#I am late on my posting schedule again!! Sorry!! My brain is wanting me to do studies but if I do studies I don't finish the piece on time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mvniro · 4 months

Text

. . . (🍷) ֶָ֢ 𔓘 RIDE IT, FOLLOW MY LEAD ; a nakahara chuuya fic.❞

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍷 ꒱ . . . here, a chu fic.. in my defense, i blame my upcoming exams and busy schedule for posting so late.

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍷 ꒱ . . . tw ; older brother's bestfriend!chuuya, fem!reader, nsfw, mutual pinning but confessions aren't direct, riding, cowgirl, virginity loss, mentions of consensual prostitution, spitting (not in mouth), angst and yeah that's all i can remember.

many things are kept away or hidden from children. drugs and intoxicated substances are usually tried to keep away from the reach of addicts and the lust for blood and itching for violence is desperately being avoided by a one time murderer with crooked morals.

yet the outcome remains the same most of the time with the forbidden being taken by the one it was supposedly kept away from is the one they acquire. it's a given in due course of time.

yet still chuuya watched for years as your brother tried to play the role of a protective brother and keep you away from most of his friends and social circle, the amount of his friends you met could be pathetically counted on one hand and even they haven't met you many times to actually put an identity and persona to your face except the title of being their 'friend's little sister.'

all but one.

"shit." your brother curses lowly, closing his eyes as he tried to find a way out of this sudden complication. he opened his eyes again and glared at you who showed up unannounced.

"i-i just wanted to surprise you -- i --"

and even now the ends of chuuya's lips quirk up when he saw you standing while gulping, cowering under your brother's glare.

"it's not about coming here unannounced or announced, it's about what would have happened if you didn't know your way? you would have been lost here and i wouldn't have a clue because i would be drunk out of my mind! you hear me?" your brother exclaimed loudly yet you don't fight like you usually do for each syllable he spoke, he raised the frequency of his voice to get his words across your brain.

"i am sorry --"

"i am not angry." your brother intrupted your apology but with the way imaginary annoyance dripped down his eyes as he continued to glower down at you told you anything but that.

"i can stay at a hotel or --"

"nonsense. i am not letting my sister stay at a cheap hotel when her brother has a good enough place for her to stay." your brother once again intrupted you, he glanced at the clock and furrowed his eyebrows.

"not good, there is an hour we have left to think of some solution." your brother muttered before he turned to look up at the second floor where the two rooms are -- one belonging to him and one to chuuya.

"well the solution is standing infront of you bastard." the boastful voice belongs to the red haired who spreaded his arms and looked at your brother with eyebrows cocked, faux offense painted all over the preety features which michelangelo would be in awe of and be inspired by.

your brother mimicked his best friend by raising his own eyebrows as he demanded the man before him to answer and make his point clear and maybe this is why he turned a blind eye to the way your eyes sparkles as you stare at the red haired man who you always favored over any other man.

"she can stay with me in my room till your party is finished, no?"

"you won't be attending?" your brother furrowed his eyebrows but didn't bother saying anything as he saw chuuya walk towards you and sling an arm over your shoulder.

"i rather not have iguana cling onto me. plus it's been so long since i last saw doll, let me catch up with her?" chuuya looked at you with the same gentleness which could be found in your brother's eyes when you aren't looking at him and your brother's eyes soften.

he is staring at the man who he could trust his life with, you with.

"iguana?" you repeat, a smile threatening to break onto your face at the joy of knowing chuuya and your brother still hold onto their silly habit of giving nicknames to people so they can shit on them later

"yeah doll, iguana is a verrrrry mean and bitchy girl." chuuya widened his eyes playfully to faux seriousness, comfortingly squeezing your forearm as he joked with you.

the tragedy started when the poverty ridden man found illegal means to acquire quick cash to fill his stomach.

and tragedy began when your brother, a man of looks and a bad personality which rich girls usually swoon over met his pandora's box and never closed it for what easy way to make money then to be the fantasy of girls who eat french cuisine for breakfast, italian for lunch and japanese for dinners? and who can make him experience success better then those boys who drives ferraris in the day and spend the nights in bmw's with a girl on their laps?

prostitution on his own will where he is the abuser and he is the abused. he is the hopeless in a situation fabricated by your parents but you don't need to know it. any of it. for he would prefer if you still saw him as the brother you always knew, he is enough to feel disgusted by himself and chuuya is enough to have sympathy for him.

that exchange took place fifty five minutes ago and so this was why you are now laying on chuuya's bed after taking a shower, arms and legs spread as you stared up at the ceiling, basking in the silence of the room and the giddiness of your heart of being in the room of the one who first made you swallow the innocent drink of a crush which stirred into a drug of love.

the door to the room opened to pull you out of your lovesick and teenage girl like thoughts, you leaned your head up to see chuuya enter, half body inside the room while the other remained outside in a very obvious way to tell you that he had been stopped by someone on his way to the room.

you sat up, leaned a bit forwards to hear the voice of the man who made goosebumps to litter your skin,

"yeah man, kinda don't feel good today or i would've joined the party for sure." chuuya chuckled and exchanged a few more short words with whoever he is talking to before he turned around to face you, closing the door and locking it as well.

you tilt your head as you hear the click indicating the door is locked and safe from outside intruptions and chuuya grins, the same boyish grin which promised nothing but thrill and excitement from all those years ago and it sturred the same feeling of being smitten with the man infront of you who now stood right infront of you, hands on his knees as he leaned to be on the same eye level as you.

"just making sure no drunk bastard barges here doll. can't i be protective of the precious doll in my room?" chuuya is a big tease. a very big and mean tease for if not then why would he play with the fire that is your heart by caressing your cheek with his knuckles.

you immediately look away to distance yourself from the addicting touch of the attractive and fanciable man, eyes falling on the skateboard leaning against the wall instead.

"you still skate?" you ask as you try to change the topic but chuuya had never been one to be easily stirred away from his goals, his knuckles still felt the smoothness and roughness of your skin. his eyes were still trained on your face as he stared, earnestly.

"gotta have something up my sleeve to impress you, no? my doll is getting prettier every time i see her, i gotta work to maintain my position as your favorite, yeah? am i still your favorite?" he teases you and it's at moments like this which makes you be aware of the tease which he is, his words which drips with playful flirtation. oh shit, you feel your heart beating quicker.

chuuya nakahara is the type of guy daughters are kept away from. older, a tease, someone who isn't afraid to talk using their fists when words fail to make a point clear and a foul mouth to combine with his devilish features.

the devil may wear prada but chuuya nakahara wears a leather jacket and choker.

yet he is also the same boy who you met all those years ago when he first moved to your area, the guy you introduced your brother to and watched them clicking instantly to even watching them leaving together for university.

"you were and will always be my favorite." you mumble and nearly feel the charms of the man named chuuya choking you when he tilts his head as he heard you before he grinned, reassurance and confidence flowing through his veins and mixing with his blood.

"you are my favorite girl too, doll. my only girl." chuuya whispered in a tone which can be imagined to be close to a murmur and a whisper, as his words were meant only for you to hear.

he relished in seeing you squirm under his intense gaze as you looked away and chuuya furrowed his eyebrows in amusement as he saw your lingering stares at his skateboard increase, he asked,

"wanna try it?" gently oh gently did the wind blow through the garden you sat alone in or is it chuuya's loving voice that is stirring emotions in the garden of feelings of your heart?

you shake your head softly but he pouts, he saw the intrest glinting in your eyes.

so he does what he does best. making girls fall for him and his charms but there is only one he will catch from falling into the abyss of heartbreak.

"come on, i am gonna be there to catch you. trust me doll." why is he suddenly being so adamant, he doesn't know. but he does know that he should be viewing you as the little sister of his bestfriend and not as an insanely preety woman in his room.

the woman infront of him right now was previously the girl he used to carry on his back whenever he and your older brother used to go out and took you with them.

chuuya's eyes trail down your neck to your collarbones to those two sinful mounds on your chest which makes it very evident that you aren't the pubescent girl anymore but an actual grown woman.

and what better way to greet himself with this better reminder that the woman infront of him is the sister of his best friend than to indulge in innocent activities with her like he used to?

but your stubbornness to remain seated and not cause any noise which could possibly ruin whatever party your brother is having downstairs is being a big hindrance in this self realization trip chuuya wants to take his heart on.

for would he really break his bestfriend's trust like this even after knowing he is the only person your brother could blindly trust you with?

no, he can't.

chuuya playfully rolls his eyes to make it seem as if his inner self isn't torn between choosing what's right for his heart or what's right for his conscience, he extended his arm as if reaching for a decision but what good is it when both include you?

chuuya's hand wraps around your wrist as he pulled you to stand up and when you widen your eyes in surprise at his action, he wonders if you are walking on the same thin rope of desire and conscience.

"i will catch you from falling." chuuya muttered but the way his voice is low, his usual teasing and playful tone absent, can one really be ignorant to think he is still talking about the skateboard?

"always?" you whisper out and isn't it great that you two have a skateboard to use as a decoy for speaking about matters much deeper then the wood the said skateboard was craved from?

"i'll be damned if i don't." chuuya whispered and smiled before his smile faltered a bit and he chuckled nervously, this chain reaction of emotions within him made you feel as if you are the only one who wants to push the boundaries to the point of no return while he is comfortable with where you two stand right now.

you nod, not as excited as chuuya hoped to see but he doesn't let this bring his mood down, instead, he releases his grip on your forearm to hold your hand instead, leading you towards his skateboard which was proped against the wall.

chuuya leaned down to pick it up and as he did so, his hand brushed against your knee which made you gulp the shaky breath which were to leave your mouth to let chuuya know the effect of his touch on your body, trapping the breath inside your chest forever.

"i never tried skateboarding." you feel it's appropriate to let him know in advance of what an immature and inexperienced student he will be dealing with but chuuya stood straight after placing the skateboard on the ground, one leg on the skateboard while the other was on the floor, he waves his hand.

"this is why i want to be the one to teach you doll. trust me, yeah? i'll catch you before you fall."

and what could you do except nod, trusting the man as you grabbed his hand which he offered, you looked down at the skateboard and with a uncomfortable feeling gnawing at your heart, you slowly raised to place one of your feets on it, going for the centre of the board till chuuya stopped you,

"not here, near the ends. if you stand on the centre then you will loose your balance." he guided you as your heart felt a violent flutter when you noticed his leg which was still planted on top of on the skateboard to offer you stability on this otherwise unstable object of joy and amusement.

you nod and tightened your grip on his palm as you placed your leg on the end of the skateboard while his remained on the other end and he stood behind you, the free hand of his itching to close the distance between his palm and the curve of your waist.

"good, now try to lift your second leg up as well, put the weight on this one." he pats your thigh of the leg planted on the skateboard and you gulp, out of fear or out of desire?

chuuya didn't notice you biting your bottom lip for he was looking down at your shaky leg with his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, he muttered next to your ear,

"come on, try it." the gravel and low tone one of the man had you nearly closing your eyes but you resisted, the grip on his hand tightened even more as you lifted your leg from the ground for the slightest second before yelping, grabbing onto chuuya's arm with both hands as you felt your body shake due to the rawest taste of feeling the control you have over your body leave you as gravity plays a little trick on you to take advantage of the instability of your body.

but chuuya has always been the one to have an effect more stronger then gravity on you, it's like gravity bends to his will.

so it isn't a shock when chuuya's arm is wrapped around your waist as he pulls your body towards his, chuckling breathlessly as if he just recovered from being taken aback,

"easy there doll, i got you." he whispers, you nod.

he makes you regain your balance and you allow him to lead, his hand on your hip while you remained clasping one of his hands with your own to have support.

the hand on your hip tightened its hold and you wonder if it's how it would feel to have him grip you while your naked bodies laid sprawled with each other's?

"slowly . . . slowly, yeah, that's it . . . right there, such a good girl." chuuya guided you but your brain is salacious or why would your thoughts revolving your older brother's bestfriend be filled with concupiscence?

but alas, had the heart not been strong to a fault, would the humankind have gone through the many tragedies and achievements it did?

and chuuya's heart always had a hold on his brain so when he spoke the next sentence, it is utmost important to know his intentions behind it, he does when he does in a spur of emotions, of his desires which tickled him whenever he looked down to see his hand grabbing your hip and he almost had a urge to lift the cloth of your loose t-shirt up to see the skin his hands are on top of.

"did you kiss anyone while i was away?" he rapsed out and gulped thickly when he realised his words but what is giving him confidence to keep going on is the way he heard your breath hitch despite the blaring music from downstairs. and so he did.

"pardon?" you breath out and blinked.

"i will pardon you, no doubt in that." chuuya smirked, once he saw you purse your lips with no signs of discomfort or anything related to it on your face, "eyes on the skateboard doll." he tsked.

"right, right." you breath out as if being shaken awake from whatever daze you went in after listening to his words. now that chuuya's feet wasn't on the skateboard any longer, you felt even more nervous and scared.

"so did you? you know it's not nice to not answer someone." he mumbled, using his leg to guide your other leg on top of the skateboard.

his knee is pressed against the back of your's as he moves your leg sideways to find the perfect position for you to stand in without wobbling constantly, all while the other hand gripped and gripped your hip more tightly and the thought that it would be sure to leave a mark, his mark, is making his breathing pattern to be disturbed, hastening it's pace.

"no." you shakily breath out before repeating yourself in a more presentable and audible tone, "no i didn't, did you?"

you screwed your eyes shut, the instinct to show the same curiosity he did took the best of you and once the words were spoken, you were left all alone with your embarrassment in your body.

chuuya scooted a bit closer to you as if he wasn't already way too close then needed but who were you to point it out when you liked the body heat he radiated and the smell of his cologne faintly hitting your nose, but this step closer to you made his crotch to brush against the plush of your ass and you did everything to not grind against him or try to feel his crotch again.

"i didn't as well." he whispers, head dipped to such an angle that when he spoke, his breath hitted your jaw and is this how consuming cocaine for the first time feels like as well?

no wonder they are taboo and kept away from the curious minds.

"why? you are such a preety guy, don't you have girls begging to fall on your lap?" your curiosity couldn't be stopped now once it flowed out of the chambers of your brain. now, this curiosity flowed out and wrapped around chuuya's heart to make it feel giddy to know you care enough to be this invested in his personal affairs.

"ah," you exclaim as he makes you stand on the skateboard, your imbalance leading you to grabbing his shirt but as he stood behind you and you grabbed the nearest support you could find, you did not realize your grip was painfully near the waistband of his sweatpants because what need is there for you to look back when you were able to feel the faint outlines of his abs through the fabric of his cloth?

he helped you to stand on the skateboard and when he moved back to make you stand without his support, your knees wobbled and you widened your eyes as you were to fall backwards if it wasn't for chuuya to wrap his arms around your hips.

"got the girl i wanted to have on my lap finally." chuuya mused before helping you stand again, his hands on your hips as he stares down at your legs before he leaned down a bit to place his hand on top of your knee and your eyes widened for why would they not when your drug is flowing though your veins and into your kidney?

chuuya guided you to the position he deemed right before he stood up straight and as he did, so did the impure blood which was now once again filtered yet why did the drug still flow with it? why did it not get filtered?

you exhale a shaky breath as chuuya takes a step back after and you wobble on your feet but remain standing in place.

lines are being blurred. drugs are being inhaled and their intake is high. sin is in the air and chuuya is behind you. you are on a thin line and you loose or win is up to you. whether you fall or not is something only time will tell.

sin didn't just randomly appear, no, but it was excreted out by chuuya's brain and now the same sin of concupiscence was being felt by you too but the only difference is that chuuya has the confidence to act upon it and you don't.

