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jpitha · 1 year

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Just a Little Further 30

Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29

We sent the Venusians home today.

We left them enough thruster to travel to the Gate and traverse, enough environmental systems to keep them alive - so long as they stuck to their quarters and the Command Deck - and... that was mostly it. Oh, we did take the entirety of their weapons. I even had their weapon lockers stripped. We now have a good supply of high quality rifles and small arms. I gave a few to Sep and asked them duplicate them and begin training. I also promised to stop by later and give some tips in the finer points of their operation.

When I saw their faces when they saw what I was sending them home in, I admit I cackled just a teeny bit. We made sure it was survivable and they won't be injured, but their ship looks like a joke. Large pieces are missing from the hull, whole rooms exposed to vacuum, the thrusters we left them are undersized for what would normally be used, and so on. I imagine they are going to have an... interesting time going through joint human/K'laxi space.

The wormhole generator was destroyed in the explosion, so they can't link home, so what they'll do after they reach human space an the end of the Gates is a bit of a mystery. They won't be trapped though, there are plenty of human Starbases or colonies they could reach via the Gates and ask someone to link a beacon to Venus so they could get a ride the rest of the way.

They don't use AIs at all either. Their ships run with only human crews, so it's not like we left some poor AI behind to drag their own corpse home. It's just a ship.

Well, it's 65% or so of a ship.

As for Raaden and Emery, I did wind up going with the option Ava and I discussed. We found an empty apartment building that was close - but not directly next to - the Royal Dawn. It had two empty apartments and we put Raaden, and Emery in separate apartments quite a long distance from each other. The apartments are guarded all hours of the day, and meals are sent up.

It feels like I just stuffed them into a corner and are trying to forget about them, and I guess I did, but I that's what having hostages is sometimes. I'm trying to make sure they're comfortable and well taken care of. Emery has seemed to accept his lot. He mostly reads and sketches. When he asked for art supplies he seemed excited when we brought him paper and pencils that were native to the Reach. He spends his time looking out the window and sketching what he sees. I've seen a few of them; the drawings are actually quite lovely. I have a feeling he's pretty used to being stuck in a corner somewhere and told to entertain himself.

Raaden... hasn't accepted her lot so easily. She's tried to escape twice already and the only thing that has prevented it was her unfamiliarity with the locks. After the second attempt I had to use my Voice to make her stop trying to break out. Now she just sits in her apartment and alternates between seething and sulking. I almost wish we had a hibernation cabinet to put her into. She'd be less of a problem if she was just on ice the whole time.

Wait a moment. I wonder if Omar can print one? I'm sure there are plans for one in the printer database we got from FarReach. I should ask.

Ginny we put up in the Royal Dawn. Not right near our rooms, but in a room in the hotel. I did use my Voice to order her not to talk to Raaden and Emery and to not have any contact with Venus without our permission, but she knew why and accepted the order.

Yes, we did decide to let Ginny stay. Of all of the people we interviewed she was the only one who actually wanted to be here. Everyone else was indifferent to it or was being actively ordered to be here. That was what finally convinced Ava, Omar, Um'reli and Starlight. We won't give her the Builder package for a long time, if ever, but that still doesn't mean we don't need the help. We don't have her doing much right now, but she is shadowing Sound of the City and they love that they have a helper and someone they get to show the Reach. Maybe I'll take her with us when we go to the Wilds of Besmara. She might enjoy that.

I'm just finishing up breakfast in the Royal Dawn when Omar comes in. "Melody, what are we going to do with all the parts we took from the Lavinia?"

I can't help myself. "Put them on a Starship, Omar."

"Melody. Which Starship? High Line and Sun Dancer are done. We'd have to put them back into the dock to add things to them, Immar IV isn't done, but do we want to put all the parts on that one?"

Ah I see. If we put the Venusian parts on High Line or Sun Dancer, then that delays how long before we can go to the Wilds of Besmara.

"Let's keep them off High Line and Sun Dancer for now. I do want to go to the Wilds now that we've dealt with Venus. Once we're back and Immar IV is done, why don't we start construction on a whole new ship?"

"A whole new ship?" Omar sits down at my breakfast table and looks off into the middle distance, thinking. "Yes, we could do it. I think we have a handle on how things work now. We would add the Venusian parts, of course. That would save a lot of time. I'd make a dreadnought of our own - smaller than the Venus or other human ones - but it would still pack a punch."

"See? What a great idea I had." I'm laughing, but I mean it. I think it's high time we make our own Starships. I wish we had more printers, we could really get production going, but it's not like we need a whole fleet right away. Slow and steady progress is fine.

"Omar, do you want to pilot High Line when we take it over to the Wilds? I want to go next week, and we need to figure some things out. You piloted it during the shakedown, but this will be our first Gate traversal since we came here."

"Yes, I'd like to drive if you're okay with that. We should have the others take a turn so we all get experience with it - it's different than being the Reach - but for now, I'll take us over. Who is going to come? We should probably leave at least one Builder here."

"I agree. I wanted you and Ava and Starlight to come, and we can let Um'reli run things while we're away. I want Ginny to come too."

Omar breaks his reverie. "Ginny? Why?"

"I want to show her she's not a prisoner like Raaden and Emery. She was the only one who wanted to be here. Might as well start treating her like that. Plus, we could use a reactor tech on High Line."

"You make a good point. Fine. Ginny can come too. We don't really need much of anyone else. With Builder systems I can run most of High Line from the chair. I wonder if it feels the same when an AI runs a ship? I'm doing a similar role."

"I don't know. If we ever get back to our side of the Galaxy we should ask." I really find lately I'm missing stuff from home. I hope once were done visiting some Starbases on this side we can go home, just for a visit. "I'd like to open up some lines of trade too. I bet people over there would like some of our foodstuffs and I sure could use some coffee." I looked wistfully at my cup of tea on the table. I hadn't had coffee since talking with the Venusians. I was trying to save what little she had for special occasions, but it's so hard!

"One thing at a time, Melody. Let's do see if we can figure out what happened at the Wilds. Then, see if we can find any other Starbases or colonies. We could finish the exploration that FarReach abandoned."

I looked up at Omar in surprise. "That's it. We can continue the mission! Just because FarReach declared Captain Q'ari unfit and left doesn't mean that there isn't good things to learn out here." I jumped up and gave Omar a hug. "Thanks Omar. It really helps to talk things out sometimes."

"No problem Melody, glad to help."

I leave the Royal Dawn and start walking towards the Throne, thinking while I walk.

We're going to go to the Wilds of Besmara with the refurbished High Line and see what's up. Last time we went there was some kind of field that grabbed FarReach and started to pull it in. Maybe it was an overzealous landing field? I don't know. Either way, if it happens again, I think we want to let it take us in.

Also, that warning. I know now it was in the Voice, but it was over radio which - for me at least - commands in the Voice don't work. I wonder how it was in the Voice, I thought that was just an Empress thing. Maybe it was a recording? All these mysteries. We just have to go and find out for ourselves.

I take a long way to the Throne and say hello to people as I walk. When I first got here, people were so frightened of us, but now people tell me hello, they give me little bits of news from their world, I even get to meet families! More than once I've been told how nice it is that I was able to increase the food deliveries. As plain old Melody I was often intimidated making small talk with people and would try and avoid it, but when I'm Empress, I find it's much easier. It almost feels like I'm pretending to be the Empress; like it's a persona to put on and take off. When I'm with Ava in our room I'm just Melody, but when the gown comes on and I walk around I'm The Empress.

