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do-you-know-this-queer-character · 1 day

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Updates, Apologies, and Moving Forward!

Hello everyone! I am not dead, and this blog is not dead. I know I've been gone for a very long time again, and I'm very sorry.

I had to say goodbye to my cat, my emotional support animal, my baby. I won't say too much here, but she was suffering, and unfortunately there was nothing that could be done. My mental health is fragile at the best of times, and while I am okay and safe, it has been a difficult few months for me. I am also a full-time college student with a job, so all of my free hours were spent in grief. It's taken me a while to feel alright enough to come back, but here I am. I'm still passionate about queer representation in media, and I want to continue to share queer characters with the tumblr community. Starting tomorrow, I will resume the 8 times a day posting schedule that I was starting to utilize before my disappearance, as queueing posts makes my life much easier. I'm sorry if I don't respond to notes or asks left during my break. It's a lot to sort through and I value community engagement on this blog more than anything but I am just one person and I can only do so much. Feel free to re-send asks! Going forward, I'll be making a few changes. I am working on a publicly available google sheet of all characters that have been posted on this blog with results that I will link in a visible place so that people wanting to submit a character can (hopefully) quickly search to make sure that character hasn't been posted yet. I also will eventually be looking for another mod, although that will not be until the summer and I will make more posts when the time comes. I will personally be awol for the last few weeks of may and the first few weeks of june due to a job opportunity out of the country, but I am intending to have queued posts continuing to upload at the regular schedule during that time. Unfortunately this means I won't be able to edit mistakes or answer questions, but hopefully any issues can be addressed when I return. Thank you all for your patience, I'm sorry that this radio silence has gone on for so long, but I've thought about this blog a lot during my absence and I'm certain that it's not a project I'm giving up on any time soon.

#update #not a poll

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janitorhutcherson · 1 day

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Groceries, Taxes, & Laundry (MSchmidt Fluff)

hey guys, it's me. i'm finally back. did y'all miss me? the writing of this is a lil diff, sooooo please enjoy and lmk what you think!

content: pure fluff yall.

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Grocery shopping with Mike Schmidt is… special, to say the least. He absolutely despises it. The dreaded time comes around at the end of every week, your vegetables in the fridge starting to wilt, the meat from the previous trip used up, and all of your snacks have been devoured from late night munchie runs to the pantry (xoxo i love gardening!!!). He knows it has to happen. He knows you’ll wake him up early on Sunday morning like always, because apparently it’s “better to get it out of the way,” which he thinks is, well, to put it lightly, utter bullcrap.

You’ll drag him and Abby out to your local grocery store, her drowsy and jittery all at the same time with the promise of pancakes from a local diner after. Once you arrive, you’ll pull out all of the far-too-expensive reusable bags out of the trunk of Mike’s dingy car, ready to fill them with the necessities. Why get those for 3 bucks when you can get the plastic ones for free? He’ll never understand your logic, something about saving the environment, but it’s okay, he loves you enough not to complain, at least out loud.

The fluorescent lights of the room filled with half asleep employees hits Mike’s eyes like he’s looking directly into the sun. He lets out a small grumbled sigh as he takes in the scent of sterile cleaning supplies and produce mixed in one, with the strange almost play doh like smell of the bakery. Your eyes cut over to him, eyebrows raised, Abby’s hand in yours as she rubs her droopy eyes. Mike can’t help but to crack a small smirk, his lips pursed together. “What?” he’ll question innocently, letting out a small snicker as you go deeper into the dreary establishment.

At the produce aisle, Mike shivers a little as the water from the misting sprinkler on the shelves hits his bare skin. He should’ve worn his jacket today, he usually does, and he’s regretting the one time he hasn’t. Your eyes are glancing over carrots, broccoli, cucumbers, and squash, all that are somehow both too ripe and too.. What's the word... unripe? Sure, he’ll go with that. His hand reaches out to grip yours in a gentle grasp as Abby points to a particularly fluffy bushel of broccoli. “I want that one! It looks like pretty trees,” she giggles out, finally starting to wake with the day. You let out a giggle of your own and Mike smiles because of how pretty your laugh is.

