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#I started this at like 4 or 5 am yesterday?
megaawkwardhuman · 2 months
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the only reason you're still alive is cause I let you live
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yes yes I know this is the pilot and that's a season 3 quote BUT IT FITS OK?
this drawing oh THIS DRAWING
I thought hey I like fucking around with lighting and shading this is going to be fun
but oh boy
OOOOOOOH BOY
the amount of times I wanted to throw my laptop out of a window is far too many to count
goes to show that fuck it we ball ISN'T the best drawing philosophy to live by some times
below cut is the sketch that started it all
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lovvelorrn · 3 months
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i’m in between jobs atm + waiting for a phone call that may or may not be a super cool opportunity but rn i’m like. what do i do with my free time???
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n0ct0urn1quet · 1 year
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being an artist means you can draw literally whatever you want but it also means experiencing The Horrors from time to time
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oatbugs · 2 years
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i can feel every single nerve and organ and bone inside my body. an exercise in emptiness: what will the next thought in your head be?
#i feel like im going insane . went in the psych department w my friend again i decided to stop hating it for no reason except that its not#maths . why the fuck dont you study ? because the module name starts with a PS ? i need to love it without#feeling shame for myself . i feel like im gonna get into trouble with my university for prying open locked automatic doors at 1 AM but its#alright (that building is haunted anyway). its not about him but it is but it really isnt its about everything it means its about the way i#cant cry for myself the way i used to its the sadness and happiness and that im turning 20 soon and im going a little insane but im shocked#that i still have friends i love im shocked that i am loved im shocked that i dont feel disgusted thinking about him yet#(and ill look for a man to turn me into a hare just like you did when you did what you did)#when alt j 3ww said . f5 f6 f6 f5 f5#i constantly feel like my chest is about to explode and i have no idea why its a physical pain its great and also horrible#id like to rip out my ribcage and put a bird and some flowers inside it id like to rip out my sternum and pierce the thoughts with it#4 43 AM i have an exam about brains i stared at a vintage photo of a brain pinned and labelled i learned the names and positions of sulci#im learning about magic (action potentials) and gates inside your brain and every day i learn how hard your body tries to keep you alive#(his lips turn sharp when he smiles) (choking on flowers and music and fear) (feel every feeling inside my throat feel metal at the back#of my head) (i miss your hard edges i miss your bone marrow)#hypothesis : perhaps if i put my lips on someone elses lips and i dont let go of them for a few hours ill be okay#needle (sharp like the spice in what i made you) shooting 5 mg of haldol straight into the hypothalamus . gave myself a concussion and#since that night my head has been blooming . the violin today felt like liquid gold . moderato - spiritoso - the bow turned my heart inside#out . id like to scream and i have no idea why but one day i will turn my vertebrae into a bouquet of flowers for you all.#yesterday my boy with the beautiful hair looked at me and held me tight enough that i heard his heartbeat (or maybe it was mine)#for a second or two and i wish i could lean on him for this except his heart has been crushed by the mathematician discerning eyes#for a while and a half .#dyed your hair red i dyed your hair brown youre on my bed and your hand touches my hand and every day i am amazed by the way your mind#turns my guts and my heart inside out#for a second or two and i wish i could lean on his bony shoulders for this except his lungs have filled with water#for a while and a half . dyed your hair red i dyed your hair brown youre on my bed i stare at the grace of her hands you are evidence#that angels and pomegranate seeds and create the economist of our dreams . game theory and good actions by any other name .#she makes the sound the sea makes knee deep in the north sea
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wrecking · 10 months
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i’m going to just make a bunch of small posts in the tags bc i have like 15 thoughts and none of them really deserve to be full posts so like yeah
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snailgloo · 2 years
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i cant make proper saki birthday art cus arm hurt so here is my contribution
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newvegascowboy · 1 month
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Ive been awake for 20 minutes and i regret every second of it so far
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lqvesoph · 7 days
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She’s WHOSE daughter??? || LN4
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lando norris x webber!reader
summary: It’s race day in Australia…
warnings: smut, m receiving, swear words
This is the final part of this story, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy it!!
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4
masterlist | taglist
Part 5
Walking into the paddock the next day felt weird. You arrived with your father but quickly made your way to the Red Bull facility, not having spoken to your dad for the whole ride.
Mark looked after you, hesitant whether he should talk to you or leave you be for the moment. He quickly decided on the latter when he spotted Lando hurrying into the paddock, moving quickly towards Mclaren and only fake smiling at a few fans.
"Lando? Can I talk to you for a second?", he called, making the driver stop in his tracks. "Yeah?", Lando muttered. "Let’s go inside, yes?", Mark gestured to the door and away from all the prying eyes of the paddock.
"I want to talk to you about Y/n because she- well, she didn’t seem that happy yesterday and I figured that because you and her have some sort of relationship and the way you two looked yesterday, it must have something to do with you", he explained, watching how Lando crossed his arms.
"Mark, I‘m sorry but-", he started. "You don’t have to apologize, Lando. I think I know what’s happening here", Mark spoke. Lando looked down and stepped from one foot on the other.
"I figured this was on her not on you. I like you, Lando, you’re a nice guy and I can see you treating Y/n very well. If you want, I can talk to her", Mark offered, making Lando shake his head tho.
"Thank you for the offer but I think I should do this myself", he smiled, Mark giving a small smile in return.
"She‘s at Red Bull at the moment", your father told Lando, smiling and squeezing his shoulder.
Lando was about to text Max to let him know he was coming over but was whisked away by his engineering team to talk about the upcoming race.
When he was finally let go, it was almost time for the drivers parade.
"Lando come on!", Oscar called before the Brit wanted to hush out of the garage. He squeezed his eyes shut in annoyance but followed his teammates out on the track.
*~**~*
Even after the parade, he didn’t have time to come and find you as he was swept away immediately after to go over some final strategy discussions, put on his race suits and drive a few laps before the race would begin.
Lando internally cursed every single person who talked to him but tried his best to not let it show on the outside.
After having pulled up on P3, he got out of the car and searched for Zak. "I‘ll be back shortly", he let him known, receiving a nodded and a hard pat on the back. "The National Anthem starts soon."
Lando nodded and walked back through the garage and to the hospitality. He spotted you in front of Red Bull, talking to Kelly and Penelope.
He took a deep breath and walked over to the three of you. "Lando!!", P called, being the first to spot him and run over to him. He smiled and the little girl and leaned down to give her a hug.
"I saw you and Maxie on the track!", she told him overexcited. "You did? Was it good?", he chuckled and the girl nodded.
Then Lando looked up, seeing how Kelly and you watched the two of them. He got up, finding your eyes with his. "Can I talk to you for a second?", he asked, fiddling with the race suit, hanging low on his hips.
You looked over at Kelly, who gave you an encouraging nod and then back to Lando.
"Yeah, let‘s go", you agreed, following him up to his driver room.
"About yesterday-"
"What happened yesterday-"
"Sorry, you go first", you mumbled, fiddling with your sweaty hands. Lando cleared his throat. "I‘m sorry for the way I reacted yesterday", he said, pausing for a second which you used to speak up.
"You don’t have to apologize, I am at fault here", you admitted. "I should’ve told you the truth. You were right, I had countless of opportunities to tell you but I panicked every single time and I‘m truly sorry for this and I hope you can forgive me."
You didn’t notice Lando having stepped closer until he lifted your chin up. "I get it", he whispered, having gone over the words Oscar told him the day before almost the whole night. Your eyes found his, not quite believing the words coming out of his mouth.
"You‘re not supposed to get it, I don’t even get it", you replied humorless. Lando chuckled, putting his hand on your cheek and pulling you closer.
"Can I kiss you?"
You nodded slightly, looking down at his lips and back into his eyes before he pulled you in. The kiss was innocent and soft. Lando put his forehead against yours and smiled.
"Oscar came to my hotel yesterday and explained your motives", he admitted. You pulled back to look at him. "He did?", you asked surprised. Lando nodded. "Convinced me to talk to you", he said. "Oh Osc", you muttered.
Lando grinned and pulled you back in for another kiss. This one turning quickly into more than the shy one from before.
His hands started to roam over your body, one of them pulling you closer while walking backwards until your legs hit the edge of the physio bed.
Your hands gently pulled at the strands of his hair before one traveled lower to tug the zipper of his suit down, letting one hand find its way into his pants. You gently stroke over his hardening dick, making him groan into your mouth.
Lando placed kisses along your jaw and collarbone, just as you cupped his covered cock he softly bit down on your skin. A moan escaped your lips.
Revengefully you decided to palm his dick harder, making his breath hitch in return.
"Love, I-", he was interrupted by a moan. "I really want to continue but-", Lando’s head fell forward to your shoulder but not for long because you turned the two of you around and slowly sank down to your knees.
A loud moan escaped his lips at the sight of you kneeling before him. His fingers gripped the edge of the bed while his right hand gathered your hair in a pony tail-like hold.
His suit was already down to his knees but you quickly tugged down the black fireproofs and underwear, making his hard cock spring free and slap against his abdomen.
His tip leaking some precum already which you collected with your fingertip and took an early taste. "Please- just-", he breathed heavily, making you smirk at Lando’s light begging.
You wrapped your hand around the base of his cock before taking the tip in your mouth, slowly letting more and more of his length disappear into your mouth.
Lando groaned at the feeling of your warm wet mouth around him, trying his hardest not to slam in your mouth. You slowly started bobbing your head, taking more and more of his length each time.
Tears brimmed in the corner of your eyes when his dick hit the back of your throat. "Taking me so well, love", he muttered, having closed his eyes. His hand holding your hair guided you up and down his length but never forcing you to take more than you could.
He could feel himself getting close, the sensation of your mouth and your breath hutting his lower stomach each time you breathed out, piling up.
"I’m close, baby. You wanna swallow it?", he asked and was given an agreeing hum as a reply.
His breath was quickening, the fingers in your hair loosened its grip while his moans and praises became an incoherent mix. He let out a deep groan before burying himself deep into the back of your throat, ropes of cum shooting down your throat. You continued your movements up and down his length a few more times before releasing his softening cock and glancing up at Lando.
An exhausted but wicked smile graced his smile as he dragged his thumb along your mouth to wipe off your salvia and his cum.
Lando then pulled you up and placed a soft kiss to your lips.
"When do you have to be on the grid?", you whispered. "Uhm… about 5 minutes ago", he chuckled but didn’t let go of you.
"Well then hurry!!", you called, slapping the back of his head and started to dress him up again.
Lando chuckled and pressed one last peck to your lips before disappearing out of the door.
With a bright smile you let your fingers trail along your lips and followed Lando out of the hospitality.
Going back to the paddock, you decided to watch the race from Lando‘s garage, being met with your father at the entrance.
"Where‘ve you been?", he asked, a smug smile on his lips. "Uhm, why?", you tried to get out of answering. "Because Lando turned up late for the national anthem and I know he‘s been wanting to talk to you", you dad replied.
Your eyes widened but you tried to keep cool. "Uh- yeahhh, we… uh talked", you lied and turned around to walk over to Lando‘s side.
But you father didn’t let you go just yet. "Y/n?"
You turned around again, waiting for him to keep going. "If you‘re happy with him, I am happy", he smiled. Your heart softened. "I really am, dad", you answered.
He nodded and then reached forward for your cap. "Take this off before you go over there", he laughed, taking it off your head.
You let out a laugh before walking over to sit on an empty chair.
Max, Lando‘s best friend looked at you with a frown but didn’t say anything.
*~**~*
You gasped along with the rest of the garage when Max‘s car started to catch fire, sneaking your phone out from your bag to quickly text Kelly, asking her if Max and Little P are okay. She assured you that Max was fine and P didn’t quite understand what was going on and was simply sad that 'her Maxie' wasn’t racing anymore.
Towards the end of the race, your heart started beating faster. You watched as the mechanics ran over to the fence to cheer on Lando and stood up to clap along with the rest of the team inside the garage.
You quickly made you way out of the garage to reach the podium area as soon as possible and to not be squashed by the mass of people heading down there now.
You reached the fence just before Lando pulled up in front of the board. He jumped out of the car and walked over to his team, hugging various papaya dressed members.
Max and Pietra stood a few people down the fence, both hugging Lando when he came to them. Lando took off his neon helmet. Max leaned in to shot some words at Lando, who then snapped his head over to you. A big smile creeping on his face and he pressed his helmet in Max‘s hands to walk over to you.
Your grin grew the closer he came and you wrapped your arms around his neck as soon as he was close enough. "I‘m so proud of you", you muttered, feeling his hands squeezing your waist. He pulled back to look at you, his eyes finding yours and silently asking for permission. You nodded, giving him the go ahead.
The curly headed boy smiled before placing a soft kiss to your lips.
You giggled as you pressed your forehead against his. "Go and do your interviews and stuff so you can come back here as soon as possible", you whispered and placed another kiss to his lips before shooing him away to the Crofty who was already waiting for him.
"Congratulations on P3, another podium! How was it?", the British commentator asked. "It was a very good day for us. I‘m very happy, very proud of the team. A P3 and P4 is a lot of points in the championship so that‘s a first thing. I think our pace was strong enough for a P2 today but Charles undercut us. But anyway Ferrari and Carlos did a very good job, so hats off to them, they’ve been fast all weekend. To be completely honest I didn’t expect to be on the podium but it’s a nice surprise so I‘m very happy", Lando answered.
"I expect you on the podium! You looked incredibly fast out there", he replied which Lando answered with a smiling thank you. "Do you feel confident going into the next races, maybe scoring a few more podiums?" "Yes, of course, I mean this circuit suits us a little bit more so I could just really push but it‘s still another step to Ferrari and Red Bull, at the minute they are a step ahead for sure but it’s clear we are getting closer and a day like today proves exactly that. So, a big thanks to everyone at McLaren", Lando said, waving at his team.
"We‘ve also noticed a certain Australian lady by your side", Crofty smiled, making a grin sneak on Lando’s face. "Yeah?", Lando sneakily replied, turning to face the screen behind him as a replay of your hug and kiss was shown.
"Next time get her to show up in your color though", the british commentator joked. "Hey, it‘s quite the success to not see her in anything Red Bull related", Lando laughed, making you shake your head with a smile.
"I‘ll let you go now, congrats on the podium, Lando", he laughed making Lando laugh as well. He quickly thanked him and handed the microphone to a sky worker before walking over to you.
"You‘re not wearing anything to represent papaya", Lando called over, taking his cap off, pushing it down on your head and pulling you in for another kiss. You grinned into it, placing your hand on his on the steel fence.
"Just know, Oscar, Max and Daniel are going to hate you for this", you muttered. "Osc never got me to wear that horrendous colour."
"Hushh!!", Lando protested, shutting you up with a quick kiss. "I‘ll see you later."
You squeezed his hand before letting him go.
Lando chuckled and made his way over to the FIA official who showed him the way to the cool down room.
You couldn’t contain your smile when Lando walked out onto the podium, throwing your hands in the air and cheering and clapping as loud as you could. When he spotted you, his smile grew a little and he gave you a little wave.
Your dad presented Carlos‘ trophy but stopped in front of Lando for a second.
"Take care of her, alright?", Mark said as he shook Lando‘s hand. A smile crept on the face of the Brit. "I promise, I will", he grinned, his eyes finding yours the second you father stepped to the side.
You cheered and lifted both of your arms to wave at your boyfriend on the podium.
Lando could help but laugh, almost missing when the person with the trophy came to him.
He took the trophy in his right hand and raised it in the air, pointing a finger at you with the other hand.
"I love you", he mouthed, making your heart skip a few beats.
📍Albert Park, Australia
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tagged: landonorris, oscarpiastri, mclaren, ausgp
yn.adams: Weekend well spent
comments:
landonorris: My lucky charm🍀🧡
> yn.adams: 🧡🧡🧡
oscarpiastri: Hey at least I’m there once…
> fan: Oscar went from “Why am I only shown once??” to “at least I’m shown” CRYING LMAOOO
aussiegrit: Have I lost you to the UK now as well?
> yn.adams: Well…
> yn.adams: Maybe even Monaco as well🤭
maxverstappen: Do you want to make my day worse than it already is?
> yn.adams: I’M SORRY MAX
redbullracing: The betrayal…
fan: HARD LAUNCH
fan: Guys we lost her…
> yn.adams: Nooo, I promise you didn’t. Once a rbr girly always a rbr girly
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Thank you for the unbelievable support you all have shown me on this fic!! I hope you like the final part (even though it took my ass ages to finish) Stay tuned for more fics, you can always sent requests or just chat with me if you want/need to <3
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hellfire--cult · 8 months
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Edit of Eddie: Sofiiel
Stripper!Eddie x Shy!Fem!Reader
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 (end)
WC: 11.1k
⚠️ +18 MDNI, Stripper!Eddie, nervousness, fluff, self doubt, flirting, soft touches, mentions of vomit, skin on skin contact, kissing, kissing with tongue, pining, sexual tension, angst, anxiousness, self-deprecating thoughts, low self-esteem, panic attack hinting, nausea, dizziness, miscommunication
Plot: You thought you were cursed with your shyness, but after one embarrassing night, you decide it's time to change, and you believe someone might be able to help with that.
Summary: The morning after came, the need for a talk is there, a new realization, new found feelings... as well as the gears going back to the starting line.
A/N: I am sorry.
You can always support me by hitting the reblog button with tags, and I always enjoy reading your comments!
Taglist is closed - Follow me for updates and put notifications on!
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PART 7
The sound of a bird chirping caught your ear as you slowly gained your senses back, a soft whine staying in your throat as you rustled slightly in your place. There was so much warmth, making you sigh in complete happiness, as the body next to you held you even closer, his soft snores hitting the top of your head, the smell of his cologne that still lingered–
Body holding you close?
Your eyes snapped open like plates, being met with a bare chest in front of you as it slowly raised up and then back down, tattoos splattered on his skin, tattoos you recognized now. Your heart picked up a pace as you slowly, without moving too much, pulled your head off his chest to finally look up. Your breath was caught in your throat, a squeal wanting to come out as you saw Eddie’s sleeping face, his hair all over the pillow.
Your mouth fell open as you moved your legs slightly, feeling the soreness that now resides in between them. You needed to move away from him because you had to collect yourself. You had to think. You had to process whatever happened yesterday and you were beginning to breathe heavily and you really didn’t want to wake him up, not yet. 
