#Between You And Me. a type 40 isn’t that impressive of a model. they just want you to think that and know you don’t know any better.

[seveneyesoup]

one of my favorite bits in doctor who is when someone is like your time machine doesn’t work very well does it and the doctor is like Excuse You, This Is A Type 40 TARDIS That Can Go Anywhere In Time And Space. that’s like if i drove to a place where they don’t have cars but know about them and took someone for a drive and they saw cooling that only works on one setting and heat that barely works and a broken cd player despite the functioning tape deck and shaky brakes and they went mate your cars a bit shit isn’t it and you were like fuck you, this is a 2002 toyota camry, it can drive on roads

#scream of the shalka bit where the doctor says that and alison is like okay and then the master is like #Between You And Me. a type 40 isn’t that impressive of a model. they just want you to think that and know you don’t know any better. #i do though. #also idk what features a 2002 camry has if they even had cd players it’s just an old car and an unimpressive model #no shade though i drive 2005 honda so yk. stones and glass houses #i like my car even but i wouldn’t demand anyone be impressed by her #wait actually the doctor about the tardis is that post that’s like if i had a lame ass bf i’d hype him up id go in a restaurant #and say here comes the worlds most special boy if you don’t clap for him i’m going to blow you all up #and u know what. they’re right #i just think it’s funny that specifically to make her seem impressive they say the model and stress that she can do what in theory #any timeship can #doctor who

[longitudinalwaveme]

Giant Robots Vs Scale

I am well aware that scale does not exist in this franchise, and that my research was cursory at best, so take all of the following with a grain of salt.

So, the Dinobots. In terms of alt modes, we have:

Grimlock: Tyrannosaurus rex (40 feet long, 13 feet tall at the hips, 14 metric tons)

Snarl: Stegosaurus stenops (30 feet long, about 3 tons)

Slag: Triceratops horridus (26-30 feet long, 6.1-12.0 metric tons)

Sludge: Brontosaurus excelsus (72 feet long; 15 tons).

Swoop: Pteranadon longiceps (6 feet tall, 20-23 foot maximum wingspan, possibly around 35 pounds)

With the exception of Swoop, who's roughly human-sized in alt mode, discounting the wings, they're all pretty large, but not exceptionally so, especially compared to the alternate modes of most Decepticons. (Brawl, a Leopard A1 main battle tank, is 31 feet long; Vortex, a Kaman SH-2 Seasprite, is 44 feet long; the Seekers, who are all F-15 Eagles, are about 64 feet long, etc.)

This gave me the idea of scaling the Dinobots' alternate modes so that they're the same size proportionately to an Autobot car (usually around 13-15 feet tall) that the dinosaur off of which their alternate mode is based would be to a human. While this is absolutely not necessary for the fiction (especially since, as noted above, scale does not exist in this franchise), I thought it would be interesting to see the results. Assuming that we're measuring dinosaurs against a six-foot human male, this means that we're working with a size increase of (very roughly) X 2.5, which gives us the following results:

Grimlock: 100 feet long, 32.5 feet tall at the hips (note that Grimlock would probably be considerably taller at the head since he's an anatomically inaccurate Tyrannosaurus who stands upright), approximately 35 metric tons.

Snarl: 75 feet long, approximately 15 tons.

Slag: 65-75 feet long, approximately 15.25-30 metric tons.

Sludge: 180 feet long, 37.5 tons.

Swoop: 15 feet tall/long, 50 foot wingspan. He'd definitely be more than 87.5 pounds, since he's made of metal and doesn't need to be lightweight in order to fly like a real Pteranadon would, but that is what a 2.5 increase in weight would be compared to the original weight.

So if you want your Dinobots to be really big...there you go. (Well, except Swoop. Even X 2.5 his dimensions are only about equal to those of the Autobot cars...though he does have a longer wingspan than the F-16, the F-4, the Harrier II Jump Jet, and even the F-15).

Other useless (but funny) scale information:

Groove, the Honda Goldwing GL 1200 Police Motorcycle, is only about eight feet long. If we're nice to him and multiply his stats by 2.5 like we did with the Dinobots, that increases to 20 feet and actually makes him a bit larger than his generally 13-15 foot long car teammates. His weight would also increase from 875.5 pounds to 2,188.75 pounds. This would, however, make his motorcycle mode completely worthless as a disguise. (The Dinobots don't have this problem. Since they transform into metal versions of extinct animals, they're not fooling anyone regardless of how close they are to the size of the actual animals.)

Blades, his teammate, is a Bell UH-1V Iroquois Helicopter, and as such, is about 57 feet long and weights about 5,125 pounds (I'm presuming this is empty). If we decrease his size in the same way that we increased Groove's, this would make him 22.8 feet long and 2,050 pounds. He'd still be a little big, but he's scale much better with his teammates than he would at full size.

Streetwise is pretty simple. He's a Nissan 300ZX Turbo police car. He's 14.2 feet long and weighs in at 2,888-3,280 pounds, so pretty standard for a car.

First Aid is a Datsun Vanette C120 ambulance, and he's....surprisingly short. A Datsun Vanette C120 is only about 14 feet long. He's also about five and half feet wide, and weighs in at a surprisingly light 1,907-2,315 pounds. Have I been overestimating ambulance size this whole time, or is he just at tiny ambulance? Note that Ratchet and Ironhide are very similar in size to First Aid, as they are also Datsun Vanettes.

Hot Spot is a Mitsubishi Fuso Great Fire Engine, which was surprisingly difficult to find stats for. Based on the information I could find, he's nearly 25 feet long (24.93 feet) and weighs in at 16,931.5 pounds, making him the heaviest member of the team even if Blades is at full size. So, if we increase Groove's size by X 2 (X 2.5 seems a bit large) and decrease Blades by the same amount as we originally increased Groove, we'd actually have a kind-of sort-of reasonably scaled Protectobot team! As it stands, though, Groove and Blades are throwing everything off to a hilarious extent.

The Combaticons are a nightmarish mess. Since Swindle has become very strongly tied to a jeep alternate mode even though his original toy did not transform into a jeep, and his alternate mode animation model looks a LOT like Hound's, I'll be working off the assumption that Swindle is, in fact, a J59 Jeep, just like Hound. This would make him about 11.5 feet long and 2,665 pounds. This is small. If we multiply these stats by 2.5, this gets us 28.75 feet and 6,662.5 pounds. This would be a huge jeep, but he'd still be smaller (or at the very least, lighter) than all of his teammates.

Brawl is a Leopard A1 Main Battle Tank. (His animation model doesn't LOOK like one, but neither is it incredibly obviously something else, as is the case with Swindle.) Counting the fully extended turret, he's 9.54 meters, or 31.3 feet, long. (The main body of the tank is somewhere around 27 feet long.) He weighs in at 46.5 tons (that's 93,000 pounds!) However, as far as length is concerned, he scales reasonably well with a x2.5 Swindle.

Vortex is a Kaman SH-2 Seasprite helicopter. He's 38 feet, 4 inches long and weighs 7,040 pounds empty. This means he's about 7 feet longer than Brawl (including the turret), and about 10 feet longer than Swindle x2.5. Even at his absolute maximum weight capacity (13,300 pounds) he's still FAR lighter than the tank, however.

Onslaught is a headache, because, while he's obviously an anti-aircraft truck, neither his toy nor his animation model appear to be any particular type of anti-aircraft truck, making it really difficult to guess as to how large he might be.

A YouTube video posted by a user by the name of Nemesis Bloodryche suggests that he looks similar to the Russian BAZ-6909 10x10. It is 11,300 millimetres, or about 37 feet, long, and weighs 48,502 pounds (or about 24 tons). This would scale appropriately with Brawl and reasonably well with Vortex.

Blast Off is a space shuttle orbiter. (If he was the full space shuttle, he'd be even more massive than this!) He's 122 feet long, with a width of 58 feet and 7 inches and a wingspan of 78 feet. This means that he is wider than any of his teammates are long. He weighs in at a 53,930 pounds, which, while impressive, is somehow still less than Brawl (93,000 pounds). He's 3 times longer than Vortex and Onslaught, 4 times longer than Brawl sans turret and Swindle X 2.5, and almost 11 times longer than a properly-scaled J59 Jeep Swindle. Needless to say, he and Swindle are the main reason that Bruticus is such a mess, scale-wise. Believe it or not, though, Blast Off still isn't the worst in terms of scale. Also, if we kept Swindle's increased size and decreased Blast Off's size by the same factor, things would at least become slightly more reasonable, as this would give us a 48.8 foot long Blast Off, which, while still big, is not as ridiculously so.

Most of the Aerialbots, being fighter jets, are at least somewhat reasonably scaled. Slingshot, the Harrier II, is 46 feet long and 12,500 pound empty; Skydive, the F-16, is 49 feet, 5 inches long and 18,900 pounds empty; Fireflight, the F-4 Phantom II, is 63 feet long and 30,328 pounds empty; Air Raid, the F-15 is nearly 64 feet long and weighs 28,500 pounds empty. It's not perfect by a long shot, but it works if you squint, especially since Slingshot is usually depicted as smaller than the others. And then Silverbolt ruins everything. Silverbolt is a Concorde SST, 202 feet long and 173,504 pounds empty. He's longer and heavier than Blast Off, the space shuttle orbiter! Sure, the torso should logically be a bit larger than the combiner limbs, but this is just ridiculous. He's 3.2 times longer than Air Raid, his longest teammate, and 5.7 times heavier than Fireflight, his heaviest teammate! He's even 1.86 times heavier than the 46-ton tank and 1.65 times the length of the space shuttle orbiter! If we reduce his size by a factor of 2.5, Silverbolt would be 80.8 feet long and weigh 69,401.6, which, while not perfect, would be a lot more manageable than a full-sized Concorde SST.

The Stunticons have a similar problem. The four small cars actually scale even better than the Aerialbots. Drag Strip, the Tyrell P34, is 13.58 feet long and weighs 1,370 pounds. Breakdown, the Lamborghini Countach, is also 13.58 feet long, and weighs 2,978 pounds. Wildrider, the Ferrari 308 GTB, is 13.87 feet long and weighs 2,784 pounds. And Dead End, the Porsche 928, is 14.8 feet long and weighs between 1,450 and 1,620 pounds. They're not perfect, but they're all within less than three feet of one another! That's considerably better than the differences between the smaller Aerialbots, and MUCH better than the scale difference between, say, Blades and Groove. But then there's Motormaster. He is a truck and trailer. The "truck" part is the Kenworth K100 Aerodyne sleeper truck, which is about 20 feet long. The problems come in with the "trailer" part. A box trailer is about 48 feet long, and, since Motormaster's robot mode is composed of both truck and trailer, this makes him around 68 feet long, with a rough weight estimate of somewhere between 10,000 and 25,000 pounds. While he's not as huge as Silverbolt, he is just as large, if not larger, compared to his largest teammates, being 4.6 times longer than Dead End and 3.35-8.37 times heavier than Breakdown. Again, thanks to the YouTube video mentioned above for the length of the trailer. That being said, if we did what we did with Blades and Silverbolt and reduced his size by a factor of 2.5, Motormaster would be 27.2 feet long and between 4,000 and 10,000 pounds, and things would actually scale rather well. (This would also help to mitigate the scale discrepancy between Motormaster and Optimus Prime.)

Astrotrain, like Blast Off, is a space shuttle orbiter, 122 feet long and 53,930 pounds. However, unlike Blast Off, he is also a train: the JNR Class D51, which is 64 feet long. (There is a weight listed for the train, 76.8 tons, but I'm not sure if this weight refers only to the engine. Astrotrain's body is composed only of the engine, not the entire train.) This means that, when transforming from a train into a space shuttle, Astrotrain almost doubles in length!

Broadside transforms into some sort of fighter jet (neither the G1 toy nor the animation model resemble any known jet enough to tell for sure). For the sake of argument, we'll say he's an F-15. The F-15 is almost 64 feet long. His other alternate mode is an aircraft carrier. A Nimitz class aircraft carrier is 1,092 feet long. Broadside's aircraft carrier alternate mode would be 16 times longer than his airplane mode! Even Silverbolt, who is massive, would be 5.4 times shorter than Broadside's aircraft carrier mode! As insane as Astrotrain's doubling in length is, Broadside increasing his size by a factor of 16 is much, much more so.

Metroplex transforms into....a city? (Okay, so he really looks like he transforms into a fort, but it's more fun to imagine the scale of a true city-sized robot.) The largest city by land mass in the US, Oklahoma City, is 621 miles squared. While square miles can't really be used to measure distance, it is very, very roughly 16-ish miles in diameter. If Metroplex is the size of Oklahoma City (unlikely), this would make him around 84,480 feet tall. Mt. Everest is 29,032 feet tall. Metroplex would be nearly 3 times the height of Mt. Everest!

When it comes to determining Unicron's scale, the answer depends on whether we go with the roughly moon-sized Cybertron seen in the cartoon or the apparently Saturn-sized Cybertron of the comics. Please note that these estimates are VERY rough. The diameter of the Moon is 2,158.8 miles. If we assume, as seems probable, that Unicron at least doubles in length when he transforms, this would make him at least 4,317.6 miles tall. That's 22,796,928 feet tall! His gravitational force would be about 1.6 meters per second squared, and would have a mass of 7.342×10 to the 22nd power kg. (Mathematical expressions don't seem to work properly on this site.) If Unicron is instead the size of Saturn, he would have a diameter of 72,376 miles. If we double this, we get 144,752 miles tall or 373,460,160 feet! He would have a mass of at least 5.683 X 10 to the 26th power kilograms, and a gravitational force of at least 10.44 meters/second squared. I'm also pretty sure that it would be next to impossible to get a solid planet at this size. Saturn, unlike Unicron, is made of gas, enabling it to be much larger than a metal planet could logically grow.

#transformers #scale #transformers g1 #combaticons #stunticons #dinobots #aerialbots #protectobots #unicron #triple changers #long post

[propensityforthemature44]

Texas Triangle

For most of my forties, I worked as the assistant news director for CBS News, based in Manhattan.    The position came with a number of perks, most notably salary and benefits greater than I would have earned back in my hometown on California’s Central Coast, where my career began.  Within mere walking distance, so many of New York’s great museums, concert halls, restaurants, etc. were right there to explore during the little free time allowed by a demanding career.  It was a spectacular time, the dynamics of television journalism in the twenty-first century, always learning something new, and the great people with whom I worked, the latter being perhaps one of the greatest benefits.  This was especially true regarding one particular co-worker: legendary anchorman Bob Schieffer.

Arguably one of the more recognizable reporters of our time with an impressive CV, Bob commanded the respect of everyone at Black Rock, as the New York headquarters of CBS is known, not just because of his professional accomplishments, but because of how well he interacted with others.  Whether you were network top brass or a member of the cleaning crew, he treated everyone with a sincere compassion.  It was quite common on a Monday morning for Bob to pass through the halls and ask other employees how their kids performed at a piano recital or baseball game over the weekend.  His affable nature allowed for bridge-building and ease of relationship maintenance between management and on-air talent, which made my life easier. This was a sharp contrast to the environment during the time of his friend and predecessor, Dan Rather, with whom I was acquainted and got on well, but the mention of whose name still drew eye-rolls on the property.  Our professional dealings were so excellent, that they eventually led to a friendship outside of work.

After a couple of years on the job, Bob and I became such good friends, we were frequent guests at one another’s home for dinner parties.  In fact, I had even been to his home for Christmas Eve dinner on consecutive years.  His wife was a wonderful, gracious woman, and the same could be said for the rest of the family whom I had the opportunity to meet.  It was a friendship based on trust in a professional situation, but had blossomed into what I considered to be a very rewarding relationship.  

Due to our difference in ages, he was in many ways a role model given his life experiences.  Also, I found myself very attracted to him, and why not?  He was a handsome, well-dressed, intelligent mature gentleman with a wonderful personality, in other words, exactly my type.  The exceptions being that he was straight, a colleague, and a friend.

One spring, I had planned to return to California, where I kept a home for visits and eventual retirement, for a couple of weeks to attend a family wedding and also to take some time to wind down by travelling along the coast.  A few days before I was scheduled to head west, my boss summoned me to his office one afternoon.  He requested that I schedule some time to speak with Bob about a personnel matter involving the research department.  When I reminded him that I would not be back in New York for two weeks, he expressed a desire for the matter to be concluded quickly.  So, I mentioned that I would be seeing Bob in Austin at the end of the week, and could discuss then.  He was a great boss, but I knew that he was aware that as a friend, I would be attending the awarding of an honorary doctorate to Bob by the University of Texas on my way back to the West Coast.  A crafty move on his part, but I would have tried the same.

A few days later, I traveled to Austin for a night, and checked into the Four Seasons downtown, where Bob was staying.  Upon checking in, the clerk informed me that he had passed to the front desk a message asking me to visit his suite.  I thanked her, and headed to my own room to drop-off my luggage, and do some minimal unpacking.  It was already 2:30 in Austin, and I was flying to SFO to get a connecting flight the next afternoon following the award and luncheon.

Upon settling, I headed to Bob’s suite on the top floor. I knocked on the door, and then heard, “I’ll be right there, John,” in his familiar Texas drawl.  When he opened the door, we shook hands, and then embraced in a more familiar hug of close friends.  He showed me around, a rather impressive room of no less than 1800 square feet overlooking the river.  “Where is Patricia?” I asked.  Bob replied, “Well, change of plans.”  He explained that his wife had gone to visit her sister in Dallas, whose husband was recovering from a recent procedure.  I asked him to pass along my regards.

We made our way into the living room to take care of business, which concluded rather quickly to my delight, and from there began to just be ourselves.  I congratulated him on the honor, and Bob being Bob, became flushed and modest.  He then arose, and asked if I wanted a drink, and he poured me a vodka on the rocks.  From there, we began to get caught up on a number of personal matters.

At one point he asked, “So, did you ever fill in that plus one on the wedding invitation?”  Even though we were close, I was taken by surprise, forgetting that Bob had been in my office when the invite arrived several months prior.  “No,” I said.  “I’ll be attending solo.  This way, I can focus on visiting with people at the events.  I only get back to the Coast a few times a year.”

This seemed to draw a rather puzzled look on Bob’s face, as I could clearly see the eyebrows pointed upward through the lenses of his reading glasses.  “Come on, John.  Are you trying to tell me that you can’t get a date for this wedding? You’re in your prime.  Forty-five years old, handsome, well-educated, well-traveled, great career, and you spend most of your time in California when not in New York.  I’m sure there are plenty of eligible gentlemen in both places who would love to accompany you.”

I was shocked, to say the least.  On the one hand, flattered, on the other, feeling as if I’d been drawn out of the closet, even though my being gay was not a secret at headquarters.  Before I could respond, Bob asked, “Did you think I did not know?  You know it doesn’t matter, right?”  The answer of course being, I knew, despite the whole TCU connection he had, that he did not care about ethnicity, orientation, race, religion, etc., with regard to how he viewed people.  

“I suppose that it’s just never come up in conversation between us over the years,” I said.  Thinking about it, I supposed it was true, despite my occasional lusts for him.  

“Well, no pressure, but I would just like to see you with someone.  This isn’t the 1950’s, a couple of 40’s/50’s something guys like you should be enjoying the time together”, Bob said with a smile.

I answered, “That could be an issue.  You see, I have a type, and what you describe, doesn’t match.”  

“Well then, what is your type of man?” Bob inquired.  

In a matter of seemingly no time, I found myself pouring out the details of my ideal man: mature, handsome, worldly, cultured, gentile.  He laughed, “Why on Earth would you want to be with an old man?”  “Not just any old man, the right sort of older man.  Truth be told, he would be a man, like you, Bob, in many respects.”

He looked a little taken aback, so I said that I would head back to my room, and see him at the ceremony.  As I made my way for the front door, I felt a tug on my right arm, and when I turned around, Bob embraced me in a hug and said, “Don’t leave just yet.  You just surprised me is all.  You know that there is no problem for us, right?”  

“Yes,” I said.  

“You know that I love my wife, don’t you, John?”

“Of course, Bob.”

With that, he moved his arms down, and then up along my jacket, caressing my back and chest as he pulled me closer, pulling off his glasses before passionately and firmly pressing his lips to mine.  Not exactly the first time kissing a man significantly older than myself, but this was certainly unchartered territory.  I was so turned on, it felt as if I were high, and wow, could he kiss.  It was a perfect example of why older men are better: they know things.  Even more, I was beginning to realize this was not his first time with another man, certainly not when he began to move his hand over my crotch, focusing on my now fully erect manhood.