"what? cat got your tongue all of a sudden?" chuuya mocked and oh, the words of mockery went straight to your cunt. "you used to talk a lot when we were kids, it was honestly so cute."

chuuya saw from his peripheral vision how his words resulted in you to bite your bottom lip to not release a breath which would come out a bit too shaky, he sucked in his inner cheek for he wanted you to react to his words and you weren't so he guesses he would need to push you a bit more.

chuuya lightly pushed the skateboard with his heel and you squealed. chuuya immediately wrapped his hands around you again but this time his hands were on your upper abdomen, just a bit from grabbing your boobs.

"easy there, doll." chuuya released a breathy laugh and you suck in air and your annoyance for how is it fair for you to be this hot and bothered by his teasing while he looks like he is having the time of his life?

"perhaps you aren't doing a good job at teaching me chu." you mumble only for the purpose to earn a reaction from him which you do but not in the way you wanted but you aren't one to complain for his cocky attitude as chuuya cocked his eyebrows in amusement at your words, is something no one could deny from finding attractive.

"i think so too, maybe i am being a bit too soft with you?" chuuya played along with your pathetic attempt as he finds areas of concern within himself, he helped you stand again and the sight of your figure shaking as you tried to stand steadily on the object is cute in his eyes.

"please hold me." your request is not innocent at all, or well, that's what chuuya thinks when your tone used is breathy and low but nevertheless, the cocaine in your blood does it work to strip away your troubles, chuuya's hands once again find their favorite spot ; your hips as he stands in a proximity so close that your heart busted with joy when you felt the outline of his chest on your back.

"what a greedy girl, aren't you a bit too demanding?" chuuya smirked and you could feel it in that cocky tone of his.

"you made me like this by giving into my every need." you whisper out as his voice is doing wonders on you, stimulating and making you shy but where rationality surrenders, arousal takes over.

this is why you placed your hand on top of his under the disguise of being 'scared' as you tilted your head back to rest it on his shoulder and looked up at him, whispering, "what should i do now?"

with a gulp, chuuya's faltered smirk returned as he rubbed his nose against your cheek, "the hardest thing when riding a skateboard -- for me -- was to stop. so let's teach you that first? hm?"

closing your eyes for the way he hums has you going crazy, you aren't sure if you want him to see your eyes exposing your true feelings for him but chuuya did, anyways, he knew it the second he had slinged his arm over your shoulder and watched you become the schoolgirl you once were as you shyly stood beside him.

chuuya is smart. and for a certain pair of siblings, he had always been the most observant and always on his heels if they needed help.

like a dance, chuuya pushed the skateboard gently with his heel while his hands remained on your hips and your's on top of his, now chuuya and you both knew this wasn't actually how one was supposed to ride a skateboard but it served as a good disguise to keep on feeling each other up.

"i don't want to do this anymore." you sigh, craning your neck to look at him with a pout on your lips, you temptress, you were just begging for chuuys to let go of his rationality and lean down to kiss you, weren't you?

"come on, don't give me that. you were looking at the skateboard so much and you used to always accompany us when we went skateboarding back then as well." chuuya tells as he takes a strand of your hair and twirls it on his index finger but bites off a smile when you shake your head.

"i don't really care much about skateboarding. i just liked looking at you riding it." you had confessed your childhood long secret of accompanying them with the purpose of letting your eyes drink in the sight of the then teenager who laughed cockily at your brother who gaped at him and another one of his tricks he performed on the skateboard, chuuya would laugh only louder when his eyes would trail towards you to see you looking at him the same way your brother would but the only difference would be that your stare would stir a feeling in him which would end with blush on his ear shells and cheeks.

now chuuya knew of your 'admiration' and 'fondness' for him. hell, he even knew of your feelings for him but what he did not know was how deeply and far back were they rooted into your heart. so he blinked.

you sighed as you saw his baffled expression and raised your head to stop resting it on his shoulder and if chuuya wasn't busy in repeating your words over and over again, he would've whined.

he froze, sure, but your thinking of the reason being awkwardness and utter surprise at your confession is not correct even in the slightest, he is frozen due to how the scene is playing out. chuuya knew of your feelings towards him as stated before and he had, ever since your brother broke the news of you coming to live with them to him, been imagining different ways of how the confession from both sides would go.

what he never thought was it happening during a moment of utter lust and attempts of breaking confinements, which, in this case happens to be their own conscience.

you run a hand through your hair, "well the cat is out of the bag." you shrug, disappointment is way too close to find a home inside your body. you smile helplessly as you look down at how you are standing steadily on top of the skateboard before muttering so only chuuya could hear though maybe it would've been better if he didn't, "i am helplessly in love with you, always were. i don't have intrest in skateboarding -- i just liked seeing you on it. i got offered to stay at the dorms near the university but i declined because i wanted to stay under the same roof as you . . . " you trail off, getting off the skateboard before turning around to face him.

your action is useless if you aren't actually going to look into his eyes and continue to stand with your head dropped low.

"i was excited. till i came here. chu . . ." you look up at him, eyes which he once dreamt of staring into his in classes he found boring, now stared at him but his dream didn't come true for your eyes didn't hold the spark he wanted to see in them, " . . what are you and my brother hiding? why are you so hesitant?"

you looked at the skateboard which served as a small beacon of the line you wanted to cross but couldn't.

you took a step forwards and tried to take a step past chuuya who snapped put of his frozen state, immediately clasping his hand around your wrist to stop you and pulled you back infront of him. he placed his arm on your shoulder as he leaned near you, smiling in defeat.

"the girl i desired is the sister of the man i consider my bestfriend, who stayed with me in my thick and thin moments. must i choose between love and loyalty? i am torn doll, oh so torn." he confessed too. not in the way he or you (in your dreams) could ever imagine.

so please, you begged yourself to not focus on how close his face is to your's and how if you tipped your head forwards, you could place your lips against his.

"you can't choose?" you asked as you stared up at eyes so filled with life that you could mock the oceans for not even their beauty could be compared to the pigment of the man's eyes in your opinion. "i kinda get it though. i knew this would never work. this is why i never wanted to confess but you made me." your smile gave it away that you are still stuck on the same rope.

"i made you confess?" chuuya grinned and clasped his hands behind your head, he leaned forwards even more to ruse his brain into being satisfied with him brushing his nose against your's though what his brain itched for was to have his hands on your ass or on your back or on any part of your body as long as he could feel your skin on his.

"mhm, you did." you continue to play with your teasing accusation as chuuya took a step back and as his arms were around you, you were forced to take a step forwards too to maintain the close proximity between you two.

there is a voice hammering in the back of chuuya's head which is telling him to stop before he does something which will give arousal a upper hand on him but when he looked at the smile playing on your lips, chuuya felt the urge to break free from his confinement.

"wow, this is what i get for trying to teach you how to stand on a skateboard? what a ungrateful girl." chuuya teased, his own grin making you gulp and he watched how you swallowed your saliva and how the lump flowed down your throat before his eyes rested on your breasts covered by the fabric of your shirt and how his hands shook as he tried to ignore the urge to pry your shirt off of you. he continued to walk back and make you walk alongside him.

"i didn't ask you to teach me, you did it yourself chu." you point out, licking your lips as you tried not to focus on his hands on you by staring at his face which he tilted to the side to let his eyes to trail even lower and oh, he smirked arrogantly and raised his eyes in amusement.

the confinements couldn't hold the man named chuuya nakahara who felt something snap in him when he stared at your legs clenching together and your hand twirling the end of your shirt as if the fabric is annoying you as much as he is.

"yet you followed my instructions like a good girl." chuuya raised his eyebrow in amusement and the excitement almost made his heart bust when he felt the under of his knee hitting the bed and chuuya fell on it and of course, you found yourself falling on top of him with your arms on either side of him to support yourself.

"i like being praised. especially if the praises are from you." what shame remains when everything else is being kept in the open? you do not fear the outcome for once chuuya had reciprocated with confessions of his own, your mind circulated and worshipped only one thought ; to lay it all bare infront of him and let time and luck decides what happens next.

the words you uttered sounded like mirth to chuuya but your body being pressed on his, thighs brushing against his inner thigh and the lower part of your stomach being right on top of his crotch told chuuya this situation is very much serious and not a product of his desires forging into a very real life daydream. chuuya raised his eyebrows and decided to take one step forwards which would decide the course of the night.

"now follow my new instructions doll." chuuya's hands landed on the ends of your shirt as he hooked his fingers on the fabric, his heart beated but not as much in excitement as it did in anticipation.

chuuya licked his lips as he felt them drying while waiting and analyzing the expression you wore and he wondered for the hidden meaning behind you simply blinking but perhaps there wasn't any meaning behind them and you were just as eager as him to proceed with this situation, chuuya came to know so when you lifted your body a bit to help him take off your shirt with ease.

looking at the surprise flashing through his pupils for its rather rare for the tease to be caught off guard, you knew you would not miss this opportunity,

"what? am i not following your instructions correctly?" your grin faltered when chuuya pulled the shirt over your head before using it to tie your hands together behind your back, the action was carried with such precise and swift movements that you didn't realize it until he had done it.

"you look so adorable when you are at a loss of words." chuuya sighed fondly, grinning at your choice of wearing a lacy baby pink bra and suddenly you felt hot.

if you were feeling hot before then you are burning right now under the scorching stare of chuuya whose eyes frantically looked over each inch of your skin and those covered mounds you were unexpectedly testing his patience with.

chuuya extended his hand towards one of your boobs and he rubbed his thumb over your nipple to watch it perk up under his finger.

maybe it's the thrill of finally living the scenario you imagine on many nights when your fingers are knuckle deep in your core and you are a moaning mess for the guy who you weren't supposed to crush on because he is your brother's best friend but you did, or maybe it's the foreign simulation of a real touch of another other then yourself on your inexperienced body but whatever it may be, the pool of your own slick on your underwear wasn't something you could ignore and especially not when chuuya moved his knee so that it could be right below your wet and clothed core.

"chuuy --"

"tell me to stop and i will but if you don't, i'll make sure no other man could satisfy you like i do." he muttered in absolute seriousness as if he meant every single touch and caress on the curves of your waist and you shook your head and for emphasis, you humped against his knee to let him feel the wetness he caused.

"don't stop, please chuuya. choose me for once -- for my body, doesn't matter. i know you won't betray my brother by dating me, i never expected you to, but please. just be mine tonigh --"

your words didn't get the freedom to be spilt out into the atmosphere as chuuya shuts you by tugging at the restraint on your hand to pull you down and kissing you, his hand came to find its place on the curve of your jaw which he carassed as if to soothe your nerves or to control himself from pouncing at you at the moment.

"shut the fuck up." he gritted as soon as the short kiss shared between you two were over but looking at your glossed lips and flushed face as you tried to grasp your breath stolen by him and his kiss and chuuya pulled your face down using the hold he had on your jaw.

your eyes immediately screwed shut at the feeling of his soft lips moving on your's before he tilted your head to acquire an angle which would make it easy for him to push his tongue into your mouth, at that your heart began beating fast again while your cells celebrated that its finally happening.

maybe this is why you began taking ragged breaths which lead chuuya to increase the passion he excreted in this make out session. his free hand went down and towards your shorts after which he teasingly pulled them down only to abandon them and watch it smack your skin, the hiss that left your lips gave chuuya the opportunity to push his tongue deeper into your mouth.

you wanted to caress his cheek, touch his abs and run your hand through his hair but due to the restraints on your hands, all you could do was whine in the kiss, chuuya pushed his knee up a bit to hit it against your wet core and you immediately lost any energy you had. this one touch from him had you going limp as your body leaned on his.

chuuya pulled back from the kiss to look at your eyes still closed with his own eyes glazed with arousal which broke through every confinement and restraints.

chuuya's both hands landed on either of your hips and he lifted you up before turning you both around so you would be the one lying on his bed and suddenly the way his smell infiltrated your nose had you gulping thickly. in excitement, in anticipation.

chuuya planted one hand beside your head as with the other, he pulled down his sweatpants before cursing under his breath. sweat dribbled down his temple and all the way from his cheek to his neck to his collarbone before disappearing beneath his shirt.

and when you raised your eyes again, you saw the man already staring at you as he smiled in what seemed like embarrassment.

but can a man like him even have something to be embarrassed about? oh, don't you know, chuuya? you make others embarrassed with just how ethereal and angel like you look.

he isn't the angel though.

the way his lips parted to let his tongue out to moisten his bottom lip made it clear so or else why would you release a shaky breath suppressing desire?

"give me a minute doll?" he muttered so lazily but just as energetically did his hands pinch your nipples again.

you nodded and chuuya raised to his feet to lean towards the nightstand as he opened the drawer and began to shuffle through the many objects placed in it.

"fuck, where . . . is it . . .?" you heard chuuya mutter under his breath and you raised your feet to trace it along his waist to tease him and rile him up.

"you keep condoms so casually chu?" your voice was purposely toned to sound pouty as chuuya spared you a glance over his shoulder and he grinned before looking back at the task in hand and a sigh of relief left him when he found the packet he was looking for.

"i do not fuck around like it's second nature for me doll. when you have a house which is the usual spot for any parties, you better keep condoms." vaguely he answered but the way he winked gave you the reassurance that you won't be tossed aside after being used even if that was what you originally were ready to accept if it meant he would give in to his and your urges.

"virgin?"is the only word you mutter as you watch the process of chuuya slowly pulling down and removing his sweatpants and boxers away from his body before he ripped the condom package off and he looks at you while not stopping with his actions.

chuuya tilted his head to the side with a smirk, "why don't you tell me that."

and as chuuya approached you again, he raised the ends of his shirt over his head before tossing it to the side and leaning over you again, "tell me if i am a virgin or not doll," he cooed, alright, but his words and their loving tone was a very big contrast to the way his hands greedily raised one of your legs up to pull your shorts and underwear down in one go.

you sinked into the mattress even more as chuuya parted your legs apart, hissing at the sight of your wet core which glistened as the dim lights of his room fell on them.

chuuya raised his hand to trace over your folds and relished at how his finger got coated with your wetness, chuuya looked up as your thigh had twitched at this action of his.

"first time?" he asked and when you nodded a bit awkwardly, chuuya had this sudden urge to go on his knees and kiss his way up your inner thigh towards your cunt before ravishing it -- but he would get another day to do it. right now, if his angry dick doesn't enter you, he will go insane.

so he rather leans down to plant a kiss on the tip of your nose before making his way down and at the same time he taps on your stomach to let you know to lift yourself for him which you do, arching your back so chuuya could put his hand on your back before his hand trailed upwards to unclasp your bra.

chuuya leaned back and pulled you along by pulling on your tied hands, he sat on the bed and pulled you on his lap a bit harshly before immediately sucking on your nipple while his one hand remained to hold your hands over your head and the other carassed your hip.

the latter hand then began to travel downwards and you would've loved to focus on his touch if it wasn't for the way he nibbled on your nipple lightly before beginning to suck on it. his hand began to rub your clit teasingly with nothing but the tip of his fingernail -- all while he ignored his hard dick throbbing for attention.