You closed your mouth, trying to hold your breaths in as much as you could as you slowly started to wiggle out of his grasp, earning a scrunch of his nose and a groan. You tensed up when you moved, but he rolled off you in his sleep, laying on the other side of the bed with a soft sigh. You held your hand to your chest, feeling it almost ripping out from it with every thump. Your belly was turning, almost painfully as you raised yourself from his arm that was wrapped around you seconds ago, and probably was numb from being under your body the whole night.
You stared at his bare chest, your blankets covering until they met on his hips, and that’s when you realized you were stark naked, looking down at your body that– Oh god… You had hickies. You almost squealed but you threw a hand over your mouth, holding the noise in. You really had to go and collect yourself, because you needed to go through the events from yesterday and try to calm yourself before he wakes up because you two would definitely have a talk.
And that was the problem, about what?
You slowly took the blankets off your legs and swung them to the side, and you winced slightly at the soreness on your inner thighs. It’s been way too long since you… Since you had sex. Shit, you had sex. You slept with Eddie, your friend Eddie. Just because of a split second of horniness. You stood up before you screamed and looked around to find something that didn’t require you to open your closet in order to not make any noise.
You gulped as you grabbed onto your white cotton panties that you had taken out yesterday but decided on the black set. Where’s the bra? You can’t find it, and the only things you have are the black dress from yesterday, which is a no, a pair of gym shorts that you use for bed, and an oversized white shirt. Those two will have to do, at least for now, so you could run away from the room as soon as possible.
You grabbed onto the garments and threw them on carefully in order to not stumble and trip and probably make a fool out of yourself in front of the guy you slept with a few hours ago. You felt your face burn at that while you pulled the shirt over your head and your breathing was coming out in heavy amounts from your mouth and you quickly tiptoed out of the room, and closed the door behind you making as little noise as possible.
You let the breath that was in your lungs finally leave your body as you stepped away from your door as if it were on fire. Okay, you were alone now, Eddie is naked in your room, in your bed, because you two slept together yesterday night. Your hands ran over your face and pulled your hair back, gripping your scalp tightly, feeling your intestines just twisting all about, heart in your throat and the flow of your blood very loud in your ears. 
You started pacing back and forth, taking deep breaths as you started to think. What did this all mean? You acted out of instinct, out of urges. What were you? An animal? But Eddie didn’t seem to mind, he actually went in for more with you, didn’t he? You made all the moves of course, which you still don’t know how or why you did that, but you did and he followed. 
But what now? What is going to happen now? You crossed the line, this isn’t just a friendship anymore, friends don’t fuck eachother, at least, not your normal type of friendships don’t. How are you going to explain yourself? What if he asks why you did what you did yesterday? What are you going to tell him? ‘Hey, I realized that I am heavily attracted to you.’
Sure, that is true, but what would that mean between the two of you? What are his feelings about this and… how did he feel yesterday? Were you enough? Were you good? He seemed to enjoy himself, but you didn’t really do much, so did he like it? Did he really want to do that with you? 
“Fuck…” You were biting on your thumb’s skin next to your fingernail again. You really don’t know what is going on, you really have no idea how to move from this. This is the first time you actually felt good while having sex, and you really never in your life experienced what he did to you yesterday. Your eyes widened as you stood in place, eyes widening as another curse left your lips.
The burning in your belly was back.
How was this not enough? You went all the way with him, with a man you are actually attracted to, so why are you still yearning for more? It made no sense, and how your body reacts to the memory of him in between your legs is absolutely ridiculous. You looked at the door once, licking your bottom lip as your mind became slightly hazy again.
Maybe you can act normally? Just, go back into his arms in bed, see where that takes you, see him as he wakes up and smiles at you, and you two would probably talk about the fries from yesterday night and how you didn’t get actual dinner. He would ask for some pancakes again, and then you would gladly make them.
He would like that right? Waking up with breakfast? You can do that, just normally, like the other day you were at his home. Everything was normal after that, and everything can be normal after last night. You can do this. It’s going to be completely fine, you just don’t have to think too much about it, and maybe he won’t either. You took a deep breath in and walked towards your kitchen to start on preparing some coffee and then start grabbing the ingredients for your chocolate chip pancakes. 
You were taking deep breaths, trying to concentrate on your cooking. Eggs, milk, flour, chocolate chips in. You froze. You put the chocolate chips into the batter. Just how he likes it. Stop thinking. Stop thinking. Stop thinking. Your guts turned again as you kept stirring the batter, over and over again, the gears in your head making you dizzy as the thoughts started reappearing again.
He is going to wake up soon, what are you going to say? Act normal, that’s what you settled on, but now you don’t remember what normal is. How is normal after this? What is normal about any of this? It’s not. It’s definitely not normal to sleep with your friend. Are you going to keep being friends? Oh, what if he doesn't even want to be friends? How are you going to be able to handle that?
The smell of coffee snapped you out again and you looked down at the batter, letting a breath come out of your lips to finally put the pan on the stove. You grabbed onto one of your plates as you started cooking the pancakes, trying to just focus on making them the perfect shape, cooking them just right, letting the air be filled with the sweet smell–
“Shit darling, that smells good.” 
You froze on your fourth pancake, with the spatula underneath it about to turn it over. Your heart was in your throat now, maybe your ears, you didn’t know, but there was a sharp noise ringing in your eardrums, blocking any sounds coming from around you, including Eddie’s steps that were being taken towards you. 
He was now behind you, you could feel his presence on your back, your chest heaving up and down as you stared down, not noticing that the pancake was starting to burn already. You couldn’t move, you didn’t want to look at him, you didn’t know what to say, how to act, how to move, and your body simply grew into a cold sweat, your hand trembling with the utensil still in your grasp.
Eddie has actually been awake the moment you made him roll over in the bed. He kept his eyes closed because his heart was in his throat, and he knew he had to give you time. He knew he had to leave you alone to gather your thoughts on what happened, and he couldn’t simply dive in and envelop you again, even if that was what he wanted the most. Once you were out of the room, he sat up too quickly and ran his hands through his hair as his eyes stared widely on the comforters of the bed.
He slept with you. The thing he didn’t believe to happen at all, happened, which was you showing him what you wanted to do with him. You had the guts that he didn’t have. You made the first moves, all of them, and his mind and self control completely shut off last night, but so did yours. He felt his south area beginning to harden again as he remembered last night, your body, your taste, and he didn’t even do head. He almost never did, but he was desperate for you last night, and he still is. 
When you started losing yourself to your lust against him, he really thought he had gone to heaven at that very moment. He could have died a happy man yesterday after what happened, but then he wouldn’t get more. He wouldn’t be able to taste you again, to feel you again, to hold you again, and he wanted to, crazily so. He wasn’t going to let this be a one time thing, and he needed to tell you just that, but he knew you were processing yourself right now, after all, it was the first time you had acted out of impulse to your urges.
He held back a grin as he bit his bottom lip, dropping his hands on the bed. You let go with him, which meant, hopefully, that you reciprocated what he was feeling. You weren’t a friend, not anymore. He didn’t want you to be. He actually had decided, selfishly so, to not be your friend any longer almost a month ago. It had hit him like a train really, not even thinking that you would crawl under his skin the way you did, but the more time he spent with you, the more time you two talked about each other, and to be even interested in one another’s life stories, he knew he was a goner.
His head snapped towards the door as he heard you pacing around the living room and his gut turned with nervousness as his fingers trembled with the need of going and console you, to tell you what he was feeling, to tell you that everything is just fine, and he wishes he could tell you that everything is okay and that nothing changes… But he can no longer say that. There was no way he was letting you go this time, he wasn’t going to pretend to be normal, he wasn’t going to pretend like you didn’t kiss him fucking stupid last night, he wasn’t going to pretend like he didn’t have the best night of his life just a few hours ago.
Minutes later, his nose caught the smell of coffee, and then a sweet smell. Pancakes. You were making him pancakes. He smiled widely at that, because despite you probably having a breakdown, or being nervous right now, you still decided to make breakfast for him. He took a deep breath in, getting up from the bed to throw on his boxers and pants, looking over at his shirt. If he dresses himself, fully, he was afraid of you thinking that everything was done with, and it was anything but. Shirtless it is. 
So now, he stands behind you, noticing how stiff you got, and the smell of burnt pancake filled his nostrils. His hand raised up to slowly graze over your wrist that was holding the spatula, and you almost jumped at the touch, but he held onto your wrist instantly, pulling it up so that the pancake would lift from the pan and throwing it on the plate next to the stove. He could almost hear your breathing from how hard it was, and truly, he was holding his own back in order to not make you any more nervous. 
His eyes then darted towards the bowl with batter in it, and he almost looked away when he noticed you had put the chocolate chips inside it this time, instead of sprinkling them on top of the pancake while it was cooking. The corner of his lip turned upwards at the gesture, and his chest puffed up with pride and with hope but for now, he had to snap you back into reality, because you were still frozen in his hold.
“Angel… It’s just me.” Those three words that always seemed to calm you for some reason, those three words that simply made all your nerves go away, even if little. Knowing it was just Eddie, knowing he wasn’t there to judge you, or criticize you, or call you out, but just be there for you, with you. You took a big gulp while you gripped onto the spatula even harder. 
“I–” No words were coming out. There was no way you could talk at this moment, because you actually didn’t know what to say, where to start, or how to even begin to describe what you were feeling or what you were thinking, but it seems you didn’t have to think too hard, because he was already blabbering, getting hold of the bowl with some batter left.
“See? It’s less messier when you already put the chocolate chips in.” You blink dumbly at his words, looking at the bowl. He tipped some in the pan, and his tongue stuck out from the corner of his mouth as he stuck his finger in the batter and dragged more chocolate chips into that specific pancake. That actually made you snap out.
“Don’t touch the batter with your fingers!” You exclaim at him as you wiggle the pan a bit to get all the edges with the mix. You heard him chuckle next to you as he set the bowl down.
“It needed more chocolate chips! That’s mine by the way.” He said pointing at the pancake that was already cooking and it was more chocolate than the mix. You rolled your eyes at his childishness. He stuck his finger inside his mouth, licking the batter off it.
“More chocolate chips next time, got it.” You said almost in a groan but he didn’t miss the ‘next time’ part. His mind went places. Waking up with you next to him, cuddling until midday, both of you not getting out of bed even if you needed to pee and only till your bellies grumbled that you two would get up to go make some pancakes together, laughter filling the kitchen as he shoves way too many chocolate chips in the mix and you yell at him for being too reckless. 
“I’m feeling fancy for next time, maybe add some blueberries in it? Or, hear me out… marshmallows.” He says and you cringed at the sweetness of it all, but also a small giggle came out of your throat as you flipped the pancake on the pan. 
“That’s a s'mores pancake… You can literally just have S’mores.” You say and you hear him chuckle next to you, as he walks towards the coffee pot, and sees that you had already prepared two empty cups to pour the liquid in. He filled his cup in black coffee, but yours only half. He walked towards your fridge to get your vanilla creamer out, and finally filled the rest of your coffee with it. You didn’t miss the gesture, a strong heat invading your belly and cheeks. 
“It’s not the same! The S’mores have biscuits. Pancakes are fluffier, imagine how much fluffier they would be with marshmallows inside. Honestly, I think we’re onto something here sweetheart.” You flip the pancake onto the stack you had next to the stove and turn it off because you believed five pancakes were fine for the two of you. “Or maybe we can add some mint in them.”
That made your mouth drop open, your head snapping to your side to look at him with widened and disgusted eyes, but you froze again when you saw him. The back of his hip was resting on the counter as he looked at you with a smile to his face, one hand holding a mug, the other was handing you yours. You didn’t realize that you were talking normally to him until now. How did Eddie do it? Every single time? 
“T-Thanks…” You say as you look down from his eyes but it was a bad idea. He was shirtless. Oh, the fucking flashbacks. Your whole body heated up at the memories of your nails going all over his skin, all over his chest, all over his arms. You took a large gulp out of your coffee and you clenched your eyes at the taste. It was the perfect measurement. 
“I had to bring your despise for mint for you to look at me.” He lets out with a small chuckle, taking a sip of his own coffee. You blinked down at your cup, not really knowing where to go from here. Should you apologize? Should you tell him that he should forget about it? But why would you say something so hypocritical when you didn’t want to forget about it? 
“I– I– just don’t know–” You tried to say out loud but your throat went dry at those few words, making you take more sips out of your mug, and he sighed, taking one last sip of his, putting his cup on the counter. 
“Tell me what you’re thinking Angel. I need to know what you’re thinking.” And how do you even begin? You don’t even know what you feel, you don’t even know if it was right, if it was wrong, but the only thing you knew, is that you desired Eddie, that you were attracted to him in ways that not even god could define. But you won’t tell him that, because that’s when you would crawl into a hole and disappear from the world.
“I– I really don’t know– Yesterday… I never–” You blabbered, stuttered, and he was being patient as he looked at you, hands trembling with the cup in between them. He felt his chest about to explode but he still waited, wanting to hear you, to understand you, but he knew your mind was just a jumbled mess, he can hear it in the tremble on your voice and in the way your eyes were going back and forth as if looking for an answer somewhere.
He raised his hand up to place it on the cheek that was not facing him, and you immediately froze again. He leaned down and forward to press a soft kiss on the cheek facing him this time, and your body felt like it melted away, your bones going all soft and wiggly on you, a sigh escaping your lips at the touch of his lips on your skin. For some reason, this gesture made some of the black clouds move away from your mind, leaving some space for clarity, for you to slowly turn your head to face him again as he pulled away from you, his thumb caressing your cheek in gentle circles.
“Do you regret it? Because let me tell you darling, I sure as hell don’t.” Even if your heart wanted to burst into a million pieces from how hard it was beating, your eyes still widened at his words, surprise taking all over your features.
“Y-You don’t?” You asked with a hint of confusion in your tone as well. He licked his lips as his throat closed up on him, but he gulped it down so that he could keep talking. You were just too beautiful right now, looking up at him with those eyes that he adored. 
“I did mean what I said yesterday.” He says and you tilt your head at that, trying to remember everything that was said at the bar, or when you walked your way to it with him, and he smiled at you, pulling his hand off your face, grabbing the mug out of your hands and placing it on the counter next to his. Your eyebrows knitted together at that, looking at the cup leaving your grasp.
“Why—” You began to ask, but when you looked back up at him, your mouth immediately closed, seeing the serious face he had on. It made your heart jump slightly as well as your stomach, not knowing how his smile turned into this serious look. His hand raised to pinch on the side of your shirt with his fingers and tugged you in front of him, almost making you stumble at the sudden jerk. He then pressed that same hand on your waist, firmly, while the other raised up to gently hold your cheek to make you look up at him.
“You have no idea for how long I’ve wanted last night to happen.” He says while looking down at you, his eyes searching for yours as a gasp was caught in your throat, your body heating up at his words and your head was about to look down, but he held you in place, shaking his head at you. “No, keep looking at me.” 
“B-But I didn’t do— I didn’t do anything—” He shook his head again, your eyes trying to avoid his as you talked, now your chest thumping wildly, blood pumping everywhere in your body at a very accelerated pace, and you didn’t notice how your voice was trembling and how you were slowly beginning to shake in his grasp.
“I need you to calm down baby… It’s really just me.” He gave small circles on your cheek, which made your eyes look back at him, your mind going blank. He wanted last night to happen? He wanted to sleep with you? Many questions were going through your mind but only one was voiced out.
“We had sex.” His eyebrows raised up in surprise, a smile appearing on his lips, dimples showing off, but you were still completely bewildered as you blinked at him, your mind just trying to work overtime now for you. “You-You saw me naked, I saw you naked—” 
“Pretty necessary for having sex Angel.” He says with a laugh this time, and that only made your brain simply burn off, steam coming off the top of your head. You gulped as his laughter slowly tuned down, the turning in your belly and the doubt in your mind now cooperating to formulate another question.
“Why— Why with me?” You managed to ask, and that made Eddie’s laugh completely turn off, only for you to continue. “I-I’m just… not—” And he knew who you were comparing yourself to. The clients in the club stood no chance against you, they really didn’t, but you didn’t believe that. He weighed his options, and he decided it would be better to show you.
“You’re not what?” His hand left your cheek to mimic his other one, pressing on your waist, now firmer than before, and he pulled your body flush into his, and your eyes widened up at him. He leaned down close to your ear, his breath hitting your skin, sending shivers down your spine as the fire in your belly ignited once more. “Feel what you do to me by just standing in your kitchen in an oversized white shirt.” 
Against your belly was the same hardness you felt yesterday night on your hip. The one you felt rubbing itself against your center. The one you felt against your thigh when he climbed over towards you. And now, you didn’t have the dress on, your makeup was smudged and you cleaned it up with your fingers as much as you could, you probably smell like sweat… and he still wants you.
He couldn’t help himself, being close to your ear, to your skin, and his mouth instantly pressed a gentle kiss under your earlobe, a gasp coming out of your lips as the touch left your skin burning. You should ask him, you should talk to him, stop and try to think for a second, but that was the problem right now, you didn’t want to, and it seems that he didn’t either. 
His kiss trailed down towards your neck, soft lips pressing against your pulse point, and your hands raised up shakily to hold onto his biceps, fingernails digging into his skin, and his own digits dug into your waist, trying to have a cable back to earth, but his self control was slipping away again the more he took your scent in, the more he tasted you again on his lips. 
More. More. More.
Now that chant was on repeat in his mind as well, at the same time it was happening in yours. He was repeating your actions from yesterday, letting himself go, his mouth doing the work for him, not a single thought running in his head except for the need to hold you again, just running his lips on your skin again.
“I really mean it…” He mumbled in your neck, more kisses being left there as he kissed his way from one side to the other, making your head turn with soft breaths escaping your mouth which was making his brain simply scramble into nothing. “You have no idea for how long I’ve wanted you.” 
His voice was low, and your belly was burning with need again, your hands slowly trailing over his biceps to rest one hand on his shoulder, the other around his neck, pulling him into you, making his kisses turn hungrier, not being able to hold it and sucking on your skin to mark you, to leave you the reminder that this happened between you both, for you to look at it at every hour today, and tomorrow, and he wishes that by the end of today he would be able to retrace his mark again and again, not letting it fade at all, even if weeks went by. 
“Eds—” You softly mumble as a moan escapes your lips, your eyes half lidded as you bathe in his attention. You heard a soft groan against your skin, only for the warmth that was there to simply vanish as he pulled away from you. Before you could complain, before you could ask, before the gears in your brain could start working again, his lips found yours, making your nails grip onto his shoulder even tighter.
