#I wrote this at 1 am so it might be shit but I felt compelled | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

purrincess-chat · 3 years

Text

Cat’s Definitive Ranking of Every ML Episode as of 4/22/21

Are you guys ready for this? I did the thing. You’re all welcome. Don’t ever ask me for anything again. You can watch me get progressively more unhinged in real time.

Now, just to preface this, I did not give this too much thought. Most of these are just my gut feelings. I went through every episode and just made some snap judgments based off the lasting impressions I’ve been left with. These are my opinions. If you don’t like them, tough. And also I don’t care. Go spend 4 hours making your own damn ranking. And shut the hell up. Anyway, this is probably the longest post I’ve ever made, so I’m gonna put it all under a read more. Click on it if you have an hour to read it. Okay, here we go!

1. Origins II- Good starting point for our heroes. Good establishment of canon ships and character dynamics. Umbrella scene literally stole my wallet. Cannot emphasis enough that I am whipped for the umbrella scene. I wrote a whole ass AU just to say how whipped I am for the umbrella scene. In the Rain will play at my wedding. Jk. Weddings are for suckers. But dammit if I don’t want these kids to get married. 10/10

2. Origins I- Good introduction to lore. Good introduction to characters. Good establishment of status quoyo. Just good. 10/10

3. Simon Says- Listen, I am nothing if not a shipper at heart. This episode just sparks joy. And the whole series almost ended when Gabriel almost jumped off the roof. I was really rooting for this one. This was the episode where I saw Ladrien and went yes, ma’am, I’ll have one of those. 10/10

4. Evillustrator- Are you all surprised? Cat, the MC-skeptic ranked the pivotal MC episode so highly? Well, let me tell you all a thing, I started this fandom out a MC shipper because of this episode. Their first interaction is gold. I don’t deny that. I enjoy it. This is the MC dynamic I fell in love with. Yall toxic shippers ruined MC for me when you opened your mouths and spat in the face of Ladrien and baselessly declared MC the sin-ship. We all know it’s Ladrien. Stop kidding yourselves. Boy in leather catsuit? Please. Basic ass vanilla bitches. I’m getting off-topic. Solid episode 10/10. We love to see it.

5. Stormy Weather- Baby’s first Miraculous episode. It holds a special place in my heart. It’s a solid episode. Good establishment of what the show is. Fun villain. Good times. Fond memories. 10/10

6. Riposte- Listen, I know I’m an Adrinette stan, but hear me out: Ladrien. It’s just so good. And Kagami was compelling in this episode. It was just really solid. It’s my favorite s2 episode. If you ask me if I want to rewatch Riposte, the answer is always yes. 10/10. We stan.

7. Gorizilla- Okay, so this episode has some solid Adrinette in it, but the real reason it ranks so high is that fucking Ladrien trust fall. I stare at that scene for hours, you guys. HOURS. It is absolutely just *chefs kiss*. Sometimes when I need a pick-me-up, I just go watch gifs of that catch on loop. 10/10. Beautiful. Radiant. Carefree.

8. Gang of Secrets- I have been keeping most of my opinions to myself about s4 (mostly because I’ve backed way the hell out of this fandom), but GoS was pretty solid. Gotta say, it’s the first episode in a long time with this show that made me actually excited to see what happens next. Most other episodes I was like, okay, that was cute. The show is still meh overall. But GoS really got me like oh shit, is ML good again? 10/10 for making me feel things again.

9. Oblivio- Told you guys this one was probably rated higher than I thought. Oblivio is just really fun. There is good Adrinette. That “No wonder I fell in love with you” paired with the softest of Adrien smiles just sends me. And the kisses. The unquestionable trust. These two kids literally woke up together alone in an elevator with no memories and said welp, you’re my boyfriend/girlfriend obviously, I don’t make the rules. Honestly, how anyone could argue that these two dorks aren’t made for each other after that episode is beyond me. 9/10

10. Backwarder- Okay, I know I am weird and alone for this one, but I really liked this episode. It got a lot of shit for the constipation capsule thing at the end, but like who cares? We finally got some more backstory on Fu. He got a love-interest who is dope as hell. This episode is my favorite lucky charm use ever. Like that queen DID that. I like Backwarder, guys! Fuck off. 9/10.

11. Kwamibuster- We all know I am a Marinette-stan by this point, but our girl was SHINING this episode. This bitch said gimme all them and let me go whoop this bitch’s ass, and she DID. Hawkmoth could never. Multimouse is a gift, and Marinette is a boss ass queen. 9/10

12. Chat Blanc- Listen, this episode was very good. I enjoy the idea of my children being happy in another timeline somewhere very much. We got all 4 sides of the square in an episode. It’s just really solid. I know this is the fandom’s favorite, and everyone is gonna shit their pants because it didn’t make my top 10, but this is my list. So, I put it at number 12. It’s good. I like it. It just didn’t steal my wallet like other episodes did. Put the pitchforks down. It’s gonna be okay, you can still love it more than me. 8/10

13. New York Special- I know everyone felt some type of way about this special, but I wasn’t mad at it. My perception of it might be clouded because I watched it in Disney World where I was chilling and having a great time, but like this special really did somethings for me. The Adrinette was top tier. Tippy top tier. Even though they hurt us in the end, I am okay with it because it just means the children will grow and come out stronger. I don’t care if it’s not technically canon. Ask me if I give a fuck. I don’t. I had fun here. 8/10. Solid.

14. The Collector- This one might shock a lot of you, but let me paint you a scene. It’s the first episode of s2. We have just come off a 2 year hiatus. The fandom is thriving. We’re hungry for canon content. We have hopes and dreams and expectations. Everyone is going wild with theories. This episode confirmed something that was long since obvious (in my opinion) and ended the stupid arguments people had been having. It made Gabriel actually seem semi-competent. We got our first taste of how Chat/Adrien will react to his dad being Hawkmoth. We got a peek at their life. Adrien’s isolation and sadness. They were so close to figuring it out. The battle was epic. Like Collector really had them on the ropes there for a second. It’s a solid episode, yall. I’m not wrong. Hate me all you want, but this episode brought it. 8/10

15. Despair Bear- Is this episode up this high because of the Adrinette slow dance scene? YOU BET YOUR ASS IT IS. Okay, but fr though, shipping aside, this episode gave us hope that Chloe was actually gonna redeem herself. I mean, she didn’t but, we didn’t know that at the time. Seeing her run around trying to be nice was fun. And then she actually did something good, and we had a moment of okay, she’s capable. We’ll get there. We didn’t. But what a ride this episode was for making us think she would. 8/10

16. Startrain- Cat, you’re just ranking all the Adrinette episodes highest. And? What of it? Are you surprised? You clicked a blog that has simping for Adrinette in the description, and you’re surprised all my favorite episodes have Adrinette? I’m not wrong, you’re just an idiot. The Adrinette nap cuddles aside though, this was a pretty good episode. If you don’t think too hard about the whole space thing, we got a look at Max’s life, his mom is a driven, smart lady doing her best. Adrien rebels against papa for once. Alya stops a Lila scheme. Chloe gets to play the hero. Alya and Nino actually investigate like the heroes they are. Gabriel gets to realize what a dumbass bitch he is. I mean. Guys. Startrain is solid. 7.5/10

17. Sapotis- This one shot up in rank for me after GoS, but tbh it’s always been a solid episode. Alyanette sleepover? Check. Alya becoming a superhero? Check. It’s a fun episode. And looking back, it’s nicely called back to later in GoS. We love it. 7.5/10

18. Sandboy- Idk why I enjoy this episode as much as I do, but I do. Sandboy is a cute bean. I love his aesthetic. We also get hilarious looks at everyone’s nightmares. “Plagg, who turned you into a sock?” cracks me up cause like Adrien, bby, no XD And Chat Noir’s nightmare. I think it would have been interesting though if since Sandboy dusted the Agreste mansion, if we got a peek at Hawkmoth’s nightmares. It would have been a nice hint of plot to go along with Master Fu’s nightmare. Also Plagg giving the akuma the slip like the clever boy we know he is deep down? 7.5/10

19. Furious Fu- If you guys haven’t realized by now that I love Fu, idk what you’re doing. Pay attention. I know that some people don’t like him, but I’m just gonna say it, you’re wrong. Fu took care of the Miracle Box for over 100 years, and this episode kind of gives some insight to what the Order was like. Very strict. Lots of rules. And ya know what, Fu said fuck the police, I’m gonna befriend these little magical demigods, and fuck off! Like what an absolute legend. I was really happy to see him living his best life, and that he and Marianne got married because it’s what he deserves. We love to see it. 7.5/10

20. Gamer- People like to shit on Marinette in this episode, but like honestly, if I were in her shoes, I’d have probably done the same thing if I had the skill. Ain’t nothing wrong with a girl trying to spend time with the boy she likes. And Tom and Sabine being absolute shipping trash. I love them. And the awkward Adrinette. The introduction of the lucky charm that Adrien STILL carries. Wholesome. This was a good episode for their friendship, and we love to see it. 7.5/10

21. Christmaster- Okay, I know a lot of people hated this episode when it aired, but I thought it was really funny? Everyone skidding around in the ice rink was hilarious. If you don’t take this episode seriously, it’s really fun. Chris is pretty cute, and damn right Ladybug is the best kid in the world. Idk. This episode is fun. I’m not mad at it. Sue me. 7.5/10

22. Weredad- What? Another MC-heavy episode in Cat’s top 30? Listen, I don’t hate canon MC. The fans just annoy me. This episode was funny. The secondhand embarrassment and cringe was real. Plagg taunting Adrien because he knows the secret was great. Marinette being a self-saving queen was great. It’s a good episode. I like MC, you guys. I do. I swear! 7.5/10

23. Miraculer- This episode was interesting to me, and I think it’s still a good development episode. For one, Sabrina finally got her own akuma episode named after her. Secondly, because it’s a big step for Chloe, just not in the way we expected. It totally makes sense that Chloe can’t have her Miraculous back because literally everyone knows her identity. Can’t argue that logic. And she is the first person to ever refuse to become akumatized, so like mad respect. I know a lot of people had high hopes for redeemed Chloe (myself included), but I think watching a character fall from revering someone to hating them is also an interesting path. The friends to enemies arc as it were. Idk. I liked this episode. It was an opportunity for Chloe to grow, even if she didn’t in the end, but we’ll talk about that later. 7.5/10

24. Lady Wifi- I like Alya. I feel like I don’t say that much, and people make some assumptions because of MDCSP, but MDCSP is just a concept I wanted to explore. It doesn’t really reflect how I feel about any one character. Except maybe Lila. And Gabe. But every other spite fic I’ve written branching from Chameleon, the class has been fine. Alya has been fine. So, let it be known that I like Alya. Lady Wifi was a fun episode. Putting aside the fact that she thought Chloe was Ladybug for no reason, I like her akuma. I like the interactions we get with LadyNoir in this episode. After GoS, this episode gets a bit funnier. It’s solid. 7/10

25. Dark Cupid- I don’t have much to say about this one. LadyNoir. That’s it. That’s the tweet. Send it. 7/10

26. Volpina- So many things about this episode. It introduced a new antagonist who we didn’t exactly 100% know was going to be an antagonist at the time. This episode sparked a lot of fun fan theories for a while. Who was Lila? How was she going to shake things up? Not to mention this episode gave us a taste of plot and lore, and set up Marinette meeting Master Fu officially. Lots of intrigue sparked from this episode. And that LadyNoir door scene? OOOOOO 7/10

27. Hearthunter- One word: Adrigaminette. This episode was so cute for them! I loved seeing them all goofing and running around together. Adrien and Kagami being absolutely in love with Marinette when her hair is down. They both love her, I don’t make the rules. Not to mention, Marinette takes a big step by letting her friends be happy without her. Kagami not wanting to hurt Marinette. The drama!! Gabriel being a messy ass bitch to his friends. It loses points for the abomination of an akuma, but overall, I wasn’t too mad at it. Yet. 7/10

28. Glaciator- More MC in Cat’s top 30? It’s more likely than you think. Listen. Listen… Listen. MC is fine. This episode was the closest thing to fanfiction that we got. The balcony scene was really sweet. I was drinking the irony. We got introduced to Andre the icecream fraud. Andre the please just give me the flavor I asked for man. I could have done without Chat pouting, but the LadyNoir in the end was pretty good. I wish they’d done more with Ladybug’s feelings for Chat. Had her question herself a bit more after this one, but overall, it’s cute. 7/10

29. Zombizou- A lot of people started hating Mlle. Bustier after this episode, and like I can kind of see it, if I squint, but I did not draw that same conclusion from this episode. Mlle. Bustier just wants good things for all of her students. They’re 14 ffs, she just wants to be a good influence on all of her students and wants them all to be successful. But go off, I guess? Plus, this episode was basically just a spoof on zombie apocalypse movies. We got so many things. Julerose, Myvan, DJWifi. Chloe actually showing some depth and emotion. LadyNoir. We won this episode, babes. Sorry you didn’t get the memo. 7/10

30. Timetagger- Okay. This is the last episode in the ones that I’d venture to call “good.” Number 30. I enjoyed Timetagger. I know people have feelings about timey-wimey bullshit, and like I’m not gonna lie and say I’m thrilled with it either (I mean, I changed the rabbit’s power in MDCSP) but that being said, Timetagger was so sassy. Bunnix was cool as hell. We get to see that LB and CN are still doing the thing in the future. So many questions sparked from this episode. It was fun. Idk. I liked it. That’s all I got. 7/10

31. Malediktator- Okay, from this point on, less comments because this is the section that are more or less just meh to me. Like they’re fine. This episode was fine. Chloe was fine. Chat playing with the laser was cute. 6.5/10

32. Mayura- Adrien’s speech at the end. Nuff said 6.5/10

33. Ikari Gozen- Ryuko/Ryuuko. Gals being pals. 6.5/10

34. Reflekdoll- I talked about this earlier, but I don’t hate this episode. It’s not as bad as people make it out to be. Sue me. 6.5/10

35. Anansi- Nino is the goodest boy. Also I need more of the gang taking Adrien on adventures via Facetime. Stat. 6.5/10

36. Shanghai- This one is new, and tbh I still haven’t watched it with subs, but I had a good time. Fei was cute. The boy squad was cute. Adrien bonding with Great Uncle Cheng was cute. Hawkmoth getting literally dunked on was *chefs kiss* 6.5/10

37. Gigantitan- I love overly supportive, ride-or-die girl squad. 6.5/10

38. Party Crasher- Idk why this episode was funny to me. Kim is the purest bean. We don’t deserve him. 6.5/10

39. Desperada- This episode was an emotional roller coaster, and even though we all collectively hate Aspik’s stupid egghead, we love the Ladrien this episode provided us. 6/10

40. Oni-chan- Listen, I loved seeing Lila get a tiny bit of karma even if she made it up in the end. I loved Chat going off on her. I loved seeing her get outsmarted in the end. 6/10

41. Frightningale- My good lesbian Clara Nightingale. We stan. 6/10

42. Style Queen- I like Audrey in a “she’s the worst person I’ve ever met, I want to travel the world with her” kind of way. She’s funny to me. Idk. I love her firing everyone. She’s the one I love to hate. She’s the worst, but we love her for it. Plus this episode gave us Plagg’s adorable little Cataclysm that destroyed half the city. 6/10

43. Gamer 2.0- Chat confidently strutting in heels made this episode worth it. And we get to see the beginning of Marinette being overwhelmed. Plus it was the return of gamer!nette. 6/10

44. Troublemaker- I don’t hate this episode as much as the next person either. It was fine. Jagged is a manchild, but we love him for it. He’s a Marinette stan which like mood. The Adrinette at the end was cute. I wasn’t mad at it. Idk. It’s fine. 6/10

45. Reflekta- Where are all my Juleka stans at? I loved the LadyNoir banter in this ep. V. cute. 6/10

46. Dark Owl- This episode was fun. And it really shows their level of trust. Plus Plagg and Tikki interacted. 6/10

47. Timebreaker- Have I ever mentioned that I like Alix? I like Alix. 6/10

48. Silencer- I don’t hate this episode as much as you’d expect me to, and that is 100% because of the LadyNoir. 5.5/10

49. Prime Queen- Chat purrs. 5.5/10

50. Syren- I think the fish power-up is adorable. Ondine is a gem. Kim is a pure bean, but we been knew. 5.5/10

51. Befana- I like Gina, but this episode fell flat for me. Almost as flat as the animation. 5.5/10

52. Reverser- Another episode that everyone hates that I am actually fine with. This episode made me like Nathaniel more. Probably because I was previously indifferent toward him. Marc is cute too. 5.5/10

53. Mr. Pigeon- Marinette is one clever girl. And the Adrinette hand-touch. 5.5/10

54. Felix- Felix is a gremlin of chaos. A true chaotic neutral. He gives his uncle the finger, and I think that’s beautiful. 5.5/10

55. Truth- Bet you expected this episode to be higher. While I did enjoy watching toxic people’s world crumble, this episode still gets a meh from me dog. 5/10

56. Lies- The Adrigami was cute, and I respect Kagami as a character. The akuma could have been better tho. 5/10

57. Princess Fragrance- Not much to say here. 5/10

58. Copycat- 5/10

59. Bubbler- 5/10

60. Mime- 5/10

61. Animan- 5/10

62. Robostus- 5/10

63. Ladybug- This episode ranks this low purely because I don’t care about GabeNath, and I hate that Lila won something in the end. But Adrien saying I won’t hesitate, bitch! At the end was nice to see. 5/10

64. Catalyst- I know I ranked Mayura way higher, but Catalyst fell flat for me. Like it was fine. Wasn’t as into it though. 4.5/10

65. Puppeteer- One of my favorite lucky charm uses. 4.5/10

66. Pixelator- My favorite Cataclysm. 4.5/10

67. Horrificator- That almost-Adrinette kiss tho 4.5/10

68. Pharaoh- 4.5/10

69. Kung Food- 4.5/10

70. Rogercop- 4/10

71. Guitar Villain- 4/10

72. Dark Blade- 4/10

73. Bakerix- 4/10

74. Antibug- And now onto the bottom 10. To start us off, I will just say: UGH, this episode annoyed me. First of all, Sabrina didn’t even get her own episode. Chloe was a piece of shit. Idk why they made Ladybug the one in the wrong when Chloe was being obnoxious. Ugh. 3/10

75. Captain Hardrock- I’m gonna be honest. My apathy for this episode has grown into loathing. Toxic stans are 100% to blame. Birthday ruining, bitches. This is the reason I threw a breakup bash after Truth. Yall deserved it. 3/10

76. Christmas Special- I didn’t hate this episode as much as everyone, but it still wasn’t great. 2.5/10

77. Stormy Weather 2.0- This episode was really dumb. It didn’t need to exist. 2.0/10

78. Queen Wasp- Why did we give Chloe a Miraculous after this episode? 2/10

79. Animaestro- Did we really need a self-insert? Did we really? 2/10

80. Puppeteer 2.0- Listen, this episode would have made more sense in s1 or at the very latest early s2. Adrien gave a whole ass speech on how great Marinette is, then he turns around and is like idk if she likes me… Clean it up. 2/10

81. Miracle Queen- I could talk at length about how much I hate the ending of this episode and what they did with Chloe and Master Fu, but we’re just going to remain calm and give it a solid 1.5/10

82. Frozer- This episode made no goddamn sense. I call bullshit on so many things. Just ugh. 1/10

83. Chameleon- Surprisingly, even though this episode sparked many, many spite fics out of me, it’s not my least favorite because at least Ladybug semi-redeemed this episode. Still really dumb and ooc tho. 1/10

84. Feast- Okay, okay, okay, here we are. Bottom of the barrel. Cat’s most hated episode, and you wanna know why? You want to know why this episode fills me with the rage? Because we spent two fucking seasons building up all this mystery and lore and intrigue surrounding Fu’s big mistake, and they dropped the fucking ball! They did my mans so dirty! They could have really deepened his character, deepened the Order, deepened anything other than whatever fucking affair Gabriel and Nathalie have going on, but NO. They made it some stupid, bland-ass thing that got resolved magically in the end, then just ignored it for the rest of the season. I will never not be salty about how they did my boy Fu in this show. I’m happy he found his peace, but fuck if I’m not livid about how they did it. Whatever. Chat being done with Ladybug’s shit when they’re about to get eaten was funny I guess. .5/10

#cat speaks #cat spoils #episode ranking #long post #i'm tired now #i go to bed

57 notes · View notes

iheartbookbran · 3 years

Text

Anthony, Penelope, Marina and Colin deserved better...

