#I will confide in tumblr that the secret I have learned for my writing to come easily and without agony and much grief in every sentence

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

what is this?? gurt attempting to write a fanfic that's lived in her mind for like 3 years?? the night after inventory at her store wrapped up when all she REALLY wants to go is sleep for a whole week????

#anyway I'm attempting to write a thing. maybe to use for one of my YearoftheOTP fics? or maybe not #it is such a mess so far. it starts and then promptly restarts and also switches POV at least once dfksjhsdkfjh #BUT I am WRITING!! and it is not agony to do so!! hurrah!! #I will confide in tumblr that the secret I have learned for my writing to come easily and without agony and much grief in every sentence #is to be terrifically tired first #because then my perfectionism and imposter syndrome and obsessive inner editor are all too tired to care #and the writing gremlin is free to wreak havoc all over a shiny new word document #unfortunately it's not a very sustainable technique and I cannot use it regularly #and it produces writing that #while written quickly and freely and without much trouble #has to be HEAVILY edited before it makes ANY kind of sense #but that's actually ok bc the first draft needs only to exist and that is all #so I've got probably about 1/2-3/4 of this random pointless oneshot written up tonight and mayyybe I'll be able to finish it and edit it #and then share it with the 2 of y'all who will actually care enough and have the fandom context to read it X'D #gurt says stuff #writing woes #without the woes this time!

[luvvyouforever]

harvey (sdv) - nsfw alphabet <3

-> there is not nearly enough harvey content on tumblr for my liking. SO two harvey posts in a row, yes i do believe. and i do love reading an sfw/nsfw alphabet so of course i have to provide for our favorite nerdy doctor <3 i also want you to know that as i write this, i imagine harvey as a taller, bigger man. so like he's got some chub on him and he's got broad shoulders. idk idk it's my headcanon.

-> this is nsfw and dirty! like i really tried to get over my reservations about using descriptive language. with that being said, NSFW 18+ MDNI MDNI MDNI MDNI MDNI MDNI MDNI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

harvey is the sweetest, most gentlemanly partner after sex. he makes sure that you get cleaned up, that you protect yourself against any UTIs or other gross things, makes you some coffee or tea, and cuddles with you endlessly. harvey would need some extra reassurance that what he did was good, that you enjoyed it, or that you didn't get hurt. he'd get anxious and worry about it for the rest of the night if you didn't offer him some kind of honest discussion.

b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

i think he appreciates his arms and hands! he knows that he has some strength and likes when you can grip on to his biceps in the heat of the moment. knows how to work his hands i mean, come on. he can do minor surgical interventions. if you hold onto his arm while you're walking in town, he'd get all blushy.

as for you, he truthfully loves every part of you. if you ever asked him "what part of me is your favorite?" he would actually stress over it and couldn't answer. however, if you really really wanted him to say, he would choose your eyes. there's nothing better to him than looking at them when he's giving you pleasure. sends him reeling, actually.

c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

i don't think harvey is particularly keen on making a mess, especially of the bed or another surface. he'd try to keep his cum inside of you, or at least contained to an easily wipeable surface (like your face). on the down low though, i truthfully think he'd surprisingly enjoy cumming on your face, mainly around your lips. messy oral? he's done for.

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

meeting dr. harvey in his office for a confidential check-up? hmm. definitely not when you first start dating, but give him some time and you may just find yourself on his desk (never in the actual, sterile field) receiving a little extra attention wink wink nudge nudge

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

he has plenty of knowledge about anatomy, trust me. he never struggles with finding your best spots. however, he struggles with foreplay and building intimacy and dirty talk, etc. he's a nerd! what can i say? tell him what you like, guide him, and help him and he'd be confident in no time. he's a quick learner.

f = favorite position (this goes without saying)

so, i think there are two sides to harvey. he is either incredible slow, passionate, and earnest. this lends itself to something simple like missionary where he can stare into your eyes, kiss you, tell you sweet things, etc. his other side comes out later, when he's gotten more comfortable with you and with himself, and he can get a little rougher or faster or intense. he likes to be able to grip on to you so something like doggy, maybe riding?

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

harvey can't help but be clumsy sometimes. he learns to be able to giggle at himself when his hand misses the bed and he falls. he also can't help but giggle when hair gets caught in your mouth or some other silly thing. however, he likes to keep things intimate and prefers to have a serious moment with you in bed.

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

i don't think he fully shaves, he just doesn't strike me as that kinda guy with his mustache. but i do think he trims it, kinda manscapes it a little bit to tame everything down but he likes to have a little hair down there.

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

loves making sex romantic. he doesn't do it often, but on special days like your anniversary or birthday, he will harvest some flowers from the farm and throw the petals around the room, open up some freshly made wine, and showers you in affection. as for every day sex, he still likes to make it special for you and never backs down on his pure, teeth-hurting sweetness.

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

i think that he is the kinda guy that starts feeling guilty for masturbating after he gets into a relationship. prefers to just wait for you. however, before your relationship, he would masturbate every once in a while when he was stressed or horny. if he ever watched porn, which i feel like would be very rare for him, he wouldn't watch highly produced, fake porn. it would have to be something amateur. (harvey has a secret twitter account)

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

okay so...i think harvey starts out vanilla. when you're getting to know him and for the first few times you have sex, he keeps it simple. mainly out of nervousness. however, i think he's kinkier than we might assume. i think he really enjoys being praised and praising you. i think, too, he likes feeling big and strong in that he gives in to his possessiveness sometimes, and he likes being able to manhandle you a little bit. also, i propose this everyone....bondage? nothing super strong! just with his tie or belt. and your hands. to the headboard.

l = location (favorite places to do the do)

your bedroom, mostly! he has a reputation that he needs to uphold so anything in public is nerve wracking. but with some convincing, like i said, his fancy office is not totally off limits.

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

seeing you do anything! especially if you're really determined to get something done and you're working hard at it! like, you've been working so damn hard on renovating and cleaning the farm and you come back proud of everything you've done, he will look at you with a glow in his face. kisses on the neck, too!

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

i don't think he'd ever hurt you. it's just not something he could ever see himself doing. he doesn't mind seeing like fingertip marks on you the day after but anything like choking, spanking, etc is out of the question. he also would find rudeness a turn off in a person. like he would hate to see anyone be rude to another person and it would take away from someone's attractiveness immediately! (that's not to say that he doesn't enjoy some town gossip here and there)

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

my first headcanon here is that harvey LOVES giving oral and on the days when he hasn't cleanly shaved his face, his stubble leaves marks around your thighs. okay, now that that's out of the way: harvey is such a pleaser and he'd do anything to make sure you feel good. he likes when you guide his head, mouth, or hands and he likes being told if you want more, or faster, or less. as for him receiving, i think he enjoys it but he gets so in his head that he can't really cum from it. it takes some extra praise and reassurance to get him to fully open up.

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

like every other answer here, it depends on his mood! he can get really fast when he's feeling extra needy or kinky. however, when he's trying to be romantic, he will take his sweet time and go nice and slow with his thrusts, movements, touches. however, i think he could also use slowness to his advantage and tease you.

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

prefers to take his time but sometimes he likes to catch you before you wake up and start working on the farm and before he has to go to work. he enjoys these more than he will admit to himself though and he thinks it can be fun!!

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he's down to try new things, don't get me wrong! if you wanna try something new, he'll let you to an extent but he won't do anything that comes with a dangerous outcome or health risk! like, sure, he might be down to try some new rope positions but he won't dare put chocolate sauce around his genitals. do you know the bacteria risks that can come with that??

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

i don't think he has very high stamina. it's not that he gets really sleepy after, but he can't go for multiple rounds. maybe two if it's been a long time since he's seen you. he can last a while though, i think. he won't cum the minute he engages in anything and with his anxiety, it may even take him a while to get to that point.

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he doesn't mind bringing out a vibrator because he knows how good it could make you feel. he doesn't like them on himself though! he doesn't mind taking a trip out to zuzu and hitting up a sex shop to buy some new bondage-y toys. they will be thoroughly cleaned though. why would nipple clamps be any less clean than forceps?

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

he doesn't do it with malice in his heart, trust me. he just likes seeing you on edge, waiting for him of all people, begging for more pleasure. he experiments to see how long you can go for, or how far he can drag out oral. he definitely enjoys it more than he'd let on. oh, and, i leave you with this, imagine harvey offering fake pity and cooing at you:

"my poor flower...you must want it so bad!"

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

keeps quiet, mostly. some interjections of grunts and groans, especially when he cums. he uses his voice more for sweet talk! he loves hearing your noises, though, and it gives him more encouragement than anything.

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

the first time you called him dr. harvey in a joking, yet somewhat flirtatious manner, he blushed and got incredibly flustered. then, you did it again, and it had the same effect. and then...oh lord. your hands were roaming his body and you, just testing the waters, called him dr. harvey and he could have finished right there.

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

he's big guys, i'm sorry. nerdy white men are always packing. i headcanon him as a big boy and it's only fitting that he's proportionate. more thickness than length. he was a little ashamed the first time you had sex but he realized just how good it feels and it makes him proud. big dick energy if you will.

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

i think he has a fluctuating sex drive. during flu and cold season, he is so stressed and likes to come back and make dinner, cuddle, and go to bed. however, during the summer, when everyone is healthy and only needs some aloe vera gel for sunburns, he could go day after day with you. it just all depends on his mood and the time of the year.

