#I’m sorry Santino.. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

killshotbabe · 1 year

Text

Title | Overheated

Pairing | high school friend’s crush/bf!Jeno x reader ft. nct dream (minor appearance)

Warnings | minors dni! mention of smoking and alcohol consumption, use of swear words, reader stuck in an “uncomfortable” situation, close proximity, drunk!reader at some point, sexual tension, cheating/affair, jeno gaslights reader (or does he really?), fingering, implied solo masturbation, slight somnophilia, a bit "dub non-con" in the beginning, overstimulation, sex under the influence (reader only), dirty talk, unprotected sex (please wear protection!), implied public sex, no romance in any type of context

Word count | 4.5k

Song(s) | red - santino le saint, link up - kid travis

A.N | May or may not have dreamed about the idea of this lol. Just finished it today so happy valentines! (this one-shot won't make you blush that way...)

You’re not sure why your friend decided to it would be a good idea to go out with someone like him to begin with.

At first, you thought she’d get over him like usual, hoping it’s just a part of her “hyper-fixations” just like how she’s got maybe five crushes all at once (from what you can recall in one of those nights you spent hanging out in her bedroom) but much to your horror, it wasn’t as simple as that.

You remember her gawking at him at the cafeteria after she had jokingly pinched you, nudging you to check him out in which caused to roll your eyes and proceed to open the cap of your cold tea.

You didn’t care about crushes at all, and yes, he was cute, handsome even but the only thing that piqued your interest at the moment was that sleek navy blue motorcycle he brought to school. You’ve always wanted one and to say that you were jealous of him flexing one at such young age is nothing but an understatement — you wanted what he had even if you couldn’t afford it.

And that wasn’t fair to you. Not when he barely has to do anything when you’re out here working part-time at a pizza parlour and you can barely even pay half of the bills at home.

Him and his old money status can go to hell, you think. He doesn’t even need to show up to any of his classes and you’re one-hundred percent sure he’ll be able to get into any top universities so easily, he just has to maybe tell his parents—

“Hey, are you listening?”

You blink away from your train of thought, the faint bustle of the library buzzing into your ear.

You realize you’re still in the same place for about three hours now, trying to study with the same friend (which would be your only friend, not best friend yet though because you don’t like getting attached to things, let alone actual people) who had been yapping about him for the past hour, and you may or may not have told her to shut the fuck up in your head twice.

“Wait, sorry.” You lie, typing away as your friend broke into a sly grin after finally catching your attention. “What did you say?”

“I said I’m gonna talk to Jeno today.”

Jeno.

Him.

You couldn’t help but squint, almost bursting out of laughter.

You didn’t mind your friend at all.

She was fun, even if she’s the complete opposite of you. Loved cute things like pastel colours, calico critters and dressed the part as 1/4 of the future art majors in your campus (quirky, and she happened to obsessed with colour yellow), and collects a shit ton of squishmallows she even has a separate storage for it. She’s literally the true epitome of cute, preppy and pure.

Way too pure when it comes to that said department actually.

You weren’t even sure how someone like you were friends with her, and why she wouldn’t leave you alone but she was quite persistent with you — having to initiate things first after meeting you then following you around until you decided to just let her have at it.

Ever since then the two of you had been inseparable.

Though that didn’t mean you two were automatically best friends (even if she did say this a couple of times) and you would be lying if you saw it that way too when she mostly talked about herself, her hobbies, her interests, etc. unlike you who just sits there and listens, nodding your head off as if you do agree (mostly you don’t because you can’t relate or it’s just not your style) but you don’t really have the heart to tell her that… not when she’s generally nice and hasn’t really done anything to offend you.

You just admire the fact that she keeps dragging you around and never gave up on you. You don’t even know what made her want to work her butt off to earn your approval and have her invade your space like that, but you guessed that maybe she’s just someone you might need in your life.

…And that maybe, she’s there for a reason you can’t quite guess.

She hasn’t done anything stupid anyway.

…Until today.

“What?”

You balked, brows raised as she sighed dreamily, already planning her wedding dress for when she ends up marrying Jeno, her “soon-to-be high school sweetheart” as she mentioned just a few times and might have tried to manifest too with you in her room in front of her mini crystal collection she’s been obsessed with lately.

“I’m gonna say hi to him today! I’m sick of him not knowing who I am.”

If anything, you weren’t really surprised with this sudden revelation.

It was about time for her to finally try to introduce herself to him after crushing on him for two months now, and you do know she would have the great confidence to almost pursue anything, including him but you didn’t really want this day to come (hell, the thought of it was already dreadful) because you already knew what was bound to happen once she approaches him.

It’s like… surrendering a fawn to a den full of lions, and you can’t do anything but watch her get eaten, figuratively-speaking.

“You don’t look too happy, but that won’t stop me y’know.”

She winked mischievously, stealing a tomato chip off your lunch as you shook your head, a little smile playing on the edge of your lips.

“Do whatever you want but don’t rope me into your shit.”

You shrugged only to earn a scowl from her, her round eyes practically begging you to tag along when she introduces herself to him later on.

“But… c’mon! You don’t even have to say anything you just have to be there for moral support, pretty please?”

You could only sigh, pausing whatever you were doing just to look at her in the eye, already incapable of saying ‘no’ to her because in your defense she looked too cute.

You couldn’t afford to break her heart by saying no.

“Fine… whatever! Just get me ice cream after then we’re good.”

“Oh, I was about to say that too in case he rejects me ha ha,” she laughs off as she sipped on her watered down mango juice. “But at least I tried, yes? Then we can just enjoy our little ice cream date but I might cry…”

You weren’t even worried about that all, but you don’t say that part to your friend because guys like Jeno fancied cute girls.

Especially the innocent ones.

And your friend just might be the perfect girl for him.

To say that you weren’t right would be a goddamn lie, and you wished you were anywhere else but here, inside Jeno’s black sports car, the posh leather seat cold under your lap.

It’s been a month since the day your friend had introduced herself to him with such spark in her eyes you thought Jeno’s friends might have fallen for her too. One of them was even eyeing her from head to toe, visibly amused after seeing her short little skirt hugging her little frame.

Your friend, on top of being the real embodiment of cute, was still gorgeous and easy on the eyes, so it didn’t really surprise you when Jeno ended up giving his number to her as you tucked yourself away from his plain sight, hiding behind your much shorter friend when she confessed her feelings to him with so much confidence, it made you gag.

You weren’t really sure what happened overnight but just a week after, you found yourself on your own as your friend started hanging out with Jeno, his friends and their equally cute “girlfriends”, but she still made sure to spend half of her lunch break with you, even trying to drag you to their table but you could only reject her offer and excuse yourself because you had to catch up on an “assignment” when in reality, you would rather sit in the library by yourself than sit with them.

Then, today, you and your friend was supposed to go shopping by train but what she didn’t tell you was Jeno was gonna be there to drive the two of you so you don’t have to commute on the way to the mall and on the way back.

At first, you fumed having to deal with him being in an inclosed space as you, but it was indeed cold outside now that it’s halfway October and you certainly didn’t want to wait for the train with you friend in this type of weather (and maybe you did want to see his car up close and personal…) so you begrudgingly agreed, letting her yank you off your misery and plunge you into it all when she voluntarily pushed you to the backseat, your eyes drifting to Jeno who’s still talking to one of his friends, Mark, another guy from his group you do find just as attractive.

You could only roll your eyes as your friend wore her seatbelt on, giddily humming to herself. You gradually shifted your attention elsewhere, quite amazed with the clean and sleek interior of his car, but again it made sense.

Jeno was neat, never messy.

“Sorry, Mark was being clingy.”

You briefly hear him quickly apologize with a low chuckle as he slipped behind the wheel, his classy, citrusy scent invading your senses.

You cross your arms and looked away, trying to get him off your head as your friend’s slightly high-pitched voice cooed him “it”s okay!” and that “we can wait” ultimately, ignoring that fact that she just called him “babe” after.

This was one major thing you couldn’t bring yourself to fully admit — the fact that he’s now officially “seeing” your friend not even after a few months in which you felt no ounce of happiness about.

Your friend did inform you about it just a few nights before when she asked if you could come over and watch a scary movie with her because she noticed you were too busy and had no time with her (and you did feel bad because even if she’s always with him, she till spent some time with you only for you to run away for the most part) but she didn’t confront you about it at all.

If anything, it seemed like the usual chill nights you’d share with her until she brought him up and dropped the bomb on you without some sort of a warning beforehand especially when she can tell you’re not fond of Jeno nor his friends.

It felt like a sick joke, and it just feels like you friend is doing her best to make you change your mind about him which you don’t plan on doing so, not when you catch him doing PDA with your friend here and there you couldn’t help but swear at him in your head and look away.

The more time you had to spend with those two, sometimes with their friends, made you want to crumble or run off to the opposite direction.

They were exactly like what you imagined them to be, a couple of rich, privileged kids with filthy heads, the filth your friend is too innocent to be able discern.

They were sneaky about it too especially that Haechan guy who might have tried to get into your pants before, and you hated him so bad you had to tell him to back off you in which he called you feisty in return with the sinister promise of “you’ll want me someday.” before he left you to go smoke.

The rest of the group hasn’t really said anything to you yet. Sometimes they did but it was shallow and the girls hated your guts which is fair because you hated them as much (and with passion too). The only person you could perhaps stand in the group was Renjun.

The guy didn’t make any back-handed comments and he kept to himself for the most part but he did flash you a gaze occasionally wondering why you’re even here to begin with when it’s so damn obvious you don’t like anyone except your friend who always made sure you were included even if you tried to get away, and when you do try… it always ends with her getting what she wants.

And now you’re here, lost in your thoughts as you bore your full attention to the rows of yellow lights in the tunnel, the loud laughter your friend shared with Jeno mocking you.

He did leave the two of you alone to go shopping, and just came back to pick the you up as promised, then he’s supposed to drop you off first before her then they might go on a date like she told you earlier with so much excitement she couldn’t even choose between the two purses at a high-end store you were helping to choose from.

In the end, the two of you walked out the store satisfied — her with a new heart-shaped purse and you with a cashmere scarf you’ve been fancying on for months now that was on sale (which did hurt your bank account but your friend offered to pay half of it so you can just pay her back with instalments) this then provided some sort of a distraction for you, even offering to buy her a warm drink from the cafe as a sweet treat but since Jeno was already parked by the exit, you had to hurry.

They were still giggling as you shifted uncomfortably in your seat, the urge to strap your headphones around your head getting stronger the more you tuned in, even rolling your eyes when Jeno asked for her hand so he could give it a kiss as if you weren’t just there, witnessing the horrors.

Much to your looming demise, you try to relax and lay your head back with a determined attempt to lull yourself to quick nap anyway since your apartment is around thirty minutes away, so you fold your arms, turned your head to face the window and closed your eyes.

Not even ten minutes later, just when you were about to actually let sleep take over, your hear the deep rumble of Jeno’s voice.

“She’s asleep isn’t she?”

There was a slight movement from your friend, causing you to hold your breath as you feel her check on you.

“Yep, she did say she was tired.”

“She doesn’t talk much. Why are you even friends with her?”

Jeno snickered, taunting you from the rear-view mirror as you tried your best not to reach out and strangle him god willing.

He doesn’t even know you like that.

“She’s nice! Just give her some time.” You friend sighed, defending your honour which you almost snorted at but pretending to be asleep at this very moment was more ideal for you, you think.

You pushed yourself to further into the door, eyelids slightly parting just in time to see him give her a sleazy wink before you saw his hand land on her lap, making your heart drop at the sight.

You weren’t sure if you liked where this was going at all.

“She’s sleeping Jeno…”

You clawed on your sleeved, clenching your jaw when you hear Jeno whisper rather suggestively.

You knew it was meant for your friend, but he didn’t even bother hiding it, assuming you’re fully knocked out at the back seat.

“If you can keep it down, she won’t know.”

You swore you almost cried, knuckles turning white for how hard you formed into fists when you hear your friend’s shy giggles which enveloped to a series of quiet moans from the front seat when he began touching her down there as he drove, the soft r&b blaring from his speakers in an attempt to suppress the noises your friend was trying so hard to hide so she won’t wake you up, when in reality, you were very much awake to witness all of this happening.

At this point, you genuinely wished you were dead, begging for the door to just unlatch itself so you can slide off your seat and fall into the road to your death than sit here, being forced to hear your friend let out a strangled moan as he fingered her, easily dragging her close to her peak.

You wanted it to stop — for them to just cut it out and put an end to your nightmare but it only got worse as the time went by.

You can practically hear the lewd noises Jeno was making with his fingers as he played with her sheer arousal and the way he was talking to her in such a dirty manner for the sole purpose to make her cum in which she violently did just a few minutes later, an animalistic high-pitched squeak leaving her lips before she heaving and moaning his name shakily with him still fucking her with fervour, overstimulating her.

The subsequent scarlet hue spread on your cheeks, heating your face up, second-hand embarrassment kicking in as you chewed on your lip until you drew blood from your cracked ones, neck craning all the way to your side so your scarf could hide the horrified expression on your face.

You weren’t sure if you wanted to cry or laugh — cry because he had the audacity to finger your friend at your presence or laugh because of the high-pitched noise your friend made. You think it’s a mixture of both and you think you might have gone clinically insane from that alone as this was not a part of your bingo card.

