#I feel like a part of the community | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tadpoles-and-daydreams · 22 days

Text

Why I cuss (affectionately) at my deities, sometimes, and why it's important to me

I'm having some feelings tonight, so here have another "Frog is rambling again" post. This one's about Loki, because they seem intent on speedrunning teaching me shit. Seriously it's been like three weeks.

I wasn't prepared for what working with Loki actually looks like. /pos

Because what that actually looks like, apparently, is sitting watching a comedy anime and getting the distinct vibe that it has a sense of humor that Loki enjoys. And then realizing that's because Loki is actively hanging around... watching fuckin' anime with me. Why the hell would Loki want to watch a dumb comedy anime with the funny little guy he works with?

Seeing a post about watching comedy as a devotional act to Loki later felt intentional, so I ended up deciding to do just that.

Thing is, I grew up exposed to the idea that God is an all-powerful being who deserves nothing less than the best and humans are the scum of the earth. I'm only now seeing that it's been damaging my relationship with my deities. I'm afraid to just chat with them 'too casually.' I apologize if I feel like I said something that's too disrespectful. I've apologized to Loki multiple times because he pulled some shit and my response was "god damnit Loki" or "you motherfucker."

And then they remind me that I call my mom the same thing, and she laughs. It's the same with my friends. All because it's not insulting, or disrespectful, it's a sign of affection. I would never say that and mean it; they know that, so it's funny. It's playful.

Amongst many other things, Loki is teaching me that joy is to be valued. This world tells us that it's dumb, childish, or any other assortment of negative descriptors- and that it has no place in spirituality. Certainly no place in the presence of a god- and that's fucking sad. I think Loki is sad about it too. I think Loki's fucking pissed, actually. How dare we be made to feel shame for what makes us happy. The gods deserve to partake in our joy and our fun just as much as they deserve to be part of our sorrow and fear.

Maybe it's just me, but I'm starting to think that hanging out with some fucker who's scrolling through memes and blasting music might just be a nice change of pace for them.

136 notes · View notes

louroth · 21 hours

Note

Forget the IF, just wanted to check in and see if YOU were okay dear author? I hope everything is well. I know you have a process lol, but I miss seeing you on my TL from time to time.

oh, kjsdhfjskdf . how sweet<3 thank you for this! I am doing well, crafting ouro alongside some personal shifts and growth and setbacks and victories. it has been a godsend to take all this pressure off for this period and do things my way. though, I'll say: while it has taken and will probably take another while, this silence will be broken at some point. I'll avoid saying soon only because I'm staunchly sticking to my pace&process. however !! I finished the draft for the first book yesterday. !! I am currently doing some hefty edits, collecting art and testing coding (&learning something new a hundred times over, over, again, whether it be storycrafting, interactivity, ui design, social media, art, code ... the list goes on) and so for the most part, I'm having a good time, as long as we count the entire spectrum of the human condition as a mostly good time. pfft.

I miss hanging out here too! I genuinely can't wait to get back to online shenanigans once I feel ready for it; if you'll have me, of course. I can imagine that this type of secret development is frustrating and everyone has their limit. It means a lot that you sent this my way. Hope you're doing well too. <3

#OUROBOROS #ouroboros-if #interactive fiction #so much has changed that i see the public demo as an entirely different work at this point. It has been a fun but daunting journey and some #part of me is sad that I couldn't handle sharing that process as much as I'd like. but life takes precedent and that's just how it be #im so pleasantly surprised that the majority of people who advocate for mental health first actually follow through on the compassion #they promise. do you know what I mean? ouro & the community around it is tiny in the grand scheme but #I have never felt so supported in my entire life #every time I feel scared or hopeless the people around me (and you know who you are. I love you!!) have given me nothing but grace #and the joy of their friendship. that's enough for me-- for now >:3

84 notes · View notes

public-trans-it · 1 month

Note

i was a trans man until after a lot of build up of doubting myself, i finally realized that we are putting ourselves further into boxes by not accepting that we are the biological sex that we are and we can do WHATEVER we want at the same time.

clothes and makeup and certain interests do not equal gender.

and not liking being a woman is an unfortunately natural symptom of puberty and/or experiencing society’s deeply ingrained misogyny. and everyone deserves support for those problems.

but we can all fight together against gender social constructs in a healthy way without prescribing people hormones and invasive cosmetic surgery to make them more like the sex they “should” be according to… social constructs…. and help them be comfortable in who they are

Alright. Its been like 9 fucking months that I have been staring down this ask. What better time than to give TERFs some nuance than right in the middle of a fucking hate campaign going on where people (well... singular person probably) are calling me a TERF. This wont backfire.

