#I think i actually have this post somewhere in my drafts already but I keep on drafting reblogs because I want to tag them correctly but am

[boxbug]

A Canary’s Final Flight

My piece for @trafficzine 4th edition! Get it for free here! 200 pages of excellent art and fics, incredible work from all participants and from the mods especially!! huge shoutout to the mods for real

Process notes under the cut! (I struggled a lot so it's a bit of a novel)

So the entire process was a Ride. I knew when I picked this prompt that I was going to have a hard time, because Jimmy’s final death had been illustrated a billion times over by extremely talented artists. But I had a Vision of the snapshot of the second before the impact, when everything is still but you know what’s about happen. It was very much inspired by the clip of Fog by Jabberwocky, bu the thing is, they have the advantage of all the build up of the fall, and that’s when the trouble started.

This was my first version, and obviously it wasn't working. And I was trying so hard, with so many iterations! Small wings, big wings, no wings, different poses, less backgrounds elements. I'd done compositions were everything seemed peaceful but something is Wrong, but it wasn't working this time.

So instead I focused on what rendering I'd like to do - I tried a painterly approach, for that visceral feeling, but it wasn't working either (but hey, I did keep the red sky, so, progress)

At this point I'd been doing back and forths for weeks and I was just as lost as at the start. Now that's my tip for people who make art of any kind, in situations like that, stop thinking about how you can make the best piece possible, and think about you can have fun with it (because when you aren't it's visible). And for that was, 1 - going back to using ink and pen nibs and doing way too detailed inking, and 2- looking at Dave McKean's covers for Sandman (which, funnily enough, was also a reference for my previous trafficzine piece)

And from there I was actually going somewhere! Between the jagged rocks, the red sky, and the increased verticality with the borders, I had hit the vibes I wanted.

I did some experimentation with the border, and even though I really liked the bad boys I drew they were taking too much away from the lonely desolation, so I actually used Red (Unecessary Redstone)'s idea of all of Jimmy's worldy's possessions scattered on the ground post impact, with the idea to make it looks like the central image is his grave being dug.

(and yes for a short amount of time the were supposed to be clock markings on the sun, but there was already enough going with the wings so I scrapped that) (also fun fact the reason why the wings aren't fully material but more ghostly is because my toddler cousin was watching me draw the very first draft and asked why he didn't just use his wings and i went :( so the wings are a metaphor now)

So from there I found a bunch of picture and took some myself, cut and assembled everything together, added shadows in all the appropriate places, and repainted some elements so that everything would look better intergrated (some of the wheats are basically 100% handpainted, the cardboard as well). This took a suprisingly long amount of time, but I was done!

Well I wasn't expecting to have that much to say, but I hope if you're still reading, it was at least interesting!

#trafficzine #limited life #limlife #limlife fanart #jimmy solidarity fanart #solidaritygaming #i forgot all the tags augh #curse of not posting often #mcyt fanart #mcyt #zine illustration #zines #my art

[tlbodine]

Stuck? Try junebugging.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but we're 5 days into nanowrimo so maybe this will be helpful.

Do you want the safety and surety of knowing what happens next in your story but can't stick to an outline? Does knowing in advance what will happen suck the joy out of discovery writing? Do you try to wing it through plots but get tangled in plot holes or have a story that runs out of steam because you can't figure out what went wrong? Are you at your most creative when you have a little bit of guidance? Do you tend to under-write? Do you get ideas in your head for random scenes and snippets that drop from the sky without context?

If any of these apply to you, junebugging a draft might be for you!

What Is Junebugging?

Since you're on Tumblr, you might already be familiar with the concept of junebugging as it relates to cleaning. If not -- I think the idea was first introduced to me by @jumpingjacktrash.

The basic idea is that you tackle cleaning by way of controlled chaos. You pick a specific area you want to focus on, like your kitchen sink, and then wander off to deal with other things as they occur to you, but always returning back to that area. You end up cleaning a little bit at a time in an order that may not make sense to an outsider but which keeps you from getting overwhelmed and discouraged.

How Does Junebugging Work in Writing?

OK, so that's great, but how does this work with writing? Well. In my case, the general idea is to jump between writing linearly, outlining, and writing out of order. It usually looks something like:

Start free-writing a scene, feeling my way through it and enjoying the discovery process.

Thinking, ok, now I have this scene, did anything need to happen to lead up to it? Do I need to go back and add some foreshadowing? Does this scene set anything up that needs to be paid off? And then jump forward/back to make those adjustments.

I'll usually have a bunch of disconnected ideas of ideas that have popped into my head, so I'll write those down in a list somewhere and then try to figure out what goes in between them and what order it goes in.

I'll write what I call "micro-scenes" which is where I'll just sketch out a few essential elements of what's going on without worrying too much about details, description, etc. -- just he did this, she said that, the setting was this, real bare-bones script. Then I can come back through and flesh out each of those microscenes into an actual scene later.

Got a story that has a complex structure? No problem. Write through each storyline one at a time and then chop them up and weave them together afterward. Write all the B plot scenes first then come back through to do A plot and C plot. Move the pieces around like legos. No one ever has to know.

This method works for me because I can't "decide" story elements in advance. I have never been able to just sit down and "figure out" what happens in a story beyond a couple steps ahead -- I have to discovery-write my way forward. But at the same time, that gets really daunting. So I zoom forward with micro-scenes, roughing out the beats in the most bare-bones way possible, then when I run out of clear vision for what happens next I backtrack, flesh out those scenes, build in connective tissue, etc. and by then I will probably find more inspiration to jump forward.

It's basically folding drafting, outlining, and revising all together into a single phase of writing, which is chaotic and goes against everything people teach you, but if it works? then it fuckin works.

Anyway, sorry for the jumbled-up post, I'm dashing this off quickly while I heat up a pizza and I'm about to dive back into my WIP -- but I hope this was a little helpful. If nothing else, take this as my blanket permission that it's 100% OK to jump around, write out of order, write messy, outline sometimes, pants sometimes, and do whatever else it takes just to get through the story. You've got this. Good luck.

#writing tips #nanowrimo #writing advice #nano 2023 #writeblr #writing community #plotting vs pantsing #junebugging

[yourstrulyrika]

i am actually going to explode. i had a half of fic already written when the tumblr app crashed and the draft didn’t save. :(

ada wong x fem!reader smut ♡

i’m rewriting this but just a small note, it’s my first time writing for wlw and writing for Ada in general, but i hope ya’ll will like it. here’s the promised ada wong smut for valentine’s ♡ no warnings, smut, dom!ada, nothing rough. i always state when i’m writing anything rough so no worries! it’s really just ada eating you out ♡

also! i’m doing a poll in my next post regarding my last post, as i mentioned. you can choose which dimitrescu girl you want to see me write for!!

synopsis: Ada surprises you on Valentine’s day with a gift ♡

Ada has seen the worst of the world. hell, she’s not a good person either. she’s somewhere in the middle, but you still love her. Ada doesn’t like bringing work into your personal life, but sometimes, it’s unavoidable. once in a time, she gets a random call in the middle of a cuddling session with a new mission for her.

and this happened a few days ago again. you don’t blame her, how could you? you love this woman. still, it does feel.. lonely. her touch, her sultry voice, you just miss it. she may not be the loud type of person, but you feel her all over you all the time. always around you, her scent on the pillows, your clothes since you two share a wardrobe. you really just miss her, but you have faith in her.

you’re patient. Valentine’s day is coming up, but you don’t prepare anything for it. first, you usually don’t celebrate days like this, and second why would you when your darling is absent? you decide to just go to sleep early, Valentine’s suck anyway. you force yourself to fall asleep, hoping the evening and night passes quickly.

that is, until you feel the familiar, rich cherry perfume right beside you. it stirs you awake a bit, but you think you’re hallucinating or really missing Ada, so you shift in your sleep, or at least, try to. before you manage to shift your position, you hear her silky, smoky voice,

“Missed me, darling?” she says it so gently, as if angel was speaking to you. well, in a way, she is an angel. for you. it manages to bring you to a half asleep state, but then, she places her hand under your chin, tilting your head, patiently waiting for you to wake up.

it instantly makes you wake up, opening your eyes to check if you’re dreaming or is your girlfriend really in front of you in the middle of the night. once you open your eyes, you see her smirking at you, before pulling you into a deep, passionate kiss. she missed you too, you can tell with the way she’s kissing you. locking your lips together, cupping your cheeks to keep you in place until both of you are out of your breath. a small string of saliva connects you two even when she pulls away, before she gently wipes the saliva off from your lips, cocking her head to the side.

“I wouldn’t leave my girl alone on Valentine’s.” she whispers against your lips, chuckling at your sleepy state. adorable you are, she thinks. she pulls away just enough to stare at your pretty face, making sure you’re looking at her.

“Got something for you,” she motions to the elegant gift bag. she made sure that even the gift bag was fitting. it’s dark in the room, but you can make out the most of the gift bag when you squint your eyes. you don’t get to look at it for long before she gives it for you to open it, turning on the light at the same time.

when you open it, you find a lingerie set. not just any lingerie though— it’s Valentine themed.

a white lingerie set that is covered in little hearts all over the lacy part of the bra, with your name embroidered on the right breast, and her name on the left. the lacy is also scattered with hearts, garter straps and thigh-high stockings, all lacy. she definitely got it custom made just for you.

“So, what do you think?” she asks you with full confidence, leaning back to see your reaction. she’s satisfied with herself, because your reaction truly is adorable. with a smirk, she moves closer again, cupping your cheek,

“Think you can wear it for me, princess?” she asks you in a deep, husky voice, hoping you agree. the moment you get out of bed to put it on, she guides you to the mirror, already right behind you, helping you put it on. brushing her hand here and there, making sure everything is matching perfectly to your body. once satisfied, she reaches out to cup your breasts covered by the lingerie, putting her head on your shoulder, gently squeezing your breasts.

“Knew it will fit you. So pretty for me.” her hands are moving all over your body, brushing her nails over your clothed nipples teasingly, kneading your breasts, admiring just how well the lingerie fits you. she finds it so fucking hot, the way the lacy fabric looks on your skin. she’s reading your reactions, noting the little squirms and twitches. oh, how much she loves you.

she decides to go further, kneeling in front of you, possessively holding your thigh. she pulls out her phone, looking up at you, gently patting your thigh so you look at her.

“Can I take a photo, princess? You just look so heavenly, can’t get enough.” she makes sure you’re comfortable, always. she would never put you into a situation where you’re uncomfortable. when you agree though, she takes a photo of her gripping your thigh in front of the mirror, lips brushing against your thigh and covering your skin with lipstick marks all over. you’re in for a session, definitely.

she definitely likes the lingerie a biiiit too much. but how can she not when her girlfriend looks so fucking hot in it? makes her mind go crazy with love and lust mixed into one.

she guides you to bed, sitting between your legs, parting them to pepper your inner thighs with her lips and bite marks. after a while, she takes another photo of your thighs full of her marks. Ada is not that possessive, but it riles her up when she marks you up like this.

she can’t handle it anymore. she cups your pretty, clothed pussy, staring at it as if it was the most beautiful thing in the world. she rubs her long fingers over your slit, getting a moan out of you. her lips curl into a smile as she keeps up the teasing rubbing, before pushing the fabric aside for a bit so she can lap at your creamy pussy.

she shoves her head, latching onto your clit, circling her tongue around your pretty, throbbing clit lazily, eliciting a small whimper out of your puffy lips. she almost purrs as she feels your legs twitching around her, your movements only encouraging her to go further.

“Missed this so much.” she whispers against your skin, voice muffled by your thighs. she looks up at you with a hazy look, before pushing your hips closer to her face, wrapping her arm around your thigh. she keeps lapping at your cunt, savoring the taste and ghosting her fingers over your pretty clit as she slides her tongue in and out of your hole. she feels your walls flutter around her tongue— she can tell you’re close, which is why she speeds up her movements, circling your clit with her fingers.

you swear you’re starting to see stars. Ada’s tongue feels so good— she always knows how to touch you and devour you whole. it’s like she’s all around you, enveloping you in her embrace. you can’t help but arch your back, pushing your hips further into her mouth, making her chuckle against your sensitive bundle of nerves, sending vibrations to your core.

“That’s it pretty girl, just cum for me, don’t think about anything else.” she whispers, blowing a gentle kiss to your clit before wrapping her lips around it, sliding her fingers in your hole instead before curling them, rubbing just the right spot. she keeps hitting it repeatedly until you cum all over her face, which she happily accepts and swallows it all. she can’t help herself, she pulls out her phone again just to take photo of your messy state with her head on your thigh. your legs are covered in love bites and lip marks, pussy all puffy and still sensitive from just cumming. to her, the sight is so damn beautiful.

“My new wallpaper, huh?” she teases as she looks at the photo before turning it off and patting your thigh and guiding you to lie down. she can see you’re sleepy, so she won’t do anything else now.

“Happy Valentine’s day, darling.” she whispers as you slowly drift off, pressing a kiss to your head. she reaches out to clean you and herself up before lying down beside you, wrapping her arm around you, spooning you from behind.

she’s definitely gonna look at the photos once she’s out on a mission again. you just look to pretty like this.

#ada wong smut #ada wong x reader #ada wong #ada wong x you #ada wong x female reader #resident evil smut

[n0maku]

Some details from the Undertale Legends of Localization book

271 pages! If the localization of Undertale into Japanese interests you, I suggest getting the book off of Fangamer yourself. Anyhow, here's some details I noted from my reading:

-"mt.ebott is "toby" backwards, inspired by mt. itoi from MOTHER" (translation note from Toby to 8-4). This detail is also mentioned at another point in the book.

-An image of the debug tool that 8-4 developed to quickly jump to points in the game has "No Mercy" as a tab...(?) selector...(?). I don't quite recall what other names have been used for the route 'officially', so found it interesting enough to note. It is also referred to as such a few other times in the book.

-The name they used for the fallen human (shown in their debug tool menu image) is "Rose".

-Toby instructed the translators to keep ICE-E somewhere, even if to keep it funny the wordsearch got changed to something else.

-It has been known by people already, but the book notes how each item has three names! One standard name, one abbreviated for battle menus, and one abbreviated for battle menus during serious scenes. I think I recall some post calling it "Serious Mode"...? For example, the Butterscotch Pie goes in the battle menu from "ButtsPie", to "Pie" in the Toriel fight from "Serious Mode" . (Though, it says they cut the abbreviating for the Japanese translation as there were less space needed for the item names. I guess that means the japanese version didn't get any 'silly' item name variations...?)