It’s only been a few weeks. Have they fucked already?

You try to contain yourself as you kept still when you hear them share a languid kiss in which your friend giggled to before she flashed you a quick gaze, making sure you were in fact, still asleep.

“She probably didn’t hear that did she?”

“I’m sure she didn’t.” Jeno’s mocking tone caused you to move slightly, but not enough to make him think you were awake all along.

Your neck became stiff after what seemed like forever, and as much as you wanted to stay in this painful position you knew you had rouse yourself up just because you couldn’t handle “sleeping” anymore, so you waited until your friend led him to your street as she navigated for him.

It was then the only time you stirred yourself up, alerting the both of them that you were now “awake.”

“Hey, sleepy head!”

You yawned, trying to look at her in the eye in the dark as you borrowed into your scarf, hiding half of your face.

“Yo.”

You diverted your to the windows and recognized your surroundings as the car halted just in front of your apartment complex, relief surging through you in sudden realization that you’re finally home.

“Thank god.”

You murmured under your breath, hand already fixed to the door handle, about to yank yourself out of there when your friend stopped you just before you can leave.

“See you next week!”

She piped up, her pupils shaking in pure excitement you almost asked what the hell she smoked to look like that when you already knew it was due to post-orgasm high.

You couldn’t help but to mirror her expression, but with a completely different reason.

You think you might want to commit right there if you kept smiling for ten more seconds, much like an unhinged criminal.

“Yeah! See you and thanks for the ride, Jeno.”

“Anytime.”

You see him nod at you, acknowledging your thankful nature (he probably though you were incapable of doing that) before you sprinted off, the two of them watching you attentively as you pushed yourself inside the lobby, cursing vehemently under your breath.

You didn’t even sleep that night, not when you find your underwear being wet from your own arousal after thinking about it again.

You don’t even like Jeno to any degree and yet, you still dreamed of him but not for good reasons.

Not at all.

And if your friend was to find out, it would be game over.

“I might have a friend who can take me in so Tony can come and fix this.”

You sigh, seeing as how the flooding got worse over the weekend due to the nonstop rainy weather and you, unfortunately, still rents the basement of a hosting family your mother personally knew but since they were on vacation in the UK and the main floor is locked, you can’t even access the floor and camp in the couch until the flooding issue gets fixed.

You’ve been on the phone with your host for an hour now explaining everything, and that they were going dispatch a friend to fix the damage shortly but still advised you that you’ll probably want to look for a friend to sleep over at for the mean time which you were okay with but you didn’t really want to do that even if you had no choice.

Hotels were costly so you dialled your only friend anyway whilst chugging what’s left from your coffee cup before tossing it in the nearby bin.

You’re in a local library now, left with nothing but a small suitcase you hastily shoved most of your every day necessities in to cover one week’s worth. Your host did say it should be okay to come back in a week or less so you made sure not to overpack, and you didn’t really want to stay there for longer, not when the slightly murky water felt cold around your feet.

“What? Are you serious!”

You sighed for what seemed like the 100th time today as you told your friend the whole situation.

“Not sure if this is going work but do you think you can take me in?” You inwardly groaned. “I can pay you.”

“Boo, I wish I can but my aunt’s over with my cousins I don’t have a space for you. Maybe after four days? They leave on Friday!”

“Well that won’t work, thank you though. I’ll go find a hotel—”

“No, no that’s going to be more expensive I can get someone to take you in though if that’s ok?”

You hummed, picking on your nail at the thought. Might as well give it a try.

“Sure…?”

“Ok, great! Give me a sec!”

You hear some sort of a movement from the other line before you hear your friend’s muffled voice once again.

“I just texted Jeno! He should be done working out right now. Where are you?”

“What?!” You let out a harsh whisper, trying to calm down realizing you’re in fact, still in a library. “Jeno—? I didn’t even agree just yet!”

“Well, he’s the only person I one-hundred percent trust with you even if you guys don’t talk but he’s got a huge place you can stay in and then he can even pick both of us up for school!”

“No,” You clutched your head in annoyance, trying your best not to hiss. “I— I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“What? Why? He already said he can do that though just now and I really don’t want you to spend money in a hotel. Too expensive. Good luck with Jeno though because he’ll say no with paying so you’re in good hands!” She laughed a little, making you huff on the other line. “Please? Maybe you guys can be friends. It gets so awkward when I’m with the both of you and you don’t even talk to him…”

“It’s just…” You try to explain. “I don’t know I feel like it’s so rude of me to just—”

“Honey, you’re not being rude! He literally said yes, and he’s got like two cars over there that you might like. If you ask nicely, maybe he can let you drive one to school? How about that?”

You wished she didn’t mention that at all, especially knowing that sport scars were your weakness in general and Jeno happened own two more aside from the one he drives to school.

You weren’t even sure if you had any ounce of dignity left at this point.

Hotels were costly, and you didn’t want to ask your mom for money to spend in a hotel thinking you’ve got a friend to cover for you, plus what you make from your part-time job wasn’t enough to foot the bill if you were to opt for a hotel.

If it was someone else, perhaps Mark or Renjun, you would probably agree without missing a beat (not like they would offer themselves in the first place, but if they did, you’d rather be with them) but this was Jeno.

The guy you’re friend is “seeing” and the same guy you thought about that night when you shouldn’t have.

You don’t even know if you could look at him in the eye anymore, and now you would have to stay over because he’s that nice?

“Heeeey, are you okay? I thought you ended the call for a second there.”

You cleared your throat, trying to make up your mind.

Am I gonna do this or not? Why the fuck would he even agree to this…

“I’m here sorry…”

“Don’t worry about it, okay? I really want you guys to start talking… Don’t you think this is a good idea? He thinks it might be good too.”

“He said that?” You almost laugh. “Thank you, but…”

“He did actually and no buts! Do this for me please?”

“You… fine, fine…” You say as you give up, letting her win over you again.

“Okay! Yay!”

You hear her clasp her hands together before she asked where your exact location was again, intending to forward it to Jeno.

In the end, she simply gave your number to him so it would be easier, logically speaking, but you didn’t even want to save his number at all or have that exchange. It felt so weird to have him there, in your short list of contacts when you don’t even consider him a “friend” for that matter.

You weren’t even sure if you were doing your friend a “favour” even if she did say she trusts Jeno because deep down, you knew she shouldn’t be putting all the trust to him, not when you’re in the picture.

Especially not when you’re about to be confined in one space with no one else but him for god knows how long.

He didn’t even bat an eye when you slipped into the front seat of his car as he was in the middle of a conversation what you can assume would be Jaemin, blabbing something about some new pc game he got, so you strapped your seatbelt on quietly, not sure when would be the good time to thank him when you can’t even look at him in the eye.

“K, heading home. Talk later.”

He didn’t say anything either so you slowly fixed half of your attention to the road ahead of you and his one hand steering the wheel expertly, then gradually moved past that so you can finally glance up there, to his gorgeous side profile in which you admire a little.

He’s even more handsome this close, with his tall nose, perfect jawline and glowing fair skin — you thought you might have forgotten your words but you quickly look away, feeling the nervous energy course through your veins.

“No thank you?”

There was a slight tinge of tease in his tone, so you clear your throat, refusing to actually spare him another glance afraid that he might catch you looking more that you should have.

“Sorry… Just sad about the whole situation, but thank you for taking me in. I hope that’s okay with your parents…”

“Don’t worry.” He chuckled a little. “They’re in the Caribbean Islands right now. No one’s home.”

“Oh, that’s great.” You weren’t even sure if that offered some sort of relief on your end. “Always wanted to go there.”

“Maybe if you start hanging out with us more then I can take you there for the summer with the group?”

You think he might be joking, so you treat it as such, trying not to derail from what seemed like a pleasant conversation you two are actually having.

You knew your friend would be happy to hear the fact that you can actually get along just fine, but because of how you see Jeno and his friends in such a negative light, you’re not sure if you had the ability to stop being stubborn for once.

“Maybe.”

You sigh, now shifting your gaze to him again, noticing his muscular, yet lean upper body hugged by just one layer of his black turtle neck. You couldn’t help but to ogle a little, but you do look away, feeling the slight guilt creeping down your spine.

He’s literally one move away from dating your friend, so why do you find it so hard to look away? Not when there are more conventionally attractive guys in the group? Like Mark? Renjun?

I have eyes. I can look, that’s it. It won’t hurt.

“Oh, c’mon the more the merrier.” There was some sort of a drawl in his tone you couldn’t quite miss, but maybe you might have been imagining things. “Let’s see if I end up liking you enough though then maybe I’ll work so hard to drag you into the group and come with us to the Caribbean next summer vacation, yeah?”

Or were you really imagining things?

The first night wasn’t bad.

You learn that your friend wasn’t exaggerating when she did tell you he lives in a mansion.

There was a huge fountain in the middle of a private cul-de-sac, two mermaids made out of a slab of rock perched in right in the centre, flowing water trickling from the matching queen conches.

The gate was tall, and the impressive gigantic lot is nestled in what seemed like a canopy of endless tall pine trees. They literally had no neighbours close by and the entirety of the driveway was an actual boulevard, you think they could possibly fit another house over the area.

It felt like you entered a different dimension — the gated community of the rich didn’t feel real at all. Even the air felt expensive, and just when you thought that wasn’t enough, Jeno allowed you to spare a longing gaze to his two other fancy cars parked in a quadruple-door garage.

He did notice your obvious interest with the exterior of his cars so he lets you have your fun until you found yourselves darting inside his own floor which could pass as some sort of a penthouse.

You think he might not even see his parents even if they were in one house altogether halfway in. Hell, if there was party being hosted by him for two days in a row his parents won’t probably hear any of it.

“I have a spare room when the guys sleep over so you can stay there for now. Don’t think I’d have anyone over soon so you’re good.”

You stand in the middle of the spare room, checking the surroundings like some sort of a curious cat.

It was super neat, had some distinctive art pieces by the walls, but it did look like where they would hang out judging from the game consoles tucked into the black drawers under the gigantic screen tv and the mini fridge with a snack bar situated in a corner surrounded by neon lights.

“Thanks again, Jeno.”

You tell him as he leaned against the doorway, a pleasant expression on his face upon noticing the way you looked awestruck with the room arrangement.

“No probs. I’m just one door away so let me know if you need anything. Usually up until 1 am. My maid isn’t here she’s on vacay so just it’s just us two.”

“Sure.”

He left you alone like that, letting you bask at thought of him even having a maid. You think he might have an entire staff like a “head chef” running the house, but sooner or later you learn they’re all on vacation since they were all related which leaves you and Jeno all alone in such a big house, though despite that, you couldn’t help but feel the foreboding anxiety blaring through you like fire alarms.

There was an itch you couldn’t pinpoint and it drove you crazy the more you stayed over, and even if the first night went equally well like normal, you couldn’t help but feel some sort of guilt wrecking through you, so for the next two days you got in touch with Tony, the maintenance guy, in hopes to hear something positive about the situation back home so leave early.

Much to your demise, it won’t be until a few days so you gave up, trying to calm yourself down as you tucked yourself to bed right after doing your homework on your third night.

Your friend visited you a few hours before but since her and Jeno had plans for the night which involved the guys, Jeno might be coming home around dawn. You couldn’t help but feel the crash of relief to be finally alone for once which was bad for you to admit since you’re literally staying in his house for free, but having him there to share a space with made you feel too damn guarded and you hated that.

It wasn’t like he was watching you either — if anything, you’re the one who was doing more of that especially when you ate together after he offered to cook, and if he did order take-out, he asked what you wanted and delivered it right to your door just because you didn’t feel like going downstairs when you should’ve offered but upon finding out he was in the ground floor from their own home gym, you decided not to.

He didn’t even bother putting a shirt on when he knocked on your door, letting you see his bare abs through the wide split of the door so you were quiet thankful you didn’t make your way downstairs even when the damage has been done and it did nothing but make things worse for you.

“The passcode is the last four numbers of you number.”

He concluded as he gave you a quick rundown of instructions in terms of the security system.

You nodded obediently, quite touched at the fact that he made you your own designated password even if you’re only staying for a couple of days.

You weren’t friends with him yet, but he sure made things easier and was quite civilized the entire time, even putting all the trust in you to be in the house but the cams were all on so he can literally see what you would be up to unless you lock yourself in your room.

You follow closely behind him and your friend now holding hands with him as the three of you entered the garage. Your friend gave you a little pat on a head muttering a “good girl” in a light, teasing tone before they eventually drove away, leaving you by yourself for the next few hours.

You actually planned to do a mini tour and explore the other floors besides Jeno’s floor but because you didn’t want to end up falling to any “trap” doors (Jeno did mention that once as a joke but you didn’t want to risk it) you chose to stay in your room instead and watched movies on netflix with a plan to reheat the leftover pizza from last night.

Around midnight, you found yourself by the mini bar, wanting to try some of the alcohol he had so you pop a Hennessy from the glass shelf into a mug instead to pair with some sun chips to munch on at midst of a thriller movie you picked.

After downing what seemed to be a couple of glasses within the passing hours, you nursed an impending headache throbbing in your head. You could only curse, the thought of being completely hangover the next day already pissing you off.