“What do we have here?” he asked slyly, as he bent down to unbuckle and open my slacks.  From there, he took me across his lips, and then along his tongue, taking my entirety within his mouth, moving me back and forth.  The sensation was so pleasing, I felt as if I was going to pass out in the middle of the suite.  Hearing his moans and seeing the look upon his face, Bob was enjoying the act at least as much.

After a couple of minutes, he stood and pressed himself against me, with me now feeling the full excitement coming from Bob’s side. We embraced in a kiss for minutes, not wanting to separate.  Toward the end, he was undoing my tie, and I his, after I removed my jacket, and then unzipped his fly, as I had imagined doing so many times over the years. Feeling a drop of pre-cum, I spread it along his tip, then began to move my hand back and forth, reveling in his moans and breathing, until he pulled himself closer and whispered, “Let’s go to the bedroom.”

Within a matter of seconds, we had completely undressed and were embraced near the foot of the bed, and engaged in a complete lip-lock. As I saw it, there was certainly no reason to separate now.  He tasted so good, and I knew he felt the same.  In addition, we had established that he loved his wife, I had no intention of getting in the way, and my attraction to him had clearly taken over after settling those details.

We separated for a moment, as Bob walked over to the side of the bed.  He pulled back the covers and climbed inside.  Leaning on his side he patted his hand on the opposite side of the bed and said, “Come on, don’t be shy,” grinning from ear to ear.  It was all the invitation needed for me to get under the covers and wrap my arms around his beautiful, smooth body.  I wasted no time before reuniting with his lips and playing with his wonderful tongue.  I moved my hands up and down his torso, finally settling down on his firm and gorgeous ass, adjusting to move my head down to focus on his nipples with my tongue and using my right hand to stroke him.  

I could not believe that this was happening.  This was a good friend, a colleague, and although this had been a fantasy for a few years, I could never have imagined that he would be so receptive and then some.  I had every intention of making the most of the opportunity, and thus moved further down to take him in my mouth, and give him his medicine.

“Oh my god,” he exclaimed.  “That is so wonderful.  Please don’t stop.”

I moved up and down along his shaft, wrapping my tongue around the head, and after a couple of minutes, began to really work the head with my mouth while using my hand to pleasure his shaft.  In doing so, I really began to get turned on by his moaning. After a few minutes, he placed his hand on my chest, as if to pause, but then pushed down until I lay flat on my back. Now, Bob was in charge, cleaning my testicles with his tongue, before focusing down on my cock. He moved up and down, closing his eyes, then opening them so that he could see the look of joy upon my face, and he certainly knew how to put in there with years of practice.  

What seemed like hours of pure delight had passed when he let up and pulled himself back up to cuddle and kiss deeply and passionately. He was so close to having me reach the limit, but suddenly pulled back from the act, held me close and whispered into my ear, “Please enter me, darlin’.  I want you to, it will be okay.”  Then, Bob, pulled away and reached into the night stand drawer, and to my surprise, produced a bottle of lube.

“Now, you what to do, don’t you?” Bob asked rhetorically, as he kissed me on the forehead.  So, I felt compelled to prove him right, and lubed my right index finger, and moved it slowly across his rosebud.  This made him twitch and tickle at first, but he knew he was in good company, and I would never let him feel discomfort.  So, as he loosened up after a minute, I lubed my middle finger as well, and began to slowly move them back and forth until I eventually reached his prostate.  Now, he was putty in my hands.  

Once my cock was sufficiently lubricated, I placed myself upon his precipice, slowly waiting for the right time, as I lay with my head upon his stomach. After a minute or two, I lifted my head toward his to embrace in a passionate kiss, after which he said, “I’m ready.”

I began to move ever so slowly back and forth, Bob in the missionary position, resting his heels on my shoulders, facing one another.  It was so hot with the pleasure being split equally.  Every time I thrust forward, I would make eye contact so as to see how much he was enjoying the penetration.  He was giddy like a schoolboy, but more appropriately as an adult, panting and moaning.  After several minutes, neither of us could handle any more, and I thrust against his prostate and ejected a stream within Bob, and then he let out a sigh, “Ohhh, god,” and shot a river of cum across my chest.  Once concluded, we wrapped one another in hugs and kisses, and cuddled. It had been a couple of months since my last experience, but would easily say it was the best sex I had at that point in my life.

Eventually, the silence was broken by the ring of the room’s landline.  Bob answered, “Hello.  Come on now, of course I didn’t forget about you.  Drop by when you’re ready,” he chuckled.

I looked over at the clock, and a couple of hours had since passed.  Then I looked at Bob, and said, “Well, if you’re having a visitor, perhaps it’s best if I move to my room.”  

Bob winked at me and said, “Don’t worry, sweetheart.  You may want to put this on, however,” as he passed me a robe, along with a pair of slippers.

After a few minutes, there was a knock at the door.  Bob went out to the hallway to answer, and I could hear the faint echo of what appeared to be excited conversation between old friends. In the moment, it occurred to me that Bob felt comfortable enough with me to have me here in a robe, while inviting someone else inside, but I still had a tinge of awkwardness about the room. This was originally supposed to be just a stop on the way back west, but had taken a fantastic detour.

Then, a minute later, Bob came walking around the corner, also robed. Then, he asked, “You met John back at one of the holiday parties, didn’t you?”  A moment later around the corner stepped James “Jim” Baker III, former Secretary of Treasury, White House Chief of Staff, to name just a few posts. Being a double-major political science/journalism as an undergraduate, of course he was a familiar figure, in addition to being introduced at Bob’s house.

“Of course.  Nice to see you again, John.”  He smiled, but you could tell from the expression on his face, that this, by no means, was the encounter he had expected.  It was known that although there had been many interviews over the years, they had developed a friendship off-camera.  So, while a stately, respectful man, he did seem somewhat put off that there was an extra man in the room, and reported, “Well, I won’t stay too long.”

The phone rang once more, and Bob said, “I’ll need to take this.  Can you two make yourselves comfortable?”  

“Sure,” we replied in unison.

Jim made his way around to sit on one of the sofas.  He was, I think, a rather handsome man in his own right.  Nicely cut head of white hair, beautiful navy blue suit with a red and blue striped tie, it was as if he’d just stepped out of a Brooks Brothers ad.                                                       

We attempted the task of small talk, although there was a bit of discomfort in the air.  The conversation shifted to the next day’s event for Bob, which brought us both to Austin in the first place, then moved to an overview of each of our schedules for the week. Eventually, I noticed him wince a little, and asked if he was okay.  

“Oh sure, I’m fine.  Just paying the price for a round of golf this past weekend.  No carts, all walking, so my feet are a little tender,” he chuckled.

 I’m not sure what came over me, but I stood up and moved an ottoman closer to Jim, and sat down.  Then, one-by one, I extended each of his legs and removed his cordovan Alden tassel loafers and began to massage his dress-socked feet.  

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” he said.  

“I’m sorry, I just thought you were having discomfort.  I’ll stop.”

“Well, it certainly is improving things,” Jim said, laughing a little.

I continued doing so for a couple of minutes, enjoying his pleasure.

Then, Bob returned and leaned over Jim to ask, “Do you still want to leave, Bake? They have such great service here.”

Bob then reached over and removed Jim’s suit jacket, as I continued to massage his tired feet.  After hanging his jacket, Bob returned, and from behind, planted a deep kiss on Jim’s lips, that seemed to go on for minutes.  It would have become obvious to an outside observer why Jim seemed edgy at first; he had planned on meeting Bob all by himself, and the way they were going at it, it was not the first or even fifth time, this had been an arrangement for a while.

While they were still kissing, I placed Jim’s feet on the floor, and made my way to his chair.  I moved my hand up and down each of his corresponding legs, and then focused on the midsection.  I caressed his torso, and transferred to his belt, which I unbuckled, then unzipped his fly and opened his slacks, and reaching inside the front hole of his boxers to release him.  Now, he was mine, all 7 inches of engorgement that had developed in the past few minutes, and I wrapped my mouth around the head of his beautiful cock and began working my way up and down.  I could feel the vein along the side, as it met my tongue, and could feel his excitement as he wriggled while still kissing Bob.  

Bob untied Jim’s tie, and I began to move my hand inside of his shirt to feel his amazing chest.  Not smooth like Bob’s, but just the right amount of hair, and light-colored.  In a few minutes, we moved to the bedroom.

We placed Jim back on the bed, and then proceeded to fully undress him.  I moved my way up the bed to kiss him, and again, older men know things.  He was a master kisser, and we worked on one another while Bob serviced Jim below the deck. After a minute or two, I extended my right hand upward and began playing with his nipple.  It seemed to be going well, so I released myself from his lips, and re-focused my mouth on his left nipple, while using my hand to play with his right.

To my delight, he was enthused, evidenced by his moaning of satisfaction.  In fact, he must have been so appreciative, because without notice, he eventually maneuvered so that he could take me into his mouth, and did he ever do so.  He had me in sheer ecstasy for several minutes, moving up and down on my head and shaft, completely reviving me for another performance.

At one point, he changed gears, shifting to Bob.  After all, Bob had been hard at work for some time, and it was his turn to receive the delights he deserved.  In doing so, he placed his hands on each side of Bob’s torso and pulled him up further on the bed.  Then, he got between Bob’s legs and lowered his head, lips first.  As he did, Bob’s patented grin returned to his face as he moved his head back and forth on the pillow.

It’s often said when a threesome occurs, that one person can find himself left out of the equation.  I did not find this to be the case, but rather an opportunity. Specifically, Jim’s spectacular ass was now staring me right in the face.  I extended my hands outward, massaging his buttocks.  It was wonderful, so smooth and tight, you could just feel that he worked out 3-4 times per week.  I could also feel that he was enjoying the chain of stimulation, as on the front end, his mouth and hand were now bringing Bob to new heights of joy.  So, I reached over to the bedside table and retrieved the bottle of lube from earlier.  One by one, I lubed my fingers, and began to finger Jim.  He wriggled a little at first, but began to relax and loosen up, so a couple of minutes later, I spread a generous amount of lube on my cock, and then inserted myself into the former Secretary of Treasury.

As I stated before, this is not anything like I had imagined this trip unfolding.  I wanted it to last as long as possible, so I slowly slid in and out.  He was so moist, and I was so turned by watching him blow Bob and all of the moaning coming from both of them.  I knew it would be only a few minutes at the most until I released myself within Jim.

“Jim,” Bob panted a few minutes later.  “I can’t hang on much longer.”

Jim pulled Bob out of his mouth and began to quickly jerk him off before replying, “Come on, honey.”

Bob threw his head back and said, “Oh my god,” and then proceeded to cum right into Jim’s mouth, which he took like a pro and countered, “Umhm.”

I couldn’t take any more myself, and then pushed further into Jim before shooting a load.

Bob put his head back on the pillow.  His expression was one of satisfaction and exhaustion.  He was spent.

Jim leaned over and covered Bob with the sheet.  Then, he kissed him deeply and passionately on the lips, then gently on the forehead.

I was now lying flat on my back, and Jim cuddled up next to me. He extended both hands, placed them on either side of my face, and pulled me in for a wonderful kiss that made me melt away, and we held in the embrace for several minutes.

“Doesn’t he look cute when he’s sleeping?” he asked me while looking over at Bob.

“As for you, you are every bit as good as I thought you’d be.  Mmm, mmm, mmm.  I knew the first time I laid eyes on you.”  With that, he maneuvered so that he was right on top of me, and as he did, his cock rubbed up against my leg, just dripping with pre-cum.  

Jim pressed his manhood right up against my balls and said, “There just one thing, son.  The next time you’re in Texas, I get Bobby first.  Understood?”

“Understood,” I said.

He then smiled at me, and lifted my legs upward so that my feet were now resting on his shoulders.  With his right hand, he grabbed the lube and squirted several drops on my anus and a plentiful amount over his cock, and moved it up and down his shaft.  Then, he got closer, and pushed himself gently up against my opening.  His cock was just the right size, not too thick, not too thin, that with the lube, he slid right into me.

 “Oh my,” he muttered, as he began to move back and forth.

It was heavenly, as he moved in and out, building up his pace over a few minutes.  Eventually, he unloaded what felt like a gallon of cum all over my insides, falling forward and resting his head on my chest for several minutes before he went limp and released himself from me.  

I must have dozed off because after a while, I felt a hand upon my chin.  I looked up to find Bob smiling as he asked, “Hello, darlin’.  Are you ready for another go?”

What transpired then is between the three of us. That said, it would not be my final encounter with either Bob or Jim.

[nutty1005]

Moving Moments: Xiao Zhan’s Journey of Feeling “High”

Original Article:https://www.weibo.com/ttarticle/p/show?id=2309404484534132408449#_0 Original Author: 花非花2218

A friend of mine told me something that touched me deeply. “The glorious moments he shared with us cannot be repaid simply with just silence.”

Listening to music and watching dramas – these are highly personal activities. These are like being in love – no matter how good the other party is, what is important is that there is chemistry between the two of you. There are countless good music and great musicians, but among them, only that voice stirred something within your heart. That special star in the whole universe.

That friend of mine told me that the songs chosen in “Our Song” are mostly mainstream pop songs, and those are not really her cup of tea, but she ended up watching it and loving it because of Xiao Zhan. This is exactly the same as me. Our tastes are actually more suited on other genres. Hence, this is why I must confess that I did not watch this show for the musicality, but more to support him. However, his performances touched me again and again.

I was already pleasantly surprised in his first appearance on the show for “Follow Your Feelings”, but I already said so in the previous article, hence I won’t repeat myself.

Night at the Naval Harbor《军港之夜》

This is my favorite. I felt this way when I first watched this episode, and I still feel the same way after watching the entire series.

I love how serene he was in this song. The way he sang it, not only required technicality, it also tested his ability as a singer to inject emotions into his singing, because the song needed to be sung simple and clean. I immediately remembered how a chef friend once told me that the best ingredients should be prepared as plainly as possible, such as poaching or steaming.

On his first note, the sound was young and pure, and it easily erased 40 years of age off the song (TN: The song was released in 1980). Later on when I reviewed the song again, I realized the first few verses sounded like it came with its own music box – the voice quiet yet rich. The harmony between him and Na Ying was almost perfect. From 3:20 until the soft humming at the end of the song, I was so immersed – I really felt like it was a lullaby and I was lost in it.

XZ Studio once used a good description in one of their posts – 洵美且好 handsome and gentle. (TN: This part is hard to translate, it came from an ancient Chinese poem《国风·郑风·叔于田》in praise of a young hunter.) I felt that this was especially apt in describing this performance.

After the song ended, I already felt that Team Na Zhan would win before the scores came out – clean and touching, and yet creative with the addition of Bossa nova into the music arrangement.  To me, a song that touches you is always more attractive than a song that only showcases technical prowess.

Faded《FADED》 

I had adrenaline high listening to “Faded”. Firstly, I enjoyed Xiao Zhan’s pronunciation. I am almost obsessively critical about this, almost like how critical I am when non-Chinese works are translated to Chinese. Of course, this is probably irrational, so in conclusion, this suited my palette. Secondly, as I watched the performance, I thought that this child has the potential to become a superstar.

Xiao Zhan has something special about him which is hard to find the right word in Chinese. Charm 魅力 is close enough, but it is insufficient. The word that I felt would be most apt would be charisma. Oxford dictionary as it defined as “the powerful personal quality that some people have, to attract and impress other people”. I felt that this quality is like an aura, or a type of aura, that you will know if the person has it the moment he stands on stage.

I once read an article about a supermodel manager describing how he scouted for models – he said that the difference between models and supermodels comes from the X factor. Some girls may not be especially pretty, or especially proportionate, but if you can feel that X factor from her, you know that she has the potential to become a supermodel. This sounded quite supernatural, but I understood the meaning of his words. A superstar definitely would have this quality – half of this is probably inborn, the other half achieved via hard work. I felt this instantly the first time I listened to “Faded”.

Perfect Life《完美生活》

On my first view, I could see that he was visibly nervous, since it was his first attempt on rock. In addition, the original version by Xu Wei was already embedded in my heart, so I kept feeling like there was something wrong. However, after listening to it a few times, this song actually became one of my favorites. Sure enough, my ear worms were more honest then my brain.

The unique charm about this song was the raw beast-like power that Xiao Zhan released in his singing. During rehearsals, Na Ying said “This song isn’t nice if you don’t sing out loud.”, and he decisively gave up on his forte, the high notes transitions between head voice and falsetto, and went for it with his head voice. I was surprised when I heard it.

Xu Wei sang his original version like it was a poetic short story, a road movie – the delivery was gentle and the emotions were smooth flowing. This is why the host, Lin Hai, said it was a subversion of the song when Xiao Zhan and Na Ying ended their performance. The emotions kept rising and falling – In the first verse, Xiao Zhan sang the high notes, and after Na Ying sang hers, he lowered his key down to his low range. This reminded me of something he had used to describe himself “up high there is radiance, down low there is submerged reefs”. In addition, I loved how Na Ying sang this song, and when they were in harmony, their contrast – one gentle the other rugged; one high the other low, was simply too enchanting.

Both of them said that they selected this song because they loved the lyrics. As expected, they “released themselves again, that brilliant emotions in their hearts”!

Annoying Autumn Breeze (Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!)《恼人的秋风》

Ahhhhhh! As the series progressed to this episode, Xiao Zhan is already comfortable in his performance onstage. I have watched this countless times, and every time I do, I am always filled with endless joy. For as quiet as “Night at the Naval Harbor” is, this song is just as lively. The melody, the stage and the delivery were 100% of the 1980s, and instantly brought me back to my schooling days.

What was surprising was that his performance was totally different from how he was like during rehearsals. His sexiness seemed to be only reserved for the stage – in the behind the scenes specials, you could see he was just a cute boy-next-door. This was the same case as “Magical”《神奇》, his rehearsals and the actual performance were like two different performances.

This performance is basically “sweep me up, easily, accept me as your fan”. Na Ying once said before “he was more lively and crazy during rehearsals, just that feeling, dancing, and his body language, blended perfectly with his music”; “you would be really great if you held your own concert”. I totally believed these points.

Feel free to tell me your moving moments.

#xiao zhan #sean xiao #xiaozhan #肖战

[scifigeneration]

An Earth-sized planet found in the habitable zone of a nearby star

by Ravi Kumar Kopparapu

An artist’s impression of an exoplanet in the habitable zone around a star. Credits: ESA/Hubble, M. Kornmesser

A few months ago a group of NASA exoplanet astronomers, who are in the business of discovering planets around other stars, called me into a secret meeting to tell me about a planet that had captured their interest. Because my expertise lies in modeling the climate of exoplanets, they asked me to figure out whether this new planet was habitable – a place where liquid water might exist.

These NASA colleagues, Josh Schlieder and his students Emily Gilbert, Tom Barclay and Elisa Quintana, had been studying data from TESS (Transiting Exoplanet Survey Satellite) when they discovered what may be TESS’ first known Earth-sized planet in a zone where liquid water could exist on the surface of a terrestrial planet. This is very exciting news because this new planet is relatively close to Earth, and it may be possible to observe its atmosphere with either the James Webb Space Telescope or ground-based large telescopes.

Habitable zone planets

The host star of the planet that Gilbert’s team discovered is called TESS of Interest number 700, or TOI-700. Compared to the Sun, it is a small, dim star. It is 40% the size, only about 1/50 of the Sun’s brightness and is located about 100 light-years from Earth in the constellation Dorado, which is visible from our Southern Hemisphere. For comparison, the nearest star to us, Proxima Centauri, is 4.2 light-years away from Earth. To get a sense of these distances, if you were to travel on the fastest spacecraft (Parker Solar Probe) to reach Proxima Centauri, it would take nearly 20,000 years.

There are three planets around TOI-700: b, c and d. Planet d is Earth-size, within the star’s habitable zone and orbits TOI-700 every 37 days. My colleagues wanted me to create a climate model for Planet d using the known properties of the star and planet. Planets b and c are Earth-size and mini-Neptune-size, respectively. However, they orbit much closer to their host star, receiving 5 times and 2.6 times the starlight that our own Earth receives from the Sun. For comparison, Venus, a dry and hellishly hot world with surface temperature of approximately 860 degrees Fahrenheit, receives twice the sunlight of Earth.