Now, this gets pretty long, so I'll just put a readmore here...

-The translation of the Wrong Number Song comes up in the book, and it actually references that the main fan theory for who the "G" is is Gaster! BUT it reveals nothing about it basically. Toby remained mysterious about the "G..." person referenced in the call, with his note on it being "Character's name beginning with "G"... Actually, it might be suitably bizarre if you leave this line completely intact in English." Disappointing, but admittedly expected that this book wouldn't give any more details about it.

Apparently initially the localization team also thought it was meant to be "Gaster" and put a "Ga--" in an early draft, but it got overruled by Toby's decision to keep the call in English.

-A section emphasizes how while Monster Kid's dialogue uses ore, a more masculine pronoun, ". . .Toby designed the character to have no clear gender," and "Monster Kid's gender is never specified in the original script." I personally found it nice how the section asserted Monster Kid's gender neutrality and emphasized the pronoun choices being more purely used to reflect character, and chosen after consultation with Toby. -Onionsan's unclear gender led to the translators choosing for them to use watashi (which the section describes as a "polite, somewhat gender-neutral" pronoun), or simply "Onionsan" (which works to emphasize their childish vibes). -There is nothing about Frisk/their name is never mentioned. A section on Parsnik only notes that Hard Mode is accessed when you "give yourself a certain human's name." -Apparently Toby says Alphys is pronounced "al-feez"

-It is noted that Toby did not mean to reference the "it's over 9000!" meme with the dialogue "OH YES! MTT-BRAND OVENS CAN REACH TEMPERATURES UP TO NINE-THOUSAND DEGREES!" -For the (slightly inaccurate) Kitchen quote CHECK text (two lovers standing over the cauldron of hell...), Toby asked the translators to just translate it directly instead of grabbing the exact lines from the Japanese version of Kitchen. The section emphasizes how Toby was so unattached to it being a reference that he specifically requested the translators to not bother with it.

-There is a section on Entry Number 17 (the wingdings one, not the unused alphys one)! However, it is not referred to as such, merely vaguely talking about it- how most people never see some of the lines in Undertale, and the process of translating the wingdings. (They wrote out the Japanese translation with English spelling, keeping the same wingdings font.)

The image examples they use are images of the wingdings "THE DARKNESS KEEPS GROWING" and it translating to wingdings "YAMIHA NOUDO WA MASHITE YUKU". Funnily enough, the section notes ". . .it almost feels like these messages contain dark secrets. . ." and ". . .the localization team wanted to preserve the 'dark, mysterious, and unreadable' vibe in Japanese too." "Dark" twice... ha ha, these writers, I swear...

Sadly, no mention of Gaster or any other insight on the entry. An example sentence they use for Wingdings is "I EAT BUGS EVERY DAY," so uhhh maybe that's a clue that he's a bug eater? (I'm joking...) -"Asriel Dreemurr" being an anagram of "Serial Murderer" is confirmed to be intentional by Toby. -Toby notes how the "But it refused" line has two meanings: One, that it can mean "refused to die," secondly, that it can mean "'re-fused', referring to how the heart fragments fuse back together again." It's another thing that's been noted by some people, but a neat detail regardless!

Alright, that's what I've got...! There's a lot of other stuff, like how dialogue that was referencing other games was handled, (which is a LOT), but these notes are what I found the most personally interesting and relevant to Undertale.

#undertale #undertale analysis #? sort of #legends of localization #undertale legends of localization #perhaps not the most refined post i've ever written but anyhow #hoho! undertale! #gaster #somewhat #nomakuposts

[bigalockwood]

August and Rousseau

I’ve outed myself as the #resident horse expert (thanks @youngroyalsconfession for the title I’m genuinely elated bc I��ve never gotten my own online moniker lmao) and I think it’s time that I contributed some more unasked for and useless horse knowledge to the YR discussion. This has been sitting in my drafts for ages and since I don’t see myself finding any time to research this further in the next few weeks, I thought I might as well post it before season 3 drops. Plenty of posts have been made about how the August-Rousseau situation could play out, and I don’t want to talk about those theories today, because I have anything to add right now.

As has been pointed out many times, horses are expensive, at least in western, industrialized countries. They used to be a necessity for most people, because they were a mode of transport, used to harvest food etc. This is still true in many parts of the world, but not Western and Northern Europe. There, horses have become a luxury, and are usually notoriously expensive, especially if you can’t keep them on your own grounds and produce your own hay. And even then- vet bills are painful to look at, and there are plenty of other costs, too. So, August most definitely won’t be able to pay for the monthly expenses that come with having a horse, at least not if he gets no financial aid by the court or doesn’t sell some of his assets. And even then, I’m not sure what they would say when they learn that they are financing a horse of all things (especially since August has zero interest in or knowledge of horses). In the following you can find a rough overview of just how expensive owning a horse is. Keep in mind, these numbers are generalized. I’m not from Sweden, but another European country, and even if I were, prices fluctuate a lot depending on the success of harvest, proximity to large cities, services offered by the stable, etc.… But maybe it can give those of you less familiar with horses a better idea of just how fucked August actually is.

Stable: this variable is already very hard to judge. You can find fairly cheap barns, but you usually have to do at least part of the work yourself, too (just imagine August mucking out Rousseau’s stall lmao). Feed is often included in the price, doesn’t cover any special needs, though (hay is included, but anything else you have to buy yourself). However, Hillerska is a prestigious school. They have a groom (our beloved Marcus) to take care of everything the owners don’t want to do (mucking out, feeding, taking horses out to the pastures and then back inside). You can find yourself with anywhere between 200- 600 Euros per month, depending on the services offered. Knowing what we do about Hillerska, you can expect the cost to be at the higher end.

The farrier should come every six to eight weeks and, again, costs depend on what work needs to be done. It can be anywhere between 50 Euro (bare hoof, only need to be trimmed) to close to 200 Euro (horse shoes for all four hooves). As long as Rousseau isn’t being exercised he’ll most likely only need a trim. 

Insurance depends greatly on your horse and its value (it’s hinted that he is valuable in the show) but generally costs between 50 to 150 Euro per month where I’m from.

Vet costs (assuming your horse is healthy and you only need to get the recommended vaccinations and check-up’s as well as anthelmintics) will usually be around 400 Euros a year and can go way up, depending on whether your horse has any special needs. Rousseau seems to be healthy, so we’ll assume he only needs the bare minimum.

Based on what he definitely needs to buy/pay for, the annual cost would be somewhere between 3400 and 12.400 Euro. Which is a super rough estimate and doesn’t even cover any extra expenses (Rousseau most certainly doesn’t only eat hay but also other feed specifically for sport horses). A horse can easily cost up to 21.400 Euro per year. August saves some money because he doesn’t take any training sessions and thus doesn’t need to pay for a trainer. He could also lend Rousseau to the school and let other students ride him; a deal like that would reduce how much he needs to pay for the monthly care of Rousseau.

But either way: August has to pay between 295 and 1800 Euro per month. If he wasn’t struggling financially, he probably wouldn’t even notice such a “small” expense. As it is, he can’t even pay his own tuition. There’s no way he’ll be able to pay for a horse.

(Would also like to, again, state that this is extremely generalized; I just wanted to highlight how much a horse usually costs).

#young royals #august horn #rousseau #yr #young royals analysis #sorry for this weirdly specific niche topic? #talking shit for the hell of it

[bonny-kookoo]

hii bonny 🤍

i‘m also very curious about what happened in crossroads can you maybe still post what is in your drafts 🥺

This is a random scene from my notes on my phone, set somewhere (I think? It's been a long time since I wrote those notes..) after his (failed) tattoo appointment. It was unfinished, so I cut off the last part of it that was a little scrambled and ended in an open sentence haha.

Only a warning for angst, being drunk and smoking. That's it.

It's not hard to realize that he's not the same person you used to go out with years ago- if not just by the way he visually changed, but also internally.

Still- if you had the ability to open up his chest and repair all the damage done to his back then soft heart, you'd do it in a beat of your very own with no questions asked. Then again, maybe you shouldn't- maybe you should just leave him alone just like you were told to years back. Did it do any good?

Did he grow up well? Are his piercings and tattoos his choice, or were they just a decision of rebellion against his parents after you left?

Had you already fucked him up too much to have someone save him?

"Hey- oh, you're cold." He notices the second his warm hand finds your rather cooled down, naked skin fleetingly, before he sits down next to you on the large rock in Taehyung's backyard. The music is still booming inside the house, and everyone's clearly conversing and having fun- so why is Jungkook out here with you of all people?

Especially after avoiding you like the plague?

"It's fine." You say, pulling your knees up to your chest, heels of your shoes scraping a bit before they find hold on an edge. He runs his fingers through your hair, his cheeks a bit reddened and nose shiny from the alcohol he still holds in his hand, before he sets down the beer bottle into the grass in front of him. "I get a headache from the loud music." You mumble, looking at a frog jumping into a bush. Taehyung fails to really maintain a proper garden- everything's wild and untamed back here, and you actually like the sight.

"I swear he keeps turning it louder every song." Jungkook chuckles, clearing his throat before he pulls out a slightly crumpled pack of cigarettes- offering you one that you take rather reluctantly. You're not sure when he started to smoke- but you won't question it either, just as much as he doesn't question if you still smoke or not, apparently. "I won't stay much longer. They're getting too wasted for my taste.." He mumbles to himself, before he lights his cigarette- holding out the lighter to you. "Taehyung keeps kissing people on the cheek."

"Well, you're pretty bad already too." You sigh, lighting your own for yourself before you give it back to him-

noticing the pink glued yarn on it, right before he snatches it back to put it into the small cardboard box he stuffs in the front pocket of his blue sweater.

Does he know that he still keeps something of you with himself?

Or did he forget that it was yours years back?

"Not really, no." Jungkook laughs, though he does rub his eyes a little, and it stings because his timing to your thoughts couldn't be anymore painful. "Really. Why do you think I'm drunk?" He accuses with a slightly playful hint in his tone that you don't feel fits the moment.

"Cause you're out here with me." You simply tell him, avoiding eye contact because he's been avoiding you the entire night until now.

"Hm, you have a point." He shrugs, taking a long drag of the cigarette between his fingers before he continues. "I can't handle you when my brain works, I guess." He laughs, and you just silently smoke next to him, watching the ash from it fly off with red sparks every time you flick it off. "I wanna ask you why you left." He says, lowly, seriously, and now you start to feel the cold too.

Or maybe it's just him.

"But I'm not drunk enough to do that." He chuckles, leaning back a little, moving his neck until it cracks- a habit he still has.

"Is that why you're here now?" You ask quietly, worried about his answer, somewhat- but at the same time, you're already scolding yourself for not letting it go. "So I tell you without you having to ask?" You continue nevertheless, brain too fogged up from the amount of alcohol to really sustain the ability to think thoughts quietly it seems like.

"No." He shakes his head, before he huffs out a long drag of smoke. "I just wanna.. pretend? Remember? Fuck." He laughs to himself, face in his hands for a good moment, cigarette burning on it's own tucked between to fingers.

It takes you a moment to realize he's probably crying. Or trying not to. You can't tell.

"Can't you at least say sorry?" He suddenly says, and once his hands are gone from his face, you can finally spot all the lights from the inside of the house behind you reflect in his glassy eyes like they're mirrored. His tears don't fall until he blinks-

then they're gone again, the lights and the tears, frustration replacing all of it, shaking you awake especially when you realize he's looking right at you.

"I can't." You tell him, bottom lip quivering as you keep it together the best you can. "I can... only say sorry for not being able to say sorry." You laugh, and he shakes his head.

"So you just.. left, fucked me over, and you don't regret that at all?" He argues so softly it hurts. It would feel a lot better if he yelled at you- because you can deal with anger, with resentment and all of that, you grew up with it, it's normal-

this isn't. You don't know what to do.

"Never said I didn't regret it." You deny, killing the burning cigarette bud by scratching it over the rock you're sitting on. "...I just can't say sorry for something I.. didn't do." You deny, and at that, he looks at you standing up, hugging yourself, before your heels sink into the soft ground, making you trip-

and him get up too quickly as he stumbles just as much, almost falling into the bushes with you if it wasn't for the flimsy fence your back hits instead, his hands on either side of you, face right next to yours.

"What did they do to you?" He asks, and you want to scream, yell, call police or whatever just to get out of it-

because you can handle him hating you. You're okay with him using you as the villain and reason he ended up mending his relationship with his parents. You can handle being the breaking point of the young Jungkook who finally woke up and realized that his parents and home had always been trying to help him. You can handle that.

But you can't handle tearing all of that apart. Not because he doesn't deserve the truth, but because you won't get a happily ever after anyways.

"They had something to do with it." He keeps going, only slowly giving you space again, and suddenly you want him close again, just so you don't have to look at him. "I know they did-"

"Jungkook-" You start, when you hear the door of the house opening, glass door swinging open, some people laughing as they walk out as well, shattering whatever moment just transpired between you both as you slip right underneath his arm. "I should get home now." You tell him with a tight-lipped somewhat smile, but his face is dangerous.

"Hoseok drives you home, right?" He asks, and you nod, unsure. "Cool." He says, completely catching you off guard as he walks past you. "I'll tell him you wanna go. I'll just go and say bye to Taehyung." He says, making you look after him confused, before you realize.

Hoseok mentioned he'd drop someone off on the way to your place.

And apparently you now know who that someone might be.