You were more of a social drinker, but you think it’s been a while since the last time you attended a party and back then, it wasn’t so bad. You were still able to walk and say sentences incoherently after a few shots but this was worse.

You’re severely tipsy at this point, gaze all hazy as you attempt to shut the tv off, squinting over the rolling credits you can barely read off from.

You yank your crewneck over your head after feeling too hot, opting for just a mid-length slip as you tumbled out of your room, wanting to head to the bathroom with the sudden urge to splash some icy cold water on your face but you weren’t fully thinking as to where you were heading until you managed to somehow push into Jeno’s room, arms splayed in the dim-lit space.

You stumbled your way into his own bathroom adjacent to his bookcase, locking yourself in.

You were about to pass out inside, suddenly too sleepy to function but still made it out of there only to end up locating his equally large, yet better bed, his sheets cool under your skin which eased up the liquid fire running in your bloodstream.

You weren’t really sure what you did next, but the faint smell of his citrusy scent from his nice, cold sheets, you didn’t care about anything else and instead, slept through the great comfort of it all.

Unbeknownst of you, Jeno did end up going back home earlier than planned, but without your friend this time.

He was too exhausted to even notice that something was truly off by the time he got into bed, shirt off, sleep knocking him out a few minutes in.

“She won’t know.”

He placed your arms on the curve of your back as he pinned you to the wall in a hallway absent of any light.

You feel his sweet, minty breath on your nape, his strong hand tight around your wrists in a vice grip with the intention of not letting you go.

You were so breathless now, letting him do what he wished, his free hand tracing the outline of your thigh as he yanked the hem of your dress upwards, groping you from behind, whispering sinisterly in your ear before kissing the slant your shoulder, his hand snaking dangerously inside the silk fabric until he replaced your bra with his, playing with your breasts in a manner that drove you nuts.

“You’ve thought about this haven’t you?” He pressed, as you whimpered helplessly, back arched with your behind brushing against his. “Answer.”

“Y-yes…”

You sigh, unable to control the soft moan emitting from your throat when he eventually slid his hand in your underwear, callused fingers rubbing your clit now covered with pure arousal, spreading it all over your aching sensitivity.

“I didn’t even have to spit.” He hissed sardonically. “But I think you’ll like that, yeah? What do you think? Do you want me to spit on your pussy?”

“F-fuck… yeah…”

You feel him pull his fingers off you, causing you to whine at the loss of contact when you hear him spit behind you, immediately sliding his hand back into your soiled underwear after doing so, messily mixing the glob of his spit with your slick arousal you think if he kept this up, you would cum in no time without even having him fuck you at all.

“You’re disgusting…” He hummed in satisfaction, ultimately parting your pussy lips so he can pump a finger in, his lips leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses down your spine. “I like that.”

You hear him groan at the feeling your tight walls around his long, slender fingers, a series of swears rolling off your mouth when he began fingering you, fucking his spit into your throbbing hole all desperate for him and him only.

You rubbed your thighs together in a desperate attempt to itch the pulsating sensation between your legs, the bundle of nerves you eventually pressed on in your sleep made you whimper softly, the pleasurable feeling intensifying the more you rubbed yourself.

This was the second time Jeno had unmercilessly plagued your dreams again — like an incubus haunting you in your sleep, but in the end, he gives you what you desire — to come so hard you thought you’d black out.

You’ve never even drawn yourself to that type of high before you even knew who he was, but after what happened in the car, you couldn’t help but think of how good it would be to have him fuck you instead of your friend.

You did feel guilty for having this type of thoughts about your friend’s own boyfriend, but having him wreck havoc in your head after hours, was mind-numbing, it was almost addicting.

You’ve tried and fought so hard to stop thinking about him, trying to replace his face with someone else like Mark, or even Renjun or some other celebrity you fancied but when you’re just a minute away from reaching your peak, you can’t help but bring him back and let him take over you, his face alone making you come so hard your legs would shake as the raw lust mixed with shame riddled all over your skin.

Tonight was the same, except you were actually in his house and on his bed, touching yourself without any awareness about your surroundings and absolute care in the world, not when you had creeped your finger inside your now wet underwear, intending to finger yourself on your side, but before you could do that, you tucked yourself under the comforter seeking for warmth, back flat on the mattress as you slide your hand back in, moaning at the contact once again, legs propped with your knees bumping against each other as you played with yourself, eyes tightly shut.

“It hurts…” You whimpered lightly, still dreaming as you tilt your head to the side, brows furrowing in frustration. “I need…”

Jeno, who had been sleeping just right beside you, eventually stirred, turning to face you with a sigh, starting to be aware with the noises you were making but thought it was a part of what seemed like a dream for him too so he made no move until you inched closer and closer, now only one move away from touching him.

You’re facing him now, his familiar sweet scent elating your senses, it being the only thing to make you move faster, your middle finger playing with your growing wetness before you eventually slid it in, biting your lip at how tight you felt and wishing it was him doing it for you instead.

“Jeno…” You huff, you free hand snaking under your slip to grope your breast, hissing from how hard your nipples had gotten.

Jeno, now half-asleep, responded with a tired “hmm” as he hovered closer, his hand landing on your hip to pull you closer to him, sealing the small gap between the both of you with his face now resting on the curve of your shoulder.

He hears you purr sweetly, fingering yourself faster when you feel him lay a light kiss on your bare skin, his hand finding your jaw so he can tilt your chin up, kissing you there but deeper.

You didn’t even care anymore. No shame surging through you thinking this was a mere wet dream even if it felt too real, so real you could actually see him in the shadow but because the lights were so dim, you couldn’t make a face but his beautiful scent and warmth was more than enough.

You just needed to feel him, have him ruin you more just like how he does in your dreams.

“Aren’t you tired?” He whispered huskily, realizing you were fingering yourself when he circled his own around your wrist, stopping you. “What are you doing?”

“I want…” You mumbled, distress coating your tone when he yanked your hand from your underwear ever so gently. “I want to cum…”

“Want to?” he cooed, keeping his eyes close as he parted his lips open to suck your slick arousal from your fingers, earning another moan from you before he let you grab him on the shoulder, his own hand now snaking inside your underwear.

“Fuck, just-just put it in, please…” You begged, circling your arms around his neck as you lifted your leg, resting it on his hip.

You hear him hum, the deep rumble of it making your head go numb.

He wasted no time, pleased with your whines when he slid his finger inside your soaked pussy, fingering you slowly until you found yourself in a verge of breaking out of a sob, your knuckles turning white on his shoulder as he fucked you faster and harder at your request, fully attentive with the way you were squeezing him, sucking him further into your throbbing cunt, making him go crazy for how increasingly wet you’ve become.

“J-jeno!”

You half-screamed, back arching as he hovered on top of you, his head disappearing on the crook of your neck to kiss you right there before you feel his teeth bite the strap of your slip, yanking it down your shoulders.

He was going way faster now, fingers curving up to rammed on your sweet spot as you struggled under him, thighs closing tightly around his flexed arm just when you’re about to reach your peak.

“Don’t you want to come?” He smiled sleepily, sucking your left nipple with so much want it only drove you closer to your orgasm. “If you’re a good girl, you will, won’t you?”

It was scary how it feel too damn real — you could even hear him up close and personal and it was too overwhelming, but you couldn’t open your eyes, not wanting this dream to ever end, not when he’s about to make you cum so hard like this.

So you pushed through it, the lewd squelching of your wetness from him fucking into you the only thing you could hear, his equally pleased moans gracing your ears when you tell him you’re almost there.

“Fuck, fuck…fuck! I’m,” You cried, shaking violently as you finally snapped, hands flying on his in an attempt to stop him from fingering you in a brutal pace but he didn’t allow you.

Instead, he forced you to ride through it all as you cursed, head thrown back until you began sob from overdrive, thrashing and squirming under him only to make him pin your arms above your head, your slip pulled all the way to your neck, letting him feel your bare skin, your underwear being torn by him, tossing it on the marbled floors.

“I’m fucking you.” He growled, eyes parting slightly, unable to see you fully but the feeling of having you all naked and weak under him made him a little crazy. He wasn’t even sure if this was just a dream anymore, but he had his own personal desires needed to be taken care of. “You’ll let me, right?”

“Please…” You begged as he lifted your dress all the way to your face, turning it into a blindfold causing you to spread your legs wider for him, too aroused with the way he was trying to limit your senses. “Fuck… just do whatever you want, please…use..use me…”

“Can you even take me?” He smirked, tracing small kisses from your jaw all the way to your sternum as your breath hitched. “You’re this desperate, huh?”

You hear him unbuckle his belt as you begged, wanting him to give it to you already, afraid that this dream might come into an end.

“Please, Jeno…”

“Sounds better when you say it like that…”

He sighed, giving himself a few generous strokes before you felt the tip of his hard cock rub your pussy, giving you a few jabs before he slowly slipped inside you just halfway, wanting you to get used to his size so he waits for a tap which came just a few moments later, and gives it to you, a matching lustful moan being knocked out from yours and his.

“So b-big…”

You grabbed his biceps as he held his breath, trying his best not to fuck you like a wild animal for how amazingly tight and warm you felt around him, squeezing around him repeatedly, almost drawing him to the edge.

“Your pussy can take it…” He whispered, fucking into you slowly. “If I fuck you like this, you’ll take it…and if I go faster?”

“Ah!” You cried as he snapped his hips into you, the wetness of your pussy coating his entire cock, drawing him deeper into your cunt. “Don’t stop… fuck, f-fuck feels so good, so so good.”

“I know, baby…” He hissed vehemently, face buried into the crook of your neck as you let him fuck you faster, the slightly deep baritone of your tone intensifying the fact that he wants to ruin you, even if this wasn’t reality because god knows what he will do it had been, but for some reason, he didn’t felt any type of shame if this wasn’t a dream— just the carnal desire he felt for you, the girl who seemed to hate him for no valid reason.

You clutched the sheets as he pistons in and out of you, ultimately driving the both of you to each other’s peak.

He doesn’t let you touch him, his hand fixed to your wrists on top of your head as your jaw went slack, breath hitching as your legs trembled, alerting him that you were there.

“Fuck, spread your legs wider.” He demanded through gritted teeth, strong thighs stuttering against yours as you obediently did what he asked. “That’s it, pretty girl.”

It didn’t take long when the two of you finally came, you being the first to snap as he followed-through just a few seconds later, pulling out of you so he can cum on his bed sheet instead.

You immediately fell asleep right after, smiling through it all just like he did, the looming taste of regret awaiting to ruin everything in the morning.

Or would it?

You awoke to an unfamiliar bed, already panicking upon finding out you’ve been sleeping in his room the entire time so you quickly pad down the silent hall, disappearing inside your own room with a huff.

You ignore the throbbing headache in your head as sat on your bed, a little shaken and not knowing to go about explaining what just happened if he was aware of it, but you think he’s not even home or if he was, did he end up sleeping elsewhere?

You grabbed your crewneck and fixed yourself in front of the mirror, about to head downstairs and find him when you feel something odd, so you lift the hem of your dress, discovering that you didn’t even have an underwear on.

The memory of him taking it off you haunted your train of thought — last night felt too raw, too real and you think it maybe because you’re starting to be delusional, using the advantage of staying in his house and touch his stuff that weren’t yours.

You assume this might have catered to it all and you weren’t even sure if that’s something to be happy or angry about.

You figured it wasn’t — in fact, it was too wrong and you wanted out so you immediately text Tony for an update before heading downstairs to find Jeno.

Jeno, you learn, was not alone.

It was a Saturday after all, and he happens to be on the phone by the living room, his full attention watching the glowing fireplace in front of him, energy drink on-hand as your friend darted from the kitchen, immediately seeing you.

“Oh, she’s up!” She announced, running to hug you with a beam. “Jina and I are going to get our nails done and she’s picking me up, you wanna come?”

“Oh, um… that’s okay.” You falter as Jeno turned to look at you, gaze unreadable. “I’m leaving soon anyway, like going back to my place.”

“Oh! Well maybe next time? Jeno is leaving soon too but won’t be dropping me off. Jeno, help her okay?”

You avoid the way he’s looking at you now, quite embarrassed with the fact that you literally just slept in his bed and even dreamed of him fucking you. You just hoped he had no idea, and if he did know, you knew you couldn’t bear to show face any longer.

“I’ll plan us another date. Just you and I. I promise!”

You let your friend drag you to the entrance and albeit dazed from the unholy thoughts you were suddenly having about Jeno, you managed to brush it off and watch your friend leave, waving her a small good-bye, the guilt surging through you once again after seeing her.

You were just about to lock the door when you feel him hover behind you, the hairs on the back of your neck raising at the sound of his deep voice invading your cloud of thoughts.

“I’m gone for one night and you’re suddenly touching stuff that aren’t yours?”

So he did know. But does he know?

“I’m sorry…” You exhale, sighing regretfully but refused to look at him in the eye. “Got a little drunk then looked for the bathroom—“

“See… that wasn’t the only thing I’m upset about though.”

You gulped as you feel him walk closer so you slowly back away, the shocked gasp leaving your lips as you feel the pressure of the door behind you, him towering over you now.

“What?”

“Do you know what I’m talking about?” He questioned, a little on edge. “Don’t act dumb now.”

