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vidalinav · 2 years

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I would die for scene in your nezriel fic (is it a fic? is it a long snippet?) where Cassian sees a hickey Nesta left on Azriel’s neck and starts questioning him about his new lover and meanwhile Azriel’s inner monologue is just like: well fuck… I bet he’d kill me if he knew…

To fit "canon" and I mean my fics world, Azriel would probably be more envious about Cassian and the mate bond in particular, and petty because he wants to rub it in that she's not his. Also technically, I've pretty much established that the hickeys don't stay for long periods of time, like they immediately heal, which is why Azriel hates that he can't have something permanent on/with Nesta. I suppose because of the last snippet, there's less time for them to disappear since he spent the day with her. But they disappear pretty quickly (I would assume because fae healing) and also I'm assuming that he needs to leave earlier so that he can get rid of her scent.

So... I tweaked it a little (A lot).

Cassian's smug as he orders another drink and Azriel takes a sip of his water. He wills himself not to pull out Nesta's ribbon, a token he's stolen from her vanity, and wave it in front of his nose. This is who you're missing. This is who you can never have. The scent--her scent--is for his nose only.

It would coat his skin even now, if they knew for a fact the situation wouldn't blow up in their faces. Azriel would never go against Nesta's wishes to keep their relationship a secret even if his own wishes have now changed, and there's too many moving pieces.

In another court, there might be a duel. If their court was crueler, there might be a law that would put Nesta at risk. Whatever keeps Nesta safe, he tells himself.

Secrets are safe...

At least, he's told himself that. Their secrets are safe with him. But are they safe when they keep secrets?

Azriel's begun to wonder that. He's known his brother for centuries. Right now, Cassian orders another drink and swipes at Mor playfully when she pleads for him to come dance with her. He's half drunk already, but are they safe from him?

Azriel's fucking his mate after all.

Still, some part of him wants to pull out the ribbon, he keeps touching in the pocket of his jacket. I'm fucking your mate.

What will he do? What will he say?

Azriel is above such childish things, yes, and frankly it'd be disrespectful to Nesta and their time together. She isn't a stolen toy--a weapon he waves around saying look what you don't have. So Azriel takes a sip and looks to crowded room.

Sevenda's is blooming this evening, and the noise makes his skin itch. In just a few more hours, he'll be with Nesta again. He'll kiss her until she's blushing red, until her lips raise and he'll think he's seen the sun. Something angelic. And he'll worship her with his lips, with his touch, with books... if that's what she likes.

Time is precious now and though he loves their trysts by moonlight, he doesn't want her to think he's only there for the lay. Azriel wants all of her. The way she inhales romances... the odd little routines she has for her hair. She uses several kinds of soap for her bath and he wants to pour it in, to see exactly what makes Nesta smell as sweet as she does.

"You're quiet today," Cassian remarks, laughing under his breath. "Hot date?"

I'm fucking your mate.

"Nothing of the sort."

"You've been gone a lot lately," but it's Amren who speaks this time. She holds the glass of wine and it's the same color as the blood she used to drink. Interrogation, Azriel thinks as he resists rolling his eyes. Not so deadly anymore.

"I've been on assignment," he offers raising a brow. He doesn't look to Rhys, nor does he offer his mind up for chatting. Azriel doesn't care what that prick of a brother will say to him now.

But Feyre catches his gaze and she purses her lips as if she's disappointed by these state of affairs.

Affairs is not a good word to describe Nesta's and his relationship. Nesta is single. He keeps trying to remind them. She's not owned by anyone, least of all him. But the person she wants to spend time with, is him.

Cassian sighs, a deep, torn sound. "Too many things have changed... and not at all."

Mor glowers at that, as Cassian swirls the drink in his hand. Clearly, he's much more drunk than Azriel's realized if he's already getting melancholic.

"You're gone," he says, taking a sip wistfully, "Mor leaves more now. Rhys and Feyre are always fucking... Amren's the same, but I don't want to spend time with her."

"Spend time with the girl then," Amren says, rolling her eyes at Cassian's dramatic antics.

Azriel feels his heart skip in his chest, but he breathes a guilty sigh of relief when Cassian sighs once more. He rubs the ribbon with his thumb willing himself to calm down.

"She doesn't want me."

No, she wants me.

Mor opens her mouth, probably to say something cruel abut Nesta, but Feyre glares up at her friend. It's silent at their little table, and Azriel can feel a stare on him.

