#I know they're actually trying | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkskinned · 4 months

Text

crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

#spilled ink #writeblr #personal #please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it #i really try not to write so specifically about it #bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child #i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years #i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum #and if u say ur autistic #inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms #please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do #and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find #the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic #someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.

2K notes · View notes

lucabyte · 2 months

Text

Taking pride in One's own appearance.

#you people are becoming my guinea pigs for my finally learning how to communicate information via comics. a thing ive needed to practice at #also BLEGH. YUCK. andrew hussie was right candy makes you sick. this is a little too saccharine for me. yeesh. let me get back to the meat.#isat #isat spoilers #in stars and time #in stars and time spoilers #isat fanart #in stars and time fanart #isat siffrin #isat loop #sifloop #doodlebyte #'let me get back to the meat' i say eyeing something similarly sickly in my sketches. at least it's mildly tormented as a counterbalance...#you people have no idea how much im having to stay my own hand. oh i can draw miserable nudity but the most basic of fluff? visceral #anyway i dont know the logistics of picking up a glass eye or where loop got money (besides pilfering from siffrin) & ive previously drawn #sif with a vague blank middle-grey eye as either being scarred over or a blank occular prosthesis put in quickly at the nearest town #i dont know that they'd have a glass eye during the game but considering prosthesis are reccomended to keep the skull etc from deforming #id imagine it would probably come up postgame as something to do now theyre not on a time limit trying to save the country #plus i assume that having it gouged at by a sadness wasnt exactly a clean wound by any measure #all this to say. idk i just wanted to get some information across in comic form to Test my Abilities #and we're far enough down now to say my absolute most wretchingly sweet fluff headcanon that actually inspired this #which is that i think siffrin gets into the habit of not wearing the eyepatch around loop so they kinda match.#and as a signifier to the other that they're letting their guard down around them. vulnerability etc.#just kinda wearing it around their neck so they don't lose it

899 notes · View notes

taxinealkaloids · 2 years

Photo

i love the tower princes. i love that there’s absolutely no way in hell that this friendship is even remotely good for either of them. love that they assuredly are making each other SO much worse with every second they spend together.

#tlt #the locked tomb #ntn spoilers #my art #anyway ever think about how the empire of the nine houses is pretty much singlehandedly being run by ianthe #and not only are the 2 people who are supposed to outrank her no help at all #they're actually actively detrimental to the empire's functioning as they are both deep in their depression spirals #and won't stop trying to start the apocalypse like they wanna start the apocalypse so BAD!! and ianthe doesn't even want to #be saving the world. girl wants to be villainous. she's stopping the apocalypse with an air of 'UGH i have to do EVERYTHING around here'#you really can't blame her for needing a chew toy. luckily kiriona is right there and she's basically a professional chew toy.#she's used to it. who knows what she'd even do with herself if no one was chomping on her. so it works out!! (not)

9K notes · View notes

ohara-n-brown · 4 months

Text

Am I the only one that feels like NTs HATE saying 'I don't know.'

You will not believe the amount of times I'll ask a basic objective question about a situation and they'll give me an answer, only for later the answer to be completely wrong. And then when I ask them why they would give me wrong information - they say 'I just guessed.'

I didn't ask you for your guess. I asked for the information. If you didn't have the information don't just GUESS. Say 'I don't know.'

I feel like NT don't realize that WRONG information is worse than no information.

If I want to know when an event will end and you say '5pm' - I'm going to be mentally prepared for 5pm. And if it DOESN'T end then, not only will I be out of energy, but I'll be irritated and confused because I'm in an unfamiliar situation with NO INFORMATION

Had you just told me 'I don't know what time it ends' instead of GUESSING 5, then I would've prepared for the worse. But now I have to literally rearrange everything in my head and talk myself down from meltdown cause I was given inaccurate information and also I thought I was going home.

But they act instead like saying I don't know is a moral failure.

My father used to yell at me all the time to not say 'I don't know.'

He'd always demand I figure it out and come up with SOMETHING no matter how uninformed or vague and that's how you have NTs walking around feeling like it's a crime to admit they simply don't know something

and instead they'll just shamble something together and hope that's good enough regardless of whether in the information is actually helpful or correct.

