mystery quest while also babysitting a bunch of teenagers which then abruptly devolves into politics, murder, more politics, and more murder. the past on the other hand goes from a high school definitely-not-a-romance to a goddamn war drama to politics and back to. hm. not exactly a war drama anymore but i'm really not sure how to describe everything that happens after a certain event. it's all very much a tragedy and the real "villain" of the story (which is less obvious in cql, again because of moral whitewashing due to censorship, though honestly i feel like they did a pretty good job of staying as true to the source material as they could all things considered, a whole lot of the scenes were word for word from the novel just slightly edited to fit the adjusted worldbuilding or plot changes) is the mob mentality, rumors and gossip and hearsay, and society itself!

lastly, because i am trying not to overwhelm you here, i am going to link you a couple great amvs i've found on youtube that will probably not make a lot of sense without context but will at least hopefully intrigue you?

youtube

and

youtube

and

youtube

the other one i really want to link i cannot because it definitely will make absolutely no sense without having watched the show and so you have to come talk to me when you've finished it so i can give it to you. also hey please feel free to come dm me on discord i Will ramble at length about this. especially about wwx he is my BLORBO and currently taking up residence in my brain. and also i need your live reactions if/when you start watching things oh my god

be glad it's almost 2 am and i'm still recovering from my covid booster or this would be even longer

#asked and answered #long post #i am not apologizing actually #mdzs #i want to yell more but i don't want to spoil things and i also don't want to sound totally deranged #i mean i am deranged but like. plausible deniability here #anyway he plays a FLUTE ginger. to do NECROMANCY. in the live action they didn't do this but #in the donghua you get to see his eyes go red when he does it and it is WONDERFUL #also he goes through so much trauma and there's like. a whole entire war which he wins basically singlehandedly #because of the necromancy. while having a prolonged fight with his not-boyfriend who he had a not-breakup with after he came back from #a three month disappearance (in which he did some Marinating in Spooky Hell Energy) after which he reappeared with a glowup #and a murder flute that he raised the dead with. so like honestly it's not unreasonable that lwj was concerned #wwx is just incapable of handling things normally. like ever. also has no emotional intelligence when it's other people's feelings for him #ANYWAY this man has like all of my mental illnesses but Worse i'm so attached to him <3 #wow i completely failed in not sounding insane huh

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www-artforoddballs · 3 years

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OK holy shit I forgot to post again yesterday

It is 1:16 AM and I have a school meeting later today that I might sleep through due to me generally only being able to sleep during the FUCKING DAYTIME

But oh well I said I'd post and so I shall post

Autistic! Levi stimming

And some stuff about my personal experience since it's how I best relate to people and situations

Okay so I know I made a post about stim toys

But this is the best I've got at now 1:18 AM so bear with me

So a lot of people do things with their hands or arms. I personally don't do that, but I could see Leviathan doing that.

Does anyone else have a negative stim? Like when there's something you really just DO NOT like? Because whenever that happens I need to move my toes/curl them up. I don't know why, it's always been like that.

I also used to get so frustrated and angry with myself that I'd hit myself in the head while crying. Not a joke. I'd consider it a stimming thing but thankfully I grew out of it. However I can see Leviathan doing something self-destructive as a stim and his brothers learning about this and then having people near him if he gets too overwhelmed just to make sure he doesn't hurt himself or slip into a panic attack.

There are different types of stims, this I know. I'm gonna be perfectly honest; I've never met another autistic person in my life, and I haven't looked into it a lot, so I can really only speak on my own experiences. However I do know that there are happy stims, so I can only assume there are negative ones as well. There are for me, at least. Lol. And Levi, in my headcannon.

One way this man stims is by swimming or just generally being near water. It's a reason why he has that huge fish tank in his room.

I feel like he'd play with his tail to stim as well. Like feeling the scales and such, or maybe even hugging it when he's in his demon form and really happy (which is an adorable mental image)

Would play with his fingers as a stim, and bounce his legs. This is stuff I do, so idk how common it is, but I can see him doing it as well.

This isn't really a stim thing (unless it is and I'm dumb) but I do imagine him having some sort of comfort item. I personally have one; a multicolored stuffed dog that I've had since I was born. I can't sleep without the thing, and holding it helps me calm down.