Beware, rant ahead

Ok I wish I didn’t feel such strong need to continue beating this dead horse but oopsie, I will very much be beating it some more.

Like, my fave books of the Bridgerton series are Anthony’s and Colin’s books, so I’m seething about what they did with their characterizations, Anthony and Penelope in particular, because Colin’s only real sin was being boring, and if you remember how funny he’s in the books it makes me wanna fall on my knees and ask Chris Van Dusen whyyyy omg why would you do something like that to such a dynamic character. So yeah, Colin is boring af and a moron but at least he isn’t an asshole the way show Anthony and Penelope are, and I’ve seen people say that they can always be redeemed in future seasons, if we get them, but that’s exactly my problem, because they never had to be redeemed in the books, to begin with. Penelope more so than Anthony but let me begin by defending my boy.

Is he a jerk sometimes? Sure. Is he actively awful and uncaring towards those close to him, especially his family? Hell no, quite the opposite, in fact. Not to be controversial on main but in the books... he was right in not wanting Daphne to be courted by a man who he knew damn right had no intention of marrying her and as far as he was aware was only making her waste her time, and he was right in demanding Simon pay for compromising her honor. Could he have been more mindful of what Daphne had to say and listened to her wishes? Of course, but considering Simon and Daphne (both in the show and in the books) aren’t exactly masters in communication themselves, Anthony doesn’t come off as the biggest offender in that situation.

What he never did was force Daphne, or any of his sisters really, to do anything; if they didn’t like a guy then that guy was out of their lives no question asked, and he loved them enough to always have their best interests at heart, for his sisters and his brothers, to the point that even though he’s traumatized and thinks he’s gonna die young he’s still willing to get past that to do his duty and marry, because he doesn’t want to pass that burden on to his little brothers (so him deciding to leave all his responsibilities to Benedict so he can fck off with his mistress is... like, a choice lmao). In fact all the subplot with Siena felt like a choice on the writers part, like they truly liked Benedict and Sophie’s story so they just slapped it on Anthony so he could act all sad and sexy while they gave us foreshadowing with the subtlety of a warharmer that he’s ending up with Kate anyways (and that Benedict is ending with Sophie anyways too, so they would be using that storyline twice, unless they do make him bi and fall in love with a man, but maybe that’s too much of ask for this show), so what was Siena’s purpose in the story? Who tf knows not me.

Now Penelope, my god. Yes I know I joke Penny has never done anything wrong in her life, and I still love her, but she was wrong. Very much so. What she did was significantly worse than what Marina did, which I still don’t condone at all. Like yes, I still maintain that Marina tricking Colin into marriage was wrong (and I’ll go later on why that whole subplot was racist af), but what Penelope did could have not only ruined Marina and herself and her sisters reputations, but it was basically condemning an innocent unborn child to a life in the streets, that’s messed up. Even if Marina was rose-coloring her potential life with Colin and he might have grown to resent her, at least the baby would’ve been alright. And my problem with that whole subplot is that all of it was resolved so neatly, with Sir Phillip sweeping in to save the day so we don’t have to actually see what Penelope’s actions could have caused, but the implications are still very much there.

And I’m cracking my mind trying to figure out whether the showrunners just... really hate Colin’s book and Penelope as a character so they’re trying to inflict some kind of character assassination on her so they can get away with writing him off with another person without causing much outrage, or if they just thought there wasn’t enough ~drama~ or stakes on their book so they have to add them, and give him some kind of bullshit tragic romantic past to explain why he doesn’t want to marry, whereas in the books, the reason he doesn’t marry anyone is because he doesn’t feel like it, and that’s ok, there’s no need for every character to have a tragic backstory and to be riddled with angst; Colin is that character, he’s an easy going guy who’s just not interested in marriage until he falls in love with Penny AND THAT’S VALID, just because he doesn’t have the most complex motivations out there doesn’t mean he isn’t a compelling character. The stakes in his story after he discovers Penny is Whistledown are, as he points out, that she has insulted so many people there’s no way some of them wouldn’t want to retaliate if word came out, and he cares for her and doesn’t want her to get hurt (there’s also a dumb part about him being secretly jealous of her accomplishments as Whistledown, but thankfully he gets over that pretty quickly).

But while I am on that, it is true that Penelope wrote some uncharitable things about the mean people around her, but she never ever ruined someone’s reputation, let alone endanger the future of a child. Was she a bitch sometimes? Yeah, but she was also kind to a lot of people and her criticism was never unwarranted and never did more damage than maybe annoy a couple of girls like Cressida. I just hate the idea of this needing to turn into some sort of ~redemption arc~ for Penelope because, again, in the books she really didn’t have to make up for anything, definitely not to Colin, who was actually the one who had to do much of the heavy lifting in their relationship when he realized that he literally slept on her for years.

And now regarding Marina, like yes, she was wrong and I stand by that statement (but not as wrong as Penelope), but tbh I find it hard to be mad at her when they gave her such a racist storyline, as the scheming woc who gets pregnant out of wedlock and then tries to seduce the innocent white man, until the virtuous white girl needs to step up to save him. At least that’s what I thought initially as the writers intention, but honestly I’m not so sure anymore, I doubt they will continue to write her and Colin as a couple otherwise they would’ve bothered to show them interacting outside of her manipulating him and him acting like a bumbling idiot, the most sincere moment they had together was when he comforted her about the lie, but by that time this bitch (me) was empty and didn’t give a shit anymore. Literally all their other interactions where shown through Penelope’s POV to let us know she was sad, and Colin’s most significant scenes where again... with Penelope (because it isn’t as if he has a family and his own moments in the books outside of being an object for Penelope to pine after).

And as I said before, Marina had a—relatively—happy ending: married to a man she doesn’t love (just as she didn’t love Colin) but who will treat her right and care for her and her child in comfort. Is arguably a better ending than if she’d married Colin because now she doesn’t have to go through the trouble of explaining things to her new husband and run the risk of him resenting her forever. Phillip may not love her but he knows who he’s marrying and why he’s marrying her. That’s literally the same fate Marina had in the books, and it makes me wonder why, oh why would the writers do that.

Why create such a contrived plot to give a character who appears in one(1) chapter of an 8 books series then promptly dies, all at the expense of the characterization of one of the most beloved heroines of said books series? Why would you write this racist storyline for a character whose fate is dying? And now I’m horrified at the repercussions that can come with Marina committing su*cide like in canon, because the implications would be that Penelope would be responsible for it (and I hate the idea of blaming one person for the su*cide of another, fictional or otherwise, is harmful and we need to be careful with making such implications), which would make her even less redeemable or like, likable in general. Not to mention that would be like putting the final racist nail in Marina’s coffin by giving her that ending.

It makes me wonder, seriously, if Chris Van Dusen hated Romancing Mister Bridgerton that much, if he loathed the idea of writing a fat character finding love and getting sex that much. I just wanna know why lmfao.

#rant over #if i sound salty is because i am #like there actually were a lot of aspects i did enjoy but i just cannot get past this #though this rant helped me a lot to feel better so there’s that #tellmewhy.gif #anthony bridgerton #penelope featherington #marina thompson #colin bridgerton #polin #tagging them bc i rant quite a lot about how they ruined their relationship #enjoy the salt uwu #bridgerton #bridgerton netflix #bridgerton spoilers #meta #my meta

75 notes · View notes

recurring-polynya · 3 years

Note

I have to say I knew that at one point renji, ikkaku, yumichika and iba were in the same squad with kenpachi but good god you managed to paint a beautiful picture for me. I simply assumed that for them it was simply party time all the time along with a few bald jokes but this is much better. Emotionally healthy squad 11 which still love fighting more than anything. I always cringed when someone would just describe them as hooligans that do nothing but fighting. I mean they do that too but I love the idea that they are all emotionally healthy and mature, a loving and supportive family to their own - in their own wakka doodoo kind of way thats endearing - and of course they are in my opinion they single capable force against sexisim. Because they don't care about anything else - gendere, sexuality, gender performances, race, mentality or anything - other than if you fight good you respectable and if you fight good in squad 11 you family. ( like when kenpachi just became captain he made yachiru his lieutenant and no one was against it no one thought it was beneath them, sure thru nag at her sometimes but that's mostly in a banter like way because she call them stupid nicknames but no one hates her for being unrightfully their superior. One day they got a new captain and a new lieutenant that's a child and they just went with it.) I admit their disdain and disrespect to squad 4 is still frowned upon but I do believe some squad 4s can handle their own, it's just that we saw the really peaceful ones. Anyways sorry for ranting. Just wanted to say that yeah, I really like how the past squad 11 with iba and renji in it was a great place in general. I think if they found out some one was being sexist - for whatever reason - they would be there right next to nanao - or iba's mom protesting. Kenpachi and yachiru as well. And that makes me want to be squad 11 ,despite not being much for fighting, so bad.

So, for starters, thanks! I try to have fun whenever I write Squad 11, and I’m glad you enjoy my take on them.

My Squad 11 is just... really not very canon, though. Canon Squad 11 is actually pretty gross and sexist. Yumichika is transphobic, Kenpachi makes homophobic remarks about Yumichika, they bully Squad 4, there’s a filler episode devoted to a guy that Ikkaku bullied for, like 100 years because the guy lost his reiatsu saving Ikkaku’s dumb ass.

When you write fanfic, you occasionally run into these more problematic aspects of the source media, and you can choose to dig in and analyze them, or just... remake them in your own way. Take for example, Gin. If you read fanfic about Gin, there are some people who will peel away the layers of him and his fears and insecurities and still make him be a horrible gremlin, and it’s really stellar writing. Other people prefer to write him in an AU where maybe less bad stuff happened to him, and he’s more mischievous than sociopathic, and this is a less meaty interpretation, but it’s also more fun. Sometimes fanfic is a meal and sometimes it’s candy. It fulfills different needs and different fantasies and all of it is welcome.

Yumichika, who for me is the fulcrum of Squad 11, presents this problem. I really don’t like the way his “appreciation for beauty” plays out in canon. He doesn’t actually appreciate beauty, he just likes telling other people they’re ugly. I don’t think he’s ever pointed out beauty in anyone else aside from himself or his zanpakutou. I remember the first time I watched his fight with Charlotte and it struck me as so off -- why wouldn’t he find her beautiful? I mean, I know it’s a transmysogynistic joke, that’s why, men dressed as women is funny, hurr hurr, but Yumichika is gender nonconforming himself. This was an opportunity to make a cool character point, and Kubo took the cheap laughs road instead. Going back to what I said last paragraph, a skilled writer could, in theory, write about his insecurities and his brittleness and meanness and write a pretty compelling story, but a) Kubo certainly doesn’t, and I have never actually found a Yumichika-centric fanfic of this nature, and b) this doesn’t fit the role I need him to play in my stories. I am rarely really interested in writing about Squad 11 for its own sake. I like to write them as a backdrop for the period of Renji’s afterlife where he hit absolute rock bottom and bounced back up again. We already know the role Ikkaku played in this, except that Ikkaku is a complete moron in terms of mental health, and I really, really felt like this is where Yumichika needed to come in.

I like to massage Yumichika’s character a bit, but I do want to keep the flavor of some of his character flaws-- he’s still shallow and mean and judgy, and I love that for him, but I like to add in a positive side to his appreciation for beauty. Having Yumichika make fun of Izuru’s pores is funny but it’s even funnier if he’s just given Renji a compliment on his hair first. The idea that a Yumichika compliment is attainable makes all his drags the more vicious. Yumichika also judged people by their beauty instead of their moral character, which is humorous to me. He dislikes Byakuya as a person, but is obsessed with his haircare regime. I like to have him treat Rangiku as an equal, beauty-wise, and a person whose opinion he respects based on her aesthetic. Rangiku is actually a pretty savvy and very emotionally intelligent person whom many people write off because she likes to present herself as a lazy airhead, so in an extremely convoluted way, this all works out. I like to think that Yumichika’s ideas of beauty are also caught up in boldness and risk-taking and having one’s outward presentation ring true to their inner self. To me, this is the core of why he loves Ikkaku. To him, Ikkaku’s devotion to doing the most Ikkaku thing at all times, no matter how stupid, is irresistibly sexy.

Aside: At some point, I decided that the fact that a lot of people in Bleach have colorful marks on their faces and elaborate hairstyle and accessory games implied that make-up in Soul Society is gender neutral. I like to think there is actually more of a divide between the nobility, who like their make-up to follow rules and be classy, and, well, Squad 11, who like to get make-up ideas from Jem and the Holograms. I don’t even wear makeup (I don’t know how and it’s expensive and I am ashamed of myself, we can talk about my own gender presentation later) but I like to write about both my male and female characters wearing make-up. I don’t actually know how my readers feel about it, but it just falls under the “Is that what people want?”/“It’s what we do” philosophy of all my writing.

I think one of the theses of my writing is that middle management is more important to the character of a squad than the person at the top. Captains sort of act as ideals to strive for, but they are generally unapproachable for one reason or another. Yachiru is more like her captain in this respect (which makes sense, since she is, in fact part of her captain). Ikkaku and Yumichika present this dual idea that 1) strength is awesome, fighting and being the best is awesome, and 2) part of strength is presenting yourself to the world in a bold and confrontational way. (The fact that both of them are hiding huge parts of themselves is laughably ironic). Kenpachi and Yachiru are shining examples of Do Whatever You Want and Be So Strong That No One Can Stop You.

What really makes this work is that you need someone one layer down-- does anyone actually subscribe to this nonsense, and that’s why Iba - Abarai Squad 11 is Best Squad 11. I really, really enjoy the genre of Reddit posts where a total bro will find out that his girlfriend is trans and react by becoming a vehement advocate for trans rights. I love the bodybuilders typing encouragement to each other meme. Our world is flooded with disingenuous messages from concern trolls trying to tell us why being kind and inclusive to one another is bad or that you should reject help because struggle makes you stronger and the idea of a Himbo looking at something like that and saying “that seems dumb" is delightful to me.

I actually feel like there are a lot of awful people with bad ideas in Squad 11, it’s just that Renji and Iba don’t put up with their shit, and over time, that becomes the culture of Squad 11. I think that Squad 11 has incredibly turnover, but the ones who stay are the ones who subscribe to the ideas you mentioned-- fighting is what matters, if you wanna go argue about shit, go join Squad 5. In the IkkaYumi story I wrote, which happens shortly after Zaraki takes over, a ton of people leave. The Bount Arc (which I know a lot of people skipped) features a dude who was extremely pissed off because he had liked the old Kenpachi and thought Zaraki sucked and was so mad about it that he betrayed Soul Society. You might think that this arc would feature Zaraki caring about this in some way shape or form, but he really didn’t. So, I think there are a lot of Soul Reapers that took issue with serving under a little girl as a vice captain, they just aren’t in Squad 11 anymore.

Oh, one last note on Iba’s mom. I am of an age where a number of my friends have mothers who were Second Wave Feminists. The moms in question are a real mixed bag, because they Came From a Different Time, and on one hand, you have to respect what they went through, and on the other hand, they are very difficult to get along with. I liked the idea that Iba has always chafed against his mom and her big personality, and then Renji comes in, and is like, “hey, your mom is strong as hell and she has a lot of ideas that I never thought of but they make sense” and Iba realizes that, even though she’s still a huge pain in his ass, his mom is the person who made him who he is. Moms are complex.

Uhhhh, I have definitely lost the thread of wherever I was going with this post. Thank you for enjoying my Squad 11, which is nothing like canon Squad 11. Hopefully maybe this year, I will actually finish my Squad 11 Self Care story, where Renji stops being a drunk disaster person after Yumichika teaches him how to fill his brows; I got stuck on a part where Rangiku gives Renji a talk on ethical sluttery.

#squad 11 #sometimes i look at Things I Have Wrought and pull a full Talking Heads style 'how did i get here?'#my squad 11 stuff is my absolutely weirdest most bonkers writing #i am glad people seem to like it #just trying to find some meaning in this hot mess #i think i blame The Toast

25 notes · View notes

vapid-slut · 4 years

Text

Perfect Harmony; Ch.1

Warning[s]: Swearing, Michael being a dirty bitch

Word Count: 1.8k

Summary: Entering her senior year as a cheerio, the reader is excited to combine both her love of music and her newfound popularity. To Michael, however, this is the perfect opportunity to fuck with his innocent neighbor

A/N: Can we say, I hate this, because I really do. I have no idea what has compelled me to post this dumpster, just know that if you read this, no u didn’t <3 + I did not proofread this so if theres any typos I’m so sorry, I’m running on 4 hrs of sleep and 5 cups of coffee

Music was your life. Your parents often joked that you were singing before you uttered your first word. Unfortunately, there were no music clubs during your past two years of high school. It was only last year that you and the glee club won nationals, hence why you were able to keep funding. School administration was never really fond of the arts, but they would bend over backward to give the sports clubs whatever they needed.

Your biggest dream was to get a scholarship, preferably for music, since you excelled at it. All your life, you watched your father slave away to keep you happy. You just wanted to repay his kindness. Abruptly, your dream, which entailed you winning a grammy, was disrupted by the ringing of your alarm clock. Your arm stretched over to your nightstand, turning the device off, bringing the sound to a halt.

Slowly, you removed the sheets off your body, standing up for a brief stretch before walking to your bathroom. You went about your morning routine much quicker than you typically would. Mostly due to your excitement, this year would be the first that you spent closer to the top of the social food chain. Over the summer, your dad became fast friends with Coach Sylvester. She had come over a few times. And although their relationship was strictly platonic, they both had grown fond of each other. A week before school, she offered you a spot on the cheerios, one you couldn't turn down. Cheerleaders were at the very top of the pyramid. Girls wanted to be them while boys wanted to be with them.

Once you had finished doing the bare necessities your morning required, you hastily made your way to your closet, immediately reaching for one of the three cheerleading uniforms hanging on the rack. You stripped out of your pajamas before slipping into the skimpy skirt, unaware that you had an admirer. Michael had moved next door a few months into your freshman year, was a rather charming boy. He quickly became a hot commodity, no doubt due to how impeccably handsome he was. You were never too fond of him, but even you had to admit that he was a divine sight.

It never truly bothered you that the window into your room was straight across from the one piercing into his. But if you could see the look of satisfaction on his face as he watched you undress, you'd feel very unnerved. The boy had always felt attracted to you. He saw you as a challenge. You were one of the few students in your grade who was still a virgin. Not due to your looks, you frankly didn't have the time to go to parties or hook up with people. Your focus was on your education. And if getting into a great school meant sacrificing your social life, you were content with that.