"fuck, what a good girl." chuuya hissed under his breath as if the man could not physically stop himself from admiring you and if one thinks so, then let's also know the fact that mentally, chuuya couldn't even look away for even a fraction of a second.

to control himself is like controlling a starving beast with a fawn left unsupervised and unattended infront of him and the only thing restricting the beast was the pathetic chain on it's collar.

you whine, raise your eyes to look into chuuya's before you lean near him to capture his lips in a kiss which soon is being led by him.

the chain snaps and the beast pounced on the fawn.

chuuya falls down on the bed as his hands reach to grope your ass, your hands are still behind your back as you try to match his pace in the messy kiss and it is when you separated to take a breath that chuuya mumbled,

"ride me, doll? go at your pace, i just want your first time to feel good since it's with me --" the smirk and the tone made it clear how cocky and proud he is of himself. " -- come on, don't you want to feel good and make me feel good too? what are you hesitating for dear? i'll be here to guide you." he coos. the way how confidence sprouts from each pore of his body is something only he could pull off for he has the skills to back up every claim yet with a man like him, one would clearly not imagine him to be gentle.

he isn't but that's something you came to know only after you had gulped nervously before sinking down on his dick slowly as he advised you to take him inch by inch. the foreign intrusion burned and with each inch of him sinking into you, you could feel your walls stretching and it felt as if they were almost being ripped apart.

chuuya isn't a man of gentleness in bed usually but seeing you bite your lip as you screwed your eyes shut thinking it would help you tolerate the pain, chuuya wanted to be nothing but be tender with you who is acting so docile. but chuuya can't help but snicker, he can't help but be mean and with the way your walls are suffocating his cock, he is sure you like this behavior a bit too much as well.

his hands are on your hips to be the only source of stability for your hands are behind your back, tied and even if chuuya knew you needed time to get used to the foreign feeling of his dick inside you, he couldn't stop from pulling his hand away from your hip and smacking it lightly to watch you yelp in surprise.

"don't be mean chu." you stutter, eyes opening to glare lightly at him without holding any negative emotions, you could feel the pain fading away.

"just because you are sitting on my dick and on top of me doesn't mean you are in charge." chuuya smirked and when your glare didn't falter and you continued doing so, chuuya snickered before humming lazily.

"fine, if you think you are such a big girl, go on and fuck yourself on my cock." he emphasized his words by thrusting upwards into you and the new, first time feeling along with the way it was done so suddenly had you moaning in pleasure, body leaning to fall forwards on chuuya's chest.

chuuya peeked down at you to make sure his thrust didn't hurt you but when he saw you staring at him with half lidded eyes, he couldn't help but laugh mockingly, bringing his hand to pinch your cheek.

"not glaring anymore, are we? was this it? you needed to be fucked to be put in your place?" chuuya patted your cheek and smirked, "ride me."

it wasn't a suggestion or a loving and thoughtful gesture of him like it was before but a demand which left no room for argument, not that you would be trying to do so as you wanted to feel more of him, the warm dick between your walls and the way his thrust made you almost close your eyes felt nice, felt addicting and you grew greedy to want more.

chuuya grabs your hips again to pull you back in a sitting position on his dick and waited before you finally began to move up and down his dick. sure, the rhythm was off beat and the movements you made were slow and not precise but it didn't matter for the euphoria settling in him is something he felt before only once maybe -- the first time he had shifted to the area you lived in and befriended you, at that time he felt satisfied with himself to know he isn't going to be a sore thumb or an outcast, that he has a cute girl and her brother his age to keep him company and help him get familiar with the area. but the satisfaction now is not of the same category except the fact that both these feelings were stimulated when you were near him.

right now, the way your walls are squeezing his dick and suffocating it makes up for your sloppy movements, the epiphany of being this intimate with the girl who he once only touched in his dreams is making this way more satisfying then any of the other nights he had with anyone else.

you moaning his name is what snapped him out of his daze, he looked down at you to smile to see that you found the pace which you are the most comfortable in and it's way better then what you were doing in the beginning.

a moan left your lips and got tangled with the groan that chuuya released as he continued to look up at you, cheeks blushing, eyes wide and taking in every inch of your tits jiggling and the way he had to tighten his grip on your hips to stabilize you on him.

as you went up and down on him, your slick coated his length more and more made it easier to move but the burn on your thighs after some time couldn't be ignored, you weren't used to this and chuuya decided to take matters into his hands when he felt your pace slowing down.

"can't even trust you to fuck yourself. guess i have to teach you how to ride a dick huh, oh what a cutie." chuuya cooed as he found himself filled to the brim with adoration but when he felt it overflowing, the adoration transformed into lust.

you closed your eyes as chuuya grabbed you by your curves, lifting you up a bit as he adjusted himself beneath you to be in a position where he could look at you without having to lift his head much (he had placed two pillows beneath his head to do so) and began to thrust upwards into you after immediately making you take all of him.

you moaned out loud as you digged your nails into your palms as chuuya's pace seemed to increase with each passing second and you felt as if there is not even as much as a second for you to breath.

your lower abdomen is where the pleasure started before it surged through your entire body, chuuya's hands on your waist were sure to leave bruises but it didn't matter at the moment when he kept on trying to grope the flesh his greedy fingers could find.

chuuya had you sitting on him with his knees behind to support you from falling, the wetness only seemed to make the sound of his balls slapping against your asscheeks reverberate in the room. chuua grabbed your thigh before parting your leg a bit so he could hit more precisely.

you looked at chuuya to see him glaring down at your jiggling tits with narrowed eyes as he tried to find something -- you don't know what but he looked focused on whatever he is trying to do. you looked over your shoulder at your tied up hands and when you looked back at chuuya again, he flicked your clit which made you moan loudly.

chuuya placed his hand on your back, just barely above your ass as he pushed you forward so you could be laying on him.

chuuya looked down to see your tits squeezed against his chest and he gathered a glob of saliva before spitting it on your chest, a breathless moan left his mouth when he saw his saliva trail down the valley of your breasts. he pressed his hands on your asscheeks to push you against him and raised one of his hands to grab the back of your thigh to push your leg apart and as he thrusted after doing so, you felt his tip graze the spongy wall that had you crying out in pleasure.

the thrust which follows the first one had more impact as it made sure to hit against your spot, making you curl your toes and arch your back. your tits pressed against his chest more in the process of doing so and so did your walls which clenched his dick, chuuya moaned closing his eyes and thrusting again.

you are the one having your first time with him yet why does he feel as if it's the opposite? he never felt like so.

chuuya slowly opened his eyes and what greeted his sight is a picture he will keep alive in his head till the next time he gets to have his hands on you -- your eyes closed as you laid on his chest, lips parted and he could see you drooling a bit and oh, chuuya felt his breath getting stuck in his throat.

he raised his hand to caress your cheek before pinching it and pulling you towards him using it, kissing the tip of your nose. this gesture made you clench around him and chuuya's eyes rolled to the back of his head.

he was pounding into you roughly, mercilessly and being animalistic, he used your shirt tied on your wrists to control you, pushing and pulling you to find all the different angles that'll have you milking his cock.

as he pulled you back to sit on him with the help of your shirt, you leaned a bit so your clit could be pressing against his pubis, your head tilted back and oh, chuuya widened his eyes, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as he only increased his pace to feel his cock struggle with the way your walls are clenching so hard around it, your body shakes and even with chuuya's hands around your waist, he can't help but grin at your unstable state.

"chuuya, chuuya, let me touch you -- ah, chuuya!" you cry out his name desperately as his abuse to your cunt continued before you finally released a high pitched moan while experiencing your very first orgasm due to something which aren't your fingers but your fingers don't feel so good and if it weren't chuuya, you are sure this orgasm wouldn't feel so good as well.

you breath heavily before feeling your breath hitching, eyes opening wide when chuuya who had slowed down his pace while you were coming off your high, increases it suddenly again, his balls tightening and so was his grip on your waist, he is close too, your cum is definitely being a additional yet very much appreciated lube.

so this is maybe why he didn't pick up his ringing phone from the nightstand as he pounded into you, moaning and running a hand through your hair as he whispered praises to you.

"y-your pho --" you weren't able to complete your sentence when chuuya pushed you back to sit on him using the restraint on your wrist, his other hand raised to harshly squeeze your tit between his fingers.

"who cares? whoever is calling can wait, fuck, doll." chuuya hissed as ropes of white shooted out of his cock and creamed your walls, his thrusts turned sloppy but didn't stop.

and when they did, chuuya raised himself on his elbows to check who called him but he stopped midway, his hand hovered just above his phone when you grinded against him shakily, panting and body trembling.

"chuuya." your half lidded eyes stared at him and this was all chuuya needed before he is abandoning his phone to flip you on the bed, getting on top of you.

"spread your legs wide doll, let me see my pussy."

━━━━━━━ 💋 part two.

389 notes · View notes

random0lover · 11 months

Note

Hello !! Am I allowed to request for maybe all of 141 (If possible with your schedule !! I undestand if its not !!) or just Price and Ghost (separate) with a reader whos a military kid so theyre kinda just used to them going away for long periods of time with deployment. Bonus points if they werent aware of reader being a military kid till they break down and confess as to how abandoned and angry they feel when they leave :,)) Fluffy Hurt/Comfort thats SFW, please :)) Thank you ^^

TF141 x Gn!Reader That Was a Military Kid

Pairings: John Price x gn!reader & Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x gn!reader

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: Angst with Comfort, SFW, reader is mean, talk of parental death, crying, reader is called: sweetheart, love, dove. Hints at depression, John and Simon are both big softies for reader, established relationships. That should be it! Let me know if I missed any <3

Things to know: Some hc’s with mini fic parts. Should be Gn!reader as I tried to avoid talking about readers body or anything that could indicate anything other than gn!reader! Also POC friendly! If you notice anything that makes you feel otherwise please let me know! I never want anyone to feel excluded with/in my work ♡, Also a warning to anyone that decides to follow me- if you do not have your age in your bio or a pinned post I will block you… just a fair warning.

Notes: Thank you for requesting this anon! I loved the idea so much so I hope this does your request justice! I kinda went a little soft with the Price one because for some reason I can’t stand the thought of reader being mean to that sweet man (if you want though send me another request and I can write one that’s more angst filled 😊) although I did bring out the reader being angry in Simons. Another thing, I wrote this for Simon and not ghost but if you want I can write another one that has reader dealing with Ghost but be warned it will be angsty with lots of hurt from both parties! Sorry if the editing is bad I did try though lol and there will be more parts to this!

Tags: @homicidal-slvt (promised I’d tag you so here we are)

Price & Simon (You’re here!), Soap & Gaz, Alejandro, Rudy & König

(I will add the links as I post each part!)

John Price

-I feel like he may have wondered if you were a military kid since you didn’t seem to be phased by him having to leave so often

-There were other things that also made him wonder, like how you always made your bed in the mornings, how schedules were majorly important to you to the point that if you knew you were going to be late, you'd get majorly upset, and how you also seemed to understand military lingo up to a certain point. He never asked though since you didn’t talk about your childhood much so he just figured that if you wanted to tell him that you would -But he started to notice that lately, you started to seem off when you found out he would have to be deployed soon.

John had been awake since the early hours of the morning. He couldn't seem to get much sleep in the few days before his next deployment. He had left the warmth of your shared bed before even the morning birds could be heard outside, hoping not to wake you with his restlessness, but little did he know that you hadn't slept at all.

By the time you stumbled out of bed with bags under your eyes and your mind feeling exhausted from the lack of sleep and your own brain tearing itself apart, it was well past 10 a.m., which wasn’t the most unusual for you, but on the day before John would be deploying it was a little odd since usually you were up trying to help him get his stuff together and would make a huge breakfast since you both weren’t sure how long it would be until he would get to enjoy a home-cooked meal again.

You had hoped to get to the kitchen and make yourself a cup of coffee before seeing John, but he was standing at the fridge, putting groceries away from multiple brown paper bags.

You made your way to the coffee pot that seemed to have a fresh pot being made and got a cup from the cabinet before he started to talk, “I noticed we were getting low on some things so I thought I’d save you a trip to—,” he pauses, causing you to turn to face him, “Sweetheart?”

You were pressing your hands into your eyes, trying to relieve the aching pressure that was remaining consistent behind them, when he made his way across the kitchen and gently cupped your cheeks, “Are you feeling alright, love?”

You didn’t mean to do it, but you flinched away from his hands, taking a few steps back so that there was some distance between you both. You could see the hurt in his eyes before they were overcome with confusion and you hated that he was looking at you as if you were a skittish kitten that would run at the smallest movement.

He reaches an arm out slowly, as if to not startle you.

“Love, what’s wrong?”

You shake your head, pulling your arms tight around you, and try to focus on keeping your breathing calm, like your parents taught you when you were little.

He takes a small step forward so that his fingers are almost grazing your arm but stops when sees you curling in on yourself, “Sweetheart, something is obviously wrong. You're crying, and your body is shaking.”

“Hey,” you finally look up into his eyes, “you don’t have to tell me what’s wrong, but at least let me help you.”

Your heart breaks from the pain you can see in his eyes. In all the time you've been together, you’ve never pulled away from him like this. Usually, you were the one open about your emotions and what you were feeling while having to coax John into telling you what was going on in his mind, “Please, darling.”

You let yourself fall into his open arms at that point, sobbing into his neck. He presses you against his chest, gently speaking into your ear, assuring you that everything is fine, that he is here for you, and that he will always be there.

You mumble into his neck, causing him to gently pull you back so that he can hear you: “What was that, sweetheart?”

You try to concentrate on the sensation of his calm heartbeat against your chest before finally saying, "My parents promised me the same thing."

He pulls away, puzzled, and you notice him looking at you in the corner of your eye, so you burrow your face into his chest and say, "They were both military. They died when I was 14," you finish, taking a deep breath. “They were deployed together when it happened… They said that it was an accident, that my mom got stuck on a timed land mine, and my dad wouldn’t leave her no matter what.”

"Oh, love." You feel his body tense before relaxing.

He gently grips the back of your neck and pulls you back so that you're looking into his eyes; the softness in them is almost enough to send you running as far as possible so that you never have to feel the type of pain that you did the day that you found out your parents died.

“Love, I'm not going anywhere,” you go to speak but he shushes you, “You are my world, the person I’m fighting for.”

He brings his hand under your chin so that he is gripping it gently and says, “You are the reason I’m still alive. The reason why I feel like life is still worth living and fighting for.”

He tips his head down so that his lips are grazing yours, “I’ll always come home, love.”

You push forward so that your lips are fully pressing against his, then he pulls back, “Why don’t we go take a bath, get you feeling better?”

~~~~

The next morning you wake frantically looking around, hoping that he didn’t leave without saying goodbye, when he walks in carrying a tray of food, “John? I thought you had to leave this morning.”

He smiles gently, his eyes lighting up, “Called Kate, they don’t actually need me for another week, and I figured my love needs me a little bit more than my job at the moment.” He sets the tray down on the bed, and you jump into his arms with a happy squeal, “I love you, John.”

"I love you too, sweetheart," he says as he gently kisses you.

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley

-So we all know Simon is amazing at reading people, but I don’t think he would know that you were a military kid. He could see all the signs that you may have had a difficult childhood, but he personally knows what it’s like to have a childhood you don’t want to talk about, so he never has and never will question you about your past. -Pasts are a hard topic for Simon in the first place, so I could honestly see him being a bit grateful that you didn’t share the bad parts of your childhood, meaning that he also didn’t have to share his. It was almost a silent agreement between you both to not talk about the negative parts of things unless one of you came to the other wanting to talk about it.

~~~~

Back to him being great at reading people: He could tell that over the past few days, your body language had been changing, becoming more standoffish. Not being as open to cuddling and kisses, not even wanting him to walk up behind you and wrap his arms around you, which you usually loved.

He figured that maybe you were just having a few rough days, which was normal for anyone; hell, he knew he had them quite often, and you were always there for him no matter how bad they got, so he wanted to do the same for you.

Today had been the worst day of all, though. You were almost refusing to talk to him completely unless it was one-word answers, which he was able to roll with pretty easily. You would move rooms almost every time he would come in, not even saying anything, just picking up your things and going.

This made him decide on leaving you alone for the most part, other than when he would bring you a fresh cup of tea or was just checking in on you. So he decided on cleaning up the house a little bit, he was going to be deploying again in a week and he wanted to help however he could, knowing that it was a rough transition from having him around to it being an empty house again.