He was hungry, and it wasn’t for the pancakes, and he made it known by how he instantly started moving his lips against yours, rough, yet with deepness, with care, swallowing your breaths into his mouth, taking everything he could from you. You didn’t even had time to process what was happening, except for your desire to start talking for you as well, and your brain was simply processing the words ‘Fuck it’.
You started returning his kiss in the same manner, the hand on his neck going to his nape to pull him even deeper into you, your other hand sliding off his shoulder to rub against his bicep and he groaned into you, your touch making his gut turn in excitement, in nervousness, in need, just by you scratching your nails on his skin, not even on an erogenous zone. He sort of cursed you in his head for the way you made him feel like putty in just two seconds and with just one touch.
He ran his tongue over your bottom lip, and your mouth instantly invited him in, a moan of yours escaping into his as his tongue pressed against yours. You felt him even harder against your belly, making the heat in your center reappear at an alarming rate, almost too hot for you to handle. Now that you knew what he could do to you, this burning was even worse than before. It was much, much worse, but you didn’t hate it, you didn’t dislike it and you didn’t want to push it away.
His hands finally moved from your waist, and you gasped into the kiss as you felt his fingertips gliding underneath the hem of your shirt, pulling it up as he finally pressed his hand against your bare back, flushing you into him, and you shivered at how big his palm was against you, how hot it felt, but another gasp escaped you when you felt his other hand cup the round of one of your cheeks, now pressing you against his bottom half even harder.
He moaned in his throat and you melted at the sound, your tongue still dancing with his as his hands pressed against you, rubbed, groped, simply felt as if wanting to remember every part of your skin and body, on how your skin was soft yet warm under his palms. Your minds were filled with one another, not wanting to separate at all, and he needed you again, screw the pancakes, he can eat those later, right after he has you.
He had to guide you to your bedroom, you need to know how much he wants you still, how much he will want you after, and the days to come, and he is certain he is not going to ever get tired of you, not when you taste like this, when you feel like this, when you burn like this. 
He pushed himself off the counter, ready to begin to guide you back to where you both woke up minutes ago. You were going to let him, your belly turning anxiously as you let yourself wanting him again, and maybe this time you can try to make him feel good too. You want to really make him feel good, just like he did yesterday and the other night. You were eager to learn what he liked, eager to hear him moan because of what you do to him, and you never in your life thought you would be eager to do something like that before.
The music of Master of Puppets suddenly filled the room and your eyes opened like plates.
You two pulled away, brows furrowed together as you both looked around to where it was coming from. Eddie finally spotted his jacket on the floor, just where he left it yesterday and he cursed under his breath. He had to let you go to actually answer the phone. 
“Hang on sweetheart.” He gave you a small peck on the lips before letting go of your body, and you just stood there, frozen as you felt the cold hitting your skin again. What happened? How did you go from making pancakes to almost having sex with him once more? How did that happen in such a short lapse of time?
He grabbed his jacket from the floor, grimacing slightly at it because he just left a wet patch on the floor, not letting it dry properly so it was still kind of wet in some folds. He dug into his pocket for his phone, pulling it out to look at the caller ID. He blinked a few times at it and when he didn’t answer is when you turned your head to look at him.
“Eds…?” You called him out, almost breathlessly and he turned to look at you with a small smile on his face.
“I have to get this Angel, I’ll be back.” You watched him put the jacket on the counter to then go back into your room, closing the door behind him. Your breath finally left your lungs, the burning calming down slightly, but not quite. You gulped heavily as you licked your lips, and you knew they were red and plump from the kissing you just did. You couldn’t help but feel… Happy. That’s how you felt, a small smile appearing on your lips.
You didn’t mind your mind shutting off when it came to him, you really didn’t. But the uneasiness of not knowing what all of this meant came back, but not because he was not clarifying it with you. It was because you weren’t being clear with yourself. What did this all mean? Why were you like this? Was this really how simple attraction felt like?
Your ear picked up movement in your room, and you really didn’t want to eavesdrop, but you really couldn’t help yourself, and it only took two steps for you to listen to Eddie’s low voice through the door. Even when he wanted to speak in whispers he was loud.
“Yeah, I heard you… I forgot about today, but I can— Yeah…— Okay, see you later then–.” 
You blinked at those words, brows knitting together in confusion. Who was he talking to? You heard more shuffling and you panicked, not wanting him to know you were listening to his conversation and you went back towards the pancakes, now cold and you pretended to prepare a plate for you to put one on when you heard the door open. Your blood pumped in your veins in a wildly manner as you turned to see Eddie with his turtleneck on, boots thumping on your floor as he mumbled curses under his breath. 
“Are you alright?” It was the first question that popped in your head, because he didn’t look happy at all, and seeing him in his clothes again made your mood instantly drop, realizing that he was leaving. 
“Yeah– Um… I have to go… Steve needs me to take him somewhere– Kind of forgot about it.” He says to you with a small smile to his face, almost forced and you stood still in your place, not really knowing what to do. He saw your hesitation, so he took the steps between the both of you, his hands cupping your face, leaning down to place a soft peck on your lips. Your breath hit his face as he pulled away, but lingered over your lips, and you couldn’t help but voice out the first question that came to mind.
“You really have to go?” And Eddie wanted to die right then and there. You didn’t want him to leave, but fuck, he had to go. His knees almost buckled at your voice yet, he nodded with a saddened look on his face.
“Yeah… But we’ll talk later okay? We really do need to talk… Right Angel?” Your eyes locked with his at those words, and your face flushed in a way that wasn’t because of embarrassment, but just pure adoration. You nodded, almost dumbly at his words, making a smile appear on his lips. He gave you a peck on your lips again, not really wanting to go without his dose and he has to quickly pull away before he gets distracted with you once again. 
He pulled away from you and you felt your body completely warm now, not even cold, not even if he pulled away from you. He grabbed onto his jacket with one hand and walked towards the door, opening it to then look towards the counter. He rushed back to grab onto two full pancakes, shoving them in his mouth, the rest still sticking out, making your eyes go wide, afraid he’ll choke.
“Eddie!” He smiled at you with the pancakes between his teeth, winking at you before doing a little jog out of the door, closing it behind him, finally leaving you alone in your home. 
Your hands immediately went towards your mouth, covering it to contain your screams, afraid that he was still out there. You were feeling so many things at one single moment. Nervousness, fear, happiness, indecisiveness, embarrassment, delight, and arousal. All of that was happening in one single moment which was making your heart rate pick up even more than before.
You were going to have a stroke by the end of the day, you knew that. And he wants to talk. What does he want to talk about? What are you supposed to talk about? What are you supposed to say? To feel? How do you even start the conversation with him? What is going to be your new normal? What did you want it to be?
You absentmindedly grabbed onto one pancake and took a bite out of it, only to spit it out onto the plate in disgust. 
It was the burnt one.
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He hasn’t spoken to you all day, and that made you anxious. It’s already 7 PM, and it’s his day off, so he should be available, right? You could message him, but what do you even want to say? Hi? How are you? How was your day?
There is no way you could be normal with this, you can’t act normal, not when you had to actually clean your room after yesterday’s night. Not when you discovered the ball of paper on the night table that wasn’t yours, only to open it up and find the used condom inside, and that made your memories just hit you like a car at great speed, almost knocking you over.
How can you act normal after that?
Your phone started ringing, the ringtone of The Shire started going off and your heart leaped, and you rushed from your room towards your kitchen where the noise was coming from, grabbing it from the counter, only for your face to frown into a disappointed one seeing it was Robin. That made you feel a little bit guilty, but you couldn’t help yourself. Not when you’ve been waiting all these hours for him to talk to you again. You slid the button to answer her, her face coming up on the screen, a big smile on her lips.
“Hi Rob–”
“SHE SAID YES!” That startled you, completely, almost throwing the phone to the floor. You blinked a few times as you regained the posture, as Robin’s blabbering kept going on the phone and you raised a hand towards your camera to stop her.
“Robs, Robs– I don’t understand a word you’re saying, where are you?” You frowned at seeing her on what appeared to be the mall, just walking while talking to you.
“Vickie said yes to my date!” She says excitedly and your chest warms up with joy, a smile spreads on your lips as you start bouncing in your place, and she mimics you, both of you looking completely dumb but you didn't care, nor did she.
"Holy shit!" You yell with her as you spin in your place and she laughs, a vibrant blush on her cheeks as she looks at you.
"I know!" She yells again and probably caught the attention of many people that were walking near her and you hear her say a small 'sorry' to someone, making you giggle.
"How did it happen?" You asked her, going to sit on your couch, excitement clear in your voice. She was still with a smile on her face, almost crazy looking, making you laugh at her face.
"She called me to ask me about something; I really don't even remember what it was, I think it was something about a recipe? Anyways, at the end of it I just– She just looked too pretty, you have no idea, and I blurted it out." You covered your mouth with your hand as shock washed over you. You never really imagined Robin to be straightforward, but it seems she bursted at the seams.
"Wow Robin… Why are you in the mall? When is it? Where are you both going?" The questions blurted out of your mouth like a machine gun, making Robin blush even more.
"We are going to the movies tonight, and I am getting something different than what I always wear, because I realized all my clothes look the fucking same, and maybe– Do I get her some roses? Chocolates? I’ve never been on a formal date, I don’t know how this works, I am losing my mind–”
“Robin, Jesus calm down, I bet that Vickie doesn’t care, she already said yes to a date, knowing it wasn’t a friendly outing.” You tell her and she seemed to calm down with that, giving you a soft nod as if in understanding.
“You are right… God, I just– I just like her so much…” You can see Robin’s dreamy eyes as she enters one of the stores, scanning all of the clothes that might be there, but your mind starts to wander. Robin didn’t know anything, not even that you kissed Eddie. Maybe she did because she’s friends with Steve, but she never really said anything about it… But–
“Robs?” You call out to her, heart thumping in your ears as you let your words come out of your mouth.
“Yeah?” She was still looking above the camera, and you could hear the hangers simply moving from side to side as she browsed. You cleared your throat and licked your lips, stammering a bit in your words as you tried to word your thoughts without giving yourself away.
“How do you even know it is not a simple attraction? What you feel for Vickie.” You say to her, biting on your tongue almost as the nerves in your belly started spiraling as she looked quizzically down at the phone.
“What?”
“I never experienced it, so– I mean, liking someone is simply being attracted to them, right?” 
“Oh honey, no.” You sat frozen at that, blinking at the phone, your whole body just completely still on your couch as you processed her words. What? When you didn’t answer, she continued talking. “You start with attraction, then it develops into something else.”
Your heart picked up a pace again, and the hand holding the phone was growing quite the sweat. What did she mean by that? Why does it feel like she is saying something that you needed to hear? Why does it feel like she is caging you? 
“And how do you even know that?” You manage to ask, and your mind for some reason is afraid of the answer. Afraid to finally come to terms with something you thought it was going to be impossible for you. 
“Well, you are still attracted to them, but… You want to know about them, wake up with them by your side… I don’t know, I guess– When you are with them, and you can laugh afterwards, but still want them later on… You just want— More.”
Your eyes widened as plates at that, heart finally coming to a stop.
More. More. More.
“Oh god…” You let those words come out as a soft breath, Robin not really hearing you, too busy finding a shirt for her date, while you were having a complete breakdown on this discovery of yours. You found the word for your feelings. The word that scares you even at the deep of your gut. The word that you don’t even know if it’s reciprocated, and you are scared to even know if it is.
And now you came to realize that it’s not recent. It’s not something that happened after the first kiss even. Even when he hugged you, you always wanted more. When he held your hand, you always wanted more. When he laughed with you and you didn’t want it to ever stop, you just wanted more. It was never enough, it could never be enough, not when it came to him. You were screwed.
You fell for Eddie. Deeply. 
Your body trembled with realization, with desperation to have him back with you because now that you know what name to put on your feelings, you just felt this incredible need of having him, shower him with affection, not even be nervous around him, you just needed to hold him again, kiss him again, touch him again, spend time with him again. 
You were nervous, anxious even, but there was still hope in your heart, hope that he feels the same for you, hope that he wants you more than just friendship. He wants to talk to you about what happened yesterday, he wants to talk it out and now you know where you are headed. Now you know how to start the conversation. Now you know what to tell him. 
“Hey, you there?” You hear Robin, making you snap completely out of your thoughts, blinking rapidly at the screen. Your friend had a small smirk on her lips, or you thought she had it, because it fell down as soon as you looked at the camera.
“Y-Yeah, I just– I remembered I have to um… get some ingredients for today’s dinner. I have nothing in my fridge.” You manage to blurt out the lie, but in your head you were already making plans, not being able to hold your words back, knowing where to go now.
“Oh, then if it’s that… Go to the grocery store… I’ll tell you everything after my date, okay?” Robin had a knowing smile on her face as she spoke to you and you really wanted to question her if she knew, but it was going to be a conversation that would take too long and you needed to run out of your apartment right at this very second.
“Yeah! I hope everything goes well Robs!” You say quickly, kind of feeling guilty for squashing over your friend’s success but it seems as if Robin didn’t really mind it, waving at you.
“Hopefully! Talk to you later!” And you said a soft ‘bye’ and hung up the call. You blinked a few times at the phone. Should you call him? Tell him– No, he has his day off. Your legs started working again as your breathing became erratic with emotion, with excitement, never in your life feeling this way before.
You finally know what everyone meant when they talked about crushes, and love. You never felt that excitement, never felt that interest, never really believed they were telling you the truth about it, but now you know it is, because your heart was exploding but in such a good way, in a perfect way that only Eddie managed to do. 
Your feet took you to your room to throw on a pair of jeans, changing from your pajama pants, and then a random shirt, changing it from your oversized shirt that you were still wearing since the morning because it still held Eddie’s scent. His perfume stuck to the collar of the fabric and you whimpered when you took it off, but you had to be quick. You almost fell on your ass when you wiggled yourself forcefully into your sneakers.
You didn’t even grab your purse, just your phone and your car and house keys. You never ran so fast out of the complex and towards your car, with a smile plastered on your face all the while. When you sat yourself in front of the steering wheel, you couldn’t even believe what you were doing, what your feet were taking you, but you couldn’t hold it in anymore, just like last night.
Last night you finally exploded, wanting to finally feel him entirely, and the fact that you want, NEED more, is a sign that you have to talk it out, say that to him, say that you want more, be honest and let yourself go. Your keys got into the ignition hole, and you took a deep breath as you started your journey into the streets, your heart in your throat pumping quicker as you approached your destination.
You were probably insane, you were probably going to make a scene, and you didn’t even know how to word anything of what you were feeling properly, but you were sure you were going to say everything to him. You knew you had to. No matter how it comes out of your mouth, no matter what you have to do to get your words through, you will try and you will tell him that you like him, that you are falling for him, that you might even already have fallen to the deep end.
You parked right in front of his complex, and an old man was opening the main door to the lobby, making you rip yourself from the seatbelt and bolting out of your car, pressing the lock button over your shoulder as you reached the door, holding it open for the old man who thanked you as you anxiously waited for him to go through. Once he did, you ran towards the elevators, pressing the buttons desperately.
You looked at the numbers going down and you were chanting ‘come on, come on’ under your breath. Once the metal doors opened, you ran inside, quickly pressing his apartment’s button, almost to the point of breaking it. The door closed and you took many deep breaths in, but a smile was on your face as your ears rang from the excitement. You weren’t even thinking of the possibility of rejection, you just wanted this feeling to be known, for him to know, for him to understand.
The doors opened and you took a slow step out as you stared at his apartment door. Was this the right decision? Right now? Not even messaging him to tell him you were coming over? He had errands to run today, what if he is not home yet? But the light underneath the door frame told you otherwise, sparking your excitement once again. You walked towards the door, and took one last deep breath in. This was it.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
You waited, deep breaths coming out of your lips as you waited, rocking on the balls of your feet, back and forth, and that’s when you heard shuffling on the other side of the door, a sniffle, slippers sliding against the wooden floor, and a click of the lock was heard. When it opened, you found a very sick Steve Harrington in front of you, red nose and all, hair all over the place, his blue robe on his body and your eyes widened at the sight.
“Shit, Steve, are you okay?” You ask him and he was almost wobbly, greeting you with your name and nodding. He actually took so many tylenol and dayquil that his mind was just trying to survive at this point.
“Yeah, peachy, never felt greater in my life…” You winced at his sarcasm and he sniffled holding himself with his hand on the doorframe, his eyes completely droopy from the mucus that was on his sinus. “What brings you here, sweetness?” You straightened up again at his question, but you tilted your head in question this time, remembering that Eddie told you he had to take Steve somewhere… maybe the hospital?
“Oh, I just— I came to see Eddie.” Steve scoffed at that, and sniffled again.
“He is not here.” He says and you tilt your head in confusion again. Maybe he went to grab something to eat?
“Oh, I just assumed it’s his day off so…” You mentioned to him, and you were hoping you would get the information out of his mouth, a mouth that at this moment had no filter, and no rationality or perception.
“He must be with a client.” He says and you just blink up at him, and your mind for some reason was telling you that you should leave, that you should not hear any longer, that you have to run from there, but your feet never moved.
“A client?” You choke out, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible and Steve wobbles a bit, trying to focus on your face, but failing to do so. He waved his hand around as he explained himself.
“Yeah, his second job. He did tell you about it right?”
“The job… that…”
“Private meetings with clients. Mainly sex really.” 
Your heart dropped at that, falling right into your stomach. You were staring at Steve as if he had just stabbed you with a sword, just impaling you without any kind of mercy, and the gears in your mind started working, but instead of moving forward, they went backwards. Your hands were starting to tremble, not wanting to believe what Steve was saying.
“That– Today?” You choke out, holding a sob in your throat as your knees start to give up on you. This couldn’t be happening, not right after the best night of your life, not after realizing what you felt for him, not after he said those things to you.
“Yeah, I mean, sometimes we do it for money, sometimes just for pleasure, so that’s why I don’t know when he’ll be back.” He blurts out and that’s when your world stopped.
He lied. He lied to you. He said he was going with Steve today, but Steve is too sick to even move… The call– The words you heard– You wanted to vomit, nausea washing over your stomach as the puzzle came together in your head, slowly, and when it finally clicked, when it all clicked.
And your eyes couldn’t look at Steve’s face any longer.