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he enjoys cuddling and talking after sex but give him an hour and the man is CONKED. he's the older bachelor so of course he's a sleepy man. cuddle up to his chest, open up the window to let fresh air or the sounds of rain float in, and he'll be like a baby.

#fanfic #fluff #harvey x reader #harvey stardew valley #harvey one shot #harvey #milh (man i love harvey) #alphabet #headcanon #harvey headcanon #stardew valley x reader #stardew valley #stardew valley headcanon

[steampunkishfoxes]

Clara Carmine headcanons

Note: I'm new to the fan content scene on Tumblr, still figuring things out! I’m going to be making headcanons based on different fictional characters I adore, from different franchises/fandoms!

Clara Carmine is the daughter of Carmilla Carmine, one of the overlords in the series Hazbin Hotel on Amazon Prime. She’s one of my favourite characters and I wanted to dedicate my first headcanon post to her! Clara only has about 10-15 seconds of screen time, and one spoken line, but I adore her!

NSFW/SFW, Mature themes: discussion of death, discussion of cartels, discussions of weapons and violence, discussion of murder and a planned attack on a family, family themes, sexuality, pronouns, discussions of blood.

PERSONALITY HEADCANONS.

The following headcanons discuss what I think she would’ve been like on earth and what she’s like in hell.

-Clara is the younger of the two sisters, about 18 years of age physically, her soul is around 25 years old.

-She identifies as a demigirl, with she/they pronouns.

-She used to struggle a lot with her sexuality, she never really saw the fun in boys, but never paid attention to girls either. With help from her sister she found out she was lesbian around the age of 16 on earth.

-She looks a lot like her father, but her personality is more like her mother.

-Fluent in English, Spanish and French, though she’s attempted to learn Portuguese too.

-She’s fiercely protective over Odette, when the two were in school on earth Clara was always the one who stood up for her older sister when she was bullied.

-She hasn’t lost her confidence after finding herself in hell. She isn’t afraid to fight any demon that hurts her sister or mother, but doesn’t often get the chance to fight because of Carmilla’s protective and motherly nature.

-In the Carmine weapons business she takes the role of delivery girl alongside her sister Odette.

-In her free time she plays music, she has a customised guitar she uses to write and record her own song covers- this girl can SING!

-She’s very active on Sinstagram, posting music covers for any listening ear.

-Clara owns one soul, a lackey from the cartel she worked for on earth, who came to the Carmines for protection.

ROOM HEADCANONS.

Because every demon needs a safe place to call home, these are the headcanons I have for Clara’s room in the Carmine Mansion, down in hell!

-Clara’s room has slate blue walls and is covered with posters and pictures, most of them depicting her family. She has a large family picture of her, her mother and sister in front of their business on her ceiling above her bed, so she can look up at it every night.

-She has a queen sized bed with matte royal blue covers and a lot of pillows.

-She has a wolf plushie, affectionately named Wolfie, which she’s had since she was 2 years old. Wolfie has a top hat and bowtie.

!!MATURE THEMES AHEAD!!: discussion of death, discussion of cartels, discussions of weapons and violence, discussion of murder and a planned attack on a family.

The following headcanons discuss the surroundings of Clara’s death.

Family headcanon: Carmilla’s ex husband left her shortly after Clara’s birth, leaving her with two young daughters in a broken city in Mexico. Carmilla entered the weapons business, working for a well known and dangerous cartel. She started out delivering weapons but learned how to make them for a bigger payout. As her daughters grew up, she took bigger, more risky jobs to be able to protect them. One night a rival gang broke into their house and killed the family in cold blood.

-Clara was the first of Carmilla’s daughters to find out about her mother’s secret job, finding her making weapons in the garage when she was about 12 years old. Carmilla asked her to stay silent, but Clara told her older sister immediately.

-She was also the first to enter the family business, stealing a package Carmilla was supposed to deliver to the cartel. Clara delivered it instead and used the money she earned to buy her mother a birthday present. Carmilla told her not to do that, but reluctantly let Clara help with simple, risk free deliveries. Clara was 15.

-Clara befriended one of the cartel members, a bodyguard.

-Clara was the first one to die in the attack. When she was 19, her mother and sister were asleep after watching a movie. Clara was dozing off when she was startled wide awake by pounding on the door.

-Before she could even open it, the door was kicked open, hitting her in the head. She fell, her and her family were quickly grabbed and restrained.

-Clara was dizzy from the hit and confused, she vaguely heard shouting and crying.

-The last thing she saw as a human was her family, her mother’s and sister's faces as she was shot in the chest, the first death in the Carmine home invasion. Clara was 18 when she died.

-Clara’s cause of death was determined to be blunt force trauma to the head, and a fatal shot to the heart.

-She hides the shot mark under her shirt, ashamed of the moment she let her guard down.

LIKES/DISLIKES HEADCANONS.

Foods, colours, animals, and everything in between!

-Food: Anything spicy is a big hit! She hates bland and boring food and will often add peppers or some kind of hot sauce for that perfect kick with every meal! Except for breakfast, she’ll never try cereal with hot sauce again.

-Colours: Black, dark shades of green and blue. She’s not a fan of red, reminding her of the blood she saw on her hands when she died.

-Animals: Wolves, wolves, WOLVES! She loves any canine but mostly wolves! They remind her of how fiercely protective she is over her family! She doesn’t like birds, they creep her out.

-Music: Besides her own music, she loves music from her heritage! Flamenco, salsa, she’ll listen and sing along to it all! Classical music is a BORE though, it always makes her so sleepy.

-Movies: She was never huge on movies, but when she was little, she always watched the movie Balto, dreaming of snow. She hates movies with blood, it reminds her of her own weakness.

-A weird collection she has: Heart shaped stuff! If she’s out in the city and she sees a cool rock shaped vaguely like a heart, she’ll pocket it and show it to her family at home, some of her hearts are questionable, but she loves it all!

-A guilty pleasure: Watching the sunset from her balcony. It’s quiet and simple, she’s loved it since she was a kid.

-Her biggest fear: Being unable to try and protect her family, like when she died. She can’t handle the weak, pathetic feeling, she may have panic attacks when thinking about it.

CHARACTER HEADCANONS

How does Clara fall into the ensemble of hell? Who would she bond with, and who would she hate?

-Who from the entire cast would she hate the most?

The Vees, mainly Velvette, because of how she treats her mother.

-If she met the Hazbin Hotel staff and inhabitants, who would she bond with?

Vaggie, both are strong souls with a tragic past!

-Who would she most likely have a song with? About what?

With her mother and sister, a song about protecting each other no matter what, almost like an “Out for love” reprise

Thank you for reading all the way through!! I’m planning on making way more headcanons in the future! Feel free to ask for specific characters/headcanons in the comments!

A list of future projects:

-Odette Carmine

-Carmilla Carmine

-Zestial Morde

-Lute

-Adam

#carmilla carmine #clara carmine #odette carmine #hazbin hotel

[corseque]

in my life I’ve written a lot, but I’ve never revised anything. It’s always just come out of me and I had this feeling that since it came out that way, that’s the way it is. Especially with the Internet, things seem permanent. But I know that’s not how writing is supposed to work, and it actually just makes the whole process slow and frightening and painful. Like, I know that.

So for the very first time, I’m revising a story and trying to learn how to do… that. revisions. How to revise. I’ve honestly never really done even a second draft before. this is all new territory for me. Hopefully, if I’m successful, it will help me be able to think “oh I can revise that” in the future which will help with my confidence. I can go into a project and see the flaws and not obsess because I’ll have confidence that they aren’t flaws in my character or intelligence. Why is this whole process so fraught? Anyway I’m revising a couple things with Wizard Story before I post it to Tumblr, so it’s going to be a little expanded and arranged.

I told all the story secrets to my cousin so I could talk it out and try to hash out my issues, and she kept pausing to say “wow, that’s cool. Your ideas for little magic details are so cool” so that’s the only thing keeping me going

#Wizard Story #I tried to be cool with just reposting it but it’s just… if you knew the things I know you too would struggle #I’m going to struggle and really learn how to revise #I really don’t know how it’s done. It’s ludicrous at my age

[thatsmistertoyou]

despite being on tumblr at the height of superwholock and watching the other 2 shows, I’ve never seen any Sherlock to this day

so I can confidently report the things I learned secondhand like 10 years ago:

Johnlock is definitely real despite John being married and Sherlock not being interested in anyone really. too concerned with being Smart and being mad at the hot priest guy from fleabag

those gifs of him swiping away manifestations of his thoughts are real somehow and not just that meme of a lady looking at equations

there’s a secret good episode that somehow explains everything. this episode doesn’t exist

corollary to this one: it’s bad on purpose. to. make you think? for no discernible purpose?

he fakes his own death and they never explain how he managed to survive a fall off a building???