Next, you’re in the snack aisle, filling the cart with doritos, barbeque chips, pringles, salt and vinegar chips (mike gags when you eat them too close to him), peanut butter filled pretzels, whatever can go in Abby’s lunch box and whatever is tastiest. Mike insists on buying the cheap queso, his nose scrunching up at the price of the name brand one. He knows it doesn’t taste any different.

Now you’re looking at meats, finding chicken breasts and filets, steaks, pork, whatever was on your list from meal prepping. Yes, meal prepping, Mike did that now. Apparently stable people with stable lives who had stable relationships did that. He’d grown fond of sitting over a recipe book with you on Saturday nights, really, shoulder to shoulder, pressed up on the couch well after Abby had gone to bed. Something about it felt safe, a kind of domestic feeling he wasn’t used to.

You’re basically done now, and he couldn’t be more relieved as you make your way towards the dairy section. He grabs a few things, string cheese, yogurt, cream cheese, cheese slices for sandwiches for work. Oh, did he mention he works in construction now? It’s stable, makes good money, and he’s home on time to see you, to be a husband-not-yet-husband (he plans to propose soon, but that’s another story), a brother-more-like-a-father, a person with a regular schedule. He looks over at you, watching as you and Abby skim over the different selections of chocolate and strawberry milk, finally settling on a carton of strawberry. He once again scrunches his nose, smiling all at once. “Nasty,” he mumbles out. Abby playfully hits his arm and you lean in for a kiss.

Finally, thank god, you push the cart towards the bakery section, grabbing bread and a sweet treat or two for the week. Cookies, a birthday cake for no particular reason, cheese danishes, whatever his little family was feeling for the week, that’s what it’d be. This week, it was a huge box of chocolate chip cookies and some kind of cherry pastry he’d never had before. You three finally head to checkout, where everything is stuck in those stupid reusable bags and the price of everything you got feels obscenely huge for what’s in your cart, but he pays it anyway. Walking to the car, in the trunk the groceries go as you all climb in one by one, ready to head for pancakes.

As he reverses the car out of his good (only because it was so goddamn early) parking spot, he can’t help but sigh, this time with contentment as Abby rambles on about a new imaginary (hopefully) friend, your own grin wide as you ask questions, making sure she feels heard. “I love you guys, love doing things with you guys,” Mike mumbles out, reaching his hand over to your thigh as he glances back at Abby too. And it was true, he’d do anything with you two. Hell, if all his life consisted of grocery shopping, taxes, and laundry? Yeah, he’d be ok with that too.

#mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt fluff #mike schmidt smut #mike schmidt #mike schmidt fic #mike schmidt blurb #josh hutcherson #josh hutcherson smut #josh hutcherson fluff #josh hutcherson x reader #mike schmidt imagine #josh hutcherson imagine #josh hutcherson fanfic

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seatoss · 2 years

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I played Alttp & LA HD for the first time this year and they were both GREAT!

When I picked the first one up I was kind of worried that I wouldn’t be able to appreciate the classic. I’ve played 2D games before but it’s been many years since I’ve touched one. I’ve also primarily grown up with 3D games, especially where Zelda’s concerned. Ironically though, that’s probably why the experience it created for me felt so special. It’s old with it’s own brand of challenges, and yet I really wasn’t expecting how much it would move me all throughout my playthrough. I was already giddy by all the charming details and character, so discovering just how deeply this game and it’s sequel has obviously inspired all the Zelda games I grew up playing with? I was floored. It all suddenly clicked and it was like discovering something old and completely brand new all at once.

