#I REALLY can't do exams

[bluespiritshonour]

here's 18-19 year old aang sketches. been hearing aang is ugly discourse—no he ain't. he was just 12.

#i really wanted to take part in zukaang bingo but the urge to art struck me a little later #i still might make something else later #enough art for now #i'd try to participate in maiko week but i'm not sure #it's smack in the middle of end semester exams #ink blot #avatar fanart #avatar the last airbender #atla #artists on tumblr #fanart #avatar aang #why did i never use the pencil brush before?!?! i seriously have a personality flaw where i just don't explore stuff. #can you believe i've been using the same fucking brush for lineart ever since i started digital art? #anyways! i don't know how the pencil brush would feel like if i go for colours but this is impeccable. #I have more control over stuff and i love the result #so #i have promised myself i'd be fucking off this hellsite because i have a huge backlog of work that needs to be done #and i'm presently suffering from “can't help but art”. so #yeah. y'all would probably see me around maiko week. byeee! #if i deprive myself of drawing for too long it bursts out of me like this where i do nothing but draw #not healthy at all

[totally-italy]

Update because @the-red-planet-mars said that it would be a good way of motivating me

I have started planning my English homework but it is really boring and I don't want to do it. Genuinely, please motivate me to do the whole entire thing because I really don't want to ask my teacher for an extension. I know she would probably give it to me, particularly because I have two of my GCSE papers that morning, but I have asked her for so many extensions this year and I would feel so bad if I asked her for another one. Why are English papers so boring though?

I have updated the whiteboard with my 'Aeneid' translation.

I have found a Quizlet with the entire vocabulary list necessary for the Spanish GCSEs and I have created one with the vocabulary relating to 'The Aeneid' that I will need for the End of Year exams, though I might have to update it soon.

I just did an Italian listening practice paper. I genuinely disagree with the mark scheme but I got 39/40 anyhow. I technically transcribed one of them incorrectly but I rushed that part and will be more careful tomorrow so we won't count that.

I started planning what I will be saying for my French oral, particularly regarding the picture, but I will be planning practice questions after I have done my two Italian papers tomorrow and I will just casually ignore the fact that the reading paper exists because it is not too bad and I have it on Friday anyhow. I will probably do a practice paper, but not now is not the time, despite it being more tempting the writing one.

I still desperately need to practice my Italian grammar and then do a practice writing paper, since thus far I have only done my mocks as practice. I should probably research Virgil and also actually do my English homework, but that is a problem for later. If you could possibly motivate me, without just casually spamming the comments, I would genuinely appreciate that basically pretend that there are the same rules as last time.

@the-lovely-planet-earth, @denmark-forreal and @too-much-of-a-menace

#I don't really want to do all of this #I feel like I haven't really accomplished anything #I mean #I literally got more dopamine from all of y'all than I did from completing the tasks #Plus #I didn't complete all of them and I felt like clarifying that so that y'all know the extent of what I did rather than just romanticising it #But now I feel bad because I should have done more and I barely did anything #How are people functional? #Anyway #That is what I have managed to do #Please help motivate me I am begging y'all #I don't want to fail the Italian GCSE just because I can't really deal with life right now #Moreover #If this is my work ethic right now #I am surely going to fail the majority of my exams next year #If not all of them #Help #l'italiana parla

[hauntedmoors]

mental illness speedrun

#I feel so ill about those episodes that I can't even post about them #text #I finished the show by the way. those are the fastest 177 episodes I have ever watched. during exam season of all things sadkjfhsdfhskg. #my final verdict is that the show fucks severely until season 7 1/2 after which it kind of sucks. it also loses its track somewhat post #s6 1/2 and starts repeating rehashing and contradicting its messages but otherwise it isn't Bad or Mediocre the way those last episodes are #anyway. media embracing absurdism and committing to the bit are catnip to me and house md/tlt/disco elysium really hit that sweet spot <3 #do you know what they also have in common? gay people / discussions of love sex and power that make you insane / maladjusted protagonists - #- failing to succeed under exploitative systems / and most importantly gothic hauntings and entrapment. #house md

[heroniack]

Him decided why not visit his fav champ

My friend let me borrow him :]]

Music: Shop - The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

#I made this instead of doing my exams-- #I can't really resist making this.. #Leon didn't expect him to pay a visit #Boii thought he was dreamin' #pokemon swsh #champion leon #leon #dande #raihan #kibana #raileon #kbdn #truerivalshipping

[moss-ghoulette]

My computer is dead so I have time to paint

#All materials for my exam are on this old piece of shit #So I can't really do anything #:( #art #drawing #discworld #river ankh #ankh morpork

