#I have a lot of thoughts on that matter but I'll let it be for now.

[delta-lethonomia]

There's a reddit thread on the BG3 sub where the user u/InklingRain posted a spreadsheet they made with all the companion approvals. Super useful in general both for playing the game and for fic, so I thought I'd post it on tumblr and play around a little!

There's a top row with the average approval by companion, but I didn't find that very useful, so I changed it to the count of approvals (i.e. count of approvals & disapproval total, how often a companion had a reaction to something). We all know Astarion gives a lot of disapprovals here and there, but they're only -1 at a time, so no big deal, right?

No. Minsc has the least at only 45 reactions, Halsin at 95, Minthara at 145, and of the main companions, Gale is pretty average at 198, Lae'zel at 224, and Shadowheart, rather opinionated at 258...

but that's nothing compared to Astarion's 406. That's almost 150 more than the next person!!! That's more than Minthara and Shadowheart combined! Babygirl really woke up one day and decided to get in a snit over everything that happens 😂

(Longer post about count of positive and negative opinions, sum of approvals and disapprovals, and some major outliers below. Picture with values at the very end.)

But that's a bit disingenuous. If we look at the ratio of positive to negative opinions (not taking value into account), Astarion's pretty average at 30% (negative count over sum count, so let's call that negativity). This is similar to Gale (31%), Karlach (30%), and Lae'zel (32%). In theory, getting Astarion's approval or disapproval is just as easy as any of theirs, with a 20% bias towards positive approvals. Later companions are weighted heavily towards the lower end of the spectrum, with Jaheira at 13% negativity and Minsc at 9%. As you only get them very late, it's pretty clear that the game gives you a lot of opportunities to get their approvals and thus open up more of their quests and dialogue.

However. We have an outlier. Wyll Ravenguard, clocking in at an indecent 38% negativity! Which really just goes to show, while Astarion is the most opinionated, Wyll has the most disapprovals, making him the judgiest companion of all 🤣

However, this really wouldn't be a good post if we didn't look at the value of approvals. Karlach, for instance, has the strongest disapproval value of -100 (given if you sleep with her and then call it a mistake). Ouch. This is clearly at outlier and doesn't say much about Karlach's changeability of opinion in general. If we look at the sum of positive and negative opinions, this is a very heavy swing, making up 100 points of her total 191 disapproval points possible to her 281 approvals total. Another outlier is Minsc, who currently possesses a 43% disapproval percentage (a heavy -50 disapproval given if you sacrifice him to Sarevok. Jaheira, by contrast, apparently doesn't give a damn, or her value might simply not be included in the dateset.)

Removing outliers is really a matter of opinion here, so I'll only remove the most extreme swings, such as the above mentioned disapprovals.

The otherwise strongest swings are Astarion (-15 for telling him it was a mistake preventing him from drinking Araj's blood, or saying you only wanted to sleep with him, not deal with his trauma) and Wyll (+20 for siding with Karlach during his confrontation with her, which really shows he didn't really want to kill her and is very grateful you stopped him). Halsin gives +40 for reuniting Oliver with Thaniel, which...lifting the shadow curse is sort of his life's mission, and a bit of a unique case, so while it makes sense, I think it's such a unique event that can't be topped by anything else and will remove it. Jaheira give +20 for extending the Emperor's protection to Minsc, and, for funsies, Minthara's heaviest disapproval is -5 for donating to Lolth at the Stormshore Tabernacle. (lol)

I only chose to remove the aforementioned Karlach, Minsc, and Halsin values, as they're all very large swings and rather character-defining or personal to the individuals mentioned, so I don't think it says much about them in a more general day-to-day sense.

Now, using the sums of our negative and positive values, Gale is our most Negative Nancy, clocking in at 37%, which goes to show that while he's pretty average for the amount of things he cares about, when he disapproves, it's a strong one. Next up is Astarion at 35%, and Wyll at 34%. Lowest are Jaheira and Minsc at 7% and 4% respectively, which makes an intuitive sort of sense: Jaheira is old and just over being upset by the players poor choices, and Minsc is an insanely positive person overall. The next most positive companion is Halsin at 13%, which also matches with his vibe pretty well, followed by Minthara at 17%, Karlach at 24%, Lae'zel at 26%, and Shadowheart at 28%.

Tl;dr: Astarion has many, many opinions, but Wyll is the most judgemental (most disapprovals compared to approvals possible). However, when it comes to the strength of those disapprovals, Gale reigns supreme, followed by Astarion.

If don't break Karlach's heart, help Halsin achieve his life's ambition, or sacrifice Minsc, then they're pretty positive overall. Later companions are heavily weighted to approve of your actions, and Minthara is comparatively judgemental, but overall far more easy to gain approval than disapproval from.

If you take the average of all these values and include the later companions to look at as a personality "baseline" of how judgy and how strong those disapprovals may be, then...the Act 1 companions are all dramatic af, which really should come to no ones' surprise, while Karlach is the most willing to give the benefit of the doubt imo.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #wyll ravengard #gale dekarios #the best time to mess around with a spreadsheet is 2am of course #I hate google sheets but don't care enough to do fancier things in excel #could I do actual math here? yes. am I going to? no

[ivantillz]

can u write a fic of ivantill navigating their feelings after the kiss if they were both saved by the rebels

Till was annoyed. He was also feeling a lot of other things, undoubtedly, but annoyance was at the top of the list because why wouldn't they just let him see Ivan already?

"Can you please stop pacing?"

He paused mid-step and glanced over at Mizi.

"I just found out one of my friends who I honestly thought was dead has actually been alive this whole time and my other friend is currently being operated on after nearly giving his life to save me. Sorry if I'm a little antsy."

Mizi gave a small smile, undeterred by his bluntness as usual. Or what used to be usual. Till wasn't so sure what had or hadn't changed.

