#Devon Bostick

[junocore3]

how i feel when i dont have a white boy to obsess over

edit: holy shit yall, thanks for almost 800 likes/reposts 🫶

#devon bostick #mike schmidt x reader #dean taylor x reader #kurt kunkle x reader #josh hutcherson #ethan landry x reader #rodrick heffley x reader

[fofolette]

movies to watch before Oppenheimer for full comprehension rule

#196 #r/196 #rule #oppenheimer #barbenheimer #diary of a wimpy kid #devon bostick

[turvi]

Ypu said you wanna write for rodrick and I wanna request.

So rodrick with a good girl neighbour reader (think- gwen stacy type) and rodrick does all kinda stuff to impress her even at school so yea.

I'm a sucker for goofy! Himbo! Rodrick

Thank you for the request. I hope you enjoy this

"BOYS! OUR NEW NEIGHBOURS ARE HERE!" Susan yelled and huffed when none of the boys responded to her call. Greg was busy filming Rowley trying to fall from his chair. Rodrick was in the basement and didn't hear his mam call out to him as he was drowned in the sounds of his drums.

A few minutes later, Rodrick finally comes up to drink water, only to see the new neighbours...most importantly, their daughter.

Rodrick didn't realise he had dropped his drumsticks on the floor until his mother was tugging him towards the living room and introduced him to the neighbours, the L/ns. And there she was with a sweet, gentle smile telling him her name.

"Hey, nice to meet you. I'm Y/n," she said, offering her hand.

Rodrick held her hand, not wanting to let go, but he had to since both his and her parents were watching them. "I-uh...I am Rodrick."

He scowled when he heard Greg snickering behind him. He wanted to hide so badly just because he couldn't tell his name to a pretty girl. But she doesn't laugh at him. She squeezed his hand, letting him know it was ok.

It was, at this moment, he wondered if it was too soon to ask her to marry him? He shook his head. He was being silly. Just because a girl was nice to him doesn't mean he should fall in love with her.

Then two days later, he heard knocking on the garage door. He sighed, thinking it was one of the upright elder people wanting him to keep the voice low. When he opened the garage door, he almost let it go when he saw Y/n standing there, the harsh sunlight pouring down his lawn.

He quickly let her in and introduced her to his bandmates, who were just beaming at the sight of Rodrick being awkward and shy around her.

"Hey, I was just walking by and heard you guys play. I was wondering if you could teach me how to play drums. I already talked to your mom."

His friend patted his shoulder. "Rodrick is our drummer. He is a great teacher too, he can teach you. Right, Rodrick?"

Rodrick got out of his daze when he heard his name. "Uh...yeah...yeah...I drum...drums" It was like he never learnt English in school, and Rodrick hated how he sounded.

"Ok, tell me when you are free. I'll come."

"Actually, we are leaving, so you guys can continue. It was nice meeting you." his friend winked at him, leaving the two alone. Rodrick knew he couldn't do much but look at her knowing his mom was peeping through the basement door. But he was just happy seeing her and talking to her.

He was happy they were bonding. He would teach her to play the drums. She would spellcheck his assignments. Rodrick knew she had a place in his heart when she would gently correct his spellings.

Slowly he loved holding her hands, her smile, her nose scrunch, the way she snorted before she laughed, and her soft sweaters that always smelled nice.

He didn't realise when he fell in love, or was he always in love? When he would go shopping with his family, he would spot things that he knew Y/n might like. He even saw a jewellery shop, and his heart dropped looking at the prices of the rings. But then, he had yet to win her heart. He was determined to buy this ring.

Of course, by the time he would be rich enough to buy the ring, he would already have your heart. But Rodrick didn't know he already had Y/n's heart, and she knew it was always going to be his.

@milivanili99 @cecekcecekceckceckceck @maneskai @isaentremundos @autumn3l3ctr0swings @mikulovingtrash

A/N: If you like this REBLOG AND COMMENT

#rodrick heffley x reader #rodrick heffley x y/n #rodrick x reader #rodrick x y/n #rodrick heffley #diary of a wimpy kid imagines #diary of a wimpy kid rodrick #diary of a wimpy kid rodrick rules #diary of a wimpy kid #rodrick rules #rodrick imagines #rodrick heffley fanfic #rodrick heffley fluff #rodrick heffley x fem!reader #devon bostick x reader #devon bostick #ask turvi #turvi writes

[rivercloak]

so, you're telling me that big-time millionaire director christopher nolan knew löded diper but not one direction??? that's a win for music in my eyes

#christopher nolan confirmed e-boy??? #he should direct a new doawk film with the og cast next #christopher nolan #oppenheimer #barbie #devon bostick #barbenheimer #rodrick heffley #rodrick rules #harry styles #one direction #cinema #music

[brae-brae]

RODRICK HEFFLEY X READER (SMUT)You know where I live, neighbor

rodrick heffley. your loud and annoying neighbor, not to mention, a total ass hat that just seems to LOVE harassing you at school. whether it's snarky remarks or "accidentally" bumping into you in the hall. but what happens when you see something you weren't meant to, through a window...

(god hes so fooken cute)

Scrolling through TikTok, I suddenly had my ears invaded by the loud music of my neighbor. I rolled my eyes, throwing my blanket off of me and jumping off my bed. God, he does this like every other night. This is getting ridiculous. I try to keep my cool, but tonight? Is not the night. I’m sick of not saying something. This ends tonight. I walked over to my curtains and threw them to the side, opening my window. 

Just as I was about to yell at him I stopped in my tracks. There he was, Rodrick fucking Heffley, with his blaring music, laying on his back, cock in hand. I couldn’t stop staring. His legs shaking slightly, head thrown back, biting his lip, hips slightly bucking into his hands, everything. I felt like such a creep, especially when my thighs closed together, fuck. I was enjoying this… I shouldn’t be enjoying this, but I couldn’t help but watch, the sight of his mouth hanging open, his other hand wrapped around him, gripping the sheets, it was too much. 

I felt my thighs become wet as I rubbed them together for any friction. I couldn’t control myself. My hand slowly made its way down, rudding circles on my clit. I held onto the window sill, as I leaned back. I sat on my bed, legs spread slightly, as I inserted a finger pumping it inside of me. I gripped my bedsheet, adding another finder. God if only it were Rodrick doing this to me… I began quickening my pace, the thought of Rodrick over me, his hair in his face, sweaty, kissing my neck, god it was wrong but it felt so right. 

“Fuck, Rodrick…” I tried to be as quiet as I could, but I couldn’t help myself. I let a louder moan out as I added a third finger. Curving my fingers inside me, I could feel my abdomen tightened as I came undone. “Shit…” Out of breath, legs trembling, guilt washing over me. Just as I removed my fingers from myself, I heard a deep voice, almost a whimper, call my name. “S-shit Fuck! God Y/N!” my head shot up, looking out the window. 

Seeing Rodrick, head still thrown back, mouth even wider, legs shaking violently as he shoots cum all over his hand and stomach. His breathing is heavy, hand running through his hair while he licked his bottom lip. I quickly shut my window and curtains, turning my back to them. What the fuck did I just do. 

______________________________________________________

The next day at school, I tried to avoid Rodrick at all costs. Normally, I would “avoid” him, hoping to have some interaction with him. Now? No, never. Even my friends started to notice. Anytime they tried to ask me, I would try to play it off as not enough sleep. As the bell rang for lunch, I stayed in my last class as long as possible, hoping Rodrick wouldn’t be in the halls. As I saw the last few people in the hall, I walked to my locker. As I was putting my books and grabbing my lunch, an arm came crashing down next to me. 