Until about a decade ago, only two habitable zone planets of any size were known to astronomers: Earth and Mars. Within the last decade, however, thanks to discoveries made through both ground-based telescopes and the Kepler mission (which also looked for exoplanets from 2009 to 2019, but is now retired), astronomers have discovered about a dozen terrestrial-sized exoplanets. These are between half and two times larger than the Earth within the habitable zones of their host stars.

Despite the relatively large number of small exoplanet discoveries to date, the majority of stars are between 600 to 3,000 light-years away from Earth – too far and dim for detailed follow-up observation.

TESS has discovered its first Earth-size planet in its star’s habitable zone, the range of distances where conditions may be just right to allow the presence of liquid water on the surface.

Why is liquid water important for habitability?

Unlike Kepler, TESS’ mission is to search for planets around the Sun’s nearest neighbors: those bright enough for follow-up observations.

Between April 2018 and now, TESS discovered more than 1,500 planet candidates. Most are more than twice the size of Earth with orbits of less than 10 days. Earth, of course, takes 365 days to orbit around our Sun. As a result, the planets receive significantly more heat than Earth receives from the Sun and are too hot for liquid water to exist on the surface.

Liquid water is essential for habitability. It provides a medium for chemicals to interact with each other. While it is possible for exotic life to exist at higher pressures, or hotter temperatures – like the extremophiles found near hydro-thermal vents or the microbes found half a mile beneath the West Antarctic ice sheet – those discoveries were possible because humans were able to directly probe those extreme environments. They would not have been detectable from space.

When it comes to finding life, or even habitable conditions, beyond our solar system, humans depend entirely upon remote observations. Surface liquid water may create habitable conditions that can potentially promote life. These life forms can then interact with the atmosphere above, creating remotely detectable bio-signatures that Earth-based telescopes can detect. These bio-signatures could be current Earth-like gas compositions (oxygen, ozone, methane, carbon dioxide and water vapor), or the composition of ancient Earth 2.7 billion years ago (mostly methane and carbon dioxide, and no oxygen).

We know one such planet where this has already happened: Earth. Therefore, astronomers’ goal is to find those planets that are about Earth-size, orbiting at those distances from the star where water could exist in liquid form on the surface. These planets will be our primary targets to hunt for habitable worlds and signatures of life outside our solar system.

The three planets of the TOI 700 system orbit a small, cool M dwarf star. TOI 700 d is the first Earth-size habitable-zone world discovered by TESS. NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center

Possible climates for planet TOI-700 d

To prove that TOI-700 d is real, Gilbert’s team needed to confirm using data from a different type of telescope. TESS detects planets when they cross in front of the star, causing a dip in the starlight. However, such dips could also be created by other sources, such as spurious instrumental noise or binary stars in the background eclipsing each other, creating false positive signals. Independent observations came from Joey Rodriguez at Center for Astrophysics at Harvard University. Rodriguez and his team confirmed the TESS detection of TOI-700 d with the Spitzer telescope, and removed any remaining doubt that it is a genuine planet.

My student Gabrielle Engelmann-Suissa and I used our modeling software to figure out what type of climate might exist on planet TOI-700 d. Because we do not yet know what kind of gases this planet may actually have in its atmosphere, we use our climate models to explore possible gas combinations that would support liquid oceans on its surface. Engelmann-Suissa, with the help of my longtime collaborator Eric Wolf, tested various scenarios including the current Earth atmosphere (77% nitrogen, 21% oxygen, remaining methane and carbon dioxide), the composition of Earth’s atmosphere 2.7 billion years ago (mostly methane and carbon dioxide) and even a Martian atmosphere (a lot of carbon dioxide) as it possibly existed 3.5 billion years ago.

Based on our models, we found that if the atmosphere of planet TOI-700 d contains a combination of methane or carbon dioxide or water vapor, the planet could be habitable. Now our team needs to confirm these hypotheses with the James Webb Space Telescope.

Bacteria living in harsh conditions like this geothermal basin in Yellowstone National Park provide clues about habitable zones on other planets. 1tomm/Shutterstock.com

Strange new worlds and their climates

The climate simulations our NASA team has completed suggest that an Earth-like atmosphere and gas pressure isn’t adequate to support liquid water on its surface. If we put the same quantity of greenhouse gases as we have on Earth on TOI-700 d, the surface temperature on this planet would still be below freezing.

Our own atmosphere supports a liquid ocean on Earth now because our star is quite big and brighter than TOI-700. One thing is for sure: All of our teams’ modeling indicates that the climates of planets around small and dim stars like TOI-700 are very unlike what we see on our Earth.

The field of exoplanets is now in a transitional era from discovering them to characterizing their atmospheres. In the history of astronomy, new techniques enable new observations of the universe including surprises like the discovery of hot-Jupiters and mini-Neptunes, which have no equivalent in our solar system. The stage is now set to observe the atmospheres of these planets to see which ones have conditions that support life.

About The Author:

Ravi Kumar Kopparapu is a Research Scientist of Planetary Studies at NASA

This article is republished from our content partners over at The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. 

#science #space #astronomy #science news #exoplanets #TESS #NASA

[littledreamybeth]

My young lover

A/N: This imagine is for entertainment purposes only and has no relation to reality!! This is pure fiction and is not going to be real so be warned!! 

Summary: Y/N is too young and Harry is too old (requested)

How could a person’s beauty be so out of this world yet so real? How could a person be unimaginably gorgeous- as if they were carved by goddess Aphrodite with such perfection and without any flaws? How could someone’s character be filled with so much kindness, gentleness and purity that everybody who spoke a word with them instantly became infatuated with that person? How could someone ignite a hell of a firework inside your body by just touching you or by kissing you? And lastly, how could a person make you fall in love with them so hard that even the single thought of having to live without them makes you instantly go insane?  

Harry always wondered what he did to deserve his girlfriend whenever he spared a glance at her.

Just like now. She was peacefully sleeping beside him, giving him the opportunity to observe the sweet creature lying in his arms. The afterglow of their previous love making was attached on her. The corners of his mouth rose, forming a gentle smile. Harry lifted his hand to carefully drive his fingertips over her soft cheek. Immediate warmth engulfed them.

He had his other arm protectively draped over her small frame as if he was afraid that she would disappear into thin air should he let go. And it was the last thing he needed. Pressing a tender kiss on her forehead, he continued looking at her. His eyes reflected nothing but awe for this young beauty.

Recalling his memories, Harry found himself back at the moment they have met.

On that special morning, he remembered, he had got hold of a role for another movie. Being in the studio for years and producing music was surely something he loved from the bottom of his heart, however, he tried to be open for other things as well. So, he had decided to boost up his acting career a bit more and had auditioned for a character in a new movie. To read the script in peace and memorize his lines, he had walked into a coffee shop he had only heard good things about and that many of his friends had recommended.  

He had entered the shop and watched out for a seat somewhere in the back. There had barely been any customer at that hour for his advantage. While waiting for someone to take his order, he had flipped through the pages of the script. Until he had heard the most endearing voice his ears had been blessed with. His heart had miraculously skipped a beat to the unfamiliar new sound.

“Welcome to the Coffee Club, sir. What’s your order?”

When Harry had lifted his head up to make eye contact, his eyeballs nearly fell out of their places. Right in front of him, there was standing the most beautiful young woman he had ever seen. She seemed to recognize him too because she had looked at him as if she couldn’t believe that Harry Styles was sitting in front of her, in the coffee shop she was working at. But then, she had shot him the cutest smile ever.

“What a lovely surprise, Mr. Styles!” she had said. “It is very lovely to see you at our coffee shop!”

Harry had just nodded with his head. He had been too overwhelmed with how wonderful she looked. From the tag attached on her uniform, he could read that her name was Y/N. Beautiful name.

“Can I take your order already?”

She had taken a piece of paper and pen out of the front pocket of the bordeaux apron she was wearing and had looked at him expectantly.

Harry, hoping that he hadn’t made a fool of himself by openly staring at her, had taken a glance at the menu lying on the small table. “I’d like to have a… an Espresso.”

The young woman had noted his order. “Alright. Anything else?”

“A strawberry cheesecake would be lovely.” Why had he been so nervous while talking to her? He normally had never felt like this when he had spoken to beautiful women.

“An Espresso and a delicious strawberry cheesecake for Mr. Styles,” she had concluded before she had shot another smile at his direction and then had gone back to the front to get his order ready. Harry’s eyes had followed every step of hers until she had been out of sight. The minutes before she returned had been passing agonizingly slow. He couldn’t even concentrate on his script now that his thoughts were full of the young woman and her breathtaking smile. Speaking of love at the first sight, Harry had really believed it just happened to him.

And it had proven him right when Y/N had come back with a cup of his Espresso and a plate with his cake. His heart had beat like crazy. The young waitress had placed his coffee on the table and their fingertips had touched when Y/N had handed the small plate over to him, leaving a prickling sensation at those spots. Harry could feel his cheeks reddening and had hoped she couldn’t see it.

“There we go,” she had said. “I hope you’ll like them. If there is anything you want, please make sure to tell me. My name is Y/N by the way.” Harry was going to answer but she was already gone, leaving him a little disappointed. He had really hoped to be engaged in a conversation with her.

His wish was granted only when his cup was empty and all of his cheesecake was eaten.

“Did you enjoy?”  A sudden voice had attracted his attention. There she had been again.

“Yes, yes of course. All of these were delicious. I think this place is going to be one of my favorites from now on,” he had confessed.

“That’s a nice compliment, Mr. Styles. I’m happy to hear that. And our coffee shop would love to see you more often.”

“Please, it’s just Harry. Mr. Styles makes me feel very old.”

“Okay. May I say that you look quite young for a man who’s just hit his forties? And very handsome also,” Y/N had commented.

Harry knew he must have looked like a tomato by now. Shouldn’t the roles be reversed?

“Thanks darling. It’s good to hear that I’m still attractive despite the white strands of hair I’m having on the sides of my head.”

“No worries, they suit you.”

“You’re quite pretty yourself, Y/N,” Harry had remarked with honestly supporting his statement. Y/N laughed happily at him.

“Yeah, I hear that quite often.”

“Is that so?” the man asked, “Do guys always flirt with you?” Harry fiddled with his fingers. He wondered if she even had a boyfriend. If that was the case, then lord help him.

“Sometimes they do, but they’re not really my type, y’know?” She shrugged with her shoulders.

“What is your type then?”

“Hmm, I dunno. 40 year old attractive superstars maybe?” Okay, she tried to flirt with him, at least that’s what Harry was hoping. And it didn’t look like she was committed to someone either.

“Are you talking about me, love?”  he had grinned cheekily at her, his dimple popping to the surface.

“Maybe I do, who knows?” That girl was about to make him go crazy. “What are you reading, anyway?” She had pointed at the script.

“Oh that’s- that’s a new project of mine.”

“Are you going to star in a movie? What’s its name?” She had made an impression as if she was very excited.

“Sorry, love. It’s confidential. I can’t tell you yet.”

“That’s totally fine. I understand. But whatever it is, I can’t wait to watch it.”

“You would do that?” Curiosity was written all across his face.

“Of course, I would. I’ve seen ICarly and Dunkirk back in the days, and you were fabulous in them, so I’m exited that you give another shot to your acting abilities.”

“Wow, thank you very much. I really appreciate it.”

Their conversation led from one to another and before they knew, they had talked as much as possible and as much as Y/N’s schedule had allowed her. Their chemistry had instantly clicked. After that day, Harry found himself at the Coffee Club almost every day of the week. He had to see her, he had to get to know her- damn, he had to have her. He knew exactly that he was behaving like a sick boy in love, but he couldn’t let it go. Y/N had awakened feelings inside him he never knew he could feel. But on some days, he left the shop as soon as he entered it because his crush wasn’t there.

How funny- while many women were chasing after him, he was falling for a college student who was working as a waitress to pay her loans. She was different than any other woman he had dated, that’s for sure. She wasn’t a model or actress- she was just an ordinary girl, and Harry loved it.

They’d began to meet each other frequently, even outside the coffee shop. Whether it be breakfast at the baker’s shop or dinner at Harry’s favorite restaurant, whether it be having a walk for hours or movie nights at one of their places. Both of them knew they felt something for each other, but they had been afraid to address the elephant in the room. Their age.

Y/N was definitely too young for Harry. She was just 20 years old.

There had been times where Harry had been ashamed to gush over a college girl who was 20 years younger than him. But the more he saw her, the more he longed for her, and it had almost been impossible to resist the urge to stay away from her. She was like a drug he couldn’t take his hands from and whom he was heavily addicted to. Y/N brought him a sense of euphoria each time he had a taste of her. With her, Harry felt as if he was back in his 20s. She made him feel younger than he truly was.

The feelings had been too strong to ignore, and finally they had made Harry explode.

“I know what we have isn’t actually normal to society and I should keep myself away from you, but believe me love, I can’t. Y/N, you’re so special to me that the mere thought of not having you by my side kills me. I’ve tried to deny my feelings for you, I’ve tried to be just a friend to you, but you’ve already had my heart the first time we met. I’m an old man who is in love with you and I would do anything to call you mine. So please, will you give me a chance?”

His hands had cupped her cheeks firmly yet gently between his palms as he looked at her with vulnerability and sincerity mirrored in his eyes. Tiny snow flakes were falling from the sky down to the ground, covering everything around them in white. Just like in romantic movies, they were standing on a bridge with a large river underneath, Harry confessing his love to her and waiting for her answer. With a single reply she could either make him the happiest man on earth or crush his heart into a pile of broken pieces.

“Harry…” she had mumbled under her breath. Seeing the tears in his eyes, she could sense how much everything must’ve affected him. “This isn’t indeed very normal, but you can’t decide who you love, do you? Your heart does it for you, just as mine did for me. I see no one but you wherever I go. When I see something I like, my first instinct is to ask you what you would think about it. Every time when I go to bed and when I wake up in the morning, it’s you I think about. You’ve made me absolutely smitten with you and I would probably do the biggest mistake if I let you go. So, let’s keep it to ourselves so that we can love each other in peace.”

That had been the only confirmation that Harry had needed before he had brought their lips together and had kissed her feverishly. From that very moment, he was a taken man. But to the public, he was still single. It was extremely hard to dodge the question of whether he was in a relationship when the truth was that he had a girlfriend. Harry, sometimes, was like an open book. Especially close friends could tell when he was lying.

Harry still insisted that he hadn’t met anyone when the love bites on his neck showed otherwise. He tried to make everyone believe that those were just ‘mosquito bites’. Not the most believable excuse.

If there was anything Harry felt guilty about is to hide his relationship from his family. He would’ve loved to introduce Y/N to them and telling them that she was the reason why he was so happy like he had never been before. After one failed marriage and a couple of relationships, Harry had fear he wouldn’t find anyone who was going to be his ‘forever’ anymore. He would’ve liked to have a woman to refer to as his wife and he would’ve loved to be a father. That was his dream with Y/N. Yet, he was concerned about how his mother and sister or worse, Y/N’s parents, would react should they decide to confess that the both of them were an item. He could clearly picture the disgust displayed on Y/N’s parent’s faces and the disappointment on his mother’s normally gentle features. He could sense the anger that his girlfriend’s father would radiate and the craving to rip Harry’s off of his shoulders.

Put their families aside; he was more afraid of media and the entire world. Afraid that they would reveal his secret. Afraid of judgement and harassment just because there was a 20 year old gap existing between him and his lovely girlfriend. The media, that had been stuck to his ass since the day he had entered the industry, was already presenting him as a fuckboy who could wrap every single woman around his finger if he wanted to. Who knew how they were going to portray him in case he’d admit that he was in a stable and happy relationship with a woman who wasn’t even born when he had made his first debut? He mentally saw the headlines in front of his eyes. Written in bold letters he could read words that made his insides frigid and colder than the Antarctica could ever be. Pedophile. Sugar Daddy. Tabloids would mock him for weeks, people would create unnecessary drama over his love life. If he really chose to tell the entire globe about Y/N, then he had to expect his name to appear in everybody’s mouth. He had to expect being seen in a completely different light and being treated differently. Besides, he wouldn’t be the only one suffering- also his girlfriend’s life would be drastically affected. Harry didn’t want to put his love through this huge mess. He couldn’t bear to see her suffer. Harry had never feared anything in his 40 years of living more than the fear of his love leaving him- and if she did, then there was absolutely nothing to save him.

“You’re the only man I ever want.” she had whispered assuringly against his mouth during the steamy moment while riding him with an agonizingly yet gentle pace, their lips clinging onto each other to a passionate kiss as though their lives were dependent on their opponent to survive. Harry’s heart had nearly burst out of his chest to her blissful confession. She had meant it then, but would she even keep her word when things got serious? Would she overcome the bullying and humiliation everybody would cause because of him? He couldn’t blame her if she broke her promise. He would welcome the choice of breaking up with him with understanding. Still, he hoped from the bottom of his heart that this wasn’t going to happen.

Back to reality, Harry pushed himself closer to Y/N so that every centimeter of his body that was left untouched by hers could find their relief. He didn’t know why he had the sudden urge to cry, but the uncertainty of what the future held in store for them was unnerving.

As a tear slipped down his cheek along his nose, Y/N awakened from her sleep, opening her eyes at the right time to find her lover being in distress. She didn’t even have to ask because she knew. They had talked about it too many times.

She caught the tears with her thumbs. “Don’t cry. It’s going to be okay. We’re going to be okay.”

Harry took her hand into his, interlocking their fingers and kissing her knuckles gently.

“I’m afraid of losing you…” he whispered, his voice hoarse as if he had smoked uncountable numbers of cigarettes.

“You’re not going to lose me. You and me against the world, remember?”

“I know…But, I want you to meet my mum, you know? I can’t hide like this anymore. I feel terrible. I’ve never had any secrets that I haven’t told my mum. We always talk to each other. It’s like I’m betraying her…But on the other hand, she may be tearing us apart. Who wouldn’t?”

Her warm breath roamed his cheek, and she gave him a small peck there. “Harry, I love you… And I’m sure we’re going to find a way out of this. No matter what the outcome might be, okay? I know you worship your mum and I would love to meet her soon, too. From what you always tell me about her, she must be a very wonderful person. The same goes with Gemma. We need to find a strategy first before we make our move.” She kissed him softly.

“But now, let’s go back to sleep. Don’t fill your head with unnecessary thoughts. Tomorrow, we’ll talk about it again, alright? And see what we need to do?”

“Okay…”

Y/N untangled herself from his grip. “Come here you big boy.” 

She pointed at her chest, indicating that Harry should place his head on top of it. Harry did as he was told. Wrapping his arms around her hips, he gently attached himself back to her. The drumming of her heartbeat against his hair worked like a lullaby. Y/N started to hum a song while her fingers buried themselves into his curls. Embraced like this, they tried to find comfort in sleep, attempting to ignore the risks of their relationship.

#harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fic #harry styles writing #harry styles one shot #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles blurb #harry styles prompt #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #one direction imagines #one direction fanfiction

[duskwitch]

Lorenz Hellman Gloucester Facts

Press “J“ to skip this post. It’s gotten kinda long...

- NOBILITY™!!! Good, now that’s out of the way...

- “Eldest son of Count Gloucester”. Yes, if the wording can be trusted, there is more where he came from.

- Attended the Royal Academy of Sorcery in Fhirdiad two years ago. Fhirdiad is roughly as far away from Gloucester territory as Garreg Mach. Poor boy gets sent from one boarding school to the next by High Expectation Noble Parents.

- Starts out with an E+ rank in Reason, like Mercedes, who attended the same school. Anette, who had top grades, starts out with a D rank.

- Requires Charm and Reason for recruitment. The stat requirement reflects the quality a character respects/values in others and the skill reflects what they hope to learn from their professor.

- i.e. he cares less for your strength or skill and more for how likable you are. His A support with Byleth, where he calls them charismatic, makes that especially clear.

- The other characters who require Charm for their recruitment are Dorothea, Sylvain, Ashe and Hilda. (I’d call them the Shallow Squad, if it wasn’t for Ashe.)

- The other characters that require Reason for their recruitment are Linhardt and Sylvain. (Dude, you have a 30% in Mag growth!)

- Repeatedly denies being ”bound to his father’s will”, which really gives off the opposite impression. (It’s fine, Lorenz! I, too, keep telling myself that I don’t have to listen to my mom. And I’m considerably older.)

- Seeing how the Crest of Gloucester and the associated Relic are magic-related, you have to wonder if Lorenz wants to learn magic out of his own accord or to fulfill his parents’ expectations.