"He'll be okay, I promise." Even as she said it, her eyes were drawn to the closed door. They couldn't even hear anything through the thick metal. "You heard them; the wound was pretty minor. Just grazed his side."

Till pressed his lips into a thin line, hands curled into fists at his sides.

"Why did he do that?" he asked, barely louder than a whisper. Mizi stood up and crossed the hall, drawing him into a hug. He used to dream about this - having her undivided attention - but now it did little to ease the terrible pain in his chest.

Sniffing once, he hugged her tight. She didn't say anything, even as began to cry into her shoulder.

-

It was nearly two hours before the door opened and one of the healers - Mizi had introduced them but honestly Till couldn't remember her name; he had been kind of traumatized at the time, okay? - stepped out.

Till tried very hard not to focus on the blood staining the front of her shirt. "He's stable," she said.

"Okay, great." Till didn't even wait before trying to push past her; she didn't budge. "Come on! I just want to see him."

She smiled politely. "I didn't say you couldn't. Just try and be quiet, okay? He might be doze in and out, don't try to force him to stay awake."

Till pursed his lips. "I know," he grumbled. Mizi joined his side.

"Thank you," she said. With a shared nod, the healer left. Inside the room was the other healer; he quietly set a rag on Ivan's forehead before also leaving the room.

"He still has a slight fever," he explained. "If he asks, you can refresh the rag." He pointed to a bucket on the table with what Till could only hope was clean water.

Once he was gone, Till walked over to the bed and sat down. Mizi sat on the other side of the bed. Ivan hadn't stirred since they walked in.

He looked bad - terrible, even. His skin was even paler than usual, there was a bit of crusted blood still at the corner of his mouth, dark circles under his eyes.

But he was alive, and that was all that mattered.

"I'll just stay until he wakes up," Mizi said quietly, staring at him. "I just want to make sure he's okay."

Till had almost forgotten he wasn't the only one who had been wounded by what happened. He suddenly felt a little guilty.

"You don't have to leave," he said instead.

She smiled over at him; there was something about the look in her eyes that made Till feel exposed. He didn't like the feeling. "I think you two need to talk."

He didn't argue, even if the last thing he wanted to do right now was talk about what had happened. Any of it.

-

Ivan woke up about ten minutes later; he was groggy, as expected, voice hoarse and scratchy.

"Here." Till moved without even thinking, grabbing a cup he had noticed on the table a little earlier.

Ivan was too weak to even hold it. Till adapted quickly; he held the cup to his lips and tilted it back a little. Once Ivan was done, he set it aside again.

"So," he licked his lips. "I guess this isn't heaven, huh?"

Mizi laughed softly. "Not even close. But you're safe here, at least."

He sighed, groaning a little as he tried to sit up. Till moved quickly, gently grabbing his arm to help him. He wasn't even sure if he should be moving yet but he wasn't about to fight him; that just seemed like asking for even more trouble.

"I really expected to die up there," he said once he was settled, the rag fallen at his side. Till grabbed it, plopping it in the bucket for now.

Mizi pressed her lips together. "I think I'm going to go see if they have anything that'll be easy enough on your stomach," she said, gently touching Ivan's shoulder as she stood.

"I'm not hungry," he replied automatically.

She clicked her tongue. "Too bad; you need to eat to recover."

Without waiting for a reply, she swept around the bed and paused just long enough to squeeze Till's shoulder once before leaving the room.

The silence was almost suffocating.

"You weren't really choking me," Till blurted.

Ivan side-eyed him. "Of course not," he said slowly. "Did you really think I would?"

Till opened his mouth, closed it. "I'm not really sure of anything anymore," he admitted quietly.

"It was just a ploy," Ivan continued, looking away. "I don't know. I just needed them to believe it."

It was silent again for a few beats. Till stared at his hands.

"You could've killed me," he said eventually. "I didn't care."

He chanced a look; Ivan was still staring ahead at nothing, his mouth a tight line. "I would've never let that happen," he said and for a moment Till wasn't sure what he meant until - "I would've done anything to ensure your safety."

And that was the crux of it, huh?

Till thought of Ivan's hands around his throat, surprisingly gentle. He thought about his mouth. His lips. He had kissed Till like he was searching for something. Like he needed something.

"You kissed me," he said. It felt weird, finally saying the words.

Ivan snorted, shaking his head minutely. "I did." He side-eyed Till again. "I know it was selfish of me. I know."

"But if you could do it over again, would you still kiss me?"

Till wasn't even sure what had motivated him to ask. Ivan smiled; it was almost sad. "Probably."

He nodded. He wasn't upset. He wasn't even sure if he had been upset, in the moment, not for longer than a second. Mostly he had been confused.

But now that he had time to think on it, he wasn't so confused anymore.

"I never knew," he mused quietly. "I mean." He looked up, suddenly a little angry. "You never told me. You should've told me."

All that time he had been chasing after Mizi and a part of him had always known it was never going to happen. She had loved - she still did - love Sua.

Time wasted. He had never even considered...

"There was no reason to burden you with my own feelings," Ivan said evenly. "I'm selfish, maybe, but I didn't want to make things even more complicated for you."

Till breathed out through his nose. "You really think you were doing that for my sake?" he asked, struggling to keep his voice level. "You think you had the right to decide what was best for me?"

Ivan stared back at him, eyes as dark as ever. "I don't understand."

"You kept it from me," Till continued, pressing a hand to his chest, "because you were scared to say it. You were scared of how I would respond."

Ivan let out a humorless laugh. "We both know how you would've responded, Till." He sighed. "This is a pointless argument to have."

He still wasn't getting it. "No," he said, leaning closer. "We don't know how I would've responded because you never gave me the chance."

"Just like you gave the same chance to Mizi?" he shot back.

Till pressed his lips together. "That is not the same and you know it. Sua loved her back. It was different. I - " He paused, biting the inside of his cheek.

Suddenly the fight was drained out of him. Ivan eyed him warily.

