#I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what?

[glindaupland]

The Phantom of the Opera | Seoul, South Korea | 조팬텀 x 손크리 Review 4/6

October 13, 2023 - Matinée

The Phantom of the Opera | 조승우 Jo Seung-woo

Christine Daaé | 손지수 Sohn Ji-soo

Raoul, Vicomte de Chagny | 송원근 Song Won-geun

Carlotta Giudicelli | 이지영 Lee Ji-young

Final boss of ticketing, Jo Seung-woo! The last one I snatched out of the four in one single ticketing after an hour of suffering. He's a pretty big actor who sells out shows quickly and has also been in dramas and movies. By the time you make it into one of his schedules' seating charts, the seats are all grayed out. So I had to keep refreshing and playing fucking whack-a-mole with the single color specks for any released seats that would pop up. One time I even even made it all the way to confirming payment and it said someone else took it. I actually thought I was about to turn into the Joker. But I am stronger! I won! And after seeing his performance in person? It was worth the fight.

I'll start this off with this tweet:

Shoutout to the guy next to me that was in shambles crying through his binoculars I hope he lived. Admittedly I did get teary-eyed myself! Which is quite an accomplishment even if it wasn't full blown tears like when seeing Ju-taek because I thought I was immune to this show after so long! But this is like uber sad pathetic wet cat man. My seat was actually a great unobstructed view with lots of space in the aisle. The Charlotte is so small that absolutely any view here is a good one especially if you have a pair of opera glasses/binoculars. Also I was safe from the piercing screams of the ballet girls! Hurray!

Hannibal Rehearsal

I really thought "I'll only use my binoculars for the major scenes with the trio because it's too tiring to hold them up", but that was a lie because I loved observing the supporting cast and ensemble too much. This time I watched for the smaller details like Christine quietly singing along to herself on the side while Carlotta was singing 'Think of Me'. Both Christines do it, but I remembered to look for it this show :') Kim Ah-seon had been clearly still recovering from being sick the previous performances, but I think she finally had her strength again this show. I love how elegant and dignified she is and her strong line delivery

The Mirror

Hearing Raoul's voice made the Phantom shoot a dark glare towards the dressing room door. Then, with the slightest smirk, he invited Christine into the mirror. Is somebody proud they managed to swipe the girl from the pretty young rich boy tonight? Ha

First Lair | POTO / MOTN / STYDI

Even if he's like...the most sad sewer creature-y of the Phantoms he's still got his charm okay! His voice isn't very strong, but I think he was able to handle it well enough during my show. He sounds older than he is actually is to me. How do I elaborate without making it sound backhanded? Even though he struggles in some areas with his singing, I think his vocal color is still suited for the energy his Phantom has. I'm just going to have to hope you understand me 😭 Whatever he lacks in that department, he certainly makes up for it in acting. It seems like he never stops onstage, like he's always making so many little choices at every moment. So it was a bit hard to keep track of everything he did because he was constantly doing something and was really immersed. I liked the sort of dreamy delivery of the beginning lines like the whispered way he sings "어둠...속에 - in the darkness". Halfway through the song he seems to build a little more enthusiasm seeing how open she is to him. He used more soft hand movements to act out certain parts of the lyrics like both his ear and then his body when he sang 들어, 느껴 - hear it, feel it". It's like really wanted to paint a clear picture of his mysterious beautiful dark world of music for Christine. I liked when he did a gesture with his hands like energy bursting free when he sang his big note in “네 영혼 다시 태어날 순간 / The moment your soul will be reborn” (let your soul take you where you long to be). This version of the line is unique to his Phantom. He smiled a lot and although he had a bit of a slight odd nervous energy, he still managed to maintain eye contact with her most of the time. Once he finally held her, he rested his head on her shoulder and whispered his words into her ear. 👀 He looked really worried and tried to catch her when she fell. After putting the cloak on her, I think he went to touch her, but stopped himself feeling a bit nervous. He put his hand on his chest instead to finish his final note

"Fake it til you make it" was working so well until it wasn't. Whatever confidence he built up during MOTN...bye. He's a little scary at the end when he shrieks out the 'Curse you!' and an extra 'No!' But most of all he's just really sad. When he asked her "what did you hope to see?" while chasing her, his voice sounded hurt and there was fear in his eyes. Like why, why did you have to be curious when I actually had it under control somehow? He slid slowly to the ground in defeat halfway through the song when he began the crawl. He eventually stopped making an effort to cover his face on his way toward her. Maybe he was so destroyed he didn't have the energy to. I liked how natural his acting felt here. It was tragic without being over the top. But I felt this about a lot of his choices in general

All I Ask of You (Reprise)

What a sad little man, completely a wreck. He covered his ears pleading "그만 제발 그만 크리스틴 다에 ! - Stop, please stop, Christine Daaé!" There should be a Christine Daaé name drop counter for Jo Phantom. He loves to say her name!!

