#BUT STILL IT'S SUCH A HARD CHOICE.

[allysketches]

gets in charge of the bookshop for 1 (one) day: shows up in a cardigan vest and metal sleeve garters, keeps the shop CLOSED, avoids selling a single book... iconic, truly did THE MOST, 10/10 😩👌🏻

(also, the way he was this 🤏🏻 close to finally achieving the status of house husband he's been dreaming about for MILLENIA just to have the rug pulled out from under him last minute... truly DEVASTATING 😩 my girl really can't catch a break 🤧)

#good omens #good omens fanart #crowley #anthony j crowley #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #neil gaiman #do you have any idea how hard it was to distinguish wtf he was wearing exactly #when this walking disaster idea of fashion is black on black on black on black??!?!!? #i had to up the lightness to the max #and i'm still not 100% on the details tbh #but oh well #I'm sure I made better choices than he did

[atlas-and-the-time]

The greater grief

#my art #art #digital art #illustration #aot #snk #eruri #attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin #levi #erwin smith #erwin x levi #the amount of time i spent on this deeply regretting my life choices #you’ll never catch me doing backgrounds again #not that this is THAT complex but i suffer severe ptsd from my set design exam the nightstand was a nightmare #anyway the title is from tsoa because why not #and perhaps it is the greater grief after all to be left on earth when another is gone #the post midnight sun depression still hits hard

[blue-mood-blue]

I can pinpoint the moment that destroyed my life today:

It’s been a handful of weeks since Murderbot came within inches of having a new, organic governor module implanted in its head via infection - do you think, maybe, that’s also been hiding behind the redacted? Not the way everything else is, just as a deep-seated reminder of what it can’t afford to lose?

What a way to be told “I love you” - to be told “I will not lose you, I will not let go, I will do the hard part of holding on even if you don’t want me to”

#the murderbot diaries #murderbot #murderbot spoilers #perihelion #I am not normal about this and I will continue to be not normal about this #I have feelings about how important they are to each other #how their relationship doesn’t fit into neat boxes and is still undeniable #I don’t think art loves quite like humans love but it DOES love and will all of that power behind it #that love is an overwhelming thing I think #not romantic but INTENSE the way it just… IS intense by nature #and like… I got to the part where mb was thinking about just walking away in the other direction like #’oh this is BAD bad’ #and this moment just……. #something about ‘you can’t go because I won’t let you’ #’I will make the hard choice for you even if you don’t like what I choose’ #not even in a possessive way just. just that mb is not ALLOWED to not exist #and I’ve got a lot of goddamn feelings about it #mb is a little bit in pieces and art is gonna forcibly hold those pieces together until it starts to heal #(but also. goddamn don’t even get me started on art having to hear that because. HHHHHH)

[citroncynique]

bad dreams in the night

#limbus company #canto 6 #lcb catherine #lcb heathcliff #lcb heathcathy #heathcathy #I'll be 100 with you guys I'm still kombuchagirl.gif about a LOT of the uh. narrative choices PM took. #especially cathy. oh we were robbed. it's not like PM isn't capable of writing perfectly horrible women. it's an art they're good at #which is why lcb cathy was so... surprising to me #UUUUH LITERATURE DWEEB WHINING ASIDE EVERY CATHY/ERLKÖNIG HEATHCLIFF ABSOLUTELY HAVE MY SOUL #be doomed and forlorn together....... #also tee hee i swapped out cathy's dress for the dress kate bush wears in the wuthering heights mv #iconic kate bush remains iconic #OH AND AND AND this goes without saying but this is referencing la belle dame sans merci by sir franck dicksee #and since this art piece isn't exactly an uncommon redraw i have used multiple fanart redraws as reference #but the one that helped me the most was a redraw by kalisami whose work is absolutely stellar #horses are..... hard to draw. even without their heads.

[twinstxrs]

the gorgug-porter conversation is interesting to me because like. yea for the overwhelming majority of the conversation porter’s being shitty & trying to fit gorgug into a box that gorgug just does not fit into by trying to make gorgug’s relationship with his rage more focused on the aggression aspect of it. but then there’s also this specific thing that brennan brought up again in the ap, which is that gorgug’s relationship with his rage is wholly “this is a tool i use to protect my friends.” which isn’t a bad thing! but that’s his Whole relationship with it, & gorgug seems to place next to no value on his rage in relationship to himself. which is problematic, because it’s first & foremost his rage.