[da-proti-toku-grem]

venting in the tags again bc i'm literally shaking right now wtf

#god i hate it so much #my exams start on monday and i'm not even halfway through everything i need to know for my first exam #i've had all the holidays to study but i just can't concentrate on anything #i've been in my room all day every day (except the days i spent w family like christmas and new year ofc) #and seemingly i'm studying all day #my family thinks i spend all day studying #but the only thing i'm capable of doing most of the time is stare at the things i have to do w/o having any idea of wtf i'm doing #my brain won't shut tf up and telling me stuff that i know are not true #but i just can't #i feel like i've been having an anxiety attack non stop since this monday #not very bad most of the time but it doesn't really stop yk? #and i feel like i have a weight on my chest that i can't really take off #i've been going to therapy and we've come to the conclusion that the cause of my anxiety overall are my studies #(not counting my social anxiety that's been getting worse every day to the point that i don't even want to go out with my best friends) #which doesn't really surprise me but it's just Too Much #i just want to drop everything but since idk what i'd do if i quit this career i chose to do my exams #bc maybe they are useful if i do change my path #but i just can't find it in me to focus and study because my mind is racing all the time #i just want to lie down and cry but i don't even have the strength to do that #i just feel so weak and miserable ever since i started uni and every day it gets worse and worse #my mind just screams at me saying #'stop complaining all the time. no one cares. everyone goes through stuff like that. you're no different. stfu and study like everyone does' #and i know i could do it if i tried but i just can't #why tf is it so difficult to be normal and do what i'm supposed to do for once ffs.... #venting #maca speaks

[iloveyouitisruiningmylife]

spending my whole life trying and trying and trying and trying to be good enough for people who don't give a fuck about me

#im so tired living seems pointless why am i doing this what is the reason #the firm i work at is going thru a merger so it's releasing all the interns except 2 #i went into her office and said that id like to stay here bc my dad said so bc i got in cause he was friends with the head #and she said ill think about it based on performance ive not decided yet #and this other guy he went in to tell her that cool he'll leave and she told him that she was hoping that he'd stay #he literally does nothing but play games on his phone he doesn't work at all #i have no idea what he has that i don't #but just. im stuck like this forever right never ever good enough for people i like or care about #not for parents they have a diff fav child not for ex gf not for bestie who has a boyfriend much better at loving her than me #not for that one guy who rejected me in interview bc i don't read the newspaper and didn't know the date of the finance act #im so fucking sick of this i never even wanted to this fuckinh course and obviously even my best isn't enough and ofc im not good enough #for anyone in this field and ill just struggle and struggle and struggle all my life just to earn some fucking money so i can live away #from my sociopathic parents #and the worst part is that i can't stop feeling like maybe it IS me yk maybe i am the problem maybe im not trying hard enough #but how else am i supposed to handle this i prioritize my studies and lose all my friends i prioritise my friends and fail in d #exams #and the trauma keeps on coming every fucking day bc sociopathic parents but i jsut push it down and say not rn i will cry at night anx then #never cry #i wish someone would just tell me that idk you're wrong you're not made for this you really do have some mental illness and you're really #trying your best and do something that's easy and that you love doing #oh god this is now a ventpost #mes

[anglerflsh]

I'm having a normal one about wanting to get out of highschool btw

#[.txt] #''a normal one'' I broke a ruler in three different points because I couldn't do my math homework. #that's it I am going to go hit things in genshin impact until I'm regular again #and if this is the year I fail math then so be it I cannot stand this #my teacher keeps skipping material because we are late with the curriculum because of the covid years and I am not. I can't. #I don't have the time to go over it myself. I don't care for it. I'll graduate anyways #the final exam isn't only math. #I'm simply angry because I get the theory of this! I really do!! I understand derivatives and integrals and limits!!! I get it! #I can't do the problems because I'm missing material we were supposed to do! That I did not do! Because of the covid lockdown! #I want to get into a fistfight right now.

[bredforloyalty]

you know what? it's fine.