"You what?" he asked, looking cautious and almost nervous. Till had never seen that expression on his face. He always looked so in control of everything. It was nice to be reminded he was really just human like the rest of them.

Till swallowed around the lump in his throat. "I think I could've liked you, Ivan. If only I had known."

Ivan stared at him like he wasn't really seeing him. "No," he said, too fast. He looked more scared, here, than he had up on that stage.

"Didn't factor that into your little plan, huh?" he asked; without asking, he pulled the rag out of the water and wrung it before leaning forward to gently scrub away the dried blood on his chin. "I don't think I ever really liked her, not in the way I thought I did."

Ivan was silent, his jaw clenched.

"I was just - I needed something. An escape. A dream. She was nice to me. Pretty..." Till sat back. "I think I just really wanted someone to care about me."

Ivan glanced at him briefly before looking away again.

"But this whole time I was blind to see I had that," Till felt his eyes burning. "Maybe you weren't as obvious about it, maybe you had your own way of showing it, but... that doesn't matter." He tossed the rag aside and reached for his hand; Ivan stiffened as he grabbed it but didn't pull away. "I would like to have a second chance."

Ivan stared at their hands. "You don't owe me this," he said, voice still carefully even.

"I'm not offering anything because I feel like endowed to you," he squeezed his hand, hard. "You know me well enough to know I wouldn't do that. Now stop fighting me on this and look at me."

Ivan lifted his head.

"Thank you, Ivan," he said, staring into his eyes - dark, yes, but warm, comforting and familiar - "for caring about me, even when I couldn't see it."

Ivan opened his mouth, closed it. He squeezed his hand back. If Till didn't know better, he would even say he was blushing a little.

Maybe he would always have a bit of regret for not really seeing Ivan earlier. Maybe Ivan would apologize many more times for kissing him without permission. Maybe he would try to apologize for hurting Till, even if he didn't. Not really. All the pain he had felt - the real pain - was cured the moment he had known he would be okay. Maybe they would still struggle a lot, have bad and good days, but maybe that was okay.

#alnst #ivantill #alien stage #ivantill fic #alnst till #alnst ivan #alnst mizi #mywriting #hope u enjoy anon! #ivantill requests/prompts are open to all btw #they rly help motivate me soooo

[sunflowerskies00]

bet my heart, part 7

bees are gonna make wild honey

series masterlist

"You're distracted," Jake informs me as the band stops. I knew it. He knew it. We all knew I was distracted. This sound check was going to shit, and we all knew it.

"Thank you for that captain obvious," I roll my eyes at him.

"We can take a break," Damien offers. I shake my head, we couldn't. We needed to get the sound check done, and I needed to know that my show tonight wasn't going to be an absolute shit show. I didn't have high hopes for either one of those things to be successful.

"Let's just run it one more time," I say.

"Sage," Jake says. I glance over towards him, and he has an all-knowing look on his face.

"Okay, five minutes," I agree. I put my mic down and I'm off the stage in a matter of seconds. I hear footsteps behind me and I assume it's Jake. He's in front of me before I realize it, and he comes to a stop so I can't keep going.

"What's going on with you? Is it Quinn?" He asks. I raise an eyebrow, he knew it was Quinn, he just wanted me to give him the confirmation of his assumptions. "Fine, I know it's Quinn, what's going on?" He asks.

"I don't know," I answer honestly. He raises an eyebrow at me this time, waiting for me to elaborate. "I don't know what's going on between us, we have a lot to talk about and I have to wait for him to get here in a couple of days," I explain.

"Oh, so you two are finally going to admit you're in love with each other?" He asks. Apparently, I must have some weird look on my face because his next words are, "Don't look at me like that, we all know you're in love with him, and he's in love with you, the only two people who don't realize it are you and Quinn, it's sad really." My mouth opens, but I don't say anything just stare at him. "Just take five, breathe, do what you need to do, but just know that everyone knows that man is in love with you it's sad," That's all he says before leaving and I'm assuming going back to the stage. I spend the next five minutes with my back pressed against a wall, eyes closed, and trying to get my shit together so I can make it through this sound check and concert.

My mind is still racing when I walk back onto the stage and pick up my microphone.

"You good?" Damien asks. I nod my head, even if I wasn't, I could fake it.

"Can we switch it up for sound check guys?" I ask them.

"What song?" Jake asks.

"Let's do an old one, one that I gave to someone else, Friends Don't," I suggest. I had written the song a couple of years ago, and it didn't fit the vibe I had going on in my music so it got sold to another artist, however, the song was about my not-so-friend-like relationship with Quinton.

Miraculously I make it through our soundcheck song, shocking for everyone. What's even more shocking is when I leave the stage, Quinn is standing there, staring at me. He wasn't supposed to get in until late tonight, so I'm confused as to why I'm looking at him right now.

"I thought you're plane landed at like midnight? I ask him. That's what leaves my mouth instead of hi.

"It was supposed to, but I was going insane so I rearranged my schedule, and here I am," He lifts a shoulder, it's a half-shrug. He was here, we could talk, I needed this conversation to happen. I take a step closer to him and then Lucy appears out of nowhere.

"Hair, makeup, clothes," she says. I glance at Quinn, I'm sure the desperation for this conversation is showing in my eyes.

"Go, do your job, I'll be here whenever you're done," he says, a small smile on his face. I force a nod and follow Lucy down the hall, tossing one last glance back at Quinn.