Why So Silent? / Notes II

Taking focus away from the main roles for a moment, André is sooo extra stressed by this point. He fumbled the score when the Phantom tossed it to him. He does this every show, but this time I only just noticed him quickly doing sign of the cross during Notes II when they were opening up letters. He got super jumpy Also, Firmin and André start laughing to each other and making silly gestures making fun of Piangi when the Phantom starts attacking him in his note, but as soon as he addresses them, oh it suddenly really wasn't funny anymore!

The Point of No Return

Somebody help this man he already got jumpy simply just hearing her start to sing. 🤭 JSW Phantom seemed like the weakest one here across from Christine. He’s writhing terribly and gripping himself He was startled the most when she was close behind and he began to tremble. But when Christine finally touches him he moaned a little. It wasn't very loud, but it definitely was there and he threw his head back. His hands reached up to his face as he looked up before he finally held hers. This proposal was a mess. He got down on one knee at one point, but then he got too freaked out and shot right back up again as if he realized it was too vulnerable of a position to be in. When he was unmasked, he didn't scream and it was actually really heartbreaking to me. Like I do love a good scream, but ouch. His face dropped and he froze in complete shock looking like he'd been stabbed in the heart. His eyes darted around for a moment seeing everyone watching him like a trapped animal. It took him a moment to snap out of his daze and run off with her.

Down Once More / Final Lair

After throwing Christine, he almost looked regretful like he realized he was too hard, but then tried to push forward. Because he was fueled by anger, he didn't hide his face away as much like usual. It was still clear he was very actively disgusted by it. He touched his face for a moment after he let go of her and then immediately wiped his hand on his thigh. This performance he was actually able to look into her eyes when giving her the bouquet instead of looking down in shame. When he picked up the mirror bride to toss her he sang his lines into her ear in a whisper and actually very gently just plopped her on the ground instead of throwing her. I love this weird little detail I won't lie...it was kinda cute and silly that he had to hop a little to reach Won-geun's neck with the lasso haha. It's not supposed to be cute but I find it cute okay. He covered his ears while crying when she was coming over to him before the kiss :( After the first kiss it looked like he put his face in her shoulder for a moment, but still didn't have his hands on her. He seemed to give in a little for a second, but then took her hand off his head, looked at it for a moment, and gently wiped it with his sleeve like he couldn't let her have his filth taint her... When he approached Raoul with the candle, he could almost barely be heard whispering "Raoul de Chagny..." slowly in a chilling way before releasing him and turning away. I think he harbors the most bitterness towards Raoul out of the Phantoms. He's the most insecure one, and Raoul is everything he'll never be. He fell and pressed his head into the ground roughly while shaking when he screamed for them to leave him. And his scream was so painful and raw I don't know how he lets that out. He stayed like this for a while before he crawled clumsily and quickly towards the monkey in desperate need of any kind of comfort. He put his forehead head against it, closed his eyes tightly and held it so closely while he sang Masquerade. Christine came back and he tried to fix his hair and clothes before going to her I think SJS Christine was a good match for his interpretation of the Phantom because of how unconditionally compassionate she is. He was very fragile and she's very caring and gentle. I think she really did view JSW Phantom as her guardian and guide and had a very pure deep kind of love for him. Maybe not romantic love, but it was very strong either way. She watched him closely in the boat as she left, but he was facing the other way gripping her veil, repeating her name over and over. He turned at the last moment and called out "Christine Daaé!" one more time to her running over to take in the sight of her one last time. His final lines are actually different from the other Phantoms. It only just hit me the other day that they're the same as the lines from the original production in 2001-2. No idea why it took me that long to make the connection, but I found it interesting enough to note!

I really want to do musical promo time, but I really don't think what's on youtube does him justice. So let me just say his 2019 Jekyll/Hyde + Sweeney Todd and his Hedwig? Incredible. There's a reason for that ticket selling power he has and I say that completely unbiased!

Also lol at the person in front of me on the plane to Seoul that was watching his movie 'The Classic' because I was like "oh hey it's you I'm seeing you in a few days"

#i love u pathetic little wet cat man #the phantom of the opera #오페라의 유령 #조승우 #손지수 #송원근 #cho seung woo #jo seung woo #sohn ji soo #song won geun #poto korea #poto #poto review

[ncruuk]

What are you most proud of writing this year?