“I said I was drunk and I’m sorry.” You apologized sincerely, the overwhelming silence skyrocketing your anxiety. “If there was any damage—”

“No, that’s not…” You hear him chuckle as he drove his hand to the door, cornering you like a predator, but you remain still, stopping yourself from looking up or it was going to over. “Do I have to explain?”

“I don’t…”

“You don’t care about your friend, do you?”

Your eyes rounded in shock, immediately tilting your chin up so you can look at him in the eye this time, suddenly angry at his accusation.

“What made you say that?” You snapped, watching him shake his head in amusement but you weren’t buying it. “Jeno.”

“You’re something else.” He whispered softly, eyes searching something in yours before you feel him inch closer to your ear, his lips brushing across the shell of your ear. “You’re insane. Has anyone ever told you that?”

“Jeno, what the fuck?”

You pushed him off you but he could only laugh, head tilting to the side, a smirk now evident on his face.

He was too handsome, it almost drove you nuts if it wasn’t for the way he just insulted you.

“Guess I’d be the first but don’t worry, I’m not that angry, you know?”

You clenched your jaw, watching him advance to you again with an intent to pin you against the door.

“You’re full of shit. I don’t even know what the hell you’re talking about when all I’ve done is —”

“We fucked.” He sighed, reeling closer when you clamped your mouth shut, looking away from him. “Why, you thought you were dreaming?”

“You’re joking.”

“See, I’d like to think I was. The whole time I thought the same until I find you in my bed in the morning.”

You faltered, unable to think straight when you feel him trace the outline of your jaw, grabbing you by the chin gently to make you shift your attention back to him.

“Jeno.”

“You said my name too. Just like this.” His darkened gaze pierced yours, pupils blown. “You like me that much?”

“We can’t do this.” You grab his wrist, pushing him away with a huff. “It was a mistake!”

“I’d like to think the same but for some reason…” He took another step, completely caging you in just like you were always meant to be for him. “You’re fucking everything up.”

“How is that my fault —”

“You should’ve pursued me first, that’s all.”

Your eyes widen as he cradled your face, drawing you completely speechless.

Turns out, he was crazier, even more sinister with the way he’s touching you so inappropriately right now you feel like pushing him off and running out to escape but you simply couldn’t. You knew you wanted him too even if you shouldn’t.

Not when the damage has already been done, and you’ve opened a pandora box, unleashing his hidden desires on board with yours, the sinful thoughts you’ve been trying so hard to seal away for no one to figure out.

“You don’t give a fuck about her?” You swallowed a lump in your throat, a pained expression on your face as he kept up with his ministrations, his hand now holding yours. “Why are you touching me…”

“I like you.” He confesses with a shrug like it was something so simple to do, his piercing gaze meeting yours again. “You think I’m into your friend?”

“You’re sick.”

You say through gritted teeth, raw anger still there but the more you allowed him to stare you down like this, the more it dissipated. The desperate hold you had around it vanishing to thin air.

“And you think you’re not?”

There was that same fiery edge to his tone now, his grip around your hand tightening. You try to break free from his grasp until you hear his phone ring. You were just about to use that as way to completely push him away, but he cut you off, demanding you to stay still.

“We’re not done.”

You watch him answer the call, fear on your eyes when you discovered it as your friend asking if he could pass the phone over to you just because you weren’t answering yours.

“Talk to her.” He demanded, his stern tone sending shivers all over your body when you placed his phone near your ear.

“Hey,” You greeted your friend, trying to sound as normal as you could before shying away from the way Jeno’s eyeing you right now. “Was in the shower. What’s up?”

You let your friend take-over, asking if you wanted anything from a specific shop near the nail salon she was in and had been trying so hard to get your mind out of the gutter for the past minute that seemed to flow by in forever. You found yourself stuck in the middle — part of you wanted to tell her about what you did just like that no matter what the consequences were but the other half simply haunted you, did you really want to stop? When the guilt should be burning you alive right now but for some reason, you hardly felt anything and you weren’t sure what to make of that.

“You don’t care about your friend, do you?”

“The one with stars is cute but you don’t have to— it’s okay,” You shook your head, completely missing the fact that Jeno had gotten even closer. You catch on to him before he lowers his head to the side of your face, about to murmur something.

“Stop.” With the phone away from your lips, you attempt to get away but he only holds you still, hand fixed to the curve of your waist. “Jeno—”

“Just tell me the details later!” Your friend squealed over the phone. “And tell Jeno to read my text!”

The call ended just before you could utter something but the phone from your hand was snatched away in a millisecond, suddenly finding yourself gasping when Jeno placed his knee in between your thighs, feeling you up with his clothed knee, his hand now groping your breast.

“Quit it, won’t you?” You bit your lip, hand fisting his top as he placed an open-mouthed kiss on your collarbone. “You want to run away so bad but I can see it in your eyes. You want this as much as I do so don’t lie to yourself.”

“Jeno, stop,” You begged, arousal already pulling in your underwear when he forced you to grind down on his thigh, holding all your weight up alone with just that alone. “Jeno…”

“I’ll let you go f that’s what you want.” He grunted as you began to grind on him, growing more aroused with the way you were whining, struggling on his thigh. He challenged you, even if he knew you wouldn’t be able to resist all of this.

Resist him.

You whimpered as he removed his thigh between your legs, letting you off but you don’t make a move.

“You want to go?” You could only gaze back at him, completely in trance as he grinned down at you, his sardonic expression reeling you in. “Then go.”

It didn’t take long until you finally snapped altogether, crashing yourself to him to latch your lips on his in sheer frustration, an audible groan coming from him as he nibbled your bottom lip, lifting you up, hands all over your body.

Sooner or later, you found yourselves in bed, having to have exhausted each other but there were no words shared after it all.

You weren’t even sure what to do next as you laid there beside him, watching him sleep on his back, head turned away from yours. It was then you felt your heart crumble into pieces, the immense jolt of pain suddenly waking you up from trance.

Do I really want to do this?

You left the next morning just like that, not wanting to pursue this wrong deed at all, and without a word other as you hailed a taxi. You deleted and blocked his phone number and made a plan to somehow try to avoid him and your friend for the next few months, but it wasn’t simple like that, and yet, you tried to stay away.

For the next six months, it was like that — with you and your friend slowly falling apart because you no longer shared classes for second semester and you made no amends to even see or spend time with her, having to have met other friends you shared classes with and then her, with the boys and their girls.

You were also thankful of Jeno not pursuing anything with you too. You barely saw him around due to the fact that he did sign up for more sport-related activities so naturally, he disappeared from your sight. He must have thought that it was clearly a mistake just like you did, and you fought to repent for your sins and you wished he did too.

You didn’t keep track about anything that had to do with them anymore and decided to focus on your studies like you’ve always had from the beginning to prepare yourself for graduation and university requirements. Your great efforts did pay off in the end, having to graduate with almost on top of all your classes and getting into one of your top three universities.

Life seemed great for you — quite elated for the next journey you’re bound to go on for the next two years now that senior year was over and so was the evening dinner you had to attend because it was mandatory despite wanting to opt out of it but you made sure to leave early as you had no plans to sit in the fancy banquet of a five-star hotel and “get entertained” when everyone either sat around to chill or lose themselves in the dimmed down dance floor.

By 11 pm, you bid your goodbyes to a panel of teachers, one of them being your favourite, just in the next room in the hall, then gunned down to the parking lot where you parked your car.

You dug your keys in your purse, humming to yourself when you spot someone’s slick black shoes right next to your car so you stop and blink, shifting your attention the wide plain of his familiar broad back, his white dress shirt being the only article of clothing he has on with some tailored black plants that probably cost five months worth of rent.

“Jeno.”

“Nice ride you got.” He drew the cigarette away from his lips, grey smoke hitting your face as you slowly took a step back, unable to form any coherent sentence upon realizing that he’s standing before you now. “New model too. Gift, maybe?”

You do know you’ve been trying to avoid him.

As much as you tried however, he was there, always in a crowd and you never missed a handsome face like his. He burned in the back of your head so easily, but it was too difficult to get him out no matter how many distractions you could come with, and even if most of it worked in your favour he still lived inside your head like a parasite.

A parasite you may never end up getting rid of.

“I’m going home.” Was all you said, trying to stay stoic and unaffected as he advanced to you, even more irresistable now that he’s worked out more and grew his hair a little longer, a strand from his gelled back fringe curving on his forehead and it did nothing but clench your jaw.

He was just too handsome, you were close to believing no one would be able to resist him at all, not even the new arm candy he brought as a date to dinner since your he has apparently broken up with your friend a month before graduation due to a sudden drastic change in her family’s living situation.

You soon find out she was never coming back, and apparently “long distance relationships” wasn’t Jeno’s thing.

“This early?”

There was a coy smirk on his face, cigarette resting between his lips. You stood there, liking the smell, reminding you of your father back home so naturally, you stayed where you are, feet starting to hurt from the five inch heels you regretfully wore to dinner.

“Yeah, I have work the next morning.”

He’s one step away from you now, his full attention scanning your red dress from head to toe, liking the tight fit around your soft curves. You try to stand your ground anyway, albeit about to burst into shivers from the way he narrowed his eyes to you now, blowing another puff of grey you ended up inhaling into your system as well for how damn close he’s gotten, invading your comfort zone.

“That’s a shame.” He circled around you like some sort of a predator, but without touching you until you feel him stop just inches away, his hard chest brushing against your back. “Well go on, your car is right there.”

Your breath hitched as you began to walk to your car, unlocking the back door to throw your purse into with a slam. You don’t say anything as you placed your hand on the handle, chewing on your lips as he quirked an eyebrow, wanting to know what seemed to make you look a little stressed and all tensed up.

“Your date.” You slowly met his amused gaze. “How long?”

“Didn’t sleep with her if that’s what you were wondering.” You didn’t even want to lie — the wave of relief crashed through you, engulfing you in so you let go of the handle and headed to him, letting your burning desire drag you all the way to his arms as he pulled you into a suffocating embrace. “I knew you couldn’t resist me.”

Jeno flung his cigarette off his lips to kiss you hungrily causing you to moan in his mouth, tasting the peppermint candy he’s had and the slight bitterness from the cigarette but you didn’t care.

You didn’t care until he threw you in your backseat, ripping your underwear off you so easily and gave it to you right there and then, until you were in a verge of tears, unable to think straight as you moaned his name all over again like some sort of a mantra, dragging the both of you into eternal hell.

And to hell with him it is.

#jeno x reader #nct jeno smut #jeno smut #jeno x you #nct dream smut #nct smut #kpop smut #lee jeno smut #one shot smut #killshotbabe

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multific · 1 year

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Flames of Love

Vincent de Gramont x Reader

Summary: Your marriage has gone cold, and you don’t know how to reignite the flames.

Every time you looked at him, it was as if he was a different man.

He used to look at you with such adoration and love. One could be fooled if that even happened.

Now, Vincent looks at you as if you were not even there. Looks right through you. Most of the time, he ignores you.

You never thought marriage with him would be like this. He promised you love and care and yet here he was, not even talking to you. Barely a year into your marriage.

And you weren't even sure how it started.

Was it the wedding? John Wick? Winston? Did you do something? Did he find someone else? Did he grow tired of you? You weren't sure.

You tried to catch his attention, more than once. You wore dresses he liked, you often went to bed wearing nice things. You desperately tried to impress him. One time even walked into his office at night barely wearing anything and all he had to say was, 'You will catch a cold.' before he returned to his papers.

Sure, being a member of the High Table was a difficult and busy task. But this was no way to treat you.

As your anniversary approached, you thought about this all. About your relationship before, about it now, about the High Table and the changes in his job.

On your anniversary, you wore a nice red dress as you sat at the dining table and ate alone.

He arrived just as you finished your main course.

He took a look at you before turning to the bedroom. And you had enough.

Busy job or not, you won't do this anymore.

You followed him and found him in the bedroom, getting ready for a shower.

"Happy Anniversary Vincent." you said as you leaned against the door frame. He didn't even turn to look at you or said a word, he just nodded once. "Your gift will be on your table tomorrow, you will just have to sign at the bottom." this got his attention as he looked at you, confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh! He talks! So, I'm not invisible! Divorce papers my dear."

"Divorce?"

"Of course. I refuse to stay in a marriage where I'm being ignored most of the time."

"I'm a busy man."

"And I would understand that. But you were busy before we got married. Yet, you still found time to at least tell me that you were sorry when a date got cancelled or something!"

"I'm not signing your papers. We are not getting a divorce."

"You failed as a husband. It might be hard for you to accept. But you did. You failed because I would have understood if you told me that you were busy, but you ignored me."

"You have no idea how much I work. You don't do anything all day."

"You asked me to stop working. You did so you could take care of me and have me closer. That is what you said, Vincent. So, for you to throw it at me right now..."

"We are not getting a divorce."

"Okay, fine."

"When did you take your ring off?" he asked as he only now noticed the two rings missing from your finger.

"I sent you a text today, asking you to have dinner with me. Now I know you are good with dates so you must have known what day it is. And yet, when you arrived home, you just ignored me."

"Why did you take your ring off?"

"Because I am not treated as your wife, why should I be your wife then?"

With that, you turned to leave.

Avoiding him at all costs and in the morning, you got on a plane and left for Italy to visit an old friend.

"Bella!" the man yelled as you stepped out of the car. "Beautiful as ever."

