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iwanthermidnightz · 10 months

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When I think back on the Speak Now album, I get a lump in my throat. I have a feeling it will always be that way, because this period of time was so vibrantly aglow with the last light of the setting sun of my childhood. I made this album, completely self-written, between the ages of 18 and 20. I've spoken about how I feel like those ages are the most emotionally turbulent ones in a persons life. Maybe when I say that, I'm really just talking about myself.

I think they might just be the most idealistic, hopeful years too. At this point in my life, I had released my second album, Fearless. It became the breakthrough moment I'd always dreamt of, one that catapulted my career to new realms of success. It had brought with it a tidal wave of pressures and pitfalls and growing pains. All the while, I was encountering the milestones and checkpoints of normal teenage growth. I had cataclysmic crushes and brushes with heartache. I moved out of my parents' house and set my bags down in a new apartment. I hung photos on my own walls and decorated the space where I would sob and cackle and shatter and dream. Sometimes I felt like a grown up, but a lot of the time I just wanted to time travel back to my childhood bed, where my mom would read stories to me until I fell asleep.

In my darker moments, I was tormented by the doubt that swirled loudly around my ascent and my merits as an artist. I was trying to create a follow up to the most awarded country album in history, while staring directly into the face of intense criticism. I had been widely and publicly slammed for my singing voice and was first encountering the infuriating question that is unfortunately still lobbed at me to this day: does she really write her songs? Spoiler alert: I really, really do.

In the years since, I've developed a thicker skin about public criticism and the cynicism with which some people approach the music I make. At that time, it leveled me. I had these voices in my head telling me that I had the perfect chance and I blew it. I hadn’t been good enough. I had given it all I had and been found wanting.

I wanted to get better, to challenge myself, and to build on my skills as a writer, an artist, and a performer. I didn't want to just be handed respect and acceptance in my field. I wanted to earn it. To try and confront these demons, I underwent extensive vocal training and made a decision that would completely define this album: I decided I would write it entirely on my own. I figured, they couldn't give all the credit to my cowriters if there weren't any. But that posed a new challenge: It really had to be good. If it wasn't, I would be proving my critics right.

I had no idea how much this pain would shape me. That this was the beginning of my series of creative choices made by reacting to setbacks with defiance. That my stubbornness in the face of doubters and dissenters would become my coping mechanism through my entire career from that point forward. This exact pattern of enacting my own form of rebellion when I feel broken is exactly why you're reading these very words, and I'm re-releasing this album now.

I went through my first worldwide scandal (the mic grab seen around the world). I experienced the weirdness of trying to get to know a boy while a swarm of paparazzi surrounds the car. Media contacting my publicist for an official statement on why two teenagers broke up. These are weird experiences to have at any age, but even more surreal when you're 19.

I had the nagging sense that in the most intense moments of my life, I had frozen. I had said nothing publicly. I still don't know if it was out of instinct, not wanting to seem impolite, or just overwhelming fear. But I made sure to say it all in these songs. I decided to call the album Speak Now. It was a play on the speak now or forever hold your peace' moment in weddings, but for me it symbolized a chance to respond to the chatter and commentary around my own life.

Some of these emotional revelations were surprising to people. Some expected anger and instead got compassion and empathy with 'Innocent'. Some expected a kiss-off breakup song but instead got a hand-on-heart apology, 'Back to December. It was an album that was the most precious to me because of its vast extremes. It was unfiltered and potent. In my mind, the saddest song I've ever written is 'Last Kiss'. My most scathing is 'Dear John' and my most wistfully romantic is 'Enchanted'.

I'll be forever proud of setting a goal and seeing it through. I'lI always feel shivers all over when I remember singing 'Long Live' to close the show every night on tour. The outstretched hands of those bright and beautiful faces of the fans. Their support was like an open palm that reached out and helped me up off the ground when others were, frankly, mean.

These days I make my choices for those people, the ones who thought I had been good enough all along. I try to speak my mind when I feel strongly, in the moment I feel it. I'm still idealistic and earnest about the music I make, but I'm less crushed when people mock me for it. I know now that one of the bravest things a person can do is create something with unblinking sincerity, to put it all on the line. I still sometimes wish I was a little kid again in a tiny bed, before I ever grew up.

I always looked at this album as my album, and the lump in my throat expands to a quivering voice as I say this. Thanks to you, dear reader, it finally will be.

I consider this music to be, along with your faith in me, the best thing that's ever been mine.

Yours,

Taylor

#taylor swift #speak now (taylor’s version)#speak now tv #sntv prologue #speak now taylor’s version #sntv

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wilbursoot-updates · 7 months

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Lovejoy: The British rock group that we will have to follow very closely…

Lovejoy is in this article!

Rock is not dead! Lovejoy explores the nuances of independent, almost garage rock, while breathing a breath of fresh air.

Just a year ago, they played their first concert. This summer, Lovejoy performed on stage at Rock Werchter. A real accomplishment for this English indie rock band.

Lovejoy was formed only two years ago, under the leadership of William Gold and Joe Goldsmith. The group was formed almost by chance: the two long-time friends met Mark (the drummer) on the Fiverr application and Ash (the bassist)… in the toilets of a burger restaurant.

They are releasing a brand new single this October 6, “Normal People Things”. Meet the group that intends to become the spearhead of English rock.

Before being in a band, you had your own solo project William. How is it different creating music alone, versus in a band?

William Gold: Oh, it's very different, especially in my lyrics. I often choose the safer option when writing for the band, because I'm a little afraid of what they will think of me. My solo music has always been very direct and sometimes a little too raw, whereas Lovejoy is a little more like my stream of thoughts converted into poetry, whereas my solo music is just my thoughts.

Do you think it's better or just different?

William Gold: I think it's better. Personally, I much prefer Lovejoy's lyrics to my solo music. I feel like it's just as personal, but it touches on different areas, areas that are a little less raw and acerbic.

For the instrumental part, you all compose together. How do you do?

Joe Goldsmith: I'm still figuring out how that process works... (laughs) I think we're still a pretty young band, so we haven't gotten to the point yet where we don't like each other anymore. So, everything is going pretty well. But as far as the process goes, I think it varies and we don't really have a strict definition of how to create a song. Sometimes it starts from a riff that Mark writes. Sometimes the starting point is an idea Will has for the lyrics… It's very random and we're trying to figure it out, because we want to be a little quicker.

You released an EP last May, what was your inspiration?

William Gold: Life in general, and all the experiences we've had. And my musical tastes personally evolved a lot during this period as well.

Joe Goldsmith: We started playing live a year ago, and I think that's definitely influenced the way we approach songs. We saw how the public reacted to certain parts of our music and we adapted our old catalog. We changed the songs slightly live to make them more exciting for the audience.

Is there a particular message you want to convey through your music?

William Gold: I just want people to dance. I want excitement. I want to convey honesty and passion.

Joe Goldsmith: I just want to inspire other people to take on creative projects. I want people to write songs, paint pictures, write poems...

William Gold: And they do!

Joe Goldsmith: Our fans are really very active and talented. We are constantly given amazing gifts. I have oil paintings in my house (portraits of us) that people have done. I have handmade sculptures, giant stuffed animals... That's my favorite thing about all of this: seeing that our ideas inspire other people.

Which song do you consider the most meaningful to you?

William Gold: I think “It’s All Futile!” is the one that is most personal to me. But of our latest songs, I think “Call Me What You Like” is the one I’m most proud of lyrically.

You have your own label. Is it important for you to have your own independence?

William Gold: Absolutely. Our independence is incredibly important. We're still trying to find our way in this industry. It's crazy to see how much support you need to do a lot of things, but also to see that you can do a lot of things yourself. And I feel like we're doing a good job of navigating the two. We are by no means a DIY band, but we want to do as much as possible ourselves.

What are the benefits of doing it yourself?

William Gold: Agency and freedom. And simply out of stubbornness! We don't want to give away our catalog when we can do so much on our own.

Joe Goldsmith: Once you cross that line, you won't really go back. You will never be independent again. So we're going to continue this as long as possible.

What sets you apart from other groups?

William Gold: I think it's our very strong connection with our fans.

Joe Goldsmith: I see other bands and other labels trying to make this...

William Gold: ...but we can't make it. We're lucky to have it and it's not something we did intentionally. It wasn't a marketing team that told us what to do, but we managed to create this heartfelt connection ourselves, and it's our most important priority to maintain, excite, and prioritize it above everything.

Joe Goldsmith: I try to do as much as I can to give back. I always do treasure hunts and secret competitions for our fans, to make sure they have a great time.

William Gold: I want to make sure that all of our concerts provide an option for people with less financial means. So, we have a messaging system where just ask to get tickets at half price (or even less). We do it at every concert where it’s possible. And when theaters refuse to do it, we try to find alternatives. It is essential to maintain our “fan base” at a high level.

#lovejoy #wilbur soot #joe goldsmith #normal people things #articles

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luna-rainbow · 7 months

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Do you think Bucky ever got any sleep during all his years of Hydra captivity? Or was it just wipe/kill/back in the freezer? I don't think cryostasis would be anything like normal restorative REM sleep.