- His support with Byleth is all about “worth”. And while he talks a lot about the worth of others, he is most concerned about his own worth. (This becomes especially obvious in their S support! My poor heart!)

- Has an equal Str/Mag growth of 40%. His best stat growths are HP and Dex. Fittingly, his character-specific Combat Art is Frozen Lance. Overall, very balanced but doesn’t excel at anything. (except being a great bait due to his high HP and balanced defenses, making him highly punchable)

- Ergo, he’s trying really hard but isn’t as exceptional as he believes he should be. And he tries to cover up his insecurities by constantly talking about how great he is. He and Ferdinand are similar in that regard. However, it seems Lorenz is a little more successful in his pursuits. (except when it comes to the ladies)

- We were robbed of an A support between Lorenz and Ferdinand addressing that very issue!

- His weakest stat is Luck with a growth of 25%, which is the second-lowest Luck growth rate in the game. Characters with the same growth are Dimitri, Dedue, Bernadetta and Seteth. ... I am WORRIED about Lorenz being in that line-up! (only Lysithea, Flayn and Gilbert are “unluckier”)

- Shares his generic color scheme with Bernadetta. (...oh. Oh, no!)

- Criticizes Leonie for “thinking she could order him around“ just to let her do it anyway. Evidently, he prefers not to get into arguments if it can be avoided (even if that means doing something that he regards as “beneath him”).

- Doesn’t eat much, as noted by no less than 3 of his classmates. (Tho, I’m not sure Raphael counts.)

- Favors black tea. His favorites are Bergamot, Rose Petal Blend (DUH!) and Seiros Tea, which are the most expensive teas (that are not universally liked). fyi Bergamot is essentially Earl Grey. Black tea scented with rose petals originates from China. And Seiros Tea, with its description calling its flavor “fairly basic“ and originating from Almyra, is probably either Ceylon or Assam tea.

- Most of his preferred Tea Time topics can be summed up as: romance, pleasantries, politics and himself.

- Likes to sing. Though, isn’t necessarily good at it.

- Also enjoys dancing. And would win the the White Heron Cup no problem, according to Claude.

- Mom friend, as evident by his supports with Lysithea and Raphael. Will lecture you on your manners but will also provide any amount of tea, snacks and blankets necessary if you are unwell.

- See, this is where the phrasing in the bio confuses me! By his character, if he had any siblings he would be the doting big brother type. But then he’d at least mention his siblings.

- The texture of his 3D dialogue model has a shadow around the eyes. In his portrait these are just wrinkle lines but the 3D model makes it look like he’s wearing eyeliner. (And, personally, I think it looks really nice!)

And that concludes the Lorenz Hellman Gloucester Facts!

#fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #fe16 #lorenz hellman gloucester

[pass-the-bechdel]

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend full series review

How many episodes pass the Bechdel test?

100% (sixty-one of sixty-one).

What is the average percentage of female characters with names and lines for the full series?

43.18%

How many episodes have a cast that is at least 40% female?

Thirty-eight, so, more than half.

How many episodes have a cast that is at least 50% female?

Twenty-one, and a few of those were 60%+.

How many episodes have a cast that is less than 20% female?

One.

Positive Content Status:

Ultimately, disappointing. There are definitely good pieces in there, and bad pieces too, and by the end I mostly felt too cynical about the way most of the good pieces were handled - as perfunctory, noncommittal brownie-points grabs - to be very impressed by anything. I think the show spent more time rejecting the branches of feminism that it didn’t want to be associated with than it did celebrating any branches it did want, and at the end of the day it had less progressive commentary to make than it thought it did (average rating of 3.01).

Which season had the best representation statistics overall?

Season four, in every category but the positive content, for which it scored average.

Which season had the worst representation statistics overall?

Season two dropped the ball on the percentage of female characters, slipping below 40% for the season average (and turning in that singular episode under 20%). 

Overall Series Quality:

If only it were as consistent as its Bechdel passes - unfortunately, it’s an absolute mess. I wish I could pretend that the rollercoaster of quality was a deliberate metaphor for the experiences of the show’s lead, but the show never has a strong enough handle on itself to pull off a feat like that; Crazy-Ex Girlfriend was rife with problems from the jump, and even as it resolved one thing (ditch a bad character here, finally achieve a less confusing narrative tone there), it always managed to wander off into some new mistake. The overall gives the impression of being poorly planned, and the show never settles down with itself or its characters in order to tell a cohesive story (hence the lack of payoff on almost any character arc). It’s a shambles, and while I did variously have a good time, by the end I was glad to be rid of it.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) under the cut:

Look, it’s no secret that this show caught me at a bad time. As I have pointed out, I have been pregnant for pretty much the entire duration of the viewing experience, and due to the various ups and downs associated with that, it took me something like seven months to watch a mere sixty-one episodes. I will readily admit, this show was not a good fit for me, possibly not at all (it’s...not my usual flavour), certainly not at this particular time in my life. I haven’t been very forgiving, and while I don’t feel that I’ve been unreasonable, I will allow that under different circumstances I might have enjoyed this show more. I did enjoy it, really, more often than it feels like I did on reflection; the bad taste that the show left for me, far too often, the irritation, the boredom, and the sense of unearned superciliousness I sometimes detected in the writing, it all left a stronger impression than the good, genuine moments, the insightfulness, the laughs, and the originality. There was more in the show worth seeing than what I feel when I think back on it. It wasn’t that bad. But, at the end of the day, I still don’t think it was very good, either.

(p.s. since writing that previous paragraph, I had a baby and many weeks have passed. This is not the ideal way to review a show).

I don’t know what was going on behind the scenes on this show - what they had planned from the jump, what was off the cuff, what changed, how much time they had to incorporate change into the story, etc - and I don’t really care to know either, since we are here to consider the product that was delivered, not talk about how it came to be that way. I don’t know if a colossal lack of fore-planning is the big flaw at the heart of this show, or if it’s just that what was planned was so basic it gives the impression of being half-baked. At any rate, I think a lot of the inconsistency in tone and quality and plot movement and narrative purpose can be traced to a lack of planning; the impression I get is of a ‘wing it and see what happens!’ approach which did not work for them at all - having everything locked down from the start isn’t always a good storytelling model since it leaves no room for improvisation as the narrative develops, but grow-as-you-go doesn’t work if you don’t have a strong sense of your moving pieces and their purpose, all you get is a disconnected shambles. It does not appear to me that Crazy Ex-Girlfriend ever had an overarching plan for where it was headed, nor did it establish enough complexity in its players to pull off an unplanned narrative. I feel like a broken record and I’m not gonna harp on this any longer, but the moral here is that you don’t need to have everything figured out in a story when you start, but you do need a trajectory, and for the love of God, don’t just figure out broad strokes of who you’re taking on the ride; figure out the two-fold why. Why is this character here, and why does it matter? Too few of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’s characters had good answers (if they had any), and that’s how you end up with such lacklustre or shoe-horned character conclusions. Even Rebecca didn’t end up with a good answer to the second why?, and that’s just sad.

ANYWAY, there are frankly too many angles I could come at in how I felt this show failed, and as I said early, I don’t think it was that bad, plus I think I’ve railed at it enough that I am just repeating complaints - I told myself I should try to talk about what the show did do well, but I find I’m a little stuck on the subject; everything I liked seems to have some failing attached to it. So, I’m gonna just try and list the good stuff without equivocating - I’ll run with the idea that I already wrote the complaints part elsewhere, possibly many times over. The good things: Josh Chan was everything that a ‘perfect guy’ character should be and never normally is on anything else that plays with the concept; Rebecca’s BPD was often extremely well-handled and a lot of their best work went on doing justice to that part of the story; they brought Valencia around quite successfully to make her one of the more enjoyable characters on the show after a crappy start; Darryl’s bisexual awakening in season one was handled way better than I’ve ever seen a show handle that kind of thing; White Josh existed; Paula was a refreshing change from the usual best-friend/sidekick archetype; sometimes the show had something meaningful to say on the feminist front; Father Brah also existed; there were some great musical numbers; the show definitely offered some things I’d never seen before; Rebecca’s home decor was pleasing; there was that big crocodile plushie...ok, look. This show wasn’t for me, we all know that. I feel a little bad about the way the reviewing process went (up to and including this one) because I know I was distracted and had significant breaks between episodes/seasons way too often (and even now I am holding an upset baby and typing one-handed; it’s not conducive to good evaluation). There was definitely proper analysis that I put in the ‘I’ll get to that’ pile time and again for this show, only to forget it completely when I finally had the time to write anything up; that said, I still don’t think this show would have gone over well with me under different circumstances - better, perhaps, but not well - and that’s because it has a LOT of flaws. A lot. Fun idea, poor execution, and it’s not the baby that thinks so. It was an interesting ride and I am sorry I couldn’t appreciate the good bits better, but it’s time to go now.

#Crazy Ex-Girlfriend #full series review #Bechdel Test #female representation #Crazy Exgirlfriend

[toreadorwriter]

What Happens in the dark ch 1 moving in

Jewel's p.o.v

When I said that I wanted to live on my own, that was before I made it to LA. I had drastically changed my mind after.  L.A. was expensive as hell, but my master wanted me to stay nearby where he could reach me. Unfortunately, the Vampiric Council had found out that he was dating his ghoul and didn't approve of it, which I really don't understand why they care so much, but I also don't want to see him get into trouble. He is the Baron of Hollywood, after all, we just really can't he seen together romantically unless in private that's all. Until I decide that I want to become a vampire too, anyhow. That's when our romance can go public which I would but I’m not quite ready to give up food anytime soon. I also  don't want to give up on my only true loves Isaac, Romero, and Tacos so here i am at this big fancy...

Well..

...Almost fancy big apartment that I will be sharing with several other girls. My boyfriend Romero stopped at the new apartment to drop off all of my things before kissing me goodbye. The Vampiric Council seems unaware that Romero is romantically involved with Isaac as well, but if they do know then it's mighty unfair that they’re kicking me out  to the curb. Of all people, the Vampire Council thinks sex with ghouls is “taboo and unnatural”- says the creatures who drink the blood of the living to survive- but whatever. What's been said is done and all set in stone. maybe one day in the future human and monster will be able to live together in harmony but, until now it's best if I lay low for a while. The Nosferatu and Toreador loved to gossip like the old crones they were and that's another reason I decided I had to move out of the master's place for the time being.

Pulling up in my pink dream car, Romero helped me drag all my things along with the movers who arrived just in time. Rolling up to the new place, the door opened and I thought it was my best friend Suzi, but nope, a very beautiful goth woman with dark red hair answered the door cheerfully and her smile was so contagious, I couldn't help but smile too. She must be a Malkavian, no one is ever that cheerful after the embrace.

“Oh you must be Jewel! My name is Alysa, it's nice to meet you," the woman said while extending her hand out to greet me.  Smiling, I shook her hand.

''It's nice to meet you too, Alysa, Thanks for inviting me to live here I really appreciate it,"  I replied back, adjusting my purse on my shoulder. Alysa was just about to say something when a loud raspy cackle startled us both.

“Well if it isn't Barbie back from the Dream House!” the female Nosferatu mocked. Sashaying up to me she looked me up and down grimacing in disapproval at my outfit. Apparently, pink shorts and a lace top were forbidden in her eyes.

'' And lookie here ya even got a Gucci belt on and a pink hair ribbon with high heels. Wow, you must be Isaac's favorite little plaything…" she hissed rudely. Alysa quickly stood in between us

“She didn't mean that, Jewel …..Marie be nice!" She spat in an annoyed tone.

The Nosferatu rolled her eyes before giving us both the finger and walking away “Enjoy your new dream house 'bitch!’” she yelled back. I almost threw the pumpkin spiced drink in my hand right at her bald head. Alysa, sensing that the ghoul was really getting agitated, grabbed the other woman's hand and led her upstairs.

VV and Yukie were discussing plans for tonight when the two bumped into them.

''Hey Yukie, hey VV this is the new roomate I was telling you about, remember?"  she said cheerfully, and the others looked confused for a second before it finally hit them. ''Oh yeah, the witch....i mean necromancer... er... never mind. My name is Yukie it's really nice to meet you." the Japaneese woman said happily, shaking Jewel's hand.

“Finally, pleasant people!” the necromancer thought to herself before shaking hers back.

'' and my name is V.V.…”the other red headed vamp started before gasping “Oh my God, who did your nails?"  she asked quickly snatching the black woman's hand and admiring the pink and jewel decorated nail art on them,  making the young ghoul smile. ''Oh, Kiki from Ooo La La nails did it for me and it only cost me $40 bucks, you should definitely go to her," she recommended. The four girls chattered on and on until it was time for Alysa to show her upstairs to her room where Jewel and the movers unloaded all her belongings. After everything was unloaded, Alysa showed Jewel the rest of the apartment. The kitchen was an industrial wooden theme with old fashioned chairs and a classic looking fridge from the 1950s in that famous robin’s egg blue. The sink was polished copper and absolutely spotless. A breakfast nook sat in the corner, furnished with plush pillows and bare, antique style light bulbs were suspended from the ceiling giving the nook a warm glow.

“That's strange,” Jewel thought to herself, “the kitchen looks absolutely spotless, a little too spotless for a house packed with ghouls.” Upon opening the fridge, it was filled with blood packets of all blood types and organic food, junk food,energy drinks,soda and several types of snack food, and a leftover chinese take out box. Other than the blood in the fridge, it was a typical bachelorette diet.At that the new ghoul closed the fridge.

One the way to the bathroom, Alysa showed her the bathroom and the room next to it was Suzie's room, marked with a bright blue door, which was shut and the room was off limits for now.  Jewel was sad that her friend was off at work and not at home, but she will be back soon enough. It took a while, but the pair finally made it to the library. The house as well as the library was decorated with tons of plants of all types in several different pots and books of all literature types. From twilight, to classical vampire literature from old to new, books from all sorts of ages and dead languages, and most impressively,  books stolen from the tremere chantry itself.Jewel whistled in amazement and amusement. Upon looking at the couches littered with decorative pillows of all sorts from tacky, to plain,to glamorous, to macabre, to kawaii. It was obvious that all the housemates contributed to the decor was so odd that the ghoul couldn't help but laugh. Off to the side of the library, th last place they visited was the game room which looked like an arcade and chock full of nerd stuff, including a book shelf full of board games and dice of all shapes and sizes. Alysa gave Jewel the tour of her own room- it was a mix of gothic and nerdy with dark purple walls and black lace curtains and  a rather odd sized coffin in the middle of the room.

“Go on, open it”

Inside the coffin was a bright orange electric guitar. Alysa started to laugh hysterically.

“Don’t worry, we don’t sleep in coffins if we don’t want to. Honestly, they are not very comfortable.  But I adore coffin cases, even in life I thought it was funny.”

Looking around the rest of the room, there were Star Wars posters and a victorian era vanity covered in makeup and a little computer desk covered in textbooks and robot pieces and small statues of video game characters. There was also a couch with a bright red fuzzy blanket and a nest of pillows, this was probably where Alysa slept. It was refreshing for Jewel to see a fellow nerd who shared her same interests that this place was starting to feel like home.

The last place visited was Two's room. He just moved in yesterday, and tonight he was busy painting his room all black. He was so engrossed in painting, he didn't see them come in until Allysa knocked on his door and accidentally scared him. Upon realizing who it was, the younger ghoul stepped down from the stepladder to greet them.

'' Hey Two, sorry to bother you, but this is the new roomate I was telling you about yesterday, and her name's Jewel." Alysa piped up happily pushing the pink-clad necromancer ghoul towards him.

''It's nice n- n - nice to meet you. Damn it I stuttered."  The necromancer cursed and the other ghoul laughed.

“It's fine; no need to be embarrassed. Alysa here told me all about you. Now I'm not gonna lie dude, I got kind of scared because you know Craigslist always has creeps on it, but this is a nice surprise. Also, love the outfit, you look like a model."  He complimented and that made Jewel crack a smile.'

“Aw man, thank you so much that means a lot……" but before she could even finish what she was going to say, a loud bang from the kitchen startled all three of them. In high concern, all three supernaturals ran to go see what was happening in the kitchen.

Two and Alysa exchanged concerned glances when they entered the kitchen and saw Marie stuffing her face with the flaming hot Cheetos  that she knew damn well that belonged to Jewel and purposely ate them to get under the other's skin.

''You asshole! My boyfriend got that for me not you! And why are you eating human snacks anyway, aren’t you dead?"  Jewel asked and Marie snickered before stuffing the last chips down her grotesque throat. ''Sorry, I didn't see your name on the bag…. The nosferatu shut right up and she placed a clawed hand on her mouth.  Turning a horrible sickly green color that was not normal, especially for a Nosferatu. Pushing them out the way, Marie quickly ran into one of the unused guest bathrooms and slammed the door. Two grimaced while Alysa nervously bit her lip. Now Jewel would have felt bad for the other woman had she not been rude within the grand total of five minutes of knowing each other, but she considered this as karma. A horrible gag erupted from the nearby bathroom making her feel nauseous herself.

Jewel suddenly no longer wanted her pumpkin spice drink and set it on the granite counter .

''Um sorry about Marie, she’s not always like this. Let's get you settled in, shall we?" Two asked and the black woman nodded before leaving upstairs with the other ghoul as Alysa went over to check on Marie.

“Don’t worry about Marie, I’ll keep an eye on her” the Malkavian reassured the newest housemate.

That bathroom definitely was going to have to be cleaned with bleach tomorrow.

To be continued….

#roomates #roomate au #vamps living with ghouls #vtmb au #vtmb oc #vtmb

[okaywowcool]

 hey guys! back again for another monthly favorites post, this time for july! read below the cut to hear some of my favorite clothing pieces, new shops, trends, and makeup and skincare items that i’ve used in this past month! 

you can also check out this link to read through my past faves! 

CURRENT FAVE PERSONAL PIECES

Plus Size Grid Print Overall Mini Dress - $24.90, available in 0X - 3XL

Not too long ago I picked up a few pieces from F21 (mostly out of a Strong fear that they would be going out of stock in the near future, lol) and this was one of them. The zipper feels sturdy with the metal they used (I was worried, since this runs slightly bodycon on a non-padded, average curvy body (if you’ve not read about how plus-sized models are commonly padded out to get the “ideal” shape or “ideal” fat distribution, check out this article here by Refinery29.) and the zipper is the functional closure of the dress. The dress has zero stretch, so I was a little concerned about something flimsy that I felt like would break eventually, but so far so good. I’ve worn it with a super cute beatnik type get up out to lunch and errands with my girlfriend (black turtleneck sweater, beret, and chunky black sandals) and felt super cute, but still a little self conscious just since the more bodycon silhouette is something I’m still not super confident in wearing, which is something I’m trying to get better about. So a big recommend! I’m a size 22/24 and got a size 3XL and thought that was perfect, not too tight, but still hugging my curves in a cute way. 

Plus Size Grid Print Tie-front Shirt - $19.90, available in 0X - 3XL

I have a serious problem finding button ups that are cute on me...I have a fairly large bust but smaller shoulders and it’s hard to find something plus-sized that isn’t either totally oversized and weird looking on me fit wise, or so tight there’s massive gapping between the buttons at the biggest part of my bust. But this button up really works for me. I’m not sure if it’s the slightly relaxed cut or the fact that it’s a crop, but it’s absolutely perfect...it’s rare you buy something online and it fits exactly the same on you as it does on the model, but this did and I was so impressed! This is definitely going to be a new staple in my wardrobe, as soon as it’s not too hot to commit to long sleeves.

I ordered a few more things that I haven’t had much of a chance to style/wear yet, but everything worked this go round which is pretty rare...this was very much me that day:

Surgeon General’s Dress - $35, available in XS - 5XL

I’ve been wearing a lot of my own stuff here lately, mainly because it’s so easy to throw on and and still be bold enough for it to feel like a Look, while totally keeping me cool. This dress’s print looks super bold from a distance, but y’all would be surprised to see how long it takes people in an office setting to actually find out what the print is of, since it’s so blown up it can read as abstract. The fabrication is also really good at keeping you out of the hot hot hot hell zone, and is super cute with a breezy sheer cardigan thrown on over it! 