Sherlock deduced that someone was an alcoholic bc they didn’t put their phone charger in on the first try every time???? that is genuinely the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. I didn’t see any jokes about it until relatively recently and that blew my fucking mind. that’s WRITING.

there were only like 10 fucking episodes of the whole thing and it took just as many years to make. how

do not correct me <3

also seriously, what was the deal with johnlock. not to be like ‘my queerbait was better’ but really, what was the hook with them? where is the spice? why did that ship have this website in a chokehold? I need to know

#mine #please feel free to explain any of this to me in the notes but only if it’s funny #I do want an explanation for johnlock tho #also this is all in jest #I myself live in a glass house made of 12 seasons of supernatural that I watched #we’re all friends here #we all got played by dumb shit who resented their most passionate fan base

[feyhunter78]

I was just curious, do you make a scheduled for yourself for when you post things? or do you just post when things are done? also do you have a method on writing faster?

Hi love! So I have a sorta schedule, here's how it works:

AO3: I post on AO3 first, usually right after I finish writing and editing a chapter. Sometimes I write more than one chapter, but only post one, though, because I want to have something to post in case I don't have time or inspo the next day or so.

Tumblr: I let the chapter sit for a day or three on AO3 bc I want to see if I made any translation mistakes, lore mistakes, or want to tweak anything! Then it gets posted here!

Which is why I always tell people if they want more to go check out my AO3 bc more chapter will be there. You also get the little author notes where I usually put extra info or explanations!

For writing faster, I have four main tips:

1.) Write what you have inspiration for, that's really how I get stuff out so fast, I'm obsessed with what I'm writing, so I have a lot of ideas and energy for it!

2.) Just sit down and write, I'm lucky my job has a lot of downtime, so I get to write in secret during the workday! Also, I got my degree in this, which is not necessary by any means, there are so many amazing fic writers who did not get a degree in this. So I spent four years learning how to write well, and fast. There were so many papers and assignments I had to get in before a deadline that it's ingrained in my brain.

3.) Dual povs, when I get stuck on a section or feel a lack of inspo, switching it over to another character allows me to look at it from a fresh take or completely skip over what I'm stuck on! Now, this can make things a bit harder if you're not super confident in writing the internal motion of the secondary character.

4.) Okay, this one is kinda weird and might seem counterproductive, but it really helps me. Allow yourself to get off track and write random scenes, even ones for other fics. I can't tell you how many times I was writing Pink Pastels and would write a smut scene or dialogue for Among the Sun or my Carmy fics and vice versa. Getting that bit of energy out, and giving myself a break from the OG fic helped me focus back in and write faster.

Hope this helps! Feel free to reach out with any other questions, I love talking about writing!!!!

#meg talks #mail time #meg uses her degree for something actually relevant to it #writing tips

[deannagrey]

A Mendell Christmas: Part Two

A/N: I meant to have this up so much sooner! The end of the year was far busier than I expected. And because I had to take care of some personal things, my writing became a low priority. Thankfully, I finally have time to sit down again.

This Christmas project became far longer than I expected (I still have one more part to post). When I finished this part, I hesitated to share it because it didn't feel exciting or interesting. It felt too cheesy. But then I remembered how much I used to write when I was younger. And how much I used to just want to have fun. So, I've decided that's what all my posts on this Tumblr will be: simple fun. The characters might be all over the place, the dialogue might sound weird, and there probably won't be any real plot. But I want a space to have fun again. Writing as a job has been a blessing but it's not my escape anymore. I miss it being my escape.

So, for the year ahead I want to post random writing on this blog! Stories, shorts, and snapshots of characters that may or may not be in my published books. This is my sandbox. My place for quiet moments with the characters I love. I hope you enjoy this quiet moment with Finn and Sam. I had so much fun being back in their heads and spending more time with them.

Happy New Year! I hope 2024 brings you everything you desire. I hope you enjoy these small moments too.

(Also apologies for any inaccuracies! I'm Florida-born & raised, I don't know how frozen lake fishing works and didn't want to do research for such a small piece of writing lol)

Finn 

“We’re going on a road trip,” Sam said as he joined me in the kitchen.

“When?” I stirred sugar into Naomi’s morning tea.

“As soon as you get your shoes on,” he said. 

I looked up, noting how he was already dressed. “Are we in a hurry?”

“Oh yeah.” Sam glanced at the time on his phone. “Should have left here an hour ago.”

“You’re not going to get everyone else ready on such a tight schedule. You know Henrik’s going to need at least an hour to make food to pack.”

“Well it’s a good thing they’re not invited, isn’t it?” 

I raised my brow at Sam’s smile. It’s the first time I’ve seen his smile reach his eyes since Aderyn asked for space and time. There’s a lightness to his energy. An excitement I’ve been trying to draw out of him for weeks. I kept failing over and over until disappointment became an all too familiar feeling. 

Being there for Naomi felt like putting on custom-made skates with the blades perfectly sharpened for a smoothed rink surface. When trying to comfort the guys, I was in secondhand skates, trying to stay upright on an uneven, frozen lake. 

Maybe today could be different. Sam was already primed for a good time. All I had to do was lean in and try to summon a bit of old Finn energy. Some part of me must remember how to be a good friend to him. If not, I'd learn. I'd already learned how to talk to people again…kind of.

“What’s the destination?” I asked while topping off Naomi’s drink with oat milk. 

“A trip down memory lane,” Sam said. “It’s my not-so-secret Santa gift.”

My stomach jumped, curiosity making me more alert. I’d been vehemently against learning about my past earlier this semester. But after finding my own rhythm and becoming more confident in the person I was now, I couldn’t help but harbor a bit of wonder about what I’d left behind. What memories I’d once shared now only belonged to one person. 

“That cool with you?” Sam asked just in case. “It’s fine if not. I know you’ve been hesitant but figured—or maybe hoped—you were more comfortable with it now that things seem to be better for you. You're more settled.”

“Umm…” My mind was trying to catch up to everything. 

“I got a far more traditional gift option as a plan B,” Sam offered. 

“No, I mean, yeah, I’m cool with that. With the memory lane,” I said quickly. My curiosity evolved into nerves. What if I didn’t like it and that fucked up his mood again? I wasn’t good at faking happiness. Hell, I was barely good at expressing happiness even when it was genuine. 

“Relax,” Sam said gently. “If you hate it we’ll come right back, no questions asked.”

The muscles in my shoulders loosened a bit. 

“Sound good?” he asked.

“Sounds great,” I assured.

Sam

Whenever Finn was keeping something to himself, he became an excessive throat clearer. Even after his accident that hadn’t changed. On the ride out of town, I listened to his symphony of nerves. And let him go on until I decided to throw him a line.

“It’s a good memory,” I promised and smiled over at him. “If that does anything to help your anxiety.” 

Finn grunted, pretending to be more interested in whatever he was doing on his phone. 

“A memory that'll make you feel all fuzzy and warm,” I teased. "Like the teddy bear, you truly are thanks to Naomi."  

He rolled his eyes. “That so?”

“Yup.” I put on my turning signal, pulling off of the busy highway. 

Finn and I used to be inseparable when we were in middle school. As we got older we were far less codependent but still close. Close enough for it to sting like hell when I realized he wasn’t going to remember most of what we’d been through. 

Sometimes, when I looked at Finn, I saw the guy who used to sneak me an extra Jello in the lunch room because he knew how rough the first half of my day was. Sometimes I saw the hothead who’d threaten anyone who hurt me even though most of the time he was far outnumbered. Sometimes I saw the guy who told me I’d be the best choice for captain despite my then doubts. Those parts of him were still there and alive. So even if the parts of him we shared were forever gone, I found comfort in those memories. 

“It’s not my goal to try and spark something,” I said gently. “Today is just for fun. We really loved this place. I still do and I figured you should see it and maybe…I don’t know, you might find some joy here too. What was that thing you told me about muscle memory?” 

“I can always count on it.”

“Exactly. I wanted you to feel that this year. Remember you can have something to count on and a place to go if you need.” 

It was quiet for a minute as I made our final turn. Finn cleared his throat once more before saying, “Thanks…for letting me know you’re not trying to trigger a memory. I like the idea of just being here…with you.” 

“Look at us, a couple of assholes with hearts. What have Naomi and Aderyn done to us…?” My mood shifted slightly at my mention of Aderyn. I chewed on my bottom lip, hoping Finn didn’t sense my brief dip in energy. Unfortunately, he’s getting better at reading between the lines. 

“I don’t know how to get you to talk about it,” Finn confessed. “I’m sure there was a method I used before.”

“It’s fine,” I said quickly. “I usually mope around until one of you guys gets pissed enough to drag it out of me. You weren’t the only one to try and help.” 

“I know but…I was your person, right? Your main person.”

My main person. That’d shifted over the years. I bounced between all the guys. And now, Aderyn was in that mix. She could have probably been at the center of it if things hadn’t gotten so twisted. 

“You still are.” I pulled into a parking spot that faced the river. 

“I just have to figure out how to make you talk,” he said. 

“Don't stress about it too much. I'm good. Or, will be good eventually." 

Finn followed my lead out of the car. He watched as I unloaded a gym bag and a couple of folding chairs from the trunk. He was quiet until he saw me check the bag for my ice pick. 

“We’re not secretly murderers, are we?” he asked when he saw my stash. 

I snorted. I'm sure he was joking but Finn’s deadpan delivery often left me with some uncertainty. 

“Nope. Just two fishermen are about to waste their time while the sun comes up.” 

Finn frowned when I tossed him the extra bag of supplies. “We’re going out there?” 