It's hard to explain. I wish I knew more people that had gone though this to see if it's normal. I guess, when you're the only Empress around, anything you do is normal, by virtue of the fact that you're the one doing it.

I make my way to the Throne and settle in. Ava, Um'reli and Starlight are there already. I can feel Um'reli and Ava showing Starlight how to work things.

"See Starlight, if you just look... over here... you can see the transit network."

"Yes, yes, I see. It looks like we have the trains on schedule and... wait, what's that one on that siding?"

"That's Melody's Royal Transport. She likes to use it when she feels like showing off, or if she needs to get somewhere after hours or when things are too busy to wait for a scheduled train."

Mentally, I look up at them "I don't use it to show off. I use it when I want to make an entrance."

"Okay, so when Emp-Melody's not showing off, she stores it over here?" I smile to myself when I hear the smirk in Starlight's tone. When I made them a builder, I let them call me Melody. I decided it would be weird for Ava, Um'reli and Omar to call me Melody, but Starlight has to call me Empress, and I didn't want to make everyone call me Empress as well, so Builder Starlight can call me Melody. They're still getting used to it.

"Um'reli, you're okay with staying here and running things while the rest of us go to the Wilds of Besmara to see what happened to them?"

"Sure Melody, it's fine. I have reports to go over on reactor efficiency. We have enough of a power surplus now we should look at taking down the reactors one at a time for refurbishment. I don't think it's ever been done!"

"What do you mean, take the reactor down for refurbishment?" Starlight looks curious as Um'reli and I talk.

"So, at least with our reactors, they need regular maintenance. We usually build our systems with enough overhead that they can run with one whole reactor down so we can work on it, or if one fails we can swap it out without inconveniencing anyone. Before we got here, the Reach had enough power, but I wouldn't have dreamed of shutting a reactor off. Now, I think we can turn one off, make sure it's in good condition and then turn it back on, move on to the next and so on."

"That's impressive, Builder Um'reli. You have found so many ways to improve efficiency."

"Just Um'reli is fine, you're a Builder now too, remember. But, thank you. I enjoy working with the reactors. I hope we can get Ginny up and helping us too, it will be useful to have someone else - someone who actually took some training on this and isn't just an enthusiastic amateur - take a look at things."

"Okay, good. Omar is going to drive, I'll sit in the Command chair, Ava can monitor systems, Starlight can let us know if there's anything we're missing with local information and Ginny is coming along to prove to her that she's not just another hostage like Raaden and Emery."

Ava looks up from the report she's reading. "I like it Melody, it seems like a good plan. Ugh, I wish there was something we could do about Raaden. I don't trust her as far as I could throw her."

"I know! I was thinking about it on the walk over. What if we printed a hibernation cabinet for her? I know that Starjumpers carry them, and that FarReach used to be one so I assume their printer database has the plans."

"Actually, I think that could work. Let's ask Omar how tough it would be to print one up. On the one hand, I don't like the idea of just sticking her in a closet until we decide what to do with her, but on the other... I don't know what to do with her. She'll never trust us, and we can never trust her."

"Exactly."

Starlight looks like they are warring with themselves over something. After a moment, a decision is made. "Melody, why did you keep her anyway? If it was me in charge, I would have declared her culpable for Rapid River Roaring's death and had them executed."

Now everyone is looking at me. "Starlight, for right now, she's worth more to us alive than dead. If we killed her and sent the Venusians home with their ship stripped and them humiliated they would have come right back with all their dreadnoughts and just fired upon us as soon as they traversed the Gate. No radio, no opportunity to use the Voice on them, just kaboom. This way, with Raaden, their Archduke and Crown Prince Emery, they have to think twice about whether to come in guns hot or not."

"Ah, I see. Yes Melody. You are making it so that we are too valuable to outright destroy. But, what do we do when they want their crown prince and their archduke back? Or worse, what if they don't want them back?"

My shoulder slump. "I don't know yet. As soon as we figure out a deal and we give them Raaden and Emery they don't have a reason to not come in and destroy us."

Starlight's eyes are bright. "Well then. We just need to be better armed then they are by then. We can then repel them the regular way."

"Hah. That's the best idea I've heard so far Starlight. For now, we'll go with that plan. Once we come back from the Wilds, Omar was going to look into building a dreadnought from the parts we... liberated from Venus. Do you know of any Aviens plans for large warships?"

"Actually, yes. I believe we have some plans for a ship like that. We should try and reach out to more of my people. Ever since our ancestors were trapped here, we have not heard from any other of our kind."

"Starlight, I was wondering, what did trap you and the Mariens and others here all those years ago?" Um'reli and Ava look up at Omar's question. I guess we were all wondering it.

"I wish I knew Omar. My parent's parents were the original ones left here, but they wouldn't talk about it. From what I can gather, there was... a war, or something like it. The last Builders left the Reach to... do... something and never returned. My parent's parents did mention that the first few years after the Builders left were very difficult."

"Another mystery to solve then. I want to get going. Hey Omar, do you think you can print a hibernation cabinet?"

"Probably Melody, what for?"

"For Raaden. I just don't trust her to be awake and around while we leave to do explore the Wilds of Besmara. I was thinking of putting her in a cabinet and sticking her on board in hibernation. Crown Prince Emery seems fine, we could probably leave him here under guard."

"Melody that's brilliant! We don't have to deal with her trying to escape and we can carry her around as a kind of... talisman against Venus attacks. You just have to get her into it."

"Leave that part to me."

It actually only takes Omar a few hours to print the hibernation cabinet. When you have printers that can make a whole starship in a few weeks, one small hibernation cabinet is hardly a feat. It comes out gleaming and white, looking like a long lozenge or pill from the medical department. On the top is a clear window to see the face of the resident and on the side is a small readout of vitals. I ask Omar to let me borrow some people, and an Aviens and Azurian wheel the cabinet behind me as we walk.

In front of the apartment complex it's clear that the cabinet is much too large to bring up to Raaden's room. "Wait here please. I will be down with them in a moment."

Upstairs, I nod to the guards and knock on the door before opening it. "Raaden, come here please."

"Go to hell mmmmmm-Empress."

I don't have time for this. "F̷̗͝o̸͔͌l̷̺̊l̴̨̃o̶̦̾w̵̡͠ ̶͔͘m̷̢̒ē̵̬.̸̹̊ Raaden." She gets up out of the other room and robotically walks to me. Her eyes radiate hatred, but she follows none the less.

We get to the bottom floor and I open the door to leave and she catches a glimpse of the cabinet. Raaden's eyes go wide and the snarl of hatred on her face is replaced with a new emotion.

Terror.

"No! No no no no! You're not going to put me in one of those! Please! Please Empress! Don't put me in a hibernation cabinet! I won't escape! Please! Don't put me in there!"

I stop and turn, surprised. "What? Why not Raaden? It's just a hibernation cabinet. It's brand new. Omar printed it up from our copy of FarReach's printer database. It's not even a local design, it's one of ours."