#quinn hughes #quinn hughes imagine #quinn hughes fic #vancover canucks #jack hughes #luke hughes #nhl imagine #nhl hockey #trevor zegras #cole caufield #quinn hughes x oc

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Bestie Deficiency

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #a-qing #xue yang #xiao xingchen #Xue yang is cold because cold blooded creatures can't generate their own body heat #I am skipping over drawing the stories they tell due to the fact this arc is already really dragging #but I think they are very key in understanding the yi-city characters #Even if they are stories that really bring down the slumber party vibes A-Qing was hoping for. #I mentioned some of my thoughts in the tags of no. 76 but to continue on a bit more #I think xxc and xue yangs stories inversely mirror each other on the meaning of sacrifice and what it means to 'deserve' something #to xue yang he has only ever sacrificed - therefore he is in his right to 'deserve' what he wants. And he wants everything. #xxc leaves song lan thinking its the best course of action to atone but my god. No it wasn't. Poor communication crown actually goes to xxc #but it's what xxc he feels he deserves - continued sacrifice to atone. He wants to want nothing. #both are very stuck in the past in ways that are not actually accounting for their actions #It's easy to look at xue yang and go 'dang you need to get over your childhood trauma' #but that very much ignores that fact that we - real human beings - define so much by our childhood pains. #Growth is having to come to terms with it and trying to move past it...and not everyone is ready for that. #I have a lot of thoughts on that matter but I'll let it be for now. #Anyways. Amiguito appears to be one of those words whos meaning change depending on speaker and contextual factors #So as far as I can tell it slides around on the scale on romantic and platonic. Which works for this dynamic. I think. #Native Spanish speakers I am so sorry.

[thethingything]

I find it kind of interesting that we have a couple of delusions (and the hallucinations that come with those) that just kind of involve gruesome stuff happening to us, especially because they weren't as gruesome at first but have gotten more so over time.

the hallucinations are all somatic ones (sensations instead of visuals or audio) but they're stuff like I guess what our brain thinks it would feel like if our organs were decomposing, or being eaten by maggots, or just stuff with a similar vibe to that?

I can put up with it for the most part, but like I did nearly throw up on the bed because of it earlier and I'd really like to not experience that again

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #emetophobia tw #vent post #<- I guess? I mean it kinda sucks but I'm not that upset about it right now #anyway this is partly from the Cotard's delusion and partly because we also get delusions involving being parasitised #I think they're kind of linked together for us. like there's a similar vibe to them somehow #anyway the Cotard's delusion is like... it flares up every so often and gets really intense #but otherwise it's mostly just there in the background as like ''yeah that's a thing we experience'' but not affecting us that much #it's hard to explain how we usually feel about it when it's not flaring up really intensely #but at the moment it is flaring up so it's like... okay I guess this is what we're doing for the foreseeable future #idk we might just wake up later and be like ''oh never mind'' or it might flare up for a few weeks or whatever #also talking about this is wild because like I've definitely mentioned us having it but I'm still aware that everything says it's super rar #even though we've met multiple other people who have it and we had it for years without knowing it had a name or anything #but I'm still paranoid about getting fakeclaimed because people like to be like ''that's so rare. there's no way you can have that'' #like idk what to tell you buddy my brain is convinced that I'm dead and that my organs are decomposing. I'm not happy about it either #being able to double-bookkeep and know we're experiencing a delusion also makes it weirder #because it's like yeah I know it sounds ridiculous and is technically impossible but my brain has decided that none of that matters #and me being like ''well that can't be true'' feels like being in denial so even though I know it's a delusion #a lot of the time it's easier to just lean into it and go ''okay sure I guess I'm dead. who gives a shit'' #anyway let's see how I end up feeling after talking about this because either I'll post it and be like ''yeah this is fine'' #or I'll get paranoid about being fakeclaimed or people being like ''what the actual fuck'' and end up deleting it

[medicinemane]

I get very tired of dealing with people who are so busy being "practical" that they're just totally prescriptive

I tend to be, I think, a fairly pragmatic person. Like most years I spend about... maybe $50 on myself for the whole year (this year is going to be a bit higher, but there's also specific utility to what I'm spending it on). I tend to not bother buying myself snacks, cause I know I'm mostly hungry, and if I'm hungry real food is a better deal (I sadly tend to fail to get ahold of the real food either)

My point is that I tend to be very goal oriented (not in a ladder climbing way, in a I set goals and then work towards them kinda way), I tend to be very focused on what will push my situations into being sustainable, I tend to look for high efficiency, low cost, long term solutions

I was... I was talking to that friend I'll say is Dr Jekyll and Mr Dumbass (I was more trying to talk to my dad, but they were both there). It was definitely Mr Dumbass today

For one thing, he was already saying a bunch of really fucking dumb shit where... it's so stupid I'm not even going to repeat it, where it's like the answer for why we don't do that is because it's obviously a moronically stupid idea on top of being immoral, and also totally ineffective you dipshit

So I already wasn't in the mood for him

Then, while talking about visiting my grandma, I mention how in order to start cooking I need sharp knives, none of my knives are sharp (cause my mom's a fool and dulls them all), and how it would really help if I could just take a knife from my grandma since she doesn't cook anymore and just... keep it as my personal knife that I keep sharp

(I can't do this, cause my grandma is... bug fuck crazy, and legit believes that if you gift someone a knife they'll kill people with it which like... where do you even get that idea, like she has literally said before that she'd give money to buy a knife but wouldn't give one as a gift... what?)

Anyway, Mr Dumbass starts going on about how I can just buy a new knife, and it's like no... in your quest for objective practicality you've lost all pragmatism

I don't need to buy a new knife, I need to learn to sharpen knives which... which I just have a bit of a block on cause I've had trouble figuring out how to sharpen stuff so far (I've come to suspect that which of the hard and soft stones you use first and second isn't intuitive and I've been trying to hone with the sharpening stone and sharpen with the honing stone)

Like... to get mean for just a slight moment, shut your fool mouth, you've got more money than I've ever even touched, and while you were poor at one point when you were younger you've clearly forgot, and not everyone can just buy stuff

Also you're saying a bunch of dumb shit tonight with such confidence and it's pissed me off

He's capable of being a very very smart and compassionate person, and then other times he's a damn fool, and far too often he... he talks about practicality without actually understanding how to be practical

Being practical requires working in the confines of reality

...I don't know, I don't think I have all the words I need to explain what I'm saying, but the point is he's annoyed me and people who act like him annoy me where it's like... nothing matters in the end other than if you actually solve something

You can talk all day about what someone "should do", but what matters is what they will do

So it gets frustrating talking with my family with him cause he has all this ideas where it's like... that functionally won't work, and like some of his great ideas are how I can just wait for my grandma to die and get the knife then and it's like... yeah... but I need a knife now dummy, and I have knives, and which is more useful?