#tomorrow i either pass clinical psych or i don't pass. or i get a 3 and i'm forced to consider if it's worth trying again or not #that's fine. then i try to do something with the school psych assignment over the weekend #then i do a bit of preparing for the stupid fucking neuropsych online exam. so I don't go in blind #you gotta know how to cheat and how to use your notes y'know what i mean. #and then i start studying for the comprehensive exam and also work on the research paper #and if i fail clinical psych i can try again one or two weeks later (can't really do one bc i don't want to be back here that week) (so two) #and if i fail the comprehensive exam (or if it's crap like it's a 2 or a 3. bc it kind of needs to be a 5 bc of the degree grade) then i #try again on may 7 #and if i don't manage to finish the research paper by may 6 for the first check‚ i still have until the 19th to do it #i will make it through if it kills me.. and it shouldn't like if this tests my limits then i deserve to be hit with a #giant hammer until i die 💀

[kyouka-supremacy]

--

#This is about the last thing I could have imagined happening to me but. #A girl just slid what pretty realistically is a love letter under my door and. I really don't know what to do about it #God. I like her a lot but I also really just love her as a friend?? #I don't. I have no idea what to reply because on one hand if I said something like #“yeah every second we spend together is precious to me too I love you <3 ” I would probably. Definitely come across wrong #But at the same time I can't just reply coldly I don't want to be rude. I do enjoy the time we spend together. #I just feel that if I don't reply with the same love and dedication I will come off as rude and make her sad and I really don't want to #But also I'm like. 100% sure I'm not into her romantically #It's just. The way she talks to me in the letter makes me feel... Odd in the bad way. #She spent words of admiration on me I really feel like I can't own you know. #She seems to look up to me a lot and I don't think I should be looked up to at all. #“You're a wonderful‚ very strong‚ and intelligent person” HOW DO YOU EVEN REPLY TO THAT. #“Uh I disagree but you're entitled to your opinion”... ? #Thank you? #This is. Ugh. I'm really not fit for this kind of stuff. #I LOVE exploring characters being in love and putting them in awkward ridiculous situations that make them miserable. #I HATE to be in such situations #As if exams weren't enough. How do I deal with that #Posting this just in case anyone has genuine advice btw. How do you reject a girl you actually like a lot #And how should I even write her back. Because she said to and I'm the WORST at writing back #Sis this is stressing me off so much. I want to dig a hole and disappear in it. I'm not getting out of my room for the next six months. #(For context we live in the same students dorm) #random rambles #I'm so distressed right now this is the absolute worst. #Like I was pretty fine with where we were at but now I feel like I really don't want to spend time with her again for a long time. #Deleting this soon hopefully

[lost-my-sanity1]

chinzhilla served with that fight scene at the beach while climbing upwards. their fight scene is so packed and heart wrenching. cuz everyone was disappointed in themselves, but had no way out of it. they blamed each other, took the blame on themselves, threw hands, apologised, hugged (even tinn was included in that hug. idk what to so with that information), made up with each other.

soundwin's relationship is the most interesting thing there according to me. cuz it's damn true they are boyfriends but their past also contains them fighting (physically and verbally) with each other. and they didn't just stop that when they acknowledged their feelings. it takes time to adjust to a new setting. and I'm happy p'au is showing that. relationship is not a bed of roses. even more so when you both have sharp mouth and unbending nature. it takes a lot of compromise and forgiving each other

their fights are not childish and lovey dovey ones lovers do. it's serious everytime they fight. everytime they fight they do it with intention! I'm just so intrigued by their dynamic

and at last coming to their song HEAL, it's so amazing. yak did something goof for once. his call was so encouraging, and hopeful. he basically said what if you lost once? there are still chances in the future. keep fighting. also I present you your own song you sang to us when we lost hope. have a good night babies bye

sound and tinn joining that song was another masterpiece.

#just pouring my feelings cuz I just can't sit with it #how fitting was this episode for me??!! #cuz I did really bad in my exam and came home to chinzhilla singing to me that I can do better next time #although there is no next time for me but yea it did make me cry so hard #tinngun #soundwin #my school president

[dazais-guardian-angel]

kinda wild to me that one of the most compelling aspects of both Chuuya and Kunikida's characters to me, that I never really see talked about, is how they're heavily set on a doomed crash course towards complete and utter destruction, and how I am so, so worried for them both.....