I enjoyed both games so much. There’s so many characters and scenes that caught my imagination and that has been calling me to draw. For now, here are some illustrations of Link in the mountain regions of the first game. The Bully and Gumball in particular (and as I like to call them) were some of my favorite character encounters. It must of been so surreal for Link to run into them only briefly after getting turned into a rabbit. They were a really amusing pair, and it was really fun trying to reimagine them!

#a link to the past #legend of zelda #alttp #loz #bunny link #bully and gumball #lost old man #my art #fan art #I'm back to working a regular work schedule #should of anticipated how severely that would impact my art time #having the summer off made me forget how tough it gets to work on personal stuff during the rest of the year hhhh #I wanted to wait to post these until after I finished another related piece that I've mentioned in previous tags but #might not be ready for a while. So have these early. Probably should of just posted them sooner anyhow #Hey! so here's a fun fact:#Bunny feet look NOTHING like a dog's or cat's. They aren't padded at all and are actually just as fluffy as the rest of the bunny!#Found this out almost immedietly after posting a drawing including a rabbit and the truth has been eating me alive #I think I've only ever seen a rabbit once or twice in person. And never up close. How was I to know? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#But you think I would of noticed what with all the bunny photos I was looking at. smh big fail on my part #So yea anyway that's why Twi Bunny still has canine feet and this Bunny Link's got pillowy toesies

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purpleghoul87 · 6 months

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What they say vs what they mean : Afton edition

Hi so this is back from September but I literally forgot to post it... so here :)

#I'm trying to get back to a regular posting schedule <3 #yes! I do have an essay I should be working on... how do you know?#fnaf #five nights at freddy's #my art #michael afton #william afton #fnaf mike #fnaf art #mike afton #fnaf michael afton #william afton fnaf #fnaf william afton #william and michael #michael and william #father and son #the aftons #five nights at freddys #william fnaf

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not-poignant · 1 month

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Hi Pia

Your previous post regarding burnout really resonates with me as I'm currently struggling through a mountain's worth of uni assignments.

I hopeyou're being compassionate to yourself where you can. I know you rely on your writing for income but ould cutting down to working on only 2 or 3 fics instead be a viable solution?

Because longterm I don't think that even your insanely impressive skills can hold up to that kind of pressure.

Maybe if you cut back a little you'll be able to enjoy your hobbies again and rest a little more.

I know that I'm not the only reader that wants you to take care of yourself x

Hi anon,

Firstly, good luck with all those assignments! I do not miss the grind of uni when all the assignments suddenly seem due at the same time and it's like 'oh fuck' and it just...is truly exhausting. Remember to take a break after if you can!

I am trying to be compassionate where I can. Working on expanding my capacity / juice left in the tank is actually a big priority with both therapists this year, and it's something I'm actively chipping away at.

Unfortunately cutting down fics is not really something I can do because it would personally stress me out more to put a lot of things on hiatus like that. Underline the Red is already on hiatus, and The Nascent Diplomat on my end is finished, and I'll take a few months off after that before starting the next installment.

Ideally I will be finishing out some fics that will clear my calendar a bit more over time. For example, A Stain that Won't Dissolve won't last forever, and isn't going to be replaced by anything new (Palmarosa will likely slot into that space and I'll be able to work on it more). Underline the Black will be replaced by Underline the Red, and Blue and Gold will be replaced by Underline the Silver.

Eventually, ideally, I'll be working on a smaller and smaller load until I'm at about 2-4 projects (which is how I used to work). Also quite a few of my projects only update once a month or every few months, and that helps a lot. It's just that I have too many fics where I'm on a more regular schedule (Stain, Palm, Black) and normally I only have one or two fics that are on a more regular schedule, so yeah, I am looking forward to that slowing down!

But putting something on hiatus just makes me feel more burdened and overwhelmed than knowing I'm getting closer and closer to wrapping something up. It's just how my brain works! I am a finisher, and while that's really good for not abandoning projects (which is extremely rare for me and tends to only be very short projects or PWPs which I will turn away from), it's less good when I have too many projects lmao. I've gotten better at holding back (there's three fics I'm dying to write right now, which is an Efnisien/Kadek fic that I've already started but not posted anything of, Silver, and Red).