Of course using stim toys is part of this, because...look at what they're called lol

I feel like certain songs would help him stim as well. I don't really get this one either, but I know it helps some people, and it's probably the TSL theme songs for him, or the theme song for the show Ruri-Chan is in.

I know some people don't like music because it stims them in a negative way, but for me it's neutral. I like music, but it doesn't make me overly happy or overly sad.

Once again, not really a stim thing, but if he got a service dog or an ESA, I feel like holding them or petting them would be very comforting to him. I have an ESA in my life, my grumpy ol dog. He's a good boy and looks like a puppy still despite being 11 years old...pictures included because I want people to appreciate him just as much as I do.

OK so that's all I have at now 1:30 AM

Sorry

But I wanted to get something out, at least.

And here he is

The good boi

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heleizition · 4 years

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I demand for fic recs from you!!!!!!! *excited screaming*

im guessing we’re going for dc fics here bc thats the only fandom ive posted for in a while sefojfseosjef sorry haikyuu u_u

ive been inhaling a few 1000k+ words of dc fics over the past three months so have this whole list because i couldn’t just choose some i had to give all of them

many of these were in the most bookmarked fics of the tags i was looking up so u might have already read them......

Damian Wayne sneezes like a kitten

Gen, 3k, exactly what the title says, adorable, damian and tim shenanigans

Liminal Spaces

Serie, Mature, 195k, TW for violence, depression, tim really isnt doing so well, reference to attempted assault in the second big fic Compression.

Bruce from the Young Justice cartoon rescue Tim from comics (but like worse) from letting him just, slowly kill himself with work and Depression, except the situation is worse than that and tim needs a hug.

Oh Brother

T, 10k, reference to the all for the game/the foxhole court books, but can totally be understood without any knowledge of them (idk shit about them). jay goes to college far away from gotham and his family just drops in and hes Annoyed.

Tim Drake is the saddest person I’ve ever met

Gen, 5k7, heavy references to depression. Damian gains some empathic powers for a little while and learns that Tim is really not doing so fine.

Aemulatio

Gen, 4k, Duke and some moments with the members of his new family !!!!

Repeat your favorite mistakes and love them all again

Bruce/Clark, T, 160k, the kids get deaged and Bruce has to deal with them but Clark ends up helping. Dads.

hold him close.

Gen, 4k, ABO AU, Bruce gets hit with cuddle pollen and his victim is tim.

I’m alone here, I think

Tim/Kon, T, 93k, Witch AU, stuff happens and Tim ends up forgotten by his loved ones on a greek island, and then one day Kon shows up, even tho he doesn’t remember Tim. (honestly its a hard fic to explain without revealing that much but MAN its amazing)

Don’t touch me

T, 13k, Tim gets hit with a pollen that gives him unbearable pain when he doesnt have a skin to skin contact with another person, which causes problems when he’s never been fond of it to beging with

Love Song

Gen, 2k8, Tim is determined to make Damian call him a big brother, but Damian is stubborn.

The Antonym of Philtre

M, 3k, attempted assault. Dick gets roofied at a gala.

Watch this

Gen, 2k4, Hal and Barry are worried about Batman’s new partner.

Leap, Fall, Fly

Tim/Kon, E, 12k3, Tim and Kon figure some stuff out.

Two Bird, One Stone(d)

Gen, 5k8, mentions of depression and suicidal thoughts.Tim ends up stoned after a drug bust, and Dick and Bruce take care of him.

Bat Naps

T, 6k8, all of the batkids have learned to take naps in their own personal different way.

The Vulnerable

T, 3k2, attempted assault. Everyone is out of town so Jason is in charge of looking out for Tim.

Conner Kent VS the menstrual hygiene aisle

T, 1k, Trans Tim asks Conner to get him tampons because thats what bros do.

Juneberries

T, 68k, Tim gets kidnapped while helping Damian escape, mind break follows.

When you’re in pieces (and still falling apart)

Serie, M, 9k, mentions of assault and sex work. Dick disappear from Gotham and Bruce’s life after he gets kicked out.

free (as a bird)

T, 11k8, mentions of child abuse. Autistic Tim growing up as Robin.

On my chest, on my heart

T, 20k3, Tim/Kon, no capes or powers AU, high school AU where seniors get assigned a pen pal.