Hello nonnie!! I have finally had a light-bulb moment for this ask (I'm sorry it's taken me like 7 months)

I've been going about it the wrong way, trying to research on sleep, when in actuality what I should have been researching is the brain under hypothermia. This is an observational study conducted in the 1980s looking at children undergoing induced hypothermia (lowering of body temperature) during cardiopulmonary bypass (sometimes required during major surgery). In summary, by the time the body temperature cooled to 18 degrees, all brain activity ceased. Sleep - consisting of non-REM and particularly REM - are associated with far more active brain waves. So nonnie, you are very correct in saying that Bucky, even with his super soldier abilities, unlikely ever got any "sleep" during cryostasis. (I'm sorry to all the ficcers that wrote Bucky dreaming during cryo but I think most people are happy to ignore this piece of science)

In terms of whether Bucky ever got "sleep", I think that is hard to say. Even normal soldiers might drive themselves to go without sleep for 36+ hours if required for a mission (heck, even hospital shifts go for 36 hours in some places). As a super soldier, Bucky might tolerate sleep deprivation for longer. This means missions like taking out the Starks - travelling from Russian and back - he might achieve in one sitting without sleeping in between (although I guess no one can stop him from dozing off on the plane).

I think one implied part of your question is "is it likely that Bucky was allowed out of the freezer for long enough periods at a time to need (and get) sleep"? I feel like that is unlikely, judging from the "he's been out of cryo for too long" line from CATWS. The timeline goes: day 1 Bucky makes assassination attempts daytime + night time against Fury / day 2 Steve makes a run down to Jersey arriving there at night / day 3 Bucky attacks Steve on the causeway and then we get the nighttime vault scene where Bucky is "unstable". Even if we add a day or two prior to allow for prepping, that still means Bucky becomes "unstable" and questions his identity within a bare week of being out of cryo.

Credit @lost-shoe (this post)

Now onto the angst...we know anaesthetics is not like restful sleep, so theoretically neither is cryostasis. While the science of cryostasis doesn't exist at the moment, we know from artificial hypothermia in surgical situations that it puts incredible stress on the body and all its organs. Looking at the laboratory derangements during hypothermia it looks like it pushes the body over to anaerobic metabolism and causes lactate to go up. You know when you go for a run and your muscles cramp up because you haven't warmed up enough? That's because your muscles have produced too much lactate from anaerobic metabolism. So...no wonder Bucky can't stand when he comes out of the cryo chamber. It also increases one's bleeding risk and reduces one's healing speed, so take of that what you will for your Whumptober prompts 😂

I also wonder whether, because the brain is not receiving any REM sleep during cryo, it means Bucky has been in a constant state of sleep deprivation for the last 70 years. The theory of "prefrontal vulnerability" in sleep deprivation proposes that functions like language, executive functions, divergent thinking, and creativity are particularly affected, so that can contribute to Bucky's inability to process/produce complex language and his slowness when it comes to working through complex problems. It also has significant effect on memory and attention: it's interesting to note that during sleep deprivation of more than 35 hours, they found that while free recall was affected, recognition was not. (Disclaimer for science: small sample size, opposite result for subjects with sleep deprivation ~24 h).

So yeah, I think there are practical reasons why Hydra would not allow Bucky to have restorative sleep between missions. Consolidation of long term memory (i.e. transferring them from short term storage into long term storage) usually happens during sleep which means it is quite likely Bucky remembers only broken bits of his time (if at all) in the last 7 decades.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes meta #medical meta #bucky barnes: where the angst that keeps on angsting #asks #i hope you get to see this nonnie! i'm so sorry for the long wait

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falmerbrook · 2 months

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Snow Elf culture?

*pulls up a chair*

Perhaps...

A wee disclaimer that I'm not particularly good or creative with developing cultures or societies, but my brain has just latched on to the snow elves in a way where I can't stop myself. But anyway

I developed a lot of this because of a big ass draft for a fic I've been writing on and off about Gelebor and Vyrthur, so a lot of my headcanons are religion heavy. I'll start there:

Gelebor seems to place Auri-El and the Chantry of Auri-El as having significant importance to the Snow Elves over the other gods/temples. He's probably got a bit of bias in that regard since he's devoted his life to Auri-El, but in order to differentiate their religion from the other elven ones I like to think that their religion in general worshipped Auri-El as not even just as the figure head of their pantheon, but almost monotheistical, while the other gods (Trinimac, Syrabane, Jephre and Phynaster according to Gelebor) were like minor divine figures or just legendary heroes even more than in Altmer myth, depending on the interpretation. My idea is that if their culture had been allowed to continue on, it would've eventually become monotheistic, but by the arrival of the Nords they were in a bit of an awkward transition period with it.

I also like to lean into the sun motif with Auri-El that they established in Dawnguard and with Auriel's Bow, partially because it's another thing to make their depiction of him more unique, and in part because it makes some very juicy irony for Vyrthur. Some ideas include:

- The more religious folk tend to pray at noon when the sun is at it's highest. - The two biggest snow elf festivals happen on the summer and winter solstices. As far north as they are, the summer solstice is during a time of year where the sun barely sets and the winter one is during a time of year where it barely rises. The summer one is more jovial and celebratory, with a grand feast. With almost 24 hours of daylight, the festivities last up to three days straight, with folks commonly staying awake for over 24 hours. Most of it is spent outside, with the celebration being focused on making the most of the weather and daylight hours to spend as much time in the sun and the light of Auri-El as possible. The winter festival is as large scale but lasts longer and is lower-key. It also involves a feast but features more winter foods and meat and alcohol. It is more pensive. At this point in the year, there is no full daylight, and so this season is seen as a test of one’s faith and mental fortitude. This festival acts as a break from this trying time, taking time to relax, build community (a strong community will allow them to make it through the winter and strengthen their minds), and bond with family and friends. It is about a weeklong break, where leading up to the festival everyone works harder to prepare for it and allow themselves to have the break. There are activities and festivities, but they remain indoors for the most part and are smaller. - I've referenced this before, but with long winters with little sunlight (due to harsh weather and short days), they see that time of year as a reflective test of will and faith.

Due to their proximity to dragons, it was hard to miss the connection between Auri-El (/Akatosh) and dragons, and so their depiction of Auri-El is either much more influenced by the iconography of dragons, or is a dragon (although their depiction of dragon Auri-El is much more benevolent than the Nord/Atmoran one). I got the idea for this one from this Reddit post (i know I dog on Reddit a lot but this one has got some fun stuff in it, even if it's a bit out there)

^On that note, later in the timeline (post Dragon War (the timeline is very fuzzy on when this and the Night of Tear happens. They are both sometime vaguely in the late Merethic Era I believe, but it's unclear which happens first or how long each conflict is)) some Snow Elves see a sort of unreturned, unofficial comradery with dragons, seeing themselves as both on the receiving end of the Nord's/Atmoran's brutality (disregarding whether it was warranted or not in the context of the Dragon War).

Ok here's some more general cultural ones:

I mentioned my reasoning for this in this post, but I like to think their general settlements were not as permanent, with a larger focus on wood and building into the sides of hills (good for warmth), while their temples tended to be made of stone and much more permanent. This is why there are so few identifiable Snow Elf ruins across Skyrim. Their cities and towns were easy to wipe out, scavenged for resources, or were in good places for Nordic cities (perhaps Bromjunaar was originally the site of a Snow Elf city?), and their temples were either very hidden (e.g. the Chantry of Auri-El) or eventually converted to Nordic temples.

I love this journal in general for gleaning ideas for Snow Elf headcanons for, but one interesting this is the use of "Old Ones" and "Young One". They're treated like established titles. From that I like to think they place a lot of emphasis on the respect of those older than you. The social hierarchy and whose opinions are most valued is heavily influenced by age. Folks call anyone older or more revered “Old Ones” as a term of respect, and anyone younger than them “Young Ones”. Old One is almost never used in a demeaning way, but Young One can be (not always). Typically, “Old Ones” is used in the third person (e.g. you wouldn’t refer to someone directly as “old one”) whole “Young One(s)” can be used as an epithet for someone directly or in third person.

When thinking about death/"burial" customs (needed for some scenes in the fic I'm planning), you have to consider that there probably wasn't a lot of land in a place like Skyrim where someone can be buried. Nords intern their dead in crypts or burn them to get around this, and I like to think Snow Elves participated in something akin to sky burials (at least sometimes). After preparation, the departed's body is left outside on a ledge, cliff, or the temple balcony to be scavenged by birds. This is seen as a metaphorical return to Aetherius, while their soul literally returns to it. They do this even in poor weather or deep winter. If it doesn’t thaw and rot/be scavenged until months later, so be it. The length it takes to rot is considered indicative of how long it takes for the spirit to let go and move on (not in a bad way though. It’s interpreted more in the way of the soul or body grieving). It's seen as if they may wish to wait until spring to finally rot if they want to experience one more warm, sunny day.