#bungou stray dogs #been thinking a lot about chuuya lately (shocking for me i know (said with no sarcasm truly lmao it is rare for me)) #cause of the 15 manga and also playing the fucking jeht quest in genshin impact ugh (where's the one dual genshin bsd fan who Understands) #but like this pressure has been building up for chuuya for so long due to being used and manipulated by all these people #first the sheep then mori then verlaine then still mori now #he was groomed since childhood just like dazai #but unlike dazai he didn't have an oda to help him get out of the mafia........ he's still stuck there #and his personality is different from dazai's. dazai was more self-aware imo (but still a groomed emotionally abused kid don't get me wrong #but chuuya's whole thing is needing to belong and wanting a leader to be loyal to but ending up in positions of leadership himself #which makes him feel pressured but he accepts and stifles any negative feelings just because he wants to belong #and all this crushed him with the events in the light novels and yeah he went through character growth but he's...... Still In The Mafia... #and that fucking scene asagiri added to the cannibalism stage play i don't think hardly anyone even knows about bc IT'S NOT DISCUSSED ANYMO #where mori emotionally manipulates him with the flags!!! and it deeply hurts him!!! and he presumably deals with that shit all the time!!! #it is WORRISOME. it WORRIES ME okay. #chuuya doesn't have anyone who can save him from the mafia (dazai is in no position to okay; it's all he can do just to try to save himself #and it's so so scary. it spells awful things for him. #didn't asagiri say he'd have a rough path or something??? and he added that fucking scene in the play!!! it haunts me!! #i fully expected this shit to hit a turning point in the meursault arc but we can't have nice things i guess #and as for kunikida a;lskdfl (took me this long to get to him oop) literally the ending of Entrance Exam (the novel) is just #One Big Foreshadowing for Kunikida's downfall #he's compared to the azure king for a reason. Sasaki saw the azure king in him for a reason. it's fucking worrying!!!!! #there hasn't really been anything like that since in the manga (just like for chuuya lol ugh) but he's TERRIBLE at coping with his trauma #and it only gets more apparent once shit hit the fan in the doa/hunting dogs/meursault arc #it's not good!!! i'm worried for kunikida too!!!! #even if the manga isn't focusing on this these worries are always in the back of my mind man #both kunikida and chuuya are doomed to hit some kind of breaking point eventually and i await those moments with dread yet anticipation #i want dazai to be able to save kunikida from the despair being too good a person brings the way he couldn't save oda #and chuuya.... if we get a scene with him & mori mirroring the one in dark era where dazai finds out that mori orchestrated the kids' death #oh man i think i'll fucking die (give it to me i need to cry)

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

me: man i barely post lately :/

also me: i will post 5 pieces at the same time and not come back for months haha >:D

these were supposed to be small doodles.... :')

#art #illustration #my art #utmv #bad sans gang #dust sans #killer sans #cross sans #horror sans #nightmare sans #did i do this out of sheer boredom at first? yes #did i also do this because i realized i never really made an actual big piece about these bad bois? also yes #i'm so lucky i only had the effects left before i broke my arm hhh you guys still get this xD #and another post sometime later next week cause i basically can't draw for another 4 weeks or so :') #exams are also catching up to me i'm so screwed hhh help :'D #hope you guys liked everything<333

[j-and]

IT'S CRAZY! IT'S PARTY! IT'S CHA-CHA-CHA!

#They would love the song it slaps and they are green too! #I had this idea since semi. I needed it out of my head or I can't really do exams #my art #art #digital art #fanart #vocaloid #vocaloid fanart #hatsune miku #gumi #megpoid #eurovision #esc 2023 #käärijä #cha cha cha #crossover #shitpost #украрт #ukrart

[importantdestinydefendor]

So, sadly, I have a small writers block, and therefore, chapter 4 is going at very much a snail's pace. (And the more I think about some scenes in chapter 2 and 3, the more I want to scrap them completely, so there's that...)

I also have decided to have so many new art projects besides doing stuff for uni...

Long story short - have a sneak peak of one!

(I have updated Azar's design a little to suit it more to the real-life georgian armour)

You know what? Have another even more out of context one!

Muhahaha! (I have officially lost it, you guys...)

Anyways, wish me luck for my exams starting next week!

#arslan senki #the heroic legend of arslan #maaren au #firelight au #azar (oc) #yeah I don't know why I wantes to post this #what am I doing.... #please somebody sent me morivation #or energy #...or brain cells... #anything really #ugh I still have sooooo much to do besides studying for the exams! #and I'm posting this so late that I can't even write anymore...

[miodiodavinci]

oscillating rapidly and producing a low tone in the note of c

#on the one hand i am dying because i am not catching on in this new internship placement #all whilst my professors are already asking me to have my ducks in a row and send them like. #a detailed plan of what i'll be doing for my big final exam #when i don't even know what the schedule is around here or what's already been done and what still needs to be done #on the other hand my brain is so so desperate for goofing around time after spending basically the whole break working #(i took like a week off to be sick in december and then another 5 days to be sick in january) #(and then i Meaningfully took three or so days off to just. relax. in between stages of this other project) #but now i really just want to like. slack off entirely for a whole week. #(i can't do this) #(i need to start writing planning documents and making progress towards my big final exam thing) #so essentially i am weeping and dying #but at the very least a cool thing should be coming around either tomorrow or wednesday so #be on the lookout for that w #a a a a a a a a i hope it goes over well #a friend and i have been working really hard on this since last june . . . . . #(with a huge break in the middle on account of the internship hell) #but wauuughghgh save me from the hell i reside in (burn out from last semester is now following me into this one waughgh)