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook imagine #bts jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook imagines #jungkook x you #jungkook fanfic #jungkook angst #bts jungkook fanfic #bts jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader #bts jeon jungkook imagine

[jinkookspencil]

maple story and syrup mornings | ksj

a morning with your fiancé, the week he's finally home for good after two long years

tags: jin x reader (f) / ~2.5k words / fluff / slightly suggestive / established relationship, they're engaged! / slice of life / banter! / idol!jin but all it has is mentions of hybe, namjoon, jin returning from the military, a mention of his promise to live stream for army the day he comes back - nothing about "idol life" and it isn't mentioned if yn is an idol or not / also includes: naked seokjin, mentions of his new bulked up physique, swear words, mention of yn gaining weight in the past and that she had been nervous to have sex with jin but it's just a mention, she's pretty confident and happy here :)

note: this was originally supposed to be a very short drabble of only a few hundred words, but.... i got carried away :3 i might post the original one day / i can't believe this is my first jin fic in a while, so many just stay in the drafts and he's always on my mind. i actually have a couple i thought i posted but they're sitting there waiting to be uploaded!!! this can basically be considered a jin version of comfortable, bare, and hungry. i miss jin so much, i'm at a low place rn and thinking of him is bringing me so much comfort. imagining this made me smile when i first thought of it so i hope it does the same for you!! i hope you guys enjoy!! as always, feedback is always welcome! <3

It’d only been a week, but you’d already gotten used to waking up next to Jin again, as you always had. The empty space beside you shook you to your core for half a second as your half-asleep and delirious self feared the worst - that he’d still been in service - and that the past few days were, in fact, a dream. But the faint, familiar sound of his favorite video game, coming from somewhere in your reality, brought you back. He was home.

It’s only when you crawl out of the covers that you realize that you’d still been naked and sweaty from the night before, even aching all over as a result of the hours of passionate lovemaking after so long apart, as well as Jin’s new, bulked up physique. Both the regular sex and his new body would take long to readjust to, especially considering neither of you could keep your hands off of each other, forgetting you weren’t still running on limited time instead of just another day in the rest of your lives together. It brought you comfort to see that, even after spending so much time away from home, Jin was just as he always was and definitely still the man you were more than ready to marry.... even with his typical hobby of gaming, hours before the sun had fully risen. It didn’t make too much of a difference if it happened before or after sleep. Awake too early and still on military time, Jin’s already-enthusiastic gaming commentary was loud and clear, and you listened closely and happily as you slipped into a silky pink pyjama set - one of the many new lingerie and nightwear sets you’d been too naked to wear the past few days...

The early dawn light crept through from below the curtains, lighting the way as you make your way to the living room where your fiancee crouched in the dark facing the television with the controller in his hands and, unmistakably, the same damn sweatsuit he’d been wearing for seven days straight.

“You’re up!” he exclaims before biting his lip for a moment and once again facing the screen in concentration. “My pretty girl. Just a turn, a second,  and… BAH! Okay, I can pause this for a moment. How are you, my love?”

“Jin…. you need to stop wearing Namjoon’s clothes.”

The day he was discharged from the military, Jin had gone straight to Hybe and livestreamed a prepared special celebration for ARMYs on the group’s eleventh anniversary, as he’d promised, before finally returning home to you in clothes that weren’t his own.

“What are you wearing?” you asked him the next morning over breakfast, only realizing his outfit when he re-wore it then... considering you discarded his clothes with close to superhuman speed the second he got home the day before.

“Namjoonie’s clothes. I, uh… didn’t fit into the clothes the stylist prepared for me, so they just gave me this set. It was the only thing left at Hybe that fit him right before he enlisted, considering he'd been bulking up for so long then, too. Nothing in my closet fits either, so….”

Your fiancee had gone red at his explanation, and first vocal admission that he’d obviously gotten much, much bigger while he'd been in service…. He'd always denied it and acted more humble than he should, so you showed him just how much you loved it by taking the clothes off of him in an instant yet again, and spent many, many hours together. The sight and feel of his new body were incredible, to say the least.... but it's been days, and he really didn’t have anything else to wear.

“We already bought new clothes online! It’s not my fault they haven’t arrived yet!” he protests. “And the rest of Namjoon's clothes at Hybe are too small for me - wow, I never thought I'd say that. I can still kinda smell his cologne on it, which is nice, considering how much I miss him, you know?”

“I know, Jin. I can smell it too! And considering you’d been away for so long, I’d rather my fiancée smell like himself instead of his best friend.” You cross your arms over your chest, stepping towards Jin and bending down to bring your face up against the fabric. Not bad, but not your man. A wince was clearly on your face, followed by a pout to match the one on his.

“Honey, I bet you could fit into one of my t-shirts or sweaters and smell like me, the love of your life, instead,” you snark, wondering if he’d ever missed you and your scent all the time you’d been away from one another.

“My love… I tried. Nothing… nothing fits. Besides,” Jin shakes his head, standing up and towering above you before nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck. “I’m devouring you as much as I can.”

Jin's kisses brought you immense pleasure... but the smell was all too distracting. “I love you, honey, but I'm starting to get jealous of you and Namjoon’s shared boyfriend sweater…. Plus, it's beginning to reek.”

Jin wastes no time pulling the sweater off his torso, chucking it somewhere behind you. “Problem solved.”

Your hand quickly finds his nape, pulling at his hair there and almost losing yourself to his touch once again. “Jin… baby, let's shower."

"Mmm," he quietly grumbles against your skin. "I already did, boo, sorry."

"I told you I was looking forward to shower sex with you, Jin!" you protest, pulling away and pouting.

"I'm sorry, my love! I just got so used to working out and showering first thing... Next time," he smiles, pulling your head towards his chest. Feeling his buff chest against your head, you suddenly have no complaints if you had to wait a little longer... it might be nice that Jin is trying to maintain this physique.

"Tell you what," he says, pulling away. "You go shower and, since this is bothering you so much, I'll get the laundry going and throw Namjoon's clothes in. Not only that, I'll make breakfast too. Our signature choco-chip and banana pancakes. How does that sound?"

"Sounds good," you say, smiling and rolling your eyes as you give in.

"Go," he laughs, slapping your ass when you finally pull away.

-

"Honey, is that you? Breakfast's ready!" you hear him call.

Done with your shower and haircare, you forego your pyjamas or any other item of clothing, merely wrapping yourself up in a silk robe. Jin had looked too delectable already - you'd be naked with him again in no time.

You didn't expect it to be this soon.

Walking into the living room, you find your fiance, once again, crouched in front of the television and playing his game intently... naked.

"Oh, hey gorgeous," he says upon looking at you. "Let’s eat.”

“Jin.... fucking hell, why are you naked?!" you yelp, taking in the way the streaming sunlight highlighted his body.

"What?" he yelps. "I told you I don't have any other clothes! Let's eat, honey - I'm starving."

"I'm starving too! And I will not be able to eat if you're naked."

“What? A man can’t be naked in his own home?” Jin questions, genuinely confused.

"Not if he's you, looking like that!"

"Honey, I was just as naked hours ago in bed with you. We were both naked right there in the kitchen after lunch yesterday."

"And that was the last time we ate, Jin! Go wear… something. Let’s eat something besides each other, please I'm fucking starving, and you look like a whole ass feast. Jin your...," you stop, licking your salivating lips and proving your point. "There's one thing I want in my mouth right now."

“Baby,” he laughs with a flushed face, almost choking on the bite he’d taken of the banana that had adorned the dish. “I can’t be dressed, and I can’t be naked? Those are a person’s only two options! You’ve seen and felt… all of this…so many times. It’ll likely happen again very soon, and nothing fits! Can’t I just-”

“Are you hungry? Or can we fuck?” you interrupt him angrily, unwrapping your robe and letting it fall to the floor.

“Oh,” Jin moans, melting at the sight of you. “Oh, let me eat you out - that’ll fulfill me.”

“And what about me?” you say with raised brows and a hand on his chest when he wraps his arm around you.

“There’s sixt-“

Before Jin can finish, a loud rumble echoes from his abdomen. Your stomach lets out a similar noise in turn. 

“I’ll get dressed. We’re fucking later.”

“Good. Go." you teasingly push Jin away from you, catching the smile on his face as he reluctantly walks away and towards the bedroom... where he stays for far longer than expected.

“Seokjin-ah?” you call out from the kitchen, dressed in your robe again. “You okay?”

“Don’t you dare laugh.”

The door to your bedroom swings open, and Jin stands by the doorway in a floral skirt of yours paired with one of his regular old Disney t-shirts, so snug on his body like a Y2K babydoll tee and cropped right across his abs.

It was impossible to fulfill Jin's command, and you howl right on cue.

"No. No, you do not get to laugh. You said I had to change. I told you barely anything fits," he says, walking straight up to the dining table while holding back a smile behind his pout, and he finally lets it appear on his face when you inadvertently let out a snort. "Let’s just eat, you dorky, beautiful brat."

The cutlery clangs as you and Jin eat from the same plate, your preferred toppings messily intermixing around the plate. The pancakes were as good as you expected them to be, but it didn’t quite fulfill your appetite. Judging by Seokjin’s silence as he ate, you wondered if the same could be said for him. It was hard to savor any bite you'd taken, as it was just as hard to push away the thought that though he sure looked goofy in his mismatched, oddly fitting clothes... the Kim Seokjin magic was too damn real. With his growing hair sticking to his forehead, abs peeking beneath the shirt, and concentrated expression... he looked delectable as he licked off the fork in his hands. His plump lips are covered in chocolate.... and all you want to do is lick and kiss it off.

“What do you want to do today, Jin?” You'd asked him this question every day, checking in to see if he ever wanted to see anyone else or do anything different. Besides a quick family reunion, he hadn't left the apartment. After years of living on borrowed time, the lifetime you had in front of you together as husband and wife suddenly felt too short. You remember selfishly hoping to spend almost every waking minute with the love of your life while knowing his hobbies, friends, and commitments... and here he stayed.

“Today? Well, I worked out and showered already - might repeat that this evening for your sake, princess. I'll game. Watch a movie with you later? One of the ones I missed in cinemas while in the service. Dinner. You know... I want to do 'at-home-with-my-future-wife things' and continue this domestic bliss.. forever...” he says, finally looking at you. “Is that okay? Anything you want to do?”

“You,” you smirk, and Jin almost chokes on the bite he’d taken. You’d resisted licking that glimpse of his abs all throughout the meal. No more. "I'm disappointed not to hear the same on your list."

"Honey, sex and kisses were a given, but... even now?" he giggles, pointing to the clothes he had on.

"Even now, Mr. Worldwide Handsome.... This is unforgettable, hilarious and still adorable.... but you probably could've just stayed naked."

“I told you. Come here, baby,” he finally chuckles, and you listen, taking the two necessary baby steps to get to him and quickly help take off the clothes he had on. Ignoring the returning ache in your legs in the process, you straddle his naked body on the chair and loosen your robe to give him a full view of your chest and stomach before placing the plate between your two bodies, taking turns feeding one another the final bites of breakfast. 

When the plate is empty save for the disgustingly sweet combination of all your toppings, Jin calls your name to ensure he has your attention as he dips his three fingers into the untouched, decorative mountain of whipped cream before licking it off in one fell swoop, his eyes staring into yours all the way through. Quickly, you wrap your arms around his neck and finally begin to nibble at Jin's chocolatey lips, guiding his hand to your breast while the other is at the small of your back. The forgotten plate between you loses its balance and drops of the syrupy liquid make their way onto your thighs. Jin jerks as you, and he's quick to set the plate back on the table and wipe away the syrup. Though simple, the action makes your legs twitch, and the ache returns.

“Honey… Does it still hurt? I caught you limping." Jin quickly licks his finger clean before gently grazing your thighs as he begins thinking aloud. "If it hurts... should we start taking it easy? I want you, but if you're in pain... Maybe I should skip my morning workouts. If it’s making me rougher-”

You interrupt Jin with a kiss, tugging at his lower lip hard when he tries to pull away.

“Mmm, ow,” he mumbles.

“Want me to stop doing that?”

“Fuck no,” he says, licking his lips. "But it's different, I-"

“It'll just take getting used to, is all," you say, grazing Jin's chest.

"Do you remember what you told me when I gained weight? And I was scared to have sex with you? You told me that if I hurt you, you'd tell me. And you told me you loved my body no matter how it looked like. That's still true, right?"

You confidently ask the question with Jin's head in your hands, knowing the answer.

"Of course, my love. What are you saying?"

"The same goes for you, honey. Don't keep up or get rid of this physique for my benefit. If you want to skip your workouts, skip it. If you want to keep it up, that's fine too. If it hurts too much, if you’re too rough, I’ll tell you… And we keep promises in this relationship, right?"

Jin nods, his gaze fixated on your lips.

"As you said, we can always find another way, too,” you whisper, brushing the hair away from his forehead to place a kiss upon it and pushing your body closer to his. Feeling his length harden underneath you, you kiss him on the lips once more and undo your robe entirely, letting the silk fall down your back and rest bunched up over his thighs. Jin takes in the sight before quickly discarding the silky garment.

“Oh, my love,” he exhales with a tightening grip on your hips. “I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you... just like this."

#jin fluff #jin fic #jin fanfiction #jin scenario #jin scenarios #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts fluff #bts scenario #bts scenarios #seokjin fanfic #seokjin fic #seokjin fluff #seokjin imagine #seokjin scenario #seokjin scenarios #jin x you #jin x reader #kim seokjin x you #kim seokjin x reader #kim seokjin fanfiction #kim seokjin fanfic #seokjin x reader #jin x y/n #seokjin x you #seokjin #jin oneshot #jin one shot #seokjin oneshot

[bunitivity]

I really REALLY need to tell you my hc that Luffy and Usopp sleep in the same bed 98.37% of the time. They are EXTREMELY hard to seperate.

When Usopp first joins the strawhats along with Merry, the boys have to make do with what they have. And that includes taking turns sleeping in the hammocks. Now I'm going to reference that pic where Luffy is hanging down on Usopp's body from his hammock. Also the one where Zoro and Sanji sleep on the floor face to face. That one. One time Luffy actually falls into Usopp's hammock but neither of them realize it and in the morning the sniper might have hit his head when falling on the floor from the sudden surprise. But then it became a usual thing and both of them were becoming closer friends so eventually Usopp just proposed them sleeping together since they're gonna end up like that in the end. Of course the more they travelled, they got bunks for comfort, because sleeping on the floor/couch got annoying.

Then Water 7 happens and Usopp is devastated. He really wants to go back to them snuggling but he feels like if he offers it right after what happened to them it would feel like he didn't feel sorry at all, which is not true. And besides, Sunny has all the comfort you could ever want, so no more "well, if you're gonna slip into my bunk anyways, why not just share it from the start" excuse.

However, Luffy's thought process is a little different. He gets a little confused as to why Usopp still hasn't invited him over. Well, the sniper apologized, they had an emotional reunion, spent the rest of the day together and now they won't even snuggle like they did before? Something's gotta be up.

So as soon as Luffy makes his decision, he "slips" into Usopp's bunk and hugged the shit out of the sniper, making sure he wasn't going anywhere. Usopp let him stay. He wanted to anyways.