She's standing in the doorway, shaking. She is legitimately terrified of the hibernation cabinet. "I-I-Its a form of punishment in Imperial Venus. For people who have... displeased the Emperor. A person is placed into the hibernation cabinet and then they... manipulate the settings. They change the person's sense of the passage of time. A day can feel like centuries."

You know, I actually feel bad for Raaden right now. That sounds like a horrible punishment.

"Raaden, I'm not going to manipulate your perception of time. We're going to run you deep enough that you won't have any perception of time passing. It'll be just like when people were put in cabinets for Starjumper trips before the wormhole generators. You'll go in, and then you'll awaken on Venus when we've worked out the details with the Emperor."

"Possibly, or else I'll never wake up for my failure. Or worse, I will but it will be after ten thousand years subjective and I'm a gibbering mess. Empress, I am actually begging you." She gets down on her knees in the door way and bows down "Please. Please. Don't put me in hibernation. I will literally do anything else." She puts her head up and her cheeks are wet with tears and she's shaking. She whispers. "Please, don't."

I... I can't. It's too cruel. I look at her and try and concentrate. Is she just acting? No. I think she is completely terrified of going into hibernation.

Ugh.

I sit on the cabinet and reach out to my Builders. "Hey. Raaden is like, wet her pants terrified of going into hibernation. She's literally begging me not to do it."

Is it a put on, is she just really good at acting?

I don't think so. My heightened body language processing says she's being honest.

Just order her to do it anyway, use your Voice.

Doesn't that seem unnecessarily cruel to you? We'd be leveraging a legitimate phobia just to make things easier on us. She'd never forgive us.

You still think she'll forgive us?

Hey, we have a responsibility to treat our prisoners humanely, and that includes not torturing them. This would be torture for her.

They wouldn't have the same consideration of us.

All the more reason for us to treat her better.

Okay then, what do we do with her?

Take her with us.

WHAT?

Take her with us. She'll still be on board, I can order her around with the Voice and we'll still bring the cabinet. If she causes trouble I'll order her into it and we'll be done with it. This is her chance to show us how much she doesn't want to be in the cabinet.

Or for her to show us how good of an actor she is.

Ava, I'm pretty sure she's not acting.

Ugh fine. She can come. Let me get a room ready and strengthen the locks on it.

Thanks Omar.

I look up. Raaden has gotten up from the floor but her eyes are still wide with fear. She is working very hard to control it, but fear of the cabinet is still very strong. She truly is terrified of being put into it.

"Raaden. I won't put you into the hibernation cabinet."

As I complete the sentence, her body relaxes and she starts breathing heavily.

"Yet."

She tightens up and holds her breath again.

"You're coming with us on the High Line to explore the Wilds of Besmara. I need insurance against Venus, and if you won't get into the cabinet then you'll come along. I will also bring the cabinet so if you cause us even a small amount of trouble I will just order you into the cabinet and be done with it."

I narrow my eyes and meet her gaze, "Do you understand?"

She stands straight and tall and matches my gaze, looking me in the eyes. "I will not betray you, nor will I attempt to escape, nor will I sabotage any aspect of your mission. So long as it keeps me out of that thing, I will be good."

"See that you do." I jump off the cabinet and gesture to my helpers. "Bring this to High Line. Omar will show you were to put it. "C̵͖͋o̷̤̒m̶͉̍e̶̩͛ ̶̰̎R̷͈̅ä̵̮å̷̡d̴͍̒e̶̙͝n̷̬̓.̶̀ͅ, I will bring you back to your apartment."

She follows me without struggling this time. I stop at the entry to her apartment. "We'll be back tomorrow morning. Do you have any requests for food or drink onboard?"

She blinks. "You're asking my opinion?"

"Well yes. You're going to be onboard with us for at least a week, if not more. You deserve to have some input."

She runs her hand through her close cropped hair, surprised. "Uh, I don't like coffee, so don't bother giving me any. I know you love the stuff, so don't waste any on me."

Oh nice. More coffee for me then. "Thank you. We'll be by tomorrow after breakfast."

She nods and moves to close the door. "Until then."

After the door closes and I lock it, I look at the guards and they acknowledge me. "Empress" they both say, and then face forward, silently.

Part 31

#humans are deathworlders #humans are space orcs #humans go on adventure #humans are space oddities #sci fi writing #writing #humans and ai #humans and aliens #the k'laxiverse #jpitha #just a little further

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luminalunii97 · 1 year

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Civil disobedience, act 5: Kindness!

The regime started their murdering and brutal crackdowns early on the protests. In retribution people started to share free hugs and fist bumps on the streets. Soon free hug became a revolution act why? Because men and women touching or even sitting next to each other was a taboo culturally and religiously, and the regime likes to keep that taboo in place. Hugging strangers regardless of gender is a taboo breaking act and the regime started to call girls and women who participated in this "whores"!

Among protesters it's a strong tool. Coming out to the streets can be really scary but receiving a hug in solidarity empowers you. Hearing death news everyday can take a toll on you, getting a hug from a stranger you know has heard the news and is mourning with you can be comforting.

For the giver It's a stressful thing to do though. You have to be ready to run if you see a policeman. Sometimes people whisper in your ear "please be careful and stay safe" with good intentions but a haunting tone and it just makes you want to bolt specially if you have anxiety! But anyway it's fun and it brings us unity.

The first and third video are from Kermanshah and Mahabad, two Kurd cities. The last one is from Tehran.

Another kindness act is fist bumping and getting chocolate but make it revolution style. Each chocolate or candy is wrapped in a note. The note is either a slogan (like woman life freedom) or a sentence of encouragement. It can also be a call for demonstration. This started as a tool to encourage civil disobedience. So women who risked their arrest and took off their hijab in the streets were the first group of people who received chocolate. Then men and women, and hijabi and nonhijabi women started to give these to each other. So it turned into a solidarity gift giving ceremony. The day after Kian Pirfalak, the 10 year old boy murder, all over Tehran people handed out chocolates in paper boats with notes that said "in the name of the god of the rainbow".

[images id: 8 pictures taken of notes that accompanied chocolate or candy. The notes are written in Persian.

Pic 1 notes translations: "24, 25, 26 of Aban, freedom." "Accompany us. We will take Iran back with you." "You're not alone buddy."

Pic 2 notes: one is a drawing of Hossein Ronaghi, a political prisoner and social activist who was released from prison 2 months later. Underneath the drawing it says "Hossein Ronaghi said I'm afraid too, I want to have a peaceful life too, I don't want to hear the news of death and torture and execution and poverty and misery, I like to sleep peacefully at night, but I can't be indifferent... " The second note is a drawing of a small woman standing on a mullah's head and putting her headscarf on fire.