Dropping a pretty penny on a new knife, or finishing learning a skill I really fucking need badly and that makes it so I can sharpen things for next to free forever?

...I'm just tired of having to do everything myself and getting no help, that's all. How about you shut your fucking mouth, stop trying to offer advice that's worse than my plans I'm already slowly turning the gears on making happen, and just let me bitch about my idiot relatives?

Laughing at this fool antics when he chooses to do that, legitimately is more helpful than any attempts to help

#last two paragraphs are things that sadly a lot of people could learn #sometimes you need to shut your mouth and just listen #and this is why I have my no advice without action policy #if the rolls were reversed; I'm not willing to suggest someone buy a knife unless I'm willing to pay for it #most I'll ever do is something like say 'Just wondering if this is something you've already tried' #like know someone who go hacked here; and I just asked if they're running two factor authentication now cause if not it might help #like that's the outside amount of advice I'm willing to offer without action #because it acknowledges that they may have already thought of it; and it more just tries to float an option than it does suggest shit #honestly... I think I'd be less annoyed if it was like 'what about buying a new knife?; rather than 'you should buy a new knife' #advice in the form of a question makes for a dialogue rather than dictation #lets the other person just explain why something won't work if they've already considered it #like in this case... money; way rather just sharpen shit and get to spend money on food instead of a knife #like... this is the crux of what I complain about with my grandma; that groceries are my number one desire with money #are you my grandma? suggesting that I just flippantly spend money once it becomes something you'd want to spend it on? #...and the answer honestly is that yeah that's usually how people are #they can laugh off wasting money on shitty over priced clothes; but when it's what they like spending on that's what everyone should do #...maybe I fail at it; but I try not to do that #try to just be a back up to people and support them in whatever matters to them #and once again; only offer advice when I'm actually willing to do something like drop the money on getting them the thing I think they need #eh... I don't want to share the other dumb shit he was saying cause... dear god #edgy stoned dipshit talk; you know? #framed as actionable policy #good guy; helped me move shit up (I mostly needed a driver) but... utter fucking ass too much of the time #there's reasons we're not closer

[sunsetzer]

Hello I am not dead I've just been sucked irrevocably into Stardew Valley by my friend who bought it for my birthday (and also Christmas, because my birthday is three days after Christmas, which is usually the way presents go for me and I don't mind). I've already put like 42 hours into my little farm in the forest and making friends with the residents and I'm having the most delightful time. Also my friend's boyfriend is purchasing a copy for my girlfriend so we can play together. What really sold her was when I told her we could get gay married in co-op. 10/10

#we cant get married irl but we can be married in stardew #i'll take it #we are both 25 but still live with our parents bc ~broken economy~ #we're also holding hands in the closet currently so #though we arent super subtle and im pretty sure both of our moms know but are being respectful and letting us tell them ourselves #more of my thoughts abt stardew: #i used the character i created for my own story ive been working on since 2016 as my farmer and his name is vincent #so now there are two vincents in pelican town #vincent is friendlier in stardew than he is in my personal canon bc people arent trying to kill him constantly lmao #i fell in love with elliott instantly the second i first spoke to him #vincent also fell in love with him and is going to ask him out lmao #i also really love linus a lot #and shane is painfully relatable #i love everyone except for morris lmao #the man had the audacity to charge me 1000g for taking me five feet into my house after i passed out ON MY OWN PROPERTY #in his very miniscule defense it was winter and it is not safe to pass out in winter #but something tells me that might have happened no matter what season it is #anyway to conclude: stardew is very fun #it's also reminding me of ff6 in some ways #but everything reminds me of ff6 #my post

[orcelito]

There r 28 comment threads on ITNL chapter 16,,,,,

Ykno. My whole "replying to every comment" thing was a whole lot more manageable when I rarely got over 10 comments in a chapter..... no wonder I've been taking forever to reply to all my comments 😭😭😭😭

#speculation nation #itnl shit #this is not a problem! or well it kind of is but it's a problem i enjoy!!!! #just... if i keep getting Lots Of Comments im gonna have to be... more succinct with replies? #i still wanna reply to all comments on recent chapters bc i like encouraging engagement like that #and letting my readers know i appreciate knowing their thoughts #just... it's... a Lot when i try to match every comment for their level of input #replying to all their major points... makes replying to long comments Extra time intensive... #it's hard bc im a pretty longwinded individual #but. it's been Weeks man and i still havent replied to all my comments #life.. and brain matter... have not been mine..... #i'll get there sometime. for now. my brain belongs to the zoo.

[backslashdelta]

Hi! Could you explain your thoughts more on Klaine, I believe you said they’re (your thoughts) are complicated?

Hey anon! I’ll be honest, I don’t want to get too into the specifics, but I can explain my feelings a bit broadly, and hopefully this will answer your question.

I want to start off by saying that Klaine is a very well-developed relationship, especially for Glee, so there is a lot to consider there. I really like their story, I think they’re both interesting as individual characters, and their relationship with each other is also interesting. They’re in my top 3 ships, I’ve written fic and made gifsets about them, I just generally have a lot of love for them.

