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#I need to know what the fu-
dangerdragoncat · 5 months
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YALL HE GONNA SAY FUCK
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lazycranberrydoodles · 5 months
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hua cheng: oh god im gonna be meeting dianxia again soon i gotta act cool
hua cheng: [immediately infodumps]
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spacedace · 1 year
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Okay but the Justice League finds out their new baby hero teammate Phantom is the Ghost King by virtue of the Fright Night showing up while they're in the middle of a meeting, looking terrifying and such and scaring the shit out of everyone- even more so when Constantine starts freaking out over the fact that the sworn night of the King of the Infinite Realms is in the Watchtower what the fuck that's apocalyptically bad Pariah Dark is supposed to be locked the fuck up forever - but instead of trying to smite them all or yeet them into the nightmare dimension he just pulls out a space themed packed lunch??? And gives it to Phantom??
And the mildly eldritch giant murder ghost is talking about how "The Queen Mother commanded me to ensure you ate my Lord, she says you missed your morning meal."
And Phantom is just grumbling about over protective sisters and "there's a cafeteria i would have been fine" what the fuck is happening right now?
What do you mean "oops you forgot" Phantom I thought the ghost thing was just a theme!
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mysandwichranaway · 9 months
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i got something half decent out of my brain!!!!
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1v31182m5 · 13 days
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Lyrics by Tommy Dorsey's Street of Dreams 01:25
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catradoraism · 1 year
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hua cheng about xie lian’s “most trusted person”: his highness is too trusting sometimes :( i wish that person was me but i know it couldn’t be :(
xie lian about hua cheng’s “beloved”: that person is such a tasteless freak if /i/ were san lang’s beloved i would never take him for granted he’s so handsome and capable and strong and charming and funny what kind of fucking idiot wouldn’t love him back
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nevertheless-moving · 2 months
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I'm not quite there yet but I KNOW that after wind and truth featuring Szeth and Kaladin's Unwell Adventure, I WILL be adding Kalaszeth to my all encompassing mental cabinet of beloved possible Kaladin ships.
---
Which introduces a new funniest time travel companion for a new funniest post book 5 time travel scenario.
Stormlight au 31:
Szeth, having jump scared the bridge crew by appearing lightly glowing in the dark while they were having stew, been hastily ushered by the captain into the bridge four barrack, only to sit on the floor and stare dead eyed at nothing: Kaladin, standing between the crew and the man on the floor:
---
Lopen looked around. As usual, he could tell that the men were silently crying out for him, the Lopen, to take charge and speak.
"So!" he said cheerfully. "Gotta say gancho, very excited to meet an old friend of yours! Nice to take some mystery out of that mysterious past of yours, eh?"
Kaladin shifted from foot to foot, face twisting a bit. He had been acting strange since that terrifying glowy high storm vision of his a few days back. Even more broody than usual, which was storming saying something.
"It must be difficult," Rock said slowly. "Being Shin man with great powers and shardblade."
A shardblade which he had summoned unceremoniously, causing all of bridge four to scramble for weapons, only for the crazy man to hand it to Kaladin with a mumble, then sit on the floor.
Kaladin had sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, before placing it, very, very carefully, under his bed.
A storming shardblade. Under the Captain's bed.
"A Shin with a shardblade who wears white," Moash added sarcastically, eyes flickering to the Captain's bed even more than usual.
(White may have been a stretch, what with all the mud and possibly dried blood. Still. Lopen could perhaps see Moash's point.)
"Yes," Rock said. "Why, were I more suspicious man, I would say Captain, this man on the floor, he can not be Assassin in White? Surely most wanted, most dangerous man in all Roshar is not here, in the place we sleep, asking for aid. Surely it would have been mentioned if this man who caused the war we even now are a part of, was old friend of yours?"
"I..." Kaladin trailed off. "I promised to try and protect..."
The whole bridge crew groaned, Skar even throwing his spear at the ground. Bad form, that.
"Storm's sake lad!" Teft growled, arms in the air. "You can't befriend and save every wanted criminal you meet!"
"If it is of help -"
The men started at the unnerving dead voice coming from the so far quiet assassin.