Looking up, I felt my face go red. “Hey, darling, I have a question,” he said with a smirk. Trying not to react to the name. I tried to play it off, rolling my eyes. “Don’t call me that. And what? This better be important” I said with my arms crossed. He looked at me up and down, then cooing me, crossing his arms as well. “Have fun last night?” my face dropped, going pale. He just laughed, clapping his hands together. “Oh god! Your face! Ha!” he cackled. I looked around, embarrassed. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about..” I looked away. His face lent down to mine, that shit-eating smirk, toying at his lips. “Yeah, I think you do.” he looked at my lips and back at my eyes. I rolled my eyes and slammed my locker, causing him to jump. “Nope!” I turned on my heel and began walking away. He grabbed my wrist, turning me around to look at him. “Then why don’t I remind you..” he bent down to my ear and whispered the words he had said last night, “God Y/N..” he chuckled and looked me in the eyes. My face had regained its color and then some. “Shut up!” I whisper-yelled, “I don’t need the whole school to know!” he threw his head back laughing, holding his stomach. “You know,” he paused, and leaned on a locker, “you should come over later… to my place” he winked. “You know where I live, neighbor.” he walked away, saluting me as I stood there in complete shock. 

Like I would ever even consider that! What an asshole! 

I turned and shot him a look. “9 o’clock! If you don’t answer, I leave!”

#rodrick heffley #diary of a wimpy kid #rodrick heffley x reader #devon bostick #rodrick heffley smut

[steve-needs-a-hug]

Oppenheimer reviews that made me genuinely laugh out loud

#these are all completely true and factual btw #oppenheimer #oppenheimer 2023 #christopher nolan #letterboxd reviews #letterboxd #rodrick rules 2011 #devon bostick

[sunnysoulzz]

Virgin!rodrick x f!reader

Hello! So I started this in like October, and now it’s new years so- whoops 😭 sorry @chihir0-l0vely

Warnings: virgin!Rodrick x f!reader, basically porn no plot oops, reader rides rodrick 😳, also reader is doing most of the work cause rodrick is noob to sex lmao

You got to rodricks house at around 9pm. Rodrick had invited you over to spend the night, and who were you to decline? You knocked on his door, he quickly opened it. He smiled at you and grabbed your hand, pulling you inside. His parents weren’t home, just like he told you. He basically dragged you upstairs to his room.

He pulled you onto his bed, kissing you. You giggled lightly as you straddled him. “Someone’s excited” your hands moved to his neck. “I’ve been wanting to see you all day” his hands rested on your waist. You kissed him again, the kiss quickly turned hungry. Your hand slid under his shirt, you felt the way he tensed up under you, his hands remained on your hips. You could feel his growing erection. He looked up at you with half lidded eyes.

Your hand moved down, teasing along the waistline of his pants before resting on his crotch. He bit his lip as he inhaled sharply. You rubbed him though his jeans, his head rested in the crook of your neck. You slowly opened his fly. His hand moved to grab your wrist. His ears turned red as a light blush coated his face. “I haven’t..uh..” he mumbled. You looked at him, giggling slightly, “I know”.

It didn’t take long for both of you to get undressed. He couldn’t help but stare at your body, completely mesmerised as you adjusted your position on top of him. Your hands ran over your body, over your breasts to your waist to your pussy, his eyes followed. His hands moved to your thighs, he let out a shaky breath.

Your hands moved to his cock, rubbing him up and down. Rodrick threw his head back, one of his hands moving to hold your wrist. “You ready?” You licked your lips. He nodded. You moved over and grabbed a condom from your bag, you put it on him as he watched excitedly (always use protection 😌).

You moved closer to him, aligning his cock with your entrance before sinking down on him, you both moaned. He held your hips in place for a second, getting used to the feeling of you wrapped around him.

It didn’t take him long to grip your hips and start moving you up and down. You held onto his shoulders for support. Rodrick leaned back, angling his hips more. You didn’t even have to move, he was so excited about fucking you he gladly did all the work. The feeling of you made him feel high, he was so happy that his first time was with you, even though he didn’t know what he was doing.

It didn’t take long for him to feel that coil in his stomach tightening. He knew he was close. Rodrick felt slightly embarrassed that he hadn’t lasted longer. “Fuck- I’m gonna-“ he moaned out. You moved forward, putting your hands next to his head as you kissed him. It was messy, you both were desperate. Your hand moved down, rubbing circles into your clit, pushing yourself over the edge.

He held your hips against his, his head was thrown back, and your eyes were heavy. Your fingers stopped as you came with him. He held inside you for a few seconds as he caught his breath. His arms flopped to his sides as you moved down, laying on his chest and listening to his heart beat.

—

This sucked wow- I’m so sorry I made you guys wait that long for this 😭 I honestly don’t think rodricks first time was anything like this- he definitely had an awkward first time lmaoooo bro probably came as soon as he was inside BAHAHA- anyway, again, I’m sorry but I hope this was at least slightly enjoyable. Also thank you to my proofreader @luntothemoon you are a life saver 🙏

@chihir0-l0vely @loeybby33

#devon bostick #rodrick heffley smut #rodrick heffley x reader #rodrick x reader #rodrick smut

[dragons-and-dwarves-are-nice]

TikTok decided to show me an edit of an actor I had a crush on 10 years ago and I have now respiralled into the gaping chasm that is my love for Devon Bostick AKA Mr I’m in a band and wear eyeliner Rodrick Heffley himself.

I’ve never mentioned him (because I forgot) during the entire time I’ve had TikTok yet it somewhat broke into my brain and decided to unlock some seriously far back memories

Like

8 year old me had TASTE

And also thought she could pull an 18 year old but we’re not gonna focus on that

I’m once again simping for this gorgeous eyeliner wearing man TikTok how could you

#8 year old me dreamed of moving to America for some emo guy #a fit emo guy tho #a fine man indeed #istg im gonna scream #rodrick heffley #doawk rodrick #diary of a wimpy kid #rodrick rules #rodrick heffley x reader #devon bostick

[dark-vader28]

before I start I love your work you’re literally my favourite writer on tumblr atm :)

(I never do requests so I might be a bit stiff 😭)

I was wondering if you could do something where the reader is Rodricks neighbour and one of his best friends. And it’s like friends to lovers?

Rodrick takes us on drives with his van often and loves spending time with us. And then one day he confesses. (Idk I’m waffling atp)

aww this is so cute i love this idea and tysm!!

a/n: i’m sorry this is so lazy and poorly edited, i’ve just been so swamped with work but i didn’t wanna wait any longer to write this cause it’s such a cute idea.

———

Greg and Rowley were getting tossed around in the back of Rodrick’s van, flying across with every bump in the road. Music blasted through the van and out the open windows as you and Rodrick sat in the front. For a moment you felt bad for the two boys in the back, one of them being your best friend’s younger brother. But you were over the feeling as Rodrick air-drummed along to the song, nearly crashing the car for the millionth time. You’d gotten used to his reckless driving and if anything, you enjoyed it like it was some rollercoaster.

The van slammed to a stop at Rodrick’s house and Greg slammed against the back of your seat, causing you to laugh. You turned to look back at them, unbuckling your seatbelt in the meantime. They both looked horrified, wide-eyed and disheveled clothing and hair, but they didn’t look hurt. No visible signs of bruises or bleeding anyway.

The radio shut off and you hurried out the car and to the back to help Greg and Rowley out. You knew Rodrick wasn’t the biggest fan of either of them but you didn’t mind them and the sinking feeling of guilt started to return as you watched them stumble out the car.

“Guess he shouldn’t have taken out the seats in the back,” you commented, grabbing Greg’s backpack that had been thrown around.

“Ya think?” Greg replied, pissy and sarcastic. Rowley scrambled to his feet, swinging his backpack onto both shoulders.

“Maybe I can convince Rodrick to let me drive next time, alright?” you suggested.

“Only if you’re better than that,” Greg scowled, glaring at Rodrick who was running inside.