Once you had finished getting your uniform on and slicking your hair into a neat updo, you gathered your things into your bag and hurried downstairs for breakfast. "Mornin' kiddo!" Your dad said, greeting you with a smile. You muttered a cheerful 'hey' in response, walking towards one of the cabinets full of cereal boxes. "Oh, I forgot to tell you. My car had to get fixed up last night so, I'll have to take yours today." You shrugged as a reply, not caring. "So am I taking the bus today?" Your father shook his head, reaching for a spoon at the same time. "No. That nice boy next door offered to give you a ride today. Isn't that sweet?"

Fuck- you thought to yourself, of course, the universe found some way to screw up your day. You took a long sigh before shifting your eyes to the clock on the wall. "Shit! I'm sorry, dad. I'd love to eat breakfast, but the Glee meeting starts in 20 minutes." Your dad shrugged, not too bothered. "It's fine, go have fun and tell Michael I said hello." You nodded to your old man, and with that, you were up and out the door.

As soon as you stepped foot outside, there he was. Hair perfectly curled, toothpick dangling from his soft lips. You sighed, walking towards the blonde, waiting for him to get out of the way. "Wow, you become a cheerleader, and now you think you're hot shit?" He spat, you gave him a death glare before pushing him lightly to get inside the car. He followed suit, taking his place in the driver's seat. "As much as I find you annoying, your ass does look great in that skirt." You scoffed, rolling your eyes at the boy as he started driving. "Listen up, Pillsbury fuckboy. Though this might seem hard to understand, I don't like you. And I'd rather not spend my senior year arguing with someone as unbearable as you, so can you please leave me alone?!"

The blonde chuckled at your response. Your mouth said one thing while your thoughts said another. "Your wish is my command." He mumbled sarcastically before reaching to turn up the music on the radio to an obscene volume. The rest of the car ride was entirely uneventful, neither of you uttering a word to each other. Ultimately, you had reached the school parking lot. Not many cars were there since it was early, and only a few clubs were meeting today. Before Michael could do anything, you swiftly got out the car, making sure to slam it loudly. "Don't fucking slam the door!" He said, his voice reaching you even though you were still walking, in response you promptly flipped him off. "Fucking bitch." He uttered lowly as you slowly left his field of view.

-----

"Welcome back, New Directions!" Glee's coach, Mr.Shue, said as you embraced your friends. "As you know, this will be our last year together, and a few of our beloved friends have left for college already. Which means we'll be having auditions for some newcomers." As he spoke, he walked over to the whiteboard, grabbing his trusted magic marker. "But there's a twist." You and everyone else in the room watched as he wrote out the words American Idol. "This time, you'll be judging with me."

You would typically be seated next to Tina and Mercedes, but they were both absent for the meeting. Instead, you sat with Santana on your left and Quinn to your right. You had to admit that it felt nice. Usually, you wouldn't ponder on things so benign. But you had spent most of high school getting teased by Michael and the rest of his sought after friends. Not a day went by that slushies weren't thrown in your face, now you could finally walk the halls without fear of humiliation.

Besides that, you were also really ecstatic to help Mr. Shue with auditions. Glee club was what had brought a group of entirely different people together. So you'd be more than glad to share that with a new ensemble of students before you all went your final ways.

-----

The rest of your day went by quicker than usual. There wasn't much to learn on the first day. Once the clock hit 3:30, You rushed to the auditorium as if your life depended on it. You had to admit that you missed the stage, singing, and dancing with your friends. You made your way the middle of the seating area, taking your place beside Artie.

A majority of the auditions were lackluster. Only a handful stood out. Like that girl Marley and that kid Jake. You were just about ready to leave and go home until something caught your attention. "Michael Langdon?" Your eyes lit up immediately as you heard the name. You watched as the blue-eyed boy made his way to the stage, smug look on his face.

There was no way in hell Michael fucking Langdon, the same boy who referred to glee as "homo explosion," would ever willingly audition. His rendition of "Suit and Tie" was incredible, which only pissed you off more. Not only was he insanely attractive, but he just had to be talented too, fucking men.

You watched as your fellow glee members watched in amusement. It was the girls who seemed most excited. Eventually, it all became too much, and before the boy could finish entertaining your friends, you stormed off into the parking lot. Far too upset with the blonde to drive home with him, you sent your friend Mike a text asking if he could get you. He lived pretty close to the school, so you knew it would only take a few minutes.

-----

By the time Mike had pulled up to the building, the other glee kids were exiting. You quickly reached for the door of his car, rushing to get to the passenger seat. "You alright?" He asked, worried by how fidgety you were. You nodded. "Yea, I just wanna go home." Mike was always very comforting. The two of you became friends during your freshman year, mostly because of how many classes you shared. You both had a love for music and were smart, so it wasn't long before you two clicked.

Within a few minutes, you had arrived at your house, Mike flashing you a smile. "Thank you for coming to get me. It means a lot." The dark-haired boy shrugged. "It's no biggie, see you tomorrow, cheerio." You rolled your eyes sarcastically. "Whatever, jock-face." And with that, you entered your home.

The house was currently empty. He was taking the night shift at the hospital so, he probably wouldn't come back till late at night. You walked up the stairs to your room, dropping your bag on the floor. After everything that had gone down today, you were exhausted. You quickly took off the scanty cheer uniform and slipped on your much softer penguin pajamas.

You practically threw yourself on the bed, hoping to get some rest, but were promptly distracted by a notification on your phone. The text, from an unknown number nonetheless, read 'look outside your window.' You quickly sat up, confused, and turned your head only for your eyes to be met by Michael Langdon, who just happened to be balls deep inside some random brunette.

You gave the boy a disgusted look before pulling down your blinds. Never in your life had you been more repulsed. Your mind tried long and hard to block out any memory of what you just witnessed. After around forty-five minutes, you received another text message from non-other than Michael.

'It's a shame you missed my performance."

'Go fuck yourself, Langdon.'

'If you say so ;)'

The rest of the night, you wondered what you had done to be the new subject of Mr. Pillsbury Fuckboys torment. You had spent most of your high school years avoiding him at cost. Suddenly it seemed like you weren't getting rid of him anytime soon. You were just lucky you only had to endure this for a few more months, and then you'd be on your way.

Or so you thought.

#Hawthorn!Michael x Reader #michael langdon x reader #michael langdong imagine #michael langdon smut #michael langdon blurb #michael langdon

121 notes · View notes

stahlop · 4 years

Text

Making a Memory (2/?)

I’m so thrilled with the response this story had been getting. Thank you all so much. Here’s chapter 2. We catch up with Emma and Killian and see what’s going on in their lives.

Thank you to @profdanglaisstuff and @thisonesatellite my amazing betas. And thanks to @gingerchangeling for the amazing artwork.

Also, thank you @cssns for putting this whole thing together.

Chapter 1

Read it on Ao3

Emma eased open the door to her apartment, her shoulder aching as she did. Her stupid skip had tried to run and had rammed her right into a brick wall. She’d broken his nose for that stunt. She just wanted to get inside, get a bag of ice for her shoulder, pop open a beer, and watch Netflix.

She was still getting used to the silence of the apartment now that Hope was at camp. It had only been two weeks, but it still felt like she was walking into a tomb when she came in the door. She honestly couldn’t remember a time when it had been so quiet. It was either Henry or Hope who was always making some kind of sound; whether it was watching television, talking on the phone, or laughing at something online. Heck, Emma would even take when Henry used to pretend to chase Hope around the apartment just to listen to her baby shrieks (even if it did annoy Mrs. Pendergast next door, God rest her soul). Maybe she’d give Henry a call later just to see what he was up to.

Emma closed the door behind her, locked it, and kicked off her heels before heading over to the freezer to grab an ice pack. It was still weird to her sometimes that Henry didn’t live there anymore, but he was 28, too old to live with his mother and teenage sister. He’d stuck around much longer than she expected him to anyway, not moving out until he was almost 25 and had got his first book deal. She was incredibly proud of him for that.

The ice pack was cool against Emma’s skin, as she had worn her tried and true black tank dress which made her skin look almost porcelain and her blonde hair almost gold, a look that many of her skips went for. She could already see the bruise that was starting to form. Luckily, the dress was still intact. Luckily, the dress still fit her at the age of 45 and she still had her figure. Luckily, she still looked young enough to entice men off the internet for a date that were Henry’s age who had skipped their bail. Her face didn’t have too many wrinkles, and her hair was still a lovely blonde color and she didn’t need to color it yet. Her feet weren’t too happy with her though, having had to chase him down in the 4 inch heels. She was finally beginning to believe she might be too old for this shit (as Murtaugh used to say. God, how old was that movie? Now she really felt old.). Her boss didn’t like her using the honeytrap ruse anymore. Emma thought it might also be because he had a crush on her and he got a bit jealous, but maybe she would take him up on the offer to just work on the research end of tracing bail jumpers and leaving the trapping and chasing of skips to her younger coworkers.

She opened her fridge and grabbed a beer with a twist off cap, just easier in the long run, before heading into her bedroom (ice pack in one hand, beer in the other) to change into sleep shorts and a tank top. As she set down the beer and ice pack on her dresser, she remembered that she hadn’t checked her phone since calling the police to pick up her skip. He’d been cursing at her the whole time after she’d handcuffed him to a bike rack. He’d called her a bitch and a cunt, told her where she could shove a few things, and then detailed what he would do to her if he ever found her again. He talked pretty big for someone who was wanted for embezzling. Emma had learned a long time ago not to engage once the cops were on the way. It only led to injuries she couldn’t always explain on someone who was cuffed and couldn’t fight back.

Emma quickly changed into sleepwear, fixed the ice pack onto her shoulder with some medical tape, and got on top of the covers, ready to watch some of her favorite old tv series. Once comfortable, she finally checked her phone and was shocked to see there were several voicemails. One was from Henry, but the others were from numbers she didn’t recognize.

Grabbing the notepad and pen off the nightstand where she always kept them in case a call came in about a skip, Emma pressed the play button for the first voicemail on her phone and put it on speaker so she could write down whatever she needed to with ease.

“Ms Swan, this is Director Hatfield from Camp Evergreen.” Emma’s heart instantly seized. She could not think of a single reason the director of Hope’s sleepaway camp would call her that wasn’t bad news. “I am, unfortunately, calling with bad news.” There was a pause, what seemed like the longest pauses in the history of pauses ever after someone told you they had bad news. Who taught this lady how to deliver bad news? She’d barely said two sentences and Emma was about to tear her hair out in anticipation. “At this time we are unable to locate your daughter, Hope Swan.” Panic gripped Emma, her whole body tensing up. What the hell did that mean they couldn’t locate her daughter! “We went into town today, something we do once a week for the older campers, she failed to meet us at the designated time an hour ago. Please know that she could not have gone far and we have the local authorities searching for her. I don’t want you to worry. Here is my personal cell number for you to call me when you receive this. Thank you.” Emma quickly wrote down the cell number and listened back to the message again. Her heart was practically in her throat in fear and her jaw was clenched so hard in anger that she thought she might break a tooth. How dare this woman tell her not to worry when her daughter was missing. How could Hope be missing? How could someone lose her pride and joy? Her little girl. Before she could really work herself up, Emma remembered there were several other messages. She prayed one of them was telling her that Hope had been found.

“Ms Swan, this is Director Hatfield from Camp Evergreen again. It’s been two hours since Hope was supposed to meet us and we still haven’t found her. The authorities have been searching the area and I’m sure you will be getting a phone call from them as well. Please know that we are doing everything we can to find her. I’m still confident that she must still be in the area and just lost track of the time. I will continue to update you on her whereabouts. Once again, here is my personal cell phone number. Thank you.” Emma checked the times the messages were left. The first had been at 6PM, right when she had arrived for her date, the second exactly an hour later at 7PM, a little before the time she’d gotten rammed into the wall by her skip. She’d remembered hearing a church bell ring down the street signaling the time.

The next message was from a different number received at 7:15.

“Ms Swan, this is Chief Mike Donnelly from the Evergreen Police Department. Ms Hatfield has informed me about the disappearance of two girls, one of whom is your daughter.” Two girls! Emma paused the voicemail trying to collect her thoughts. Had Hope and another girl run off together? Emma’s mind was racing. If it was just Hope gone Emma figured she had just lost track of the time, even though Hope never lost track of the time. Hope was always punctual, but Emma had figured there was always a first time for everything. She was almost 14 and teenagers weren’t the most reliable people, even though Hope was one of the most punctual people Emma had ever known. She sometimes used to joke about where the punctuality genes had come from since neither she nor Neal were ever on time for anything. But there were two missing girls. There was now another factor. Had this other girl convinced Hope to run away from camp? Was there something between the two of them that they felt the need to run away? Had the other girl taken Hope by force? Emma didn’t think they could have got far seeing as they were on Cape Cod. So many questions were swarming around in Emma’s head. She pressed play. “We are on the lookout for both girls, but if you could please give me a call back right away so we could go over some details to help us out that would be greatly appreciated. Here is the station’s number and please ask for Chief Donnelly. Thank you.” Emma quickly added the chief’s number to her notepad trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

The last message was from Henry. Emma debated whether to listen to his message or not. It couldn’t nearly be as important as calling back the chief or the director of the camp, but something compelled her to listen to Henry’s call anyway. The voicemail had come in about a half an hour after the sheriff had left his message.

“Hi mom.” Henry began and Emma’s skin prickled immediately. She could already tell by the tone of his voice that he had something to tell her that she wasn’t going to like. “I’m sure you’ve heard by now that Hope is missing from camp and the reason I know that is because she’s with me.” Emma was positively going to kill Henry. She was going to murder him. What the hell was he thinking taking Hope from camp without permission. “And if they’ve mentioned that there’s another girl missing, well,” Henry gave a large sigh, “I have Alice too.” Oh shit! This was worse than she’d thought. It would have been easy to explain taking his sister without permission, but now he’d taken another girl? What the hell had Henry been thinking? “Please don’t send the cops after us. There is a perfectly valid explanation for this, just not one I can give over the phone.” Emma highly doubted that. “I’m going to need you to contact the other girl’s father and convince him not to press kidnapping charges. I know that’s a lot to ask, but I promise I can explain everything once you two meet us at Chantey’s Lobster House in Maine. Once again, mom, please don’t send the cops. Just get a hold of Killian Jones and bring him with you to the Lobster House. Here’s his number. And mom…. I love you.”

Emma stared at the phone as if willing it to tell her more. What the hell had Henry gotten himself into? What did Hope have to do with it? What did this other girl have to do with it? Emma couldn’t see any way this was going to end well. And now she had to contact this girl, Alice’s father? What was he going to think when the mother of the man who kidnapped his daughter called him up and told him not to worry and they had to go to some lobster house in Maine?

Emma quickly jotted down the number and tried to think of a way to justify what Henry had done when she talked to this Killian Jones. But first, she had to play the concerned parent and call back the chief and the director before she murdered her own kid.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Killian Jones was absolutely beside himself. After several phone calls from the director of the camp Alice had gone to and then a call from the chief of police, it seemed they were nowhere nearer to finding his daughter. He couldn’t lose her. He just couldn’t. She was all he had left after Milah. He couldn’t lose her too. The gods wouldn’t be so cruel, would they? All he could do now was wait by his phone for someone to contact him.

There was nothing he could do in his small house that could distract him from the fact that Alice was missing. She was all around him. Photos lined the hallway and every available flat surface of their two bedroom house. He’d missed her fiercely since she left for camp almost two weeks ago, having never been apart for more than an overnight sleepover. Killian hadn’t been that keen on Alice going to sleepaway camp for six weeks, but she had been so excited to go, having secured herself a scholarship all on her own (sneaking into his financials after he’d gone to bed and copying his tax forms to send, modern day pirate she was), that he just couldn’t deny her. Having just been the two of them for so long, he was already having trouble adjusting, but now that she was missing it was like his heart had been ripped from his chest. Never, in his 49 years, had he ever remembered feeling like this.

He subconsciously ran his fingers through his graying hair (silver, Alice called it), while he tapped his false hand on his leg, a nervous habit he’d picked up when Alice was a child. It had been two hours since the last phone call from Chief Donnelly and Killian wasn’t expecting another phone call from him that night. He couldn’t possibly think what had happened to Alice. He knew she was a little flighty, but he couldn’t imagine that she would purposely leave camp on her volition. Not with the way she’d been so excited to go. Unless something had happened.

Suddenly, Killian remembered that he’d received a letter in the mail from Alice, but he hadn’t actually opened anything as he had checked the mailbox while checking his messages. He had almost forgotten that he’d received the letter.

Quickly, Killian ran over to the kitchen counter where he’d dropped the mail and sorted through the bills and junk mail that had also been in the mailbox. He finally spotted it. The pale blue envelope from the stationary that Alice had insisted on buying for camp so she could ‘write him a letter a day’. While he hadn’t received a letter a day, he had received at least four in the time she’d been at camp, this would make the sixth. He hurriedly ripped open the letter.

“Ow!” he said as he stuck the now cut finger in his mouth. He pulled out the letter to see Alice’s swirly script, very similar to his own. He hoped this letter gave some insight into her disappearance.

Dear Papa,

I am sorry it’s been awhile since I’ve written. I know I said I’d write a letter a day, but a lot has been happening.

Hope and I really got into it yesterday. We’ve been secluded from the rest of the camp. We’ve been put in the Get Along Cabin in order for us to get along. Neither one of us is happy about it. But it is what it is. I’m not even sure how it got so far that we ended up in this situation, Papa. It’s like we were magnets that just couldn’t be near each other and the closer we got the more we wanted to repel the other and it just got completely out of hand. I hope you are not too disappointed in my behavior. I’ve felt really bad about everything since we’ve been placed in solitude. Hopefully, we will work things out with no outside interference.

I hope you aren’t too lonely without me there, Papa. I miss you and can’t wait to come home in a few weeks.

Love,

Alice (your Starfish)

Killian’s eyes brimmed with tears. There was nothing in the letter to indicate why she had run off or been taken. Could it have something to do with this Hope girl she wasn’t getting along with. Alice may be a little unusual, but she usually got along with her peers with no problems. He recalled that Alice had mentioned that she and Hope looked very similar in one of her previous letters. Had whomever taken her thought she was Hope? Had they taken both her and Hope because they weren’t sure which was which? Was Hope the other girl who was missing?

Killian had no idea how he was going to try and sleep with his daughter missing. It turns out, he didn’t. He tried, he really did, but all he ended up doing was tossing and turning and randomly checking his phone, even though it was plugged in and the sound was on so he’d hear if someone called him. Finally, when he saw the sun barely starting to peek through the curtains, he gave up. He checked his phone again, cursed that there were no new notices, and decided his best course of action was to take a shower and wait until he was contacted. He’d never taken one the previous day, and he was sure he still smelled like fish after having worked at the fish cannery all day, even if he was a floor manager, and didn’t work directly with the fish anymore. Which also reminded him that he would need to call out of work. He’d never be able to concentrate with Alice missing.

After calling work and a ‘sorry’, ‘take all the time you need’, and ‘keep us updated’ from his boss, Killian started to head to the bathroom to take a shower when he heard a soft knocking on his door. It was 6:15 in the morning and he couldn’t imagine who would be paying a visit this early. His heart skipped a beat when he realized it had to be about Alice. Maybe they’d contacted local law enforcement to take a statement from him, or canvas their house for clues. He forgot that he was still in his blue plaid sleep pants and graying white undershirt when he answered the door to find a nervous looking, but extremely gorgeous blonde woman standing on his front porch.