“O-Oh, y-yeah, he told me, I must have forgotten…” Your voice was small, your body shaking as your gaze couldn’t handle Steve’s neck, nor his chest, nor his legs, until you were entirely looking at the floor. Your body was shaking almost, and you had to run away. You had to leave. You were suffocating. You needed air.
“Do you want me to–” You didn’t even let him finish his sentence, taking a step back from him as his cologne invaded your sense of smell.
“No. He– He will make fun of my… poor memory… Um… Don’t tell him I came here, I’ll… just message him later.” Your voice became smaller and smaller at each word that came out of your lips, and Steve, poor Steve, was so out of it that he didn’t notice anything wrong. 
“Okay, see you later Sweetness.” Your body almost gagged and jerked forward at the nickname, but you stayed put, still looking at the floor. Your mind was shutting down, you needed to leave.
“B-Bye.” You couldn’t even say his name as you turned around, walking back towards the elevator and pressing the button to go down, hearing the door closing before your metal doors shut together. Your eyes were still on the floor, not daring to look up as you tried, you really tried to make those last words disappear from your brain, but they were on repeat, and your body was numb.
You felt numb, automatic, going towards your car, and you don’t even remember starting it, you don’t remember how you even got to your complex, you don’t remember if you locked your car or not as you entered your apartment, your lost gaze just not centering on anything. You threw the keys on the counter, just simply dropping them somewhere as your feet slowly took you towards the bathroom. 
He has a second job. He has a sex working job. And he has had it even before he met you, and he never quit it, and Steve said that he does it for pleasure sometimes. Was this one of the times? Right after last night with you? Maybe there was a mistake? Maybe that’s not what Eddie’s doing? 
But he wasn’t home, and the fact was that he still has that job. He still does it because Steve said it as if it were a frequent thing. How many times have you messaged him or talked to him while he was with a client? Did he go to them after kissing you? Touching you? Sleeping with you? Were you not good? Were you not enough? Were you simple? Were you too complicated? 
You took a deep breath in, trying to calm your heart, feeling it ripping at your chest, urging to come out of your body, to cry out, to yell into the sky and mourn. Your guts were twisting painfully, and you held your stomach just in case you had to turn around to empty your stomach out, because your world was spiraling all around you and it was making you dizzy. 
Why didn’t he ever tell you about this job? Why wasn’t he honest with you from the very beginning? Maybe if he did you wouldn’t have fallen for him. Maybe if he did you would have been more cautious. Maybe if he did you wouldn’t feel like this, this sick, this dizzy, this broken. Why would he hide it from you? 
You looked at your hands and saw that they were shaking at a very quick pace and you knew you were on the brink of a nervous breakdown, you could feel it. You held your chest as you tried to take deep breaths in and out again, trying to calm yourself down, trying to make everything make sense once again, trying to find a reasonable reason for everything, if there was any.
You turned to look at the sink, turning the faucet on and hunching downwards to finally wash your face, trying to make the cold water make you snap out of how bad your head was starting to hurt, how your throat felt like it was closing up at an alarming rate, and your oxygen felt like it was starting to run short. Your lungs were compressed inside your chest, making it slightly painful but nothing hurt more than your heart.
You straightened up with a heavy breath, a long pained huff, shakiness evident as you gripped onto the sink and finally, your eyes looked at your reflection. Every movement in your body stopped. Every tremble, every thought, every blood cell going through your veins, just everything froze as you stared at yourself… And the gears in your head started going backwards, even further, deeper, darker.
He lied to you. He lied to you. He lied to you. 
You were never good enough, you were never going to compare, and somehow you always knew that, yet… He made you feel beautiful, confident in your clothes, confident in your makeup, confident in the way you spoke, in the way you expressed yourself, in the way you moved. He helped you. He helped you. Helped you.
HE SHAPED YOU.
“No…” You tried telling yourself as your body started rocking back and forth, not wanting to listen to your own brain, not wanting to hear the horrible things that it was saying about him because you were certain that he wasn’t evil. He wouldn’t do that to you, he wouldn’t do it, he didn’t seem capable of doing that. There was no evidence of him planning something like that.
But… He did say he always wanted to have you ‘like this’. Did he mean under him? Did he mean sexually? Did he mean… as if you were a conquest? A prize? You shook your head again, it couldn’t be. It couldn’t possibly be, not your Eddie, not your sweet and patient Eddie. Not the Eddie that made you feel like heaven yesterday, not the Eddie that made your life happier than it ever did before. 
Yet, if he did go to that appointment with a private client today, did it mean he wanted to be with someone experienced? That he wanted to be with someone that knows what they’re doing? Someone prettier? Someone that actually makes him feel good? Someone that knows how to actually do that without asking? A regular? 
HE GOT YOU. HE’S DONE.
No. No. No. It isn’t like that, it wasn’t a one time thing. It was never a one time thing. It shouldn’t have been a one time thing, you weren’t going to let your brain stain every memory you had of him, because in the end he was a great friend. A great friend who lied to you, a great friend that shaped you into what he liked, a great friend that you fell for.
You were trying to deny it, you were trying really hard, you can still talk to him, you can still ask him if it were true, but you knew it was, you knew that he was fucking other people, you knew that you weren’t special, you knew he didn’t feel the same as you did. Your mind was hazy now, dark patches blocking your eyesight as you felt the all too well burning sensation in them. 
Your breathing started coming out of your mouth in huge gasps as you rocked back and forth, still looking at your reflection, looking at who you were now, looking at how different you are from before, looking at what you thought was what you actually wanted to look like… But what if it was never that? What if it was a plan all along? What if he saw it as a challenge? What if you were a challenge and he just wanted you perfect to his taste? This wasn’t you. This wasn’t you. This isn’t you.
HE MOLDED YOU.
A rough groan ripped from your throat as you pushed yourself away from the sink, tumbling out of the bathroom and rushing towards your kitchen, almost breaking a drawer out as you took your plastic bags out, your breathing heavy, angry, chest puffing out and down again, pain rushing all over your body like a sharp electric sting, hurting every place, every joint, every organ. Your feet ran towards your room as you looked all around, your eyes red from burning, your mind now in a dark cloud full of thunder. 
You opened a plastic bag and rushed towards your vanity, putting your hand on the desk to start dragging every makeup product you bought for the past two months, grunts and pained whines escaping your throat as you pushed every mascara, lipstick, blush down into the bag.
You opened the drawers of it, now grabbing onto every piece of accessory you got, every little summer scarf he told you that looked good on you, every single thing he complimented you in was going into the bag. You can’t use that, you never used that, you didn’t know how to use any of this, so why keep lying, why keep being someone you are not for the sake of someone else?
You angrily pushed yourself off the vanity, making it rock back and forth and you stared now at your closet. You immediately grabbed another bag and you rushed towards it, flinging it open in a desperate move, getting hold of all the shirts he told you would look good in. All the jeans he helped you buy. All the sweaters he told you will look good on you in the winter.
Your tears were now running down your eyes as you threw each article of clothing into the bag, leaving behind your old stuff, your old shirts, your old jeans, your old pants, who you truly were, where you truly belonged. Secure, safe, and comfortable. You then flung the other side of the closet and your eyes widened when you saw all the jackets you never thought of buying before.
Everything was being taken off the hanger and thrown into a new bag, everything had to go, everything that reminded you of him had to go. Everything that smelled remotely like him, anything that held a memory of him had to go. All the skirts, one by one were being thrown into the bag, the shorts as well, and then the dresses. Things you never wore before in your life, the only time being your prom night. 
You started ripping them out of your closet, throwing them all into a new bag, until you finally held onto one garment. A very specific one. You looked at it as you were about to throw it in, the purple color catching your eye as you straightened up to hold onto it with both of your hands. Tears came down your cheeks as you stared at the purple dress in your grasp.
Your first ever article of new clothing. The first time he complimented you. The first time he twirled you. The first time he took you in. The first time you felt confident in something you never wore before… And it was all fake. Everything was fake. He saw you as a hard conquest, and he got you, and even shaped you into what he wanted, making you desirable for him. 
You sobbed harshly as you let your emotions finally rip from your chest, as you came down from your anger, from your thunder and all that was left was heavy rain. All that’s left is this pain in your chest of your first time feeling something you never thought you would feel, only to be ripped away seconds later. All that’s left… it’s this purple dress.
And you will still throw it into the bag.
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End of part 7
A/N: I know it isn't as long as last one or the ones before, but next one is the last chapter, so... I hope I didn't hurt you all too much with this.
I hope you liked this chapter and always reblog your artists!
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tinandabin · 3 months
Text
SAGAU but the the reader is the ACTUAL creator
Thorny love: part 5
Previous part: part 4
a/n: am I back from the dead? I dunno, but yesterday night I felt like writing and wrote another part. so, I decided to publish it here also!
________
"Yo-Your Grace... You are finally here.." Ei spoke, her eyes wide and her legs shaking a bit. It almost looked like she was gonna cry. However, her face hardened up as soon as more people started gathering around you and her. Perhaps, you were the only one to catch a glimpse of her expression. She is an Archon, she too has a reputation to uphold in Inazuma, after all. "Hello, Ei. How have you been?" You smiled at her, hand going up to ruffle her hair. Revelyn still hadn't let go of your robe, her hold on it tightened a bit.
Ei's breath hitched as soon as your hand messed with her hair. "I'm..." She tried to find the right words to express her feelings, but she couldn't. How can she explain that she felt as if a part of her had been torn from her when you left her? It felt as if...she had been plunged into never-ending despair and loneliness. She missed you, very dearly. The place where her heart should have been, felt strangely empty without your embrace, your smile, your eyes, you.
Your hand retreated soon enough, "You don't have to answer, Ei." You gently told her, sensing her inner turmoil. It hurt you to leave your creations suffering and in agony, it truly did so. But some actions are sadly enough, necessary.
Ei smiled and nodded, hand coming to hold yours when she saw another hand grasping your robe. Immediately, she looked at the culprit only to see the face of the impostor. How dare she even show her face here after all she did? The thought made her scoff. She not only deceived the Archons but even you. The nerve of some people.. And now she acts all angelic and needy when you show up? But of course, Ei won't say anything. Not in front of you. 
"And who might be the coward behind you, Your Grace?" Ei gestured towards Revelyn behind you. You smiled beamingly, gently prying Revelyn from behind you. "Oh, come now, Ei, you don't remember her?" You asked her innocently, quickly realizing the jab she was throwing towards Revelyn, but brushing it off. You don't wish for an argument to start over here, of all places. 
Ei stared at Revelyn for a moment, taking your hint to not taunt her. "I do, Your Grace. How could I not?" 
"I'm glad to know so, " You put your hands on Revelyn's shoulder, your touch sending an electrifying shock of pleasure through her body. "Everyone misunderstood Revelyn. She's a very sweet and angelic girl. I'm sure she will fit right back in, hm?" 
Revelyn stood awkwardly, clearly wanting to be anywhere but here. She decided to keep up her act of cowardice until you left. "Um.. Hi," Her meek voice spoke up, a slight tremble to it. She batted her eyelashes at Ei, smiling softly. "I'm Revelyn.. Revelyn Aniela. " 
The surname struck some nostalgic feeling inside you. You had a brief feeling that perhaps you had heard this somewhere before, that perhaps someone dear to you held the same surname. Someone close to your heart, your mind, your soul- but who? Who was that? You can't recall. Aniela. Aniela. Aniela. So familiar, yet so distinct. Maybe it was simply the name of a friend long gone, you would love to give yourself this benefit of doubt, but you're not the kind of person to do that. You're the Creator for fuck's sake, if you're remembering something, then that must be because it's important! It was of significance, you wouldn't just remember a random surname, right? Right...?
You shook your head, deciding you're indeed giving yourself the benefit of the doubt because you're too old to deal with this detective stuff. Frankly enough, if you think about it more, you'll probably just get a headache. Best to leave it be, now. You'll just ask Seraphina to play detective, like always. You cleared your throat. "So, what are we waiting for? Shall we go?" 
Ei nodded right away, grabbing your hand and Intertwining your fingers. "As you wish, Your Grace. " 
Revelyn was left behind to catch up. 
__________
A few days passed in Inazuma without much commotion. You spent most of the time with Ei, Revelyn of course stuck around so long as you were there. Personally, you were tired of both of them. They need to stop clinging to you like you're their mother. Ei, you understood why she clinged to you, considering she didn't see you for months on end, but Revelyn, who lived with you for like... the past month, it wasn't very understandable. Lile be for real, Revelyn. You not tired yet? Like. Girl. Stop embarrassing yourself and get some self respect and go where you're actually wanted. 
So, for both your sanity and their's (Lie), you decided to leave both of them together to socialize and become the best of best friends. (Lie. You just wanted time to yourself and wanted to meet Yae Miko.) Of course, you were, for the first time, surprised to see both Ei and Revelyn unite together. Merely for the purpose of notetting you leave but hey, progress! They atleast united for a common goal, no matter how troublesome that may be for you. 
Their combined forces weren't enough to deter you, in the end, you won and they were forced to talk to each other or sulk together, or maybe, a rare possibility, but have a heated make-out session. Who knows. Whatever works, works. They're on their own now and you're on your own, to meet Yae Miko and have a heated make-out session with her perhaps. It won't happen, maybe, but the thought is entertaining though. You're like, 93% certain Miko would agree if you asked. It's not like she hasn't suggested that before. Ah, enough thoughts. You're here. 
"Good grace, it's such a heavy task to climb these hills to just be graced by your presence, Miko, " You let out a whine, leaning against one of thr shrine. "You should know my old bones can't hold for long-" A book was placed against your lips and a fluffy, really fluffy and soft, tail caressed your thigh sneakily. "My my, Your Divinity, you ought to know, I don't fancy you saying those words. You look very beautiful, and ravishing, might I add. " Yae Miko said, leaning in close to you with a smirk on her face. 
You placed a hand on her wrist, gently removing the book. "I'm happy you think so, but might I say, you look even more delightful, " You replied back with a grin. This flirty playful banter was always your favorite thing to do in Inazuma, apart from watching Revelyn and Ei be at their throats, of course. "Oh please, Your Divinity, you flatter me. But we both know, you're the most beautiful-" You placed a finger on her lips. "Ahhh, shhh. Nothing more to speak of this topic. You can't argue with me on this, you're, of course, the most stunning woman in Inazuma, " 
Miko let out an offended gasp, "Inazuma only? Is that my beauty's worth to you, Your Divinity? I'm offended, " She pouted, clearly putting up an act just for you. 
"No no, my dear. I meant in whole Teyvat. It would be a crime for me to think your beauty isn't other worldly, " 
And this playful banter continued on. 
_________
On the other side, Revelyn and Ei were indeed having a heated make-out session. Not the kind you're thinking of. 
"Oh, so as soon as my graceful creator leaves, you suddenly drop the act of cowardice?" Ei stared at Revelyn, a cold and unrelenting aura around her. 
"Your creator...? Psssh," Revelyn let out a mocking laugh, "Please. Your words are blatantly false!" She glared at Ei, her fists clenching at her sides. 
"Shut up, you witch, you casted a spell of sorts on my graceful creator, didn't you? That's why she is completely and utterly fooled by you!" 
"Oh? I'll cast a spell on you too and turn you into a monkey if you don't shut up!"
You walked in with a smile. "Guys. I just had a make-out session with Miko-"
________
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footygirl114 · 3 months
Text
Corajuda (Alexia Putellas X Reader)
So Part 5! This one is for the handful of you who actually care to read it and make me want to keep writing. So thank you for sticking with me and continuing to read my series.
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4
When the alarm goes off the following morning the first thing you were alerted to was that the alarm wasn’t the sound you use, and the warm body pressed into your side. Turning your head you opened your eyes and were met with a sight you could get used to, Alexia was leaned on her side, with her arm bent under her head looking down on you. 
You could feel the smile grow on your lips as she says softly “Buenos dias hermosa.” 
“Hi” you smiled up at her as you tangle your fingers with her hand that was sitting on your stomach. 
The alarm goes off again and she looks towards the clock and with a groan says “We need to go, we woke up late.” 
Echoing her groan you say “I don’t want to get up” 
“me either, but we gotta go.” she finishes by pressing a kiss to the corner of your lips and she rolls off the other side of the bed. Your eyes track her movement as she gets up and gathers some clothes and disappears into the bathroom. 
You take a moment and cover your face and whisper to your self “time to get up.” 
Before you can sit up she leans her head out the bathroom door and says “You need to go get changed gorgeous, I gotta be at the field early” and she finishes with a wink as she disappears back into the bathroom. 
Smiling to yourself you hop out of bed, grab your clothes you changed out of last night and move to leave shouting out “I am keeping your clothes Ale, but I will see you downstairs shortly.” 
You can feel the smile on your face the whole time you are getting ready, and when you meet her downstairs she’s on the phone but you keep meeting her eyes with a smile in the rear view mirror. The usual drop off occurs with the new added bonus of her adding a wink before she disappears into the building. 
Once you park and move to enter the building you pause for a moment outside to gather your breathe and push all thoughts of being in Alexia’s bed this morning to the back burner. You needed to focus and do your job to ensure her safety going forward. When you step into the lobby you are met with the head of the security team. You had organised this meeting the day prior and knew was necessary to keep Alexia safe. 
“Jorge, Hi, thank you for meeting with me” You say to him and hold your hand out to the older man. 
He smiles and shakes your hand with a “of course Y/N, I am always happy to help keep out team safe. Now come with me to my office.” 
Nodding you follow the man down the hallway, into the security room. His office is off the back of the camera room and as you walk through you immediately note the team in the weight room on the cameras. 
He point you to the chair across from his desk and when he sits down and relaxes like this is a joke to him it starts to make your blood boil. “So Y/N, I am not sure what we need to discuss, I have been keeping this team safe for many years.” 
“As much as I want to agree with you, I can’t, not with how I have seen things organised in this federation” you tell him as you sit there, rigid back and keep your eyes locked on his. 
He shifts like you hit a nerve and he says “What are you saying to me?” 
“I am saying that I have been at 2 events where I was told that the federation has taken over the security and I wouldn’t need to worry and at both events Alexia was the target of some sort of attack” you tell him with a stern tone. 
“Nothing happened yesterday” He says as he shifts and sits up to lean over his desk closer to you and he finishes snarling “you overreacted little girl.”
