#help finding a book

[rescue-ram]

HAVE YOU READ THIS BOOK??

Saw a post about "formative gay books from your youth" which set off my third fruitless quest for a YA novel I read once when I was like 12 and has lived rent free in my head ever since. Objectively, as an adult, when I reflect on the scenes it burned into my neurons, I acknowledge it was probably not that great. But it made 12 year old me have insanely complicated feelings and it's MADDENING I can find no trace of this novel.

I've searched several times over the years, and just tonight spent an hour going through Amazon, WorldCat, Google Books, Goodreads, and like three other book search databases to no avail. My last hope is that someone on Tumblr has also read this novel and recognizes it.

If any of the below ring a bell, PLEASE let me know!

Young adult novel published prior to 2008

Set in a Houston art school. I might be having false memories that it was specifically the High School for the Performing and Visual Arts.

Centered around two boys- an extremely shy visual artist and a very confident but secretly depressed writer.

Very shy boy might've had selective mutism? Definitely had a strained relationship with his family

At the beginning of the novel, shy boy has to submit a portrait for admission to school. He initially draws a caricature of himself wearing art like armor, but his mom laughs at him and tells him he misunderstood the instructions and he was supposed to write a personal essay. Shy boy struggles with this.

There was a weirdly vivid metaphor about social anxiety being like being eaten by wolves? There was also a very vivid description of being a puppet or marionette.

There was a conflict over shy boy wanting to do cartooning but having to learn painting instead?

He was initially intimidated by confident boy, but confident boy sees his cartoons and really likes them

As they get closer confident boy opens up about feeling crushed by pressure and expectations of others, conflict with his family as well? He may have been self-harming?

They keep their friendship a secret and it's either extremely homoerotic or confident boy was explicitly gay. I do not remember clearly. It gets very intense and shy boy is conflicted and uncomfortable about the secrets he's keeping.

At the end of the book, confident boy kills himself in a way that looks like a tragic accident. He intentionally overdoses on medication that induces a heart attack, but injects into a healing injury on his arm so there's no puncture marks. He leaves a suicide note for shy boy, encouraging him to be himself and be a great artist, but to tell no one confident boy killed himself because he doesn't want his family to be upset?

Shy boy is traumatized and initially keeps the secret, but at the end of the book opens up to... Someone. One of the teachers? It ends on a bittersweet but hopeful note that now shy boy is opening up and is forming healthier relationships.

As an adult, this summary sounds rather maudlin, but I remember being really struck by the writing style as a kid, especially the imagery and descriptions. I just feel crazy that this book really affected middle school me and then seemingly disappeared into the ether. If you have any idea what I'm talking about, PLEASE let me know!

#book search #bookblr #looking for a book #readblr #help finding a book #litblr #please god someone help this has been driving me nuts for years

[woopydoodog]

VMINKOOK

HELP FIND VMINKOOK FICFrom what i remember, V has a personality disorder, one named Taehyung, V and another i think introduced as a female called Vantae or smth. Taehyung is the original one and V is the one take takes the brunt of things and Vantae sees the assault i think. V is in the mafia and is really dangerous and famous. Jk from what i remember is a police officer and JM is a prostitute in the beginning of the book. JM and JK knew each other before but i don’t remember how. All i know is that V and Jk have this weird chemistry and Taehyung and Jm have chemistry. I remember that JM used to be with RM and that at one scene Jm just wants to be free but is told by V that he will be free after doing this one thing with them but is told that he won’t be set free because they can’t let him go. The last scene in the story is them in a car or plane leaving to somewhere and Jm says bye to RM and finally officially cuts things off with him. Tae evidently likes JM. i’m pretty sure there is a sequel and in the sequel JM is more hard core. PLS HELP MEE, i can’t find it for the life of me. Dunno if it’s on wattpad or ao3 (archive of my own).