FAVE NEW SHOPS

Avocado Bag, $40

I want to own pretty much everything in this entire store since I found out it existed just a few weeks ago, and if I didn’t have some self restraint I would have preordered at least 3 bags from here so far. Miju Miju is a cute shop full of bags that were originally intended for use as cute, unique ita bags, but they’re also totally cute to use to display your pin collection, or even just leave plain with the empty clear window showing the cute pop of lining color. The fact that they’re convertible from a crossbody purse to a backpack also makes them a literal dream for me, since that’s pretty much the only kind of bag I like to carry. They also have a discount code running right now for the preorder, you can use BOW7 to get $7 off one of these bad boys! I know I want the avocado, egg, and pink coffin ones all sooooo bad. 

Pastel Rainbow Shooting Star Necklace - $60

Petey Hana is an etsy shop with a lot of super cute hand painted jewelry, perfect for all kinds of kawaii fashion styles and also just bold statement pieces. I’m so in love with the obviously hand made look, especially with ceramic and polymer clay jewelry, because it just feels like there’s extra love put into it. Combine that with all the bright colors and I’m just in love with this whole shop! 

Strawberry Milk Cocktail Knit Sweater - $31

I’m not sure why it took me so long to realize that the Ester Loves You collab “Ester loves Chuu” was referring to a shop’s name and not just the cute Japanese kissing sound effect....but it took me until doing that cute request for rabbit purses recently for me to figure out that Chuu was indeed, a store. This shop is adorable and has lots of unique styles in it for super affordable prices. I can’t fit into any of it myself really BUT it’s still been a big inspiration to look at their photography and see how they’re styling their pieces! 

Walk the Line Striped Dress - $78, available in US size 10 - 30

I wanted to use this cute image from Fat Girl Flow, since it was Corissa’s IG where I first saw this shop as well AND because it’s so helpful to see products on non-models. Soncy is a really cute really incredible shop. Y’all know I’m not the biggest fan of the whole Fashion Nova curve look, it just never has felt very “me,” even though it’s a staple for many other plus-sized bloggers/influencers. Soncy feels like Fashion Nova’s classy older sister who has her own very successful etsy business selling fancy leather goods--which is not at all a bad vibe...one part hippie, one part mature, and one part sexy. Still a similar style, but there’s not as much emphasis on the whole Kylie Jenner booty body-con everywhere look, and things just look higher quality...they’re more expensive, but everything in the shop is available in sizes 10 - 30 and everything is miraculously under $100, which is just awesome. 

FAVE JULY SILHOUETTES

Pier Pursuits Cropped Jumpsuit - $64.99, available in XXS - 4XL

Right now, one of the silhouettes I’m obsessed with is super wide leg jumpsuits. This one was really the first one that sparked the intense love for me, the proportions are so unique and perfect and I love that these jumpsuits are starting to show more traditional dress like necklines...this one from ASOS curve does a similar thing which I really adore. 

Front Twist Flutter Sleeve Tee - $9, 0X - 3XL

Twist front crop tees (even the ones that are just from twisting a not in a normal tee!) are just such a look for me right now. There’s something very nostalgic about them, almost like how when tying jackets around the waist was coming back as a styling choice when 90s nostalgia started going strong, that makes me just super happy and it’s a natural type of ruching that is really attractive without looking kind of dated and old. It just looks good on everyone, truly. 

PRINTS & COLORS

Fluted Sleeve Mini Dress in Ditsy Floral - $51 // Infusion Cut Out Bralette in Vintage Floral - $52 // Ditsy Floral Ruffle Jumpsuit - $40

There’s something so nice and vintage feeling about a ditsy floral print, and I’ve been wanting to create some of my own patterns that mimic this feel for a while but still haven’t quite gotten around to it. It’s just such a nice subtle way to wear florals, a print that I tend to be really picky about since they can go ugly fairly easily or run the risk of looking dated or matronly depending (and I mean dated like...2008 versus a nice vintage feel) but ditsy florals just always look so cute and nice, too subtle to ever really be offensive and easy to transition from season to season. 

Daisy Street Cami with Peplum - $24 // True Stripes A-Line Skirt - $38 // Miss Selfridge Pinafore Dress - $56

i’m also just really feeling chambray this month, especially with a subtle white pinstripe. aside from chambray just feeling really lovely to the touch (bc i’m all about those textures y’all) it’s such a lovely soft approach to denim that feels so airy and perfect for summer. 

MAKEUP/SKINCARE

LIPHOP Ombre Lip Balm - $2.59 

I bought this little lip balm for real cheap off of aliexpress a while ago, in quite a few shades since it was so cheap. I’ve found that the darker shades are by far my favorite, though they don’t look quite as dark on me as they do in the photos. It’s very similar to just putting on a little chapstick--these just add a natural little pop of color for a fresh bitten look to the center of your lips while hydrating them overall. I like that it gives that popsicle stain look without the matte feel of some similar products, like Glossier’s Generation G and Colourpop’s Blotted Lip, or the actual commitment of doing a proper ombre lip look. 

Bliss Makeup Melt Jelly Cleanser - $12

This one is actually not one I’ve gotten to try yet (it’s sitting in my cart to be purchased as soon as my current cleanser runs out) but I wanted to include it on this list anyway because I’ve been wanting to try it for a while now. It’s supposed to be a really good dupe for Glossier’s Milky Jelly Cleanser, but has a smaller price tag ($12, vs Glossier’s $18) as well as coming with more product (6.4oz vs Glossier’s 6oz). Last winter I was looking for a good cleanser that wouldn’t dry me out quite as much as my current one does. I’m currently using Tony Moly’s Peach Foam Cleanser, which I think is really lovely in a lot of ways--the foaming is fun, the smell is amazing, and it does really make you feel clean, but it dries my skin out sooooo much right now, even in the summer where I have a little more oil. It claimed to be moisturizing and gentle but I guess my skin is still just too wimpy to take it, and I’ve been looking for a change. This dupe is also rose scented, which I’m super excited about--I’ll be sure to tell you all how it is! 

so that’s it for july! look forward to seeing some of my highlights for august next month and feel free to let me know if there are any other categories you’d like me to add each month! <3 

#plus size fashion #plus size blogger #psblogger #july favorites #monthly favorites #fashion #july #kawaii #pastel #long post

[seenashblog]

Nash Watches & Rates Cheesy Hallmark & Lifetime Winter Movies So You Don’t Have To

a.k.a. -  Nash Records Her Viewings Of Hallmark & Lifetime Winter Movies, which are fanfic in visual form & are gold. And yes, it’s a apparently a legit sub-genre. Best I can tell, if it’s not Christmas or Valentines, and there’s snow, then it goes. Spoilers abound.)

Note: This adventure has been moved to here from my main blog @seenashwrite, so my SPN peeps can rest assured they’ll not be exposed to this any longer - I have a feeling I’ll not be done purging my soul for a while yet #bless my heart

As per last time during the Christmas round-ups, 4 and 5 stars mean the best of the lot, 3 stars means it’s not necessarily a waste of your time, 2 stars is up to your discretion, and 1 star means it is time you will never get back.

Winter's Dream (Kristy Hot Damn Swanson, Dean Mothafukkin' Cain - Hallmark)

With it packing this level of stardom, how can it go wrong? Understand that I can take or leave Dean Cain, but Kristy Swanson is the shit. 

The official summary/another summary from somewhere:

When a former ski champion re-enters the competitive world after a 16-year-old downhill racer asks for help, she finds a new love and reawakens an old passion.

Former pro skier, Kat, is asked to coach a younger skier, named Anna, and finds love with the girl's widowed father, Ty.

These are both kinda garbage summaries - I mean, they're accurate, but it doesn't paint the whole picture. There's nothing really to spoil, and though it hits a couple things on a winter bingo (still forthcoming), they're more the Hallmark staples, such as the kid (in this case, a really great teen gal who's a good actress) who brings people together, and that the lodge/the resort is in danger of being lost, and somebody teaches somebody else how to skate, and that shit, but the bottom line is it's a fine watch. It's not spectacular, but it's not dipped in cheese, and there's some really pretty shots of the skiing (especially something they do at the end), plus kudos for the body doubles (the ones doing the actual skiing) were spot-on, and the teen actress did an impressive end-of-run stop at one point, you know it's her because she immediately whips off her mask.

Bottom line, this movie woulda been ass if not for Swanson and Cain, who didn't have greeeeat chemistry, though they made it work. In any event, the script was solid - like I say, not a great deal of cheese and any lines that were aren't sticking out to me because they were delivered so well - so I'm actually gonna rate this one decently high.

4/5 stars

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Love on the Sidelines (this dude who's been in three movies I've seen so far, John Reardon, and some basic blonde chick who is vaguely familiar - Hallmark)

This isn’t technically a winter one, I don’t think, but it’s on, so it counts.

So they try to throw you from the get-go with "Is injured dude gonna be the love interest which is totally inappropriate since he's her boss and clearly got about 12 years on her and has made multiple patronizing comments to her, about how physically strong she is and about her classic car and about her abilities in general, or is it the other dude on the team who took an immediate interest in her and has thus far been polite and respectful and friendly and flirty?"

(By the way, main dude has cock-blocked his friend, but he has a model girlfriend [who is styled to be a stereotype from extensions to heels] and it's also shown he has no idea about stuff she likes/is into, such as her favorite flowers - but chick knew because she had 'em out for their romantic dinner. That's right, it's part of her assistant duties - and she's supposed to be helping him with activities of daily living stuff - is to prep his bone zones.)

If they make dude #2 turn out to be a douche and that main dude is somehow awesome underneath all his shit----- what am I saying, of course they are. The latter, that is. You know I'm right. Hundred percent.

People are like losing their chickens over this jersey she's tailored to be a "girl fit" - you know what I mean, it's not a box with sleeves, there's tailoring to it, so the sleeves aren't so ginormous and it's tapered on the sides. This jersey's been the topic of about three interactions thus far and we're only 40 minutes (so 30 mins airtime) in. They're all "Wow!" and "This is so creative!" and "My wife would love that, where'd you get it!"  Y'all, google for this, that type of jersey, I mean. [pause] Nevermind, here:

I put in the mystical combo of "women's NFL football jersey".

THIS IS REVOLUTIONARY

Hey, and heh-heh.... quick bonus....

WHYENNE!!!! THAT BITCH IS EVERYWHERE

But hey, how else would we know that fashion design is her passion? Scriptin' be hard, yo. Speaking of her clothes skillz - "I think there's more to him," she says to BFF, whose wedding dress she's fitting. First, *eyeroll*. Second, if your friend is trying to watch a football game and learn the basics, don't let them fit you for your farging wedding at the same time. Which is what is happening.

There's twinkly magical music when his hand runs over hers when they're both searching under the couch, feeling around for his dropped cell phone.

*more eyeroll*

I do like the car, it's a red Mustang.... early 70s, maybe?.... but I can say I don't care for the shade of red, it's a little too cherry popsicle or hooker scarlet lipstick.

(My dream car is probs a Mustang muscle in black, but as far as zoom-zooms go, I tell ya, a friend of mine had a Porsche Boxster, and What. A. Ride., and he'd offered to teach me how to drive stick on it - not a euphemism, I swear, I was 16, my dad was his mentor, he's like the child my father never had - I'M A HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT OKAY - so like my big brother, and anyhow, it was so beautiful I gasped at the very thought. But sweet babby jeebus, those suckers are smooth rides. None of this matters.)

Anyway, she keeps having trouble starting it, and I can tell by the sound it isn't the alternator, nor is it the battery, nor is it a belt, nor is she flooding the engine. I know fuck-all about cars as a general rule, but I know those sounds because I've experienced all of them. It has now gone to commercial, as he's just looked under the hood and announced after 3.8 seconds "Yup, I think I see your problem."  He must have x-ray vision. I am on pins-and-needles, shivering with anticipation.

Back from commercial, he's shutting the hood and she's saying "Wow you did it!" and wiping grease from his face. He's got an absolutely wrecked calf/ankle/foot (and straight up, they've done a good job making it all seem legit, props to... well, props... and make-up), but you're telling me he was standing and bent over long enough to get all greasy, and he's supposed to be - most of the time - either sitting or standing with that bitch elevated. This was stupid. This was a stupid, wholly unnecessary scene. Oh except we find out - because it's visible in the back seat - that she's read his children's book.

That's right. He's written a children's book.

Dude's mom: "I think he's dating the wrong type of women". Subtle, screenwriters, subtle. Now he's sneaking and working out. I really hope they show his ankle buckling out at a wicked angle. I'm gross like that. Twinkly music plays as she waits for him in the locker room while he's in with the sports trainer because he shouldn't have been working out.

Forgot to mention there's an awesome dog, this really beautiful Dane, and of course it loves her and hates Stereotype, because reasons for him to go ga-ga. She's honestly not bad, I have zero issue with the actress, nor with this actor, they're actually both good, but between the music and this script, I'm fighting over what rating to give it. (Checks clock) Welp, the next 45 minutes should tell me. It's dragging ass, I'll tell you that, though.

Like, nothing's happened. Nothing. He has an injury, she's his new personal assistant. I can list traits they each have. I've seen groups of moments. I don't know what the story is. Is it just "they get closer and fall in lurve"? That's... not a story. That's a series of facts. People meet their partners/spouses via the workplace all the time. What's the plot? What's the conflict? The obstacles? The tension? The OOMPH, I'd call it, is missing. This is what kills me about most fanfic - they just tell me stuff, they aren't showing me a new perspective or a twist or a unique take or differing interpretation that's still supported by canon, or an inventive plot that or what-the-hell-ever. Dean and Whyenne were in the bunker and they researched and they cooked and they talked about Cas and Sam, and they argued about her going on a hunt, then they kissed, the end! That's not a story, that's a daydream. I've digressed.

Now he's texted her "the emergency code" while she's at her best friend's wedding, and turns out it's because he's cranky because his sister said he's got to learn how to not be the center of attention. And she - I am proud to say - lets. Him. Have. It.  Part of what she says is - Can you do *anything* for yourself?!  And he goes - This!  And he kisses her, and it takes her off guard, but then they go for it, and I am actually happy for them.

Shit. I still hate that this isn't a story, but holy hell the difference when some conflict is introduced. Ahhhhhmazeballs. Conflict, however minor, is what shows us who these people we're watching/reading really are - and no, conflict does not mean angst, nor does it mean some sort of heart-breaking, can't-take-it-back fight, nor does it mean life-and-death, just divergent paths or opinions is all it takes. I've digressed again.

My interest is piqued because we have a half-hour to go, and typically this is how Hallmark blows their wad in the last fifteen.

[time passes]

Okay, a couple things turned out decent. Y'all will *love* what the best friend pulls at the end, and she and her hubby have been great throughout, but this one particular thing was clutch. And everybody had chemistry, family and friends and romance alike. It just can't help the lack of story, and I really detest the manner in which they made lead dude a jerk - there's other ways to do that besides going the lazy route, a.k.a. being sexist. It's not as bad as a two (a.k.a. - this is a matter of taste), because there's some objectively good stuff.... on the other hand, my lord is dragged. So I'm going with a three, because it's a toss-up as to whether you're gonna really like it, or think "Meh".

3/5 Stars

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One Winter Weekend / One Winter Proposal (Taylor Cole, some other people - Hallmark)

So the former was in last year's winter line-up, the latter in this one. Taylor Cole played Sarah Blake on SPN. I see she's also on deck for some detective thing on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries.

And.... that's all I got to say about that.

I genuinely tried to watch these. They played them back-to-back, and speaking of backs, mine was acting up so I was laid out, and I thought - all right, this'll kill some time. And I fell asleep at 6 p.m., y'all. I took ibuprofen, I was not getting liquored up, I slept plenty the night before, and I fell the fuck to sleep. These movies are boring as fuck. 

I saw no sparks, and there were two couples from which to divine said spark. The co-lead chick was incredibly annoying, she plays everything too perky, and it's really evident in scenes with her romantic interest, who is a good actor and came off completely naturally. Actually, he should've been the main-main male lead, I bet he'd have had great chemistry with Cole, who's a better actor than the dude they had her paired with, but I say all that to say, the script was... meh. The pacing of both movies was weird, and the conflicts that were in them (see above for discussion on what conflict in stories actually is) were nothingburgers. It was stupid. Don't waste your time, seriously.

1/5 stars

.

We interject for a non-review that needs to be mentioned. Oh, Lifetime. Holy shitsnacks.

Double Mommy (I... I don't know... people... - Lifetime)

This is the synopsis:

Ryan discovers his friend Bryce is the father of one of his girlfriend's twin babies and that he date raped her at a party over the summer. With college looming over Bryce's head, he will stop at nothing to make sure that he clears his name.

Because the guys' feelz are what's important, here.

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The Birthday Wish (Jessy Schram, who only acts one way and that is coked-up squirrel with blonde barrel curls - Hallmark)

This is the official summary, and it should let you know how pleased I was to watch this:

On her birthday, a woman who desperately wants her boyfriend to propose to her wishes for the opportunity to see into the future, with surprising results.

'Cause I love seeing "desperate" and "woman" in the same sentence about my main character! This was precisely what you think based on the summary - though I will say Schram doesn't play it "desperate" so that was kind've a weird word for them to use - she somehow has these premonitions (it's never explained) and the boyfriend's a dick and she ends up with her co-worker who's a great guy. The end.

1/5 stars

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Once Upon A Prince (Megan Park, who is familiar though I don't know how, and a quite charming British fellow who isn't really, he's actually from Canada by way of New York but sounds really damn convincing - Hallmark)

Also unsure this is “winter”, but it’s worth talking about. Seriously. Still, let's get the shite - and it's minor! - out of the way.

First complaint: they blew their wad in the title. Not that we don't get the scoop fairly quickly, but... welp, no we don't, the beans aren't spilled for a while - they *easily* could've skirted it, and they HAVE, it's very nicely and smoothly done, I mean, you can divine it but it's not plot anvil'd, his situation unfolds gradually across the first act, which is so refreshing. Whoever titled it was the screw-up. I'm looking at you, Hallmark execs. All their titles spoil.

Second complaint... despite the adept nature they handled main dude's backstory, there's a really bad clunker of an anvil in that first bit - we know exactly how he's gonna propose to her in the end because they shoe-horned in really abrupt and almost non-sequitur dialogue for her wherein she tells him her dream proposal not terribly long after meeting him. It was weird and awkward. I mean, the fuck. I get she was still rattled as her longtime boyfriend with whom she had both business and personal futures planned out breaking up with her in the prior scene(s), but shit. They do recover a bit by having our dude - and damn, I love him, I genuinely do - comment something to the effect of "Well oftentimes it's easier to tell a stranger things we can't tell the ones to whom we're close". My point is, they knew it was a dog of a line, but I thought of three options to get the topic out there over the course of them getting to know each other just while I’ve sat here typing this recap - hell, they revisit the damn location later, when they are friends vs. strangers! It was bad writing.

Third complaint... y'all know by now: I hate the fake made-up countries. And this one is (wait for it) Cambria. Google Cambria. Go ahead. I'll wait. [pause] Nevermind, I'll just tell you, and this isn't because I have some bizarre encyclopedic knowledge of the way-back-when in Jolly Ol', it's because - well - I'm a reformed dinosaur nerd, and that overlaps with having an understanding of geology, because fossils. There, I said it. There were charts and sketches and stuff of the various periods of dino development from National Geographics on bedroom walls. I had it bad. For the record, I loved the book Jurassic Park, and the first movie was great, and the rest are good for laughs. The last two are good for mocking. I probably would've been a paleontologist, except for when my Christian father, who at the time  I thought was the smartest man in the world (and he is objectively intelligent in many ways) told me God put the dinosaurs in the earth, that there's no way the earth is as old as science proves. (I say proves, he said claims.) 'Cause, y'know, an almighty being is totes into pranks. Ha ha. Ha ha ha. Funsies. I've digressed.

The quick-and-dirty is that the Cambrian is the geologic period that's from around 550 million years ago. (Okay this part I'll look up, because I'm so nerdy.... yup, I see it's 542-488 mil.) Anyhow, the dude that coined the name found the goods, the exemplars that proved this stage in earth history/backed up earth's age in Wales. And the area now known as Wales used to be called Cambria a way long time ago. Not millions time ago, of course. Trilobites and whatever can't speak... THAT WE KNOW OF. So I don't know if somebody was just like "Oh, that sounds like it could be a country" or somebody was being cute, thinking Cambria wasn't real, like it was something akin to Camelot, I've no idea. Who cares, it's stupid.

However.

Guys.... y'all.... my peeps.... um.... this'n is a keeper, so I'm not going to break it down and spoil it. It is very much worth watching, if you're into these types of movies, because it differs in a huge, very positive manner. Here's why this movie is above average for Hellmark: there's legitimate conflict (see above, re: what that means), and - most importantly - they are friends. They are buddies. They genuinely like each other. This isn't just about romantic love, this is about two people who care about what happens to each other. They care that the other person is living a life in  which they are happy.

