#I think I’m finally starting to understand her better tho! it’s only taken me 15 years 🥳

[novamirmirsblog]

Favourite crime pt 2

Natasha Romanoff x reader

Word Count: 2936

Genre: angsty fluff? or fluffy angst 👀

Request: yes

Warnings: swearing, mentions of cheating, slight coercion into sex (it doesn't happen tho)

Part 1 is here

A/n: The long awaited part two is officially here. I had lots of people who wanted the reader to move on, people who wanted them to get back together and people who wanted both. Thank you everyone for your INDECISIVENESS (kidding. ily). Also Emma was a randomly generated name - I'm sorry :3

Did I write this fic instead of sleeping? Yes. I have no regrets.

It had been a year since you moved back home. The seasons had come and gone and with that, so had your thoughts of Natasha. The same could not be said for the assassin. She had spent a blissful 3 months with Bruce before he had dropped off the face of the Earth and she was missing you. By the 5th month, she had stopped moping about and tried to find you. She searched everywhere but your town was large and unfamiliar and you didn’t want to be found.

Natasha both regretted what she had said and didn't. She regretted it because she realised just how much she adored you once she saw all the areas Bruce fell short in. You knew her better than she sometimes knew herself. You knew when to back off and when to put pressure on. You knew when she needed control and when you needed to take control. You knew when she wanted ice cream or when she wanted brownies. Bruce didn't. However, a part of her didn't regret those nasty things she said because she really didn't deserve you. You were everything she wasn’t, and she didn't know how to measure up to you.

She never voiced these concerns and so they festered and grew until she believed the only way out was to cheat. She knew that was the only thing that could drive you away. Natasha had told you all about her past, how she believed the Red Room had stripped her of her humanity – of her choice whether to become a mother. She knew there were other ways to have children - of course there were, but she hated the fact they had taken that option from her.

You were not like Natasha. You voiced your concerns which is why she knew exactly what to say and do to get you to hate her. Your previous boyfriend had cheated on you with your once best friend. You had watched as your father cheated on your mother and how that made her a hollow shell for a while, her never understanding why the man she loved could hurt her in that way. Supposedly, everyone models their future relationships on what their parents’ relationship looked like. Perhaps that’s why you kept choosing the cheaters. You were content with where you were. You had a forest, a busy town, and a beach all within a 15-mile radius of your house. You were far enough from civilisation that you could forget about reality for a while but close enough to occasionally dip back in whenever you wanted to.

You had kept in contact with Tony and Pepper, congratulating them on the arrival of Morgan and insisting that they should visit. You also continued to occasionally talk to Wanda when Carol was off world. Carol was overjoyed when she found out you had started dating someone new.

You had met Emma when you were taking a dip back into reality at the local supermarket. Her blonde hair vaguely reminded you of a woman you used to know, and you guessed that’s why you felt drawn to her. It wasn’t the electrical crackle that stole your breath away like your first meeting with Natasha, but it was something. Emma could occasionally be a little controlling, but you guessed that’s what normal relationships were like. She didn’t like you going to bars or pubs anymore and you certainly weren’t allowed in any clubs. You didn’t mind it too much as you hardly minded giving up a few nights out if it meant you could have something that resembled normalcy.

“Who’s that?” Emma asked, your face illuminated from your phone as the ding rang out.

“A friend. He’s bringing his wife and new baby over tomorrow and was reminding me to baby-proof the house.” You smiled lightly as you texted Tony back. You hadn’t mentioned to Emma that you were an ex-avenger, but it just kept slipping your mind.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Who is he? Where will he be staying?”

“I just forgot. Sorry. He’ll be staying here.”

“But you only have a single bed.”

“Yeah. I was planning to sleep on that and Tony, Pepper and the baby can stay in my room.”

“You mean our room.”

You said nothing, too engrossed in arguing with Tony about how under no circumstances will there be any celery in your house. Apparently, that was the wrong thing to do.

“Our room, right Y/n?”

“Um yeah.” You wave her off was apparently your second mistake, but you didn’t multi-task too well and so half answers were all you were good for while texting.

“I have been your girlfriend for 3 months Y/n. The least you could do is answer me properly and tell me what’s going on in your life.” She huffed, pushing your feet from her lap, and turning to face away from you, all of which you missed. You really weren’t having that evil green vegetable in your house.

“Seriously, what is even so important that you’re ignoring me right now!” Emma’s voice cut through the fog, and you looked at her with a blank expression. It was times like these that you really missed Na- No. You refused to go there. You didn’t miss her. You were over her.

“No celery.”

Emma threw her hands up in the air. “You seriously don’t see what’s wrong, do you?”

“No.” You tilted your head, confused at what your girlfriend was talking about.

“Well, I’m not just going to tell you! Jesus. You should know. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Emma stood up in a huff, making a lot of noise while getting ready to leave.

“Okay – bye” Your attention was bought back to the phone when Tony sent you a cute video of Morgan crawling about, probably as a bribe to get you to buy celery. You stood, watching the video a few times before you shut off your phone, finally getting around to babyproofing your house.

~~~~~

Babyproofing a house was a lot more work than you originally thought. You had spent most the night picking sharp objects up from baby-height areas and making sure you hadn’t left any weapons about. All the guns taped under tables had to be relocated and you found enough change to set you up for retirement. You just hoped and prayed there were no small beads for Morgan to choke on. You didn’t even get around to putting soft corners on the edges of tables and counter tops, but you told yourself that it was survival of the fittest at that point. The whole endeavour had taken most the night which is how you found yourself with only an hour till Tony, Pepper and Morgan arrived.

There was a knock on the door, and you saw that you were 15 minutes late. Luckily your girlfriend had arrived half an hour before so you figured she could let them in. You shouted down, telling her to get the door as you finished putting on your socks.

“Hiya baby!” You cooed at Morgan babbling in Pepper’s arms, watching as her chubby hands reached for your hair, grabbing on with a crazy amount of strength. “Oh my god you’re strong. Pep, are you sure she’s Tony’s? I’m pretty sure she’s as strong as Thor.” You laughed, looking over at Tony. Your face dropped into careful neutrality as you saw the redhead standing behind him.

“Of course she’s mine doofus. We had multiple paternity tests.” Tony winked.

You didn’t know what to do. You weren’t ready. Your throat went dry as you asked if anyone wanted any drinks, your girlfriend waving them into the living room. You prepared the drinks, and you felt a presence behind you, wrapping their arms around your waist, their head resting on your back. You hated it. You felt suffocated. You took a breath and handed half the drinks to Emma, opting to grab a wine glass and fill it with the wine you had been saving for a special occasion. It might not have been a special occasion, but you needed something strong to get though the next few hours and you knew this would do the job.

You made your way back into the living room and Tony gestured to Emma “I don’t think we’ve met yet.”

“I’m Emma.”

“Tony. This is Pepper, Morgan and Natasha.” Your heart dropped at the mention of her name, realising that she wasn’t some cruel hallucination but was in fact standing in your living room.

“Sorry. I forgot to introduce you all.” You smiled and took another large swig from your glass.

“Hey how come you’re the only one with alcohol?”

“Because you’re a parent now.” You rolled your eyes at Tony, feeling Natasha stare holes into your face.

“So I need it even more!” Pepper hit Tony as he said that, causing Morgan to laugh.

“Don’t worry about Y/n getting drunk, she can handle her alcohol pretty well.”

“We know.” Natasha finally spoke. Her voice bought back floods of memories and you realised you missed her voice – just the tiniest amount. “Who exactly are you to Y/n?” To anyone else, the question was flippant, like asking about the weather but you, Tony and Pepper could all hear the carefully laced venom within her words and while the question sounded like it was aimed at your girlfriend, you could tell she was speaking to you.

“Where’s Bruce this fine day?” You shot back, not letting Emma speak.

“My question first.” Natasha finally turned her gaze to focus on you.

“Why are you here?” You felt Emma’s arm slither possessively around your waist. Perhaps if it had been another day, you would have appreciated it but right now, you felt like you were drowning. She held you too tight, you couldn’t move.

“Ah.” Natasha wore a smug look on her face and yet her eyes flashed with hurt. You hated that she had found out information you weren’t willing to give.

“Why are you here Agent Romanoff.” You wanted- no needed her to answer you. You needed to know why she came to you. Then you looked at Tony. “Why would you bring her here?” Your voice was level, Morgan was pulling at your leg to get you to pick her up. You used that as an excuse to escape your girlfriend’s grip.

“We need you back.”

“So you bring your baby to try and bribe me back?” You ran a hand through your hair, lightly bouncing Morgan. “That I can understand but why bring her?” You waved at Natasha, feeling both her and Emma’s eyes bore into you.

“She’s part of the team too and you both need to get on.” Pepper said.

“You were in on this too?” Your throat felt tight. You couldn’t breathe properly.

“I’m sorry but who exactly are you?” Emma asked. Natasha scoffed at her, folding her arms, and rolling her eyes.

Everything was a little too loud and muffled. It felt as if you were underwater. The sun was too bright, and it made everything a little too hard to look at. You could see your furniture, but it wouldn’t stay in your brain long enough for you to fully register it. You placed Morgan on the sofa and took a deep breath, closing your eyes to focus. When you opened them again you looked straight at Natasha.

“I am not going to play nice with you. You broke me and now that I’m moving on you suddenly decide to show up? No. I don’t believe it. Why can’t you just let me be happy? Leave me alone. Besides, I thought I was a ‘fun little distraction’.” You spat at Natasha. You were tired of being the bigger person. She had hurt you and you wanted to watch her bleed. It’s why you leant over and kissed Emma harshly, why you let out a slight moan so Natasha could hear. It didn’t matter that it was completely fake because even though you knew you should feel satisfaction at Natasha’s hurt face, the twinge of sadness upset you more than you would have liked.

Natasha knew the kiss was forced. She knew it was, but it didn’t stop the knife digging deeper into her heart. You had moved on and she had to respect that. She had said some awful things to you, and you really did deserve someone much better than her. You stormed out of the house, saying that you were going for a walk, leaving your girlfriend to entertain your guests.

~~~~~

It was dark by the time you got back. You saw Natasha on the sofa and ignored her as you walked straight to the guest bedroom. All you wanted to do was curl up and sleep this horrible day into the past but unfortunately for you, you had a girlfriend sitting on the bed.

“This bed isn’t big enough for-” Emma cut you off with a rough kiss. “Emma not now-”

“Yes now. I want to remind your ex what she’s missing.” Emma went back to kissing you and you wanted to cry. You didn’t like her possessiveness, didn’t like her jealousy. With Natasha that had been fun but with Emma, it made you feel afraid.

“Emma seriously.” You grabbed her wrist, not letting her reach into your underwear.

Emma huffed and stepped back. “What’s your problem?”

“I’m really tired. Can’t we just sleep?”

“It’s your ex, isn’t it? Why is she even here? I can’t believe you were going to just let her stay here and not tell me!”

“I didn’t know she was coming!” You were both stage whispering, conscious of the fact there was a baby that most likely didn’t sleep all that often.

“Then kick her out!”

You said nothing. You couldn’t just kick her out. That wouldn’t be fair.

“Oh my god you still love her. You still love her and she’s in love with someone else. Or she was. Ha.” Emma let out a bark of laughter. “That’s so fucking rich. You know what, crawl back to her but don’t come crying to me when she fucks you over again do you hear me?”

“Emma that’s not- I don’t love her anymore. I hate her. She ruined my life.”

“You truly hate her?” You nodded at her. “Supposedly, you can only truly hate someone if you loved them first. We’re done Y/n”

“Seriously?! What? Because I used to love Natasha? Because I don’t want to have sex with you? Grow up Emma. I’ve loved people before you and at this rate, I’ll love people after you too. I’m tired. I don’t have to have sex with you. You can’t make me.”

“I’m your girlfriend! You’re supposed to want to have sex with me!”

“Well not when I’ve had a long ass day!”

“Guys, I think you might wake Morgan.” You winced a little at the addition of Natasha. You knew this was going to end badly.

“This is my fucking house!” Emma said, not lowering her tone.

“Actually, it’s Y/n’s.” Natasha calmly stated. She really wasn’t going to rise to the bait.

Your girl- sorry- ex-girlfriend, fumed next to you. “You know what? Have her. She’s so screwed over from whatever you pulled that I don’t think she can love anyone ever again anyway.” Emma seethed, grabbing her shoes, and slamming the door on the way out. The sound of baby Morgan crying echoed through the house.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” You ran your hand over your face, the exhaustion of the whole day catching up with you.

“No, it’s not. I betrayed your trust over the one thing I knew you couldn’t tolerate. I knew how hurtful cheating is to you and I did it anyway. I know it’s not an excuse, but I guess I just felt like you deserved someone more than me. Someone better.”

You said nothing. You were so so tired. You missed her and it ached, but you couldn’t forget what she had done. “I can’t trust you anymore.”

“I know but please let me try again. Bruce wasn’t worth it. He only made me realise how much I love you.” Tears were filling up Natasha’s beautiful eyes and you could see just how tired she looked.

“I missed you.” You whispered out, not wanting to break whatever was being formed

“I missed you too. So so much.”

“I can’t forgive you. Not yet, but…you can have one more chance Natasha. That’s it. You get one chance at my forgiveness.”

“Okay!” Natasha sniffled slightly “I promise I won’t mess this up.”

“I’m serious Natasha. One chance. I don’t play baseball. There are no three strikes.”

Natasha gingerly reached up to cup your face. “I won’t waste this.”

“Good because I never really stopped loving you and I’d hate to be a simp.”

“I think it’s a little too late for that dove.” Natasha let out a watery laugh.

“Excuse me?” You let out a fake gasp and wiped some of the tears from her cheeks.

“It’s okay, I’ll tell you a secret.” Natasha ushered you to lean closer and you did, she tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and whispered, “I’ve been whipped for you for as long as I can remember.”

You were looking forward to all the ways Natasha was going to make it up to you and hopefully, you’d get to give Bruce a good punch too. You both knew it was going to be a long road ahead but you both felt a little more ready for what lies next.

#natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha x you #natasha romanov x reader #natasha x y/n #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanov #natasha x reader #Tony stark #natasha mcu #mcu imagine #natasha imagine #natasha romanoff imagines #natalia alianovna romanova #pepper potts

[itsclydebitches]

I kinda wonder, what could bakugou do (hori write bakugou to do) to make him less popular with the "anti" crowd. Like He was a horrid child no doubt and people who try to put blame on Deku or lessen the terrible shit bakugou did aren't great. But as we don't rly see it, we have to assume bakugous behaviour wasn't stopped, we only ever saw his mum "punishing" him when he was being rude after getting kiddnapped. Nothing will excuse what bakugou did, but he has stopped? He's overall a harsh person but he's not harrassing and bullying people anymore, specifically not deku, he's trying to attone for what he did to deku and has now apologised for it. His behaviour was never viewed as justified or good in the series, he's a scary figure in middle school, we're not meant to like his behaviour, so the series itself hasn't justified his actions.

As someone who relate to both bakugou and deku more than I'd like to admit (never told someone to jump tho, that's fucked lol) so I can 100% understand not liking or even hating bakugou but as someone who's not 15 anymore, looking back I also made a lot of really shitty decisions and like bakugou have tried to make up for it, and like deku I was 'friends' with people who hurt me.

Is there anything he can do for the "antis" to just dislike him rather that be "anti"?

(I'm very sorry if you've talked about this somewhere, you can just tell me to look for it if you have, I'll continue to look for your posts on the subject)

Hey there, anon! I think I’ve spoken about this only tangentially and/or in my main Bakugo meta, which is too big for anyone sane to read. So yeah, let’s chat here!

For me personally—and that’s all I can ever do: speak personally. I think it’s important to keep in mind that there is no single solution to please the “anti” crowd. Each fan will be looking for something slightly different in Bakugo’s character, much of which might contradict what a “stan” is currently enjoying. Given how charged a character he is, I'm not sure it's possible to get the entire fandom to like him—what I’m looking for hinges on having a different reading of the story than you seem to. Meaning, I think the series does justify his behavior. Not in any overt, super obvious way like having all the characters go, “Wow, Bakugo! I sure do love how you threaten people all the time. That’s super cool and heroic!” Things are rarely that straightforward. Rather, it’s in a more subtle, but consistent manner that paints a rather conclusive picture across hundreds of chapters.

Simply put, Bakugo is continually rewarded for his actions. Or, if not outright rewarded, his actions are ignored in a way that implies silent acceptance. Characters may not always like what he does... but they're willing to let it slide because Bakugo's heroism was always treated as a given, not something he had to earn and prove.

With the ever necessary disclaimer that I’m not fully caught up yet, here’s a list of some of the things that stood out to me in the first half of the series:

Bakugo’s bullying made him the most popular kid in school.

Bakugo’s bullying was ignored by/outright supported by the teachers.

Bakugo’s bullying did not hinder him from getting into U.A., one of the most prestigious hero schools around.

Despite acting horribly throughout his time at U.A. too, this behavior was continually ignored by the teachers and other authority figures around him.

Bakugo’s struggle to realize that other people aren’t “trash” doesn’t hurt his achievements in any way. He still gets top scores, still wins the tournament, etc.

Bakugo’s behavior gets him special attention from All Might, the greatest hero and Bakugo’s personal idol.

His behavior doesn’t make others dislike him in any manner that’s taken seriously. Everybody is still willing to not just put up with Bakugo, but—in time—start treating his behavior as a quirk (no pun intended lol) that they’re secretly fond of, rather than something he should legitimately be striving to change. Kirishima is the most overt example of this.

This is compounded by his behavior constantly being framed as humorous. Much like with Mineta’s perverted actions, characters might superficially go, “No, that’s bad!” but the story never demands any significant development because then we’d lose the “joke” of Bakugo screaming in rage at the slightest inconvenience, threatening to murder someone over nothing, constantly belittling everyone around him in a “funny” manner, etc. When fans talk about development of a manga character as archetypal and extreme as Bakugo, most don’t really want to see significant change to his base personality. Because then that would result in someone who doesn’t look like the “real” Bakugo: someone nicer, more even-tempered, more mature, etc. But for those of us who were never drawn to that personality in the first place, the continued acceptance of his rude, egotistical, and violent behavior is discomforting. The easiest comparison I can draw is between this and Bakugo’s mother slapping him. That slap is meant to be another “joke”—we see it constantly in shonen anime, something "humorous" you shouldn’t take too seriously because haha, it's just an overprotective mother—but many fans do take it seriously, using it as the basis for a whole “Bakugo was abused and this explains his behavior” reading. Well, I take the “joke” of Bakugo’s threats and insults seriously, especially in a story that starts with something like telling Izuku to jump off the roof. In the same way that many fans want others to treat Bakugo’s mother as a serious topic that has had a negative influence on his development, I want the series to take Bakugo’s everyday actions seriously as a negative influence on… well, everyone around him. But it doesn’t. His base personality is grudgingly adored.

The above two points are seen most overtly in Izuku, who never wavers in his respect for Bakugo despite how Bakugo treats him. Not just prior to U.A., but during their training too. Izuku, as the protagonist, is the emotional heart of this tale, so when he talks about how inspiring Bakugo is, it encourages the reader to see his behavior as inspiring too. Rather than, as said, something that needs to change. Izuku's continued friendship with Bakugo, his adoration of him, and his acceptance of the way he's treated has severely warped how the entire story sees Bakugo's actions. After all, if #pure Izuku can see the good in Bakugo, why can't everyone else? He must not be that bad after all.

I could get into detailed analyses of all the above—like how Bakugo was the one comforted after attacking Izuku outside the dorms at night and how the messed up relationship he has with Izuku is upheld as something to nurture; how the remedial courses he had to take were made to be rather silly, thereby undermining their supposed importance to his development; how Bakugo’s kidnapping had nothing to do with his flaws, but much of the fandom uses it as a way to dismiss any appropriate consequences because, “Hasn’t he suffered enough?” etc.—but in the interest of keeping this within a readable length, I’ll leave it at that. The point is that Bakugo has always been privileged when it comes to his behavior, resulting in others either outright praising it, ignoring it, or demanding that he change a miniscule bit, which always keeps him far below the standards of both his peers and the expectations of a hero. Everyone in 1-A must learn to be even better than the good people they already are... Bakugo needs to learn that other people aren't dirt at the bottom of his shoes. It's never been a particularly impressive development when pit against the rest of the class. All of which can make something like an apology feel pretty hollow. Yes, he’s apologized and I say with all seriousness that that’s great! But how does that apology stack up against 300+ chapters of content? As Bakugo’s words highlight, he's been a really awful person up "until now": he was consumed by Izuku being “miles ahead of [him],” he “looked down on [him]” because he didn’t have a quirk, he “didn’t want to recognize that,” he “hated that,” “grew distant,” “tried to beat you down,” “opposed you and tried to show my superiority over you,” and ends it all with, “it probably doesn’t mean anything telling you all this” before finally getting to the “I’m sorry.” This is basically a laundry list of how horrible a person Bakugo has been for the entire series, with an acknowledgement that this apology is coming really, really late. This is the moment where I could START to like Bakugo, depending on how he acts form here on out, but that pivotal moment arrived after six years of content and in the final arc of the story. It’s too late. Bakugo needed this kind of self-reflection and positive action 250+ chapters ago so he could (hopefully) grow into a better person across the story, not at the story's end. What we got instead is 322 chapters of him being a really horrible person, but the story going out of its way to excuse or even praise that behavior the majority of the time.

As a quick comparison to end on, I think what Bakugo needed was what Soo Jin got in True Beauty. You don’t need to have seen the drama to follow along. The tl;dr is that she has a lot of the core qualities of Bakugo: an all-consuming drive to win that was created due to abusive parents with high expectations, resulting in her bullying a peer to a pretty horrific extent. The difference between them is how the story frames their actions. When Soo Jin becomes the bully she loses everything. Rather than succeeding academically, her grades plummet, making it clear that this anxiety and self-doubt (things the fandom keeps insisting Bakugo is struggling with, but that rarely ever show up in the text) is actually impacting her day-to-day life. Her best friend drops her because she’s not going to support her choices. The boy she likes rejects her. She’s eventually forced to start over somewhere new - which importantly separates her from the girl she was bullying - and get some distance from her parents, resulting in the growth needed to become a healthier, happier, good person again. So when Soo Jin apologizes to the girl she hurt, it feels earned. The story continually recognized how horrific her actions were and put her into a place where she either had to change, or continue losing at everything else that was important to her. Bakugo? Bakugo doesn’t lose. Oh, he claims he does because he’s comparing himself to Izuku constantly, but that’s just him thinking in extremes. He still wins academically. Still wins many battles. Still wins at having friends. Still wins by maintaining the prestige of being a U.A. student. Still wins by getting All Might’s attention. Still wins by receiving Izuku’s respect and an agreement to maintain this rivalry that Bakugo is so obsessed with. Bakugo comes out well 99% of the time, he just thinks he's "lost" because he can't stand not being the absolute best.

For me, the story needed to have Bakugo face consequences for his behavior, not receive rewards and/or have others ignore it, and that revelation/apology needed to come way, way sooner. For me the issue is not a specific action that Horikoshi can have Bakugo do in the next chapter and them bam, I like him now. The problem is Bakugo’s entire concept, how he’s received by the entire cast, and his run across this entire series. "Entire" is the key word there. Which is why the “But he’s apologized. What more do you antis want?” reactions don’t sit well. What we wanted is a better written redemption arc across those 300+ chapters, not a single scene that’s meant to have us forget all the other problems inherent in the story. At this point it’s a far more complicated situation than, “Bakugo just needs to do X, Y, and Z and then we’re golden.” At the end of the day, Horikoshi failed to make me like him as a person and I’m pretty sure he isn’t going to change Bakugo enough to make him likable to me. Bakugo was never the sort of character I’d be inclined towards without a serious, nuanced redemption arc, but sadly, a core, crucial part of that redemption arc took six years to arrive. At this point there’s no way to change the problems in Bakugo’s writing for that huge chunk of the series and not enough time left in the series, it seems, to do the work we should have seen across the entire run. Honestly, idk if the Bakugo we'll get going forward is someone I can just dislike as opposed to being really uncomfortable with, but my money is on there being too little story left and too much investment in upholding Bakugo's base personality for that to happen. I could absolutely be proven wrong! But I think the problems are structural and needed to be better dealt with from page one, not hastily patched over in the final hour.

#BNHA #My Hero Academia #anti bakugo

[stevesnightmares]

Ranking 46 of the agents of SHIELD deaths

In honour of the deaths that we'll get in the series 7 finale I decided to rank some of the agents of shield deaths. It's not super accurate cause I didn't rewatch anything, but more or less it's how I feel.

I tried putting the read more but it doesn't work

46.

Antoine Triplett

You'd think I would put this really high but you'd be wrong. Was it really sad? Absolutely. But was it also unnecessary and pointless? Yes. He died for nothing. Absolutely NOTHING. I could talk about how pointless his death was for hours.

45.

Agent Davis (s06e10)

This was so shocking and I was so mad. I started to LOVE Davis SO MUCH, he was great and they just,,,, killed him??? Like that??? And again, as for Tripp, it was unnecessary. I understand killing characters but this one just felt like they killed him just to kill him, not because there was a reason.

44.

Daniel Whitehall (s02e10)

While I was so happy that he died I was also extremely mad, disappointed and underwhelmed. Because Coulson shooting him in the back wasn't only underwhelming but it also upset me because I wanted Cal to get his revenge, it wasn't fair.

43. 