He doesn't need to look to the side to know it's Rhys.

See, he probably wants to say, this is who you're messing with. Don't you love Cassian? Your own brother.

But why does Cassian deserve Nesta? Here he is whining over drinks, instead of earning his keep and doing right by his mate. He's here with Mor, letting her pat him on the arm and placate him with worried words, while his mate on the other side of town is stuck in her apartment with four locks on her door, because she's deeply changed from what she's been through.

Don't you love Cassian?

"Do you even love Nesta?"

Azriel straightens at the bitter taste of his words. Cassian, luckily, is too drunk to hear the anger. His head lowers, like puppy who's been kicked. "She doesn't love me," he says.

As if it were that simple.

She loves me, though, Azriel wants to say. There's an ugly part of him that wants Cassian to hate him, to hate Nesta too, if only so they could be free from him--from this guilt. He can see it every time he's there, the hesitancy in Nesta's gaze. That brief admission of her eyes, that it might just be easier to give in to that mate bond and do away with this, because their relationship will never be easy.

It will never be accepted like Cassian's would be. Gifted by the Mother. Blessed and holy.

Maybe that's why her kisses taste like sin. Mother damn him then.

#nezriel #nesta archeron #azriel #A secret or a sin

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hauntedwitch04 · 2 years

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Hey! Can I request and ACOTAR Nyx x Fae!Reader where they don’t like eachother but after in the middle of an argument (with a lot of tension) the mating bond clicks for Nyx and he runs off. They the resolve it and admit they actually like eachother as well as the mating bond clicking for the reader.

It would be great if it had fluff a hint of angst - smut is up to you, don’t do it if your uncomfortable. Thank you <3

Amantium irae amoris integratio est

The quarrels of lovers are the renewal of love

Nyx x Reader

Words: about 3.1k words

Warnings: mention of blood, cussing, ANGST, a little bit of smut at the end

Author’s note: Hi! I really liked your idea, and it came to my mind this oneshot. It came out longer than I thought it was. Hope you like it!

My mastelist

Taglist

Y/N’s POV

It’s been years since I started training with the Valkirias. I was really young at the time, and I was alone, while now I have a family. I’m an Illyrian, and I lived in a small village near Windhaven, in a small house with my family: my parents and my two sisters. I was the older one and I usually helped my mother with the housekeeping. One night someone entered our house and killed my parents. My mother screamed at me to hide my sister and I, before getting killed. I never managed to get out of my mind the blood that seeped out of my mother’s neck, after that man slipped her throat. The village leaders never investigated who did it, and we unfortunately hadn't seen his face. We went to live with our aunt, who always lived in our village, not far from where we were. She was terrible, doing everything but treating us with love and respect. Years went by, I accepted the abuse of that terrible woman in order to have a house to live in, if not for me at least for my sisters, until my first bleeding came, which marked the end of everything. My aunt wanted to clip my wings off, following Illryrian traditions, however fortunately he was able to escape into the woods with my sisters before he succeeded. The men of the village chased us and after a real hunt in the woods they managed to kill my sisters. I couldn't even run, taking their bodies with me, so I had to leave them there. I had never felt dirtier in my life than the moment I stopped the blood soaked bodies of my little sisters on the ground as I ran through the trees. To this day I still feel guilty for that act, for not being a good enough sister, for letting them die.

I eventually arrived in Windhaven, sweaty and covered in blood, and I wasn't looking where I was going when I was met by none other than General Cassian and his wife Nesta. Immediately she had fallen to her knees before them, praying for their help. The woman had knelt down next to me and asked me what had happened, so I had tried to tell her the story through sobs and tears. She looked at me with compassion, while her husband seemed to become increasingly angry with my attackers. As soon as I had finished telling the story, the same men from the woods who had followed me had emerged from the forest, claiming the right to cut off my wings. The General had kindly told his wife to take me inside to a house not far away, and to give me some water and clean clothes. As the woman and I walked towards that building I heard the cries of pain of those men, so I tried to turn around but she held me down with an arm on my shoulder, telling me not to look. Since that day I have been under the protection of Nesta Acheron and her husband Cassian.