There's also some realism here, not because it's an identical situation (it is not, trust) but in the broad strokes, I think of the Prince Harry-Meghan Markle situation. Middleton is uppercrust Brit stock, if memory serves (I'm not looking it up) with some sort of pseudo-distant-whatever royal line connection. She was gold for William, she's a good option for a queen (I mean, I'm sure there's duchesses out there, but that ain't who Wills loved). Now, Markle? So far from what would be called uppercrust. So, so very far. And yeah, yeah, I get that it's not as big a deal since he's not direct but more adjacent in line to the throne, but c'mon. It was a big deal. And you know all the ways why, I won't go through them here. My dude broke about a bazillion years' worth of tradition, and good on him.

And at the end of the day, that's what this movie is about - making your own way, creating your own traditions, adapting the old traditions, having confidence to do the things you're good at, the things you believe you're meant to do, and doing them the way you think is best. Is this a deep movie? No, it's fucking Hallmark, haven't you been paying attention? You think they let us escape without a super-rushed, wrap-it-up-in-the-last-five-minutes ending? You know better. I'll tell you this, though - it may not be deep, but it ain't shallow. And it's the best royal movie we've had so far, despite the too much haste with information-giving in the beginning and with the title and, as you'll find out, a really bleh last line... and of course with him being king of Fossilville. (I'm not letting that go.)

You're going to love him, he's a doll and classy and darling the entire time. You're going to love her, she's self-assured and fun and mature and hard-working. And you're really going to love John the valet. We find ourselves at ratings time and, somewhat shockingly:

5/5 stars

.

Past entries below

Winter Castle (people you’ve never heard of - Hallmark)

Holy shit, cliché on parade and nobody can act?! Jack-friggin’-pot. Zero chemistry amongst anyone, from family to friendship to romance?! Hot damn.

So they’re all at this place for a destination wedding (a.k.a, Selfish And Life-Disrupting And Huge Expense For Guests Thing And Oh Here’s Our Registry Too, come at me brah), and everyone is staying in a hotel. HA! KIDDING! They’re all in this giant faux igloo, and by “faux” I mean there are these church-esque doors in what is, I guess, a specially-flown-in iceberg on land. Google tells me it’s an actual place.

Anyway, through the doors you’ll find hallways (that have people carved into them, not creepy at all) which are lined with rooms. Suites? I never saw a bathroom door, doesn’t damn matter, nobody poos in Hallmark’s world. Oh, also, for lighting, we have Target pillar candles, then everything’s backlit in ‘80s neon:

Are they shitting me?

But that’s beside the point. Point is, it may be pretty to look at but in execution, it’s stupid. No way people haven’t had to peace out and find a new joint to stay in because of near or actual hypothermia. Based on the warm, cozy, wood-floored, windowed, staircase-and-balcony-having rehearsal dinner area in a large building with stone wall exterior, this hotel actually has some, y'know, hotel to it. Lodge? Who cares, but I bring it up because of the standard precocious child who is there to bring everybody together whilst turning into a popsicle.

The poor kid is bundled within an inch of her life, dumb bunny-eared toboggan to puffy jacket, and is burrito’d in a sleeping bag, with a quilt on this bed that looks to be carved out of ice, as well, and I say “as well” because our leading lady is shown frequently perched on what looks to be a chair carved out of ice (fur puffy thing for ass protection) with her laptop on a table carved out of ice when she’s face-timing her Not Gay Male Best Friend in a bow-tie and sweater vest back home, and - bonus! - he doubles as The One Person Of Color. Now, if memory serves, legit igloos made by actual First Nation(s) folks (meaning both Canadian and American - specifically, Alaskan - and probs any groups that found themselves in the way-way-North in the way-back-when and had to come up with this genius or, you know, die) are actually pretty damn warm once the fire gets cranking. Not to say you don’t keep some fierce socks and gloves on, that’s plain smart, but enclosed space with heat is enclosed space with heat - just don’t lick the walls. That’s good advice, igloo or otherwise.

On that topic, via the article linked above, says one of the actresses:

“It’s like an igloo,” Mullen told the Standard. “The further you go into the hotel, it gets colder and colder. As you walk down the hallway into the different rooms, it’s just getting into your bones.” She said every time they called “Cut!,” everyone would put on jackets to warm up.

She’s incorrect - that’s not like an igloo. It’s too big, that’s why it doesn’t stay warm. I have *zero* desire to go to this place. That sounds like Dante’s Frosty The Snowman circle of hell. I digress.

I say all that to say, this movie is straight dumb because the script is basic bitch, they were leaning on the location and hard. It gets a star because they tried in the sense that they did use a unique setting, but the rest was neglected (the story and the casting). Everything else was so blaaaaaand, and the acting was so stilted and unnatural, and they cast the mother with someone who looks the exact same age as the lead gal/her sister (the bride), and then there’s this one chick character who was so pathetically desperate, and the leading man was such a pussy who wouldn’t make a fucking decision, and they had our leading lady be all *sniffle* and tolerating that shit AND SHE JUST MET HIM BY THE WAY, and I just…. ugh.

1/5 stars

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Royal Matchmaker (Bethany Joy Lenz - Hallmark)

This isn’t an “official” Winter '19 jam, google tells me it’s from the '18 spring movies, but everybody’s bundled up, so I’m calling bullshit. It ain’t half-bad, despite the fact that it’s a “royal” one, who’d-a-thunk? There was one over Christmas that got a 4 (see link up top), and I never would’ve predicted it. But that was an oldie-goldie, this is now. This one has the traditional royal romance beats and, no shit, the sidekick is the same one from another “royal”, the absolutely horrid “Christmas At The Palace”, from Christmas ‘18. I cannot reiterate how bad that movie was - not ”My Christmas Love“ bad, but bad.

All right, so - she’s a matchmaker from NYC, which is at least a new take on what’s coming next - and you guessed it, a prince HAS to get married or some reason, even though it’s mentioned they are under a Parliamentary system and not a monarchy, but he still has to because it’s the 17th century, oh wait no it’s not. The king, who is from a random made-up locale (*sigh*) has hired her (and said partner) to find a suitable wife for his son, who’s presented as the typical eligible rich bachelor, and “presented as” is the key phrase. It’s one of the things I like about this plot, but it doesn’t outweigh the bleeeccchhh.

For one, it wears me out, the making-up of countries. It’s distracting. If you’re gonna do royalty, the right move is to have the royal not be a king/prince but make it a duke/duchess jam, refer to the locale vaguely as a duchy in England or Ireland or Scotland or Sweden or Norway or whatever Americans will fall for, 'cause as a rule, Americans aren’t typically hip to other countries’ jams. Hell, say someone is a prince/princess, but it’s more in inherited title only - that’s what the 4 from the Christmas list did right. Nobody called him “Prince Whatever”, he wasn’t presented as this hot commodity, it was a nothing burger, we didn’t even find out that he had the title til near the end of the movie. I’ve digressed, back to this flick.

I detest the royal garb they’ve got lead dude in at the conclusion, it looks like you or I waltzed into Party City and slapped down $30 and walked back to the set. It’s ill-tailored and in too-bright colors and is, again, something utterly distracting that could’ve been avoided, and same with the king’s, too-small jacket to too-long length of slacks. All the women, including our main gal, are in prom dresses straight off the rack from Sears and J.C. Penney’s. This is not praise. The men are all in identical rented tuxedos with clip bow-ties. Thanks, I hate it.

I mean, and I hate that there’s a ball at the end at all, but it goes hand-in-hand with the core premise, which is that they’re on a tight schedule - ol’ Bethany has 4 weeks. They, of course, fall in love with one another, and props to casting because these two look good together and have decent chemistry, but that could be because Lenz knocks these movies out of the park - this is the third… maybe the fourth… that I’ve seen with her - she elevates everything she’s in. When I mentioned her to a friend, I was told she also elevated some shitty TV show that I never watched, so perhaps you are already familiar with her.

Anyhow, once again there’s too much filler and the ending draaaaaaags and then BOOM it’s done in the last three minutes, which is standard for these movies (both Lifetime and Hallmark), I’d say, about 95% of the time. The story was good in that the prince wasn’t a typical playboy and he kept his philanthropic side a secret because he didn’t want press invading these small villages and whatever he was helping rebuild - he genuinely likes getting his hands dirty and he actually knows how to do shit, he fixes a radiator at a community center at one point. Eh. I dunno. It had such potential in the front half, then just shit the bed in the back half, so it was half of a waste of my time. But you may dig it. It’s far from the worst of Hallmark’s offerings but, again, I think it’s because of Lenz, she’s the only thing getting it up from a 1/5.

2/5 stars

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Oh… oh mah… what the… we interrupt the winter fare for what looks like a rando that’s snuck in and christ on a cracker, no. No. No. NO. The summary:

A woman begins an online relationship with a famous photographer, not realizing that she is actually communicating with the man’s young son.

This caught my ear because as I was sitting here writing up the last movie, it came on, and I hear this woman’s voice, her typing (so it’s her voice in her mind), then a man’s voice (as she’s reading), and I looked up when the man’s voice started switching to a kid’s (boy’s) voice back and forth every sentence or so - and then I looked at that summary, and….

NO

"Chance at Romance”, it’s called –> 0/5 stars, I don’t even need to watch it, what a stupid garbage fucking premise, and it’s gross, and I hope that shit kid gets punished, like as in, no computer til he’s old enough to own his own home and pay for his own internet, because scumbag kid. If he has the balls to pull this catfishing shitstorm on a fucking adult and gets away with it, what the fuck will he do to manipulate girls his own age? Gross. IT’S A GROSS PREMISE YOU GREETING CARD FUCKTARDS

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Love On Ice (Andrew Walker, who’s in every fourth movie, and  the lead chick’s familiar her name is Julie Berman - Hallmark)

Former pro skater, now teaching - don’t worry, it’s not the aforementioned “Christmas At The Palace”, despite the similar M.O. - and decides to go for one last run at regionals because the new coach in town who’s teaching the next big thing is like “You used to be the next big thing, why don’t you undo eight years of not training aggressively in, like, a couple weeks and compete against the girl I’ve been hired to make a winner, and I’ll coach you both, because I have a boner for you and your shitty blonde extensions! No, that’s not what he says, but that’s the deal, yo. The next-big-thing’s got an overbearing mother and, once his boner gets found out, here comes a new coach that used to be the former-next-big-thing’s coach, and she’s a horrible actress, she can’t play sneaky-evil to save her life. I liked the two leads, and they did a better job than the other ice skating scenes/movies with concealing the real skater actors, but overall this was as boring as watching paint dry, I just wanted it to be over.

1/5 stars

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The Perfect Catch (Nikki DeLoach and… shock of all shocks, no not really… our old buddy, Andrew Walker - Hallmark)

I swear, I don’t know if Andrew Walker is on some mission from god, or being punished by him. I’m in the same boat, so I empathize. At least I’m not contracted. I can’t speak for him, but I remain happy for DHJ, that he’s escaped this purgatory, and is safe on the shore… at least, at present.

In any event, this one doesn’t seem like a "Winter official”, but there were jackets and no definite spring or fall standards (pastels or orange leaves), and it’s airing now, so here we are. It seems to be baseball season, so I know they mean for it to be spring, but they are wearing coat-coats, not it’s-still-kinda-chilly light jackets. I don’t fucking care, I watched it, so I’m reporting on it.

It ticks many boxes on the Winter Fanfic Bingo card (forthcoming), specifically the ones that are carryovers from Christmas and will be carried over to all the Hallmark/Lifetime movies regardless of time of year. Because being formulaic, when playing the long game, is cheap and efficient, and in the restaurant business, or products made on a factory line, or in healthcare standards, things of that ilk, you want streamlined coupled with the trieds-and-trues. In writing? Not-so-much. It’s lazy.

And speaking of restaurants, that’s the first box that got ticked - our leading lady owns a restaurant and, next box, it’s in danger of being lost. Other boxes include: our leading man is famous; he’s the character that comes back home, leaves/might leave, then changes mine/comes back, and it’s to stay!; adorable child who ideally will bring everyone together; a character’s parents are dead. Blah-blah. Blah-blah-blah. Blah-blaaaaah-blah-bleh. <—- that had more variety than this flick. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with this movie. It’s vanilla. It’s white bread. It’s mashed potatoes with no salt or a touch of sour cream mixed in, no loading with shredded sharp cheese and crumbled brown sugar-and-cracked-pepper bacon and the barest touch of chives. I’m hungry, shut up.

It doesn’t just get 1 star because it’s not bottom barrel - everyone’s competent in their acting, there’s nothing outlandishly stupid about the script, it’s not shellacked in Velveeta. I will say that they pull a little teensy, micro-twist with how they resolve his balancing a primo offer that in no way should he pass on career-wise fairly realistically. The very last scene is, of course, stupid and embarrassing.

2/5 stars

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The next movie has palm trees, so officially not Winter. But oof…. it’s got Kelly Rutherford and Cameron Mathison, both of whom are ringers. Hmmm. Yeah, I still ain’t subjecting myself to more than needed for this adventure. Oh, and they continue to play the basic-basic-BAAAAASIC-boring “Hope At Christmas” on Hallmark Movies and Mysteries", if you’re interested. It is a mystery to me as to why they continue to do so. Anyhow, there’s apparently 3 or 4 more brand spanking new offerings from Hallmark for the next several weeks.

More to come. I’ll reblog this with every new entry added to the top, so you can always just keep this post URL bookmarked if you think you missed it. Send an ask if you want to be tagged.

#Nash Watches And Rates #Cheesy Winter Movies #so you don't have to #Cheesy Movie Talk

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Tristan Oliver Q&A.

“We have had far more problems shooting on a 5D than we ever did on film. The sheer absurdity of the throwaway society and obsolescence leaves a bad taste in the mouth.”

Cinematographer Tristan Oliver takes us behind the scenes of the Wallace & Gromit train-chase scene, a flood on Isle of Dogs, and the time he acted with Colin Firth, Rupert Everett and Cary Elwes in 80s British romance Another Country.

Oliver was the man behind many of the cameras on stop motion films including Isle of Dogs, Fantastic Mr. Fox, Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit, ParaNorman and Chicken Run. He also filmed the Academy Award-nominated Loving Vincent.

We asked him some of your questions and some of our own (but we did not ask him “what is Wes Anderson like?”—read on to find out why).

Several Letterboxd members (including ReiJr, Curtis and Nicolas Inard) want to know what drew you to animation cinematography over live action, and what makes it interesting for you?

Well, obviously it’s a ridiculous way to make a living by any definition and I don’t think I ever really, actively wanted to do it. I just kind of fell into it. I was shooting some pop promos for friends and needed to borrow some lights and I knew a couple of people at Aardman—at that time it was literally a couple of dozen people. They said “Oh great, what are you doing next week?”

It was so great—they never used to schedule anything. They just used to ask you in and you’d stay until the job finished a few weeks later. So I stayed as a freelancer with them for a very long time. At the same time, I had a child, so I needed some regular income. I stuck at it at Aardman and I was good at it and they liked me.

It was an exciting time inasmuch as they were reinventing the entire look of stop-frame [animation], because stop-frame really was kids’ TV up until that time—it was super quick and rough and very crudely photographed. Big, soft lights and go home and forget about it. So what we started to do was create a very cinematic look for it, and make it into a much bigger canvas and bigger screen. Our driving motivation was that we made no concession at all to the fact that it was animation, we just tried to make it look nice.

[Animation] was a genre that was neglectful of its cinematography, and even now, I meet animators who don’t really care about it. It’s all about puppets as far as they’re concerned, and I think generally anyone watching the films doesn’t really care about cinematography. It’s the Cinderella department. People are all over the props and puppets.

Immediately getting a little more technical, how does one pull off a rack focus with moving stop motion elements in the shot? —Gina

That’s very interesting because of course stop motion isn’t moving. It’s entirely static until you move it. So a rack focus is just broken down into as many frames as you want it to take place over. So if it’s a twelve-frame or an eight-frame rack focus, in one way you can put a piece of tape over the lens and you move it one notch each frame. Or, we use a motion control computer to do it, which we do these days because it’s much smoother. The animator will press a button, the camera takes a frame, the motion control computer moves—and the animation software will trigger what needs to be triggered.

Although the camera move is conceived in real time, you know, A-to-B, if it takes four seconds you can run it at four seconds or you can run it at a frame a time—now move your puppet and off it goes. So the puppet follows the camera, as it were.

Motion control is one of the things that really liberated us. When we were setting up Chicken Run, that was suddenly a film that needed to play out on a cinema screen rather than a television screen, and moving the camera through space was one of the ways to expand that space. We kind of take it for granted that we can do that now.

Cinematographer Tristan Oliver on set

I was wondering how different lighting a set for a stop motion film is compared to a live-action film and maybe what some challenges of lighting a stop-motion film are? Thanks, I love your work! —Ben

Thank you Ben! Well. I would say that aesthetically there should be no difference because, coming back to my original point, one’s aim should be to make something look beautiful and not really concede in any way to the fact that you are shooting animation.

But there are some issues. Primarily of course the size of what you’re shooting—and this means that relative to the characters you’re shooting, the camera is very, very large. The camera is kind of the size of a small car inside a domestic environment. It’s normally as tall as the character, so you do have issues lighting the character without the camera getting in way. You also have enormous issues with depth of focus because normally we are working right up to the minimum [focal point] of the lens. So to get stuff looking natural, you have to work at a very tiny aperture to get the depth of field that you’d find acceptable in live action.

A puppet’s head might only be the size of the top of my thumb and if I focus on its eye I might find that its nose and ears are unacceptably out of focus. So we are really asking the lenses to do something they were never really designed to do well, which is to work at tiny stops. Most lenses are optimized around ƒ/4, ƒ/5, ƒ/6 and we typically use them around ƒ/14. We really do beat them into submission.

The other issue is heat, of course. We don’t want to be cooking the animators or the puppets or the environments. Luckily, we don’t need a huge amount of intensity with light because we can vary our shutter speed, because we are taking shots one frame at a time. But we do need to keep sets comfortable. We do occasionally use large lights—especially if we’re shooting daylight exteriors—because you very quickly give away that they’re models [if] the shadows fan out, and real shadows don’t do that. They remain parallel, or “coherent” as we call it.

Has LED lighting changed DOP work for stop motion? —Tim

Yes, LED has in many ways transformed our world. The reason being that it’s very tiny so you can hide it and it’s very cool so it doesn’t produce any heat, and also you can dim it without the colour changing.

As an example, on Isle of Dogs we have a large theater set which is all painted with red and black lacquer in the Japanese style and it is lit by paper lanterns (which are actually made out of painted resin). Each of those lanterns contains a very small incandescent bulb, so when you dim those the colour gets very warm and orange. But then we have other [LED] fixtures in that environment and they can be dimmed right down but their colour doesn’t change, so you can keep a very dim but pure light point and that makes the warm stuff read warmer. It’s all about showing the eye where the light is. LEDs just have that purity of colour which doesn’t change with intensity.

And the other thing I wanted to say is the main difference is the sheer number of units we’re shooting on. We typically run between 40 and 50 units, and I’m having to be across all of those in terms of how the film looks. So I’m personally hands-on lighting a lot of those but I can’t do all of them. I have a couple of other guys who help me out and they work to my brief so that it looks like one person did it.

It is a huge, very busy environment in a very large stage with a lot of people running around. I think people’s impression of animation is a very ponderous, dull thing but actually, although it takes a long time, they’re working as quickly as they can. And they’re all working on their own.

Wes Anderson with his Isle of Dogs cast

What type of personality do you think you need to work in stop motion? There’s a stereotype that you must have to be very patient, but the reality is quite different?

I think the idea of “patience” is... I don’t even know where that comes from. That is what we call one of the “top five questions”. That, along with “tell us what is one of the most difficult things you had to do on the film” and “what is Wes Anderson like?”.

I don’t know what anyone’s being patient about, really. Where’s the patience? An animator is animating. He (or she) is working as fast as he possibly can, doing a very complicated performance through the medium of a puppet. So he is undergoing a degree of concentration it would be impossible to imagine and around him sets are being built, painted, lit, set up.

