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fortunatelyhauntedblackcherry · 3 years

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Moonshine - A Beetlejuice Fanfiction 15

Warning: cussing, some parts are kinda nsft? But no so much so, no probs I think. Slight mention of past trauma.

Ari and Rei was standing before Sofía's door, both kinda annoyed by their big sister's behaviour by now.

- Don't be ridiculous! It's been almost a week! - said Rei and pounded her fist on Sofía's door... again. For the fourth time. - You can't still be mad at us! - no answer came. Rei threw her head back and frowned. - Ugh, Sof, you haven't made anything sweet since monday! If I don't have some cake soon, I might die! Do you want me to die, woman?! - Ari giggled at Rei's sudden selfish outburst. She shood her sister away so she could get to the door.

- Come on, cariña, you love salvaging! And now we can do it in our own home! We don't even have to go out! - said Ari and tapped the door with her fingertips lightly. - Por favor guapa....

- Cut the spanish crap, boo, it won't work! - interrupted Sofi. - You snake-ass bitches shut me up ON PURPOSE, AND you broke the laws of our Sister Code. Which YOU TWO CAME UP WITH, BY THE WAY, BUT IT SEEMS LIKE I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS IT'S FUCKING IMPORTANT!!! - Ari breathed out like a horse and leaned against the wall. She closed her eyes for a second and when she opened them, Beetlejuice was there, right before her face, dangling in the air upside down. He flashed a toothy grin at his favorite breather.

- Hi there! - he said in an aroused tone. Ari sighed and scruffed his hair.

- Hello Bug. - the demon did a little half cartwheel in the air, then put his feet down on the ground. He pointed at Sofía's door with his thumb.

- How's it going with the little Drama Queen? She still won't come down from her tower?

- She can't be real dude. - said Rei with a sigh while rubbing the bridge of her nose.

- Sorry for this taking so long. - commented Ari with a light smile. She then turned towards the door and shouted: - SOMEONE'S PEOPLE SKILLS ARE A BIT RUSTY. - Beej leaned back towards the wall on the opposite side of the hallway. He shrugged with a handsign.

- No probs. - he rubbed his palms together. - This gives me a lot more time to fantasize, cause, hey, let's just look at you pretty girls, being all dolled up for me. - he said as he paced up and down on Ari and Rei. Ari wore a light purple dungaree with little bats all over it, a black cropped tshirt and a sparkly bat-shaped leather choker. Her nails were dark purple on both her toes and her hands. Half of her messy brown hair was let loose, the other half was put in a high ponytail on the top of her head with a black sparkly ribbon. Rei had a cropped, oversized, black Harley Davidson shirt on with a pair of cut-out jeans and black fishnets. Her copper-colored hair was free. They both crossed their arms before their chests and did an annoyed little frown. Beej stepped closer to them, held both their chins and lifted their faces up lightly. He summoned two more hands and with one, he caressed Ari's face, while with the other he pulled a lock of red hair out of Rei's face. - I was feeling a little off today, but you've turned me on again! - he released a kinda animalistic, guttural growl out while he pulled the girls a bit closer to him. Then with a lowered voice, he naughtily giggled. Ari tried so hard to tell herself that his gravelly, kinda smokey voice didn't make her knees tremble, but gosh she couldn't do anything about it. Being turned on by a fuckin corpse was so unnatural and was wrong on so many levels but... Gods what could this voice do with me if he whispered something into my ear while being on top of me. - I can't wait to have my own little private space and beat off to the thought of you, babies. - aaaand that snapped Ari out of fantasizing. She pulled her upper lip.

- Ew. - she commented as she shoved Beetlejuice away. He was laughing so hard his hair lit up. He made his extra hands disappear and stack his tongue out at Ari.

- Ya nasty. - said Rei with a pointing finger held up. Beej stack his tongue out at her too. Ari turned to her sister and shrugged with her hands held up.

- Nah he's just a man. - Beej hissed with his snakelike tongue still out and crossed his arms before his chest. Rei turned to Ari as if she haven't seen the demon at all.

- Is he though? When we last asked he said he has mischief in his pants not... - she held her little finger up and wiggled it. Ari burst out with laughter and had to hold her mouth so she wouldn't spit on her sister. Beej raised an eyebrow and bit his lower lip while smiling. He reached for his belt buckle.

- Well, you can check if you want...

The thing that stopped him from removing his pants was Sofía's shouting from the other side of the door.

- Oh that fuckin demon with the attitude problem is there to help you too?!? - BJ sighed as he started redoing his belt.

- Hey, I only called you a melodramatic bitch yesterday cause you're acting like one! - he shook his index finger towards the door. Then shrugged. - And, by the way, I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

- Plus, he's nice. - commented Ari while looking at the door. Beetlejuice's hair turned into a light pink and neon green mess. He raised his shoulders up to his ears, put his hands in his trousers's pockets, put his weight from one leg to the other and smiled widely. Cute little wrinkles and holes appeared on his chubby face as he did so.

- Awwww, thanks, babes!

- No, he's not! - interrupted Sofi. - You guys forget that even though he does nice things like saving us from burglars and letting us rummage through the stuff in the attic before he makes the stuff we don't need disappear, he's still a demon! A FUCKIN DEMON!!! What if one day he gets bored and hurts us?! - the sisters looked at each other with a certain look. Maybe what she said was somewhat true...

Even though Beetlejuice didn't really understand human emotions yet (Rei told him the other day that it was like living with Sheldon Cooper, even though Beetlejuice didn't have the slightest idea of who that was), he did know what that look meant. The girls had second thoughts. He already realized that Sofía was the most serious one of the sisters, and that she could easily plant ideas into their heads. I can't let her fuck me off by the side of my new BFFFF... I should scare her. That will do the trick. He cleared his throat and held the girls' shoulders. He pulled them away from the door and made a little "I'll handle this" gesture with his hands. He quickly reajusted his thoughts and found his ground, so after a quick second he let a devilish, nasty smile find its way to his face. He stepped closer to the door and held both sides of the doorframe.

- Oh honey, if I wanted to hurt anyone here... - he said in a honeyed tone, then put his head through the door. - ...I would have already done so. - the last part sounded like it came from every possible direction, and had a weird smokey effect to it. His voice also dropped a couple octaves. Ari could hear in his voice that Beetlejuice was flashing an evil smile at her sister.

The girls heard Sofía growl and by the huffing, grab something heavy. Beetlejuice all of a sudden pulled his head out of the door just a nanosecond before something crashed against the door. Beej pulled the side of his lips and closed one of his eyes.

- That was an old camera. - Rei took her glasses off and rubbed her temples.

- Dwight you ignorant slut... - BJ threw his head back and growled. Okay time for Plan B. Being nice. Ew.

- Ugh, it's so tragic that someone this sexy as me has to go through this much to have some little privacy! - he growled then sighed and held the doorframe again. He took a deep breath and put his head through the door again.

- Look, Sofía, honey... No STOP, STOP, PUT THE CHAIR DOWN! - the girls heard Beej stop shouting for a second, then breathe out with a little "whew". - Good girl. Okay, see sweetcheeks, the easiest way to get into the attic without a key is to break the door in. - he said in a legitimately sweet tone. He let go of the doorframe and with a little whirl of a hand, a huge axe appeared in his right hand. He put it through the door. - And I'd gladly give this tiny fella to you so you could let some steam outofya.

Beetlejuice stepped back from the door, axe still in his hand. The door creaked and opened up. Sofía was still holding the door handle, a lock of her fluffy hair dangling before her eyes while the rest was pulled together with a tealblue scrunchie. She had comfy kneehigh jeans and a tealblue top with the picture of a maneating siren on. Her nails were mirrorlike and sharp. She huffed the lock out, then stepped closer to the demon and grabbed the axe out of his hand. He answered with a huge shiteating grin. Since Sofía was way taller than Beetlejuice, she easily rose above him and pushed her index finger into his chest. She wrinkled her brows.

- That's a good idea. But I'm still mad at you. - she turned around and pointed at her sisters. - All 3 of you. - Ari rolled her eyes.

- I'll make you the strawberry dress in lavender. - she said. Sofía let her finger down.

- ...kay I'm not that mad anymore. - Rei growled and rolled her eyes with her head thrown back.

- Sof, bloody hell, why are you the way that you are?

The door to the attic was at the end of the hallway, with a couple stairs leading up to it. Beetlejuice floated through the door, saying he's not comfortable next to Sofía while she's holding an axe so he would wait on the other side of the red door. Rei and Ari stopped a few steps behind Sof as well.

Sofía brandished the axe and cut into the door. The wood cracked and a part of the door broke in. The girl swinged the axe again and again, then looked through the hole she created and she shouted:

- HEEERE'S JOHNNY!

The girls woo-hood and smiled at their sister's horror movie reference. Sofía cut into the door a couple times more, creating a hole big enough for them to go through. She put the axe down and stepped into the attic.

The attic was kind of big, but it was full of boxes and random stuff. The 2 windows on the right side of the room were barely visible by the boxes shoved before them. The walls had wooden paneling on them, but that was barely visible because of the shelves as well. The floor had a couple old, hole filled carpets scattered around. And everything was dusty. Not just simply dusty, everything had at least 10 centimeters of dust on it. Mountains of dirt, one might say.

- Wow, it's like nobody came in here since... I dunno, the 90's. - said Rei as she peaked her head through the door. When all 3 of them were in the room, Beetlejuice put his feet down on the ground and unfolded his hands.

- Welcome to my humble hideaway! - he said dramatically, then clapped over his head and the lights turned up. He took a step towards the girls and with that, his shoes got tangled up in a hole in a carpet and he fell back with a loud thud. His fall filled the air with dust particles. The girls all coughed. Sofía looked at Beej and between two coughs, she said:

- I didn't know a bloody demon could be clumsy too.

- The fuck you mean. - answered BJ, still laying on the floor, looking at the ceiling.

- That you fell over.

- I did not! - he said, holding his middle finger up. - I attacked the floor! - Sofía stepped closer with hands folded across her chest and a disbelieving smile.

- ...backwards? - Beetlejuice thought for a minute then a legit lightbulb appeared above his head for a slight second. He pulled a smug grin, fingergunned and winked at the oldest sister.

- I'm skilled.

Sofía rolled her eyes, waved her hand and stepped aside to take a look inside the nearest box. Ari stepped next to Beej and offered him a hand.

- Come now Mister Skilled, you're dirty enough, you don't need to roll around in the dirt as well. - Beetlejuice grabbed her hand and tilted his head sideways. Then flashed an evil, smutty grin. Uh-oh. Ari knew what that smile meant.

Beetlejuice all of a sudden pulled Ari down. As soon as the girl fell on his chest, the demon quickly turned them around so Ari would be on her back and he could be right on top of her. Beetlejuice pinned Ari's hands to the ground above her head with a hand and with the other, he held her chin playfully. His green hair had some magenta streaks in it. Ari's heart was racing. Her demon buddy was basically lying on her, and the coldness radiating from his body made Ari tingle. Shit, I was fantasizing about this scenario... Oh wow that's a big dick even without an erection... NO ARI THAT'S WRONG. STOP IT. You might be horny, you slut, I get it, we didn't have any proper action in a year or so, but he's your best friend... Your pervy, always horny best friend who literally just told you, 5 minutes ago, that he's gonna jerk off while picturing you naked... But he's still your very dead best friend, which you haven't had in a long time. That's a point you should consider too... But that devilish smile... And his weight, pushing my body down...

- What you say we get you dirty as well, doll? - whispered Beetlejuice in a definitely horny tone. Ari tried to say something but no words came out of her mouth. Beetlejuice let out a guttural, small laugh... and was instantly stopped by a book hitting his head.

Rei had a couple books in her hands, and was ready to throw another at the demon. She had determination in her eyes. Beetlejuice let Ari's hands go and sat back on her belly to stick his tongue out at Rei. Ari saw the opportunity and immediately started tickling BJ's sides. He fell over, laughing his ass off, screaming at Ari to stop 'cause he's ticklish. A couple neon green, glowing tears rolled off his cheeks. He tried to push Ari away, who only got more dedicated to tickling her undead bestie to his second death by seeing the tears and hearing his screams. Rei facepalmed and growled.

- GET A ROOM, YA TWO! - she shouted. Beej was finally able to grab Ari's hands and stop her. He flashed a devilish smile as his hair turned neon green completely and he summoned 2 extra limbs to tickle Ari back. But as soon as he reached for the girl's uncovered sides (her croptop left her sides naked), her eyes flinched and she pulled her legs to her chest. Beetlejuice saw the uncomfortability in her eyes instantly. He quickly let go and jumped to his feet. Even though he was a demon, a kind of pain in the ass, he didn't want to scare Ari. Not like this, at least. A good old jumpscare is fine, but scarring your best friend is a douchebag move. He knew, he was still kinda pissed at his last best friend-o for literally scarring him.

Plus, Rei made him promise that he'll be a nice emotional support demon boy.

- Am I overstepping my boundaries? - Ari kinda shook her head but Beej raised an eyebrow at her. To which Ari sighed. She did the "más o menos" handsign. Beej offered her a hand. - Alright, no belly touching thingie then. Imma keep my hands to myself, sugar. - he pulled Ari to her feet, but before letting her hand go, he pulled her closer with a smutty grin. - At least for now. - Ari playfully scruffed BJ's hair with a giggle and pushed him away.