His finger pointed toward the frozen lake. Snowfall had been sparse this morning. The lake would be picturesque once the sun leaked over the horizon. We were already getting a sneak peek of what the morning would have to offer, so I decided to hurry Finn up. 

“Correct me if I’m wrong but we don’t feel like people who fish,” Finn called after me. 

I laughed as I continued our trek forward. The snow crunched underneath my boots. “We weren’t until we met Mr. Meyers."

 Finn paused for a second. "Mr. Meyers?" 

I froze too, my stomach jumping with excitement. "You remember?" 

"Not at all."

It was hard to mask my slight disappointment. Sometimes – when I least expected – it hurts to hold memories on my own.

 "Meyers was an old guy who spent all his free time over there during the summer." I pointed to the boardwalk about a half mile away. "And around here in the winter." 

I gestured to the middle of the lake. At our backs was the parking lot and to our front a dark, thick tree line that was covered in frost. It smelled like sixth grade out here, all pine needles and frozen earth. 

"We met him out here when we decided we would become Boy Scouts." I unfolded the chairs and pulled out our Thermos. Henrik had enough time to force me into packing something warm to drink. I was grateful for his persistence now that the cold wind was biting at our skin. Finn let out an agreeing sigh when I offered him the Thermos. 

"We were Boy Scouts?" Finn asked. 

"No, not officially." I chuckled at his look of confusion. "We wanted to be but your folks couldn't afford the annual membership at the time and wouldn't accept the money from my dad."

He nodded. "I suppose I wouldn't have either. At least not now…it doesn't feel right."

"You're stubborn. Always have been, always will be," I agreed. "But I would have convinced you to take it if your parents didn't have the final say. But, anyway, we decided we'd be Boy Scouts on our own. And that meant earning badges on our own. Of course, our first attempt couldn't be something simple like learning to tie a knot. No, we wanted to fish in the dead of winter. Like someone in a post-apocalyptic Arctic landscape, as you put it – you were really into post-apocalyptic books back then." 

"Was I?" Finn nodded and undoubtedly tucked that information away for later like he always did with tidbits I shared. 

"Hardcore. So you had me out here hammering away at the ice with a screwdriver." I laughed at the memory of us on our hands and knees, trying to chip away the ice with runny noses and burning ears. "Mr. Meyers saw and got on us until he was blue in the face. When we finally got a word in, we let him know that we weren't trying to crack through the lake and drown. But we were trying to be resourceful members of society. He folded then and decided as a former boy scout himself, it was his job to teach us everything he knew." 

Finn smiled and I motioned for him to come closer. I talked him through how Mr. Meyers showed us the way to create a clean circle in the ice. I explained how we were supposed to pick a spot where the ice was thickest and the cracks were little to non-existent. 

"He made us badges," I said when we settled into our seats. "Whenever we learned something new and proved ourselves to him, he'd have these incredibly unique badges that'd he designed from scratch. The guys at school got so jealous that some of them quit the Boy Scouts and wanted to be taught under Meyers." 

"Did they?" 

I shook my head and pulled out our fishing rods. "Meyers wouldn't teach anyone but me and you. Said he only had enough time and energy for two pupils. And he only had enough extra cash for two sets of badges. For a moment, we were the cool kids…until people decided Boy Scouts were dorky and gaming was everything." 

"Sounds like we had a lot of fun." Finn smiled. Maybe he was playing the spoken memory over in his head, trying to fill in details to construct something he'd be able to recall. Or maybe he was simply smiling because I hadn't stopped. I felt good today. Better than I had in a while and that's because I enjoyed being outside. I enjoyed the open sky, the chilled air, and being able to sit across from Finn. I loved my friends but these quiet moments with Finn were few and far between. After almost losing him, I cherished this. 

"I'm sorry," I said, my smile fading when I realized what I'd done. 

"Huh?" Finn frowned. 

"I…I brought you here as a gift but just realized–" I sighed and ran my hand over my head. "This was more of a gift for me than you. I was being selfish bringing you here. I thought it'd be nice to get away and be like we used to but this doesn't mean much to you." 

"Sam, this is good. This is fun," Finn said firmly. "I'm having fun." 

The tightness in my chest loosened. "Really?"

"I'm not a good liar just yet," he reminded me with a smile. 

"True." I laughed in agreement and leaned over to bait my hook. Finn did the same, listening to my instructions on how to do it. He watched me toss the line in before mimicking my motion. 

"I have something else for you," I announced once our hooks had sunk. "You didn't get to earn your last badges because, like the other guys at school, you thought Boy Scouts were dorky." 

"Really?" Finn's forehead furrowed as if he was disappointed in himself. 

"Yeah, but I kept coming to hang out with Meyers," I said. "Got a couple more badges until he got sick." 

"Is he…" Finn paused, not sure how to finish. 

"He's fine," I quickly confirmed. "Lives in Florida now with his granddaughter." 

Finn nodded, relieved for a man he didn't remember but would forever be tied to through me. 

"I got him to send over the badges you didn't get to earn." I dug through my bag and pulled them out. I'd wrapped each one in green and red striped paper. They were misshaped and poorly taped up presents but Finn accepted them like they were precious pieces of gold. 

"You can't open them yet," I reminded him. Lincoln wanted all of us to open them together. Since a fishing trip couldn't be wrapped, I figured it was best to do it before Christmas. But, the tangible gifts were to be kept for later. 

"But you when do–" I shrugged and laughed, feeling silly all of a sudden. "--we could finish earning them together. Like, gradually, throughout the year when we have time. I already have mine so I could make sure to teach you how to do it. Teach you in a way I'm sure Meyers will be proud–at least, I hope. You could finally fill up your sash–even though it's probably collecting dust in your family's basement and you don't care like that. But lately, you've been really into renovating the house and you look like you used to when we were kids." 

"That's why I like doing it," Finn said as he took a deep breath. "I think the muscle memory part of me liked figuring out the practical." 

I smiled. "I think so too. It's a part of you." 

"This was perfect, Sam. I…thank you." Finn looked back down at his badges, which now felt like pieces of himself he didn't know were missing. "I can't wait to earn these with you." 

"Not too dorky anymore, is it?" I teased. 

He shook his head. "Not in the slightest." 

We were quiet for a moment, enjoying the sun's heat as it crawled up in the sky and the warm tea that I'd accidentally put too much sugar in. The fish never bit. Finn never remembered Meyers on his own. But none of that mattered. We were happy. We were once again on track to earn badges. Once again trying to figure shit out together. 

#mendellhawksseries

[rescue-ram]

HAVE YOU READ THIS BOOK??

Saw a post about "formative gay books from your youth" which set off my third fruitless quest for a YA novel I read once when I was like 12 and has lived rent free in my head ever since. Objectively, as an adult, when I reflect on the scenes it burned into my neurons, I acknowledge it was probably not that great. But it made 12 year old me have insanely complicated feelings and it's MADDENING I can find no trace of this novel.

I've searched several times over the years, and just tonight spent an hour going through Amazon, WorldCat, Google Books, Goodreads, and like three other book search databases to no avail. My last hope is that someone on Tumblr has also read this novel and recognizes it.

If any of the below ring a bell, PLEASE let me know!

Young adult novel published prior to 2008

Set in a Houston art school. I might be having false memories that it was specifically the High School for the Performing and Visual Arts.

Centered around two boys- an extremely shy visual artist and a very confident but secretly depressed writer.

Very shy boy might've had selective mutism? Definitely had a strained relationship with his family

At the beginning of the novel, shy boy has to submit a portrait for admission to school. He initially draws a caricature of himself wearing art like armor, but his mom laughs at him and tells him he misunderstood the instructions and he was supposed to write a personal essay. Shy boy struggles with this.

There was a weirdly vivid metaphor about social anxiety being like being eaten by wolves? There was also a very vivid description of being a puppet or marionette.

There was a conflict over shy boy wanting to do cartooning but having to learn painting instead?

He was initially intimidated by confident boy, but confident boy sees his cartoons and really likes them

As they get closer confident boy opens up about feeling crushed by pressure and expectations of others, conflict with his family as well? He may have been self-harming?

They keep their friendship a secret and it's either extremely homoerotic or confident boy was explicitly gay. I do not remember clearly. It gets very intense and shy boy is conflicted and uncomfortable about the secrets he's keeping.

At the end of the book, confident boy kills himself in a way that looks like a tragic accident. He intentionally overdoses on medication that induces a heart attack, but injects into a healing injury on his arm so there's no puncture marks. He leaves a suicide note for shy boy, encouraging him to be himself and be a great artist, but to tell no one confident boy killed himself because he doesn't want his family to be upset?

Shy boy is traumatized and initially keeps the secret, but at the end of the book opens up to... Someone. One of the teachers? It ends on a bittersweet but hopeful note that now shy boy is opening up and is forming healthier relationships.

As an adult, this summary sounds rather maudlin, but I remember being really struck by the writing style as a kid, especially the imagery and descriptions. I just feel crazy that this book really affected middle school me and then seemingly disappeared into the ether. If you have any idea what I'm talking about, PLEASE let me know!