“Be nice,” you warned.

“Why?! Rodrick nearly killed us!” Greg defended.

“He’s my best friend like Rowley is yours. Be nice or I won’t do you a favour and ask Rodrick if I could drive.” Greg frowned but kept his mouth shut, dragging Rowley along with him as they ran inside.

You were closing up the back of the van when Rodrick came running back out. You heard his quiet footsteps and quickly turned around before he could try and scare you.

“You know, maybe I should drive next time,” you told him, going to the passenger seat to grab your backpack.

“What? No way,” Rodrick replied without missing a beat. Your backpack hung from one shoulder as you closed the car door.

“Why not?” you questioned.

“My van, my keys,” he said, dangling his keys in the air. “I drive.”

“Yeah, well one day you’re gonna end up killing Greg and Rowley back there,” you added, shooting him a disapproving look.

“So?” he retorted. You pushed his shoulder, rolling your eyes and shaking your head as you hid a smile.

“You’re a douche, you know that?” you laughed, heading towards your house (which was right beside Rodrick’s). He followed after you. He tossed an arm around your shoulder, a gesture he started doing more and more often that you had grown accustomed to.

“Well, chicks dig bad boys,” he chuckled. You rolled your eyes again, pushing him off of you and he laughed harder.

Rodrick stayed over until about 7 that night, leaving when he figured he should go home before his mom had a fit about him missing family dinner. The two of you hung out nearly every night. More often than not, you were at his house, sat in his garage as he played drums or in his room watching scary movies until you were left holding onto him. You often weren’t that scared but watching horror movies at 3am is a different story. The only reason you ever hung out at your house was when Rowley was hanging out with Greg to spare the both of you from being bothered by them.

You and Rodrick had been friends since your family moved to town. The house right beside the Heffley’s was for sale and your father bought it without hesitation. You then met Rodrick at school, around the beginning of 8th grade. The two of you were sat in the back and you made some half-witted comment about how arbitrary and ridiculous the lecture and class was. Rodrick overheard and the two of you spent the next few weeks insulting and cracking jokes about the teacher in that class. Your desks would always scoot closer together and you had to cover your mouth to stifle the laughter and hide the smiles. By the end of 8th grade, you had spent a majority of the year sitting at his lunch table and hanging out after school. You used to go to the park near your house and torment the other kids there; hiding behind play structures and jumping out to scare them. It became more after that, especially when high school hit. You used to spend an afternoon together once in a while but he started to become an everyday thing, taking drives together when he somehow managed to get his license. Fortunately for the two of you, Rodrick’s mom adored you. Which may be why his parents never had a problem with you spending endless nights there.

But, despite what your parents thought at first and what Greg and Rowley think, you never had any romantic feelings for him. He didn’t feel like a brother to you either considering the way you saw Rodrick and Greg relentlessly bicker and fight. You weren’t like that with Rodrick. Sure, you teased one another but never fought in the way you’d watched Greg and Rodrick fight. You loved Rodrick, not in a brotherly way or in a “i’m in love with you, and i know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable” way. Or at least you thought.

Saturday evening rolled around and you sat up against the headboard of your bed, flipping through some old book you’d had for years. Your eyes flicked over the pages, hardly taking in and reading a single word. Your headphones blared music into your ears and you couldn’t help but tap the spine of the book along to the rhythm until you lost all interest in the book’s entirety. You tossed it aside, staring blankly at the wall in front of you. Normally, it would’ve been a day where you and Rodrick hung out but he had never picked up the phone and called you, or came pounding on your door, or even had failed attempts at climbing through your window (considering your parents were a little less fond of Rodrick, calling him a bad influence and whatnot). His absence left your day empty and it felt tedious with how slow the hours seemed to pass.

Around 9 o’clock, when you planned on having an early night due to your lack of things to do, you could hear honking from the front of your house. Then a shout of your name echoed through the house. You pulled on a jacket, covering up your bare arms, and practically flew down the stairs. Your mom stood at the front door, arms folded over her chest with a scowl.

“That boy, Rodrick, is honking outside. I just put your sister to bed and now she’s up, crying,” your mom frowned. You pursed your lips briefly and glanced at the door.

“Sorry, mom,” you mumbled, sliding into a pair of shoes before hurrying out the door. As you closed it behind you, you saw Rodrick hanging out the window of his van, one hand over the horn while the other held him up. His hand seemed to slip and he honked again. You rushed to the car and hit him as he flopped down into his seat. “Quit honking, or my mom’s gonna kill you,” you urged. Despite the darkness of the night, the pale moonlight lit up his face just enough to see the red of his cheeks as he looked away from you.

“Get in then, or I’ll honk again,” Rodrick joked and you rolled your eyes, smiling, before willingly getting in the passenger side.

“I should’ve asked, where exactly are we going?” you asked, turning your attention to him as he began driving. He was driving slower and much more carefully than he ever had before. His shoulders rose and fell in a shrug and he failed to look in your direction.

“I just wanted to take a drive,” he replied simply, sounding a little sheepish, which wasn’t like him. Taking drives with him wasn’t an unusual thing per se, but the way he seemed quieter and damn near stunned around you hadn’t fit his typical demeanor. Quite frankly, it worried you.

“Don’t you have a curfew?” you asked. He tapped the wheel, looking nearly everywhere but you. He nodded cautiously.

“Yeah, 9 o’clock,” he muttered. You laughed a bit, hoping it would lighten the mood or ease the tension that was weighing a ton.

“Well then, Rodrick, I-” but he interrupted.

“Have you ever liked anyone?” he blurted out. Your brow furrowed, stunned by the randomness of the question. His knuckles looked white from the way he gripped the steering wheel and you feared he would break it off.

“What’s that got to do with anything?” you questioned, avoiding answering. He drew in a sharp breath.

“I was just wondering,” he replied. You bit the inside of your cheek, hesitating on your response.

“Why, you like someone?” you asked, still delaying your answer as you tried to conjure up something to say. What did it matter to him? Better yet, why had the question made you so nervous? You and Rodrick told each other nearly everything. Rodrick ran to you asking for advice when he had a crush on Heather Hills. Why was it so different now?

“I don’t know,” he whispered. “I shouldn’t,” he added, his voice going even quieter.

“What do you mean you shouldn’t?” you inquired. His jaw clenched and he brought the car to a stop. You looked around outside for a moment. There were no houses. There was nothing at all really. Just empty land.

It was silent except for the distant chirp of crickets. It took Rodrick a moment before he finally spoke. “Y/n, I-” he stopped, finally looking at you. All words escaped his mind and the rest of his sentence trailed off. He averted his gaze as quickly as he had found it and cleared his throat. He shook his head and shut his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. He buried his face in his hands and your worry reached its peak. He seemed outright miserable.

“I like you,” he spoke, voice muffled by his hands. Your jaw went slack and eyes went wide.

“What?” you asked quietly, not because you hadn’t heard but because you couldn’t fathom the fact he liked you of all people.

He lifted his face out of his hands and repeated himself, louder this time. “I like you.” Your gaze softened.

“Rodrick,” you began softly. His hands fell to his lap, then raised again and gripped the wheel, running his hands over it. Your mind was going nearly a million miles an hour, trying to sort out his and your own feelings. Your heart was practically beating out of your chest and you could hear the thump of it through the silence. You were hoping he would say something as you tried to carefully pick out your words but your head was just a jumble of all the things you wished you could say.

“Yeah, no, I get it,” he said, sounding defeated. You shook your head and your mouth opened but no words seemed to pour out. When there was a lack of your response, Rodrick jumped in. “I’ll take you home. Forget this ever happened, alright?” He finally met your gaze again and you could see the way his eyes were glassy and on the verge of bloodshot. You felt your eyes start to pool up. He turned his attention to the road and started up the car again.