All that being said, because they have so much development and screen time, that also leaves more opportunities to find problems with their individual characters and their relationship. And I think we all know that the writing on Glee wasn’t always the best, so there were issues there, but there were also issues between Kurt and Blaine just by virtue of them being human and having flaws and those flaws sometimes clashing. That actually makes them more interesting to me, because complex and nuanced characters and relationships just give you so much more to think about, so I’m certainly not saying that I wanted their relationship to be picture perfect, nor am I saying that any relationship should be picture perfect, because everybody is going to have issues sometimes.

However. With Klaine in particular, I personally think that they were different enough to be ultimately incompatible – or at least, not compatible enough to make it worth being with each other. I think the effort they would need to put in to make their relationship work isn’t worth what they’d get out of it after all that time, they would spend most of their time being unhappy, and I don’t think they should have been endgame. And to be clear I think that this is on both sides; it’s no secret that Kurt is my favourite, but I’m not trying to put all the blame on Blaine here, I think there are reasons on both sides that make it ultimately not the best relationship for either of them.

Now, obviously canon disagrees with me, because they got therapy and they grew and learned to be happy together and got married and were having a child together five years later. They love each other and that is, canonically, enough for them to be able to make it work and it’s worth it. I’m not really interested in that argument because this isn’t about what is or isn’t canon, this is about my personal interpretation of and feelings about what’s presented on screen. I’m not here to tell people they’re wrong for thinking Klaine are meant for each other or anything, and like I said earlier, I love the ship, I’m a content creator and Klaine is the focus of a lot of the things I’ve made, so I’m not trying to say they’re a terrible ship. I just have complicated feelings about them because of how much screen time they have and what was shown to us of their relationship, and that’s not something that really becomes and issue for any of my other main ships since they aren’t canon and don’t have anywhere near the amount of screen time.

Another thing I suppose is that in general I’m not a huge fan of the “high school sweethearts” trope. I find it unrealistic. Obviously it does happen sometimes in real life, but I just think it would have been a more interesting story (to me personally, not necessarily objectively) for them to be each others’ first in so many ways, but then as they grow up they aren’t a good match anymore, and they move on to new people who are a good match. But at the same time, I also recognize that this is not real life, it is a television show, and sometimes you want to keep your characters together and have a happy ending, or you just plain don’t want to bring in new characters for something like that, or whatever other million reasons they could have for ending it the way they did. So, again, I’m not trying to tell anybody that I’m correct, it’s just how I personally feel about it.

I just have really strong, really conflicting feelings about them, and if I started getting into all of the details I would never post this answer, and even if I did I’d probably get hate for it and I don’t really want to deal with that. It’s actually the reason I got into fandom; I finished watching Glee, and I was so pissed off about Klaine that I started reading Klaine fanfiction to try to fix the issues that I had with them. And of course that led me to the larger fandom community, and I started writing, and well, here we are. So, maybe that will give you a hint as to just how strong those complicated feelings I have are!

#hiding the rest under a cut because I want to draw as little attention as possible lol #this really is just personal opinion I'm not trying to convince anyone they're wrong I'm just sharing my thoughts because I was asked #and so I'd like to ask that nobody tries to convince ME that I'M wrong either please #this is fiction and we are all entitled to our own interpretations and this is mine #the way I interpret this show brings me a lot of joy and that matters to me more than interpreting it the 'right' way #especially since there is no one true 'right' interpretation #anyway I guess I should tag this #it's not really anti but I would like to be safe so: #anti klaine #normally I would tag something like this with the characters but I don't really want it showing up in either of the tags #and it's not anti either of them it's just saying I don't think they should be together so I don't think it warrants anti character tags #so I guess I'll just not use any character tags. please let me know if you think I should for filtering purposes #glee #ask #mine #anonymous #my opinions #also I turned anons off again because I don't want to deal with potential hate for this even though I think I'm being pretty reasonable #if you genuinely want to have a discussion in good faith you can send me a non-anonymous ask #but I won't be engaging with anyone who is trying to change my mind #simply because I participate in fandom because it brings me joy and that conversation would not #this is a lot of disclaimers I'm sorry #but also when I originally started drafting this answer I had two paragraphs straight of just disclaimers so. I think I did pretty well

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

trying to decide how far to adjust my queue so it doesn’t post too much but will also post a decent amount that it will mostly stay emptied in the future so i stop worrying about the number of posts in it all the time

#me #it's because i want to be able to post pictures and things whenever i feel like it throughout the day #and i don't want my queue to take up my daily post limit #where i set it to a certain amount and then by the end of the day if i'm like 'i feel like posting this picture' #and then tumblr's like 'nah your queue posted too much' #but then i also want it to post at least as many gifsets as i can make in a day #or more because otherwise it'll just stay at the number it's at now #but anyway i have no idea what that is anymore #probably not a whole lot #depending on my mood #since i'm not mass producing gifs anymore right now #i'm just dabbling in it on and off #maybe i'll try stuff out for the next week or so and see how it feels #also changing things up like this feels REFRESHING #there's a part of me that's sad about it but also i need it and it feels good to do #no matter what i do i always end up putting myself in some sort of rut #and i make myself feel like i'm not allowed to leave it #but i've been noticing it more and more and trying to fix it #not just in tumblr but in everything i do #even if i go into it with the thought that i do that to myself and i'm like 'okay i'm not letting it happen this time' #it still happens and i realize later and i'm like #NOT AGAIN #fixing that is a work in progress i guess

[skrunksthatwunk]

playing dmc1 with my earbuds in (but on low volume bc they're being weird) while my roommate and her shitty bf argue. i feel like i'm recreating the very specific experience of some child of divorce out there