Food (I mostly wrote this in my notes in the context of the Forgotten Vale and Chantry of Auri-El, but I think it could work elsewhere as well to an extent): Plant-based food is grown in gardens in the spring and summer, and that that is able to be stored is carefully preserved through the fall and winter. Winter foods include some nuts, dried vegetables, and dried and preserved/fermented grains (like wheat, barely). These foods must be eaten slowly throughout the winter to last, and winter diets are more meat based. Summer foods include apples, cabbage/lettuce, leeks, tomatoes etc. Snowberries can be found in the wild out of season of most other fruits, and provide fruit in very early spring. Occasionally, fungus from caves is harvested, but this is seen as a delicacy (foreshadowing).

Ok, that's it for now. I gotta go to bed. Thanks for the ask!!!! :D

#charlie its always sunny in philadelphia voice 'can we talk about falmer please ive been dying to talk about falmer all day'#mine #ask #tes #skyrim #the elder scrolls #snow elf #snow elves #reading my notes doc while making this and i was really cooking on some things. didnt include them all becasue some are very specific for #that fic i keep referencing #like i had to try to elaborate on the religious hierarchies and duties of each position because that was obviously gonna be relevant #but its sorta half baked rn #also i want to have some more headcanons for later in case someone asks again :)

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tranakin-skywalker · 2 months

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Story Masterlist

Figured I should finally make one of these so y'all know what the fuck I'm talking about when I go on about my silly little au ideas. I'll be updating this list as I publish things/ come up with new ideas. Published fics have a hyperling to their ao3 embedded in their title.

THE BIG BOYS

Singularity:

Half canon re-write, half me going "hey wouldn't it be fucked up if _?" Basically I packed all my favorite little headcanons and tropes into one five-part monster of a series, featuring things like eldritch demigod Anakin, Force deities, fucked up Naboo politics, sentient droids, and a Galactic Civil War that actually feels Galactic and like a war. Somehow ended up with me both trying to make Star Wars more realistic, and leans way more into the mythological side of the story. Also features a ton of my own original concepts. A pantheon of Tatooine gods and slave culture inspired loosely by Fialleril, Sith religion and rituals, clone culture and language built around the idea that they've been dehumanized and un-personed for their entire existence, and a bunch of stuff about the Coruscant underworld. You can find more about it under my fic:singularity tag

Star-Birth:

The first part of Singularity more or less covering the events of TPM with a few... creative liberties taken. Status: Published/ Ongoing Word Count: 92,740

Accretion:

Part II of Singularity covering the years of Anakin's apprenticeship between TPM and AOTC, as well as looks into both the lives of Shmi and Padme. I took inspiration from a bunch of the stories in Legends covering this time period but most of it is my own thing. This is the one that goes the deepest into the functions and every day life of the Jedi, as well as life on Coruscant in general. An exploration of the disconnect between the governing body of the Senate and the wider galaxy, the wealth disparity on Coruscant and just how fucking dystopian it is, and generally how something like the Clone Wars could come about. Status: Unpublished

Asterism:

Part III of Singularity. AOTC if I butchered it's body and reassembled it in the imagine of my own design. Some of the movie's plot points remain but I'm attempting to get from Point A to Point B as originally as I can while still keeping with the heart of Attack of the Clones. Status: Unpublished

Nucleosynthesis:

Part IV of Singularity. The Clone Wars but not the animated version. We are going full Republic comics version baby. Ahsoka is still here tho, because I love her. Basically my idea of what a galactic civil war would actually look like, featuring space battles that last for months on end, widespread disease outbreaks, planets completely wiped out of existence, billions of combatants, and war crimes galore. The size of this war is immense. Like, there's over 1 billion active duty clones at any given time. (Which actually isn't even all that much compared to the population of the Republic at large lol) Probably the most space opera of the series. Status: Unpublished

Event Horizon:

Fifth and final part of Singularity. Essentially it's version of RotS, but with a vastly different ending. And beginning. And middle. Basically it's RotS if you squint. This I think is going to be the one that goes the deepest into the mythological/ fantasy aspects of the story. The Force and all it's weirdness is a huge aspect of this one. This is also the fic that goes the deepest into the Sith and all their awfulness. It features a much beloved headcanon of mine that when a Sith master is killed by their apprentice, part of their consciousness enters into their apprentice as a sort of living holocron. Which means that the current Sith master is essentially possessed by all the Sith that came before them and is constantly having to fight to keep control of their own body. It serves both as a way to pass on all the Sith teachings (since a living master would have a vested interest in keeping knowledge from their apprentice and thus a lot of that knowledge would be lost over time) and as an attempt at immortality. A strong enough spirit can take control of a weak enough vessel. Unfortunately for all those Sith masters, any apprentice who is able to go on and kill their own master isn't going to be in any way weak. A full, proper possession in the Sith lineage has been few and far between. I imagine y'all can guess what this means for Sidious' intentions with Anakin, a living vergence of the Force and for all intents and purposes immortal (even if Anakin won't let himself acknowledge that fact). Status: Unpublished

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Cytokinesis:

What started as me asking myself "what if the start of ANH but Vader/Anakin was trans and the twin's gestating parent and thus, recognized Leia immediately?" which then turned into something much much longer than I intended. Oops. The actual story starts during the Clone Wars when Anakin discovers he's been magically impregnated by the Force just like how his own mother was. Deals a lot with gender, parenthood, generational trauma, and repeating cycles. Also clones. Lots and lots with the clones. Their relationship with Anakin after discovering that he's basically a clone of his mother is a huge part of this fic. This particular version is going to follow along the beats of RotS and what comes after more or less (so, things are going to get a lot worse before they get better. Sorry) with some divergence here and there. This is the fic I find myself going back and rewriting/tweaking the most. Which is partially why it's taking me so long to update. I'm trying to make this next chapter one I'm completely happy with instead of having to go back and redo it in a few weeks lol. (Tho I think that's part of the fun of fanfic, the ability to go back and change things whenever you want). Honestly, this one is getting so long I might end up having to split it into two fics. fic: cytokinesis tag Status: Published/ Ongoing

Unnamed Cytokinesis Spin-off:

While Cyto is going to have a happy ending, it's going to take a lot of hurt to get there. Which is why I came up with an au to my au where the twins come early, Anakin doesn't fall, and things are happy... ish. The Republic is still a trash fire on the brink of collapse and everyone still has so so much trauma. Even when I write a happy au, things still suck lmao. I just can't imagine a RotS fix-it where things aren't still falling apart and Anakin gets off scot-free for murdering the president of the galaxy. Status: Unpublished

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Groundwater:

Ah yes, the fic that is really three differnt aus in a trench coat. 1. In the midst of galactic instability and the seceding of dozens of planets from the Republic, a revolt begins to spread in the Outer Rim. A revolt led by unknown masked force users, and a suspected Sith known only as Vader. The Jedi scramble to uncover the identity of these new enemies, only to discover a plethora of unpleasant truths that make them begin to question themselves and the very Republic instead. 2. After five years with the Jedi Anakin starts to have nightmares about his mother dying and they. just. won't. stop. He asks Obi-Wan for help, begs him for the chance to go to Tatooine and make sure she's alright. He isn't allowed to go. So he takes matters into his own hands. He leaves in the middle of the night, nothing but a note and a cut padawan braid left behind, and he goes to save his mother. Anakin ends up finding more than just his mother. There's a freedom network, one that Shmi is part of. There is a rebellion brewing, stolen weapons and stolen ships. There is a city in the desert, a paradise made by the hands of escaped slaves. And there are things, old things, powerful things, that he never new existed on Tatooine. Like deep ancient caves carved by the planet's mythical groundwater where kyber crystals grow wild and undiscovered. 3. Darth Vader lived, and then he died. In his son's arms he died, but that wasn't the end of it. There is no death, there is only the Force. And the Force was not done with him yet. He returns, four decades in the past, as a ghost haunting his younger self. Forced into the role of a passive observer, no power, no voice, seen only by one little boy and unable to change anything. Cursed to watch history repeat itself. Or at least that's what he thought. fic: groundwater tag Status: Unpublished

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I Wonder Which One Has My Eyes:

There was something achingly familiar about the pair of droids following the young princess around, Pooja thought. Or Pooja Naberrie, junior senator of Naboo, is invited to a senatorial event on Alderaan. There she meets and befriends young Princess Leia Organa. A few things click into place. This one is actually inspired by @keistance fic Uncle Ani, where the Naberries knew about the Anidala marriage. I thought it would be so so fun if Pooja realized that Leia was her baby cousin and secretly tells Leia all about her birth parents. Which means she goes into ANH knowing all about Padme Amidala and Anakin Skywalker, something that completely derails a certain interrogation with a certain Dark Lord when he stumbles over that particular fact. I'm fascinated by the idea of Leia coming from a similar place as Luke in canon, where she knows her father as a good man named Anakin Skywalker before she ever knew him as Vader. I think that change in perspective would give her the same belief and drive to bring her father back to the Light that Luke has. Also I think both twins ganging up on Vader to bully him into redemption is very funny. Status: Unpublished

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Unnamed Togruta AU:

Or Togruta!Skywalkers. Shmi and Anakin are Tatooine togruta, a rare population of togs that were ensalved from Shili dozens of generations ago and slowly grew to adapt to the desert environment. A characteristic of the Tatooine togs is the forward facing montals, which Anakin has. It's a trait coveted for gladiator slaves since they can be used to pin down/gore opponents. Anakin was occasionally entered into matches as a child where he was forced to fight and kill animals. Had he not been taken by the Jedi, he would have eventually been put in death matches against other sentients. (because I'm lazy I'm just copy/pasting this part from an old ask)

A lot of the ideas are coming from the hyena discord, so I can’t claim them as my own. But they are just too good to pass up. Like togruta making infrasound with their montrals and constantly projecting their moods. So when Anakin first gets to the Temple he’s constantly screaming for him mom at a pitch that only other togruta can hear. I’ve decided that that’s actually how he first meets Ahsoka. She hears him making his lost, scared, where’s mom, where’s family sounds and seeks him out to comfort him. Ahsoka would be about four here, and would have left Shili recently enough that she could still remember what those noises mean, even if Tatooine togruta sound different from Shili togruta. (to a Shili tog Anakin’s distressed noises sound like he’s being maimed, but that’s just because of the generational trauma and general awfulness of being a togruta on Tatooine. What they would think of the vocalizations he makes when actually being maimed we will not think about)

So Anakin and Ahsoka end up growing up together right from the start, and the main reason Anakin is so insistent on being knighted early is so that Ahsoka can be his padawan. It’s a private thought he has to himself at first, but as Ahsoka gets older and no masters are showing any interest in taking her on she starts to panic. Anakin tells her that he’ll just have to get knighted before she ages out so that he can be her master. And then the Clone War starts and he realizes that keeping his promise means bringing her onto the battlefield with him where she could die and he’s not sure if he’ll be enough to keep her alive :) Because Shmi is a togruta too she does not get bought by Cleigg Lars. I am just. not dealing with the implications of that. (Listen. I want to read Shmi’s marriage to him as a good thing, but I have a very hard time doing that.) Now, there’s actually a comic (Legands, I think, not Disney canon) where Gardulla goes to Watto and tries to buy Anakin back after he wins the Boonta Eve Classic. So have some fun thoughts about what would have happened to Anakin if he hadn’t gone with Qui-Gon. In the fic, Gardulla goes to buy Anakin but of course he left with the Jedi, so Gardulla decides she’ll take Shmi as payment for Watto’s debts. After all, if Shmi already had one child who turned out to be a talented podracer, well, she might have more. Hence the younger sibling that comes about shortly after Anakin leaves.

When Anakin goes back to Tatooine because of the nightmares about his mom he finds out that Watto sold his mom back to Gardulla and has to go to her to buy his mom’s freedom. Which would be traumatic, on multiple levels. Anakin finds out that a month before he arrived, Shmi tried to escape with the sister Anakin didn’t know he had, and Gardulla had their chips detonated. Gardulla even gives him their triggered remotes as proof. (Of course unbeknownst to Anakin, Shmi and the sister survived and are living with a village of other escaped togruta.) A lot of canon still happens the same, including Anakin’s fall, Order 66, Mustafar, etc. But when Bail Organa sees Ahsoka at Padme’s funeral he tells her that he can take her to a mutual friend of theirs. Ahsoka thinks (hopes) it’s Anakin at first, and is devastated when she realizes it’s Obi-Wan (and then hates herself for feeling disappointment because she should be happy that Obi-Wan is still alive, but he’s not Anakin, and this means that Anakin must be dead). There’s no Lars family and the Organas would have a harder time explaining a non-human daughter, so Ahsoka and Obi-Wan end up taking care of the twins. They eventually find their way to Tatooine because it’s out of the Empire’s notice and, well, because it’s a connection to Anakin (Ahsoka’s trying to hold onto anything she can that connects her to her brother and Obi-Wan is in his self-harming phase.)

And it’s there that they eventually run into a little community of togruta and a woman who looks suspiciously like Anakin who has the last name Skywalker. But hey, Shmi gets to meet her grandkids at least. Even if it happens at the same time that she finds out that son she thought she’d sent away to a better life and hasn’t seen in 13 years is dead. (Obi-Wan sees how much Anakin’s death destroys Shmi and decides to never, ever tell her what he became. Vader will be his burden and it’s a secret he will take to his grave. Anakin Vader is dead, and he’ll save them from ever finding out how it really happened) Of course, 15 years later Ahsoka goes to rescue some rebels from a walking death omen in black when she realizes the infrasound calls he’s shrieking out of his mangled montrals is devastatingly familiar.

togruta au tag or togrutakin tag Status: Unpublished

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Anachromism:

Anakin ends up twenty three years in the future, Vader ends up twenty three years in the past.

So you’ve got Anakin just fresh off the child murder suddenly flung into the Rebellion era and being faced with how much he supremely fucked up. Meanwhile Vader like not even a week after Bespin suddenly back in the Jedi Temple in the middle of the Purge. And because his vision is shit he doesn’t realize at first that it’s a bunch of clone troopers shooting at the big black angry mass that suddenly appeared. Which leads him to accidentally saving a bunch of baby Jedi, who of course imprint on him like orphaned ducklings. Vader figures he must had died at some point and this is a divine punishment for all the atrocities, trapped in a purgatory of reliving all his greatest mistakes. So in a bit of an uncharacteristic move for him, he doesn’t murder to death the gaggle of preschoolers he’s accidentally collected, and instead, in a series of absurd events sort of unintentionally helps to start the Rebel Alliance in a bit of cosmic irony.

Status: Unpublished

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War Machines (title pending):

Jedi are living weapons. Far into the Outer Rim, the Hutts obtain a planet killer. Dystopian au where the sith empire was never wiped out and controls half the galaxy and the Republic is more of an authoritarian dictatorship that uses teh Jedi as living weapons of mass destruction. Force sensitive children are taken from their families and trained as soldiers, raised with a cloned ‘handler’ who was designed specifically to be able to keep their Jedi in line. The Jedi are eldritch, incredibly powerful beings that are forced to wear suppression gear that keeps them confined to their physical form. Only the handler is able to turn it off the gear and allow the jedi the full use of their abilities. Some force sensitives are wired into ships or turned into actual weapons. On Tatooine, Gardulla realizes one of her slaves is a powerful force sensitive and begins having him trained like a jedi to be her own personal one man army. Status: Unpublished

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the thing that lives in dead stars (title pending):

A gambler Watto may have been, but stupid he was not. Anakin Skywalker was too great a prize to risk losing, not when the man betting had the gleam in his eye that told of a winning hand. Not that it mattered in the end. The boy won, and Watto lost, and the hutts got themselves the only human in the entire galaxy that could win a pod race. At least the outlander didn’t leave with the boy as well as his pretty Noobian ship. Or Anakin wins the race but not his freedom. Six years later, the circuit brings him to Coruscant, and the attention of a Sith Lord. My very fucked up Anakin raised as a Sith AU. Status: Unpublished

Shapeshifters AU:

aka space vampire Vader aka sun dragon Skywalkers. So I think we've established by this point that I can't get enough of Eldritch Skywalkers. They are my JAM. So of course I made another eldritch Skywalkers au. There's a few main points to this one. 1. Anakin, and subsequently Luke and Leia, being freaky part-Force abominations, can shapeshift. However, they cannot shapeshift into anything they like. This isn't FMA Envy/ Mystique/ whatever. They can't just look at a person and copy their face. Instead they have to have a deep emotional connection to what they are transforming into, and that transformation is always accessed by strong emotion. While they could theoretically shapeshift into a person they care very close to, the thought of doing so is very unnerving and almost violating, so they don't. Instead, all three Skywalkers have a habit of changing into creatures from Tatooine mythology. 2. Anakin and Beru are half siblings. I love this idea. I cannot express to you how much I love this idea. It just scratches something in my brain so well. Beru is Anakin's younger sister by about a year, and got left on Tatooine with their mother when Anakin was taken by Qui-Gon. She is not a part-Force abomination, but grew up knowing all about Anakin's weirdness. 3. Luke AND Leia are both given to Beru (and Owen) because of said knowledge about Anakin's weirdness. She is probably the best and safest option for raising two baby shapeshifting half-Force abominations. And thus the twins grow up on the same stories Anakin did, with the added knowledge that he could turn into those creatures, and thus, so do they. 4. At some point Anakin found out he could consume the midi-chlorians of other Force sensitives on account of the whole half-Force abomination thing. And since midi-chlorians exist in a persons blood, well. Space vampire. Sidious has a lot of fun feeding Force sensitive people to his pet monster. 5. Speaking of- Vader is more often than not a fuck off huge black hole of a sun dragon. Like, legitimately. In this, sun dragons are essentially living stars in the shape of massive serpents. Vader is what happens when one of those living suns becomes a black hole. 6. Vader is just all around fucked up honestly. He no longer gets to decide what form he takes. His body and everything about it is determined by Sidious' will. His master decides what he turns into, and Vader was always meant to be a monster on a leash. So of course that's what Sidious keeps him as. 7. The twins somehow get roped into the Rebellion. Don't ask me how, I haven't figured out that part just yet. Status: Unpublished

SHORT FICS & ONE-SHOTS

For a Son:

He could not bring her son back to her. Could not even return his body to lay to rest. The least he could do was bring her the grandchild she never even knew she had. He knew it could never forgive what he had taken. Obi-Wan finds out what happened to Shmi Skywalker. Word Count: 4,018 Status: Published

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Lessons the Desert Gave:

No one ever understood how the sand would sink into open wounds. How, no matter how much you scrubbed and washed and clawed, the sand always found its way into your blood. The desert has a way of sticking with you, even long after you left it. (Turns out growing up a slave can really fuck a guy up.) Ficlet/ one-shot collect of character studies looking at all the ways Anakin's childhood would have really messed him up. I'm open to prompts/ requests for this one. Word Count: 1,820 Status: Published / Ongoing

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Dead Letters:

Post RotS. Obi-Wan gets drunk and messages Anakin on his old comm from the war, forgetting that Anakin is dead. For some reason, he keeps on doing it. What could it hurt? Anakin is dead, his comm destroyed on Mustafar just like his body. So he keeps sending messages, because for just a second, it means he can pretend that Anakin is still alive out there somewhere. Then he discovers he doesn't have to pretend. This one could so easily be a crack-fic. Darth Vader gets drunk texts from Obi-Wan telling him all about how awful Tatooine is and that he'll never make fun of Anakin again for hating sand and he keeps getting sunburnt and also Anakin's son is so sweet and cute and just like him until he turned into a surly teenager, why couldn't he just stay an adorable little boy forever? Status: Unpublished

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Jewel Box:

Sidious’ obsession ran deep. What he wanted, he would have- wholly, utterly, and completely. His want for the boy was no different. Sidious POV of Anakin through the years featuring all the horrible messed up things he thinks and does. Big BIG warning for child abuse, grooming, and rape/non-con in addition to Sidious' all around awfulness. This is probably the most awful thing I've ever written. Like holy shit it's fucked up. It's taking me ages to finish because I keep having to take breaks from it. And I'm not even going into any graphic detail. Title comes from that one line in the RotS novel where Sidious calls Vader's suit a jewel box. Status: Unpublished

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umlewis · 27 days

Text

Lewis Hamilton Is Changing Lanes

He's got one last season with Mercedes, and then F1's winningest driver will join Ferrari. But he's looking far beyond that, toward the moves he'll make when his racing career ends.

Preparation for the Afterlife

Often in the in-between moments of his eighteen seasons in Formula 1, Lewis Hamilton has found himself in rooms with legends, some from other exotic industries: movies, music, fashion; all worlds Hamilton has felt increasing affinity for while becoming the winning-est F1 driver in history, and many from other major sports. What he'd noticed was that eventually, particularly with these aging athletes just on the other side of retirement, the conversation would loop around to the subject of preparation for the afterlife. Not death, exactly, but life after sport. "I'd spoken to so many amazing athletes, from Boris Becker to Serena Williams, even Michael Jordan," Hamilton, now 39, says. "Talking to greats that I've met along the way, who are retired, or some that are still in competition, and the fear of what's next, the lack of preparation for what's next. A lot of them said, 'I stopped too early' or 'Stayed too long.' 'When it ended, I didn't have anything planned.' 'My whole world came crashing down because my whole life has been about that sport.' Some of them were like, 'I didn't plan and it was a bit of a mess up because I was really lost afterwards. There was such a hole, such a void, and I had no idea how I was going to fill it and I was in such a rush, initially, to try and fill it that you fill it with the wrong thing and you make a few mistakes, and then eventually you find your way.' Some people took longer. Some people took shorter. But it just got my mind thinking about, okay, when I stop, how do I avoid that? And so I got serious about finding other things that I was passionate about." Hamilton, whose parents split when he was a toddler and who started racing at eight, spent the first half of his life impelled by one thing: "Being the only black kid on the circuit, struggling at school, really always my big drive was acceptance. If I win the race, I will receive that acceptance in this world."

That single-minded intent, for a working class kid who grew up on a council estate north of London, led him to inconceivable heights within motorsport. His seven individual world championships in F1 tie him for most ever with Michael Schumacher. His eight team titles with Mercedes and his 103 frand prix victories put him in a class of one. But it wasn’t until later that Hamilton finally felt comfortable directing the part of himself that he'd suppressed while pursuing racing full-time toward other creative arenas; pursuits that, rather than detract from his racing career, might actually enhance his performance on the track, set him more purposefully toward the second half of his life, and ultimately enliven his soul. "When I first got into Formula 1," he says, "it was wake up, train, racing-racing-racing. Racing, nothing else. There's no space for anything else. But what I realized is that just working all the time doesn't bring you happiness, and you need to find a balance in life. And I found out that I was actually quite unhappy." The fixation was flattening. "There was so much missing, there was so much more to me, and it was crazy because I was like, 'I'm in Formula 1, I reached my dream and I'm where I always wanted to be, I'm on top, I'm fighting for the championship.' But I was just not... It was not enjoyable." During that period, he started dating someone in Los Angeles and was exposed for the first time to creative people in creative industries. "It’s almost like being in a snow globe. That’s the racing world," he says, "and there's so much more outside of it that you just don't have time to explore. I think if you go to an office every day and do the same process every single day, eventually you just zone out. You have to find something else that can soothe you, can keep your mind going." Those trips to LA planted the seeds for what else might be possible and ushered in a new wave of self-expression and creative experimentation, through, first, his hair, tattoos, and jewelry, then through music, fashion, and filmmaking. For the next decade, Hamilton steadily pushed against preconceptions of how a racing driver might present himself, and what else a racing driver might do while winging around the world for a global racing series. "My mind is always moving," he says, sitting across from me in London. "I have really, really vivid dreams; I have to wake up and write them down. I'll have visions of something I'm designing, or sometimes it’s music. Sometimes I have a song playing in my head. I'll get up and go downstairs, play it on the piano, record it, and it becomes a part of something that I’m doing." Hamilton lives for the songwriting camps he sets up at least a couple times a year during his summer and winter breaks, when he gathers a team of producers and songwriters to help him pull together the many samples, threads, and lyrics he collects and noodles on throughout the season. He's just returned from one when we meet up in February, and it's left him on a high. "Music keeps me alive," he says. In the years since those seminal trips to LA, Hamilton has become the most prominent member of his sport, possibly even the most prominent athlete in any sport, to mess around this much and this seriously with so many sidelines in creative industries. The idea of Hamilton indulging his interests hasn't always been welcomed.

"As I explored my creativity and also how to express myself," he says, "I experienced a lot of pushback in the media." Commentators who questioned Hamilton's "distractions" off the track. "People just judging me: 'This is not how a racing driver behaves.' 'This is not what a racing driver does.'" Hamilton's rise coincided with a moment when the sport was maturing globally and corporate money was flooding into F1. As a result, the rougher edges of the sport were sanded away and the hard-partying, death-defying racers of previous eras were replaced by a cadre of safe characters who evinced limited personality off the track. "I actually feel for some of the drivers just before us, in the early 2000s," Hamilton says. "There was clearly more to them, but they weren't able to show that. But if you look at our world now, there's drivers expressing themselves differently. Bit by bit, I've had to work overtime to outperform,' he says, in order to shift people's mindsets. The motivation for Hamilton to keep pushing his sport forward on this front is twofold: Yes, to continue to break F1's often conservative, conventional expectations, but also to set himself up for the second half of his own career. "I went through this phase of understanding that I can't race forever," he says, prompting him to cultivate those other passions. "Because when I stop, I'm gonna drop the mic and be happy. The difficult thing is, I want to do everything," he says, laughing. "I'm very ambitious, but I understand that you can't do... Actually, I take that back, because I don't believe in the word can't. To be a master at something, there's the 10,000 hours it takes. Obviously I've done that in racing. There's not enough time to master all of these different things." So what's the one that's gonna take the place of racing. I ask. "Well," he says, "I think it's gonna be film and fashion."

Film Lewis

Among the most prominent of Hamilton's current side projects is the major Hollywood film he's producing, alongside Brad Pitt and the team that made Top Gun: Maverick, including director Joseph Kosinski and producer Jerry Bruckheimer. It promises to be at minimum the most anticipated racing movie in history; at best, the most authentic, adrenaline-inducing racing movie ever. Hamilton says he was, like many, a movie fiend growing up, and much of his time in Formula 1 has been marked by surreal opportunities to meet the people affiliated with them. This Hollywood story, he says, begins, as many of the best Hollywood stories do, with Tom Cruise. Cruise, a racing fan since even before Days of Thunder, reached out unexpectedly to Hamilton about a decade ago to invite him to the set of his 2014 film, Edge of Tomorrow. "My assistant called me. 'Tom Cruise has invited you to the set.' I was just like, 'Shoot, yeah?! Cancel anything I have!'" After that day on set in England, Hamilton and Cruise built a friendship that consisted, in part, of encouraging messages from Cruise before and after races. "'Me and the team want to wish you good luck with the race', that sort of thing," Hamilton says. One evening, at dinner, Hamilton showed Cruise his watch that had a Top Gun logo on the back. "I said, 'Dude, if you ever do Top Gun 2,'" which had not been spoken of; there was no story yet, "'I will even be a janitor. Just let me be in it.’'" When the reality of Top Gun: Maverick came around, Cruise put Hamilton in touch with Kosinski, who offered Hamilton a role as one of the film's pilots, but he was in the middle of the 2018 title race, waging a dogfight of his own with Ferrari's Sebastian Vettel. Filming would have required a couple of weeks on set during the final months of the season. Despite having made admirable progress for drivers to fitfully explore their passions off-track, even Hamilton has his limits. "Firstly, I hadn't even had, like, an acting lesson," he says, "and I don't want to be the one that lets this movie down. And then secondly, I just really didn't have the time to dedicate to it. I remember having to tell Joe and Tom, and it broke my heart. And then I regretted it, naturally, when they show me the movie and it's... It could've been me!" He groans and laughs. "Oh, God, I'm still…."