“Can I help you?” Killian asked warily. Her eyes darted around nervously, and she was wringing her hands together. She kept opening her mouth to speak and then closing it, as if she couldn’t think of the right words. Killian started to get annoyed. He crossed his arms and looked at her sternly.

“Look, ma’am, if you’re here selling something I’m not in the mood.”

“No, I…” The woman took a deep breath and started again. “I’ve been trying to figure out what to say to you all night. My name is Emma Swan and I know where your daughter is.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emma was not sure what she expected when Killian Jones opened the door, but she definitely did not expect for her heart to immediately start fluttering and her stomach to fill with butterflies. She chalked it up to having to tell him that her son had effectively kidnapped his daughter, not because he was devastatingly handsome, with piercing blue eyes and silver streaks threaded through his dark brown hair. She really needed to focus on the task at hand.

His eyebrows had both raised into his hairline and Emma thought she saw tears in his eyes. She recognized the look of hope in his face, and then, just as quickly his face became very strained, his eyes tiny slits, and the color of his face went from nicely tanned to practically purple.

“Is this some kind of sick joke?” he practically yelled into her face. “Did Donny send you to mess with me, because that’s really low, even for him.”

Emma flinched, afraid that he might even hit her. This was not the reaction she had hoped for. And it kind of pissed her off that he thought she was joking with him.

“Um, no,” Emma said shortly. “My name is Emma Swan, my daughter is Hope Swan.” She saw a spark of recognition in his eyes when she mentioned her daughter’s name. Good, that was good. “I believe… no,” she stopped and corrected herself. “I know that our daughters have run away from camp together.”

His face immediately changed back to the face of hope Emma had seen when she’d first mentioned knowing where Alice was. The purple slowly drained away, leaving his face a more normal shade.

“Look, I don’t know a lot of details Mr. Jones.” Emma wasn’t sure why, but it felt really weird to call him that. Her instincts were telling her that Mr. Jones was the wrong thing to call him, but until he said otherwise, she was going to keep this professional. “All I know is that they’re with my son, Henry.” She saw him raise one eyebrow and lick his lips, which in any other circumstance she was sure would be sexy as hell, but right now, it was plain intimidating. “I have no idea why he has taken it upon himself to take them away from camp,” she said quickly, “or what the circumstances behind this whole adventure is. All I know is that he called me, told me he had his sister and your daughter, and that I had to find you and meet them at a crabhouse in Maine.” She looked up at him, sure that he was going to think this was all a sick joke again, but instead she saw him open the door wider.

“Please come in.” He was watching her like a hawk, looking for some sign that she wasn’t who she said she was, and that this was all a colossal joke on his behalf. Usually, he read people pretty well. Friends had said he probably should’ve gone into law enforcement or become a lawyer with the way he was able to just look at a person and know all about them. It’s what made him a good manager as well. It helped him spot good people to hire whether they had the experience or not. He’d rather have people who had motivation to work rather than people just there for a paycheck. Made for much more productive workers. A gorgeous woman like her should be walking with confidence, not slack shoulders, not with the slight curve in her back, and her emerald eyes should definitely not be searching his to find the same meaning and understanding about what was happening. The whole thing unnerved him quite a bit.

“Take a seat while I change into something more, er, presentable, and then I’ll get some coffee started while we sort this whole mess out,” Killian said, pointing with his hand toward the couch in the other room. Emma nodded.

It was every parent’s worst nightmare, Killian thought as he pulled on fresh boxers and jeans, to be told that your child was missing and to find out she had run away on her own accord. Or had she? Killian couldn’t help but think that from the last letter Alice had sent that she wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere near this girl. What had possessed her to run off with her? He finished getting dressed quickly (realizing only too late that he had dressed himself completely in black, including black leather glove on his prosthetic hand) before heading back out towards the kitchen to get the promised coffee started. It was once he pressed the on switch that he heard the crying coming from the other room.

He came around the corner to see her holding a picture of him and Alice. He knew exactly which photo it was. It was Alice at the harbor last summer. They’d gone down to check something at his office before heading to the actual beach, but Alice had insisted on an impromptu photo shoot because of the way the shadows were hitting the docks. She looked almost as if she were caught in a spider’s web the way the shadows of the masts from some of the sailboats were hitting her. It was an absolutely stunning picture, but he wasn’t sure if it should evoke the tears that were pouring down Emma Swan’s face. He could tell that tears did not come easily to this woman.

Her tears were interrupted by the beeping of the coffee maker. Emma looked up to see him staring at her, which made her immediately wipe her tears off on her sleeve, and the little bit of the real Emma Swan that he had seen was now blocked by walls a mile high. She promptly straightened her shoulders and flicked her hair behind her back.

“How do you have this picture?” she asked in an accusing tone. The change was astounding, Killian thought. It was almost as if she was a completely different person. And now he was getting angry. Who the hell was this woman coming into his house, telling him that her son had kidnapped his daughter, and now was accusing him of, he wasn’t sure what exactly, but it was definitely an accusation of some sort.

“That,” Killian said, plucking the picture from her hands and placing it back down on the side table in its proper place, “is my Alice, so that is why I have that picture. As you can see, there are plenty of pictures of her around this house.” A look of shock crossed Emma’s face, but Killian stomped back into the kitchen, grabbed two mugs from the cabinets in his good hand, and poured a cup of coffee for himself and his guest. He automatically poured in a good amount of sugar before he realized what he was doing and was about to offer her the black coffee, when she took the over-sugared coffee from him and took a sip. She smiled, apparently satisfied with it. She looked back over at the picture and then looked at the other pictures that were around her, her eyes getting very big. Eventually, and with a bit of anger, she opened her purse, took out her wallet, grabbed something out of it and threw it on the counter.

“Care to explain this?” she asked heatedly.

Killian took the item to see an almost identical picture of who he assumed was Hope in the shadows. He could tell it wasn’t the same picture, the shadows were all wrong and the girl in this photo had her hair pulled back into a ponytail, plus, she was dressed in a way that Alice would never dress, but Killian could see why Emma had possibly mistaken her Hope for his Alice. And this revelation made him even more upset because she was looking at him like he had somehow invaded her life because of the similarities between their daughters.

“Look, Mrs. Swan,” Killian said curtly, “I’m sure that…”

“It’s Miss,” Emma said, even more irritated.

“What?” Killian asked, his blue eyes flashing.

“It’s Miss Emma Swan, not Mrs. Swan. I never married Henry and Hope’s father.” And why Emma felt the need to reveal that last part was beyond her. It’s not like she needed to defend her choices to this man. But something about him made her want to tell him all her secrets, even if they had only just met, so she added, “I didn’t trust Neal enough to marry him. He left me in a bad way after Henry and he only came back into our lives when Henry was 11. I didn’t want to let him back in, but I did, and then Hope came along.” God, why was she just vomiting her whole life story to this man?

“But he left you anyway?” Killian asked seeing as there was no way Hope’s father wouldn’t be here with his daughter missing.

“He died,” Emma said softly. “Apartment fire when Hope was two. It’s why we ended up moving to Boston. We’d been living in New York before.” Killian’s ears perked at the mention of an apartment fire.

“Same with Alice’s mother. Apartment fire when she was two. It’s also how I lost the hand.” He lifted the gloved hand and got a little bit of recognition from Emma that she hadn’t realized until this moment that he was missing the hand. “What are the odds?” Killian wondered aloud as he thought of Milah and how he’d tried to get her and their young daughter out of their apartment, but the smoke had become too much for her and she’d collapsed halfway down the stairs. He thought they’d been safe then, firemen coming up the stairs to help. He’d handed Alice over to one of the firemen when the roof above caved in, effectively trapping Milah under it and severing his hand in the process. If it hadn’t been for Alice, he wasn’t sure if he would have had the strength to move on. “We were in Boston. I decided, even though I worked at the docks, we needed to be away from the city. That’s how we ended up on the outskirts. It sucks to drive an hour away for work, but we have this little house, and a yard, and everything Milah and I had dreamed of for Alice.” He put his hand over hers as a comforting gesture. Emma initially tried to pull her hand away, but she recognized the gesture for what it was and relaxed into it.

“Hope and Henry are the two best things to happen to me, even if their father was a bastard. I don’t know how I ended up with two great kids like them. I just don’t understand what Henry was thinking, taking our daughters with him on this insane adventure. It’s one thing for him to have stolen off with Hope, but to take your daughter as well. I can’t even begin to know what was going through all of their heads.” Emma fought the tears that were welling up in her eyes. This was not the way she’d raised her children.

‘I’m sorry for practically accusing you… I don’t even know what I was accusing you of,” Emma said looking around the house at all the pictures of Alice. “It’s, just, they’re practically identical, don’t you think?” Killian nodded in agreement. “It just seems so weird, that’s all. And when I saw the picture of Alice, so similar to the one of Hope, it just felt like you were involved in this whole thing somehow.”

“Look, Swan.” Killian didn’t know why he decided to just go the last name route, probably because he didn’t want to get back into a semantics argument with her, but something about just calling her Swan sounded right to his ears and felt correct in his mouth. “Why don’t you tell me everything your son, Henry was it, told you and we can go from there?” She certainly didn’t seem like the type of woman to have raised a son that would kidnap people for nefarious purposes.

Emma pulled out her phone and cued up the voicemail. They listened to it together. Emma closed her eyes and wet her lips while they listened to it. Killian felt the stirring of something in his lower extremities and he almost had to pinch himself. This was not the time to be aroused by a beautiful woman in his house, especially when the look on her face was not one of seduction (although he’s sure the way she was concentrating with that little crease between her eyes was extremely sexy when in the bedroom), but of hoping to the gods that her son’s voicemail would end on any note other than I’m with my sister and another girl, meet us at a lobster house in Maine.

Killian requested listening to it a few more times before he was satisfied that the voicemail was not some type of hoax from Emma’s son, nor was it a real kidnapping requiring some kind of ransom.

“And you have no idea what possessed him to do this?” Killian asked Emma who shrunk further and further behind her walls everytime she listened to her son’s voice telling them he had the girls.

“Not a clue!” she said rather defensively. “I raised him better than that. I mean, I wouldn’t say this is technically kidnapping. I mean, I don’t know Alice, but I feel like they both went with him willingly. I just don’t understand why! This could kill his career.” She stopped, eyes blown wide. “Oh, god! What if this is all some publicity stunt?” Killian questioningly raised an eyebrow. God dammit was that sexy. No, focus Emma, focus. “Henry is an author, and his next book, the sequel to a very successful first book, comes out next month.” Emma explained. “I don’t know how this would tie into it, but that’s the only plausible reason I can come up with for him to do something like this,” Emma said, exasperated.

“Does your son write some type of crime novels?” Killian asked, not understanding how this could be a publicity stunt.

“No. He writes fantasy. He writes alternative fairy tales. So I have no idea how this would fit in. But I know that if this isn’t a publicity stunt that his career would be ruined if you charged him with kidnapping,” Emma lamented.

Something about what Emma had said about Henry’s book struck a chord with Killian. What was it? Alternative fairy tales, the name Henry. Killian knew the book Emma was talking about. The book Alice had been obsessed with for over the past year. Her art had completely changed from drawing landscapes to drawing characters from that book.

“Wait! Is the book you’re talking about titled Once Upon a Time?” Killian asked incredulously. Emma just nodded, pulling nervously on the ends of her hair. Killian paced up and down the room thinking. Could Alice have orchestrated this whole thing? Killian knew she was a huge fan of the book. Maybe she found out he and Hope were siblings and somehow arranged a meeting during their town day? And how coincidental that Alice’s favorite book author would have a sister that looked identical to her.

“I think we may have solved at least one riddle here. That is Alice’s favorite book. She’s almost bordering on obsessive. I think she would definitely, willingly go anywhere with Henry if he asked, especially if it was with her bunkmate at camp.” Killian sat down on the couch next to Emma and took her hands in his, putting his good hand on top. “I don’t think this is your fault, Emma. I don’t think you raised a psychopath, or that Alice was kidnapped either.” Emma looked visibly relieved at this admission. “But I do think that you need to call Henry and find out when to meet him so we can find out what the fuck is going on and why they’re in Maine of all places.”

Tag List: (Let me know if you want to be added or removed)

@profdanglaisstuff @thisonesatellite @mariakov81 @hollyethecurious @winterbaby89 @jennjenn615 @kmomof4 @superchocovian @lfh1226-linda @ilovemesomekillianjones @cssns @itsfabianadocarmo @xsajx

#cssns #captain swan supernatural summer #csff #inspired by the parent trap #gingerchangeling #Captain Swan #captain swan ff

47 notes · View notes

destiny-smasher · 3 years

Text

My personal 2020 GOTYs

1) Hades

This game, dudes. THIS GAME. A fraction of the budget, a fraction of the dev team size, reportedly HEALTHY development schedule and management...and imo it offers at least some of everything I want out of a single player video game. I have poured over 60 hours into this and I see myself putting in some more over time and ALL of the time I have spent has felt rewarding and edifying. Clever design, smart writing, organic voice acting, sharp gameplay, and all done at a fraction of the resources of these big budget, bloated games. You love to see it.

2) Final Fantasy 7 Remake (Part 1?)

I went into this year not caring much about this game at all. FF7 was a game I played as a teen, enjoyed, respected, and moved on from pretty easily. This Remake, so far, has done more than I could’ve expected in terms of actually REMAKING a game. It’s literally a new adaptation, and I as pleasantly surprised at just how hard it went. From realizing the world of Midgar into something so full of detail and plausibility, to reiterating and doubling down on its postmodern anti-corporation themes, to making Barret the character I loved the MOST somehow?? Combining everything I love about real-time RPG action with a tactical strategy element long missing from the genre, reimagining and fleshing out characters and concepts into something deeper and more meaningful...I’ve never considered myself a huge FF7 fan but this game was really something, and I absolutely cannot wait for more (and praying they do my girl Yuffie justice). I’ve been super skeptical of Nomura as a director given...the mess that has become Kingdom Hearts, but as it turns out, when he has others to reign things in, some surprisingly nuanced stuff for an anime game can come out of it. It has its flaws, to be sure, but it’s still the most enjoyable experience I had with a big budget game this year.

3) The Last of Us Part 2

I feel conflicted over this one in particular - I feel Neil is not longer a director I respect the way I did back with the first game. I feel Naughty Dog is falling victim to all of the late capitalist issues plaguing big budget game dev. But I also love this game. It’s much more flawed than the first, but that’s mainly because it’s more ambitious and complicated. It’s THE most flawed game on this game, honestly, but overall as a game I am compelled to respect its writing, its gutsier decisions, its art direction, acting, presentation, etc. It’s an impressive game and the most technically impressive game I played all year if not all generation. Props where they’re due, but at the same time, I think this game was poorly directed and I love it in spite of issues with its production, rather than because of some strong vision. That’s the big Sony bucks, I suppose, matched with a dev team willing and apparently somehow able to fulfil what they want to create. I still get the impression there was a bit of ‘design by committee for a mainstream audience’ kind of shit going on - how could there not with something this big? - and as a result I think the game is a bit bloated. Shave off about 3-5 hours from a few spots and it’d be a more focused game, and maybe I’d feel more edified and satisfied rather than weirdly conflicted. Even so, a huge accomplishment and I hope to see more games tackle premises as ambitious as this down the road.

4) Bug Fables

This game technically launched last year but it debuted on console in 2020, and I didn’t play it until then. This is as close to a follow-up to old school Paper Mario as it gets, while simultaneously doing a lot to forge its own identity and even improve on the formula presented in the previous games. Its rough around the edges but that’s mainly because it’s an independent game, and it’s amazing just how well the dev team was able to reproduce the scope and details of this specific subgenre of RPG, all while continuously implementing new game design elements and multiple features that make it feel more modern in its direction. Fantastic stuff, I’m still not even finished with it because I’ve been taking my sweet time, though I intend to finally finish it this month, and I have to say, it’s quite a special game in my opinion.

5) Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout

Absolute banger of a multiplayer game, really love the presentation, the concept, the overall execution, the way the team has been updating the game every month or so in response to feedback and implementing new content. So good to see the battle royale genre FINALLY pushed beyond just...arena shooting. Can’t wait to see where else this game can go over time.

6) Animal Crossing: New Horizons

Somehow this one slipped my mind when I first wrote this up, despite having poured well over 100 hours into it this year. I think part of it is that New Horizons did a lot of things I’ve wanted the series to do for so long, and yet is still far behind in terms of so many other things I wish they would do. Quality of life things prevent me from really re-investing into it, and yet despite that I have to admit it REALLY sucked me in for a solid few weeks and I continued to play off and on for months. It was the perfect game we collectively needed right when it came out and graphically I can’t think of how to really improve on that style. A really relaxing getaway I needed earlier this year, though like with previous AC games, I don’t find myself going back to it as much as I’d think I would.

7) Going Under

A surprise hit for me, this rogue-like swooped in from ‘heh that looks amusing’ to ‘oh wow this is legit just a great game.’ Its weird visuals, funky 3D gameplay, and surprisingly sharp storytelling make for a rogue-like unlike any other and one totally near the top for me.

8) Marvel’s Spider-Man: Miles Morales

Squeezed this in just this past week or so, and this one also satisfied me greatly. I wish we’d see more big budget open-world games like this -- laser focused, not wasting any time, and not being repetitious aside for completionists. So cool to see another team’s take on Miles after how much I fell for Into the Spider-verse, and very glad the team both homages that movie while subverting some expectations fans of the film might have, all while continuing to adapt Insomniac’s take on Spider-Man from a couple years ago.

9) Demon’s Souls (Remake)

As a big fan of FromSoft who never got too far into this one originally, it’s been great to visit it as if it’s a new Souls game with an alternate art style. And a very clean art style it has. This was a good pick to be remastered because many, even FromSoft fans like myself, missed out on it, and it feels unique from its predecessors while still showing a solid foundation they’d go on to build from.

10) Crash Bandicoot 4

An amazingly well done follow-up to the original trilogy, this game GETS what makes old school Crash games good, and it improves upon things in a number of ways, from making Coco the alternate hero, bringing back old faces in new lights, going ham with the visuals both in raw art and unique filters when replaying stages, and giving incentive for completion with so many great costumes. Well done, great old school platforming with modern design sensibilities.

Honorable Mentions:

CrossCode

This also technically launched before 2020 but I didn’t play it until this year, and I don’t think it hit consoles until this year. I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect going in, just remembering that I had enjoyed the demo well enough. This game delivers in most ways you could want from an indie game, with an expansive world of sidequests and RPG growth, a flexible combat system that can be nailbiting and engaging, and old-school dungeon designs with lots of environmental and elemental puzzles that really ask a lot of you. All of this capped with a surprisingly great narrative with characters I grew to love, including a much needed protagonist with a unique identity unlike any in games that I’ve played, as well as extra bits of detail and production values invested at JUST the right moments where the story needs it the most. It feels a bit tedious at times and part of me wishes more of the sidequest content involved direct interactions with the named, recurring characters, but it’s still one of the most impressive and well-done indie games I’ve ever played.

Katana ZERO

Razor-sharp game design, this one. It’s a brief but intensely focused experience that feels like the video game equivalent of a slick, experimental indie film. Could do with some more replayablity for those who want it but what’s here is just damn good and I gobbled this game down like a fantastic, hand-cooked meal at an atmospheric dive bar barely anyone knows about.