The weird and unusual group quickly got to work. They made some space on the floor and put several boxes down. Of course, Beetlejuice didn't help (lazy bum), he was just floating around and made quirky and pervy comments. And made the girls laugh. God that made him feel all tingly inside. A couple strikes in his hair even turned orange, he was so proud of himself, because, you know, being scared of is one thing but making someone laugh their asses off is even better.

The girls got little pillows to sit on from the living room. On their way back up their pets accompanied them. As soon as Minerva spotted a box, she ran straight past the demon she hated oh so much and jumped into her new favorite resting place on earth. She got comfortable very quickly and fell asleep while purring loudly. Sirius sniffed around the place. The black dog quickly turned brownish grey as he went through the attic. Rei shook her head and established that during the afternoon Sirius will take a bath, doesn't matter if he'd like that or not. Ari snorted when Beetlejuice flinched and made a disgusted face at the idea of a bath.

As soon as the sisters sat down into a cozy little circle on the floor, BJ snapped, disappeared, then a couple seconds later reappeared with a green puff of smoke next to Ari. He was holding a bunch of sweets and snacks, like gummy worms, Sugus, a bag of Boca Bits, Lay's Gourmets and Reese's packs. He sat down sideways next to his friendo with outstretched legs, then layed down and put his head in Ari's lap.

Ari was always a very touchy-feely, passionate, sentimental person. She never thought much of hugs, kisses, sweet embraces or just genuinely touching someone; these actions felt nice and natural for her. She turned out to be like this because of two reasons: one, she grew up in a household where hugs and words of affection were constant. Two, spaniards are naturally passionate and rather handsy. It's basically embedded in their heritage. Although, as one might guess, for a short period of time she was nothing like this. She got uncomfortable when someone wanted to touch her abdomen or sides while hugging, she couldn't let anyone near her in an intimate way and such tings. She hated that period of time in her life, but she considered herself lucky that she had help when she needed it, and slowly but surely she could return to her old self. She still had some issues, but she was working on them.

So knowing how she was, she didn't think much of BJ snuggling up to her; she already got used to how touch-starved her new undead best friend was. She also noticed that he was basically addicted to body heat. Anytime Ari hugged him - which, he honestly still didn't really understand why she did - at first he was startled, he didn't know what to do, he was just standing in one place and didn't move at all, but as soon as the girl tried to let him go he quickly wrapped a couple arms around her and held her close for long long minutes. He really liked that Ari didn't wear any shoes in the house, so he was even taller than her then normally. This way he could rest his chin upon her head... And smell her. I know. Creepy. Ari didn't notice though. What she did notice was his stench and how he almost choked her to death yesterday when he got too wound up in their hug. I'll make him take a bath even if he kills me, she thought.

She was telling herself that she hugged him so many times because she knew (based on the things that BJ told him about his past and mother already, even though it wasn't much) that he needed comfort and hugging did the thing... But to be honest, she hugged him and let him be all touchy-feely with her because it just felt nice. She didn't feel any discomfort when he touched her. It felt like they've known each other for ages. Plus, he was cute and soft as a plushie. And stinky. Very stinky. She pulled her nose into wrinkles.

- Bug, I adore your charm and everything, but honey if you'd be a fairy, you'd be called Stinkerbelle. - Beetlejuice looked up with glowing eyes. Literally.

- Awww thanks babe! - Ari shook her head.

- That... That was NOT a compliment. That was so not a compliment. - BJ crossed his arms before his chest and threw his stripey, forked tongue out at Ari. Ari clicked her tongue. - Come on, you ARE stinky as hell hombre! You wouldn't die by taking... - Beej stopped Ari by showing a handful of gummy worms into her mouth. She rolled her eyes and wrinkled her forehead angrily at the demon. He just smiled and threw his tongue out again.

Ari, just like her sisters, reached for a box and started going through it. They showed everything they found to each other so they could sort every little thing out: there was an empty box for stuff they needed, there was a dump for stuff they wanted to disappear, and there was an empty box for BJ. Ari reached into the box and shook her head.

- There's only a bunch of unfinished projects in here, guys. Let's see. - she lifted some very thick books out. - Books on computers... - she reached into the box again. - A "spin-your-own-yarn" kit? Home-brewed kombucha?

- Ew that most of the times tastes like an armpit. - commented Rei. Ari put everything that she lifted out on the dump and while reaching into the box again, she looked at her undead pal laying in her lap, shoving Boca Bits into his mouth.

- Tell me Beej, who left all this stuff here? I'm pretty sure it wasn't the previous owners cause, hey, they couldn't climb the stairs. - Beetlejuice shrugged.

- Adam and Babs. - he said with a full mouth. - Owners in the late eighties. Middleclass, suburban and white... A boring but very sexy couple. - Sof chuckled. Beej's bright green hair started turning a little purple. The girls already knew that purple meant sadness. He looked down at his stripey jacket and started playing with his buttons. His face turned all foggy. Literally. Ari stroked his forehead.

- What's the matter B? Did I say something wrong? - he shrugged again.

- Nothing, just... - he turned his head and looked at Rei. He started snapping, like he was trying to say something but didn't find the word. - Sugar, what's that feeling you feel when someone leaves you and you still wish for them to come back cause you... You know... What's that word? - Rei raised her eyebrows.

- Miss them? - Beej pointed at her with enthusiastic eyes and snapped again.

- YES! THAT'S THE ONE! - he looked back up at Ari, still being a little purple. - Yeah, I kinda miss them. They were fun folks... - his eyes wandered to the object Ari was holding. He gasped as his hair turned back to green, like his sadness was blown away by that black and white little object. He quickly snapped the thing out of the girl's hands. - AWWW THAT'S MY UKULELE! - he sat up and hugged the instrument. - I've been looking for this for years! - Sof smiled at the demon's genuinely happy reaction. Maybe he's not as bad as I thought...

- I didn’t know you were such a musical guy. - she said. Beej quickly snapped and reappeared before her. He pinched her cheek.

- Sweetcheeks, I'm the ghost with the most, name one thing I'm not.

- Helpful when it comes to moving boxes. - she said without hesitation. BJ rolled his eyes. Sof pushed him away by his head, which caused the demon to fall back on his backside. He threw his hands up in the air, still holding the ukulele.

- Come on, you can't blame a guy for loving to watch those sweet litle rumps of yours swingin' around! - he said, looked up at Ari and winked.

The next second, he was laying in Ari's lap again. He started tuning the ukulele while humming and gently singing.

- 🎶The Barbara you marriiiiied, she is dead and burieeed six feet below-uow-ouw... Ouw-ouw-ouw~~~🎶

- What's this song? - asked Ari as she put a fancylooking porcelain butterfly aside. Beej shrugged. He didn't even look up from the instrument.

- Oh nothing, just a little somethin'-somethin' that I can't get out of my head. - he played a couple notes on the ukulele, then did a proud little fistbump. - Yessss, works like a new one!

The girls got rid of a couple stuff, they emptied like a box when Rei called out to Beej.

- Hey, scruffyhead, could you play something for us? - an enthusiastic, shy light glistened through the demon's eyes. He tried to cover his happiness with a macho shrug.

- Sure, why not. - he sat up from Ari's lap and positioned himself in criss-cross-applesauce while leaning against Ari's shoulder. - Here goes nothin'. - he cleared his throat and started singing while playing his little instrument. - 🎶You're...🎶 - the girls all got wide-eyed at the clear voice that left the demon's lips. It even sounded somewhat humanlike? - 🎶You're gonna be fiiine... On the other siiiide...🎶 DIE! - he shouted suddenly in his normal, gravelly voice. - YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE! - he pointed at the girls with the neck of his ukulele. Gosh he seemed crazy. - YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE! 🎶I'll...🎶 - he changed back to the sing-song voice again, leaving a comedic impression behind, making Ari and Sofía cackle. - 🎶I'll be your guiiiide... To the other siiiiiide...🎶

- AWMYGOSH YOU HAVE A LITTLE BEERGUT! - interrupted Rei. She cupped her face with her hands, awed at her discovery.

- Wah... - said the demon while pulling one side of his upper lip into a grimace. Rei clapped little claps.

- I knew my eyes weren't lying! You have a dadbod! That's so sweet! Your beergut is so cute! - Beetlejuice quickly stood up with arms crossed before his chest, angry red streaks appearing in his greenish-purpleish hair.

- Shut the fuck up, I don't have a beer gut. - he said and held a finger up at Rei. Ari smiled at how sassy he looked. - I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs. - Ari still smiled but something started bugging her. Her friend kind of looked... Wounded? Self-conscious? - Plus, I look pretty fuckin good for a dead bitch, just so you know. - and with that last sentence it was clear for her. Not just the tone, his hair told on him as well. It had an angry red glow to it, but it was mostly purple and blue, just like his stubble. She guessed it might meant that Rei touched a sensitive subject. The girl tugged on the demon's pants, which made him look down. His eyes told Ari she was right. She flashed a humble smile at the demon.

- You really do, Mr. Devilishly Handsome. - and boom, the red glow disappeared. Beetlejuice looked startled. What did she say?!?, thought BJ.

Ari took a quick glance at her sisters. They knew what that look meant. Time to make someone feel good about themselves. That's what their mothers taught them. Rei blinked at the demon with glistening eyes.

- You look very fine! - Wait what the fuck is happening., thought Beetlejuice again. His hair started to change. It got a lot lighter.

- You really do. - said Sofía without even looking up from the box she was going through. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON SERIOUSLY?!?, thought Beetlejuice, now kinda panicking. A light pink streak appeared in his hair, and his stubble almost entirely turned pink at this point. Ari cleared her throat. Sofía looked up and pointed at the demon with a light sigh. - Look homeboy, I still have second thoughts about you, but it's a fact that you're a fine specimen. And it's coming from a chick who's into girls. - Beetlejuice leaned closer to the oldest sister with a toothy grin. Of course he had to cope with humour.

- Aww so I don't have a chance with ya? - Sofía raised an eyebrow.

- I'll seriously punch you in the face bro. - the demon laughed. Hah, cringey situation avoided.

- Seriously though, we love all body types in this household. - commented Rei. - And yours is very cute and fluffy. - NOPE NOT AVERTED, TIME TO DISAPPEAR, he thought as he started making smoke. - I understand now why Ari hugs you so many times. - that startled him. He looked down on the floor in embarassment, being unable to disappear he was so happy deep down in his little undead heart. He was never genuinely complimented. And these girls made him feel so nice...

- Oh calláte... - said Ari in a tiny voice as she looked down as well. Good thing BJ haven't seen her face was red as a tomato. Rei ponted at BJ with a gasp.

- AWMYGOSH YOUR HAIR! THAT'S SO CUUUUUTE! - Beetlejuice put his hands, all 4 of them on his totally pink hair.

- S...stop... This is so embarrassing! - he cried out. - You make me cringe at this mortal human bullsh... - he couldn't finish the sentence because Ari launched herself at his neck, pulling him down to a tight awkward hug. - Wha... No! - he said in an embarassed tone right after Rei scooted over with a giggle and hugged his knees. - NO STOP! - Sofía scooted over as well and ruffled his hair in a siblinglike way. - STOP! I HATE YOU ALL!!! - he shouted while trying to get away. But there was no escape from the girls' embrace who were all laughing at the suffering, pink demon at this point.

- Shut up, you like it! - said Ari right before she placed a sloppy kiss on the demon's face. He answered only with a shy smile and a certain pink glow to his body hair.

You can't imagine how much I do.

#alex brightman #beetlegeuse #beetlejuice #beetlejuice fanfiction #beetlejuice oc #beetlejuice the musical #fanfic #fanfiction #lawrence beetlejuice shoggoth #musical!beetlejuice #beetlejuice broadway

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jizemderler · 6 years

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It’s my birthday (yayy) and I‘ve decided to post the first chapter to a story I‘ve been writing. If you like it, I‘ll post more. If you don‘t, I‘ll keep writing for myself.

Enjoy!

One Flower: Camila Monroe is a teen. With her own ups and downs. Her loves and heartbreaks. Her lies and truths. Just one...out of a million flowers. But one flower is always someones favourite flower.

{Part One}

You know those movies or stories where the nerdy but hot girl hates that one super hot guy at school who is a football player, because they always are, but suddenly something happens - let’s say a chemistry project has to be done - and they get paired. Bada bing bada bum a bit of flirtation, drama, one problems or two, making up and a happy ever after.

Yeah that’s not my story though. I am the literal incarnation of the side dish. Don’t get me wrong I’m not the main course but people still like me. But on the side. Like the baby sister of that football player. I’m not hot, not in anyway. Not nerdy hot or innocent hot or any-hot. I’m not ugly either…I’m just me. Regular and invisible. And that’s not going to change throughout the story. No big make over where every guy at school falls in love with me. I’m also not really good at anything in particular. Like I don’t have a secret talent or like a sex dungeon and weird fetishes. I’m average, whatever that means, and I’m cool with it. Always was.

And for the record I said I was the baby sister but the omg-he’s-so-cute brother of mine isn’t that much older. He is a senior and I’m a junior. Not that he would have that overprotective brother thing. He doesn’t. Which I’m glad for. Most people don’t even know that we are siblings - or they choose to ignore it- because we don’t look alike (duh) and because we don’t talk to each other at school. He lives in his world and I live in mine. Which is also cool with me. We also have a baby brother who is only 9. My mom and pap always wanted two kids but you know…things happen and so you get a kid 7 years apart from your second one. No biggie.

“Camila!”

And that’s the name of the side dish. Nice to meet you.