He had just finished cleaning the dishes when he looked at the time and decided on ordering out for dinner, which would hopefully raise your mood a bit and it would also be an easy enough mess to clean up. He found you in the living room watching a movie on Netflix with a blanket wrapped tightly around you and stood in the doorway for a moment just admiring you when you paused it.

When you snap at him, "What do you want, Simon?" Your eyes aren't even on him but on your phone, which is on your lap.

He feels his eye twitch but he keeps himself calm and makes sure that it shows in his tone that your attitude is leaving him unaffected, “I was just goin’ to ask what you wanted for takeout, love.”

You huff and try to pull yourself up from the couch while also trying to unwrap the blanket from around you, almost falling, but Simon rushes forward and straightens you up, but you quickly pull away.

You look at him with fury in your eyes, “Can't you just leave me the hell alone?” Your voice is rising slightly, and your face is flushed with rage. “It’s what you constantly do anyway!”

You can see Simon's eyes widen, but you don't care; the words are just spilling out of your mouth before you can stop them, "You're never actually here when I need you, but when you are, you can't take the fucking hint of when I just want you to leave me alone!"

"Sometimes Simon," you pause, feeling the tears flood into your vision, making the floor blurry, "I wonder why I even stay when you are just going to end up hurting me exactly like he did," you whisper, staring hard at the ground, your chest puffing in and out quickly, trying to pull in air after your large outburst.

The words come out in a whisper, the room becoming so silent that you can almost hear the gears in his head turning, wondering who the hell you were talking about.

You hear him take a step forward on the wood flooring, his voice incredibly soft, “Dove.”

You look up through the tears and see his hands reaching out for you, and for the first time in all the time you two have been together, Simon Riley almost looks scared—not scared of you but as if his world was coming apart.

When his hand gently touches your arm, it pulls you out of your stupor, making you pull away, frantically shaking your head, “Don’t touch me.”

The words come out shaky and broken, but they make him freeze nonetheless, and you can see in his eyes that he’s trying to pull himself together, trying to figure out what he's supposed to do in a situation like this.

He takes a small step back, his gaze fixed on yours, and he holds his hands out in front of him, as if to demonstrate that he is not a threat. "Okay, I won't touch you." He comes to a halt, seeing the fear in your eyes, the look of a frightened animal ready to flee at any moment. "It's okay, love, everything's fine-"

He doesn't even finish his sentence before you're flying down the hallway, grabbing your bag from the hooks by the front door and bolting out the door, slamming it loudly behind you, leaving him standing halfway down the hallway, his mouth slack-jawed, unsure of what the hell just happened.

~~~

After nearly ten minutes of fast walking, you finally slowed down and stopped in the nearest store to clean your face of tear marks and, hopefully, make yourself look presentable. You sent a quick text to Simon, letting him know that you were safe and that you didn't know when you'd be back. You left your phone on long enough to see him read the message and the text bubble pop up before you shut the phone completely off and tucked it into the bottom of your bag.

You spent the next two hours wandering aimlessly, wondering if you'd just ruined your relationship with the only man you'll ever love, when you came across the small Italian restaurant where Simon had taken you on your first date. You remember the way you tried to pay for your half of the dinner, but he quickly slipped his card to the waitress before you could even argue, saying something about how if you decided not to go on a second date with him, you deserved to at least get a free meal from it, and you teased him by asking him if there was a reason you shouldn't want to go on another date with him.

The memories make your stomach queasy, making you want to kick yourself in the back for being so stupid, but you walk in and order your and Simon's favorite dishes and try to keep the food as warm as possible on your walk back to your shared home. One side of you hopes you’ll find him there, not an empty house, and the other side wants to avoid this conversation for as long as possible.

You walk up the steps, and most of the house seems to be dark except for the living room, where a single light is on. You unlock the door and try as quietly as possible to slip your shoes off while also trying not to drop the food.

You make your way towards the living room to find Simon sitting on the couch, his elbows on his knees, and his face buried in his hands. You look over to the coffee table and see bags with your favorite restaurant's logo tied off, trying to keep the heat in the bags, making your heart ache with the fact that he still thought of you after you treated him like complete trash.

He was the first man ever to treat you with so much love. Even while he was deployed, he was making efforts to show you that he cared, like scheduling a delivery of your favorite flowers to show up on your day off with a little note, paying for over a month's worth of your order at your favorite coffee shop, and bringing back little trinkets from the places he was deployed too.

You knew him being deployed wasn’t his fault; it was part of his job. You knew he wasn't your dad and that it wasn't Simon’s fault that the man who was supposed to love you treated you as if you weren't even his child but rather just another one of his soldiers.

It wasn’t his fault that your dad wouldn't be home for months on end; it wasn’t his fault that the last time you ever saw your dad, you told him you hated him for never being home; it wasn't his fault that the day your dad was supposed to come home from a four-month deployment, instead of hearing him come home, there were four hard knocks on the door; it wasn't his fault that two soldiers were standing at the door; it wasn’t his fault that they were holding a folded-up flag with your dad’s military dog tags on them.

It. Wasn’t. His. Fault.

Yet you treated him as if it were. You didn't know which was worse, the fact that he didn't already know about what happened to your dad or the fact that you wished he did so that he could have a reason to hate you for lashing out.

You step into the room, setting the food you got by the food he ordered. “Simon?”

He doesn’t move for a second, then he looks up at you, and you feel your heart shatter for the umpteenth time tonight. “Oh, Simon,” you whisper, moving so that you’re standing in front of him and drop down onto your knees, “I am so fucking sorry. I don't even have the words to tell you how sorry I am. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you… I should’ve just talked to you instead of letting it build up.”

You move your hands up to gently cradle his face in both your hands and connect your eyes with his molten ones, which usually provided you with comfort. Now, though, all you can see is the look he gave you after you yelled at him, “I— I never should have let my feelings bottle up about me being upset about you having to be gone. I know it's not your fault. I knew what I was getting myself into when we made things official all those years ago. I knew what your job would bring before then; I made the choice to be with you. I'll never regret that.’’

You move your eyes across his face, trying to gauge his emotions, but you get nothing.

“Si, baby?” you whisper.

His eyes move away from you. “Who were you talking about when you said I'm just going to hurt you like he did?’’

You look away, your eyes settling on a loose string on his pants. “I was talking about my dad.” You take a deep breath before continuing, knowing that you have to tell him, “H– He was military like you.”

His hand reaches out to gently lift your chin, bringing your gaze to his. “He died,” you continue, “He died and the last time I ever saw him, I told him I hated him because he was always gone. He…I let him go that day without saying goodbye or telling him I loved him, and the next time I saw him, his body was in a casket."

"Love," he says with a gentle frown.

"No, Simon," you say, shaking your head. Just because I’m scared—no, fucking terrified—of that happening again with you doesn't give me the right to treat you that way. I am so sorry.”

He leans back in the couch and pulls you up into his lap; once you're comfortable, he brings his hands up so that one is cupping your cheek and the other trails down your arm to hold your hand. "Dove, I know what it's like to lose family. I know what it can do to you. I understand that pain more than you know. Pain like that is unlike anything else.”

Tears well up in your eyes, and you blink them away quickly before they fall. "You've lost family, too?"

He nods gently, and you can see deep emotions that seemed to have been buried for a long time beginning to surface. “My mum, my younger brother Tommy, and his wife Beth.” He closes his eyes, and when he opens them, they are filled with unshed tears. “My nephew Joseph.”

You can feel the back of your throat starting to burn from keeping your tears in, but you push your forehead against his anyway. “Simon.”

He looks into your eyes before whispering, “I wish I could tell you it would stop hurting eventually, but I can’t. I’m not going to lie to you and say I’ll always make it back home to you; that's not something I can guarantee, but one thing I can promise is that I will always try my damn hardest to make it back. I will always fight with everything in my soul to make it back to you.”

Tears are softly running down your face at this point, falling to land on Simon’s hoodie. “I love you so much, sweets. I never want to lose you.”

You let out a choked cry before you kissed him gingerly, and you could taste the saltiness of your tears mixed in with all the flavors that reminded you of Simon. Of home.

“I love you so much too, Si.”

He leans in to kiss you again with a light press of his lips to yours before he pulls away and looks at the forgotten food on the coffee table and lets out a light chuckle, “I see we both had the same idea.”

You let out a shaky laugh and nod your head before snuggling your head into the warm crook of his neck. He runs a large hand up and down your back, slowly stopping at the bottom to rub gentle circles into a spot that usually bothers you. "Well, why don’t we eat, and maybe in the morning we can talk a little bit more.”

Yawning into his neck, you pull back and ask, “Can we finish the movie I was watching earlier? It was just getting to the good part before I stopped it.”

He nods, and you excitedly get out of his lap to get your blanket and the TV remote before he pulls the coffee table closer to the couch so that he can start opening the containers. Once you start the movie, you look over to Simon to find him already watching you with a soft look, and all you can think is how thankful you are to have found a man who loves you through all your faults and you through his.

You were grateful for ever getting the chance to be loved by Simon Riley, a man who truly believed that he couldn’t love and that he wasn’t worth loving. You knew that it would probably take your whole lives to heal from the things you've both been through, but as long as you were together, that was all that mattered.

Hi my lovelies, I hope you enjoyed this hc for Price and Simon! Feedback is appreciated but not necessary. As always I hope you have a great day/night. <3

Requests are open so feel free to send in some! I cannot promise when or if I will write them, but I do prefer requests that are slightly more specific as I find them easier to write but it's not required. Thanks for reading my darlings! ♡

896 notes · View notes

tealeafgrimm · 1 year

Text

Wrongly Accused

Fred Weasley x Reader

Words: 1.1k

Summary: You didn't like him. And for a good reason. At least that's what you thought. But as it turns out, the reason for your quarrel is not his fault at all.

A/N: I am so sorry! I'm very stressed with my job at the moment and just can't find enough time to write. I really want to get back to my schedule, but for now I think I'll just post whenever I can. So please bear with me. I hope you still enjoy this one-shot.

---

That was just your luck. Of all people, you had to work with HIM. Of all the people in the class, he was the one. You didn't know whether to laugh hysterically or cry. If you hadn't been completely wrong, you could have sworn that Professor McGonagall had even smiled slightly when she had read out your names. The old witch knew exactly what she had done. You were sure of that.

While the whole school (apart from maybe the Slytherins) loved the Weasley twins, you were at war with them. Well, actually, only with Fred Weasley. Since your first year at Hogwarts, you couldn't stand each other and you always clashed. And he was the one you were supposed to be with, preparing your transformation project? You would have been better off with Moaning Myrtle. You'd have been able to stand her better than Fred Weasley's face.

And Fred, too, was thunderstruck at the mention of your name as his project partner. While his twin brother laughed, Fred gave you a scathing look, which you were only too happy to return.

"Now that the groups have been divided, please get together to discuss the next steps. Remember, the grade of the project is one third of the final mark. Therefore, I advise you to make an effort. Transformation classes will be cancelled for the next three weeks so that you can use the time to complete your project. If you have any questions or problems, please see me in my office hours," Professor McGonagall announced, before gesturing for you to get together in your respective partner groups.

Neither Fred nor you moved. Only when Angelina Johnson hinted to Fred that she needed his space to work with George did he reluctantly stand up. Inwardly you grinned that he had to make the first move. Your pride wouldn't have allowed it. With an expression on his face as if he had been told he was to spend the next three weeks alone with Professor Snape, he dropped into the chair beside you without saying a word.

There was an unsettling silence between you before you decided to say something.

"Okay, listen Weasley. I know you don't care about your grade. But I do. And I'm not going to let your incompetence get me a bad grade at the end of the semester, understand? So, if you still want to enjoy your life, I suggest you follow my rules and at least use your remaining brain cells on this project."

"And why should I do that?" asked Fred, annoyed, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Because you don't want to know what happens if you don't. I'll meet you in that empty classroom on the third floor during normal hours, understand?"

"Like I'm scared of you," he laughed maliciously, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, I never said anything about being scared. But I happen to know all those secret passages you always use. And it really would be a shame if the teachers knew about them, wouldn't it. And I also know that the little 'accident' the Slytherins had last week wasn't Peeves' fault. Maybe I should clear that up sometime too," you hissed at him. With satisfaction, you could see the colour drain from Fred's face.

“You wouldn’t”, Fred hissed. “Try me and find out”, you shrugged your shoulders, clearing your desk, ready to leave the classroom. “Don’t be late Weasley.”

~~~

You didn't know how you had survived the next few days without being at each other's throats. But with each day your emotions bubbled more and more.

After barely a week, you finally had enough.

"Say that again and I swear to you Weasley, you'll wish you'd never been born!"

"Sitting here with you makes me wish that all the time!"

"You're such an ignorant idiot do you know that? Life is not just a joke!" Your voice was getting louder and louder and you could hear the vein at your temple throbbing.

"And you're obnoxious! Do you even have friends at this school? I don't think anyone likes you anyway!"

"I have friends! Imagine being friends with people without constantly doing something at someone else's expense!"

"You're one to talk! You're always up in my business!"

"Well, YOU deserve it! After all, you started it!"

For a few seconds Fred looked at you in amazement before exploding.

"I started it? You're just way too sensitive. How vindictive are you? Just because I threw food at you once when I wanted to hit Lee?!"

Now you were speechless. Perplexed, you looked at Fred.

"What are you talking about?" Your voice took on a normal pitch.

"Well, the first year Halloween feast? George and I wanted to start a food fight. I wanted to throw mashed potatoes at Lee, you leaned forward over the table and I hit you right in the face?"

You remembered the situation that you hadn't thought about it in ages and began to laug out loud.

"I haven't thought about that at all!", you snorted as Fred looked at you open-mouthed.

"I don't understand. I thought that was the reason we were fighting?", he finally asks as you wiped away a tear from the corner of your eye.

"What, I wouldn't have been mad about that! I'm all about that Potions lesson where you deliberately threw that stinky tincture at me that made me come out with pustules all over my face!"

Now it was Fred who started laughing.

"Oh, you think that's funny huh?" you asked angrily. You had spent hours in the hospital wing before Madame Pomfrey could make the painful pustules disappear.

"That wasn't me! That was George!", Fred finally replied, trying to suppress another laugh.

"That wasn't you at all? It's still not funny!

"I'm sorry, you're right. I just can't believe that all this time we thought the origin of everything was two completely different things. And in the end, I wasn't even involved. And just so you know, George felt awful afterwards, he just thought your hair was changing colour. He wanted to apologise but he didn't know what to say."

For a while you sat next to each other without saying anything. Finally Fred held out his hand to you. Wonderingly you looked at him.

"Well, I guess now that we know that I never actually did anything to you, we can bury the war hatchet, can't we?" he asked and winked at you.

"Hmm, I don't know, depends a bit on how the mark turns out for our project," you replied, smiling at him before returning his handshake.

"I still think you're taking the whole grade thing too seriously. Maybe we should just..." But before he could finish his sentence, you raised your hand to silence him.

"Don't finish that sentence Weasley. You may not have done anything then, but that doesn't mean I can't change my mind. So get to work and you're not dismissed until we finish the assignments."

#fred weasley one shot #fred weasley fic #fred weasley fanfiction #fred weasley #fred weasely x y/n #fred weasly x reader #fred weasley x you #george weasley #harry potter series #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter #reader insert #harry potter oneshot #one shot

272 notes · View notes

deancasbigbang · 7 months

Text

Title: Then Till Now

Author: silver_penny

Artist: spiffyflypie

Rating: Teen

Pairings: Dean/Cas, Sam/Eileen, Dean & Sam, Dean & Charlie, Cas & Anna, Cas & Claire

Length: 20000

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Tags: 17776 AU, human/nonhuman relationship, alien invasion, happy ending, dialogue-heavy, rocketry

Posting Date: November 1, 2023

Summary: It's the year 17776, and Dean Winchester is used to the peace. Humanity has stabilized the climate, vanquished world hunger, and achieved equitable global co-operation. Nanobots swoop down to heal every little paper cut, and if no one is born anymore, well, no one dies either. When the Cassini-Huygens space probe crashes into his life – newly conscious, bluntly sarcastic, and deeply skeptical of humanity's late triumph – it's the most interesting thing to have happened to Dean in millennia. But out in deep space, something truly interesting is stirring...