Phil Coulson (s07e06)

I'm sorry but I just couldn't care less. I felt absolutely nothing at all. I knew they were just going to build him a new body. Sure, the speech in the background was really really good but the death itself left me completely unfazed.

42.

Wilfred Malick (s07e05)

Again, didn't really care about him. He was okay in episodes 1 and 2 but soon after I just stopped giving a shit about him. A bit higher than Coulson cause he's a Nazi and it's always nice to see them get what they reserve.

41.

Holden Radcliffe (s04e15)

This is one of his three deaths and it's actually the one I care the least about. All I could think about when AIDA killed him was how much of an idiot he was for telling her that on how obvious it was what she was going to do.

40. 

Izel (s06e13)

She's probably my least favorite villain that we ever got in aos and I just didn't care about her or her motives at all. Her singing was nice tho. When she died I was happy because it meant I didn't have to deal with her as a villain anymore. 

39.

Sarge (s06e13)

He was so interesting and cool at the beginning, and then he was interesting because of his relationship with may and daisy but when we got to the end I just didn't really care about him and was happy to see him. As for izel I didn't feel much about his death. The daisy and mack team up was nice tho.

38.

Sinara (s05e09)

She was a cool character but I didn't really have this big interest in her. She looked cool and her fight scenes were cool, but that's it. Same for her death, the fight with daisy was cool but other than that I didn't really feel much because of her death.

37.

Kasius (s05e10)

At the beginning I wasn't really sold on him but he grew as a villain and became a pretty cool villain. (Not my favorite tho). His fight with mack was cool but again, his death didn't really impact me emotionally.

36.

Gideon Malick (s03e17)

Again, another villain whos death I didn't really care about, however he's a bit higher cause I liked the way his vision came true in a way I wasn't expecting.

35.

Victoria Hand (s01e17)

I didn't necessarily care or like her the reason why it isn't lower is because it was an important part of the plot and for the whole Ward thing

34.

Gordon (s07e10)

Meh. It was sad but I also didn't really care too much about it.

33.

Jaco (s06e09)

A side character that I didn't necessarily love and whose death didn't really upset too much, however I was sad that he had died because he was such a good person who deserved better and I would've preferred if someone else had died.

32.

Gordon (s02e22)

That whole scene just kinds of really rocks. "Science biotch" + the fact that you don't know if it's Fitz or Gordon who got impaled. I don't know, it was cool.

31.

Glenn Talbot (s05e22)

I'm actually not happy with the direction Talbot's character took. The fight with Daisy was awesome but I wasn't sad to see him go because by that point they had just ruined his character for me. I'm sorry.

30. 

Ruby Hale (s05e18)

I didn't like her and I know and understand why people sympathised with her, I just couldn't. So the reason why this is so high is because of Elena and her emotions and reasons. Plus the tension in this scene was so high and it was really emotional.

29.

Jiaying (s07e10)

It was a bit unexpected but also so sad because daisy had to see her mother die again, and this time her mum wasn't trying to kill her but to protect her. However I didn't feel too much during that scene. 

28. 

Christian Ward (s02e08)

This is higher not because of Christian himself but more so because of Ward and everything that happened while he was killing him. It was really interesting for sure.

27.

AIDA (s04e22)

AIDA has SO MANY cool moments that I love and she's probably my favourite aos villain, and her death was okay, but it just left me like "oh okay they burned her and now she's gone". Ghost rider Coulson was brilliant, but her death itself just left me a bit underwhelmed I guess.

26.

Raina (s02e22)

I actually couldn't stand Raina and found her extremely annoying so I was really happy when she died, but it was a really cool scene: seeing Jiaying "betrayal" and daisy being there to witness it.

25.

Enoch (s05e10)

At the time I didn't really LOVE Enoch yet, I thought he was really cool and I was sad to see him sacrifice himself to save everyone, but I didn't really care that much. (If I researched it now it would be 100 time sadder)

24.

Eric Koenig (s01e19)

He was an okay character but i didn't necessarily love him however just the image of his dead body that we can't see with the blood streaming down the wall, Ward cleaning what he used to kill him etc it was all really daunting

23.

Andrew Garner (s03e15)

I don't know if it counts as a death but when Garner turns into Lash  permeability. His scene with May was just so emotional and sad.

22.

Grant Ward (s03e10)

Don't get me wrong, I loved Ward getting his chest crushed by Coulson, but then hive got his body and I know he's not Ward but I was still so annoyed that a part of ward was still there. If it wasn't for that this one would soooo much higher. I just remember being so annoyed that he was somewhat still there.

21.

John Garrett (s01e22)

Not one where Coulson shoots him which is so funny, but the part where Mike gets to beat the shit out of this mf who ruined his whole life and kidnapped his son.

20.

Agent 33 (s02e22)

It was such a cool scene. I don't know why it's so high, but just her being killed by the one person she trusts, him killing the person he's with thinking she's someone else. It's so fucked up and tragic and,,, fitting.

19.

Rosalind Price (s03e09)

I never liked her and never liked her with Coulson but her death scene is such a great scene. I don't know how to explain it but that scene is just so perfect imo. So yeah, this is high not because of the emotional impact but just because it was a beautiful scene.

18.

Melinda May (s06e13)

This one was such an all around cool death scene but also really really emotional. Daisy had already lost Coulson and was devastated by the idea of losing May too. However because she was saved 3 seconds after I literally cannot put it any higher.

17.

Holden Radcliffe LMD (s04e11)

Such a badass Fitz moment where he just takes that gun and shoots him in the head.

16.

Melinda May (s04e03)

I knew that May wasn't going to die and they would bring her back but that scene still manages to be extremely tense and just generally well done. Loved it so much.

15.

Mack's parents chrnicoms (s07e06)

This scene is so brutal. Not only has mack jut found that his real parents are dead but he also has to kill two chrnicoms that look and talk and have his parents memories.

14.

Elena Rodriguez (s05e10)

This one was another really emotional one and I thought it was great, however I can't put it higher because I knew that wasn't the current Elena and I knew they were going to fix it. Still a brilliant scene all around tho.

13.

Jiaying (s02e22)

An all around powerful scene. Jiaying trying to kill her own daughter and then Cal telling Daisy that he would do it so that she wouldn't have to deal with the guilt. Just wow. It was so sad.

12.

Jiaying

Just seeing her being experimented on, her organs being taken away, the fact that Cal found her body and had to sew her back together. It's so horrifying and sad.

11.

Mack and Mace LMD (s04e15)

I'm sorry but that whole fight scene between Daisy and them is so badass and coul and the way Mack's skull was torn apart by daisy was just brilliant.

10.

Holden Radcliffe (s04e22)

At this point I actually cared more about him and I was sad to see him go but more than that the scene was just so well done and I LOVED it.

09.

Melinda May/Phil Coulson LMD (s04e15)

Another brilliant scene but more than that it was so sad because in a way she was May, she had her memories and she felt like May and she had what she had tondo because she would sacrifice herself for Coulson, but that wasn't him.

8.

Jeffree Mace (s04e18)

I actually always liked him but by this point he had grown on me even more. But what I love about this death it's how fitting it is. He had gotten famous because of a lie but here he proved himself, he proved that he is that person and that he deserves the glory that he got.

7.

Robbie Reyes (s04e06)

His death scene is visually so so beautiful. Him flying in the air with the broken glass. Beautiful.

6.

Leo Fitz LMD (s04e15)

Jemma having to stab the person that she loves the most. The way in which he was still begging and acting like Fitz at the beginning and then turned impassive like a robot. It was such a hunting scene.

5.

Lincoln Campbell/Hive (s03e22)

I never really got attached to him but this scene was so sad because of Daisy, because of her pain and desperation. I cried my eyes out in this scene. "He's paying for all of our mistakes".

4.

Hope Mackenzie Framework (s04e22)

That whole scene is just heartbreaking. I don't know what else to say. It's just heartbreaking.

3.

Katya Belyakov (s02e17)

Bahrain is just,,,, again heartbreaking. This is so high because this is such an important moment for May and it's just so heartbreaking. 

2.

Enoch (s07e09)

The fact that this is the second time that he died to save the world and the team. However this time it was 100 times sadder because I didn't just think that he was cool but I actually loved him. Devastating. Cried a lot.

1.

Leo Fitz (s05e22)

I'm biased cause he's my favourite but I just cried my eyes out during his death. It didn't even matter that I knew that he was in season 6 because I was just so devastated.

#agents of shield #agents of s.h.i.e.l.d. #aos #Phil Coulson #melinda may #Lincoln Campbell #grant ward #leo fitz #jefree mace #holden Radcliffe #AIDA #glenn talbot #jiaying #ruby hale #raina #Enoch #elena Rodriguez #robbie reyes #long post

[fromzerotoeuphoria]

me watching Free!

a journaling of my thoughts & reactions while watching the anime Free!

✧ ✧ ✧

(reposted from old blog, July 22, 2020)

7/14/20, 4:21 AM

Okayyyy. So, I saw this anime on a list of anime similar to Haikyuu!! and then I also started seeing people referencing it in different comments/posts online regarding Haikyuu!! and other sports anime. I kinda wanna check it out, of course not going into it really comparing it to Haikyuu!! I’ll try not to…I’d want to give it a fair shot. I may watch the first ep, may not. I’m really tired and I have to go out tomorrow and my eyes are killing me (plus I still need to catch up with Ahiru No Sora and Full Metal Alchemist and a whole lot of other anime).

✧

7/14/20, 11:32PM

So last night I ended up watching eps 1-3 and honestly, I’m enjoying the anime so far. I haven’t really connected with any of the characters yet, but overall I’m enjoying myself (I think because I’m too hung up on my Karasuno boys right now, ah well). Also, a plus: the main girl isn’t annoying, lol. I actually like her a lot, which isn’t common for me and anime girls. But Gou/Kou? isn’t a trope-filled anime girl, she’s not overly shy or timid  or clumsy or any of those annoying traits that are supposed to somehow be “endearing”. She’s a normal, relatable girl (and dang she’s gorgeous too!)

Also, I really like how the antagonist Rin was a super good friend to the main gang in the past: he was the upbeat, positive kid and a good sport who charmed everyone and pushed Haru to swim in a relay with him when they were kids. But his personality has taken a HUGE turn, and at first it rubbed me the wrong way because the 180 didn’t make sense. Then it was explained a little (some trouble when he moved to Australia?) and it actually is understandable:

Rin’s dream is to be an Olympic swimmer, and Haru is just naturally super gifted at swimming. When Rin came for a visit from his special swimming school in Australia during middle school, it killed him that despite all that time devoted to training, he still couldn’t beat Haru. And that caused the rift between the two friend and caused Haru to quit competitive swimming because he thought he hurt Rin—it also  caused a change in Rin’s attitude. I like this backstory, it makes the dynamic between the protagonist and antagonist much more interesting.

Anyways, I actually want to watch a few more eps now (even tho I’m exhausted) as a kind of “feel good” wind down. Idk if I’m gonna get into this anime as much as I did Haikyuu, and maybe not even as much as I am into ANS or Fire Force, but we’ll see. The other sports anime have a large cast which gives you many options and opportunities to fall in love with characters, but Free! only has like 4 guys on their swim team…and one of them is a lil annoying :P So, we’ll see, it may just be a “wind down” anime that i don’t get emotionally /mentally invested in but still enjoy. Or i could become totally bored with it, or i could fall head over heels for these characters like I did with Haikyuu. Probs not the latter, if there was that possibility I think there’d be a lot more people in love with this anime and these characters than what I’ve seen so far on the internet. But again, we’ll see.

✧

7/15/20 6:10AM

Umm okay YEAH WOW THAT LAST EPISODE WAS BEAUTIFUL OMG. Yeah I know, I know, I haven’t been journaling but I just decided to keep watching episode after episode and I got SO sucked into the relationship between Rin and Haru (as well as Rin and Mako/Nagisa) and UGH I LOVE THEIR BROMANCE and ELEMENTARY SCHOOL RIN IS LITERALLY BEST BOY.

Like honestly, the drama of the fractured friendship between Rin and the others—but especially Haru—was one of the main things that drove me to keep watching ep after ep until i finally was like, “Eh, might a well just watch ’til ep 12.” I was feeling all kinds of emotions lol, like being MAJORLY PISSED at Rei in ep 11 for butting into the guys’ history (but it’s ok he’s forgiven after letting Rin swim in his place in ep 12) to completely losing my mind when Haru and Rin reconciled. Anyways, yeahhhh soooooo I care about these boys now XD Not as much as I do Karasuno or anything like that, but I do feel things for Rin x Haru primarily, and then Makoto. I’m interested in seeing how the next season goes now that Rin is friends with the boys again. ~ EDIT 12:14PM – Okay earlier I was very exhausted (I literally binged-watched freakin NINE episodes, omg) and wasn’t as coherent as usual, so I didn’t really capture all my thoughts and feelings. I’m still rather tired, but I did want to say that I TOTALLY had a Rin-Haru-ship moment in the last episode: the entire time I’ve been absolutely adoring Rin’s friendship with the boys in elementary school; he was the shining star in their friendship. I wanted that again for the guys because elementary-school Rin was so wonderful, and he was a perfect foil to Haru’s personality. I absolutely loved how quiet, aloof Haru stubbornly tried to be disinterested in Rin but couldn’t stay away because Rin was so dynamic and charismatic (I mean, when Haru found out Rin ran home after swim practice, Haru determinedly started doing the same). Rin drove Haru, though Haru didn’t realize until after the relay race. And in return, years later in high school when the two raced at Rin’s new school that night, it was Haru who unknowingly made Rin rediscover his love for swimming after he had quit all those years ago (omg I really do love this anime TT_TT).

So throughout the episodes there’s all this underlying care that Rin shows for not only Haru but also Makoto as well, and vice versa. It was intriguing and magnetic and made me totally invested in seeing these guys reconcile. So when Rin faltered in the 100m race because he was so distracted by the emotional turmoil he felt about not racing with Haru and the others in the relay race, I was SO FOR IT because I wanted to see him distressed about the other guys—that showed that he really cared so deeply about them that it threw off his game. And when Rin not only made last place but was visibly heaving and couldn’t pull himself out of the water, I was even more like “AHHHKLAJDKJASLKLSAD!!!” and then when Haru was so overcome with concern and immediately shot out of his seat to go find Rin without a word I WAS LIVINGGGG OMG and then on top of that when he heard Rin say that he had quit swimming in the past and should’ve stayed quit and Haru stood there in shock  and having war flashbacks to his and Rin’s falling out in middle school and Haru basically collapsed against a wall in devastation of losing Rin yet again and possibly forever EVERYONE I WAS SOARING AND LIVING AND UGH IT WAS JUST SHKLSKFSKSSKDKJF THAT WAS EVERYTHING!!!!!

And then Haru finally explicitly says that all he wanted was to swim with Rin again and ugh I’m just WOW that episode was EVERYTHING, like literally that episode alone bumped this anime up so many levels for me and now my investment is so much more piqued than it was before (and I was binging this thing). I mean, they hinted at Haru wanting to just swim with Rin again in an earlier episode when Rin beat Haru at freestyle and said, “Now I’ll never have to swim with you again” and Haru was visibly shaken up at those words. He literally told Makoto that his freakin world went black when Rin said that like…AKDJFKHAJSKJD??!?!?!

UGH I love Haru and Rin’s relationship so much 😩. If adult Rin is anything like elementary-school Rin still…I may have found my bias ;) I haven’t seen nice adult Rin yet so we’ll see in Season 2.

Anyways, yeah. SIGH. WOW. Episode 12 took me by surprise with the switch-up and I was LIVINGGGG for it. WOW. I am SO HAPPY it happened and that the four of them are friends again. I honestly couldn’t have imagined a better ending ^_^

#free! #me watching #anime journaling #free! live watch #me watching anime #me watching free! #free! iwatobi swim club

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 47

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44 || CHAPTER 45 || CHAPTER 46

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- note for this chapter: simple chapter, i know. i tried to make it more dramatic but i love them and i like when theyre happy lol. it gets worse in the next chapters tho. :X btw, sorry for this very bad chapter.

PLEASE, i would love to know what you think about Louis and Olivia’s relationship/friendship or what you want to happen or expect to happen to them. he’ll be a LOT more present in the next few chapters so i really need to know.

no request for this chapter! some planned for the next :)

Chapter 47 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

I kept looking at the time on my phone and my leg wouldn't stop shaking. It's only when Louis put his hand on one of my knees that I looked up but even his warm and compassionate smile couldn't stop stress from invading me.

"Don't worry, he'll be there soon."

I sighed but sent him a smile anyway as I looked around the living room. I had invited home a lot of Niall's friends for his birthday and had imagined a nice evening with cake, beer and games but it was already late and he wasn't home yet. He knew I had prepared that since he was very busy these days and I wanted to make sure he'd be there but even if he had promised, he was extremely late. In fact, the word 'late' didn't really apply anymore. I would have used the word 'absent' instead.

Everyone was having fun anyway, chatting and drinking, but I couldn't seem to let go and when the clock told me it was 2am, I knew it was over. My gaze moved on the pile of gifts waiting for him and I just closed my eyes, swallowing hard. His friends started to leave one by one, first with Julie and Liam, followed by Harry and his girlfriend and after half an hour, I watched Louis close the door behind Willie. As soon as it was only us two, I quickly broke into tears and Louis ran to me, catching me before I let myself fall completely on the living room floor.

"Hey, hey, it's okay darling." he whispered near my ear, helping me sit on the couch before I brought my legs up and close to my body. "You know it's because he's busy right?"

I moved away from him, suddenly a bit mad, and sent him a frown.

"I don't give a fuck!" I just let out, feeling my heart beat hard and fast against my rib cage. "I told him, I asked him a million times, and he promised, Louis! He promised!"

I thought he would get annoyed but instead, he moved closer and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against him. I started crying again, the sound of my sobs muffled by his sweatshirt. He didn't say a word and I was so thankful that he stayed that I just closed my eyes and tried to focus on the beating of his heart to calm down. It took a few minutes but it finally worked and I moved away from him, wiping my tears and placing my hair behind my ears while I sniffed.

"It's not the first time, you know." I pointed out, raising my eyebrows and looking down at my fingers playing with my mood ring. "He's been canceling plans for a few weeks now. I'm just so tired and I miss him. And this time he promised."

"I know darling, I know."

"The truth is, i've never felt so alone." I admitted, feeling my heart break more. "I mean don't take it personal, no offense, I know we hang out and text and shit, but everything is so different without Niall."

"None taken." he said in a very low tone. "I know exactly what you mean."

I looked up in his eyes and I could read how hurt he was. I knew how much he missed Eleanor and how he still loved her and I was not really sure why he didn't just call her and tell her that this breakup was a mistake.

"I know you do."

He sent me a sad smile and brought one of his hands to my cheek, running his thumb under my eye to catch the tears and wipe them off.

"I'm sure he'll have a good reason." he added, making me close my eyes and sigh.

It took an other hour until I heard the key in the lock. Louis and I had turned the lights off to watch a movie but we both fell asleep on it. The screen was blue for some odd reason and the sound of my boyfriend walking in woke me up. I sat up and rubbed my eyes with a frown. His lips curled slightly when our eyes met but I felt my heart shatter at his sight.

"Sorry, I didn't want to wake you up, thought you'd be in bed, it's over 3am."

My lips parted and I saw him turn his head, his eyes falling on the pile of gifts. I saw his traits change as he looked around the room noticing the glasses and the food and after a few seconds, he closed his eyes and sight low.

"Oh my god, you forgot." I pointed out as I got up.

I could feel myself getting mad but after a few seconds I realized that I was not angry. I was sad and disappointed.

"You fuckin' forgot." I repeated slightly louder.

"What? No..."

"Don't lie to me, Niall!" I cut him, frowning more. "I can read your facial expressions better than your own mother."

By then it was impossible for Louis to still be asleep but I didn't look back to confirm it. All I could do was stare at my boyfriend, my lips parted as I tried to keep the tears in again. After a while, he gave in and took his cap off, throwing it on the couch before passing his hand in his hair. I looked at him as the lights from cars outside illuminated his face, and beyond the anger or the sadness, I felt the need and love I had for him overpass everything else. I knew he was busy, and I did understand why, but at the same time, I couldn't help but feel like I was losing him slowly.

"I'm sorry Olivia, I really am."

"Everyone was here, we all took time for you Niall, and you weren't there. We didn't even cross your mind of all fucking night."

I wanted him to say it wasn't true, that he at least had thought about me, but instead, he groaned low and let both his arms fall on each side of his body.

"I said I was sorry I mean, what else do you want me to do?"

"That doesn't mean that I have to be fine with it and get over it immediately." I pointed out, making him close his eyes again.

"Look, we can talk about it tomorrow okay? I just want my bed right now."

I knew he was exhausted and so was I, and I knew he didn't want to have this conversation but I couldn't help it. I felt a hand on my lower back and turned around quickly only to see Louis sending me a look that seemed to tell me to relax and I sighed low.

"Yea i'm tired too, i'll leave you guys." he walked to Niall and sent him a smile. "Happy birthday, Neil."

They hugged and I crossed my arms on my chest, waiting until Louis was gone, but when Niall turned to me again, I knew the discussion was over.

"Come on, let's go to bed."

He walked past me and brushed his fingertips on my arm, giving me a small shiver. I didn't move at all and when he was almost in the hall, he turned to me and frowned.

"You comin'?" he asked again, raising his eyebrows.

Every time he touched me, I felt something electric cross my entire body. I didn't care if it was cheesy, it was still the truth. I thought the feelings Niall gave me when we were not dating were intense but now that we were together, it was even worse. I never really believed what I read in books about the chemistry two persons could have, or how special a connection with someone could be, but now that I was living it, I wondered how I could live if I ended up losing him. I just didn't want to think about it.

"Maybe I should sleep at my place for tonight."

"You're not serious." he just let out with a frown, shaking his head a bit. "It's officially been my birthday for a few hours, I don't want you to leave."

"Yea and everyone was ready to party for you on a monday night. It only missed you."

He sighed and brought his hand to his face, moving his thumb and forefinger over both his eyes, rubbing them. I didn't know if it was just tiredness or if it was annoyance but I guessed on a bit of both.

"Please, darling, please stay."

I knew it bothered him that I had kept my apartment even if I spend all my time with him. Almost all my clothes and stuff were in his house and I knew most of my drawers were empty at my place but it didn't matter. I couldn't get myself to get rid of my lease and be fully in his house. I also had a hard time to call it my house and I really had no idea why.

"Please." he repeated.

He blinked a few times but his eyes met mine and he took a step closer. I licked my lips, well aware that he wanted to make a comment about the fact that I still had my apartment. I knew he wouldn't though, and not only because he was tired. It was mostly because his priority was to make me stay the night, and not to start a new argument between us.

"I'm still mad." I let out.

"I know."

He reached his arm out, holding his palm up and I just stared at it for a few seconds. It was a lie, I was not mad, but I was hurt. He had canceled so many plans, texted for rain checks several times a week and even left me by myself at the restaurant or the movies a few times. I knew he was working on a few songs and could spend a lot of time recording until it was exactly what he wanted, but it scared me because I knew the worst was to come. He would have to promote his song and go to interviews. I didn't even want to think about when he'd be ready to get an album out and go on tour, it was too much stress and it was useless for now.

I reached for his hand and quickly but gently, his fingers wrapped around mine. He pulled me with him to our room and when I closed the door behind him, I felt his arms around my waist. I turned around and took a step back as he took one forward. I felt my back press against the door and tilted my head, the left corner of my lips raising up.

"I'm sorry, I really didn't want to make you sad."

I was happy he didn't try to justify himself and I nodded slowly. My eyes fluttered close when I saw him move closer and his lips pressed softly against mine.

"Thanks so much for staying." He whispered against my mouth.  "Can I hold you against me all night?"

                                                      ---

"Why did you bring me here, Niall?"

It was tuesday afternoon and I was still tired. It felt like I hadn't slept at all the night before. I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened and even if I felt like I should get over it, and wanted to get over it, I couldn't seem to.

"I just want to make you happy." he shrugged a shoulder as he pulled on my arm to enter the mall. "I remember you wanted a new game right? Mario something? And you mentioned a pair of earrings you thought were pretty, I remember. Also we can get take out from that thai restaurant you like, and I was thinking-"

I stopped walking and shook my head, cutting him before he could add anything. My fingers slid on his and my arm fell on my side.

"What are you trying to do, Niall?"

He walked closer to me and put his hands in his pockets.

"Are you trying to make me forgive you for last night?" he didn't answer and I knew I was right. "I don't want your money Niall. I don't want gifts and jewels and food. I want to spend time with you. I want you to keep your promises. You can't just buy forgiveness."

His face changed and he looked down.

"You want to make me happy?" I asked with an amused smile, raising my eyebrows.

His eyes met mine and he frowned, clearly unsure of what I had planned but I just grabbed his hand and brought him with me.

"Oh god." he whispered when he realized what I wanted to do, making me laugh even more.

I pulled on his arm to get him in the photo booth with me as he tried to get money from his pocket and I jumped slightly on my seat, pressing my lips together to hide my smile.

"You are a child." he let out, putting his change in the machine.

"Take that damn cap off!" I let out, grabbing it and taking it off his head and ignoring his comment just as the first click was heard.

We both turned to each other and started laughing as the second click happened and when he yelled "grimace!", I pulled my tongue out and crossed my eyes until the third picture was taken.

"Come here."

Gently but quickly, he cupped my face and moved closer. I felt his warm palms on my cheeks and closed my eyes when his lips reached mine. I knew the fourth picture was taken but I brought my hand on top of his and deepened the kiss.