“Rod, I, um, I didn’t mean for you to take it like that.” You desperately racked your brain for any of the right words that seemed to be forming on the tip of your tongue but you couldn’t deliver it properly. “To be honest, I don’t know how I feel.” You let out a light laugh, keeping yourself from the tears about to flow down your cheeks.

You were so enveloped in your mess of thoughts, you hadn’t noticed when Rodrick’s van pulled to a stop right in front of your house. You swallowed the lump in your throat and a hot tear rolled down your cheek. You’d come to the realization you liked him too, and maybe that you always had. It had never made sense to you though; that you felt that way for him. It didn’t made sense now either but it was clear that you did. You both got out of his van and you rushed over to his side. He was heading up his driveway and you stepped in front of him. He stopped, looked down at you through a few strands of his dark shaggy hair that covered his glassy doe brown eyes and you felt your heart stop for a moment. You cupped his face, and moved up to press your lips to his. There was a moment of bliss and ignorance where it felt like the world fell away. But you felt him tense underneath your touch and you slipped away. You let your hand fall away and felt the sinking feeling of regret in your stomach as you started walking away. Maybe if you had seen the dorky bright smile illuminate Rodrick’s face as you walked away, you might’ve felt better but you scurried home and spent the rest of the night thinking you made the worst decision of your life; ruining your friendship with Rodrick in a way that couldn’t be recovered.

The doorbell echoed through the house, startling you awake. You groaned, rubbing your eyes and turning on your side to look at your alarm clock. It was barely 9 am. You yawned and stretched as you sat up, finally getting up as the doorbell rang impatiently again. Your eyes had dark rings and were still red from your night of crying over Rodrick (shamefully and feeling ridiculously stupid for caring so much) but you hardly thought about how you looked as you stumbled to the door. The doorbell rang a 3rd time and you were sure your parents would be mad at you for not answering the door sooner. You swung the door open carelessly, not bothering to look through the peephole first. Despite your tiredness blinding your senses, the strong scent of flowers filled your nose when the door opened and when your eyes focused, you noticed the bright arrangement of colors before you, all blooming and full of life, which you weren’t sure you’d be able to maintain for long.

“My mom picked them, I didn’t know what you like,” the voice mumbled. Your attention flicked up from the flowers to the one holding them. You suddenly wished you looked better; your hair tangled from bedhead, bloodshot eyes, and some old tank top and pajama pants you had for years. Your eyes found Rodrick’s deep brown eyes and messy hair with a crooked smile on his lips. You nearly swooned, gaze softening as you could feel your heart melt.

“Rodrick,” you started quietly. He held the flowers out to you and you took them, a grin spreading across your face. You were speechless. You never took him as the type to give flowers, especially after one impulsive kiss. Not to your knowledge, Rodrick had run to his mom that night and begged her to help him. He didn’t trust most of her advice but took her ideas and turned them into The Rodrick Way. Except for the flowers. That was all his mom’s idea.

“Wanna take a drive?”

———

a/n (again): this was kinda lazy and i hate this but i felt bad for postponing posting this for so long and i can’t keep rereading this and trying to fix it 😭 anyway, i loved the request so much!

#rodrick heffley #rodrick heffley x reader #rodrick rules #rodrick fanfic #doawk rodrick #devon bostick #diary of a wimpy kid rodrick #rodrick x y/n #rodrick x reader #my fic #anon ask #anonymous #thanks anon! #send asks #thanks for the ask!

[skintyfiia]

FINISHED!!!!!

#my art #fanart #digital art #artists on tumblr #six fanarts #art challenge #christopher nolan #jonathan crane #kitten braden #anok yai #rodrick heffley #cillian murphy #devon bostick #diary of a wimpy kid #breakfast on pluto #batman trilogy #robert capa sunshine #sunshine 2007 #so many tags help me

[breckstonevailskier]

Fargo (1996) vs. Fargo (season 5 episode 1)

#fargo #fargo season 5 #fargo s5 #ole munch #dot lyon #dorothy lyon #gaear grimsrud #carl showalter #donald ireland #fargo fx #Kristin Rudrüd #juno temple #steve buscemi #peter stormare #sam spruell #devon bostick

[behindthescreamz]

excerpts from the “saw vi” feature in fangoria magazine issue #288 (nov 2009)

#saw vi #horror #behind the scenes #fangoria #saw #saw movies #saw films #saw franchise #jigsaw #horror movies #2000s horror #tobin bell #john kramer #costas mandylor #mark hoffman #peter outerbridge #william easton #tanedra howard #caroline cave #devon bostick #brent abbott #marty moreau #special effects makeup #kevin greutert #blood #gore #tw blood #tw gore #cw: fake blood #cw: gore

[elvisalltheway101]

•••••••Bounce to the Beat••••••

summary: Rodrick using his new drumsticks for another purpose.

author’s note: I kinda like this new “succinct and short” format! But of course I’ll ask how would like it for a request. Mwah, enjoy! I’m slowly writing everything out of my drafts. And to those who have requested and such, I’m almost done, darlings!

warnings: fingering, eating out, using drumstick as sex toy, female reader….yup.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Rodrick invited you over to show off his new drumstick and to show his new skills, but in your position now…it is totally different than what you came for.

Here you were, Rodrick on his knees below you, as he ravishes your pussy. You let out soft gasps when the tips of his index and middle finger prod and rub against your entrance. You prop yourself on your elbows and whine. “Rodrick, stop teasing. Please”

He then pulls away with a smirk and lets out an airy laugh. I chew on my bottom lip and glances into your eyes. “Y/n I-I actually wanted to try something…cool.”

When he turns his back and ruffles though his mess on the garage floor, he pulls out his new box that has polished, expensive bamboo drumsticks inside. You raise a brow and hum, “you gonna show me a new beat thingy in the middle of this?” You can’t help but let out a small giggle, and let your head fall back.

He snorts and rolls his eyes playfully, scooting on his knees back to you. His eyes trail from your pretty face to your glistening, pink and wet heat. He gulps and shrugs, blushing scarlet. “N-no…I uh, instead of my fingers. Maybe…my new drumsticks? We don’t have to but I just. Uh, it just popped into my head.” He scratches the back of his head awkwardly and looks off to the floor.

You’re unsure about this. Raising your head up to see the new sticks in his hand already, and down to your needy pussy. Sure you’ve stuck your fingers or his inside of yourself. But an item? It’s new, but you’re too aroused to say no.

When you agree, he gets right to work. Latching onto your puffy clit with such hunger, and tapping your sticky lower lips with the ball tip of his drumstick. Your eyes flutter close and when he expertly grazes his teeth to tongue at your sensitive little bud. He then slips the stick with ease and your eyes roll to the back of your skull. It’s a delicious sensation and your hand flies to tangle your fingers into your hair.

“R-Rodrick, oh fuck! It- so, ah.” Little whimpers and pretty moans escape your lips as he continues to lap up at your pussy lips, pulling away some times to watch his drumstick sink and be engulfed into your vagina. He palms himself through his boxers, going back and moaning into your cunt, pressing the stick faster and it only fuels to your orgasm.

letting out a high gasp, your juices run down his stick and to his fingers. He pulls away with your slick on his chin and he only looks down while pulling the messy and wet-coated drumstick out.

“well at least there’s another purpose for drumsticks than drumming, huh?”

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Author’s note: hope you enjoyed!

#Rodrick heffley #rodrick smut #rodrick x reader #rodrick rules #devon bostick #diary of a wimpy kid #spotify #rodrick foreverrr

[turvi]

Yo what about just sittin on Rodrick’s lap as he discusses stuff with the band

Thanks for the request

Rodrick munched on the snacks that he stole borrowed from Greg's secret stash that he shared with his friends as they lounged on the living room couch, Evanescence playing on his tv.