#how do i tell her she needs to break up with him immediately. posthaste.fuck it funny post over rant incoming tw emotional abuse i think #nyarla dni #(<- roomie and nyarla have met and i don't wanna air roomie's drama to ppl who know her w/o her consent. anon internet ppl only) #listen i'm normally for gentle advising and that's probably what i'll do since i don't want to stress her out but oh my fucking god what is #his problem. he's constantly putting her in these weird no-win situations where the only right answer is to never be upset or disagree or b #wrong on accident or be misunderstood by him and to tell him everything she's feeling so she's not 'playing mind games' but if she says wha #she's feeling he'll interrogate her and badger her with the same questions over and over again insisting she's unreasonable until she gives #in and says she's sorry with an attitude he likes. i fucking don't like him. and a lot of this is observations from today. the day after sh #GOT INTO A CAR ACCIDENT AND BROKE HER NECK. WHAT THE FUCK. #it's like he expects to be treated like a king on one of the worst days of her life and when she's upset he's like OH. OH I GET IT. #and lectures her on having attitude and taking things out on others when she's literally not even doing that. not to an extent that matters #anyway. like. there's more productive ways of dealing with that. where you don't treat them like a bad kid for getting overwhelmed #he has made her cry multiple times today. i have been around multiple arguments and fights and he's just genuinely. awful i hate him #hell the first argument i overheard *i* was in tears by the end (luckily they left soon after bc i had to run to the basement laundry #dungeon to bawl my eyes out because 1. i can't handle confrontation 2. i've never seen roomie cry and 3. she just seemed so hurt and tired) #anyway he just left again after a fight because. god this is so dumb. she told him to move while they were sleeping in the same twin bed #(remember she's in a neck brace) and he fucking. left the room for an HOUR bc he thought the only thing that could POSSIBLY mean (as he #insisted) was for him to get out of here and then when she was like oh hey i'm sorry i didn't mean it like that he decided to spend the nex #half hour of his short time on this earth chewing her out for not giving him a lengthy explanation while half-asleep as to like. why he #needed to move (she wanted to grab smth) and apparently he sat in the chair by her bed for like 10 mins before leaving so he probably saw #her fall back asleep. and then he got pissy when after he left she didn't pick up her phone when he was calling her? even though he knew sh #was asleep?? she didn't even know he was gone. fucking. i need to get him away from my roomie YESTERDAY #look. miscommunication happens. i'm not saying he's an asshole for wanting things said clearly. i am pro-saying what you mean. #but if every time your gf tells you what she means you make it into a 30 minute lecture (no matter how small the slight and w/o examining i #you're actually right or not) she's not gonna wanna fucking tell you if she doesn't think it's worth the argument. especially if you never #let her rest until she concedes. apology isn't enough. clarification isn't enough. she has to say how wrong she was and beg and GOD. UGHHH #and he's always on about how she hurts his feelings. a gust of wind could hurt his feelings. he's constantly berating her manipulating her #and then he's like >:( see that hurt my feelings you can't hurt ppl's feelings. you're disrespectful. HE"S THE WORST I FUCKING HATE HIM #look sometimes adversity reveals the truth of a person and this just amplified his shittiness so much. mr OH i slept in a HOSPITAL and it #was so bad... you can't be in a bad mood bc i've been doing the bare minimum and you need to prioritize MY feelings rn. also i won't leave

[theambitiouswoman]

Green Flags in Communication 💚💬

"I want to know when I hurt your feelings."

This shows they are willing to understand and acknowledge the impact of their actions.

"I don't want you to feel alone in this."

This shows empathy and indicates that the person is supportive and does not want the person to deal with issues alone.

"I've been struggling with ___”

This demonstrates vulnerability and trust, as the person is open about their struggles.

"How have you been feeling about ___? I know it's been on your mind a lot."

This shows concern for the other person's issues or worries, showing that they are listening and care about what's important to the other person.

"I feel __ when you __; are you open to trying __ next time?"

This is an example of constructive communication.

"What do you need from me when this happens with your family?"

This shows awareness and sensitivity to the persons family dynamics and a willingness to provide support.

"I appreciate when you ___.”

Expressing appreciation is vital for positive reinforcement and acknowledging the efforts and qualities of the other person.

"I didn't handle that well."

This is a sign of self-awareness and accountability, recognizing one's own mistakes and being open to learning and growth.

"I'm sorry, I was wrong to say that. I'll try to be more mindful in the future."

Shows you are able to apologize genuinely and a commitment to improving behavior.

"Tell me more about that; I'm really interested in hearing your perspective."

Indicates a genuine interest in the other person's thoughts and feelings.

"I noticed you seemed a bit off today. Is everything okay?"

It shows you are attentive to the other person's emotional state and a readiness to provide support.

"I'm here for you, no matter what you need."

Offers unconditional support, creating a sense of security in the relationship.

"I love how passionate you are about your hobbies. It's inspiring to see."

Expresses admiration for the other person's interests.

"Let's work on a solution together. What do you think would be fair?"

Focusing on collaboration rather than conflict.

"I trust your judgment on this."

Trust and respect for the other person's decision-making abilities.

"Your happiness is important to me. Let's make sure you're taking time for yourself."

Prioritizes the other person's happiness and emphasizes the importance of self care.

"It's okay to feel that way. Do you want to talk about it more?"

Validates the other person's feelings.

"I appreciate how you handled that situation. You're really good at ___."

Praises specific strengths or skills, boosting the other person's self-esteem.

"I know we disagree, but I respect your point of view."

Acknowledges differences in opinion while still maintaining respect and understanding.

#communication #personal improvement #personal growth #personal development #self help #self awareness #self reflection #self improvement #healthy relationships #relationship advice #relationships #green flags #emotional intelligence #healthy relationship #health and wellness #mental wellness #mental health #level up journey #glow up tips #glow up #positive mindset #growth mindset

[re-ikrmso]

Looking at RPD!Universe again and it’s 4th season. Honestly, for all that Ikari is motivated by, one I don’t talk enough about is...fear. I’ve mentioned a lot of things that’s happened to them that can explain that fear but... wow, they are really, really paranoid and fearful. They’re expecting some kind of retaliation. They fold to having what little control taken away. For all that they can do, they’ve always ben severely outclased in ablilites and control. Almost everything they do is in motivation to SPITE. Because they think they’re always being watched in the remade world.They’d self destruct if it killed Eleven. 