Excerpt: Bobby’s wrong about the house – it’s not too big, not for Sioux Falls and especially not for their family – but when he opens the door and the creak echoes out into a cavernous empty space, it kind of feels that way. Dean ends up in the Deancave, curling up in the best seat and summoning up something old and a little mindless to watch. Hello. It’s the first thing he’s heard in hours, and for a moment Dean doesn’t even recognize it as another person. But it lingers, the way real environmental sounds do. Dean mutes the TV. “Hello?” Yes. Dean bites his lip. “Hello, yeah. You okay?” I’m not sure. “Alright. What’s up? Can I help?” I am unsure if that is something you are capable of doing. Dean blinks. “Okay. You just soliciting or something? Sorry, man, not interested.” I am not...soliciting. “Okay?” I have no interest in solicitation. “So any reason you decided to barge into my evening, then? If you don’t need anything, you don’t want anything...” I am talking to you on the advice of my brother. “Who’s your brother?” Pioneer G. Dean blinks again and then slowly sets his remote control back down. “The – the space probe? Pioneer G?” He likes to be called Gabriel. Of course he does. “You’re talking to me from space?” There’s a very long pause. Yes. “Huh.” I don’t know where else I would be talking from. “Yeah,” Dean says, “of course not.” You are also talking to me from space. “From Earth,” Dean says absently. “Not quite the same thing.” There had been, of course, probes on the news. How humanity built something that, millennia later, could wake up like that, for lack of a better term...that was still a mystery. The scientists were all over it, of course, but maybe a little less urgently than they might have been, once upon a time. And now there was a spacecraft interrupting his show. Dean clears his throat. “So, um, any reason your brother thought I would be the best person for this conversation?” He didn’t. Now Dean squints at the ceiling. “You know, you’re not doing a great job answering my questions.” There’s a beat. Two beats. My apologies. Gabriel requested that I “go find one of those humans to chat with if you want to talk so much.” You were in an optimal position. “I am, huh?” Yes. “You mean, like...spatially? Cosmically?” Your position on Earth is optimal for transmission at the current moment. Also I can see your television. Huh. “So who are you, then?” Dean asks. He kicks up his feet a bit and studies the ceiling, imagining the moon and stars that might show behind it, once the sun goes down. He racks his brains, but even back when the space program was at its height, it didn’t make top thousand on the Winchester priority list. “Hubble? Sputnik?” Sam would know more. Cassini-Huygens. Dean catches his breath.

DCBB 2023 Posting Schedule

#dcbb 2023 #fic preview #2023 promo #deancas #destiel

38 notes · View notes

stevengrant-enthusiast · 1 year

Text

Drunken Confessions

note: Hello!1 I'm having brain rot and currently procrastinating on my research paper. and instead, I wrote this. This is the first fic I've ever written, so please be kind! Please excuse any grammatical mistakes (I wrote this at 2 am). I don't know if anyone will actually read the shit that I post here, but I'm just gonna use this blog as a creative outlet. Love ya'll and enjoy

SUMMARY: You are sad because of Jake Lockley. You are drunk. You tell him that you are sad in your drunk state. That's it.

Pairing: Jake Lockley x gn!Reader (Marc and Steven mentioned)

Rating: fluff! and angst?? Kissing. idk

Warnings: ***I DO NOT HAVE DID** Unrealistic depiction of DID. If I wrote something that is offense, please let me know and I'll fix it ASAP. mentions of alcohol. Established relationship. No use of y/n.

Word Count:900

♥ ♥ ♥

Drinking when sad is never a good idea. But when your friends drag you along their bar hopping adventures on a Saturday in London, you already knew that getting pissed drunk was inevitable even before the night began.

Your shit attitude tonight didn’t arise from the fact that you were late to your work today or because your boss chewed you out for a mistake your co-worker made on a report, but rather something- or someone- else. Jake Lockley.

It’s so stupid. You know Jake. He’s a night owl and your schedules don’t really match up. He didn’t mean for it to happen but you guys have just been out of sync lately. And before he knew it, it had almost been 2 weeks since you last saw each other. But as the days went on, you couldn’t help but feel that a piece of you was missing- like a black and empty void growing bigger and bigger everyday.

You guessed that tonight (plus the alcohol) was the final straw, the tipping moment that sent you into a dizzy nightmare of paranoia. Or more realistically, your sobriety had left you along with your rationale and critical thinking skills, because by the end of the night, you had fallen into the deep conspiracy that Jake was avoiding you. He didn’t love you anymore and never wanted to see you again.

And before you could clear your head of this catastrophe of a thought, you were at their doorstep. Still drunk and wobbly.

Slowly, you give three knocks on the door and it opens almost immediately- it’s Jake. You figure (even in your drunken state) from his hat and tie that he is on his way out for the night shift as a cab driver. It’s Saturday night, so yeah. A lot of drunk strangers are probably looking for a ride back home at this hour.

But right now, you see him. In his white shirt. A little scruff of a beard. You didn’t mean to cry, but you couldn’t help the tears that fell fervently at the beautiful sight of him.

“Mi vida?! What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Did someone hurt you?”

Of course his mind would go to that. But instead of answering, you just look at him with glassy eyes and a slight frown. His eyes are blown open with concern and his brows in a furrow. His hands are readily reaching out in a desperate attempt to comfort you.

You subside the tears for a moment to gather the courage to ask him the impending question that has been bothering you for the past couple hours.

“Jake.. Where have you been? I missed you..”

His face relaxes and tilts slightly up in realization. He pulls you inside the flat by the waist and holds you close.

“Lo siento mi alma… I’ve been so busy lately. I’ve neglected you.”

Your heart breaks silently at his words. Here’s Jake, busting his ass on his job. Dealing with annoying drunks every night and coming home at the crack of dawn. And you’re selfishly centering yourself in his problems. You look up at him with a face somehow sadder than before.

“No, no. Don’t be sorry. you didn’t do anything wrong. I- I just thought you didn’t want to see me anymore. I’m sorry.”

“That's insane mi corazón, you know that. But I'm so sorry for making you feel that way. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“It's just.. just sometimes I'm too sensitive I guess. And.. I feel like I'm not there for you when you need my support or anything else.”

You choke on your words as they come up. In an attempt to fight the tears that are on the verge of spilling, you bite your lower lip and bury your face into his chest, soaking up his white shirt.

Jake gently cups your face in his big hands and tilts it to meet your gaze. He looks at you with his puppy dog eyes that kind of remind you of Steven. But unlike Steven, his look carries a sternness behind them. It's a bittersweet look, but it tells you that he's here for you. And he is serious about you.

“No. You’re perfect for me. You don't owe me anything. And I’ve missed you too, angel. so much.”

“I care about you Jake. I wanna know what you’re up to, y’know? I wanna hear about your day..”

“I know love. I’ll come out more often I swear. I guess I didn’t want to bother when you spend time with Steven or Marc.”

Your heart swoons at him concerning over your relationship with the other moonboys. You love them all equally so so much.

And the truth is, of course Jake missed you. Everything about you. But for him, just seeing you through the eyes of Marc and Steven was enough. The mere sight of you gave him all the strength he needed to go on about his day. He just forgot for a second that you also need him as well. The thought makes his heart warm and he smiles.

“I wanna spend time with you too, dumbass!” you reply.

You both start laughing and before you know it, you’re kissing him. It's a little sloppy, given your state, but it's with earnest conviction. You kiss him like he’s water and you’re dying of dehydration on a blazing desert. It’s a kiss that’s gentle yet powerful, both parties so needy but cautious. It’s crazy. You didn’t know you were capable of giving and receiving so much love before meeting these three. And you thank the stars for letting their paths cross with yours.

To your disliking, you part from his lips.

“When do you have to leave?” you ask.

He checks his phone for the time.

“In thirty or forty minutes? Why?”

At his response, you crash your lips back onto his face and push him to the bedroom.

♥ ♥ ♥

THANK YOU FOR READING. Maybe ill write a part two if I can gather the courage to write smut.. As of now, I can't do it without getting into a laughing fit all alone in my dorm, making me look like the JokerTM. (I think my roommates are worried).

#moon knight #marc spector #steven grant #jake lockley #jake lockley x reader #jake lockley x you #jake lockley x gender neutral reader #moon knight fanfic #moon knight fic #oscar issac #marvel #mcu #moon knight x reader #moon knight x you

122 notes · View notes

frecklystars · 1 year

Note

I don't think people get how reclaiming things after trauma works 'why is she reblogging pink if it triggers her' or 'why is she talking about starscream'. when people are hurt and abused, because it sounds like M was abusive to you, then things that you love become triggers and truamatic. however, it is completely normal for you to attempt to reclaim those things by trying to interact with them in ways that are comfortable to you. i remember a while ago i was stalked by someone and it ruined one of my summers. for about two years i couldn't walk down the same path because it triggered me. however, little by little i began to gather enough strength to at least look that direction and walk down it a bit some days. a year later i was able to walk down the whole path. that is how reclaiming things you love after trauma works. so i think anon needs to understand that

Firstly, thank you for sending me a message about it, that's nice of you to validate my feelings. I’ve gotten a few asks about it in my inbox, harmless questions, I can see why people who haven’t experienced triggers can be a bit confused! And the anon was very nice when asking, I don’t think anyone has intentionally tried to be like “ummm WHY would you reblog things that are pink if that’s a trigger 🤔” or at least not intentional that I'm aware of lol. Hell, I’m still figuring it out, I don’t understand why my brain has to react the way it does. There can be 500 people with ptsd standing in one room, all of them with one single trigger that they all have in common, and all of them can be reacting to it differently, simply depending on their sleep schedule, what they're eating, how they take care of their body and how they're keeping their mind/spirit healthy, or how far along they are on their healing journey, whether or not they've tried to reclaim this trigger or if they've been avoiding it, how much support they get from their peers, etc. And you can put these people in the same room the day after, and all of them could react to the trigger differently than they did the day before. The brain is weird!! And I am not a professional, I am not a doctor, I can't explain how it works.

I’m so sorry to hear you had that happen to you. That sounds horrifying. But hearing that you were able to reclaim that path at your own pace, that’s wonderful news to hear, and I’m so happy you were able to overcome your trigger!! That's huge!! I am celebrating with you, my friend, I am sending you all of my love. That's something to be so proud of!! Ptsd is so fucking difficult to overcome and it’s a whole different level of difficult when you are ready to finally take the steps to actually fully overcome it, because healing is so messy, and healing means you’re facing the triggers head-on. It's not easy!!! You are so brave to want to walk down that path again and I’m really thankful you told me about it, I know it takes a lot of time and energy to send messages and I appreciate that you spent that time and energy sending this to me. Some people have been invalidating my triggers lately, and yeah I know I have a lot of "dumb" triggers but they're still hurting me, so it’s very comforting to hear somebody in my inbox tell me “hey your feelings are valid, I know because I went through something similar."

So yes! Thank you! Reclaiming triggers takes time and work and,,, my god I want to get better so bad. I’ve had ptsd before from a single traumatic event when I was a teenager which I was thankfully able to overcome 100% totally and completely after a few years... but I've never had complex ptsd before from several traumatic events by someone who I trusted, I’ve never had multiple triggers all at once before, and I’ve never had my own comfort characters become the triggers. This is a fucking rollercoaster for me.

Plus a lot of people are looking at the things I'm reblogging... from over a year ago. There are 900+ posts in my queue, all of them before I shut down my blog, before my ex-friend started to make me feel unsafe. Pink, self ship, transformers, Hailee Steinfeld wearing the same kinds of clothes my ex-friend likes to wear, all of those things are in my queue and they're automatically posted to my blog everyday. If I had a way to pause the queue, I'd honestly rather just do that, but maybe it's better that they're posting, because at least I'm seeing them (on days that I'm online, that is) and remembering I loved those things for a reason. I loved to blog about these things bc they used to make me feel comforted and safe and happy. These things did not hurt me, a person did. These things are not going to plan to harm me. A person did.

If there's a day when I genuinely can't handle any of the posts bc a trigger might be super bad that day, I won't go online where I have potential of viewing it. Every day feels completely different to me. I never predict what I'm gonna be able to handle until I actually wake up and face the day. Yesterday I had nonstop flashbacks when I was at work, and nothing was even triggering the flashbacks, it was just... happening. I was feeling the typical anxiety attack you see in movies where you're hyperventilating and crying and shaking, all that shit. And today when I had more flashbacks, I just froze in place for a few minutes and couldn't move. No crying, no shaking, nothing dramatic. I couldn't look at the color pink for about 20 minutes after I woke up, but I can look at it right now 3 hours later and remind myself "hey it's all good. Princess Bubblegum is pink. I love my Princess Bubblegum figurine. I love my candy girlfriend. I love my cameo from Princess Bubblegum's voice actor. I love pink. Pink is one of my favorite colors. I'm safe right now." And maybe within a month from now, pink won't be a trigger at all anymore. Pink is so!!! important to me!!! I love pink I love pink I love pink!!! and I don't want someone to ruin it for me forever. Just like transformers, I want to reclaim these things that were ruined for me and love them again. My love for them after overcoming this will be even stronger than before!!

Plus, I think people are assuming that my ptsd just happened a week ago, since I've only just come back to tumblr, that these triggers should be fresh to me and they expect me to not be able to handle them at all. And yeah they are super fresh to me and yeah I AM having trouble handling them, the wounds keep reopening. but the triggers themselves started in January, when my ex-friend lied to me about something I really cared about, she said something specific that felt like such a huuuge betrayal to me and I was so, so devastated, and just straight up scared, and that is when these triggers formed. I was hurting almost every second of every day. I'm still hurting every day, it's still consuming hours and hours of my life, I'm still unable to get through the day without having meltdowns, I feel powerless... but I am able to give myself 30 minutes of peace if I am distracting myself with a cartoon or a game or something. Or sometimes I just have to take a sleeping pill and go to bed super early bc I can't turn my thoughts off otherwise. Sometimes I can distract myself, which isn't a lot, but before I couldn't do it at all. It's only been a month since I've been able to permanently distance myself from the person who caused these triggers, so the healing part is still very new and at the beginning stage. but then again, it's been 5 months since these triggers used to be so bad that I was constantly in and out of hospitals... so the major triggers turned into minor triggers over time, if that makes sense -- like for example, seeing Starscream used to ruin me, I felt like I couldn't look at him at all back in January. which is awful bc that's our anniversary month. But now! Months later, I can look at him all the time! I just cry when I do! I just feel incredibly sad, because I love him but I don't think he loves me anymore. But that's progress, that's better than before when I couldn't even look at him at all! Just like you, you had to start small and simply look at the path, which was such a huge step of progress, because there was a time when you couldn't look at it at all. But then you could even walk on it!! That's seriously worth celebrating!!! I'm so proud of you anon, I really really am!!

Healing is not linear at all, but like you said, I want to reclaim these things and I'm doing it in a way that feels comfortable to me, whether it's making a gifset of Starscream and posting it when I feel okay, or coloring a picture and drawing myself in a pink crop top and my signature shorts. I actually wore a pink skirt last week, I took pics of myself in it, and I wasn't bothered at all that day. Baby steps!!