Pic 3 notes translations: "woman life freedom" "your hair is so beautiful" "keep doing what you're doing" "#for_you" "thank you for making the city beautiful" "you're a fist and you have a lot of fans" "after the revolution you will be part of our history book"

Pic 4 notes translations: "#women_life_freedom" "be safe daughter of iran" "for your beautiful hair" "for #woman_life_freedom" "fight fight until victory is the anthem of attack" "you are the beauty of my city" "we need hugs to live"

Pic 5 note translation: "for woman life freedom #MahsaAmini"

Pic 6 notes translations: "for dancing in the alley... Hope we will laugh wholeheartedly one day" "we're going to celebrate freedom together, so promise to be safe"

Pic 7 note translation: "women life freedom"

Pic 8 note translation: "if I rise, if you rise, we will all rise. #Women_life_freedom"]

These days we're living in an almost Martial law situation. They're shooting at everyone they see. A man, Alireza Khoshkar Bayati, was talking on the phone in his car. They thought he's filming them and broke his car windows. He got scared and tried to flee, they thought he might be guilty of something so they started shooting at his car. That's how another innocent life was taken. When things like this happen we get more convinced that our only option is the regime change. When you're not even safe in your car talking on the phone, it's impossible to live. After Mohsen Shekari execution for a couple of days, people gathered in the street he closed and was executed for. The anti riot forces attacked silent protesters with tear gas and batons and shotguns. A group of people walking down the street silently. The astonishing part was that many people didn't run. They continued their walk. We have nothing to lose, nothing to live for. The regime change is the silver of hope keeping us all alive. That's why they're afraid of people walking silently. There are still demonstrations happening. In universities. In streets, mostly at night. There are strikes and boycotts. People are getting killed or abducted. And finding chocolates and hugs is no more comforting. The only comfort my people can find is the regime change.

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hyperlexichypatia · 1 year

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World Autism Day -- "Shifting the Overton Window Even Further" edition!

I'm pleased and heartened that the message of autism acceptance has started, ever so slightly, to become mainstream. Great! Now let's push for more. Here is a list, in no particular order, of principles I want to affirm for World Autism Day.

1. Autistic people are people.

2. Autism is not (classified as) a psychiatric disability/mental illness, but almost all autistic people also qualify for at least one psychiatric diagnosis.

3. Therefore, civil rights issues of psychiatrically disabled/ mentally ill/ mad people are also autistic civil rights issues.

4. It's common for autistic people to have exceptional talents in specific areas. It's not okay to call those talents "splinter skills" or "savant skills."

5. Our human value and right not to be exterminated does not come from having exceptional talents. It comes from our personhood.

6. Autistic people whose talents you can't identify, whose talents you don't see as important, or whose talents aren't economically valuable are still people.

7. All people have the right to be presumed competent to make their own decisions in life.

8. That includes autistic people.

9. That includes people who can't talk well and who type to communicate.

10. That includes people who can't talk well and who need assistance typing to communicate.

11. That includes people who don't have a job or a traditional source of income.

12 That includes people who need help with daily self-care tasks.

13. Yes, even people who need help using the bathroom.

14. That includes people who get low scores on IQ tests.

15. That includes people who have never been given an IQ test because it's just assumed that they'd get very low scores.

16. That includes people with psychiatric disabilities.

17. That includes people with the really "bad" "scary" "serious" psychiatric disabilities.

18. "Functioning" isn't a thing. It isn't a meaningful concept. Humans aren't machines. We don't have a "function" beyond existing.

19. What people generally mean by "functioning" is "meeting certain arbitrarily-selected culturally normalized goals in socially acceptable ways."

20. Because the concept of which skills and goals constitute "functioning" is socially constructed and fairly arbitrary, the concept of "functioning" is inseparable from institutional discrimination.

21. There is no such thing as an intrinsic ability, separate from external social constructs, to do things like "hold a job" or "graduate school" or "live independently," since the definitions and requirements of institutions like "job" and "school" and "independent living" are all socially constructed.

22. Saying "Some of the challenges of autistic people are from functioning impairments, and others are from institutional discrimination and ableism," while well-meaning, is Not Even Wrong, since the definition of "functioning" is also a product of institutional ableism.

23. Attempting to redefine "functioning" to encompass intangible qualities like "happiness" or "fulfillment" is similarly well-meaning but Not Even Wrong.

24. "General intelligence" is also not a thing. People have different degrees of natural aptitude for learning many different kinds of concepts and skills.

25. Most people with a low natural aptitude for learning certain skills can still improve those skills with time and practice.

26. Making decisions about one's own life does not require any particular aptitude for analogies or shapes or math.

27. A person's age is the amount of time that has transpired since that person's birth. That's it. There is no such thing as "mental age," "emotional age," "developmental age," or "developmental level."

28. There is no such thing as "developmentally appropriate."

29. There is no such thing as a "fully mature" human brain.

30. It's okay for adults to like media aimed at younger audiences.

31. Allistic (non-autistic) adults sometimes get judged for enjoying "children's" media, too, but allistic adults who like children's media get concern-trolled in clickbait articles, while autistic adults who like children's media get stripped of their civil rights.

32. Believing that one type of genetic trait is better or more desirable than another is bigotry.

33. Trying to prevent a genetic condition is eugenics. The belief that certain genetic conditions should be prevented is eugenics.

34. Eugenics is morally wrong.

35. Yes, always.

36. Eugenic goals are sometimes achieved through reproductive practices like sterilization or abortion, but that isn't what makes eugenics wrong. What makes eugenics wrong is the belief that some genes are better than others.

37. It is okay for informed, consenting adults to try to change their own cognition (through drugs or other methods).

38. It is also okay to refuse interventions designed to change cognition.

39. Both choices are equally valid. Neither choice should be framed as "doing the right thing" or "being responsible" or "setting a good example."

40. It is not okay to force drugs, therapies, or health practices on other people against their will.

41. Not even if they're psychiatrically or intellectually disabled.

42. Whatever hypothetical scenario you're about to ask "But what about...?" -- no, not even then.

43. Most autistic stereotypes made up by allistic people are dehumanizing, offensive, and inaccurate.

44. Except the ones about autistic people liking trains. Those are pretty much true.

45. Autistic (and otherwise neurodivergent) people have always existed, so historical figures and other dead people should not be presumed allistic by default. Neuroqueer your history.

46. Autistic people are between 1% and 2% of the general population, so you probably know at least one. If you don't think you know any, they're probably closeted.

47. The correct terms for autistic people are "autistic people" or "people with autism" (some people prefer one over the other, but neither is inherently offensive) or, if you want to be a bit more florid, "people on the autistic spectrum." The correct terms for people who are not autistic are "allistic people" or "non-autistic people." The correct term for people whose cognitive patterns are considered "normal" and privileged by the society they live in is "neurotypical people."

48. Universal design should be default design.

49. Autism Speaks is a hate group, ABA is dehumanizing in theory and often abusive in practice, institutions shouldn't exist, guardianship is a civil rights violation, 95% of violent crime is committed by neurotypical people, regulating brains is not equivalent to regulating guns.

50. Trains actually are awesome.

#ableism #neurodiversity #mad pride #stop being ableist #liberation #psychiatric survivors #eugenics #actually autistic

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saltcheesecombo · 8 months

Text

Oh my dear, Happy

Duluuu

You're so sweet. I can feel how nice you are to me, cook for me, accompanied me, walk with me, hang out. I can feel your warm heart everytime we met.

You're very supportive and never judge me 😊 surprisingly you pay attention on me

You always sweet and almost always joking around in chat. Every topic we had, you always have stickers and something to make it fun to discuss with.

Watching you whining and complaining about life is common but I've never see you angry to me or being rese to me.