So yeah, I will be cutting back. I've already started. The Nascent Diplomat is no longer on my schedule, which means for the next 3 months while it's still posting, I don't have to write anything for it. That's lovely because I can still share in that world with no extra labour (it's edited and everything). Likewise, Stain and Black are both in their last act/s now. That's still a lot of chapters for both, but it feels good for me to know that both will likely be finished out this year.

But we are getting there! So yeah the view is to cut down on projects, but organically (by finishing out stories and not replacing every single one with new titles, only some of them) rather than forcefully via hiatuses. I mean obviously if I get too sick I will have to go on hiatus and I've done that before, but so far it's looking like I've written enough chapters ahead (most of May is written) that I can take about 2 weeks off from writing in April, and that will help a great deal as well. :)

Anyway, take care with your assignments too! I do not miss that part of uni at all

#asks and answers #personal #pia on writing #i have actually enjoyed stories where i only update once a month #like constellations and TND #as well as something more regular like Black #and something a bit different like Blue and Gold #a big problem - which is frankly a lovely problem to have - is that i'm so *excited* to work on all these stories truly #none of them bore me or disinterest me #even the ones i'm not working on right now #i'm so enthusiastic about all of them #i just need to get better at patience which my ADHD brain finds frustrating #but i am getting there!#just getting TND finished feels lovely #like bittersweet but also lovely #and it will continue to feel that way as i shave off at the schedule #to get back to something more human #i appreciate you anon - make sure you're taking care

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little-pup-pip · 2 months

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hihi! srry if youve answers this but mobile isnt making it easy to search. what's your general process for making moodboards? it's weird bc I have nooo problem making stim boards! but mbs are rly difficult for my brain evn though I wanna. how do you do it?

Hello hello! I haven't answered this before, but it's a great question!!

I usually start with either an original idea or a request that I feel like doing (sorry people who've been waiting a long time), and at that point I usually have some idea in my head of the color scheme or vibes that I want it to have and set out to Pinterest!

I gave my list of go-to items to search in a previous ask, which can be found here!

Once I've found at least 9 pictures (sometimes more than 9 for extra options) I crop them all to a 1:1 ratio so they appear as a grid of squares instead of rectangles, and sometimes make minor alterations to the color temperature (warm or cool tones) so the pictures all look coherent!

After that I play around with the composition of the picture, which can take a while depending on how many colors I'm working with. Here are 2 examples of what I mean!

This one has 2 main focus colors (as most of my moodboards do), green and brown, so the composition of it alternates between the two colors the whole time! I would also do this if it had 3 main colors. This just makes it look more even overall; to me, at least.

This one, on the other hand, is just 1 focus color, which is grey! So I didn't worry as much about the composition of it. I could move anything here to any other place, and it would be approximately the same! I treat moodboards with more than 3 focus colors the same way as moodboards with just 1, so those are less deliberately structured.

After all of that, I choose which dni banner I think fits best with what I made, write my tags out, and I'm done!! This process usually takes 20 minutes to an hour and a half, depending on how long it takes me to find the right pictures!

I hope this walkthrough of my process was helpful, and obviously there's no singular correct way to make moodboards!! Good luck Anon!

#i have Internet again!#i think I'm going to just get back to my regular schedule tomorrow #anyway #this was fun!!#my process is pretty rigid #i do it basically the same way every time #sometimes it's time consuming other times it's not #i don't have much time to work on original ideas these days #though i do still make some #anyway i really hope this helps you!#if you can make stimboards your page is already so different from mine!!#i can't make them #despite popular demand #this got so long #again #whoops #Pip's barks

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allylikethecat · 2 months

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Chapters: 20/? Fandom: The 1975 (Band) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: George Daniel/Matthew Healy Characters: Matthew Healy, George Daniel, Ross Macdonald, Adam Hann, Jamie Oborne Additional Tags: Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Past Drug Addiction, Mpreg Summary:

Matty lied, which was probably a mistake since he was a shit liar on a good day, and today wasn’t a good day. He was much better at just, not saying anything, even though his therapist had told him that was really just lying by omission. He couldn’t meet Jamie’s eyes, and knew he was sweating nervously. He was hyper aware that he could feel the wand in his back pocket.