being raised in a household with a sort of toxic positivity largely meant that, whether or not it was his parents’ intention, gorgug internalized the message that more traditionally “negative” emotions such as anger are the wrong response to something. part of the reason he prioritizes his artificing is probably because it’s “fixing” things. in comparison to being a barbarian, which gorgug associates with “breaking” things. good vs. bad behavior, in his eyes.

it’s a totally unacceptable bar to measure a 16 y/o by, but i do think part of porter’s reasoning for not letting gorgug multiclass is him recognizing that gorgug generally does not value anger as a valid emotional response to something, at the very least for himself. & that directly conflicts with what being a barbarian is, because whether you like it or not, that rage is what fuels you. but again, barring a kid from pursuing something they deeply care about in part (not entirely, porter has a lot of more bullshit reasons) because of their fundamental values & world outlook is crazy.

so yes, 98% of porter’s reasoning is pretty shitty, immature, rife with a toxic view that there’s only one proper way to access rage, & generally not a good thing to do as a teacher, but also within that reasoning is the 2% of ‘there is a fundamental part of yourself that you only value if you can use it to take care of other people & you need to accept that as something that can take care of you, too.’ but that’s something to discuss with a therapist or a guidance counselor, not something that should hugely impact gorgug’s academic future.

#gorgug thistlespring #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #btw these r just my personal opinions u r 100% free to disagree #gorgug & his rage interest me so deeply because of how deeply that rage existing seems to be against gorgug’s own will #like mechanically classes are choices & you can switch stuff around any time. but gorgug as a barbarian always felt like an unwilling choice #like that 14 y/o kid did not want to have rage. & that really interests me. #i’ve seen people before be like ‘what if gorgug dropped barbarian & went full srtificer’ but i feel like that simply can’t happen?? #mechanically yea sure but it always felt like a core part of gorgug that the rage will always be there & it’s a matter of how you channel it #idk. dnd classes narratively being treated as ‘you can not lose this part of you’ even though you technically can #gorgug could be lvl 19 artificer & he’d still have 1 level of barbarian. because that is part of who he is. #btw i don’t think porter truly cares about gorgug valuing his rage only as a way to be a human shield #i think porter just sees that as ‘wrong’ but like. not as in ‘you need to take care of yourself’ & more ‘you aren’t conforming’ #he thinks it’s wrong for the wrong reasons. the nastier ‘this is how you should be’ reasons #ppl being like ‘we r being too hard on porter. it’s an 150% courseload gorgug will be overwhelmed’ i think r missing the point bc like. #that is 100% a valid reason to not approve gorgug for multiclassing! but that’s also 100% not the reason porter rejected him. #that whole interaction was basically porter shoving his percieved version of conformity down gorgug’s throat. was v neurodivergent kid coded #no hate to anyone saying that last point btw these r all just opinions #thinking about last ep wilma & digby being like ‘you’re a great barbarian. you’re so great at it. but look at what you made!!!’ like. #they would never mean it like that. but when you only understand half of your son he is going to prioritize the half you do.

[habeascorpseus]

"just dont lose yourself, okay?"

"i cant. i've tried to."

"Don't forget to enjoy this, today. Cuz if you lose yourself in trying to hurt the people who took it, you might....just don't forget the good stuff, okay?"

"i cant. i've tried."

godddd cellbits recurring motif of "i cant. ive tried." whenever someone tells him not to lose himself, both the bad and the good is so.. the implication of a perpetual fruitless spiral of turning man to monster and monster to man, and failing at both because loves too deeply and instinct is ingrained into him deeper than the carvings in his knife. he cant fucking stand himself. he can't stand how he can't be normal and has to rely on drinking copius amounts of coffee to stay awake enough to not lose it. he can't stand how even in the depths of his desire for vengeance, he hears the pain in his loved ones' voices and still stops to listen. these two parts of him have to be incongruous, because he knows he was happier when he was one without the other. and yet, time and time again the people who care about him tell him not to lose himself like they view him as whole. and again and again, he tells them that he can't. because he's tried to break himself in half and it doesnt fucking work like that. and he'll continue until he destroys himself because hes fucking Tired of being whole.