Akhir-akhir iniii

Sometimes, I can still feel your sweetnees, somehow if only there are only we both. I can feel your warm again in Singapore and somehow afterwards. I can still feel how warm and nice you are, but somehow it's different compared to Dulu 🥲

You still became a nice person. Take me home, download the movies to me, taking care of me.

You still supportive on me, even somehow you show me like you don't care. And still, I feel surprised that you somehow still pay attention on me 😊

I can feel how care, nice, and protective you are in certain occasions. When we're in Salak or Gn. Gede, you are so sweet and protective to me. I can feel the closeness, especially when you're locking my body and warmed me and your face facing mine really close, I can feel how warm you are. and I can feel that, and grateful for that, thank you.

But now, I can't read you, whether you're okay hang out with me or not if only we're both. Because somehow you always had a reason to give it to me. You are Mr. hari-ini-gimana_besok-gimana 😿

You've became straight to the point in chat, now we've never had loong convo in chat. I almost never see your joke again. Well, I'm mirroring you. But somehow I still give a little joke to you, that you almost bever reply

I miss your stickers

Now, you can angry to me, you're able become rese to me if you're bete about something I'm not related.

The thing is when I see this side of you, instead of hating you, I was thinking if I did something wrong.

Instead of leaving you, I still care for you and wanted to stay and make you feel better.

Wondering why you become like this. Is it because you hate me, set a boundaries, and want me to leave? Or all of these are based on what you said at 26 June (then what's the meaning of our closeness in Singapore, Salak, and Gede)?

Is it because we're close enough that you can be your real self around me? I am happy if this is the reason. Seriously!!! I'm happy if this is the real reason that you became sometimes-sweet-sometimes-bitter man.

But, what am I to you??

Anyway Happy, good luck on your day 😊 Hopefully whatever you do, you do good. I wish you get berkah from whatever you are working on. Semoga lelah menjadi Lillah. Aamiin Yaa Rabbal Alamin 😊

#celotehotak #py

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shortmage · 1 year

Text

2022 End of Year Revue REVIEW

So, I used the wrong word last year, but hey just another sign that I've lived and learned and grown since then, lol. But no really, I can't help but really proud of myself and what I've managed to write and publish this last year, despite having a pretty rough time this year, especially these last few months. Every like, comment, and kudos and every kind word from someone in the servers I'm in has helped bolster me through to the end of this year and I cannot thank you all enough. Since I published my first fic in like seven years last year, I've published a total of 16 works! That's wild to me!

Just this year, I published 48,061 words but my word count tracker says that I've written 65,773 in total. So, many more things in the works (26 wips in total, I have to say)! I hit over 1,000 kudos on my works this year and I'm almost at 10,000 hits! Those numbers might seem small to anyone else but I'm really proud of what I've been able to do!

So, under the cut, a quick look at all the fics and chapters I published this year! And again, thank you everyone for reading, for commenting, for brainstorming ideas, and generally yelling about our fandom! Here's to next year!

may death find you alive

The Book of Boba Fett. General. Words: 2.074. Boba/Din.

Basically an ask here on Tumblr got me thinking about Boba's relationship with his armor and this emerged from that. Because I have a LOT of thoughts about Boba and his armor.

Relief in Sharp Lines: Chapter Two

Teen. Words: 5,409. Boba/Din.

This was written for the From BobaDin With Love event for the Commitment, Marriage day but that just worked out so well because it was a chapter I'd already been wanting to write. There's a third chapter that will finish this fic up sometime in the future!

On Honeyed Wings

General. Words: 11,856. Boba/Din.

The first chapter was published for BobaDin With Love event and it was originally just going to be that single chapter. But then the AU Bingo cards went out and it gave me another idea and so the next two chapters/the Summer section was written. And I have large chunks of the Autumn and Winter sections written, we just gotta wait and see when I'll get them done!

This Is Just To Say

General. Words: 3,923. Boba/Din.

A follow-up to last year's Father Day fic, I Want Us To Eat Well. I pretty much had wanted to write this one since I wrote the original. It was hard to recapture the lightning in the bottle that was Eat Well but I just wanted to write this fic so bad and let Din reciprocate.

Who We Belong To

Explicit. Words: 6,446. Boba/Din.

And with this fic I continued the tradition I somehow started with Of Good Use of being the "Public Acts of Fucking" writer. I apologize, I don't know how this fic happened (I do it was the BobaDin server's fault) but fuck, if I didn't have fun writing it.

Upon Silent Tethers

Explicit. Words: 3,868. Din/Cobb.

Not my first foray with Cobb, but first with writing explicit DinCobb, which I was nervous about for so long for some reason? Written for the DinCobb server's Fic Challenge/Exchange Event. It was a new experience writing from someone else's suggestion but I like how it turned out, I just hope the recipient and other readers did as well!

Meandros

Explicit. Words: 7,109. Boba/Din/Cobb.

Someone in the BobaDinCobb server said "Boba gets his thighs bitten by the other two" one day and well, my brain latched onto that SO fucking hard. And this was born. As well, oddly enough, a bit of an exploration of gender for myself. You know, as one does.

duty or privilege and but you care

General. Words: 1,436/816. Din/Cobb.

Two short ficlets that were previously published here on Tumblr. I always meant to go back and rewrite them or expand but I thought this would be a good challenge in just letting my writing exist so I went ahead and published them a bit ago to a nice reception. Helped give me more confidence in doing and publishing some flash fic in the future so I don't get bogged down in making sure my fic are "perfect".

And like last year, a few works in progress to look forward to. A few may be familiar from last year's WIP list 😬:

Honeyed Wings, Part Three and Four

Boba/Din Knights AU

Haunted (Darksaber) Din

Sarlacc Boba

Plo Koon Teacher AU

Sharp Lines Part Three

Who We Belong To Follow-Up

Boba/Din/Cobb Ailyn Vel fic (POSSIBLY)

Jedi School Visit (following some reworking post-TBoBF)

Baatir Part Two

Boba/Din/Cobb Western AU

Hannibal AU

and as always assorted NSFW fics

#mage writing

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dippietheham · 5 months

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Many stories in depression are difficult to tell or even recall. So today I'll attempt a happier one - the 19th year of my marriage to my beloved wife, and 26 years since I, emboldened by her admission that she did like me, declared that I was genuinely in love, and that I wanted to be able to take care of her even if we were apart. And no, it's not our anniversary - that was in August, which we don't celebrate. We celebrate our first handholding, which happened on the 27th of February 1997, on a bench in our senior high school, overlooking the field.

Please don't follow our example if you're still in high school, thanks. I'm sure many of you can already see the irony in my declaration too, since she's now my primary caregiver. But I digress.

I still treasure the fact that she's someone I can talk to about anything under the sky. It might not interest her but she'd still listen before changing the subject, sometimes not adroitly, but never meaning to be rude or dismissive. We started out that way actually. I'd called her on the phone at the behest of a mutual friend because P needed a neutral guy's opinion on what was turning out to be stalker like behaviour of an interested party, and possibly a bodyguard if need be.

See, we hated each other at first sight. We found reasons NOT to speak to each other. The only time we took a bus together was by pure accident, and we made sure we didn't even look at each other. So when I made that call, I was pretty reluctant and also sure that we'd hang up after some desultory conversation. She had the same impression - we made it clear that we were only talking because our mutual friend insisted.