Necrobarista

Haven’t quite finished it yet but this is definitely one of the best visual novels I’ve ever experienced just due to how hard it goes on presentation and pushing for a more cinematic and thoughtful vibe than any other VN I’ve ever experienced. The characters and writing feel ripped out of an early 2000′s webcomic, for better and for worse, but all the same, it’s some fantastic stuff and it’s so refreshing to see a game set in Australia tackling a well-worn genre by giving it a new spin.

Slay the Spire

Another personal pick since this released in 2019, and I’m not quite sure which consoles it hit or when, but I didn’t get into it until early this year, and was totally hooked. Fantastically addictive, probably the most well-design deck-building rogue-like I’ve seen, certainly one of my favorite deck-building games in general. Apparently I’ve sunk 50 hours into it this year, more than most on this list, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that number spikes up again at some point.

#personal #GOTY #long post

6 notes · View notes

fencesandfrogs · 3 years

Text

an abridged history/explanation of warrior cats if you didn’t read them as a kid and have questions (a primer)

welcome. i’m going to keep things to the point, this is not a plot summary, just, well, its a pandemic and people are seeking items of childhood comfort and its come to my attention that a lot of people didn’t read these books as kids and then they come up in conversation and they act shocked so! i felt compelled to write this.

[2.5k words, 10min read. section headers, no pictures. not a ton of helpful formatting. i don’t want to say don’t read this because obviously i wrote it and think it’s worth reading, but i’ll be honest, this is a lot.]

section one: about me

i was an avid reader as a child, most of which fits solidly into “stories for another time,” and some of which would necessitate me adding tags onto this post that are, well, not necessary. so i will skip over that backstory but for those aware of lexile scores, i had one that was too high for literally any book that was appropriate to give me. so reading in school was torture and reading for fun was excellent.

now because i was a first-ish grader and my mom was trying to keep the fifth harry potter out of my hands, she looked desperately for something else to pass to me. her friend, who had a daughter a year or two older than me, was into these cat books, and my mom was like “here honey you like cats” without thinking too much about it.

which is good, because as i’ll get into, it was a really good fit for me. but like a dozen books later she asked me about the plot and well. i think at that moment she realized that it might have been better to just let me read harry potter.

but yeah i continued to read them long past the recommended reading ages and still as a Young Adult will return to them for nostalgia, and also as i will get into, some really good books. (see a list of books for “morbidly curious but i don’t want to spend 56 to 168 hours reading this”)

i’m not fully caught up on the series but this is not a plot summary so that should not impact my ability to discuss this

section two: content warnings

these books (not this post) includes the following:

discussion of castration (1.1 series 1, book 1, i’m not including this on every item/discussion because this is a complicated series but i want to demo how up front some of this is)

teenage romance/sex/pregnancy (1.1ish-1.3 or 4, continues throughout the series quite a lot, comes up again in 3.4/5, 4.4-5, and a bit in 5)

death from childbirth (1.can’t remember which book, many others)

unwanted pregnancy (se super edition, or a longer one off novel, discussed in 4&5)

sex/implied, discussed, and very very very heavily hinted but never directly said/shown (1.1-3ish, se, other)

murder (constantly, 1.1, 1.4, literally every book, 3.5, i’m just listing the ones i remember off the top of my head that were particularly graphic)

disability/illness, esp. the debilitating and/or deadly nature of it (1.3-5ish, 3.1, but all of 3, 3.4ish)

dementia (1.3-5, i’ve heard in some of the later series?)

abuse (7/8 this is reported i haven’t read these books but based on what i know it’s def there)

child abandonment (1.4-5, 3.4/5, it’s also all over the place but i think those are the only major character incidents of it)

treason (1.3-5, all over the place)

the horror/tragedy of war (background, but pretty constant)

disagreeing with an integral religion/tradition (3, based on the series title, 8, and generally scattered)

the corrupting influence of power (1.4/5, possibly 7/8, others)

racism (1, 3-5, possibly others)

sexism (se, background)

patriarchal societies (se, seems to be somewhat softened based on what i’ve heard but i’m not entirely sure about this)

and more! but it starts to get stranger and this is enough to prove my point

basically everything that could go wrong does

oh yeah! child abuse also child abuse that’s a very major theme in the first series as well as during other points. and elder abuse in the first series.

okay i’ve made my point.

section three: the appeal

look. so. i think we’re kind of pastel-ify children’s literature based on movies. see, parents have to watch children’s movies with their kids, so they can’t be gritty and intense because a lot of parents will say “not for my nine year old! they can’t deal with treason!” and that seems to be bleeding into children’s literature.

but warriors is not that. it’s intense, it borders on “too gruesome for children,” and it’s from a time where kids books got to be serious and heavy and dark because they were about animals. which was great because i couldn’t find books at my reading level that weren’t too thematically difficult, so i got to read something below my reading level, but thematically too hard, so it kind of balanced out.

and then well. so. the series grows with the audience, but the books don’t grow in terms of like difficulty so new readers start deep into it and it’s a complicated thing, the fandom history is complex, but.

the appeal is that parents don’t usually read the books their kids read and so they see a book about cats and assume it’s fluff, and kids who are starved of complex content get to read hamlet-for-kids.

section four: worldbuilding/lore

oh yeah also there’s some really deep lore to explore. so there’s two bits of appeal.

i’m not doing a full world/plot summary, but i’ll explain some common elements here.

thunder/shadow/wind/riverclan: harry potter houses for cats (gryffindor, slytherin, hufflepuff, ravenclaw, except this doesn’t work for the last two but that’s fine because no one cares about them despite riverclan being pretty important in most of the books)

-kit/-paw/-star: naming conventions. everyone has a two part name. (we’ll use cinder as an example because i like the two cinders we know, even tho neither of them get to be cinderstar.) babies are -kit (cinderkit), then when they’re apprentices, which is like being a student, you know, elementary through high school, you’re paw, so cinderpaw. then you get an Official Name from ur clan leader (cinderheart). if you become clan leader, you get to be -star (cinderstar). i know i haven’t explained clan leaders bear with me. this is kind of important because i have the names burned into my memory so i cannot simply always call firestar firestar if he was firepaw at the time of the events i’m describing. it won’t be ambiguous, cinderheart/cinderpelt are a special case. if this is tricky for you it’s fine just only read the first part of the name.

clan (leader, deputy, medicine cat, elder): roles with in the clan. leaders literally have nine lives. deputies are next in line and chosen by the leader. leaders usually go through several deputies, because deputies don’t have nine lives. medicine cats are doctors. they also have an apprentice. those are all one per clan. elders are just retired cats. they’re not a special category per say, but i wanted to mention them.

warrior: adult.

warrior code: laws.

star clan: dead cats. this ties into the religion which is pretty important to the books but for the most part if you understand that dead cats get to give guidance and send their approval, you have the gist of it.

section five: so um, what the fuck

so we start with a cat named rusty who runs into the woods to join thunderclan and then his name is firepaw and we all forget that he’s named rusty except for like that one time it comes up again. bluestar is a great leader with some corrupt deputies but fireheart eventually takes care of it and becomes clan leader which is a big deal.

then a bunch of other shit happens and suddenly ashfur is possessing brackenstar and being (more) abusive to squirrelflight (who is on the outs with brackenstar anyway for lying about their kits jayfeather, hollyleaf, and lionheart because they’re actually the children of firestar’s other daughter leafpool who had them with crowfeather after she fell in love with him but he’s from windclan and she’s a medicine cat so that’s double illegal and apparently hollyleaf is alive even though she yeeted herself into a pit and died because she killed ashfur when he threatened to reveal this but couldn’t live with being the product of an illegal meeting and then it was all pointless because leafpool stopped being a medicine cat out of guilt anyway and jayfeather is just an ornery bitch about everything but especially all of this)

i’m not explaining any of that.

section six: i repeat: so um, what the fuck

so the thing about these books is they’re soap operas and dramas about cats and that means they get just as strange and chaotic as anything else in the genre. i think a lot of people like me, who read them as children, regard the series we knew as a child (usually either the first three or the first five, plus super editions) as something good and warm and comforting (despite being dark and gruesome) because they made us feel good.

they were also a breeding ground for young fandom because of all the the drama that exists and the nature of the books providing that.

section seven: super editions

the simple answer to what a super edition is has already been given (it’s a novel length one-off about a single character, and its usually either a side character - bluestar, crowfeather - or a event/perspective we don’t get to see - firestar, skyclan, greystripe - and they’re generally more mature)

my favorite super edition is bluestar’s prophecy. i read it at like 16, slinking into the children’s library with a stack of other ya fiction and a “children’s book” which dealt with unwanted pregnancy, grief, forbidden love, and more. still not sure why that’s in the children’s section.

section eight: about the drama

so there’s been a lot of fandom drama about these books. i can’t tell you about the nuances, because i am an old fan, so i watched but didn’t partake. the highlights reel that i can recall goes as follows (please note i will refer to characters by name without explanation. it’s fine. the point of this section is to convey the pettiness of this drama):

tigerstar: did he do anything wrong? (the answer is holy shit yes, this isn’t discourse, it’s okay to like a villain)

scourge: did he do anything wrong, also what color is his collar? (also yes, doesn’t matter)

was the new prophecy (2)/omen of the stars (3)/etc good? (yes, eh, no, yes, no comment, no comment)

should jaypaw or hollypaw be medicine cat apprentice (neither of them, but jaypaw’s employment opportunities are limited because he’s blind, so its gotta b him)

uhh a massive tangle around this parentage drama between squirrelflight, leafpool, brackenfur, and crowfeather, which i used as the crux of humor for how batshit the plots can get, so i’m not even going to pretend i can make it funny, but just know that it’s batshit and the correct opinion is as follows: no one is right, but squirrelflight has done the least wrong, brackenfur is an asshole to her where it’s unwarrented, and hollyleaf is an idiot

and the current drama centers around brackenstar and ashfur and is tied directly to the point above, which is why i’ve kind of given up trying to make jokes about this because this is the culmination of like 35 novels.

section nine: i feel like i need to have some conclusive point to justify writing all of this

but i don’t have one, because this was really an excuse to ramble about an old passion for like half an hour. i mean i guess i can say, like, i think younger fans are sort of embroiled in this drama they don’t really have context for, because i’m not kidding, the current drama centers around the grandchildren of our original cast.

it’s kind of hard to know why, say, mistystar matters if you don’t know that she’s the child of bluefur and oakheart and if you don’t remember the drama that surrounded that when bluestar was dying and tigerstar and leopardstar were ruling a combined shadow/riverclan.

(i really hope that’s intelligible i tried to lay the groundwork for it. basically, there’s a biracial kid in a very segregated society who becomes the leader of one of the clans. which is obviously drama, especially considering that that clan was part of a weird supremacy movement a while back.)

& you know? i really hope one of the new series gets to be like, a soft reboot. just. end the current drama and pick up again with the latest generation. a) we’re starting to run out of names, and b) i think that it’s kind of tipped over the edge of sane.

the series also used to be very low fantasy. the cat societies are reasonably close to feral cat colonies (the biggest detail is that toms don’t all have their own territory, but there’s honestly in-universe discussion of this and it’s basically a culture thing), and while star clan/religion is a real and legitimate thing, there’s also a discussion of its abuse and most of the early books don’t really use star clan/related ideas as a physical force so much as a plot device, barring, like, when a new leader gets their nine lives.

honestly, i’ll always adore these books for serving the role they did, and a lot of the series is fantastically well written. but the fandom surrounding it can be, uh, not great because 9-14 year olds don’t really have good brains to understand this.

also, i’m very sad that i can’t find the flash game that was for the great prophecy. it was not very fun, but i enjoyed playing it, so if anyone knows the url so i can search the internet archive for it, please let me know.

section ten: i’m morbidly curious but there are 56 hours of books to read, assuming a very fast reading pace, so is there something i can start with to experience this without dedicating 4 days to it?

yes, there is.

it’s called bluestar’s prophecy. it’s standalone, and i should have given you enough of a background on the lore that you don’t need to know anything else. i’ve already given away the twist in series 1 that it would spoil, so you’re all good on that front.

if you want more, or want the original experience, the first series is self contained and quite good. i’ve given the broad outlines of the plot, but trust me, there’s a lot of surprises and all sorts of things i skipped over because while i like it, it’s not exactly fandom primer material

i also enjoy firestar’s quest and skyclan’s destiny for super editions, but you’ll need to read the first series to understand FQ and FQ to understand SD, so it’s not exactly a starting point. also, SD especially deals with a very different set of themes as the other books.

also, if you were to, say, search “readwarriorcats” (no spaces) on duckduckgo, and then click on one of the first links, you know, not the official site, the one hosted on one of those free website things, you know, not wix, not wordpress, the other one, you would only find lists of the books with hyperlinks.

#warrior cats #fandom #txt #mine #1st #February #2021 #February 1st 2021 #essay #personal #long #q

5 notes · View notes

k-fiction-therapy · 5 years

Text

Into The Night (Version 7 - Changkyun)

Moodboard by Admin Scar

Starring: Im Changkyun & Reader

Includes: Vampire!AU, Library Sex & Dirty Talk

Rating: 18+

~*.*..*“Are you really a vampire like they all say?”*..*.*~

A/N: Hello, all! This is the seventh installment of “Into the Night”, a series that highlights seven very different Vampire!AU stories, each involving a different member of Monsta X as the main male lead. <3 I hope you enjoy them. I have been obsessed with Vampires since I was a child, and my attraction to them only grows the older I get~ I do hope that my take on these different vampire tropes tickles your fancy as it has mine.

Version 1 - Shownu

Version 2 - Wonho

Version 3 - Minhyuk

Version 4 - Kihyun

Version 5 - Hyungwon

Version 6 - Jooheon

Version 7 - Changkyun

Asks Open for Feedback, Comments, Kudos and Thoughts. <3

The air outside was perfectly cool, and you felt the seasons changing as if it was happening in your bones. Your feet met the sidewalk outside of your school, and you stared up at it, its visage a blanket of opportunity to most, and a prison to some. Although you were still a new student, you generally thought of yourself in the neutral mindset between those absolute poles, but today you’d rather be at home in your bed, curled up and comfortable–though, your bed didn’t have quite this many handsome faces, and bright smiles. Serenaded by the male section of the student body even now, you swayed a bit, the bell shocking you out of your daydreaming, making you go a bit rigid, uniform ruffling slightly. Glancing up the front of the school, your eyes settled on flags and the like, sighing at how displays of school spirit made you feel even less proud.

Newton High flew its banners with confidence, the bright yellow lettering of the school motto “Shine Forever” vibrant as ever as it stretched the length of the banner; which billowed outside the tall doors. The closer you got to the doors, the sweeter the air smelled, and you felt as if the cherry blossoms had been in bloom since you transferred there, framing the fairytale world you had always imagined the school to be. You had been there a few months by this point, but it was still a bit of a culture shock—and you were sure you’d never seen this many handsome boys in your life. God, you had heart palpitations every day over it—and as you dropped into your assigned seat in History class, you wondered how you’d ever force yourself to pay more attention to the lectures; even the teachers here were sexy.

Your professor entered moments after you found yourself seated, and you watched him walk across the room, your eyes focused on how good he looked in those slacks. He smiled and faced the board a moment, writing the date and lecture title on the board before turning to face the class, “Good morning, students.” He smiled wide, opening the history textbook on his desk, fingers pushing up the nose of his glasses to situate them perfectly, “I know you are all eager to get to today’s lesson, but let’s begin class today by going over the homework from last night—oh, don’t groan, it’s only five questions, please.” He seemed annoyed, and though you found yourself unable to focus on anything but him at the moment, you hoped he wasn’t made enough to assign even more work, “Start with number one under multiple choice, at the end of chapter 12—Y/N—” He gestured to you, and you could have fallen out of your seat, clamoring to sit up straight. He nodded, eyes focused on you, “Can you answer it for me, please?”

“Wha—um…well, it’s…Um…” You were panicking, staring down at a page of notes and nothing else. You had completely forgotten that you had had homework in the first place. Sinking a bit, you lifted your shoulders, wishing you could curl up in a ball, or at least hide in plain sight. Cringe. You wrinkled your brows, you hadn’t expected to be called, “I—didn’t do it. I’m sorry, Yoo Senpai.”

Yoo Senpai turned to look at a girl in your class, a bit of a bratty troublemaker that sat closer to the front, but off to the side. He raised a brow at her, the corners of his lips twitching in what could almost be called a smile,“That makes both of you.” He said evenly, “Maybe I should keep you both after class.” He drug teeth across his bottom lip, before realizing what he was insinuating. Stammering, he swallowed, pushing his glasses back into place again, a nervous habit, “Ahem, anyone want to help Y/N out?”

A voice, from your right, deeper than the other boys in class, was the first to answer, “It’s C. The Berlin wall came down in 1989.” They said, the sound causing you to turn your head and focus on its source. Im Changkyun, the resident bookworm and all-around odd ball, had answered the question for you. Rumors had always flooded the air around the male, but you had never actually spoken to him yourself—and now that you found your position directly next to him, you observed him, and found him to be quite handsome.

So, this was the boy everyone talked about all the time? That jaw, those plump lips, pretty eyes, and slender frame—this was the weirdo? You could hardly believe it—but, you would be lying if you said it didn’t make you curious about him. You crossed your arms slowly, and regarded him for a moment, just looking over him, your eyes watching his elegant fingers open the book he had been reading, his focus leaving the lecture to focus on the words before him—he probably wouldn’t be called on again, anyways. You inhaled slowly, something about him speaking to you, making you feel the need to talk to him, to get closer.

Yoo Senpai carried on as if you hadn’t just blatantly checked out, and Changkyun wasn’t reading something unrelated to class entirely. Eyes set on another part of the class, he waved a hand, “Very good, now. Let’s move on. Question 2—"

Not wanting to call too much attention to yourself, you would pull a piece of scratch paper from your notebook and scrawl a quick “Thanks” on it, clumsily passing it to him with one finger, sliding it onto his desk. Yoo Senpai didn’t, and wouldn’t notice, seemingly done with the two of you for the day.

Changkyun unfolded the piece of paper and smiled lightly as he stared at the word. Shifting his head to the side, his gorgeous hair undisturbed, though he tweaked a pierced eyebrow, dark makeup around his eyes making them look all the more piercing. Writing back in fairly good script, Changkyun sent back, “Don’t mention it”, tossing it onto your desk, the paper sliding close to your resting hand.

It didn’t take you long to answer, figuring you might as well take the plunge. No time like the present, right? You wrote quickly, ‘Can I ask you a question? Are you really a vampire like they all say?’. You felt as if you had no tact, but you couldn’t just not ask him, and you couldn’t figure out a gentile way of posing such a question to someone. Better blunt than silent, you thought.

Raising a brow, Changkyun scribbled, ‘Why?’

‘You’re always reading those books, and your teeth really look like fangs.’ You offered it back, your fingers brushing his, but you shrugged off the feeling.

‘Do you really want to know?’ He returned, tipping his head toward you, book sat down for the moment, his eyes focusing on you through slight periphery. He ran fingers down the slender column of his neck as he waited, curious what you might say.

‘Yes. Please.’ Was all you could manage to get back to him, both eager and a bit freaked out.