“Camila Monroe if you don’t come down right away your brother will leave without you!”

And that…that is the voice of my angry mom and my cue to stop daydreaming. I take my backpack and throw it over my shoulder and push my glasses back before going downstairs.

„Why didn’t you guys give me a second name? Like it doesn’t have the same affect when you call me by my full name. Not as dictator-y as it could be.“ I mock her playfully and she rolls her eyes.

„It’s too early for you to be witty with me. And now go. Oh and he is annoyed already. Be nice to him.” my Mom tells me and I roll my eyes. „I’m always nice. Bye mom.“ I answer and give her a kiss before stepping into my boots and walking outside. „You’re late.” he says as soon as I sit shotgun and I groan. “And you’re an ass.” He frowns and I roll my eyes at his mood. Mom was right. „What? I thought we were pointing out the obvious. Can we go?“ He looks at me, his mouth slightly open -ready to shoot back but then his gaze travels over my shoulder which makes me look too. Oh and then there is Noah. His brown hair is a bunch of curls falling into his face, covering some of his forehead, as if he just came out of the ocean. His eyebrows are currently formed into a frown which I know would go away if I would go over them with my thumb, stroking them slightly. As soon as his melty chocolate brown eyes catch mine I shake my head and look back at Jace. Noah is our neighbors kid. Who also happens to be my ex. Noah and I have been close since kindergarden. We developed feelings over the time and fell for each other. We were great together. He was like me in a sence. He was normal.

But then puberty hit him. Like a truck. And things changed. He changed. And I didn’t. Right next to me is Jock number one and over there staring into the car is Jock number 2. He just grew more popular day by day and I was overwhelmed. And that he was a senior didn’t help my self-confidence either. It’s been almost a year since we broke up. You know how you talk to someone until 4 a.m every single day and suddenly you don’t talkt to them at all anymore? That’s us. "Jace.” I say, no more playfullness in my voice and he understands and starts the engine immediatly. We drive in silence and I jump out of the car as soon as he shuts the engine off. “Wait! Take the keys. I’ll be late today.” he says and throws me the keys over the car and I pick them off the ground.

“Nice.”

“Shut up.”

I turn around at the gate and see him meet up with Noah and I cringe and turn around. They’re friends, share classes and they are in the same team of course they’ll meet up. At least Jace is sensitive enough not to do it in my face. As I walk into class I see the one person I’m comfortable around. “Thank god you’re here. I thought you were skipping and I already was planing on a way out. Probably the window. Two floors shouldn’t be that bad.” she jokes and I roll my eyes “Don’t say that.”

“Sure thing. Oh, look who’s coming.”

I put my stuff down and look up while tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and stop mid movement.

I introduced to you all of the people that matter in my life…everyone besides Ethan. He smiles one of his beautiful smiles towards me and winkes before sitting down infront of me.

“I think he has a cr…” Daya starts but I shush her immediatly. Ethan is the kind of guy who could have anyone but doesn’t notice it. He has those kind hazel eyes and wavy blond-ish hair, always a little messy. He himself is really put together though, in a hot way. His muscels help too of course. Definetly not a Jock but he seems to do some kind of sport.

“Don’t even start with that. We’re good friends.” I whisper over to her and she raises her hands above her head and leans back in her chair. “Hey Daya! Why are your arms up? Want to give me a hug?” some dumbass yells and I roll my eyes again. Here we go.

“Why don’t you go fuck yourself Peter? Since that is the only time you will ever get fu…”

“Good morning people! Alissa put that mirror down you don’t look any different than two minutes ago, Peter wipe that overwhelmed expression off your face we didn’t even start the lesson yet…and Daya! I heared.” Professor Khan said and put his bag down onto his desk. He was this old, slim and tall, indian man with grey hair and a grey beard. You could practically see that he was a heartbreaker in his young days. Maybe even now. I kinda liked him as a teacher because he was always chill.

„Alright class, who’s done their assignment?“

A roar goes through class and everybody starts looking around for someone to know what the assignment was but our confusion is ended with Mr Khans gentle laugh.

„Just kidding. I didn’t give you homework over the weekend because I’m that dope.” he says and adds a handsign in there which makes us all groan and roll our eyes.

„Isn’t that the term? Dope? Or was it Lit? In our time we called us fresh but that’s another story.“ he says and laughs to himself while unpacking his stuff.

„Alright. We will start a discussion.” he says and claps his hands while coming to the front and leaning against his desk. „What does success mean to you?“

I could see people frowning or rolling their eyes and I start scribbling something on the paper in front of me. „Camila?”. Of course. Of course Camila.

„Uh, I mean…everything is based on success these days. You want to be respected and looked up on in school? You got to be successfull. But not too successfull because then you’re a nerd. You want to have it easy with the teacher? Just be great at their subject and everything will be fine. You want to go to a specific college? You got to be successfull in highschool. You want to actually work after college? You got to be one of the best in your classes. You want to keep your job? You better be the best….I guess.“ I finish my ranting and he nods to my answer.

„Yes. Aiden.” Mr. Khan says and dismisses me and I take a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

„You want to talk about something?“ Daya whispers over to me and I raise my eyebrows. „What? Me? No. Why?” I whisper back immediatly and she leans back again. „I don’t know. You seemed…troubled.“

„Nah. I’m fine. Really. Just wanted him to let me off the hook.” I answer and she shruggs her shoulders.

„Okay.“

The discussion continues and I don’t take part in it anymore. Success is overrated anyway. What about hapiness? What if I’m successfull but unhappy? Is success still more important then?

I pack my belongings after the bell rings while everybody starts to storm out. After I’m finished I throw my bag over my shoulder and start walking out too when Mr. Khan holds me up.

„Hey, Camila?”

„Yes, sir?“

„Success isn’t all that bad you know. You just have to get to it in your own way and not how other people want you to.” he says and smiles a little smile and I shrug apologetically.

„Whatever you say Mr.Khan.“ I say before backing away towards the door and saluting playfully as a goodbye which makes him chuckle and shake his head.

I walk out with a grin and forget to look straight ahead and collide with a chest. I grip onto my stuff so nothing slides to the ground and so does the person I collided with, by holding me by my arms. „Sorry.” I say before I look up and meet those brown eyes again. Shit. He let’s go of me like a hot potato and takes a step back.

„Suits you.“ he blurts out and I frown.

„What?”

„The smile. You don’t do it very often anymore.“ he says like in trance and I shift uncomfortably under his gaze. I shake my head and sigh to myself before stepping aside to leave without another word. I’m a lot of things but one thing I’m not is beeing friends with my ex. That doesn’t work. Not even in movies. I walk through the halls towards my next classes trying not to think about his face.

***

After my last class I said my goodbye to Daya and made my way to the parking lot. While pulling out the key I stuffed into the side pocket of my bag I noticed someone in the corner of my eye. „Hey! You need a ride?” I asked before my brain could catch up and Ethan looked up towards me with raised eyebrows.

„Hey! Uh…my mom was going to be here but she got caught up. So actually, yeah. If it’s okay.“ he stumbled over his words and made me laugh.

„Sure thing. Just to warn you though: I may not be the best driver.” I joked while waving him over and we started to walk to my car. „You live near the city park right?“ I ask while getting into the drivers seat and he sits shutgun. „Yeah. But you can drop me of on your way to yours. I‘ll just have to take a right and walk two minutes from there.“ he offers and I shrug my shoulders while starting the engine. I ignore the brown curls while I drive out of the parking lot and concentrate on the road.

„So who else do you have in your classes?“ I ask into the silence and he looks over. „Well we‘ve got English together with Mr.Khan. I love that guy.“ he chuckles and and I smile and nodd so he can continue, „I got Miss Hallow in math and I could die right here right now thinking of that. I feel like she is the evil witch of our school.“

„Yeah I‘m so happy that I don‘t have her this year. She made my life hell last year.“ I say before I recognize what I just said and facepalm myself in my head. He looks at me with a grin and I squint my eyes for a split second before I remember that I‘m the one driving.

„Sorry.“

„It‘s okay. I love hearing you rambling. Sometimes people habe to many filters.“ He says looking out the front window and try not to frown and decipher what he means by that.

„Anyway. I got Mr. Masselin in Biology.“

„Who‘s that? I don‘t recall that name?“ I ask inbetween.

„You know the hot one? Every girl and I think some guys too, is drooling after him.“ he says rolling his eyes and makes me chuckle. „Doesn‘t ring a bell.“ I say and he smiles. „Thank god.“ As soon as he says that his eyes go wide and he looks at me, his cheeks slightly flushed. „I mean, you know. Thank god your not one of the basic ones.“ he drives himself deeper into the mud and makes me laugh.

„Yeah. Never have been.“ I say trying to lift some of the emberrasment off of his shoulders. „Moving on. I have Mrs Khan in chemistry. And let me tell you she is nothing like her husband. That woman is feisty. Not kidding.“ he changes the topic.

„Yeah, I know! Noah used to love messing around with her, just to get on her nerves.“ I say again, my mouth faster than my brain. I start to think if I do have any filter. An awkward silence spreads between us and I repeatedly facepalm myself in my head. I‘m so stupid for bringing him up.

„That‘s the senior right? The Jock? I‘ve seen him woth your brother. They seem to be good friends.“ he says as if we aren‘t talking about my ex and I‘m so gratefull that he is taking it so light heartedly.

„Yeah that one.“ I asnwer and he nods letting go of the subject.

„You see that spot. You can stop right there.“ he says after two minutes more of driving in silence and I pull over. „Thank you for letting me ride along.“ he says with a 1000 watt smile and my heart skipps a beat. „Sure thing.“ I say and return his smile. He takes his bag and gets out of the car. I‘m about to say bye when he turns around. He has this nervous expression on his face and keeps shifting from one leg to the other.

„Uh, I wanted to ask you something? Dou you want to, you know, go out sometime? Maybe for the movies or just dinner. I don‘t know.“ he says nervously and avoids my eyes and I put him out of his misery. „I‘d love to.“

„Really?“ he says surprised and I chuckle.

„Why is that such a shocker to you?“ I tease and his cheeks flush again.

„Uh, no! It‘s not. It‘s great actually. Thank you. I - I‘ll text you when?“ he offers and I nodd with a smile and his heartwarming smile returns to his lips.

„See you.“

„Bye.“ he says and shuts the door and waves while I pull out of my spot and drive away. That was fun.

***

I‘m doing my homework after dinner and jump when I hear a loud thud from the other room where Jace is. I put my pen onto my desk and listen carefully what‘s going on.

„Shit.“

„Fuck.“ I hear him curse and I get up to walk out of my room. I remember my mom saying that he wasn‘t in a good mood and appearently that hadn‘t changed throughout the day. I knock lightly at his door and wait for an answer.

„I‘m fine.“ he says and I roll my eyes.

„I‘m coming in.“ I warn him and open the door. I stay in the door and lean against the doorframe. „Hey.“

„Hey.“ he murmurs and I roll my eyes again. I walk into the room and throw myself beside him onto the bed.

„You good?“

„Yeah.“

„You don’t sound like it.“ I press and he sighs.

„Just let it go?“ he asks and I shrugg my shoulders turning onto my back lying next to him.

„Whenever you‘re ready big bro.“ I say to lighten the mood but I make sure that he doesn‘t miss the sincere undertone.

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othercat2 · 6 years

Note

Hi! So let me start by saying I'm loving your fic! I hope you're still doing request and prompts for it, so, could you write about David's opinion about Karkat before vs his opinion on him after the talk they had over pesterchum about Dave's future? If you someday also write the discussion David had with Dave right before that conversation I would owe you my life.

(Oh sheet I forgot to say WHICH fic I was talking abt in my last ask, sorry about that! I was talking about two for mirth)

TotallyValid Concern

Dave is an okay kid. (Okay he’s in his twenties, butstill. He’s a goddamn kid.) You aren’t at all sure what you expected when you startedtalking to him, and later, met him at the airport for his visit. You’d seen himon TV and online, but TV takes off a few pounds and most of your actualpersonality. (You wish you’d reached out to him sooner.) Dave is smart,apparently shares the family sense of humor and is really, really good at aswordsmanship style that seems vaguely European. (No katanas shitty orotherwise here.)

You were maybe worried the kid would be some kind ofbasket case outside of TV appearances and comments on social media. You’d metrepatriate activists, and while they never went into too much detail, it was alwaysenough to make you uneasy and angry that anyone had gone through the shit theyhad. (It was also pretty shitty they were still going through shit.) But heseems okay, if also really nervous.

It is pretty much not Striderly to take notice of such things,so you spend a lot of time distracting him until he relaxes. He’s impressed byyour penthouse and immediately feels the need to text about it to the Emissary.He laughs about whatever the Emissary texts back and tucks his phone away.

You…really don’t know how you feel about that. It becomespretty clear that Dave likes the Emissary, and frequently texts him, or sendshim pictures. Framing it as some kind of survival thing or something didn’treally work. Dave acted exactly like someone in a relationship, not someonepretending to be in one for their own survival.

There’s a lot of discussion over dinner, the three of youfeeling Dave out, Dave trying to figure you out. He doesn’t talk about Bro,which you aren’t really surprised about. You wouldn’t want to talk about Broeither. He does talk about having been a gladiator, and a little about havingbeen sold to the Grand Highblood. He also gives Hali a little lecture abouttrying to get him in trouble. “It’s not just rude, it can get someone killed,”Dave says. “You don’t set people up like that. If you get caught, everyone’sgoing to be against you, when you could have had allies instead.”