"I did forget and i'm so sorry." he whispered against my mouth before kissing me deeply again. "I'm just so busy  I mean, my schedule is so hectic."

I sighed and pulled away, a bit annoyed that unlike the night before, he was trying to justify himself. Of course, i knew he was busy and I understood. I just felt neglected and even if I knew it was a bit selfish, I couldn't help it. I didn't answer him and just got out of the booth, taking the pictures who were already printed and looked at them. I smiled when I realized he was making an exaggerated surprised face on the first one and chuckled when I saw us laugh in the second one. The way he looked at me made my heart twist in my chest until I felt a presence behind me.

"The second one is nice." he pointed out as if he was reading my mind before pointing the last one, moving his arm over my shoulder. "I'm sorry i'm hiding almost all your face with my hands on this one."

My lips curled in a soft smile as my eyes were glued to the picture. I thought it made the picture even better. The way his hands were pressed on my face and how I could still feel the tip of his fingers behind my ears and on my neck made a shiver cross my back.

"Don't be. That's just how you kiss." I admitted, pressing my lips together. "I love it."

We remained a few seconds in silence, just staring at the pictures of us in my hands, and he finally took a step back and sighed.

"Okay, let's go eat."

I turned to him and raised my eyebrows but he just sent me a smile.

"I'm not doing that to be forgiven, i'm just starving." he shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets. "Besides, i'm not letting you pick the restaurant. I may even give you the bill."

I laughed and pushed on one of his shoulders gently, making him chuckle too.

"Fine, let's do that." I agreed. "I just got paid this morning. My dad was a bit late on my last pay."

"I was kiddin', there's no way i'm letting you pay anything."

I started laughing and shook my head before raising my eyebrows.

"We'll see who gets the bill first!"

                                                 ---

I thought things would get better but they didn't. I just lied in bed, my eyes wide open and all alone for the fifth night in a row. I knew he was getting prepared to put one of his songs out in a few days and I was aware of how excited he was. Niall was also a perfectionist and I knew he wouldn't come home until it was exactly what he had imagined but for some reason I didn't understand, I always felt nervous when he was not around.

I heard the front door open and it took less than a minute until he was undressed and laying in bed with me. I felt him turn around my way and sigh, probably thinking I was asleep. He moved one of his arms around my waist and pulled me closer with a groan, nuzzling on my nape, and I brought my hand over his slowly.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you up?"

"No, I wasn't asleep."

I felt him tense and he remained silent for a while until I heard his soft voice again.

"Why not?"

I didn't want to make him feel guilty by telling him that I felt stressed when he wasn't home. That I felt alone and lonely, that I felt sad and bad in general. Instead, I grabbed his fingers and squeezed them hard.

"Can you come home for lunch tomorrow?"

The room fell silent again and I held my breath until he talked.

"Dinner?" he negotiated. I could easily imagine his eyebrows raised and his puppy face. "I could do dinner."

"Be there at 6pm." I just replied, feeling his grip tighten around me and his lips leaving a small kiss on the back of my neck, making goosebumps appear.

"I promise on my life."

I knew he'd be there. Not only because he had disappointed me on his birthday but also because I had made sure he put 5 alarms on his phone. I left the sliding door half opened to hear him walk in and when he shouted "Hello?" and closed the door behind himself, I felt my lips curl. I remained sort-of hidden on the patio and glanced inside to see him frown as he read the paper I had left.

'It's a watergun fight. If I win you owe me a whole day with only me and your phone off. Good luck!'

I saw his lips curl and he chuckled low before looking up.

"What if I win?" he yelled loud enough to make sure I would hear since he had no idea where I was.

I watched him put the paper down and his hand reached for the neon green and flashy orange gun I had left for him. I moved out of his sight and leaned against the wall of the house.

"You won't win, Horan!"

He laughed. "But let's say I do. Then you'll spend a whole afternoon playing golf with me."

I grimaced painfully and leaned my head on the wall a bit too roughly, hurting me slightly.

"You're being unfair!" I yelled again. "Spending time with me is fun. Spending a whole afternoon hitting on tiny rubber balls is not!"

"You overestimate how entertaining you are." he let out, making me frown. I was pretty sure his voice sounded closer than it did before. "And you underestimate how incredible golf is."

"Okay then but if I win, I get to choose what we do and you can't complain."

"Deal."

I heard footsteps and my lips curled into a smirk. Either way, I was going to spend time with him and it's all I really cared about. I missed him more than I could explain and spending a few hours sleeping next to him every day was clearly not enough.

"How do we decide who wins?"

"By who's wetter." I explained, still smiling in an amused way.

"Then i'll win, you can't aim to save your life."

Without thinking, I turned around and moved in front of the sliding door, tilting my head with a smirk, my gun pointing at him. He was right in front of me, very close and aiming at me too, but I just bit my bottom lip.

"There's just one thing you should have asked yourself."

"What's that?" he frowned, suddenly suspicious at how confident I was.

"'Why is my gun so light?'"

His face changed in a fraction of second and when he tried to shoot at me, he realized I hadn't filled it with water. I didn't waste any time and took a shot. He closed his eyes and let out a curse word as I started laughing and ran down the stairs to get into the backyard. I hid away again, knowing he was filling his gun and when he appeared and walked down the stairs slowly, I held my breath.

"I hope you enjoyed that." he let out louder, holding his gun on his shoulder. "T'was the only shot at me you'll get today!"

I aimed at him again but my stream didn't reach him and he turned to me, sending me a smirk.

"Shit!" I let out before running away.

I kept looking back, trying to shoot him but he had better reflexes than me and I missed every time. On the other hand, he hit me many times and I could feel my hair and shirt completely wet, sticking to my back. I ran quick enough to hide again but this time, I stayed curled up next to the patio and waited for him to appear. His eyes roamed around the backyard and I stared at his back and down his pants to make sure he hadn't kept his phone on him. I breathed in and got up quickly, running to him. He turned around just in time to know exactly what I was doing but didn't have time to stop me. I pushed him slightly and watched his arms move in circles as he tried to get his balance back without success and finally fell in the pool.

I was a bit surprised by my own audacity and it's only when his head emerged from the water that I realized I was still holding my breath. He moved his hair out of his face and my heart skipped a beat at how hot he was. His gun was floating, drifting away from him slowly and my lips curled.

"I won." I let out with a shrug. "You're wetter than me. In fact, you're drenched."

"You cheated!" he let out. I could see his feet moving in the water to keep his head out but he remained in place. "Twice!"

"Fine!" I gave in, moving my arms up, capitulating. "We both won. So one day together without phones where I decide everything, and one afternoon playing golf."

His lips curled into a large smile and he nodded slowly.

"Deal."

I watched him get out of the pool and pull on his shirt so it doesn't stick and mold his chest anymore. He passed his hand in his hair and walked up to me, quickly wrapping his arms around me. I did the same and closed my eyes as he hugged me tight and after a while, I felt him lean his cheek against the top of my head.

"I know why you did that, you know." he admitted in a low tone. "I know we barely spend time together anymore. It'll change, I promise. I know i'm gonna have interviews and stuff after my song comes out but I thought maybe you could come with me?"

My smile grew but I kept my eyes closed, hugging him tighter and making him chuckle.

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes." I whispered, feeling suddenly lighter. "It's a yes."

#niall horan #niall horan fluff #niall horan smut #niall horan writing #niall horan story #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #my fanfics #amc #sorry for this chapter meh :X

[stinkyratshadowgod]

Crazy Storyline Apex Theory

(P.s: I’m reposting because Tumblr F*CKING ate my first post)

Okay in the trailer for the new event “Lost Treasures”, we see at the end that in Mila (in some way) spoke to Crypto through his drone, saying “Tae, it’s me. Be carefull! they’re watching you”. Naturally i was going to joke “Haha Mila is going to be the next Apex Legends next season lmao”. But then i stopped and thought more about it, and instead of making a joke, i decided to write a theory about why is that plausible and it’s going to be the next storyline (or maybe...this storyline)

Okay what do we know about Mila? Not much actually, she and Tae found a prediction algorithm that is directly related to the Apex Games (but we don’t know who made that and the real purpose), and then she saves it in a pen drive, leaves and is found “dead” next morning, with her brother being blamed as the killer

I know that this isn’t a lot to work with, but i think it’s enough to cook something. The name of my plate (aka theory) is “Apex is going to pull up a Winter Soldier and make Mila a brainwashed soldier (or expert Hacker) from Hammond”. You better enjoy it while it is still hot

1-Mila is still alive

Ok so why do i believe that? It’s because i believe that Mila is actually alive (even tho it’s a schrodinger cat paradox situation because shes alive and dead at the same at, and we will only know the real result when Respawn pulls her out of the “box”).

My evidences is that 1-The new trailer (lol) and 2-Shes actually pretty usefull: Shes a hacker, a good one, she was the one (with the help of Tae) to unlock the prediction programm, and she developed the system that unlock it (or at least had the knowledge that the system she found online would help unlock the algorithm). And because shes connected to the biggest hacker of the outlands, so perhaps they are going to use her to blackmail Crypto to stop going after the truth.

Respawn never explained how the brothers found the algorithm, but whatever the case is, if the sindicate would go out of their way to “eliminate” Mila and then go after her brother (but we know that this time they wanted for real kill Crypto) that must mean that the prediction algorithm must be really important, and we know why:

2-Season 4 (and the Override event)

Hammond had great interest in the Apex Games in the start of Season 4, and so they made a deal with the AG, and so Hammod brought us 1-Revenant (the best decision ever i love him but i better stop or else i will write a full essay on why i love Rev); 2-The evo shield (at least i headcannon that the evo shields are a Hammond creation in order to please the Legends), but in return they would build the planet harvester and do some promotion...it’s just me that thinks that a big company especialized in robotics (and titans) would only bring a harvester and do a propaganda to show that their hip and cool?

Even the harvester is a little weird, because: 1-The Apex Games takes ages after Titanfall 2 campaign (10 years i belive), and the war is over, so the need of building Titans wouldn’t be very necessary, yeah they can be used as heavy machinery in hazardous jobs, but the main use of the titans was military, and they already use MRVNS units to replace humans. I know that building robots and guns requires a lot of materials, but the harvester seems like a little bit of a overkill, also are we even sure that they are collecting materials for the robots? (which brings me to my next point)

2-What the heck is the planet harvester even harvesting?  By the looks of the big lazer, it looks like they are actually harvesting the core of the world edge’s planet (idk if it’s also sucking materials for robots and guns, but you never see pieces of scraps flying up with the lazer, and we don’t see a storage thing to store the minerals)

I believe the real reason that Hammond is so interested in the Apex Games is actually because of 2 mf’s: 1-Revenant (since he was killing all the Hammonds workers and those connected to the simulacrum project) and 2-Crypto, since hes the one going after their tail, and Hammond knows that Crypto has the actual powers to be a real problem to them, so they partner up with the Apex Games just to keep a closer eye to Tae Joon (and Revenant but who can blame them Rev is a real eye treat).

(Side point: While i was writting this theory, i remembered a critical point of the Override event...the rewards, the rewards you got when you gained points, and in the points reward’s menu, we see this:

At first we thought this was Rev doing, but when you think about, it doesn’t make a lot of sense since Revenant doesn’t give a crap about helping people, he just wants to kill (go you, you funky lil robot), and when you think more about it, hes couldn’t pull that off since hes not a computer specialist. The only character that could this is Crypto, but Tae A)Already knows that Hammond cannot be trusted or B)He coudn’t have predicted the partnership. My point is, Crypto also didn’t left the message (cuz it would be weird leaving a message about something that seems obivious to yourself). So the only one remaining is...Mila Mila is somewhere in the Outlands (maybe she escaped or she sneakily sended the message through the place she is being held) sending messages to Crypto.

2.5-The bunkers

You know whats weirder than The Planet Harvester? The underground holes (bunker? vaults? Its hard to use these words since they’re already taken) introduced in Season 5. In the trailer they looked like bunkers that you could open at any moment (like a trapdoor). In the release of season 5 the first thing i saw youtubers do is try to open the bunkers, they failed, and then they tried to use Loba (and they would usually fail and fall to their death, which was funny content). So i thought “Okay, maybe it’s going to be like Fortnite and with each week they are going to open one by one (and yes i play Fortnite casually, it’s actually a great and fun game), and nothing. So i ask “What is the purpose of those trapdoors?”

In the trailer of the new event, after Mila talked with Crypto through the Drone, it showed us a underground bunker opening, perhaps it’s Mila, or at least a secret base that Mila used to send Crypto the messages to warn him about Hammond. Whatever the case is, i strongly believe thats it’s going to be something related to Mila

3-The artifact and the “broken ghost”

The name “broken ghost” is actually a weird name for something that has something to with Loba, sure you can say “It actually refers to something that is going to be used against Revenant” or “It’s actually something that we are going to use to bring back Ash from the Titanfall 2 campaign” and while yes that can be the case (especially the Ash theory) i actually believe that what we’re building is a universal locator, a locator used to locate everything and everyone in the outlands. You may be asking “...okay...why?” And i tell you: “The legends don’t live together”

On what i mean by that: In a tweet sended by Tom Casiello, he told us that the legends don’t live in the dropship or in a big house like housemates  (even tho i decided that in my heart they are one big family of friends living together in a mansion, with each one of them having a room with their themes). And in the Chapter 4 of the storyline, it’s revealed that Bangalore and Lifeline live in diferent houses.

Where i am going with this is: Crypto is still living like a nomad, always running (and he even says in one of the elimination lines [“Sometimes you get tired of running, I understand, but you can't ever stop."], thus showing that even in the Apex games, hes running from the sindicate, the people who got his sister and now is after him, but as we can see, they still didn’t got him. Hammond could be building a robot (since the artifact [currently] looks like a skull, which spookes me a lil bit) that could pinpoint the exact location of Crypto and finally capture him.

Now for the most bonker part of this theory: They brainwashed Mila and turned her into a winter soldier

As i already said, Mila is actually pretty useful, not only because of her smarts, but because of the advantage that using someone that Crypto is closely familiar with could bring his downfall. So heres what i concluding: Mila gets brainwashed by Hammond in order to have someone to be a strong match against the best hacker of all the outlands and get rid of a big threat.

You may be asking “How?” and for that, i call my favorite boy:

4-Revenant (also yes this is a excuse to talk more about my main)

Rev doesn’t need a introduction, but heres one anyway: He was a hitman that at some point has died, so Hammond used his still somewhat salvageable brain to put it in a Simulacrum (in which i headcannon that at the same time they were also experimenting with some supernatural elements, but thats a theory for another day). after 200 years, during a hitjob he found out about who he really was and now here we are...do i need to say more?...really? Okay then: Hammond showed that they can brainwash simulacrums for an extensive period of time (200+ years i believe) in order to make them believe that they are actually human (even tho climbing a 15 store building, turning into a shadow and stabbing people with hands isn’t very...human). So in Rev backstory (and in the simulacrum lore) Hammond shows that they have the capacity to brainwash brains since the simulacrums are in a way cyborgs, being 99% robot and 1% human (that would be the brain btw). So using these techniques on a human would be very easy (i think?, i don’t know a lot of Simulacrums cuz they’re not real)

5-”THE broken ghost”

I want to touch upon is the name “The Broken Ghost”, i know that people believe that it’s actually Ash from Titanfall 2 (because spoilers she died), but don’t you think it’s weird that even 10 years after the main campaign, they couldn’t bring Ash back? I know that Simulacrums are diferent from robots, but couldn’t they just repaired Ash? And to answer myself: No. You see Simulacrums have an internal brain that is used to datastore information, but Rev is a special boy cuz hes handsome and his storage system is external, so in another words, when she died in the explosion caused by when a Titan is destroyed (or worse if you did an execution on her), her brain was destroyed, thus meaning that there is absolutely no way to bring her back. And yes, i just debunked the theories about how Ash is actually the broken ghost. Speaking of ghosts, that brings me on another point

6-Revenants and Ghosts

I wanna talk briefly about real life urban legends. First the Revenant myth is that a phisical deceased person who returns from the dead with an eternal rage for revenge, they are strong, smart and imortal, only leaving the world of the living when his thirst of revenge is sated (which fits very well for our baby boy Rev from Apex Legends)

And the Ghost is a spiritual deceased person who starts haunting the world of the living, sending chills down the spines of those who looks at them.

While yes their backstories are similar, their main diferences is that Revenants are corporial, and ghosts are spiritual, aka, Ghosts have the ability to dissapear and make people wonder if what they saw was real or not. Sounds familiar? If not, let me spell out for you: Mila. In the Crypto’s backstory, she suddenly dissapeared from Tae’s life, even in a surreal way since his life suddenly came crashing down overnight. And even better: If she was truly the broken ghost and got introduced in the Apex Games next season, that would really mess with Crypto’s brain, cuz his paranoia would make him wonder if his sister was back for real or not.

7-”Hold up”

-Said the handsome reader, scratching their brain (and yes i write fanfics)-”What does that mean for the future of Apex Legends and the storyline?”. I look at them, with the fire of knowledge burning through my eyes-“Let me tell you about the Winter Soldier movie from Marvel”

One key element from the Winter Soldier is that he was being brainwashed by Hidra (a Marvel version of the Nazis) and Bucky Barnes would transform into a emotionless killing machine, ready to kill the next target or those who got in his/Hidra’s way. But one thing that would turn him back into a normal human is his best friend Captain America, that through his pursue and persistence, by the end of the movies he saves Bucky from the brainwash trance and later movies he becomes Captain’s ally (and my OTP don’t @ me)

So if everything i talked about here is correct, heres what i think it’s going to happen: By the end of the storyline, it’s going to be revealed that Mila is alive, but she has been brainwashed by Hammond to kill Crypto. Even tho hes the main target and it would go against his better judgement, hes going to try save Mila from the brainwash trance, and not only that, hes going to use the help of Mirage. “Mirage?”-Asked the reader-”What the heck does Mirage have to do with an complicated story about family reunion, betrayl, saving someone from brainwash and fighting against a evil corporation?” and for that, i call Tom Casiello yet again (and a piece of Tae’s past):

8-Mirage, Casiello and a letter

In a early Season 5 tweet, Casiello confirmed that Mirage and Crypto’s story is far from done, and they would have many misadventures together, and while everybody (myself included) read it as Cryptage fuel, now i can confirm that Crypto is going to need Mirage’s help to make Mila remember who she was. You ask again ”But why Mirage?”, well, while i was researching Crypto’s page on the wiki, i found a peculiar letter that he sent for someone: “[Mystik -- I survived my first match, with only two broken ribs. Being as safe as I can, and keeping my distance. Unfortunately, the others are already asking about the Tower. The one Legend you love confronted me on the dropship. I thought he had evidence, but it turns out he’s just an idiot.There are two others here who are BIG guys. Like your son. Very intimidating. I’m sure one’s a sociopath, but I may have judged the other too soon. His name is Makoa Gibraltar, and he’s here to help Legends survive. I always chalked the Games up to neanderthals trying to prove something. Turns out some of them have a strong code of ethics. Ironically, the only neanderthal I’ve met trying to prove something… is me. Burn this letter as soon as you receive it. Will write when I can. Family forever. --TJP]” (https://apexlegends.gamepedia.com/Crypto)

Now you’re wondering “what the heck is that letter? Who is “Mystik” ”, and according to the wiki, Mystik is Crypto and Mila’s former caretakers at Ticacek Orphanage in Suotamo, aka the closest person they had to a parent. And in the letter, Crypto knows that Mirage is Mystik’s favorite legends, showing that him, Mila and their caretaker watched the Apex Games together

Thats where Mirage comes in: Crypto is going to use Mirage’s handsome and familiar face to remind Winter Soldier Mila the past, and then try to deactivate the brainwash (and headcannon, we are going to visit Angel City (the place where Mila and Tae used to live together) and collect parts of Crypto’s past and then bring it back to try make Mila remember who she was, but the FBI and Hammond is going to stop the legends)

Oh, and before you leave, ask yourself this: “How can a ghost get broken?”, now, instead of trying to find an answer, i’ll be kind enough to respond it to you (you’re welcome ;) ): Mila is the ghost that Hammond broke and put it together into Winter Soldier Mila, and then Crypto is going to have to break the ghost again to put back the right pieces

(I wanna thank everybody that somehow read everything, i do apologize if broke my english in some parts, it’s not my first language, also i would appreciate if yall could share my theory. It’s because i worked so hard on it, and it’s probably only going to receive like 10 likes and 3 reblogs. Also if you have a piece of information that could be considered important for my theory, please do let me know)

part 2 here

#apex legends #apex theory #tumblr please don't eat my post #i worked so hard on it #apex crypto #crypto #crypto apex legends #apex mirage #mirage #mirage apex legends #tae joon park #elliott witt #revenant #apex revenant #revenant apex legends #mila #apex mila #mila apex legends #ash #ash titanfall 2 #titanfall 2 #the broken ghost #apex story #edit #if tumblr eats my post again i give up

[tslasvegas]

Episode 4: “I'm sorry Daddy, I've been very naughty.” - Keegan

Dan and JAKE! A WORD IN MY OFFICE PLEASE! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS.

Wow! Today was A Day to say the least. I feel like boo boo the fool with how things went down today, but hopefully, I can recover from that now that there’s a new tribe. I’m excited to get to know new people, but sad to see my old alliances have to come to an end. I guess we’ll see what happens

Finally a swap and golly 5 OG Palazzo! I really hope this works in our favor. Kinda nervous for Joey and Stephanie tho because now they are in the minority of their tribe. I do hope they’ll find a way to survive till merge

LMFAO IM... watching the tribal council for the other tribe and I'm SORRY??? Who the fuck is Jake S he is the most condescending man I've ever seen in my entire life YIKES. Anyways this swap is nice.. I think I've got a good group, I really hope we win the next few immunities because I 1) really dont want to see Rachael on this tribe and 2) i want to try and rebuild my um. tattered relationships. I did the best I could in the challenge for tonight, I'll try to come back tomorrow a little more renewed cus I'm kinda wiped out from today's events. Now that my tribal council cherry has been popped for this Org its time to go crazy woop

So good not to check Luxor anymore! 

Well last tribal went fine, I got to see what was in the Prize Vault which is awesome; now I have a better idea of the twist. Big problem though- Our swap put me in the minority. I was running Luxor and had a core 4, now they have 5 OG Pink so they can pluck us off, one at a time. I went from drivers seat to getting driven over. We need to win the challenge, so I'm gonna go ham in winterbells and hope to pull it out.

We swapped! I think I made a confessional already, but honestly I don't remember. I gave Livingston some of my chips so he can go visit the vault after the immunity challenge. We'll see what is in there and for how much, and maybe snatch up some real nice items to help us out. I've also got Andrew on my side, which is great and he's apparently quite tight with Pat, which is fantastic. Mo is a pretty decent dude and I've been talking with Jake a lot today. Things are going alright. I just hope we can win this challenge. 

Phew, while the swap was not ideal. I was really liking my tribe, we were kind of quiet but individually everyone was great and we also kicked butt at challenges! Anyway, the swap with numbers wise not great, but I know Xavi from a previous game and we have a solid relationship, I hope he and John and Joey and myself can build a solid squad to make it to the merge. The challenge was rough tbh, I am not great at video games, but I think I did ok... Jaiden got like 20 trillion points on a game so really I have no idea how I did. Hoping for the best!

I am losing my mind in my personal life so I am sorry that I have been mia. I appreciate the patience from the hosts and my tribe. It makes me still want to play even though I've been kinda invisible. I'm aware of that. I'll fix it. I promise. Otherwise, its been pretty good as a tribe so far. Andrew, Pat, and NIk and i are all really close from other games, so we're good and Andrew and Pat and I are together, which is just really unfair if you ask me. I can't wait to start scheming!

Uhhhhhh.................................... anyways........ yall hear somethin? Oh I hear something. It's the sound of Joey literally blowing himself up to me hardcore!!!! The narcissism and arrogance really jumped out on this one. So Joey had the idea of calling tonight to go over some stuff and honestly out of the 2 hours we spent, I think about 45-60 mins of it was rather nice and I do feel that I enjoy his presence, but omg... his desire for control is so noticeable and its kinda gross. Joey and I debriefed on what went down on Bellagio and I totally understand why there was the difference in us discussing tribe dynamics - I had to give up all my info while he kinda kept things more reserved. I want to assume this is because of the fact that I went to tribal and he hasn't until now. I won't judge him for that. However, after this he's kinda like dictating the fact that an OG Bellagio needs to go home. Ben is the easier person to throw under the bus since he didn't even bother to do the challenge/let us know what's up. Not a big fan of that, but aight. Then Joey starts suggesting we vote out Kailyn...?? Uh... not on my watch. I have to make it up to Kailyn at least a little bit so even though she's probably got a loaded gun pointed at my head rn, I want to defuse the situation rather than start throwing her out there as a potential target. Even if it isn't coming from me, I'm not here for that. The information that Joey did give up to me relates to the chips in the game. I've never paid much attention to the chips, but I guess it takes 10 to get into the vault and Joey's got between 11 and 15 (he changed his answer on the subject SEVERAL times). He says there are three idols worth 40 chips each, then a super idol worth I think 50 or 60 (can't remember). On top of that, there are nullifiers, vote advantages, and a legacy advantage, too. He seems fixated on the legacy advantage and really wants the chips to get it. Like.. ok do you but we NEED the super idol?? Does he not realize that thing has more power than anything else in the vault combined..? ANYWAYS. What really started to turn me off about Joey is that there was this sudden expectation that I'd be giving him all of my chips thus far. I don't care about them to begin with but knowing what I know now, it doesn't make sense for me to give him my stash just to fuel his hunt for... a measly legacy advantage... I put myself in a compromising position. I told him that once a host gets back to me on my exact total, I'd be willing to trade him my chips for I guess an allyship going forward. I mean that. I want to work with Joey at least through this vote, but I can't guarantee that it'll go much further than that. He is a very risky person for my game right now because if he's coming off this strong to everybody, it's only going to hurt me by association to stick with him longer than a vote or two. However, I'm going to try and divert the attention and just be like, maybe we need to use my five as a bartering piece for new allies at this point. I want to try and build meaningful partnerships right now, especially since that was the only reason I wanted to make it to the merge.. Rebuilding is crucial as well. Kailyn and possibly Nik/Rachael are not going to be fond of me once we all have "the talk" about last tribal. I put myself in an even more compromising position with them, but I'll find my way out of that mess. I think........ As far as this tribe goes, I think between Joey's WILD imagination/constant over-analyzing and the lack of direction this tribe has taken so far.. I'm doing okay. Nobody is really standing out besides Joey and I guess myself in a way, so if I keep him around it MIGHT even shrink my own target little by little - unless people find out we're together then FUK. 