When he offered the note back, you held it up, staring at the words for a long time. ‘Meet me in the library after school. Three-twenty, after she locks the front doors. The entrance by the back is left open for safety.’ What should you do? You swallowed the lump in your throat and looked back at him, slowly nodding your head, hesitation only making you look more innocent.

**************

Sneaking into the library was easy using the door that Changkyun had suggested. You pretty much just walked right in as you would have if it were open during the day. The place was nearly dark, and in its dimness, you navigated your way around tables, looking around for the outcast, sure he was there somewhere. Standing in the center of the room, you wrinkled your brows, whispering rather loudly, “Changkyun…?”

“Under here—” was all you heard from a nearby table, so you bent down, looking until you met the inhuman eyes of the other. Slipping down under the desk, you crawled to him, sitting with crisscrossed legs across from him.

Settling, you laughed gently into the back of your hand, thinking it was very immature that you had just snuck into the library, of all places, in order to hide under a table with a guy—though, a small part of you felt a tiny thrill, “Why are you under the desk?”

“Hey, we may be seniors, but we will still get in deep shit if we are caught breaking into the library after hours—” He said with a light shrug, looking more than at home right where he sat. You could tell this wasn’t the first time he’d snuck in here, “—so, I’m just trying to stay hidden so we can talk and no one will see us through the windows over there.” He pointed to a line of transparent glass windows, and you made an understanding sound, nodding.

“Good call…” You said slowly, rolling your gaze back to him, focusing even in the dark, “So, back to my question. Are you a vampire? Or are you just faking everyone out?”

He laughed as if he was about to call you cute for being so adamant, his body language rather controlled, yet relaxed, “Well, you do see my fangs, don’t you?” He asked, opening his lips slowly and licking over the vampiric shape of his canines.

You blushed at the way he licked his teeth, but the dark hid it for the most part, “Yeah, but—”

“You don’t believe they are real. I’m telling you, I am what I am.” He shrugged before leaning forward slightly, with confident intent, his hand lifting to point towards his teeth, “Here. Touch them.”

“I—” Something compelled you to act, like an invisible force, and you couldn’t help yourself. Normally, you wouldn’t go anywhere near someone else’s teeth, but now you found yourself reaching forward, touching a fang slowly. Moving down and over the tip, you felt it prick your finger, almost sharp enough to cut without pain, “Ouch—Nn—”

Blood pooled in a small sphere at the prick where the fang had met the tip of your finger, and you stared at him, his reaction sealing your suspicions. Pupils swallowing the color of his eyes, he growled low, the scent of your blood striking him, making his lust flare. Taking your hand by the wrist, he pushed your finger into his lips, sucking the blood from it, making you whimper hard. That handsome face twisted a bit in pleasure, and he moaned around your digit before pulling back, showing you the length of his tongue, a gentle smear of red against the center of it.

You took your hand back and stared at the finger that he had been sucking on, blinking as you found it no longer bleeding, a tiny prick point still visible. Before you could say a word, or fully react to what he had just done, he was in your space, his nose brushing yours. Palms bracing on either side of you, he came over you until you fell to your back, legs spreading to allow him closer, mesmerized by the primal look in his eyes, that nearly glowed in the dim light of the unattended library. Settling his hips against your core, you swallowed hard, finding yourself intensely aroused at just the way he pressed himself to you. If you were honest, you’d never thought of him this way. He was just the odd outcast in class that spent more time reading books than he did socializing with the rest of the student body—and now he was on top of you, and you thirsted for him as much as his eyes reflected the same need.

It wasn’t that you were against this happening in that moment, completely enchanted and transfixed by the vampire that had all but pinned you to the ground. Blushing, you breathed deeply, words betraying your throbbing core, “Changkyun, we shouldn’t—” You gestured between them and to the table you were beneath, “Like this…”

Changkyun smirked deviantly and wiggled his brows, “You’re right…I know a better way.” He said, moving back just enough to gain leverage, hands coming upon you to turn you gently, forcing you dominantly onto your stomach, your face against the dense carpet of the library floor. You whimpered, and he ran hands down the curve of your spine, growling softly as his digits met the waistline of your bottoms, slipping beneath them slightly so that he could easily pull them down, revealing the supple shape of your backside and the tops of your thighs—lowering them just enough to give himself a bit of space.

Nails at carpet, you breathed heavily, the feeling of being exposed arousing you even further, your muscles fluttering with need. You snuffled out a soft moan, and you could almost sense him smirk, driven forward by your obvious arousal. You would hear his belt, and zipper, and then feel the press of his body against yours, the length of his cock slipping perfectly between supple flesh, the hooked shape of his cock perfect for the angle he’d chosen. Groaning, he pushed the thick head into your needy muscles, and you gasped loudly, arching your back to aid, your pants causing a bit of restraint, though you didn’t mind.

Hands braced on either side of your head, fingers overlapping yours almost affectionately, he would gently slide himself in deeper, inch after inch taken until he was fully hilted inside of you, “Ah, fuck…you’re already so tight…” He whispered, voice infinitely deeper than before, the tone shaking you to your core. He paused for only a moment before he began to thrust, his pace set as steady as the ticking clock, fucking you gorgeously into the floor, the carpet harsh on your skin, but your focus was on how that cock struck you deep, making you writhe.

Changkyun’s hips picked up their pace and he arched over you, his fingers shifting so that his hands were over yours, entwining your digits, his muscles working to pull him from your depths before forcing back inside of you deeply, filling you beautifully with each movement that he made. He breathed ragged, skin heating as he worked himself in and out of you, aiming to hit every sensitive nerve, making you crazed with pleasure. Your lips peeled open against the floor and you moaned sweetly, shaking, “Ch-Changkyun—y-yes!”

After a while, Changkyun was shaking a bit himself, the strength of his arms wavering just a bit, “Shh, baby. Keep quiet…Mm…fucking take this cock…” He groaned, his head tipping down, allowing you to feel the bangs of his hair against your shoulder-blades, “…ah, you like my dick so deep inside of you, don’t you? Mmm…You’re going to cum for me quickly, aren’t you?” His voice was the sexiest thing that had ever met your ears, and you found yourself shaking as he spoke, muscles undulating around his cock, showing how close you were.

“O-oh, you’re going to make me—oh, fuck…c-cum!” You grit your teeth as you took thrust after thrust, the pace of those hips intoxicating, driving you to the edge and then over, your fingernails digging into the carpet for purchase that would not be found, your entire body quaking as your eyes shut tight. You couldn’t stop yourself from moaning loudly into the floor, and your orgasmic sounds filled the empty library. You swore you were seeing stars in the dark, the hard pulsing of your muscles as they milked him causing your hips to jerk and muscles to jump a bit.

He could hardly take how your body worked him, your spasming core taking him for all he had. Eyebrow wrinkling and hair falling out of place, Changkyun rolled his hips in circles, the friction and change of movement causing his demise quickly. Throwing his head back, he howled in bliss, nails mirroring your own as they flexed, his body trembling, cock pumping hot cum into you, filling you to the brim. Changkyun exhaled harshly, trying to calm himself, but it would take several moments.

Leaning down, body still jerking a bit with aftershock, his cock still perfectly buried inside of you, he would press his lips to your spine, allowing you to feel his fangs graze your skin a moment. You shivered, your heart beginning to calm, though you still shuddered from leftover spikes of pleasure. As your eyes fluttered open, you smiled, keeping your fingers entwined with his, flexing them so that you made it more of a hand-hold than a primal urge.

“I just had sex with a vampire…” You blurted, hating yourself the moment it came out of your mouth. He chuckled and kept his lips against your skin, just kissing around the areas of flesh that he could reach, giving his girth enough time to settle before gently pulling out of you. You made a disappointed noise once he was gone from you; though you would swear it was involuntary.

“Come on, I’ll help you get cleaned up. We should get out of here.” He said softly before moving to his knees, practically sitting on the backs of your thighs, admiring the cum that dripped down your core. He licked his lips in appreciation before backing up, offering you a hand before winking, “…I won’t bite you this time.”

**************

Cleaned and returned to the hallway, Changkyun would see you out the door. It was oddly sweet that he wanted to stay close to you for the time being, but you could take it from here. Smiling, you waved to him, and he nodded, “I’ll see you around. I have to return a book, then I’ll be on the road as well.” You could have called him a nerd for being so concerned about book returns after he’d just fucked you into oblivion, but you figured you’d let him have this one considering how mind blowing the orgasm he’d just given you was. So, you settled for a quick goodbye before prancing off down the hall and toward the doors, sneaking back out and down the road toward your house.

Back in the library, Changkyun returned to his backpack and pulled out the book he had been reading prior in the classroom. Moving through the stacks, he found the proper section, glancing at all the books before hooking his copy beneath his arm for the time being. Dropping a hand, he pulled a small medicine bottle from his pocket and opened it, his free hand working off the fangs he’d been wearing with a dense pop, revealing fairly normal canines beneath. Smiling, he dropped both faux fangs into the bottle before pocketing it again. Thank God for dental glue.

Looking back to the books, his eyes glowed, his own supernatural element dancing behind them. Pulling the seventh volume from under his arm, he would put it gently back into its place on the shelf, a smile covering his face as he looked at the line of books. How he loved them—but, if the alpha found out he was reading about vamps, he’d be the laughing stock of the pack. Ears wiggling, he reached a hand up, almost as if he were saying goodbye to the series, fingers trailing over gold gilded words—

“Into the Night.”

Admin Death

#i.m #changkyun #im changkyun #monsta x #into the night #series #into the night version 7 - changkyun #mx #kpop #fic #fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic #one shot #part 7 #mine #original #admin death

43 notes · View notes

gotatext · 4 years

Text

TASK OO1 / OOC SURVEY.

[kermit voice] hallo.... its me

YOUR ALIAS & NICKNAMES — nora

AGE — 23

TIMEZONE — gmt

PREFERRED PRONOUNS — she/her

MBTI — enfp-infp border cos im an introvert who Masquerades as an extrovert :)

HP HOUSE — i spent 10 yrs of my life thinkin i was gryffindor.... to find out.... huffle....puff......

ARE YOU A STUDENT? WHAT DO YOU STUDY? — i fuckin wish! being a student was dope af i got stressed about essays like once a month and apart from that i was just chillin, surrounded by really intelligent people every day n livin it up on the party scene. adult life fucking sucks no one wants to have fun cos we all work fuckin tonnes of hours so we can afford to eat and get paid peanuts xx

ARE YOU ENJOYING IT? — im really afraid of bein one of those jock types who peaked in high school but i deff peaked in uni like 100% i was way more interesting 2 years ago

LINKS TO OTHER ACCOUNTS & SOCIAL MEDIA — im not showin u my instagram bc im a fuckin embarassment but this is pinterest , this is my personal blog, this is my writing / 1x1 blog i never use any more n this is my trash talking twitter where i mostly just cry about timothee chalamet and bash the tories.

DISCORD USER — kristine’s forehead vein#8664

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FICTION GENRE? — i dont read fanfiction much but when i do u can be sure it’s slow burn angsty enemies to lovers mutual pining heart attack every time one of them accidentally brushes the other’s hand

TOP FIVE FAVOURITE FILMS — suspiria (2018 luca guadagnino version rogue i kno but i prefer the remake), the lobster, before sunrise, baz luhrmann romeo + juliet, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, thoroughbreds (REC!! so underwatched pls watch it. compelling female characters), hunt for the wilderpeople (also so underwatched), swiss army man, call me by your name, atonement, moonrise kingdom, trainspotting, the florida project. i rlly like films ok

A BOOK YOU FEEL “CHANGED” YOU? — the song of achilles by madeline miller n also fen by daisy johnson

A MOVIE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? — booksmart cos its fuckin dope

WHAT IS YOUR SIGN? — libra

ARE YOU INTO ASTROLOGY? — i like to pretend im super invested in it mostly to anger my friends but tbh.... i just use it as a rough guide for character creation.... its fun but i dnt .... fully invest in what it has to say..... altho i am the most unbalanced n indecisive bitch on earth so i guess they got that right !! i just live to please baybeyy!

WHAT PLATFORMS HAVE YOU ROLEPLAYED ON? — tumblr for about 8 year (omg) n before tht facebook..... i was very embarassingly in a twilight rp..... i wrote jane..... i also rped as a scene kid oc n when i was like 12 i was on some weird forum harry potter roleplay where i basically played a self insert with georgie henley as the fc......

WHAT OTHER HOBBIES DO YOU HAVE? — i used to have so many hobbies but now i jst lie in my bed staring at the ceiling. but before i was workin like a dog i loved reading, writing, acting in theatre productions..... going out on the town getting bevved..... big druggy EDM nights in warehouses tht probably weren’t liscenced for tht many ppl..... gigs... costume-design and making, spoken word poetry, acrylic painting n rollerskating but my sister broke my skates abt two years ago in vengeance and i’ll never forgive her that fuckin bitch

HAVE ANY PETS? IF SO, TALK ABOUT THEM! — no my landlord is a fascist

IS THERE A TV SHOW YOU RECOMMEND A LOT? — i’ll never stop reccing euphoria!! also i was pleasantly surprised by looking for alaska!! but i also rlly like bob’s burgers, parks and rec, good omens.... black mirror, n sharp objects. lovesick on bbciplayer (n netflix i think) is also rlly fun

ANY SHOWS YOU LIKE SOME MIGHT BE SURPRISED TO HEAR THAT YOU DO? — maybe love island, idk if i talk abt that much bc i am ashamed but i am so obsessed with it. i even got the love island game n got so invested in my fictional relationship w bobby tht i had to delete it

WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? WOULD YOU RECOMMEND IT? — god god... i haven’t finished a book in ages.... i recently started reading milkman by anna burns, the bees by laline paull and everything under by daisy johnson.... bt the last book i read cover to cover was probs circe. defs read it. feminist and witchy

CURRENTLY READING? — i jst said this but the bees, everything under and less so milkman cos im finding milkman a bit tough

LAST FILM? REC IT? — i watched ladyworld the lord of the flies all-female remake n even maya hawke could not save it.... dnt get me wrong from an art film point of view i loved it but it felt a bit underdeveloped n a level media studies for me..... apart from tht?? the runaways (yorkshire film not released yet at a preview screening) and threads (also a yorkshire film from the 80s about nuclear apocalypse)

THREE MOVIES YOU NEED TO WATCH — portrait of a lady on fire, i work at an independent cinema n we recently had a preview screening and everyone said it was SICK, uhhhh short term 12, n the new eliza scanlen movie babyteeth

WHAT MOVIE DO YOU THINK YOU’VE SEEN THE MOST TIMES? — madagascar because when i was 12 my parents bought me a little television with a dvd player in it for my birthday and madagascar was the only dvd i owned for like..... the first two years of havin the absolute luxury of a tv in my room so i just used to watch it all the time n i now basically know the script inside out

WHAT ALWAYS PUTS YOU IN A GOOD MOOD? — nothing, life is pointless n i hate fun, let me rot in peace

WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE MUSICIAN / BAND? LIST IF THERE ARE MORE THAN ONE. — ughhh god probably lcd soundsystem. gorillaz, the streets, tame impala, talking heads, soft hair, i also love lizz tho n also angry twangy guitar girl bands like girlpool, courtney barnett, best coast, cherry glazerr,

WILD NIGHT OUT OR QUIET NIGHT IN? — quiet night in my party days are over i cant even be bothered to go to the shops if its past 4.30pm and dark these days

ANY PHOBIAS? — clowns n rats

DO YOU LIKE BUGS? — absolutely not

BIRDS? — yes but not if they fly in my face

ARE YOU A CAT OR DOG PERSON? BOTH? — i love both i want one

BIGGEST PET PEEVE? — tory middle aged boomers who treat me like actual shit on their shoe because i work in the service industry like thats my choice and their poor economic decisions didnt mean i have to do a shitty job to afford to live bcos of austerity n cuts to arts funding meaning i cant get a job writing unless i self-fund :)))

FAVOURITE THING ABOUT THE RPC? — that everyone ive met through rp is a fuckin LAFF

TOP TEN FAVE FCS TO USE? — god .... diana silvers, timothee chalamet, margaret qualley, kristine froseth, froy gutierrez, zendaya, elle fanning, astrid berges frisbey, hunter schafer, leonardo dicaprio

FIVE YOU LIKE WRITING AGAINST? — herman tomeraas, hunter schafer, saoirse ronan, timothee chalamet, froy gutierrez

FAVOURITE TYPE OF FOOD? — linda mccartney 1/2pounder mozzarella veggie burgers, sweet potato wedges, tomato soup, mozzarella sticks, brownies

WORST FOOD? — green things like broccoli n sprouts gross. baked beans cos as a kid ppl used to do baked bean baths for comic relief / red nosed day a lot n i thought when they were finished in the baked bean bath they just put all the cold beans back in the tin. actually anything small that moves around on your plate. peas. spaghetti. sweetcorn. i dont like small things i cant control.

DO YOU PLAY VIDEOGAMES? IF SO, WHAT ONES AND ON WHAT PLATFORM DO YOU PREFER? — last year my housemate had an xbox n i went through a phase of obsessively playin fable 3 it was amazing. i had like 5 husbands and 3 wives and loads of kids but they all ended up leavin me cos i spent so much time out doing quests neglecting them

ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE WITH THE TAG? — this

LASTLY, HOW DID YOU FIND US? — im one of those bitches who was in this grp all the way back when it was swipe... so quirky and original!! i knew the band before u! anyway im goin now this has been sufficiently embarassing..... i am lame

#huntingtonooc #huntingtontask #huntingtontask001

3 notes · View notes

dabble-writes · 5 years

Text

Death’s Bride--(6)

| Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |

Pairing:

Namjoon/Reader

Summary:

You are a Seer. What is a Seer? A Seer is someone whose sixth sense is stronger than most people’s and can see Death. You did not want to be one, you just want to be normal—yet what happens when Death comes for you? No, not for you to die—for you to be his bride.

*Based on a novel I wrote before in Wattpad by the same title*

Tags:

Romance, Fantasy, Angst

Warnings:

Violence

CHAPTER 6: REVELATIONS

“Did he believe you?”, Jisoo asked you when you exited Namjoon’s office.

“I don’t know,” You said honestly, “He seemed to, but he looked unconcerned about the death threat. Maybe that’s just a thing with being ‘death’…”

“So what are we going to do?”

“I don’t know.” You said in frustration, your mind still reeling from all that happened in that office.

“So we’re just going to leave it? So that Death would die?” Jisoo asked.

“I don’t know!”, you cried, very agitated.

Although he doesn’t love me, I would still do anything to protect him.

“I love him.” You said in realization.

Jisoo turned to you, “What?”

“I love Namjoon, I have to save him.”

“How will you do that?” Jisoo asked curiously.

You entered your room and your eyes landed on your swords.

If Jin is alive, he will continue to pursue Namjoon, a voice in your head said; it was right.

You knew then that if you wanted to save Namjoon’s existence, it would have to be you that does something. You picked up the swords. As you stared at the swords in your hands, you turned to Jisoo, a little doubtful.

“Do you think I’m doing the right thing?”. You frowned.

“You saw the noted,” Jisoo answered, “He must be stopped.”

You nodded, Jisoo is right, “Take me to his office.”

You followed Jisoo, taking long, deliberate steps. It felt strange, as if you were in a dream and not quite in control of your actions; like you were following some script. You knocked on Jin’s door.

“Come on, Jin, I know you’re in there!” You called out.

The door opened and Jin stepped out.

“Y/N? What a pleasant surprise, what are you doing here? And why are you carrying swords?”