"Santino, thank you very much." you smiled as he walked over to you and kissed you on the cheeks.

"Truly beautiful. Where is that husband of yours?"

"He was too busy, so he couldn't come."

"Oh, trouble in paradise, I see." you wanted to roll your eyes at him but he quickly grabbed you and guided you into his beautiful home.

Santino was truly a joy to be around. As much as people hated him, he was a great friend of yours who always made you laugh.

He wanted you to marry him. Asked you many times but you always refused. You knew you didn't love him like that.

At dinner, he talked about his newest achievements, since he didn't have anyone to talk to, he was happy to see you.

"The last time I saw you, Bella. You were glowing. And now... you look sad."

"Last time you saw me it was on my wedding day."

"Has he been treating you well?" you giggled remembering his threat towards Vincent on your wedding.

"I would say he hasn't been treating me at all. He mostly just ignores me."

"French..." he made a face. "I hope it gets fixed for you, Bella. You deserve happiness."

"Thank you." you smiled at him as dessert was brought out.

---

It was your fifth day in Santino's gorgeous palace. There was just something about the air in Italy.

You sat out in the garden enjoying the sun and the amazing view.

Suddenly the chair next to yours was pulled out as someone sat down. You thought it was Santino but no, you turned and in fact, it was Vincent.

He was looking at you as your eyes met before you looked away from him.

"I hope you came to give me the signed papers." you said after a couple minutes.

"I'm not signing them, I love you." you made a face at that.

"You don't shut out people you love."

"I'm not like other people. I'm messed up, you knew that. I shut you out and focused on my new tasks. I worked too hard to lose my place in the High Table. It was as if I had to choose."

"And you did. You chose power."

"And now, I'm choosing you."

You let out a sigh.

"I know I failed. What you said was true. I failed you as a husband after I promised you I won't. My reason was that I finally got the power and respect I craved for and I didn't want to lose it. I took you for granted when I shouldn't have."

"It doesn't matter anymore."

"To me, it does. I don't want to lose you."

"I need time to think. It is why I came here in the first place."

Silence filled the air. You only heard the wind blowing the trees and the birds.

"Do you love him?" his voice was barely audible. It could have fooled you. You honestly thought he didn't say anything but you looked at him, only to find him looking back at you.

"Santino?"

"Yes, do you love him?"

"He's my friend, he has always been."

"He loves you. He nearly shot me when I told him I want to see you."

"I don't love him. He is a friend."

"He protected you the way I should have. He provided for you the way I should have. I'm sorry. Truly sorry for failing."

"I need time to think." he nodded before standing up.

"Call me when you are ready."

You watched him as he left.

You felt like a piece of your heart left with him.

---

It honestly took you three days to fully think about everything.

You understood his reason, you could also see the regret in his eyes. He hurt you and yet, you still loved him deeply.

Somehow you were ready to forgive him.

You texted him the next morning.

You were in Santino's living room when Vicent arrived.

"Bella, if you need anything, let me know." Santino said before giving one last look to Vincent as he walked towards his office.

Vincent walked over to you, sitting down on the couch.

"You know that I love you. But I'm not going to forgive you all the time. I'm willing to give you another chance, but you have to talk to me. Don't lock me out and be the proud man that you are. It's okay to have insecurities it's okay to say if something is too much. I'm there for you to talk to. So, please, Vincent." he nodded as he grabbed your hand placing a kiss on the back of your hand. He smiled as he noticed the ring on your finger.

"Thank you. Truly. I promise I'll be better, Mon Amour."

You let out a sigh as he kissed your hand one more time.

You knew you were a fool for him. But you also could see the determination in his eyes.

He leaned over to kiss your lips.

...

Santiago watched the whole scene play out in his living room on the laptop.

He knew you would always choose Vincent, so he wasn't surprised.

But when Vincent's hand moved a bit too low for his liking, he barged out of the office, cursing in Italian.

"Not on my couch!" he yelled which caused you to giggle.

Taglist: @fleursirvart @greenarrowhead @thisismysecrethappyplace @sincerelyfan @theoneanna @aestheticsandmarvel @rororo06 @castellandiangelo @destynelseclipsa @spilledinkindumpster @capsiclesdoll @puknow @alwayshave-faith @alex12948 @lxdyred @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl @anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek @praline357 @trshngyn @avengers-r-us @violet-19999 @top1bbgloak @manduse @jacalineiscomingforyou

Vincent Taglist: @l4venderia

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE OR PLAGARIZE ANY OF MY WORKS

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dean-winchester-is-a-warrior · 4 months

Text

The Breaking Point

This fic is a sequel to To Be His Good Girl

Edit: I've removed my SPN kink Event bingo card, because I was reminded that Soldier Boy isn't part of SPN. 🤦‍♀️ The story hasn't changed at all.

Summary: Y/N has been acting up for days, and she won't explain herself to Ben. He may just reach his breaking point.

Warnings/Explicit 18+: Smut. Pretty filthy smut. BDSM. Dom/sub. Dom Ben (Soldier Boy). Sub Reader. Disobedient Reader. Crying Reader. Lots of talk of punishments and discipline. Spanking. Paddling. Pussy Spanking. Mentions of Caning (breasts). Slight Bondage. Intense pain as pleasure dynamics. Light Fingering mentioned. Sir!kink.

Pairings: Soldier Boy (Ben) x Reader

Word Count: 3,925

A/N: Okay, so "To Be His Good Girl" was supposed to be a one and done fic. However, I've had a few requests to carry on the story, and then I found the above bingo card, and I thought it fit into Ben and Y/N's story pretty well. There is a third part to this little story. It's called, "When is it Enough?" and it will be out on Wednesday, January 10. It will fill my BDSM square for the above card. Hope you enjoy, and I know this story won't be for everyone, so PLEASE heed the warnings. ❤️

The dividers used here are created by @silkholland

Y/N and Ben moved in together not long after her first round of discipline. They spent a lot of time in the first month testing boundaries, pushing Y/N’s limits of what she could take. Ben was amazed by her constantly. They had regular discipline sessions, where he would test her and push her to see if she would continue to obey him no matter what, and she almost always did. When she failed his tests, she took her punishments well. Even if she was being punished for purposely acting bratty, which had only happened a handful of times - mostly just to get a rise out of him - she quickly became remorseful when he corrected her behavior.

Their discipline sessions had never failed to leave both of them sated and happy.

Then one random Tuesday, four months into living together, Ben came home to find Y/N completely withdrawn. He thought maybe she was just hormonal, as women tended to be once a month, and he let the attitude slide for a day or so. When she didn’t improve, he threatened her, promising her if she didn’t smarten up, he’d make sure she couldn’t sit down for a week. The effectiveness of the threat barely lasted the day however, and by the next morning, she was back to grouching and sulking around the apartment.

Ben awoke that morning as he felt her shifting out of his arms and getting up. Then he heard her growl angrily as she stubbed her toe on the bedside table. “Piece of shit.” She grumbled to herself as she fell back to the mattress she’d just risen from. He reached out to rub her back but she stood up again, pulling away.

“Hey.” Ben said, voice still croaky with sleep. “What’s wrong?”

Y/N just shook her head. “Nothing, I’m just running late.” She told him, and she rushed out of their room to shower.

When she came back to the room, wrapped in a towel, Ben was gone, and she sat at her vanity and brushed her wet hair, shivering as cold droplets of water dripped from the ends. She glanced in the mirror and then quickly away. She didn’t really want to look at herself at the moment.

Ben came back into the room with a tray of delicious smelling food. Y/N frowned. “You cooked?”

He snorted at the ridiculous question. “Of course not, I got the doorman to order us breakfast from Santino’s.”

Y/N nodded, but her frown stayed in place. “You know, that’s not really his job.” She said, voice chiding.

Ben looked at her for a minute. “Well I tipped him a hundred dollar bill, so I don’t think he minded.” He shook his head. “What’s going on with you? You’ve been in this mood for days and I’m getting fucking sick of it.”

Y/N shrugged and mumbled. “Sorry.”

Ben set down the tray and caught her wrist as she stood up from the bench. “No, I mean it now, seriously Y/N, what’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing. I told you. Jesus, just fucking drop it.” She barked at him.

Ben’s scowl darkened and he quickly sat down on the bench she’d just vacated, yanking her across his lap. He pushed her towel up so her bare ass was exposed, swiftly cracking his palm down onto her damp skin.

Y/N screeched and fought against his hold. But he subdued her easily and delivered five more blows. “Explain your attitude right now.” He demanded.

Y/N sniffled. “I’m sorry, sir. I’m just…I've just been sleeping badly.”

Ben turned her in his arms so he was cradling her. “Yeah, I noticed. What’s causing the bad sleep?”

Y/N just shrugged and wiped her nose. “I dunno.” She said in a small voice.

Ben knew she was lying, but she looked up at him with her big, sad eyes. “I’m really sorry, B-, I mean, sir. I’ll behave myself, I promise.”

He knew he was being too soft with her; the attitude she’d been giving him for days now demanded punishment. But he found himself reluctant. He knew she was hiding something from him. She’d been fine on Tuesday morning when he left for the Tower - her usual sweet, bubbly, occasionally precocious self - but when he returned that evening she’d been moody and closed off.

This brief spanking was the only consequence he’d doled out so far even though she’d been snapping at him and unresponsive for days. He contemplated flipping her back over and continuing the spanking, but her jutting bottom lip and watery eyes worked far too well on him and he sighed and stood her up beside the bench.

“Get into bed, eat some food, and then get some more sleep.” He ordered.

“Yes, sir.” She said, obeying reluctantly.

But over the next two days nothing really improved. She wasn’t snapping at him as often, but she was still quiet and subdued. Ben tried a few times to distract her, kissing her and touching her gently, but though she never denied him, her responses were far from passionate and Ben wasn’t about to force her to sleep with him.

Finally, nearly a week after her moodiness had begun, she pushed Ben a step too far, and he realized he had no choice but to take action, for her sake.

They were eating dinner and Y/N started to pour a cup of coffee to have with dessert. But Ben stopped her. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be drinking coffee so late in the evening. You’re having a hard enough time sleeping as it is.”

She shrugged. “I’ll be fine.” She said as she poured herself a cup from the carafe on the table.

“Y/N, I said no.” His voice was firm, but she just ignored him and took a deep gulp of coffee.

He grabbed onto her wrist to stop her drinking more. “Did you hear me?”

Y/N yanked her arm out of his grasp, her face thunderous, temper ignited. “I heard you, but why do you fucking care?” Y/N screeched. She threw the cup of hot coffee at him and it smashed against the arm he held up in front of his face just in time.

As he lowered his arm he saw Y/N’s jaw drop, almost as though she was unable to believe what she’d just done. “Ben, oh god, I don’t…” She trailed off, her hands covering her mouth.

Ben brushed away the chips of pottery that clung to his shirt from the smashed mug. His voice was ice when he spoke.

“Get into that fucking bedroom, and get into position. Right fucking now.”

“Ben -”

“Now!” He bellowed and Y/N bolted out of the room.

Ben bent to pick up all the broken pieces of the cup and sank into his chair. He shook his head; she’d left him no choice.

***

Y/N sat on her knees in her bra and panties, head bowed, waiting for Ben to come dole out punishment. She knew she deserved whatever she got. She couldn’t believe it had taken him this long to correct her behavior. She knew she was being insufferable and incredibly disobedient. But she couldn’t pull herself out of this place she’d sunk after the phone call on Tuesday morning.

Ben walked in and Y/N’s breathing picked up. He came to stand directly in front of her but she kept her head lowered until he spoke.

“Look at me.”

Y/N looked up and the unrelenting anger on his face made her shiver. He was dressed in his green super suit as he always was when he was disciplining her.

“Obviously,” he started, “I’ve been far too lenient with you this week. I was hoping that little spanking the other day would be enough to straighten you out, but I was very wrong. So now…it’s clearly time for something more severe.”

He walked away but Y/N didn’t let her eyes follow him, dropping her gaze back to the ground. She could hear him moving things around in their closet and knew he was digging out the instruments of her punishment. She heard the snap of a leather belt and closed her eyes.

After five minutes of silence Ben returned to stand in front of her and tilted her chin up so she was looking at him again. “My over-the-knee spanking clearly wasn’t enough to set you straight, so I’ll have to try a little harder.”

He snapped his fingers and she knew that was her cue to stand. “Bend over the end of the desk, arms out to the sides. Hold on.”

Y/N did as she was told. From behind her, Ben continued explaining.

“I’m going to spank you in three different ways. There's power in threes, it really drives home a point. First, I'll use a wooden paddle on your ass. Then, my leather belt on your pussy, and lastly, a cane to your tits.”

Y/N felt her breath kick up and fear lodge in her throat.

“You will receive a total of sixty strokes. Thirty with the paddle, twenty with the belt, and ten with the cane.”

Y/N’s stomach flip-flopped. “Sir, please…” she began, but Ben cut her off.

“And since you seem to enjoy quiet so much this week, you will take every single stroke without making a sound.”

Y/N’s eyes widened and she looked over her shoulder, “Sir I-”

“Starting this second!” Ben barked out, immediately silencing her. “Face front.” He ordered and she swung her head back to face the door of the bedroom.