Hmm.

My first thought when I read this was 'what writing?' as looking back, 2022 hasn't felt a good year. RL has really had a massive impact on my writing time (as in what time I do get I'm nowhere near the right headspace or environment to write) and canon hasn't helped the muse either.

I'm proud of finishing Cuccioli, pennelli e fratelli - I was writing it when my father died and life went inside out and, for a while, even the idea of writing again felt impossibly out of reach. So just getting back to that and getting it finished was a significant milestone.

But in terms of writing (rather than finishing) I'm very proud of writing A Beautiful Mess of a Changing World.

Although I never say never, I always knew it was a very long shot to ever expect me to write a 'married with babies' fic in any fandom - too many years ago to mention, I struggled enough writing canon children into my fics to know that it wasn't my strength or my interest. And yet, in this story, I wrote Maya and Carina married and with triplets.

It's also an alternative-ending/show fix-it type fic that set out to try and reposition Maya and Carina into a happy, angst free place within the canon car-crash that was the season 5 conclusion. I know that much of fandom struggled with parts of the s5 narrative decision-making canon took, making many find it hard to keep 'in' with the show. Personally, I was no different, with the snippets I was picking up from GIFs/clips/commentary posts all making me wonder what the ?&#@ was going on with the writers and why they were destroying their own characters...and to the point that I was struggling to get back to my first love in the fandom, which is my series of stories involving the puppies (see above), and when I did, the ensemble was 'off' in those stories because I couldn't rediscover the s1-2ish family dynamics (pre Ripley death) that I'd written the stories with.

I don't write angst (without a clearly signposted happy ending from the outset). I do try to write drama, but situational drama during which the protagonists rise to the challenges I throw at them while in strong, drama-free relationships. I also don't generally write fights and hate....but in this fic I did. In this fic I allowed myself to write Maya and Carina in a SFD environment that had deteriorated even further than we see on the show....write them coping with station and hospital 'families' who were self-absorbed, arrogant and sanctimonious, happy to preach about family while isolating and abandoning Maya and Carina.

Others were writing similar situations, showing the ways that it almost breaks Maya and her relationship with Carina, but that is not me as a writer. I use fandom to be hopeful, to anticipate a hate-free, equitable and equal LGBTQ+ world where people do come through the chaos of life. So I wrote my version of the dawn that comes after the darkest moments. A dawn that put Carina's career and culture in the spotlight, showing that for all of the battles of misogyny, sexism and homophobia Maya was facing as a female firefighter in Seattle, being an OBGYN, being a Southern Italian bisexual woman, being Carina was not hate or discrimination-free. (And I'm hugely grateful and thankful for @bellalinguista helping me translate research into a credible character response, the story owes much to her).

It's a product of its time - it's a story I could only write in 2022 (sadly, because what a shit year that was in terms of domestic US news as well as global events, brought into canon that was going from bad to worse at an equally rapid rate). It's a story about hope, about there being a way forwards no matter what, about the dark being followed by a dawn (as different and unexpected as it might be). It's a story that maybe deserves an epilogue.....maybe.

Long answer to a short question!

Thanks for asking ☺️

Happy New Year!

[aio-rya]

"Iris" — Malleus x f!Reader

「Requested by: Anon」

『This is the Iris version I used for this songifc, I felt it was perfect』

ー・Φ・ー

And I'd give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

Once again, his path brought him to the human child's dorm. It looked so different by daylight, the view of the old building was not that bad but night in that place had another meaning: his encounters with his little mortal. He was unbelievable about his thoughts, flying around her, as if he could smell her sweet perfume and feeling the tip of her fingers grabbing his coat. A little laugh scaped through his lips as he turned around, taking his leave —unexpectedly, he spotted someone sleeping under a tree near the path that led to main street.

As he walked by, he realised it was his little human friend. She was so peaceful and quiet while sleeping, her pale eyelids and her pink lips made her look so innocent, like a porcelain doll. Avoiding any kind of noise, he sat down next to her, under the fresh shadow of the tree. He remained there the whole afternoon, watching over her sleep and even humming a lullaby he remembered Lilia used to sing for Silver.

Malleus was fighting with the impulse of caressing her soft skin, startled when she, still sleeping, moved her head near to his legs. Babbling quietly on her sleep.

"Tsuno-chan..."