IT'S SO ANNOYING. JUST SAY YOU DON'T KNOW.

Stop guessing and giving me WRONG information because it only makes the situation worse and more confusing. Say you don't KNOW. It's FINE.

#ro rants #neurotypicals communicate clearly challenge #today on: actually NT are the ones with empty and illogical communication patterns #I refuse to believe I'M the disordered one when they're the ones acting on no logic whatsoever #stop trying to protect your ego and just Be Normal and tell me what I need to know #'Autistics are bad at communication cause they're too blunt and rude-'#or maybe.. you just have no idea how to speak clearly #neurodivergent #actually autistic #autism #audhd #neurodivergency #neurodiversity #actually audhd #actually autism #actually adhd #autistic

471 notes · View notes

puppetmaster13u · 7 months

Text

Prompt 81

Danny blinked at the small children Ellie was holding the hand of, looking quite proud of herself. The small children- between ten and twelve so somewhere similar to Ellie’s age- who both practically stank of magic and Gods.

He took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose even as Dan cackled while opening the door more to let them inside. “Alright, what’s your name, kids?”

“B-billy…um, Billy Batson...” “‘m Percy! Percy Jackson.”

“Nice to meet you two- any idea where in your family you have a god or two, because one of you definitely smells like Zeus and I’m pretty sure Poseidon and I am not dealing with either of my half-brothers.”

#prompts #dcxdp #dpxpj #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #billy batson #Danny was adopted by Clockwork who is the origin behind Kronos #Oh they're both orphans? No one to take care of them?#Goddamnit Clockwork you made sure Ellie found them didn't you #Liminals are hidden from monsters thanks to feeling like them & the dead #CW: If they won't take care of their kids then I'll give the lil demigods to my favorite son :)#The JL finding out Billy is a child: You need a guardian- how could we let this happen #Billy: Actually my older sister has looked 12 for the last 100 years and my younger brother looks 20 so that's very human-ist of you #Percy peering out at some camp people who are trying to see if he's home: MA There's some weird ass cats outside!#Percy: Am I allowed to throw the pool at them 'cause they aren't taking no for an answer #Danny teaching the kids how to use powers: Alright and now we're going to your other dad and moms to learn magic #Danny: And how to shoot a gun in Val's case because I will forget gun safety #Everlasting Quartet #Phantastic Four #“Hey Marvel how do you know that info about Dr Fate he looks so pissed??”#“Oh one of my parents know him and they don't get along so now we always take the chance to call him a lil Bitch but politely”#Percy: Billy if you can summon lightning and I can control water can we combine them #Billy: One way to find out- hey Daaaaan #Camp people trying to find Percy: Wtf wtf wtf #The pantheon: WHAT DO YOU MEAN KRONOS HAD ANOTHER CHILD?! WHERE?! HOW!?#Clockwork: Look at my Favorite Child who doesn't Fuck with the Timeline or are Raging Hypocrites & takes care of his kids #Clockwork curled up with Danny & new grandchildren in his chest like a mother crocodile: Everything is as it should be :)#Marvel: Look at my lil brother isn't he adorable he's a year younger than me but takes more after our other mom #Percy: Hi Mr Aquaman I can control water & talk to fish and was wondering if you have any tips #“Marvel we're going to die-” “No we're not lemme call my big brother- if he can destroy the timeline he can fix it” “If he What”

1K notes · View notes

larsnicklas · 2 months

Text

playoff pete mode engaged!

#elias pettersson #vancouver canucks #canucks #nhl #nhledit #hockey #hockeyedit #meg.nucks #meg.gif #meg.all #oh he's in fine form lads #vague contempt in his bearing.... a disdain for silly questions... slight smiles gifted to his audience when he thinks they deserve it....#was going to try to sleep early... obviously failed!!#gifed petey about it. etc.#also i know what you're thinking. megan two of those gifs are the same. actually no they're not. u can tell smile he actually means!!#it's in the eyes. afkldjafjlds #sorry this is long </3 i meant to make three originally and then... kept going......#scp24

212 notes · View notes

scintillyyy · 2 months

Text

can you really talk about tim's tendency to idolize and place dick on a pedestal and his semi-entitlement to understanding dick without also talking about dick's tendency to project his own feelings and insecurities onto tim and also his semi-entitlement to his right to try and micromanage how tim should feel and react about things. i, personally, cannot.