His friend Adam mumbled. "Rodrick, will we get famous like that?" Rodrick looked up at the tv as he finally got time free from munching snacks.

"Adam, I can see it. In 10 years, people will fly from all over the world just to see us perform. We will do actual world tours." His friends looked at him, smiling as he continued.

Rodrick stood on his couch. "We will tour South America, Europe, and Asia." His friends cheered, but a particular cheer caught his attention. He turned around to see his girl Y/n clapping for him. He leapt over the couch, picked her up without effort, and twirled her around. "And you, my sweet girl, will manage our band."

Y/n put her hand on her chest. "It will be an honour, rockstar."

Rodrick couldn't help but blush. He loved it when Y/n would take pride in his music and would talk about it with her friends. He thanked his lucky stars that he found her.

"You got real quiet there. What are you thinking?" Y/n whispered as she fixed his hair.

"I am so lucky that you love me. You have always supported me, always been so kind to me. Although you can get annoying when I don't shower." He cupped her face, dodging her fingers as she tried to tickle him.

"Come on, sit with me, doll. Watch as history happens." Rodrick tugged her to where he was sitting with his friends. They all greeted her with a smile and went back to suggesting titles for their songs. He smirked when she sat on his lap, pecking her cheek as he started discussing song titles with his friends.

................................................................................

Y/n suddenly woke up and realised it had got dark outside. She looked around and realised she was still sitting on Rodrick's lap. She looked up and smiled as her heart was filled with love as she saw him sleeping peacefully.

She started to get up, but Rodrick's grip on her waist tightened. Y/n pinched his nose as a smirk spread on his lips. Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Greg is at Rowley's home, and Mom and Dad have taken Manny to Grandma's home. It's just you and me at home right now," he smirked as he wrapped her arms around her waist.

"What are you planning?" Y/n asked as the back of her finger brushed his cheek.

"Just stay with me. We don't have to do anything. I just want to hold you." His chocolate-brown eyes looked at her, pleading for her to stay.

Y/n nodded. "Ok. I'll stay, and you can rant about Greg all you want."

She felt like she fell more in love with him as his face lightened up and he held her closer to him. Y/n heard him taking a deep breath as she laid her head on his chest.

She looked up at him. "Is something bothering you?"

Rodrick's eyes widened. It always took him by surprise how she always took him by surprise how she would know how he really felt. He sighed, trying to find the correct words to say.

"I made pretty big promises in front of my friends. But what if we don't fulfil those promises."

Y/n realised he was getting insecure. "Now, it's not just your dream to do a world tour, Rodrick. It's your goal. It's one of your biggest goals. Take one step at a time. Do your shows locally, get a professional manager, and keep working on your music...there are so many things to do, Rodrick, and you have just started. So please don't give up." she kissed him as she held his hand, letting him know she was there for him.

Rodrick broke the kiss. He needed to see her, to take her beauty in. "I don't deserve you." He breathlessly mumbled against her lips before kissing her again. "I love you so much." he peppered kisses all over her face. He had to let her know how much he loved her.

"And I love you too, rockstar." Y/n kissed him back as a promise to be with him through thick and thin.

A/N: I know I am late sorry. I got busy anyways I hope you like it. REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED.

#rodrick heffley x reader #rodrick heffley x y/n #rodrick heffley x fem!reader #rodrick x reader #rodrick x y/n #rodrick heffley #rodrick rules #diary of a wimpy kid imagines #diary of a wimpy kid rodrick #diary of a wimpy kid rodrick rules #diary of a wimpy kid #greg heffley #rodrick heffley fanfic #rodrick heffley fluff #rodrick heffley fanfiction #rodrick fanfic #devon bostick x reader #devon bostick #ask turvi #turvi writes

[goatcheesecak3]

I'm so excited you're taking requests, AHH! Could you possibly write some hcs for cuddling w/ Rodrick :0

I would absolutely love to write this, thank you for the idea! And thank you for being my first ever request :^)

Without further ado, here's my headcanons for cuddling with Rodrick, enjoy!

He likes it when you lay on his chest while watching a film, he always jokes that he's your pillow and you're his blanket.

He likes it even more when he's laying on your chest, nuzzling his face into you just to be as close as humanly possible. In all honesty, sometimes it feels like he's trying to burrow into your skin.

He's very needy, while he lays on your chest he'll often whinge and say things like "if you really loved me you'd be playing with my hair right now", and if you stop he whines and sleepily pulls your hand back to his head.

Sometimes he likes to be the little spoon, pressing his back into your chest as much as he can, because once again, even when you're as close as humanly possible it's never close enough for him.

When he's the little spoon you lean over and give him lots of little kisses on his cheek and in the crook of his neck, causing him to let out happy little sleepy hums.

He likes for you to be the little spoon most of the time, not because he's being assertive or protective or anything, but because he loves treating you as his teddy bear. He holds you incredibly tight- maybe even too tight sometimes- and if you have to get up for whatever reason he pouts and whines until you go back.

His constant need for cuddles isn't limited to when you're behind closed doors. When you're hanging out with his friends after band practice he always makes sure you're sat on his lap, his arms hugging round your waist and his head leaning on your shoulder.

Sometimes he lets himself get so clingy that it's almost a pain (but he's too cute for you to be mad at him). When you're cooking sometimes he'll come into the kitchen and hug you from behind, watching curiously as you cook and asking lots of questions - and nearly getting both of you burnt in the process because he's completely oblivious to hot pans and stoves.

Sometimes he likes to snuggle up next you, clinging onto one of your arms like a teddy. When he feels bored or like he hasn't got enough attention for a while he'll playfully bite your arm, which you know is your cue to start giving him affection. "Aw come here my handsome man" patting your chest for him to snuggle up closer.

He falls asleep on you all the time, and he snores and mumbles in his sleep. If he isn't laying on your arms sometimes you take your phone and record it to embarass him with later, although secretly you find it adorable.

That's all I got for now! I really hope you enjoyed, and I hope I did my first ever request some justice :^)

#rodrick #diary of a wimpy kid #doawk #rodrick rules #rodrick heffley #diary of a wimpy kid rodrick #rodrick hefflei #rodrick headcanon #doawk rodrick #rodrick x y/n #rodrick x reader #rodrick heffley headcanon #my hcs #headcanon #headconon #rodrick fanfic #devon bostick

[disaster-writer]

Teenage Dirtbag (Part 1/2)

Pairing: Rodrick Heffley x Reader

Summary: You and Rodrick Heffley grew up right next door to each other. You’re best friends and nothing could ever change that… at least that’s what you’ve always thought.

Rating: R 18+

Word count: 5k

A/N: I do not have a taglist

Suburbia.

Middle class, overwhelmingly white, everybody knows your name, suburbia.

You hated it, you were making a run for it once you graduated and you were going to make it big time.

That is, if you could just survive your annoying little brother until then—

“Give it back you little turd—“

”Mom said no more name calling!” Your eleven year old brother giggled as he ran opposite of you around the dining room table. He held your toaster waffle in his grimy little hands. 

”I don’t give a shit— you’re gonna make me late!” You ran left and he ran right, swiftly evading you.

”What? Afraid your boyfriend is gonna ditch you and make you walk to school!” He practically cackled.

”Rodricks not my— ughh, just give me my breakfast you shit!” You leapt across the table, making your brother squeal like a little girl.

”(Y/N),” your mother suddenly hissed, entering the kitchen, “What did I say about name calling?”

”He stole my breakfast,” you threw back, laying across the table.

”David give your sister her waffle back. And both of you, go over to the Heffley’s already, Susan’s doing me a favor by driving you to school David, don’t keep her waiting.” Your mother said pointedly, her heels clipping against the linoleum floor as she moved about the kitchen to get her coffee brewed before heading off to work.