This post arrived in my inbox shortly after I made another post about gender, and just how fucking weird it can be, and how I genuinely believed every single person on this planet has a fascinating relationship with gender, and so much nuance and personal identity in theirs. Even cis people. Even TERFs. In the tags, I even begrudgingly encouraged TERFs to talk about their gender on that post if they wanted. I genuinely think that TERFs do have really cool relationships with gender. As I mentioned in those tags, the quickest way to explode a group of TERFs is to get them to start talking about their own relationships with gender, and see how vastly different it is, and watching them stab each other in the back over it. So I told them to ramble away about how they view gender, as long as they stayed the fuck away from the rest of the blog WHICH THIS ANON CLEARLY FUCKING IGNORED.

But... this anon does bring up another topic I want to talk about.

Detransition.

I am a huge supporter of detransitioning. This is... surprisingly... not a very common stance in the trans community, and it breaks my fucking heart. Like, I get it. I understand why. A LOT of detransitioners, like the person in this ask, end up weaponizing their feelings of gender against other trans people.

My support of transition comes from the intersection of two very central beliefs of mine:

Everyone should explore their gender without feeling a need to commit! This is a pretty common belief in the trans community! Damn near universal in fact! We even have a fun little term we use for people who decide to play around with gender, only to end up a bit closer to where they started and being perfectly happy with that: Cis+. Someone who is cis, but at least put in the work to understand the trans experience, and actually CHOOSE to remain Cis instead of just defaulting to it with societal pressure. Many trans people are much more comfortable around 'Cis+' people, because they know these are people who have taken the time and put in the work of being an ally. Self examination isn't easy, especially not publicly, and doing so is genuinely one of the strongest ways a Cis person could ever show their support.

It is never too late to transition. This is also a pretty common belief in the trans community! It is... sadly not quite as universal though. But it is something very important that needs to be said. You could be 80 years old, sitting in a retirement home, and go "You know what? I think I'd rather wear a dress and be treated like a lady. I don't want to be buried as a man." And I think every single trans person should have that freedom!

I was discussing this with @thydungeongal the other day, far more paraphrased than this post, and she said something incredible that has been knocking around in my head ever since.

"Gender is an ongoing process"

Those five words they said to me sum up my feelings far more than this entire post could. Gender IS an ongoing process. My gender has changed SO MUCH over the past three decades. From the straightjacket of assigned gender that I was once forced into; to the very stylish and still lovable finely tailored suit of femininity that grew a little too stuffy to wear constantly, even though I do still enjoy it and try it on from time to time; to the wonderful and freeing losely fitting clothing of being aegogender, finally feeling free to be myself and just act naturally and feel natural without having to keep up an appearance!

And I think, there is no length of time you can try out being trans, and trying out new genders, before eventually coming to the realization you were cis all along. Even if you started HRT. Even if you got SRS. Heck, I don't even think you should have to call yourself trans to do either of those things in the first place, why would I be upset that someone did them and then realized they weren't trans? No single moment in your life should EVER lock your gender in place into some unchanging, set in stone thing.

So I support detransitioners completely, with my entire heart. They deserve just as much support as every other 'Cis+' person out there.

So anon, while many people may hate you and lash out at you for detransitioning, I want you to know, that I am not one of them. It sounds like your detransition might have been forced by peer pressure, which is heart breaking to hear. No one should ever force their own gender expectations on another. I hope that wasn't the case. I hope you came to the decision yourself, after realizing whats right for you. I will never give you hate for your detransition.