By the end of that call, an hour? Two? had passed. It was definitely more of a 60 minute block. This was before ICQ had even come onto the scene in our lives. (If you don't know ICQ, think Whatsapp for web but much much earlier, and without Whatsapp) And somehow I had actually enjoyed that call. She must have too, because the calls became a regular thing.

I remember sitting at my PC/desk where my landline was (again, before cellphones were common or even smartphones were a thing), glued to the voice coming out of my phone receiver. She would sit on the ground floor of her home, enjoying the breeze while we shot the breeze. Some of the conversation was serious - with what I know now to be attachment issues, I was crushing hard on many young ladies who deigned to give me the time of day. P would be the person I ran to, to let loose my tears and to talk about what we looked for in our potential future partners. We discussed our pasts and dreams. We laughed at silly jokes not meant to impress, but to simply laugh. We enjoyed each other.

Little hints helped us along towards the almost inevitable outcome of any couple that starts out hating each other. We talked about things we never would have imagined telling another person. We reached school earliest - by habit, but also to rush to spend more time with each other. Our mutual friend once caught us sitting down at extreme ends of the same long table, mirroring each other's actions without being aware of it. She laughed but didn't push the issue. She knew, before we did.

In fact, when I travelled home for the holidays, she was the one who prompted me to write a letter to P. I grumbled because who writes letters to their friends?? But I did anyway because I realised I wanted to, and that I had quite a lot to say. I wanted her to know what I was doing. What I talked to my parents about. She sent a reply with a photo taken of her with some friends celebrating her birthday. I can't say I didn't feel something weird. Maybe it was jealousy at not being able to spend time with my friends. Maybe it was more. (Maybe it was because the stalker dude had turned up with cake...)

But I knew I'd fallen for her when one day, I tipped my chair in the lecture theatre back too far, and almost lost my balance. I joked that she'd laugh if I hit my head. She shook her head. "I won't laugh. I don't want to lose a good friend."

I was loved as myself and I fell hard.

I denied it for as long as I could, which was only about a month. As with most parts of this convoluted (and perhaps damning to myself) story, it was a little thing that broke the dam. She choked while drinking some water. It went on for longer than is generally considered healthy in most people. I was definitely worried.

A particularly acerbic classmate remarked snidely that as a "brother" and friend, I seemed way too concerned. I was devastated (hashtag devo-ed). Someone had seen through me. I was about to lose my best friend because of stupid dumb emotions and a lack of self control. I had to rein everything in. So I did the smartest thing I could - no other option, really. I refused to talk to P after that, even though we had a few more lectures together that day.

It was really weird on my part, in hindsight. We usually sat next to each other and passed notes and doodles to stay awake during lectures. This time, I made sure our good mutual friend stayed between us, and I refused to communicate, while I communicated volumes with my refusal to even look in P's direction. Our mutual friend was more astute than me, of course, and for the final lecture of the day, she engineered it such that I sat next to P whether I liked it or not. I believe a threat was involved to ensure my compliance, but my memory is hazy.

As we sat, and started to exchange notes, P kept asking me what was wrong. I refused to tell her. Until she asked me if I liked her. With a large arrow drawn pointing to a doodle of puke.

I nodded.

She crumpled up the paper and threw it away.

Of course the story doesn't end there, and it has a semi-good ending. (Only semi-good because she ended up with me as I am, but you know.) I'll try to share more another time if there's interest.

***

I wrote all this because the last few years have been difficult. But in this season of trying to find myself again in the midst of so many painful discoveries, I don't want her to feel like I've forgotten how far we've come. We've come a long long way. I know this.

It doesn't make the journey less painful, but it reminds me she's worth fighting for.

Thank you for listening to this story.

And thank you, my beloved wife, for always staying by me even when I hurt you the most.

#depression #choosing to be grateful #lovestory #no starry eyes #beginnings

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ddaeng-angmoh · 1 year

Text

This is going to be a long post where I talk about the struggles of the 20s. The stuggle of mental health and pain. This is brought on by recent events that occured and a beloved celebrity.

I'm not going to explicitly tag this for kpop or astro because I don't want to join that flood. I don't want anyone that is struggling to come to tumblr to relax, and be overwhelmed with the reminders of what happened. I fell apart after Jonghyun died. Irregardless of him being a celeb, I remember how it felt.

TW: talk of death , mental health

If you have been scrolling on tumblr or facebook and heard a lot of this. If this is making you feel uncomfortable and pushing you in any way to an unsafe place, please take the time to find a safe person to reach out to. Remember there are crisis hotlines for this as well. The internet will be flooded for awhile, so please take a step back from the internet if you must.

It took me a long time to come to terms with Jonghyun passing, I couldn't listen to SHINee for years without crying. I still can't sometimes. At the time, my friend told me of how there was some "death club" for celebs that passed at ages 25/26. I thought it was the oddest thing to make a club for. She hinted to it having some supernatural connection and I almost believed it.

I was 21 then, and the next year started the hardest 5 years of my life. I went from passing all my college courses to failing 6 in the span of 3 years. I quit my job, got a new one, then went on a mental health break. This led to me getting fired, and going on disability.

Last year I took a psychology course and as I realised I had entered the age of this nysterious "club" I looked back at my life broken hearted. It had been 4 years since Jonghyun passed, I was finally 25. I had been diagnosed with 2 mood disorders, adhd, 2 sleeping disorders, and been told the only cure for my mood disorders is to grow. I was incredulous when my psychologist said that to me. I got angry with him and with all my hopes and dreams crashing around me I could understand why this was such a dangerous age.

It wasn't until my teacher broached brain growth that something clicked. She told us that our brain didn't actually finish growing till around 26. That not only was the 20's the highest risk age for humans, but it was finally when we start being able to conceptualise the future. We could always dream of it before. We could understand the consequences. But we couldn't fully grasp the magnitude of the future.

We live in a society where we are expected to know what we want at 18. How unrealistic, when we only truly understand life at ~26.

The death club isn't supernatural. It's very psychological. I can't imagine the heartbreak these celebrities felt as the future came crashing in on them. That all their mental health struggles and life closed in on them and they wondered "is this it? Forever?" Because suddenly, forever makes more sense. More than it had.

I think we need to do better. Not just as a society, but as friends and family. The 20s are the age where suddenly we're freefalling, and as we plummet, we realise we can see the ground for the first time. We can finally see the end, and what it means. We imagine how it will feel to crash and break apart. All we feel is alone, and terrified, and wondering what it will sound like when we splatter to our end. How horrifying.

It's a good thing at least, that we can live our life as slowly as we like. If we take care of ourselves, we can slow our descent to the end. Outside of unexpected events of course.

I want to say for everyone younger than me, who hasn't hit this stage yet- you must already feel so overwhelmed. That's okay, because you ought to be. You're finding who you are. Take your time, and don't worry about the future. Don't put this pressure on yourself too early. And remember when you do start to see the ground, that it doesn't mean it's the end. It's still so far away. You'll be okay.

For the people in my age range who have seen it. Well, I'm in stage one of this myself. I'm terrified too. But everyday I'm seeing that it's okay. That all the things I scoffed at are true. I hated people saying to just wait it out. I never understood why they said "it's just a phase" (IT ISN'T TYVM) but now I get why they said that. They might not have experienced the pain I have mentally, but they experienced the fear of falling. The terror of seeing the end, and the peace that comes with knowing that they have a long way yet to go.