And so a couple years later, despite the missed opportunity, Hamilton found himself on a Zoom, staring at a screen with Kosinski and Bruckheimer, who were asking him to get involved with a real-deal, big budget Formula 1 film. Hamilton glimpsed the potential pitfalls instantly. "My point was, guys, this movie needs to be so authentic. There's two different fan groups that we have; like, the old originals, who from the day they're born hearing the frand prix music every weekend and watching with their families, to the new generation that just learned about it today through Netflix." Hamilton signed on with an imperative to make the movie work for both. "I felt my job really has been to try to call BS. 'This would never happen.' 'This is how it would be.' 'This is how it could happen.' Just giving them advice about what racing is really about and what, as a racing fan, would appeal and what would not." Cameras were rolling on the production at last season's British Grand Prix, where the filmmakers shot live racing before a crowd of 150,000-plus at the famed Silverstone Circuit. One of the coolest experiences thus far, Hamilton says, was "being at Silverstone and just finding out that Brad is actually a racer at heart. He's genuinely got the abilities, the skills." Where does it come from? "I think he's always loved bikes, and so he's watched a lot of motor racing. When I was younger, I worked at a driving school to help pay my bills, just getting around to these races and stuff. Companies would come with seventy people and they're on the wrong side of the road. They're on the inside line, driving toward an apex of a turn. Just no knowledge. Brad knew what part of the track to be on." This understanding of Formula 1 racecraft, then, put actors like Pitt and Cruise in a rare class of American. Hamilton had seen the ignorance up close for years. He spent the first half of his career coming to the United States and Canada, shocked by having to just "continuously educate people." Here was this continent of massive sports fans who were somehow immune to whatever had made Hamilton mad for F1 all his life: "How has no one got the bug like me? How are they missing it?" I spoke to Hamilton once before, in late 2011, and asked him what has really been an open question since: What would it take to infect the American sports fan? He knew. It was gonna be a movie that did it. "I'd love to hear any ideas," he told me then, issuing an open call to screenwriters. Netflix's Drive to Survive proved that there was something to Hamilton's theory, that if only you could package up the speed and drama in a slick story, audiences might get hooked on the real thing. The still-untitled Pitt-Kosinski film-they could do worse than Top Gun: Formula 1-should be the ultimate test case. At one point, Hamilton and I discuss the slate of racing feature films that have come before. Grand Prix (1966), Le Mans (1971), Ford v Ferrari (2019), Rush (2013), and on and on. I ask him if he keeps up with new entries; which work, and which are way off the map. "I do watch all of them," he says, in part because he’s a fan, in part because he and his new production company, Dawn Apollo Films, need to keep an eye out. "But one thing I think you'll learn about me is I don't like to... We live in such a judgmental world, and having seen how, for everything, building something from scratch and creating takes so much time and commitment from so many people... So I never like to be someone to dog anything."

Still. Ferrari? "I loved it," he says. Encouraging news for Ferrari fans, who have been salivating since Hamilton's shock announcement that he'd be moving to their team at the start of the 2025 season. "One, because Ferrari is Ferrari, and envisioning when they arrive at the factory, seeing some of the history... The racing was nuts back then. The cars were so dangerous. Could I look at it and say this could be done better? Of course. Capturing racing is really, really difficult, and I don't think anyone's been able to really capture it in a way that brings the adrenaline you have as a racing driver. But I think it's one of the best they’ve done. If you look at the old movies, with McQueen, the big camera on the helmet and the guy lying on the front of the car to capture the shot?" He laughs. "You should see some of the cameras that Joe is able to use. He's a visionary." Are you to the point of thinking, we've got to blow these other racing films out of the water? "I don’t feel competitive with these movies," he says, "but I guess we probably will be."

Fashion Lewis

Before movies, there were clothes. In 2007, Hamilton attended his first fashion show. "I come from a racing world where me and my dad were really the only people of color," he says, "and then when I went to the fashion world, it was so mixed, so diverse. I loved it." Hamilton had already spent his years coming up in the sport having to answer for superficial differences from other drivers; his braids, his tattoos, his jewelry, then his clothes. Every additional layer of differentiation brought outsize attention and required immense effort and energy getting people to believe that these things were not affecting his performance or causing harm to the sport. The scrutiny found yet a new target when he started working with Tommy Hilfiger. Hilfiger, who had been involved with Formula 1 for decades, invited Hamilton to design five collections for Hilfiger's namesake brand between 2018 and 2020. "I got almost like an internship experience, getting to work with these designers, in the background," Hamilton says. "I got to just be really hands-on, massively engaged, and then I would go to races and I was just really free." To celebrate his first collection, in 2018, Hamilton flew to a party in New York before a grand prix in Singapore. "That's not really great preparation for a race weekend," Hamilton concedes, "so you have to be really cautious about that. The narrative was, 'Oh, he’s not focused.' But I wasn't out partying late or drinking like that. I got to Singapore and I delivered one of the best laps that I've ever delivered. And after that, everyone was like, oh, he can do that. Even Niki would say to Toto, 'You can't let Lewis do this! This is not what a racing driver does!’'" In Lauda's era, I suggest jokingly, racing drivers would just drink and smoke all night before showing up to the track in the morning. Hamilton laughs. "Yeah, exactly. But eventually I got him to see it. 'Oh, maybe he can do those things, too.'"

In recent years Hamilton's interest in fashion has evolved. He doesn't just want to wear clothes or design them, he tells me, but to influence the industry in more ambitious ways. Hamilton has pushed diversity initiatives within Formula 1, Mercedes and beyond, efforts aimed at busting up the homogeneity in the spaces he inhabits. Now he's thinking about ways to marshal that sort of influence-and, yes, financing-to help independent fashion brands that he admires. "I think it's about really working on the idea of... We've really got to send the lift down," he says. "There are so many incredible young up and coming brands that at some stage would just get eaten up by the big organizations, and they'll lose a large percentage of the company that they've started, and that’s often the way it goes. I think it's about getting a seat at the table. It's not easy. Getting in the room with Arnault and having the discussion." Have you tried, I ask.

"Uh, I'm not yet in the room, but I believe I can." Just to pick one I've seen you support, I say, I look at a brand like Wales Bonner (from acclaimed 33 year old designer Grace Wales Bonner) that has about as clear a vision as any fashion label for what it's about-fresh takes on black style and contemporary Britishness-and yet remains humbly independent. Do you think about getting involved financially with businesses of that scale? "I have been to Grace's studio," he says, "and it's fascinating speaking to her about just how hard it is for her. She's putting on these great shows, she's super creative, she's very intentional with the work that she's doing. But there are opportunities that have just not been presented to her, and I know that there are so many of these young brands that somehow need more finance, somehow need more support, help with the infrastructure, which the big brands obviously have crazy infrastructure. Which when you do get, you know, they are at risk of just having to sell a chunk of it to somebody in order to stay alive. So I'm trying to just figure out how we fit into that picture." Honestly, one of my dreams is I have thought about creating my own diverse LVMH," he says. "Like, I don't know if we live in a time where that's really possible, but that's something that I'm conceptualizing." Act I: Beat Schumacher Act II: Beat Arnault Just one of those ideas that gets jotted down in the middle of the night and worked on, I suggest. "Yeah," he says. "We've got an opportunity to really lift people up and let them get in the jet stream. I think about LVMH and, of course, I love Pharrell. He's been, since I was a kid, just musically and creatively, someone that I really aspire to be like. And I was really split, having now been in the space, on the decision that LVMH took." That is, to make him men's creative director of Louis Vuitton. "'Cause, wow, he did the work with Chanel, Billionaire Boys Club, he deserves it 100 percent. Then I'm thinking about someone like Grace, or Martine Rose would've been cool. Put a woman in power in that position, because a lot of women aren't getting those opportunities within the industry. I think that would've been a baller move. But I'm loving what Pharrell is doing."