I WILL ABSOLUTELY GIVE YOU HATE FOR BEING A FUCKING TERF THOUGH. YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE WITH GENDER DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO POLICE THE GENDER OF OTHERS, FUCK OFF. GET THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!

#I think I'm gonna start doing that for Read Mores #so you can find your place easier after click it #since my 'style' in these long posts is like... a fairly longish NON-readmore post. followed by the actual readmore. Let me know if it work #text essay #gender #detransition #I uh... also have some more... complex feelings of detransitioning #that may be a LIIIIIIITTLE more controversial.........#none of it goes against what i said here #its more personal stuff with my own gender and how detransition specifically is something that exists not as gender itself #but as the societal perceptions of a persons gender #but thats a more complex topic that I'll add on to this at another date #also I am absolutely taking this ask at face value for the sake of this post #but I am not so naive as to believe that the blatant TERF that sent it was being genuine #this is ABSOLUTELY the kind of thing they send people to drive a wedge in the community #I'm not even going to fucking dignify that part of it with any mention in the body of this post #edit: ........... okay the readmore accidentally moved somehow #I fixed it now though

115 notes · View notes

ofmermaidstories · 1 year

Text

there’s something so bittersweet and lovely about fanfic, at it’s core. it’s so impermeable, because it’s so individual. fics don’t get finished. fics get lost because they were typed out and sent to friends, in the 70s, and somewhere along the way someone packed it up in a cardboard box and their kids shuffled it to the attic. websites go down. archives get built, but then people lose faith in the story or the canon or the creator and delete them. you read it at like, 3am, and can’t remember the title months later when you look for it again.

the tiktok these comments are from was lamenting about the loss of a favourite fic—it (the tiktok) had 85k+ likes, and over 700 comments, mostly similar to these. people talking about downloading fics to read on a tablet only for them to disappear the next day. using the wayback machine and combing through results, just to find something they loved. i think it’s sweet because it’s so human—how easily we love something, and how easily we lose it. i used to print out my favourite fics, as a kid—i still have a binder of them, buried under yearbooks and the old journals i kept during those topsy turvy preteen years. i could tell you the overarching plot to a Cardcaptor Sakura fantasy AU i read (and loved; it became my personality for months afterwards) but i can’t remember how it ended, or if it even did. i finally broke down and signed up for an account on AO3 specifically to bookmark an old, old fic that i had read somewhere else, years and years and years ago and found again on AO3 only because i accidentally stumbled on the author here on tumblr (i had only found the fic in the first place all those years ago because of a playlist). i used the same shade of lipstick for years purely because a fic i really liked had the main character apply it (it was a limited edition one at the time; i bought my first one from a ebay seller in the UK at double the retail price, lmao) while the love interest watched them, but i can’t remember the name of it, only how it made me feel (and how, for years afterwards, i would wear that shade whenever i felt like the day had something promising to it).

one of the first anon’s i ever got, in the early days of this tumblr, was someone who asked me if it was okay if they downloaded surrender—and of course it was. of course it is. there was a point, during the final stretch when i was trying to write the last chapter, that i almost lost the entirety of what i had written for that fic—and i mean, it was on AO3 by that stage so it would’ve only set me back a chapter or so, but it goes to show how fragile things can be. how sometimes fics only last in tiny ways—because of the unfinished PDF file someone downloads. The patchy memory of someone’s who’s jumbling it and three other fics together. Because someone wore the same shade of lipstick you mentioned, off-hand, for years afterwards.

(this is a love letter to the silent readers; the silent savers. the lurkers. fandom and the internet at large is made of lurkers (eighty-five thousand likes. seven hundred comments). people who saved fics and waybacked them and will reread them, even uncompleted. telling each other we did a good job, that we liked this or we liked that is wonderful, and fun, and a great (and important) way to build a community and has also given me my current friends—but sometimes something you make will matter and live on in a way you will never, ever know. and it’s just how it is. it’s part of the fun and it’s part of the charm. it’s just how we work as people.)