In all respects it is exactly like a live action department—it’s very busy, there is no downtime. So this concept of patience is entirely erroneous. What you actually need is stamina. Not patience. Because this is five or six days a week, 60-hour weeks for two years. And it’s intensely busy. Because of the length of time it takes to shoot, we’re in a rolling process of pre-production even when we’re in production. People are constantly losing their temper and constantly screaming and running out of the studio. To think there’s some kind of monkish, trappist environment… [shakes head].

Which villain did you find more terrifying from the films you worked on? —Manny

They’re not that scary are they, because they’re puppets, but I guess the best villain is Feathers McGraw from The Wrong Trousers, because it’s a penguin and it never speaks, and yet it has a sense of menace to it that is so thorough. It hasn’t even got pupils! It does occasionally blink but it mostly just sits there and... looks. It’s amazing how well it works.

What is it about penguins in animation? There are so many… Surf’s Up. Madagascar. Pingu…

Feathers McGraw and Wallace in Aardman Animation’s The Wrong Trousers

When stop motion films were first shot digitally, sensor noise was an issue that sometimes led to ‘crawling’ artefacts between frames. Has this been mitigated in newer camera hardware, or is it something you still need to watch out for? —Matthew

Do you know what? I read that question and I thought “I have no idea what you’re talking about!” I’m completely unaware of this as an issue. The only film I think that may have been an issue on was Corpse Bride. We did have issues with the 5D which was used as the default animation camera for about ten years. But those issues were to do with the chip heating up and causing fluctuations with the density and the contrast. But the camera I used for Isle of Dogs and also Aardman used for Early Man, which is the Canon 1D X, was pretty damn good. Pretty stable. So it’s kind of ironed out. I mean, you know, no camera on earth is designed to shoot stop-motion animation. I mean why would it be? So we’re always looking for the next camera.

I know that Pete Kozachik is an extreme fan of 30- to 40-second shutter speeds, which is frankly ludicrous. That may have resulted in excessive sensor noise, but that’s more to do with the shutter speed.

How do you handle having to start an insanely complex shot again after an error?

That’s a very interesting question and I’ll tell you why: because the only reason that we reshoot is if there’s an animation problem. Because nothing gets shot until everything is right. So everything is tested. The lighting, the motion control, set dressing, everything is run in front of the director to the point where they say yes, good to go.

The reason is: you can’t ask an animator to reshoot a shot if they’ve done nothing wrong because you’ve cocked it up. So only animation issues are reshot. And from that point of view, it doesn’t bother me in the least, because I just go in and make sure they’re good to go, and they just go again. It’s their loss of time, not my loss of time. They’re normally quite okay about it. Most animators don’t mind having a second go because it does give them the opportunity to improve.

If there’s a catastrophic tech error on the other hand… We did have a flood on Isle of Dogs. We had a massive hole in the roof and a torrential thunderstorm and we lost some stuff in that way. So that becomes an Act of God, a force majeure, and you just have to get on with it.

But also we do monitor what’s going on, so I tend to pop in and just make sure the animators are okay and do my daily rounds. If I see an animator has unwittingly missed a focus point or position because they hadn’t been concentrating, I would inform the first [assistant director] and say “we need to restart this shot”. But because of the critical mass of shooting on 40 to 50 units, if you have an issue, it’s not really an issue. It can be frustrating, that’s all.

Gromit and friends in Curse of the Were-Rabbit

What, if anything, do you miss about the 35mm Chicken Run and Curse of the Were-Rabbit days?

There are things I miss about 35mm days. The structure of the day is far more coherent when you’re shooting on film, because you start your day looking at the rushes, looking at the dailies, then you go into the edit suite and you look at that material cut in, and then you go to the studio floor and address what needs addressing. Whereas when shooting digitally, every time someone finishes a shot you all have to go and look at it, get them turned over, and so on.

There is also far less downtime for animators and bizarrely I think they suffer from that because the process of sitting down and discussing shots and comparing notes is over. The experience of sitting in a green room and getting into a conversation with two or three old silverbacks of the industry is gone really.

The other thing is it’s no quicker shooting digitally. We shot Chicken Run in 78 weeks and we shot Isle of Dogs in 86 weeks, so it actually took longer.

A problem you get with digital is you suddenly have far too much choice. We would do everything in-camera on film. We would use painted backdrops for skies. Everything would be shot into camera, and now of course you can just shoot green screen and decide what your background’s going to look like later.

You’re giving yourself way too much choice because you can. So the amount of creative decision-making is thrown to the end of the movie. That seems like liberation but in fact it’s just putting off what could otherwise be a perfectly reasonable decision. And I think living with what you’ve done isn’t a bad way of working.

And the other thing—which has nothing to do with the practicalities of shooting—which appals me, is that every time we do a movie you have to buy new cameras, because they wear out, so they have a life, and they always stop manufacturing the damn things.

Halfway through Isle of Dogs they stopped making the camera we were shooting on! We had 50 and we had to find another 30 and we had to scour the world for them because Canon was no longer manufacturing them.

Whereas at Aardman, I could take a camera off the shelf that was made in 1928 and I’d know that I was using a piece of 70- or 80-year-old technology that was just going to keep going. We did not lose a shot on Curse of the Were-Rabbit or Chicken Run to a camera problem.

We have had far more problems shooting on a 5D than we ever did on film. The sheer absurdity of the throwaway society and obsolescence leaves a bad taste in the mouth. That at the beginning of every movie you have to spend $300,000–400,000 on new cameras.

At the end all those cameras are [sold on] eBay. The sheer fact of having to put all those cameras on eBay is absurd.

The famous train-chase scene in The Wrong Trousers

Can you tell us any good stories about the train-chase scene in The Wrong Trousers? (Emma guesses it must be the most challenging scene you’ve ever worked on, and there’s no doubt it is one of the best action scenes in a film, ever.)

Ha! Do you know how long ago that was? My daughter Sally was born the second week of shooting The Wrong Trousers and she’s just had her 26th birthday. However, I can tell you exactly about the train chase because it was a lot of fun, that particular segment.

So what you have, of course, is you have this chase that appears to take place in an infinitely huge environment, because the train is moving. We did some crude math and decided the train would be moving at 50mph if it was scaled up. So we did some tests and it looked really slow. So we just kept going up and up and up. And in fact it’s now moving at about 200mph scale-to-scale.

It’s tiny, absolutely minute, the train. We devised this method for shooting where you never see both ends of the train at the same time, so it’s either being pushed or it’s being pulled. It’s attached to the camera, [which is] on a crane hanging over the set. And the camera either had a rod that was pushing or a thread that was pulling. There is no motion control at all.

Laid on the floor is a tape measure and a pointer pointing at the tape measure. We’d hit the camera button—it had a two-second exposure—and we’d push the train 10cm [3.9in] along the track. So it’s moving at 10cm a frame. That’s a lot of distance to cover. And as the train is pulled or pushed, its wheels naturally go around on the track, so it self-animates its own spinning wheels as it goes along.

And we had a set that was a sort of long living room. It was Wallace’s living room but stretched, so it was about five meters long. At one end there was this huge sofa and the camera would go along following the train and it would go behind the sofa and as soon as it moved we’d pick the sofa up and take it down the other end of the set and the camera would move around the sofa and the train would keep going again.

And then when the penguin flies through the air, we actually mounted a sheet of glass in front of the camera—a big sheet of glass so you could see the set through it—and then the penguin was animated across that sheet of glass from right to left. So it looked like it was flying through the air, but the camera was still moving—everything was moving at 10cm a frame—so that’s 2.4 meters per second on double-0 gauge (if you know anything about trains). If you scale that up you’re moving at a hell of a lick!

So the penguin is stuck to the sheet of glass each time he is moved?

He’s had his back sliced off him so he’s like half a penguin, a bas-relief, if you like.

Then there are two other bits on that sequence. (It’s a very big sequence, obviously, there’s a lot to tell!) One is when the train goes around the corner. So for that I built this tiny dolly, which was a wedge of timber with four furniture casters on it and a massive Mitchell camera mounted on top of it. The track went under the camera, and I actually knelt on the set and hand dollied it round the bend.

I thought “this is fantastic!”. But when we actually shot it, what I had completely neglected to register is that as you hit the button the shutter goes around and it completely obscures the eye-piece—so I did it blind, really.

And the other shot is where the camera goes under the table. I can’t actually remember how we did that. I think we had a table that just broke away. But it’s all in-camera. There are no special effects at all.

We had a crew of six on that film. And only 150 shots in the whole movie. It’s amazing. The camera just sits there and watches what’s going on. It doesn’t cut, cut, cut. The camera sits there and you watch the whole sequence of penguin looking up at museum and all the other scenes.

Wes Anderson’s Isle of Dogs

Did you have a favorite moment on Isle of Dogs?

[Laughing] The last day! There are certain bits of Isle of Dogs that I greatly enjoyed bringing to the screen, but overall it was a slog. Working with a director who is an auteur gives you far less scope to exercise your own creative imagination, so you become reactive rather than proactive. That can be frustrating. That isn’t saying that the film isn’t fabulous and everyone will love it, but in terms of saying I loved that and I did that, it isn’t really my work. It’s something that I “enabled”, if you will.

There are some things that give you a degree of satisfaction. The problem with these movies is they are vast machines that roll on, so the intense personal satisfaction that I used to derive from shooting stuff like The Wrong Trousers is kinda lacking, because it’s such a huge thing.

I had a lot of fun shooting ParaNorman. By my own admission, I think I made a really, really good job of it and I think it looks fantastic. I enjoyed the directors, I enjoyed working at Laika. It was great.

What are five films you love for their cinematography?

I love Conrad Hall so I would always have Road to Perdition, his last movie, which I think is absolutely stunning. The beauty of shooting that film, dying and then getting a posthumous Academy Award is fantastic.

Seamus McGarvey is a great talent and I think Atonement is a beautiful looking film.

Casablanca is absolutely beautiful in black and white. That’s an astonishing looking movie. God, absolutely stunning.

I just think the standard of cinematography is so high at the moment. Production values just generally are so much better than they were 20 years ago—you can see a lot of bad movies but they’re very rarely badly shot.

The latest Blade Runner is fantastic. I’m so glad Roger [Deakins] won an award for that. Revolutionary Road, he did a fantastic job on that as well.

Any women cinematographers you have an eye on?

I realise that’s a prod, but Mudbound is a very handsome looking movie. I think [Rachel Morrison] did a fantastic job on Mudbound. Ask me in another ten years and I’m sure I’ll have many more names.

Did you ever meet Roger Deakins?

No, never. I met Jack Cardiff a couple of times, in his 90s. He was very twinkly. He’s a very naughty man—I think he had sex with nearly every leading woman that he worked with, which given that he is about five foot four is astonishing. He wrote a fantastic book called Magic Hour which has some absolutely awesome anecdotes in it. It’s well worth a read.

Could you have imagined in your wildest dreams that you’d spend a quarter of a century working in this field?

Tristan Oliver on set

My wildest dreams? Like some hideous nightmare! I mean, “no” is the answer. I think I’ve always kind of felt that I would be getting out of it at some point. You very rapidly become pigeonholed in this business. Because it’s what I do, it’s what I get asked to do. People are ludicrously conservative about this.

A case in point is Loving Vincent. The reason I got that job was because I knew about animation. But I actually shot a 90-minute, single-camera, live-action movie with a dolly, cranes, the works, in 16 days, which is pretty good going for a 90-minute movie. Then someone took it away and whilst I was shooting Isle of Dogs they painted all over it!

But isn’t it weird that I got the job because I knew about animation? That’s what the business is like—a crazy, slightly blinkered view. But all my films get seen by a lot of people. They’re proper big movies, they go all over the world.

What memories spring to mind when you think about Another Country all these years later? It must feel like another life.

Ha! 35 years later. The thing about that movie is that’s kind of what made me do what I do today. I didn’t really know anything about films until I did that movie, and I became very friendly with the camera crew [director of photography Peter Biziou, who later won an Academy Award for Mississippi Burning, and camera operator David Garfath, who also worked on The Empire Strikes Back]. I was really interested in it.

At secondary school I had done my exams in physics, biology and chemistry so I had a technical knowledge. I absolutely adored acting. I really, really, really enjoyed acting, but it just never happened for me. I had at one point to make a decision about whether I was going to live in a tiny flat by the seaside and do a couple of commercials and a pantomime every year and end up in a blazer and cravat, or do something that would make me a living. So I did spend a couple of schizophrenic years being a clapper loader and an actor, then I went to film school.

But my memories of that film are very intense and very fond. I mean, that was a real eye-opener for me. I’d never been in that environment before, surrounded by those sorts of people doing that job. It was deeply affecting. I think it damaged me for about five years. Although it was only a few weeks of my life, I then had to go back and finish my degree and the phone never rang. Everyone was interested in Rupert [Everett] and Colin [Firth], or Cary [Elwes]. Although only Colin really became a superstar.

In hindsight I’d have got myself a publicity agent and gone out there and sold myself. So I do this now. I lead a life of anonymity.

Look at an animated feature: in terms of awards, all it’ll be up for is best animated feature. The Annies don’t ever have a category for cinematography, and they have a category for everything, even an award for the floor sweeper! I wrote to them and asked them in the nicest possible way, why don’t you have a category for cinematography? And they went, ‘Oh it’s far too expensive to introduce new categories’. Then a year later they introduced two new categories. It’s absolutely absurd. We go very unconsidered in this world. Trying to gain membership of any professional organisation is impossible.

I’ve shot six movies and every one has been nominated or won an Academy Award. And I’ve shot short movies that have won or been nominated. They just go, ‘Yeah, it’s animation though isn’t it’.

Well, what keeps getting you up in the morning, in terms of what you do?What do you think is the role of storytellers such as yourself and the teams you work with in our society?

Stories are what separate us from the beasts. We are the only animal capable of projecting abstract thoughts into the future or into the past and drawing analogies in that way. I think it’s what makes us human: the ability to tell stories. There’s no anything without story. People ask me what makes a great movie and I go “the script”.

People love to watch people acting stuff out. It’s peculiar. It’s not something that any other animal does. It’s very deep within us, this need to tell stories. In fact they’ve now decided that the way these neolithic cave illustrations have been structured, with animals with multiple legs, is because when they were lit by candlelight it gave the impression of running. As the candlelight flickered, these things galloped. It’s all about story.

Finally, tell us why we ought to visit Bristol, the home of Aardman Animation?

Why would one visit Bristol?! Well, it has a thriving arts and animation scene. It’s a little bit laid-back. It’s rather like Portland in that respect. If you were in the UK and you wanted a day out I’m sure it’s right up there with Bath. It’s next door to Bath so you could probably do both in a weekend. But the thing about Bristol is it’s so nice, it’s so comfortable, that people used to go there and never leave.

I’ve experienced this many times because when I was crewing up Fantastic Mr. Fox—and indeed Isle of Dogs—I asked some of my old crew from Aardman to come and work with me. And they were all incredibly reluctant and it’s only 110 miles away! They were happier to be unemployed in Bristol than come to London, which terrifies them because there’s too many people there. Portland is where young people to go to retire and Bristol is the graveyard of ambition.

Our thanks to Tristan Oliver for his time and energy and to Fox for arranging the interview. See the accompanying list of favorite cinematographers and the questions thread.

#aardman #chicken run #isle of dogs #wes anderson #cinematography #cinematografia #animation #stop motion #claymation #wallace and gromit #letterboxd

[ashxpad]

Shooting with a 21-Year-Old Camera: The Fujifilm S1 Pro

I find it incredibly fun to use older, especially unique, digital cameras both as a challenge and for sheer enjoyment.

I think part of it is psychological. With archaic cameras sporting outdated technology we anticipate subpar results, and so we focus more on what we can control: composition, lighting (when applicable), exposure, and so on — the things we should always be focusing on.

Conversely, when we have a Hasselblad in our hands, we may let go a bit in the unconscious belief that the camera can make up the difference for our lack of talent or effort. Of course, we all know it can’t.

I won’t get into the boring history of why I own a lot of early to mid-2000s digital cameras, but at some point, I found myself the owner of a Fujifilm Finepix S1 Pro — the first in a five-model line of Fujifilm DSLRs that housed some incredibly unique sensor technology that it dubbed “SuperCCD.”

Apologies for the subpar product photos. I didn’t have access to my full setup.

In the S1 Pro, the photodiodes of the 3.1-megapixel SuperCCD sensor took the form of a honeycomb tessellation, oriented in a zig-zag array rather than a simple vertical/horizontal mosaic. Because of this, the distance between cells is smaller, making for about 40% more (square root of 2 = 1.41) sensor cell rows horizontally and vertically than a regular Bayer sensor.

The camera then uses an interpolation algorithm that supposedly results in a resolution equivalent to a 6.2 megapixel Bayer sensor. The 45-degree orientation also allows for improved capture of horizontal and vertical detail. This is good because most of the world, thanks to gravity, exists in horizontal and vertical planes — however, this happens at the expense of diagonal resolution, which is where traditional sensor layouts excel.

The honeycomb design of the SuperCCD sensors.

Released in January 2000, the Fujifilm S1 Pro is based on the Nikon N60 (aka F60) film camera body (with modifications by Fuji). It logically sports a Nikon F mount and can use AI, AI-S, AI-P, AF, AF-D, or G type lens — however, only AF and AF-D lenses will autofocus. AI and AI-S lenses can only be used in manual exposure mode as there is no meter coupling.

Most of these photos were shot with either the Nikon AF-D 24-120/3.5-5.6 or Nikon AF-D 50/1.8. While the 24-120 is not a quality optic, it’s a more than sufficient match for this sensor, especially stopped down a bit — and you can stop down to your heart’s content without hitting diffraction on this camera.

I had initially gone out shooting with some superior G-type lenses, however, accurate manual focusing is impossible for me through the straw-like OVF (wearing glasses doesn’t help either) and the focus confirmation dot is totally unreliable. Strangely, I had more issues manually focusing on distant objects stopped down than closer ones wide open — the photo above was manually focused with the Sigma Art 35mm wide open at f/1.4, yet the below photo (slightly out of focus) was at 24mm and f/8 with the Nikon 24-120mm f/4G VR.

Shutter speeds top out at 1/2000th. There are several metering modes (3D 6-zone, 6-zone, center-weight), a pop-up flash and hot-shoe (Nikon TTL compatible), and ISO options of 320, 400, 800, and 1600. There is no auto ISO function, and you have to menu dive each time you want to adjust it.

File choices are JPEG or TIFF only — no RAW, unfortunately — recorded to either CompactFlash or SmartMedia. The camera certainly did not accept my 64 or 128GB cards, but I was able to dig up an old 1GB card that can hold a whopping 56 TIFF files in the highest quality mode available (“Hi RGB TIFF”).

This is easily the slowest camera I have ever used. The menu is the antithesis of intuitive; it’s mostly just a collection of symbols and abbreviations and my hat is off to you if you can guess their meaning without reading the manual.

Forget chimping. Just murder that idea and bury it. It takes a solid 31 seconds (yes, I timed it) for an image to populate the screen. Once it does, just about the only thing you can confirm is that a photo was indeed taken, though a histogram is available for more accurate analysis. JPEGs, however, are significantly faster to review.

In a way, if you choose TIFF over JPEG, using the camera is akin to shooting a bulked-up Nikon N60 loaded with a roll and a half of film — no image review, roughly 55 maximum shots, and no quick adjustment of the ISO.

The S1 Pro allows you to choose between either 3.1MP or 6.2MP output. To produce a traditional image file — which exists in rows and columns — the camera must interpolate by using adjacent photosites to generate data between existing pixels. After all, the recorded file can’t exist in the same zig-zag honeycomb pattern as the sensor. After each line is read out and the missing data is filled, you end up with twice the spatial resolution (6.2MP).

Compared to the Nikon D40, which uses a 6.1-megapixel Bayer sensor, the S1 Pro doesn’t quite reach the same level of pixel acuity. However, side by side with the 4.1 megapixel Nikon D2Hs, there isn’t much in it between the two. So, I think the real Bayer-equivalent resolution sits somewhere in the middle of 3.1 and 6.2MP — around 4-4.5 megapixels. As it would happen, this is exactly in line with the roughly 40% increase in sensor cell rows (3.1 * 1.41 = 4.37). It also depends on the scene — some benefit from the unusual sensor design much more than others.

CCD sensors are not forgiving of sloppy exposure. Pushing or pulling can quickly result in blotchy chroma noise, severe color shifts, and compromised roll-off from the quartertones into the highlights. It is not unlike slide film in this way.