“I mean it, you disobedient little brat. I don’t want to hear a single word from you, not a whimper. If you cry, you'll do so silently.” He leaned close to her ear and growled his warning. “You disobey me again and you will regret it. Do you understand? You may speak to answer.”

“Yes, sir.” Y/N said, almost breathless.

“What will be the one exception to my rule of silence?”

“Belgium.” Y/N answered in a whisper, stating her safe word.

“That’s right.”

He straightened up and moved away to get the paddle. “Now, you’ve been paddled once before,” he said from across the room, “that time you came home late and didn’t call. But that was only ten strokes. No doubt, this will make a bigger impression.”

She heard him move into position behind her and then heard the familiar sound of the heavy wooden board whistling through the air before landing with a hard thwack on her ass; her white cotton panties offered very little protection and she bit down on her lip to stop from crying out.

“One.” Ben counted.

Once again the paddle whooshed through the air before it smacked hard against her ass, the sound of pine hitting skin reaching her ears just before the burning pain spread out across her ass cheeks.

“Two.”

And on he continued, spreading the blows across her whole ass, along with a few to the very tops of her thighs.

After the fifteenth blow, Ben stepped back and admired the red he could see blooming just under the bottom of her panties. The red of the spanking contrasted with the white cotton very nicely.

After giving her ass a moment’s break Ben gave his order. “Take your panties down. Leave them just at the top of your thighs.” He instructed not wanting to lose the pretty color contrast.

Y/N shifted painfully and pushed at her panties until they were down over her ass and framing her cheeks.

When he started in again Ben targeted the thickest part of her ass, just above her thighs. He maneuvered the paddle in an upswing and landed an incredibly stinging blow, making her flesh jiggle.

“Sixteen.”

After twenty strokes, the heat was radiating off of her ass like an oven. The apples of her ass cheeks were stained purple and red, thick welts decorating her soft skin. Ben could see her shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

But he hardened his resolve and delivered the last ten strokes, the impact so hard that he raised her feet off the ground with every blow.

“Thirty.” He said as the last one landed. He moved away to set down the paddle and then came back to rub his hands across her bruised and battered ass.

“All of this could have been avoided, kitten, we could have been having a much more pleasant evening if you hadn't decided to act like such an unbearable brat all fucking week.”

Y/N nodded, remaining silent, and Ben sighed. “Stand up. Pull up your panties.”

She obeyed and when she moved to face him, Ben saw the pain that spasmed across her face and he wiped away some of the tears that still fell. “That’s gonna hurt a long time, baby. You’re probably gonna wear this lesson on your skin for a week or more.”

Y/N lowered her gaze and Ben recognized her look of true contrition. He tipped her chin up. “You may speak. Tell me what’s going on in your head. Why are you being so disrespectful?”

But though she had permission, she remained silent, merely shrugging and shaking her head.

Ben sighed again, more frustrated than ever. He shook his head and spoke with firm resolve. “Okay, you need more pain to remind you who you answer to, I guess.” He pointed angrily at the bed. “Lay down flat on your back, with your ass at the very foot of the bed.”

Y/N complied immediately. When she was laying flat, grimacing from the pain of the pressure on her abused ass, Ben approached, holding a rope, and grabbed her right ankle. He raised it high in the air and spread it out wide, strapping it to the bedpost tightly. He repeated the action with her left leg so she was stretched wide open, her cunt on full display.

Ben moved to the table where Y/N could now see he had his implements laid out. He picked up a particularly thick leather belt and brought it over to where she lay.

“Okay, kitten, same rules. Keep your mouth shut, or you’ll regret it. Belgium is there for you to use, always.”

Y/N nodded and closed her eyes, biting her lip. She’d had her pussy whipped a few times, but it was never more than a few strokes and even then the pain had been incredibly intense. At least these strokes weren’t going directly onto her clit.

But as Ben brought the leather down to crack against the incredibly delicate skin of her pussy, it didn't feel like much of a difference. She raised her hips off the bed in an instinctive need to get rid of the sting. Again her thin cotton panties were no barrier as Ben rained fire down onto her cunt.

“One.” He stated in a firm voice and Y/N wanted to weep at the idea of starting the pain over at one.

As Ben continued the punishment at a slow but steady pace, Y/N considered using her word and making him stop so she could spill her heart out to him, and try to make sense of the pain that had been sitting in her gut for a week, pain that stung almost as much as the blows landing on her skin.

But she was ashamed, she felt worthless, and she realized in that moment that she’d been egging Ben on all week, practically begging to be punished. She wanted to feel this pain, she couldn’t articulate her other pain, but this she could understand. She knew how to take this - this pain obscured the rest.

“Ten.” Ben called out with the latest blow. She knew what was coming before it happened as he set down the belt beside her head. He grabbed hold of her panties and shredded them as he ripped them from her body.

He looked down and clicked his tongue. “Jesus Christ, baby.” He pushed a finger through the dripping slick that glistened on her reddened pussy lips. “This is a punishment. You are not supposed to be getting off on it.”

Y/N felt her cheeks flush. She couldn’t help the way her body responded to Ben’s punishments. The pain never failed to blossom into heat that swept through her whole body and made her pussy weep.

Ben tutted again before picking up the belt to continue. The next blow landed on her bare pussy and the agonizing, fiery sting made her bite her lip till it bled to stop from making a noise.

“Eleven.”

By the time he reached nineteen, Y/N had also curled her hands into such tight fists that there were crescent moons cut into her palms from her fingernails. And then he brought down the last stroke and it landed so hard that a short squeal burst out of Y/N's throat despite everything she was doing to keep silent.

Ben dropped his arm to his side and Y/N could hear the actual disappointment in his voice when he spoke; it made her want to cry.

“You are just determined to disobey me over and over. I thought you were my good girl. What's happened to my good girl, huh?”

Y/N pushed up on her elbows so she could see Ben's face. She opened her mouth and then closed it.

“Speak.” Ben said briskly.

“I didn't mean to sir. I'm so sorry. I'm trying to be your good girl. Please don’t hate me too.”

The words just slipped out of her and she hadn’t even known they were there.

Ben’s face darkened. “What are you talking about?” He asked. “Who said anything about hating you? I’m just disappointed. Disappointed that you’ve been disobeying me over and over, and yes, angry at your disrespect.”

He ran a soothing hand over her raw pussy, pushing his middle finger into her slick folds to tease her clit. Y/N gasped and then met Ben’s gaze and saw the truth in his bright, beautiful green eyes as he spoke.

“But Y/N, I discipline you because I care about you, so that you know I care about what we mean to each other, about our roles in this relationship. I punish you because I care about how you conduct yourself. And sometimes I discipline you with pain because I know you crave it, crave the release of it.”

Tears streamed down Y/N’s face as she realized just how right he was. She had been craving the release of pain, the release of the pain that sat unmoving in her heart. All week since the phone call with her father she’d been down, heartbroken and feeling worthless.

It had been almost a year since she’d spoken to him. He’d made it clear a long time ago that he thought she was just a pathetic loser, and he was ashamed of her. But she’d called to tell him that she was dating THE Soldier Boy, that they lived together in a fancy apartment and she was spoiled and cared for. She thought it might make him see her as valuable - the fact that someone important wanted her.

Instead he’d told her he wasn’t interested in hearing about her whoring ways, that he didn’t want to know what rich old man was acting as her sugar daddy. He’d called her disgusting and an embarrassment. He told her he didn’t want her associating with his new family, he didn’t want his children soiled by her.

The words had sunk deep into her skin and had been cutting her ever since.

Now, as she laid there, exposed and completely vulnerable, in the most visceral and literal way possible, she began to confess everything. Ben quickly untied her legs from the bedposts so he could sit beside her and pull her into his lap. She told him everything, whispering her father’s cruel words, embarrassed by how true they felt.

When she fell silent, Ben shook his head. “Y/N why wouldn’t you tell me this earlier? I would have handled your punishment very differently.”

She shook her head. “No, I wanted to be punished. I deserve it.”

Ben kissed her forehead. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t have punished you. You disobeyed me all week and refused to let me into your problems, you do deserve to be disciplined. But I told you, I would have done it differently.”

Y/N sniffed. “How?”

Ben smiled. “I would have taken you over my knee again. I would have held you close to me and reminded you over and over that I’m only punishing you because I know how special you are, because I know what a good girl you can be. I would have made sure you know that if I didn’t care about you,” he paused and then pressed a brief kiss to her lips, “if I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t discipline you, I wouldn’t care enough to.”

He wiped away her tears. “And I would have made you come on my fingers between punishments to make sure you know that even though you might deserve to be punished sometimes, you definitely deserve to be pleasured all the time.”

Y/N’s tears ran unchecked once again as Ben continued. “Instead I was disciplining you harshly because I didn’t know what was causing your terrible behavior and I needed you to know I wouldn’t stand for it endlessly. I gave you so many chances this week, why didn’t you reach out to me?”

Y/N shrugged. “I was embarrassed. I was afraid that…” She buried her face in his chest, the material of his suit rough against her cheeks. “I was afraid you’d hear his words and think he was right.”

Ben huffed. “Ridiculous.”

“And,” Y/N continued, “and honestly I just couldn’t understand how I was feeling to even try to explain. Part of me wanted to not care about him, and part of me wanted to crawl into a ball and cry forever. So,” she shrugged again, “I just acted out.”

Ben sighed and then kissed the top of her head. “Well, I’d say your discipline has been severe enough. That can be all for tonight.”

But to his surprise Y/N shook her head. “No, don’t…you set out a punishment, I shouldn’t get out of it just cause I cried and finally told the truth. You taught me that. Once a punishment is set, it needs to be seen through, no matter how sorry I get after.”

Ben frowned. “But Y/N, I told you, if I’d known the truth, I would have disciplined you a lot less harshly.”

“But you only didn’t know the truth because I kept it from you.” When Ben opened his mouth to argue again, Y/N interrupted him. “Please, Sir.” She said in a whisper. “I need the pain. And I need you to…to show me you care enough to correct me when I do wrong.” She shrugged. “I also made a noise when it was forbidden to do so, so I need to be punished for that too.”

She looked up at him and her eyes were misty. “Let me show you that I can be your good girl again.”

Ben took a deep breath and nodded, pride shining in his eyes. “Then get down on your knees, kitten, and show me how good you are.”

Jensen:

@lyarr24

@lacilou

@deans-spinster-witch

@globetrotter28

@suckitands33

@akshi8278

@evznackles

@jackles010378

@impala67rollingthroughtown

@krazykelly

@candy-coated-misery0731

@envyaurora95

@spnwoman

@deans-baby-momma

Any/All:

@kazsrm67

@slut-for-evans-stan

@sexyvixen7

@nancymcl

Everything Incl. Fan Edits:

@k-slla

@leigh70

@eevvvaa

@kickingitwithkirk

@foxyjwls007

@notinthislife50

@roseblue373

@mishkatelwarriorgoddess

@avanatural

@eevvvaa

@mrsjenniferwinchester

@all-alone-he-turns-to-stone

#soldier boy smut #spnkinkbingo #spnkinkevents #soldier boy x reader #ben x reader #bd/sm kink #dom/sub #heed the warnings

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theartofimagining13 · 1 year

Note

Hello sweetie. May I request #1 & #6 with Jonathan Pine and John Wick. Reading those two sentence prompts had me laughing 😆

AMBIENCE: The sounds of rain

WRITTEN BY: A.Wölf.

NOTES: These requests have taken me months to write and for that I am sorry but here's the link to the prompt list so we all know what we're dealing with lol [ Prompt list ]

Thanks for your patience <3

Jonathan Pine did not remember the last time he had slept without a gun under his pillow, but when he heard the metal screeching as the fire escape ladder outside of his partner’s apartment dropped down, he thanked that cautious sixth sense he’d been born with. It startled him awake him in the middle of the night but, in a swift motion, he grabbed his weapon and stood near the window with his back pressed to the wall. He stared at his lover who was in a deep slumber and with the blankets covering her naked self.

Pine would protect her like a guard dog. Whoever was planning on breaking in on this rainy night was in for a surprise. The vertical window was opened from outside and a dark figure creeped in drenched in the rain. He was halfway in when Pine pressed the barrel of his gun against the stranger’s temple and cocked it, and he froze as soon as he felt the cold metal on his skin.

“Move one inch and this will be your last night on earth.” Pine threatened in a quiet yet menacing tone. “Who are you?”

The man slowly but defiantly turned his face to look into his interrogator’s eyes. Pine’s face fell at the sight of his former colleague John Wick but that wasn’t enough for him to lower the gun. Pine knew that John had been rendered excommunicado; he had gotten the text like the rest of the Continental members.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Pine inquired.

But he knew the answer for it was lying right there on the bed. Pine’s partner and John had a past together long before he came into the picture.

“I could ask you the same thing.” Wick answered.

The two men held some sort of staring contest for almost a complete minute until the lamp on the night table was switched on and both their heads snapped towards it.

“What the hell is g-?” Pine’s partner began to ask with narrowed eyes but they went wide and she trailed off when she recognized her old lover. “John?”

She immediately grabbed a robe and carefully put it on before standing up. She reached the two men and glared at Pine.

“Put the fucking gun down!” She ordered but Pine ignored her.

“After what he did?”

“So you heard about Santino?” Wick asked.

“Everybody did, John. You should not be here.” Pine answered.

“How can we help, John?” She asked ignoring her lover.