“I am here to challenge you to a duel.”

He looked puzzled, “How—?”

You tossed one of the swords to him and, while he caught it, Jin gave you a look of surprise.

“Draw.”

“Wha—?”

You lunged your sword at Jin and he moved his sword to block it, which made the swords clash.

“Y/N, are you mad? Please tell me what’s wrong.” Jin said as he blocked another attack.

“You! You are the problem!” You answered with narrowed eyes as you clashed swords again.

“Let’s just talk like civilized people, we don’t have to fight.” Jin said as he ducked to avoid my strike.

“Oh, kidnapping people is very civilized,” you answered sarcastically as your sword nipped his arm, which caused him to bleed a little.

“God dammit woman!” He cursed and rose his sword to block yet another blow, “Where did you learn to fight?”

“A very good friend of mine.” You replied, “I think you know her. I believe her name is…LE.”

“LE? You saw her?”, Jin looked very surprised.

“Yes.” You said, faking a move and going the other way. Jin jumped out of the way in time, only to be scratched yet again on his other arm.

He grunted, “Yup, that’s definitely LE’s doing.”

You continued to fight and Jin managed to give you a few scratches as well, but nothing major.

Jin tried to talk to you again.

“Okay, I know that kidnapping you doesn’t look good on my part—”

“Oh please, there’s no accident in kidnapping me. You explained it quite clearly.” You said, cornering him unto the wall.

“You don’t understand—”

“There’s no need to understand. I understand your desire to have power, but I cannot let you take away Namjoon’s life.”

You twirled your sword around his and Jin’s sword clanked onto the floor. Jin raised his hands to protect himself, like it would do any good against your sword.

“Y/N!”

It was another voice, but you were to concentrated on Jin in front of you to pay it any mind.

LE’s #1 Rule: Don’t take your eyes from the prize.

“Y/N, please—!”

Before you could regret your decision, you thrust the sword into Jin’s chest.”

“Y/N, no!”

Startled, you let go of the sword and turned to see Namjoon running towards you. You looked back at the blood oozing from the wound and Jin’s body slumped on the floor, his eyes unfocused. You stepped back and realized what you had done.

It was like you woke up from a trance, oh crap, what happened to me?

Namjoon rushed past you to Jin and knelt next to his body. He grabbed the sword and pulled it out, more blood seeping out; he ripped some of his shirt and applied pressure unto the wound.

“What have you done, Y/N?” He growled and you gulped, barely able to form words.

“H-he was a spy, and he wanted to k-kill you so—”

“Idiot!” Namjoon hissed, “He was never a spy or was going to kill me.”

“How can you—?”

“Because he was working for me.” Namjoon spat out, “He was my spy so we could find the leader.”

“So he was a double…oh god.” You covered your hand over your mouth in horror and tears began to spill, “I didn’t mean—”

“That’s why I told you to let me handle it! Now his cover is blown and we don’t know who the real leader is.”

You sobbed, “I’m sorry, I—”

Namjoon turned away from you and tended to Jin’s wound, “Just go to your room.”

“But—”

“Go to your room, you did enough damage.” His tone was hard and you knew at that moment that he hated you.

You ran to your room, tears running without restraint down your face.

“How could I be so stupid?” You sobbed into your pillow.

“It’s okay, everyone makes mistakes.” Jisoo was seated next to you as she rubbed your back and tried to comfort you.

“They don’t murder people!” You wailed.

“You didn’t murder anyone, Y/N.”

“How’d you know? Jin looked really bad when I left.”

You pictured the blood oozing from his wound again and it took all your willpower to not throw up.

“Y/N, Jin isn’t human and we aren’t on Earth.”

“Right.” You said and found some comfort that you didn’t—well more like couldn’t—murder him, “But it was the thought, the intention. I was ready to kill Jin, and that’s what scares me.”

What’s wrong with me?, you thought, it’s as if some force compelled me to do so. Am I going crazy?

You winced as you remembered the bloody scene again.

“Sometimes we can’t control our animal instincts.” Jisoo said soothingly.

That was beyond animal instincts though, you thought miserably.

“Mind over matter, Jisoo, mind over matter.” You cried and buried your face into your now soggy pillow.

“We can’t always be perfect.”, Jisoo reminded you and you sighed.

Is it too much to ask to not be a murderer?

“Do you want some hot cocoa? It might help you calm down.”

You looked at her and silently accepted the mug. You took a small sip and felt a little better as the sweet, hot liquid went down your throat.

“Still, it makes you wonder who the real crook is.” Jisoo said and you stared at her; you didn’t consider that, in all your turmoil.

“You’re right. The real traitor is out there, running free. Who knows what he’ll be planning next.”

You took another sip but decided you didn’t want anymore; you gave Jisoo back the mug.

“Well don’t worry, we’ll catch him before he does any more damage.” Jisoo tried to reassure you; she placed the mug on the nightstand next to your bed.

“I hope so.” You said and sank down into your pillow again as hot tears rolled down your face.

“Do you want some privacy?”, Jisoo asked softly.

“Yes, you can leave now. I want to be by myself.” You tried to say without breaking your voice; you think you failed.

Jisoo nodded and left the room, closing the door behind her.

Your crying session seemed to have taken a toll on you because you felt yourself become very tired.

You really are an idiot, Y/N, you thought bitterly, you don’t deserve to live. You royally screwed up.

With those thoughts in your mind, you drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

You groaned as you woke up.

Damn, I hate crying myself to sleep.

You forced yourself to sit up and soon realized that you were not in the comfort of your room. Instead, you sat on the cold stone floor in a damp cell. You felt a wave of de ja vu.

Okay, you thought, trying hard not panic, this doesn’t look good at all. Someone must have kidnapped me when I fell asleep.

But how?

Hello, stupid, it’s all your fault. You hurt Jin, causing Namjoon to be distracted, which gave the kidnapper the opportunity to kidnap you.

You wondered how you didn’t wake up while they kidnapped you; you weren’t such a heavy sleeper.

No sooner did this thought came into your mind did a masked figure emerged from the shadows and walked up to your cell.

“So there she is, the perfect little bride.”

You couldn’t recognize his voice because it was so muffled from the mask; the figure did seem to be a bit on the short side though.

“Who are you?”, you asked.

“Is that important?”, you could hear the contempt in his voice.

“Maybe.”

“Well, too bad, I guess you’ll die of anticipation. It’ll just be easier for me.”

Is this guy serious? Is he attempting to make a joke?

“Wow, that was so funny I forgot to laugh.” You said dryly.

“You are so obnoxious.” The figure said as you heard the jingle of keys.

He opened and closed the door behind him.

Shit, he’s right in front of me. This may be the time to panic. No, wait, just calm down Y/N, You don’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing you scared.

“What do you want?” You asked as you tried to appear braver than what you felt.

“Hm…let me think…” the masked figure said and took a step closer to you, “You, Y/N, are perfect bait and a wonderful addition to my little plan.”

“Bait?” You felt sick, “You mean you expect Namjoon to come for me?”

Seriously?, you thought, Bait? How did I got reduced to some cliché damsel in distress? Oh right, when I stabbed Jin and let myself get kidnapped. This day just keeps getting better.

“You are his bride, it is his fate to protect and be with you.”

He saw your hurt look and laughed a cruel laugh.

“That is rich! You actually think you mean something more to him than the prophecy? Wake up, girl, if you haven’t noticed by now Death cannot feel any emotions; he doesn’t care about you.”

You felt your eyes get watery as you heard those bitter truths spat at you. Don’t cry, Y/N, don’t cry dammit. You know this already, don’t let this jerk get to you.

You forced yourself to control your breathing and glared at the figure, “You don’t know anything. Frankly, I don’t see how that’s any of your business; you just want to kill him, so why bother with me if he doesn’t care about me?”

“You have such a haughty tone for someone who’s going to die. Who’s the prisoner here?”

You rolled your eyes, “Why are you asking that question if we both know? Do you want me to say it’s you?”

He grabbed your chin and pulled you up, which caused you to gasp in pain.

“Don’t disrespect me.” He murmured in your ear, which caused chills to go down your spine. His nails dug into your skin painfully and you bit your lip to prevent yourself from gasping in pain again.

“I-I thought I was bait. Aren’t you not supposed to hurt me?”

He laughed, “I never said that,” and harshly let go of your chin. You sank back into the floor, coughing.

This guy may just kill me, he seems that crazy, you thought and felt a new wave of fear.

“You are such a weakling.” The figure said and laughed a cruel laugh that echoed off the walls; you flinched at the sound.

He stopped and turned to you, “You disgust me.”

You glared at him as you struggled to sit up, “Not as much as you disgust me.”

Instead of getting mad, he chuckled, “You are so cute, trying to act all tough.”

“I’m glad your amusement is at my expense.” You snapped and he stopped chuckling.

“Another thing I hate about you, you have an answer to everything. You just can’t shut up, can you?”

“Who are you?” You asked him again, quite annoyed that he talked like he knew you or something. Or maybe he does. But who can he be then if not Jin?

“It doesn’t matter to you who I am, you will die anyway.”

“Die?”

He saw that you started to get up again and kicked you so that you lost your balance and fell down again; you grunted in pain as you clutched your stomach.

“Yes, die. You didn’t think you’ll come out this alive? I’ll kill you and when Death comes looking for you I’ll just kill him.”

“Y-you do know that you’ll never get away with this; Namjoon is much more powerful than you could ever hope to be.”

“Ah, but you forget that I have this in my possession.”

He reached inside his cloak and pulled out an ornate dagger.

“Tell me, Y/N, do you know what kind of dagger this is?”

“A dagger that can cause a lot of pain?, You guessed.

The figure kicked you again and you grunted again in pain, “You think you’re so funny. And smart. Of course this causes a lot of pain—but much more pain than a regular dagger.”

You bit back a sarcastic comment because you realized a person who seemed to despise you and Namjoon very much held a deadly weapon not so far away from you.

“Normal daggers kill your body, so your soul still lives and Death faithfully picks it up. This dagger was especially made to kill not only the body, but the soul.”

Your eyes widened, “Is that the--?”

“Yes, the Holy Dagger. You’ll never get to see Death ever again. How do you like being separated from the one you love?”

“How do you know I love Namjoon?”, you asked suspiciously.

“Despite it being so obvious…” The figure took his mask off. No…more like the figure took her mask off.

“You bitch.”, you growled; you couldn’t believe what you saw.

“Surprise.” Jisoo smiled sweetly at you, but her eyes showed the opposite.

Hate.

Jisoo smiled at you wickedly as she regarded the dagger she held, “Surprised?”

You know, I was right; no one suspects the maid.

“I can’t say that I’m not, but I’ve learned that nobody is what they seem.”

You remembered Jin and cringed.

Jisoo narrowed her eyes at you, “You got that right.” She continued to play with the dagger, as if it was a plastic spork instead of a deadly weapon.

“Why?” you asked, still unable to comprehend her motive.

That caused Jisoo to pause, “You can blame it all on God.”

“What?”

God? Seriously? You knew some people were angry at God, but this is taking it to another level. Yup, defiantly asylum-worthy.

“Let me explain, I lied when I said I never met my love after I died, I did and was so happy. I thought we could be together, I thought we could love each other.

“Turns out, he learned to move on with his life after I died. He even became very interested in religion and ‘found himself’ with God; he became a goddamn priest.

“When I was reunited with him, he wasn’t as enthusiastic as me. He said ‘I’m sorry, Jisoo, my only love right now is with God. I am devoted only to him’. I got so angry and screamed at him, cursed at him, tried to make him feel guilt. He just gave me a polite smile, patted me on the shoulder like some child, and said he’d pray for me.”

She looked like she was about to cry and held the dagger so tightly, her knuckles were white.

“I became angry at God. He stole my one true love, my true love! We were meant to be together. Forever.”

Jisoo glared up at the ceiling, like if God was up there.

“How did that turn into killing Namjoon and me?”, you asked, quite puzzled, and she glared at you.

“Let me finish! For the longest time I just moped about and became really whiny. Then I heard a voice that said that I should take revenge on God and the way to do so will be to eliminate Death, this special being he created.”

“You’re crazy—”

You then paused as you remembered what happened earlier with Jin. A voice like Jisoo described convinced you to kill Jin. Now you know it didn’t excuse your actions, since it was still your choice, but something or someone did put the seed into your mind; you may be hot-blooded but you’re no murderer.

“I know what you mean, I think I heard that voice too.” You said softly and looked around you as if the suspicious voice can hear you now.

Are we both crazy or is there some external force manipulating us?

Jisoo didn’t hear you, she was too busy muttering to herself angrily; it was almost as if she was arguing with herself. You saw her become increasingly agitated and knew if you didn’t do something quickly, you would be worst than dead. You couldn’t wait around until Namjoon realizes you were gone.

Jisoo was still having her internal battle, so you racked your brains on what you can do.

Well my hands and feet are bound, so it’ll be hard to defend myself or escape. I should make it my priority to try and get out of them. You then remembered the nail filer you had put in your pocket that morning so you could file your nails instead of biting them (a horrible habit you are trying to break).

You quickly thanked your luck (or God? That’d be funny) and subtly put your hand in your pocket, which was tougher than your expected.

“I still don’t see how this solves anything.” You said, trying to distract Jisoo and she looked you, as if she just remembered you were there.

“I will stop both life and death.” Jisoo said and giggled a little.

Okay, you thought, I think she officially entered the crazy train. You finally felt the rugged surface and thanked your lucky stars as you started to slowly pull it out of your pocket.

“Really? I see how you’re stopping death, but how exactly are you stopping life?” You asked, mostly to buy time.

You successfully took the filer from your pocket and started scraping it against the rope, hoping it would break. You weren’t much for prayers, but you quickly did one. Please God, let this work.

Jisoo stepped closer to you and brought her dagger up, “I don’t need to tell you. But look at that, your time is up. Good bye, Y/N, Forever.”

“No, wait!” You cried, desperate to stall her, “If Namjoon doesn’t love me, why would he come? That kind of defeats the purpose of using me as bait.”

Jisoo laughed, “You think the only reason I brought you here was for bait? No, there’s something else.”

She stepped closer and you quickly asked, “What do you mean?”

Almost done…just a little bit more…

“Once you marry Death, you won’t be human anymore.”

“What?” This caused you to stop your actions.

Y/N! Focus!

You went back to cutting ropes.

“Oh, Death didn’t mention that little fact? Guess he doesn’t know then. You’ll end up some weird Being like him. You’ll be…Life.”

What? Life? What does that even mean?

“I don’t believe you, you’re lying.”

Jisoo walked up to you and lifted your chin so you looked at her; she gave you a smile.

“Honey, the delusional one is you. Now I think I’m done talking and ready to get to the good part. Time to disappear, Y/N.”

She then thrust the dagger to your heart.

#namjoon fanfic #rm fanfic #namjoon x reader #rm x reader #bts fanfic #bts x reader #death's bride #kim namjoon #bts rm

38 notes · View notes

biglifequestions-blog · 5 years

Text

Big Life Questions

In 1991, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes; an incurable autoimmune disease that would have killed me were it not for the discovery of a breakthrough treatment some 70 years earlier. Had my great grandmother—who lived to be an octogenarian with four grandchildren and eight great grandchildren—been diagnosed with the same condition, natural selection would have swiftly eliminated her and the potential for offspring as unceremoniously as it had thousands of others. By pure chance, my mother, uncle, cousins, brothers, and I would never have been born. Twelve unique progenies, gone; an entire branch of the family tree stunted and withered at the hands of a few faulty genes.

As luck or God or the Universe would have it, I was born at exactly the right moment in history to not only survive type 1 diabetes but thrive. And here I am today at age 29: a walking, talking, breathing, body with blood circulating and nerves firing, alive with not only conscious thoughts, but also feelings, opinions, beliefs, quirks, aptitudes, and proclivities. From this foundation, I’ve created a full and complicated life that includes accomplishments, hobbies, aspirations, and emotional connections to other walking, talking, breathing bodies. That I am even sitting here now in a 600-square-foot apartment in Philadelphia with a Chihuahua named Peanut napping sweetly in my lap, able to freely express myself through the typed English word using an online platform capable of sharing those words with millions of people around the globe, all while my loving husband cooks his take on vegan enchiladas in our tiny kitchen is nothing short of a holy-shit miracle.

I wish I could say that the mind-blowing awareness of my mere existence—never mind the trillions of complex, improbable events that coalesced to have me adopt a Chihuahua—has compelled me to live each of my 10,500+ days on this earth to their absolute fullest. I wish I could say the knowledge of my finite and delicate reality has inspired me to follow my passions, live authentically, and weather life’s storms with grace and fortitude all while dedicating my time and energy toward the betterment of society. Surely a life as precarious as my own would catalyze an ongoing quest to align mind, body, and spirit; to be a role model for overcoming adversity against all odds.

Alas, I am not quite so enlightened.

Last Saturday, for example, I spent the entire day in worn-out sweatpants eating buttered toast and playing Candy Crush on my iPad. Between waiting for more bread to toast, butter to melt, and lives to reload, I scrolled through the bottomless pit that is the /AmITheAsshole sub on Reddit, grappling with the complexity of human social norms while also getting my daily bump of “my life really isn’t so bad” by contrasting my comparatively insignificant problems to the drama of Internet strangers. By sunset, I had succeeded only in eating a half loaf of bread and irritating my husband by finishing off the butter and bringing crumbs into the bed. (AITA?)

I’m sure you’re wondering how I’m able to justify such a flagrant misuse of my time. While I don’t exactly know the answer to that question, I can hazard a guess it’s because I’ve collected enough insignia of a successful life—academic degrees, a wedding ring, my handsome husband, a Pinterest-inspired apartment, stamps in my passport—that the pressure to fill my days with meaningful, enlightened activities has lessened. So long as I continue showing up to work, paying taxes, saying “I love you,” and periodically posting #humblebrags on Twitter about some new promotion or my latest vacation, what does it matter if I occasionally splurge on procrastination and carbohydrates?

…right?

Until last year, I had only peripherally considered that there might be more to life than just achieving and owning things. From high school honors to senior job titles to a committed relationship, these milestones were my markers of success, happiness, and security. I craved them, worked for them, plotted how I would make them happen, and invested all my energy into proving to the world and myself that I was smart, hard-working, lovable, deserving; often to the detriment of my own physical, mental, financial, and spiritual health.

Moreover, I was actively encouraged to seek more of these achievements: to play an instrument in both orchestra and band, attend academic summer camps, double major in college, study abroad, work late, work weekends, work, work, work. I believed these tangible symbols would unlock the secrets to all the Big Intangibles: happiness, passion, fulfillment, security, joy, peace, gratitude, love. And when those fleeting moments of accomplishment came and went, and the Big Intangibles didn’t instantly manifest, I turned to my old, worn copy of the “Perfect Life Checklist” (which I wrote myself at the age of 10) and chose my next goal to appease the restlessness and disappointment in my heart.

And then, after years of sacrificing sleep and sanity to acquire these tangibles, it all came to a climax in May 2018: I had just graduated from a prestigious university with my master’s degree, was months away from marrying my soulmate, and had just been offered a dream job in a new city. Life was perfect or as perfect as I could have contrived. I awoke in my fiancé’s bed the morning after graduation expecting to feel elated, happy, fulfilled; or at the very least, well-rested and content. It was the first Tuesday in perhaps my entire life that I technically had nothing to do and I felt completely, inexplicably…. empty.