#habeas speaks #qsmp #qsmp liveblog #qsmp cellbit #qsmp charlie slimecicle #qsmp badboyhalo #idk im just deeply interested in like. this character who. dont get me wrong. IS AWFUL but who put in effort to become better #and it didnt Fix Him. #but he was so good at acting like he'd been fixed that people forgot domesticated dogs still bite when poked too hard with sticks #and its not like he was manipulating them either he genuinely Wanted to move forward and be normal for his son and his family #but then his family was taken from him time and time again and he was humiliated and backed into a corner #and all of a sudden the teeth come out and he makes the choice to keep them out but now has to deal with everyone being shocked he has teeth #who wish he didnt but dont understand he tried to forget too #the incongruous image they have of him in their heads of man turned monster when hes always seen himself as monster turned man #who was always just a monster and learned to use a human face

[kicktwine]

I wonder how much of Alphinaud's ARR attitude not only comes from the teenage "I know better" mindset, but also from him seemingly not having any actual friends growing up. He certainly seemed to *impress* people, but did he ever befriend anyone? No one talks about him having any kind of proper camaraderie back at the Studium...

im like, nearly certain you’re right. almost everything about his upbringing would lead to having no friends, and nothing that we know about vis a vis the twins as kids points to them having friends that aren’t adults? alisaie mentions shes happy hes hanging out with arenvald bc that Never happened before and ALSO she mentions not bringing anyone over to hang out. n despite alphy having people over they were all like... this 13 year old invites you a college student to his estate how are you. like look the twins are rich and go to private schools around their house. setup one. everyone mentioned to come over and hang out in the short stories or their memory is like, krile. urianger. grandpa's friends. theyre close with much older people. theyre INCREDIBLY smart as kids, and jump at least four grades. also, kids aren't often that fond of their-age kids who are way smarter, especially if they KNOW they're smarter than everyone. they absolutely thought they were better bc of it. they know better because they're smarter. 11 year olds in college are very cute, very impressive, but their brains literally haven't grown in yet so they cant be like, friends. they can be cool and rich and smart (whoa a 14 year old with a subversive understanding of politics!) but not friends. YKNOW? they were totally friendless kids who thought they were above most people if not just their age group. and they did not care at the time at ALL ghsdk

#im sure they care Now... #alisaie almost immediately found other girls her age (not of her own choice) and was like WHOA. except for they died so. hm. #alphy took waaaaay longer to find A Friend His Age. i feel like it would still be hard theyre still not 20 yet even though. they feel it #anyways. no yeah #hes very smart hes very rich everyone tells him hes great he knows better and Yet #ask #anon #ffxiv #endwalker #arr

[pyjamacryptid]

‘The forest is forever because it dies and dies and so it lives.’ - Tales from Earthsea: Dragonfly, by Ursula K. Le Guin

#bbc merlin #merlin #merlinedit #merlin emrys #arthur pendragon #morgana pendragon #mordred #YOU EVER THINK TOO HARD ABOUT HOW TRAPPED BY FATE AND DESTINY AND PROPHECY MERLIN FELT #THAT HE FELT SO CORNERED AND DICTATED BY IT #AND FEARED SO STRONGLY FOR ARTHUR'S LIFE #WHICH HE BELIEVED TO BE JUST AS DICTATED BY THE DESTINY HE'D BEEN CONDITIONED TO ADHERE TO #THAT HE LET IT ERODE AWAY HIS MORALS. HIS BELIEFS. #(not entirely. he’s still merlin. but he made so many choices or non-choices out of fear. and I feel for him so terribly) #ESPECIALLY WHEN IT ONLY FELT PROVEN RIGHT EACH TIME HE WAS BURNED #AND THAT HIS LACK OF CONFIDANTS (AND THE DEATH OF A CONFIDANT) MEANT HE WAS NOT ONLY TRAPPED BY FATE BUT HIS OWN PERSPECTIVE AND FEAR #it must've eaten him alive until he was so hollow that the fear just spread and made a home #anyway #i'm Normal about this of course #:)) <- evil. but in pain. full of thoughts. #merlin meta #scheduled #ren edits #merlin photoset

[spacedlexi]

people who think clem surviving makes no sense are so funny. "they were literally foreshadowing her death the entire season" let me introduce you to the concept of a red herring. she tells lilly she isnt lee and shes right. the narrative was forcing her down that path, a path she saw as an inevitable fate waiting to take her too, but its a narrative broken by aj, who is also his own person and not S1 clem

"it happened to lee, and itll happen to you" lilly tells clem she'll die protecting aj from some mistake he makes, when in reality his defiance of her will is what saves her life after she had already accepted her fate. he breaks clem free from the lee cycle and they get their relatively happy ending. good for them