#book search #bookblr #looking for a book #readblr #help finding a book #litblr #please god someone help this has been driving me nuts for years

[penumbramewtwos]

Happy (late) New Year to all of my Friends, Mutuals, Followers, and Peeps I'm following… (and most likely have a restraining order out against me xD) I love you all (platonically)

I wasn't going to do one of these because I felt as if I wasn't worthy of making one >.< I've only been on Tumblr for roughly half a year. But you've all made me feel so welcome and cherished in your own way; passively or actively. I initially made this profile to just say 'HI' to TC96, their blog was one of my main influences.

I then built of the courage to share my Fanfic online (that I swore was going to stay with me)…. One thing led to another, Now I want to draw my character(s) and learning new artistic things everyday… I never thought in my life thus far that I would make any friends, I find it hard to portray what I mean on a social level, and in general writing. I'm also sorry to anyone I've made unintentionally go "??? WTH's she on about???" Thank you for being patient and understanding over these months. I will be a better communicator as time goes by. After having an online incident happen to me a decade ago, I swore I would never interact with anyone online ever again… Be careful with what you share about yourself online is all I can say… We all have skeletons in the closet that haunt us, and toy with our sanity. (Now, after isolating myself for a decade with my partner, this has been the best decision I've ever made).

@xhunterbeatsx You're One of my first followers, and although that's special enough, I can't thank you enough for your support and encouragement. If you're wondering what do I mean by this? You've been both indirectly and directly influencing my dopamine output with your art and kind words. You made the first Fanart of my OC which I cherish dearly, apart from making me cry, it encouraged me to peruse art further. Thank you again.

@martysgachaworld Although the time we've known eachother has been short, I can't thank you enough for bringing out a confident side in myself. It took years of encouragement/help from psychologists to help me come to terms with my biology, but, I always felt shy about portraying my sexuality publically… Now after talking with you, I feel proud to say I am Lesbian. Not just "Oh… I'm asexual… My partner is a woman…" changes the conversation. … You've been through so much in this short time that I've known you, and, as always I want to say, that all of your friends are here for you, and love you very much (platonically).

@paradoxiusblack Also one of my first followers. Your art always impresses me, as well as the detail that you've put into your OC's. I find you thoughtful, kind, and genuine… And also a little silly sometimes :> (Happy Birthday again)

@secret-mewtwo Thank you for introducing me to Discord, I've never felt more included in my life, and it is mostly your doing :P I your art is fucking phenomenal.

@crepetwo You put up with my derpy shit, that means the world to me. Your personal artstyle, and creativity always makes me impressed (we are now Fanfic rivals btw)

@the-project-and-the-ghost Thanks for letting me express myself in DM's, and trusting me enough to express yourself back to me, it's hard to trust, and you put up with my dumbassness a lot. I promise to be better at social/written comprehension, and being a better friend in the future

@ricksoo You just put up with me, that's the fucking best xD I appreciate you very much

@mewwho @noodleartz Both of your art styles and personalities make me smile whenever we interact. Thanks for all your encouragement on many occasions. I promise I'll be better at comprehension in the future, thanks for putting up with me :>

@droberrymewtwo629 Thanks for introducing me to the RP's on Discord :3 they're always fun and make me feel like I can be a little silly.

@xxtc-96xx @pokemon-ash-aus @mewtwoandme @comedydoctor18 @faeforge @dxzziie @mewcrew @dizzydaisygettinglazy Although I felt nervous (to the point of scared) about talking/interacting with any of you, I've realised you're all human(or a friendly Mewtwo xD), and it's a privilege to have such lovable large-audienced artists feel so close… I also love your Art/blogs/storylines. Did i mention that? xD

@blues-sues @kantaroth Your art and art styles are so beautifully unique to you both, they're narratively perfect in their own way, and give me encouragement to keep going with my own art (I LOVE PIP!!! MA BABY!!!)

@zeal-strikerl Thanks for putting up with my 'Here's an animal piccy' on Discord, I wanna interact with Demontwo one day >:D!!

@esmam1ss2n9shu773r @wren-idkfeather Both of you are so very kind to everyone who you interact with, and some of our down to earth rebloggs/comments have made me feel more together when i've been down in the dumps. Thank you.

There are so many more of you which have made me feel welcome… this is just the tip of the Iceberg…

THANK YOU!!!

#thank you #happy new year #Mewtwo blog #beginner artist #fanfic #tumblr friends #feeling proud #i love you all

[iloveyou-writers]

I'm a writer. I've technically been a writer for a long time, but I stopped around 2019 and have recently decided to get back into writing because there were a few artists/writers who inspired me so much that I wanted to write a story. As I'm sitting here and typing out this ask, I have not only gained the confidence to upload my story out to the world, but I have a full timeline based around that story that I want to eventually share with everyone on Tumblr and the website where I upload my story.

However..., when I uploaded my more recent chapters, I started to feel...kind of jealous. Don't get me wrong, I love the people who take the time to read each of my chapters (and I know who some of my true followers are and I love them to death), but sometimes..., it gets hard for me to see other artists/writers to get hundreds and thousands of likes on any their stuff while I'm lucky to get a comment/like on my work.

So I wanted to ask you how do/did you get through it? How do/did you get through those though days where you see other artists/writers getting popular each and every day while you feel like you're putting all your effort into something and no one bats an eye?

I'm sorry this is a long ask, but this has been something that's been on my mind for a while that I wanted to ask. I saw some posts you made when you were sourpatch-encouragement and seeing those words of encouragement meant (and still mean) so much to me. I can't tell you how many times I teared up reading your posts cause it's such so nice to hear those positive words of encouragement during the tough days.

Thank you for everything. :) Your positivity, your encouragement, no matter what it is, I (as well as a few other people I bet) love everything you do to help encourage writers and artists. Thank you for being you. ❤️

First of all, thank you for the last part. Even the encourager needs encouragement that what they're doing and saying is helpful and making an impact sometimes, so thank you <3

Okay, so now to get into the question...

Honestly, I've been being asked "how do you/did you do this" a lot lately, mostly by my husband who's dealing with the death of a parent for the first time...

And I truly don't know. I just... do? I think I've just built such a hardened shell of stubbornness that even when I'm feeling discouraged, I just push through it? I've also got to be honest, I've restarted tumblr a lot. I've had many blogs.

Sometimes just getting a fresh start could really help because I could recurate my blog into whatever I wanted and sometimes having that freedom was enough to restart my brain in a way and allow me to give my all and learn from what did and didn't catch people's attention.

I'm also not a person that really cares about numbers. I mean, I do and I don't. I write because I adore the process of writing. Writing has literally saved me on so many occasions, so to me the act of writing itself is fulfilling enough not to need all the excess attention.

But you want my little secret that REALLY helped me?

It's friends. Having friends that I knew loved my writing, whose writing I loved. Having friends I could roleplay with when I was feeling discouraged about my WIPs... having friends that could reignite my fire when it was fizzling out... friends are a HUGE part of what has kept my fire burning for writing, especially at the beginning. :)

I do still get envious sometimes. No, I don't put all of my stock into stats but sometimes when you write paragraphs and paragraphs of writing, put in so much heart and effort into something and only get a few responses but then someone writes like one or two vague sentences and it blows up, it can be disheartening. But that's my problem. For me, it's a matter of "if I'm getting jealous, then I need to step back and reevaluate where my values really lie with this. Am I really doing this out of passion for it or do I want it to get attention."

I've done a lot of research on "marketing onesself." I actually have bought a few books on it, one that I'm passionately in love with... and that's also helped with my confidence, because I know if what I want IS for my writing to get seen and fire people up about it, I have tools to do so :)

--

So long story short: it's really hard. There are a lot of things I've had to do in response to these kinds of feelings. I think all writers deal with them on some level. But just know that your writing is still wonderful and still matters and makes a difference to those silent readers who may just be nervous and shy to interact with your works (and realizing that has been immensely helpful to me too with relaxing over the note jealousy).

Hope my prattling helps 😅

#on: note jealousy #writers of tumblr #writer tips #writer help #writer encouragement #jealousy is not necessarily a bad thing #it can push us to be better and do better #but just don't let it consume you okay nons? #<3 #asks #anonymous

[myimaginedcorner]

A TUMBLR STORY: TORN PAGE (p.33)

PREVIOUS RESULT: "Of course not," you lied. Only M would know.

M stared at you, at first, a little doubtful, then, a little curious. They didn’t interfere nor tried to claim their truth; they simply listened.

“Then, why did it move?” insisted Amani, ceaseless. Looking at her, taking your time to answer, you wondered if her brain and heart were coated by a thicker layer, just like Laefen’s skin resembled bark.

“Most likely, there was still some residual magic left in that arm. When I tried to analyse the golem, it reacted against my energy and tried to activate the guard again. However, there was so little left that it died before anything major could happen,” you explained, arms behind your back.

Amani glanced at Ashna and Hibiscus. The former nodded, finding the lie plausible; the latter frowned but kept it to herself. With a scoff, your leader stared you down again. You didn’t look away.

“So, you are telling me that you almost activated the protocols again, with our fighter down?”

“I was gathering data on the abnormal construct.”

“You could have killed us.”

“I was fulfilling my role as a scholar. It is not my responsibility to monitor our safety.”

You saw the anger in her fiery eyes get suffocated, for you were correct. Fists clenched, your leader took a deep breath.

“Be more careful next time. Laefen is hurt.”

You nodded, watching her return to help your fighter up. The elf looked a little pale but overall, alive, nothing he couldn’t heal in a few days of rest. Catching your gaze, he grinned, playing tough.