"We are not truly friends. Merely -"
He said a word, presumably in his language, then frowned, the first recognizably human emotion that had crossed his face.
"I do not know this word in Alethi. In Azish it is I think -"
He said something that made Sigzil choke on air, jaw dropping. "Uh," the Worldsinger stammered out. "I. Ah. I think. That might be the wrong term."
The Captain seemed to pale slightly. "Szeth, we can talk about that later," he said quickly. "We should probably figure out a plan for you to surrender to Dalinar - or Elokhar - without you getting immediately executed - Yes, Dalinar is probably-"
"Perhaps," Sigzil interrupted, voice higher than usual. "You could define the meaning of the word you used before."
"Sigzil!" The captain hissed.
"Captain?" Sigzil challenged, voice still slightly too high.
"I was emotionally and mentally unwell," the assassin in white said in his monotone. He paused. "Even more so than currently."
A few of the men took a step back.
"Stormblessed..." he looked up at Kaladin, and his voice seemed to soften, just the slightest bit. "He felt pity for me. Then he helped me feel. Helped me think that perhaps, someday I would feel the desire for life. He did this despite no great love for my being."
Many of the men nodded at that. Sigzil's shoulders slumped in relief.
"He accomplished this primarily by fucking me in a cave."
The nods froze. Sigzil closed his eyes.
The Captain slapped a hand to his face.
"The translation for this from my language would be 'pity fuck', but there is more cultural nuance..." The Assassin shrugged. "In any case it is not a bond such as that of friendship. My soul is still far too damaged for that."
"Szeth..." The Captain said, looking down at him with obvious concern. He glanced at the room, blanched at the men's expressions, then slowly pressed his head back into his hand.
Moash made an indecipherable noise and stomped towards the door, before making another noise and stomping back.
The Captain kept his palm pressed to his face.
A sudden wave of epiphany hit Lopen. "Hold on. Now hold on just a storming minute!"
The room turned slowly from staring at their Stormblessed leader to staring at Lopen.
He pointed accusingly at the Captain. When the man failed to pull his massive hand from his beautiful face, Lopen faced the others, glaring.
"I know that I joined bridge four late! But are you telling me that before I got here, the whole famous 'pulling everyone out of bridge crew misery' was actually the captain...I mean did storming all of you..."
He made a deliberate gesture, pointer finger moving extra emphatically to make up for the missing hand with which to form a hole, meeting each man's eyes with a challenge.
Drehy let out a wheeze. He and Skar looked at each other before dissolving into quiet, helpless laughter. Drehy sank to his hands and knees, wheezing more, and Skar bent over, tears streaming down his face as he gasped around his laughing.
"That ain't an answer!" he said indignantly.
He looked at Teft, but the older man had put both hands over his face. His shoulders seem to shake occasionally. Lopen's eyes narrowed as he turned to Rock.
The horneater had a hand over his mouth, but he brought it down, coughing once as he stroked his beard.
"What," Rock said mildly. "You thought it my stew that bring back men's will to live? You honor me, the Lopen."
Lopen gaped at that, and he wasn't the only one. The handful of other 'late' additions, men who had been rescued on the field from other crews, started in shock.
The rest of the crew completely lost it at that point.
Skar and Drehy collapsed further, banging their fists on the floor. Bissig started laughing as well, falling onto Natam, who had made a strange grunting whine at Lopen's question, a whine which grew louder at Rock's reply.
Moash's lips turned up reluctantly before a snort escaped against his will. He fell back against a wall, knees seeming to grow weak. Another snort. "Imagine!" he gasped out. "If he just started punching people in the stomach, ran around like a madman, and expected people to follow him!"
Leyten went from chuckling to a booming laugh at that, clutching at Pete and Yake to stay upright. He looked at Lopen, who made another questioning gesture. That was enough to send all three toppling over, Leyten loud enough to be heard the next barrack over.
Renarin squeaked from the corner as Natam hit the wall beside him in mirth, howling. Talek's breath, he had forgotten the lad was there, light eyes wide in shock.
Shen was next to him. Was it Lopen's imagination, or did even his eyes seemed to be sparkling with mirth? No storming way...not the parshman...the Captain wouldn't...