After a few months, Nesta had taken the ride of training me with the Valkyrie, saying a little coaching wouldn't hurt. Now I'm one of the strongest warriors, and every night I dream of the day when I'll be able to return to the place where I was born and avenge my family, but for now there are too many ghosts inhabiting my past. In addition to training me, Nesta had also taught me how to read and write. I always saw her as a mother figure, as she always treated me as if I were her own daughter, and this was noticed and appreciated by the other members of the Dream Court, who liked to see her so loving and kind to someone. The only one who didn't appreciate her attention for me was Nyx, who was previously her aunt's ward, who now saw his position taken away by me.

Nyx is a little older than me, but that certainly doesn't make him act any more mature, as he seems to be a five year old during our discussions, which happen very frequently. I can't deny that he's an attractive guy, with his purple eyes and black hair with purple highlights, like his father's, but it drives me crazy when he always wants to be right about everything, or he starts insulting me just because he's jealous that I'm better at something. There's always been a bit of rivalry between us, and Nesta seems to like that because it keeps us focused on doing our best, even if it often leads to fights or arguments between us.

Azriel and Cassian seem to like it too, because every time they send us on a mission or make us train together, but after the last time Rhysand forbade the use of weapons while we are both around, because in a moment of anger I passed the blade over Nyx's head, making him understand that if I wanted to hit him I would have done it, but it was a little too close and I ended up spiking his hair.

But back to today.

"No, I refuse to go on a mission with her. That's all I'll say." says Nyx getting up from the table after Cassian announced a new mission, which only he and I have to participate in.

"Stop complaining boy. This is your father's and my choice, and if I were you I wouldn't upset him after yesterday's recent events." Affirms the General.

"I've already apologized to him five times for breaking that pen, he won't still be mad at me I hope! It was a fucking pen!"

"Language Nyx, try to keep it appropriate to where we're talking." Nesta picks it up, sitting next to her husband. She tries not to laugh at Nyx's face in being taken back by her aunt, but I can't and it draws the boy's attention to me.

"I wouldn't laugh too hard if I were you, since you talk worse than I do. You use more swear words than words to speak."

"At least I don't get picked up by my aunt. I know when to say them or not." I respond by sticking my tongue out at him.

"See, I can't go on a mission alone with her, I'd end up killing her before I got home."

"Funny how you think you can kill me, like I'm not better at it than you are, and not kill you first."

"And since when are you better than me?"

"Well I think the last workout with Az speaks for itself..."

"I was tired ok, and then I was anxious, I felt pressured."

"I bet you use the same excuse with the girls you sleep with."

"You damn little bitch-"

"Stop it!" Cassian shouts in exasperation. "You're going on that damn mission, and you're leaving now, and I never want to hear another word out of you. Either of you."

We huff at the same time then leave the room, to go get our thing ready to leave when I hear Nesta say something.

"Amantium irae amoris integratio est."

"What does that mean?" Cassian asks in a curious tone.

"The quarrels of lovers are the renewal of love. Those two are in love, and I can't wait for them to figure it out."

I hear Cassian burst out laughing and whisper something back to her that I can't quite make out. I dwell on those words and start to think about how I feel about Nyx, and slowly I find myself realizing that Nesta is right unfortunately, as usual. What I thought were jokes and teasing I find myself realizing are nothing more than my way of showing a feeling I was unaware of. I wonder if he also felt what Nes said or not.

After a short while we are ready to take off and leave. The mission lasted a few days, and we managed to return victorious, although I was wounded as we were running away. The soldier was about to hit Nyx, but I managed to move him in time, but instead of him I took the hit. After this incident the boy immediately transmuted us home to the family river house in the lobby. I don't even have time to take a breath that immediately Nyx starts screaming in anger and fear.

"You're crazy! Do you realize what you've done! Damn Y/N, look at the wound, you could die!"

"Calm down, it's nothing, it's just a little scratch." I reply with the same anger, disguised as meekness.

"If it's a joke just know it's not funny, you're fucking hurt. I can protect myself, you didn't have to."

"There's nothing worse than a man's wounded pride."

"Y/N it's not a joke, you're bleeding, you had absolutely no right to do something like that."

"Yes I did, I totally had the right."

"Why? Why did you have to make of something so stupid."

"Because too many people have already died in front of my eyes. I watched my sisters die in front of my eyes, while I did nothing, instead I ran away, leaving their bodies there. I saw my mother die in front of my eyes, without me being able to do anything. So I'm sorry if this time I decided to react, to do something, instead of watching you suffer and hurt, I'm really sorry Nyx. I really am a bitch for that." I say starting to cry, falling to my knees on the hall carpet as I press a hand to my injured side. I see the High Lady in the library doorway watching the scene in silence, waiting for a response from her son. I see Nyx's eyes widen as she stares at me, then takes a step towards me, then freezes as if she's thinking about what to do next.