#floating rubbish island: mermaid spam #shall i do a part two for the opposite end of the spectrum? the readers who tell you as they’re rereading?#the ones that come back to point out details that have stuck with them?#sometimes i worry i don’t give enough to those of us in the community who do that #today i got a comment on surrender and it made my whole day—which otherwise would’ve been spent being miserable trying to sweat out my fever #people are so sweet and i feel so empty-handed for them sometimes #because time is so valuable—people don’t *have* to comment #people don’t *have* to note the tiny details #i share these fics because i *want* to—that is a choice i make knowing that maybe people won’t like it or respond to it #no one asks me to spend the time i do on these fics and so no one owes me for it #which makes the time someone *does* spend commenting or tagging or saying hello even more precious

607 notes · View notes

selfidentifiednerdyprude · 1 year

Text

We're coming up on "ace people are Very Welcome in kink communities acktschually" season so I would just like to make sure that everyone knows that this might be true for a certain type of ace person and a certain type of kink community, but maybe we shouldn't universalize that experience

honestly we should stop presenting the highly stylized, highly psychosexual environment of the kink community as a one size fits all solution for basic human problems like "I would like to be able to communicate more honestly about my relationship preferences" or "I have a need for validation from an authority figure". like. I think we should encourage a wide variety of different solutions for those problems actually and I don't think all of them should exist under the umbrella of kink

#asexuality #crossover with trustedcompanionship lol #my aroace ass who is interested in power exchange But Not Like That definitely did not feel welcome in the kink community #when I attempted to fit into it #which is part of why I had to create my own terminology and paradigm for the kinds of relationships I prefer

447 notes · View notes

commsroom · 1 year

Text

there's an interesting statement being made about identity if you accept all of the wolf 359 characters are equally themselves as of the finale: eiffel is form without memory; hera is memory without form; lovelace is both, but without continuity of experience; minkowski is both with continuity - and she's still not the same person that goddard recruited. if we're never the same people we were, but we're always ourselves, then the only way the self can be defined is through its own assertion - and maybe it can be argued that "my name is-" (and later, being able to say "my name is hera" reintroducing herself to pryce) and "i am captain isabel lovelace. no matter how hard you try, you are not taking that away from me" and "without me, who are you?" / "renée minkowski, and that is more than enough to kick your ass" are all the set up for (and part of the answer to) "am i still doug eiffel?"

#wolf 359 #w359 #it's about accountability but also about inevitable change and the willingness to learn from the past #and change for the better #holding those maybe contradictory ideas in your head #that we can't escape who we are. the limitations of the self or the people we've been in the past. but also #that there's no permanent state of self we're bound to #that the self is a constant negotiation of presentation and communication with others and can't exist in a vacuum #but also that it is about inherent worth and self-defined and self-named #i think that line is so interesting. 'we can't just change who we are but we get better.'#because depending on how you interpret it it either supports or contradicts this philosophy #and i think the difference in how hera interpreted it vs how maxwell might've meant it is part of how they misunderstood each other #and why it's an idea that stuck with hera and that she returns to. and feels like it was a lie. after maxwell betrays her #but that's another discussion maybe.#and also of course. the significance of names in wolf 359. but that's a whole thing on its own too.