So since then, their habit of sharing one bed and cuddling was fully established. Oh boy, I sure hope they don't get seperated again only for a longer period of time.

No listen you literally read my mind! I’ve literally been thinking about this idea nonstop I’ve it written in my draft somewhere. Still think about that moment post dressrosa where usopp just goes to sleep right on top of luffy and no one bats an eye lol(really tried to find a pic of it but it isn’t in my tag ://) it was just business as usual for everyone but there’s no way that’s the first time that’s happened. They definitely sleep together all the time. It’s just second nature to them to just curl around each other and fall asleep.

And oh w7 ;-; the most devastating arc my beloved <3 neither of them sleeps during their separation(i dont actually have long they were apart but I’m pretty sure it was just one night considering how fast paced one piece is but it was a very looong night either way with Usopp staying up working on the merry while luffy just tossing and turning until he just ends up staring out over that rooftop where nami finds him the following morning telling her he was looking out for robin but really he was just looking out the sea to where the merry was docked🥲)

and ofc luffy would be the one to push past the awkwardness because once usopp apologized that was it he had already forgiving him the moment he saw usopp on that bridge screaming at him to keep fighting(still think about how ready luffy was to bring him to the crew immediately post ennies lobby until zoro knocked some sense into him lol) there was no way he was going another sleepless night without him

#sorry for rambling it’s just #I’ve so many thoughts about lusopp and w7 best arc lol #love interpersonal conflict wish there was more that wasn’t just zoro and sanjis pissing contest #lusopp #asks #thank you for sending this! #love talking to ppl but I also get so anxious about dm ppl bc I can’t hold a conversation to save my life lol #hcs asks

[altschmerzes]

Can’t wait for your two aces story. Any updates you want to/can share??

i'd LOVE to talk about the two aces fic at literally any point. it's so dear to my heart, i love it. at the moment i'm making good progress trekking through it and contemplating if i want to leave it as a oneshot or if i want to split it into chapters bc it's already close to 6k and i've just got a few scenes done and some drafting for some others! it's gonna be pretty long lmao, which is the story of my life. not gonna be HUGE like some of my fics end up being but it's gonna be long enough and have enough distinct beats that i'm thinking about splitting it.

we've got the initial presentation of the situation, jamie and dani getting used to living together and finding a new status quo in that bc of their injuries and how to help each other with the things they can't do (for example the initial moment where they decide to sleep in the same bed is related to dani's shoulder injury and the way he keeps rolling onto it in the night), exploration of their relationship getting deeper and getting into the big things they're afraid of that are holding them back from being physically/emotionally vulnerable with each other (they both have a Big Fear that's causing them trouble here), and then the realization that because of their healing progression they can go back to normal soon and deciding that like. actually we don't want this to go back to normal, we want to stay like this, we want to be each other's Person and have this relationship be A Relationship (nonromantic) intentionally. so there's some different beats, and might be worth splitting?

idk. sorry i'm just thinking out loud in answer to this ask now i hope this is interesting slkdfjs

here's a clip from it, too! it's from very early on, i've posted a few lines from it but it's a bit of a longer scene. dani's phone charger got stuck behind his bed and he can't reach it bc his shoulder is all messed up so jamie's going to get it while dani's making breakfast in the kitchen, this is before they're living together

Jamie has just managed to close his hand around the distant and illusive cord of the charger and is scooting back along the mattress in his awkward shuffle around the awkward bulk of his twice-braced leg when he hears a loud crash and a sharp curse from the kitchen. Instantly, before he’s even fully processed what he’s heard, his body goes rigid. His heart leaps into his throat and his shoulders and the back of his neck seize up so tight they ache immediately. Sudden, loud sounds in homes have never meant anything good for him. It’s only once the initial panic, the kind that says run, run, find somewhere to hide, be quiet and still and get as close as you can get to disappearing, has been hushed and dismissed and reminded that it’s an outdated and unnecessary instinct that another, different kind of panic takes over. Dani, Jamie thinks, and his heart lurches all over again. This is a new sort of fear, hot and trembling, like there’s a little bird in his chest beating its wings frantically, trying to get out. Oh fuck, Dani. Getting up off the bed is difficult and cumbersome but Jamie goes as quick as he can with the use of only one leg. He fumbles for his crutches and leans on them too heavily when he stands, but he doesn’t care that it hurts a bit. The ache of the way the padded tops dig uncomfortably under his arms and how the plastic of the handholds are an odd, wrong shape are far from Jamie’s mind as he hobbles towards the kitchen, going so quickly that he could probably win some kind of guys-on-crutches race if such a thing existed. “Dani,” he calls as he goes, and then, louder, “Dani, man, y’alright? What happened?” “Yes, Jamie, fine,” is the slightly delayed answer, delivered moments before Jamie rounds the corner and comes into sight of the kitchen. The first thing that Jamie notices is the floor. It’s made of a light, slate grey tile pattern that he thinks is neat, studded through with the odd yellow or silvery tile. The effect is cool and modern with a touch of brightness and fun, but at the moment the whole thing is rather ruined by the way there’s a scattering of broken class and blueberries disrupting the pattern. In the soft, warm glow of the overhead lights, the glass glitters and the blueberries shine like tokens to be collected in a video game. The round metal lid of what had once been some kind of jar glints innocently by the sink. (Dani had put in the new, gently toned lights recently, swapped the bulbs a few weeks before the season started. He’d done it after he noticed Jamie kept squinting and wincing under the harsher white light every time he was in Dani’s kitchen. He’d gone and replaced all of them, even though Jamie had insisted it was fine, it was dumb to change things in Dani’s house just because he had a weird problem about lights. Dani had looked at him like Jamie was the dumb one and shook his head and told him they are just lightbulbs, Jamie, and that had been the end of it.) And then, in the middle of it all, the glass and the blueberries and the tile floor and the lovely lights, there’s Dani. He’s standing by the counter, leaning back against it with his good arm, and there’s just enough time for Jamie to catch a glimpse of the intense frustration creasing his face before he looks up and over and it’s wiped away. All that’s left behind is a smile. It’s a good smile, it looks good, happy and friendly like Dani’s smiles do, but there’s something about it that makes Jamie feel uneasy. Well, no. Not uneasy. That word is too… That’s not right. It’s hard to imagine anything that Dani could do with his face that would make Jamie feel truly uneasy. Concerned, then. Concerned is the right word. “Sorry,” Dani says with an apologetic shrug of his left shoulder. “My hand slipped and I dropped the jar.”

#long post #gav gab #gav answers #fic: loneliness into loneliness #augh queerplatonic two aces fic my beloved- #once more fucking hilarious a bunch of people i don't know are liking and rb'ing a post i made abt it #clearly assuming i am referring to Fic About Two Asexual Characters #when this fic is about an allo character and an aroallo character lmaoooo

[perhaps-in-anotherdream]

[CN] Victor x MC – S2 CH 41 - CH 44 (Eng Translation - Part 1)

“The surrounding clusters of flames emit a bright glow, and the slowly rising lanterns encircle the man. It seems as if he is a god descending from the heavens.”

⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for a chapter that is yet to be released on the global server. ⌚

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

—

[Disclaimer]: I’m actually going to subtitle the Victor parts for this update, so I won’t give myself double torture by adding sprites here LOL. this is more for keeping a transcript version, and adding the screaming at the end lmao 💕

—

【CH 41-1, Victor part】

The gears of the world rotate silently, propelling mottled time forward, ultimately toward a completely detached direction.

The black vortex contorts as if, with just an attempt to peep, one would be sucked into an abyss from which there is ever no return.

??: It’s indeed difficult to impose restrictions on the abilities of a powerful Space-Time Evolver.

??: You are indeed extraordinary to have persisted up to this point. It’s only appropriate to commend you for your abilities.

Victor turns his head and looks at the little boy who has appeared alongside the black hole. The boy is attired in a gentleman’s hat and a mismatched style of shirt and casual shorts.

Little Boy: Although someone helped you before, you must know that you won’t be able to cheat this time.

Victor has a vague feeling that he has seen this strange little boy somewhere before, but he doesn’t dwell on it as it doesn’t seem to matter.

He roughly has an idea of what the other party’s presence here right now means.

Every demand comes with its own price – this is a truth he understands better than anyone else.

Little Boy: Don’t try to secretly do anything. I can see everything~

It’s as if the young boy could see through his innermost thoughts with a single glance. He places a finger on his lips and speaks in a naïve tone that carries an unusual sense of composure for his age.

The black vortex expands, encompassing the entire space in silent and lifeless darkness. At this moment, the sound of a mechanical violin begins to play slowly.

A distorted space abruptly opens, revealing a crack from which a pair of black leather shoes emerges.

The little boy tilts his head and raises the tail note of his voice with a sense of intrigue.

Little Boy: Are you the Time Observer?

Zero: I would like to discuss a particular condition with you.

—

MC is back at the office, and after exchanging pleasantries with everyone, she heads back to her respective work:

After filtering through a variety of content, I draft a few program topics and want to discuss them with Victor.

As soon as I turn on my phone, I find that he has already sent me a text message.

Victor’s Text: “I’m currently in France. If you have any new proposal ideas, send them to me via email.”

How come he suddenly went to France?

A little puzzled, I type a line in the chat box - “Are you on a business trip?” But I delete the previous text after thinking for a moment and press the keys again.

MC’s Text: “I’m waiting for your return!”

MC’s Text: “Sent the new proposal ideas to your mailbox. CEO Victor, please have a look at them~”

MC [to herself]: Let’s add another cute emoji… perfect!

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

—

【CH 43-13, Victor part】

The sky has just begun to clear up, but there is still a dampness lingering in the air of Paris.

As the wind brushes through the leaves and branches of the surrounding Sycamore trees, it makes a rustling sound that accompanies a faraway sigh, creating the reminiscence of a silent requiem.

The person in his memory used to really like this kind of weather.

Victor quietly withdraws his gaze, lowers his head, and lays down a bouquet of pure white flowers as he looks at the tombstone before him.

Looking at the cold yet familiar name on the marble, he seems to once again see the figure of that person who once took him by the hand and guided him to the window, showing him the birds seeking shelter from the rain under the eaves.

The past scenes are akin to feathers, gradually scattering in the shifting rainy season of a foreign land.

Victor closes his eyes and gently rests his forehead against the tombstone.

The Adam’s apple under his collar quivers for a moment. After a prolonged silence, he finally speaks in a soft voice.

Victor: [shredded my heart into a million pieces]  I’m leaving.

Victor: [x2]  But I will take care of everything beforehand… don’t worry.

As he speaks, his fingertips linger on the cold marble for a long, long time. It seems as if he wants to leave something behind, yet also wants to remember something for himself.

The evening breeze of the late spring brushes over the hair on his forehead, reminiscent of that hand that once gently fell on his head, accompanied by lullabies.

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

—

【CH 44-1】

At MC’s office–

MC is sorting out the materials for her proposal related to the “memory overlap,” and the entire situation, including the public opinion and commotion, is much more under control than before.

—

MC: I knew I should have come and sorted this out last night…

Sighing, I shake the document in my hand. When I subconsciously glance at my phone to check the time, a text message pops up on the screen just at that time.

“Don’t forget that you have to report in a moment.” The sender is Victor.

The conciseness of the content is infused with the familiar flavor, and I can’t help but curl up the corners of my lips.

Victor’s overseas business trip this time has not been a short one. And although we have contacted each other via texts, there are many words that simply cannot be conveyed through words.

After knowing that he would return last night, I immediately scheduled an appointment with CEO Victor, intending to do the so-called “work report.”

I quickly press the keys on the keyboard, typing out a reply:

MC’s Text: “I certainly haven’t forgotten. I have already sorted everything out!”

Victor’s Text: “I’m afraid if a certain someone hasn’t set off yet, she will be late again.”

I feel as if I can see the teasing expression Victor is wearing right now through the screen, causing my hands to accelerate involuntarily.

Just as I’m nearly finished organizing the documents and am about to get up, Anna comes over with a bundled proposal and hands it to me.

Anna: MC, there’s a proposal that you urgently need to go through. It’s about the redevelopment of Loveland City.

MC: Okay… Meng Chang? Why do I feel like I’ve heard that name somewhere before…

I thumb through the papers in my hands, my gaze falling on the compressed letters.

“Since assuming office, Mr. Meng Chang has made outstanding contributions and has significantly elevated the Evolvers’ social status.”

“This time, he is in charge of the Loveland City redevelopment project, and we are confident that he will be able to acquire even more remarkable achievements.”

The document also contains detailed notes on Meng Chang’s relationships with important figures and the key points for asking him questions. Rather than a proposal, it’s better to say that this is a publicity release.

Anna: This is the material provided by the City Hall, and in two days, there will be a press conference to mark his inauguration.

Anna: The company’s staff is still working on the past memories overlap project. So, I have no choice but to trouble you, the Boss, to make the trip personally.

I nod, thinking about how the main focus of my recent efforts has been on dealing with memory overlap, and the company has also been awfully occupied.

MC: No problem. The press conference will cover our association with the City Hall, and I’ll follow up. You guys have been working hard recently.

MC: Once we are done with the matters at hand, you all should take some time off.

Anna: Speaking of, aren’t you the one who should be taking a break the most?

Anna: Watching you running in and out with dark circles under your eyes every day, we are worried about you.

MC: It’s alright. I’ll find an opportunity to rest later.

Anna: Well, that’s just as well, I have something for you.

Anna suddenly comes up to me and places two tickets in my hand.

The huge Kongming lantern on the ticket enters my line of sight, and the words “Lantern Festival” are written in Chinese calligraphy.

–

[Tidbits]: The person encouraging MC to “go out with someone” to the Lantern Festival in “Victor’s Lantern Date” was also Anna~ 🥺💕

–

MC: Are there any festivals recently? How come there’s a lantern festival?

Anna: It’s a promotional event for the redevelopment project, and the City Hall sent out the invitations a few days ago. I put aside two for you.

Anna: When the time comes, remember to go out and relax~

MC: Thank you, Anna~

MC: I’m going to LFG to submit a report now. Is there anything else going on at the office?

Anna: Anything else…

Anna: Speaking of, something curious did happen. There is a guy in the finance department who hasn’t come to work for over a week.

Anna: We were concerned, so we informed to police to go to his house, but no one ever answered the door.