"Take care of her, call Madja, I have to go." She finally says, to run out the front door. Feyre immediately comes next to me, asking me how I'm doing, as I see Nesta look at me, then walk out of the library where she was before, and follow her nephew.

Nyx's Pov

I run through the streets of Velaris, passing by people, some greeting me, some trying to talk to me, but I'm too lost in my thoughts.

Bond. Y/N is my mate.

God how stupid I am, it was so obvious, but of course I never figured it out. Part of me has always been in love with her, but was always afraid to admit it. I walk until I find myself in front of my favorite fountain, the one that Nesta used to take me to when I was a kid, and she would tell me that anytime she felt lost or needed to get lost on something she would come here. I'm sitting on the edge and starting to think about whether or not I should tell the girl I love about the bond, when a familiar voice blows me out of my head.

"I knew I'd find you here. You were an asshole for leaving her there , you know that right? If you weren't my nephew I would have killed you by now. You're lucky I love you."

"I know, Aunt Nes, I know, but...I was...I was scared." I say, deciding to be honest with her.

"You haven't called me that since you were little. What were you afraid of?"

"Earlier, while we were in the hallway...well the bond clicked...Y/N is my mate. I was scared of ...everything: of seeing her there on the ground hurt, of the feelings exploding in my chest, of the way I suddenly couldn't do without her...and of her rejection."

"Don't be stupid, why would she reject the bond?"

"Because she hates me, come on it's obvious."

"You men are idiots...she loves you, and she knew it even before you did, Why do you think she preferred to take that hit instead of you? In love sometimes you do stupid things, and this is definitely one of those things. "

"I should talk to her."

"Definitely. Come on move, go get your woman. Finally my ship is about to come true."

I laugh and nod. I get up from the edge of the fountain, give her a quick hug, and head as fast as I can toward the house on the river. I see my mother standing in the doorway looking at me angrily, stopping her before she can say anything to me.

"I know, I know I've been an asshole, where is Y/N, I need to talk to her."

"She asked that I take her to her apartment after Madja treated her."

"Thanks mom, I'll explain later what happened. Better, have Aunt Nes explain it to you, I'm sure she'll be more than happy to tell you the story."

I start running through the city streets again, this time happily, as I make my way to my beloved's house.

Y/N's POV

I've just been lying in bed when I hear someone knocking on the front door. I asked the High Lady to take me to my house, a small apartment in the penthouse of a building in downtown Velaris, so I wouldn't have to meet Nyx again, knowing he would be home soon. I don't want to see him right now, after I spat some of my deepest fears at him, and he ran away without a word.

I get up and go to answer the door, and of course who do I see? The one person I don't want to see at all.

"Please before you close the door in my face, give me at least two minutes to talk to you and apologize, then I may never even see myself again." Says the boy in front of me.

"I already know I'm going to regret this, but if there's one thing Nesta taught me...it's that you don't give people second chances, goodbye."

"Please, please, one minute. All I ask, one minute, then I'm gone."

I think about the proposal for a moment, then open the door to let him in, and nod. He quickly enters the apartment, and turns to me as I close the door.

"How are you?" he asks, trying to test the waters.

"Fifty-six seconds."

"Okay, okay I'm moving. First of all I would like to apologize for running off like that earlier, I didn't mean to offend you and no one asked me or forced me to come here. If that's the question, I came here on my own. Second, I would like to apologize for being insensitive earlier. You confessed one of your biggest fears and I looked at you like you told me what your favorite color was.

"Wow...you're not Nyx, what have you done with him? In case you don't tell me, I much prefer this version."

"Ha ha very funny Y/N, really funny."

I laugh at his response, and see him smile at my reaction.

"Now comes the tricky part."

"Or was this one easy for the proud Nyx? Is apologizing easy?"

"You really do have such a low opinion of me darling." At this pet name I feel butterflies flutter in my stomach. I'm screwed. I feel something snap inside me, a strange feeling pervades me and I immediately understand. The mating bond. He is my mate. This feeling spreads throughout my body, and the only thing I want to do is kiss him.