#dick and tim #anyways trust me when i say that none of this is meant in a negative way because this is what i Like about them lmao #forever thinking of the M/F fight where dick expects that tim will go alone with his line of thinking just because he says so #and is shocked when tim doesn't and instead has his own thoughts and feelings abt the matter #and babs has to tell him that tim isn't him & had a fundamentally different experience to him #it's like hmmm very realistic to me #the way they do this to each other in a way that almost is depersonalizing but like isn't actually #it's more just that they understand each other so well most of the time that it's easy to forget that they're their own person #with their own thoughts and feelings #like hm. there is something very realistically siblings about it in that #older siblings do tend to try and dominate the relationship with their thoughts and feelings because #their first memories are of being expected to lead their sibling and the sibling usually comes at a time when the older sib is v possessive #so the older sibling conceives the younger sibling as belonging to them and being kind of a hm extension of them vs their own person #meanwhile the younger sibling has no knowledge of a life where the older sibling doesn't exist #and the younger sibling's experience is that of observation of the older sibling from basically the very first day of life #so the younger sibling will often see and perceive the older sibling in very interesting ways #they're always learning something with thay observation good or bad #and thus probably develop more instrinsic understanding than even the parents do #and conflict comes because each is their own person but it's hard to see them that way sometimes #anyways there's also another thread where for dick it's hard to conceptualize tim's family of origin as real compared to them #but that's like mainly headcanon just know i'm right and it's interesting

211 notes · View notes

ikolit · 3 months

Text

I’m not immune to old married gnomes,,,

288 notes · View notes

solargeist · 1 month

Text

i wanna redesign Watcher Mum chat what do we Think

#BC I DONT KNOW im trying to actually think this time bc the original was random loL #i like the feathers covering most of her face bc it adds the spooky shadow #but grian just sees feathers #and all curent watchers were once players so i wanted her to still look so #seeing her with pupils is so odd. she has eyes adjgkjkadg #i also said awhile back i wanted to do four eyes instead of six bc it adds up with the symbol and wings #probably shouldnt have eyebrows but for drawing sake they're Ther #but thtey would likely be under feathers #my art #sketching #the watchers #i dont like having her skin gray. the original was like. void. with freckles n stuff but. i no longer want this

207 notes · View notes

royalarchivist · 3 months

Text

I say this in the kindest way possible, but I think this style of prose is more appropriate for a personal account rather than an update account. I have no idea who's being talked about half the time. 🥲

[ Tumblr meme via @mikaikaika ]

#QSMP #Philza #Edited #Phil #Let me know if this needs an additional tag #I don't think this necessitates a discourse or neg tag or whatever because I'm being silly but I'm happy to add one if folks need it #I won't post this one on Twitter I don't think because I genuinely don't want to hurt anyone's feelings #but. I feel very strongly about this. It's not helpful #I say this as a fan and as a professional writer (who also worked in the Marketing and Communications field for far too long)#The prose is nice! It's very whimsical and they're having fun! But I don't think it's appropriate for an updates account #I recently turned off notifications for QsmpEN and I'm considering muting them because half the updates just aren't helpful to me #I want to be able to speed read through the update thread I don't want to spend an additional 30 seconds trying to decipher who's who #I don't like posting complaints so I tried to make it a funny complaint #because I do think feedback is good! And I know I'm not the only one who feels this way #but at the same time: these update writers ARE volunteers #(As a side note -- I personally think anyone running a large social media account should be paid)#(I did that for a few years and it was hell. I can't imagine doing that and NOT getting paid for it)#But anyways #They're all volunteers so I don't actually wanna go all pitchforks and torches on them (which I wouldn't do anyways even if they WERE paid)#I'm just venting my frustrations in what is (hopefully) a funny way #but you're welcome to disagree! That's ok too #Portfolio

382 notes · View notes

wwxsflutesolo · 10 months

Text

"Chuuya. Come to your senses. Our fate will not end in a place like this. Because you and I are destined to—"