"Crazy!" Torfin agreed, cackling. "What kind of idiots would start pooling all their pay to buy storming bandages for doomed men, start laughing during chasm duty, swear to stand by their storming bridge, if they didn't have at least one, um - uh -"
"Stormblessing!" Leyten offered with a gasp from the ground.
Torfin pointed at him, "Stormblessing!" he repeated with a yell. "To remind them that life was worth living!"
Lopen narrowed his eyes, finally coming to a conclusion. "You fellows are taking the piss out on me," he accused.
"You know Captain," Drehy said, whole body heaving, tears still streaming down his face as he lay helplessly on the floor. "I still get nightmares."
This inspired a new wave of laughter mixed with jeers about their own issues, and suggestions for how the captain could help. Lopen shook his head, grinning widely at the room full of uproarious men. Some of his best work. And mostly achieved on accident, which was the best kind of accomplishment!
The Captain finally pulled his hand from his face. There was color high in his cheeks, and he was frowning, but the corners of his eyes were creased with suppressed laughter.
"Sorry Drehy, one time offer," he said dryly, to hoots.
And Lopen," he said, faux apologetic. "I am sorry for the oversight. I... didn't realize you were interested."
The crew edged well into hysteria, most men only able to breathe in strangled gasps and wheeze out an occasional ''Stormblessing!'
Bridge four's captain was good at playing straight man, when the mood struck him.
The Lopen huffed, but decided magnanimously to move past the slight to his honor. Even if it turned out they weren't joking.
"It's still nice to be included," he sniffed. "Ain't that right, Renarin."
The Brightlord seemed to shrink as attention was drawn towards him, face a brilliant red as he pressed into the corner. Some of the laughter trailed off as the crew remembered he was there. More of it got louder, even less uncontrolled.
The Captain's eyes widened and the flush on his cheeks spread to his ears.
"Renarin! Oh - Jezrianssake, the men are full of chullshit, alright? I didn't - that wasn't -"
The Captain gestured helplessly. "The thing with Szeth was - we were - the world was going to -"
He threw up his arms as Renarin's eyes just got wider.
"It was the stew!" He said desperately, turning to look at Eth, who looked bemused back at him. "It really was the stew!" He pleaded.
"I know Captain," Eth said soothingly. "I know I came in a bit later, but I know. That's not exactly something these idiots would be able to keep secret."
"Things might have gone faster, though..." Skar said leadingly, which set off another round of helpless groans and gasps for air.
The Captain rolled his eyes, scoffing, still the perfect comedic straight man.
...He did get the whole joke though, right? The bit of truth in the jeers? The Lopen was not generally interested in the more manly sex but Storms. It was sometimes hard to tell if the Captain realized just how pretty he was, just how much people reacted to his general...Stormblessedness. Not to mention the glowing! Everyone loves a man who can glow and run up walls.
Hm. Maybe that helped explain the Captain and the Assassin.
Moash stumbled, still snorting, over to the Man in White - to Szeth - looking down at him, appraising.
Kaladin grew tense.
Gancho had been especially strange around Moash for the last few days.
"Assassin," he said thoughtfully. "Are you sure it was just pity?"
The wide eyed man, who had remained utterly impassive as the room fell apart around him, cocked his head as Moash leaned down.
"There's a certain kind of person who finds killing light eyes, especially powerful lighteyes, a rather..."
Kaladin cleared his throat, interrupting. "We're not killing the king."
Moash turned sharply, glaring at Kaladin.
"I do not wish to kill anymore," Szeth whispered. He paused, then spoke again.
"I will kill if the Blackthorn orders, or if you ask, Kaladin Stormblessed, son son Tanavast."
Kaladin winced. "Maybe let's not mention...that whole last part when we go to the King. We...we should definitely practice exactly how we're going to explain all this."
He starting towing the still blank faced - no there was a bit of confusion there, if you were looking - infamous Assassin to his office, the men letting out the best jeers they could (considering their incoherent state) as they went.
"You should for sure mention the 'pity fuck' thing though," Lopen called helpfully. "The King will definitely be interested in that."