F1 Lewis

The start of 2024, Hamilton says, is "probably the most exciting time in my life", in large part because it's the first time he's been able to think about the next two years in tandem. "I've never started a year excited for the year to follow," he says. His life has been measured in seasons; one team, one car, one series, one summer break to cram in all the travel and songwriting camps and other interests. "People ask me all the time, where do you see yourself in five years? And I've never been able to look that far ahead. But now I'm in a place where I can map out a little further ahead. There's some really cool things that will be happening in the next two years." He means, "Some really fun projects with fashion that will come to light at the end of the year, obviously the movie, and hopefully a documentary to follow." He pauses, and I smile. Yeah? Anything else? Hamilton shocked the racing world a couple weeks before our conversation by announcing that he would be leaving his long-term team, Mercedes, for its most famous rival, Ferrari, at the start of the 2025 season. He would, then, be racing all of 2024 with the team to which he'd been effectively married and won everything there was to win for over a decade, all while having the next relationship primed and ready to go for the day after the divorce, which forces him to hold both this year and next year in his head concurrently; a rare state of play for a driver. "My focus is, how do I deliver the best year that this team has ever had, after all the great years we've had?" he says. "It's how you engage with the people around you ho have taken the news, some of them really well, some of them less so. How do you take them on this journey and leave on a high together?" Before moving on, he says, he has to figure out how to make sure the work he's done at Mercedes on diversity initiatives continues to live on without him pushing it. It's a consideration that could apply to many of the shifts Hamilton has helped facilitate in the sport. What happens when Lewis is no longer at the front of the pack challenging the status quo? At one point, I ask him, what's the thing you're most surprised hasn't evolved further during your time in F1? "We still need more women in the sport, and to fight to make sure that there are more and more women to put out at the front, in view, for young women and girls to be able to see that this is a place for women." In 2024, he says, "I'm training harder than I've ever trained. I feel the most physically prepared I've ever been, so I'm really excited about the present, knowing that nothing is promised beyond that," he says. "But then it's also conceptualizing. I have all these ideas of things I want to do beyond, in the next phase. Honestly," he continues, "I've manifested everything I've ever wanted to do. I do it every year. Working with Tommy, winning a world championship, breaking records. And so I've had some other plans for the future." Did you manifest the Ferrari move, I ask.

"Yeah," he says. "I think perhaps more unconscious manifesting from the early period of my life, but it's always been up there for me. For now, though, I'm gonna lift Mercedes as high as I can this year. The way that I exist..." he continues, "I don't look at it as on the way out. My commitment to the team is exactly the same as previous years. I want to kill every other team. We want to beat them. My approach remains the same, right 'til the end, and I can't let too much of my mind be distracted by what's afterwards. You can't really tap into that until next year." This final season at Mercedes comes during an unprecedented stretch for Hamilton, who has not won a race the past two seasons. Mercedes constructed a car in two consecutive seasons that has struggled. Red Bull and Max Verstappen have dominated. Hamilton wouldn't be doing it still if he didn't think he could compete for a world championship, he says, but we discuss whether the end of the 2021 season felt like a turning point for him in his career. The title that year was decided in the last race of the season, the last lap of the season, the literal last minutes of the season. After a surreal, improvisational ruling by the race director, Hamilton and Verstappen were cut loose to settle the title in one final sprint. But with Verstappen's car in a clearly advantageous state (he had fresh tires), Hamilton's fate was sealed before Go. Were you robbed, I ask him. "Was I robbed? Obviously. I mean, you know the story. But I think what was really beautiful in that moment, which I take away from it, was my dad was with me. And we'd gone through this huge roller coaster of life together, ups and downs, nd the day that it hurt the most, he was there, and the way he raised me was to always stand up, keep your head high. And I obviously went to congratulate Max, and not realizing the impact that that would have, but also I was really conscious of, like, there's a mini-me watching. This is the defining moment of my life. And I think it really was. I felt it. I didn't know how it was going to be perceived. I hadn't, like, visualized it, but I was definitely conscious of, these next fifty meters that I walk is where I fall to the ground and die, or I rise up." I ask him if he fixates on that race. "If I see a clip of it, I still feel it," he says, "but I'm at peace with it." And the winninglessness that's followed? "My fans were really ride or die. I couldn't understand it at first. 'Guys, but I'm not winning anything!' But I've realized it's not easy to relate to someone that's always finishing first. It's inspiring. But there's no..." There's never been a comeback story until now. It's a good lesson from his sideline in movies. People love a comeback story.

#lewis hamilton #f1 #formula 1 #fic ref #fic ref 2024 #not a race #2024 not a race #between australia and japan 2024 #pre-season #pre-season 2024 #sewis #toto wolff #niki lauda #tw max #brad pitt #tom cruise #jerry bruckheimer #joseph kosinski

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somethingblu3 · 3 months

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Richard Headcannon's (Later)

I have a few headcannons now because I rewatched later, and now I'm obsessed with it, and I came up with some following @astarions-bride post.

I'm sure I have a bunch more, but these are all the ones my tired brain can think of. I'll add some more smutty ones at a later date, maybe for Febuwhump?

Masterlist

You two always go shopping together. It's always a fun date night. Richard always knows what fits your body best and what suits your figure. Of course, he would be really into the color analysis. - He would also be involved in the actual 'dressing up' not just for going out but for work, especially because he wants you to make a good first impression. Helping apply make-up, choosing different heels/perfumes for you to wear for different occasions.

He loves taking videos/photos of you, especially when you aren't looking. He has entire folders saved of the same photos but in different poses. Maybe he enjoys scrapbooking. Of course, he loves dirty photos/videos as well. Lights up when you're bored at work and escape to the bathroom to send him a quick selfie, teasing him about what's to come later. He almost wants to share it and show you off, but he holds himself back.

When you get back from work, he always attacks you with kisses. Sometimes, you don't even make it to the bedroom and end up on the couch, which means you have to get creative with positions. He loves it when you arrive home all sweaty and tired because that means you can have showers and head straight to bed.

He loves showers and baths. There's so much closeness between your bodies. He loves cleaning your hair while you tell him about work woes and gossip. Trivial things. You debate on dinner but end up settling on takeout. Of course, make-out a sesh when waiting for delivery.

Then he feels jealous when the delivery guy comes to the door. He can feel them watching your body either in a towel or see-through pjs, usually a night dress one he picked for you. And then, when cuddling on the couch, he's really possessive and doesn't give you any room to breathe. He has to mark you - with anything he possibly can anywhere with bite marks and scratches. The neck is the most obvious place, but then the shoulders and your waist, anything that can show through clothes even though you mostly wear suits at work.

Of course, he takes your clothes from the day and saves them in a pile like he's nesting. It's a comfort thing - from his last relationship (we all know how that ended), he craves constant touch, so when you're away, your clothes are the closest thing to him. Sometimes, he likes to lie and spread your clothes on his chest, especially dresses, and feel them like you are there, sometimes not even in a sexual way.

He loves having photoshoots with you. Something you do in your rare down days. Outfits don't even have to be sexy, but often they're short. - And speaking of shorts, he loves those too. Just the expose of your leg/thigh drives him wild; he can't hold himself back. He always grabs your ass, especially when you pull him in for a kiss.

He always tells you that you should be a model, but you never take him seriously. He loves watching you while you sleep, especially post-orgasm. It always starts with innocence. At first, he traces your face - your cheeks and then, of course, he goes lower, and before you know it, he's fucking you mid-sleep, and he can't help himself. Sometimes, he slides a condom on, but of course, he's too tired and doesn't want to wake you. When you miss your period, he's a worried mess. He's never told you about what he does, although you always go into detail about your 'weird sex dreams' - you're both very open to each other about sexual stuff.

It doesn't take you long to realize he's a panty thief, so you end up giving Richard his favorite items, the ones you know he loves. You both love trying new things. At first, he was ashamed of using toys with you, but then it didn't really matter to him. All he cares about is your pleasure. He loves researching new positions and getting into kinky stuff; he's very nerdy about it. Aftercare is a hit or miss with him only when he's in the mood, but no matter what, there's always cuddling in the end because of how much he craves your touch.

#neil newbon universe #later #richard #headcannons #neil newbon headcannons #fanfiction #fanfic #yandere #yandere headcannons #could be much more smutty if i wasn't so tired lol

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destinyc1020 · 2 months

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You know what's funny? Before Tom was cast as Spidey he had a classic indie actor resumé: starting in a Spanish movie with Naomi Watts and Ewan McGregor, voicing a Studio Ghibli beloved animation, voicing the son of Tom Hardy in an experimental movie (Locke), starring in a dystopian movie with Saoirse Ronan, doing a tragic movie set in a desolate Canadian winter landscape (Edge of Winter), starring in an acclaimed BBC historical miniseries opposite Mark Rylance (Wolf Hall), starring in a movie where he speaks ancient Gaelic (Pilgrimage). Then he was cast as the most popular s superhero globally (based on merchandise sold) and did 6 movies as that character, 5 of which made more than $1B and the other more than $800M. And because of that he started to be viewed as an actor that was not serious about his craft. Tom has talked about that pre-Spidey period as one full of uncertainty, fearful that offers would dry up, so much so that his parents sent him to learn carpentry apprenticeship. Spidey allowed him to finally achieve financial security. I think that some of the choices he made in this period were not the best, but people have to experience life and learn to deal with the consequences. I think that in this period his best performance has been in TDATT because he worked with a director that gets great dramatic performances from his actors. That's why I'm so excited with R+J because he will be working with a great minimalist director that really focuses on truthful emotion and not decoration. And I hope that he gets to work with Paul King because he's creatively amazing but also a really great person. Everybody has to follow their own path. There's no cookie cutter approach towards success

You know what, this is all a very good point Anon! 👍🏾

Tom really was an Indie King himself before he got the Spiderman role. He and Timmy actually had somewhat similar starts in their career. Timmy just stayed doing indie films a little longer before branching out to do more commercial, big films. But they BOTH have an indie background!