Sorry I jumped all over the place there anon, but I really appreciate you telling me this. My triggers have felt really silly bc there's just so many, and I've gotten a few messages where people are calling them stupid... but your message made me feel a lot better honestly, so thank you for reaching out to me ❤

#anonymous #asks #keepsake #ptsd #long post #i think. sorry my response is so long #im not used to talking to ppl again so now when im replying im rly a waterfall of words

15 notes · View notes

kalpasio · 2 years

Note

HIII!! THANK YOU for feeding the place kalpas has in my heart you’re honestly a keeper to everyone in the kalpas community!🧡 this came to me literally only 2 hours before halloween (for me) but late or not I cannot fight the urge to send this

hear me out here please just hear me out🙏 Kalpas halloween fic!! or just a halloween fic/hcs with all the flame chasers like their costumes some type of scenario and literally anything you could think of that reminds you of halloween and the flame chasers because who doesn’t like Halloween? Like said it’s a little bit too late but I had to share my idea with someone and if you can’t write about it that’s completely understandable as well!

Again thank you SO SO much for feeding the kalpas community because I used to never see ANYTHING about him. Looking forward to all the future fics you write!! AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE 🧡🖤

It's Monday and Halloween!!!! You know what that means! Lots and lots of words below the cut, and none of them the words I promised last week! I saw this ask last night and started crying because you are so nice immediately was in love with the idea! So without further ado, I present, HALLOWEEN! 🧡🖤🧡🖤

Just kidding, you have to scroll past more nonsense before you can get to the good stuff

That first part of the ask my brain went "WOW!" and then immediately to that Doofenshmirtz meme where he goes “by default!! My Favorite way to win!!!” I know I’m not the only writer or person making content in the community, and I’m honestly super super happy you guys like my works and I’m delighted to be part of the Kalpas community!

Halloween is like. My absolute favorite. Very sad I never decorate for it, but it holds a special place in my heart. So I was thrilled to get this request, especially because I’m back on my “the story got out of hand” bullshit and don’t have this week’s fic done If I ever get 2 out in a row it’ll be a miracle I am sorry.

So this started as like HCs and I was gonna do all the Flame Chasers during Halloween, but I, once again, losT CONTROL OF MY WRITING. I just wanted to do a few bullet points for Kalpas, and now I have THIRTY THREE. AND I AM NOT DONE.

So 👏 because I am horrible at posting on time I made the schedule and I still never follow it, and can’t stop myself from going overboard with the Kalpas writing, you’re getting basically a whole story, but it’s in like a list format because I will turn this into another 20k word fic if given the opportunity. Actually, it probably will turn into a full story eventually how many times have I said that? but for now! I present! Way Too Many Thoughts On Halloween Kalpas! (insert Kermit arms here)

Ok, Griseo is obviously not the only kid on base, but because of her and her parents, trick-or-treating on base is a whole thing.

Even Kevin will hand out candy

(Actually Dr. Mei hands it out, he just stands there menacingly, but at least he tries)

Kalpas scares most of the kids, so he’s one of those people to leave the basket outside the door.

He doesn’t just leave it tho

Man sits there watching the security feed for his door like it’s fucking TV

One kid grabs too much and he slams the door open and goes “HEY”

Kid books it

You’re across the hall handing out candy and can’t help but laugh

He looks straight at you

Kid you’re giving candy to runs away as well

Cue awkward laugh and door slam

End of the night he’s pounding on your door

Because this man doesn’t know how to knock normally or use a doorbell, you can’t convince me otherwise

You value your life, so you don’t answer the door because it’s Kalpas

He finds you later anyway

“Your pumpkin”

“My jack-o’lantern?

“Sure”

“What about it?”

“Do one for me.”

“It’s past Halloween?”

“Next year.”

“Okay????”

(sad part I am sorry)

After Griseo’s parents die, everyone wants to do something to cheer her up

Elysia and Eden suggest summerween, and like who’s gonna argue with them

Kalpas comes back to you about the jack-o’lantern

He wants you to do one with his mask on it

But he won’t give you his mask

Or let you take a picture or anything

So now he’s just sitting in your kitchen while you carve out this design

He actually makes decent company

Little awkward when you offer him a drink and he just stares at you

You guys talk and yes he is very murder-y, but he also is kinda funny and you both get along surprisingly well

The pumpkin turns out really well

Even though it’s Kalpas’ mask, and he’s scary, everyone (kids included) think it’s super cool

Since the kids really like you, he stays at your place and you both answer the door

You kinda cancel each other out, so the kids aren’t as scared of him, but they’re also bouncing off the walls to go to your door

You have the GOOD candy. You know, like king sized bars and plenty of variety. You’re invested

It’s nice to have company, and even if he doesn’t show it at the door, Kalpas is excited to see the kids excited

You leave a random Halloween movie on in the background to watch when you’re not answering the door

Eventually, the kids start coming less frequently

You two just end up watching a whole movie together

Ok, now imagine it’s Halloween again, and you guys are dating this time around.

ONE HUNDRED MILLION PERCENT you have the best door.

this man literally has a jack-o'-lantern mask when he goes into his second phase, you know he loves Halloween

We’re talkin

Spider webs

Multiple jack-o’-lanterns

Purple, green and orange lights around the frame

A skeleton by the door

Because your room and his are across the hall from each other, you make like spooky tree archway

MORE spider webs

Bubbling cauldron in front of Kalpas’ door

(to let people know not to go there)

Fog machine under his door

Warning signs written in fake blood

You name it, it’s there

Elysia is very jealous, she’s won the past 3 door decorating contests but you win by a mile

she says it's cheating because you had two doors, but she uses Eden's door too

Even before Halloween, you guys are just enjoying fall

You make pumpkin pie together

He makes it actually

You just sit nearby and try to steal little bits

It doesn’t work, but you can usually convince him to give you a kiss instead, since you’ve obviously been robbed

You drink apple cider and almost make yourself sick on candy corn

He stops you, but you have a secret stash

You make apple pie together

He makes the crust, but you cut all the apples so you’re helping! Even if you do sneak one or two slices

There is a whole list of movies you have to get through before Halloween night

They range from cheesy horror

like classics that have just been overplayed to the point of being bad

To actually scary movies

He’s wearing a mask so you don’t know if he’s scared, but you sure as hell are

he lets you move his arm around however you need to feel safe

Won’t turn the movie off tho

“You made the list”

“I didn’t think it was this bad!”

“I want to know how it ends”

and like, you're not gonna leave your safe spot next to him, so you're just stuck there

To movies meant more for kids

Halloweentown, Nightmare Before Christmas you can watch that twice a year, Over the Garden Wall, that sorta thing

Kalpas complains that they’re for kids, but he sits through the whole thing every time

Kalpas refuses to do matching costumes

He doesn’t wear any sort of costume, which you think is mega lame

He is pretty scary on his own though, so you let it slide

Overall, Halloween is the best time of the year

Because of all the ways you get to celebrate

But also, it’s the beginning of colder weather and you can sit next to Kalpas without boiling

It’s also the time of year he’s most likely to take his mask off for you

You’re so happy to decorate, and he’s legally obligated to kiss you when you smile like that

(unrelated HC, if he wants to kiss you but there’s people around, he’ll just stare at you until they leave because he’s being creepy, or you get the hint and go somewhere private. Won’t let people see his face, but is not at all shy at letting them know how much he cares for you)

that's it

that's all I got

I do want to do HCs for all the Flame chasers celebrating Halloween at some point, so maybe if I'm feelin spicy and I finish this gosh darn story I was supposed to do like 5 weeks ago I'll do another Halloween post. In the mean time, I hope this will tide you over to next week when I post a story that's so long no one wants to read it!

Happy Halloween!!

#kalpas x reader #honkai x reader #azaryawrites #halloween post!#you guys have the best ideas #thank you so much for sending them!#watch me post like twice a week over break #because I actually have free time lol #Soft Kalpas anon: I hope this is happier for you!#I will actually write a happy piece eventually #I swear I can write something other than angst

39 notes · View notes

thefakerachelray · 1 year

Text

Random Miraculous Thoughts: Deflagration Edition!

I know I’m a little late but I literally didn’t know this episode was coming out until yesterday after it had already been released. This show is a pain to keep up with lol

Alya saying “did I miss an episode?” made me laugh. I love a good fourth wall break.

Followed by Marinette saying “there have been no new episodes”. YEAH THERE SURE HAVEN’T BECAUSE THIS SHOW CAN NEVER HAVE A CONSISTENT SCHEDULE.

“We’re not in a relationship” “At least, not so far” sjshfamsvgak ZOE

Further proof for my theory that every Chat Noir automatically flirts with their Ladybug no matter what

I’ve been waiting for the return of the Resistance and their silly sauce-based codenames!

Marinette and Adrien are worried about each other 🥺 They don’t KNOW it’s each other but STILL.

Gabriel’s little dance was absolutely hilarious

“Do you smell that?” “Don’t tell me you’ve been making pancakes again.” Gotta love Nathalie making fun of his cooking.

It’s always cute to see the whole school shipping Marinette and Adrien. I loved everyone giving her thumbs up when she sat with him.

Can we stop akumatizing Chloe? Can we PLEASE stop akumatizing Chloe? Pick literally anyone else I am BEGGING.

It was fun to see Zoe tell her off though.

And the way Lila manipulated her into getting mad…interesting. I would bet she’s still talking to Monarch.

Alya and Zoe just. FREEZING in the middle of their transformation words genuinely made me gasp out loud.

I couldn’t help but think of that one post about Gabriel having to get his ears pierced when he was putting the earrings in.

DOES he have them pierced? I know the Miraculous can change forms, so did they turn into stick-ons for him? Inquiring minds want to know.

I once again forgot about the Miraculous Cure for a minute and was extremely worried about Plagg after he did The Thing

Props to Tikki for coming up with a smart plan. She’s clearly the brains of the Ladybug operation.

“Miraculous Monarchbug” just sounds ridiculous. Sorry Gabriel (no I’m not)

The Resistance finally lives up to their name! Is my “a gang of teenagers takes down Monarch” prediction going to come true?

I didn’t predict them using water guns full of ketchup and mustard though lol

I knew the new holders wouldn’t last long because almost nothing does on this show, but that was faster than I expected.

It does actually make sense though, since Monarch still doesn’t know Ladybug and Chat Noir’s identities.

Aww Plagg wanted to say goodbye to Zoe. That was sweet.

And he gave her a little pep talk 😭 I hope they get to see each other again someday.

“You, me, our kwamis, and the Resistance” REBEL LEADERS LADYBUG AND CHAT NOIR?!

In conclusion I’m still liking this season a lot and I’m interested to see what comes next!

#miraculous ladybug #ml #ml spoilers #ml deflagration #random miraculous thoughts #long post

15 notes · View notes

ziva-uchiha · 1 year

Text

" First impression "

for those who don't know what they mean:

y/n= your name

h/l= hair length

third Pov

"Dear wake up it is the first day of your new school and it is a very special day." the woman said as she shucks the girl lying in bed "Huh five more minutes, please..." y/n said. NO was the last thing they heard before her blankets got pulled off her and the only thing, she felt was the ser cold as she could hear her mother leave the room. after a few minutes of lying there, she got up and when to the shower when she was done, she quickly got dressed, put my h/l hair walked downstairs to see her mom making breakfast.

"Your food is on the table and that is where you are going to eat it." my mom said as she was finishing her food.

fine. she sits down and started to eat her food until she looked at the time. " o god damn it I am late" she said as she got up and put her dish in the sink and was about to run out of the house. " Have a good day dear and when you get home, I will have a special surprise."

bye, mom, I love you see you later she said as she ran out of the house as left the front yard, she took her phone out.

the zero brain cells' GC

(Your username): hey where are you guys at?

mouse queen: me and the other are on our way to your house.

(Your username): ok I will wait for you then please don't take forever.

Y/n POV

as I wait for my friends, I keep hearing screaking I keep looking around for where the sound was coming from, but I could not find where it was coming from. "BOO!!" someone screamed from be hide me as I turn around, I see my best friend hi I say as I try to catch my breath. "Idiot...." I said. Meany was the only thing I heard before I started walking in the direction of my school.

time skip

I said bye to my friends as I walk to the principal's office as soon as I got there I was shocked he was hot.

(-_-) I am not saying that I am simp, but he looks good not going to lie. "Welcome you must be y/n l/n I am the principal my name is Yoko Gushiken"(fun fact: Gushiken means strong-willed) you nothing like the principals I have seen," I said was the only thing that came out of my mouth. he looked very confused. we were just staring at each other it was starting to get boring "I mean that you talk more them any other principal that I know of..." I lied so he would not think I was rude. I get that a lot was the only thing that I heard them he gave me a paper with my name on it and class "this is your schedule you better get to class before you miss second period ok." he said as I think he wants me to get out of his office as fast as possible.

time skip because I am tired.

As I knock on the door waiting for someone to open the door, I start to hear that sound again it is starting to get on my last nerve I look around to find where that sound was coming from, I was about to get mad when the classroom door opened. I stepped into the class and the only people I know in the room were my friends Samantha and Eliana (I am sorry if this is your name) I just waved to them and walked up to the teacher she asked me to introduce myself o god. What do I say calm down and just say your name and something you like to do. I pick up a piece of chalk and...

Saiki k. Pov

"Another new kid the writers are getting lazy at this pot they need to find another way to introduce new characters," I thought as a girl whit h/c h/l hair walked in " Please introduce yourself." the teacher asked. she picked up a piece of chalk and started to write her name "Hello my name is y/n l/n it is nice to meet you all." she said then when to the nearest seat which was right be hide me "god damn that was awkward as hell I swear is Eliana is laughing, I am going to kick her ass." she thought damn wait she knows Eliana I look over to Eliana and Samantha to see them trying to hold back there laughter.

......

Cliff hanger sort of

......

Authors Pov

sorry I hate cliffhangers too, but I want to post this, so I tried my best to finish this as fast as possible I don't know when part two will come out it will take a while with school and all.

Author: do you have anything to want to tell the reader before they go, Saiki

Saiki: no

Author: o come on Saiki say it or no coffee jelly for you

Saiki: fine have a good day/afternoon/night

Author: thank you bye bye my stars have a wonderful day

words: 904

#saiki x reader #anime #y/n story

9 notes · View notes

shrunkupthejams · 1 year

Text

hello tumblr, good timezone! a little life update (which was written at 2am? and gets very rambly and long but *shrugs* i tried to break up the walls of text a bit):

1. did i disappear? yes. will i elaborate on that? not really, i don't feel like it. but i will say that once you take a break from social media it is really hard to go back. it's very freeing, and that made me worried about how tumblr would take over the little free time i have if i came back. also hyperfixations are a lot harder to not hyperfixate on when i frequently spend time on here. overall, idk how long i was gone for, but it was a very good, much needed break that was probably great for my brain.

2. idk if i'm back back yet. we shall see. again productivity is doing much better without any tumblr in my system, as much as i do love spending time here.

3. i have read some very inspiring fics lately and am having many writing thoughts! which is great bc i really fell into a slump that i haven't been able to get out of this year like... back in may, or whatever. unfortunately, i have no time between catching up on missing school work from being sick, my job, and fucking moving. so.

4. not very tumblr relevant, but oh my god im fucking moving. again. story of my life basically. it's. fine. just happened really fast and it's weird to process. im officially in moving limbo for the next two weeks. and that sucks. but it's ultimately good for my system, i think, because i was getting restless waiting for the usual regularly scheduled "big change" in my life, and that quota is now being filled and it's relieving.

5. dear lord i don't even want to look in my notifications.. if anyone tagged me in stuff while i was out... im so sorry but it's likely lost in the pile. avoiding my problems on social media is like my specialty, and my notes is currently one of those problems.