......five seconds later

In terms of my other relationships right now, I love John Coffey but this is old news, I've been in love with this man since like 2016 and it's fine - totally fine - just fangirling a bit rn since I get to spend more time with him!! woohoo. Xavier and Stephanie are straight up non-entities which makes me SO scared of them especially since Stephanie's won an ORG before... how can someone be so irrelevant yet still win something? Hmm... Makes me think that she's secretly a ninja, you never even see her around. Nik has grown more and more quiet as the days go along and I wonder what's goin' on with that. Maybe they've decided since Biden won the election that moving to New Zealand is a bad idea? Lmfao. I dunno. Nik stresses me the hell out because I have no idea what they're thinking at any point in time even in the off-chance that we are talking. I think I might just have a personality they don't mesh with because I noticed on call forever ago that none of my jokes were particularly landing but Nik had a lot to say and a LOT to joke about there... rip. If it's a personality conflict - go off, I guess. I'll try on a couple different hats w this person to try and see if I can get things to go better than they have been. Kailyn.. like I said before, pretty sure she's after me but I am really trying to sell it to her that I like her a lot, because I do. I literally compare her to my best friend irl because they have very similar attributes and I consider Kailyn kinda messy but fun and quirky like my BFF so I hope that Kailyn did truly appreciate me making that comparison. Ben's inability to do this challenge is going to be his undoing. I think the only acceptable move is to vote him off this time because I HAVE to prove to Kailyn that I can stay the course, and I also need to whittle down Bellagio numbers to prevent people from targeting us and having everything go to shit that way. Let Joey control this, please dear god. Don't let me get blood on my hands. Let Rachael integrate herself well on this tribe. Let someone else blow themselves up in the process. Just not me plz and thanks. There is no fear in my soul tonight. Joey might be a fucking crackhead but so am I. I'm breaking down walls that I didn't think existed but Joey basically told me tonight that he thought I was confrontational, rude, chaotic, and all these other things but was impressed at how calm, optimistic, and outgoing I was. Love to hear it. He might think he overestimated me but he was right about the initial impressions... too bad he won't be around long enough to see that side of me :~) 

FIRSTLY, DeNara was robbed. Okay so I already wrote this a while ago in my host chat about how the fact jake and dan are praying for my downfall because after the swap i am the only og bellagio on a tribe with 5 palazzo and 2 luxor. so after I slowly blinked at my screen for a bit I was like okay how do we survive this if I go to tribal. Because I’m under the impression tribes are gonna stick together especially going into merge but since Luxor is already down so many members it’s kinda Bellagio Vs. Palazzo. but then I was like okay wait I’m the only member of bellagio on this tribe after coming from a tribal so I’m the only one who can say what happened and I can create what narrative I want to help me get through the next couple rounds. Because if I was like oh blah blah I was in majority im so fucked then of course they’re gonna target me to get me out. But if I play the victim card and milk the fact that I voted in the minority acting like I hate my og tribe maybe they’ll think to use me as a pawn. To take down others moving forward. Listen if I have to be labeled a goat to move forward then BAA bitch.

.....five seconds later

Things are going good, because not only am no longer in danger this round but that means Rachael is going to the enemy tribe which if she came to our tribe that might’ve disrupted the narrative I had going of me being against og bellagio. Also DeNara should still be here, don’t think I didn’t clock the fact that Ben scored a 0. I also found out from Andrew that Rachael and Ben are apart of the same Tengaged group which explains why Rachael was so set on Ben staying but like, listen, if I end up in a game with someone I’m friends with, and they’re not active and helping the tribe. Good riddance.

What the. We lost yet again. I have lost everything since the start of the game. It's crazy. There are 4 from Bellagio, 2 Palazzo and 2 Luxor. 2+2 seems like an obvious plan, but it looks like it is falling apart already (read: Joey). Sucks to be across the world, so instead of scheming, I'll be sleeping.

Forgive me father, for I have sinned. is the same as I'm sorry Daddy, I've been very naughty. 

The swap did happen. Expected it. Glad we won this first challenge in this new tribe tho in worried for Stephanie and Joey

Vault Shenanigans - Holy shit I did not expect this to be as powerful as it is. I was preparing myself for some sort of payment based search system, but being able to straight up buy the items I want, but its also the same for other people. I had a misconception at how generous the wheel was so I'm probably behind some people with the amount of chips, but I could very well start scooping up some of the steal votes and just say "see ya" to the idols, although getting a super idol would be very wild, it still seems risky to hold out that long to get it, even though there's a great amount of power associated with it. The other issue with a super idol is that I think that its very likely that if I get into a position where I need to use it, that I lose a lot of respect with the jury if it does happen. The only benefit from actually having it would be that I no longer have to worry about someone else whipping it out, so it'd be less for me wanting it, but more for others not having it. As of now, I think my optimal play is to hold on to my chips until around ~40, and then buy both vote steals at once, OR go all out for the super if someone has already bought an idol by that point, because I would be operating under the assumption that the frontrunner is already out of the running. Tribe Swap Shenanigans - This is a hell of a tribe swap. 5-2-1 is always a great spot to be in, I am already good within the 5 that I have so I don't have to worry about anything there, it should be relatively smooth sailing as far as getting to the merge. Mo/Jake are alright so far, neither particularly speak too much. Kevin has not reached out at all, probably will try to talk to him tonight for general purposes, even if he seems like he'd be an easy one to get out first should we go to tribal the next time. But generally I really don't plan on losing so it's kind of a wash. I'll take the smooth sailing, easy path to merge. Premerge is never as relevant as merge is when it comes to FTC as long as you have something to show for yourself at the merge. I've got all game to make my presence known, and I plan on using the entirety of the game to do so.

I feel super anxious today because even though I had a great conversation and built a good connection to Joey, there hasn't been any talk about the vote quite yet. I mean obviously names have rolled out but nothing solid is out there still, I think I just need to let go of the urgency for a name to start being spread early on and just let things be. Stephanie and I have been chatting a bit here and there today so I feel more comfortable with her and hopefully she sees things from a similar perspective as everyone else - the Bellagio foursome needs to get broken up right now. As long as it's not my name of course!!!!! Plz vote Ben @everyone. Or Kailyn tbh save me a little bit of trouble now. Talking to Xavier is SO HARD LMAO. He doesn't immediately contribute information into a conversation and as bad as I wanna get rid of Ben, I almost..almost think going for Xavier is the smarter move, since Xavier doesn't seem too motivated to actually get to know ME and work with me. I'm selfish that way. Kailyn doesn't seem like she wants to do Ben which is a little frustrating but I totally get it, if Ben stays he's going to go after her hardcore but like she needs to actually pitch me an alternative lmfao. I don't wanna go bending over backwards just to appease her right now so if she doesn't gimme a name.. sorry sis but then I think it's gonna be Joey's call on this one :/

I am being very cautious now. The 4 of us (me, John, Joey and Steph) are going to vote together. Now Jaiden wants to vote Nik. And Kailyn wants to vote Ben. Why can't we just agree on one?! And it always has to go down to the wire. Stick together, people!

I think I am possibly leading the charge against Nik rn?? Joey told me he wanted Ben and then I told him I wanted Nik and now he wants Nik LOL take that Stephen 

Okay well I have no idea what's going to happen tonight, but I'm going into tribal not afraid of the vote I am probably going to have to make ... I think the best move is to just vote for Nik and be done with it, but it's going to cause a serious rift in a lot of my relationships if I do so. I've been super wishy-washy to a lot of people I think and right now it doesn't make sense to continuously do one thing when I mean another.. especially since there seems to be zero ground to move upon when it comes to getting the vote to turn from Nik to Ben. Nik doesn't even SEEM ACTIVE?? Why are we making this a bigger deal than it needs to be. Ben can't just walk around deciding what's going on and I think Kailyn would prefer to keep Nik around rather than Ben but it's like... so push for Ben to be the target hun! She's feeding into someone else's move no matter what she does, it's either Ben's agenda or John's agenda. Pick a side, but pick the side I'm on, too. Why don't we just vote for Kailyn tbh. lmao

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

my top 10 series of 2019~

aka i gush about shiz i watched this year for waaaaaay too long lol... 

i watched a lot of stuff this yr (well... it felt like a lot? there’s a lot more i wanted to watch but i’m terrible at time management lol...) so let’ssss explore that in a ~numbered list~ lol

(spoilers - there’s a lot of gay shit here lol... what can i say, twentybiteen really pulled thru lol)

10 - Stranger Things (series 3) 

i know some people didn’t like this series, but i legit thought it was really good lol... i felt it had gone back to the style of the 1st series a lil more? (whereas series 2 had felt a lil disappointing in a way??) & i loved all the new characters introduced (robin is a personal fav, obv), & the whole splitting off into the lil groups was really effective in not just feel like it’s always the same group together, and it also allowed for some interesting character moments!

visually, stranger things always looks amazing! but i thought the whole summer/july 4th vibes really made it especially stunning tbh... as most things on this list, i’ve only seen it once, so i would like to rewatch it at some point (actually wanna do a full stranger things marathon tbh i was trying to explain what had happened in the show to my friend who stopped watching it early in series 1 & it was so difficult to remember exactly what had happened in it lool... ) 

there were obv things about it that i wasn’t as big on, like the whole evil russian-invincible guy was v cliche and kinda silly, & some of the actions scenes were a bit awkward(?) feeling... but i’m a sucker for any 80′s style media so those things just reminded me of the goonies or some shit lol

9 - Ghosts 

actually the funniest & cutest series ever tbh!!! as someone who grew up with horrible histories with the original cast, this just made me immensely happy to see the whole team together again! the humour style is v similar to horrible histories too btw, though i feel they let themselves have a lil more ‘dark humour’ than in that (since this is more a general audience, whereas hh was definitely more aimed at kids tbh... tho they still won a comedy award for it lol! actual legends lol anyway...)

only downside is that it’s only 1 series atm & it’s pretty short... but i know there’s gonna be a new series at some point so i’m v excited for that!! i feel there’s sooooo many places they can go with the concept (i.e. exploring how/when the other characters died (like kitty!!! i need to know her story lol i love her!), maybe introducing another character who can see ghosts?? like a medium/psychic or something/etc ...) but legit, please watch this if u haven’t!!! 

8 - Good Omens

this pretty much took over the internet this year lbr lol & tbh i’d def say it was worthy of the praise!! ineffable husbands aside, the main story is super engaging and enjoyable, with some really awesome side characters (& some of my fav character designs in anything ever tbh!!) but definitely the biggest draw was the ‘6000 years mutual pining’ romance which they did so well lol & it was something that was genuinely so lovely to watch tbh!! i also really loved the ending message of the show! i really hope to rewatch this next year when i think it’s gonna be aired on british tv at last????

downsides would be that the plot can be a bit confusing at times? but maybe that’s just me being dumb lol... but i imagine it’s a lot easier to understand if u’ve read the book lol?? i don’t have a problem w/ aziraphale & crowley not being “explicitly” gay or whatnot (i know i’ve seen some people annoyed with this?), since the whole idea of their relationship is so much larger than just them bonking or whatevs lol? (in general i think more media should have less focus on kissing/intimacy as an indication of love/romance... which is something i’ve already talked about lol)

oh, and the title sequence is INCREDIBLE lol i seriously loved it so much!!

7 - Killing Eve (series 2)

finally finished this the other day & it was so good!!! i really love the dark comedic tone of the show tbh & i def feel there was more of it in the 2nd series then the first! i also liked the further development of villanelle & eve’s relationship, which is obv the highlight of the show tbh! there was also a nice lot of twists tbh, though i’d say it was a lil less intense than the 1st series? (overall i’d say i prefer the 1st series, but the 2nd was a fab continuation... btw i also watched the 1st series this yr lol)

negative points are that the plot wasn’t quite as interesting as the 1st series... i think cos the focus of the murders was taken off of villanelle that we lost some of that drama from the 1st? i thought the ghost was gonna be a more integral part but she was kinda weirdly pushed aside once we learnt her identity? & the creepy son dude just annoyed me lol (but i suppose that was the point lol...)... so like yh there were lil things that didn’t engage me as much as the first, but overall i still really enjoyed it lol

this is def fulfilling the hannibal-shaped hole in my heart tbh... (another series i finished this yr...)

6 - Dark Blue Kiss the series

look, it’s no surprise this is on my list lol... i was hella hyped for this series when it was announced last yr, even though my expectations were VERY LOW after kiss me again the series (which, lbr, is a massive mess lol... like it’s My Mess tho)... but for real, this series really exceeded all my expectations... & then some! like i’m legit shook at how good it was ngl! especially morksun’s storyline, which was by far my fav in the show (as much as i’m petekao trash lol...) also, i was surprised by how genuinely pretty this show is! esp in comparison to kma (like i know i keep going on about the goddamn bruise makeup but it is so ugly in kma, but they really did a great job in dbk tbh!)

ok so there’s a lot of flaws lol... like... a lot (i’m already complained a lot so i won’t bore u with that rn lol...) but for real, the thing that i love the most about this is the discussions of coming out/homophobia/general young people struggles/etc etc which is so refreshing to see in these series! like i love that despite the cheesy tropes, it still knows when to be serious & genuine...

5 - He Is Coming To Me

another thai series, i believe this has the same director as dbk? (don’t hold me to that tho...)... legit one of the best, if not the best, thai series i’ve ever seen tbh! so adorable, so well acted, so funny & heartwarming like... legit it’s so good!! i was already excited about it from the trailer, but the way it really delivered on the emotionality, whilst keeping it lighthearted, was truly wonderful tbh! the main actors did a brill job i gotta say, and all the side characters were amazing too (there really wasn’t a character i didn’t like i’d say tbh? i need to rewatch tbh... there’s a lot i’ve forgotten since this came out p early in the year lol)... also, visually it’s so pretty!! i swear the cinematography in these thai series just keeps getting better & better & it def improves the watching experience tbh!

a down point would be that the first ep is a bit slow/awkward to get in to... & i think it def could put someone off? but i’d say to stick w/ it since it just keeps getting better & better! i’d actually say there isn’t really anything else i didn’t like about it ngl? it’s just so good guys... u really need to watch it!

4 - Russian Doll 

probs the only series on this list that i actually actively went to rewatch straight away lol (didn’t do a full rewatch btw)... it was SO good for real! i already loved the premise lol (it’s basically groundhog day, which is already such a great film, but they explored those ideas even more in this which i loveeeed) the leads are fantastic, and the story is generally so interesting!  plus the editing & song choices are really brill tbh... 

my one complaint would probs be that the series loses a lil momentum at certain points (esp later in the series), but it still keeps ur interest, and the ending is really well done too! i know there’s gonna be a 2nd series, so i’m really hoping it’ll be able to live up to this one, and also explore more of the characters/concepts/etc! i’m def hyped for it tbh!  

i feel like this series is simultaneously underrated and also v well known lol?? like i know everyone sees that ‘thursday! what a concept’ meme but i feel like i didn’t see as many people talk about it as much as other series this yr??? 

(for my top 3, i’d say i love them all equally/for different reasons... so the order they’re in is changeable lol)

3 - Gentleman Jack

one of the greatest bbc series of the year, maybe even the decade lol! actually a masterpiece of cinematography, incredible acting, gorgeous costumes, beautiful depictions of love and intimacy, hilarious characterisation & just generally a wonderful series!! like i can’t praise it enough! it’s literally everything i could ever want from a series, and more!!!!!!! like everytime i think about it i just feel like ‘!!!!!’ constantly lol... like... what did we do to deserve such a series for real?? something that i esp loved was that i vividly remember not that long ago w/ people complaining about the bbc for having minor lgbtq characters in things, so to have a actual main lesbian couple series be on prime time bbc telly is kinda mind blowing lol... like.. i know we’ve got a long way to go, but it does make me immensely proud!! 

i have no complaints lol... other than - needed to be longer (i think we’re getting a 2nd series right???? i hope so tbh!!)

2 - The Untamed 

look, i don’t make 15 piece series’ for nothing lol... this show really got to me ngl... like i knew it was gonna be amazing from seeing tonnes of mutuals start watching it & praising it.. .but ohhhhhhhh boy i wasn’t reading for the angst and heartbreak and just generally how invested i’d be in all the characters lol... like genuinely there’s so much to praise about this show! it may not be as super ‘polished’ as some of the other shows on this list, but it really has so much heart and hard work and dedication put into it which really shows in the final  product!

there’s obv issues with it, but i feel like it’s kinda unnecessary to go over them lol? there’s so much more of this series that has brought me genuine joy, the biggest being the fact they were still able to depict a really beautiful, loving and /romantic/ relationship despite the strict censor is truly incredible lol!! like w/ good omens, it just shows what you can do to depict love/romance without having to over-sexualise something...

i feel like i’m saying less for these top 3, but it’s just cos i’ve already gush to high heavens about how much i love them lol... 

1 - HIStory 3 - Trapped

you - *pretends to be shocked that this is my number 1*

yeh... no surprises that this is in my top 3 lol... what can i say that i haven’t already screamed about for months??? this series truly surpassed any expectations i could have had for a HIStory series... the story line is complex & pretty well done (it’s not perfect... but nothing is so....), the characters are wonderful & also brilliantly acted! i think the thing that i love the most is that the director wanted to create a series that wasn’t just a cheesy gay series (don’t get me wrong, i loVE cheesy gay series’ lol... ) but also would have a more interesting, well developed & more ‘mature’ story line (i think esp in comparison to other HIStory series’ which are usually school/uni based)... it’s also one of the few lgbtq series i’ve seen that isn’t just about ‘first loves’, and doesn’t place a big emphasis on a sexuality/identity crisis... it’s just so unabashedly a mystery-romance drama, which is just so refreshing to see! & i genuinely hope we can see more series like this, where gay characters don’t need to ‘prove’ themselves in order to be in a series or to be in relationships (which it often feels like, where writers need to explain /why/ characters are gay...)...  

phew... that’s a lot of text lol, just like w/ the untamed, i feel like i’ve already talked about the negative points of the series (plot holes, awkward moments, weird editing/sound choices, bad tropey plots), but the positives of this series seriously make it worthwhile, and i’m just so so SO happy this show exists lol...

all 3 of these series have a special place in my heart of inspiring lots of my own exploration of art, as well as writing, which has been really crucial in me understanding what i wanna do with my life (i know that sounds kinda weird, but at the start of the year i really didn’t know what i wanted... and i wasn’t even sure what i was good at lol... so thru these shows i was able to discover a lot more about my own style of working & thru all of them i was able to meet some wonderful new people on here which has made 2019 actually one of my most enjoyable years on tumblr! 

this has been an...... interesting year lol... but definitely these shows made it just a lil bit better!!! 

Happy new year to anyone who actually read thru this & let’s hope 2020 brings us even more brill shows ~~~

#personal #favourite tv shows #2019 tv shows #long ass post lol... with pics (oooooh... fancy) #i rambled a lot here lol... #if u read thru (or just skim - or even if u just look at the pics lol) let me know which series u agree with? #or what ur fav series r? #there were other things i watched & didnt finish this yr which i enjoyed but decided to just stick to the series i finished lol... #not gonna tag any of the series cos i want y'all to click 'read more' to find out lol... #tho... if ur following my blog i feel it's p obvious what i've chosen lol.... #also that ~numbered list~ thing is in ref to jenny nicholson... cos i love her lol #i think this might b the first time i've done this/?? maybe?? #idk... #time is an illusion am i right ladies?

[coughmadicine]

Old enough

words: 2.4k words

warnings: angst, fluff, awkward tension, age gap(no minors here tho!!) unrequited love?

summary: reader returns to the mansion after many years and her past relationship with Colossus is pretty tense. Is there something still there?

a/n: i’ve been reading up on colossus’ relationship with kitty pryde in the comics and this is inspired by it. basically kitty and piotr meet when she's 13 and he's somewhere around 19 and she has a huge crush on him but he doesn't allow it; he's just a sweet flustered cornball trying to protect her.

Part 2 here

Ever since you had stepped foot in the mansion you’d taken an immediate liking to Colossus, the giant but friendly Russian. He was so sweet to you, probably because you were scared of your new abilities and your new home. You had come to live at Xavier’s school because your father had decided it was best after you’d accidentally injured him. You were only 15 at the time and the first person you met as you walked through the large double doors was him. Piotr. His friendliness toward you led to your slight crush on the steel man. He was 6 years your senior making him 21 when you’d first met. Of course your little crush was kept in secret. You wanted him as your support, your friend, and he saw you the same way. Of course when you got older things shifted a bit in your head. 

-7 years ago (age 16)- “Hiya Piotr how are ya doin’ today?” you said cheekily, wrapping your arms around his neck from behind and giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

You knew he would be upset with your actions, but you couldn’t help it. You had become bold in showing your feelings toward the mutant and knew it flustered him to no end.

He immediately grabbed your hands from his body holding onto them tightly for a moment too long before letting them go and folding his arms to his chest. He sighed, and you walked in front of him sitting at the table he was at. Concern etched your face. He had never acted this way toward your advances, granted you had never kissed him on the cheek, but you had held his hand and hugged him plenty of times.

“Y/N this is highly inappropriate. You cannot do this anymore. I must put stop to it rebenok” /child/

Your lips quivered as he said this. You would’ve never acted in such a way had you known this would be the outcome. You only wished to be around him and make him happy. A tear had slipped down your cheek as you waited for him to reprimand you more, or at least comfort you. But nothing happened. He sat there firmly. This angered you. In your previous shows of endearment, he would appear bashful and tell you ‘not now’, ‘please stop’. Never had he been so bold.

You wiped your few tears and stood from the chair pushing it in abruptly, causing it to slam against the table. The sound did nothing to startle him.

“Yeah well, you know what Colossus? You won’t have to worry about it for long. In a few years, I’m leaving and you’ll never have to worry about a ‘child’ like me bothering you again- you- you ass!”

You were heated and breathing heavy but he wouldn't even look at you. You knew your words were childish, but he just sat there. It infuuriated you to no end. You turned on your heel and walked out the door. You caught yourself on the frame and turned to him one last time.

“I liked it better when you called me dorogaya Colossus.” /darling/

You left the room and went to your bedroom to cry. Colossus sat in the chair, he hadn't moved since he had said those things to you. He hadn’t meant to be so brash but he wanted you to understand that no matter how much he wanted to, he just couldn’t.

“And I liked it better when you called Piotr,” he whispered to himself. -

Just as you had promised, you no longer became his problem. You stole yourself away from him, only speaking to him when necessary. This lasted for two years until the day you graduated from the school for gifted youngsters.

No one in the house dared to say anything about your fragmented relationship with Piotr, they were afraid of what Logan would do. As your stand-in big brother since the beginning, he had taken your side and was very upset at the way Colossus pushed you aside. He hadn’t known the true reason for your broken friendship, just that he wanted to protect you, so much so that his own friendship with Colossus was also strained.

You left the mansion shortly after your graduation to travel to other countries and help other mutants like yourself. Your going wasn’t dramatic. You just disappeared only telling Charles and Logan that you could no longer stay in the house.

-present (age 23)-

“I can’t believe I’m finally back,” you muttered to yourself as you approached the grand steps of the place you called home.

You figured a lot had changed since you left. Of course, you’d been keeping tabs on the place but you weren’t certain if the furniture was the same, if you still had your room, or even who was presently at the house.

You opened the door and entered into the mansion duffel bag in tow.

“Well hello beautiful you must be the sexy new Xman in town, besides myself. Wade. Wade Wilson at your service.”

You rolled your eyes, “Trainee-” you corrected and smiled offering your hand, “last I heard anyways. It’s a pleasure. I’m Y/N.”

“Ughhh Ellie got to you too huh well fuck.” “Language Wade,” a deep accented voice said from the other room. “Well fuck me.”

This time it was you that swore, not Wade. Colossus walked into the room about to castigate Wade, but he paused as his eyes met yours. You gulped audibly and dropped your gaze. “Wow, I’m sensing some real thick sex tension in the room. I would say I’ll leave but we all know I’d be lying and then I’d be upset because I couldn’t join so let’s just skip that and move straight to the three-“

He was shut up by Colossus’ hand covering Wade’s mouth.

“Not now Wade.”

He quickly removed his hand and wiped it on his pants.

“Wade what did I saw about licking,” Colossus said, clearly exasperated. “You shouldn’t put that lovely chrome hand on my mouth then big daddy.”