I wouldn't say that for Tom the offers weren't coming in, I just think Nikki didn't want him to have NOTHING to fall back on. The work of an actor can be VERY hit or miss. You're only as good as your last job. It's kind of like being a freelancer or contractor almost? Once the contract is up, and the job is done, that's it! 🤷🏾‍♀️

It can be kinda scary for sure, especially if you're trying to make a living. And MOST actors never even make it to the top 2% that we see on the red carpet in Hollywood. Most are struggling to make ends meet, or to book roles, and even when booking roles, they might not make as much as they need.

You REALLY have to enjoy acting, and it really has to be your PASSION if you're going to stick with it under those circumstances.

I'm excited to see Tom working with Paul King and to see him in R&J as well Anon! 😁👏🏾🥰 I can't wait!

We're fortunate that Tom is in a financial situation where he CAN afford to take risks and take long breaks, etc. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Tom HAS been going back to his indie roots actually. It's just that some haven't really liked his choices.... or, they feel like the projects he's chosen aren't well-written, or widely accepted by the critics etc.

But Tom has actually been going back to his roots for a while now.

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trolagygirl2022 · 2 months

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The Future of Kep1er: Tarot Reading

Xiaoting: 5 of Wands, 6 of Wands, King of Wands rx

I see her going through a period of stagnation and inactivity. This can include her returning back to China or something else. She seems to have a lot of energy left, but she will remain popular. I feel like this period of stagnation will be good for her so she can really balance herself and accept good opportunities.

Chaehyun: Page of Wands, Ace of Cups, 4 of Swords.

Oh I see her reaching out to some people that she knows in the industry! Maybe a senior that can help her? She'll also be involved in some creative projects for sure, I'm not certain that she'll be an idol though. Probably take a break or be a solo artist.

Mashiro: 2 of Swords, The Sun, 5 of Swords.

Even before shuffling the cards, I kept getting "I'm done" "I have nothing left". Yeah she seems to be very tired of her time as an idol and wants to do other things (Could even include starting a family with the Sun) but I see her giving up on being an idol or the entertainment industry as a whole.

Dayeon: Queen of Swords rx, The Lovers, 9 of Pentacles, Judgement

Oh dear, whoever is on her team really needs to watch out. I'm seeing a prominent female figure in her life, I feel like that female (or her) will make quite an error that can cause a scandal and will have people go "🤨😬". I see people being very critical post kep1er era so she needs to watch out and focus on herself financially.

Bahiyyih: 10 of Pentacles rx, 8 of Wands rx, The Magician rx, Justice rx.

I see Bahiyyih recieving an offer (I kept thinking of HYBE during this reading, so interpret it as you will). This will lead to tons of controversy and people will feel like it's unfair. (I'm thinking of nepotism a lot too). During this time, people will be very critical of her and her skills. If she is in a group or something, people will be comparing her to other members and feel like she is less "deserving" as others.

Hikaru: Ace of Cups rx, 5 of Cups rx, 7 of Swords rx, 10 of Swords rx.

Girl... 😭 I don't see it going well for her. Hikaru will most likely go through a creative block which will lead to her possibly being taken advantage of due to this. I see her feeling quite numb and it will take her quite some time to get over it. She needs to watch out for people in the industry that don't have her best interest. I see her feeling very venerable as well.

Youngeun: The High Priestess, Page of Swords, 3 of Swords, Knight of Swords.

Youngeun will most likely go through a phase of stagnation and just sitting back to re-valuate her life and options. She'll be more independent and all that. It's like she hasn't had much time to herself and she probably missed a part of her youth, so she'll be trying to enjoy life as much as she can. I'm getting "incognito" as well so I don't see her being quite active.

Yujin: Temperance, The Devil, Justice.

Yujin will feel very limited to do lots of stuff due to her age. She'll be fine though, she'll probably live a comfortable life. I'm not getting much info on it but I don't think she'll be an idol again. Justice.. (something with law?).

Yeseo: 3 of Swords rx, Knight of Swords rx, The Star.

Yeseo is the only one that I'm very confident that she'll be an idol again. I feel like this could have been a last minute decision and she could have been quite impulsive while making it. I see her embracing her new lifestyle quickly, so I wouldn't worry about her!

#kpop tarot #kep1er tarot #huening bahiyyih tarot #kang yeseo tarot #yujin tarot #chaehyun tarot #xiaoting tarot

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neonsix67 · 4 months

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Dreams are weird and crazy, and if I were to ever get into the science of the brain, this is what I'd want to study.

I've actually wanted to talk about this for a while because I find it bizarre, so for context: I have very realistic, vivid, and interactive dreams. So much so that when I wake up, I really need a 30-minute adjustment period to move from one world back to reality. This adjustment also helps me to remember what my dream actually was. I also feel it's important to point out that I am a very light sleeper, so I have a lot of trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. Because I will wake up multiple times a night, which results in me having multiple dreams per night.

My dreams range from realistic scenarios to the craziest plots you've ever seen,

I only have realistic dreams when I nervous or I know something important is coming up like the first day of school or an important work shift, so ill run scenarios on how to deal with it through my dreams. These dreams usually start people in my life, and it can be so realistic that when I wake up, I really have to question if that was something that really happened or not.

My favorites include the ones where there is a really cool apocalypse. There is some sort of evil, big baddie, or a natural disaster that left the world scrambling. In these, I usually have a mix of people I know and npcs that have intensive backstories that me as the mc already knows. These dreams usually have a bad ending that ends with me being ripped apart or bitten or just dying to wake up. (And mind you, i can have all five senses in my dreams, so when I feel pain, I wake up with the same sorta pain just nulled down) but it's all in good fun, I actually really enjoy these dreams.

The ones I usually don't tell people about are my weird and not easy to explain dreams. In these dreams, we have a sort of hero journey, and these dreams will last FOREVER. The story can shift from one focus to another in a snap, but it all connects together sort of cohesively. Out of all of the dreams I've had like this, each character has been original and not really based on any sort of reference from reality or content I've seen. I am never myself in these dreams, always some convoluted character with a drenched past (and in one case I was actually two at the same time, twins that I managed to see and feel at the same time) These dreams can really mess up my psyche and I have a lot of trouble adjusting back to the real world after waking up, especially if there is no conclusion. However, I do get good story ideas from it.

The most dream-like dreams I've had are the ones where I become aware, and thus in full control. These dream usually start out with a mash of a ton of contrasting ideas. For example: I'm in my elementary school gym with a bunch of weird creatures, outside the window I can see Rudolph the red nosed reindeer and Thomas the tank engine speeding down a street. Then I become hyper aware I'm in a dream and start to take control. These dreams never last long and I usually wake up a couple of seconds after realizing where I am.

With all this said I can have horrible nightmares but I usually blow them off due to their nature. I'm really quick to dismiss any sort of your typical horror as it just doesn't hit me. So my brain really started getting creative, making me witness my murder my own family, drowning myself in a shallow pool (I've never been scared of water, quite the opposite but that is just one that stuck out because I woke up very shaken), dropping babies off a ledge, etc. Pretty much these dreams dig into my fears of committing crimes I would never commit and 9 times out of 10 I usually can't say anything during these dreams. I cant speak, scream, nothing. And I always wake up with a start and drenched in sweat.

Now, the weirdest part I have is when my brain will try to sike me out. Sometimes, when I am done with a dream or am revving to wake up, my dream will "wake up" into another dream, but this dream is exactly my reality. I will wake up in the same bed I went to sleep in, go about my morning routine, talk with my dad or roommate, and go about my daily business. It isn't until one tint little thing out of the ordinary happens that I realize that this, in fact, is NOT the real world, and I really have to wake up. I get angry at those dreams because now I have to do everything I just did all over again.

And finally , my sleep paralysis dreams! These are really rare, and I've only had about 4 or 5 in the last couple of years. I used to get sleep paralysis quite frequently as a child, but something changed, and now it only gets it every now and again. I'm usually stuck unable to move, and I'm aware of this, however my dreams will make me seem as though I'm merely a camera angle in my own life and I'm able to pan around and witness whatever world is going on while fully aware that my body cannot move to experience it. This can range from my brain visualizing a conversation I know I can hear in the room next to me, to something where I am witnessing a monster killer outside my window creep closer to my paralyzed form. Funky things that are not preferred. I'm glad I don't get them much anymore.

#i sometimes feel bad when i go on a dream rant to spot #but then i remember they probably use it as plot fuel #i feel bad because they dont dream too often #or at least they dont remember a lot of them #but we often after waking up will explain what we can #for me i try my best to sumarize the experience #and i get really excited when we wake up and they go “i actually had a dream” and i sit my happy butt down #and swing my legs like a little kid #“tell me tell me tell me”#cw: gore #<just in case #dreams #vivid imagery #<also just in case

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