"I'm not sure how to tell you this, but I'm going to do it anyway, because it's too much of a burden to carry. I'm in love with you Y/N, and I've only been an idiot to treat you like this all this time, but I was afraid that you would never reciprocate my feelings and make fun of me, or you would reject me and that would destroy me. After today I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to confess my feelings to you before something even worse than what happened today happened to you, and then I felt the bond snap and I knew it was time to tell you how I feel. You can hate me now, but at least I told you how I feel. I love you...please don't kill me."

I freeze at his words, then laugh weakly as I get closer, and I see his confused expression.

"You really are an idiot you know. I love you too, why do you think I chose to save you over me? Why do you think I'm always so jealous of the girls you date? I'm possessive of my stuff, especially my mate. "

"I may be an idiot, but at least I'm your idiot."

"Hurry up idiot and kiss me."

It's the best kiss of my life. His lips are soft, and warm against mine. I run my hands through his hair, and I smell a scent of rain and canella that makes my nostrils invade. He holds me by my hips, close to him, as we slowly find ourselves backing up to the kitchen, where I grab a chocolate chip cookie and pulling away from him slightly, put it in his mouth. He looks at me, wondering with his gaze if I'm convinced of what I'm doing.

I nod, so he eats it. Right after he kisses me again, and this time I can also taste the chocolate on his lips. We approach my bedroom, as he begins to lightly kiss my neck and bite my ear. This gesture causes me to let out a soft moan of pleasure, as my hands move around trying to get his shirt off, and he tries to unhook my bra, before falling onto the bed. We make love all night, being careful not to hurt me, accepting the mating bond and his animal passion, and then fall asleep in each other's arms at dawn, content, satisfied, and in love.

Bonus

Nesta's pov

I smile to see that Neither Nyx nor Y/N is present at practice this morning. I turn to my mate, who has a rather confused look on his face.

"Where are those two? They didn't kill themselves did they?" He asks, and I in response shrug, saying.

"Who knows." I look at Azriel and smile in satisfaction as he rolls his eyes, saying "I knew I shouldn't have bet on the two of them with you."

#nyx x reader #imagine acotar #acotar x reader #rhys acotar #acotar #acomaf #hauntedwitch04's writing

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talkfantasytome · 3 years

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Have you been following the TOG releases and now are you following the ACOTAR releases?

I usually only read and watch things that are already finished because I am very curious and anxious. I had agreed that I would read ACOTAR only when it was finished but I got curious because everyone was talking about it and now I'm here super anxious and unsure about the next book.

So, I was not following ToG. I didn't even know it existed until after I started ACOTAR, but I didn't read them until this past June. So very much not following. But, I got to devour them. Took me, like, 2-2.5 weeks to get through them? I tried to pace myself...I could've gone faster. 👀 Thank you ADHD and my insane hyperfocus.

I am now following the ACOTAR releases, but that's a bit recent. I read the books for the first time back in 20...18? 2019? One of those. It was over a long Independence Day weekend. What I remember is we had Thursday off for the holiday, and I also took that Friday off. 😂

The first three books and the novella were out at that point. I fell in love with Cassian, I though Nesta was a queen (yes, I know she was awful at times, but, like, I got her), and Nessian was my life. It literally got me through ACOWAR, or at least got me through it faster. So, naturally, finding out at the end of the novella that the next book was Nessian, I knew I'd be reading it ASAP. And I'm now invested, so I'll be following and reading them quickly when they come out. Purchasing the e-books so I get it LITERALLY right away (I started ACOSF around midnight the day it came out 😂) - I have to wait for the soft cover releases to buy physical, cause all my other ACOTAR are soft cover, and I can't just, like, switch...

But yes, the anxiety is rough. I really enjoyed being able to go from book to book in ToG. The anxiety was still there, but it wasn't months and months of theories and fears. I mean, shit...I don't know how I would've survived if I'd had to wait two years after EoS for KoA...if it was only two years? (idk publishing dates for it 😂) Like, we all know this: I was CONVINCED Aedion was going to die, waiting 2 years to find out if I was right or wrong...oh man.

So, I get it. But, it's the life we lead as readers/book lovers. I have some series I am definitively waiting to be finished, but typically I only make that decision if it's either close to done or I have other reasons (i.e. Game of Thrones - everyone is so worried he won't finish it, and I'm not getting into a book series that doesn't get finished). The anxiety can be tough, but the suspense can make the new books all the better if they're good. 😊

#ask box #acotar #tog #reading #books

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books--andt · 7 years

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A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J Maas Review and Spoiler Discussion!!!