We have a long way yet to go.

Please remember that you're not alone in this. That you're not just going through a phase, and your struggles matter. The journey of the 20's is hard enough without mental fatigue and illness. But you can make it. Please don't be hard on yourself, and reach out to others. Take your time, because you need it. Because even after all this happens and your brain is done growing, and you're left with all this realisation- you still need to take the time to come to peace with it. If your mind is a pond and your growth is pebbles dropping in... then in this, you still have to wait for those pebbles to stop falling and their ripples to stop before it comes to peace again.

A bad metaphor, but the only one I can think of.

Waiting it out doesn't have to be torture. I think that's why it's so important we hold tight to the joys in our life. Why we have to cling onto what matters, and focus on the good relationships we have. Even if we have to go out of our comfort zone to make them. Because even reaching out for ourselves, we are still grasping onto someone else who needs help. We all need to support each other in this, I believe that completely. We're all lonely and aching. So why can't we find solace in each other?

I don't want to get into everything that happened today. My heart aches, and I'm not ready to confront it. The fear is coming back. I ache so much. Not just for him, his friends, or his family. But for everyone feeling the same. In this world of emotional fatigue, where we are bombarded with empathy so much that we grow numb- things like this can feel like it's really breaking me.

I don't know the people I pass on the street, or the people I reblog from or read the stories of. Yet my heart still feels for all of you. Because I know how I feel, and I know I'm not alone in it.

Growth is cruel, it hurts. It's life chiselling away at us as if we were unfeeling stone. Hacking out our form with furious cracks. But we're flesh and blood. We feel it all. And I truly hate how this pain is deemed as "necessary" it shouldn't have to be.

So please, please. Hold strong. Please hold onto the people around you. Because it will hurt. It will keep hurting. But It's not forever. We're almost done growing. There will be an end to this pain. This isn't forever. You shouldn't be burdened with getting over it. Don't hold yourself to that. Because you'll only get it over it when you find your own peace. That can't be rushed by expectations and guilt.

Sometimes I read stories and see the Romantic Leads interact. I watch in pain as one of them admits that they can't do it any anymore. They can't live their life alone and in pain. Then I watch in jealousy as their partner holds them and tells them they don't have to. They can let go of all their burdens and pains, because their partner is there for them. They will help them carry it all. And isn't that beautiful?

I feel awful guilt sometimes as a Christian. I've heard some awful things from corrupt churches, and I've had friends saying, "God will heal you if you ask". I wonder sometimes if they realise that I hear, "why are you still sick? What are you doing wrong that God isn't healing you? What's wrong with you."

I wish more churches confronted this. More of them said that it's okay to hurt and struggle. It's okay to not be healed. Because sometimes we're going to be sick. Sometimes we're hurt, and sometimes we don't see the real issue. I have repeated this many times in this post, but I want to reiterate it differently. Especially with this in mind.

We need to stop praying for healing, and looking for miracles to get better. We need to stop thinking that normalcy is the focus.

If you pray for anything, pray for peace. Pray for love. Pray for the confidence to seek someone out and ask for help. Pray for someone to hold you, so you can release your burdens. Pray for them to pick those burdens up with you, because you don't have to do it alone.

That's what will bring you true healing. Of this I know, of this I am certain. Because you don't need a romantic partner to find this. Because you don't need healing to achieve this. You really can get this all right now. But it is something that requires you to step out of your comfort zone and ask.

You don't have to ask God. I know a lot of people here have been hurt by religion and churches. This isn't a post to convert people like google docs and push my beliefs.

But you should ask someone.

Because your soul needs release. No matter who you are, and what you're going through, you need moments where you can trust in others to hold you. People can be trusted. I have no doubt you've been hurt in the past, because I have too. It was probably by someone you trusted most. That happened to me too. But that's not everyone.

If you are having a hard time. I ache for you. I understand. I feel the pain too. If you'll allow me, I'll pray for you. I can't handle life stories right now, or discussions. My own health isn't there. But if anyone wants to know that someone is thinking for them, and their health. Shoot me a dm, ask me to add you to my prayer list. I don't need to know why, so don't feel like you have to say anything specific either.

I'll pray for you day in and day out. Even if it's just one person, you can add me to the list of people that care about you. Even if we never talk again, and you don't want to talk again, I'll happily pray for you. Because I ache for you all, I truly do. I feel like I will fall apart when I hear of all the suffering around me. I so selfishly want to fix it all, and I wish I could. I want to be able to hold everyone who is hurting and tell them that I can carry their burdens for them. I just wish I could take all the pain away.

I know I can't. But I want to. So even if it's just the idea of it. I want to hug your hurts away, soothe your pain, and brush your tears away. Even for a moment. This will end. There will be peace.

With that, I want to say that I hope everyone stays strong. This age range is turbulent for a reason. Remember to hold on.

If you are experiencing any thoughts of harm or other extreme ideations, then please call one of the toll free help lines. They're there for a reason. These people are there to help. They're there for anyone to use. They're perfect if you need to talk instantly. I don't know how to write this without a total tonal shift, but it's important to bring this in.

https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp

This is a link to an engine to find help lines. Please use it if you are having intense feelings or on the precipace of a breakdown. I can't say where that line is for you, but I pray for you to have the wisdom to know if you should call.

You don't need death to find peace. I promise you of that.

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sweetslemon · 1 year

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ask game 11, 15, 17, 26

Thank you!

11: Best friend?

Friend going back from my high school days, i don't know how we got close because we weren't in the same class. She pushed me to be more outgoing because she's a social butterfly as much as she denies it, and we would go out and write letters to our future us and when apart frequent phone calls and written letters(she's a lietenant during her training couldnt use her phone) . We really wouldn't have imagined the course of life ahead of us cuz i see friends now in areas of interests we wouldve never imagined but people change mature or develop new paths and a bend in the road. She's who made me realize that because she is like that chameleon, and she has the talk ahd laugh that brightens everyone up but i also know she can act hyper and cheerful more she is depressed so we'd entered a period where we can meet up and chill not say anything but not feel awkward at all.

15: Favorite movie

To be perfectly honest i need to say light hearted marvel movies an disney cuz thats how simple i am but..

Spirited Away. This movie gives me certain feels, i love how it scared me as a child but it has an element of magic in it and because i'm feeling lost, the imagery of passing through a dark tunnel into the unknown or light gives me a sense of hope. And of course the music, i watch films half for scenery or cinematography and music (first i find the music from the film and then get interesred enough to watch it) and ghibli just makes beautiful ones

17: Someone you miss

Ironically my best friend because i've been shying away from my relationships because of my own personal problems for months, but i do wonder how she's doing and feel sorry cuz she's been through my toughest moments together. We'd eat every meal almost every day and go out for snacks every now and then that moving out and making our own group of friends felt like adulthood though we were way past kids now. Our politics or values can't be any more different but there's something going deeper, i hate to be the person ignoring texts or calls cuz im ashamed of myself or afraid i'll go on a 10 page tirade or worse, have nothing to say. I think about her sometimes when theres bad news about the military(women being assaulted)and spied on her insta to see she's ok . Im prolly gonna see her next month after i finish this one thing i'm working on

26: My biggest pet peeves

I'm sensitive towards myself and denser towards others and my surroundings so don't really care, but when people smoke heavily or/and put on cologne or perfume it's super hard trying not to cough to be polite but it does make me nauseare for the whole day or throw up. Sensitive to smells plus probably my allergies acting up. But really, not showering and covering it with deoderant is a terrible idea lmao. Men tend to have this feel

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ohimesama · 2 years

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10.4.22 Tuesday

7:21 am

Uncle Jun already up and went outside probably will feed Neko...