MC: What about his family?

Anna: We tried to call, but no one answered.

Anna: The police have taken over the matter, so all we can do now is wait. I’ll let you know as soon as we receive any updates.

I nod, and a slight vibration also comes from my phone at this moment.

I pick up my phone, and as expected, I see a line of text messages floating across the screen.

Victor’s Text: “I don’t even see the shadow of a certain someone so far. Didn’t you say you were already on the way?”

Quickly, I put the tickets in my pocket and walk briskly towards the door.

Even though I’m about to be labeled a “habitual latecomer” again, a tinge of joy still surfaces in my heart.

After all, what I can be certain of is that – I will soon be able to see Victor.

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

—

【CH 44-2】

As I approach the door of Victor’s office, I see that Goldman seems to be confirming something over the phone. When he sees me coming, he frowns slightly and draws a few steps back in silence.

I nod at him, then push the door open.

Victor (on the phone): Regarding this section of the proposal, it will be scheduled to discuss at tomorrow’s meeting.

The sunlight is folded into small speckles of light by the blinds, leaving marks on the carpet that reflect the passage of time. However, it is the figure at the window that captivates my attention completely.

With his back facing the door, his entire body is half-leaning against the wide windowsill. His voice is steady, but there is a hidden color beneath it that’s hard to discern.

In the distance, there is a long, dark suit draped over a hanger, while the sleeves of his white shirt are slightly rolled up.

I can’t bear to disturb Victor, so I quietly creep up behind him on my tiptoes.

Victor (on the phone): For the specifics of the rest of the itinerary, send them to me via email.

As he hangs up the phone, I avail myself of the opportunity and abruptly poke his broad back.

He turns around, his tone tinged with a hint of helplessness.

Victor: [sigh mixed with a soft laugh]  Did you think I would be caught off guard by this kind of child’s trick?

As I look into his familiar and helpless eyes, my heart is overcome with indescribable emotions.

I can’t decide whether to say it’s been so long since we last saw each other or should I ask about what has happened during this time. Too many words rush to my throat, and in the end, they all turn into an uncontrollable urge to draw closer.

MC: Who asked you to leave the country just after you got your memory back? And it was always so difficult to be in touch with you.

As soon as I open my mouth in a falsely reproachful tone, Victor pulls me into his arms. His chest pressed tightly against mine instantly drowns out all my emotions.

Victor: [extremely soft, indulgent laugh]  Now, does this count as being in touch?

I nod heavily in his arms, feeling this warmth that I’ve missed. The setting sun in the distance draws our figures into the fading twilight as if condensing this moment in time.

The next second, I feel a gentle pat descending on my head.

Victor: [soft laugh]  Are you going to spend the whole day here hugging me like this?

I lift my head to meet Victor’s teasing gaze. Pouting, I straighten myself up, then take out the report I’ve prepared from my bag.

MC: CEO Victor, please review the report for this period.

Victor: This heavy? Looks like a certain someone has been very busy during this time.

MC: Not only have I completed a significant amount of work, but I have also made much progress. It won’t be that easy for you to nitpick this time!

The corners of Victor’s lip curl into a soft arc, his gaze deep as he looks at me.

Victor: [soft chuckle]  In terms of self-confidence, I can tell that you have indeed matured a lot.

Victor: I just wonder when you will grow in terms of your sense of time?

MC: That was because you didn’t come back even after so long, so I made you “revisit the past”~

Victor: Sophistry.

Victor curls his finger and taps me on the forehead. Then he turns to return to the table and carefully flips through my report.

It’s not until he turns to the last page does he give the nod, a hint of applause tinging his voice.

Victor: The report is good. It appears that a certain someone has indeed grown up a lot during this period.

—

[Anika’s Tidbits]: BLESS CHINESE ITIREATIONS haha~ there’s a trend with Chinese speakers of using the same phrase twice, so it sounds really cutesy. The first time MC tried to make Victor say it was in “Advice Date (on EN)” 3 years ago LOL, and I just can’t with how he does it so naturally while imitating her now~ 😂💕

—

MC: As it should be. I burned the midnight oil for several nights to write these plans.

MC: Fortunately, the impact is under control now. Otherwise, there will certainly be an increasing number of people experiencing a mix-up between their past and present memories.

MC: And if it continues to develop, it may even lead to QUEEN’s identity being exposed.

Victor’s eyebrows knit into a frown, evidently, also remembering all the hazards this “QUEEN” identity had once brought with it.

Victor: You’ve done well. But resolving this memory overlap issue won’t be that easy.

Victor places the report that he is holding to the side, smoothening a creased corner of the document with his fingertips.

Victor: Memory is the most sensitive part of a person’s life, and it involves numerous connections.

Victor: As long as people believe that a particular memory is real, they are prone to act in ways that are beyond the ordinary.

His tone is solemn, and it seems he isn’t simply talking about the memory overlap issue.

And what’s more, given that everything with LFG is running steadily at the moment, there is no need for an explanation for the other things that could worry Victor.

Tentatively, I voice the conjecture in my mind.

MC: Beyond the ordinary… did something happen with BS?

Victor: There have indeed been some internal changes in BS.

Victor: To be precise, some people have chosen to leave of their own accord.

I can’t help but recall Victor’s rearranging of BS before. His thunderous and decisive approach really helped BS to eliminate its internal obstacles and achieve its ultimate goal.

But such a measure will eventually trigger a chain reaction. Additionally, Poseidon’s whereabouts are still unknown, making him a constant hidden threat.

Victor meets my gaze and seems to see through my concerns.

Victor: Those who left recently had no conflict of interest with BS.

Victor: As for Poseidon, the identity he used to disguise himself has already been found. Rest assured, he won’t be able to be in hiding for long.

Hearing Victor’s words, I finally feel a little at ease. However, his slightly creased brows make the air in the room somewhat stagnant for a while.

Having been with the people in BS, I know that they will get restless as long as there’s even a little hint of turmoil. So, I reckon the current situation is certainly not as simple as Victor is making it out to be.

Pursing my lips into a thin line, I lower my head and shift closer to Victor, crashing straight into his gaze without a care in the world.

MC: Victor, if anything really has happened, you must tell me about it.

MC: Don’t forget, I just saved the world!

Victor: Dummy, don’t worry about other matters.

Victor’s eyes sparkle with laughter, and he reaches out, stroking my hair.

Victor: The most important thing now is your proposal. Is there anything else?

MC: There is indeed something else. It’s about the interview with Meng Chang, the new person in charge of the redevelopment project.

MC: He seems to have come to Loveland City today. I’m going to attend the press conference tomorrow to find out more.

MC: Do you know this guy?

Victor: I’ve heard of him. He is an Evolver and has previously been in charge of the administration of Evolvers on the field.

Victor: But because of his eclectic ways of doing things, he was controversial in political circles.

Victor pauses for a bit before continuing again.

Victor: This, combined with his previously established position, gave him a strong follower base.

MC: What kind of followers?

Victor: Evolvers.

I let out an “ahh,” instantly understanding where this man stands.

Victor: So, even though the outside world was quite critical of him, he was able to soar to the top.

Victor: Reportedly, he applied for his transfer to Loveland City himself.

At some point, it has started drizzling outside, and fine drops of rain swiftly trickle down the glass.

Victor: You must be more careful when you go to meet him.

—

───── [Narrator’s POV Begins] ─────

In front of the City Hall. Leto has been waiting here for a long time.

Even though he tries to assume a calm and indifferent attitude, he still can’t help glancing at his wristwatch out of the corner of his eyes.

The curtain of rain outside has gotten heavier than before. On the misty street, the indistinct roaring at the far end is particularly ear-piercing.

The thunderclaps rumble faintly through the churning dark clouds, reminiscent of the muffled beating of snare drums.

Not long after, a black limousine comes to a halt in front of the entrance, and a pitch-black umbrella is unfolded in front of the car, blocking out all the raindrops falling from the sky.

The car door opens, and an amiable, middle-aged face appears under the umbrella.

??: Really sorry to have kept you waiting like this in this heavy rain.

Leto: Please! Your arrival in our city to lead the redevelopment project is a major event. How dare I will be negligent.

Leto: I have been looking forward to meeting you for a long time, Mr. Meng. I’m Mr. Leto, the person currently in charge of the Loveland City Redevelopment Project.

Leto says, smiling as he extends his hand. The man called Mr. Meng is dressed in a loose leather jacket, wearing a pair of glasses on his placid face.

With an apologetic expression, he quickly takes two steps and reaches out with a handshake, the corners of his lips raised into an invulnerable smile.

Meng Chang: Mr. Leto, you’ve already done a great job. I’m simply in charge of adding some icing on the cake. There’s still a lot for me to learn.

Leto also withdraws his hand. Naturally, he won’t easily buy such official civilities.

Leto: That being the case, I wonder where Mr. Meng is going to begin his work?

Meng Chang: Mr. Leto, you just asked the question that was on my mind.

Meng Chang lifts his head. His sharp gaze cuts through the heavy curtain of rain and lands on the towering and radiant LFG building in the distance.

Meng Chang: Let’s just start from there.

—

───── [Narrator’s POV Ends] ─────

—

【CH 44-4】

The next morning, the press conference at the City Hall is completely packed with journalists.

I’m about to turn on my computer and do some more prep work when I hear the sound of discussion coming from behind me.

Reporter A: Do you have any information regarding Meng Cheng taking office?

Cameraman B: What else could it be? He’s definitely seen how well the redevelopment project is going, so he especially rushed over to grab the credit.

Cameraman B: How could a politician who stands by the Evolvers still have the well-being of ordinary people in mind?

Reporter A: There’s nothing wrong with leaning towards the Evolvers. Aren’t we all advocating for helping each other nowadays…

Reporter A: I heard that he was also attacked for promoting Evolver policies. I wonder if that’s true.

Cameraman B: Where do you guys get this much gossip from! Zip it now. They’ll be coming out soon.

The next second, the entrance of the meeting hall is suddenly pulled open. Leto strides to the front of the group, while behind him is an amiable-looking middle-aged man.

A well-ironed suit is fitted to his body. As his calm gaze sweeps across the venue, the sound of chatter filling the space just a moment ago instantly quiets down.

Leto walks up to the podium and steadily places his speech draft on the table, holding the microphone.

Leto: Good morning, everyone. I’m Leto, the person in charge of the Loveland City Redevelopment Project.

Leto: As everyone knows, the Loveland City Redevelopment Project has been underway for a long time. And although progress has been made, it has also encountered many difficulties.

Leto: Therefore, at this special juncture, Mr. Meng Chang will be engaged in the redevelopment of Loveland City, overseeing and directing the said redevelopment project.

Leto partially turns his body and gives a quick look at the middle-aged man behind him. The man smiles and steps up to the podium, tapping his hand on the microphone.

Meng Chang: I express my thanks to our journalist friends for their diligent efforts. I’m Meng Chang.

The moment he begins to speak, the stage is awash with spotlights.

Meng Chang: I’d like to start by expressing gratitude, on behalf of the City Hall, to all those who have shown interest in and supported the Loveland City Redevelopment Project.

Meng Chang: My purpose in coming to Loveland City is not only to oversee the various aspects of the redevelopment but also to boost cooperation among all parties.

Meng Chang: The redevelopment efforts in Loveland City concern the interest of every resident, including both the ordinary people and Evolvers.

Meng Chang: I’m happy to serve as the communication bridge for this process, and I will welcome your opinions and suggestions at any time.

As soon as these words fall, Leto, standing by Meng Chang’s side, immediately breaks into a massive smile and applauds.

Meng Chang’s speech is simple and unadorned, which inevitably leaves a favorable impression on the audience.

Thinking back to Victor’s assessment of this man yesterday, I have a vague understanding of why someone with such thunderous methods could still thrive.

At this moment, the assistant standing next to Meng Chang picks up another microphone, and the reporters raise their hands in unison. My fingertips, which I try hard to lift, are instantly drowned out by the crowd.

Reporter A: Excuse me, Mr. Meng, will your work this time overlap with Mr. Leto’s?

Meng Chang: Regarding my relationship with Mr. Leto, I’d much rather call it mutual assistance.

Reporter B: You mentioned the term “obstruction” earlier. Does it mean you already have an objective for investigation?

Meng Chang: As the saying goes, “Rome was not built in a day.”

Meng Chang: If there is any headway in the relevant investigation, I believe our media friends will be the first to know.

Regardless of how pungent and tricky the questions are, he maintains his composure and speaks in measured tones.

After the previous reporter sits down, I raise my hand again.

Meng Chang: The last question. Miss in the back row, please go ahead.

As I’m called upon, I immediately stand up with the microphone in hand.

MC: Hello, Mr. Meng. I’m MC, from the program team of [MC’s Company Name].

MC: If I may ask, as an Evolver and as a leader, how do you regard the future of Loveland City?

The previously clamorous crowd in the surroundings quiets down, leaving only a few fragmented whispers.

Matters of identity and position have always been sensitive, and no one expected me to be so blunt in bringing this up.

Meng Chang: Miss MC, your question is quite interesting.

Meng Chang: Only, you are not the first person to ask this question.

He lifts his head, and his unperturbed face slightly curves upward beneath the spotlights.

Meng Chang: As an Evolver myself, I do pay more attention to the Evolver community.

Meng Chang: But my dream is to build a society where everyone can coexist in harmony, and I believe everyone present here must share the same vision as well.

MC: And what measures do you plan to implement in the future?

Meng Chang: It’s still too early to talk about measures now, but I do have a premature idea.

Meng Chang: As the proverb goes, “If one cannot clean one’s own room, how can one clean the world?” I want to help this society by cleaning up the garbage first.

—

The sunshine streaming in through the car window brings a touch of early spring warmth, but my heart seems to be covered by a layer of invisible mist, making it impossible for me to see through.

The flawless responses given at the press conference just now have earned Meng Chang a considerably favorable impression.

However, the words “clean up the garbage” that was spoken by his amiable face continues to send shivers down my spine.

MC: I hope I’m just overthinking it.

I shake my head and reach for my phone, intending to call Victor to confirm the press conference details. But at this moment, my phone coincidentally starts vibrating first.

Victor: Is the interview over?

MC: It’s already over. I was just about to call you.

MC: I’m on my way back to the office. I’ll head over as soon as I’ve got the documents sorted.

Victor: Alright, the time remains the same. Be careful on the road.