“I reacted exactly how I was trained. There was a threat and I got Alexia out of there before it could become worse” you start with him, you shift to sit straighter and say “You hired security yesterday, and I bet you didn’t screen them, cause if you did you would have found that the one of them was the same one that the police identified as being involved in the recent stalking of Alexia.” 
He shifts back in his seat and says “How am I supposed to know that?” 
You stand up and reach into your bag handing him a file “This is the file I emailed to your team, after the first situation, I sent a brief to your team so you would all have pictures and images of these guys and whats going on. If you didn’t care to read my emails that says more on you and how seriously you take your job than me.” 
At this point he’s significantly shrunk back into his chair and he asks “What do you need from me?” 
“I need you to take this seriously and care. I have the training and the background in this, just let me help.” you tell him with a smile. 
He stands up and holds his hand out and says “Welcome to the team Y/N.” 
Smiling you shake his hand and ask “Can we now go over the plans for the away trip?” 
The next hour is spent pouring over the plans for travelling. The team was hopping on a plane later in the afternoon to fly to Germany for their first away champions league game. You were going with them but it was a purely work trip. 
The travel goes smoothly and everyone makes it to the hotel safely. You barley got to speak to Alexia but every time your eyes met it was like there was this underlying secret you both share that you both cant help but smile about. She smirks and meets your eyes as the team disperses to bed, but you wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. The whole day made your body feel off and you knew it would be a hard night to sleep so you disappeared into the gym and exhausted yourself before you went to bed. 
The next day was spent following the team to the training field and then to the stadium they were playing at the following day. You had a focus on the team and keeping your eyes peeled for the day. At one point you were standing on the side of the field and a ball came flying in and without thinking you controlled it on your knee and settled it to your feet and kicked it right back to Claudia who was running over for it. 
You thought nothing of it and continued to do what you were doing before the ball came in. What you didn’t notice was Alexia watching you, she had her lip bit between her teeth as she watched you control the ball like it was nothing. It took Kiera hitting her on the back of the head to get her to focus back on the training session. 
When it was over you were leaning on a wall near where the team would come out to get on the bus. You immediately met Alexia’s eyes as she walked out of the change room, and she walked closer to you and said “I didn’t know you could play?” 
You smile at her and say “there’s a lot you don’t know about me Ms. Putellas.” 
She takes a sneaky look around and darts forward and whispers into your ear “I can’t wait to find out more” and she tugs your ear with her teeth. She’s gone in a second walking towards the bus and as you watch her give her hips a little extra shake knowing your eyes are on her ass. 
The rest of the trip goes smoothly. The team wins an easy 5-1 game, and goes out to dinner to celebrate. On the walk back from the restaurant to the hotel you and Alexia were the last to leave and were walking slightly behind the rest of the team. Alexia used the cover of darkness to keep rubbing her hand on yours. 
After the third pass you chuckled and hooked your pinky with hers and say “Ms. Putellas it is very obvious you want to hold mu hand.” 
She chuckles and moves closer so her shoulder is pressed to yours “I feel like I have barley spoken to you.” 
“I’ve been working” you tell her.
She chuckles and pushes you into an alleyway and press your back against the wall and her again your front. You wrap your arms around her hips and keep her pressed close to you. “I had you in my bed for one night and overnight I want you back in it” she softly says looking into your eyes. 
Smiling at her you lean down and press a kiss to her nose and say “we should catch up Ale.” 
She smiles and leans up pressing a kiss on the corner of your mouth and says “lets go.” She chuckles and pulls away moving in the direction of the hotel and you follow her and catch up with the rest of the team. 
The following morning after landing and transferring back to the bus and to the field. You are back driving Alexia home, when you go to drop her off she asks “Can you just park the car and we can walk in together?” 
You meet her eyes in the mirror and nod pulling into the underground parking. You move and open her door and when she gets out you close the door and press her against it. “I want to take you out Alexia, I want to know everything about you, all the details that make you you. I want to know your coffee order, and what kind of wine you drink. I want it all” you tell her looking deep into her eyes.
She smiles and moves to wrap her arms around your neck and she says “I would like nothing more than that Y/N.” 
“Tonight 7pm? I will pick you up?” you ask her. 
“Let me check if my hot security guard can make that work” she chuckles and when you stick your tongue out at her she says “I will be ready for 7pm Y/N.” 
You meet her eyes and look down at her lips and then back up at her eyes. “Alexia you need to leave now, or I wont be able to wait until later” you smile at her.
“What if I don’t want you to wait?” She asks. 
Groaning you pull back a bit from her saying “I want to do this right, and if I kiss you right now we wont make it till 7pm Ale.” 
She nods and leans up pressing a kiss to the corner of your lip and pulls back. She turns walking backwards and says “I can’t wait to see you later” with a wink she disappears behind the doors and you stand there smiling at the door for much longer than you admit. 
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alessiasfreckles · 1 month
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amnesia - part 7 (ona batlle x alexia putellas x reader)
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part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6
a/n: a little look at how alexia and ona are doing. big thank you to @codiemarin for help with the plot!! she’s a lifesaver x
------
At training the next day, Ona refused to look at Alexia. Her stomach churned whenever she heard the woman’s voice, and the guilt she felt about what had happened burned at the back of her throat. 
Alexia understood her behaviour, but she couldn’t help but feel frustrated - after all, Ona was the one who had stormed in yesterday, all confused about her feelings. Alexia was well aware of her own feelings, she had been for a long time. She’d made peace with her feelings towards Ona before you’d even joined Barcelona, and then she’d made peace with her feelings towards you after you had. She had recognised the feelings, labelled them as silly little crushes that would never amount to anything, had put them in a box, never to be thought of again, and that was that.
At least, that had been that, until yesterday. Until Ona had come barrelling into the changing room, face flushed, an adorable, slightly confused scowl on her face, and had yelled at the captain. Now, the yelling part wouldn’t have phased her, but the bit that followed?
The way Ona had reached up and pulled her into a kiss had been playing in her mind on repeat, making Alexia feel weak at the knees. The way Ona’s lips felt against hers, angry and harsh but so, so soft, the way it had felt so right to finally kiss her, after waiting for so long. 
When Ona had said it was a mistake, it couldn’t happen again, Alexia tried her hardest to ignore the way it felt like she was being stabbed, like her lungs were collapsing, like Ona had been her only source of oxygen. She had nodded, telling Ona that it would be okay, that you would be okay, that they would figure it out. She was the captain of the team, for fuck’s sake. She was better than this. She could handle this. 
And as captain of the team, Alexia knew that having one of her players ignoring her wasn’t good for the team, regardless of what had happened between those players. So she did what any good captain would do, and messaged Ona. 
[Alexia:] We need to talk about yesterday.
[Ona:] What’s there to talk about? I thought we were pretending it didn’t happen.
[Alexia:] Clearly not, since you wouldn’t even look at me today. Can we please talk about it?
[Ona:] Fine. Tomorrow? I can come early again. 
---
Alexia’s leg bounced anxiously as she waited in the empty changing room. Ona had said she’d be there early, but Alexia wasn’t sure how early she meant, so she’d arrived 45 minutes before the others would start to arrive. After a few minutes of waiting, the door opened softly, a stark contrast to the way Ona had entered just a couple days before. 
“Hi,” Ona said, still not meeting Alexia’s gaze. “You wanted to talk?”
“Will you at least come in and sit down?” Alexia asked. “I won’t bite.”
Pink rose to the brunette’s cheeks, and she nodded and sat down. 
“Are you going to look at me today? Or are you going to keep ignoring me?” 
Alexia’s voice had an edge to it, the way it did when she was speaking as captain rather than as another player or as a friend. Ona looked up, staring Alexia in the eyes. 
“What do you want to talk about?” Ona asked, her voice measured. 
A million questions raced through the captain’s head and she grasped on to the first one that came to mind. “How are you feeling?”
Ona let out a short laugh of disbelief. “How am I feeling? Really? You asked me to meet so that we could talk about how I’m feeling?”
Alexia frowned. “Si. A lot has happened lately and I care about you, I want to make sure you’re okay.”
“Ale…,” Ona sighed. “Okay, fine. I’m feeling like a mess. I feel awful and guilty and like the worst person ever for what I’ve done to Y/N, and I feel mixed up and confused about you, okay?”
“Oh,” Alexia said. She had been so caught up in her own thoughts and feelings that she hadn’t considered how Ona would be feeling about her, how what had happened would be affecting her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realise. Can I ask why you feel mixed up and confused about me?”
“Isn’t it obvious? I don’t- I don’t understand how I feel, I don’t understand what I’m feeling. I like you, but I’m not allowed to like you, I’m not meant to like you, I like Y/N- no, I love her, so I cannot like you!” Ona said, the words bursting out of her. She hadn’t realised how confused she was until she said it out loud. “And all I keep thinking about is that I want to kiss you and kiss Y/N and it’s not fair, but that’s just not how it works.”
Alexia leant back against the wall, heart aching. “No, I guess that’s not how it works. We can’t all be together. And you and Y/N were together first, so that’s that.”
“Exactly,” the brunette nodded. “That’s that. So please let me keep ignoring you for just a few days, until I’ve sorted out my feelings? That’s all I’m asking.”
“Yes, I- I’m sorry,” Alexia blushed. She felt foolish for not considering Ona’s feelings, for assuming she was the only one who was confused. “I’m sorry. Thank you for coming in and talking to me.”
“I’m going to go now, okay? I’ll see you in training, Ale,” Ona said. She suddenly felt exhausted, like she’d just played a full 90 minutes, but without the exhilaration that usually accompanied it. She just wanted to be alone for a while, to not have to answer to anyone.
She left without waiting for a reply from Alexia and headed straight into the gym, making a beeline for the treadmills. No matter how tired she was, running always helped her think, helped her clear her mind. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t stop thinking about Alexia and about you, so with a frustrated groan she decided to try and think of solutions instead.
And that’s when it hit her.
The night before, when she’d been at yours, you had mentioned Alexia. She froze when you said the captain’s name, terrified that somehow you knew what had happened, that you knew about them, and had been so focused on acting normally that she’d only half listened to what you were saying. Now though, it was coming back to her.
“So, uh, did you know that a lot of people think me and Ale are dating?” you’d said, off-handedly, like it was no big deal. And it wasn’t a big deal, you knew that. 
“Hm?” Ona had responded, eyebrows raised. 
“Yeah,” you laughed. “I saw some stuff online yesterday when I was looking myself up. Crazy, right?”
“Yeah, crazy.”
“I mean, she is super pretty, and obviously very very good at football - oh, actually, I found a journal entry I wrote when I first moved,” you casually interrupted yourself, as if you hadn’t been thinking about what to say and how to say it for hours before Ona had arrived. “And the two people I wrote about were you and Ale! It’s kind of funny, it seems like I had a crush on both of you, at the start?”
You’d held your breath, waiting for Ona’s reaction. You weren’t sure what you were hoping for, all you knew was that you couldn’t stop thinking about either of them. Maybe you just wanted to know if that was the kind of person you were, and maybe Ona would know.
Ona had glanced at you, cheeks faintly pink. “Really?”
“Yeah, I guess? I don’t know, did you ever notice anything that made you think I had a crush on her - or on you?” you asked, saying the last part in one quick breath. 
“I’m not sure,” she’d shrugged. “I don’t really remember.”
“Oh, okay,” you’d said, trying not to let her notice the disappointment you were feeling. 
Your words hit Ona like a brick wall, and she almost tripped over her own feet, momentarily forgetting where she was. She quickly turned the treadmill off and picked up her phone, starting to type out a message to Alexia.
[Ona:] What if we could all be together? What if there was a way to make it work?
Her finger hovered over the send button. Somewhere, a door slammed as her teammates started to arrive, making her jump. When she looked back down at her phone, the message had been sent.
[Alexia:] is typing…
[Alexia:] is typing…
[Alexia:] is typing…
[Alexia:] How?
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unforth · 6 months
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I had a day off yesterday.
And I can already practically hear the assumptions that such a statement is prompting the reader to make. Those assumptions are wrong. I don't mean I didn't work. I did, for about 8 hours. That's not at all what I mean.
I mean my wife took the kids out at 9:30, spent the night with her mom, isn't back yet the next morning.
There are things I NEED people on this website to understand about parenting. And I've talked about it before, and I'll talk about it again, because honestly the way that Tumblr as a cohort talks about parents makes me sick. Multiple polls have shown that only about 2% of people on here are parents. We're a huge minority, and we're constantly talked over, ignored, or accused of being bad parents (like, personally, I have had people reply to my comments or come on to my posts and tell me I shouldn't have my kids). In my case, being a parent means I'm almost 41, I'm married to @ramblingandpie, and our children are inching up on being 8 and 6 years old.
My entire day, and therefore my entire life, revolves around them. I'm up most mornings at 5 AM, because that's the earliest they're "allowed" to wake up, and so my brain just defaults to being awake around then - better to wake up before them, at least then I get a few minutes in the morning. Between 5 and 7, I sit with them, do my social media, work on side blogs, study Chinese. Then it's helping them get ready for school, then my wife or I or both get them on the bus, and then I work until the last possible minute, which is either when I need to go pick them up for an after school activity or when I need to go down and meet them off the bus. My afternoons are after school activities, chores such as washing the dishes and cleaning up toys, talking with them, working with them, playing with them. Their bedtime starts at 7:40, and my son gets scared if I leave before he falls asleep so I sit with him until about 8:15. As soon as he's asleep, I go fall on my face, sleep as best I can, then wake up and do it again. Overnight, it's hard to sleep deeply, because about once a week someone will wake up in the middle of the night and need help. That could be as minimal as a hug or as complex as having to completely change the bedding on a bunk bed at 2 AM while also comforting a child who is afraid they'll be in trouble, or afraid they're sick, or afraid of their nightmare, or, or, or. Further, if a child is awake, there is always noise. I usually study Chinese with two or more competing sources of noise. I read the same way. My life is loud, and active, and consists of constant interruptions.
I adore my family, and I love my children, but this is terrible for me.
I do all of this as an neurodivergent introvert. My clinical depression is at least medicated, mostly because post-partum depression after I gave birth the first time nearly drove me to suicidal in under a week (we were expecting this and were prepared, fortunately, getting help was as simple as a phone call). The constant noise and interruptions and forced socialibility are about the worst combination of home-life I could be subjected to. I spend far too many early mornings just breathing deeply and gearing myself up to be subjected to the wall of Loud, Boisterous, Needing-My-Attention that is every minute when anyone else in the house is awake.
So what did my day off look like?
I helped get the kids ready to go and did some morning chores. I'd been up at 4:30 AM so I also had already social media'd and studied. Then, while my wife finished the preparations, I started work, and I worked from about 8 am to about 4 pm, straight. I didn't get hungry so didn't bother stopping for lunch. No one interrupted me, no one asked me to look at anything they'd built, no one broke my concentration, no sounds could be heard except those I'd chosen myself.
I'd been out the day before at a local shopping street and listened closely to the things the kids said they wanted, so at 4 I grabbed a couple orders I needed to ship for work and drove to our local downtown, dropped the orders in a post box, then went back to the shops and did some Christmas shopping in the 45 minutes or so before everything closed. I think I'm basically done with what we'll get them - other bigger things will be left to grand parents - so that's a load off, I literally had a stress dream earlier this week about it being 12/24 and having forgotten to do the shopping and having to go to (oh horrors) the mall on the day before Christmas. (Reminder: I'm a Jewish atheist. It's just virtually impossible not to Holiday in the Culturally Christian Hellscape that is the US. Also, my wife is Christian. So.) Found something cute for my wife, too, even tho I already know the main thing I'm getting her. Then, I realized - one of my favorite restaurants is on that block. So. I went there. I sat by myself at a table, only the indistinct restaurant hubbub around me. I read four or five chapters of my book, and ate a savory crepe, and drank lovely fruit tea, and got a scone to-go that I'll eat for lunch today. It was more than I probably should have spent on myself - about $25, including tip - but fuck it. I only get maybe a handful of days off all year, and I'm allowed to indulge a little.
Then I came home. There were no lights on. There was no noise. I had considered doing some more merch work while watching TV on the actual television (my kids are too young for subtitled shows, so usually if I want to watch My Shows I either have to do it on my computer when they're not around, or put them on and read all the subtitles aloud while trying to keep up and process the actual meaning of what I'm reading). But when I got back, the quiet and dark was so goddamn NICE that instead I curled up on the couch and read more of my book. I did that until bedtime - still about 8:15, because I'm exhausted. Then...I went to bed. And I slept long and deep, knowing that there was no chance I'd be interrupted and woken up, I didn't have to be, even in sleep, alert to every noise and possibility that I'd be needed.
I'm still exhausted and burned out, but even one night to myself felt really, really nice.
Saying "Tumblr does X" as a universal statement is doomed to failure, but generally speaking, the parenting posts I see on Tumblr, the ones with tens or hundreds of thousands of notes, speak what's apparently widely seen as a truism on here: that unless someone wants to spend 24/7 with their kids, to be 100% emotionally available at all times, is always kind and patient and perfect, they are a bad parent, maybe even abusive. I remember when covid started, there were multiple posts actively mocking the "oh god, my kids are now home all the time, how am I supposed to do this?" attitude that a lot of parents posted in despair. WhY dId YoU hAvE kIdS iF yOu DoN't WaNt To SpEnD tImE wItH tHeM?
Look at what my usual day looks like.
Look at what my day off looked like.
Do you really think I don't want to spend time with my kids? Do you really think I don't love my kids?
But I'm not a fucking MACHINE. I'm a PERSON. That's what people on Tumblr seem to forget. PARENTS ARE PEOPLE. The same tumblrinas who post ~uwu be kind to yourself rest if you need to, you should forgive yourself for that mistake you made~ will turn around, with zero sense of irony, and post "you're a bad parent if you ever raise your voice around a child."
Expecting parents to be perfect means expecting parents to be inhuman. It also means that a parent can't be poor (can't spend all your time being the perfect parent if you have to work multiple jobs or weird hours!), can't be introverted (can't be a perfect parent if you're not completely emotional available, god forbid socializing is exhausting for you), can't be on the ADHD or autism spectrum (what do you mean you forgot to get your kid to a doctor's appointment once? what do you mean over-stimulation can make you angry? how dare you get angry at a kid!), can't be depressed (gotta get out of bed every single day, gotta always be upbeat, patient, happy, or else that's Evil), can't be (like my wife) physically disabled (what do you mean your hands hurt too much to hold a child's hand? are you denying them touch?? CRUEL). And when the only answer you can offer to that is, "if you can't be that perfect you shouldn't be a parent," then you're saying people who aren't middle class to wealthy, people who aren't neurotypical, people who aren't physically able, shouldn't have children.