Me? I'm up now,drinking my kohi/coffee and still having this windblow trap... My personal case,wanna leave the hometown...

Theory:

A family or a circle of friends will never be successful if there is traitor inside the so called "group".

There is a so called "group" but all of the members only have their own personal agenda. Or there are people who joined but to spy on the agenda but will never be real on the main goal... A sad kingdom.... or there is "conspiracy" coming from old friends or from the family... A sad kingdom... is it???

9:14 am

Uncle Jun is doing his tik-tokings in the kitchen,now...

10:40 am

Uncle Jun went out going to baranggay...

Theory:

You can't give smile to a person that you don't even know their intestine.... That's the truth!

Theory:

You can't take a vow on protecting someone if you can't do it alone,first....You wanna be a protector but you let the baby grow old and you are putting the baby in the incubator for so long....The baby is already dead!!! No goal... No aim... Only jealousy and personal agenda! No success!!!

12:15 noon

Done,eating lunch with my bebeh-John....Thank God!

Trivia:

We presently have 1 aspin,her name is Lalah... This aspin is originally owned by my Uncle Jun and I just heard accidentally that Lalah is the legendary aspin in Cavite coz she is loved by a human being... She is treated with genuine love and care... The first aspin who is accepted in Cavite to have equal rights in a way,not to be abandoned on the street...

12:23 noon

Trivia:

I posted here that I was originally a cat lover... Our old living room,as you can see it used to be carpeted... We used to have 4 ac's... Whew!

12:57 noon

Trivia & Theory & Memory: On friendship!

It is just weird that I have a strange feeling on Mitch that she is somewhere,that I know that she is already married and happy perhaps and a doctor... We lost touch for so many years... Probably,my heart is longing for a good friend...

People will compare but 100% not coming from De La Salle University,coz people in De La Salle knew etiquette in life...

I just probably miss Mitch coz imagine for 3 1/2 years we were together,almost everyday from 7 am to 5pm or beyond... Mitch or Dra. San Juan she was part of yoga group coz of her scoliosis, she needs that and she was a mountaineer...

I remember she invited me to do yoga but I declined coz I enjoyed losing weight on taekwondo since I was still innocent and just enjoying...

2:26 pm

Theory:

A true friend will never back-stabbed you or tell stories that can cause your stage to shake,in- front of other people... A genuine friend will never open a negative thing about you even the intention is simply a joke...

An enemy will kick you, sometimes they will make it indirectly or in a way that is difficult for you to see...

My personal case,I feel self-pity...I have this windblow trap cult of Manalo! I feel bitter and bullshit!! Wanna leave the hometown... I feel fat and ugly...I need money and wanna express myself and I hate being caged unfairly... I need money and wanna do whitening injection and wanna a job away from here...

Theory:

A fake minister will never advice you to masturbate...They don't have the right to put a verdict on anyone most specially, for 15 years!

5:46 pm

I still have the windblow trap and I feel heavy from the past days... Hmm... Probably, coz of my sciatic pelvic pain... I still have the windblow trap and I feel self-pity and I need money and I feel bitter... I wanna leave the hometown...

I feel super self-pity... They took away my life since 2007!

5:57 pm

Uncle Jun went home and brought a cassava and mushroom flower, according to him Marvin, Old Ibias and him went to "Mushroom Burger" in Tagaytay...

In a lil while,I'm gonna share here something about that yummy "Mushroom Burger"...

6:47 pm

Oh! About this "Mushroom Burger" me and Mitch went there coz it was and still famous coz of the mushroom burger itself! Healthy and really,really yummy... Pricey for an ordinary earner around the cheapest is 2 to 3$ and beyond...

So, we went there, simply hanging out for a couple of times... Then,one day we need to decide our thesis topic... Then,one day again while we were eating,it suddenly pop-up in our head,to make a thesis about mushroom...

And I remember saying "oh! not bad at all!" Ohkay... Let's just think where we can have it for our thesis...

Then, we came up to a title of "Edible Mushroom of Basidiomycetes" as far as I can remember... Then, we asked Nick our old-aged classmate and in a way friend who lived in Laguna....We went to one of the falls there named " Buntot Palos of Laguna" or Tail of Palos Laguna... with Uncle Jun and his daughter,my cousin Janet as our supporters...

Hahaha Nick I remember Nick... He was our classmate and that time he was already on his 30's and we were both teenagers... Nick got a good family and nice house in Laguna....I remember he said my mother is crying,she didn't want me to leave the house or our family until I can give her my college diploma... That's why though I'm older than you guys and already I'm on my 30's,I have to finish my college and bring her my college diploma...

Those were the words of Nick,as far as I can remember...

Trivia:

A college diploma is a shield or a weapon when time comes that people around you is pushing you down and removing your dignity as an individual but still you have your shield...

That's my ID as a lifetime college graduate of De La Salle University...

7:36 pm

I have complex and I feel so ugly...I wanna be myself and spread my wings... I wanna see people that I wanna see... I need money, a straight talk... I need a friend who can be mutually compatible with my request and favour...Probably, an old friend like young JP... An upper friend....Time to grow....

I wanna leave the hometown,I wanna see donkey and camel...Whew!

And text of Uncle DD... I or we need money these days... I hate it we can't open the AC! I feel bitter and self-pity...

9:51 pm

I still have the windblow trap... Done,doing my stretching exercise on my sciatic pelvic pain but I think I need to see the chiropractor to fix this pain and to align whatever it is... I'm out of fundings... I can move but there is weird pain like an electricity running on my left pelvic, down to my left leg....

I feel self-pity and this weird cult of Manalo hating them so much for making me stupid for 15 years...

I need money... I have zero self-esteem for 15 years... I need a job for me... I'm losing my individuality and my rights as a woman and human being...

Wanna see people,that I wanna see... I hate being always on the 2nd choice...

Trivia:

Sex is a human nature....Sex is relevant to a human being with decency and respect and good linking of relationship with someone that you like or having a mutual understanding...

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hyperlexichypatia · 1 year

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World Autism Day, Overton Window Edition

(Written for World Autism Day 2018)

World Autism Day -- "Shifting the Overton Window Even Further" edition! I'm pleased and heartened that the message of autism acceptance has started, ever so slightly, to become mainstream. Great! Now let's push for more. Here is a list, in no particular order, of principles I want to affirm for World Autism Day.

1. Autistic people are people.

2. Autism is not (classified as) a psychiatric disability/mental illness, but almost all autistic people also qualify for at least one psychiatric diagnosis.

3. Therefore, civil rights issues of psychiatrically disabled/ mentally ill/ mad people are also autistic civil rights issues. 4. It's common for autistic people to have exceptional talents in specific areas. It's not okay to call those talents "splinter skills" or "savant skills."