6. (if you see me unfollow a bunch of stranger things blogs (hello, i know some of those are mutuals), im sorry but i clogged my dash with st blogs so bad and i cannot afford slipping into that hyperfixation rn. i can't do that to myself. it's not personal or anything. so um. don't mind me haha.. i should really consider the state of my dash before i follow... but alas, i do not. one of the main reasons i typically avoid the hellscape that is instagram! oh and tbh, i knew it was time to come back to this hellsite when i started casually wasting like. an actual amount of time on instagram semi-regularly. that's when yk it's time to go like fuck i do not want to be in a place where i am wasting time on instagram of all places. wasting time on tumblr is at least tasteful. sorry artists of instagram ily but i simply cannot.)

7. ahaha watch me avoid my sideblogs after this (not that's incredibly relevant). i can only involve myself in social media so much rn...

8. more irl news: after, at least of 2022 and then some of saying i need therapy, i'm finally getting therapy! first appointment booked for this wednesday babey :) thank GOD. definitely needed this after discovering that apparently you can have grandfather issues, as if my current parental issues weren't enough.

9. another irrelevant irl update: i got my license! fucking finally! idk if i ever complained about that on here but YEAH. it feels like so much has changed since i was last active on tumblr..

10. as a final bit of news, since this got fucking long im so sorry, im trying out the name kurtis now. seeing how that fits :)

and um yeah that's how my life is going rn. ill try not to go off in the tags about anything, considering the length of this post. sure makes that relatively new dashboard post shortening feature come in handy tho! haha..

6 notes · View notes

thiscrimsonsoul · 2 years

Text

{out of paprikash} So... my laptop decided to fry its harddrive this morning, and that means a lot of very negative things for me. Explanation and bit of a rant below, but I can’t promise how much writing I will get done tonight. It depends on time, mood, muse, and whether I even feel like being here, given my extreme mood drop. I will try to do what I can.

This has hit me hard for a number of reasons. First, I’ve been so busy that I haven’t backed up my files in six months. That means I’ve lost six months of writing progress on various projects, six months of work on Tumblr (files with tags, info dumps, headcanons, icons, reaction gifs, anything I’ve updated in my archives... it’s just how I organize my brain), and six months of music and photos.

The most heartbreaking of these losses is the writing/editing progress I’ve lost on various WIPs, but also I lost an entire folder containing pictures and videos of a pet that died recently. I had removed them all from my phone already, thinking they were archived on my computer, but hadn’t backed them up yet. It’s like losing him all over again. I also had pictures from my grandmother’s birthday, going out with my dad to our favorite pub, and other family things I can just never get back.

Understandably, and especially given that lately I’ve just been hit with one thing right after the other for several months now and I’m exhausted, this has very much taken me down and made me feel quite defeated. It is especially infuriating because I was planning on backing up all my files today, since I would have some time to finally do it and I just had a terrible feeling like I needed to do it soon. One more day... could have changed so much for me. But here I am.

I do have a backup laptop that I am using right now, but it is very old, very slow, and it has the processing power of a drunken snail. I can’t do the majority of daily things I do with my main laptop on this one, but at least I can still work and answer email so I won’t lose my job and I can do basic writing. No games, nothing with pictures or videos, but just basic stuff. But of course, that won’t help me get any of my files back. My dad is going to work on the drive to see if anything is salvageable, but there is absolutely no guarantee at all that it will be.

But the worst part... is that as of midnight tonight, my students have their first two forums assignments due. Which means... by tomorrow... I will have 600 forums posts to grade by Thursday, and now I have to do that on a slow, old, clunky computer that freezes up or shuts itself off if you so much as look at it funny. To give you an idea, it usually takes me about an hour and a half to grade one section of students. I have five sections. And that timing was with my fast-as-hell main laptop. On this slow ass boi? Who knows how long it will take me now.

And lastly, I cannot be without a fast, reliable computer. My entire job is online. The majority of my hobbies are as well. So... I will have to run out in the next day or so to purchase a brand new computer, having very little time to research which one I want to buy and paying full price because there are no sales going on right now to speak of. This is going to kick my finances in the ass like you would not believe. And when I get it home, I will have hours’ if not days’ worth of installing, configuring, file populating, organizing, anti-virusing, and settings adjusting to accomplish ASAP.

I will likely be getting the new computer Wednesday, since tomorrow I have to work all day, and I need tonight to try to do some research on what to buy. I’m not going to go on hiatus from all my blogs because I think doing some writing will help keep me sane, but my activity may be low until I get the new computer and can situate myself with it.

I’ll update on my other blogs as they are scheduled this week to let you know what’s going on. Please bear with me and sorry for yet another reason why I can’t just be here to write like I want to. Eventually the universe has to run out of things it can fuck up in my life, right? Right? R i g h t ?

#{ out of paprikash } ᵒᵒᶜ #{i had actually been looking forward to today}#{i was going to write the whole day and get a lot done}#{back up all my files}#{it was going to be great}#{and it was like the universe said oh no she's trying to be happy again}#{and get her shit in order}#{we can't have that now can we...}#{i swear i pissed off some primordial god somewhere and he has it in for me because fffffcuk}

4 notes · View notes

jaekaicx · 2 years

Note

I'm late but I just saw the ask thing you rebloged like yesterday, possibly the day before, so I'm here now. Also it's like 23:20

- Things I want to know about you; What's your favorite color? How do you spell the color you get from mixing black and white? What's your favorite number?

- Why I follow you; I saw you around a lot before I actually followed you. It was mostly when I was into toh, I'd see your posts. Then I got into Amphibia and you posted a doodle set of and incorrect quote I posted. I don't think I followed you then, but I remember my sister joking about not following you bc you weren't following me. I don't really care about that stuff, it's just a vivid part of my memory. But around that time, I think it was after the doodle set, I sent an ask about tansmasc Marshall and i kinda just decided i was gonna stay.

- What’s on my mind/what I'm thinking about; I'm worried I'll never be able to write again. I'm not burnt-out, maybe it's the trade class i'm taking on top of highschool, but I just don't have the energy for creativity.

- Make you choose between two things; Apples or Oranges? Grapes or Olives? Sweet or Unsweet Tea?

- A compliment; Idk what classifies as a compliment but I like your art. It makes me smile. And your au is a huge comfort.

- Ask for advice; idk, What helps you fall asleep at night?

- Tell you a secret; I struggle with a lot a social things but this girl has told me multiple times she likes me and I have no idea if she actually means it or if she even means it in that way, idk if I want her to.

- Things I associate you with; he/they, Marshall wu, for some reason acceptance, your froggos au, ninjago, i can't tell if its dark green or dark red but one of those colors my brain associates w/ you the most

- Anything!!; 4 exclamation points is too many, also, my cat doesn't have a tail.

whoa thanks! i guess its speedrun time

- fav color: red; i usually spell it as "gray"; fav number: uhhhhh 57? for no particular reason

- oh cool!! glad you stuck around! maybe i'll try posting more doodle dumps

- huh the trade class sounds interesting, but yeah sorry, that sucks :( hope your schedule clears up soon sending you good vibes <3

- uhhhh oranges, grapes, and uh neither? honestly im not particularly fond of any of these and ive never rly had tea so idk

- aaaa thank you! im so glad :D

- dude your asking the wrong person i am literally writing this at 00:13 and i start school in the morning kfhksbdksns

- ok honestly i also struggle a lot w social stuff so i do not know what to add, other than i wish you best of luck with that

- hell yes! my life goal is to make people associate me with red so! success!! and idk if i should be, but i feel. proud? to be associated with all of those, thats rly cool !! the acceptance bit is really interesting

- sucks that you cant send pictures in anonymous asks bc otherwise i'd demand some cat pictures >:0 /not forced

#akhfjshdj sorry the secret bit isnt supposed so sound sarcastic or anything i rly hope that turns out alright #you didnt have to do the whole thing but thank you!! this was fun!!#i love getting asks! just gotta get better at responding to them lol #j answers #ask #anon #anonymous #k.txt

2 notes · View notes

musingsoflys · 11 months

Text

4 fucking AM

It's 4 fucking AM. I was ready to go to bed, sleep, 3 hours ago. But my daughter came home anxious b/c she had a panic attack in front of her gf, who calmed her but thought she didn't or something, and there was a lack of communication, so my daughter is overthinking everything. We did get an email written for school; I found out my VA benefits letter was available, but, contrary to what I saw on the website previously, the dependent does have to and can apply for the benefits after all, so that was a month wasted. Eventually she was finally ready to go to her own room...where I stood next to her bed waiting for 45 minutes for her to settle down. She didn't have her charger, so she couldn't turn on her ipad to have her show running. Oh, it's 3:30? I was waiting till 4. Well I need 8 hours of sleep. IF I'm up till 4 then I'm sleeping past noon, and I don't want to do that. Well, now it's past 4 and my melatonin has worn off, and I'm waking up.

I'm really sorry you have massive anxiety. I really am. And I know it's worse for you than for me. But being tired makes me anxious, too, and cranky, and I have homework due tomorrow, and it's Father's Day, so I have to extra spend time with Dad, and make him a cake, and be there for the other kid, and not get so terribly off my sleep schedule b/c I do have to go back to work on Tuesday, and pay bills, and figure out how to pay the bills, and and and my to-do list is like 2 dozen things long. and I want to cry, and I'm my own kind of hormonal, and my brain isn't working ... too much cerebral stuff, not enough physical stuff, but I get so involved with the cerebral stuff that I procrastinate exercise till it's too late, and I want to go see movies in the theater, but I only have my allowance, which I've been spending on lunch b/c fucking motorcycle stuff (more specifically an obsessive impulsive dh who has to buy all the things ASAP). And I can't find the bill/statement that came the other day for the bike. And my elbows hurt, so when I wake up in the morning, having planned to ride my bicycle, I don't want to anymore, but I do.

And everybody waits for me to be available to do things with them, but I will always find ways to fill my time. If a thing isn't scheduled, it won't happen. And maybe I can finally go to sleep, and sleep for only 6 hours? At least I finally watched that next episode of Doctor Who. I need to turn off reddit notifications and uninstall FB. Instagram takes more than enough time; I should unfollow Jamie Lee Curtis - she just posts so much, like 10 times a day, it's half my feed. OK, before I get actually hungry again. ZZZZzzzzzzz

0 notes

strwbrryblues · 2 years

Text

Hello!

I've been gone for I don't know how long and I'm really sorry about that ;;;; uni stuff came burrying me with so much work so I can't really juggle writing, while also preparing my portfolio, assisting with our exhibit, and also writing my thesis paper (⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠) my brain is kind of exhausted from trying to come up with technical terms for our research, and it's really giving me a giant writer's block, creative wise and scholar wise 🥹 but I'm dropping by to let everyone know some of the things about updates and other writings and stuffs

1. I'm still continuing any series that I've already published! I'm already ashamed for always updating late but with all the work with uni rn, i believe we're all going to have to wait until i have a more flexible schedule 🥹

of course I'm not dropping any works! i am actually interested with the plots I've already worked on especially for my first smau 😭 but we'll have to wait so i kindly ask that you guys don't lose patience with me 🥹

2. despite my busy schedule, i still am hoping that i get some interactions, ig that can at least help me with things irl 🥹 it's kind of a boost of morale and drive 🥹

3. if you've commented on a post of mine, forgive me if i don't reply as quickly 🥲 again, i am of course busy but when i have a free time i do drop by, but i sometimes just naturally forget to reply 😭 and i am sorry for that 😭

but uhm ... ig that's all for now 🥲 I'm sorry this was long, but i didn't want to get you guys' hopes up just to leave you hanging 🥹 i love writing, however time rn is unkind to me, so I'll have to put things an a short hold at least until i can have a free time 🥹

again thank you everyone for you continuous support! i hope to interact more with everyone despite my introverted nature 🥹💗

-k

1 note · View note

ackerfics · 3 years

Text

slow dance with you — mikasa ackerman

— goth!mikasa ackerman x soft!female reader (modern au)

— warnings: slight mention of alcohol, pure rotten fluff

— summary: after gaining some courage from the drinks she had in the party and from the advice she got from her friends, mikasa is ready to become your girlfriend.

— word count: 3.9k

— author’s notes: i would like to thank the anon who gave me some ideas for goth!mikasa, you are so amazing !! thank you for the small headcanons. and since we’re on the topic of writing abt goth!mikasa, i couldn’t help but pair her up with a classic soft girl who likes to wear pink at every time of the day. this dynamic is based on marceline and princess bubblegum so i hope you enjoy !!

p.s. the reader will have dyed hair here, if this is not your cup of tea, just let this fly by your dash.

listen to this while reading.

“She dyed her hair pink,” came a dazed yet mesmerized tone.

“You’re staring at her again.”

Mikasa jumped on her seat at Eren’s nonchalant observation. She whipped her head to her best friend, his attention directed on his laptop, hands flying across the keyboard as he typed out the next few words in his essay. Noticing the incredulous look the black-haired girl was shooting him, Eren rose an eyebrow before rolling his eyes. Mikasa huffed, crossing her eyes with a subtle hue of red on her cheeks, complimenting her dark lipstick. “I am not staring,” she mumbled. “Shut up, Eren.” She looked away from her subject of interest but continued shooting small glances.

Eren sighed, running his hand through his hair. He was always one of the witnesses of his best friend slash sister being meek around her crush. At first, he was teasing her because not going to lie, Mikasa’s crush is a pretty person but as their years in college made them juniors, Eren will be the reckless idiot that he is (courtesy of Armin) and set Mikasa up. But he liked to live his life out first — Mikasa will probably curse him with that spellbook she bought from the antique bookshop they encountered in their little exploration back when they were first-years. “Mikasa, why don’t you take the chance and confess to her? It’s not going to be the end of the world.”

“If she rejects me? What then?”

“Then that’s the next problem that you will have to face.” The brown-haired boy turned back to his essay. He stared at his laptop screen blankly before spewing out curses. “Now, I forgot what to write next! Damn it.” He picked up his iced coffee and drank from the metal straw as his life depended on it.

Mikasa rolled her eyes at her best friend’s first statement. “Gee, thanks for the advice. It was very much appreciated.”

“Glad to be of help.”

There was a thud on their table that made the two look up from their respective activities. Eren had a scowl on his face because for the nth time this day, he was interrupted from finishing his essay (for fuck’s sake, he doesn’t want to fail Ackerman’s class). Mikasa blinked from scrolling through her crush’s Twitter account (the last post she wrote was about how Levi Ackerman, Mikasa’s relative and everyone’s Anthropology professor) and fixed her attention on their blonde friend, Armin. He looked too bright after a round of morning classes, something that Eren doesn’t comprehend. The blue-eyed young man has always been the rational and genius third of their little group. There wasn’t a time where Armin’s advice got a situation to erupt in flames. It was either the situation became an inferno instead (Eren) or nobody had the guts to do it (Mikasa).

“Hey, guys!” Armin greeted, arranging his side of the table, meticulously placing each component of his lunch in front of him. “How were your morning classes?”

“Shit,” Eren spat out.

“Of course, it is.”

“They were alright,” Mikasa shrugged.

“Figured.” Armin glanced at his friend’s sides of the table, nodding at Mikasa’s balanced lunch while blankly staring at Eren’s laptop. The device should’ve been a good tray of lunch. “I thought you were eating lunch, Eren? That’s what you said in your text.”

“Can’t,” the brown-haired boy huffed. He gestured at his iced coffee without taking his eyes off the laptop. “I guess, this counts as my lunch.”

“When’s that essay due?”

“In about,” Eren looked at the time on his laptop, “three hours. Ackerman is my first period later. That fucking terror professor has no mercy when it comes to this. Can he just piss off for once? Mikasa, do you even tell him to get laid? Because I think that would solve his attitude. I swear to God, he’s getting more pissed every damn day.”