@/kedreeva// ernest hemingway - the old man and the sea// death cab for cutie - summer years// unknown// unknown// lidia yuknavitch - the chronology of water: a memoir// richard siken - saying your names// taylor swift - gorgeous// unknown// victor hugo - les miserables// jeanette winterson - lighthousekeeping// sylvia Plath - lady lazarus// margaret atwood - power politics// tory adkisson - Anecdote of the Pig//richard siken - planet of love, wishbone// ethel cain - hard times// margaret atwood - variations on the word love

742 notes · View notes

hamofjustice · 11 months

Text

nemona feels like an obscure blorbo instead of the main rival character from the latest pokemon game because to get to her really good content from people who really get it, you first have to wade through the ocean of yandere pervert obsessive stalker annoying punchable bimbo amazon goddess interpretations of...

... a neurodivergent and possibly disabled high schooler who's desperately trying to make any friends or get any support from her rich neglectful family - while everyone in her school is jealous of their own imagined version of a privileged asshole version of her they made up - who deeply and platonically loves and supports the one new kid who agreed to take the time to get to know and respect her and her special interest without having to hold back her true self

unlike her, it's not great!

kinda feels like she has the same problem in our world that she does in hers.

#(except much hornier)#i hate to say it but i think her skin color has something to do with it #nemona pokemon #nemona #pokemon sv #pokemon scarvio #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon #nemonaposting #dog girl and goku memes are fine i guess #i legitimately cannot google her without a video of someone being cruel to her on purpose and making her visibly sad coming up #i don't think people like that really browse these tags but i hope they're not the reason she was not in the dlc footage at all #and thus may never get more screen time to actually be her best friend's 'rival for life' as promised before the 3 year cycle marches on #you know the dlc about nemona's best friend and 'greatest treasure' transferring to a school about the hardcore battles she's dying without #potentially abandoning her and sending her back to almost square one on having a reason to enjoy life #don't get me started yelling about that again #also i didn't mean platonically in a don't ship them kind of way you should absolutely do that if it lines up with your interpretations #i usually do in fact #just trying to emphasize the contrast between canon and fanart here #opinions of her already start off so low faith just because she's from the 10 fps pokemon game and i'll be real i wish she wasn't #i wish she and her friends were somewhere i could trust that they would be treated respectfully by their copyright holders

477 notes · View notes

thebad-lydrawn-sanses · 4 months

Note

If Killer has a stuffed friend, I think all the others should have one too *gifts plushies to all the boys*. I hope these at least help you guys feel better while you recover! :)

Nightmare: …cute.

Horror: ah, thank you Background text: 20% off Background text: hfdjk Background text: please pretend i drew- Background text: -food on the shelves

Dust: snrk… it's baby sized. Cross, amused: you're holding it like a child too. Dust: i'm naming xem Bismuth Technetium Hydrogen Dust's shirt: bone hurting juice Cross's shirt: GAY (in the colors of the aromantic flag)

Cross: !

#nightmare sans #horror sans #dust sans #cross sans #injury #<- they're actually scars but they look like injuries #Nightmare looks bored/upset but he just woke up i swear #lil guy is eepy #Horror on a mission all by himself without telling anyone i'm sure nothing will go wrong :D #Dust and Cross are in Killer's room i just didn't feel like drawing the stupid bed #i can't draw raised eyebrows on Cross anymore because of the giant scar nooo #also can you tell i do NOT know how to draw the bottom half of stuffed animals #i just can not and refuse to try tbh #for the record the plushies that Nightmare and Horror got are the same size #i can't tell if the bone hurting juice shirt is funnier on Cross or Dust #queue

149 notes · View notes

this-is-a-love-story-isnt-it · 6 months

Text

Claudia Black and Ben Browder being captains of their own ship since 1999.