Hey everyone!! Raise your hand if you read and devoured ACOWAR and loved every stinking minute of it! *raises hand 1231434241 times*

Ahh the long awaited ACOWAR, the third and final book in this trilogy. But have no fear! SJM has announced that she will be writing more books set in this world, just not from Feyre's perspective. I CANNOT WAIT YOU GUYS.

To give some thoughts for my non spoiler readers... Sarah J Maas is a queen. Her writing is liquid gold. The way she describes courts, weather, clothing--everything was just beautiful. The character development, for not only Feyre and Rhys, but for other characters as well was through the roof and truly, honestly, makes you wish these characters were real because they FEEl real. They feel like they are your own friends and family and I ended up caring deeply for every one of them. And don't even get me started on Velaris. I WISH I LIVED THERE!

Read this book. This series. Read EVERYTHING by the queen- SARAH J MAAS!

***SPOILER TALK AHEAD***

Hey spoiler peeps! SO! Where do I even begin?? Feyre begins her story trapped yet again in the Spring court. I have to say, I really, really despised Tamlin all throughout this book. The fact that he didn't understand that he wasn't making Feyre happy, that he was trapping her, and that she left on her own FREE WILL made me so angry. It wasn't until the end of the book when I actually was like, ok, he's learned, he sort of redeemed himself. We'll get more into this later.

Once Feyre and Rhys were back together my heart grew three sizes. They are just perfect together. They spoke a lot more with their minds, being Daemati, and I thought this showed just how close the two of them are.

I freaking love Nesta. I feel like if you were to tell someone this who has only read ACOTAR they'd be pretty confused, but her character development, and Elain's too was just stunning. I love how Nesta has this tough attitude about her. She's the kind of person who would say, "you can say mean things about me. But insult my family and friends? You're dead."

And don't even get me started on her and Cassian!!!!!!!!!!! I SHIP!!!!! SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!! I was dying at the end of ACOMAF when she was being forced into that cauldron and Cassian was crawling for her, and calling her name. And then I was bawling YET AGAIN when the same thing was happening at the end of ACOWAR, when Nesta is about to kill the king of Hybern, having summoned the cauldrons powers, but is stopped short when the king breaks her fathers neck, killing him, and her powers are snuffed out. Meanwhile, Cassian is laying at her side, crawling towards her, his wings snapped and broken, telling her to leave him, to run, and she tells him that she CAN'T leave him. Oh my heart. When Nesta positioned herself in front of Cassian and he held her back, I was CERTAIN that Hybern was going to kill them and I was NOT ready. I was nearly bawling at this point. But thank the Mother!!! Elain!!!! She is exactly as SJM describes her as; a flower child, with flora in her mind and a hobby for gardening. But then she comes up behind Hybern and BOOM! Stabs him in the throat-- with the blade Azriel gave her nonetheless! This just proves how she isn't just a bystander, how she has faced trivialities, and hardships, and losses, and it has shaped her into who she is. I'm not trying to say that you need to kill someone to prove your strength, god no, but it was just SO SATISFYING when she stabbed the king and then hisses into his ear, "Don't you dare touch my sister." I DIED. And of course, Nesta gives the final twist of the blade that severs the kings head from his body. Just fulfilling that death promise that she made with her vulgar gesture before being fully submerged in the cauldron in ACMOAF. Loved it.

When Amren betrayed Feyre I was pissed, but only because I didn't understand what Amren intended to do. For a second I thought Amren was going to completely turn on her, and say she was fighting with Hybern, and had been this whole time. But then we realize that she just figured out the only way to stop him and his army is if she is transformed into her original body, the one that would make her forget who Feyre, Rhys, and the others are. It was a sad reality, but one they couldn't risk not having.

AND RHYS. OH. MY. GOD. When he died.... I think all of us readers died a little inside too. But it didn't actually hit me as hard as when I thought Cassian and Nesta were going to die. And that is simply because I didn't believe that SJM would kill Rhys off like that. She's a dreamer, and a lover, and I just couldn't accept that she would leave Feyre to live her immortal life without her mate! Where as for Cassian and Nesta... It just seemed like that could actually happen. Thank the Mother it did not!