490 notes · View notes

updownlately · 8 months

Text

4 - oh you love me, you love me

series masterlist

~~~

“Hi bub…”

Keeping your voice low, you walked softly into the room, beelining straight to the blonde under the covers, her head barely peeking out.

Settling on the edge of the bed beside Alessia, you smoothed out her messy hair, a soft smile on your face at how adorable she looked- a sleepy grimace coating her face as blonde strands stuck out in every direction, no doubt a result of the nap she had taken earlier.

Hand coming to rest on her forehead as you stopped your ministrations, you quietly checked her temperature, mindful of the fever she had a few hours ago.

Feeling it to be near normal, you contemplated asking her how she was feeling, cautious of annoying the blonde as she was waking up.

You decided to take the leap however, and ask, well-aware that you’d have a grumpy Alessia on your hands afterwards.

Still, being careful to not rouse the blonde too much with your voice, you kept it quiet as you spoke, words nearly a whisper.

“How are you feeling now? How’s your stomach?”

At your questions, the striker let out a small grunt, no other response besides her shuffling ungracefully until her head was resting on your thigh.

Shaking your head fondly at her antics, you ran your fingers through her hair as she settled, scratching Alessia’s scalp in an attempt to bring her some comfort.

Trying again, you spoke once more.

“Less, baby, does anything still hurt?”

Again, another grunt, this one with a hint of a whine at the end this time. You shook silently with laughter at her response, eyes rolling lovingly at the child-like behaviour.

“Alessia…” Your tone was playful but the warning in it was clear- you really needed to know how she was doing so you could help her.

The slight push was successful, the English woman finally responding verbally.

“Cramps are still bad and my back hurts.”

Her voice was quiet though, discomfort apparent as her face scrunched up as she spoke.

You knew the drill at this point- on her periods, Alessia liked to cuddle a hot water bottle as you both would watch a movie, light sandwiches shared between you two as you huddled under a blanket or two in your bedroom.

Nodding to yourself as you created a plan in your head, you made a move to get up, ready to go heat up some water for a hot water bottle and grab some food and ibuprofen.

You didn’t get far however, Alessia burying her face into your torso at the slightest movement, her arm coming to lay across your lap, preventing you from leaving.

Unfortunately for you, as adorable as her wanting you to stay was, you knew Alessia would be in more pain if you didn’t get up right now, well aware of just how awful her periods got sometimes.

“Love, I’m just gonna fill you a hot water bottle, see if that helps…” Trying to convince the blonde to let you go, you tried to gently lift her arm off you. Your effort was futile though, her grip only tightening.

“No.” The response was clear, the blonde making no effort to loosen her grip.

“Lessi…”

“No. Please…” Her voice was quieter this time, nearly pleading.

Sighing, your shoulders deflated at her tone, knowing she was typically more clingier during the first day or so of her period, the pain heightening her need for your presence.

“Only a little while, okay? After that I need to get you hot water and some food probably.”

And as Alessia moved over to the middle of the bed to make room for you, you got comfortable, sitting with your upper back against the headboard, propped up by pillows, legs stretched out as you made room for the Gunner.

Patting the space between your legs once you had situated yourself, you helped Alessia get comfortable in your hold, her back pressed to your front as you pulled the laptop she had been using earlier closer to you.

Continuing the episode that the blonde had fallen asleep to, you let her rest her head on your shoulder, placing a loving kiss on her temple as you snaked your hands under her shirt, coming to a rest just under her stomach.

Gently kneading, you did your best to massage the area as you both watched the show, trying to alleviate some of the pain.

You could feel Alessia relax at your movement, body getting heavier and breaths getting softer, her slowly falling back asleep with the help of the comforting touch.

Briefly stopping your massage, you quickly turned the volume down of the laptop as to not wake her again, trying your best not to laugh as the girl in your arms whined at the faintest absence of your touch.

Carrying on once again, a soft smile ever present on your face, you settled in, not unfamiliar with this situation with the number of months you had been together, but more than content to be there for her.

~~~

It was nearly an hour later when Alessia rose from her second nap, and if you were honest, you didn’t think she could have gotten any more cuter.

Sleep laden eyes, the blonde had immediately buried her face into your neck upon waking up, adjusting herself to be sideways in your lap as the evening light started streaming into the room.

The pair of you had sat there, cuddled up, for the better part of a half hour, you doing your best to make sure to slowly wake the blonde up, asking little questions here and there until she was fully coherent.

You had eventually convinced her to shower as you started on plans for dinner, an idea, a small surprise, on your mind.

Gathering all that you needed, you worked quickly, time limited.

Pulling away the coffee table in your living room, you quickly rearranged your couch, converting it into the bed it could become, before grabbing all the fluffiest blankets, pillows, and stuffies in the house and throwing them on the makeshift bed.

Scouring around the apartment and the groceries you had gotten earlier, you prepped a snack tray full of the blonde's favourite treats, setting that near the fort you had built.

Finally, boiling some water, you prepped a hot water bottle for when Alessia was out of the shower.