You couldn’t help but giggle. Both Wade and Piotr’s attention shifted to you and you suddenly felt embarrassed.

“Ms. Y/N it is a pleasure to see you again,” Colossus said.

You nodded to him and smiled but couldn’t shake the weird tension in the room after what Wade had said.

“I’m just gonna head up to my room,” you muttered. “Wait- um Y/N your room is now occupied by student. We’ve had full class past few years. I can find you a place if you give me one moment.”

You nodded. You couldn't deicide if you were upset that your room had been filled. A part of you always thought it would stay the exact way you left it.

Colossus went into the other room. You could hear him shuffling around, you assumed he was cleaning whatever non-existent mess was in there. He reappeared moments later and motioned for you to follow him up the stairs. He waited for you to catch up with him, shortening his strides to try and match yours. He was silent the whole way to the spare room. There were so many things he wanted to say to you but had no idea how to start.

He started with the best thing that he could think of.

“Hello Y/N,” he said clearly.

You had missed your name coming from his Russian tongue, but you didn’t let it show.

“I thought we already did introductions downstairs big guy,” you laughed trying to ease the tension.

He looked down at you and smiled. You looked so much older now, you were no longer just a young woman to him. You met his eyes and couldn't help but smile back.

“I’m sorry,” you murmured, looking away from him and dropping your bag on the floor.

“Why dorog-Y/N you have nothing to be sorry for.” “I do though, I want to apologize for everything I did. I was so childish- god I ignored you for two years. I’m so sorry that my schoolgirl crush got in the way of our friendship. You were just being nice to me and I was too ignorant to see that. I put you in such a tough spot. I was foolish to think anything like that would ever work between us,” you were rambling now, but you just had to say your peace.

Your last statement shocked him, but his face never showed it. You had grown away from your crush on him, he thought.

“It is ok Y/N. That is all in past,” he sighed.

You smiled at him, thankful that he understood.

“I will let you get settled, dinner is at 7 if you wish to join.”

You nodded and thanked him. After you had finished packing you decided to go down and join whoever was still in the house for dinner. You recognized a few faces walking through the halls, mutants who had decided to teach at the school, but most were young kids you had never seen before. Wade and a girl you had met previously today, Ellie and her girlfriend were at the table. Colossus was grabbing plates from a cabinet.

“What did you do to chrome dome for him to order pizza?” Wade said incredulously, “big guys a health nut he never lets us eat out.”

You grinned.

“Yeah well when I knew him, he would eat a whole pizza himself and share the second one with me,” you laughed reminiscing at the wonderful late nights the two of you spent laying on the floor watching TV and eating pizza. You frowned after, of course, you had to ruin those short-lived times by acting so bratty and shutting him out of your life.

Dinner went off without a hitch. You were a few drinks in and feeling a slight buzz. You could tell something was wrong with Colossus, but Wade caught you to it and shouted at Colossus to stop being a party pooper.

“I’m not. I’m just tired,” he assured.

“It’s because I’m here,” you murmured.

You started giggling too, your slightly drunk behavior getting the best of you.

“I fucked our friendship up because I tried to kiss him. Can you believe it?” “Y/N perhaps you are too drunk, I can take you to bed.” “Oh my god straight to bone town after one night of being reunited. Rasputin, I had no idea you were such a ladies man!”

You scoffed, “yeah right Wade! The Man of Steel would never touch me he still thinks of me as his 15-year-old kid sister”

“Bozhe,” he murmurs under his breath and stands up. /my god/

“Watch your language mister! I tried to learn Russian for you ya know. Can’t believe you kiss your mother with those lips,” you shouted, pointing your beer at him.

“That is enough Y/N,” he said sternly. “Wow this sounds a lot like the last conversation I had with you in the kitchen. The one where you made me think I’d violated you or something,” you shouted at him.

By now the conversation had sobered you up immensley. 

“This is not conversation to be held among comrades,” he said calmly to you. “It’s because you’re embarrassed by me!”

This time you knew you had overstepped. You immediately apologized and said you were turning in for the night. You left the kitchen, ignoring the big clunking steps you heard after you.

Before you could make it to your room Colossus grabbed your arm gently.

“Is that what you think? That I’m embarrassed by you?” “Why else would castigate me like a petulant child?” “Y/N I would never be embarrassed by you, I was angered at myself for feeling certain ways about you. You were-“ “A child?!” you interrupted him.

“No dorogaya, young. I didn’t want to be bad influence on you. Professor Xavier would never let me be around you if he knew that I liked you in such way,” he continued, “I’m so sorry I hurt you, but it hurt me too very much. I regret those words every day It felt like I lost you forever.”

You were shocked at his confession, you knew that he had liked you but after that morning in the kitchen you had thought all those times he blushed and told you to stop were because he was embarrassed of you.

“I never thought of you as child you were brave, strong young woman,” he paused waiting for your response.

“Oh Piotr I’m so sorry,” you murmured.

You stepped towards him and into his arms. He wrapped them around you still looking down at you.

“Please don’t cry dorogaya, it hurts my heart.”

You laughed and slapped his chest, the sound reverberated. You wiped your tears.

“You’re such a sap moya lyubov’,” you smiled. /my love/

“May I kiss you?”

You gasped your eyes admiring his strong shoulders.

“I don’t know am I old enough?” “Yes,” he finished for you.

Your lips connected and it felt like fireworks. Your skin seared where it met his. The mixture of cool metal to your warm skin made to want more, so much more. He moved his lips from yours moments later and kissed your forehead. You sighed. You were going to remark on how sickeningly sweet he was but held your tongue.

“You know a lot of things have changed since I saw you,” you whispered, reaching onto your tiptoes to try and whisper seductively in his ear.

“You are still drunk dorogaya,” he reminded you. “I’m not. I promise,” you stated grabbing his large hand and moving it to your hip. The teasing boldness you had as a teen had found you again and you grinned.

“ty tak krasiva,” he huffed gripping your waist with both hands now. /you are so beautiful/

“But we cannot do that tonight. You must sleep. What kind of man would I be if I take you a day after seeing you again?” “A man that wishes to fulfill his darlings deepest desires,” you moaned. “I might have fallen for your tricks at 20 volshebnitsa, but I am man now.” /enchantress/

“I’m no witch but I’ll have my way with you. In the meantime old man, will you sleep with me at least?”

“Da,” he smiled.

#piotr rasputin #colossus #piotr rasputin x reader #colossus x reader #colossus fluff #angst #deadpool #deadpool 2 #colossus imagine

[themockingcrows]

Whisper Just For Me Ch. 15: Reunion

This chapter is SFW! This chapter is also available mirrored on my AO3.

Just having someone back in your presence doesn't always mean they're really there, especially when that someone is a ghost. How much of Dave is with you, and how much of him was affected by your time apart? Is it really a reunion when only one person is aware of the reuniting?

    Your dreams were empty. You were holding out hope that Dave would visit you, would talk with you, would get rid of the lingering worry that clung to your mind like a sticky veil of spiderwebs. Instead you got repeats of different scenarios you've had in the past, strange distortions of shadow and light, a strange sequence of trying to buy a set of pants from a food stall only to find they didn't have your size, and your father trying to pass off one of his finest hats to you after it had been coated in peanut butter, blending the symbolic niceties of adulthood and achievement with a death threat. If you believed in omens it probably would have meant a lot. Good thing you don't believe in it without a gut feeling and the only feelings it gave you were confusion and a stomach ache.

    You woke with your hand instinctively curled around the pendant as if trying to keep it warm, despite the material being plenty warm in your hand already, a reminder of who dwelled within it. Good, he was making some reactions now aside from just a loose sensation of presence.

    “...Dave?” you said quietly, a sleepy murmur. “Dave, can you hear me in there?”

    Silence.

    “...Dave, I'm so sorry for what happened. If I was even remotely aware anything like that was going to happen I'd have done everything different somehow. I'm just glad we got there in time.”

    More silence, but the warmth in your hand didn't diminish. Dave was definitely still in there. Maybe he was sleeping in too.

    Your phone let out a few familiar tones to signal you had messages coming in, rapid fire texts that had you wondering just how many people were texting you at once till you could get at it and turn the screen on with a press of the button along the side. ...Huh. Okay, five texts in a row from a number you were sleepy enough to not recognize as Rose's for a moment.. No, six, your phone chimed again in your palm to try making you scroll down. Okay, maybe you wouldn't have recognized it was from Rose's number right away anyway, this was definitely not her normal way of texting.

    TT: hey when you get this cn u like txt me back asap

    TT: *can

    TT: its roxy rose said i should hit u up again to like

    TT: check in and shit about what happened

    TT: srry for treating u like u two were gonna rob me blind but 2 be fair u were acting creepy

    TT: is that ghost thing okay btw or is that not a gr8 thing to ask

    Another few chimes as you were trying to formulate how to even reply, which left you marveling at the speed with which she could text. Was he okay? He still wasn't talking or glowing or.. much of anything beyond keeping the pendant warm. He wouldn't do that if he was sick right? ...Wait, do ghosts even get sick? What was the right word for this. Exhaustion? Strained? It couldn't last forever, he'd be back to normal soon surely.

    TT: srry not ghost thing i guess i mean dave

    TT: rose filled me in a bit but it still dsnt make much sense

    TT: guess it makes more sense than me goin crzy tho

    TT: *crazy lol

    Yeah, no shit. Even this deep in everything there were times you worried you were just actually crazy and none of this unbelievable mess was real at all. Rubbing sleep from your eyes, you pushed yourself to sit upright in bed, put on your glasses, and started to slowly type out a reply with your pointer finger.

    EB: hey, yeah, i'm here. sorry, i just woke up.

    TT: o shit my bad lol

    EB: no, it's no problem. thanks for getting in contact though. and sorry for uh.

    EB: you know.

    EB: barging into your apartment and alerting you to the whole concept of ghosts i guess?

    TT: like i said dont worry abt it

    TT: im just glad everythins back to normal in here

    TT: I hadnt realized just how weird the place felt till now

    TT: muties finally able to chillax again

    EB: i'm still kind of amazed you believed us at all, but if you'd been feeling things for a while then i guess that would all just kind of line up, huh.

    TT: just another day in the bullshit mines

    TT: rose talks about stuff like this a lot but i kinda never rlly believed her

    TT: hindsight 2020 foot does not taste gr8

    You grinned at your phone and let the screen go dim once more before stuffing it into the pocket of some sweatpants you then wrangled on. Might as well not delay the inevitable and just get up. It took a few more tries than usual to get up, fatigue weighing heavy in your bones, but get up you eventually did to shuffle to the kitchen. A banana wound up in your other pocket, keeping your hands free for motoring around to thump down on the sofa. Jade perked up soon as you went down, shuffling her legs to get your weight off her feet and poking a head full of sleep wild hair out from underneath the throw.

    “...S'it morning..?”

    “Yeah. Or later, I didn't look at the time,” you admit, pulling your phone out of your pocket to peek as the banana was yanked out in a dual wielding motion. You bit the standing end of the banana and tipped it sideways till the peel cracked, making it easier to open one handed. Wisely, you waited till you had a bit mouth full of fruit to try talking more. “Closer to noon it look like. Oh, and Roxy wrote.”

    “How'd she get your number?” Jade asked. She crawled to the floor to get at her purse, rummaging around for a brush to start taming the mass down enough to apply some strategically placed hair ties.

    “Oh, no, she was writing from Rose's phone. I guess they met up today in one way or another? She said everything feels better at her place so.. I guess that at least shows Dave didn't dislodge somehow or anything.”

    “Has he.. y'know. Said anything?”

    You frowned and took another bite of banana, then another till it was gone, delaying as if the extra few seconds stalled would somehow give Dave enough incentive to interact again. No such luck.

    “No. Nothing.. Oh! But the pendant's warm! He's definitely in there, just..”

    Just what. Just tired? Just ghost broken? Did ghosts get sick? You sank down further in the sofa and let your leg slide further along the floor with a heavy sigh. This sucked. This really, really sucked.

    “...I wish I knew enough about what was happening to fix it.”

    “We could always ask Rose if you want. She seems to have good ideas on this stuff, maybe she'd understand what was happening,” said Jade, opening up a compact mirror to check and see if the low segmented pigtails were a good look that day. Verdict was a resounding yes from the way she snapped it shut with a happy grin and dropped the supplies back into the bag. “Or we can just wait and see what he does next on his own.”

    “You make me sound like a helicopter parent when you put things like that, Jade.”

    “Helicopter boyfriend.”

    “Helicopter whatever! Same thing!”

    “I mean-”

    “You know that's not what I meant,” you frowned. “I just want to do what's best by him. I'm kind of responsible for him now, and I already fucked that up in a big way. Getting him back's like a second chance, but I can't do the second chance right from the very beginning if something's wrong.”

    “Then call Rose,” shrugged Jade as she got up from the floor and sauntered off to pilfer breakfast from your fridge.

    “Yeah but what if that just makes it worse somehow, what if we're supposed to wait for something to happen!”

    “John either call her, let me call her, or shut up and relax! Holy shit, it's not the world ending, it's either getting more potential information from a verified source of accurate information, or making our own estimations based on study and other information sources. It's as if you've never heard of a reasonable hypothesis before,” she grumbled, then disappeared around the corner.

    You frowned the way she went.

    “You could've at least taken my banana peel with you!”

    “Fuck your banana peel, you've got a leg and two arms that aren't broken!”

    You immediately stuck your tongue out in her direction, already knowing she couldn't see it, but hoping she could feel your rankle even through the wall. Heaving another sigh, reveling in the dramatic for a moment, you turn your attention to your phone once more. It hadn't pinged again to signal an incoming flurry from Roxy, so you assumed it'd be safe to call Rose now. Jade was right. She'd probably know what to do.

    The phone rang several times before you heard the familiar voice on the other line and smiled.

    “Hello?”

    “Rose?”

    “Obviously.”

    “Yeah. So. ..Uh.” Come on, spit it out, what if this was time sensitive or something? “Dave's home now... I think. But he's not talking or anything. No dream visits, no lights, no interacting with anything. The most he's done is warm the pendant up,” you start to explain. “I'm worried he's. I don't know. Sick? Exhausted? What happens now, how can I help fix him? I finally got him home but I can't even talk to him.”

    Everything had started as a trickle before finishing in a rush of stress balled up into English and launched out of your mouth like cannon fire. You held your breath, listening closely for a response.

    “Well.”

    ….Well that wasn't what you were hoping for. It takes effort to remain quiet and wait instead of pointing that out and being sarcastic. Stress sarcasm didn't tend to do the best things.

    “I think he likely just needs rest. Roxy already caught me up to everything that happened prior to and just after him leaving. It's possible he just expended way too much energy while apart from you and needs to rest now. Perhaps even sap energy from his surroundings.”

    You frowned and furrowed your brow in thought. It had felt harder to get out of bed today, but was that Dave already sapping from you, or was it just the reality of getting around on crutches for too long at a stretch?

    “Is there anything I can do to help though? I mean. I guess if he's going to be doing that draining thing while this tired, is there anything I can do to make it easier for him to do it?”

    You heard Rose sigh and the creak of whatever seat she was in.

    “Hm. Well, not exactly anything you can DO. Not strictly speaking at least. You can make yourself more open to him, perhaps. Leave yourself like an open door, let him get at you easier. Keep him in range obviously. Make sure you eat and sleep often enough, perhaps rest up and take things a little easier. Be the reserve battery.”

    You wet your lips and nodded, though obviously Rose couldn't see you. You hoped she'd get the feeling you nodded anyway.

    “Is there any way I'll be able to tell when he's back to normal?”

    “When he's back to scattering papers and bothering you, most likely,” Rose said, the soft sound of a chuckle flavoring her words. “But I think he'll make himself known when he's able to. The way you've talked about him makes it seem like he's probably just as excited to talk to you as you are to talk to him.”

    It was a comforting though. Another few nods you hoped Rose was able to detect happened as you tried to collect the rest of your thoughts.

    “When should I try telling him about the things Jade and I learned? About.. y'know, about his everything. His history and stuff.”

    Rose was quiet for a moment. You could almost picture her biting her lip, pale teeth on black lipstick that somehow never seemed to smudge or get spotty.

    “I'd recommend keeping your mouth shut about much of that until he's for certain stronger. It's hard to gauge his specific reaction, but the last thing you'd want to have happen is for the information to make him decide to go and then be unable to leave due to not having enough power.”

    “So.. I just need to be a good battery and wait for him, and then get to the nitty gritty when he's all recovered and back to obnoxiously normal.”

    “That's the gist of it, yes. Keep him close and in contact. Think of it as spoon feeding someone overtaken by illness while they recover.”

    “I'm already recovering, I think I can handle a bit more of the resting. Hah, might make Jade happy to finally get off my feet and just take it easy for a while longer.”

    She chuckled. “No doubt. I'd be interested to hear about your progress as things continue, actually. Will you be tracking things as you were before? That data is extremely useful to have on hand, it gives good insight on whether things that feel like they should work are actually beneficial. Who knows who might else wind up in a similar situation someday with a spirit and need to tend it before it can properly move on?”

    “You make it sound like opening a ghost infirmary or rehabilitation place is an option, Rose.”

    Another soft sound from the other end of the phone and far too long of a pause spanned silence till you laughed, awkward. “Rose. I was kidding.”

    “Yes. Kidding. Still an intriguing idea. I wonder if spiritual rehabilitation could work in the case of negative spirits as we-”

    “Rose, I'm gonna have to let you go for now,” you interrupted. “I'm sorry. I'll call back later on with updates, okay?”

    “Have Jade call me later, if you could?”

    “About Dave?”

    “No, to make dinner plans. I think her phone may be drained, it just goes straight to voice mail.”

    That wasn't like her. Maybe she turned it off instead of it dying. Either way, you nod and make a sound of confirmation just in case Rose wasn't psychic enough to understand just how earnestly you'd been nodding this entire time you'd been conversing.

    “Sure thing. Thanks again, Rose. And uh.. Rose?”

    “Yes?”

    “...Could you tell Roxy to send me a bill for what all she'd need to get her laptop running again? I feel like it'd probably be better if I paid or helped pay for a good chunk of that. Even if it was an accident, just. ..Yeah.”

    It was kind of the least you could do, considering someone innocent got caught in some pretty serious crossfire. Things could have easily given way to a fire, taken out the entire apartment building or gotten others killed.

    “I'm sure she'll appreciate it. Between that and her phone, I think her run of bad luck took a bit more out of her than she'd be willing to admit. I'll just pass her your email address and she'll forward something.” A soft chuckle. “If she doesn't, then I'll figure it out and send the information your way instead.”

    “Perfect. Thank you again, Rose.”

    You hung up as Jade was coming back in with a bowl of cereal loaded to the brim, sipping milk from the edge where it precariously sat just waiting to spill all over the floor. She cast a green eyed glance your way to be sure she wouldn't squash anything before sitting down beside you on the sofa to crunch away. Apparently the back and forth sassing hadn't left any lingering bad tastes in her mouth towards you, at least judging by how close and comfortable she sat.

    There was no mystery involved if Jade Harley was angry with you. You were very, very well aware.

    “Rose said to treat myself like a good little battery and just wait on him to make the most of it. Give her updates.. and she wants you to call for dinner plans? Your phone's apparently off.”

    Jade swallowed sideways and nearly choked on her cereal.

    “What? Fuck. I forgot I did that. Right, don't worry about it, I'll call her soon as I finish this. ...But that's it, huh?”

    “Apparently so. Take it easy, eat and sleep plenty, keep him close. I wonder if talking to him helps even if he can't respond yet. Would he be able to hear?”

    “If he's awake he'll hear. Maybe he's just not strong enough to respond and he's actually wide awake worrying? Talking is a good idea.”

    “Great, more excuses to talk to myself in public, exactly what I want.”

    “Truly, you lead a charmed life,” she said with a grandiose gesture of her spoon before popping more cereal into her face. The mood seemed reset now that your obligations were complete. You had solved the mystery of how Dave died, of his origins. You'd gotten Dave back, though you weren't quite able to celebrate freely yet. You were going to repair damage done and set some debts right before they could become an issue. You had ideas on how to help fix things in a lot of ways.

    All you needed was patience.

    ...Fuck does patience suck sometimes.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    You'd spent nearly two weeks being the best battery you were able to be. You ate plenty of decent food, took naps whenever you could, and otherwise gave yourself as much physical rest as you were able to on the sofa when not busy. The entire time you were also murmuring to yourself, talking softly towards the pendant you couldn't help but keep touching, narrating your life and your thoughts to a sleeping spirit that you were guarding. The stone remained comfortingly warm as a hand you could hold in your time alone, and a few times you swore you could feel a soft pulse of a presence coming from it. There had been no speaking however. No dreams being visited.

    The paranoid part of your brain was worried enough that it started to offer up all kinds of awful scenarios that were possibly coming true, despite having clear evidence to the contrary that anything was going wrong. Dave was quiet, but he was there. You knew he was there. ...You just wished he'd react more than a pulse or warmth.

    Dave granted your wish one night. While you worked on your laptop in bed, fucking around on a forum in one window, talking with friends in another, and doing a little research into some new devices for spirit communication that were making the rounds in the online sources, you failed to notice the slender trail of red light leaving the pendant. You also failed to notice the red ball form, only realizing something was up when the corner of your eye caught the red haze starting to take a different shape.

    “Wh-. Dave?!”

    Fumbling with your laptop, you sat bolt upright in bed and glanced down to the pendant before back towards the apparition that was struggling to form something specific. Humanoid was a good start, but it seemed like he was struggling a bit to settle on a specific shape for very long, unable to make up his mind.

    “It's okay, you can stay an orb if you want! There's no rush!” you hurry to say, though he doesn't appear to acknowledge you. The red light strains and struggles, forming Dave's face before flickering and distorting grotesquely enough that you're taken aback. He keeps coming back to his own face, but between flashes of it are things you don't recognize. Monstrous half formed things, faces that belong to people you've never met, and even several times faces you recognized. You could have sworn you saw Jade in there a few times, and Roxy. You saw your own face once or twice before it ripped itself apart to bone and reformed as malleable as clay in the vapor.

    “...Dave?” you whisper. It's the face of Dave's brother that glances at you sharp as broken glass, mouth set in a thin line as his outer edges twitched and spasmed, only to once more break apart at the seams. He looked like he was melting, and it took effort not to panic. Something was definitely wrong, it was obvious to see, but WHAT was wrong. What specifically was wrong? What could even be done about it? You wet your lips and tried to think clearly as you could.

    Be open. Be a good battery. Dave had gone through a lot of strain before coming home, maybe this reforming problem was linked to that? It had to take a lot of power to form a specific shape as opposed to just forming out of habit. You were trying to think of any reasonable explanation you could, despite the taste of bile rising in the back of your throat.

    “Dave,” you try again, keeping his attention this time. Maybe just act like business as usual? “I missed you so much. I'm sorry this happened, but.. you're here now! You're home! And I'm recovering, and everything can go back to normal now.”

    A frown lit on Dave's ever changing face, but he seemed to be starting to decide on the features you were by now familiar with. His eyes were the things that stayed in place the most, barely there hints of lashes pale on a fairly normal shaped face. At least it wasn't splitting apart at the seams anymore.. His mouth still looked too big, too sharp, too inhuman, but it was progress. You gestured with your arms wide as if expecting a hug at any time to come your way, hoping against hope that maybe, just maybe, you'd get it to happen if you wished enough.

    “I know things haven't been easy. And.. I understand if you're mad. Or scared. Or-”

    Something was wrong. Words died on your lips as, finally, Dave's features went into the right order and appeared to hold steady yet the look in his eyes didn't change in the slightest. He looked at you as if looking through you, taking in the room as a whole as if he'd never seen it before in his life. If he was strong enough to form, why wasn't he talking to you at all? Or reaching for you?

    “...Dave,” you try again, moving so your legs were over the edge of your mattress and one hand was reaching for your crutches. “Dave. Say something. Anything. Or.. uh. Knock something over. I'm listening close as I can for you, I promise, but I'm not hearing anything. Am I just not trying hard enough or are you just not talking for some reason?”

    The spirit was glancing at his hands now, wispy trails of paleness caught in reddish mist that faded in and out of view between fully formed mass and smoke. Even with a fully open link, it still took a lot of energy to do that. You weren't surprised to hear the fan of your laptop suddenly kick into high gear behind you, cooling the inner workings down as it drew more power than usual from the wall. He didn't seem interested in talking, or in doing much at all. Compared to the spirit you were used to, how Dave was acting now just gave you the creeps. He hovered gently off the ground, face grim and expressionless as a doomed man, resolute and lost. A thousand yard stare at nothing at all.

    This was Dave, but it was the least Dave-like Dave you thought you'd ever seen. And considering how much you'd learned about him so recently and all the time you'd spent together so far, you considered yourself a pretty damn good gauge of Dave-ness. An unaccounted for lack of Dave-ness with no guidance on what had caused it. Could you soft reset ghosts? Turn it off and on again till the appearance stuck right.

    No, wait, that was a stupid idea. Focus, John. You shook your head hard to clear the thought from your head to focus on the other thoughts instead, the ones that felt instinctively like they might help. After all, you'd shared a body before, two minds in one form. You'd had his voice in your head, in your ear, in your heart. Maybe he just needed that..? Needed a touch, a push, a rekindling to remember properly after the traumatic time apart like someone might take their shoes off and flop on a sofa to make a place feel like home again after a return from a too long vacation. You picked up a single crutch and forced yourself upright to your feet, leaning your weight to keep balanced before taking a lumbering step forward, one hand out beseechingly.