The part that really killed me was when Feyre realizes Rhys is dead and is shouting, begging, for the other High Lords to do something to, "BRING HIM BACK." I was a blubbery mess. Until Tarquin, the youngest of the High Lords, steps forward and says to him, "For what he gave. Today and for many years before." And he is the first to give him an ounce of his power. This was so touching to me because Tarquin had sent them blood rubies, had thought them to be liars and thieves. But he then sees that it is not who they are, that they want peace just as he does. When all the other High Lords gave their powers I was really holding my hopes high, that Rhys would indeed survive. But then Tamlin... I was afraid he wouldn't give up his powers to Rhys, and poor Feyre Darling was begging him saying she would give him anything. And then my heart just broke further when he said to her, "Just be happy, Feyre." This is where he redeemed himself for me. That he FINALLY sees that Feyre is indeed happy with Rhys, as High Lady of the Night Court. And while he is still bitter about it probably, and is a real man-bitch to Lucien, I'm happy he at least accepts what Feyre desires now, and helped her to continue her happiness. I also thought it was neat to see the High lords give their powers to Rhys, gently pouring a bit of their magical light onto his bare throat. We didn't see this in ACMOAF since Feyre was dead so it was neat. But one thing that I'm questioning is just the whole process...If the seven High Lords can bring back the dead, why don't they do it all the time? I understand for a mortal they would be giving away their powers as they did to Feyre and they don't want that, but for a High Lord... Well, Rhys didn't steal any of their powers. So basically, if they can do this, the High Lords can never die and will always be able to come back to life, so long as they all agree upon it...Interesting. Unless there are some rules about this that we do not know of yet.

When Rhys awoke and Amren too was returned to them- that shocked me! I was-and still am- surprised that not a single one of the inner circle died or was sent back to where they came from. I'm not saying I wanted any of them too, but it all just seemed so... perfect to have them all end up back together. While Amren no longer has her abilities she had before, she is now High Fae and can maybe learn to train and fight as they would- if she even needs it. I also have to admit, that while I adore the little romances, I kind of prefer Amren on her own. She is just so independent and bad ass, so while I liked her with Varian, I'm not sure I want them to be mates.

AND MOR!!! Tell me that scene where she comes out to Feyre didn't kill you on the inside, splitting your heart into 1000 tiny pieces???? It all makes sense. Why she did what she did with Cassian to avoid being married to Eris, why she could never let herself be with Azriel because while it would mean close to nothing for her, as it had with previous men she'd been with, it would mean a lot to him. It just made my heart grow. And what made it grow even more was Feyre's reaction. She let Mor speak, and gave her the absolute most respect, understanding, and acceptance. I especially loved that she told Mor she wouldn't tell anyone, not even Rhys, which is SO important, because a gay or lesbian person should have the full right to declare the time and manner of when and to who they come out. I love that SJM incorporates this kind of diversity in her books. We also have Thesan, High Lord of the Dawn court who is gay and mated to his captain. Then there's Helion, High Lord of the Day court, who is bisexual. I adored these characters and loooooved learning about the courts more and meeting their High Lords. I really loved the descriptions of the Winter Court; the white foxes wearing little vests, the white bears, the long blue overcoats with white rabbit fur at the trims. And of course, Kallias and his wife Vivianne. I really adored them too.

And then we have those three beautiful monsters. The Bone Carver, the Weaver, and Bryaxis. I was SHOOK when Feyre realized that the Bone Carver was being seen to her as her and Rhys' possible future son. SHOOK I TELL YOU! And when Rhys quietly asked what he looked like and Feyre showed him with her mind... *heart breaks 1213344123 more times*

I was sad when he died, surprisingly. I was never attached to the Bone Carver but... Just when Feyre said that she wishes that he goes to wherever it is he imagined, since he was so fascinated by death, and she sent a prayer to him... That part got me.

When Stryga, the Weaver died... Well I was sad but only because she was fighting for the good side. I think that character is so fascinating and creepy and just... That scene in the Weavers cottage in ACOMAF is one I'll never forget for sure. And when Feyre goes back there in ACOWAR, luring Ianthe and that other guy with her, omg SHOOK AGAIN!! Feyre knew not to close the door, knowing well it would lock, and pinned Ianthe inside while telling the Weaver she brought her dinner. What a vicious, deserving death for Ianthe. Good riddance.