.

Just like in the bathroom after the show, two parallel lines stared back at him, confirming deep down what he already knew. The test was positive.

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liones-s · 2 years

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07/12/22: today’s study mood: a little sun filtering through the library windows

#I'm getting back into a regular work schedule and it's been really helpful #even though it's taking a lot of willpower to focus #I'm hoping that I can go through my work quickly and have time to do some writing #I was feeling stagnant for a while but I can feel the writing coming in a little #and I'm ready #studyblr #productivity #study spaces #motivation #academia #u of t #university of toronto #literature student #study motivation

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aewrie · 8 months

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'once a week or more' well rip

my default state of being when i'm not having a bad day is a little tired & nursing a budding headache. i have a headache right now that i'm ignoring

is this going to be another of those 'there is no such thing as a 'mild' concussion, if you hit your head bad enough to black out it is a concussion' lmao???

i get headaches from fucking everything. weather/air pressure (low and high). low/high blood sugar or too rapid changes there. too bright/dim light (at home i am specific about my lights/curtains at different points of the day/depending on how bright it's outside to avoid these). rapid repetitive/jarring physical motions (just jumping a little can be enough/make it worse). muscle tension. doing stretching/exercise that gets blood really flowing. lack of and/or bad sleep, or too much sleep. getting (strongly) emotional. caffeine (a new exiting one! only started regularly drinking coffee fairly recently. how much caffeine is too much is a fucking mystery though). i should wear glasses (myopia, not too severe) but i avoid it unless i need to see that far that well in part bc the glasses pressing on my temples give me headaches more easily than my eyes being slightly tired does.

i'm probably forgetting a bunch more

but every time i've seen people describe migraines i've thought well mine aren't anywhere near that severe/those specific kinds of headaches so No Way it's that

but. i do have other symptoms on that list? i just never thought it might be related to my headaches bc i'd not seen those mentioned, at least not in a way that i could identify as something i should consider in connection to this, and there's always the huge stress that migraines are always extra super bad to the point that a Real migraine completely disables you for a while. while to me it's. it's annoying, it hurts, if it's particularly bad it can make things more difficult but not impossible/near impossible; just, a general It's Not That Bad, therefore normal and i should just deal with it

#i should probably try to keep a diary of this crap for a while #i am looking at additional symptom lists from should-be-reliable sources and it's not looking great #yourebablingjulle #best part is i actually mentioned this offhand to a doctor once a few years back while discussing other stuff and he basically went #yeah it's normal some people just get headaches more easily #not sure how i phrased it or if he understood how frequent my headaches are #work stress definitely contributes so it's gotten worse since that time period tho #i often avoid painkillers or strategically schedule taking them bc otherwise i'm having them near constantly #most notably i might bear through a few hours of a semi-bad one if i know i need it later to be able to sleep ok #(not too common but it happens)#bc at their worst they do fuck with my already sketchy ability to sleep #melatonin thankfully works for me and it is a lifesaver #one other thing i know works is acupuncture but one session costs almost as much as a year's supply of melatonin and that Not affordable #(i had ~a year while recovering from depression/burnout where i could have ear acupuncture done weekly without having to pay for it #figured that if nothing else i get to chill for a bit on a regular basis. scheduled no-stress time.#when the nurse was unavailable at times and couldn't do it i realized i slept noticeably better when i got my ears poked regularly)

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queerstudiesnatural · 7 months

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the sex education ep about disability rep and accessibility has me bawling on the floor i'm a fucking mess. FINALLY. finally we're talking about this.