She continued talking but as your eyes landed back on your brother, her voice suspiciously morphed into the teachers voice from the peanuts.

Your brothers eyes landed on you as well, your waffle held in the air. Both your eyes darting back and forth to the breakfast food. That was until he daringly put the waffle in his mouth and took a bite.

That’s fucking it—

“You know what mom?” You suddenly jumped off the table, sounding chipper, “Rodrick said that he could give David a ride to school instead.”

”What?” your brother asked apprehensively, suddenly shaking in his shoes at your words.

”Huh? Really?” She asked surprised, turning to look at you, “Rodrick Heffley said he’d drive your brother to school?” She clearly wasn’t buying it. After years and years of seeing that boy hang around you, she knew he wasn’t handing out favors.

”Yeah, really.” You grinned, your gaze suddenly snapping to your brother and pinning him to the spot. A threat and a promise hanging in the air.

”Well… tell him I said thank you then. And honey, don’t you think you went a little heavy on the eyeliner today— what did you do to your jeans!” She then hissed in horror at the gaping holes in the knees of your pants.

”Leave me alone, it’s cool,” you scoffed and walked around the table, grabbing your brothers arm tight and dragging him out of the kitchen. 

“You’re joking— Rodrick doesn’t even have backseats—“ your brother panicked behind you.

”I know. Maybe think twice about whose waffle you decide to eat.” The two of you grabbed your backpacks before you opened and slammed the front door behind you.

“This is a cruel and unusual punishment— you can go to jail for this—“

”Can it idiot,” you snapped, dragging your brother to the house right next door. The house that belonged to the Heffleys.

You knocked on their front door before letting yourself in. It was practically your second home at this point and Susan told you not to even bother waiting for someone to answer the door. 

You pushed him forward before letting yourself in.

“Hi Susan, Hi Frank,” you called out, not bothering to greet them properly before bounding up the stairs and letting your brother wander around on his own in search of Greg. You heard muffled responses from the kitchen.

Once on the second floor you headed straight for the attic staircase, taking two at a time before finding the lump under the bedsheets you were looking for.

Now it was time for your favorite game.

You made your way over to Rodricks bed, grabbing two drumsticks on the way. You weren’t even trying to be quiet, floorboards creaking loudly under your feet.

Soon you stood above him, a devious grin painted on your face at how peaceful he looked in his sleep.

Time to ruin that.

You took both drumsticks and carefully stuck each of them up his nose, giggling quietly as you managed to get them to stay stuck in his nose. You then quickly took out your phone and started taking as many pictures of him as you could before he woke up.

Rodrick sniffled, trying to breathe past the objects obstructing his airway. You giggled harder watching as his nostrils twitched and flared and soon his whole face was screwed up in discomfort.

You burst out loudly in a fit of laughter, doubling over as he shot out of bed in a panic, the drumsticks falling out of his nose with gravity.

His groggy mind took a second to grasp the situation, but once it did he was quickly reaching out for you.

”You little—“

You yelped as his arms wrapped around your waist and he pulled you down against the bed with him. You struggled in his grasp, still laughing as he pinned you against his chest. 

“Let. Go.” You wheezed through your laughter.

”Delete those photos!”

You continued to struggle in his grasp before he suddenly let go, causing you to fall off the bed with a grunt.

You blinked, staring up at the ceiling until Rodricks head popped over the side of his bed. His eyes narrowing.

”Stealing my look?”

You scoffed, “You don’t own eyeliner Heffley— by the way, you have to drive my brother to school today.”

”What? Why?” He complained, eyes following you as you stood up and plopped yourself right on his bed.

”I need to teach the little shit a lesson.”

”And you had to drag me into it,” he flopped backwards onto his bed.

“Coming from the guy that drags me into nearly every stupid idea he has.”

”You come willingly,” he said, pointing at you with a drumstick.

”Sure I do. Now get dressed so we can go,” you jumped to your feet, sprinting back down the stairs, whatever he said next falling on deaf ears.

You made your way back down stairs and into the kitchen where the rest of the Heffley’s, plus your brother, were gathered.

You sat yourself down and kicked your feet up on the breakfast table, reaching over for a pop tart that sat out on the table.

”Mornin’” you greeted through a mouthful of food.

”Morning…” Frank trailed off, staring at your feet propped up right next to him. The newspaper in his hand forgotten.

”Honey, you know what I’ve said about feet on the table.”

You sighed, pulling your feet off and sitting cross legged on the chair instead. “Sorry.”

”That’s alright and uh… you look nice?”

”Thanks,” you grinned.

”Yeah, the makeup is a bold choice,” Greg muttered sarcastically, making your brother laugh.

You narrowed your eyes and shut the both of them up. Greg had always gotten on your nerves the same way your little brother did.

”Rodrick said he’d drive Greg and David to school so you don’t have to.”

”He is?” Susan questioned. However, her shock quickly turned into excitement, “And he suggested this himself?”

”Sure did,” you grinned, taking another bite of your pop tart.

”Why would he do that?” Greg asked.

”Maybe your brother’s turning a new coin, don’t stop him from growing as a person.”

Suddenly, all six of you heard a shriek, your heads whipping towards the staircase as Rodrick stomped down the stairs.

”Mom! What did you do to my pants!?” He exclaimed, running into the kitchen, lifting a leg and pointing to the matter at hand.

Your gaze followed where he directed and you had to stifle a laugh. 

For some reason, the rips in his jeans were patched with baby pink fabric.

”Oh, I fixed them for you,” Susan grinned, satisfied with herself. “They were torn to shreds so I patched them up.”

Rodrick stared at his mother with wide eyes, completely at a loss for how to respond, “I ripped them on purpose. And why did you use pink!” You bit down on your lip to keep from laughing, as his voice was becoming squeaky with frustration.

Susan rolled her eyes with a shake of her head, “Honestly Rodrick, I do you a favor and you only complain about it. Why would you rip your jeans in the first place? So you can look sloppy at school?”

”He wants to trick people into thinking he’s a famous rockstar,” you threw in. “I told him it was a stupid idea and that he was wasting the hard earned money you spend on his clothes by tearing them up but he just wouldn’t listen to reason,” you shrugged.

”Wha— It was your idea!” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking abou— ahh,” you yelped as Rodrick charged forward and grabbed your leg, lifting it above the table and practically knocking you off the chair. Manny suddenly clapping with all the commotion.

”See! You did it too,” he pointed to the giant rips at the knees in your jeans, “She’s lying mom, she helped me rip them—“

”Okay, enough,” Susan said sharply, “She’s not my child so I can’t scold her. And it’s already— 7:45,” She suddenly gasped, seeing how late it was, “Will you all get ready so you’re not late to school.”

”Fine. Where are my other jeans?” Rodrick asked, dropping your leg and making you grunt.

”In the wash. I checked all your other pairs for tears and they all smelled so I’m washing them now. You’re lucky I set aside a pair for you this morning.”

”You’re saying, I have to go to school in these?” Rodrick asked, pointing at the monstrosity in question.

”Yes. Maybe next time you’ll think twice before ruining your clothes. Now all of you go.”

You sighed, getting up from your seat and slinging your backpack over your shoulder, your pop tart still in hand.

You glanced down at Rodrick’s jeans again and scoffed out another laugh, before passing him.

”Gimme that,” Rodrick scoffed right back, snatching your pop tart and shoving it in his mouth.

”Hey— that was mine!”

”I don’t care, traitor,” Rodrick’s words muffled by the pop tart, “C’mon turd nuggets,” he yelled over his shoulder to the middle schoolers, who nervously followed you two.

”Calm down already. I’ll help you rip the patches off,” you rolled your eyes, pulling the front door open with him suddenly pushing you forward.

The younger kids shut the door behind all of you.