#Ao3 #Vminkook #Jikook #Vmin #Taekook #Vminkook ao3 #Archive of my own #Pls help #Help finding a book #Help finding a au #Vmin au #Taekook au #personality disorder #Taehyung #V #Jimin #Jungkook #Jeongguk #Bts #Fanfic #Fanfiction #Wattpad #Bts fic #Bts au #Find au #Find #Taemin #Vkook #Kookmin #Au finder

[elisa20beth]

Please help me find this oneshot!!!

i can’t find this oneshot on ao3 that i was obsessed with!

it was a bucky barnes/reader where it was set in a college au and they were put to live together in a dorm by accident. they were like oh well and decided to just stick with because it was too late to change or something. then bucky starts distancing himself and then leaves and makes the reader all sad. steve stops by and gets her story of what happened. some other stuff happened but the end was bucky telling the reader that he left because he was so in love with them.

if anyone could find this based off my description or if you know what i’m talking about, pleaseeee tell me!!!<3

there was also another oneshot i was obsessed with that was also bucky/reader on ao3 but i think it was deleted

#bucky barnes #bucky angst #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers #marvel #mcu #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes imagine #ao3 fanfic #ao3 #ao3 works #help finding a book

[honeycheerio]

there are certain things that i swear i read but i'm not sure anymore

like i swear i read this book about disrespecting the american flag and this american revolution era ghost of a soldier visited these two boys who let the flag touch the ground because apparently you're not supposed to do that and lectured them about patriotism

then this other one, i only remember one scene which is that there was a family picnic and there was a little kid who didn't want to eat something, i think it was like spinach? anyway they were like "hey, you gotta eat it" and they refused to, then the whole family died except the kid because something was wrong with the spinach and they were like "i should have eaten the spinach too 😭"

i swear these were real but i don't remember them

#please i need to find them #i need to know i'm not imagining things #i swear i saw them #help finding a book #reading #shitpost

[belongstocaptaindoyle]

Could someone please help me finding a book? If I’m right it’s a YA book, it had lightish green cover mainly, and in the middle there was a boy who (I think) was sitting on a throne. Around him and the throne there were like white designs..uh..I really can’t recall what shape ...whether it was some flower design or something else? I sadly only saw it for a few secs before it disappeared from my recommended ads, but if anyone knows what it can be I’d appreciate your help! Thank you! 

#young adult books #ya novel #help finding a book #throne #king? #prince

[northisnotup]

I've been thinking recently of a sci-fi story I once read.

All I remember of it is that the main characters were a set of twins (?) Who may or may not have lived in a sci-fi mental hospital? And that one traded a dose of medication for a butterfly mask.

I don't remember if it was a murder mystery or what have you, but I know there was a distasteful (meant to be distasteful) plot point about one of the doctors taking advantage of them.

#looking for book #help finding a book #book search #books #find a book

[corvidcantina]

Does anyone know of a short story where a man who’s been condemned to death (very probably by firing squad) writes an entire book in his mind before he’s going? It might have been in Italian or German as well as in English bc I can remember reading it in high school, but unfortunately I don’t have any other indications and I’d really like to read it again

#death tw // #Help finding a book

[polyvirnl]

Help find a book

Y'all helped me find a fanfic, but can we find an older novel?

I THINK its three words something like the unexpected mage or something but the story starts with a guy going to a job interview and getting sucked into a book or something while waiting. He gets found by this dude in the woods and realizes he has magic??

At some point he goes to the city and hires a street rat and there's a funny scene where he's having a bath and gets asked about his circumcision lmao bc Its not a thing in the fantasy world as far as I'm aware.