Hali taps his chair leg with his heel. “It’s not like hewould have done anything to you,” he says.

“Yeah but you didn’t know that, did you?” Dave pointsout. “It’s the principle. Karkat’s an Emancipationist so I wasn’t in any dangerbut if I had been, it would have been your fault.”

The conversation goes on to other things, but you can’thelp but thinking about the Emissary. About what the guy was actually like.Dave seemed pretty fond of him, but you weren’t sure you could trust that. DidDave have the frame of reference to know whether someone was “dating material”?Was the Emissary actually as much of an “Emancipationist” as he talked upbeing? (Did it even mean the same thing?)

So you worry. You have completely valid concerns.

Dave talks up how the Emisssary, “Karkat” didn’t want aconcubine. He also talks about “trying to get his seduction on” and some of thetraining he went through. “I really liked the dance lessons. The other classeswere kinda dumb though,” he says, dismissing them. “I ended up meeting a bunch offacilitators and sex workers online, and they liked my dancing, so that waspretty great. I got reblogged a couple times by actinicFlame who’s a well-knowncourtesan who blogs about dancing, mostly.

Mona wants to see the dancing, because she’s a traitor.(Mona: “David, it’s obviously something he’s proud of, and enjoys doing.” You:“It’s some kind of sex thing. I do not want to see my nephew doing some kind ofsex thing.” Mona: “David, it’s clear the dancing is an art thing, not just a‘sex thing’ let him show off.”) You do not want to see the dancing, but areover-ruled by the boys, who are also traitors.

The kid takes it out to the roof. Under Mona’s directionyou and the kids have dragged up a few of the chairs that usually live out bythe pool. Dave performs a dance with a lot of leaps and spins with his sword, asecond slow dance with a lot of posing, and then something he refers to as his“victory dance,” which involves a lot of strutting around and posing andswinging his sword.

You can’t help but be impressed. You think he couldprobably do the dancing professionally, in the UPT. You think he could probablygo to school for it, and make your suggestion for it a few nights later. Hecould probably get into one of the modern dancing troupes, or maybe start atroupe of his own. The kid gives you a skeptical look.

“I didn’t really get an early enough start, Uncle David,”the kid says.

“I don’t necessarily buy that,” you say. “I think youhave the chops to go on and have a really successful career at dancing. I didsome research about schools you could go to, with good dance programs.”

“Karkat already has me enrolled in classes,” Dave says.“Mostly a bunch of literature classes. At school feeding institutes in theEmpire.”

“The ones you talked about him signing you up for out ofthe blue?” You ask. “That you complain about?”

“Like the dance programs you want me to sign up for?”Dave shoots back. “Which are in the UPT, not the Empire, where I actually live.With my master.”

“Is the story about you being rescued by the GrandHighblood and put in the custody of the Emissary not true?” you ask. “I mean,that the concubine thing was completely fake, like the fake married trope?”

“It was a joke, which is different from being fake,” Davesays. “At least as far as I can tell from what the Grand Highblood thinks. Andwhat he thinks is what matters, and what he thinks is that I belong to Karkat.”

“So you belong to Karkat, but you also belong to theGrand Highblood, and you have to put up with what they want,” you say. “Wheredoes what you might want come into play?”

“Well, I want tobe able to fight in the ring, but that’s not going to happen,” Dave says withconsiderable amusement. “And you can’t exactly offer me that.”

“Hey, fencing is a thing,” You say. “Hell, there are allkinds of sword competitions out there. I’m sure we could find you something.The sky’s the limit, kid.”

“I still belong to Karkat,” Dave points out. “Who doesnot live in the UPT.”

“But you don’t have to,” you say. “Even with this GrandHighblood hanging over your head telling you where you have to be, if Karkatcared about you, he’d let you stay here, right?”

“There’s no ‘if,’” the kid says, a little angry, but alsostrangely amused. “I know he cares about me. He’s so careful it’s almost alittle annoying sometimes.”

“Well okay,” you say. “So say I buy you from the GrandHighblood.”

“No,” the kid says.

“What, you don’t think I got the money? I bet I could buyhim out a couple times.”

“Yeah, but then I’d owe you,” the kid says, glaring atme. “And I don’t know what you want.”

“You’re family,kid,” you say, feeling a little frustrated at this point. “I want to know you’resafe. I want to make up for not being around to call CPS on that asshole. Jesuskid, you got raised by my asshole brother and sword and sandal epics I have aconcern!”

The kid flushes red at that. “I’d still owe you, UncleDavid. You can’t just–argh!” His hands go up in the air, form a gesture, adiamond with the first two fingers of either hand. You know that symbol is theone for moirallegiance and “pale” feelings in general. “It’s appreciated UncleDavid, really. Don’t offer to buy me, don’t make an offer to the GrandHighblood for me. It will not go well.”

“Kid–” you start to ask if he is actually in danger buthe shakes his head.

“Nope, look,” he says, lowering his hands. “I can’t giveyou a reassurance you’d actually believe,” he says. “You don’t have anythingthe Highblood would want that would be more than making his moirail happy. Hethinks I can make his moirail happy, and I really care about his moirail. But Ican’t give you a reassurance you’d believe, because you don’t know any of the signs and I keep forgetting.”

“Signs, huh.”

“Codewords and handsigns,” Dave says. “Which I shouldn’tbe telling you about. There’s ones for ‘yes I really am safe,’ and ones for ‘noI am not safe’ and ‘can I trust you’ and things like that.” He gives you asour, irritated look. “And I can’t reassure you, so you need to talk to Karkatyourself.”

“Okay,” you say. “Kid, I really am sorry about Bro. If I’dknown the asshole had somehow reproduced…”

“You cut off contact, right?” Dave says. “How would youhave known?”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have,” you say. Maybe Bro had cared about you in his own way.After all he named his kid after you.

“No, fuck that,” Dave says. “Don’t even think of feelingguilty about it. I would have cut him off eventually if he hadn’t died. I won’tsay it didn’t mess me up as a kid, but as an adult I can say he was a shittycustodian, and the cutting off contact was the only thing you could have done,okay?”

You want to argue that, and you do, a little. But the kidis pretty definite about what he thinks about your guilt. There’s some morearguing about the Grand Highblood, going to school in the UPT and the like, butthe kid eventually argues you into talking to Karkat.

#homestuck #two for mirth #dave strider #alpha dave strider #Iwoorl

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sufferthesea · 7 years

Text

Pink Peonies (Kakashi/Reader) Part 2/5

So there are some really awesome people who asked me to finish this story and it ended up being a lot longer than I intended, but a lot shorter than I expected! Hopefully I did it justice and you guys all like it! (It’s only in so many parts so it’s not one giant post, RIP.)

Also @thefoxthief did some really awesome art of my story?! Which is totally mind-boggling to me. I’m still in awe! And thank you to everyone who left such kind comments, all the Kudos on ao3, and the anons who messaged me! I’m glad to get this finished for you guys! (Also, this is maybe my 2nd non-one shot story that I’ve ever completed? So there’s that.) Also tagging @thetoxicstrawberry bc Berry is awesome.

Let me know if you wanna be tagged in the other parts!

Read part one here: Tumblr // ao3

Read part two on ao3

Words: 2.191

Rating: General

Chapter Summary: Kakashi is a lot more observant than he seems; Sakura and Ino are a lot more determined than they seem; you're a lot more patient than you'd like to be - but, hey, somebody's bound to butt in when you're on a date with the Copy Ninja. Luckily, Kakashi has a plan.

You stood outside of the dango shop, arms crossed, watching the crowd of people pass by lazily in the summer heat. The sun was starting to set, painting the sky in an array of vibrant oranges and deep reds. The sweet smell of rice flour, red bean paste, and green tea surrounded you and your stomach growled loudly. You had half a mind to sneak inside and grab a skewer while you waited. You knew Kakashi had a reputation of being late, but you hadn’t thought he’d be this late, especially since he was the one who set the time! Five more minutes. You’d give him five more minutes …

Your stomach growled even louder this time, drawing the attention of a couple passing by in front of you, and your face burned hot with embarrassment. That was it. You made one last glance around the street before ducking into the shop and sitting at one of the tables. You were going to make yourself comfortable while you waited, since you’d been standing outside for about twenty minutes already. It was a little bit strange to be going on a date with the renowned Leaf Village ninja, but you couldn’t help but feel excited. You’d known the man for about a year and a half now and had apparently impressed him enough - or worn him down enough - that he invited you out for dinner, which surprised you quite a bit. You had only really seen him inside the Hokage office while dropping off reports, or occasionally passed by on the streets. You knew he was the teacher for a genin team, but you had never managed to meet any of his students. But somewhere between handing in reports, accidentally tripping over your own two feet and running headfirst into his back, and once being the judge for a competition between him and Gai, another teacher, he must’ve decided you were worth the time and effort to go on a date. Of course, he never said it was a date, but the fact that he asked you out for dinner to a new restaurant seemed pretty date-ish to you. However, you weren’t going to get your hopes up too much, just in case … Kakashi was hard to read and often his own strangely charming personality came across as flirtatious. But, there was one good thing that could come out of your non-date, whether Kakashi was late or not. You’d finally get to see it - one of the most well-kept secrets in all of Konoha: Hatake Kakashi’s face. Not that was an ulterior motive of yours; it was just a possible perk! “Don’t look now,” came Kakashi’s calm voice behind you, “but we’re being followed.”

Nearly jumping out of your skin, you turned to look over your shoulder. “Huh?” Kakashi sighed heavily. “I said don’t look.” He stood outside of the dango shop, leaning against the wall where you’d been waiting only moments before. “Who’s following us? How - How do they even know about us?” You didn’t mean for it to sound so relationship-y, but Kakashi didn’t seem to notice. “Just a few genin. I have an idea of who it is, and I think I know why they’re following me. You should use a transformation jutsu while you’re in there, and we’ll go separate ways.” “Huh? That doesn’t sound like dinner to me! It sounds like a whole lot of work. Are you just trying to lose me?” “No, of course not. But I didn’t think you’d want our first date to be marred by some curious 12 year-olds.” Your heart involuntarily skipped a beat and your face warmed. Did he just say ‘date’!? “Uh - oh, right, right. Sure thing.” You stood up, trying to think of who to to transform into. You had no idea what Kakashi was planning, but you figured any transformation should do. You settled on one of the civilians you had seen pass by the dango shop earlier while you waited; it was inconspicuous enough, and certainly not a face that would draw a lot of attention. Quickly forming the handsigns, you were engulfed in a cloud of smoke and emerged as a rather plain-looking civilian. Dressed in a pale green yukata and bamboo sandals with your hair hanging down around your ears to frame your face, you stepped outside of the dango shop and looked to Kakashi. “What’s your plan?” you asked, looking the opposite direction so it didn’t appear as if you two were associating. “I don’t know. I figured I’d run ‘em around town a little bit. See if I can wear them out before we go out to dinner.” “Ugh. If I knew this would involve work, I would’ve —” “Would’ve what? Canceled? That’s harsh.” You turned to protest but Kakashi’s one visible eye was closed and you could tell he was teasing you. Huffing, you crossed your arms and surveyed the street. “Actually, I was going to say that I would’ve eaten first. And I was about to when you showed up. Anyway … what do these genin look like?” “About yea tall,” Kakashi said, hovering his hand just above his waist. “It’s two girls - Yamanaka Ino and Haruno Sakura. The latter is my student. The former is her, er - well, her rival, I guess you’d say.” “What are they doing, both stalking us?” “I’m assuming trying to figure out who these are for.” You turned and finally noticed the bouquet of soft pink flowers Kakashi held in his arms. Your stomach flipped and you couldn’t help but smile wide. “Are - Are those for me?” “Huh? Oh - good idea. Here, you take half and I’ll take half.” “What?” Kakashi unwrapped the flowers, handed three of them to you and discarded the brown paper in a nearby bin. “Okay, so here’s what we’re going to do.”

Sakura and Ino hurried down the crowded street, frantically looking into the open doors of every building and scanning the crowds, trying to find Kakashi.