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endlesslytired · 23 days
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yumemiruuuu · 4 months
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New Year art of TGCF from BiliBili
They’re so babies 🥺
Look at Qi Rong and Mu Qing
And Shi Qingxuan showing off their new outfit to our Beef Boi
AND HUALIAN BEING THEIR ADORABLE SELVES AAAAA
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dracocheesecake · 21 days
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...I realized something:
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leawesomesloth · 4 months
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A Belated Merry Christmas~
Just a wholesome santa and his reindeer 😇
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the-random-phan · 1 month
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Shi Qingxuan~ <3
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moeblob · 1 month
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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loafyall · 2 months
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"Who did this to you..?"
(CRASHES INTO PART TWO OF "I can't")
Hi!
Okay well I kinda lied that I would write the part two of "I can't" in a day but it took me three days so i apologise for making everyone who read part 1 and were waiting for part two!
I had exams going on and I'm finally free!!
---------------main story..----------------
Summary : Yanqing is found the next morning of the incident, In an abandoned street of the Aurum alley, It's time for jing yuan to find out what happened to Yanqing and jing yuan's about to kill, torture that bastard and he is planning too.
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Yanqing was never this late at coming home and reporting back to jing yuan, Well, Yanqing was always late at coming home, But it was different.
-he wasn't home at all.
It was only until morning that Jing yuan realised that Yanqing hasn't came home yet, Which obviously, Got jing yuan worried, Perhaps he's with dealing with mara-struck? Or already at the training grounds?.
--no, Yanqing would have never woken up before jing yuan, It's unlikely for him to do that.
It's probably around the time for Noon before jing yuan starts slightly panicking as he hasn't seen yanqing in such a while already, Eversince the patrol started last evening, He hasn't been home since. Perhaps he could ask madam Fu or the helm master about yanqing's whereabouts but he already knew their answer would surely be no.
There's loud knocking on the door, It's probably the knights.
And yes it was the knights, Just as jing yuan thought, Why were they here?, That's when the bad news comes in when one cloud knight finally speaks.
"General, There's something you need to see." That cloud knight respectfully speaks, His head bowed down. "It's about lieutenant yanqing." And that's where jing yuan eyes widened at the mention of his (son) retainer.
"Please, Go on." Jing yuan said, Trying his best at remaining calm, But he couldnt.
That's probably when the other cloud knight tells him, Yanqing was found in some dark abandoned street of the Aurum alley, And that's what Sushang had reported in earlier.
Now jing yuan was worried, Way worried about his retainer, he got up from his seat, As he put his own pen down in which he was signing his paperwork with.
"We'll need to go there immediately, Send a medical party there immediately, You may be dismissed." Jing yuan had said that in an authoritative tone, He was going to kill that bastard who did that horrendous thing to yanqing when he finds out who he is, He's in great trouble.
---------TIMESKIP...--------
"Tch, Can't take the whole thing in one go and had to pass out that early?." That's cloud knight said, That bastard who tried to Do the Ungodly with Yanqing, Yanqing was practically crying and aswell as shaking as he tried to cover his half naked body.
Some bruises and scars were around his hands and back, Few on his legs, His tears soaking into the ground and his clothes, Yanqing's Vision was blurry, And with pouring rain it made it all worse.
Yanqing felt like he's a worthless child who doesn't deserve happiness, The way he's been traumatized is Ungodly, There were bodily fluids, and blood was there, Which could've made Yanqing vomit, Blood was gushing out from the bruise given by that bastard, Yanqing as going to going to pass out soon because of the pressure.
Yanqing's tears didn't come to a stop as he laid there, Motionless, He was unsure of what to do, He wanted to try and get up, But that man who did this to him had him pinned down by his foot on Yanqing's stomach, It was sure that the guy would leave a few more bruises on him before feeling satisfied .
There was a loud scream coming out of yanqing's dry throat when that bastard punched Yanqing on the stomach, Yanqing was tightly gripping on his own stomach, Trying so hard not to cry as he looked at that guy.
And that scream alerted The other cloud knights who were trying to find Yanqing by Jing yuan's order.
"shit." That bastard cursed as he ran away not to be seen by the cloud knights as he put on his knight uniform and that bastard ran away, Leaving Yanqing fully finished and traumatized.
And that's where Jing yuan found Yanqing as he followed the shout.