And honestly...what the fuck is your problem?
I'm not perfect. I tell my kids to just leave me alone sometimes. I raise my voice, especially when one of my kids starts punching the other, but also sometimes just cause I'm exhausted and Can't Anymore. I've forgotten an appointment by accident and felt like a total fucking idiot, and I've skipped an after school activity because I just wasn't up for taking them. I've served them more unbalanced, unhealthy meals than I can count. I've made many, many mistakes, but I've also done my best, and I love my kids, and I hope that when they grow up, they'll still love me even as they recognize that I wasn't perfect, just as I've come to accept my own parents' short-comings while still loving them very much. They're people, too, and the older I get, the more I understand where they were coming from.
When I fuck up, I apologize.
When they tell me they're unhappy with something I've done, I apologize, and I try to do better. Sometimes I even succeed.
This shit is hard, yo. And it's getting harder every year.
I'm BEGGING Tumblr: you need to start seeing parents as people. The way y'all talk about parenting on here is toxic, and genuinely harmful, and frankly exhausting. You have no idea what the reality of raising kids is like, and you need to shut the entire fuck up.
I had a day off yesterday.
I might get one more before the end of 2023.
I already can't wait. I am so, so, so tired. sigh
(if you actually read this whole rant and even a single word of it resonated for you, please reblog it. I'm tired of never seeing positive posts about parenting while I see negative ones with a bajillion notes.)
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twstfanblog · 15 days
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*~Period Drama~* Tuesday
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A/N: SCREAMS. I am...SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG. We had to do double time to move out of our house since our landlords decided to fucking sell the property so we had to LEAVE. But it's done and I'm very happy with it and I hope you like it too. Enjoy~! Word Count: 6.7K Warnings: She/They Pronouns OC, Lilia does look and poke at Yuu's genitals Pairings: YuuxJamilxAzulxMalleus (Poly), (Sebek/Silver in the corner) ~Taglist (At this point I'm just adding everyone I've found who was interested in the fic XD) @twistedcece @deltrea @krenenbaker @koebishrimpuwu @cat100200 @emyluwinter @obsessionswithfandoms @ady-hilborn @lucid-stories @girl-nahh-two @itz-hydrodeptus-foxy7 @chyluna @riddlesimps @death-the-jo @a-twistedheartslonging @qixlin @chaosistheonlyway @welcome-to-my-horde @abell2029cluster @kirans-wonderland @coffee-or-hot-cocoa @the-ace-reader @iamsoconfusedallofthetime @chroniccorvus @marvelous-maxi @prolonged-eyecontact @lozplayer @jabberwocky-warrior @thateldribitch @bun-lapin @mel1rose @ladyraeka @ladyzsgolla Start, Part 2 (Octavinelle), Part 3 (Heartslabyul), Part 4 (Savanaclaw), Part 4.5 (Diasomnia pt1), Part 5 (Here)
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Malleus almost always forgot he even owned a phone, meaning he basically never texted Yuu. So when his personalized text tone played Yuu was quick to stop their sobbing and open his message.
‘May I see you tomorrow?’
Short, simple, sweet, and weirdly formal. Yuu smiled, typing back quickly before the horned fae forgot he owned a phone again.
‘Sure babes. Sorry ive been mia the past few days. Not feeling well. Ill explain when i see you tomorrow.’
‘I should hope so.’
Okay, vaguely rude.
When Malleus had said tomorrow, Yuu assumed he meant during lunch or after classes. Instead, he showed up on their doorstep with his whole family unit and a grumbling Grim in tow at 8am in the goddamn morning. None of them were in uniform, clad in casual comfortable clothing. They clearly planned to spend the whole day with her instead of a simple visit.
She blinks, almost overwhelmed at the sheer…something of the current event, “Hi…It's…really early.”
Lilia smiles, tilting his head as he holds up a large and slightly weathered first aid bag, “We brought gauze!”
Silver holds out his arms, the dire beast scowling but unmoving in his grip, “And Grim.”
“Oh, what beautiful treasures…”
“Enough beating around the unwanted bush.” Malleus steps forward, hands reaching to clasp around Yuu's. Looking into their surprised eyes with determination, “What is this illness and how can I help ease you of it?”
Yuu snorted, closing her eyes in an effort to not start laughing at how seriously Malleus was taking their ‘ailment’, “It'll…It'll pass with time, Malleus. But, luckily, I'm actually feeling a lot better than yesterday.” They step to the side, managing to pull a hand free from Malleus's grip to gesture for the Diasomnia family to enter.
Silver nods his head in thanks, walking into the hall to place Grim down. The cat quickly running further in the house, remarking Yuu still smelled weird, “That's good to hear. Did you use a form of medicine to ease your symptoms?”
Yuu closes the door behind them, Malleus already firmly attached to their side. No doubt the smell of their blood making him hyper-aware of their every movement, “Yeah. Crewel gave me a lecture and a pain potion when he brought me dinner last night. Plus the guttural sobbing I've been doing. But, I think it was mainly because I finally took that body cleansing shit…”
The beat of silence almost makes Yuu burst into laughter again, the four males all looking a level of stunned before Silver shakingly spoke.
“A-ah…That's...good?”
“Yeah, it really realigned my chakras or something.”
“Okay?”
“Yuu, could you tell us exactly what is going on?” Lilia's smile was strained. He had spent most of last night racking his memory of various illnesses. Any that he knew of that dealt with bleeding were things that would have killed Yuu within the hour if they had reached that stage. But to know they'd been bleeding for days? Whatever they had managed to catch was cause for concern. But now knowing it was causing other ailments…it was either a truly deadly disease or it was evolving into one…
“Oh, it's nothing serious. Just the muscles that are causing all this-” Yuu makes a vague gesture to their lower anatomy, “- are the same muscles that handle pooping. So…it was expected to happen…”
There was another beat of silence, each male looking at Yuu's stomach, placing the pieces together slowly as they realized she gestured below her stomach.
“Why…why did you…gesture…down there?” Silver spoke slowly, eyes making quick glances between Yuu's crotch, then to Malleus's blank face, then to Sebek's tearfully bewildered expression. Is…are they…?
Malleus says what all of them were fearfully thinking, “Is the blood coming out of you from your nethers!?”
“Ye.”
Lilia stood still, eyes wide as he openly stared at Yuu's crotch. This was…he had never heard of such a thing…
Malleus's hands quickly grabbed at Yuu's hips, magic flowing from his fingers in his panicked attempts to heal what he could only fear was internal ripping, “Why did no one tell me!?”
“I don't think you should be bleeding from there, Yuu?”
“Silver. Words can not describe how badly I wish I wasn't. But, sadly, yeah, this is completely natural for me to do. I wish I wasn't. I am so full of fucking hatred right now, I am a literal danger to my and everyone else's safety.”
Lilia made quiet work of prying Malleus off of Yuu, though he was clearly still concerned himself, “It's natural to bleed out of your nethers?”
“Where I'm from? Unfortunately yes.” Yuu shrugs, holding Malleus's hand as the horned fae tried to reattach himself to their side, “The pussy is a curse and the price must be paid in blood sadly.” They say it with a level of nonchalance that only has the Diasomnia crew looking at them in worry.
Malleus grips tighter to Yuu's hand, raising it to press a gentle kiss to their knuckles, “Please, there has to be something that can be done to ease this curse…”
“...” Yuu pulled Malleus to the living room, showing the plethora of blankets and pillows on the floor. Empty bottle and snack wrappers pushed to a corner of the rug in an effort to keep the cozy area of the floor clear. Yuu gestures to the darkened room, heavy curtains closed to enhance the perfect sleep environment, “You guys can do whatever around the house. But, if you wanna join me, I was about to lay down in the dark listening to sad music and take a nap.”
Sebek sneers, eyes squinted as he mumbled out, “It's 8am…?”
Yuu whips around, ignoring Malleus's worried fretting for their neck, “Hey, Sebek? You don't need to fucking be here.”
Sebek's sneer turned into a deep frown, his expression clearly showing how badly he wanted to yell back. But with their ‘illness’, plus Malleus's protective stance, he knew he'd quicker be scolded than actually get a sentence out.
“Wow, you are more full of hate. You normally let Sebek get at least four sentences out before telling him to be quiet.” Silver moves to sit on the couch, only to realize that Yuu had removed all of the larger cushions and used them as padding for the floor.
Malleus looked over the sad state of his lover's nest, frowning before he pulled Yuu closer to ask them quietly, “Would you mind if I fixed your nest? This looks…barely functional.”
Yuu smiles, bringing a hand up to pat Malleus's face gently, “Do as you please, Peligroso.” 
Malleus kisses their palm before moving toward the mash-up of cushions, blankets, and - to his distaste - bloody towels. He first deconstructed the mess, organizing the materials he had before coming to the conclusion he needed more.
No one tried to stop Malleus as he walked out of the room, his pupils dilated as he busied himself in nest-making.
“Beastie, are you really well? Mundane for you aside, losing that much blood at a steady pace can't be good for you…” The scent of blood was off at that. Fresh blood was concerning enough, but the smell of old blood was not good if one was actively bleeding.
Yuu waves their hand, sneaking a towel from Malleus's separated piles to sit on, “No need to worry Lils; Crewel’s made sure I've been taking iron supplement potions, plus I'm still taking the multivitamin Riddle demanded I start at the beginning of the year once our beef ended.”
Malleus returns, bulks of blankets and pillows floating behind him into the room. He quickly turns a sharp eye toward Yuu, seeing one of the cleaner towels had been taken from his nest piles. But at seeing their smile, he could only sigh and begin building.
Lilia clicks his tongue, holding the old medical bag in his hands, “Well, I'm not sure how useful this gauze is going to be then if it coming out from such an area…I'm not sure you're open to the idea of it…being inserted.”
“I'm not.”
“Fair.” Lilia removed the bag from his shoulder, allowing it to drop to the ground. Walking closer to Malleus, yet still a few feet away, he started to teasingly offer his unwanted opinion of how his ‘mate’ would like the nest to look.
Silver and Sebek took seats on the ground closer to Yuu, the second year pulling the medical bag into his lap as he started to look through it, “While the gauze may be useless, I think there's some pain ointment still in here. Possibly a potion but it's long bitter by now…Oh.”
From inside the bag, Silver pulled out a simple arm cuff attached to a hand pump and dial. It looked old, but the metal holding it together still shined, “Lend me your arm, I want to check your blood pressure.”
“My blood pressure? Why?” Yuu still held their arm out, letting Silver gently clasp the cuff to their lower bicep, “I haven't felt light headed.”
“You might not have noticed if you've been bleeding as long as you have…” he starts to pump the bulb, the cuff growing tighter, “Just see it as a way for me to get peace of mind…”
Silver and Sebek watch the needle, their expressions slowly turning concerned at the reading.
Sebek whispered under his breath, one of his eyes twitching in annoyance as he reread the result, “Why is it high?”
Yuu blinked, looking at the dial before turning to Silver, “Yeah, that's…normal.”
“...Really?”
“I don't know, man. I'm 15, I've never had to know what my normal blood pressure is.”
Silver sighed, deflating the cuff and removing it, “Did you never take notice of it when you went to the doctor for check ups?”
“Silver, baby boy, I haven't been to the doctor since I was in elementary school. Do you not know how expensive a doctor appointment is?”
“I really hate when you say things like that…” Silver still didn't understand how a simple doctor's visit cost money. It was a universal service, all they'd have to do was walk into the nearest office and simply wait.
Yuu hummed, nodding her head, “I forget that you guys have free healthcare here…I kinda just conditioned myself to be ok with dying since the doctor was so expensive where I'm from.”
Silver sighed, fingers pressing against his temple, “Please, curb that habit. For all of our sakes…”
“You got a will to live in there then?”
“...” Silver looks through the bag, managing to pull out an antique-looking locket that held a graying, grainy photo of a confused-looking Malleus on one side and a more vivid photo of a sleeping infant Silver on the other, “I think this is what father uses?”
“Oh my god?” Yuu couldn't stop the bubbling laughter that started when they spoke. They cover their mouth and gently bring the locket closer to look at the photos. Only now do they realize Malleus in the photo has a small circlet of a crown on his forehead. There was no telling how old the photo was, possibly in a time the first camera was even made and Lilia got his hands on one.
They snort, letting the locket swing from their hand and allow Silver to place it back in the bag, “Ok…that works. I now have the strength to carry on.” From the corner of their eye, they can see Sebek's stern gaze staring into the side of their face, “Yes, Sebek? Can you be helped?”
The half-faes's face pinches together harder, lip curling up into a scowl as he looks away briefly. His mild avoidance was short-lived, turning back to Yuu with an expression of concern, “You're…You're okay now, correct?”
At Yuu and Silver's stunned expressions, Sebek grows more timid, thumbs twiddling together as he clasped his hands, “Ace’s texts didn't give much info. But even knowing that…that didn’t transpire, this is still a worrying state of affairs.” Sebek looks up from his hands, staring into Yuu's eyes with steady resolve, “We have our differences more than anything. But I count you as my comrade in ensuring Waka-Sama’s happiness. Your continued good health would be in the best interest of all!”
It was no secret that Yuu and Sebek did not get along. Their first official meeting was a brawl that neither walked away from unscathed (and Sebek left the fight with a secret he'd be taking to his grave under Lilia's instructions). They bickered, fought, and openly slandered each other every chance they got. Truely, the only things keeping them from killing each other were the facts they shared the same friend group and that Yuu was romantically involved with Malleus. Yuu was sure without those factors, Sebek would have actually declared them an enemy of Briar Valley itself.
So to see and hear the other first-year state that he was concerned was jarring at best. 
Yuu stared at Sebek, the half-fae looking at them with an open and vulnerable expression as he waited for their truth. Honestly, were they ok? It'd been only a few days but this felt like the worst period Yuu had ever had. And seeing how their flow wasn't easing as it normally would, they were sure it was going to be longer than normal too. They were in pain, everyone was treating them as though they would shatter at the slightest inconvenience. They were free bleeding of all things…but, their friends cared and were each trying to make things better. 
Azul and the Tweels had basically tried to cater their every meal, though they kept their distance; mer noses were so sensitive to blood after all. Crewel would come in the evenings with medication and conversation. Riddle was compiling a list of some kind with Jade, but he was using info from their “interview” to figure out ways to ease their symptoms. Ace and Deuce had both swore to actually take notes for once so that they wouldn't fall behind in their classes. Trey had texted a number of times, sneakily trying to gauge their temperament so he could ambush them with baked goods. Cater had sent several photos of wet, angry, disheveled-looking cats with the caption ‘this u?’ whenever they were in a bad mood.
Even just yesterday, Jack had basically appointed himself as their bodyguard, not allowing anyone closer than 2 feet from their person. Ruggie had gone into nursemaid mode and Yuu was mildly terrified at how prepared and willing he was to help them deliver a baby. Even Leona's lazy ass had helped. Held them while they cried all the way to their dorm, calling them at midnight just to check if they were sleeping and not up alone with their thoughts.
And now, the Diasomnia family unit had brought them a first aid kit. Not the correct move, but a show of concern either way. Looking into Sebek's face only cemented how cared for they were by their forged family. Yuu opened their mouth slightly as though to speak, waiting as Sebek perked up, leaning closer to fully hear what they were about to say.
Instead of words, all that escaped Yuu's mouth was a burp that traveled directly into Sebek's face.
The half-fae sputters, annoyance growing at Silver's near silent ‘Excuse you’ to the other human. He wiped at his face as though he could remove the air, growling before he pointed a finger at Yuu's smug little grin, “You should have been killed when your mother birthed you!”
“Sebek.”
Sebek quickly placed his hand in his lap, frowning hard as he looked down in an odd mixture of shame and anger. Malleus had turned around and scolded him almost instantly. The dragon fae was frowning, eyes filled with a disappointment only an older sibling could give. He stared long enough until Sebek finally relented and spoke through gritted teeth at Yuu.
“My deepest apologies. You are injured and I have no reason to…antagonize you. Please, forgive me…”
“Did that hurt to say, Sebek?”
Silver placed a hand on Yuu's shoulder, trying to not sigh or laugh their antics, “Yuu…”
Yuu smiled, tilting their head and nodding, “Apology accepted, Sebek. Just don't be mean to me, okay~?”
Translation; I'm going to milk this for your whole visit.
Sebek's frown curled so tight it could only be called a pout. But seeing how he didn't speak further, Yuu turned to speak directly to the 3rd years only to choke mildly at the new impressive structure taking up space adjacent to the fireplace.
What was once their sad faux floor bed set up was a large blanket nest. Pillows tastefully lining the sides for support and comfort, blankets laid together to cover the couch cushions while some were still free to wrap in. A large throw blanket suspended in the air by magic cloaks the whole structure like an open tent. It looked cozy, it looked inviting. Yuu almost hated how proud Malleus looked of his work.
“...” Yuu rolled their eyes, trying to hide their blush as they turned away from Malleus's increasingly smug face, “Ok, your nest is very impressive. Are you proud of yourself?”
“Not until you are in it.”
Lilia spoke quietly, eyes giving Malleus a playful warning look as he chuckled, “Remember you two, we're here with you…”
Yuu laughs, standing from their towel and stretching, “Alright, nap time.” They take care to place down the towel, climbing into the nest and making themselves comfortable in the structure. They had no actual animal-based DNA, but they felt the need to curl up and sleep for DAYS from their new cozy spot. Malleus had built the nest well.
Opening their eyes, they could barely stop the snort that tried to escape them. Malleus was pressed against the side of the nest, eyes wide and focused on them. Yuu tilted their head, smiling widening as Malleus tilted his head in response, “You wanna join me?”
The question makes Malleus lean back, eyes almost bulging out of his head before he manages to school his features, “So bold…As always.” He laughs from behind his hand, “I’m happy to see you are in better spirits compared to yesterday.”
Yuu casts him a confused glance, wondering just when the dragon fae had seen them yesterday. While Malleus made himself comfortable beside them, they looked at the remaining Diasomnia unit standing at attention around the nest, “You guys coming in?”