#anyway in the commentary they talk about how they Were going to have a death ending but didnt like the idea of the good/bad ending #and how people would moreso try to avoid the 'bad end' which i understand and appreciate bc thats usually what happens #so instead they gave us both :) idk why some people seem to have such a huge problem with that #they broke the cycle :) the ericson kids broke the cycle by being a loving community :) they all break the cycle by refusing the delta #lilly and minnie were both lost to the cycle. lilly with her dad and minnie with lilly #minnie couldnt let go. clem almost did the same and it would have killed her too. but aj makes a Choice and it saves her #god even tho clem is noticeably happier in s4 shes still so gd depressed and Tired. she accepted it so fast im so glad he saved her #like idk you saw her come back on screen after that massive fake out and you got Mad?? i was crying twice as hard #i know ive made this similar post before but like i still see this criticism in 2024 and i just have to laugh now #it speaks #twdg #i just love the narrative threads of S4 bro.... seasons 1 and 4 are two sides of the same coin and i love that. its satisfying

[fried-manto]

Saiou is so sunflower tho

#I was gonna draw some sunnflower but then I realised how similar Basil's hair to Kokichi's #and then I was like OH MY GODD NO WONDER I HAD SUCH A HARD TIME WHENEVER I TRIED TO DRAW BASIL!!! #2022 me really hated having to draw Basil but since I'm now a full time Ouma enjoyer I had no choice but to get good at it (STILL ISNT THO) #like Kokichi's omori sprite is probably just basil but with black hair #kinda like rowan vibes #omori #danganronpa v3 #shuichi saihara #kokichi oma #kokichi ouma #omori fandom #omori basil #omori omori #yes its a crossover #do you have a problem with my hyperfixation mixing HAH #my art #omori fanart

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

The picture of edas friends as children, reminding us that all these adults, allies and villains alike, were once children. They were abused and indoctrinated by the same system that some of them are using to abuse and indoctrinate kids now. A few of them like alador and darius were able to see whats wrong and fight for a better world. But people like odalia sided with the emperor until it was too late because thats the only thing theyve ever known. And then it cuts to adult lilith and raine and shows how a lifetime of living under this system has sapped the joy out of them. How as kids they never would have thought to make their last stand against they system thats been there their whole lives. Its the lifetime of trauma and the perpetuation of the cycle of abuse for me

#the owl house #toh #shut up pandora #kings tide #thats why i dislike everyone saying that x character got redeemed or dont deserve redemption or smth #bc in toh redemption isnt the point its what belos has been doing with his christian guilt #the point is that everyone has fallen to the wiles of a cult leader #and many of these ppl would have grown up to be normal if not a little bitchy and dramatic #but because of belos they were manipulated into heinous things that they can never take back #and even though the world and their religious leader was the one to tell them to do these things #they still made their own choice to listen #because hard as it was to say no to these atrocities the choice was there as shown by the rebel squad #and if more people went against the emperor #especially the coven heads #he wouldnt have succeeded in the day of unity #but because belos was so persuasive and the coven heads and odalia were so obsessed with special treatment #they couldnt see the red flags and they almost caused a genocide

[age-of-moonknight]

Variant cover for Vengeance of the Moon Knight (Vol. 2/2024), #1 by Alessandro Cappuccio.

#Marvel #Marvel comics #Marvel 616 #Vengeance of the Moon Knight #Vengeance of the Moon Knight vol. 2 #Vengeance of the Moon Knight 2024 #Moon Knight comics #let’s get this other bread #Moon Knight #heLLO #Mr. Cappuccio please why did you have to go so hard #why does this have to be such a cool design #I’m obsessed with all the upside-down crescents and how the leg armor goes all the way up practically to the hip #how there’s still those teal highlights but they’re much darker than what was used for Marc’s Moon Knight #and don’t even get me started on the weapon choice #just you know the usual #thank you Mr. Cappuccio and Ms. Rosenberg

[bunnieswithknives]

Brain friend doodles!! I like their designs and felt sad about not using them again so more coming...

#dhmis #don't hug me i'm scared #two of us AU #two of us!Roy #brain friends #I wanna mention that Roy doesnt actually talk like :3 its more to show that even tho he can talk its still distorted and hard to understand #also notice Puppet Pete overly praising roy... #cause alive roy felt like career choice made him an embarrassment/failure

[trans-cuchulainn]

had a really interesting convo yesterday about ethics and whether intent or results matters (eg if you tried to make an ethical purchasing choice but the business was actually exploitative as hell, does that "count") and very much came to the conclusion that sure, if you're concerned with your personal immortal soul, as a christian might be, then intention counts. but if what you're focused on is your impact on the world, then intention means nothing if the actions have negative results, right? (that doesn't mean you're to blame for them! you didn't know! but you also don't get "ethics points" for trying, you know?)