Mind you head, i’ve lost my mind

M, 9k6, Tim helps Conner deal with his anxiety.

Implications

T, 19k, Tim/Bart. Bart has a Tim related revelation. Teen angst follows.

Boys of Summers

T, 5k4, Tim/Kon, side Kon/Cassie. No capes/powers AU. Tim gets sent to summer camp and meets Conner.

The Stand-In

M, 2k3. Depression. Sometimes Tim feels like Tim Drake is just a stand in for Robin.

“no” and other four letter words

M, 24k, past abuse disussions, coping with trauma. In which Dick Grayson learns about consent.

(this last fic is actually the one my friend made me read and that got me really invested . .. these are my KIDS your honor)

ayyyy here we are i could have added much more but its half past midnight and i work tmrw .... hope i at least made you discover some fics!!!!

#fic #see how i just gave up giving slightly better summaries #IM TIRED #ive read sooo many nice fics these past few months tho im :( !!!!!!!!!!!#ask me #Anonymous #long post #I meant to hide some of this but tumvlr hates my guts

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thesaltyace · 3 years

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big rant/ramble below, you can safely ignore and move on to the next post in your feed.

Urgh

I shared the results of that autism screener with a quasi-friend who I thought would be "safe" (we used to work together and we connected over his being gay and me being visibly queer) but his response was blergh

Everyone has hints of autism.

okay yeah but this isn't just *hints* of autism. I'm answered yes to symptoms I've had since I was a kid that I've learned to mask or work around as an adult. But I still struggle with them.

He pointed out that he sees me as more ADHD than ASD.

Yeah, fair, and I'd need to see a professional to try to distinguish if my symptoms are ADHD, ASD, or both.

You don't hit the three prongs needed for a diagnosis.

But.... but I do. And the stuff I dealt with as a kid is still stuff I deal with today. I just mask it better. A short and not exhaustive list:

As I kid I had trouble interacting with peers. I didn't have friends, really. I didn't know how to make friends and I didn't try terribly hard to. I acquire friends when someone else "adopts" me and decides that we are friends. And once I became an adult, I have almost never had friends of my own - I share a friend group with my spouse who we're primary connected to through him. I'm okay with that. Maintaining a friendship entirely on my own power sounds impossible and exhausting.

I was okay with not having friends, I liked being alone, but my mom insisted on me being social. She made me join things so that I would have a list of people to invite to parties. I'd honestly have preferred a day of doing stuff I like or just a couple friends. As an adult, I want to be alone on my birthday. I will celebrate with certain friends, separately, usually over a quiet meal. That's it.

I had trouble understanding sarcasm and figurative speech. Like, I understand it now but I still think most figurative speech is annoying. I've been told the way I deliver sarcasm is weird, too.

I liked memorizing movies and quoting them start to finish, I thought it was fun but everyone else thought it was weird. I continued to do this into adulthood but I only quote aloud when I'm alone. Alamo Drafthouse quote-alongs are the BEST. I don't do this with every movie, either, just ones I really like.

Okay actually I also liked to listen to the same album or, in some cases, the same song over and over until I was sick of it (and sometimes even after that point). I mean, just endlessly looping on repeat. Not interspersed with other songs. I do this as an adult a LOT because it's easier with headphones to do this without annoying everyone else around you. Like, often it's fine for me to just put a playlist on shuffle, but I get into Moods where I just want the one album/song over and over. Yesterday I listened to Wellerman about 50 times in a row and only stopped because I had to get up and do something else and that song wasn't "good" for whatever I got up to do.

My special interest as a kid was cats. Literally everything cats, all the time - I sought out obscure facts and could tell you the difference between similar species, and wanted cats involved in literally everything I did. Adults laughed it off as childhood obsession. I was also pretty obsessed with the solar system. I thought asking my peers, as a trivia question, which of Jupiter's moons had its own asteroid (Io, in case you were wondering) was appropriate and interesting and was confused that they didn't know that. That was in fifth grade.

I watched the weather channel for fun. I would watch it for hours and absorb the weekly forecast info just... for fun? I never used it, could never tell you if you should dress a certain way or bring an umbrella or whatever. Everyone thought it was weird.

I was a know-it-all and literally could not stop myself from bluntly correcting people who were wrong. Didn't know or care that it was "rude". I'm still that way but I've learned how to sometimes swallow the urge long enough to find a more tactful way to point it out (but often fail).