“Wow, I guess getting my short, grumpy, middle-aged uncle to start his sex life will be a nice conversation starter,” Mikasa drawled, half-lidded, bored eyes reading every tweet her crush has posted for the entire week. Mikasa couldn’t help but smile at one post about a new movie her crush just watched, saying that it was now a new favorite. She was tempted to give a heart on every single post but that would it weird because they never followed each other despite the small interactions they shared in between classes. With a sigh, she looked up, only to be met with Eren’s unamused stare. Raising an eyebrow, she asked, “What? Do you think that would work, Eren? Levi is probably a virgin his whole life and will continue his record until he’s all shriveled up.” Eren blanched at the image. “Just finish your homework and stop complaining.”

“I’m trying!”

“You’re not trying hard enough, that’s for sure. If you just started that essay the day he assigned it to your class, you would have finished it way before the deadline.”

Eren pointed at Mikasa with narrowed eyes. “Don’t even go there, Mikasa. I have a life aside from being a sleep-deprived college student.”

“I mean, she’s got a point, Eren.” Armin immediately rose his hands in defense when Eren shifted his glare from the black-haired young woman to him. “You always tend to procrastinate in the most impeccable timing that we sometimes have to remind you of your backlogs. And now, here you are, doing things last minute when you could’ve prevented the rush by doing it immediately.”

“Thanks for slapping the reality to my face, you two,” Eren dryly replied, going back to his essay for the final time. “And by the way, Armin, give Mikasa some solid advice that she will finally follow because she’s making googly eyes at Miss Pretty two tables from us a couple of minutes before you arrived. You know, the love of her life?”

Armin roamed his eyes in the lunch hall and sure enough, there was Mikasa’s goddess sitting with her group of friends. There was that brown-haired girl that was dubbed as the Potato Girl for eating mashed potatoes during Ackerman’s class (the professor told the class his rules of no eating or going out of the room while he’s discussing the moment the girl took a spoonful of her snack). A young man with a buzz cut snorting at what the brown-haired girl said. Armin remembered sharing a class with him. He never got the chance to introduce himself because the young man was sleeping throughout the lecture. There was usually a fourth person in the little group but it seems like he was running late or already in his class. That person was Eren’s sworn frenemy, the reason for that relationship was unknown to this day.

The three people at the table all stood up, the brown-haired girl and the taller young man leading the way. Armin instantly had an idea.

“Hey, [Name]!”

Mikasa nearly had whiplash from turning her head to Armin. “Armin?!” she hissed under her breath, face becoming hotter when you looked at their table, a bright smile lighting up your face. You called your friends, telling them to go on ahead without you, to which they nodded before walking towards the trio’s table. Her brain wasn’t processing the moment you lifted a hand to wave at whoever you were smiling at. Mikasa wished it was her. “Fuck,” she whispered, registering how cute you look. You donned a salmon pink plaid sundress and a white cardigan, matching with the bubblegum pink locks you let down. Her heart was hammering a thousand miles per second and there was no hope of stopping it.

“Hi, Armin,” you replied, stopping a few feet from Mikasa, who looked away from you to fix her wide-eyed stare on her empty plate.

“I was just going to ask if you already have a partner in our Molecular Biology lab?” The blue-eyed young man then turned to Mikasa and Eren. “I’m in the same class as her this year.”

“As if calling her here wasn’t that obvious,” Eren murmured, still typing out his essay.

“I don’t need your dry remarks right now, Eren, don’t want to ruin the atmosphere. So, [Name], you have a partner?”

You shook your head. “I think not. It would be great if we could be partners though. I need a break from the people I’ve been partnered with throughout college.”

He gave you a sympathetic smile. It was true, though. Most of the grouping during your first years of college were all set up by the teachers so the students really had no say on the matter at hand. Even Armin was exposed to a variety of students, most of them being too slacking to participate or too overbearing with their suggestions that they have no plans of doing. He nodded with a smile, “I’ll be sending an email to Professor Zoe about this and we’re done.” He glanced behind you, noticing that your two friends weren’t there anymore. “I’m sorry for holding you up. I’m pretty sure you have a class after lunch. See you around?”

You waved him off. “It’s fine, I told them to go ahead since Sasha has a class scheduled right after lunch and Connie had to nap in his dorm. And I don’t have any class the whole afternoon, except for an online session so yeah, see you around, Armin.” You acknowledge Eren with a nod, to which he responded with a cool expression (as if his mind wasn’t a mess from the cramming), and gave a soft smile to Mikasa, “Bye, Mikasa.” And you were off to your dorm, leaving behind two amused men and an awestruck Mikasa.

The black-haired young woman was hyperventilating the moment you disappeared from the lunch hall, hands clenched on top of her black shorts. She regretted wearing a thin, long-sleeved striped sweater under her black shirt because it was so fucking hot after that encounter. Her entire body was vibrating with too many emotions all at once, short-circuiting until she became a heap of flustered mess in front of her best friends. “Oh, my God,” she muttered like a prayer. She definitely needed one after seeing you all pretty in pink. It was too much for her soul because you two are a perfect match this time. Her grommet belt and choker were not helping because she couldn’t fucking breathe.

“Mikasa, breathe,” Armin reminded beside her. “Yeah, that’s it.”

Once she regained her composure, Mikasa realized she probably looked like a gaping fish. “Oh, my God! I’m so sure that this time, she thinks I’m weird. My name is the only one she mentioned aside from Armin which is saying something because she’s classmates with him. But why did she say goodbye to me? Oh, my God, she’s giving me so many butterflies right now.”

“Your gay is showing,” Eren pointed out calmly.

“Eren, not the time,” Armin murmured, hovering his hands over Mikasa’s back.

“Just wanted to alleviate the tense atmosphere. No need to get so worked up.”

“But, Mikasa, your feelings for her are showing.”

Eren clapped his hands, pointing a finger at Armin. “That, my friend, is a genius observation.”

Ignoring the green-eyed man, Armin continued, “I think it’s time you confess to her. Three years is a pretty long time pining for a person. In the end, her knowing your feelings will be inevitable. That is if you have no plans in letting her know.”

“Of course, I want her to know,” Mikasa murmured, fiddling with the sleeves of her striped long-sleeves.

“I heard that there’s a party this Saturday in Reiner’s frat,” Eren told them, meeting both of his friends’ eyes over the top of his laptop screen. “We’re in the same football team with Jean. The horseface is a friend of your girl,” he nodded at Mikasa, who erupted in a sputter of her crush not being her girl, “okay, not your girl — yet. As I was saying, [Name] is good friends with Jean and if Jean is there, Miss Pretty in Pink will be, too. That’s your chance to ask her out, Mikasa.” He met the blinking gray eyes of his best friend. “The question is, are you up for that?”

“You were staring at her so hard at lunch again.”

You looked up from your book to acknowledge Sasha entering your dorm room after a whole afternoon of packed lectures. The brown-haired young woman was so tired that she immediately plopped on top of her bed on the other side of the room. At first, you didn’t register what she said because you were preoccupied with your book. You chose to indulge the night in a good book because it has been a long time since you’ve done that. With furrowed eyebrows, you asked, “Can you repeat what you said, Sasha?”

Sasha tilted her head to look at you with one eye uncovered by her duvet. Her hair fluttered after puffing out a breath of disbelief. “Oh, don’t pretend that you have no idea, Miss Pretty in Pink.”

“That’s because I didn’t catch what you said,” you replied, gesturing at your novel. “And what’s with that Miss Pretty in Pink nickname? Did some of the students around campus started that?”

“Sort of,” Sasha hummed. She sat up from her bed and took out her phone from her backpack lying on the floor. You watched the whole time she stretched her arm without changing her position on her bed. With her phone in hand, she opened her Twitter account. “Actually, a friend of mine tweeted it, wait, I’m just going to scroll through my Likes tab to find her tweet. Oh, here it is.” Sasha showed you her screen, patiently waiting for you to take the device from her hand to get a closer look. Her hopeful smile turned into a small pout when you made no moves in doing so. “Take my phone and see for yourself.”

You sighed, following her pleas. “It’s probably just someone from the volleyball team. You know how some of them never stopped following me around campus. Can’t they take the hint that they’re not my type?”

“This person is much better than those himbo simps following you around. She’s an amazing person behind that shy exterior of hers.”

You only hummed, blankly staring at your roommate’s phone before your eyes widened in realization. Your eyes skimmed over and over again at the handle, mkackerman, beside the display picture of a short-haired girl in pigtails. It was the girl that managed to capture your attention during your first year at Eldia University. The girl with an air of mystique that the stars are jealous of. You always admired her from afar, appreciating her style each day. But your admiration was getting replaced with something more at the five words she tweeted.

You’re so pretty in pink.

Roses bloomed in your cheeks, complimenting your pink hair the longer you gawked at her short post.

“What?” you breathed out after a full minute of silence.

“Mm-hmm,” Sasha hummed with a smug smile. “And who dyed her hair pink impulsively last weekend?” She intentionally looked at you with sharp eyes, her smile turning into a smirk full of mischief. In actuality, Sasha knew of Mikasa’s crush on you since they were acquainted with each other. It was an embarrassing first meeting between the two, with Sasha latching on a random person’s arm in the station and it turned out to be Mikasa. The two became great friends after that, well, after Mikasa lowered her guard down, leaving her pocket knife safely tucked underneath her checkered skirt. It was Sasha who managed to make Mikasa confess of her undying love for you, the former squealing her heart out in the library. (They were kicked out after that.)

“I don’t know,” you denied. “There could be a couple of people in the campus who thought that spontaneously dyeing their hair pink is an awesome idea.” You threw your hands in the air, giving back Sasha her phone right after.

“Trust me. Mikasa doesn’t have any interest in any other girl other than a special someone I know.”

You chose to ignore her, turning back on the discarded book on top of your covers. The words flew around your mind, aggravating you until you placed the novel on your lap. A defeated sigh came out of your lips. “Okay, let’s go out for some dinner.” You stretched, switching your pajama bottoms for a pair of loose jeans, and leaving your button-down pajama top on. The people in public will never know your top is a part of a pajama set. As you ducked down to roll the bottom of your jeans, you hear Sasha’s bed shuffling. Sitting up, you regarded her with an inquisitive raise of an eyebrow. “Spill it.”

“Oh, alright. Jean told me to bring you to a party.”

You stood up, patting your lap of imaginary dust, placing your things and book inside your tote bag. “Tell him no. I have a written exam coming up and I don’t want to fail one of my majors. He can manage without one person in our friendship group.”

Sasha huffed, mimicking your actions. “This will be the last time!”

“You said that the previous party you pulled me to.” You narrowed your eyes at her. “I couldn’t get up for a whole day because of that party. Don’t forget your wallet.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Sasha threw her wallet in her small bag, throwing the strap over her shoulder. “I promise that this will be the last time, I’ll even call Connie for the witness of my pact!” She placed a heartfelt palm over her chest, lifting her chin a little in the air. “I solemnly swear I am … keeping my promise.”

“You hesitated.”

The brown-haired girl giggled sheepishly, scratching the back of her neck. “It’s kind of hard not to continue the quote from Harry Potter. You can’t blame me for that!”

“I’ll think about it, okay?”

“You better because Mikasa will be there.”

You blinked at her statement. “What does this have to do with her?”

Your roommate looped her arm with yours, pulling you in the direction of the elevators. “Because,” it sounded like she was talking to a child, “you were staring at her earlier during lunch period. I understand that because Mikasa looks so good every second of the day but there was something different about the way you’re staring at her.” She tapped her finger on her chin. “Let me see, there’s some pizzaz there.”

“The pizzaz you’re talking about is me admiring her make-up — nothing more.”

“Whatever you say,” came Sasha’s sing-song voice. “I will be the first one who will say ‘I told you so’ to your face when you two start dating.”

The night of the party was not as bizarre as you thought.

Sure, there were people having shots in the living room but there weren’t any extreme scenarios lying around unlike some of the parties Connie and Jean went to. It was mostly catching up with old friends or making connections with strangers by ranting about the education system of your university. All in all, it was a fun night, yet here you are, holding your cup of beer with two hands as you craned your neck to get a glimpse of Sasha. Your roommate disappeared as you turned to get a shot, leaving a confused you behind. To think you specifically asked Sasha to be by your side throughout the night. You cursed in your head, you being reliant on the presence of others surfacing. Your stress made you tip your head back, downing your drink in a go.

Without anything to do, you leaned back on the wall. Mind hazy, eyes glassy, you searched the living room for a spunky brown-haired girl that you were supposed to be buddies with. Instead of Sasha, you met gazes with a girl with stars for her eyes. She was equally mesmerized as she was staring straight at you. Everything became silent as your heartbeat resonated with hers. She was beautiful in her all-black outfit — a leather pencil skirt over fishnet stockings, cropped tank top, and combat boots. The two of you are contrasting with one another; her lipstick so dark whilst yours shone a pretty coral, her hair framing her face in a midnight pixie cut whilst yours were in pink waves cascading down, her entire appearance blending in the background whilst you were a beacon with your coordinating soft outfit.

God damn it, Sasha was right.

You are definitely falling in love with Mikasa Ackerman.

Mikasa who you saw reading tarot cards of her blonde friend. Mikasa who you bumped into during the opening ceremony two years ago. Mikasa who you discovered to have an affinity for electric guitars when you stumbled in one of the auditoriums, her department’s band having an audition. Mikasa who never meets your gaze because you make her nervous at how effortless you carry yourself.

But tonight, she never looked away from you, her eyes having an adoring yet determined shine.

She stopped in front of you, mere inches separating you two. You looked up at her, her combat boots making her taller than she already is. You saw her eyes flick to your lips, your breath hitching at the thought of having her dark lipstick on any part of your body. With a careful tilt of her head, Mikasa ducked her head a little to fully meet your eyes face to face. “I saw you’re alone,” her voice is still soft-spoken as if she was afraid that she was scaring you. It might be because of the liquid and verbal courage she got from drinking and listening to her best friends because Mikasa had no plans of letting you go tonight. “I thought you needed company.”

A breath came out of your lips, your proximity making Mikasa feel it. “Uhm, if it’s you, I don’t see why not?”

A large smile brightened Mikasa’s face before it dimmed as she lowered her gaze to your lips once more. “I’ve been waiting three years for this.”

Maybe your mind was too hazy with alcohol or it could be because you accepted your feelings for the black-haired girl, so you whispered, lips brushing against hers in the most addicting way possible, “Just kiss me, Mikasa.”

Her lips softly moved against yours in a slow dance, the inches separating you disappearing as Mikasa wrapped an arm around your waist. You lift a hand to cup her jaw, tilting your head to deepen the kiss and to brush your tongue with hers. You felt her shiver, biting your lower lip to make you open up more, with your whimpers tingling her hearing. Mikasa pulled away, trailing firm kisses on the skin where your shoulder meets your neck. Seeing the black kiss mark on your skin, she smiled and placed fluttering kisses on your neck up to your cheek. Opening your eyes, the silver grays in front of you have never been so beautiful. You returned the favor of placing kiss marks. You stood on your tiptoes, feeling Mikasa’s hand steadying you, and left a coral pink mark on the corner of her mouth.

Mikasa dipped her head, placing her lips close to your ear.

“I want to slow dance with you,” she sung to your ear. “I know all the other boys are tough and smooth and I got the blues. I want to slow dance with you.” Mikasa hid a small smile at your flustered expression. “So can I be your vampire queen, Bonnie?”

The moment you said yes, there was a shout in the crowds. “Hell yeah, your plan worked, Eren, Armin!”

You and Mikasa stared at each other with wide eyes before laughing.

“Let’s go ditch this party.”

“Thought you’d never ask, Bonnie.”

#attack on titan #aot #mikasa #Mikasa Ackerman #mikasa x reader #mikasa ackerman x reader #mikasa ackerman x you #aot x reader #snk x reader #snk imagines #snk anime #goth!mikasa #i am a sucker for this dynamic #attack on titan x reader

188 notes · View notes