“Isn’t this a harder job than we thought?” he even managed to chuckle with a playful wink.

“There are some unexpected factors in play,” you agreed, coming a little closer. Ashna occupied a place beside you; their worried wince made the rogue sigh.

“Calm down, this is not my first stab,” Laefen reached out to pat Ashna’s head. “I’m here to be a beating sack, you know that.”

“You’re here to protect us…” mumbled your dear friend.

“Same thing.”

“What if something attacks while you recover?”

“Amani will make sure our journey remains safe until then,” you asserted.

Ashna’s eyes delved into yours, searching for a lie within that confidence. You smiled, watching them relax; their trust felt intoxicating.

“Let’s go.”

Amani’s order wasn’t a surprise. There was so much more to be discovered in that dungeon – however, your fighter was wounded, and the moving guard inspired doubts as to your safety. Your goal was far from here, so, you had no reason to risk it all on secondary exploration. There would be a team sent to discover the wall’s secrets. Someone else.

While sunset’s light was dim and stained orange, it was still blinding when you first emerged from the dark maze. Pausing at the entrance, you got enthralled by the dozy view, a field that you had walked before now feeling different. You saw it breathing, like the earth had become Goddess once again and you stood on Her lungs. A horrifying thought after the war; however, it didn’t scare you. It was alive, yes, but no divine lay asleep under your feet: it was a myriad of smaller, insignificant souls, connected by green strings that sparkled here and there like precious gems.

“You changed,” next to you, Hibiscus stopped, too, admiring the same landscape. Her deep, old eyes scrutinised your lost expression, and by the time you noticed her presence, she had already learned all that she wished to know. So, you simply nodded. You had changed indeed.

The camp was built not too far from the walls, utilising its imposing presence to enjoy a peaceful night. No animals would dare approach the place so soon after, and no sentients travelled in the dark so close to the eerie ruins. Customs would take time to change, and for now, you were the only ones who knew. Tonight was safe.

Amani sat in her tent, writing a report on your most recent discovery. This one would be sent out sooner, using magic, straight to Nainrhani. There, a new expedition would be formed, and the secrets that the wall had stored would finally find ears and mouths to recount their story. The wall would come alive again.

Hibiscus and M shared space before the fire, reading. Occasionally, you caught glimpses thrown towards you; yet they remained on place, attempting nothing. Laefen lay nearby, warmed by the flames – while his wounds healed quicker than your average creature, he still needed time and strength, and so, sleep was in order. You doubted that he was asleep already, he seemed like the nervous kind; however, it was better than him wondering the fields around you, dripping blood.

“Hey,” a familiar voice called you. You didn’t have to turn to know who sat by your side, your shoulders slightly brushing. A smile immediately curved your lips, your gaze hijacked by sparkling stars that brought you warmth and joy. You could stare into them until the end of times, forgetting everything else. A horrifying thought for an elf; however, you didn’t notice. Perhaps, you didn’t care.

“I brought you something,” Ashna’s playful smile made your heart rush. It took you a second to realise they held something in their hands, wrapped in a piece of cloth meant to be used as bandages.

“What is it?” you asked, curious, taking it.  

“See it for yourself.”

#torn page #tumblr story #tumblr community #new page

[lilacsareinbloomagain]

Can I request a Yandere!Impulse x Reader fic? preferably male reader but idm if not. In terms of plot, can you write something where he stalks the reader + takes pictures of them, and the reader ends up finding his 'collection' of photos. If not then just general yan hcs or smth is fine! Ty - 🌠 (Stargazer Anon)

First of all, thank you for being my first request, stargaze anon :]

Notes: I'm gonna pretend I'm confident in writing this. It's probably gonna be ooc and for that I am very sorry 😭

Already letting you guys know I am new to Tumblr and also sorry if there are any errors.

Yes, "chat" are viewers, this is C! and not CC! I don't do yandere content creators. Minecraft is real in this, please understand my logic here.

I meant for it to be male reader, I swear, but since I was sleepy at the time I wrote, it ended up being in a headcannon type of way, which means almost no dialogue so the gender is not mentioned. I also write in second person a lot so there's also that.

TWs: Yandere, probably ooc Impulse, stalking, kidnapping and someone taking pics of you.

C! Yandere ImpulseSV x Reader

What fear of rejection can cause

The first time Impulse caught a glimpse of you was during 3rd life.

His first feeling towards you was confusion. You were collecting wood at a random forest just by the time he was passing by it, some people would call it fate.

You were talking to your chat, small creatures that resembled allays, each of them with different personalities and distinguishing features. It took him a few seconds to remember who you were, he had never seen you before, having found out about you through Grian when he told everyone he had invited an old friend of his to the 3rd life server. Looking briefly over your features which matched with the ones his avian friend mentioned was all it took for him to shrug it off, not yet deeming you an enemy.

As expected from him, he went to chat with you, introduce himself and link a face to a name. Your chat seemed pleasantly surprised with his sudden appearance, excitedly chirping while spinning around your head and his, their little sounds unintelligible to his ears even though you could hear them yell his name very clearly. Impulse caught on to what they were doing quickly, having already gone through the same situation many times with other people. He smiled at the small beings and waved.

The first conversation of you guys was okay, awkward, if you were to describe it as anything else. After that the both of you just decided to keep to yourselves, having mutual allies and friends who kept you two together, sometimes saying "hi" when you crossed paths. Nothing else was going on between you other than that.

Impulse was curious, something about you just wouldn't let him be in peace.

Sure, you guys didn't quite click when you first met, but there had to be something about you, right? Grian was friends with you for years, the others, your newfound friends, seemed to nearly mirror Grian's bond with you despite having just met you, despite not knowing you as long as he did.

Impulse should have been guilty, it couldn't have been right to follow you around like that, in secret even. But to be fair, he was guilty at the start. He even gave up following you the first time he decided to do so, but the second time… The second time he figured he had a reasonable excuse. He wanted to know more about you so that the awkwardness wouldn't happen the next time he tried to befriend you! So that you guys would click like you did with the others, you eventually would.

Hesitation kept him from even approaching you, he got used to just seeing you interact with the world and the others around you from an outsider's point of view and imagining himself going through such situations with you according to that. He didn't want to ruin the fantasy or his chance at befriending you, he knew you were a kind person, but one could only ruin so many chances, so for now, he would stick to learning more about you.

At first, this was all there was to it, curiosity, then, you started seeming like such a good friend! Perhaps your kindness was what charmed him even more, treating his friends kindly brought you some extra points in his book, the one you knew nothing about.

Kindness could only get you so far, you had come across Etho as he was messing with redstone, the redstone Impulse recognized as the bunch he had brought to him. You seemed very interested in the ore, asking a lot of questions, questions Impulse himself could have answered to you had you just directed them to him, him and not Etho. Still, a victory was a victory. The still hidden man quietly cheered behind some random bush as you two spoke, too engrossed in the matter to notice a grown man almost jumping around in giddiness as he found out a new thing you two had in common. Something that could possibly bring you two together!

All good things must come to an end. It was hard seeing you reach your red life and die before him and not even be able to help you, the only thing he was able to do was avenging you, bringing your killers down. Still, it was all fun and games between friends, that was, before he noticed that was it. You weren't a hermit, you were on this series because of Grian but Xisuma was the admin of the Hermitcraft server, the things there were different and Grian could only do so much considering Xisuma didn't have the least of clues about who you were.

When that dawned on him, all hell broke loose, you guys weren't close enough to keep contact and neither was it normal for him to just ask his friends what server you were at currently or for your communicator ID. As much as he could do so, he also just couldn't, or at least that's what his brain told him. Was this what fear of rejection felt like?

He brainstormed a plan right off the bat. He had to convince Xisuma to white list you. And the most natural way for doing so was to bring your mutual friends to convince him. All members from 3rd life, that was enough to bring you back to his reach, where he could learn about you, much to his delight. Keeping you at arm's length was just way safer than letting you wander around servers he didn't trust or know.

At this point, he couldn't quite deny anymore that something was wrong. Despite trying over and over to think about it from all perspectives, the way things were going was alarming, at this point even you could feel something was wrong. Feeling eyes on you even while you were inside your base, in a peaceful server like Hermitcraft, it couldn't have been normal.

The pile of excuses became bigger as Impulse's pupils dilated in pure affection, snapping the picture of a perfect moment, the very first one of many to come, a soft smile blossomed at his face along with redness following from his cheeks to the tip of his ears as you brought your first pet home, smiling from ear to your beloved animal's form despite whatever it was. He wished he could have had that memory with you, that was the excuse, not only was it a one time thing but it was also important to him, the photo would work as a memory of you together. Despite him not actually being there, he decided to delude himself to believe it was like he was there anyway, taking a selfie with you as if you were aware of his presence.

Only, it wasn't a one time thing.

He had a whole collection.

It was only right, right? It's not like you can only have one single memory and call it done. Memories are supposed to be kept in group, it's a prettier word when said in plural! That's actually something you said once, he wrote it down in his little notebook of you.

That's what he would have told you to defend himself when you first saw his special 'collection of memories'.

You stared at the many pictures of you in the chest. It was a double chest full. of. pictures. of. you.