I could read on my own before kindergarten, used vocabulary beyond what one would expect for my age, and had a special interest in spelling and grammar throughout my school years. I did not understand how other people weren't interested in learning about it and getting it right. I read at an undergrad level by 4th grade.

I hated loud noises and often covered my ears to block out irritating sounds. I could also hear high pitched noises that even other kids didn't seem to hear (or at least weren't bothered by them). Too much noise sent me into an internal meltdown, I'd just kinda shut down because I couldn't deal with it.

Textures and pressure on my skin bothered the absolute fuck out of me - sock seams, certain fabric materials, socks that weren't equally elastic, one shoe tighter than the other, tags.... all of that. (Also, fun anecdote I just unlocked - when I was 4 or 5 my grandmother started letting me use the soft silk sleep shirt she had as a young woman because I preferred it to anything else. Soft, smooth, no irritating qualities. Bliss. I wanted to wear it all the time.)

Don't get me started on food. Until I was in COLLEGE I mostly subsisted on pasta with either butter or alfredo sauce and chicken. I would eat other things, but pasta and/or chicken was (and still is) my biggest safe/comfort food. I'd eat other stuff mostly if I could control the balance of ingredients, get it made plain, or could confirm the texture wouldn't be offensive (so, like... plain burgers, plain cheese pizza, grilled cheese, mashed potatoes, etc.) I cannot stress this enough - from childhood through COLLEGE I did this. As a kid my mom had to make me a completely separate dish most nights to get me to eat something. My spouse was horrified at what little variety I ate. The only reason I eat so much variety now is that he knows what I do/don't like and tells me in advance if I'll find a texture or taste offensive. Of course, rather than wanting consistent texture like I did when I was younger, I now seek as much texture as possible (so long as they aren't Bad textures) so.... that's fun. But yeah most of my objections to Yucky foods is due to T E X T U R E. Even if I like the taste, the texture overrides it all.

I prefer animals to people. I will seek out animals and interact with them instead of people in the same room. And will pointedly focus on the animal to avoid interacting with people.

I'm perfectly happy with only myself for company. Being with just my spouse counts as me being "alone" though. Always has. I just realized last night that it's because I do minimal to no masking around him because he's a safe person to unmask with and always has been. Never batted an eye at the weird shit I do beyond asking questions about what I was doing or why. And then just "Okay."

Okay honestly just the fact that I want to vent into the void of tumblr instead of actually discussing this with a person - even my spouse! - pretty effectively shows how little it occurs to me to interact with other people directly. o_0

And there are so many more things that I won't list here because I could just go on and on. And like, sure, some of this may certainly overlap with ADHD but my point is that I have enough to point to ASD that it doesn't feel like having a "hint" of autism. And who knows - maybe it is mostly just ADHD and CPTSD stuff interacting in weird ways. Could be!

But just because I can make small talk and make eye contact and do the "normal" shit and I can interact "normally" doesn't mean I LIKE it. I had to LEARN to do those things to avoid having bad social interactions. When I'm by myself or with my spouse, I behave very differently than I do around anyone else. ANYONE. It's not just slightly changing my behavior depending on who I'm with - it's completely suppressing how I naturally would do things if left to my own devices.

Like, the things we recommended to our autistic students who wanted to know how to interact in ways that would help them blend in/be accepted by others ARE THE EXACT THINGS I ALREADY DO. Like, it did not occur to me at the time that neurotypicals literally do not have to think about doing those things. I thought, ah, these students just need to be told what the tricks are. Other people figure these tricks out on their own. It did not occur to me that other people, in fact, do not learn these tricks because they naturally do that behavior. They do not have to actively think about learning the trick, period. I literally thought other people also have to think as hard as I do about interactions. Evidently not.