They’d self destruct if it saved them from Eleven.

#i was also thinking about like. thier backstory a bit and them being very influenced by demons? like my og idea is that they have a very #nuetral relation for the ones they work with but like hate god and praying and stuff all on thier own #but it came into my head. cause ikari spends a lot of time around them and was picked up by them when young so like #what if they also taught ikari things? like things that are ingrained into them that them spiraled out of control into ikari's mind? and so #ikari is taught to hate god because he takes away anything that matters and makes the world suck; ikari is taught to hate praying becuase #it supposedly makes ikari helpless and then ikari fixates on that a lot because a lot of the reasoning for what they ingrain into ikari is #that it makes them helpless. it makes them subservient. so ikari fixates on that. which then wouldve tied into the rpd! universe #where ikari continues resisting and being spiteful even when it doesnt benefit them because in thier head #being helpless; coming to a compromise even if it sucked; asking for help when desperate; is failure and they just let whatever theyre facin #but that was just a thought; idk if i'll really put this as thier canon backstory and might just stick to my original thing where ikari just #hates those things on thier own volition #c!ikari #RPD!universe #art #my art

[hypertextdog]

YOU -- mm i want a fat man on me gaystyle but with clothes on

FURRY INCLINATION [Medium: Success] -- Any *animalline traits* to him, two-legs?

SENSATION -- That would do nicely, texturally speaking...

YOU -- not for now, but i'll keep that in mind.

POSTER'S GAMBIT [Easy: Success] -- Yes. YES. It's the perfect emotion. Everyone wants -- even if not that. So generalize, blogsman. Ambiguate. With this, you can finally build your *viral empire.*

BROAD APPEAL [Hard: Success] -- With your crowd: three faves, and a flirtatious re-blog from some fur-fag. Eight if the bitcoinette or the not-lycanthrope touches it...

POSTER'S GAMBIT -- Try again. We're *this* close to another "you have to let 'denny's parking lot at 3am' go."

YOU -- mm i want big men on me gaystyle #gay #mlm #lgbt #asexual

SENSATION [Medium: Success] -- But it's not about "big" -- "big" alone is nothing. Non descript. You crave *plasticity* -- you want to feel him pushing through, between your fingers...

FURRY INCLINATION -- Oh, yes. Sounds *sonft,* two-legs.

SENSATION -- *Really* sonft. If we must say it that way. And so *heavy* on our supine body, too. I almost wonder if we could...

New task: Administer the *auto-hand-job.*

SENSATION -- Yeah.

POSTER'S GAMBIT -- NEVER MIND THEM. Never mind any of that. You're almost there. Keep going, blogsman. *Earn* the U.R.L.

BROAD APPEAL [Hard: Success] -- Thirteen faves, four reblogs. None flirtatious -- none you think.

YOU -- what's missing?

BROAD APPEAL -- What do you think?

YOU [Impossible: Success] -- the *sapphic* factor.

BROAD APPEAL -- Exactly right. I *told* you I'm named this way for a reason...

HIGH SCHOOL G.S.A. -- Do it for Erin. And Michaela. I wonder if they're still...

BROAD INTUITION [Medium: Success] -- They're not.

YOU -- mm i want big men or women on me #lgbt #ambiguously queer

HIGH SCHOOL G.S.A. -- Ah-ah-ah.

BROAD APPEAL -- And about that word "big" ... you know what has to happen.

YOU -- but that's the core of it to me, kind of.

POSTER'S GAMBIT [Easy: Success] -- And to the fur-fag sector.

BROAD APPEAL -- A sector is nothing. We want the *website* in our hands. Even the proponents of Astarion, and the proprietors of "best girls"...

YOU -- Yuck.

BROAD APPEAL -- I know. But they're the only way.

VANITY [Easy: Failure] -- God, we'll be on *Ellen.*

BROAD APPEAL -- Enough of that. She's out.

YOU [Impossible: Success] -- mm i want anything at all #lgbt #ambiguously queer #asexual

POSTER'S GAMBIT -- STOP THERE. YOU'VE FOUND IT, BLOGSMAN. QUICKLY -- BEFORE WE BOTH FORGET -- TYPE IT UP AND POST.

BROAD APPEAL -- The known numbers don't go high enough. You've found a ticket out of here -- out of *Massachusetts.*

SHIVERS -- IN 2027, A METEOR THE SIZE OF A KLEAN KANTEEN WILL LAND IN THE CENTER OF ROXBURY AND LEVEL BOSTON WITH ITS ZETTA-JOULES OF IMPACT ENERGY. TOO SMALL AND TOO QUICK FOR EVEN M.I.T.'S OBSERVATORY-BOYS TO DETECT.

POSTER'S GAMBIT -- More important things than that are happening -- and sooner, too. Type it up, blogsman. This is the easy part...

YOU -- You type: "mm i want anything at all #lgbt #ambiguously queer #asexual."

SENSATION [Hard: Success] -- Stop. Go back. It's dishonest.

BROAD APPEAL -- This was never about you -- you were only ever the basis on which *this* could be constructed. If that...

POSTER'S GAMBIT -- Post it, blogsman. Make the world relate to you.

YOU -- You hit: "post."

YOU -- The progress bar reaches -- reaches -- completes. A green light indicates success.

POSTER'S GAMBIT -- YES. YES... Oh, I suppose we should have waited for *optimum posting hours.* It doesn't matter now. It's done -- and the onslaught faves will begin rolling in catastrophically in three... two...

POSTER'S GAMBIT -- In three... two...

Thought gained: Any day now...

POSTER'S GAMBIT -- Don't worry, blogsman. Just keep checking your phone -- the *wi-fi* here is *bunk,* anyway.

VANITY -- And once it does -- Ellen.

#disco elysium