You rested your face against the palm of your hands, releasing the wooden lid which closed with a soft thud. You didn't mean to find this chest, you didn't even remember what you had come here for in the first place. The first question that went through your mind was how on earth did he have the time to take all of those pictures, like, what. Then, the other questions flooded in, your mind felt like it was imploding, how were you even supposed to approach this matter with him? You weren't even close, acquaintances at best!

You looked up again for a moment, the lid of the chest had a faint engraving, one you didn't even notice when you came looking around for- Whatever you came here looking for, was it redstone? You were partially sure Mumbo had told you earlier Impulse would have loads of it and not have any problem with trading it with you for something else. That's what you wandered here for, you just wanted to grab the redstone and leave a note and some diamonds, this turned dark pretty quick.

"My favorites <3" Read the engraving, a little heart crudely drawn at the end of the sentence. That explained why every single one of the photos seemed to have little hearts drawn all over them. You confirmed your theories as you opened the lid again with shaking hands, hearts of varying shapes, sizes and colors on each picture. With a scowl, you scrunched up your nose as you noticed something.

"Bro didn't even get my best angle"

The sound of a wooden door opening made you panic, silently but quickly closing the chest you were looking at and opening the one right by the side of it, almost sighing in relief as you saw it was full of ores and redstone, exactly what you had come here looking for.

The person seemed to pause at the door for a solid second before speaking. "[Name]? Hey- What are you doing here?" Hearing the familiar voice and looking behind you confirmed your suspicions of the person in question being Impulse himself, you catched him glancing at the chest right by your side as you turned around, his nervous smile dropping as he frowned, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before speaking slowly. "How much did you see?"

You ran your hand through your hair, messing it up. "This chest," You pointed to the one you had just pretended you never opened while confessing you did. You didn't even know why you were the one confessing when you were supposed the one to be asking the questions here, then again this was the type of situation you never expected to be a part of, imagine being the victim! "Why- When did this even start?-" You barked questions at him as you moved to stand up. "This is creppy man! This is not okay."

"I'll explain everything, it's not like there's a lot to explain anyway… Just sit there, somewhere, make yourself comfortable."

With a bad feeling in your gut you moved to look for a place to sit, just now noticing how big of a place this was. It's impossible for Impulse to be able to function and have the time to not only stalk you but also build such things, this base seemed like one of his biggest he had ever done, even if more hidden than normally.

You turned around for a moment, the shock distracting you mind for just enough time to feel a sudden pain at the back of your head and black out, almost hitting the floor before Impulse caught you and sat you down at a couch, the softest one in there and his personal favorite.

He sighed in relief, calmly walking a few steps back and dropping his axe back in his inventory, as if he had not just hit you with it's handle. He stoped close to the door, pressing a button that made his redstone circuit work, successfully locking the only entrance to his house, and the only exit, too.

Good thing he thought ahead and hid his actual favorite photos well, well enough so you didn't see them yet, he would show them to you later, sure, but right now it wouldn't be a good start to your new relationship. He hoped you would be quick to accept this new "arrangement". It's not like he's letting you go soon, anyway.

No, no. Not really. Now he has all the time in the world to get closer to you, he made sure to fill this new house of the both of you with all sort of things he knew you liked. Now he has all the chances in the world to befriend you without awkwardness, eventually it's gonna be impossible to feel awkward with him when he's the only one you have to talk to, right?

Maybe meeting him at the forest really was fate, probably a warning, one you disregarded.

#impulse x reader #impulsesv #yandere x reader #hermitcraft x reader #yandere impulse #c: impulse #hermitcraft x y/n #hermitcraft x you #tw: yandere

[profmj]

WIP Wednesday

Victor Vallakovich has become my favorite NPC in Curse of Strahd. However, after jumping into the CoS fandom on Tumblr, I was shocked to find very little fanart that incorporated him. So I decided to throw my hat into the ring, alongside the absolutely talented likes of @pigeon-princess and @vanhelsingapologist, and post about my shameless hyperfixation.

In our campaign, my character (Laika, a shifter monk) was immediately smitten with Victor. He was quiet, brooding, sarcastic, and quite unlike anyone that Laika'd ever met before. I'll include an excerpt of the scene I'm illustrating below the cut, but TLDR: Laika obtains the Tome of Strahd and selfishly invites Victor to join our party without consulting anyone else.

Victor excused himself to use the restroom after barely picking at his food. Once he was out of the room, I nodded at Edeline and similarly excused myself. Victor's subtly-spiced scent was not hard to follow upstairs to the attic of the manor. I nearly didn't believe that Victor was up there because the room was dark and incredibly cluttered. But quickly I noticed light coming from under a door across the room after poking around. The door to the room was locked, so I did what any "upstanding citizen" would do; I knocked.

Victor answered the door with a look of poorly-masked disdain, and begrudgingly invited me inside. The room was his secret study; books were piled all around on crates and tables, and a large chalk sigil was drawn on the ground. To my surprise, he confided in me that he had been teaching himself magic, despite the local superstition and would-be disapproval of his parents. When I asked why, he told me that he wanted nothing more than to escape Barovia.

Realizing how much he'd shared, Victor asked me not to tell anyone. I agreed, and in order to establish trust decided it would only be fair for me to confide something in him. I told Victor that I was not the "upstanding citizen" his mother took me for, and transformed in front of him to take on my regular pseudo-wolfish form. Victor smiled in shocked approval.

That was the right move, apparently, because Victor then showed me his most prized possession--the book from which he'd been learning magic. It's cover was made of a dark red leather and it was fastened with steel hinges. I opened the book, expecting to see some alchemic instructions or spell, but instead was met with this:

I am The Ancient, I am The Land.

My beginnings are lost in the darkness of the past. I was Warrior, I was good and just. I thundered across the land like the wrath of an angry god, but the war years and the killing years wore down my soul as the wind wears stone into sand. No man alone can bear the brunt of what I have seen and come away with soft hands and a soft heart.

All goodness has slipped from my life and time itself has become my worst enemy. For all I have gained, I have lost more.

Father once advised me to keep record of my deeds, as men of military might should strive to make order of the chaos they have wrought. For him, such records would prove to future men the power of their betters.

I care little for this. Mother thought writing it all down might fix the broken thing inside me and, since I made her a promise, I had to try.

How foolish of her for asking, and how foolish of me for agreeing. I am not broken. I am what I was made to be--what I was destined to be-- a perfect weapon--metal that has been tempered over and over by putting it in fire.

Now we all must live with the consequences.

It is why I brought you here, dear adventurer.

Yes, you have found my journal. Perhaps you hoped to plumb my innermost thoughts, to learn my origins, to discern the secret to my destruction. See how generously I have provided you with that and more—a full and honest account of my history, even of my weaknesses—all because I have no reason to lie, no cause to fear. Doubt my words if you must; it makes no difference to me. Though, perhaps with some help, your misguided efforts may actually excite some vague interest before I drain you. Think well on your heart’s desire. What price are you willing to pay, even for the meanest hope of obtaining it?

How will you choose to die?

Will you serve justice and peace, submit to my lordship, and accept Barovia as your home? Or will you spread vain hope and dissension, rebel against my throne, and play the assassin? Whatever you choose, and though you may wish otherwise, you now have my full and complete attention.

I am Strahd von Zarovich, Lord of Barovia, Master of Ravenloft. And this... is my game.

I quickly showed the book to Victor and asked him if he could read it, too. Victor could, and he commented that the book had never done this before. He reached out to take the book back, but I withheld it. And then... I couldn't help what I said next. After the day we'd had, I couldn't lie to another person, particularly when this book was clearly so important to Victor.

I openly told him that we needed this book in order to break the curse on Barovia and release everyone's trapped souls. "Victor, I'm asking you to trust me," I said.

"Take me with you," he pleaded in earnestness.

My heart started racing again. The look of determination on his face. He was so sure, and in that moment I was willing to be selfish. I agreed.

#dnd #dnd art #curse of strahd #CoS #ravenloft #Victor Vallakovich #profmj-art

[pastel-player]

Round 1 Results

ALRIGHT IT’S TIME

A few of these results really surprised me! Others did not in the slightest. But either way, it is time to reveal the losers of Round 1!

MATCH 1: Scarlet Amin is Eliminated!

Scarlet Amin a wealthy and charismatic business woman, known for her energetic personality and love of mystery! She revels in filling her home with secret passageways and hidden compartments. She is the girlboss to her husband’s malewife. Speaking of which...

MATCH 2: Ronin Amin is Eliminated!

(Art by https://twitter.com/_Cinnaart_?t=06fAdEVxEb7Fo7Rb5ulueg&s=09)

Ronin is, simply put, sopping wet. He’s much more shy and timid compared to his wife, and tends to handle the paperwork of the business. Yes, I have a favorite, what about it? He’s quite gentle and is known for his caring demeanor. He and his wife also own the mansion a certain OC story of mine takes place in ;D

MATCH 3: Burst is Eliminated!

Art by @samthecookielord​

Burst is a Paper Mario OC, inspired by Origami King! Basically I decided that Bobby deserved a boyfriend. Burst is highly energetic, always jumping to new opportunities! He is acutely aware of his mortality and strives to do as much as he possibly can in the time he has. Love this little guy. Funnily enough, speaking of Paper Mario...

MATCH 4: Twiss T. is Eliminated!