Hearing footsteps just as you finished pouring the water into the bottle, you quickly set the kettle down, screwing the top shut before turning around.

Smiling at the fact that she was wearing one of your oversized hoodies, you proudly presented her with the hot water bottle before taking her hand and leading her to the living room.

Coming to a stop and facing the blonde, you watched as she took in the sight before you- dim lighting around the area, a few candles, the sofa-bed filled with blankets and pillows, snacks, and the TV set up, ready for any streaming service to be chosen.

“I-…huh? What?”

Sending you a bewildered look, Alessia tried to find the words to convey her shock, surprised at how you managed to pull this off in fifteen minutes.

“What is all of this?”

Shrugging your shoulders in response, a nervous smile on your face, you rubbed the back of your neck anxiously.

“I know we had plans to cook together tonight but I figured we could have a relaxing night in instead…”

Slowly walking over to the handful of take out menus you had piled up on the side, you picked them up, bringing them back to the blonde with a sheepish smile.

“Bub, you’re on your period and I think it would be nice if we can just put on a movie, have some snacks, maybe order in, and just cuddle and…relax? No pressure for the night. Just you, me, some good, easy food, and some good entertainment y’know?”

Watching you explain your thought process with a lovesick smile on her face, Alessia stepped closer to you, arms coming around to pull you into a hug, burying her face into your neck.

Sighing into the crook, you felt the smile on the Gunner's face, her hug getting just a tad bit tighter with every passing second, almost as if she was trying to physically make you feel her love.

Relaxing into her hold, you let out a breath at the gesture, glad you had read Alessia correctly.

Pulling back slightly, her sky-blue eyes met your own, head tilting earnestly as she glanced around the room quickly before looking back at you.

“This really sounds like the perfect night right now, thank you.” An apologetic smile crossed her face as she continued, “sorry I’m not in the mood to cook, I know I promised to teach you how to make pasta from scratch and-”

Cutting the striker off before she could spiral into a series of unnecessary apologies, you pulled her close, placing a soft kiss on her lips to quiet her.

Leaning back with a smile on your face at the dazed look in Alessia’s eyes, you grasped her hand in yours, tugging her onto the sofa behind you.

“Less, love, don’t worry a second about it okay? Plus anyways, I’m feeling a little La La Land and some snacks…and then we can order food in a bit yeah? Sounds alright?”

Smiling at the eager nod you got, you situated yourself, helping Alessia dig her way to the middle of the pulled out sofa. Letting her get comfy, you grabbed the softest blanket you had found, coincidentally her favourite one, and gently placed it on the blonde, making sure the hot bottle rested comfortably before settling yourself beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as she laid her head on yours.

A carefree smile unknowingly residing on your face, you flicked through the plethora of streaming services before you found the correct one, hitting play on the movie before tugging your love impossibly closer.

Unbeknown to you, Alessia had a matching smile on her own face, heart softening at the thought of the effort you had gone through- that you always went through, when she was on her period. At how you would always go out of your way to make sure she was comfortable, her very much aware that you had most definitely picked up majority of the snacks today knowing she was starting her period and craved them. At how you checked in with her, took care of her, stayed with her so she wasn’t in pain alone, fed her, did all of that and then some for her.

Well aware your love didn’t need words, Alessia revelled in the thought behind your actions, letting herself fall deeper in love with you as the opening credits rolled around.

Glad that of all the people in the world, she had you by her side through all the good times and bad, she pressed herself into you, letting your warmth wash over her and bring her comfort as you played your guys’ favourite movie.

And as day turned to night, the fall cold slightly sweeping in as the TV illuminated the room in bright lights, the two of you sat, cuddled up, warmed up, and loved up, needing nothing more than the other and the love and comfort of the home you were building together.

#this got a bit longer than i was expecting but oh well :)#i feel like i lost the vibe slightly with this one but ima still share it bc i honestly don't wanna rewrite this #not proofread as usual #alessia russo x reader #alessia russo imagine #alessia russo #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso one shot #woso community #woso #fluff #my writing #part 4 of a 15 part series :)#bpom #blurb

278 notes · View notes