watching all the students have a sit-in until the lift gets fixed made me break down crying like oof. ok. yeah 😭

#i was literally just thinking this morning that with all the queer rep we've been getting recently #we're still cruelly lacking in disabled rep #and whenever we do get disabled characters they're usually magically fine and integrated into society perfectly #like with eileen from supernatural. they never talk about how alienating it is not to be able to understand half of what's going on around u #somehow she can magically read lips even in dark environments or when they're mumbling/turning away from her #other characters around her don't or barely make the effort to sign #i can't even think of a single visually impaired character off the top of my head #definitely none with my specific impairment #and characters in wheelchairs are usually just there in the background #with no insight into what daily life in our ableist society is like #not to mention chronic pain rep/people who aren't in wheelchairs but do need a cane #or who get tired so fast that they cannot keep a regular school/work schedule #like where is our rep?? when are we gonna start talking about how impossible life is when nothing is made to accommodate you?#anyway good for sex education #i needed to take a break from the episode bc it was so overwhelming #in a good way!!!!#i'm gonna get back to it now #rain posts

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ereborne · 11 days

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Song of the Day: April 15

"Something in the Way She Moves" by James Taylor

#song of the day #it's been two weeks + two days since the last song of the day #the issue is you see that I started the songs up again in December because my insomnia was fucking up my perception of time #and I wanted some kind of regular marker to help me keep track #and then what happened two weeks + two days ago is that I lost all track of time and subsequently the songs of the day failed #I'm gonna see if I can keep up again for a bit now that I've re-restarted without an alarm on my phone #but if I miss any this week I'll just give in and turn the alarm back on #updates from the last two weeks are going to sound so chaotic let's see #I got a new project at work /and/ I got demoted /and/ I got added to a higher access level /and/ I'm in charge of a new database #yes all of those things together. I'm to be an accountant now! not instead but in addition to my other stuff. should be interesting #I didn't get April Fools off like I was scheduled to because all my scheduled vacation got unapproved #(I was here for about twenty nonsequential minutes to boop people and I'm glad I made time for it. extremely fun to boop)#I lied shamelessly to get eclipse day off and we went on a full-day roadtrip and it was wonderful. everything I dreamed and more #I killed one of my baby succulents through clumsiness and rabbits ate my pea plants but my sage and cabbages look promising #got a massive pot of mint flourishing on my porch and the horseradish is gorgeous #got Duncan lights and plants and a filter system for his frog tank but we haven't set up the substrate yet #so there's just potted plants sitting inside a terrarium. very amusing honestly #I've been playing a little Stardew and eating a /lot/ of hot sauce and tofu #drinking tons of klass aguas frescas--especially the soursop one. holy shit is it good. the mango and hibiscus also #and these past few days I've been sleeping better #for most of those two weeks I was getting a handful of twenty-minute naps each workday and then crashing unwillingly on the weekend #I haven't read any comic books since February :'( this weekend we're going to costco and then I'm reading comics until Monday #what have y'all been up to? I've missed being around #edit: oh shit the actual song part. anyway this is James Taylor! makes me happy and helps me settle. good vibes songs #I'm half-panicked about work all the time recently and then also today was tax day (Nick's taxes. blegh)#James Taylor doing some heavy lifting round here

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bigs-bigshot · 7 months

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Waiters, but the food they're all presenting is for themselves only.

#spamtum #bîg's art #bîg's regular au #bîg's fem curves au #bîg's green au #I'm back to my work schedule so I won't be as 'fast' as I was this summer but I WILL keep doing stuff.#wg

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lunaetis · 10 months

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[ two more days ... two more days and i'll be free. ]

#.ooc #.mobile #[ the event goes on during saturday & sunday too so yup i'm working this weekend #my sore throat is still killing me & i think i have a fever #going to take meds for them then head to the event #i feel half-dead but two more days to go ..#and i can be free #by free i mean returning back to regular work schedule but still !#I WANT THIS TO BE OVER ALREADY I FEEL LIKE A VEGGIE ]

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sabraeal · 1 year

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💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

If You Dare! My hakizana fics are not usually SUPER popular, but they tend to garner at least a little interest, but that one didn't even get a blip 🤣Too bad, that one was going to get smutty in the next chapter or two. ONE DAY.