“Is he always this hard to find?” Ino asked as she stopped in the middle of the street, a few beads of sweat already forming along her temple. “At this rate, we’ll never figure out who those flowers are for! Ugh. Just great.” She turned on Sakura and jabbed her index finger at her. “He’s your teacher - so where would he go?” “Don’t you get it?” Sakura barked, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. “I already told you that Sasuke, Naruto and I have tried to tail him before. It’s really hard! But we’ve just got to try harder. Can’t you use your mind transfer jutsu or something to find him?” “You obviously don’t understand how that jutsu works. Of course you don’t - you’re not skilled enough to use it! I have to have a clear target and they can’t be moving. So - no, I can’t use it.” “Well what good is it then?” “Hey, don’t insult my jutsu! What can you do? Last I checked, you were pretty awful at any ninjutsu and you’re too weak for taijutsu!” Sakura balled her hands into tight fists and her face turned bright red with rage. “You have no right to say that! I’ve come so far from where I used to be! And I’m getting stronger every day! I actually train, you know! And I have great teammates to train with! All you’ve got is a shirker and someone who spends his whole day eating!” “You can’t talk bad about my teammates like that! Only I can! Shikamaru and Choji are awesome - you only think you’re so good because you’ve got Sasuke on your team - which was only because they try to even out the skills on the team. You got paired with such a great guy because you have Naruto, the knuckleheaded ninja!” “If I can’t talk bad about your teammates then you can’t talk bad about mine!” “Hey - what are you two fighting about now?” Sakura and Ino whipped around to see Kiba strolling down the street, Akamaru plopped on top of his head. He picked up a piece of takoyaki from the paper bowl he held and raised it above his head. Akamaru grabbed it and eagerly chewed on it, spraying bits of dough and slobber across Kiba’s hoodie, and barked in appreciation. “Is it about Sasuke?” Kiba asked, his face contorting from concern to resignation. “Figures. You two only fight about Sasuke. What’s so great about him?” “Actually, we were —” Sakura stopped herself when she realized she couldn’t just go around telling everybody about her and Ino’s mission. She threw a glance to the blonde next to her, gave a subtle nod, and said, “We weren’t fighting. We were … debating! About where to eat. We heard there’s a new restaurant in town and we wanted to check it out.” “But we couldn’t remember where it was,” Ino added. Kiba turned slowly to stare at the large banners lining the street, decorated with vibrant kanji that said, GRAND OPENING! Botan Restaurant - THIS WAY! A fat arrow pointed in the way of the restaurant. “Can’t find it, huh?” he asked, shifting his gaze back to the girls. They both laughed nervously and threw their hands to their faces. “Oh - well, would you look at that?” Sakura said quickly, “It was right there in front of us! Jeez, no wonder Kakashi-sensei tells us we need to work on our observation skills! Aha ha ha ha!” “Yeah, if it was an enemy it would’ve struck us!” Ino forced a giggle, although she was mentally screaming. Now she looked like a fool with absolute zero ninja skills. “Thanks, Kiba!” “Uh huh … Come on, Akamaru. Let’s go get some dumplings before they close.” The young ninja started off down the street, easily merging with another group of villagers. “Great, now what do we do?” Ino huffed, turning to look at Sakura. “If we got the attention of Kiba, then we’ve probably scared off Kakashi-sensei, right? He’s probably not even on this street anymore.” “You’re right,” Sakura sighed, looking forlornly at the villagers. “We’ll never find him like this. Wait!” She grabbed Ino by the shoulders and shook her. “I know what we can do! We can get Akamaru to sniff out Kakashi-sensei! We’ll be sure to find him that way!” “Okay, but why would Kiba just let us use Akamaru? He’ll want to know what we’re doing.” “Just tell him we’re looking for something you lost - like a ring or something!” “Okay, but Akamaru will have to know he’s sniffing out your teacher!” Ino growled, prying Sakura’s hands off of her. “Either we let Kiba know or we don’t do it at all. He won’t part with Akamaru - and that dumb dog won’t listen to us.” “Okay … We’ll just make sure Kiba doesn’t tell anyone. Or!” Sakura’s eyes widened and a large grin spread across her ruddy face. “We’ll have Akamaru sniff out the peonies! He can do that, right?” “Why would I know?” Ino looked back through the crowds to see Akamaru bouncing above the sea of heads. “I guess that could work. But why would he want to track peonies —” “I don’t care! Make up something! Say somebody stole them without paying! Come on, we gotta catch ‘em before we lose them too!” Sakura grabbed Ino by the elbow and ran down the street after the boy and his dog.

You were pretty sure Kakashi had just ditched you. That, or this was an elaborate roleplay to see if you were worthy of the date in the first place. He’d just assigned you the task of getting rid of the genin that were following you. Or rather, following him. As far as you were concerned, the two girls didn’t know about you - and they certainly didn’t know you were on a date.

It’s okay, you thought to yourself as you walked down the street, three peonies in your trembling hands. I can call it that. HE called it that. A date. Except … we’re not on the date now. Whatever. It doesn’t matter. I’m going to lose these girls and then I’m going to get dinner with Kakashi! You and Kakashi had parted ways a few streets back, and you had yet to see these two supposed stalkers. Kakashi couldn’t even point them out to you. “Well, they’re not here,” he had mused, still lounging against the dango shop wall. “But they’re trying to find me. I could easily give them the slip, but where’s the fun in that? Besides, it’ll help them to develop some necessary shinobi skills. Plus, I can work up an appetite.” “I already have,” you had muttered, but didn’t receive a response. At least he had given you a brief description of both girls and you figured they’d be pretty easy to spot - especially since Kakashi said they often couldn’t go more than fifteen minutes without breaking out into an argument. It seemed like you’d be able to see (that was, hear) them coming from a mile away. “Now,” you said, taking one of the peonies and twirling it between your fingers. “I just gotta get rid of these. So much for flowers on our first date. Oh well.”

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ex-empire-adventures · 7 years

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What are you doing in my house

Rome has broken into Emil’s house for some reason... (rp with @ask-the-icelandic-little)

What are you doing in my house?

---------- The sudden question startled Rome and he nearly hit his head to the cupboard door. “I was…” He needed a moment to find the right words, english ones. “Well you know…” It didn’t help he was a little drunk, nothing worth mentioning ofcourse. “Hmn…” He sighed. What was he doing in this house again? “Oh yes I remember! I cut myself see when I climbed this stupid fence… because of the dogs chasing me…” he took a deep breath “Sooo, I’m going to need some bandages. No need to stay up for me.” He opened the fridge to continue his search.

---------- He raised his eyebrows slightly, but just sighed after hearing him, and sighed louder when he watched him. “You do know that bandages are not kept in a fridge, right?” He shook his head and showed to the couch. “Sit down, I will get them for you.”

---------- “Right, I knew that!..” steel closets are fridges, check! He sat down and looked around carefull not to bleed on anything. “You’ve got a nice house”

---------- He chuckled lightly as he got the bandages and walked back. “That are just these four rooms though, just a small apartment. Thanks though.” He sat beside him and rolled the bandages out, looking to Romulus to see where the wound was in the first place.

---------- “Ah, but you don’t need a lot of space when you don’t have a wife! Don’t ever get married. They have a way to re-order everything and you’ll never find any of your things ever again. They need to know where you are and what you’re doing and where you are going and for how long and with who… pffff” Romulus showed his hand that got cut, or rather pierced pretty bad “Don’t bother stitching it I’m sure it will be just fine for now. At least that dog didn’t got me XD”

---------- He laughed ironically as he carefully patched up the wound, looking out that he wouldnt hurt the other. “Thanks for the hint, but I dont think anyone would want to marry me in the first place. So dont worry, I dont think I will ever have that issue. I didnt had a roomate ever either, so…” He looks at the wound, but since the other said he wouldnt need to bother with stitching, he instead just hummed “Nadel and Faden” to himself. “If it would have been a dogbite, it would have been more difficult. We would need to disinfect it, then stitch it up, then bandage it. For now it should be okay though, I guess.”

---------- Rome fell silent for a while. “Are you lonely? I mean there’s nothing wrong being by yourself but being lonely can get under your skin and suck the life out of you. You are a handsome young man and really caring too! Most would have kicked me out, you know? Do you know there’s lots of girls out there who are dreaming to meet a guy like you! You are not shy are you?”

---------- He smiled lightly at the others worried voice, blushed slightly though when he was suddenly complimented. “I am… Just not really used to people. Not shy… Anyways, I am used to being alone, so its fine. And… I mean, I like girls too, but…” He slowly started to stutter, he didnt knew how to talk about such things, and much less how to talk with a completly stranger about such things.

---------- “HA HA Ha!!!” Rome started laughing really loud at Ice’s stuttering. “So you like men better, good for you! Ah man, I should have got me a boyfriend when I was young. Most my bosses did. I never had the time. Sure you can have sex at every streetcorner but that’s not the same, right? You want the full package deal i bet! Waiting for the right one are you?” he pat the other on his shoulder “Don’t wait forever, go out and get him instead” Romulus smirked at him

---------- He blushed bright at the others bluntness and looked embarrassed to the ground. Though the others open talk and friendly tone made him feel better, not as uncomfortable as he would have usually been. He even smiled lightly as he responded. “Well, yeah, sort of. It would be nice to have someone by your side who stays with you. Though… I wouldnt really know where to search. The places that I know here arent the best searching material.” He chuckled lightly and looked up to him again. “And who knows, its never too late. You seem really nice too, I dont think it would be difficult for you to find someone!”

---------- “Oh no, never go for locals, that’s boring! Broaden your horizon!… Oh I… well finding someone fitting for me could proof to be more difficult than it would seem at first sight, I suppose.” Rome looked at his hand, clearly the other had done this before. “Thank you. Ah, I must have lost my manners somewhere” He grinned, as he stuck out his hand “People call me Romulus.”

---------- “Well, it isnt easy to get away here, but I will try.” He smiled slightly in a try to cheer the other up. “And if you need to, I can always help. I may not be the best, but I could try.” He lightly grinned back at the other as he also reached out to shake his hand. “Name is Emil, nice to meet you. Even though that is a rather… unique way to meet someone for the first time.”

---------- "IT IS! Ha ha. I don't break into peoples houses on a daily basis, heh?! But it could be worse. We could have met on the battlefield or at a slavemarket or even a circus..." Rome stopped talking as if he remembered something. "That is kind of you. But I really do think it's not for me. Truth be told I don't think i'll ever get over my first crush, see?" He stood up a little out balanced.

---------- “It would have actually been nice to meet at a circus. I always wanted to join the circus when I was a kid…” He thoughtout loud to himself, smiling lightly as he guessed the other things had just been a joke. He looked just the slightest bit gloomy when he listened to the rest he had to say. “Thats alright. I sort of know that feel… In any case. If you need any help, now you know where to find me.” He smirked slightly. “That counts for every issue by the way. If you ever run into another fence again, as example.”

---------- He thanked again “Actually if you can give me directions to a taverne cause I’m not half as drunk as I should be on a friday night and I’ll be needing a bed also.”

---------- He slightly raised his eyebrows, then shrugged. “I have some drinks if thats all. Amaretto is pretty good, or licorice liquor. And I am pretty sure you cant sleep in any bar close by here, except you maybe know the bartender. Which I doubt though, since you ask.” You thought for a moment. “Wanna stay here? I mean I dont have anything better to do and its kinda nice to have someone around.”

---------- "Are you serious?! I snore pretty loud, HA HA HA!!!" Rome was really happy by the turn of events. "I don't know anything about this country. I just got here. Im glad you speak english because I don't speak that many lanquages really."

---------- “I only speak three languages, got here around two years ago though, so I guess its rather lucky. Or else I would have amde weird handsigns or asked google translate. And its fine, I mean its already loud outside around here, so I am used to sleeping with noise in the background.” He shrugged. “I dont mind, really.”

---------- “Great! Then you got yourself a roommate for tonight. I can tell you some epic stories from way back. Oh and I’ll teach you some drinking songs! I know lot’s! Let me get my bag I left it outside” he run off to the bathroom and climbed out the window. Appearantly that’s also how he came in. He returned with a ikea bag that seemed heavy but it didnt bother him. “There, id hate it if it starts raining and it gets all wet see?”

---------- He just looked briefly over the game, and then decided that is just how the other was. The words, the armor in the bag, the way he had come into the house, it probably made perfect sense for him. So why bother to worry? “It doesnt rain that often here, but just put the bag behind the couch. Should be okay there. And I really should learn some drinking songs, I never listen to enough music anyways. I havent heard a good story in a while either!” He almost was exited. Maybe it was his strong desire to just talk to someone nice again and be not completly alone as he had been in weeks. Maybe it was boredom. However, he seemed to like his new short term roommate.

---------- “Alright have you got some small glasses? Anything will do really. Shells are also good. The point is you drink after the ehh… What’s the word… when the song repeats? Anyway, the song gets better as you go! HAHAHA!!!” Rome kicked out his shoes, he wasnt wearing socks. “They look pretty but you can’t wiggle your toes that much. Im not used to them. Same for these skinny jeans. Whoever invented those should be hanged with one… Don’t give me that look I know Im old fashioned. You’ll be having trouble adjusting accordingly when you are ancient like me”

---------- “It’s fine, I prefer jogging pants and such too. Jeans can be pretty uncomfortable.” He shrugged. “And you don’t look ancient. Mid 40 at best, that’s not ancient at all!” He smiled lightly to him, before getting a bottle of alcohol and two glasses. “Do you mean when the refrain repeats?”

---------- Romulus giggled “flattering will get you nowhere.” he filled the shots. “the refrain, yes i guess that’s it! So, i’ll start with this one. It’s pretty old it’s latin but the words are easy so don’t worry” he started singing.

---------- “Hey, I can try!” He smiled, then thought for a moment. “Just like I once tried learning latin a bit.” He chuckled slightly embarrassed. “Was kicked out after half a year. I wasnt good with languages when I was a kid.” He just chuckled and listened at first, soon trying his best to join.

---------- “Hey, you’re doing great! Your pronounciation is a little off but you’ve got a beautifull voice. You should train it so you can reach more… This drink is really sweet, i like it!” Rome was really to get tipsy now and it was showing. “… Uhh yes… Where were we?… A song to my new friend and a drink on your health!”

---------- He clincked glasses with him before drinking again himself, slowly getting more comfortable with the singing, though not much better. “A drink to both our health!” He joined with a slight smile in the others speech pattern.

---------- “Oh,… This one is empty. How unfortunate they should make bigger ones” Rome put the bottle on the table. “Why is it there still aint wine coming out of tubs? Mankind have invented so many things. We have candycrush but we can’t have running wine, it’s a pity!” He took another bottle and pulled the other with him down on the couch. He had trouble opening the next drink so handed it over.