    “Dave. Come here for a second.”

    He stared at you, through you again, then went back to looking at his hands as if they were foreign objects. Maybe they were. The thought chilled your blood, but you lumbered forward another careful step, nearly touching him. It would be okay. It'd be fine. You could do this.

    Dave flinched when your hand went through him as if he'd not realized just how close you were. ...Wait, had he felt that? The contact had been chilly, vaguely electric, but welcome. Familiar. Just needed to keep contact up for it to be warm, right?

    “Come on.. Here. Remember when we were at the aquarium?” you asked, pausing to grin at him. “Would yoooou... want to try that again? No cars this time. It was kind of fun in hindsight. Scary but interesting to back seat in my own body?”

    Were you offering casual possession to an Not-Very-Dave-Like Dave? Yes. Yes you were. It felt important, the closest thing to a hug you could manage when all you craved was contact with someone who couldn't do the literal contact thing very well. Dave stared vacantly, but didn't seem like he was going to dart away anywhere, or at least attempt to given the limitations of the place he was still tethered to. A thought of taming timid woodland creatures crossed your mind as you held your hand out in offer, patient, quiet, smiling.

    “Come on. Come closer. I've really missed you, I can see you, you can see me. I can't hear you and I'm dying for a chat.”

    More staring. ...Okay, you weren't a very patient man in hindsight, but the attempt was still happening.

    “Dave. Come here,” you said again.

    More staring.

    Well. Now or never. Acting quickly, you moved your crutch forward and lunged for the spirit in his red haze as if you were trying to bear hug him, forcing yourself to think as openly as you could. Welcoming as an open door, trying to recreate anything you could from the aquarium as you went right through him and lurched uncoordinatedly straight into your dresser drawers. Another hard wobble as you rebounded too hard in a panic of over-correcting and started to go backwards, passing through Dave a second time directly before starting to head for the floor.

    Though you hadn't been able to see it, the first pass through Dave's body had had a definite effect, a small spark of reaction, memory, something familiar. He'd watched your graceless fumble as well as your rebound without really reacting much beyond observation, too busy trying to organize his own slowly waking thoughts to go further.

    ...Was he home? Where was this? He'd been somewhere else, right? This felt different, it looked different, there was no pink everywhere, no cat.. It felt familiar. Looked familiar. So did the person falling.

    Falling?

    Fuck, falling.

    You were wide eyed and nearly to the floor when the hand extended your direction, and without a second thought you reached up to grab it. Foolish really, trying to grab the hand of a ghost. There was nothing there to really grab, nothing to hold on to or to use to stop the inevitable crash to the ground, but what could you say? When falling the urge to grab a hand was instinctive. Your hand felt like it was numb with cold before it suddenly surged hot, heat racing up your arm and down your spine, making your head swim. You were aware you were changing position and of the world changing place around you, but kept bracing for the impact on the back of your head.

    It never came.

    You felt pressure on your elbows, forearms, and good knee instead. The brunt of the impact was taken in your healthy limbs, injured leg awkwardly elevated and hovering an inch or two above the ground before slowly lowering down.

    ...Wow. That was pretty cool! You'd never even thought of turning like that, it was kind of like a stunt man's moves or something out of a movie. Most importantly, however, you hadn't bashed the back of your head in like a total idiot who'd tried to hug a ghost! Just needed to get up then.

    …

    Just. Needed to get up.

    …

    Preferably with the moving and the getting up actions actually happening instead of just waiting. You tried again, but failed to move out of the weight bearing stance that had successfully broken your fall. Nothing felt heavy or really out of place. More like it felt like your joints were a glimpse of what life was like as the Tin Man after being left out in the rain too long, immobilized. You could feel your glasses starting to slide off your nose towards the ground but couldn't catch and readjust them. They slowly slipped bit by bit off your face before thumping to the ground, leaving your vision blurry and soft.

    ...John?

    “Dave?”

    Well, at least talking was happening. You were grateful your mouth could move, but the talking wasn't very soothing in the face of suddenly being an immobilized statue on the floor.

    “Dave, did. ..Wait, Dave, you're talking now! Where are you at, I can hear you really clearly now!” you realized, voice raising in pitch a bit as the excitement built. Shit, it'd been way too long since you last heard his voice, you hadn't really realized how great it would be to hear him again.

    JOHN

    “Yes, I can hear you! Dave, come down where I can see you, I can't move, I can't see shit at all.”

    ...Wait.

    “...Dave are you why I can't move. Where are you at. I can't see shit,” you repeated, “let me see where you are.”

    John John John John John John John

    “Dave, I'm happy to hear you too but like. Seriously, did you do this?” Had to be. In hindsight there was no way you'd be able to do a cool mid-movement flip like that to avoid damaging yourself in a fall. You were not nearly that coordinated. You felt warmth blossom in your chest and down your spine again, down either leg. You could wiggle your toes for a moment before the statue effect was in place once more.

    JOHN JOHN JOHN JOHN JOHN JOHN JOHN HOME JOHN HOME SAFE JOHN HOME

    “Dave. Dave. Let me stand up! I'm gonna get a cramp! Do whatever you were doing a second ago, I could kinda move for a moment there! You can talk and yell at me all you want but just. Can we go to the bed again? I don't want my leg to hurt.”

    The excited thrumming focused in your chest like a steady bouncing, or like one of those wacky weasel toys that wiggled the ferret on the motorized ball in random directions. You could still hear his voice as if it were getting further and further away before realizing the warmth was focusing centrally before trying to expand outward to each limb at the same time. This was very different from the experience at the aquarium but.. it wasn't bad by any stretch of the imagination. It was kind of comforting actually, especially once you started to realize where things were and could hone in on where Dave was. It had forced you to stop acting automatically and to instead focus inwards at an acute angle that got rid of the borders around your body and the world around you.

    Once again, your body housed two hearts for even a brief moment and you couldn't quite explain just how complete it actually made you feel compared to normal. Not too full but comfortable. Safer. ...Were you missing something, to feel this way? Or was it just a sign of you having a better capacity to work with others?

    Or was it just Dave?

    The warmth ran all the way to your fingertips, coursing through your veins and muscles till you could feel your arms wobble and then go limp. You face planted solidly against your glasses, mashing your nose into the frames hard enough that for a second you were scared you'd break them, pushing back up onto your hands with a sharp gasp. Okay. There was the movement again, but the warmth wasn't dissipating. You could still feel it in your chest, bouncing from side to side and up and down, spinning in circles as your own name was chanted in your ears excitedly.

    JOHN John John JOHN home safe homehomehomesafejohn JOHN SAFE HOME JOHN JOHN JOHNJOHNJOHN!

    You pushed upright to sit flat on your ass and picked up your glasses, taking a moment to rub them clean with the bottom edge of your shirt before putting them back into place. The room returned to crisp, clear outlines and familiar shapes. The pendant was all but burning at your neck, and you realized your lips were curled into a smile that was broad enough it made your cheeks hurt. You were.. happy. Absolutely happy. Whatever had happened between you and Dave, it had fixed the problem before it truly could get started and restored the world to its rightful state of reunion. This was what you'd missed last night when your worry hung in your mind as tangible as spoiled milk.

    “I missed you, Dave,” you whispered, and hugged yourself as tightly as you could. The warmth stopped bouncing around to hold perfectly still for a moment before surging into both of your arms. You realized you couldn't move them again, both hands locked firmly to your upper arms before they began to make rubbing motions, not quite numb but not quite usable. You may have hugged yourself, but you didn't exactly expect 'yourself' to hug you back.

    “Could you feel that too, Dave? Is that why you're doing this?”

    This was unexplored territory, and held plenty of implications you were sure, but in the moment you didn't give a fuck. That fulfilled sensation, the warmth, the foreign feeling of your own hands on your arms that steadily trailed up towards your throat and then your own face as if they were the hands of another? All of it was new and all of it was just memories for the making and taking. You were getting to hug Dave in a flesh and blood way, even if it were only for the moment, and nothing could ever take that away from you. Nobody could claim it was impossible.

    ... John..

    Were you. ..Were you crying? You weren't crying, were you? You were. You could feel hot trails on your face that cooled quickly, and the warmth in your chest was soon joined by a clenching that released in a huffed sob. It was relief, you told yourself. The full relief of everything being okay and returning to normal, of nothing being wrong finally, of questions being answered and of that all but overwhelming sensation of not being alone anymore in your own skin.

    Your right hand lifted to rub your nose as you snorted in an ungainly way to clear your nose. Your left hand, outside of your control, carefully rubbed some of the water from your eyes with its fingertips.

    ...Don't cry...

    “Don't tell me what to do,” you snuffed. “I'll cry if I feel like it, do you have any idea how scared I was that you were gone forever? And then I get you back and you-! And. And you acted like you weren't really there even when you were in front of me and now everything's just. Everything's okay! Everything's okay now!”

    ...Still crying...

    “Shut up and let me have this,” you mumbled. Though the one hand stayed near your face, the arm you were able to move went to hug tight around your rib cage again, trying to hold everything together in case it somehow fell apart or flew away to the breeze. “Let me have this.. Let me have you,” you murmured.

    The tension in your chest lifted and the warmth returned to your limbs, trying to spread to all four at once before it ricocheted around your rib cage again and went straight to your head. You didn't mind the dizziness or the slight ring in your ears, so long as you got to hug it out just a little bit longer.

    “Stay with me like this. Even just a while longer, Dave. ..Please.”

    The warmth stayed, solid and still as stone. You had a feeling it wouldn't be going anywhere any time soon and were grateful. You'd tell the good news to everyone else soon enough. For the time being, though, this happiness was all yours.

#homestuck #johndave #john egbert #dave strider #my fic

[mcgrathandwives]

That's what Luthor's do? Part 2

I've been up since 6am and it's not 12.15am I'm shattered in every way😂 but here's the second part. There will be a 3rd I'm not sure about anymore after that tho.

Also the gif really do capture how I want you to picture Lena (also kinda defensively protective) and Kara😂

Word Count: 2336

----

Slowly your eyes opened to see a few dimmed lights, a redhead stood above you but you weren’t sure who they were everything was blurry. After 5 minutes you came around, shooting up, you looked around your scenery.

Your eyes landed on the green dress wrapped around your sister “Le-Lena! Lena get up!” Panic washed over you. You had never seen Lena like this, a bit of you wanted to joke about how she’s finally getting that sleep but another part of you was scared she wouldn’t wake up.

“She was thrown against the desk pretty hard Y/n.” Alex came in dressed in an all black tight uniform and a clipboard in her hands. “Al? Where are we?” An older man came in also dressed in all black.

“Welcome to the DEO Miss Luthor. I’m director Henshaw, you already know agent Danvers. Your sister will wake up between now and the next 15 minutes. We will need both of your help to end this madness and then we’ll have to take you both in for questioning. But in the meantime, I’m going to need you to let Agent Danvers look you over and your sister.” As quick as he came in he left.

Lena woke up just as Alex was checking your blood pressure. Her reaction was similar to your, jumping up and searching for you, “Y/n?!”

“Lee! It’s okay. I’m here are you okay? Alex, can I get up now?” The redhead nodded, refusing to say a word. You made your way over to Lena wrapping her in your arms, she held you tightly, refusing to let go.

“Lena you need to let Alex check you over. We’re in the DEO and we could get arrested I’m not really sure- not that I’m holding your breath but they need our help.” Lena followed what you were saying, she looked groggy but nodded to say she understood. It took Alex 10 minutes to check Lena over, Supergirl stood anxiously at the side waiting to talk to you. “They’re all good Supergirl.”

She signaled for the both of you to follow her, “The director wants us in the meeting room. He wants to question you two.” Grabbing your sister’s hand you followed your girlfriend. Before either of you could sit you were bombarded with questions.

There aren’t many things in life that scare you other than losing your sister, Sam or Kara, heights and disappointing Lena. But the look on Supergirl's face was making you shake.

Everyone wanted answers but you couldn’t answer them all- frustration was growing over everyone until Supergirl asked the one question you knew would cause a rift in your relationship. “How did you capture Reign?”

Sitting up straight, your grasp on Lena’s hand tightened. “We didn’t capture her, she came willingly! In order to contain Reign, we used Kryptonite. For Sam, we didn’t do anything other than try to make her feel as safe and comfortable as possible.” Supergirl’s face was a hard at the mention of Kryptonite.

“You used what? Y/n how could you even think that doing this would’ve been perfectly fine? Lena how? Why? Sam was your friend I know- she was practically family, but doing something like that with complete carelessness to human regard! What would you have done if Reign got to attack you?” The blonde was pacing back and forth, venting her frustration.

“Just hold on a second Supergirl! You know fine well we’d do anything to protect the people we love! If it meant using Kryptonite to save Sam from Reign then that was what we’d use! It gave us time to find a lead to fix Sam!” You watched the both of them argue closely and that’s when you saw it.

That same frown Kara has when she’s just had an argument with Alex.

Shock shot across your face, catching Alex’s attention, she brushed it off and continued to watch the Super argue with your sister.

“You found a lead into fixing her and you didn’t tell me? Why would either of you keep that from me?”

Before anyone could speak again you started to chuckle.

“We didn’t tell anyone because we wanted to be sure that what we found would save Sam. If we told you or called anyone from the government then she’d be used as a science experiment, Ruby would’ve lost her Mom! We didn’t choose to hide it because we wanted to. We had to be sure! You know what it’s like having to be sure about things don’t you Supergirl?” Tears started to fill your eyes whilst your voice shook. Lena noticed the signs of your voice cracking, “None of you don’t get to stand there lecturing us for not telling anyone when you Supergirl have your own little secret!” Worry flooded the faces of the director, Alex, and Kara herself. Lena lifted her eyebrow in confusion, she had no idea what you were talking about or where you were leading this rant.

“So Kara when are you going to step down off your Kryptonian high horse? You’ve got some nerve to freak out over us keeping a secret when you’ve been parading around in your little red cape and skirt!”

Kara knew you’d find out who she was but she didn’t expect it so soon. Lena, however, was a mix of emotions, her best friend is Supergirl.

Her sister is dating Supergirl.

The nerdy Danvers sister who has been dating her sister for nearly half a year is Supergirl. Her head was spinning, Alex was the first to speak up. “When did you work it out?” You couldn’t look at the Danvers sisters the same, there was a part of you wanting to forgive them but right now you were just too angry- how dare either of them go off on a rant about keeping secrets when they hid who Kara was.

“Does it matter? You’ve made it clear none of you trust us enough to tell us. So why bother? It is what it is.” You couldn’t help but let a few tears fall the reality of it hitting you- your girlfriend is Supergirl.

Lena’s overprotective instincts kicked in, pulling you into her arms hiding you from the eyes in the room. Kara wasn’t sure what to do, looking at Alex she sighed.

Lena wanted to be mad she really did, she wanted to hate Kara for hurting you but she couldn’t she understood why she hid it.

“Kar-Super-Kara could you just give us a few minutes please?” Nodding, the sight of you crying broke her heart- Kara never wanted to cause you any pain but here she was being hypocritical, she knew what she did was wrong but she didn’t want to put you or Lena in any more danger.

The room cleared instantly leaving you sobbing in Lena’s arms, it had been two years since she was last in this position and she wasn’t up for forgiving Kara for making you this upset. If there’s one thing all Luthor’s have in common it’s holding a grudge

--------.

Winn called everyone down to the main desk explaining that he had a hit on the Worldkillers- they were in Metropolis. Lena had explained that you had taken Ruby there but after Reign threatening to kill her Lena had already had her on a plane back here we just had to pick her up from the Luthor landing strip. Alex had assembled a team to collect her.

“I’m going too she’ll need someone to comfort her. Lee you stay here and help the team work out their next attack.” Reluctantly she agreed with you. Coming back to meet Alex you had changed into a DEO outfit, your sister was sporting a similar one, she made your way over to her, placing your hand on her shoulder. “Come back home Y/n, or I swear to god I’ll kick your ass. Please stay safe.” Smiling you pulled her into a hug. Grabbing an earpiece from Winn the team left.

You sat beside Alex, the ride was quiet, nearing awkward. The only interaction you had was agreeing whenever Alex went over the plan with the team. “If it’s any help she wanted to tell you. She didn’t because she wanted to keep you both safe.” Turning to the agent you shared a small smile, “It’s not the point. The point is all of you had a massive secret and yet you grilled us for wanting to keep Sam and Ruby safe. It’s a bit too hypocritical Al.” Alex’s only response was nodding. You pulled up to the tarmac, just as the plane was landing, grabbing Ruby you started to make your way back to the DEO- the ride was short and quick.

------

At the DEO, however, all that could be heard was shouting, Lena and Kara, to be exact. “YOU STILL COULD’VE TOLD HER KARA!” Lena stood strong, just like she does in the boardroom, Kara was walking closer to her as she got louder, “I HAD TO KEEP YOU SAFE!” The older Luthor let out a laugh, “IF YOU HAD WANTED TO KEEP HER SAFE DANVERS SHE WOULDN’T’VE BEEN CRYING IN MY GODDAMN ARMS!” By this point they were in each other's faces, Mon-El and Imra quickly jumped between them both, “Ladies, I understand where you’re both coming from but you need to discuss this either before or after they get back.”, He looked over at Imra asking for help, “Miss Luthor why don’t you come with me and we can talk- it’ll give you both a chance to cool down.” The Super and the Luthor shared a look, “I swear to god Kara you better hope she forgives you for this! Or so help me god I’ll find some way of kicking your ass for hurting my baby sister!” Mon-El dragged Kara away, whilst Lena and Imra walked up to the balcony.

“I know she meant well I just hate that it hurt Y/n more than anything. She’s been through enough and this is- this is ridiculous!” Imra offered a sympathetic smile, “I’m so sorry- Lena Luthor.” Extending her hand to the stranger, Imra, in turn, did the same, “Imra Ardeen. I’m Mon-El’s wife and if it helps I’d be just as annoyed as you are miss Luthor, I’m very protective of my family.” Returning Imra’s smile they fell into a conversation about you and Kara.

You walked into the DEO with Ruby’s hand in yours and Alex by your side. You had decided on the way back that you’d talk to Kara- just to stay on the same page until you could really talk about everything. “Y/n is Lena here?” Searching for your sister you found her messing around with some kind of gadget and what appeared to be Winn and another brunette once Ruby spotted her she was off. “Al, can you take me to Kara? ”

“Sure thing.” Smiling you watched Ruby rush to your sister. You turned on your feet following Alex.

-----

In the training room, it was a completely different atmosphere. Kara was throwing anything she could find around, “How can Lena not see I kept this a secret for the right reasons? How can neither of them see how in the wrong they are?” Mon-El sat and nodded, just watching the Kryptonian in awe, “Kara. Your reason was for protection and so was theirs. You’re both technically in the wrong for not sharing that information.” Throwing another slab of concrete Kara sighed, “They have Kryptonite- how do we know they won’t use it on me like their brother did to Kal? How can I trust them again?” Mon-El cast a glance over to the door, Kara followed, finding Alex with the door open and you standing there. You couldn’t believe what you just heard. “Fuck you, Kara!”

She chased you down the hall toward the main center. “Will you just stop?!”, “Kara I’m seriously not in the mood!”. Using her superspeed she got in front of you. “I didn’t mean it like that.”, a crowd started to form around you both, the agents ready to pull their guns out just in case. “How else did you mean it, Kara? You’re worried Lena or I are going to use the Kryptonite on you just like Lex did to Superman. How else could you mean that any other way? You can’t trust us. You can’t trust me your own fucking girlfriend! How else could mean that?”, she tried to grab your wrist but you pulled back, “Y/n please.”, “Fuck you, Kara, I’m done. I’m taking Ruby somewhere safe far the fuck away from this shit show, one of you can come by once this is over.” You started to walk away when Kara called out “Are we done?”, you shook your head but you didn’t look back too afraid you’d start crying in front of the DEO agents again. Lena and Ruby watched from the lab, as you neared them Ruby ran into your arms and Lena offered a small smile, pulling you into her arms. The only words you shared were, “You were right Lee.”

Alex set you up with a gun to take as a just in case and three armed agents to accompany you and Ruby. Lena would’ve joined you but she was asked by Henshaw to stay, offer as much advice as she could. “Promise you’ll stay safe- the both of you.” Ruby nodded, hugging Lena one last time before turning to Alex. Kara tried to talk to you but you avoided her, “I’ll call if I need anything I promise.” With your last goodbyes, you were escorted out of the building.

Lena watched you leave before she turned to Kara, “The conversation from earlier is far from over, you’re lucky you’re an alien and that she loves you. You’ve crossed a line this time Kara. You’ll be luckier to make it back on my good side.” Grabbing the tablet Winn gave her Lena left Kara there looking defeated.  

#supergirl #lena luthor #supergirl x reader #kara danvers x reader #lena luthor x sister!reader #little luthor

[hashtagkairideservedbetter]

My main issue(s) with KH3

Spoilers abound, so please don’t read if you haven’t beaten the game or don’t want any negative opinions influencing how you see the ending/ the game. I did enjoy several parts of KH3, but this post is focused on things I had issues with, and if you don’t want to see criticism of your media please look elsewhere. 

This is how I interpreted the game as someone coming into KH3 with KH2 being the last game I played, and a playlist of youtube videos spanning lets plays, summaries, and humorous deconstructions as a codex. 

Here’s the thing. I’ve seen several people already break down how KH3′s story and pacing could have been handled better. Specifically, to more comprehensively tie in the 10,000 plot points that needed to be covered in a way that actually helps connect the main characters. I’m not going to get into all of that, because frankly I can’t fake knowing enough about the background lore of Kingdom Hearts to know how to better juggle all of the intermediary games into KH3. 

Most of my grievances honestly lie with the handling of the Destiny Trio and the Disney Worlds. 

I’m going to do a read more on this because it’s gonna be a long one. (Also very much a train of thought, so disorganized, sorry). 

So. Sora. Protagonist of the game (mostly. kind of?). 

A cheerful ray of sunshine.

A Keyblade wielder who has overcome traumatizing ordeals that tore him away from all he loved and knew at least twice now for over three years. 

A continuity disaster stuck being pinballed back and forth between happy goofs and hollow tragedies every thirty minutes in between busywork battles and off-scene disney films for 85% of KH3. 

I understand that Sora’s greatest power is supposed to be his optimism, as it’s sort of the prerequisite for going through disney worlds where people sing about their problems. I get it.  

However, there’s a difference between, “I’m naive and happy and oblivious and that’s why I’m a guardian of the light,” and “I have battled true darkness and felt true loss and decided that choosing to be kind, choosing to embrace joy in new experiences and relationships, is a bigger middle finger to the darkness than anything else.” Guess which one I prefer. Guess which one I was thinking would finally be Sora’s character arc. Instead he’s happy, happy, happy, happy... and then suddenly in the eleventh hour having a mental breakdown. 

Sora is written into a loop every game of kind, naive, but unchanging (”Don’t ever change, Sora”). That was endearing when we were both 14, but after almost twenty years it gets tiring to watch Sora get hit with a reset button every time you meet up with him again. There’s a scene in the gummi ship early on in the games where Donald asks Sora to “take this seriously,” and Goofy remarks that they seem to be stuck in a rut as Donald and Sora have the same conversation over and over again before entering the first series of Disney worlds. Sora knows he needs the power of waking in order to help his friends and free those trapped in his heart, but seems content to just drop into various worlds and wing it, and hope that it all sort of works out. 

And then when it does work out, and Sora uses the power to save everyone, he’s immediately told he’s doomed now? Like, what was the point of him being able to use this to connect with people if he’s doomed. Why did they want him to have this. What’s the point then of Sora having these strong connections. 

Each world makes a big scene about the friendships and connections that Sora makes so easily, but in KH3 there never seems to be enough time for Sora to actually pay them any attention unless the person is right in front of him. Sora seems to make connections for the sake of making connections in KH3, and the ones he has, he does very little to advance or reconnect with.  

Like, the whole point of 100 Acre Wood this time was apparently that Sora’s connection to Pooh was weaker for some reason. I honestly didn’t understand the reason or how it was magically resolved just from Sora showing up and saying hi? But whatever. 

My two least favorite worlds were Corona and Arendelle, for the same reason. There was no believable connection between Sora and the characters there. For fuck’s sake, the combat ally you get in Arendelle is the snow monster, not even a main character.

Sora is like the living embodiment of the B99 clip of Rosa with her dog. He just met Elsa and spoke a whopping five sentences to her, but damn if he won’t climb a mountain five times just for her to save herself without ever talking to him again. Like, literally that is the only interaction Sora has with Elsa. Same thing with Anna, and in her case I literally had to mute my tv so I could track what she was actually saying since they decided to shove two songs from the movie into this game.  

You spend the majority of your time in these worlds trying to play catch up to the leads as they have their movie play out around the bend in the road in front of you, out of your sight. Props to Disney’s ego that they think I remember the beat by beat plots of their films when they came out 9 years ago (Tangled) and 6 years ago (Frozen). I actually had the thought of going and watching Tangled just to remember what Flynn and Rapunzel got up to while Sora wandered around a marsh and had a pointless conversation with Marluxia. 

(Also, getting real tired of the “Good to see you Sora” “Who the fuck are you?” “Oh that’s right you don’t remember that game haha it’s fine it was a gameboy game nobody even knows what those are anymore.” That shit was getting old midway through KH2.) 