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

That would be To My Esteemed Enemy with three whole kudos, which is both surprising and not, because it's a fic with a pairing that is more popular than my main ship in that fandom, but it 1) doesn't have any ship content in it yet, 2) is using canon characterization of Kazama, which displeases the people who want him to be a sexy villain and also the people who want him to be a uwu good boy trying his best. It's easy to say something nice about this, because I spent HOURS poring over Hakuouki lore to get this into shape and was SO PLEASED with the results. It just needs a few more chapters to really find an audience, I think, but I don't have the time right now to put my effort into it.

#asks #meme #fic meme #my posting schedule was so regular over the last year that i really lost any sort of idea of what was popular at all #because i would post something and then everyone was so used to something being posted #that they'd sit on it instead of like...ravenously reading it and commenting in the hopes that I'd come back to it #so when stuff made no splash i wouldn't even notice until weeks later when I was looking through stats #usually just to find a fic i needed to reference #and i'd be like oh okay hm that's data #when not even popular stuff gets a lot of movement it doesn't hit you so hard when other stuff doesn't either #it's been weird this year because i haven't been able to post weekly due to life getting in the way #this is cold and snow season and it makes my writing days very spotty and i'm trying to just go with the flow on it #so when i DO post something there's like an EXPLOSION of activity #it's been interesting to see how when you regularly post no one say anything unless you miss an update #but when there's no promise of an update to come suddenly everything you post is much more valuable in people's heads #i have fics in other fandoms with SUPER rare pairs #and they really only get updates once every two months because i focus more on ANS #and like those chapters just explode on contact now. everyone comments and wants to talk about the characters and what's going on #and now that i'm really only posting ANS every 2-3 weeks it's starting to be the same here too #just SUPER interesting how the human brain works when it comes to this stuff

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acesammy · 1 year

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this fucking hell that i’m living in is really making me miss that era of my depression where i would just sleep all the time

#i feel like that was objectively a worse mental state for me #bc i do not nap #it makes me feel like shit and i've literally always had a deep hatred of the fact that se need to sleep #but if i get to the state where i cannot engage with reality anymore #yeah #something is very very wrong #but now i'm in a stage where i cant fucking sleep #this is far more common but bc i have a regular sleep schedule for work #it means no matter what #i /will not sleep past 7 am/#i had a HELL day 2 weeks ago where i stayed up for almost 24 hours #running on 3 hours of sleep the night before #and i STILL fucking woke up 4 goddamn hours after i fell asleep #at 7 am #and i always wake up with so much FUCKING anxiety #that i cant get back to sleep #i think i could count on one hand the amount of nights i've gotten more than 6 hours of sleep in the last month #and usually that would be whatever #but i'm also so fucking sad ALL of the time #bc i am not handling things very well #i feel trapped #and alone #and i feel like i will NEVER get what normal adults got at fucking 15 #and whatever whatever whatever whatever #and all of this is worse bc i cannot FUCKING SLEEP #anyways #on the bright side the only time i can convince myself that i'm not horrifically depressed #is when i'm drawing #so i have been drawing a Lot #at least theres that

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madness-of-void · 12 days

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Once again, I am saving the asses of my coworkers when it comes to the horrid delivery company that we use and. I. Am. PISSED.

#life crap #void talks #nic talks #why am i the ONLY one capable of realizing when a delivery driver has not picked up?#whyyyyy?!#like... I'm still sick and not running on all cylinders #so how the fuck am i the only one that notices?#oh right #coz i do half the fucking work here #*screams*#anyways...yeah #back to the regular schedule

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