---------- He fell comfortably into the cushions, and, while he figured out through his slightly clouded mind how to open the bottle himself, answered his question. “Well, we do have hot chocolate out of fountains. I haven’t ever seen one, but there is probably something like that with wine too, though I think that would be something extra fancy.” To let the “fancy” stick out he flipped his hair to demonstrate. “For things like charity parties or marriages for the richest of rich I’d guess. We normal folks”, he handed over the open bottle, “Need to manage with this.”

---------- Rome giggled and lazily run his fingers over the others hair. “You got such beautifull smooth hair ever thought about growing it out?” He flustered suddenly realising he shouldnt have done that and looked away changing the subject. “I used to be rich. I gave it all away. I thought power and wealth was something that stayed forever. But at some point I realised I felt dead inside. Im a selfmade man, only fitting I got rid of it myself also. Well sort of anyway. The boys who took over changed everything and i suppose that’s a good thing.”

---------- He got quiet for a moment, just listening to the other calmly. He thought for a while about what he said, and nodded. “Seems like we both didnt have it easy, even if in different ways. I never had much, and at some point, I was willing to do everything to be able to call at least something my own. No matter if things or relationships. If I needed to be someone else so I wouldnt be completly alone or have at least something around me, I could deal with it.” He stayed quiet for a short moment. “I guess I still do that sometimes.” He looked at him, a bit curious. “Did you ever moved on from that?” He paused for a moment, not sure if he should have asked that. “Uhm… Just ignore that. Yeah, maybe I should grow my hair out, that sounds pretty nice actually.” He smiled lightly to him, hopingit would make the mood a bit less awkward.

---------- Rome returned a boyish smile “Ah I always wanted to grow my hair out when I was young because of my friends see. But I couldn’t… cause of the military? And I suppose it wouldn’t look nice on me anyway because I got thick curly hair it’s a curse… Uh oh, no it’s ok. Yes, I think I did move on. In this sense that when I was still working I was travelling abroad a great deal for my boss. And I made a lot of friends but my boss would always screw them over at some point and I’m looking like a complete dick. It didn’t really came as a surprise even my best friend wanted to stab me. So well… Not being able to do the things you like and having to fuck people over you like sucks the life out of you. That’s what I mean by feeling dead inside. Getting stabbed was an eye opener to me, I suppose. Everything just tumbled down from there and I… retired…. Are you still following me, because I’m a little drunk. Anyway so now I’m not bound by all that anymore and I hope to make some new friends now. And maybe try to restore some of the bitter old ones. If they’ll have me I don’t know.”

---------- “I can follow.” Emil stayed silent for a while, not really knowing how to respond. He couldnt completly understand the situation, not knowing what job this guy could have done that would have made him to such things. Maybe a retired criminal? Well, Emil thought he shouldnt just. HIs vest sure wasnt white either. “I am sure you can explain it to them in some way… It doesnt seem likeit was your fault in the first place.” He thought for a moment again, not really being good at such things. “If it cheers you up, you can see me as a new friend.” He gave him a light smile, hoping that wouldnt come off as insensitive. “And I think you wouldnt look bad with longer hair. Maybe not like, going to the ellbows, but a short ponytail could suit you. I could see that.”

---------- “You really think so?!” Rome was tearing up. He combed his curls out of his face and back trying to imaging having a manbun “Id love to be friends with you. But you must promiss me to be yourself to me. I’ll help you to get your life back on track, i promiss. I don’t want you to go hungry ever again.”

---------- Emil looked slightly panicked and quickly got out a handkerchief, holding it to him. “Yes, I think so! If they see you as sincere as you are now it will all be okay! Please don’t cry!” He awkwardly patted his head, just knowing that usually cheered him up a bit. “And I promise, I will do my best to be myself!” Despite his irritation at seeing the other cry, he couldn’t help but still smile at his words. “Thank you. I really appreciate the help.”

---------- “If you say so… I’ll try…” He wiped away his tears seeing it made Emil uncomfortable. “sorry, it’s been a rough week really. Working late and never knowing where i’ll sleep next. That’s why i travel light, see?”

---------- “Its alright… Sorry for commanding you…” He calmed down a bit again, taking a deep breath. He took a look to the others bag, and couldnt help but smile ironically. “I would call that traveling light though, it looks like anything but light.” He slighty patted his back, trying to cheer him up a bit again. “And if you like, you can stay here for a few days without issue. I am often out anyways, and you seem to be alright. I mean… There really isnt anything to rob here in the first place…”

---------- Rome started laughing “Robbing you? HA HA HA. There is just that much you can take with you on board. And theyll nitpick over everything, they even took my shampoo and sword at the airport.” he looked at his back “Im attached to that old stuff, they don’t make them the way they used to. But because i can’t pack that much I need to rent clothes for work to look a bit professional. What do you do if I may ask?”

---------- “I will take tour word for that then.” He smiled lightly and thought for a moment. “And I think you can carry sharp objects… like… swords? Anyways. I think you can carry then with you if you keep them seperate. As long as you don’t bring them on the plane personally it should be alright.” He shrugged. “Not sure, haven’t travelled in years. And I understand that attachment.” He wanted to make another comment, then got quiet for a while at the others last question. “Well… As for my work, I look the most professional if I wear nothing, at least most of the time.” He sighed before he answered. “I sell my body, to say it like that. And if I find someone serious my work is being a sugar baby, then more often selling simply my company…” He fidgeted around with the keychain, wanting to be honest, but obviously a bit uncomfortable with that theme.

---------- “Ah, I see…” Romulus said as he filled both their glasses again. Pity to let it go to waste, right? “So we’re both the biz, then? Man Id do the fucking for free, but Im basically a professional dad, Ha Ha! You wont believe how many lonely stewardesses are out there. They just want to talk about their day. Once they open up to me they talk all night long and I charge by the hour.” he shakes his head “The hard part is not to fall asleep”

---------- At first he was surprised that the other took it so easily, but when he listened he couldn’t help but chuckle. “Need to admit, can’t really blame them. You are easy to talk to, and pretty nice on top! And if you feel like nobody will listen to you, I probably wouldn’t mind either if it costs.” He shrugged and leaned back on the couch, taking another sip of the alcohol, and showing a light grin. “So, a sweet, professional dad? A true "sugar daddy”, how convenient for me!“ He giggled lightlt at his own pun.

---------- "The joke’s on you, you owe me 200,-” Rome joked “In different times I’d bought you a villa, now I’m pretty much broke. Im saving some money because Id like to get a degree to be a teacher. But I need to learn how to work with the computer first. I just want to spoil the kids rotten.” Rome couldnt resist to show pictures “This is my youngest, isnt he cute! I haven’t got a picture of my eldest, sadly, he doesn’t want his picture taken.” He looked real proud. “But sure i’ll get you sweets too, dear boy” he smirked

---------- “ITs alright. I wouldnt let you buy me a villa anyways.” He chuckled. “I would be happy with a small house on the countryside already ~ Really now, I need to save money too, and for now I would prefer to stick to small apartments. By the way.” He looked over curious to him. “Did you ever thought about getting a roommate? If you live somewhere together you both could ssave more money, it would be really convenient.” His thoughts where quickly distracted again when the other suddenly held some pictures in front of his face, and couldnt help but smile. “Okay, yes. They do look really cute!” He chuckled lightly, happy about the others enthusiasm. “And if you really want to, I like licorice best. It looks like candy, but its not sweet! Its deceiving candy!”

---------- “Roommates heh? Sounds nice but Im constantly on the move for now so that isnt very practical at the moment. I sometimes stay at ikea. Only got caught twice and then you can stay the night in a cel where they have beds also… Ahh have you heard in Reykjavik Ikea is going to built apartments for staff”

#aph emil #aph romulus #hetalia rp

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setaripendragon · 7 years

Text

Yin and Yang - Part 1

I’ve been feeling pretty crappy today, and for some reason writing about these two depressing assholes makes me feel better, so have some super self-indulgent mpreg!Itachi/Hidan. I have no idea where I’m going with this, I just have this image of Hidan listening in rapture to a baby’s midnight screaming fit, so I’m hoping to wend my way to that point, eventually.

General warnings for this whole story include: Hidan’s religious sadomasochism and Itachi’s suicidal martyr complex and depression. Also, obviously, mpreg. Please be careful and take care of yourself <3

Despite everything that had happened in his life, Itachi still disliked violence. It wasn’t the visceral disgust of his youth, but he still acknowledged that he found it unpleasant. Still, as an S-rank criminal for hire, he was forced to see a good deal of it. Thankfully, with a partner like Kisame, who not only was well suited to violence, but seemed to take a simple sort of pleasure from a fight, Itachi mostly got to stand to the side and look intimidating, instead of having to engage in the violence himself.

Most of the time.

This was not one of those times. There were really too many of them to expect Kisame to handle them all by himself, and at least three of them were lightning users. Sighing softly to himself, Itachi stepped forward, putting himself at Kisame’s side. The larger man smiled nastily. Their enemies attacked.

Itachi immediately surged forwards, sharingan spinning, caught a handful of them in a genjutsu before they’d even realised what happened, took another two in the throat with kunai, and spun under the first attack to actually reach him. Kunai in each hand, he flicked his wrists, sending the blades spinning out, and got another foolish ninja with a simple yet debilitating genjutsu.

Behind him, he heard Kisame laughing, but he paid it no heed. One of the better fighters engaged him with a flurry of spinning blows, and even though Itachi could predict every one and move out of the way with ease, he could also see that she was driving him into a knot of her allies. He let her, and then, at the last minute, when victory lit her eyes and her allies dove for him, he replaced himself with a leaf off the tree above them.

Looking down, he saw them drive their weapons and jutsu into each other, and devolve into a screaming, disoriented pile. He had been planning to throw another genjutsu at them, to further their mindless panic, but he got distracted. There was a foreign source of chakra inside him. It couldn’t be a genjutsu, or his eyes would have caught it long before now, it couldn’t be a compulsion jutsu, because he regularly fluctuated his chakra to throw them off. It didn’t seem to be affecting him at all, except, he realised as he studied it more closely, that there was a miniscule flow of his own chakra into it.

Exactly like he’d seen on his mother, less than a year before the Kyuubi attacked.

At first, incomprehension was what held Itachi immobile. Then, slowly, tendrils of panic began to creep past the fog of his usual indifference. Because the sharingan never lied. The sharingan saw through lies, dispelled genjutsu, picked out every tiny deception. The sharingan recorded the truth, and with enough practice could even be used to predict the immediate future with startling accuracy.

Itachi could not doubt the evidence of his own eyes, and his eyes were telling him that he was – inexplicably – pregnant. The impossibility of that was its own problem, but Itachi remembered the day Sasuke was born, he remembered standing at his mother’s bedside, looking at this tiny, screaming thing, and being overwhelmed by how indescribably precious this new life was.

As a child, a boy of only six, he’d been… a little jealous, that he couldn’t do that, too.

As a teenager, still just a boy of thirteen, he’d slaughtered his own mother in cold blood. He’d given up any right he’d ever had to call himself a good person, the sort of person who deserved to have a loving mother and adoring little brother. He could at least still call himself a good shinobi, but that was as far from a good person as one could get, in his opinion. He knew intimately the feel of his mother’s blood, the sound of his brother’s screams.

As a man, just barely twenty-one, he was a rotted, festered husk of a person, sick in body and soul, and far too damaged for this to possibly be… real. He had murdered his mother, destroyed his brother – oh, with a purpose, with a reason, but all violence had a reason, and all violence was still wrong – and he didn’t know if he remembered, if he’d ever known, how to be anything else with family.

Kill or be killed.

Somewhere past the ringing in his ears, he heard someone shout his name. Somewhere past the tingling in his extremities, he could feel the roughness of tree bark. Somewhere far, far beyond the memories of blood and terror in the eyes of the person he loved most in the world, he saw leaves scatter as a man with an unreasonably huge mace in his hands flung himself across the branches at Itachi.

At Itachi, and the new life that was resting inside him.

A new life that was so tiny, still so much smaller than Sasuke had been, that first time Itachi had ever laid eyes on him. Tiny and helpless and dependant; entirely, utterly, completely dependant on Itachi for the oxygen in their lungs and the blood in their veins and the beat of their heart. If Itachi did nothing, if Itachi failed, the baby would too.

In that moment, Itachi felt for the second time in his life an overwhelmingly fierce devotion to another person. Sasuke was his little brother, and this baby was his child. He had murdered his own mother to keep Sasuke safe in Konoha and out of a madman’s hands. He would do it a thousand times over if it meant protecting his child.

Black pinwheels spun to life in crimson irises. The world became orderly, predictable clockwork, and Itachi moved. The man in front of him wasn’t looking him in the eyes, unfortunately, so Itachi dispersed into crows, and reformed behind him, kicking him to the ground and following him down, letting gravity slam him into the man’s abdomen, crouching with the movement to drive his knee into his sternum and to slam his hand down onto his throat. The man gasped, eyes flying wide, and Itachi swallowed him in black flames.

Then Itachi looked up, assessed the battlefield, and marked out every potential threat. Too many. Far too many. He would change that.

With only a little blood and a few handsigns, Itachi summoned every crow that would answer to his call, and set them on his enemies. Crows, most people didn’t realise, were vicious birds, given the opportunity. They were carrion birds, scavengers, and that meant that they were not only capable of shredding corpses to get at the meat, but also sneaky, suicidally brave little shits, fully capable of stealing a meal out from under the beak of a fully grown eagle, given sufficient motivation.