“I just need a place to lay low for the night.”

“Of course.” She said with a nod and without an ounce of hesitation. “I’ll arrange the guest room.”

Pine’s mouth fell open and he stared at her with utter confusion as she left the room but then John said her name and Pine’s face twitched with anger.

“I’m afraid I’m not alone.” Wick confessed then whistled.

Instantly, his gray Pitbull jumped through the open window and shook the rain off.

“You have got to be kidding me.” Pine muttered under his breath.

“Dog’s welcome to stay as well.” She said before leaving, closely followed by Pine.

He cleared his throat as soon as they reached the hallway.

“A word?”

“What, Jonathan?” She sighed as she stopped to face him.

“This is madness.” He began. “If anyone finds out he’s here…”

“Jonathan…” She interrupted him. “If it were you or me, John would do everything in his power to help us and you know it.”

“And it is my job to do everything in my power to keep you safe.” He retorted. “So you need to get out of here in case things get ugly. Why don’t you stay at your parents’ for the night? I'll stay with John.”

His worried semblance and good intentions made her smile and warmed her heart, so she took a step closer, caressed his left cheek and leaned in for a soft kiss. She pulled away and Pine returned the smile thinking that he had won until she spoke.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Once in the guest room and fresh out of the shower, John sat on the bed wearing some of Pine’s clean pajama pants and a white v-neck t-shirt, and his former lover was right in front of him cleaning the nasty wound on his forehead.

“Why did you do it, Jonathan?” She asked.

Wick couldn’t stop staring at her while several memories projected themselves like films in the theater of his mind. All he heard was his name on her lips for she was one of the few people who called him by his full name.

“So, you and Pine, huh?” He asked.

She froze momentarily then smiled.

“Yeah…” She hesitated. “Is that… weird?”

“No.” Wick rushed but his face said something else. “Yes.”

“I know that you two used to work together but-”

“It’s not that.” Wick interrupted her. “It’s the… similarity in names.”

She chuckled and thought Wick was just joking but then he grabbed her wrist, preventing her from fixing him, and he stared into her eyes in silence for a long time and leaned in closer until her heart was racing and she gulped.

“Is it his or my name you moan in bed?”

Her lips parted and all air left her. Suddenly every memory she shared with John, the most explicit ones, flooded her brain, and she remembered how John Wick was a man of few words but with her, it was a completely different story. She wasn’t thinking anymore, her body acted on impulse and ended the distance between them before brushing her lips against his for the first time in years. John deepened the kiss and it was clear that he had missed her as much as she had missed him but the guilt crept in and she pulled away.

“I-I can’t do this. I can’t do this to Jonathan…” But then the name conundrum was present again so she just left the room.

Pine was hiding in the nearest bathroom. He had heard everything. He had seen them sharing that kiss and it made his stomach clench but he also knew that before him there was Wick, and while she never went into detail about their past, Pine was sure that whatever happened between them had meant the world to her, and it scared him. He wanted to be much more but wasn’t sure he could ever be. And this frustration he would take out on Wick, so he walked into the guest room.

“So, the whole city wants you dead and this is where you decide to hide?” he asked while leaning against the wall next to the door and folding his arms. “You do know you’re putting her in danger, don’t you?”

“No one followed me here. I made sure of it.” John said dryly.

“You were covered in blood, John. I would’ve stopped underestimating them a long time ago if I were you. You just had to go and defy Winston, didn’t you?” He accused. “Listen, I know that you two have history… and so do we, so you’re only staying here for old times’ sake but don’t get it twisted. She’s my whole life now and I will do whatever I have to do to protect her. If anything happens to her because of you, I will personally hunt you down and make your life a living hell before I put a bullet between your eyes. Understood?”

“I’m leaving in the morning.” Wick stated.

“Good.” Pine nodded coldly and turned to leave but stopped and faced Wick again, and spoke while pointing at him with his right index finger. “And don’t you fucking dare stay for breakfast.”

#Prompt list requests #It's WiNe o' clock #John Wick #Jonathan Pine #John Wick x reader #Jonathan Pine x reader #Tom Hiddleston #Keanu Reeves #REQUEST

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the-darklings · 2 years

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Hello hello i hope you're having a great day! I just finished reading COA yesterday (read it in Ao3 and binged it for 3 days straight), i figured i would finally read them since i was busy when it first came out, and while waiting for tibyim finale. And holy shit it's amazing literally the best fanfiction I've ever read and the longest thing I've read since middle school (attention span got fucked up when i got older). The way you weave your OCs/ reader inserts in stories is absolutely amazing, so amazing in fact i keep forgetting they're not canon. Everytime I would read a chapter, either coa or tibyim, i get motivated to write myself, in fact I have written multiple chapters of my own story because your writing had inspired/ motivated me so much. So thank you do much for sharing your wonderful works with us. Can't wait for the continuation of coa ( no pressure! I will literally wait for however long it takes) and the finale for tibyim. And if you're gonna post your original stories here I will definitely be reading it. Again thank you so much, you have definitely rekindled my love for reading.

Ps: you made me love Santino even though i couldn't care less about him in the movies. You just have that way of making me love characters throughout the story (ie: hector, step and cori too lmao) s/v forever and wanderer/ dream endgame.

Sorry this was so long, i just realized this is like a love letter lmaoo

-🥭

It’s been so fascinating seeing the crossover of some tibyim readers going back to coa. I really appreciate it. In all honesty coa could def use an edit to tighten it up (younger me loooooved to over-describe!!! everything!!! and my writing style is already descriptive) but I love coa lots and don’t worry it’s not cancelled or anything. She’s just taking a nap while I work on other things.

But have I got great news for you!!! You know how you said you love coa OCs? Well guess what that original novel I keep mentioning is about? This entire collab universe im making with a friend? : )

V? Why she’s going to be her own person, with her own arc and agency. Hector, Step, Lucien, Julian, Dario? All going to be major characters working as a team with V, or Clara now. You know how Marvel was too cowardly to give us that 2012 Avengers All Live Together And Are Friends And Do Domestic ThingsTM story we deserved? Well, I’m giving it to you. Do you love deep friendships/relationships? It got that. Do you love a torturously slow burn with heavy doze of sexual tension? It got that. Do you love a dark academia inspired setting, a mystery, power games, and a cast centred around ‘antagonists’? That’s the first novel. Do you enjoy a diverse group of misfits with their own demons all banding together for a heist/rescue/revenge mission? Good old found family and healing? Lovers to enemies? Why that’s the second novel : )

#every time you guys say tibyim/coa makes you want to write again my heart swells 3 sizes #one day if i’m very very very lucky you’ll get to read my original novel and I hope some of that love translates 😭#thank you dear 🥭 you’re the sweetest #I really made a fic and said ‘huh….wait hold these characters are pretty cool. what if-‘#all fun and games until wanderer gets that same treatment-#asks

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cattylawz · 4 days

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| Voice Message from 𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐄 𝐒𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖 |

Sent : 𝟹:𝟸𝟾 𝙰.𝙼.

𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐄 : “Hi Orin! How are you, mate? Currently it’s 3… something in the morning, I have to go to work in a tad bit. But how is life going for you right now? How is Santino doing? Is he alright? Are you alright? I hope your cats are healthy, and hopefully not messing with Santino- ( chuckle )- but yeah, just reaching out for a bit, I’m just wondering about your pre-married life for a bit. But uh, yeah! I’ve been doing well myself, just a bit stressed. However, I hope it’s not the same for you, with the stress part. See you! Have a good one as always, Orin! Don’t let those cats stress you out, haha!”

• Orin looks at their phone in awe and confusion. This woman sounded familiar but they couldn’t exactly put a pin on it. Even the contact rang a bell, yet they couldn’t figure out what this Eleanor was talking about.

ORIN : “Oh, uhm—hello, Ellie..? I’m doing okay, and so is Santino; he’s always been alright actually. My life’s been pretty tame recently, thanks for the birthday gift by the way, I really appreciate it. The cats are doing well and the wedding plannings gone smoothly! We had Gianna help the both of us out with outfits a while ago and I’m really grateful for her help.”

“Sorry to hear about your job poking you—you work for the table again right..? I vividly remember that being your job..”

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dystini · 11 months

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Indycar Driver Lore

Indycar Driver Lore Masterlist

Santino Michael Ferrucci

I debated how to start this for far too long. I’ve tried to be more or less impartial in these lore posts but I simply cannot manage to do that here.

Santino Ferrucci is a bad person. When half the Indycar field (or more) has publicly expressed distrust/disdain/dislike for/of a person, it’s hard to argue with. When Conor Daly doesn’t like someone and told them so to their face, there’s a problem with that person. When Josef Newgarden publicly burns someone on Twitter, there’s a problem with that person.

It begins when Santino was in F2. He deliberately made contact with his teammate after a race and was banned for 4 races. He forced that same teammate off the track in another race and was disqualified. He drove his car between paddocks while using his phone. He tried to run a "Make America Great Again" livery. In F2. In Europe. He was fired from his team for “behavioral issues, and non-payment of money required by contract.” Said behavioral issues where racist comments to his teammate. (See several of the videos below for details).

He has remained largely unapologetic for all of this, what little apology he has made has been of the “I’m sorry you’re upset by this.” variety. Now, it’s been five years since this all occurred, and some people might argue that surely he’s grown and matured. Perhaps. He’s not so vocal about his politics now. But he embraces the idea of being a ‘villain’ and has made little effort to make friends within the Indycar paddock, a paddock which is notorious for being very friendly. Add in insulting and picking fights with a man very well liked amongst his fellow drivers, Conor Daly.

Conflicting stories arise of his treatment of fans. I have heard that he’s been very friendly and good about giving autographs. I’ve also heard of multiple people nearly being run down by Santino in his golf cart at races. Both can be true. He’s not a complete idiot and knows that positive fan interactions are good but he is also careless. A large portion of fans do not like him but he does have his supporters. I’ve provided all the information I can for you to make up your own mind.

Conor Daly's epic reaction to Alexander Rossi vs Santino Ferrucci! The unusual story of Santino Ferrucci… What's the deal between Santino Ferrucci and Conor Daly? (I admit to being a Conor stan and I don’t agree with the commentary here but it does lay out the facts) A CAREER OVER?! Thoughts on the Santino Ferrucci Scandal in F2 @santinoferrucci says his battle vs. @conordaly22, @josefnewgarden and others is about home country pride. I Am Not Here for Your Santino Ferrucci Redemption Arc MP 382: A Conversation with Santino Ferrucci Josh Berry Gives The Middle Finger To Santino Ferrucci In NASCAR Xfinity Race At Phoenix Santino calls Conor a wuss on Instagram and the ensuing conversation.

Birthdate: May 31, 1998 Hometown: Woodbury, Connecticut Residence: Dallas, Texas Height/Weight: 5’4”/116lbs

Rookie Year: 2018

Team: A.J. Foyt Enterprises

Follow him on: Instagram Twitter

Career Stats

2018: 4 races with Dale Coyne Racing - 27th Overall 2019: Dale Coyne Racing- 13th Overall 2020: Dale Coyne Racing w/ Vasser-Sullivan - 13th Overall 2021: 5 races with Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing - 24th Overall 2022: 1 race each: Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing, Dreyer & Reinbold Racing, Juncos Hollinger Racing - 28th Overall 2023: A.J. Foyt Enterprises - 19th Overall

FIA Formula 2 Championship 2017: Trident - 22nd Overall 2018: 14 races with Trident - 19th Overall ( Banned for 4 races, disqualified from a race and then fired)

NASCAR Xfinity Series 2021: 7 races Sam Hunt Racing - 37th Overall 2022: 2 races with Sam Hunt Racing - 60th Overall

-At just 11 years old, Ferrucci was featured in an article for GQ magazine as a karting prodigy. -After his karting career, he raced in GP3 Series (now FIA Formula 3) and FIA Formula 2 and became the youngest winner of a British Formula 3 race, at age 16. -Ferrucci enjoys golf, gaming and movies from the Marvel Cinematic Universe off the track. -Nicknamed Santucci, amongst many more derogatory names.

Fanfic Lore

Villain, on the rare occasion he is used.

#please reblog #we have lots of new fans and I've heard people asking why we don't like him #This is why #indycar #indycar rpf #fanfic #driver lore #santino ferrucci

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thewhumpcaretaker · 3 months

Text

The Broken Veil: Chapter 5 - Bloodless, Airless

Image source from Effect Magazine

TW: choking/breathplay, animal death, mental and physical child abuse (flashback to young Jardani)

Summary: John Wick has just agreed to kill Gianna D'Antonio, repaying the marker that gave him a life with Helen. However, Helen is trying to contact John from the afterlife, to show him that it is possible to stop the cycle of violence – not by forfeiting his own life, but by creating a fundamental shift in international systems and perhaps even the balance of good and evil in this world. But he doesn’t have to do it alone. She’s coming back.

“I have to remind myself to breathe—almost to remind my heart to beat!” - Heathcliff, Wuthering Heights

Waking up in Helen’s arms. Waking up with his face still nestled in her hair, with their limbs tangled effortlessly, seamlessly. It wasn’t a dream. She’s here, she’s safe. She’s so beautiful. She’s close to his own half century of age, but filled with the real, timeless beauty of liveliness. Her chest moves up and down and her cheeks are not hollowed with the wasting of her sickness and her flesh has the same healthy vibrancy as when they met. “I’ll do anything it takes,” she said. So will I. He will never allow any harm to come to her again. Ever, even from her own body. If it is possible for her to warp the fabric of reality, then so will he.