So yeah, I'm feeling a little upset about the reaction I got from him because I'm like.... honestly, a diagnosis of ASD wouldn't change a lot about how I do things or think of things. But it would make me feel better about interacting with and participating in autism-related stuff if I am actually autistic. I realize I can use the resources and supports meant for ASD regardless, and for formal supports anything I can access due to my ADHD diagnosis likely covers anything I'd need for ASD. But having a diagnosis opens up more community. Right now I'm like yeah I'm ADHD but I totally relate to this ASD content. But I'm not going to interact much because I feel like I don't have the right to join in since idk if I do have ASD.

idk I have a lot of feelings. I had a bad email about the trans insurance coverage thing yesterday and I'm not in a great headspace, but finding out me and my spouse both scored very high on the autism screening stuff was honestly a high point because we ended up sharing a lot of how we view and interact with the world that was very eye-opening about why we interact the way we do, how we relate to others (and how other people think we're weird for how we relate to others), and just...everything. And having someone be skeptical after I've spent a lot of time trying to convince myself that I DON'T have ASD only to conclude that at the very least, I should probably be evaluated because I can't reasonably rule it out. Like, most people do not wonder if they have autism. The fact that I am spending this much time looking into it and trying to find examples to disprove it only to find I overwhelmingly can't in virtually every single diagnostic category.... just..... dismissing it outright is kinda hurtful.

Like, I recognize that ADHD symptoms overlap a fair bit, but seriously. My spouse (who definitively does not have ADHD) scored almost identically to me and we vibed on almost everything when we compared answers. We see most things similarly. We have similar areas of confusion about other people and for fundamentally similar reasons. I can't imagine all of the stuff that points to ASD for me is just ADHD in disguise, not when I vibe THAT HARD with someone else. Spouse does not vibe with me on ADHD content. At all. He can appreciate it since he does live with me, after all, and observes whatever's being discussed. But he doesn't vibe with it. He vibes with autism content, though. And I vibe with both.

idk this rant ended in rambling and I'm just going to go listen to Inside on repeat for a couple hours while I try to calm down a bit. o_0

#rant over #for now #I've actually been listening to Inside for the last twenty minutes already lol #maybe I'll try to nap #idk #blergh #yay Shit is playing now and I'm like LOL cause I did wake up at 11:30 feeling like shit #woot #what a bop #I'm like hell yeah you get it #let's vibe

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dcjelliclequeen33 · 4 years

Text

So last night @queencurlycrown sent me a post that had gifs of Misto from a stage production (idk which one because I am a noob and have only seen the 1998 film and the 2019 movie) getting really happy and basically fluffing the white fur of his chest and it got us thinking, Misto has a lot of little movements like that! He fluffs his fur, scratches/messes with his ear (good examples are during Jellicle Song after Jenny hits the high note and at the beginning of Gumby Cat when he gets a little embarassed for expecting a different song) and some of his little wiggle like movements during Tugger’s song. So with this information we have formed the HC that Misto is on the autistic/neruodivergent scale and thus he stims a lot! Being ADHD and probably a little on the autistic scale myself (I’ve never been tested for autism but I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was in first grade and display some signs similar to high functioning autism) I fully understand the stimming and now I will die with this HC.

Please note: This is my personal headcanon. If you have different headcanons that’s perfectly valid!

#cats the musical #mistoffelees #cats 1998 #i hc it now

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cloneslugs · 5 years

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oh fuck u sent me multiple so demo/engie/medic/scout and also u can do the one i already sent

ty i love you

Demo

favorite thing about them

he’s super fun!!! but also really smart and caring and just an all around cool dude he’s like B) !

least favorite thing about them

this isnt about him personally lol but like official stuff(comics) lighten the fuck out of his skin and its like. dont

favorite line

i didnt even see this question when i first did this wtf but uh all his “i love you” esque lines are really excellent

brOTP

exclusing soldier lol!!! probably sniper or engie!!

OTP

soldier :’)

nOTP

besides scout & pyro & just like. looking at just the mercs no one really demo deserves love

random headcanon

he likes turtles a lot & just reptiles/amphibians in general just in a kinda neat/favorite animal type way nothing special, he gets around with engie and sniper and they all get drunk and they talk about cryptids, he has a super big heart he loves love, outside of the battlefield he’s pretty apprehensive and cautious moreso than lots of the others at least, he doesnt push himself to be it often just bc he doesnt like leaderly positions but he defo has one of the more valid voices of reason amongst all of them, he loves to help and just listen to people he’s always ready to offer you a drink and take a load off and just talk things out & he’s super chill and easy to talk to anyway, he comes off as really lazy but he can jump up and make do when he needs to

unpopular opinion

idk whats considered popular or not on here lol but like!! he’s not just stupid silly drunk man he’s actually got heart and is pretty intelligent & like probably one of the better off mercs if he wanted himself to be

song i associate with them (this is literally the worst question im so bad at this if i dont have lots n lots of searching time and also i forget all music ever)

cheap thrills - sia

favorite picture of them (sorry 4 bg edits im doing what i have on hand lol)

hes so fucking happy i love you!!!