I know it's a series but I can't figure it out lol

#help finding a book #fantasy #transmigration #help find #book #fantasy book

[pineapple-frenzy]

Book 2 au: sparring sessions and short hair katara

They like to have sparring sessions in order to keep their bending skills sharp. They allow themselves to go all out and not hold back at all cause they know if anyone got hurt, Katara could just heal them

But anyways, wouldn't it be kinda funny if Zuko accidentally burned Katara's hair tho? Aofkqldkkajfjd

The "I think we can save the hairloops" line is from @linnoya-writes thank you for that!! :>>

#zutara #zuko #katara #atla #book 2 au #my art #i mentioned in my last book 2 au post that i wanted to include short hair katara into it and y'all were so supportive of it!! 😭😭😭 #so this is how i think it would go #it would happen as katara is trying to evade one of zuko's fire balls #she manages to avoid it but since her hair is long it still caught on fire #she'd be pissed so she water whips the hell out of zuko #and then promptly forgets about it akfhkakdkakdj #even after the sparring session she still hasn't remembered cause 'oh no zuko's in pain i have to help him!' #it isn't until zuko even mentions it that she remembers #zuko thinks she's more calm than i thought she would be after burning her hair so he mentions it to her #little did he know katara just forgor aldjlakdkaljd #n e ways zuko does feel bad so she offers to help fix it up for her #i think after the haircut katara would find herself looking in mirrors when there are any around cause 'zuko thinks i'm beautiful?? really? #zuko doesn't know this tho and he thinks katara is till sad about the unwanted haircut so he keeps telling her that she looks beautiful #and katara just keeps losing it aldjlakdlald #in conclusion they are idiots your honor

[podcastwizard]

modern day moby dick but my white whale is a middle grade fantasy novel i read when i was like eleven and haven't been able to find again

#i have been searching for YEARS #i've put out the call on tumblr and goodreads and various forums #people have helped me find other books but this one eludes me #all the sites are like maybe it's time to give up #NO #IT'S OUT THERE AND I DIDN'T IMAGINE IT #THANK YOU VERY MUCH

[vole-mon-amour]

Hey guys, does anyone recognize maybe a series or a book?

I basically don't know the plot, i think it might be fantasy but I'm not sure. All that I remember is that in the book brother and sister (?) and madly in love and keep fucking, but it only revealed to the reader that they're siblings way later (for the shock value or whatever).

Does anyone know what kind of book/series that might be? Might be YA but again, I'm not sure at all. Saw an opinion on my dash and lost the name of the book.

#books #help finding a book #i told myself I'll look into tag the later but it got lost and now i can't find it

[egophiliac]

CROWLEY SSR THOUGHTS

there is zero basis for this, but I can't get this thought of my head

I don't know why I decided to draw it this way

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #(these will be relevant in a moment) #this isn't going to happen. but WHAT IF. #anyway i didn't get him (damnit birdman come home) so i had to look up his story #and let me tell you friends my findings were SHOCKING #crowley canonically likes vegetables which means that the crowley is revaan theory = BUSTED #crowley is sailor venus = CONFIRMED #(i know 'whip of love' is a saying but that's where my mind always goes) #DISCLAIMER: this is (mostly) a joke please continue to hold whatever theories and headcanons you want #but look. c'mon. look over here at this whiteboard i've covered in red yarn. #revaan being a picky eater has come up multiple times and there is an entire whole bit about how much he hated jerky and refused to eat it #and now they've made a point of talking about how crowley will eat almost anything and loOoOoves wild game meat especially #it's SO stupid but i can't help but read way too much into it #(this is tumblr if you don't want to see incredibly stupid overanalysis of anime guys then why are you HERE) #and i gotta hold on to something because otherwise whenever malleus and crowley are onscreen together i just keep going 'same hair color... #unless this is like. some kind of deep cover thing. #lilia doesn't recognize him because he saw him eat a green bean once and revaan would NEVER #crowley's secret is safe for another day #(serious hat on: i do think they're probably connected in some way) #(but there's something deeper going on that we're just not clued into yet that will hopefully explain things) #man forget revaan what if crowley whips off his mask and it turns out he was meleanor this whole time #wait hold on meleanor loves jerky. IT ALL FITS...