The sunrise floods over the balcony, the bedside table, the starched sheets and billowing blankets. He pulls her closer by the waist and nuzzles against her, and she turns in her sleep to embrace him. All of him is fluttering. The alarm is about to start blaring, but John shuts it off and kisses her awake instead. It’s time to get up, and board a plane, and beat this entire world into a shape that will hold her gently.

***

Half a world away, Santino is struggling not to fear death. Something is wrong, Ares should have contacted him by now. It’s at moments like these that his blood runs icy with the knowledge that he could make a wrong move at any moment. I could, but I won’t, he tells himself. No, he’s Santino D’Antonio, he is destined for power, he has a hold on the situation. No, it’s that pathetic dog John Wick who will be snuffed out of existence. He was fool enough to give me a marker. He’s dead no matter what he does. Santino smiles.

Winston’s voice breaks in again. He’s been pressuring Santino ever since Cassian’s report reached him, with the marker ledger open on the table between them. “He completed the task. The marker is over.”

“I want to hear it from my own people.”

“Just mark it, you’re dragging this out for yourself. Ares will be dead by now. Why else-”

Ares walks in. Winston’s breathing stops for an instant. He tries to control his expression but Santino catches the horror that flashes through him.

Ares starts signing. “I fucked up. Wick is alive. The rest of my entourage is dead. I’m sorry.”

“And the target?”

“Also alive. He went all the way to her chambers and then didn’t follow through.”

Santino swears, then stands up and paces. That icy feeling is taking full control, but he refuses to admit it. He glares at Winston. “Seems it’s good that I waited.”

Winston is at a loss for words. He closes the ledger in resignation.

Santino turns and snaps at Ares, “Why didn’t you finish the contract in his place?”

“That wasn’t part of our agreement. Wick was my focus and I stayed on him. No way in hell I’ll take on a target of that profile without a marker of my own.”

“Lot of good that did!” He laughs darkly. “But it doesn’t matter. He’s dead walking.”

Winston’s still there, the damned pest. “You have no idea what’s coming, do you?”

“I have everyone in New York looking for him. I doubt you will see him again. Besides, I still hold the marker. He’s dead if he comes for me.”

“Is that so? You stabbed the devil in the back and forced him back into the life that he had just left. You incinerated the priest’s temple, burned it to the ground. Now that he has nothing left to lose, what do you think he’ll do? He had a glimpse of the other side, and he embraced it. But you, Sr. D’Antonio, took it away from him.”

“He was already back!”

“Oh, he came back for love, not for you.”

“He owed me, I had every right!” Santino takes a step towards him, heated, struggling not to lose his temper at the way Winston is trying to scare him. It’s insulting.

Ares taps loudly on the table until both men look to her. “There’s something else you need to know.” She pauses. “There was a woman with him. I saw her appear out of nothing.”

“I think she answered his phone. Stealth fighter?”

“No. I mean she wasn’t there, and then she was. I know I never looked away.”

Santino shakes his head. “Don’t fuck with me right now.”

“I’m not. This isn’t a joking matter. She took a full clip to the back and didn’t flinch.”

“Well-funded then. Good body armor.” Ares looks like she wants to say something, but she thinks the better of it, so he continues. “Do you know who she is?”

“She claimed to be his wife, Helen Wick. And he claimed she was contacting him from beyond the grave. That’s what he said to Gianna.”

“So you know nothing. Useless.”

Winston has gone strangely pale.

Santino’s patience is fully exhausted. “Fix this within 48 hours or Wick won’t be the only one who’s dead walking.”

On the borderline between obedience and passive aggression, Ares signs, “Ok.”

***

It’s seven million. He might have been too blissful to care last night, but now he cares. He’s shoving the incriminating weaponry from last night into a disposal bag supplied by the hotel (along with a new cell phone), and he’s thinking about his hands around Santino’s throat.

That one bag would give any TSA agent a heart attack, Helen thinks to herself as she watches him dump in another set of knives.

Without looking up, he places information in front of her ears, his voice too monotone to be called speech. “They will swarm us. They’ll go through anyone I’m with to get to me.”

“I’m so sorry. This is an extremely frustrating situation. But I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.”

He continues as if she hasn’t spoken. “When we touch down, I will go to work, and you will take a taxi and go…well I would have sent you to our home, but it has…” He forces out the words, “recently exploded.”

“I know. I saw. But John-”

“So instead you will go to a random location, with some money that I give you, and two days from now we will meet up-“

She steps between him and the door and takes him by the shoulders. “Look at me, and let’s talk for a second.” When he meets her eyes, she continues, “It makes no sense for us to separate. Do you leave your body armor behind when you go into battle? No. I am your body armor now.”

It’s so difficult for him to look at her when he knows she’s about to be attacked because of him. She looks stunning today. And every day. “I never want to think of you as my body armor.”

“Then think of me as your teammate. Your other half. We don’t separate, okay?”

Fine then. I’ll just kill them all. Anyone who touches her. “…Okay.”

She relaxes, and opens the hotel room door. He shakes his head, amazed at her calm, and guides her down the hallway, his hand on the small of her back. She’s in black lace, a superb Valentino cocktail dress, and the heat of her skin through the fabric only amplifies his protective rage.

“Do they serve breakfast on the flight?” she asks.

“We’re taking a private jet. They serve anything you like.”

“Good. You should eat something. You’ve been pacing around all morning.”

“What about you? Do you…eat?”

She thinks for a moment and replies, “I’m not hungry, but I’m not repulsed by the idea. I imagine I could if I wanted to.”

Once they’ve boarded, he orders her favorite breakfast of French toast and strawberries. He hasn’t forgotten. Even though there’s no hunger, it feels good to eat again, especially while flying over the sunlit Spanish countryside, reclining on quilted leather. She savors every sensation. But she can’t help being a little distracted by the anger still coursing through him, intensified by black coffee.

When she’s done, he clears his throat. “So how does the invulnerability work? Is it just bullets, or all forms of damage? Knives, for example?”

“The rocks didn’t cut my feet when I was running barefoot last night.”

“What if someone put you in a chokehold? Do you need oxygen to the brain?”

“I’m not sure.”

“…We’ll need to know very soon.”

“Well in that case, let’s test it.”

“I-what?”

“You could choke me.”

***

“Choke me, John.”

They were on her couch, after having dinner with her friends. He already had a hand up her skirt and towered above her with a knee pressed into either side of her hips.

He hesitated. “What if I don’t want to?”

“Then you don’t have to, silly.” She dropped the playfulness for a moment. “Is that not something that appeals to you?”

“No.” He’d suddenly gone very stiff, and not in the ideal places.

“That’s okay. Hey, I’m sorry if I brought up something unpleasant. It’s not important what we do. Being with you is enough.”

He laid back against the cushions, clearly trying to push the “something unpleasant” out of his thoughts and failing. He managed to say, “Your friends would be pretty shocked to hear me refuse that request.”

Helen laughed. Her friend Mindy had made a risqué joke about how wild he must be in bed. Like everyone else, she was taken in by his imposing figure, his rumblingly deep voice, his confident motions and the vice grip that closed too tight on the back of Helen’s chair when someone made her uncomfortable. “You are far sweeter than you let on with other people. I understand and I love that about you.”

“You don’t understand. It’s not just that I have a taste for…gentler forms of intimacy. And I don’t…I don’t mean to say that aggression can’t be sweet.” He was having trouble speaking. She waited. “I don’t want that image in my head. Of my hands around your neck. Not ever. If you understood what that image means to me…that act and you don’t belong in the same world.”

“Then help me understand.” But that wouldn’t be the night he told her. After his first refusal, she let it drop and just tried to bring him back to himself. She didn’t yet know exactly what was bothering him so much. She knew only enough to make out that there was violence in his past, and perhaps in his present, and that was enough to make her concerned for him.

It was also enough to teach her how to interact with him. She learned quickly that they could be rough together, he could take her hard and fast, he was honored by her trust in him. But any play that placed her in the role of masochist at best turned him off and at worst sent him spiraling. It wasn’t that he lacked dominance. It wasn’t that he didn’t want power over her body. It was just that power never seemed to translate into violence. Not even play-pretend violence. Not with her, even if she wanted it. Violence…that was reserved for others.

***

“Choke him, Jardani. Until he’s dead.”

The little boy refused to let his voice break. “I don’t want to.” He was about ten, though he doesn’t remember exactly now.

The Director repeated his words, tutting. “You don’t want to. Tsk.” She had placed a viper in the cage with his pet pigeon. He grabbed him quickly enough, and clutched him just below the base of the skull between his fingers. But he was being trained as an assassin, and assassins do not just grab their prey to hold it firmly by the base of the skull. “Then let him go back in the cage.”

“I would like…to put him outside.”

She laughed uproariously. “That’s not one of the options I’m giving you. Sometimes, life doesn’t give you any options you like, boy. Kill him, or let him go back in the cage and eat his fill.”

He could feel the snake’s strangely malleable throat thrumming against his flesh as he turned his head and flicked his tongue, desperate to escape. Jardani hesitated.

“Too late.” The Director smacked his wrist, hard, forcing his fingers to splay open. The viper fell back to the floor of the birdcage, momentarily stunned. She closed it and dragged him away, his arms twisted together behind his back in a single one of her hands. “Stand still and watch.” He let his body go slack and she released him. The viper, rapidly recovering its strength, sprung forward and sunk fangs into the fluffy white breast that Jardani had so often cradled to his cheek. Red, seeping from the wound. Her body, thrashing as if in seizure. And The Director, standing above him.

In a moment of blind rage, he lunged at her throat. He was already well trained enough to make contact with her collarbone before she flipped him to the ground. Panting above him, she praised his outburst. “Good. You’ll do so well in this world.”

“I loved that bird,” he grunted from underneath her shoulder, seething. “She was my friend.”

“Love? I’ll tell you what love is. Love is a stranger’s body hitting the floor. We kill strangers so we don’t have to kill the ones we love. If you love anything in this world, kill the first thing that tries to take it from you. An enemy, a bystander, even someone you are sworn to. It doesn’t matter. Kill, without hesitation. That is love. If you loved her, that’s what you would have done.”

***

“I don’t want to choke you. I want to choke the people who would ever try to choke you. You know that.”

“You don’t have to. But I want to put it on the table. You’re not doing violence against me, you’re getting information to protect me. And you won’t hurt me, things are different from when I was alive. I think there would be some value in understanding viscerally that I can’t be harmed. I can see you spiraling, John. You’re afraid for me. I don’t want that to run you right now.”

He sighs, considering.

Again, “You don’t have to. I could just hold my breath.”

He glances around, checking for any sign of the flight attendant, but the coast is clear. Finally, he takes her hand and places it over his left wrist. “If you feel yourself losing consciousness, tap.”

The light from the jet’s porthole is pouring across them, warming them both with the brilliance of white clouds stretching into an endless beyond. As he leans forward, his shadow falls over her, creating a patch of chill, as slivers of sun burn white at the edges of his dark hair. Slowly, his free hand moves to her neck. Her eyes are locked onto his, completely peaceful and trusting. She’s so fragile, and his palm is massive. There’s the small lump of her voice box, the hard but so-brittle ridges of the cervical spine. He knows where to press to shatter them. His thumb on one side and fingers on the other find the pulse of her carotid arteries, and gradually they squeeze, severing blood flow. Five seconds. Ten seconds. Twenty seconds. Her face is white but completely alert, still smiling at him in reassurance.

His touch feels so strange, dizzying and cold but completely incapable of rendering her unconscious. He’s so powerful. She can feel his pulse too, through his fingertips. He’s shaking in every part of his body except this arm, where he maintains perfect control of his muscles, terrified to slip and hurt her.

Severed blood flow does nothing then. What about total asphyxiation? It doesn’t really add anything, but now that he’s here… Another slow, small movement compresses her trachea.

She can feel the walls of her throat touch together. Thirty seconds. Forty seconds. Sixty seconds. Ninety seconds. Seconds stretch into minutes. She’s not breathing at all. But she basks in the pressure of his touch, and the way his emotions are gradually changing in flavor. He hasn’t realized it yet, but he’s hard, and she can feel it. The blood that can’t reach her brain is pounding in her pelvis.

She’s still beaming up at him, her lips slightly parted. He realizes that he hasn’t been breathing much either and exhales in relief. There is her life, in his hand, her bloodless, airless, undead, unkillable, willful life. And there’s nothing he can do that will go wrong, and even if there was, he would not do it. His hand is not murdering her. It’s framing her face, adorning her like a necklace, hugging her, supporting and directing her head. It looks good on her. So affectionate, pressing into her so deeply. Expressing his love for her without killing. He feels strong, he feels beautiful, he feels in control of himself. He feels almost worthy of her trust. This…this is what she wanted to show him.

With her hand still resting gently on his wrist, and her smile still radiant, he leans forward and tilts her mouth to his.

#john wick #jardani jovonovich #john wick fanfic #john x helen #asphyxia #breathplay #choking #tw animal death #assassin whump #hurt/comfort #fluff and angst #ao3 crosspost

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