ComicCon 2009 Wintercon 2019 Wintercon 2023

#farscape #john x aeryn #claudia black #ben browder #the show's creator did plan for it to be a love story btwn John x Aeryn #but Ben and Claudia wanted to have as much input as possible to make sure it stayed that way #and the show was very collaborative so they did have a lot of input #and they made a lot of really great acting choices #in 2019 Claudia said there had been a storyline that didn't sit well with either of them #because they felt that John and Aeryn only had their hearts on each other #but it sounds like they were bringing in another woman for John to have a thing with ig #idk if they're talking about Jenavian in LATP #but I know Ben protested against that #but he didn't win that time ugh #the vid from 2019 is mine #sorry for the camera work #i was trying to film with my phone but also making sure I was in the moment #and actually watching the panel with my own eyes and not through my phone screen #so sometimes it went off-center #my gifs #my gifs: farscape

216 notes · View notes

bigkickguy · 6 months

Text

daanmarcoh doodle - they're sleeping in shifts and keeping watch

#daanmarcoh #daarcoh #kickdraw #funger #i just wanted to draw them and try to punch through artblock !#as soon as i have the energy to actually render something and draw a background its so over #the eternal struggle of 'do i use daan's portrait or map sprite for hair color'#really just wanted to draw daan with marcoh's jacket #thought to myself yesterday - 'idk why they aren't as popular' so figured i'd throw some art into the mix again #such good fanfiction coming out for them too #I really want to get back into a drawing stride for them :')#the shirt grab is to make sure he's still there watching - if marcoh turns around or leaves daan would feel it #i feel like they're walking a weird line in my mind #they just met and in some cases all they have is each other - but they dont really know each other in any way #they just have to trust the stranger who didn't kill them immediately won't be worse than the fucked up monsters around them

195 notes · View notes

thelilylav · 2 months

Text

We only see each other at funerals

(On Jason, Thalia, Nico, Bianca, and their parallels/connections)

The Titan's Curse (Rick Riordan), @/anxiousmaya_, Right Now (Gracie Abrams), The Battle of the Labyrinth (Rick Riordan), Joan of Arc (Mary Gordon), The Lost Hero (Rick Riordan), Episodes Toward and Elegy for Halley's Comet (Lindsey Drager), Jason Grace (Riordan Wiki), The Gods Show Up (Michael Kinnucan), The House of Hades (Rick Riordan), What the Living Do (Marie Howe), The House of Hades (Rick Riordan), Planet of Love (Richard Siken), The Blood of Olympus (Rick Riordan), Tangerine (Nolune), The Blood of Olympus (Rick Riordan), The Blood of Olympus (Rick Riordan), I Bet On Losing Dogs (Mitski), The Burning Maze (Rick Riordan), @/abhorarchive (Twitter), The Burning Maze (Rick Riordan), Seventeen (MARINA), The Burning Maze (Rick Riordan), @/rollercoasterwords, The Tyrant's Tomb (Rick Riordan), @/the-overanalyst, Where Things Come Back (John Corey Whaley), Grit (Silas Denver Martin), Softcore (The Neighbourhood), The Tower of Nero (Rick Riordan), Frost (Mitski), @/moonbends, I'm Your Man (Mitski), Sun Bleached Flies (Ethel Cain), The Tower of Nero (Rick Riordan), Three (Sleeping At Last), My Art

#nono you don't understand it's about the siblings #it's about how thalia lost jason once only to get him back and lose him again #it's how jason and bianca both walked into their deaths with their eyes wide open #it's about zeus trying to kill nico and bianca and him doing nothing to stop jason from dying #it's about thalia being in the hunters and nico hating her but he knows how to grieve with that kind of loss #so he'll help her. for jason. for bianca. because no one deserves to mourn a sibling alone #like these four barely interact but they're soooo connected i could go on forever #i'm so sad thalia and nico never actually got a scene together after the burning maze #and ALSO #it's about the fact that reyna is one of the most (if not the most) important people left in their lives #LIKE #do you think thalia found out how close nico and reyna were and started watching her more closely #because every person the two of them have shared has ended up six feet under #so reyna gets annoyed with how protective thalia is but she doesn't stop her bc part of her can tell thalia needs it #and nico constantly checks to make sure reyna's life force is still strong #bc he never wants to be caught off guard by a death again #ok im done now i promise #the trials of apollo #trials of apollo #nico di angelo #reyna ramirez arellano #reyna avila ramirez arellano #web weaving #fanart #my art tag #thalia grace #jason grace #percy jackson #percy jackson fanart #bianca di angelo

120 notes · View notes