To be fair, the PoTC world suffers from the same problem as the other two. Sora shows up, sees everyone for thirty seconds, gets separated, and while we’re dicking around trying to find white crabs on the islands there’s a whole movie going on that we don’t see or participate in. I feel really bad for anyone who did not keep up with that franchise because I only watched the third movie the once and I was confused as hell. Also, the whole time I was finding the crabs in Port Royal all I could think about was this ProZD video. 

I just. I’m 26 years old. These movies hold no nostalgia for me, and maybe that’s the problem. I already had a connection to Aladdin, Peter Pan, etc, so I was maybe more willing to suspend my disbelief and just enjoy the interactions. But those Disney worlds also felt more tied in to the plot. You can make the argument of Marluxia and Larxene putting pressure on Sora to find the Wayfinders so that six princesses of heart aren’t used as backup... but where are the other three? Anna, Elsa, Rapunzel, and Kairi make four. Where’s Merida, Tiana, Moana? Mulan or Pocahontas even, since Moana was probably too recent. (But probs not, as it was probably starting development in 2014). If that’s going to be yet another subplot, shouldn’t you at least see it through?  

My point is, I can distinctly recall prior games mostly keeping to the established script in the disney worlds, but still letting Sora really get in there and interact with the characters. The heartless, nobodies, etc were a real wrench in the works for the plots, and had an actual effect on how the story was told and the order of events. Sora felt more involved in cutscenes and was an active participant in the world’s events instead of just a bystander. 

In KH1 and KH2 there was a dialogue happening between the villain of each world and a greater evil. Hell, in KH1 they were a unified council! In KH3 they’re puppets who don’t even talk to the bigger bad like Randall or Mother Gothel, or are there for a whopping thirty seconds like Hans. It makes it more and more obvious that the Disney worlds are just being shoehorned in as a contractual obligation than for any real purpose anymore.

 The only world that’s appeared in all three games, Olympus, was especially jarring. Like, you could tell there was a lot of corners cut on what VAs they could get for this game, as Phil does not speak once. Meg spends more time making eyes at Hercules and nodding than showing any of the sass she has from the film. (This was a thing in KH2 as well tho so I can’t complain about them continuing to drop the ball on even background women characters-- Oh wait, I can, because they’ve had T H I R T E E N YEARS to get it right.) 

Which I guess is as good a segue as any into Kairi Time. 

Listen. Did I mention I’m 26? Yeah. I started reading fanfic on livejournal. I was there when AO3 first got its start. I’ve seen the shipping wars. I know the dark past of Soriku vs Sokai.

I couldn’t give less of a fuck. 

These characters are still 16 and I am now 26. I’m fine with them trading noogies and maybe being able to kick back and play some Mario Kart. Kairi would wipe the floor with both of them because she had time to get good enough to beat Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie combined between KH1 and KH2. 

The point is, I don't care one way or the other about shipping. If my 15 year old self were here, they would be horrified I wasn't over the moon when Kairi and Sora finally shared the paopu fruit. As it is, I kind of stared blankly at my screen and went 'huh, there's gonna be a lot of fanfic fixing this moment.'  From both sides, I think, because even if you're into Sokai you gotta admit that moment did not feel romantic. It felt forced. Like "Oh hey, we've been putting this off, huh. Welp, here we go!" 

It doesn't help that I really, truly, don't like whoever Kairi's VA is in this game. Like, she sounds so ditzy and soft. Get that shit out of here. The dialogue and voice acting in this series has never been its strength, but honestly, I cringed my way through every interaction between Kairi and Axel because of how stilted and bad their conversations were! I’m definitely not saying that Kairi’s voice was stellar in 1 and 2, but at least her voice was clear, and had personality, and by the end of 2 was actually fairly strong. She sounded strong, and determined to be fighting with Sora and Riku, green as she was then, in the World That Never Was.

Whenever she talked in the third one I just sort of grit my teeth and wondered why someone on the production team wanted Kairi to sound so weak. 

Then they killed her at the labyrinth and I said, ‘Ah, that tracks.’ 

I played FFXV, so I guess shame on me for not seeing the signs when the girl love interest is about to be capable and not needing the hero to save her. She gets taken! And killed. Fool me twice, shame on me. 

I actually saw people excited about that Verum Rex thing and after seeing the Noctis ripoff reaching for the Luna ripoff covered in purple light I laughed, and laughed. And then sighed and reached for a stiff drink. 

All this to say that while I’m angry but not truly surprised that Kairi was once again shafted, I’m all the more pissed that they did it in the laziest, most insulting way possible by hinging it all on Sora needing a reason to fight Xehanort. Like, really???? Really. That’s your angle. The man-pain trope is so painfully overdone. Please. It’s 2019. Come into the future with us, Nomura. 

And I feel bad that all of the stuff I just wrote mostly revolves around Kairi being Sora’s romantic interest. But that’s because that’s all this game allowed her to be! Princess of light what? Bequeathed Keyblade wielder in her own right who??? Every battle she and Axel share with Sora they get their asses kicked in 30 seconds flat, so maybe Merlin should have left them suspended in time a little longer. Maybe long enough to convince someone out there in the universe that these two deserved to be competent. 

Hell, not just competent. Amazing. Kairi deserved to be able to stand on her own two feet and hold her own. To be running alongside her boys and not just be an object for them to tussle over or save. As Aqua’s somewhat successor, she deserved to be a terrifying wielder of battle magicks and flurries of light magic. 

To be replaced by Xion was just insult to injury. Like, I’m very happy that Xion got her heart back and was reunited with Roxas and Axel, but she didn’t need to be brought back at Kairi’s expense. The world won’t implode if the replica and actual person inhabit the same space. 

Which is leads us to our third member. 

Riku. To be fair. Riku got the most growth as a person out of the three of these kids, easy. We finally see a Riku who is confident in himself and his journey, and willing to take everything he learned along the way to help Mickey, Aqua, and even his own replica. However.... 

He doesn’t seem to give two shits about Kairi anymore? Did they even talk, like, once during the whole game? I can’t recall a single instance where Sora, Kairi, and Riku were in the same place together where it was just them, and they held an actual conversation. Hell, where they even said “Hi, how’s it going? What have you learned, had any good food lately?” 

God, even when Kairi was taken, and then when she was killed, Riku had one moment of anger, and then was completely, like, chill again, and back to talking Sora down. Like, what? I don’t want any love triangle bullshit, but Riku and Kairi were friends as much as Sora and Kairi and Sora and Riku are friends. 

And that’s what bothered me the most about the disappearance of Kairi introducing this bullshit narrative of Sora abusing his power of waking. He spent two games trying to get him, Riku, and Kairi together. But he doesn’t want Riku to help him get Kairi back? And Riku’s just going to let him go?! After all Riku has done and learned about falling to darkness and clawing yourself back to light and peace, he’s just going to let Sora do the same?

I call bullshit. 

And this is why when Sora suddenly faded out of view on the beach next to Kairi I slowly leaned back in my chair, dropped my controller into my lap, and flipped off my tv screen with both hands.

#vent #kh3 spoilers #kh3 #writing criticism #give these kids the happy ending they deserve #they can be paired in any combo you want #but let them be happy

[katelynhummel]

Wuthering Heights | Eli & Kate

Tagging: @elikarofsky & @katelynhummel Location: Eli’s suite Date: May 23rd, evening Summary: Scene Week, involving a mix of bondage [Eli & Kate], impact play [Eli & Kate], and sensory play [Eli]. Also, Katelyn’s first scene.

Eli gathered up her supplies, a flogger, a candle and some rope. She hoped her plan for Katelyn would be okay with the submissive but she was getting nervous as she waited for the girl to arrive. Walking over to her bookcase, she pulled a couple of books for the girl to choose from while she waited.

Kate took a deep breath before knocking on Elizabeth's door. This was about to be her first ever scene, and while she had long expected to be the Dominant in the situation, she was glad to be doing this with someone she respected. Gaining enough points to get off campus certainly helped her nerves some as well.

Eli heard the knock and took a deep breath before opening it and smiling. "Hey. Come on in" she greeted. Closing the door behind her, she walked towards the kitchen where she had her supplies laid out. "So" she started, straight to the point. "You have total veto power but I was thinking of using some of the bondage techniques from class and binding you and then have you read out loud while I use these to try and distract you" she explained to the sub, biting her lip as she waited for the response of the other girl.

Kate offered Elizabeth a hesitant smile as she stepped inside, and she followed her over to the kitchen. Seeing the items laid out like that made her nervous, but a small part of her was also really excited at the thought of finally doing a scene. "I like that, Miss," she said after a moment. "I've... never actually done any of this before, so I don't know what I can and can't handle, but I do like your plan. What would you like me to do?"

Eli nodded. The fact that Katelyn had never done a scene was what made Eli nervous. She was a slut. Everyone knew that. So not only doing a nonsexual scene with someone but doing their first scene made Eli a little nervous. But it wasn't the first time she had done a scene so she had to just have faith in herself. "Well, Normally I'd ask you to strip down but if you don't feel comfortable doing that we can work around it" she explained.

Kate shrugged. She wasn't completely uncomfortable with her body, but getting undressed seemed to indicate things growing more sexual. That was her only problem with it in theory, and she knew that this scene didn't have to become sexual. "How much would you like me to take off, Miss?" she asked, shrugging out of her cardigan and laying it over one arm.

Eli thought for a moment before nodding once to herself. "If you're comfortable with it, down to your underwear should be enough" she explained, sending a comforting smile

Kate nodded, though her body felt wound tight with nerves. "That's completely fine, Miss," she said. She set her sweater down on the back of a chair, then pulled her shirt off over her head. After toeing off her shoes, she slid out of her skirt and piled everything neatly on the chair with her sweater. She was left standing in a matching, lacy, pink bra and panty set, and she clasped her hands together in front of herself when she looked back at Elizabeth.

Eli watched the girl undressed, very aware of the nerves. Once the girl was done, she smiled at her and grabbed her supplies before reaching out a hand to grab Katelyn's before lightly pulling her towards her bedroom. "I just want you to be as comfortable as possible" she explained as she brought the girl to her bed. "Would you like to use a particular safe word or does the stoplight system work for you?" she asked, before she started anything.

Kate allowed herself to be led into the bedroom, and though she didn't show it outwardly, she was grateful that the Switch was taking her comfort into consideration here. She sat down on the edge of her bed and thought for a moment before responding. "The traffic light system would probably be easiest, Miss."

Eli nodded before placing the rope and flogger on the bed before placing the candle on the side table and lighting it. After it was lit, Eli snapped her fingers before running back to the kitchen and returning with three books. "I probably don't have your collection but I have Wuthering Heights, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring or The Name of the Wind" she read off as she displayed the three books to the girl to choose.

Kate watched as Elizabeth lit the candle and got things set up for them, and she did her best to hide her nerves. She smiled when she saw the books and picked up Wuthering Heights. "I love Lord of the Rings, but I don't enjoy the books nearly as much as the films. They're cinematic masterpieces," she explained.

Eli smiled as she handed the girl the book before placing the other two on the side table. "I hear you there. And while we all know they're super long, I'm super bummed hey left out Tom Bombadil and Glorfindel" she said with a shrug. "So I'm gonna have you in the middle of the bed. I'm gonna tie your elbows to your knees, to make your mobility limited but your ass exposed for this" she explained, lifting the flogger. "I'll also be binding your wrists together, so I'll turn pages for you. Once we get you all tied up, you'll start reading out loud. I'll provide 15 hits. For every time you mess up, you'll get some hot wax after we're done with the hits. Understand?" she went over, hoping everything was okay with the sub.

Kate grinned, relaxing a little bit more once Eli started talking about the Lord of the Rings. "You and me both," she said, "though can you imagine how long the movie would have been if they'd kept all of those songs in?" She shook her head, growing quiet as she listened to what Elizabeth had planned. She eyed the flogger warily but nodded. "Understood, Miss." She was nervous about actually being able to get through fifteen strikes with that flogger, but she told herself that she could do it. She was strong, and she didn't want to disappoint the Domme. Who knew, she might even find that she enjoyed it--there was a reason that she signed up for the impact play class, after all. She pushed herself up onto the bed and kneeled down in the middle. "Like this?"

Eli chuckled. "They would need their own movies, those songs" she joked as she watched the girl move to the center of the bed into position. Nodding she smiled. "Exactly" she said before she quickly moved about tying the girls wrists together than her elbows to her knees before finishing with her ankles. Once everything was tied, she stood to the side for a moment "You okay? We still good to go?" she asked, ready to quickly untie the girl if things were too much.

Kate laughed a little at the joke but didn't respond, her attention already focused on the scene that was about to start. She was proud of herself for allowing Elizabeth to tie her up without fighting at all; it was amazing what a few deep breaths could do to keep her calm and collected. The position was a little uncomfortable at first, but only because it was new. She did a quick mental inventory of herself before nodding. "Yes, Miss," she said. "I'm okay. I'm good."

Eli nodded before grabbing the book and opening the drawer of the side table to pull out a book stand to set up in front of the girl. With the book set up in place, Eli nodded again. "Alright. Whenever you're ready, you can start reading out loud. If you stop for more than 5 seconds after each hit, mess up the word or phrase you're on during a hit or any other words come out such as ow or fuck which are not in the book, with the exception of your safe words, I'll count them as a mark. At the end of all this, you'll get one candle pour for each mark. I'll start after you start. If you have any questions, please ask before you start reading. Other than that, whenever you're ready" she said in a calm, collected tone, doing her best to keep Katelyn calm.

Kate stared at the book in front of her while she listened to the instructions. It all made sense--it was so simple, really, when she thought about it, but she was still impressed with all of the thought that Elizabeth had clearly put into deciding the scene. She was fairly certain she was setting herself up for failure here, but she still wanted to try. "Eighteen-oh-one," she started. "I have just returned from a visit to my landlord..."

Eli nodded to herself as the sub began reading. Letting her rad the first paragraph, Eli positioned herself behind the girl. After a few moments, she finally brought her hand back and brought the flogger down. It wasn't the hardest she had ever hit but it was not a soft hit as well. It was a nice starting point that she could build off of, trying to feel how the sub was going to react.

Kate grew more and more nervous the farther she got into the paragraph without any sort of strike landing on her backside. When Eli finally hit her with the flogger, she gasped in shock at the pain. She'd known in theory, of course, that impact play would be painful, but to actually experience it first-hand was something else. It took her a few seconds to regain her concentration enough to find her place and keep reading, and she was certain that she'd taken too much time to recover. One pour of wax wouldn't be too bad, at least--or maybe it would be. Her voice shook slightly as she moved on. "'Mr. Heathcliff?' I said. A nod was the answer."

Eli counted to five in her head before mentally noting one mark. She didn't want to say anything out loud, to not distract the girl from her reading more than necessary. After a few more lines, she brought down the second blow, quickly followed by the third and fourth, leaving only 6 or 7 seconds between each hit.

Kate was better able to control her reaction through the next several hits, now that she knew what they felt like. It seemed to sting a little worse with each new hit, but she managed to keep going each time. On the fourth strike, though, she stumbled over what she was saying. Sentiment came out as sentinel, and she winced, knowing that would be another drop of wax. She steeled herself for the next blow, starting the sentence over again.

Eli heard the stumble and made a mental note but kept going. She was proud how the girl powered through, rarely stumbling or losing concentration. Once she got to ten, Eli paused. "We doing okay?" she asked, making sure Katelyn was alright. She also knew that the last 5 hits were going to be harder than the first ten and she wanted to let the girl know, so she wasn't caught off guard.

Kate did her best to get through each of the strikes without breaking one of the rules of this little game, though there were definitely a couple more stumbling blocks as she made her way through onto the second page. She'd lost track of how many hits she'd received after the first few, so she was surprised when Elizabeth asked her a question rather than continuing. "Yes, Miss," she said meekly. "Are-- are we done?"

Eli smiled but shook her head. "5 more. I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay and let you know that I was going to come down a little harder" she explained. "You've done good so far. Only 4 mistakes out of 10 hits. I'm proud of you" she said with a smile on her face. "If things get too intense, use your safe word. I won't be offended or upset. But I am going to push you on these last 5" she explained. "You can begin again whenever you're ready"

Kate gave an involuntary little shudder when she heard that she was only two-thirds of the way through this part of the scene and that the pain would be getting worse from here on out. She was proud to hear that she had only messed up a few times, and she nodded confidently. "Yes, Miss," she said before clearing her throat and starting to read again. "Wuthering Heights is the name of Mr. Heathcliff's dwelling..."

Eli nodded as the girl began reading again and wasted no time bringing down the flogger, a little more power behind it than she had been using before. At the loud slap, she paused, waiting to catch the girls reaction.

Kate knew the flogger was coming again, but she wasn't prepared for it to come down so hard or quickly and she completely forgot herself. "Fuck," she gritted out between her teeth, wincing when she realized what she'd done. She breathed in through her nose and took a moment to find her place again.

Eli chuckled at the girls reaction. "Pretty sure Lockwood doesn't say that" she said softly before letting Katelyn find her place again and begin reading. After a line or two, Eli brought down the flogger again, the same intensity as the last one. With a break between each one, Eli made her way through the last 5 hits, proud of the sub she was with.

Kate was less able to concentrate on what she was reading now that Elizabeth was hitting her harder. It took her longer and longer to regain her composure with each hit, but each time, she eventually managed to keep reading. When she was pretty sure she'd received the last hit, she just kept reading through the pain, wanting to get through it as quickly as possible. "...previous-to-inspecting-the-penetralium," she said, the words running together in her effort to just keep going.

Eli was proud of how the girl kept going. With the exception of the first hit, Katelyn pushed through and Eli was going to reward that. Putting the flogger down, Eli made her way around to the front of the girl. "You're done. You can stop. You were such a good girl. So so good" she said, brushing loose strands of hair out of the subs face, smiling at Katelyn. "How are you doing? are you okay?"

Kate stopped reading as soon as Elizabeth said she was able to, her voice dropping away in the middle of a word. "Thank you, Miss," she said, feeling a little dazed as she looked back at the other woman. "I-- I think so. That was... intense." She took a few seconds to try and compose herself a bit, but she knew there was still more to come. "When are you going to use the candle, Miss?" she asked. "And where?"

Eli smiled at the girl. "Impact scenes usually are" she agreed. Hearing the girls question, she smiled. "I wanted to make sure you were okay and you were okay continuing. I was going to leave you in this position. You only have 5 pours. I was going to go with your back and feet unless you'd like somewhere else" she explained to Kate.

Kate didn't know what it was about Elizabeth's smile, but something about it made her feel much better about what she'd just gone through. Her ass was pretty sore, and she was sure that wouldn't be going away any time soon, but she was glad the Switch was there with her. "That's... fine, Miss. I just want to make sure it doesn't get on my bra or panties."

Eli heard the girls concern and nodded. "I can make sure that it stays away from your undergarments" she said with a smile. Placing a soft kiss on the girls forehead, Eli got up and grabbed the candle before moving behind the girl again. Looking to see how much wax she had, she took a deep breath. "Ready?" she asked before she poured some of the wax onto the girls lower back, making sure she was far enough away from the girls undergarments.

Kate was nervous again all of a sudden. She'd gotten used to the feel of the flogger landing on her ass, but hot wax against her skin was completely new. "Thank you," she said. When she was asked if she was ready, she answered right away. She wasn't sure if she was, but then again, if she wasn't ready now, she'd never be ready. "Yes, Miss," she said, tensing up when she felt the wax landing against her back. It was hot, but not painful in the same way the flogger had been.

Eli did the 4 remaining pours quickly. She did two more on the girls back and one on each foot. Once she was done, she put the candle down before moving to undo the bindings. "You okay?" she asked the sub as she massaged the girls arms to try to get blood flowing regularly again.

Kate gasped each time the wax landed on her skin, though it was by far the worst on the sensitive undersides of her feet. She was panting pretty heavily by the time it was over, and she was very grateful to be untied. She let Elizabeth take care of her arms, but she had to stretch up onto her knees a little more, needing to change position there, too. She was wary of moving too much, though, not wanting to aggravate her ass or accidentally knock wax off. "Yes, Miss," she said after a few moments, feeling strangely out of it. "I think so."

Eli let the girl stretch out. "I have some lotion I can put on your ass and thighs. Or, if you're not comfortable with that, I can give it to you to put on yourself" she said. "It's a cooling lotion. It'll take out some of the sting" she explained. "You're also more than welcome to use the restroom. I can draw a bath for you"

Kate smiled shyly at Eli, eventually stretching her legs all the way out so that she was lying on one side and looking back at her. "Could you put it on?" she asked, wanting nothing more in this moment than to be taken care of. It was a strange feeling, but she certainly wasn't going to fight it, not when the Switch was so accommodating. "A bath sounds wonderful, too."

Eli smiled at the girl and nodded before getting up to get the lotion. Returning to the room, she sat on the edge of the bed, looking at the girl before placing some lotion in her hand. She then reached over and carefully lifted the edge of the girls panties before placing her hand under the garment, not removing it out of respect for the sub, hoping that was okay. "How's that feel?" she asked softly.

Kate lay there quietly while Elizabeth left the room, her brain still trying to process everything that had happened since she'd arrived. She moaned softly when she came back and started to rub the lotion into her heated skin. "So good," she said, stretching the words out and mixing them in with her moans.

Eli chuckled at the girls reaction and continued rubbing the warm skin. Once she covered the entire area, she rubbed the lotion on her hands before standing up. "I have something for you. For being so good" she said with a smirk

Kate frowned Elizabeth pulled her hand away from her ass, wanting the massage to go on for much longer. She perked up a little at the mention of a reward, but she stayed lying where she was, too comfy to move. "What's that, Miss?"

Eli grinned at the girl before walking over to her desk and grabbing her sketchbook. Opening it, she found the drawing she put into a plastic report page holder and grinned as she turned around. "I made sure I had it finished for today" she said as she handed the girl the sketched out blueprint of a library that would fit into a bedroom sized room with a window nook for reading, a ladder on wheels to get around the bookshelves, a fireplace and comfy seating with an option of either a desk or coffee table in the middle of the room.

Kate watched in curiosity as Elizabeth pulled out a notebook, and it took her a moment to realize what it was. When she did, though, she pushed herself upright so that she could look at it better, wincing a little as she put pressure on her ass, but it was worth it. She held the sketch in both hands and examined it, a smile growing on her face with each individual feature she noticed. "This is incredible," she said softly, continuing to look it over for a few more seconds before looking back at the Switch. "Thank you, Miss. I'd love this. I don't think I'd ever leave."

Eli smiled down at the girl as she took in the sketch. "Well when you get your own place, you can let me know and I'll come make it come to life" she told the sub.

Kate returned Elizabeth's smile and nodded. "I'll have to do that," she said quietly. It would, of course, depend on whatever her eventual Dominant wanted, but with any luck, she'd find someone who wanted to let her have something this nice. "Thank you again, Miss."

#para #p:elizabeth #gleedsmscene1 #p:wuthering heights

[the-cryptographer]

FEBRUARY MARCH CHALLENGE!!!

Yay! I did the thing! Below the cut you can find some silly answers and silly ms paint artwork~ It’s been forever since I’ve drawn and even more forever since I’ve drawn anime, so everything sucks but be kind, okay~

1. Favourite Character

This guy!!! I remember liking him immediately when I first watched in gradeschool, so he’s a longtime fave. I wish I remembered the basis for my affinity all those years ago, but it’s been lost to the tides of time. Now I kind of think about how his character works on two levels for me:

(1) On a kind of surface level, he’s just really fun to watch. His voice and his dialogue. The comedic expressions. The stupid accent in the dub. He’s temperamental and hammy. And, unlike a lot of the other characters, when he’s upset or unhappy, he’s generally driven towards being more active rather than being more passive - so instead of introspective scenes where he’s retreating into himself, you get all these scenes where he goes out and starts doing really dumb shit. He’s one of the few characters I pretty much universally enjoy watching for the theatrical value.

(2) And on a kind of deeper level, I just find him really inspirational. He’s far from a flawless character - there are so many ways he acts recklessly and makes mistakes, so many ways he can be grating and even cruel, and so many things he’s really not that good at. But he’s just so resilient and determined and such an aggressively good friend to Yuugi. I think especially with all the darker subtext in the manga, you can see the really bad places he’s come from, and how he’s been met with so much failure along the way - but he’s made it so far~ I wish we could all fall and get back on our feet as easily as Jounouchi.

2. Runner Up Character

Put-upon Egyptian Cult Leader!! Who I don’t believe I talk about enough.

He’s an exciting villain, imo!! He puts Yuugi & co in a lot of tight spots, and in a lot of ways didn’t seem to leave the story on the same page as them, but he comes through his arc just devastatingly sympathetic in my mind. I think it’s easy to sympathise with the way he’s at war with himself and his lot in life.

There’s kind of a lot of exciting attributes collected around him too - mind control and alternate personalities, Tomb Keeper politics and Rare Hunter politics, an uneasy partnership with the big bad of the series, and a really poorly established relationship with his brother Rishid that switches between master-subordinate, patient-caretaker, and older-and-younger siblings.

On a personal level though, I appreciate the way he’s willful and clever and lazy and manipulative and NEVER STOPS LYING. I appreciate how much he fights and loses hope and is renewed in his fight against his more insane tendencies. I appreciate that he doesn’t seem to develop genuine fondness for the protags so much as come to realise they’re his way out of this mess and pragmatically follow through on it. And I appreciate how he’s revealed to be fiercely caring towards his siblings in spite of all faults. And it feels so real and tender and angry and human, I even temporarily forget how awful he’s been mere hours before.