Victor: By the sound of your voice, it seems like things are not that simple?

MC: You’re right…

I heave a sigh and recount to Victor what happened at the press conference just now, and also share my own vague sense of unease.

Victor: Don’t worry too much about it for now. Since he will be involved in redevelopment-related matters, there will be opportunities to interact with him in the future.

Goldman: CEO, outside…

Suddenly, Goldman’s hurried voice comes through the phone, followed by some loud noise. It’s only after a while that I hear Victor’s voice clearly again.

Victor: Something has come up. Come over after you’ve finished organizing the documents.

MC: Mm, see you later.

As soon as I hang up the phone, Anna’s name begins to flash on the screen. The next second after connecting the call, I hear an urgent voice on the other end of the line.

Anna: MC, something’s happened.

—

By the time I rush back to the company, there are already many people gathered at the entrance. At the far end, I can see Anna standing in front of two men dressed in suits, frantically explaining something.

MC: Anna, what’s going on?

Anna: These two people claiming to be employees from the City Hall came with documents, demanding to take away all our entries and reports regarding the Loveland City Redevelopment Project.

As soon as the two men hear my name, they immediately turn their gaze toward me. The two tall figures stand rooted in place, exuding an intangible sense of intimidation.

I suppress the bewilderment in my heart and meet the opponent’s chilly gaze with a straight face.

MC: I’m the person in charge of [MC’s Company Name].

City Hall Staff: Miss MC, is it?

City Hall Staff: This is an investigation regarding the Loveland City Redevelopment Project. Please cooperate with us.

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

—

【CH 44-6】

The midday sun is shining fiercely, bright, and even a bit blinding. The oppressive air feels as if it’s pressing down on everyone’s chest, making it difficult to breathe.

I take a step forward and fearlessly meet the opponent’s gaze.

MC: Before proceeding, please let me verify your identities.

The investigator, clad in a suit, appears to have been ready for this and promptly retrieves a document from his briefcase.

City Hall Staff: This is our investigation order.

City Hall Staff: Signed by Mr. Meng himself, so we’re kindly asking for Miss MC’s cooperation.

As I take the document, the black text on the white paper makes my heart stutter.

“The City Hall’s Coordinated Investigation Order on [MC’s Company Name].”

Looking at the City Hall’s stamp and Meng Chang’s excessively neat signature in the lower right corner, my heart can’t help but sink.

This investigation order is indeed real.

But seeing how suddenly this investigation has been issued, I can’t help feeling that the other party was planning and preparing for it for a long time… I purse my lips and return the investigation order.

MC: May I ask how we should cooperate?

City Hall Staff: We need your company to provide, including but not limited to: the planning proposal, project plan, financial transaction proof, and complete files of relevant responsible personnel.

City Hall Staff: Once all the documents have been verified, you can collect them autonomously from the City Hall within ten working days following the completion of the investigation.

City Hall Staff: During the investigation period, relevant personnel must maintain immediate real-time communication to promptly confirm any pertinent information.

The other party answers my question like repeating a math formula.

The situation before me has made me realize that continuing to ask more questions would be simply pointless. It would be better to first see what the other party actually wants to do.

After contemplating for a while, I give a nod in Anna’s direction.

MC: Anna, please take them to retrieve the necessary documents.

MC: The two officers are simply following the protocols for an issued investigation, and I’m sure the materials will be returned to us soon.

Anna: …okay. Please follow me.

—

Anna leads the two of them into the office, and shortly after, a few more formally dressed people also flood in through the doorway.

By the time they walk out of the office, their arms are already heavy with documents.

A consistent and heavy sound can be heard ringing on the floor, reverberating in the ears of everyone present.

As the last footsteps fade away at the end of the hallway, the long-suppressed chatters in the office also erupt.

The minute whispers are accompanied by overflowing doubts, creating a pervasive atmosphere of unease.

I purse my lips tightly and force myself to calm down. Although it’s understandable for everyone to feel anxious due to the unexpected turn of events, I must not panic no matter what.

Allowing everyone to speculate randomly will only exacerbate the situation. Plus… if the investigation was actually designed, the current situation is precisely what the other party wanted to see.

After inhaling deeply, I walk briskly to the center of the office and clap my hands.

MC: Everyone, there’s no need to worry. The investigation is simply a routine inspection to cooperate with the redevelopment work, and it’s not intentionally targeting anyone.

Hearing what I said, the crowd around me lapses into silence.

MC: During my interview with Mr. Meng Chang in the morning, he stated that he intends to conduct a thorough investigation for the reconstruction work.

MC: All companies engaged in Loveland City will cooperate with the investigation to facilitate the next work steps.

MC: I apologize for not syncing this information with you all promptly. Keep up the good work, everyone!

It seems like they have accepted the reason I came up with on the spur of the moment. The clamors dissipate, and everyone gradually returns to work, as if the previous commotion was just an interlude.

—

Anna helps me to smooth things over. Once the situation has temporarily returned to normal, she discreetly pulls me back to the office, with a look of undisguised concern on her face.

Anna: Although we knew that a new official would be eager to make his mark, this Meng Chang’s actions are too extreme… I have never seen someone coming in and immediately issuing an order to investigate another person’s company.

MC: Don’t be angry, Anna. Anyway, we’ve done nothing wrong, so we shouldn’t be afraid of being falsely accused. Let them investigate thoroughly.

MC: However, the upcoming work related to Loveland City Redevelopment Project is likely to be quite troublesome.

MC: Send me the relevant plans later, and we’ll figure out our next steps after looking into it.

Anna: Okay, I’ll sort it out now.

As I watch Anna’s gradually receding figure, my brows finally can’t help from creasing into a frown.

Although the investigation itself does indeed hold water, the underlying reason does not withstand scrutiny.

Moreover, conducting such an extensive investigation with great fanfare, if nothing is found, could result in resentment from other companies involved in the redevelopment.

Unless… the other party is trying to obtain their desired outcome through the investigation?

If so, what exactly is it they want?

Numerous possibilities are entangled in my mind, but I can’t seem to grasp a single clue.

I knead my aching temples and glance down at the clock. It’s almost time to go to LFG for the report.

After the report is over, I’ll tell Victor about this. Perhaps he can help me disentangle the connections involved.

At this moment, out of nowhere, a news article pops up on my phone screen unannounced.

News: “Meng Chang enters a lengthy discussion with LFG! Suspected to conduct an in-depth investigation into the reconstruction plan!”

The huge headline is particularly eye-grabbing, and although the comment section below the news has been banned, countless reposts can still be seen.

I feel a tightening in my chest and immediately turn around, walking swiftly toward the door.

When I arrive at the entrance of LFG, journalists who have rushed over hearing the news are already crowded around the nearby street corners, waiting for first-hand information.

Even though the employees are in a rush, it’s evident that LFG is operating in an orderly fashion, indicating that the sudden investigation has not caused any disruption.

I walk upstairs, and turning the corner, I hear Goldman’s voice.

Goldman: In order to access the documents, we must wait for CEO Victor’s arrangements. Until his arrangements are made, please follow me to the lounge.

The four people across from Goldman are also dressed in suits and leather shoes, identical to the ones who arrived earlier to conduct a search at my company.

My heart can’t help but hang in the air again, prompting me to quicken my pace.

This hallway adorned with exquisite carpets, which I have walked down countless times before, seems especially long at this moment.

As I approach the end of the road, an elusive tension seems to permeate the atmosphere.

—

The moment I push the door open, the intense smell of a close battle assaults my senses. And there is Meng Chang’s amiable side profile that catches my attention.

Meng Chang: I wonder what CEO Victor thinks of what I said just now?

Meng Chang doesn’t seem to have noticed my arrival, as he speaks with an elevated tone while a sinister grin hangs on his lips that makes one’s hair stand on end.

Victor, standing at a distance, sees me and gestures with his eyes for me to remain silent.

Victor: Given that Mr. Meng is also in charge of the investigations, there is no valid reason for LFG to refuse.

Meng Chang continuously nods his head, seemingly satisfied with the outcome before him.

Meng Chang: I had heard before coming here that CEO Victor is an excellent cooperative partner, and today’s meeting with you has indeed proved it to be true.

Meng Chang: I also believe that the investigation results on LFG will not disappoint me.

Victor: I don’t really care about whether you will be disappointed or not.

Victor: And nor has LFG ever been obliged to please everyone.

Victor softly taps on the desk with one hand, his indifferent voice steady yet sharp.

Another tense silence ensues, causing one to be on edge. Meng Chang’s expression also becomes a little awkward.

He darts his eyes left and right, seemingly wanting to change the topic, and just then, his attention is drawn to me standing at the doorway.

Meng Chang: Aren’t you… Miss MC who interviewed me in the morning? I didn’t expect that we’d meet so soon.

Meng Chang’s eyes glide past Victor and rest on me. The inscrutable tone hidden behind his smile involuntarily causes a sense of apprehension to rise within me.

I purse my lips and subconsciously walk over to Victor while maintaining a calm demeanor.

MC: I also didn’t expect to meet you again so soon, Mr. Meng.

Meng Chang: Is Miss MC here to see CEO Victor too?

MC: You seem to be quite forgetful for a person of great wits. LFG is an investor in [MC’s Company Name], and we have many business transactions to deal with.

Upon hearing my words, Meng Chang's face lights up with a look of sudden realization.

Meng Chang: That’s right, that’s right. Miss MC’s company is also invested in by LFG.

Meng Chang: Oh no, the routine investigation this morning shouldn’t have affected your work, right?

MC: Their documents were valid and legitimate, and they also had Mr. Meng’s signature, so we naturally cooperated.

Meng Chang: That’s good to hear. However, I didn’t inform CEO Victor beforehand about this investigation. I wonder if he will be…

Victor lifts his eyebrows gently, not saying a word.

Meng Chang makes a small bow, as if he is genuinely conveying an apology.

Meng Chang: It’s my fault for not considering all the factors. According to regulations, I indeed should have informed CEO Victor first.

Meng Chang: But CEO Victor, please understand that I had no choice.

Meng Chang chuckles softly and adjusts his clothes as if nothing is wrong.

Meng Chang: I’ve already got concrete evidence of wrongdoings for the company under investigation, [MC’s Company Name].

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

—

【CH 44-7】

The calm words are akin to a sudden clap of thunder, shattering the fragile balance maintained in the room.

MC: I’m unsure as to the source of Mr. Meng’s information. I wonder if there may have been some misunderstanding?

MC: Although our company has been involved in the redevelopment project, we have never had any conduct that violated the regulations!

Meng Chang nods, changing his expression to adopt a sincere one.

Meng Chang: Right. Actually, I also think there is a misunderstanding here. After all, [MC’s Company Name] has a great reputation in the city.

Meng Chang: However, when it comes to our job, the most important thing is the “evidence.” If there is concrete evidence, we have no choice but to investigate.

Meng Chang retrieves an old-fashioned cell phone from his pocket, repeatedly rubbing the surface of his thick leather glove against its buttons.

He holds up his phone, and the small LCD screen displays a vast array of open account details. Alongside it is an extensive list of overseas transfer transaction statements.

Meng Chang: As you can see, every transaction of funds from Loveland City Hall is made public in the community.

Meng Chang: Just three days ago, Miss MC’s company received a sum of money that was deposited to the company’s account, and it was then allocated to various projects as usual.

Meng Chang: However, the money that was originally intended to be allocated to different projects disappeared overseas after undergoing a series of account transfers.

Meng Chang: CEO Victor, you should know what this represents.

Meng Chang’s gaze casually sweeps over Victor, waiting for his response.

Victor: This represents that this company may be involved in major violations.

Victor walks up to my side with absolute composure, giving the other party a chilly stare.

Victor: Mr. Meng, since you’re aware of the relationship between [MC’s Company Name] and LFG––

Victor: Then you should also know what the accusation you just made implies.

Victor’s tone is almost flat, and there isn’t even the slightest trace of wavering in his voice.

An immense sense of oppression rapidly spreads through the room, causing the atmosphere to become so tense that the air begins to feel thin.

Meng Chang puts away his phone and resumes his previous composed posture.

Meng Chang: CEO Victor, there’s no need to feel anxious. As I said before, I also have some personal reservations about this matter. After all, this sum of money is not even worth mentioning in front of LFG.

Meng Chang: Besides, since Miss MC is the boss, it’s inevitable to have some oversight in managing the subordinates from her standing.

Meng Chang: So, there must be some malicious individuals behind this incident, isn’t that right?

Meng Chang’s tone is sincere, as if he truly doesn’t believe that the two of us would engage in anything illegal.

Meng Chang: There will definitely be numerous collaborations between the City Hall and LFG in the future, so considering it as doing a personal favor might be worth it.

MC: Mr. Meng, do you mind being a little more explicit with your words?

Meng Chang’s roundabout probing words make me unable to resist addressing the topic directly.

Meng Chang: I only need a result.

Meng Chang narrows his eyes, calmly looking at Victor before him.

The corners of Victor’s lip twitch slightly, and then he lifts his chin with an air of arrogance.

Victor: But it’s the responsibility of the City Hall to seek the results.

Victor: The request Mr. Meng proposed doesn’t seem to be in accordance with the rules.

Meng Chang: …the rules?

Upon hearing Victor’s words, a smile appears on Meng Chang’s face.

Meng Chang: If Mr. Victor were such a compliant person, perhaps he wouldn’t be sitting in the position he is in today.

Meng Chang: Efficiency is always the top priority to me, especially considering…

MC: [cuts him off immediately]  Especially considering that my company has just collaborated with the City Hall to produce a promotional program.

MC: If you were to start investigating at this moment, the citizens would likely begin to question the competence of City Hall, right?

Seeing that the other party is about to start speaking in convoluted official language again, I immediately interrupt Meng Chang.

Victor frowns slightly, and I turn my head to give him a reassuring look.

Although the current situation is very critical, as Victor said, the responsibility for any errors or negligence in this matter does not lie with us.

Since it was deliberately set up by someone else, being in haste to clear ourselves may actually lead us to fall into their trap. At this time, it would be better to take a step back and turn the situation to our advantage.

This could not only help to dismantle the current situation, but also potentially ferret out the person who is pulling the strings behind the scenes.

And Meng Chang seems to be surprised by my getting right to the point like this, revealing a hint of astonishment.

Meng Chang: Miss MC, your words always catch me by surprise.