”I can’t with those two,” Susan sighed. “All these years and I still can’t figure out if they’re good or bad influences on each other.”

”Well, anyone that can keep Rodrick from sleeping straight through an entire day is good in my books,” Frank said, placing his newspaper down, and taking a sip of his coffee. 

“… You’re sure you don’t think they’re in a relationship?” Susan asked, making Frank sigh.

“We’ve been over this honey. Rodrick’s too… he’s not…” Frank tried to select the words carefully as to not say out loud that he thought his son was dumb as a box of rocks. “I just don’t think he’d be able to keep a secret like that.”

”Yeah… you’re right I guess. They just— they seem to be,” Susan glanced at her youngest son, choosin her own words carefully now, “Very comfortable with each other.”

Frank looked up in thought, thinking about how close the two of you seemed… how much closer the two of you seemed after this summer specifically…. Even more specifically after a certain vacation you guys went on with your friends back in July. “You don’t think they’ve…”

Susan raised her eyebrows and shrugged.

”No— no, they couldn’t have.”

”I don’t know Frank. I’m just saying it’s something we should look out for. You know how teenagers are.”

Frank swallowed nervously at the thought of mini Rodricks running around the house.

—

If you had to choose, this was probably your favorite pastime. Riding around in the Löded Diper van, screaming Guns N Roses at the top of yours and Rodricks terrible voices, all the while tormenting your little brothers in the back.

Nothing beats this.

“Welcome to the jungle!— stop moving! I’m gonna stab you!” You yelled over the music as your head was practically in Rodricks lap as you tried to rip up the patches from his jeans… which wasn’t exactly a good look for either of you if anyone decided to look in.

”I’m trying!” He yelled back, “I can’t when I’m driving— stop pushing on my leg, you’re gonna make me hit the car in front of us.”

”You want these patches off or what?”

Rodrick just grunted in response, slamming on the breaks at a red light.

Your brothers’ screams in the back were like music to both of your ears.

“We’re gonna die,” David panted as both him and Greg finally stopped flying around the back of the van.

”I know,” Greg responded. “Why do we get stuck with these two as our siblings— I know someone whose brother takes him out for ice cream after school every Friday.”

”With our luck Rodrick and (Y/N) will get married one day and then we’ll never be able to get rid of them.”

”Ew— ahh!” Greg’s nose screwed up in disgust at the idea of you two marrying each other, right before being jolted backwards as Rodrick slammed on the gas.

A few more minutes of driving and you all came to another rough stop, the music clicking off. “Get out losers,” Rodrick yelled behind him, lifting his leg so you could get a better angle at ripping the threads.

”But we’re not at school,” Greg said, peering out the back window.

”You both have two legs. Walk,” You answered back, throwing a pink patch behind your seats.

”You two just wanna make out, don’t you,” Your brother spat.

You and Rodrick instinctively looked at each other, faces screwed up in disgust.

”Ew,” he hissed.

”As if,” you scoffed, “Now go before I kick your ass.”

You managed to rip off the rest of the patches before school started, his jeans once again looking like the distressed mess you both created in the first place. And you only got away with one stab to his leg, and a little bit of blood but he didn’t need to know about that part.

Parking the van, you both stumbled out, making your way to the building for another day full of napping through lessons.

And hey, you were only twenty minutes late today.

—

You truly didn’t understand why you and the rest of your friends even bothered with school at this point. You weren’t sure a single one of you got through an entire day without skipping or falling asleep in at least one class and you all just copied off of others homework.

Those friends, being the rest of the members of Löded Diper… you didn’t have many girlfriends, for some reason they thought it was weird you hung out around these guys so much. But you didn’t care, you were all going to be famous after high school. You were only a roadie and supporter of the band but that wasn’t going to stop you from becoming famous.

Before you knew it, this fine Friday was over and you and the band would be free for the entire weekend to screw around like usual.

By 3:10 you were climbing into the passenger side of Rodrick’s van once again. Rodrick in the drivers seat and the rest of the guys in the back.

As if on cue, an arm was thrown around the back of your seat and a head popped between you and Rodrick. 

“Hello beautiful,” Ben greeted, leaning forward to place a kiss on your cheek only to be stopped by your hand against his face.

”Hi Ben,” you grinned, “And how was your day?”

”Good,” he mumbled against your hand, picking his lips against your palm in a weak kiss.

”Enough,” Rodrick said, pushing his friend into the back by the shoulder.

”I’m impressed,” you said, seeing all three of them there, “Not a single one of us got detention today.”

”No, I did,” Chris said, “I’m just skipping.”

”Nice,” the rest of you nodded.

With that Rodrick put the van into drive and sped out of the school’s parking lot.

Unlike your little brothers, Ben, Chris, and eventually Bill once you picked him up, actually knew how to have fun. They all laughed and cheered as they were being thrown around the van instead of whining like a bunch of babies.

Finally making it into the garage of the Heffley’s house you found yourself making yourself comfortable on the couch in the garage as Löded Diper began their rehearsal, cheering for them as they all played.

The other thing about the suburbs was when you were stuck in high school and you lived in the suburbs, the monotony of it all took quite the toll on you. There was nothing to keep you occupied, no way to have fun, which was why you and Rodrick were usually left to your own devices and had to find the fun somewhere else.

You would include the other guys as you were all together for the most part, but living right next door to the Heffleys and not only that, being able to see into each other’s rooms, you and Rodrick did tend to spend most of your time together. Because even when you weren’t allowed to see each other due to being grounded or whatnot, you still both snuck each other into the other’s room just to hang out.

Huh… you were starting to see why your brother was convinced you two were dating.

And maybe you would if you were Heather or Rodrick was… literally anybody else.

It was an hour into rehearsal already, you bopped your head along with the atrocious music, singing their awful lyrics to yourself.

That was until Susan came in.

”Rodrick,” she tried, but they kept playing, “Rodrick,” she tried again, this time effectively getting all of you to shut up. “I need to talk to you inside. Now.”

”Oooh,” you instigated, quickly shutting up when Susan shot you a look.

Rodrick stood up, walking around the drumset, “Go ahead and talk. We’re a band,” he came to a stop in front of his mom, “We have no secrets.”

”Okay, fine.” She then pulled out a magazine from behind her back and held it in front of her. Your eyes nearly popped out of your head at the dirty magazine she found.

Rodrick was stunned, “Tha—“ he pointed at the magazine, “That’s not mine,” he was wavering, you could tell.

”Well, it was in your backpack—“

”No, it was in my room.”

Idiot.

“Does owning this magazine make you a better person?” 

It looked like it was time for a lecture.

“No.”

”Did it make you more popular at school?”

“Yes,” Rodrick nodded, looking around at all of you before his eyes landed back on his mom and he realized that that was in fact the wrong answer, “No.” he quickly took back.

“How do you feel about,” she took a step forward, “Having owned this, type of magazine?”

Rodrick thought for a second, “… Ashamed,” he grinned.

”Nice,” Chris cheered.

Susan nodded, her grip so tight on the magazine that you were sure she’d rip it any second. She took another step forward, face to face with her son, “Do you have anything you want to say,” she placed a hand over her heart, “To women. For having owned this offensive magazine?”

Rodrick stared down at his mom, struggling for words.

“I’m sorry, women.”

The rest of the guys started clapping for Rodrick until Susan pinned them with a sharp look, making them stop.

”And I want you to apologize to (Y/N).”

Rodrick scoffed, glancing at you on the couch before looking back at his mom, “Why?”

”Why?” Susan asked, affronted, “Because she is a beautiful young woman that you consider a friend. Owning this magazine is offensive to girls like her.”

”Um… I don’t really care Susan—“ you quickly shut your mouth as she shot you another look.

”Yeah but (Y/N) isn’t like a woman woman,” Rodrick said.