These birds were bound to Itachi, they were his allies, and his protective fury was theirs, and more than enough to inspire them to murder. Itachi followed in their wake with black fire and madness in his bloodied crimson eyes.

A whirlwind of movement and screaming and death later, Itachi halted, and watched the last few amaterasu fires dwindle into nothingness. He stood very, very still, and breathed with lungs that were already more rot than lung. He let the sharingan fade away and looked with eyes that were as good as useless, with how little detail he could make out past the blurs of colour and light. He calmed the maelstrom that had swept through a mind so thoroughly overtaken by madness that he could easily slaughter an entire battlefield without a second thought.

Grass shifted under a shinobi sandal, and Itachi just barely turned his head to indicate to Kisame that he was aware the other man was there. Kisame whistled, low and impressed, and then, after a long, awkward pause, asked “You alright?”

Itachi laughed, startled into a moment of genuine, absurdist humour. He had never in his life been alright, long before this moment, long before he’d killed his family, long before he’d even so much as laid eyes on Sasuke. He was not the sort of person who could ever touch ‘alright’, wasn’t capable, wasn’t permitted. He was allowed just enough sanity to protect Sasuke, just enough lucidity to know to prepare him for when Itachi could not, just enough self-awareness to know that he deserved nothing more than death.

But he couldn’t die. Not yet. Not today or tomorrow. Not for years. Not until this new responsibility could stand on their own two feet and face down Kage if they needed to. He had been so close, so damned close, to finally meeting his end, to gifting Sasuke his own mangekyou, that ultimate power, and now… Now, despite his lungs and his eyes and his poisoned soul, he suddenly had to live.

His laughter choked off, curdled in his throat as tears spilled over his cheeks. He pressed a hand over his eyes as if that might help, but they continued to stream, regardless. His breath shook, his shoulders hitched, his throat constricted.

“Er…” Kisame began, and laid a tentative, awkward hand on Itachi’s shoulder. “I guess that’s a no.”

“I’m pregnant.” Itachi announced, although his voice came out far quieter than he meant it to, far more strained under the weight of his hysteria than he’d wanted it to. “I’m pregnant.” He repeated, in bewildered, horrified disbelief.

“I… What? Are you… sure? I mean, I was pretty sure you’re male, and-”

Itachi snorted, but delicately. He’d learnt that trick from his mother. Mikoto had been able to make just about anything look elegant, and Itachi had always been pleased by the fact that he took more after her than his father. In more ways than he’d expected, apparently. “Yes on both counts.”

There was a long silence, until Itachi felt, through the hand on his shoulder, Kisame shrug. “I suppose having a giant mouth on your chest is still weirder.” He capitulated easily. “Or having a giant flytrap around your head. Or turning yourself into a puppet.”

“Or being half-shark?” Itachi suggested, with a hint of wry humour.

“Well, that seems pretty normal to me.” Kisame retorted with a grin that showed off his jagged, pointed teeth. Deliberately.

Itachi did appreciate Kisame’s sense of humour. Truly. “This… does not seem very normal to me.” Itachi admitted, letting a hand drop to his stomach. There was… Now that he was looking for it, now that he was aware, he could feel the barest beginnings of a bump there, beneath his navel. And he had been feeling unwell for the last month or so, but he’d put that down to his deteriorating health.

“No idea this could happen, then?” Kisame checked.

“None. I-” Itachi started, then stalled. He did not talk about his clan. Only one person was privy to his thoughts and feelings about his clan, and it wasn’t Kisame. He couldn’t make the words leave his mouth, couldn’t allow the truth of it out before… before what? Before Sasuke killed him? He could hardly allow Sasuke to kill him now.

“Any records you could check?” Kisame asked, skirting around the issue with surprising grace.

Itachi hardly knew what being friends meant, but he rather thought he liked having one in Kisame. “Perhaps…” Itachi hedged. “And I think a visit to a skilled medic-nin would be in order.”

“Probably.” Kisame agreed. He looked around the small clearing. It was nothing but a green, brown, and red blur to Itachi, but he had seen the aftermath of the battle with the sharingan, and the memory was vivid and clear in his mind. “Are the killing-sprees going to be a regular thing?” He wondered, completely without judgement.

Itachi wanted to say it wouldn’t happen again, but, well… He still felt very uncertain and off-balance about this whole pregnancy thing, and if he thought too hard about it, he could feel the hysteria rising within him again. “Only if someone threatens me.” He hedged.

Kisame winced, then shrugged. “Okay. Let’s head back to the base.”

Itachi’s breath hitched, but he ignored it and the side-eye he got from Kisame, and nodded. When his partner didn’t move, Itachi turned and started walking. Kisame fell into step with him. They walked in silence for a while, and Itachi did his best not to lose his mind over the fact that somehow he’d wound up pregnant.

He wished he understood better the logistics of the thing. He had been having a fair amount of sex lately, penetrative sex, both giving and receiving. There had been plenty of exchanged bodily fluids, and even some chakra usage. But Itachi didn’t have the first clue how, when, or where the child had begun to grow. There had to be some sort of jutsu involved, surely, because Itachi was fairly certain he did not have the right organs, usually, to bear a child.

Except, he’d been thirteen the last time he’d seen a medic-nin for anything. He had no idea how his body might have changed during puberty. There were some pretty strange mutations in certain ninja clans, physical alterations that frightened or disgusted most civilians. Itachi would have thought that as the clan heir, he would have been made aware of all the pertinent details of their clan’s traits. But, of course, he’d been thirteen when he’d killed everyone who might have been able to explain, and most people, even ninja, did seem to think that was a bit young to be talking about sex. Never mind the fact that Itachi had been killing people since he was six.

Why sex was supposed to be that much more traumatising than murder, Itachi did not know.

Kisame’s sudden question knocked Itachi out of his increasingly hysterical thoughts; “Is Hidan going to try and kill me for knowing before he did?” He wondered, without seeming very bothered by the prospect.

“Why would he?” Itachi wondered.

“He is the father, isn’t he?” Kisame checked, although he didn’t sound very uncertain at all.

Which was fair. Hidan was not a subtle man. Everyone in Akatsuki had known they were sleeping together less than a week after they started. That was a full six months ago, and in that time, they had slid seamlessly from what Kakuzu had crassly termed fuck-buddies to what Deidara had called ‘disgustingly and creepily married’ with a visible shudder.

“Yes.” Itachi confirmed, even though he was fairly sure he didn’t need to.

Kisame nodded. “So, do I need to watch my back?”

“I cannot see why you would need to take any extra care.” Itachi replied. Kisame watched him for a moment, then shrugged and seemed to accept that for what it was. The rest of their journey passed in an easy, companionable silence.

#Naruto #Uchiha Itachi #Hidan #Hoshigaki Kisame #HidaIta #Hidan/Itachi #Hidachi #whatever the ship name is #I like Hidachi #Itachi has about minus three thousand chill when it comes to family #also #some shameless self advertising #if you want the story of how Hidan and Itachi went from 'fuck-buddies' to 'creepily married'#check out my story Burnt Sugar and Blood #(also it's prequel Eviscerated)#I love these two please come join me on this piece of driftwood #rare pair hell #I am in it so deep

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ice-ice-taeyong · 7 years

Text

Terushima Week-Days 4&5

Day 4: Trust/Captain

Day 5: Fantasy/Sci-Fi

I may have decided to skip a few days due to the inability to find motivation, so here’s a make up. This one is a lot longer than the other three I’ve posted. I may or may not have fallen into the endless pit that encompasses Naruto, and, because there can never be enough of my love Genma, so here’s a Naruto au that features very little Haikyuu and a lot of Terushima regretting his choices. And fight scenes cause I’m like ultra weak for that stuff.

Let it never be said that Terushima Yuuji backed down from a fight. Seriously. If it’s ever said and goes uncorrected the shinobi will surely turn in the grave he’s about to land himself in. It wasn’t his intention to pick a fight with one Shiranui Genma, he just rolled his eyes a few too many times at Namiashi’s scars and then laughed a touch too hard at one of Yamashiro Aoba’s jabs. So now he sits, a captain of an ANBU team for Christ’s sake, in an empty training field, in full gear-mask and all, about to face down Shiranui-san. While Kakashi-san watches-slash-proctors, really only there because he’s easily one of the strongest of their age, if not the strongest. Kuroo Tetsurou, Daishou Suguru, and Bokuto Koutarou, his squadmates, also watch on, all sporting varying grins of amusement. Well, to be fair, they had warned him about Shiranui-san and his downright creepy knowledge of when someone disrespects his partner. Terushima sighs and turns to his squadmates, the recruits he was given to lead, mess of a group that they are, and nearly pleads.

“Just burn all my effects. All of them. And tell Daichi’s squad that I was thinking of them in the end.” He grins a little cheekily at them and tries not to swallow too loudly when he sees Shiranui-san’s careful look of disinterest. He highly respected the other ANBU, honestly Shiranui-san, Namiashi-san, Yamashiro-san, and Gekkou-san were one of the most terrifying teams in the organization. With the exception of some veteran members, Uchiha Itachi, and Hatake Kakashi they are probably the most powerful. High chakra reserves, stellar control, an assortment of weapons and specialties, really, Terushima is brilliantly screwed.

He hadn’t even meant to fight the other ANBU. He just got a sharp, witty, stinging comment from the hazel-eyed man telling him to “knock it off, please, Terushima-kun, you aren’t as funny as you must think you are in your head.” In that smooth, velvety, deep voice of utter boredom. And he’d been so disappointed and embarrassed he’d just sorta shouted “FIGHT ME!” in a panic because Shiranui-san still had those eyes fixed on him, daring him to say something. Okay, so Terushima might adore his senpai a little too much, but the man and his teammates are all just so freaking strong. How does one not just want to--- he’ll stop. He gets the same way about Kakashi-san. He shakes his head slightly, clearing it of useless thoughts just in time to see the moody silver-haired teen barely break monotone as he explained the rules to the “spar.”

“This is a standard type 3 spar. All weaponry and jutsus are allowed, but no fatal hits. If your jutsu only has a fatal outcome, then don’t do it. Aim your weapons lightly and far from vital organs. In the event of accident, a draw is called and medical attention will immediately be sought. It ends when one party can no longer get up or calls a submission. Or if myself or Raidou calls the match as over.” He explains dryly and then steps back. Shiranui-san chews on the senbon he has between his teeth as Terushima frantically thinks up a strategy. He’s about to settle for the classic “Run for the Hills and Pray to Kami” method when his opponent speaks.

“Terushima. You aren’t scared, are you?” he taunts casually, raising one slim brow into the bandana that is his hitai-itae. Terushima takes a short breath and summons courage like a nin-pet.

“No. Shiranui-san--” he’s immediately cut off by the man opposite him.

“Please, call me Genma. I’ve told you this before.” He almost sounds friendly, which means that he’s actually being super friendly to the bottle blond. Terushima nods his head slowly in apology.

“Genma…-san, I’m perfectly ready. The nin from Suna were far more terrifying.” He brags, trying to bluff his way through the exchange. It must show, he must have some tell that Genma picks up on because after one last soft look to Raidou-san the senbon Genma constantly has between his lips is spit out towards him, aimed at his neck, moving with considerable speed. Well shit, he barely has the time to think before he abruptly leaps back and pulls his katana out in one, not-so-smooth motion.

It is at that moment he realizes how poor of a match their skill set is. Terushima specializes in his swords, both long like his katana and short like his tanto, and is good with genjutsu of the sensory kind, meaning he has to get close enough to his opponent to touch them. He fights up close and dirty, his fights are in short, explosive bursts. But Genma, see Genma fights with senbon almost exclusively. Senbon almost always work at a distance and he knows from a mission completed together that all of them are coated with at least a mild sedative. Genma himself is immune or very, very slightly affected by almost all poisons found in Fire country and a few from Suna and Iwa. So you put a distance fighter up against a short range fighter. This won’t end well. Couldn’t he have picked a fight with a Hyuuga or someone who he’d actually be able to get close enough to strike at least one hit on? Of course not. Whoever he pissed off in a past life wasn’t done tormenting him yet.

Terushima whirled into action and pulled his other katana from the crossed sheath he had attached to his back. He was wearing his porcelain mask and Genma slipped his on as soon as the senbon had left his mouth. Terushima’s eyes flashed behind his mask of an orca. Genma’s wasp stared back at him, carefully watching his every move, every twitch catalogued and analyzed. Genma flicked his hand and another senbon flew at him. He deflected it with his sword and then he shunshinned to directly behind Genma, not using handsigns. The one thing his mother taught him was how to control his chakra with enough accuracy not to need the signs for basics. He sent a thanks to her soul and then slashed at Genma’s arm. He dodged the blow and kicked back and turned in a mildly impressive taijutsu combo. Terushima used the broad side of his sword to deflect the sandal and he launched into a flurrying combination of short slashes, aimed at Genma’s arms and legs. Using two swords at once meant there were a lot of blows and he felt a ring of satisfaction when he lands a glancing blow to Genma’s thigh. Even if he very nearly misses getting hit by a senbon in a place that would most certainly hurt very much and that senbon is probably laced with something that would knock him out or eat his chakra or something else equally nasty.