Engie

favorite thing about them

he’s my fucking husband he makes my heart fucking soar!!! he’s a quiet little sweetheart and he’s just really smart and nice and has morals iusdahui

least favorite thing about them

fucking nothing you animals

favorite line

all his fucking nerdy engineering lines are so fucking good ;____; he’s so smart and passionate god“i love engines! pinion shafts! flanges. mitigating shock loads. but most of all: i love winnin’!” “they won’t know what hit ‘em! though it’ll likely to be bullets. statistically speaking” theres more but im like ;___; just thinking about him ah

brOTP

medic babey!!!!!! i have a thing for shitty best friends that tire each other out (especially on one side) but love each other at the end of the day and are just ride or diepyro also but for completely different reasons :-)

OTP

spy is fucking excellent -.- dont @ me

nOTP

soldier lol (excluding pyro & scout)

random headcanon

i think all the mercs are autsitic but engie is one of my fucking fav ahhhhh, he and medic info dump for hours especially where their special interests overlap and it gets really boring if youre not one of them lol, he loves learning but he hated school so much ):, he has pretty bad anxiety but only under certain circumstance, he’s kinda jealous that spy gets to automatically be seen as a paternal figure bc of scout and he kinda wishes he could settle in like that but he also doesnt think he’d be very good at it for a very prolonged amount of time, he loves math!!!! he loves numbers a lot he associates it with lots of fun and colors and just !!!!! wow wow!!, he has really really really high empathy when it comes to machines and stuff, he loves dogs especially smaller ones, he really loves to fidget w/ tools and stuff bc he always has one on hand and theres lots you can do with some of them, he’s really lazy and has a hard time applying himself sometimes

unpopular opinion

the comics really brush him aside i need to see him more please for the love of god he’s just as interesting as anyone else also fat engie is the only valid engie & also soldier/engie is fucking forced and weird idk where it comes from except they wear hats lol & also people call engie short but if you dont make him 5′00 give or take 3 inches youre doing it wrong and i cant stand by it

song i associate with them

this is like. also a soldier song for me lol but Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect - the decemberists

favorite picture of them

ms pauling and medic!! his buddies :) also i just love the shadowboxers art

his fly costume makes me so ;___; i love you little man

also i hate to default to beard engie but this is literally the sexiest man alive

Medic

favorite thing about them

i have a thing for shitty men with halfway decent hearts but are trying(sometimes) okay like okay he’s so chaotic and bad but ;___; i love you

least favorite thing about them

this mostly applies to his Meet the vid but he comes off as really apathetic and cruel? i think in everything else he comes off as a bit nicer if not absentminded and not too socially aware which is :)

favorite line

bro when he warns heavy about that gun in the comix? gay rights U__U also the like “you can take the brain out of the criminal and put it in a pumpkin, but you cant take the criminal out of the brain in the pumpkin” or whatever shit sir i love you

brOTP

engie baby!!!! i also really like spy & sniper bc im weak for shitty support relationships i think med just works really good w/ everyone really in some way

OTP

heavy baby!!!

nOTP

all of the mercs are fine (excluding the usual lol) but like cHeavymed people are freaks die

random headcanon

he has really poor eating & sleeping habits he almost relies on everyone else to keep him alive, he’s autistic & he’s jewish but not really practicing, he pulls & tugs on things when he’s stressed, he’s actually really smart medically he just doesn’t like showing it/messing w/ people (it makes some of the smarter mercs nervous lol), when he gets bored & has nothing to play with he digs for drama he loves to start unnecessary arguments that have no value whatssoever, he’s scared of dogs, he only trusts sniper & maybe heavy to handle his birds if he were to die, heavy & archimedes are like mega comfort objects(?) for him !!, he’s kinda really bad at showing he likes/cares for people, this goes especially hard on engie ):, he has a really big sweet tooth, he cant cook, he doesnt ever censor himself and can be pretty rude, he’s an open book and has no sense of integrity, he got super attached to heavy right off the bat for seemingly no reason and it was just super awkward lol, he gets distracted really easily and drops projects too often when he gets bored/forgets, his room is a mess he doesnt know how to do chores, he’s trans and hasnt done anything to medically transition but he handles everyone on team who is