“Excuse me?” Susan hissed.

”Y’know what I mean,” he was starting to flounder again, “She-she’s not like the women in the magazine…” he trailed off.

”What? Just because she isn’t taking naked photos on motorcycles, you don’t consider her a woman?”

”I wouldn’t be opposed to that,” Ben suddenly tried to joke, making you roll your eyes.

Susan ignored him, watching as Rodrick really didn’t know the answer to these questions anymore. “Uh— yes— no. I don’t know, she’s just (Y/N)—“

”Apologize,” she cut him off sharply.

Rodrick then shuffled his way to you, standing in front of your seated form, “I’m sorry for owning that magazine (Y/N).”

“And,” Susan snapped.

”And for not seeing you as a woman…?” He glanced back at his mom to make sure he said the right thing but was only met with an eye roll.

”I forgive you,” you played along, “And don’t worry. I don’t see you as a man,” you grinned sharply as the others all cheered at your diss.

“You’re grounded for two weeks,” Susan said, she was so angry her voice was shaking. She then swiftly turned around and began to stalk out of the garage.

”Ok settle down Susan. I think one week is plenty!”

She quickly turned back around on her heel, “Make it four weeks and I’m gonna need the keys to your van!”

”My van?”

”Yes. Your van. And I want all of you out of here in an hour.” With that she turned around and left the garage.

”I’m gonna become a stripper just to spite you Heffley,” you grunted in annoyance at his whole woman comment about you.

”Yes! I support you (Y/N)!” Ben cheered. 

“Yeah that’ll show me,” Rodrick grumbled, “Let’s just get one more song in.” With that he seated himself behind his drum set and the boys practiced for some more.

—

“I bet you feel pretty stupid now for owning that magazine,” you called out, sitting on the roof just outside your window, staring up at Rodrick as he leaned out his window.

”I don’t even know how she found it,” he practically whined. “I hid it under my bed, and she never checks there anymore after The Thing she found under there.”

”Oh right, that.” You shivered at the memory of what you and Rodrick now called ‘The Thing’ that may have been alive at one point under his bed. “Did she take your keys yet.”

”Yeah.”

”Are you banned from driving to school too?”

”I’m banned from driving anywhere. That includes your car.”

”Shit.” You hissed. That meant you’d have to drive the two of you to school instead and you weren’t exactly comfortable behind the wheel yet.

A comfortable silence filled the air between you two, and you sighed, basking in the cooling air as the sun was setting.

”Y’know Heather Hills asked about you today.”

”Really?”

”No,” you laughed. He always fell for that.

He frowned, ”Yeah well, Nick asked about you today.”

”Really?”

”No,” he laughed loudly.

Oh right. You always fell for that too.

”Asshole.”

”Bitch.”

“I’m gonna tell your mother you’re not being very respectful towards women again.”

”Then have fun driving me to school for two months instead of one.”

”Whatever,” you grumbled under your breath. “Are we still hanging out tomorrow or are you taking the grounding thing seriously this time.”

”We can hang,” he grumbled gnawing at a hangnail now. “Y’know it was probably my stupid brother that told her.”

”Maybe it was. He likes sneaking into your room doesn’t he.”

”Yeah…. Yeah,” Rodrick’s eyes lit up as he seemed to realize something, “That little—“ Rodrick quickly took off after that, leaving you to laugh at the entire situation by yourself.

—

People often wonder why me and Rodrick aren’t a couple. And I always tell them that I grew up with him. I see him nearly 24/7. He’s usually the first person I talk to in the morning. We have breakfast together, go to school together, we even share a bunch of the same classes. We usually even get detention together. We also torture our brothers together.

And what am I supposed to do after school when I’m bored and alone at home? Well I’d just have to go over to my best friends house that I’ve already seen all day anyway, because what else am I supposed to do? And what? Am I just not supposed to hang out with him and the other guys when they come over to rehearse. We even used to have sleepovers a lot when we were younger, but ever since high school our parents banned us from those. I think they’re scared we’re gonna fuck or something.

As if.

Rodrick’s more like a brother to me I think. I mean, I see him just as much if not more than my own brother anyway.

So of course I wouldn’t fuck him. You don’t fuck your brother bcuz ew.

Anyway… today Rodrick got grounded today because his mom found one of his dirty magazines. I was pretty sure Greg was to blame and turns out I was right, Rodrick texted me like ten minutes ago that Greg stole his stash and was holding them as black mail. But Rodrick managed to get him to give them back. So much for Greg’s plan I guess.

And now I’m just writing in here, sitting on the bathroom floor, naked in a towel. I just took a shower and I’m being too lazy to get dressed right now… I’m blasting some Metallica right now and damn they’re good. Too bad Löded Diper doesn’t sound like them. At least they got passion I guess.

Anyway… I guess I should stop being lazy and actually get dressed. 

You slammed your diary shut, shaking out your cramped writing hand. 

You stood up, not bothering to take the towel with you and just abandoning it on your bathroom floor along with your diary. You sang softly along to Master of Puppets playing in your bedroom, nodding your head along to the beat.

You shoved your bathroom door open, the music in your bedroom louder now as you swayed along to it. 

You bounded over to your dresser, leaving damp foot prints in your carpet. You jumped over the blood stain on your rug. You had Rodrick to thank for that one after he cracked a bat over your head, thinking you were Greg instead… the entire week after that was a blur.

You pulled open your underwear drawer with the one good knob, the knob missing on the other side of the drawer was thanks to your brother crashing into your dresser one day.

You pulled out a pair and shimmied them up your legs as you continued to dance along with the music.

Now however, there was a full concert on blast in your head. It took you a while to find the discarded T-shirt you usually slept in, especially with the distraction of the music playing but eventually you found it rolled up in your comforter as usual. And finally as the song ended you pulled on the Löded Diper t-shirt Rodrick made for you.

However, what you saw quickly got rid of the good mood you were in. Because once your head popped through the hole, you made direct eye contact with Rodrick Heffley through your windows.

You forgot to close your fucking blinds.

He was in shock… you were in shock. His jaw hung open, eyes popping out of his head.

The next thing that happened you were sure the entire neighborhood heard as you and Rodrick both screamed at the top of your lungs. He ran straight out of his room and you ran straight for the blinds that you quickly shut.

Your best friend just saw you butt ass naked.

—

Extra:

Frank walked into his bedroom, ready to settle down for the night after a long night of painting his Civil War figurines. 

As he began unbuttoning his button down, he had found his wife already in bed with a magazine in hand.

Everything seemed as usual… that was until he did a double take of the magazine in her hands.

”Uh… Honey?” He asked carefully, approaching her side of the bed. “Whatcha reading?”

“I found this in Rodrick’s backpack today,” she huffed, clearly still angry with her son.

”Okay… is there a reason you’re ‘reading’ it then?”

She looked up at her husband. “I was about to toss it out when I realized some of the pages were dog eared, so like any concerned mother I decided to take a look at what exactly my son is looking at so often that he has to dog ear it.”

”Right, yeah. Cause that’s… rational,” Frank spoke hesitantly.

”And look!” She opened one of the pages that were dog eared and showed Frank a two page spread of some naked woman. Frank quickly panicked and looked up at the ceiling.

“Uh huh?” He nodded.

”Frank, tell me who this girl looks like.”

Frank glanced back down carefully at the pages, before his eyes widened in realization. He yanked the magazine from her hands.

”She— That’s (Y/N)!” He realized in horror that his son was actively searching for naked women that looked like his best friend, whether or not he was aware of that, Frank didn’t know. 

Suddenly saying it out loud sent a shiver down both their spines and Frank quickly shut the magazine. They both agreed that was enough for tonight.

But the vision of the mini Rodricks was becoming more and more vivid by the second.

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