Genma pulls a kunai out too now and Terushima switches to defense as Genam throws it and uses the distraction to pull back, out of range and Terushima curses fiercely under his breath, he had a chance to cast a genjutsu but he chose instead to attack. Well nothing to do now but defend until a good moment comes along to fly forward again. He really wishes he could use the Hokage’s Flying Thunder God technique, it would be useful, but he hasn’t quite mastered it. Not enough to use in a fight like this. So he swipes away senbon and long flying kicks and a few kunai here and there, desperately scraping along, looking for an opening. There! As Genma shakes his sleeve to dislodge the senbon hidden there. Terushima slides one sword away and mentally visualizes the genjutsus he wants to cast as he shunshinned behind Genma again and grabs the wrist about to flick a senbon into his shoulder, sending Genma reeling into whatever dream he had the night before. He steps back to let it really take effect before he attacked. If only to regain his balance. Two jutsus back to back always left him shaky for a beat.

“Rai~” Genma practically moaned out and his eyes closed slightly, head tipping back. Terushima raised a brow before swiping a kick to the back of Genma’s knees and the man went crashing down, waking from the dream. Terushima manages to straddle him quick enough that by the time Genma sticks a senbon into his thigh, Terushima’s sword his pressed to the wasp-masked man’s throat.

“I won.” Terushima said triumphantly, if a little shakily because whatever was coating that senbon started flowing into his bloodstream. His vision started going double but before he can sway to the side to vomit maybe, or just pass out Genma has him flipped, hips pinned by Genma’s own, sword across the field and wrists restrained.

“You were saying?” Genma taunted and Terushima could practically hear the arched brow and crooked smile. He was still very woozy and he distantly heard Kakashi clear his throat boredly.

“Shiranui Genma is the victor.” He says and then Raidou-san rushed forward along with Daishou. They collect their significant others from the ground, and Raidou takes off Genma mask. The man still looks a touch glassy-eyed from the genjutsu.

“Dreaming of me?” The brown-haired ANBU teased, helping the other to his feat. Genma flinches very slightly, ducking his head so his long hair covers his blush. Terushima chuckles until Daishou gets his mask off and he promptly turns to the not-Daishou side and hurls up his lunch. It’s Genma’s turn to chuckle and some of the surrounding spectators offer calls of sympathy for Terushima. Most ANBU in their age group ends up on the receiving end of Genma’s poison at some point and it is not pleasant. Daishou smooths his hair in comfort and helps him stand.

Terushima stands opposite Genma again. They were both faintly smirking and looked a touch unsteady. Terushima bows to Genma, a sign of respect and acknowledgment of superiority. “Good spar, Genma” Genma laughs, flashes that crooked smile of his and ruffles Terushima’s hair when he straightens.

“Yeah, Terushima. It was. You’ll do very well.” The words are fond and Terushima glows.

#terushimaweek2k17 #miss fanfic shakespeare #terushima yuuji #naruto crossover #Shiranui Genma #terushima makes a Mistake

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theconservativebrief · 6 years

Link

Look at the above image. On the left, of course, is Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, at the Senate Judiciary Committee for his confirmation hearings. Behind him is his former clerk, longtime Republican legal operative Zina Bash. But what is Bash doing with her hand? Is she resting it normally? Is she making an “okay” sign? Or could it be that she’s making a … WHITE POWER HAND SIGNAL?

This is 2018, and so naturally, some prominent #resistance Twitter personalities jumped on the latter allegation, seeing Bash’s hand movements as proof of Republican complicity with white supremacist movements:

Kavanaugh’s former law clerk Zina Bash is flashing a white power sign behind him during his Senate confirmation hearing. They literally want to bring white supremacy to the Supreme Court. What a national outrage and a disgrace to the rule of law. pic.twitter.com/uQGOpNa6xg

— Eugene Gu, MD (@eugenegu) September 4, 2018

Eugene Gu, a prominent anti-Trump doctor who recently made news when he was accused of sexual assault, racked up more than 13,000 retweets and 17,500 likes for his tweet accusing Bash.

Keith Rubin, an Army veteran whose Twitter bio states he “love[s] everything except racism,” got even more engagement on his version of the post:

In a since-deleted tweet, Amy Siskind, the prominent Twitter personality who writes a weekly list of #NotNormal things the Trump administration has done, stated that the hand signal should disqualify Kavanaugh from the Supreme Court.

Before we go any further: Bash was not making a “white power hand signal.” You can, if you want, trust the word of her husband, John Bash, who is currently US attorney for the Western District of Texas:

Zina is Mexican on her mother’s side and Jewish on her father’s side. She was born in Mexico. Her grandparents were Holocaust survivors. We of course have nothing to do with hate groups, which aim to terrorize and demean other people — never have and never would. 2/3

— US Attorney John Bash (@USAttyBash) September 4, 2018

But if his word isn’t enough, you can listen to real experts on white supremacist movements.

“No one should assume anything about the use of such a gesture unless there are other unmistakable white supremacist signifiers in that context as well,” Mark Pitcavage, an expert on right-wing extremism at the Anti-Defamation League, tweeted, adding:

Out of all the things you should be legitimately concerned about regarding the Senate confirmation hearings in Washington, DC, today for Judge Kavanaugh & SCOTUS, handshakes and handsigns ought not be among them.

Actual serious constitutional issues are at stake.

— Mark Pitcavage (@egavactip) September 4, 2018

Jared Holt, a research associate at the left-leaning watchdog group Right Wing Watch, agrees. “It could have just been her resting her hand in a way that looked like that,” he said. “I haven’t seen anything that would lead me to believe this was intentionally a troll.”

That’s the gist of it. But there’s a backstory to why the okay gesture is perceived as a hate sign, and the eagerness of some liberals to embrace fake news on the subject is itself revealing. We have, at this point, gotten plenty of signs through actual policy decisions, and concrete connections between Trump staffers and white nationalist activists, that the Trump White House is pursuing a racist agenda. So why do people still want a secret hand signal to prove that the Trump administration is sympathetic to white supremacist goals?

As the ADL’s Pitcavage explained last year, this whole story was fueled, like so much internet nonsense before it, with a 4chan trolling effort.

Back in February 2017, Pitcavage writes, a 4chan user proposed an effort called “Operation O-KKK” in which he and allies would, in the anonymous user’s words, “flood Twitter and other social media websites … claiming that the OK hand sign is a symbol of white supremacy.” Here’s the original 4chan post, as shared by KnowYourMeme:

KnowYourMeme

The choice of the okay symbol for the prank, as KnowYourMeme editor-in-chief Brad Kim explains, was not totally arbitrary; “Sometime during the 2016 United States presidential election,” Kim writes, “Pizza Party Ben and Milo Yiannopoulos began making the gesture together at various events supporting the candidacy of Donald Trump.”

On February 13, 2017, a few weeks before the 4chan post, Jim Hoft and Lucian Wintrich of the alt-right outlet Gateway Pundit made the okay symbol in the White House Press Room. The left-leaning media watchdog Media Matters denounced it as a “hate symbol,” noting that images of alt-right mascot Pepe the Frog sometimes showed the character doing the “okay” sign:

A far bigger blow-up occurred the following April when journalist Emma Roller, then of Splinter, tweeted a photo of alt-right celebrities Cassandra Fairbanks and Mike Cernovich making the okay sign in the White House press room:

Screengrab by Know Your Meme

To Channers and alt-right loyalists, this was the ultimate proof that the prank had worked: A left-leaning journalist had been fooled into thinking an innocuous hand gesture was a secret sign of deep, racist evil. Especially funny to them was when Roller explained her tweet by referencing a diagram … originating in the 4chan post that launched “Operation O-KKK”:

Screengrab via KnowYourMeme

At first Fairbanks and Cernovich seemed to be having a laugh over the whole situation. Fairbanks told BuzzFeed News’s Joe Bernstein, “There was a troll meme going around saying that it meant white power. But it was a joke because Trump supporters are always being called Nazis even when it isn’t true.” Cernovich told Bernstein that he borrowed the hand gesture from Jay-Z, and from a conspiracy theory alleging that Jay-Z used the gesture as a sign he’s in the Illuminati.

Fairbanks would later purport to take the accusation a bit more seriously, and sued Roller for defamation in federal court. Judge Trevor McFadden of the DC District Court, a Trump appointee, dismissed the lawsuit in an opinion memorably beginning, “Plaintiff Cassandra Fairbanks trolled the web through Twitter …”

Holt at Right Wing Watch said that meanwhile, “people at the ADL and people like me who follow this stuff full-time tried to explain that this is not actually a symbol tied to white supremacy in any way.”

Another iteration of the controversy exploded in December 2017, when the Daily Mail reported that White House intern Jack Breuer had flashed a “known ‘white power’ sign during a photo-op with President Donald Trump.” Here’s the photo in question, from then-Mail reporter Jessica Chasmar:

Breuer strenuously denied the suggestion on Twitter:

In some of our intern pictures, I emulated the OK sign the President sometimes makes. That was foolish. I should have listened more closely to the Commander-in-Chief and given the thumbs up. (1/2)

— Jack Breuer (@jjbreue) December 29, 2017

I’m proud of my Jewish heritage and strongly reject the hateful views associated with racist white power organizations. I would never make common cause with them. (2/2)

— Jack Breuer (@jjbreue) December 29, 2017

Snopes, the fact-checking website, called the accusation against Breuer “unproven,” noting that the only evidence the Mail produced for the suggestion that Breuer intentionally made the sign as a show of alt-right solidarity was an anonymous quote from a fellow White House intern. Even that source conceded, “Jack’s a good kid and is probably doing it as a joke.”

Holt, at Right Wing Watch, said that while it began as a hoax, the symbol’s success as a troll has given it some new meaning in right-wing circles it didn’t have originally. He says intentional use of it falls into two camps. “One is white supremacists making a tongue-in-cheek inside joke to each other,” he said. “Then the larger contingent of people are people who do it in the photos to get a reaction and troll the libs.”

In the former camp, he includes people like Charlottesville rally organizer Jason Kessler; in the latter, folks like Cernovich, an alt-right troll who, while certainly a racist, is “probably more concerned with just trying to make liberals and the #resistance look as bad as humanly possible.”

Zina Bash, the latest conservative ensnared in an okay sign controversy, has a more intellectual pedigree than her predecessors Breuer, Fairbanks, and Cernovich. According to her LinkedIn page, she holds degrees from Harvard College, Harvard Law School, and Penn’s Wharton business school, and she clerked for both Brett Kavanaugh on the DC Circuit (hence her presence at the hearings) and for Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito.

Until recently, she worked in the Trump White House as a special Assistant to the President for regulatory reform, legal and immigration policy. In July, she joined Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton’s office as a senior counsel.

It seems clear that Fairbanks and Cernovich were using the hand signal to troll the libs, and at least plausible that Breuer, Holt, and Wintrich were as well (the latter two are pretty prominent alt-right racists, but their incident was also before the 4chan hoax began). But was Bash? It’s certainly possible she was exposed to the idea of the troll.

That said, it’s equally if not more plausible that she was replying to a text message. (Some Twitter hand signal detectives argued she can be seen getting an alert on her phone before the hand signal appears.) Or maybe she was signaling to someone watching the livestream; sending an okay signal to a senator or staffer sitting opposite her and Kavanaugh; or just fidgeting with her fingers.

There’s simply no reason, other than an epistemological commitment to assuming the absolute worst of absolutely everyone ever associated with the Trump administration, to believe she did a small hand movement to prove her commitment to white supremacy.

It’s, of course, natural for fake news about the president and his aides to proliferate among their political critics. When I was 14, I really sincerely believed that George W. Bush had snuck in an earpiece so he could be fed answers during his debates with John Kerry, and that the “bulge” in the back of his suit jacket proved this.

This was, of course, nonsense. But Bush really was awful, and really was prosecuting a horrific war killing hundreds of thousands of people and torturing many more. That made ridiculous suggestions, like that Bush had to cheat at televised debates, seem plausible to me (that, plus I was 14 and my brain was small and unformed).

And, of course, fake news about Barack Obama (he’s secretly Kenyan!) and Bill Clinton (he’s a cocaine trafficker!) spread wildly among conservatives during their presidencies.

But in a way, the Zina Bash fake news is stranger, because it seems to confirm something we all already know: the Trump administration contains racists who want to use policy to harm nonwhite people. You don’t need a hand signal to know that.

Take, say, Rosie Gray’s exposé in the Atlantic of Homeland Security staffer Ian M. Smith, who was close with numerous white nationalists and went to a house party advertised as judenfrei (or “free of Jews”). Or take Stephen Miller, the White House domestic policy adviser responsible for the partial implementation of Trump’s promise to ban Muslims from the US and for the policy of separating immigrant families, and who alt-right leader Richard Spencer has described as a friend and ally when they were at Duke together.

Or take, I don’t know, the president: a man who as a candidate promised to ban all Muslims from the US, who calls Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas,” who said that a Mexican-American judge is unfit to preside over cases involving him, who called Mexican immigrants “rapists,” claimed Muslim-Americans celebrated the 9/11 attacks. And then, after all that, a man who came into office and set about implementing the most anti-immigrant policies in years, slowing housing discrimination law enforcement to a halt, and reorienting the Justice Department away from fighting racial discrimination against black Americans. Oh, and who empathized with neo-Nazis after Charlottesville, and described Haiti and African nations as “shithole” countries, for good measure.

We don’t need to interpret hand signals to know where this administration stands on racism and white supremacy. We know very well where it stands.

Original Source -> No, a former Kavanaugh clerk didn’t flash a “white power sign.” Here’s what really happened.

via The Conservative Brief

#IFTTT #The Conservative Brief

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