Where was the happiness I was promised; the light at the end of the tunnel I built, brick by brick? I felt a sudden urge to laugh followed by the very real experience of tears.

And then, in response to those tears, a harrowing, gut-wrenching, pass-me-the-wine-no-the-whole-bottle question materialized before me as if posed by some older, wiser, separate self: Who would you be without all these labels, titles, and accomplishments?

Who am I?

The answer that came was enough to make me want to dive under the covers and let the carbon dioxide build up around me.

Before I go any further, I want to recognize that despite living with a chronic illness, the problems and concerns I’m describing here are distinctly privileged-people-problems. I understand and appreciate that my ability to grapple with questions about my identity and personal fulfillment are luxuries only possible because of that privilege. I don’t have to worry about basic necessities like where I’m sleeping tonight or from where my next meal will come. I don’t wake up worrying about whether I might get arrested, mugged, shot at, or bombed if I walk out my front door or if I might be persecuted for my skin color, openly practicing my religion, or loving who I love. That I even have health insurance to afford the medication that keeps me alive is a blessing that I am keenly aware not everyone with my disease has.

Yet it’s precisely this knowledge—that other people who were born into different circumstances must work a hundred times harder and maybe not ever get to the point I find myself at now—that makes answering these Big Life Questions even more important. With all my privilege and so few barriers standing in the way of me living a magnificent, inspirational, blessed life of service and passion, why am I not making every day, hour, and minute count?

I pondered that question again a few months ago when I was asked to give a presentation at an all-employee meeting for work. “All-employee” meaning, of course, the entire company; hundreds of people in-person and remote gathered in one moment to critically judge my outfit, throat-clearing tic, and the way I pronounce “gala”—or at least, that’s what it felt like. A naturally nervous public speaker, I practiced obsessively to minimize the risk of forgetting my own name and spent copious time working through every worst-case scenario. In the shower, on the train, before bed, in my dreams; I worried and rehearsed that speech so many times that my ultimate irrational fear of a light fixture falling from the ceiling and concussing me mid-word could have come to fruition and my lips would have continued mouthing statistics while my hands, of their own accord, gesticulated to slide 5 bullet point 2 at the 20-minute mark exactly as rehearsed.

This exercise was, like many of my endeavors, not borne out of passion and commitment to a good cause, but a calculated attempt to take on another “professional development opportunity” in the hopes that it would indirectly increase the likelihood of my future happiness by one, maybe two, percent. Because more responsibility at work = more money = more success, stability, and therefore infinite happiness, right? The irony of all this calculation is that an activity I expected to yield happiness had the unintended consequences of increasing my stress levels by 1000 percent and costing valuable time with my friends and family.

And tell me, what exactly is the point of investing all this energy and being so completely exhausted if there’s no greater good, higher purpose, or feeling happy and inspired before, during, and after? What’s the point of tackling any endeavor if it’s only going to lead to a buttered toast/social media binge to cover the feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction?

Until now, I’ve asked but not fully grappled with these Big Life Questions. But I want to. I want to wrestle and spar, analyze and critique until awareness turns into action and potentially transformation. In my short life I’ve had the opportunity to answer some medium life questions whose answers led to amazing, unexpected changes. Questions like, “What more do you have to lose?”, “Would you be willing to relocate?” and “Will you marry me?” I’ve answered and then watched life shift miraculously to accommodate my new conceptualization of what’s possible. And now, I feel myself standing at the edge of another new conceptualization with an ever-present awareness of my own potential, mortality, limitations, limitlessness, and connection to the rest of humanity.

This blog is a chronicle of my attempts to answer and act on life’s biggest questions, including, but not limited to:

Who am I?

What is my greater purpose in life?

How can I find joy in the mundane?

How can I make the most of every day?

How can I be kinder to myself in deed and thought?

How can I honor and love my body?

How can I love unconditionally?

How can I forgive myself and others?

How can I overcome my fears?

How can I have more faith?

How can I live in the present moment more often?

How can I align my career and work with my passions and higher purpose?

How can I be of service to others?

If you decide to follow along, I hope my words can provide some perspective on how to begin answering your own BLQ’s, even if what I’m describing is a case study in what not to do. Consider what follows to be a record of hard lessons learned, a magnifying glass for bad habits, an arena for confronting fears and traumas, a whiteboard for exploring crazy ideas, and with a little luck and determination, a launching pad into the magnificent, inspirational, blessed life of service and passion I hope to live.

#biglifequestions #selfhelp #selflove #newblog #type1diabetes #consciousness #sprirituality #happiness #searchformeaning

1 note · View note

weecb1983 · 5 years

Text

Such a parcel of rogues in a nation…

O would, or I had seen the day

That treason thus could sell us,

My auld gray head had lien in clay,

Wi' Bruce and loyal Wallace!

But pith and power, till my last hour,

I'll mak' this declaration;

We're bought and sold for English gold -

Such a parcel of rogues in a nation.

Interpretation of poetry has never been my strong point, but I’d hazard a guess that The Bard was pretty pissed off when he wrote these words. More than 200 years later, I have to wonder – are we still a “parcel of rogues in a nation”?

I started off 2019 with two resolutions:

1. Don’t worry about things until they happen

2. Stop tweeting

I lasted until the 2nd of January before I came across a tweet from the Scotsman…”End indyref2 talk in 2019, campaigners TELL @NicolaSturgeon” and felt compelled to retweet with a sarcastic comment and a bemused emoji. Fast forward a few hours and I’m awake at 3am, anxious about the state of the country and a Brexit that hasn’t happened yet.

Earlier in the year, to relieve my anxiety, the “other half” begrudgingly agreed to me stockpiling food. So I set about compiling a “Brexit Cupboard” filled with pasta, rice and other staples from the continent such as olive oil and sundried tomatoes that may be hard to come by in the even a no-deal Brexit scenario. I received a lot of stick for this from friends and family, who suggested that I was catastrophising and perhaps I had too much time on my hands, being on maternity leave at the time. It was time I went back to work.

Brexit cupboard ready to go, I still find myself awake at stupid o’clock in the morning, so in another attempt to get a decent night’s sleep I thought I’d try to take the thoughts that are troubling me and put them down on paper….

Back in 2014 when Scotland voted No, I was heartbroken but I understood and accepted the result. I don’t blame my friends and family who voted No (openly). Initially, my gut reaction was No. It was a risk, but I decided that since it was such a serious decision, I should partake in some research. I had never been interested in politics before and, prior to 2013, wasn’t even registered to vote. Coming from a predominantly socialist family, I was conscious that my vote should be an informed decision and not based on what those around me thought. The more I read, the more convinced I was that Scotland should be independent, and the more incensed I became that we weren’t already.

I joined Twitter, entered into discussion with “Unionists”, asking questions and looking for a reason as to why Scotland should remain as part of the UK. I am still looking. For one single reason. Instead I have received nothing but condescending replies, questioning my intelligence and level of education, or lack thereof. One lovely chap asking, “not very bright are you?”. Regarding the ever divisive topic of Scottish Independence, polite discourse quickly descends into “sharing and pooling” and “fiscal transfer” and “go away, you don’t understand”. I’ve tried with GERS. I really have, and I don’t think it’s that GERS figures are beyond the comprehension of the average “cybernat”. Just that they are far too dull to hold the attention of all but the most dogged “Britnat”, who would rather see Scotland burn to the ground than be independent (they might get their wish come April). They wait eagerly for “GERS-figures day” every year and, like a dog with a bone, rip them to shreds and shout “See! They are your own government’s figures and they show that Scotland is too wee, too poor! Get back in your box”. From what I can understand, these figures are based on Scotland being part of the so-called “United” Kingdom and can’t be used to predict what an independent Scotland would look like so I really don’t see what all the hoo-hah is about to be honest.

Sometimes I think, in an alternative universe, where Scotland voted Yes four years ago, what would my unionist friends and family think if the country was in the state that it is now? I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t be biting their tongue, going by the continuous loop of “SNP-bad” rhetoric that still prevails, despite none of this current shit-show being of their doing.

Looking at the state of affairs, it is extremely disturbing to see what people will accept nowadays. If you had told me four years ago that the UK would be stockpiling food and medicine, preparing the army for civil unrest and that Schrödinger’s drones would cause Gatwick airport to grind to a halt, I would have said, no one in their right mind would vote for that….but then again, they didn’t put that on the big red bus.

Credit where it’s due to the Westminster establishment, they have been extremely clever in this respect. Of course it would never have worked to put “Vote for martial law” on the bus! Instead, over two years they have, little by little, gone from “£350 million for the NHS!” to “a no-deal scenario wouldn’t be the end of the world” with Westminster’s very own resident hobbit Michael Gove kindly suggesting that we allow people to scavenge on rubbish heaps. Even better, it will give us a chance to go back to the good old days of the Blitz when everyone pulled together. To anyone who says that, I say, get yourself down a trench during the Battle of the Somme in 1916. I visited the WW1 battlefields in 2015 after 97 years of peace, and it was traumatising enough.

To anyone who is (even now!) unsure about whether Brexit is all bad, I simply say, look at who supports it…for the love of God! Imagine, stumbling across a party and looking around to see Boris Johnson, Hobbit Gove, Nigel Farage, Andrea Leadsom, Dominic Raab, Priti Patel, John Redwood, Vladimir Putin and last but by no means least, the smiling assassin, Jacob Rees-Mogg and his fellow Dickensian panto-villain Julia Hartley-Brewer (never trust anyone with a double-barrelled surname). I would be turning on my heel and getting out of that place before they started burning £50 notes (or as it will be known post-brexit…$5,000,000).

I happen to think Theresa May herself would also be at that party. I am not for a minute buying that she was ever a Remainer. I reckon her husband (senior executive at an investment fund that profits from tax-avoiding companies) would stand to lose a pretty penny from the EU’s Anti Tax Avoidance Directive which was presented on 28th January 2016 (!) and requires its member states to apply these measures as of 1st January 2019…3 months before the Brexit deadline. Coincidence? No deal has always been the end goal and who better to run down the clock than the cringe-worthy curtseying Theresa May who campaigned so emphatically for Remain? Theresa May, who is trying to broker a deal that is best for the WHOLE country and one that supports the democratic vote…the last democratic vote you’ll ever have, by the way. Because now democracy means that when you voted once, based on an illegal campaign that no-one has been held accountable for, you are no longer entitled to change your mind because that is what democracy means now. Is Theresa May the Keyser Söze of Westminster? Albeit her daft walk at the end is to the tune of Abba? Is she that clever and forward-thinking to have orchestrated this whole clusterbourach?

No, she is merely a puppet and her strings are being pulled by disaster capitalists who know exactly what they are doing. They will have prepared for every eventuality.

Panto villain Mogg has been popping his polite, well-spoken, over-privileged and under-achieving head up recently to air his views whenever he can on the main-stream media. I noted that he voiced his support of the late Margaret Thatcher featuring on the new £50 note. Margaret Thatcher, who was a known admirer of General Pinochet.

This is a quote from Naomi Klein’s book, The Shock Doctrine:

“The British prime minister was well acquainted with what she called “the remarkable success of the Chilean economy”, describing it as a “striking example of economic reform from which we can learn many lessons”. Yet despite her admiration for Pinochet, when Hayek first suggested that she emulate his shock therapy policies, Thatcher was far from convinced. In February 1982, the prime minister bluntly explained the problem in a private letter to her intellectual guru. “I am sure you will agree that, in Britain with our democratic institutions and the need for a high degree of consent, some of the measures adopted in Chile are quite unacceptable. Our reform must be in line with our traditions and our Constitution. At times the process may seem painfully slow.”

I wonder if 30 odd years is slow enough and I think by “quite unacceptable”, she means this…

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/the-pinochet-affair-i-saw-them-herded-to-their-death-i-heard-the-gunfire-as-they-died-1179543.html

Make no mistake, this is a right-wing coup. It’s just that it’s being carried out in an orderly fashion – the British way.

No one wants to talk about Brexit anymore. The majority of the people in my life are completely ignorant about the consequences of a no-deal scenario, blissfully so, and encourage me to join them. The apathy shown towards the biggest political disaster to happen to this country in living memory is beyond my comprehension. So half the country is sleepwalking and half have just about reached Brexit saturation point and all the time we are being nudged, slowly towards the edge of the cliff. ….and when we’re pushed over the edge, there will be Sajid Javid waiting on an armed boat shouting “CRISIS! - NO MIGRANTS ALLOWED!”. The neoliberals stand to make a tidy profit while the country is reeling from the chaos that would inevitably ensue from a No-deal. We can look forward to the swift privatisation of our Health Service, abolition of the welfare state, chlorinated chicken, etc.

In 2014, Scottish independence was about hope and the ability to control our own affairs. Now, it’s about the survival of our democracy. If Scotland is not independent come March 29th 2019, I predict that, freed from the burden of EU laws, Westminster will adopt Henry VIII powers to abolish the devolved parliaments. It has already shown what it is capable of, and its contempt of the Scottish parliament, by taking them to court over the Continuity Bill. Scotland has barely been mentioned throughout the Brexit “negotiations” and has been disregarded and disrespected at every turn. We are absolutely not, as was promised, “Better Together”. Independence is the only option now and I, for one, hope to begin 2020 as part of an independent Scotland with my human rights still intact.

However, if anyone is reading this in a post-Brexit version of “The Handmaid’s Tale”….nothing to see here! All left-wing views out the window. God save the Queen.

#Brexit IndyRef2 StopBrexit

1 note · View note

makeste · 6 years

Text

self-promote as if I were to die

Hey guys, so I’m going to do something I don’t think I've ever done this blatantly on this blog, which is to shamelessly self-promote my own fanfics. And the reason I am doing so is because I have actually written a new fic (see the bottom of this post for more details), for the first time since 2010 (I'm not counting the crack stuff in this case). And I am very excited, but also nervous, because after eight years of inactivity, I’m basically diving into an entirely different fandom landscape. And I think I am currently “known” (so to speak) mostly for my recaps and crackfics, as opposed to a bunch of character studies and angst pieces I wrote like ten fucking years ago lol.

So! These are my fanfic archives:

Archive of our Own

Fanfiction.Net

Livejournal

Themes I tend to write about (and some recs):

Character Studies: When I first started writing KHR stuff, I did a bunch of these. This was back before I had the attention span and confidence to try writing longer fics, but I think these are still pretty good.

Rec:

Dieci Anni - introspective piece on Gokudera and the contrasts between his 14 and 24-year-old selves

Gen: SO MUCH GEN. I love friendship. I mean, like romance too, but I just don’t write much of it.

Rec:

Invincible - 8059 car chase in Italy, because it’s the mafia and you gotta have a car chase at some point damn it

8059 Gen: Yeah I’ve written enough of this that it probably warrants calling it out as a specific genre fave of mine. I will take 8059 friendship in any and all forms. Friendship, fluff, rivals, brothers in arms, partners in crime, shoulders to cry on; you name it and I’ve probably written it.

Rec:

Indeterminism - um. This one is a bit harder to describe. It’s Yamamoto first-person POV, and the premise is that he’s somehow died?? Apparently?? but somehow Gokudera can see and talk to his “ghost” self, and then after a bit they get it into their heads to try and go back in time to stop Yamamoto from ever dying to begin with, and things get really kooky from there because time travel physics yep yep. This is currently my favorite thing that I’ve written up til now.

Angst: For the most part nothing too extreme, but I really dig characters having minor emotional crises and being bailed out by their loyal friends (and/or pragmatic but secretly loving infant tutors).

Rec:

Please Give the Name of the Person Who Referred You - this takes place immediately post-Future Arc and features Tsuna freaking out because he killed someone (Byakuran! Yeah, this was before he inexplicably returned) for the first time ever

First Kills: Another specific genre for you. I’ve written three of these, one for each of the main trio. Idk. They’re in the mob and sometimes I just want them to act like it (but then freak out and wrestle with their emotions after).

Rec:

The Test - and here we have Yamamoto’s first kill, during which he freaks out about how much he is not freaked out, because lol natural born hitman and all that

Being Mean to Yamamoto: The most specific genre of all. I don’t know why I’m so compelled to fuck around with this kid all the time. Probably because he’s so naturally angst-resistant that I just can’t help but want to throw terrible situations at him just to see how he would react if shit ever really hit the fan.

Rec:

Down the Stairs - this is an alternate-timeline fic in which Yamamoto’s dad was killed by the Ninth’s son Enrico, resulting in Yamamoto siding against Tsuna and Gokudera in the resulting Vongola civil war. I will also tell you right now that this features a major character death so if that’s an immediate ‘no’ from anyone I completely understand

Lastly, here’s a barefaced plug for my soon-to-be-posted new fic, because I’ve had this idea in my head for more than six years, and I’ve finally managed to get it all on paper, and it's very, very long, and I put a lot of love and thought and planning into it so fuck modesty. I am a strong, independent woman who... uh...

...SO YEAH, I WROTE A NEW FIC, AND IT FEATURES:

805927 Gen - That's right, all three of these losers. The last two canon arcs did not focus on this trio much, due to having too many additional characters to keep track of, so you can be damn sure I aimed to do otherwise, because I love them.

Post-Series Plot - One of the good things about KHR having ended (sob why does the wound still feel fresh) is that I can take the story in any direction I want to from here and not have to worry about canon trying to undo all of my hard work for once. So this takes place about three months after the end of the series. There are new bad guys and a new threat which is more personal than in previous canon arcs.

Italy - This takes place in motherfucking Italy

Headcanon - Ohhhh man. Okay so have you ever had a headcanon so powerful that you couldn’t escape it and it just grew and grew and eventually became canon!canon to you, but it was also so fucking convoluted that you felt like you couldn’t ever explain it to someone else without writing a 50k word fic about it so you could show how it all would make sense? I’m sure that’s a problem everyone has had. Anyway yeah so this features my giant headcanon which I’ve held secret and safe for more than half a decade but am now finally presenting to the world for approval and/or sound rejection.

Gokudera’s Past - Oh right, and the headcanon is all about Gokudera’s past

27 Character Development - So I also have some thoughts on Tsuna and his steadfast refusal to accept the title of Vongola X even after everything he’s been through, and what it might take for him to begin to change his mind. And this is another thing that I for some reason found easier to explain via a novel-length story rather than just writing meta like normal people. So yeah.

5927 (Friendship) - For ten fucking years I’ve insisted to people that while I endgame 8059, I also totally support 5927. And then I’ve proceeded to write nothing but 8059 content. The problem is that I’ve always thought there was some development missing between Tsuna and Gokudera that was needed in order to truly make it work. But to make that development happen, I needed a massive, angsty plot to act as the impetus. So that’s literally the only reason why I’ve never written 5927 before, but now it is finally happening so strap in. (Though I should repeat that in terms of story this development is strictly gen, like every other damn thing I write.)

A Yamamoto Fight - Oh you bet

Angst - Of fucking course

So! I will be posting part one of that tomorrow. Ha ha ha I hope there is some interest, but if not at least I finally got it out of my brain and it feels fucking good.

ETA: Here's the link to part 1 of Blood of the Covenant over on Archive of our Own: Link.

#khr #katekyo hitman reborn #fic #khr fic #sawada tsunayoshi #gokudera hayato #yamamoto takeshi #8059 #805927 #shameless self-promotion #so shameless #'don't worry' I tell myself #'you're just posting links to some of your old works'#'it doesn't come off as egotistical and won't annoy anyone'#'that sounds fake but okay' I reply as I hit the post button and then run

15 notes · View notes