Admittedly, I don’t exactly have a clear picture of his fanon existence and what I’d like from it. Especially since I’m not super into the thiefship scene. I’d kind of like to read more about him though. Especially about him and his siblings, or him and Ryou, or him and Yuugi.

3. Favourite Protagonist

Cutie baby~

I guess... Yuugi and I... are maybe... kind of... alike? I’m like a tall, shitty version of him, lmao.

He is a passive pacifist sweetheart with too much self-doubt in his heart and too much porn under his mattress. I like how he grows into himself in the series and learns to be more assertive - but remains the calm, friendly, and trusting person he always was.

4. Favourite Villain

I guess this would be Malik again? Who even counts as a villain in ygo? All of them get redeemed.

I’m just gonna say Kaiba. Kaiba’s tried to kill enough of the protags to be a villain, lol. He’s weaseled his way into a central role in the series tho~ Mr. Popular~

I think I’ve talked quite a bit about why I like Kaiba - but he’s just so damaged and so weak and so strong. He builds death theme parks and shuts down weapons production. Compared to us average humans, he’s more capable of doing good and more capable of doing evil both. Also I project onto him like a mofo.

5. Favourite Yami

I guess this would also be Malik again - Malik’s disturbing split personality.

Naw, tho~ My new favourite Yami is Yami!Isis. All bow down to the cold, all-seeing Priestess.

6. Favourite Series

Season Zero. Or idk, I still have to watch Season Zero but I love manga Season Zero so I assume. Um, the manga? Or am I just supposed to say DM? I still haven’t gotten to watching GX at length but I will.

7. Favourite Arc

Season Zero

A different game every week. Mundane school life in Japan spiced up with pyromania. lots of character focus. Thug life. But I already kind of answered this for the last question.

Maybe Duellist Kingdom?

I like the duels in DK a lot - I know they didn’t follow the rules, but they’re kind of snappy and satisfying. And it has a lot of my favourite Seto moments and Mai moments. And I like the straightforwardness in the arc’s setup, the goals of the characters, and how it built up to the finals. I feel like there’s not a dull moment building up to the confrontation with Pegasus from the meeting with Seto before the castle - the way Atem lost to Seto, and then Seto getting his soul pilfered, and Tristan and the others climbing around the castle, and the Atem-Mai and Jou-Keith duels were some of the better ones in the series.

But my cracky id loves DOMA?

It’s stupid and I know it’s stupid. But the silly villains. REAL MONSTERS. Mai having PTSD complications. Roadtrip in the USA. All the polarshipping. stfu - I can like DOMA if I want to like DOMA.

8+9. Favourite Quote & Runner Up Quote

I am so bad at remembering quotes. I mean, you can’t beat the Yuujou pun, I guess.

I suppose I like the speech Anzu gave Kaiba during DK, about the chip of life, and how Yuugi saved him. I don’t like Anzu’s speech in the dub, but for some reason Kaiba snapping back at her What do you have? with ‘I have all that I need!’ has really stuck with me - I have no idea why(??) But I even used that line in a fic.

I also like when Jounouchi goes on the date with Fake-Virtual-World!Mai. “Anywhere’s fine, so long as it’s with you.” Aww~

I’m not sure any of these are my favourite favourite, but I liked them all.

10. Funniest Moment of the Series

When Kaiba dropped a key into the ocean and somehow Jounouchi didn’t die, lmao

Okay, for reals tho, I’m not sure. But it was funny when Jounouchi almost fell off the balcony in Duellist Kingdom. And the potato song. And when Jounouchi called Kaiba on the phone and Otogi did the Kaiba imitation during DOMA. And when Kaiba and Mai got into a street race - NEVER FORGET!

11. Scariest Moment of the Series

OMG. When Bakura as Honda confronted Yuugi about giving up his wish, and Yuugi tearfully admits his wish was to have friends. Raw. Terrifying. I died.

Okay, again for reals. I guess that’s my admission that the series never managed to make me really fear for the characters. There are times when I scare myself thinking about how empty Kaiba must feel at times though.

12. Favourite Moment Overall

*plays Mystical Refpanel* “Jounouchi-kun… Daisuki da.”

13. Runner Up Moment

Mai giving Jounouchi the entry card during DK.

Mai’s so elegant. But, geez, this must have taken a lot out of her. She just lost her own duel - was just crying herself - has never really had friends before by her own admission. She does this with such seeming ease but she’s really putting herself out on a line here - and Jounouchi probably even doesn’t understand that - but he does all the right things anyhow <3

Yes all my favourite moments are people being nice to Jounouchi - shut up!

Other runner up moments are Rishid’s speech to Malik at the end of Battle City. Kaiba sacrificing Obelisk to summon the Blue Eyes during his duel with Isis. And I also like the very end of Duellist Kindgom and how Mai gets last minute invited on the helicopter ride. Which leads nicely into the next question.

14. Favourite Romantic Ship

Mai/Jounouchi/Kaiba.

Mai and Jounouchi are my favourite proto-romance in the series. Jounouchi and Kaiba are my favourite duo in the series for interesting and revealing character moments. All together they make the greatest ship of bad decisions ever invented.

15. Favourite Platonic Ship

There aren’t many things I only ship platonically. And for things I ship romantically and platonically – there are a ton. But shout-out goes to MaiKai for being the platonic bros of my OTP. I told you - NEVER FORGET that time they got into a street race.

I feel like there’s a lot to work with here though. High society. Introversion and the desire for isolation. Rigidity vs flexibility. Maturity and competence vs pettiness and complete and utter stupidity. Mai beta testing Legendary Heroes. Mai giving Kaiba ‘grown-up’ advice. Learning to trust. They will be drinking buddies. They must become drinking buddies.

16. Runner Up Ship

Honda & Otogi & Serenity.

I like them taking the train together in the manga, but it’s mostly an anime ship. I enjoy watching Otogi and Honda fighting each other for Serenity’s attention and getting completely wrapped up in each other in the process, lol. There’s a level of transparency to it that I find amusing. And it’s sweet the way they all move in to cover each others’ backs during the duel with Oota. They have their missteps, but it makes things feel rewarding when they come through for each other in the end. And, lol, this moment-

In the context of a romantic ship, Honda’s so romantically idealistic and Serenity’s so naively unindulgent - they’re both very stubborn in their own way, but I feel like Otogi is capable of bringing in the realism to mediate that situation. I think my headcanons are heavily influenced by this writer’s work. Even outside of a romantic context though, I want them to be an adventurous trio of friends, lol. I hope they all grow up and manage it in the future~

17. Another Runner Up Ship

Second runner up could be so many things, but this stands out as something I want to see more of - and also have a drawing:

Mai & Vivian.

Okay. But seriously. I want Great Wall of China fataleshipping adventures. I want them to be super catty friends. Please give me more of Mai postcanon female friends and femslash.

18. Favourite Monster

Dark Necrofear!

I talked about most of the cards in this post, but I’ll refresh your memory. (I haven’t made it far in Reshef, but Duel Links has left me feeling more or less the same regarding favourite cards.)

19. Runner Up Monster

REMEMBER WHEN KISARA WAS A CARD~

AU where Kisara is the Happy Queen of the Duel Monsters parallel universe, and Kaibaman is her dimension hopping servant.

20. Favourite Spell

One of these two.

21. Favourite Trap

Hahaha. Fuck Kaiba >:(

22. Design Your Own Character

No. I drew Asuka from GX instead.

23. Design Your Own Monster

I’ll do it one of these days~ But not today~

24. Favourite DSoD Moment

Idk, when Yuugi told Kaiba off? When Otogi and his dad showed up? When Jounouchi wrote his initials on his Duel Disk? When Honda and Yuugi rode a motorcycle and went to save Jounouchi? When Jounouchi and Honda rode a bike to school?

WHEN KAIBA WATCHED YUUGI PUT TOGETHER THE LAST PIECES OF THE PUZZLE AND HIS FAAAAACE D:

25. Favourite New Character in DSoD

MANI! SO CUTE! SO SWEET! SO CRAZY WHEN HE PUTS ON THE RING!

But Shadi also gets points here for being different enough that I can imagine him as a new character.

26. Least Favourite New Character

Sera.

27. DSoD Could Have Done _____ Better

Lots of stuff but I’m not in the mood rn. I liked the film overall.

28. Favourite New Card From DSoD

REMEMBER WHEN MAHAAD WAS A CARD~

OMG! That’s the end of the meme! It took forever, right? But thank you if you read all this way <3

#mine #FebYgoChallenge #meta lite #save me from this card game hell

[tori10rambles]

Jumin’s route is done! That was a freaking roller coaster. aka the route in which i probably broke my own heart a little before I even finished Day 4, and it only got worse from there. And DAY 10 DESTROYED ME.

Being the rabid Seven fangirl I am, getting this route was hard. The only thing that kind of soothes my heart is that I didn't get any heart breaks from Seven. (You know, besides his actual heart by Day 10. That kind of negated... almost all my good feelings).

i just want to help like, every single one of these losers with their problems jfc.

Also, per usual, these comments were written as the game was being played, and so are probably kind of incoherent, and switch from first and 3rd person POV sometimes in the middle of the same point. All of that is under the cut.

Also, for some reason, the After end CG didn’t save to my album. Hm....

  Jumin

So much of his personality is explained by his dad honestly. Also, I have a very bad feeling about his dad and the Choi lady.

When you grow up in the public eye, it seems like the choices are to either try to become as bland/invisble as possible to avoid having the paparazzi on your ass (as seen with Jumin), or you do a Tony Stark and make a party/attention whore mask and basically try to own it.

Considering how Jumin describes his dad (skirt chaser? easily seduced by a pretty face?), I'm not completely surprised that he doesn't like women.

Also, should I be concerned that I find his utter failure at photography kind of adorable and odd, considering his best friend is a professional photographer?

...What the fuck did your dad do? A fiancee, seriously? The creepiest part is that apparently she's related/connected to his new skirt?

"I won't sell out my father over my cat." Does that mean your dad's actually tried that/is trying that? jfc

it's kind of cute watching him be concerned over MC, because you can kind of tell that he's warming up to her/starting to like her, but doesn't really get (want to acknowledge?) why.

Your dad is an asshole for using you as a bargaining chip. Also, please note that Jumin apparently cares about the company and how his father's personal life affects it more than his father does. And that Jumin is still more considerate of people's feelings, despite being a "robot."

...Considering the women from your dream sound like gold diggers and possibly at least one cougar/pedophile, I cannot blame you for disliking women.

Also, his dad is really bad at getting him. I feel bad because this seems like the first time this happened? Someone save Jumin from his well meaning, but obviously ignorant-about-his-son's-personality father.

Putting your cat in a cage because you think it’s the safest option does not include the emotional problems of being stuck in a cage

You’re projecting, Jumin... Rika onto Elizabeth? Wtf? I gotta say you apparently dodged a bullet considering what she did to V’s eyes

Jumin talking about controlling his cat is .... really creepy. because he talks about Elizabeth 3rd like she's a person/personified to him, so what would he do with an actual person he cares for?

he thinks intimacy is a luxury. jfc

So I'm at your place, but I'd really like an explanation for the cage.

y'all know things are bad when Jaehee knows he's unstable. ...why am i at his place at night again?

So while I'm enjoying you riling up Zen, some of your comments creep me out ("I don't want anyone else to look at her"). That's creepy (and also not a response I would choose), even if it is kind of cute.

are you offering to cook, or are you offering your chefs? Because strawberry pancakes sound delicious.

...wtf, put me to bed? I am not a child or a pet. 

Yoyoyo, does this imply you had feelings for Rika? omf not another person who wants me to be her replacement jfc yoosung was bad enough

Who is surprised that Elizabeth 3rd ran away? Not me.

i cannot believe you went and used lines from a soap opera to play Sarah. ...And that it worked

...Is this REALLY the time to be kissing me!? And what is it with these men and kissing me when I'm not ready for it!? Seriously, these guys have some awful timing.

Um... no. You are not giving Elizabeth 3rd back to V. You obivously love her, and you need more than just MC to care about, Jumin.

...I cannot believe you just said "the use is fairly similar" when I asked if I was a replacement for your pet. If I could, I'd run. I'd run SO FAR.

I'm pretty sure Elizabeth ran away because you legit went and caged her for hours when she's used to roaming around your penthouse freely.

...forever? HELL NO. I am my own person and deserve to be treated as such.

this complete 180 in personality is disturbing as hell.

Possessive Jumin scares me. A lot. At least he knows a relationship needs time.

...Half the shit coming out of your mouth sounds so creepy.

Trapping me somewhere and telling me it's for my own good is not protecting me... it's making me desperate to leave.

omfg, the Jumin phone call with the hilarious response!

Jumin's building is like a gilded cage. it terrifies me on a level i can't comprehend. like, I may be a bit of a shut in, but even I leave the goddamn building when I feel like it. It's the fact that I have the choice to leave, i think.

He feels... surprisingly less menacing/creepy on Day 9. Thank god.

Oh thank god they found Elly. hopefully this means Jumin will CALM THE FUCK DOWN.

I'm with Jumin on this one, his dad is really blinded if he thinks hiding your credit report from a businessman you're trying to marry is a good idea. That just screams goldigger

The fact that Jumin actually expressed his emotions and concerns to his dad, jfc that's progress. Also, he's managed to find a middle ground, SCORE!

...dude, how often do you say thank you and that you appreciate Jaehee;s work if she's that shocked?

that phone call immediately after the meeting with father is actually pretty sweet? omg. but the one where I call him after that VN was kind of... eh. not as nice

...When was the last time jaehee got a holiday? When was th elast time you LET her!?

...Okay, the VN after the 21:46 chat on Day 10 wasn't bad until the very end. Then it got weird. I am NOT a thing to be devoured jfc.

THANK YOU for seeing what's wrong with Rika's vision of a perfect world.

"We like each other. How can we be dangerous to each other." - THERE ARE SO MANY WAYS TO RESPOND TO THIS I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO START.

YOU ARE NOT PUTTING ME IN A GODDAMNED CAGE. I AM NOT A PET OR AN ANIMAL JFC THAT'S NOT SOMETHING TO JOKE ABOUT.

I feel like you're planning some sick burns, and it involves public humiliation. I'm so down for this.

At least you're letting me out of the penthouse?

Your idea of marriage is weird, but understandable. Also, I hope to HELL that wasn't a proposal after you only met me 10 Days ago, and LOCKED ME IN YOUR APARTMENT FOR MOST OF THOSE DAYS.

...what's with the rings on you status icon?

YES YOU'RE BEING TOO POSSESSIVE.

You sound kind of adorable as a kid.

Now that he's let me go home, he's actually kind of cute? I liked his Christmas DLC ending better tho.

Oh my god, that's savage.Public humiliation ftw.

YOU ACTUALLY PROPOSED. WTF. the dress is awesome though. i'd wear that but with less boob window

Seven

I'm so sorry. T_T I'm leaving your route for last, which means I need to be mean/indifferent to you and this sucks like hell. Especially since I get to talk to you more than once in a while. Almost none of the responses I want to make in Days 1-4 are the ones I chose to get this route. this is pain. none of this is okay. i am not okay. i will probably not be okay whenever i think about seven during Jumin's route.

The space station phone call makes me want to cry, because shit, he obviously is crushing at this point? And I'm going to end up crushing his heart into itty bitty pieces and I can't stand it. It's like... like waiting for the inevitable, and the suspense only builds because you know it's gonna happen, but you don't know how bad the resulting reaction will be.

The cat dream phone call makes me really fucking sad. because taken into consideration with the conversation Unknown and Seven had in Yoosung's route, and Unknown's rant in Yoosung's Bad End 3, I'm getting very concerned about Seven's childhood.

Everytime you break the fourth wall, I squee. And goddamn, you're right about games and Yoosung.

Zen and Seven are so freaking mean to Jumin, omf. but seriously this is the kind of drag I'd do to my friends, so long as they knew I was open for retaliation and didn't mean half of it

Your love for your cars is kind of adorable.

Seven’s friendships w yoosung and zen are hilarious and adorable. Like, give me more of it.

Why do i think that half the things you claim come from a book you read are actually things you think up yourself?

Every time you meet Unknown, my feels hurt. And I really, really want that explanation for who he is.  I mean, I read spoilers obviously, if you've seen my tags, but I wanna see how the game reveals it.

This man, seeing him sound so broken after his encounter with Unknown continues to upset me. That phone call about relationships hurts to, because there is CLEARLY some projecting going on there.

THIS FUCKING PHONE CALL.

Jfc, Seven is not okay. I'm so glad i can ask if he is or not and not end up on a bad end. But damn is it not fun to see him break. And the aftermath.

You're not okay (the 15:29 chatroom sounds like you're talking about Unknown btw, which I mean, MC doesn't know, but is obvious to anyone who is watching you), but I hope you can be okay soon.

Also, this just makes things even worse to me? Because not only has the person he cared about NOT chosen him, but the person from his past who was supposed to be safe and happy apparently hates him. And he's not getting any answers. Like, this just might the worst route for Seven?

Wait, what did V promise you? What does it have to do with unknown? Good lord, I want answers. Mostly so you finally have them.

Zen

Stop flirting with everything in a skirt that breathes. Especially me. That can only end badly.

Also, please know I agree with you SO HARD about Jumin's treatment of his workers, but again, I'm going for Jumin's route this time, which means agreeing with him.

But please, quit picking on jumin about being an "ice king" or "robot," because he literally does not know how to express emotions.

You and Seven are so freaking mean to Jumin, omf.

Zen’s dream is creepy. Adding meowing to the creepy music box music is not cool

your misconceptions about Jumin's life is amusing and concerning

lololol Big Brother Zen does not like MC being alone with Jumin.

Thank you Zen, for saying everything I've been saying about this situation.

religious nuts? Zen!? What if that's Mint Eye

Zen continues to be the best dude for coming to MC's defense.

Yoosung

I'm so afraid for this boy because he's so gullible. You'd think he'd know by now that Seven likes to troll people. No, I'm not counting the resets in that statement. Seven made it clear basically in the first couple of chats/calls/texts he participated in that he's a humongous troll when it suits him.

OMFG the infamous M call. I was not prepared for that holy shit.

omf Yoosung. STUDY. PLEASE. ...And now you have summer classes.

your misconceptions about Jumin's life is amusing and concerning (the bodyguard thing at least)

your insight into Jumin and his view of relationships is... really close to what i thought. good job yoosung!

I pity Yoosung for taking care of Elizabeth.

Jaehee

I'm so sorry I have to condone Jumin's work practices for a good end. And that I just gave Jumin a new cat project. You don't deserve this bullshit. No one deserves this bullshit.

Are you playing wingwoman? because it might actually be working.

I don't blame you for this really creepy situation.

you're so kind of try and assuage Zen's worries.

I understand your frustration with Jumin and wholeheartedly support it

I'm so glad you get a holiday omfg. Also, it’s hella cute and kinda depressing that you’re so happy about getting the vacation.

V

Your friendship with Jumin is so cute wtf.

is it your guilt complex and your need to keep the memebrs "safe" that would make you upset that Yoosung is going along with Seven? Because if so, that's kind of hypocritical considering Seven's a member, and you wanted him to go alone.

Goddamn it V. Thanks to your secrecy, I can't go back to the apartment.

ANSWER SEVEN. PLEASE. SEEING HIM SO DOWN IS NOT FUN.

Oh my god you're sassy. I wasn't expecting that. It's awesome though. Legit, half the fandom seems to forget that V is a sassy mofo. We need more of it.

Rika

...Wow, you are crazy. "A device that can take everything, that can delete everything"... What the hell kind of shit is in that apartment, Rika? Because there is no way there's only information about your party guests... Or is that the entire point? Is there blackmail there?

...You just sounded so nice there, talking to Jumin. Wtf happened to you?

A world without pain or mistakes... that's so idealistic... and impossible. Progress is important! We'll stagnate otherwise, and while being comfortable is important, so is making progress so that EVRYONE is happy. You can't tell me that those who are poor and starving and sick are happy where they are. Feeling sad is HEALTHY, especially after making a mistake or being affected by one. It's what keeps us empathetic and compassionate towards others!

...Are you REALLY asking your BOYFRIEND'S BEST FRIEND if he'd date you? REALLY!? I CANNOT BELIEVE... That's so cruel to V! Even if it WAS a joke!

And honestly, that last statement sounds like you want everyone to like... commit assisted group suicide or something.

Unknown & Mint Eye

Why does it seems like Unknown is talking to you in the VN from Day 2? It's so creepy, especially when you're reading that chat in the dark, after having woken up in the middle of the night for the game.

Goddamn it you gave me a heart attack. I can't tell if it's the music that scared me more or the messages.

...How have I gone three routes and not realized your HQ is a fucking castle?

Sarah & Glam Choi

Fucking gold diggers and attention whores, man. I cannot believe y'all are trying to use Jumin and his dad for money. Like, wtf?

Also, what the hell gave you the idea that Jumin is the type to mix work and pleasure? Also, Jaehee could totally do better than Jumin.

You are never getting rid of Elizabeth 3rd. It's stupid to think you can try, let alone succeed.

Goddamn it, using the paparazzi to your advantage is a dick move.

Knew you were after their money. You company is weak af Sarah, and apparently you have no idea how to make money.

...how stupid are you to think that Jumin couldn't recognize his own goddamn cat.

...Y'all just got PLAYED by the Ice King.

Public humiliation ftw! now leave and don't come back.

Uh... I couldn’t really enjoy this route very much because of the very possessive and creepy undertones halfway through the 11 days. I mean, I know he gets better, but honestly, that shouldn’t be behavior an s/o should have to stick around and try to “fix.” It also sounds a lot like coercive behavior abusers would use? Basically, I think Jumin needs a therapist who will probably need their own therapist instead of a girlfriend, because that kind of emotional burden is heavy and not something I think I personally could handle.

I was talking to someone else about this route, and we agreed that his route really isn’t good for anyone who isn’t personally emotionally or mentally healthy/alright.

#Tori Plays MysMe #Jumin route #commentary #Mystic Messenger

[cityescape4]

15 17 19 26

Thank you! (ALSO. For those it may pertain to: Zexal Spoilers lie ahead)

15. How did you get into YGO?

I was little bitty, like maybe about 6-ish, when I saw my first episode of YGO. My mom told me she wouldn't let me watch Pokémon until I turned 10, (ironic, seeing as 10-year-olds start their Pokémon journey) but she apparently didn't care about me watching YGO. So I was flipping back and forth between Channel 13's "Disney's One Saturday Morning" lineup, and waiting for like, Power Rangers or something on the channel YGO popped up on. I heard the YGO DM theme song and was immediately like "... Well, I have to know more now." The episode I saw was "Arena of Lost Souls, Part 1" where Joey was trapped in the cave with Bonz and his Zombie Monsters, and because of that, I thought Joey was the main character for like, 2 weeks. I remember loving the monsters, and thinking the card game was cool, and went to school the next monday to talk to my friends about it. Only one of them had seen it, and we would have pretend YGO duels with made up cards during lunch and recess.

17. Have you ever cried over YGO, and why?

The first time I cried over YGO was as a 9-year-old kid, when Yugi's soul was taken by the Orichalcos and Yami Yugi was bawling his fucking eyes out. I was quick to follow suit. My mom tried to stop me from watching YGO the next week, but we went to my Grama and Popo's house and they were like "Let the kid watch what her cartoons!" and my mom was basically like "you dont understand, she was nearly inconsolable" and then they recapped the previous week and I started crying all over again.

The second time I cried over YGO was the finale of DM, when Yami Yugi went to the afterlife. I was 2 months shy of 11-years-old, at my Grama and Popo's house, and was eating Frosted Flakes out of my favorite blue bowl that had a straw attached so I could just sip out the milk. I was so convinced that because he'd had his own body, that Yami Yugi was gonna stay with Yugi and them be best friends forever. Then he went to the afterlife, the series concluded, and the credits rolled. I was a mess. My Grama came and found me, wondering what was wrong. I was like "He's dead! They killed him!" and she was like "?!?! Who's dead?" I pointed to the tv and explained that my TV show finished and the series ended with my favorite character dying, and she began cursing me out in Spanish, and hitting me with her broom.

((Zexal Spoilers!!)) The third time I cried over YGO was the day Zexal episode 133 aired. I had barely kept myself together the previous week, because one of my favorite characters, Durbe, had died. So to follow that up with not just one, not just two, but three character deaths the next episode? Completely fucked me up. ESPECIALLY since Alit was one of the casualties. I bawled my eyes out because I was so upset we'd lost him, Gilag, and Rio all in one damn episode.

The last time I cried at a YGO was the finale of Zexal. I just. really love that series. To see it end made me so upset. It wasnt the heartbroken sobs that I had with DM, tho. It was more like... a sad acceptance of "this is it. it's over." And then I fooled myself into thinking we'd get a third season called Zexal III. I'm still waiting for it

19. Least Favorite Series?

I don't really have one? If you had asked me 10 years ago, I'd say GX because it wasn't DM, and I believed it 'tricked' people into trying to watch it with Yugi being in episode one, Cyrus being a Yugi look alike (at least, to me he did), and the one weird conversation Cyrus had with Judai about them being Pharaoh and Priest. I was so convinced as a kid that the show was trying to be DM without being DM, and I resented it for it. I know better now. Granted, I still haven't seen GX, but I've been hoping to change that.

26. Favorite YGO music (Aside from openings/endings)

To be honest? None come to mind. Its been a while since I've sat and watched a series enough that I pay attention to non-opening/closing music, and I can't recall anything from series I've already seen.

[Send me YGO themed asks!]

#asks #lawwhooves #YGO #DM #Zexal #Zexal spoilers #long post