(It’s Sam again)

Twiss T. is another Paper Mario OC, based on the older games this time! He’s meant to be an antagonist- not outright evil, but he definitely doesn’t prioritize his morality. He’s a theatre kid through and through- though he’s dying to play a villain. He is so so willing to be manipulative, love that for him. His only loyalties are to the stage and to his pride <3

ROUND 5: Nightlight is Eliminated!

(It’s Sam. Again.)

Nightlight is the mother of one of my more well known OCs- Nightcap! She works at a library reading out stories, as well as writing kids books in her spare time! She’s very kind and gentle, though she very much has a sense of humor. This woman would have a Tumblr account.

ROUND 6: Misery Wizary is Eliminated!

(Take a guess.)

Misery Wizary is my necromancer save from West of Loathing! She started with a somewhat warped sense of morality- having far too much confidence in herself as a good person, and far too quick to assume the worst of others. This lead to her learning necromancy, through the idea that the person most skilled in it should at least be a good person. She ended up hiding away after an Epiphany TM followed by The Guilt. And then she was pulled out by a strange little child name Romy who is now her son. Love this woman.

ROUND 7: Storm is Eliminated!

(Take. A. Guess.)

This one sorta devastated me ngl. Storm is a teenager with arguably the most complicated origin of any of my OCs! What’s important is that they’re part of (in at least one timeline) the Omori Deltarune AU! They’re one of Halkinna’s best friends- they can come off as edgy, but they have soo much love in they heart. They also enjoy writing angst.

ROUND 8: Arthur Morris is Eliminated!

(picrews are: https://picrew.me/image_maker/1706331 and https://picrew.me/image_maker/1414503)

Arthur Morris is one of my Shadows Over Loathing OCs- specifically my Cheese Wizard save! He’s very intelligent and rather soft spoken. He loves learning about various forms of magic, as well as their history. He also had an.. interesting dynamic with Noel, since he just simply could not match her energy. Oh yeah he also a crush on Charles, love to see it. He’s actually part of a duo- wonder if the other is somewhere around here ;D

That’s the end of part one cause this got very long lol, part two of the results should be soon

#oc blind date #round 1 results #ocs #my ocs #scarlet amin #ronin amin #burst paper mario #twiss t #nightlight #misery wizary #storm #arthur morris

[chiropteracupola]

Tell us about reading Laurent and Aymar as trans? Pretty please?

all the various thoughts I had were originally typed out in a fit of annoyance probably in early October last year, and that happens to also be how I learned that tumblr has a limit on how many tags you can put on a post, which I had wildly exceeded, and now I don't remember what it was that I had written in the part that got lost. but! there's still a considerable bit of stuff that I do recall!

[also every time I end up reading this book, I immediately get a horrible sore throat without fail, so I do not want to reread it to rediscover my Ideas because I am really enjoying being Less Sick Than Usual right now.]

please take all of these thoughts with a pinch of salt, these are not super textually supported but they're A Thing to ponder. is this even going to make sense at all? Well We'll See.

some of the thoughts, I believe, began in Aymar's hair and the significance of that throughout the book - I found it interesting at the very first that he's got long hair in a time when that wasn't very much the norm, and also that, although we do get a lot of information about how much Laurent likes that long hair of his, Aymar doesn't seem so keen on it.

and also! so much of Aymar is wrapped up in matters of secrecy and falsity, and of being perceived as something other than what he is, which to me works quite well here. it's a book about honor getting called into question, and for these fellows, the quality of honor does end up getting intertwined with the quality of successful manhood. there's a certain physicality to Aymar's disgust with himself at some of his lowest moments that pairs interestingly with this particular lens.

as things go with Aymar's actual body, it's interesting (and for other reasons, nearly uncomfortable to me) how much he's described as looking similar to Avoye. and of course there's the whole St. Sebastian thing with him too... (iirc I had a lot more in my head on the whole business of Aymar's injuries in this context, but I've forgotten precisely what it was that I was getting at there. so be it.)

there's something that resonates a little bit in the way that Aymar's also wrapped up in the very particular prophecy that he is as well! now, while I don't know if the particular situation with the jartier is actually anything folkloric or if Broster invented that for the book, I find it interesting that the alleged secret of his success and the main supernatural element of the book is related to a mythological figure that's almost entirely defined in stories of hiding a concealed physical transformation from relatives. of course, having a bit of gender going on is not precisely the same as occasionally turning into a large snake, except that sometimes it also is.

that's that on Aymar - but we've got another guy to talk about while we're here! Laurent is definitely defined by his inexperience for a lot of the book - he's new to being a soldier and he's new to being an adult, and for me, that's easy to read as being new to being a man as well. he's fresh and passionate and young and just so wildly confident that I can easily see him being newly out of some journey of self-discovery and ready to make his way in the world under a newly shaped identity. Laurent's just very proud and pleased with himself, and I find that rather fun to match with these kinds of thoughts.

…he's joking about in the quotation I've given here, but hey, it's the kind of joke that I myself have been known to make.

likewise, there's something in the way that Laurent interacts with his mother and aunts, and the whole 'raised in a family of mostly women' thing, that puts the occasional thought in my head that I can't quite articulate. and then there's this:

so yeah! I'm guessing that a good deal of the more textual stuff of it is certainly the style of the time, and also the way that I've found that D.K. Broster writes in general - there are similar phrases along the lines of 'womanish feelings' and such that get used in FOTH for Keith (and I believe there's been a little discussion of that as well that I saw some time ago…) but even so it's interesting enough to think about!

#answers from the cupola #the wounded name #long post long nonsensical post. hooray. #I have a Lot of thoughts about this considering that this is a book that I didn't even really like :/ #anyway here's my conspiracy board on these two. back to probably not posting about twn for many months. #[if anyone wants me to put a readmore in this I will happily edit it but for now I'm releasing it into the wild just as it is]

[bg-sparrow]

Fic Author Self-Rec

Share five of your personal favorite works, then tag five authors to do the same. Thanks, @penny-anna for the tag!

(I'm gonna stick to the Back to the Future fandom on this one since that's the majority of my audience here on Tumblr.)

Once Upon a Time in the East (OUAT #2)

Marty and Buford follow their mutual enemy across the country to get back Tannen's fortune, forever changing the trajectory of Marty's life. A ruthless, all-or-nothing world of wealth, deception, indulgence, and blackmail brings Marty to his knees once more, and this time, he's not sure he'll make it out alive.

Once Upon a Time in the West was pretty amazing, but I really do think I topped it with the sequel. I took a lot of personal leaps in my writing with this one, and it paid off. I'm a more confident writer now because of this one.

2. Now I Am Become Death

In 1943, a restless professor of physics at CalTech rejoiced when recruited to work on the top-secret Manhattan Project. Dr. Emmett Brown's contributions at Los Alamos would not only further science, but finally end the deadliest war in history — but at what cost?

As a World War II/ history buff, getting to expand on this part of Doc's backstory — and introduce Marty in a way I never have before — really all came together beautifully in this one. I've got elements of the movies, the comics, and the ride blended together in this work, and I'm really proud of how it turned out.

3. A Fracture in the Space-time Continuum

Learning Doc is stranded in the Old West, Marty makes a break for the clocktower — and gets his leg broken by an enraged Biff that escaped the manure truck at the River Road Tunnel. Marty did not plan on spending another six weeks in 1955.

I patiently waited for the perfect title for "Broken Leg Marty" to come to me because this one was special all-around, so its title had to be, too. Letting Marty and Doc believably have this time together during canon was a great "alternate ending" to Part II, and it still lets the events of Part III unfold without much interference.

4. There Are No Roads (Time Circuits #2.5)

Time Circuits Series #2.5 - When the DeLorean comes to a standstill in 1885, Doc is at a crossroads. All of his efforts to return to the life he knows unexpectedly drive him into the embrace of a young Hill Valley, but Marty and Emma need him now more than ever.

This was an unexpected story in my Time Circuits Series. It was meant to be a 10K filler for Doc's time in 1885 before Marty showed up, and there was apparently a lot more story to tell than I anticipated — in the best ways. I got to explore original ideas that fit snugly into canon. I fell in love with writing Buford Tannen in this story. This is personally the one I find myself rereading the most, and while I wrote the series to where people could skip this story if they chose to jump right from Part II to Part III, I hope they don't because it enhances Part III so much. And Buford is delightfully evil in it.

5. The Manner of Giving

Five times Marty tried to give Doc a gift - and one time he succeeded.

This one was born of a Tumblr Ask Box prompt and the only 5+1 fic I've ever written. You would not believe how hard it is to think up five ways to unsuccessfully give someone a gift, especially when you know Doc and Marty are likely on "oh, just bring it with you next time" terms. This one challenged me and turned out great!

And there you have it! My five personal favorite BttF fics that I've written! Five peeps I'm gonna tag if you guys wanna toot your own horn: @daryfromthefuture, @bri-to-the-future, @fiddlstyx, @knickynoo, and @jowritesfanfiction

#back to the future #bttf #fanfic #fanfiction #bgsparrow #ao3 #ask game #timecircuitsseries #once upon a time in the west #once upon a time in the east #the manner of giving #5+1 fic #40s doc #now i am become death #manhattan project #friendship #marty mcfly #doc brown #broken leg marty