Meng Chang: Alright. In brief, as long as you guys can find the person responsible for this and recover the money involved, you will be able to absolve yourself of suspicion.

I look into the other party’s eyes, trying to calm my heart as much as possible.

MC: What about the timeframe?

Meng Chang: I can give you a week.

Meng Chang: If you can’t find this person within a week, I’m afraid I’ll have to meet the two of you every day.

Victor: We don’t need that long; three days is enough.

Victor blinks in a leisurely manner, his eyebrows arched sharply like a blade.

Victor: I believe Mr. Meng doesn’t want this issue to drag on for too long, either.

Meng Chang: From the looks of it, CEO Victor seems very confident, so I won’t inquire further.

Meng Chang: Although this isn’t a formal investigation, I hope that the two of you won’t leave the city. I’ll arrange for my subordinates to ensure your safety, in case any “bad guys” show up.

Meng Chang: I’ll be waiting to hear good news from CEO Victor.

Victor: You can see yourself out.

Victor turns sideways, and his silent figure is outlined by the light, which is his response at this moment.

With a steady gait, Meng Chang slowly walks toward the door, but just as he is about to step out, he turns around and says:

Meng Chang: By the way, there’s actually a personal reason why I don’t want the people from City Hall to get involved.

Meng Chang: Aside from my fondness for Evolvers, I also really like smart people.

The sound of Meng Chang’s laughter resonates through the room, akin to the invisible sword of Damocles.

The suffocating sense of oppression that follows the laughter lingers in the room for a long, long time.

—

Victor and I get into the speeding car, and the street scene outside the window continues to retreat in the rearview mirror.

The person driving the car is not the usual familiar driver, but instead is the “bodyguard” Meng Chang has assigned for us.

Although I understand that this is a deliberate form of monitoring us, the most important thing now is finding a solution to the problem.

I unlock my phone, and unsurprisingly, there are already several missed calls.

I immediately call back and hear Kiki and the girls’ voices on the other end of the phone.

Kiki: Boss, rumors are circulating outside that we've made illegal profits in the Loveland City Redevelopment Project.

MC: Don’t be anxious. I already know about the situation. No need to pay attention to the rumors outside. Right now, we have more pressing matters at hand to deal with.

MC: Kiki, contact the media outlets we are acquainted with and have them focus on who has been promoting these topics recently.

MC: Anna, keep an eye on what’s going on in the company and send me the list of employees who have left recently or seem suspicious.

MC: Afterwards, you guys just go about your normal work and leave the rest to me.

After meticulously arranging everything that needs to be done, I lay back on the seat, feeling a wave of exhaustion washing over me.

Victor: Your response just now was good.

Victor: I thought a certain someone would be flustered, but you were much calmer than I had imagined.

I turn sideways to look at Victor. His lips have a gentle curve to them, and his resolute gaze is filled with an expression of trust.

There has always been something about this man that makes one feel invincible, and this feeling sustains me at every moment.

Without realizing it, I reach out and take hold of his hand, subconsciously stroking his palm.

MC: I told you, I’ve grown up quite a bit.

MC: Moreover, compared to all the things encountered before, these are nothing.

My phone suddenly buzzes. Picking it up, I find that Anna has already sent me the list of names she has compiled.

There haven’t been many employee changes in the recent period, so it doesn’t take me long to go through all the lists of changes.

My gaze sweeps over the form, and I quickly lock onto a person.

I bring the screen closer to Victor, pointing at the ordinary-looking photo on the form with the name “Chen Hui” written next to it.

Victor: What’s your reasoning?

MC: This person has been working for the company for more than half a year and has been responsible for matters related to the Loveland City Redevelopment Project. He appears to rarely interact with others.

MC: But according to what Anna and others said, he suddenly disappeared a few days ago, and the police went to his registered address but couldn’t find him.

After hearing my words, Victor nods and then taps on his own phone.

Victor: The person you mentioned just now, we can focus on him.

Victor: However, we can’t rule out the possibility of other suspects, so I will assign people to investigate them too.

Victor: Regardless of who the other party is, one thing we can be certain of - this matter is far from over.

MC: You mean, their real intention is not what it appears to be?

Victor nods, his gaze steady and powerful.

Victor: The sudden appearance of this oversight indicates that someone must have done it intentionally.

Victor: However, the trick played isn’t sufficient to cause actual harm to you or the interests of LFG.

I nod. Thinking along Victor’s train of thought, I feel that my outlook on this matter has suddenly expanded.

MC: You’re right…

MC: If this matter was planned in advance, it indicates that the “rat” had already been planted in my company a while ago. 

MC: This incident must have gone through a long period of planning and design, and they chose today as the opportunity to detonate it!

And there aren’t that many people who are capable of accomplishing a task like this.

Could it be GR? Or is it Poseidon, who managed to escape under Victor’s subordinates and whose identity still remains a mystery?

If this indeed were to be the case, what would be their purpose? Could it be because of the CORE in my body?

Or perhaps they are using this event to lay the groundwork for an even deeper conspiracy?

For instance, their target perhaps is Victor himself?

MC: Victor, if other motives are involved, could it be that what the other party truly wants is…

Before the words can exit from my parted lips, they are curbed by the expression in Victor’s eyes.

His gaze shifts slightly, meeting the eyes of the man driving at the front. An icy warmth flits across the corners of his lips, as if warning me to hold off on speaking for a while.

City Hall Bodyguard: Excuse me, CEO Victor, where will you go next?

The person seated in the front passenger seat seems slightly embarrassed upon noticing our eyes upon them.

Victor: Turn right at the next intersection.

Victor straightens his cuffs and speaks in a calm tone.

I subconsciously turn my head to look out the window. The sight of the familiar buildings and streets outside makes me blink in confusion.

This is the road to Souvenir.

Seemingly sensing my puzzlement, Victor leans in and approaches me. His breath stirs the locks of hair on my temple.

Victor: I’ve been looking at a certain dummy’s anxious face for too long. It’s time to get her to put on a different expression.

—

[Part 2]: Here!

────

#my badass duo at it again🔥 🔥 before ofc - the writers decide to clown and-- 🔪 🔪 #HAHAHA with all these build-up throughout – when they shove it in your face at the end – it still comes like a fcking lightning bolt #Vic mum 🥺🤲 he literally said goodbye to everyone – except MC – cause he said he’d never ༼⁠;⁠´⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠۝ ⁠༎ຶ⁠༽ #you’ll know what i mean soon ಥ⁠_⁠ಥ #mlqc victor #mlqc li zeyan #mlqc #mr love victor #mr love queen's choice #恋与制作人 #李泽言 #love and producer #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc translations

[fleet-off]

VP in a Gothic setting? 👀 though of course locates and situated in Thai culture. Like VP already has the seeds of the Gothic.

Like think about it. In kinnporsche universe you have Korn locking up porsche's mom in a tower and no one is allowed to go to it. No one knows. Gun/Kan has wasted years thinking of this spectre and ruining Vegas/Macau's life. Vegas, the hound with that creepy symbolic painting ( i forget it's name) in his room. Vegas who remains drenched in blood. Vegas who catches Pete and locks him up and much like Korn would have loved to keep Pete in the safehouse.

Tawan's "ghost" haunts Porsche. Like!!!! With the right aesthetics kinnporsche could totally be a Gothic series.

Ooh, thanks for this ask, anon!

I do have to apologize in advance, because I am maybe going to have a wee semi-academic ramble in my response. You actually have me thinking a lot on the translation of aesthetics and traditions across cultures? Obviously, Gothic has European roots, and the origins of a tradition often play into its presentation in a multitude of ways that can make laying it uncritically atop another culture...thorny, to say the least.

That said, the Gothic has been broadened and translated and reinterpreted across a multitude of cultures, remolding its presentation to their traditions, superstitions, taboos, fears, etc. Because ultimately, Gothic tends more aesthetic than coherent genre, no? It’s a vibe, and a vibe can present itself in a thousand ways. These reiterated elements of fear, isolation, complicity, the ever-present reminders of a looming and violent past, the supernatural and macabre and grotesque--also the motifs you mention of imprisonment and specters (among many others)--appear all over the world in different forms and contexts.

So like. Fear, isolation, complicity, the violent past looming over the present. The ghosts of betrayal and loved ones long gone but still here, the layers of secrets, the woman in the attic, the ah. Repressive, semi-incestuous, all-consuming, glittering trap the family represents. KinnPorsche misses the mood of the Gothic, but the elements and motifs are there to play with for sure! I see your vision, anon 😂

Actually, my Stable Delusion WIP miiiight fall somewhere along the lines of what you’re wishing for with regard to VP. (If only it were complete...😅)

...Hah. You know what? I’m not posting more of that fic to Ao3 ’til the whole thing’s in its final form, but there’s no harm sharing the drafted first chapter here on Tumblr. Incoming!

#asks #kinnporsche #vegaspete #and btw anon! if i have not been terribly boring #and if you have any broader/academic interest in how the gothic might configure itself in south and southeast asian contexts #maybe check out dr. katarzyna ancuta? #she’s a gothic scholar and a lecturer at chulalongkorn university

[welcometololaland]

Hi Lola 💖 you asked for a distraction so hit me with 4, 6, 9, 12, 17 and 24 for the ask game please

hiya, d. thanks for my pick me up!

4. a story idea i haven't written yet

i'm super keen to write the neighbourhood enemies to lovers tarlos fic that started with a joke about speeding fines and ended with a full on TK character study. i've also been plagued by a desire to write a reddit-inspired AU for tarlos featuring an awkward first interaction followed by an online romance, but i have no idea when or if it's gonna happen.

6. the word that appears most in your current draft

now that 10 things is over, i'm turning back to eurotrip. currently, the wordcount is sitting around 90k and 'fuck' appears 136 times already (keep in mind it's 50% henry POV too).

9. start to finish, how long did it take you to write the last fic you posted?

10 things took over 18 months because i DNF'd it twice 💀 still can't actually believe i finished it. the quickest i've ever written a fic was ALTA, which is 166k and i took just under 3 months to write the first draft.

12. a trope i'm really into right now

see above question (4) i'm just so obsessed with anything to lovers - enemies to lovers is the hardest to nail imo, but i also love rivals to lovers, friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, pretend enemies to lovers, etc. etc.

another thing i'm super into writing at the moment is awkward/endearing sex lmao. like imperfect but eager sex between two people who really like each other but who are also really nervous.

17. is answered here.

24. how do you recharge when you're not feeling creative?

i don't really have a good answer to this - i guess i just try and focus on my creativity somewhere else, like into dance? i go with ebbs and flows, sometimes when i'm really creative in one area i'm not in the other. i just gotta ride the wave i think <3

thanks for these, you picked such great questions!

more writer asks

#more writer asks #carlos-tk #lola answers #911 lone star #rwrb

[unhinged-comics-scree]

I was gunna do the predictions bingo but honestly I am not feeling the juices rn. So maybe just a hopes list?

The obvious first one, Smith comes back as a human in some shape or form. Adjacently, this ends up as the ending of the OP shows up. I think Obari has been very direct in saying how much the OP is representative of the work and the scenes we don't have are the section where Bravern rolls out with the TSes and Smith demonstrating his pick up game. One of the news articles for a mech focused site has a thing about spotlighting TSes that show up in the later half and I don't know if they meant series as the whole or just the ep lol. Anyway, significant Smith helping lift Isami up scene pls.

I'm uh, not a Brave/Transformers focused person but I am in it for men kissing so I totally get people who want to keep Bravern but I like me a human Smith! Smith wanted to be in a bot and he's. In a bot. The same way we exist in our meatsuits. So I don't count it as a bad end either.

I think ideally we have both Bravern + Smith existing together... somehow. Actually it'd be so funny to have them both fight for Isami's attention. That being said some of the cute fanart where Smith can transform is probably my personal fave? Just throw in a magical girl show while we're here??

Oh at the very least

Isami figures out Bravern is Lewis Smith

I don't think there's any way we can get to the end without this happening so specificity. Isami finding Smith's dog tag in the cockpit is probably going to be the most obvious option. It's kinda brutal but I'm curious what the cockpit looks like "off" since it's like a projection orb or something.

It's related but imagine. A tokusatsu suit in there. I asked last week "what the fuck is 2m tall human man Isami Ao supposed to do against giant robot. What if he gets a hero suit + sword. Clearly Brave Printer can do anything so.

Actually I wanna know more about that but I feel like that's just something that doesn't need to be answered rn.

Another time loop??

It'd be kind of fun if Isami finds some sort of time loop trigger inside of his cockpit. Because I think it'd be kind of amusing tbh. That being said I don't really know where I'd want it to go. Lewis goes to when Bravern is introduced which I guess is because that's his time of need? And Lulu goes to when Bravern is "born". I don't really see it but people feel like Isami's shift from crying -> hero who makes everyone happy is too drastic so maybe somewhere in there but honestly I think its because there's only 12 episodes lol. Maybe because it's Isami the fusion moments are save points?

The thing about a last time loop without Deathdrives means we don't get Lulu and Superbia so that would make me pretty sad so maybe not that far back lol.

Deathdrive Lore

I think the key to that kind of thinking is finding out why the Deathdrives are here to begin with. Like, Bravern came into existence _after_ they were already invading so why are they all here with the motivation to get a death from Bravern specifically. How does that work. Did Cunus know something about it and tell everyone?

Actually that would be interesting like, Bravern's existence is what brings the Deathdrives to this... world? Timeline? Reality? in the first place so they end up stopping Bravern from existing at all. That would explain why its both Smith and Isami coming out of TSes in the last scene but not the uh giant holes in the city behind them. I think it'd be a cop out to like, find some way to defeat the giant mechas in the giant mecha anime without a giant mecha anyway. Covering my bases though.

Anyway, what is up with them. What is the gluttony one doin with all that magma (is he going to make a new island??). Why is Ira so mad.

Isami Lore

I need the equivalent of the "when I was a kid, I wanted to be a dude in a skintight suit" but for Isami. Maybe the opposite? I think the post got too eaten by the draft system for me to post but I think it'd be interesting to see Isami be a parallel to Smith in that he lost people close to him but he went for the inverse conclusion where there are no heroes. Actually that would be such a callout for the last episode to start the same way as the start and also the big reveal. Or is that too repetitive? I'd also like to see how he befriends Miyu and Hibiki.