and this also got me thinking about the whole christian idea that sinful thoughts are as bad as sinful actions because. they're just not imo. maybe for the sake of your Immortal Soul they are points against you, if that's your jam. but in terms of putting good into the world, in terms of your impact on other people, the ONLY thing that matters is what you choose to do with those thoughts. there is no way that "was kind to someone who was pissing me off, for the sake of community harmony" or "helped an acquaintance with a task even though I felt resentful about the time spent doing that" is a Bad Thing for the world

and it made me wonder how much purity culture and thought policing is rooted in (mostly evangelical) cultural christianity and this idea that ethical choices are an individual thing because what matters is the impact of them on YOUR soul and not, you know, things we do because of what we owe the world around us / because of love for others / because a world where people are trying to put good into it is a hell of a lot nicer to live in than one where people are only worried about themselves

i grew up evangelical but like. fairly mild evangelical and even though there wasn't a big focus on hell and stuff, i definitely fixated on imperfect thoughts and behaviours that were putting absolutely no harm into the world, rather than focusing on what i could do to put good into it, and that individualistic vs outward-focused approach to morality has been something i've grappled with a lot as an adult. but i never really thought about it as simply as this and really that's what it boils down to. are you making the ethical choice because you're trying to put good in the world, or because it would make you a "good person" to do so? because the answer to that 100% defines whether it's the thought or the result that counts

#also i feel like Sinful Thoughts Are As Bad As Sinful Actions... #as well as being bullshit... #is just like a one way trip to moral ocd and a whole lot of guilt spirals #and i just don't think it's useful! you can't necessarily choose your thoughts! #you can however choose your actions because Good is something you do not something you are #ethics #i do think The Good Place did more to make me interrogate my evangelical upbringing and ethical assumptions than anything else #but also this idea of putting good into the world... idk. it's kind of encouraging AND scary #i don't think I'm naturally a very good person but i can choose to do good #i can be bitter and jealous and resentful and still help people and make their lives a little easier #and my feelings are not actually impacting on the world whereas my actions are #at the same time in a society built on exploitation and corporate greeed #it's hard not to be conscious of the harm my actions are doing without me trying #i didn't necessarily make an unethical choice but all of my choices cause harm to someone somewhere #living in the west and the global north and whatever you become very conscious of that

[ziracona]

Mike missing his shot to kill Hector and change the trajectory of his life and stay the man he wanted to be, because Ignacio got in the way and he wouldn’t shoot through him

Mike missing his shot to kill Walt and change the trajectory of his life from death to anything else, because Jessie got in the way and he wouldn’t shoot through him

#better call Saul #breaking bad #mike erhmantraut #Mike missing his shot to save his son and ruining his own life and three others in one moment and then refusing to ever kill his son again #but because he never quite understood which chocie it was that killed his son still still for all his love and all his effort it’s never #quite enough. because it wasn’t the warning mike. it wasn’t what you said. it’s all the other things that made you the person who said it #you try so hard but you still can’t see the line. and because of that your tragedy repeats again and again #Jesse in s5 outside smoking while you all disintegrate a 12 year old in a barrel of acid because he’s the only one in the room with a #fundamental understanding of which choice it was. which is why he’s the one who survives and can start over #he knows what the mistake was

[mazeyphaedra]

HELIO CHOSE HER, BUT SHE CHOSE CASSANDRA.

Traci Brimall, Vive, Vive // Mitski, Goodbye My Danish Sweetheart // Unknown // Katie Maria, God is made of hunger and I am made of dreams // Ally Beardsley, Fantasy High: Sophomore Year // Caravaggio, Judith Beheading Holofernes // @inkskinned, When I’m sad, I write goodbye letters to the people I care about. Once I’ve said goodbye to everyone, I can go. // Ally Beardsley, Fantasy High: Junior Year // Florence & The Machine, Girls Against God // Hozier & Allison Russell, Wildflower and Barley

#ally beardsley you are so special to me #you and your choices #sunny twindenial has already made the most RICH compelling relevant beautiful webweave ive EVER seen and it was abt kristen n cassandra #could never compare would never try #this is just factoring the helio of it all. and intention and choice. because i do think she’s been trying #not as hard as she could be but still!!!!!! she NEVER GRAPPLED WITH THE PARTS OF [helioic religion] THAT FUCKING WORKED FOR HER!!!!!!!!! #sick and twisted that ur exes dont immediately forget about you as soon as you break up. like thats not for you anymore!!!!! #ive lost the plot. thats trackerbees impact for u #ANW i like being able to move my web strands around the post on mobile & i dislike when i cant . so thats why the layout is flat and boring #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #fhsy #fh #fantasy high junior year spoilers #fhjy spoilers #dimension 20 #d20 #helio #cassandra #kristen applebees #kristen #ww #uh oh! #spideryna #one day i will run out of silken strands with which to weave #this is not that day