But Jing yuan immediately came to an abrupt stop when he saw Yanqing.
Covered in bruises, His hair messed up badly, Blood almost everywhere, Yanqing's tear-soaked face as yanqing looked at him, Jing yuan sweared to Aeons that he wouldn't vomit, And then there was a dry, Crying voice coming out of Yanqing.
"G-general?.." That was the only thing yanqing said, Before he Passed out into his exhaustion.
"Yanqing!." Jing yuan couldn't think of this, This was the last thing he wanted to imagine to happen to yanqing, He quickly rushed to the boy, He removed the hair coming on his eyes.
Thank Aeons that boy had just passed out, Or there could be worse casualties than that.
"Knights!, we found him!, Get him back to the Medical institution." Jing yuan ordered as he lifted up Yanqing in his arms.
That boy barely weighed alot, He was fit and all, Although he doesn't eat alot and jing yuan who's knows how many times he has scolded him to eat and not skip his meals.
TIMESKIP
Anger was already boiling inside Jing yuan as he watched Yanqing being operated by the Alchemy commission's healer Lady, Bailu.
The question on jing yuan's head was
'Who and why did they do this to him?.'
Jing yuan litterally would litterally kill the person and make sure they go even worse in the shackling prison, Maybe Jing yuan would but the balls of the guy and choke him with his own hands and feed the remains of the bastard to Mimi.
But for now, He just had to be there for Yanqing.
Slowly, Yanqing opens his eyes, He doesn't seem scared, But more relieved as he's out of that bastard's grasp, He doesn't even realise that Bailu's talking to him.
"heyyy!! Don't ignore me!." Bailu just pouts, As she stared at Yanqing, Yanqing looks at her.
"sorry.." Yanqing sighs.
"Are you okay?." Bailu asks
"...." Yanqing isn't sure how to respond, He doesn't want to worry Bailu, So he simply states "yea, Much better than before." Yanqing just puts on a small smile, Before staring at his hand again.
"Yanqing." there was the same familiar voice, Jing yuan, His eyes were softer, As he say down beside yanqing's bed.
yanqing has the feeling to cry as he say his (father) General, He wanted to tell what that bastard did to him.
"who.. did this to you?." Jing yuan said, As he held yanqing's other hand, Yanqing gulped and looked down, Not wanting to show his tears.
"I-im sorry General, I-i didn't know how to stop him, I know, I'm too weak." Yanqing admitted as tears feel down his eyes.
Jing yuan couldn't believe what yanqing just said to him, Yanqing was never weak, He is a child, A child with ambition to be the best, But that bastard who did this to him, Needed to be punished In the worst way possible, That guy tried to take Advantage of a Child, A FREAKING 14 YEAR OLD.
"Oh yanqing.." Jing yuan sighed, As he pulled the blonde boy into a hug, "it's not your fault and it was never your fault, you're still 14, I should also be the one to blame here to sending you with that cloud knight." Jing yuan said, As yanqing cried into his arms. "Who did this to you?." Jing yuan asked, As yanqing let out a voice. "A cloud knight named.... Xiun."(Yes I made up a name.)
Now jing yuan was clearly angry and wanted to punish that bitch called Xiun, He sweared if he sees Xiun, He will murder him alive and feed his remains to Mimi, Who would be very happy to Eat the meat.
But for now
He's happy that Yanqing's alright, He needs to recover, Mentally and physically.
-------END--------
Note : OMG MY HANDS ARE ACHING LITTERALLY FOR WRITING THIS FOR 3 HOURS STRAIGHT AND I HAVEN'T EATEN ANYTHING YET
I hope you enjoyed this part!! Let me know if you want an additional part of Jing yuan ruthlessly murdering that Bastard to did that to Yanqing!!
Sorry for any grammer mistakes and all, I hope you guys liked it! (Btw part 1 is in my Blog, Go read that before you read this!!!)
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yeyayeya · 1 month
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HuaYinXuan? HuaYinXuan…
Platonic or romantically, those three are stuck in my head
(Idk if that’s even their ship name or not, but sometimes I am unhealthy when I think about them)
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archersartcorner · 11 months
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The eepys… tryin to exercise my sketching hand again, been outta it for a hot second 😭
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