[woopydoodog]

HELP FIND VMINKOOK FIC

From what i remember, V has a personality disorder, one named Taehyung, V and another i think introduced as a female called Vantae or smth. Taehyung is the original one and V is the one take takes the brunt of things and Vantae sees the assault i think. V is in the mafia and is really dangerous and famous. Jk from what i remember is a police officer and JM is a prostitute in the beginning of the book. JM and JK knew each other before but i don’t remember how. All i know is that V and Jk have this weird chemistry and Taehyung and Jm have chemistry. I remember that JM used to be with RM and that at one scene Jm just wants to be free but is told by V that he will be free after doing this one thing with them but is told that he won’t be set free because they can’t let him go. The last scene in the story is them in a car or plane leaving to somewhere and Jm says bye to RM and finally officially cuts things off with him. Tae evidently likes JM. i’m pretty sure there is a sequel and in the sequel JM is more hard core. PLS HELP MEE, i can’t find it for the life of me. Dunno if it’s on wattpad or ao3 (archive of my own).

#ao3 #vminkook #jikook #vmin #taekook #vminkook ao3 #archive of my own #pls help #help #fic #find fic #find ao3 fic #wattpad #bts #bts fic #help finding a post #help finding a book #help finding a fic #mafia #mafia au #vminkook au #jikook au #vmin au #taekook au #personality disorder #taehyung #jimin #jungkook #V #fanfic

[tiffanyachings]

it would have been very beautiful. camilla would have had to cook (horrible bone soup)

#HELLO back at it again #tug introduced groundbreaking new findings about soul permeability but my mind bypassed all that in favour of this au #the division of labour is as follows: #dulcie reads the instructions; snacks; and changes the radio station every time she doesn’t like a song #if you complain she will remind you she's literally dying. life is too short and mediocre songs are too long #pal gets stuff from high shelves and battles his constantly fogged up glasses #he tried to help with prep once and promptly got himself banned from using knives for the rest of his life #cam does 98% of the actual cooking #trivia section - #you can tell i am new to this because i arranged them in the wrong speaking order. let’s all practice our right to left reading #cam has a silly novelty apron because a) the idea was unbearably funny to me and b) i need to spread the gospel (aroace cam) #the cookbooks next to dulcie are ‘a few teaspoons of salt’ (by ianthe tridentarius) #and ‘saintly feasts: food for saints and scholars’ which is a real book! though not written by cassiopeia the first #* #dulcie septimus #dulcinea septimus #camilla hect #palamedes sextus #the locked tomb #field sketches #<< i get to have an art tag now!

[ukrainian-psycho]

Everyone hates the Ventrue calling them boring and insufferable with their grindset-mindset and while most of it is true, if you dig into the clan's culture there isn't much that makes them worse than other clans really, there's a lot of endearing qualities that also explain why are they stupid like this. So here's some of my favorite facts and bits of the in clan lore (some of these traditions are applicable for cammies or for those in the clan-clan, done with the Agoge etc; an anarch ventrue obv doesn't have to follow no rule).

Blood preference is made up. It's in their head. There were incidents of a ventrue changing their preference, takes a huge effort but nothing says you can’t. Many ancient ones perished because there's no more Yugoslavian blood or whatever and they couldn't get used to any other. The biggest problem of the Clan of Kings is that they all think they all have an imaginary lactose intolerance they absolutely will die for.

Unlike other clans who let their progeny run around doing fuck all you are responsible for your childe. Providing for them first time, teaching them to hunt, all that regardless if they want to go through the Agoge or join the clan. As a capital V Ventrue you have to respect their choice. Being a deadbeat sire is generally frowned upon.

Actually, everyone in the clan feels entitled to your childe. Any clan member has the right to show up on your doorstep whenever because they thought of something profound to say to the fledgling or give you an advice on how to mentor them. Turning them away is impolite. Absolutely insufferable.

When in a serious trouble you can always ask a fellow clans-mate for help and even if they hate your ass they have to help and do a good job at that lest they want to lose some dignitas. You are expected to return the favor obviously.

Deathnights! 🥳🎉🎉. The thought that any kindred care for birthdays (or deathnights, the time you were embraced) is already silly but the fact that it's ventrues who care about this so much is especially funny. Yeah you sire sucks, but she invited Paris Hilton and got you a new car for your sweet 160. If it's an elder's deathnight you can even rizz them and it's all in good fun!