Lilia snorts, ignoring Mallues’s glare demanding they refuse Yuu’s invitation, “Are you sure, Beastie? We wouldn’t want to intrude…” His eyes lock on Malleus’s, communicating silently that if Yuu invited them into their nest, it’d be rude to deny their request.
“I mean I invited you in the first place.” They gesture to the empty space beside them and Malleus, “Plus, this thing has room for like four more people…”
Malleus mumbles under his breath, an arm wrapping around Yuu’s middle and bringing them closer to his body to nuzzle into their hair, “Or eight children…”
“What?”
“Hm?” Malleus pulls from their hair, smiling at their confused face before making himself comfortable against them again.
Lilia actually laughs this time, “Well, if you insist.”
Everyone climbs into the nest; Lilia pressed against Malleus’s side with Silver beside him already half asleep. Sebek had begrudgingly made his place beside Yuu, huffing as the human offered their hand to hold. Neither of them speaking when Sebek does grip their hand gently. Once everyone had seemed cozy, Yuu retrieved their phone from their pajama pants pockets, opening their ‘sad times’ playlist to start playing music. But the sound of a thud rings out from the kitchen, everyone turning to the noise in mild suspense. Soon, Grim enters the room with a bag of cookies clutched in his mouth.
Yuu raises an eyebrow but helps Grim climb his way into the nest, the cat curling up against their side squished between them and Sebek, “Was that you? Did you fall off of something-hold on.” They grab the bag of cookies from Grim, frowning once they realize what they were holding, “Are these the good cookies? You little shit, you said you ate the last of them!”
Grim grumbled, curling up tighter to Yuu’s side and swatting at their hand tugging on his ear, “I lied! You always hog them so when you left one day I hid them to snack on myself…But…” He huffed, looking at them from the corner of his eyes, “I think you need them more than I do…”
“...” Yuu sniffled, fanning their face as tears started to build in their eyes, “Grim…Grim…” They take a shuddering breath, ignoring the others watching them in worry, “I already threw up like twice yesterday from crying so hard, I’m not doing it again.”
“Parden?” Malleus’s brows creased. When did they throw up!? Just how severe was this illness?
Yuu waves his concerns off, tapping onto their ‘Sad Vibes’ playlist, setting it to shuffle before they connect to the lounge speakers, “It's not important, Malleus. I'm not gonna cry. We're gonna lay down in the dark and listen to sad songs and sleep.”
Sebek mumbles from beside Yuu, his free hand petting a softly purring Grim, “That seems to be the perfect setting to cry in…?”
Lilia gives Yuu a worried glance but doesn't agree nor disagree. He instead places a hand on Malleus’s shoulder, a silent effort to calm the dragon's fussing, “Well, if we're going to listen to music, just none of that Mitsuki woman please…”
Silver blinks his eyes open, tiredly looking to Lilia, “But I like the dog song.”
“...” Lilia sighs, his arm moving to wrap around Silver's shoulders and bringing him closer, “I…I know…”
Yuu tearfully laughed, laying their head onto a softly fretting Malleus. Their weak laughter breaks from teary into genuine amusement as the first song starts.
My baby, my baby…
Leaning over Malleus, snickering as the dragon fae gently presses her head back down to his chest as a silent command to sleep, Yuu whispers to Lilia, “I’m sorry…”
Lilia’s smile is strained, his grip on a sleeping Silver slowly increasing as he fought against his own emotions, “No you're not…”
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The nap lasted far too long, Malleus thought to himself. The dragon fae didn't actually sleep, but he kept watch of his family as they did. Silver of course slept, curled up in Lilia's intense embrace before the bat general eased into a light sleep. Though Sebek had been the most against the nap, he had dozed off not long after Silver. One hand still gripping onto Yuu’s while the other resting on a snoring Grim's back.
Yuu was out almost immediately after Sebek, a content smile on their face as they curled up to Malleus's chest. A smile he watched slowly fade through the hours. A common occurrence as one slept, something he's learned from years of watching Silver. What concerned him were the twitches and grimaces of pain that started to increase the longer they stayed asleep. He didn't want to wake Lilia to ask for advice, the older fae having spent most of his night in worry over Yuu's condition and it didn't help he wasn't a morning person normally.
But if the discomfort was enough to affect Yuu's sleep, it was no wonder they felt the need to nap so early in the morning. They possibly hadn't slept the night before from pain alone. He had spent a few moments thinking how he could help, an arm around their waist and a hand pressed to their lower stomach to ease magic from his fingertips. His healing magic wasn't nearly as refined as he wanted. No matter how much magic he poured in, there were no wounds to be closed on the surface. But he could feel how Yuu would curl into his palm, almost trying to trap the heat close to them.
So for the past two hours he laid in a nest with his fiancé, his father, his brother, his brother's ‘friend’, and a cat; palm pressed just above his lover's mysteriously bleeding anatomy to act as a glorified hot water bottle.
Though he had no true method of knowing, he felt as though his grandmother was laughing at his predicament.
And while he did find the lyrics and vocals of Miss Amy Lee to be rather enchanting, he felt relieved to hear the music stop playing abruptly and a shrill beeping take its place. He couldn't help but smile, listening to everyone minus Silver groan at the sound of the alarm. Lilia huffed, snuggling his nose into Silver's hair while the human knight remained perfectly asleep. Sebek had pouted but still sat up, blinking in mild confusion as to where he was. Yuu had tried to bury their head in the space between his arm and chest, a hand reaching out blindly to no doubt silence the alarm.
As much as Malleus enjoyed his loved ones sleeping peacefully around him, he didn't think letting them sleep anymore was the correct choice. He smiled, easily catching Yuu's hand to gently kiss their knuckles, “My dear. I do believe your nap is over now.”
Yuu groans, but doesn't try to pull away, “At least turn the alarm off…”
Lilia clicks his tongue, finally pulling away from Silver to sleepily reach for Yuu's still blaring phone, “I got it…”
“Thanks-ack!” They were batted in the face by Grim's increasingly annoyed tail, the dire beast fighting to stay asleep from the rising noise. A move that had Yuu sneezing after a few moments.
The fae and Grim instantly snapped to attention. Yuu's sneeze was quickly followed by an overwhelming scent of blood. The sudden change in the atmosphere instantly waking Silver. Sebek had tightened his grip on Yuu's hand, almost as though he were helping them to brace against pain. Grim scrambled away from their side, moving to frown and shake from the other side of Sebek.
Malleus brought both his arms to wrap around Yuu's body. How could he let his guard down in such a way? They were sick. Why did he assume a nap was the correct choice to make? They should be in the care of a professional. Now they had clearly torn something, or something had hemorrhaged and they were bleeding out internally-
Lilia turned the alarm off, quickly kneeling and placing his hands on Yuu's knees, “Yuu, I know you said this was natural. But this is concerning. As your future midwife, I implore you allow me to check there isn't actual damage to yourself.”
“I- Lilia, I'm fine. I just sneezed.” Sneezing on one’s period was never nice, sure. Yuu fully felt as though they just forced out half their bladder even though they knew that wasn't the case. “It happens sometimes. The clenching just makes blood come out.”
Malleus growls, his arms tightening around Yuu's body. Lilia was right. No matter how much Yuu claimed it was normal and routine, they shouldn't be bleeding like this, “My love, please. Let him check. Lilia has more medical training than possibly anyone on campus. Just allow him to check.”
“Malleus-”
“Please…” Malleus pleads, concern clear on his and the other's face.
“...” Yuu rolls their eyes but starts to shimmy their pajama pants down, “Fine. If it'll calm you down.”
Sebek and Silver instantly look away, though both shuffle closer in an act to box Yuu in so that no one else could see the human’s privates.
Lilia was quiet, eyes looking unblinkingly at what he could only describe a mess. He was careful, only touching Yuu's anatomy for brief moments to send pings of magic through the flesh to search for opened wounds. But other than the blood he couldn't find anything that would call for concern. Leaning back he sighed, bringing the back of his hand to rub at his eyes, “By the Seven, this is a mess…”
“Wow, Lilia. I'm so happy you're here to stare into my abyss and call it a fucking mess.” Yuu glared, hoping their voice carried just how annoyed they were, “Really, I'm so glad.”
“My apologies, Beastie. I just haven't seen a vagina in this bloody a state since Sebek was born…”
Sebek half turned around, expression vaguely disgusted and horrified, “What?”
Yuu snorts, shaking Sebek’s hand still holding theirs in a way of gaining his attention, “Wow, Sebek, way to wreck your mom’s pussy.”
Sebek retaliated, using their still joined hands to twist and force Yuu’s arm into a painful bend. Yuu had quickly tried to escape his hold, both by wiggling their trapped arm and also using their free hand to slap at Sebek’s face while making repeated yelps of pain. Sebek had managed to dodge only a few hits until a bolt of lightning hit just outside, the flash sending the room into a blinding state before the light faded. Malleus glared down at Sebek, silently demanding the half-fae release his fiance.
Once freed, Yuu instantly pointed toward Sebek while looking at Lilia with wide eyes. Their tone coming out vaguely whining and childish, “He twisted my arm!”
Sputtering, Sebek looked between Yuu and Lilia. Pointing back at her while he looked at Lila pleading that he hears him out, “She talked about my mother’s vagina!”
“...” Lilia sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose before speaking, “Sebek, don’t twist Yuu’s arm; she’s already in pain. Yuu, don’t talk about Sebek’s mother’s vagina; you know he doesn’t like that.”
“Did that hurt to say?” Silver looked at his father, half joking but delivered in such a painfully serious way that Lilia could only sigh harder.
Malleus’s expression only grew more concerned, arms wrapping tighter around Yuu and allowing his palms to heat a bit more. He only relaxed as Yuu themselves eased a bit more in his hold, “Yuu, please. Tell me what is causing this, If not for your own sake, but my own, I need to know. I have never been more distressed and on edge than these past few days. It isn't helpful either that you continue to be nonchalant, I dare say you've hurt my feelings with how you've been handling this…
“...” Yuu takes their time to pull their pajama pants back up, moving to sit up fully to look at Malleus directly, “Malleus, you're completely valid for feeling upset with me about all of this. In hindsight, I really should have just told you guys instead of disregarding Crewel’s attempts to keep this on the downlow for the sake of campus sanity. I fucked up, I will take that L. But I want you to know and consider that I have been in pain, tired, sad, and enraged both consistently and erratically for days. Do you really think the correct choice right now is to complain to me…about how my period…is making you feel?”
Malleus blinked, eyes darting to Lilia who only shook his head at Malleus's silent question. He looked down, then back to Yuu who was staring at him silently, almost waiting for him to answer incorrectly, “...I would still like to discuss this at a later date…when you are well again.”
“I'll make sure to set a meeting up with Azul, so that we both remember. Thank you for understanding…” Yuu's mood does a 180, now smiling and trying to stand from Malleus's arms, “Anyway, it's like noon now right? I know I have a bunch of stale tortillas and shredded cheese in the kitchen so we can make quesadillas-”
Malleus refused to remove his arms from around Yuu, basically pulling the human back into his lap, “I would like to speak about why you're dodging my question though.”
Yuu hummed, looking up to Malleus's face as they slowly twisted a strand of their hair, “...What are you talking about?”
“You are…well aware of what I've been asking you.”
“I'm really not.”
“Yuu-”
“You're sounding crazy right now.”
Malleus scoffs, rolling his eyes playfully, “Don't attempt to gaslight me. I keep asking you what caused this ailment or how I can ease this plague and you…don't answer me.” Malleus narrows his eyes, arms wrapping tighter against Yuu's body when they subtly tried to move away from him again, “Do you simply wish to…not tell me?”
“...” Yuu sighed, resting their head against Malleus’s shoulder. They smile, looking up into his eyes with a soft affection, “You know I love you right?”
“Your feminine wiles aren't getting you out of this. Answer my question.”
Silver speaks up, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes, “Malleus, they may not have an answer as to what caused it…”
Sebek grunts from Yuu's side, eyes casting a worried look back to the other freshman's covered anatomy, “If they don't know what caused it then that's even more concerning. This could be a serious medical emergency and we're all twiddling our thumbs because the one who's ill says they're fine.”
“I am fine. I just…don't wanna say why this happens…”
Lilia perks up, raising an eyebrow as he rests his chin on Yuu's now pressed together knees, “So this illness is triggered?”
“Yes? No?” Yuu huffs, raising their hands in a form of defeat, “It just happens man. But like…for a reason.”
Malleus frowned, almost pouting as he gently moved Yuu's chin to make them look directly into his eyes, “Yuu. My dear. I'm deeply concerned. Please, just tell me what causes this so we may prevent it…”
“...” Yuu sighs, closing their eyes before opening them, “...This happens when I don't get pregnant.”
Silver fully turns to Yuu, eyes focusing on the other human as though he could physically see through what he begged was a lie, “Are…Are you serious?”
“Like the fucking heart attack that will take Sebek out one day.”
“Hey-”
“Oh!” Malleus smiles, his eyes shining to the point Yuu was certain they were glowing, “This is easily fixed then.”
Yuu continued to smile, shaking their head knowing what the dragonfae was going to suggest, “...Malleus…”
“I simply need to impregnate you. Then you won't be affected by this plague again.”
“...” Yuu sighed, “No…”
“...” Malleus's expression falls back into an angered pout, “Why not?”
“It doesn't work that way…”
“...” His expression deepens, “How does it not ‘work that way’ exactly?”
Lilia patted Yuu's leg, flicking his head toward the entryway of the lounge as a silent command to Sebek and Silver, “We're gonna go…”
Yuu turned away from Malleus, blinking at Lilia in astonishment as the fae and other Diasomnia pair stand up, “Now why the fuck would you do that?”
Silver was kind enough to scoop Grim into his arms, the dire beast still shivering from the sudden scent of blood, “We’ve come to an agreement that we’d leave the room when you two start fighting.”
“We aren’t even fighting…” Yuu muttered under their breath, making a point to not look toward Malleus’s upset face. They’re pretty sure they’d start giggling at how frustrated he’s being about this.
Sebek shakes his head, already walking out of the room, “You become incredibly uncivil to everyone when you and Waka-Sama have disagreements. Lilia-Sama is right in having us leave the area before you two really start…”
“We aren’t fighting?”
“We’re fighting a little…” Malleus mutters under his breath, glaring off to the side.
Yuu glares over their shoulder, “No, we aren’t.”
Lilia walked behind Silver, holding his hands up as they left the room, “We’re gonna go. We'll make you two those quesadillas!” He ignored Yuu’s wide eyed stare, closing the doors of the lounge behind him and leaving Yuu and Malleus alone in the room.
The silence was loud, the two of them sitting comfortably in the nest. After a few more moments of quiet, Yuu sighs loudly, tucking their head to Malleus's chest and nuzzling into him gently.
Malleus sighs himself, leaning down to press a kiss to the crown of Yuu's head, “My love…please. You're hurting and I don't understand why you won't let me help in the best way I can…”
“Because it wouldn't actually help, Malleus.” They felt bad. It hadn't really hit them just how out of the realm of reality their period was to everyone. Sure the event itself could be scary in their old world, the amount of first period horror stories only grew as the years went on. But to have no frame of reference… the concept of a period sounded downright terrifying.
“How?” Malleus huffed, an air of frustration growing. Were they joking around? Deliberately speaking in circles to annoy him as a tease? “You said this happens if you don't get pregnant. If you get pregnant, then you will not have to deal with this ailment.”
At Yuu's own frustrated sigh, Malleus's eyes widen, “Is…is it too late?” A feeling of guilt starts to grow in him. Were they meant to be impregnated at a specific time? Had a window of opportunity been missed? Was this the rest of Yuu's life now; bleeding out of their intimates and crying so hard they were forced to purge?
Yuu couldn't help but chuckle at Malleus's face, reaching up to bring the worried fae closer for a gentle kiss. They speak as they pull away, “Calm down. This isn't going to last forever and I'll be back to normal by the end of the week at worst.”
Malleus curls around them, his hand still a gentle heat on their lower stomach, “But why wouldn't we simply skip this and just…start our agreement now? If the trigger for this ailment is that you weren't impregnated, why can't we have our child now so that you won't have to suffer this way.”
“I'll be honest with you, Malleus. It's literally because I don't wanna be a teen mom; that's the main reason. But also…there's no guarantee my period would stop during a pregnancy. Plus it'll still come back like a few months after having the baby…”
“...” Malleus pulls away from Yuu, staring at them in a silent state of confusion but his eyes were screaming, “Why…would you get the period…if you're pregnant? Isn't that…you stated you get your period if you don't get pregnant?”
“That is correct, yes.”
“...But…you could also…get your period…if you are pregnant?”
“Ye…”
“...”
Another long stretch of silence passed in the room and Yuu felt as though they could physically see the gears turning in Malleus's head. Double checking the math one would say.
“...Then what's the point of it?”
Yuu snickers under their breath, “Well, I don't think I'm knowledgeable enough to really give you the TED talk about the Tree of Knowledge and the original sin…”
“...” Malleus placed a hand on their forehead, “Are you…have you gained a fever? Is delirium a symptom of your period?”
“I'm not crazy, shut up.” Yuu pushes Malleus's hand off of their face with a grin. Cozying back into his embrace, one of their hands resting on his pressed to their lower stomach, “Periods are weird and horrible and I do not have the answers you're seeking sadly.”
Malleus could only sigh, feeling a pit growing in his mind and heart as he felt his uselessness to his love in this situation, “Is there anything you'll allow me to do? I only wish to help you during this…”
Yuu hums, reaching up to gently cupping Malleus's cheek, “This is plenty. Just…hold me and tell me you love me…”
“I love you, dear.” Malleus smiles, soft and kind as he nuzzled into Yuu's palm, “Though I'm loathed and disconcerted, I'm delighted to know I can at least help in this way…”
“I am too. You surprisingly make a great heating pad.”
Malleus moves to remove his hand, “Oh, is my hand too warm-”
Yuu quickly grips at Malleus's hand, face still calm and content but their fingernails bite into the fae's skin, “If you take this hand off of my body I will rip your spine out of you through your asshole.”
“Ah…”
They sat in comfortable silence, Malleus only mildly terrified at the visual of his spine being removed from his body by force. Their serene atmosphere half ended by Lilia happily bursting into the room with a plate of slightly charred quesadillas.
“Lunch time~!” Lilia walked to the nest, kneeling down and holding out the least burnt tortilla to Yuu's face, “Pspspspspspsps.”