And that poor Suriel... I wonder what it's name was. Feyre is honestly like a disney princess, having all the woodland animals like her and get along with her. She was so respectful to ask for Helion's cape and lay it overtop the Suriel. I feel like it is a debt that no other Suriel will ever not know of or forget. And their father!!! When he came with those ships, three of which were named after his daughters my heart was aching. It just bound their bond a bit tighter, since well, there wasn't really a bond between the four of them at all before. It showed that he is sorry for not being the father he wished he could be, but that he loved them dearly, and was now trying to make things right. He was not away on merchant business as they had thought, but had heard of the betrayal of the mortal queens and sought to find Vassa and Drakon and Myriam who Lucien then brought to the battle. When he died... I mean, I wasn't super connected to him, nor were his three daughters I have to say, but it was indeed sad, just because he was there, fighting for them, loving them even as they were Fae.

And Jurian?? Thank goodness he was on the good side. I'd like to learn more about him as well as Drakon and Myriam. Their stories weren't the most interesting to me, but still I'd like to know more!

While this book surely closed some ties- more so with Rhys and Feyre. I am SO happy they live happily together, laying over Velaris. Although I'm sure they will be facing a little more turmoil in the books to come. What with the mortal queens never showing up to war and all.

Gawd I wonder what's in store for us next??? I'm hoping we see more from the inner circle. I want to see Mor happy with a girlfriend, to have her father either accept it or just be completely thrown out of the picture (good riddance again) and to have Azriel know so that he doesn't think anything is wrong with him. MAN I loved him in this book. He's so shy and mysterious and just... *heart eyes* I also hope he finds a lover-not that you need a lover to be happy but... you know. I kind of like him and Elain together... Anyone else?? I mean, he gave her his SWORD!!!! TRUTH TELLER!!! I know that Elain and Lucien are mates and all, but I said in my review of ACOMAF that it seemed to come out of now where, and it certainly didn't seem to click into place in this book. Elain did not accept the mating bond, nor did she make him food, and she hardly ever spoke to him. If anything, I think they could be friends. Perhaps this will be an example of how the mating bond is not always right, since it's somewhat connected to bearing the strongest offspring, but there's waaaaaay more to a relationship than that of course. Maybe Lucien will find some other lover/mate? I've heard others thoughts of him possibly being with Vassa?? I wonder if Feyre will free her of her firebird curse; Firebird by day, normal female by night.

I also want to see what happens with Nesta and Cassian. Because I SHIP IT SO HARD, MAN. I also want to see if Amren and Varian do end up together or not. It did indeed break my heart when Varian was pleading with Feyre and Amren saying no to her going into the cauldron. But still... Amren is so strong and sassy she can be a bad ass High Fae all on her own without any man.

AND UMMM Lucien is related to Helion!!!!!!!!!!! It all makes sense... He doesn't look like any of his brothers or his father, and this would explain why his fathers and brothers hate him so much. His mother had an affair with Helion, who doesn't even know that Lucien is his son!! How will this play out??? Will Lucien find out somehow? Will he be told? Will Helion discover it?? ORRRR!!!!! Will Helion die, and then boom the new High lord of the Day Court is Lucien and he didn't even know.... THAT would be a shock for him to say the very least.

Also can we talk about the glorious fan art???? It's basically exactly as I picture the Inner Circle to look. Charlie Bowater is seriously talented. Her recent work has Cassian in a man bun-- Like Guys COME ON!!! *heart eyes x 1000* I seriously need the colouring books now, both ACOTAR and ToG. I neeeeeed themmmmmm.

And speculation on an ACOTAR movie??? I mean HELL TO THE YES but the casting would need to be spot on AND it would have to be really, really true to the books. Not holding anything back just to make it suitable for all audiences. War is bloody. War is brutal. It can't be toned down. And for the sexy time scenes well... Maybe it would be sort of like an HBO show ;)

WELL. That was a long one. I love Sarah J MAAS' books. I always thought I loved Throne Of Glass so much more... but now they are pretty even. I can't wait for the next instalments, although it is going to be VERY difficult to wait all the way until 2018 for them. In the meantime... Guess I'll just be rereading them and reading up on some theories for the latter books! What are yours??? I've read some theories for connections between the ToG and ACOTAR universe and it's mind blowing guys, mind blowing.

1000/5 Stars on glorious Star Fall in Velaris. *sighs* Now on to bingeing all the ACOWAR reviews, and perhaps buying an ACOTAR universe themed candle, while I remain in what may just be my largest book hangover yet.... although EoS did give me a huge one too.

What are your thoughts on ACOWAR? I'd LOOOOOVEEE to know and talk all about it! Send me a message or reply to this chat!

As always, thanks for reading.

- T

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