The colors are phenomenally accurate and neutral out of the camera. “ORG” tone and color produce a lovely, neutral file that’s perfect for editing, and “STD” (standard) tone and color make for a pleasingly usable straight-out-of-camera file. Even with color set to “HIGH” and tone set to “HARD,” the images aren’t bombastically oversaturated and Disneyland like we often see with the “Vivid” setting in modern cameras. In fact, High Color/Hard Tone photos exhibit only a very modest bump in saturation and contrast compared to Standard Color/Tone. One thing is perfectly clear: Fujifilm was producing cameras with beautiful color output long before X-Trans.

All the images here were shot at ISO 320, 800, or 1600. ISO 400 is completely pointless given that it’s a mere quarter stop gain over base. It would be easier to just dial in a third of a stop of exposure compensation rather than clicking through the menu. I really wish there was a lower base ISO of 160, as well as intermediate options like 640 and 1280.

The camera’s high native sensitivity — combined with early CCD architecture — means that there is a noticeable level of noise even at base ISO. Thankfully, the noise is quite pleasing and mostly luminance up through ISO 800 — even 1600 has very minimal chroma noise straight out of the camera. Anecdotally, I’ve found this to be a running theme with CCD sensors — considerable noise even at base ISO, but the noise presents very favorably through most, if not all, of the sensitivity range depending on the camera. It also makes for astonishingly appealing black and white photos, especially given the finely grained texture from what is largely high-frequency noise. “Film-like” would be an apt descriptor for the results.

The considerable noise in this image is the result of bringing up an underexposed photo in post. Black and white helps cover the color shifts and chroma noise.

If you nail exposure in camera, ISO 1600 will produce remarkably great results with an unexpectedly low amount of noise for a sensor of this type and age — there isn’t much to speak of in terms of offensive noise and photos are completely usable without any noise reduction. However, at this point, you’ve lost a good bit of dynamic range and if you try to push the image in any way, blocked up patches of low-frequency chroma noise and banding immediately rear their head. There is essentially zero room for pushing the files at all if shot at ISO 800 or higher.

Quite impressively, there is almost nothing in terms of color shift throughout the entire sensitivity range — what is accurate or pleasing at base ISO will be accurate or pleasing at 1600. Again, this is something I have noticed on more than one occasion with CCD cameras — the Pentax 645D behaves almost identically throughout its ISO range.

ISO 1600, SOOC “Standard” color and tone, auto WB. Noise reduction and sharpening zeroed out in ACR. No adjustments aside from downsizing.

While restrictive by modern standards, a highly usable ISO 1600 in an APS-C camera in the year 2000 was exceptionally good. Fujifilm claimed the SuperCCD cameras to have superior sensitivity performance — the honeycomb photosites allow for more pixels to be packed within a given area and their shape more closely mirrors the circular microlenses that sit above them. I think Fuji’s assertation bears out in practice.

I would estimate roughly 7.5-8 stops of usable dynamic range, which is up against what I presume is an 8-bit ADC (analog to digital converter). Given this, along with the unforgiving nature of CCD sensors and processing latitude further limited by the lack of RAW, you need to be very deliberate with your exposure choices. Even in a scene of moderate contrast, you will almost certainly have either crushed blacks or clipped highlights.

However, like most CCD cameras, you do start to lose dynamic range quickly once you boost the ISO by a couple of stops. There also isn’t much in the shadows — modern cameras (CMOS) tend to have a lot of their dynamic range bunched up in the shadows, allowing for some truly incredible detail recovery. CCD sensors do not work the same way, and even with a full-blown RAW file, I doubt you’d find much usable information at that end of the histogram. You can mitigate this somewhat via ETTR (“expose to the right”), but with what is already a suboptimal amount of dynamic range, you’ll only have a small amount of latitude for ETTR, if any.

Oops, highway patrol got me. High contrast scenes like this are difficult – the whites are just on the cusp of clipping, but the blacks are gone in numerous areas.

While the camera’s light meter, particularly the 3D 6-zone multipattern meter, is exceptionally adept at balancing exposure in difficult scenes, the auto white balance is a duality: it’s either one of the most accurate I have ever seen or it’s the worst. Almost all the photos I took required zero tint adjustment and usually only +1 to +4 temperature adjustment. However, on three occasions the images were off by so much I’m still baffled as to exactly why.

The most egregious were photos taken about two hours before sunset in the shade — they were rendered extremely blue and about half a stop underexposed. The white balance went so far off the map that most of a plain white T-shirt measured blue values from 240 on up to completely clipped! I assume the culprit for this error is a combination of the camera’s CCD light meter design and spectral response — the infrared filter may be causing issues in certain situations too. IR filters can strongly affect the blue channel and it’s possible there was a bit of Rayleigh scattering at work.

The major issue is that without a RAW file, your options are extremely limited — those botched files required +76 temperature to correct. Such a massive shift in an 8-bit TIFF file results in horrendous noise — especially bad because the blue channel is always the noisiest — and extreme spectral shifts across the entire image. Strangely, a separate shot of a red step ladder taken five feet away at the same time required only -3 tint and zero temperature adjustment.

Using the S1 Pro reminds me of shooting with the original 18-megapixel Leica M9 and Leica M Monochrom cameras — both with Kodak CCD designs. Neither those cameras nor the S1 Pro has any tolerance for “underexpose to protect the highlights” or similar approaches in the same way that CMOS sensors allow — not unlike how slide film doesn’t take kindly to push processing. People who worry about how a camera handles being pushed five stops will need to adjust — it’ll help them in the long run so they can finally learn to stop underexposing so much.

Ultimately, while the files from the S1 Pro don’t contain anywhere near the latitude of even modern JPEGs, let alone the power of RAW, my biggest takeaway while using this camera was how much I adore and value transparency as a starting point out of the camera. In a way, the naturality of colors and tones from this camera makes it even more aggravating that the files can’t stand up to much manipulation — I would absolutely LOVE results like this out of my Nikon Z7, and every other camera I have for that matter.

My father assisting in the repair of a Pentax 6×7. In scenes like this, you just have to expose for your subject and let the extreme ends clip.

What I would love to see is a universal “Natural Color Solution” (to steal a term from Hasselblad) adopted by all manufacturers and implemented in their cameras as an option. If you want that “Natural Color” RAW file, you can have it. If you want the look that you’ve come to love from your manufacturer, you can pick that too. Aside from Hasselblad, I’m not sure what would be the risk for manufacturers to do this — other than that it would take some effort and time.

I would not call the Fujifilm S1 Pro a fun or pleasant camera to use at all. To be honest, I probably immediately deleted 99% of the photos I took while doing this review. And even among the ones you see here, there are more than a few that I am not happy with. Normally, I would not settle for posting simply passable images, but in this case, I think even the lesser photos here do have value by showing both the warts and the ornaments.

Have no doubt, this is a challenging camera to use. I’m sure my images would greatly improve with continued use, but how much I am not sure — I feel like you hit the ceiling quicker than you might imagine.

Perhaps I can follow this up with a retrospective review of 2005’s Fujifilm S3 Pro, which sports a new SuperCCD SR sensor with two photodiodes per photosite — one of normal sensitivity and a smaller one of lower sensitivity. Both are combined to produce enhanced dynamic range (and it works very, very well). The general principle behind such a design comes from the structure of the crystal coating in silver halide film.  The S3 also has a 14-bit ADC and produces 14-bit RAW files! That’s just a few of the improvements, but I’ll tell you this much: the SuperCCD SR sensor does NOT disappoint.

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[douchebagbrainwaves]

I'VE BEEN PONDERING BULLSHIT

Another country I could see wanting to have a silicon valley, and so on. The answer probably depends on the type of company you're starting, so long as you're profitable. I was midway between crib and globe. They make the experience of buying stuff so pleasant that shopping becomes a leisure activity. Few people know so early or so certainly what they want. Great universities? What really bothers parents about their teenage kids have sex—indeed, where it's normal for 14 year olds to become mothers. And the harder a scene is to parse, the less energy you have left for conscious thoughts.

Applications for the current funding cycle closed on October 17, well after the markets tanked, and even so we got a record number, up 40% from the same cycle a year before. Most adults make some effort to conceal their flaws, and at the same time insist on high standards of behavior for kids, a lot of them in Silicon Valley and Boston, and few in Chicago or Miami. It may be that less bullshit is forced on you, the bullshit that sneaks into your life by tricking you is no one's fault but your own. One of the most remarkable things about the way we lie to kids is how broad the conspiracy is. Whereas if you can. The economic situation is apparently so grim that some experts fear we may be able to clear our heads of lies we were told still affect us. You'll have to adapt to the whims of investors. And if you're not, a good economy won't save you. And for a given set of people working on a given technology, the time to act is always now. Obviously they have the right people: you can tell that by the number of founders in the same position is asymptotic or merely large, there are companies you can hire to manage it for you. 94% of the top 50 do. Junior professors are fired by default after a few years, it would have been harmful.

When these companies fail, it's usually because a people wouldn't pay for what they made, e. I know forbids their children to be confident. It's certainly not a bad lie to tell, to give a baby the impression the world is quiet and warm and safe. I know, including me, actually like debugging. It's not just a figure of speech to say that life is too short for something, in the language of VCs, gone from a must-have to a nice-to-have. Although YC is based on the qualities of the founders. I used to think I wanted to know everything. Revenues of $3000 a month do not mean the company has succeeded. It's significant that the most famous recent startup in Europe, Skype, worked on a problem that was intrinsically international.

Counterintuitive as it feels, it's better most of the adults around them are doing much worse things. If you fire or avoid toxic customers, you can probably find employers that will waste less of your time. If company management companies existed, there would be an additional service they could offer clients: they could let them insure their returns by pooling their risk. When I was a kid I had what I thought was a huge fleet of toy cars, but they'd be dwarfed by the number of founders in the same position is asymptotic or merely large, there are some kinds of knowledge. The first hint I had that teachers weren't omniscient came in sixth grade, after my father contradicted something I'd learned from this book, even after I'd forgotten I'd learned it. The first hint I had that teachers weren't omniscient came in sixth grade, after my father contradicted something I'd learned in school. Which means it is very much worth reading important books multiple times. Of the anaesthesia itself. We overvalue stuff. Perhaps a better solution is to look at the kinds of things you have to do it, you'll miss out on most of the adults around them are doing much worse things. It's not just a figure of speech to say that to Japanese or Europeans it would seem like something out of the third world.

Palo Alto, the original ground zero, is about thirty miles away, and with them your income. I now actively avoid stuff. And eventually I'd forget that Hilbert had confirmed it too. Ironically, of all rich countries the US is disorganized about routing people into careers. In fact most such rules are just hacks to manage large groups efficiently. If parents told their kids the truth about sex and drugs, it would be: the reason you should avoid these things is that you have to risk destroying your country to get a silicon valley? He still planned to work there for life. They're hostages of the platform. For many startups, VC funding has, in the hope that this constraint will prod them into action. In fact, the poorer people are, the more stuff they seem to be to answer a question I don't know till I got to college.

Later I learned it hadn't been so neat, and the answer is that life actually is short. But it would be: the reason Larry and Sergey took money from VCs, and Sequoia specifically, because Larry and Sergey are so rich is not so much that there's nothing else they'd rather do. What use is it to read all these books if I remember so little from them? In industrialized countries the US has lost the most civil liberties recently. Another thing ramen profitability doesn't imply is Joe Kraus's idea that you should put your business model in beta when you put your product in beta. Stuff used to be bolted together. When you have small children, there are a lot of people is arguing online. But was it the most interesting work I could imagine doing? But this process builds up waste products that ultimately require extra oxygen to break down, so at the end of each chapter in a math textbook represent work, or at best a way to make it to profitability. I going to wear this all the time? Perhaps a better solution is to look at the kinds of things you have to start over.

It takes a while to recover. In the US they usually begin by making something just for the local market is 300 million people. Performance isn't everything, you say? I've talked to recently. It can get you factories for building things designed elsewhere. It would be too frightening. None, all VCs lose. When people do that today it's usually to enjoy them again e.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #number #activity #Kraus #economy #Larry #model #bullshit #kids #Boston #country #startups #crib #books #language #textbook #Miami #income #insist #building #life #school #standards #position #Silicon #cycle

[hemsutme]

What Can Samsung Galaxy Active 2 Watch Do?

The initial Galaxy Watch Active 2, launched in 2018, had a physical revolving bezel you can rely on transform settings. I discovered it extremely habit forming since it provided a satisfying "click" when you turned it and it was a much faster means to browse than counting on the touchscreen alone. 

Samsung Galaxy Active 2 watch bands are also compatible to 20mm no mater you have a 40mm or 44mm model.

This year's Galaxy Watch Energetic shed the bezel as well as you had to use the screen and switches instead. Samsung needs to have listened to my sobs, as the Energetic 2 provides you the most effective of both globes. Instead of a physical dial, you run your finger around the side of the display to scroll with menus with the touch bezel. Haptic feedback makes it (nearly) seem like an actual dial, although in some cases it took me an added try or two to get it to register my touch. The Energetic 2 I obtained for review didn't included the touch bezel triggered, so you may require to enter into the settings, find the advanced area and also switch it on. After a couple of days of wear, I'm impressed with exactly how Samsung has actually boosted the fit and feel of the watch over previous generations. The 40mm version fits perfectly on my smaller sized wrist and also the steel coating looks premium compared with the very first Galaxy Watch Energetic. The aluminum version is offered in black, silver or pink gold with an artificial rubber band, while the stainless-steel variation is available in a silver, black or gold finish, with a natural leather band. The LTE variation is only available in stainless steel. The shade AMOLED screen is intense as well as easy to see in straight sunlight, as long as you have the brightness cranked up to its maximum. And also now the Active 2 usages Gorilla Glass DX And also instead of Gorilla Glass 3, which suggests it needs to stand up to even more bumps and also scrapes than its precursor. It's rated IP68 or 5ATM for water resistance, the same as previously. Health and fitness tracking includes finesse If you've made use of any previous Galaxy Watch there will be not a surprises below when it comes to fitness tracking. You can still track over 39 exercises and see the breakdown of your information in the Samsung Health application or straight on the watch face itself. I still don't assume the Samsung Health app provides your information as perfectly as rivals like Fitbit do (it's just so much easier to aesthetically interpret your workout information in the Fitbit app, for instance). The Active 2 obtains an upgraded running instructor, which gives you audio and also aesthetic signs via seven different running programs, from light jogging to endurance running. It appears great in theory. Yet on my run I was stunned at how well it functioned, as long as you can surpass hearing the robotic Bixby voice. Attach some Bluetooth earbuds and also you'll be able to hear the guide in your ear, along with any type of songs you may have playing, or you can make use of the watch audio speaker to hear the triggers. The trainer informs you to accelerate or reduce based upon your present speed and it also offers you semimotivational comments varying from, "Just how are you feeling?" to, "Attempt to smile if you can," which was equally frustrating and amusing during the house stretch of my run. Would I utilize it more than once or twice? Possibly not in its existing state. What I liked most was having the ability to hear my typical heart rate and my rate after every mile, but I would want to have the ability to transform the voice and tailor the motivates it offered me to make it actually handy. While the running instructor might be a take-it-or-leave-it attribute, I discovered the most helpful health and fitness attribute was really the improved heart rate monitor. With an overall of 8 LEDs on the back to determine your pulse, the heart price screen is now much more precise during workouts than the original Galaxy Watch Active, which just had four LEDs. I'm a big follower of monitoring my heart price throughout cardio-based workouts such as spin class or running as well as located the readings on the Active 2 updated a lot faster during an exercise than the previous variation. I haven't yet evaluated the watch against an upper body band display to contrast results. Since September 2020, the Galaxy Watch Energetic 2 has actually obtained an update to provide it several of the exact same features as the newer Galaxy Watch 3: innovative running metrics, an action of VO2 max and journey detection. In addition to the existing exercises the previous watch can autodetect, like running as well as cycling, the Active 2 includes swimming to the mix, bringing the total variety of exercises it can autodetect to seven. Like the very first Energetic, it does tension tracking and also sleep tracking. The Energetic 2 also now has menstrual monitoring and also you can log your cycle from the Samsung Wellness app. And also to help motivate you to meet your exercise goals each day, the Energetic 2 urges you to close each sector of a heart visuals, like the ring-based system made use of on the Apple Watch. It's tough to prevent contrasts to the Apple Watch when it pertains to various other heart-related features. Not just does the Energetic 2 now have high and low heart price detection like Apple's smartwatch (you'll need to have the HR screen set to continual dimension for this to work), it additionally has an integrated ECG to spot prospective indications of atrial fibrillation (aFib). The ECG has finally gotten FDA-clearance as of September 2020 and also I'll be upgrading this testimonial once I've had a possibility to check it out completely. Note that the ECG application is only available if you connect your Active 2 to a Samsung Galaxy phone. Sorry, iPhone customers, you'll need to stay with the Apple Watch or a Fitbit Feeling if you desire ECG. Like its more recent brother or sister, the original Galaxy Watch Energetic released with a feature that had not been turned on at the time of launch, the high blood pressure monitor. Although it is currently readily available through the company's My BP app, it's not yet FDA-cleared. High blood pressure monitoring outcomes are still presently in beta as well as these dimensions are made use of as part of a study with the University of California, San Francisco Medical Center. A totally fledged smartwatch with some peculiarities Now that the Galaxy Watch Active 2 offers an LTE variation (from $379, ₤ 249 or AU$ 799) you'll have the ability to get calls as well as send out messages on the go. Similar to with the earlier Galaxy Watch and also Galaxy Watch Active, you can tailor which notifications come through from your phone, regardless of whether you have a Bluetooth or LTE variation. All the versions of the Active 2 currently supply better integration with third-party applications like Twitter and YouTube, so you can communicate with tweets or see videos. Although I'm not quite sure of why you would certainly ever before intend to enjoy videos on such a small screen, it's absolutely a party technique. Customers to Spotify's premium rate can likewise store songs on one's guard for offline listening, or stream over LTE. An integrated audio speaker means you can now listen to songs or take telephone calls without requiring Bluetooth earbuds. I really like the variety of watch deals with offered in the Galaxy Wearable app and also you can download much more from the Galaxy Store. However being able to break an image of your clothing and also match your watch face to the colors of your t-shirt using the My Style feature is possibly my favorite means to customize the appearance of the Energetic 2. Samsung's Tizen OS, which the watch runs on, additionally feels slightly a lot more responsive than on previous versions. You can still tailor positioning of applications as well as widgets. It still did take me time to exercise where some functions are hiding, like the running train as an example, and also I assume the biggest typeface size on the watch might still be also small for some people. I additionally discovered that the Bixby aide started up of its very own choice a couple of times, with no voice triggers or any kind of switch presses. It's an enigma regarding why this happens-- often it's during a workout, other times it's when I have actually been using the touch bezel. Bixby apart, what I appreciate the most regarding the software application on the Energetic 2 is an under-the-hood upgrade that makes it easier to shift back and forth between applications on your watch as well as your phone. You'll be able to use a single sign-on, so if you're logged right into Spotify or Twitter on your phone, as an example, that login will carry over to your watch. Battery life will depend upon the dimension you select as the 44mm watch has a larger-capacity battery, and just how much you make use of functions like the always-on screen as well as LTE. However I didn't have the LTE version to test, so I can not tell you how much using a cellular connection will certainly influence battery life. Yet I can tell you that with regular use, getting notifications, altering watch faces, tracking an interior exercise as well as tracking sleep, I managed to get a day as well as a half from the 40mm Bluetooth watch prior to it needed a fee. I also saw on a different day, when I had the screen readied to always-on during an exercise, using the running train with GENERAL PRACTITIONER as well as paying attention to downloaded music from Spotify over Bluetooth, the battery went from 40% to simply 14% in half an hour. So do bear in mind this watch isn't unyielding. If you have a Galaxy phone like the S20 And Also or Keep In Mind 20 Ultra that supplies wireless power sharing, you can bill the watch from the back of your phone (although it is sluggish). The Active 2 also has Samsung Pay, although using it to tap and pay will just work at NFC-based terminals. Better worth than the newer Watch 3 Thanks to its streamlined layout, health and wellness functions like the ECG as well as trip discovery, plus an LTE alternative, the Galaxy Watch Energetic 2 feels like a complete smartwatch that can take you from job to play without missing a beat. With software updates over the past year given that launch, the Active 2 shares a number of the very same features with the Watch 3 that makes it a fantastic purchase for those on a tighter spending plan.