Yuu's eyes snap open, a wild smile on their face as Malleus chuckled and kept them locked in his arms, “Lilia Vanrouge, I will break the fucking bones in your ears. Did Cater tell you to do this!?”
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lovrsm · 6 months
Text
ɢᴏʀɢᴇᴏᴜꜱ
sum: in which your brother invites you to a party, and oh god, you're so glad you accepted.
word count: 2.4k
pairing: charles leclerc x singer!reader
warnings: drinking, curse words & insinuation of cheating.
Spotify - Apple Music
ᴍᴀɪɴ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ
ᴘᴀʀᴛ ɪ - ᴘᴀʀᴛ ɪɪ - ᴍᴇᴅɪᴀ ᴀᴜ
"you should take it as a compliment that I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk"
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Monaco was such a lovely place, when my brother had told me about it I thought he was exaggerating. I mean, it wouldn't be that weird if he had, he's always excited about everything, he's the kind of guy who makes you see as if the world is made of bright rainbow colors, and I believe him.
I arrived from the airport about 2 hours ago, I was on my way to the hotel where Lando was staying, he told me he got another room for me. How could I say no?
He called me yesterday at about 3pm
"No, I'm telling you, IT WILL BE THE PARTY OF THE YEAR!" he screamed over the phone, making me laugh.
"Lando, I just came from signing with my sponsors, they expect me to write more songs in a 4 months period, you know how complicated that's going to be?" I exhaled, taking off my heels, tossing them across the room as I lay down on the couch. I was exhausted.
"C'mon, you'll have plenty of things to write songs about, look, I can already hear it!" he started to hum a catchy tone, making the corners of my mouth go up. "Lando... Jake won't be able to be there, god, I don't even know if he'll want me to be there, you know?"
I could already see him in the doorway telling me where am I.
Sure, he was on canada filming, but what if he finds out?
"I'm not even letting you say no, I'm already booking tickets, get all you need, you can even shop here if you want, I just want my sister with me tomorrow night with me"
"You better go get me at the airport Lando Norris."
"I wont let you down peanut" He chuckled and hung up on me.
Well he kinda let me down, he couldn't come get me due to some last minute meeting he had. I don't really mind, I know having a busy life is exhausting.
I thanked the taxi driver giving his a generous tip, my bodyguard helped me get out my suitcases, I had a hoodie and black sunglasses, he had a casual outfit so we wouldn't stand out.
For being a top artist in the whole world, I did not like having that much security. But it was an obligation, not an option, I had to stick to what my manager and team asks me to do.
_
After a busy day of shopping and walking around the streets, I could barely feel my feet. I had gotten a beautiful short red dress. Perfect fit for the occasion. It was just 7p.m. and Lando had texted me he was on his way to my dorm.
The door opened to reveal my very festive brother in the other side "You're here!" "I'm here!" I screamed back jumping into his arms.
We catched up, he was telling me about how he checked the track, for the next season, since we were in December. Although I never really understood racing, when we were kids our parents would take us out to the karts, and I'd always crash while he was beating all of us who tried to play.
He focused on sports and I focused on music, since I was 12 years old I learned to play the guitar. My mom used to tell me that I was a genius at writing songs, I guess many people think the same.
Time passed by too fast, with him I felt like an hour were just 5 minutes.
After hating each other all our childhood, we became closer than ever after my career and his took off. I think it was because we were twins, we hated it when people said we acted the same, because physically we are not alike at all. I am so much prettier, obviously.
it was already 8 o'clock "I'm leaving, I should get ready, do you wanna come with me?"
"I'd stopped talking to you if you let me get there alone, I know none of these guys Lando."
"I'm sure you'll know somebody miss famous." He bumped my shoulder and left my room, entering to his which was next door.
I took my time getting ready. God, I love being a woman. I took a bath, fixed my hair, put on my make-up and finally there was the dress, hanging on the bathroom door. I think it is one of the most beautiful dresses I have ever seen in my life.
How did I manage to put on the mini dress correctly by myself? I don't even know, but I couldn't stop looking at myself in the mirror. God if only someone could look at me.
Oh wait! There is someone, I grabbed my phone to click his name, my phone started to ring. I waited patiently, but he did not answer. So I called him once more, this time he did answer.
I heard loud music and singing in the back. "What do you need?" he asked, I could hear the irritation in his voice. "I wanted to hear from you, we haven't talked-"
"We talked last Monday, wasn't that enough? I'm busy." He interrupted me.
"Where are you?" I asked intrigued this time.
"Uhm... I'm in the bar with some friends"
"Oh and that's just more important than your girlfriend?" I raised my voice at him, I was now sitting the edge on the bed.
"Look, I don't want to fight, just call me later." He said, basically hanging the phone. "Jake..." I said before he could do so.
"What?" He sounded desperate. "Take care." I said.
"Ok" He hung. I felt disgusted, why? not idea, I just felt dirty, as if I was forcing him to talk to me. I took some deep breathes so I could calm my nerves down.
I don't even want to go out anymore.
I tried hard not to cry, I wasn't going to ruin my makeup over some small argument, I'm sure tomorrow we'll be alright, we always end up alright.
It felt as an eternity till I heard a knock on my door, I quickly grabbed my bag, looked in the mirror once more to fix my dark wavy hair, and rushed to the door. I opened it, in the side was Lando, his back on the wall while he was looking at his phone.
He turned it off and looked at me, I smiled "Ready to go Peanut?"
"Lets go"
_
We finally got to the club, electronic music was blasting off, people were already drunk, and boy they didn't even tried to hide it.
We had to basically run to the VIP area, I didn't said anything to my bodyguard about this, besides, he can use a break.
Lando was immediately greeted by everyone who was in the room. "LANDO!" A man screamed to him "Ayee, we're here!" He said hugging the man, and patting him in the back. "you're so late, you were the only ones missing!"
"we're here Pierre, I'd like to present to you all my sister!" He hugged me by the side and I waved with a smile on my face. It seemed that most of them recognized me, because some of them just stood there in shock "Hey everyone, ready to get wasted?" I laughed, that made them less tense and cheered, lifting their cups.
Lando gave a me a sweet kiss in my head, "see, you'll be fine, have some fun peanut!" I let go and we both went our own way.
I started to talk to a girl, her name is Kika, I learnt she was the girlfriend of a guy named Pierre Gasly. I've heard about him but no one ever told me how fun his girlfriend was!
"Girl, you should try this margarita, the most wholesome thing you'll have in your life!"
She was not kidding with that. In a few minutes, I had asked for... about 5 of them, or maybe just 13.
I had talked to everyone in the room by 10 pm, they were all so fun, and the energy was of another planet.
"Yeah, and then Max would make that grumpy face. I swear he looks like and old man!"
"very mature Lando, so mature." I bursted out laughing. "LECLERC HAS ARRIVED!" I heard someone scream in the entrance, and in seconds half of the group was there greeting the guy.
I decided I was going to take something else than a margarita. I walked up to the bartender, who definitely did not understood me. I don't know if I was speaking too softly or if I was just way too drunk to talk, but I decided to leave, I turned around and bumped into someone.
I was about to loose my balance till his arms were wrapped around my waist, I was able to stand straight. "are you alright?" he asked.
I looked into his eyes, green eyes "what?"was all I could manage. "Are you alright?" He asked again, I now noticed a thick accent, I bursted out laughing for that.
He looked so confused, he let go and chuckled with me. For a second it was as if the whole club was quiet. I looked again at him, and I immediately looked down at the floor. He grabbed my hand, the lights went out for a second and my world spun. My legs were about to give up.
His touch was... it was, god I can't even say it.
"I'm Charles, what's your name?"
I bit my lip, what went out of my mouth was definitely not what I wanted to say. "Do you always talk like that?" I asked a bit to seriously, I chuckled so that I wasn't that rude.
"Yeah, my first language isn't english."
"Huh." I said, I felt as if he had a goddamn magnetic field and it was pulling me towards him, I couldn't stand it.
I ran off to the other side of the room, leaving him standing alone next to the bar.
_
All night.
All night I couldn't stop thinking about him, his hand touching my hand in the darkened room...
and I made fun of the way he talked.
I'm never drinking again.
Yet there I was, in the bar once more, asking for whiskey. Mature, so mature.
I kept bouncing back and forth between the people there, once I saw Charles walking to my way, I would ran to the other side of the room.
I have a boyfriend for gods sake! I can't be thinking these unhealthy things about him.
But, I mean, can you blame me?
Look at him.
His first two buttons were unbottened which made him look so attractive. And you should see his dimples, he's so gorgeous it actually fucking hurts!
"So you're not going to talk to me?" I heard a voice behind my ear. His chest touching my back. I didn't move, but I did answer.
"Who said I wasn't going to?" I asked playfully, with a grin on my face, knowing he couldn’t see me.
He hummed in my ear, before he turned me to look him in the eye, he grabbed my neck, but he didn't kiss me. Instead, he brought his lips back to my ear.
"Then why do you keep running, huh?" His hot breath sent a shiver down my spine. I was dumbfolded by his actions, he took a step back to look at me.
I looked into his eyes, I was absolutely taking him in. I looked at his dimples because of the grin he had in his face. His eyebrows, his slightly sweaty hair, with pieces of it falling into his face.
I couldn't help myself, I noticed how he looked into my eyes, and then to my mouth.
What if..?
I asked to myself, I closed my eyes and got closer to him, waiting for a kiss. But he grabbed me by my hips pulling me back.
"You're far too drunk, ma chou" I heard and opened my eyes, he gave me a sympathetic smile. I felt dumb for a second, but after seeing his face... I think I might be falling.
"Why don't we leave, would you like that?" I hugged him, my head in his neck. I nodded as fast as I could. He grabbed me and in a second, we were in his car.
For sure the alcohol got to my head that night.
_
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teamhandsometcth · 1 month
Text
A Monégasque Story (Part 5) - Charles Leclerc
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5
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Summary of the series - Y/n is Charles' best friend little sister. They grew up together but haven't seen each other's for years. Their relationship seems to take a different turn when Charles stay at her's and her brother's.
Warning - Both Y/n's and Charles' POV, Fem reader, Both Charles and Y/n speaking French (translated) tension, tooth rotting fluff, three years age gap, mature content, 18+, brother's best friend, friends to lovers, she felt first he felt harder...
Disclaimer: I'm French and my English is NOT perfect ! ⚠️ Please don't stole or repost my stories on any other sites. Btw reblogs are more then welcomed.
Charles’ POV
I feel her breath hitch slightly as I delicately trace over the delicate skin of her back. I wonder how often she moisturizes for her body to feel so smooth.
Why am I thinking about that? That’s such a weird thing to think about.
I shake it off, concentrating yet again on my task.
I’ve never really given anyone a massage before. I don’t even know where this proposition came from. I just really wanted her to join me on my run, and I wanted to do something in return that would be pleasurable for her. That’s the first thing I thought about that was appropriate.
When I was in the bathroom earlier, I looked up some massage tips on Google, trying to learn rather quickly how to make her feel good.
And it did come in handy for some stuff, sadly enough I forgot most of them. I tried to memorize a bit more when she got to her room to change but she was really quick.
So I'm trying my best with the little knowledge I have. I really want her to relax and have a great time.
I feel a spot on her right shoulder that seems a bit tense, so I insist on it a little, trying to follow the instructions I remember. Going delicately over the spot, and slowly increasing the pressure of my thumbs.
She lets out what I think is a muffled moan. Her head pressing further into the mattress. I smile knowing what I did felt good for her.
She whispers an embarrassed sorry, tensing up immediately.
I shake my head “No, no don’t apologize, I'm happy that you’re liking it, I just want you to feel good.” I smooth my hands up and down her back soothingly, feeling her gradually loosening under me.
“That’s it love, just relax.” The nickname slips out of my mouth before I can think twice about it.
It seems to happen a lot lately.
I start massaging the spot on her shoulder again once she’s completely relaxed. Taking my time to feel around the tenseness, working on it cautiously.
She slightly turns her previously hidden face on the mattress. I catch a tiny satisfied smile making its way on her lips.
She makes eye contact, making me smile down at her. “You’re adorable.” I state suddenly, just because it’s what I was thinking. Sometimes I have the impression that there’s no filter between my brain and my mouth when it comes to her.
It’s probably how five years ago I ended up telling her I liked her just before she flew to Paris. I had the worst timing known to man and messed everything up.
The truth is that I did not even think she would be saying it back. I was just trying to get it off my chest.
But then she flew to Paris, my first season in F1 started and I beat myself up every day for not saying it before.
Her cheeks grow slightly red at the compliment, and she just closes her eyes, relaxing completely under my touch.
I work on her shoulder a little more and progressively make my way down her back. Massaging the zones that are tenser, before smoothing my palms up and around so she knows that I'm done with her upper body.
I gently start to knead the skin on her hips, putting a bit more pressure, making her sigh happily.
“Could you maybe go slightly lower, just under the spot you’re at. I have this tension in my lower back… almost on my tailbone since yesterday after jumping from the boat.” She lets out hesitantly, as if she was still contemplating on asking me while she was already in the process of doing it.
“Here?” I ask after going a little lower.
She shakes her head “No not quite” I try again going even lower stopping once I reach the spot on her tailbone. She sighs. “Right here”
My fingers are brushing against the towel that lays over her bum as I timidly massage the indeed really tense area.
I work on it for a while, until I feel it loosen, then move down to her thighs, starting from the part toward her knees and working upward.
Her thighs are thicker than any other zone of her body, and I did not think I would say that one day but it has been really fun to massage. Her skin just feels so soft and full under my fingertips.
I work my way on her upper thighs cautiously, stopping at her bum.
I avert my eyes as her legs unconsciously squeeze together before loosening up again but farther than before. Giving me a clear view of her swimsuit bottom under the towel.
I just look away trying to remind myself not to read into it. This is just her body reacting to feeling good.
So I just concentrate back on my movement, before moving to her calves.
“Are you ready to turn around?” I ask her softly, seeing the sleepiness on her face.
She nods slightly, before putting her palms flat on the mattress and lifting herself up, before tying back her top that was threatening to reveal her pretty breasts.
She lays back down, getting comfortable with her head on my pillow this time. She pushes away the towel that was on her hips.
I don’t really know what to do now. Massaging her back was easy because I didn’t really see her face. Now with her eyes looking at me wide and soft, it feels way more intimate.
I drop the eye contact and clear my throat, looking around as if I would find a magical solution to make things less awkward.
I look up at her again, ready to make a joke on how she cannot stop looking at me, but my mind changes the minute I cross her gaze.
She harbors an expression similar but at the same time completely different than the minute before. I cannot neither describe nor decipher. A mix between lust and vulnerability.
My attention drops to my forearm as I feel the subtle touch of her hand on my wrist.
I don’t know what changed, but I feel it all around, I see it in her eyes, in her touch and her hazy breath. It’s like her boundaries dropped and she was letting me in for the first time in forever.
I move my hands to either side of her waist, caressing it slightly with my thumbs. Testing her limits.
It gains her attention, she looks down at them before almost immediately gazing back up at me. Her hand still on my wrist playing with my bracelets.
She looks so beautiful. I hadn’t been able to stop looking at her these last few days.
I put my finger under her chin, caressing her jaw with my thumb.
She melts in my hand, her breath hitching which made her mouth part lightly.
Her pupils are so dilated that I struggle to see the color in them.
I close the space between us, placing my lips on hers.
She kisses me back, her hand leaving my wrist to grip the back of my neck.
I bite her lower lip lightly, deepening the kiss. I can’t get enough of her.
Her mouth is so soft and her lips taste like strawberries.
I feel her tongue licking my bottom lip, asking for permission. It’s slow and controlled but at the same time it’s needy and not enough.
I open my mouth, licking her tongue back, before gripping her neck harder, pulling her closer to me.
She pulls away panting, her desiring eyes searching for mine. Opening her legs wider so I can step between them.
So I do, before going for her mouth again. She moans and I swear this is the only thing I want to hear from now on. It’s nothing like the one she let out when I was massaging her, it’s needy and pure longing.
Feeling my pants tighten, I groan against her lips “Tu me rends fou Y/n.“ (You‘re driving me insane)
She grips the hair at the back of my neck, drawing me impossibly close to her.
I pull away from her lips, trailing kisses all over her jaw, while she twirls on my hair harder, breathing heavily.
I bite and suck on her skin wanting to imprint it on her skin.
I don’t even know if I will ever find the words to describe what’s going on in the fuzziness of my mind. It’s deeper than lust, deeper than want. It’s visceral.
I need her all over me, I need her to invade all of my senses. I need to feel her, touch her, hear her… smell her. And damn, she smells so good.
“Charles” she lets out in a pant, her hands trailing all the way down my back, feeling around before coming back up to my neck.
I look up at her for a second, needing to take in her mesmerizing face, before moving from her neck to her breast.
I kiss the top of the left one, feeling the much tender skin under my lips. And move one hand to the right one squeezing it lightly between my palm.
A moan leaves her mouth for the third time tonight, followed by a faint and hazy “Char”
I drop my head in between them, sinking deeper into their plushness. I stay here for a second, loving all around them, before she grips back at my hair, pulling me toward her.
A restless expression lays around her face before she pulls me in for a kiss again.
She slowly pushes her tongue into my mouth, searching for mine and deepening the kiss as much as she could, her hand moving to my sides gripping my hipbones.
We jumpily pull away as an alarm suddenly starts going off. I extend my arm toward Y/N ‘s phone grabbing it for her.
I sigh as I see the contact picture of her and her brother hugging. “It’s Raphael” I let out in an almost panicked voice.
“She immediately sits up, “oh, ok” She grabs the phone in my hand and slides right to answer it.
“Hello…” Raphael's voice is muffled so it’s kind of hard to tell what he’s saying.
“Ok right I’ll see you soon then” she says nervously before hanging up and immediately rushing up.
“So, what did he say?” I ask trying to get some information, but she’s just looking around the room to see if there is any of her stuff “He’s gonna be home in a minute” she lets out rushingly before quickly walking to the door, closing the door behind her.
Raphael gets home five minutes later, Y/N is all cleaned up and changed. Talking so suspiciously, eagerly and with a high pitched tone to her brother that I'm sure even him knows something is up with her.
I try to make eye contact with her. Trying to figure out what she’s thinking, but she immediately glances away, anywhere but at me.
I'm stupid.
To be continued…
(Part 6 coming soon)
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I hope you guys liked it. It’s a bit longer than the last one so I’m happy.
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