unpopular opinion

he’s not a fucking sociopath lol like he has a heart and cares he just has a hard time differentiating right from wrong and doesnt think things out i love you

song i associate with them

this is my emo music time i keep changing this but im gonna go It Was A Swift Not A Swallow - Crywank

favorite picture of them

i cant pick between these two he’s saving his fucking boyfriends life & also the 2nd he just looks so peaceful and :)

Scout

favorite thing about them

he’s a sweet boy!!! he just wants friends and he’s stuck with a bunch of middle aged men we have to love his endurance also he’s a little baby faced menace i love you

least favorite thing about them

in the canon i ignore lol.. too straight we cant have that

favorite line

all his lines talking about how the group of them are all best friends and stuff??? i love that

brOTP

sniper !!!! also spy also everyone

OTP

no one really lol pyro is like. the only one im comfy w/

nOTP

sniper lol if we’re talking popular things & all the rest of the mercs really

random headcanon

he’s a super sweet boy who loves everyone on the team, he warmed up the fastest out of all of them and became super attached!!, he really wants a base dog, he really likes to spend time with everyone and listen to them talk like he loves sitting with engie and having him explain nerdy engineering nonsense that he’ll never get but he tries to but its just fun seeing how excited the other person is!!!, he became super close to sniper right off the bat for some reason which is weird bc scout can talk forever and sniper doesn’t know how to hold a conversation for more than 5 minutes but they like hanging out even if it gets tiring, he lives off of sugary drinks medic keeps telling him to stop, he loves to hang out w/ spy and they get on each others nerves but really enjoy it at the end of the day, he has little to no sense of boundaries, he loves to give hugs!!, he really tries to engage with everyone’s interests like i said he just loves making/seeing other people happy, he loves being part of big groups it always just feels like a big family to him

unpopular opinion

he gay :)

song i associate with them

the calculation - regina spektor

favorite picture of them

trans rights!!!

Soldier

favorite thing about them

he is a sweetheart he is my big stupid husband and we both love raccoons =.=

least favorite thing about them

the patriotism…… we arent having that

favorite line

he’s literally so fucking funny especially all his things w/ merasmus and just. everything

brOTP

excluding demo uh !!! SPY!!!! :D

OTP

demo :)

nOTP

engie x.x

random headcanon

he’s super sweet !!! he loves his friends so much, he loves to show off his raccoons to everyone :), he bonds w/ sniper over wildlife(raccoons), everyone has a lot of patience w/ him bc he struggles to communicate things a lot and kinda needs his time to get points across, he’s actually really observant and it would be really good if he just didnt jump to wild conclusions based off of it all the time, he’s really conscious of his actions and how they affect others like he’s kinda violent impulsively but hes taken note of who is and isnt okay with it or who’s okay w/ him saying what in front of them, he’s really protective of his friends!!! he knows theyre capable but he loves looking out for them, he loves to drag them off on fitness expeditions/training but he tires out before a good number of them/gets bored, he wakes up the earlies he loves the mornings, he can cook but nobody knows it, like scout he loves to indulge in what other people like but he’s more handson he loves to screw in screws for engie or hand medic tools or read out loud to spy or heavy or show sniper things he catches/turn over rocks with him, he loves medics birds but doc wont let him touch them ):, he wants to get a base dog too, he has no volume or tone control, probably the best hugger, he’s kinda shy about personal things like himself in general or being trans & liking guys he’s actually pretty decent at keeping personal things to himself not that he wouldnt share it just feels weird,

unpopular opinion

he’s not just like shouty mean stupid man,,, he’s actually really sweet

song i associate with them

rejoice- AJJ

favorite picture of them

i have worse naked honey pics but this is fucking it lads gay rights

#im like. digging thru my tee eff 2 playlist on spotify this is hell #asks #tf text #sorry this is long lol i feel like im leaving out so much #also shout out to cecil youre the only valid person out here #triplecrossed #if i missed anything kick me #these make me so happy to do i love talking and talking and talking about my interests

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