The general opinion that your local venture is an e*lon m*usk type o guy and not a gas station manager doesn't help. In the digital era even the most powerful ventrue have to influence from the shadows which is quite a hit on their ego. Others settle for less.

They are the smallest clan. The key to survival is resilience and mutual support. Trust no one, not even the other ventrue but you know they've got your back because you've got theirs. Fucked up, however "familial" bonds like sire-childe and such are much valued.

Wholesome-ish, ventrue cliques. Many looove chess and have chess clubs. Both as a hobby and often preferring to solve personal disputes over a game. Then, Philosophes and Diplomats. The first one is just a bunch of an armchair philosophers. The other can be considered as "progressive" and want to build bridges with other clans and think the Camarilla needs to be more cooperative and inviting. The elders often snark at the "friendly ventrues" but at the end of the night it is the Diplomats they send out to represent the clan and do the talking and make peace with others. There's also a club for neonates just to bitch about their hard unlife without the restrictions of the etiquette. Btw look up the Olympian clique on your own lmao, I'm not even delving into that.

And to be fair, there's so much etiquette. You're being told what to wear, what to gift, how to act.

don't argue with those younger than you, embarrassing them in the act. Don't argue with elders because it's disrespectful. Don't argue with your peers because arguing is stupid. If someone really pissed you off please submit a request to your closest ventrue primogen and wait 15-20 business nights to be informed if you have a go at killing their ass. This is not a joke. Always show up as a united front at all times.

Be respectful and treat other clans as you would have wanted to be treated. Even if they are ugly, annoying, or unhinged. At the end of the night the inquisition will come for all of us.

The Agoge sucks. Everyone hates it. It fucks you up but complaining is for pussies so drink some cocained up blood or get a therapist like everybody else. Suck it up.

Crying in the boardroom is not allowed. No public display of emotions or feelings is allowed. The purpose of it is to minimize the amount of conflict between each other and other clans but it's the next best thing to Lasombra's catholic guilt in terms of repressing yourself.

Older ones have a hard time keeping up with technology, the concept of email is on par with other paranormal forces. The Board risks their unlives traveling to an in-person meeting to resolve something that could have been a 10 minute conference call. If you are a neonate who knows what a DVR is you've got quite some power.

#vtm #vtm ventrue #vampire the masquerade #ventrue #pls read bc i checked in with the clanbook andthe camarilla book and the general e5 book to make sure its accurate #some venture dedicate themselves to help fledglings and neonates of any clan i just cant find what book was it from but isnt it sweet #i didnt include anything i want somewhat sure of

[vic-does-battlecats]

Minor spoilers for the already revealed chapters of the next A Starless Clan book Wind

#a starless clan #a starless clan spoilers #wind spoilers #asc spoilers #warrior cats spoilers #warriors #warrior cats #tigerheart #tigerheartstar #tigerstar 2 #tigerstar #Squirrelflight #squirrelstar #frostpaw #Nightheart #I’ve been wanting to draw this ever since the chapters were revealed and what better time than like two days til the book comes out #i actually think tigerheartstar is an interesting character in this arc he genuinely thinks he’s doing the right thing and he does honestly #want to help. he just does it by trying to crack dad jokes to lighten the mood while trying to run a group that doesn’t want him there #i also think it’s funny that he’s consistently just chill with taking in cats thrown out of their clans. ESPECIALLY from RiverClan #don’t get me wrong he’s super weird in omen of the stars and avos and I think in his super edition (I haven’t read it in a while) #but he’s also a good dad. he’s such a perplexing character I can’t help but find him interesting. at least he DOES stuff yknow #I’ll eat my words if he does turn out to be completely evil or something. but I’ll hate if he does his behavior really isn’t like Tigerstar #-the first. this guy isn’t out here trying to seize power #but ENOUGH ABOUT HIM!! Nightheart asking squirrelstar if frostpaw could come to thunderclan with him was so sweet #i wish she’d accepted I don’t want them to split up I’m worried the writers will forget the entire last book and they won’t be close again