I think after everything I'll put together a "episodes I wish we had in a full season" list because I think it'd be fun to see more of what this man is cooking. Will I dip my toes into doing it myself? Probably not! Despite the amount of words here I'm not a great writer.

I don't think I'm actually capable of writing a review, I'm capable of being critical but I'm also not that discerning if that makes sense. Plus I lack so much extra context in the greater universe of everything this show references it wouldn't be particularly useful.

#bravern #I'm so sorry to people who search for content with that tag and get essays from me #i try to organize my blog just a little

[mulling-over-milgram]

My current Hotaru theories and thoughts

ahh- this has been sitting in my drafts so long sorry…I just really could not make sense of the recordings and was really struggling with them (sorry I’m stupid ^^;) but now some people have done theories on the recordings I feel like I can post this with out needing to go into the recordings.

if I am wrong @74n5n I apologise eternally!

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First I’d like to attempt to establish a timeline. Using two pieces of evidence. “It's cold, and snow has barely touched the ground.” This implies that the murder took place in winter so since I think sumi-gram takes place in japan? That would place the murder somewhere between December and February. Then the second piece of evidence.

The blurry text “I’ve lost the desire to try any more during the last year of school” now according to google school in japan starts around April ends around of the next year March. Hotaru's profile puts them at age 20-25 and since university in japan starts at 18 and goes through 22 we can probably assume they are 22 since they mention it being their last year of school. We see what I believe are cherry blossoms? Which bloom around late March early April again according to google which means this could either be from the start if the school year April or the end of the school year.

murder = dec - feb

memory = april - march (very start or very end of the school year)

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Now this might sound a little weird but I strongly believe that Hotaru killed themself after their murder. Migram is referred to as another life for hotaru. “Another life that you'll give me.”

Then theres a couple other lines that could suggest it as a possibility:

-Ahh, that's not fair. Isn't it? But, I've grown pretty tired already. Going to rest. (If this line follows the conventions of milgram then it should be directly after the murder)

-“This year. No more years.”

-“They touch the empty air with their hand. It's impossible to reach you.”

moving on too what actually inspired this theory , the fact that Hotaru is pretty consistently associated with death. There is the fact they changed their name “I changed my name in papers, but everyone keeps on calling me by the old one.” Which could be considered a death of identity. They reference hell “Well, maybe you'll go to Hell and pay for it.” (Personally I believe this to be hotaru speaking but I could very well be wrong) and the names remi suggests are heavily tied to death. For rei she points it out herself

“I know a perfect one! Rei! As in, "rei" that means "ghost",

Rei is also a murder victim in milgram which could further hint at them being dead.

(she also mentions rei meaning zero which idk if this is a common thing but I’ve heard negative numbers be called dead numbers?. Zero in this context a number between the living and dead?)

The second name she suggests tama. In Japanese tama is a suffix that can also be used to refer to souls or spirits. She also mentions the name sounds like a cats name and cats have heavy associations with evading death or having multiple lives.

“Like... Tama... No, that sounds like I'm giving you a cat name.”

then their current name means firefly. Fireflies are symbolic of departed souls and there is a superstition that fireflies coming into the house means someone will die soon. Then there’s

“It's enough of a crime that I'm here , Right into Hell, I'll take you with me.” Here possible referring to the murder location but also seems to possibly reference milgram? So it’s enough of a crime they are there at the murder location? To go to hell (milgram?) either way they intend to go to hell with this other person hell is ofc where you go after death. After the crime they will go to hell > after the crime they will die?

suicide and suicidal thoughts is in the trigger warnings which doesn’t mean it applies to hotaru but it does mean it is possible.

their murder location dose seem to be a tall building so them dying or killing themself directly after the murder is logically possible.

so when hotaru comes to the prison they are named and are suggested names that mean souls of the dead hence I believe they are dead and were revived by milgram.

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Moving on to more name stuff. There were to common threads in the name meanings I’m not sure what to do with gems and storms.

Fireflies are also called lightning bugs and one of the other means of tama is thunder. According to google storms are symbolic of change but then again most things are symbolic of change if you look hard enough…

Another meaning is tama is jewel and the name rei has connections with jade.

Then rei and hotaru are both unisex name but tama has strong associations with the male gender (fun fact tama is literally the word for boy in my countries native language) maybe I’m reading to much into this but since hotaru’s story seems like it might have some themes about gender identity I thought I should mention it.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

hotaru could also have symbolism as the beginning of the end? Their birthday is the beginning of the last month of the year , they are the first prisoner and as such will be the first to receive judgment in the final trial. The start of a new life coming from the end old one? Or like if this follows novel-gram rules hotaru could die if they are voted guilty at the end so its the start of a new life that will end? They are in their last year of university so they are at the end of schooling but at the start of working life? Idk I kinda just had this thought while looking at the character profiles its not a super serious theory.

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we’ll we are on the topic of thoughts I had while writing this “Another presence is to your side. Not in the form of a real human, nor a foggy silhouette. What does it feel like? Want them to go? Want them to stay?” Now this is most likely a person but “not in the form of a real human” got me thinking what if its hotaru’s identity? Or past identity? I don’t fully believe this myself but I thought I’d chuck out the possibility of this not being a person but more of a concept…if that makes sense?

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their seems to be alot of duality with hotaru’s character theirs ofc the hair but also to of the symbols that they have been associated with cherry blossom and fireflies also have duel and opposite meanings in Javanese culture. Fireflies are love and war and cherry blossoms are life and death / beauty and violence. (Which yay more death symbolism to add to the pile :D)

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finally I’d like to talk about what I think the murder was “It's cold, and snow has barely touched the ground. Are you afraid of heights? Is your head spinning? When you glance down, there is an unmoving body; although you can't even see it.” Okay so we know from hotaru’s prisoner card their murder location was a tall building or bridge.

so they won’t be able to see it very well because water in the case if the bridge or the height if the building. Them knowing the body is there without seeing it implies they were the one for lack of better of better phasing put it there. (Tho I wouldn’t throw out the possibility of their murder being induced suicide…? I didn’t mention it earlier because I don’t have any hard evidence ‘its enough of a crime I’m here” / “you say not everyone here is a murder is a murder i’m pretty sure I must be” as counterintuitive as that sounds makes me feel like its somewhat possible that it wasn’t direct murder but again possible I don’t currently believe that to be what actually happened)

“Another presence is to your side. Not in the form of a real human, nor a foggy silhouette. What does it feel like? Want them to go? Want them to stay?” Now I’m not fully sure on who this is.. ^^; I think the other person from the recording is either the victim or the person here.

They touch the empty air with their hand. It's impossible to reach you. If my suicide directly after the murder theory is true then this would be when it happens.

so in conclusion who ever they mention in the “In fact, I’ll kill you with my bare hands next time.“ is probably who they killed and I believe they most likely pushed them off the roof of the building and then someone else came up onto the roof but hotaru died before that person could stop them. After they died they were taken to milgram. I think that the person they killed is either one of those girls mentioned in the recordings or the person they were talking to in said recordings.

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My voting thoughts

I’m going to vote victim as it dose seem they were possibly the victim of mis-gendering/neglect and definitely deadnaming/bullying or harassment it doesn’t seem so far like they saved anyone so far and I don’t think I understand enough to firmly vote Perpetrator from what I understand currently it doesn’t feel right to vote them that.

#If I had a dollar for every milgram related analysis were I mentioned cats have nine lives I would have 4 dollars #Which isn’t alot but its weird it’s happened 4 times

[yandere-sins]

So I thought I’d give a little life-update as there’s a lot going on at the moment and I think it’s visible on my blog as well. Maybe the positives first:

I do really like my new work, I like that I have set hours (even if I do overtime here and there) and though it got incredible stressful the last few weeks, I think the four people that work in my office space are the coolest in the whole company and I love the support I am getting, it’s something I always wanted for my work-life tbh! My dog is also doing very fine, she’s really a total sweetheart and I wouldn’t know what to do without her, and at least I, myself, am doing pretty okay-ish physically, so nothing to complain there.

Now to the negatives.

Unfortunately, my mom’s cancer returned but is quite hard to pinpoint. She went back to an even more aggressive chemotherapy and we’re hoping for the best. Honestly, I don’t wish cancer on anyone, it’s such a tough battle and even just as the primary caretaker it’s been really hard to deal with for me, luckily I have grandparents and a brother who all deal with it and help and support, so that’s good! My mental health though is suffering. It’s biting my own butt now, but I cancelled therapy to focus on work at the beginning of this year and now my therapist is fully booked, so I will have to sit out this month probably. I am telling that because that’s the reason I am struggling with concentrating on one thing for a long time, which includes writing, which explains the fluctuation of posts you are seeing, since I try to get requests and drafts done on the weekend when there’s less stress. Sadly only works like 30% of the time...

Going forward I have decided to indefinitely pause commissions. I have noticed that they put too much pressure with the deadline and expectancy on me when I am already struggling and sometimes need a day to myself. I can’t say when they’ll come back, but thank you all so much for your interest and support, it’s always a pleasure to write your ideas and I never had a bad experience with commission ♥

Good news for Mermay: it’s still happening! ... buuuut I am shortening the story I came up with. I think I was too ambitious with the three routes I teased, so I am trying to figure out how to ensure that it won’t drag out as much as Atreo’s story last year. Unfortunately, the start will be delayed some more, but we were going to celebrate Mer-June anyway, so at this point it probably doesn’t make as much difference (’:

Because the question arose a few times already, I will not be playing Honkai Star Rail. It has a few reasons, but the main one is I don’t have the time. Sorry to everyone who asked about it, but it’s just not the right time for me at the moment! ): I’ll probably be miserable again later when everyone has moved on to it and I am stuck behind but I have to make cuts somewhere ;;

I actually have some commissions and requests that I haven’t released yet, so I will try to schedule some of these in the meantime while I work out how to go about stuff. If you’ve been around for a while you probably know I like routines that’s why it’s always important for me to build them and keep them up. Other than that, I’ll probably focus on Mermay and my own writing projects which will happen rather irregularly. No guarantees on posting, sadly ):

I do realize tho that it just isn’t always possible to keep up frequency of posts and interactions I had when I started this blog, as much as it saddens me. I have to prioritze my real life before my internet presence (and I really need to not feel guilty about taking breaks from everything ever so often ;;), so if you see me vanishing for a few days, it’s just that really.

Thank you everyone who stuck around and supports this blog ♥ There’s another big milestone coming up veeery soon and I am always in awe that so many people would stay to read my silly little stories!! If you have some time and don’t mind waiting for a response, I’m always happy to chat and answer questions, so please don’t hesitate to hit me up!

Thanks everyone ♥

#Admin #Also I found a new editing program that I want to try out soon-ish #if something changes about my writing... it could be my editing ^^' #But Grammarly also now has an AI thingy and bleh #Don't really want to keep supporting it since it's also not really made for non-professional writing stuff

[sysmedsaresexist]

Why should I bother healing? I mean what awaits past the pain and sorrow? Feeling lightly better? I can just chase dopamine till I'll die and still have a good enough life

I feel like I know who this is, we have an unfinished conversation, don't we?? I still have your last reply and the start of my post in my drafts, waiting for me to find words that would help. If it's not you, I hope that user sees this, as well.

Friendo, don't let your current dumb feelings and silly brain get in your way of your future

Extreme positivity ahead

Fuck around on this post and find out

-the kids these days, probably

On a very serious note, I think we've all been there, where it just feels so goddamn pointless and you're so tired. Trauma survives long after the events that caused it, digging its claws into every aspect of your life-- even the parts that seemed unrelated and safe.

I can't give you the best advice because I don't know your full situation-- age, living arrangements, financial situations, education, all of that changes the conversation, but I'm going to try to give you a general bit of hope

Age and time helps

Even mental illness tends to improve with age.

As you get older, the brain naturally settles into a (generally) calmer, happier state. I promise you, with all the sincerity and genuineness in the world, even if you did nothing, in five years you'll still feel better than you do right now.

Yes, even dissociative disorders. (PDF)

Don't be so hard on yourself.

This won't apply to everyone, obviously there is a problem with mental health in aging populations, but... don't think that's the norm, or something to be expected, and you've already taken the biggest step by noting your mental health struggles early on. One of the biggest reasons that there is a problem in seniors is because there was very little early detection, and talking about mental health was seen as taboo. You're halfway there.

And as you experience more happiness and things just feel calmer, making positive changes becomes easier, especially as more opportunities open to you every year. So.

Looking back, I think my biggest mistake was looking at myself as I was, and looking at where I wanted to be-- or, more often, what I thought everyone else was. Happy, composed, financially successful, intelligent, popular.

And good god, I felt lazy. I wasn't chronically fatigued, I was lazy, I convinced myself.

Eventually, I started looking at smaller parts of my life and tried to make tiny, easy improvements, rather than anything big.

And with each tiny improvement, and with each year, I started to feel like it was worth it. And like I deserved to have a life I was happy with, whether that met anyone else's expectations or not.

Look, I don't know what kind of crack my grandmother was on, but I couldn't keep a house like that. She had six kids and a job back in the 60s, and even at nearing 85 she would still get on her hands and knees and wash the floor. That place was always immaculate.

And that's just unrealistic. And unnecessary.

My mother was the polar opposite, and I grew up in a hoarding situation.

When I finally got out on my own, it took a while to figure it out, but I settled somewhere in the middle. The idea of keeping the house as clean as my grandmother made me want to actually off myself. I am not exaggerating. The idea was daunting and terrified me. I would rather lay down and give up than find the energy.

But the closer I got to my mother's situation, the more I hated myself, because look at how gross I was.

Here's the truth:

Fuck. Everyone.

Seriously. I swear to god, one day, a lightbulb is just going to go off, and you'll realize that you never should have cared in the first place what other people thought or expected.

My home is crowded but cozy. I no longer look around feeling overwhelmed and disgusted with myself. I do what I can and I celebrate every little step.

It's my home and I'm happy with it, and that is the only thing that matters.

Life is like my house. Live it only for yourself, and do what you can. Celebrate all of the things you do, regardless how small.

Even if you did nothing, it's still going to get better.

Imagine how much EXTRA better you can make it if you just take it in tiny, tiny steps.

Like exponential growth of better.

Feeling just slightly better today makes tomorrow feel better, and the day after that, and the day after that.

Plus, think of all the (insert animal you love) that'll you'll see.

#suicide mention #tw #positivity #ptsd #depression #anxiety #did #OSDD