As the sun was setting on the horizon, on the opposite side to where he and his beloved girl were facing, she woke up —even then, sleepy, she was beautiful.

"You look like an angel" he whispered, putting his book down on his legs while she sat down.

"How long have you been here?" she asked with drowsy voice, yawning.

He chuckled, "long enough to take care of you."

"Then, you are my guardian angel" she answered, getting nearer.

"I am no angel. I have lived in a cold, enormous and empty castle for centuries. But having a friend, loving someone like you... That is the nearest thing I have to heaven" he muttered, as if he was afraid of those words.

She smiled and his heart beat increased.

"Should we get inside?" she asked, standing up as he pulled her arm. Her tiny body landed over Malleus' legs.

"I'd rather stay here with you" he said, lifting her ching with a finger. "Do you feel it? The cold shiver running down your spine?"

She remained quiet as he started getting near, mixing their breathing. Is he going to...

"What are you thinking about?" he whispered almost against her lips.

She stared at his beautiful green dragon eyes, then at his lips, lightly blushed.

"You."

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

And sooner or later, it's over

I just don't wanna miss you tonight

They saw stars shining in the distance as night covered the sky, cold wind caressed their skin as moonlight witnessed their long unspoken love. Life was so different before, without him, and for the great prince, it was too without her. Everything he knew was loneliness as he only had Lilia by his side, for eternity, while the human lifes passed by in the blink of an eye. He never really cared about them, the sons of men, since there were millions and almost everyone of them were similar.

But she. She was an exception. He was condemned to the hell of a life that would last eons, such as Lilia, he will live as the people he loved died —and now, he was afraid of losing her, the young lady who laid down on his chest, the one who never feared him, the so daring and brave human he was holding between his arms.

"What is it, Tsunotaro?" she whispered, tightening her hold over his waist.

"You will never learn, won't you?" he laughed, kissing her forehead. "What should it be?" he answered, trying to keep the mysterious atmosphere.

"You hold your breath when you're worried" she stated, burying her nose on the collar of his shirt.

"How would you know that?" he asked, giggling. Oh, how happy she was, since no one but her coulg listen to him like that. So... Tender.

"I was told by a little bird~" she crooned, lifting her head.

"A silver one, pheraphs~?" he followed her tone, mischievously.

"Pheraphs not" she laughed, laying over him, looking straight into his beautiful emerald eyes, "What is worrying you, my king?"

My king, he taught. You only called him like that when you were serious.

"Human life is... Ephemeral. It has and end, sooner or later. That's why you live every moment with such intensity, so you can leave this life without regrets" Malleus started explaining, caressing her plum lips with his cold finger, "You treasure every important memory, every true love's kiss, every reward earned after taking a risk... And yet, we the faes live long enough to remember our humans with love and pain."

"Is... Is this some kind of... Farewell?" the young one asked, with some tears stuck on her throat.

"It is not. If fact... I want to do as you" he smiled, holding the back of her head, getting near to her face, "I want to engrave this moment with fire on my heart. Your smell, the smoothness of your skin, the taste of your lips..." his voice was deeper, not sad but nostalgic, his lips dangerously close to hers, "Breathing the same atmosphere as you."

He leaned forward to catch her between his lips, cold but sweet, tender but needy, fragile as strong. She was breathless, speechless —it was a feeling none of them had experienced ever before.

"I want to remember this night, so I won't ever miss you again. I want to remember every inch of you forever."

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

Yeah, you bleed just to know, you're alive

"If that is what makes her happy, I'm willing to sacrifice my own happiness" he stated with powerful but polite voice, staring blankly at the letter on the table aside him.

"You have surely grown up, Malleus" certain ancient fae answered with a gleam of proud on his voice, leaning forward, putting his hands over the prince's shoulders. "But you will not be happy with her choise, you can lie her. But you can't lie yourself."

"I--"

"I know. Life is not as fairytales, you may feel you are near your 'happily ever after', but fate is unpredictable" Lilia spoke before his ward could, trying to understand how he must have been feeling about losing her, his beloved human child.

"I'm fine" Malleus stated once again. "I can't allow myself to break down, it is not proper of the Heir of the Valley of Thorns". He was lying to himself and he was clearly aware of that, not even his guardian, who knew him as the hilt of his very own sword, could be fooled by his unconcerned visage.

"Malleus... If you need to release those feelings, I--"

"It's fine, Lilia. I'll be fine. There's no need for crying nor overthinking the situation" he stood up from the chair at the Diasomnia's dinning room and made his way toward the door. "I'll take my leave. I need to prepare a farewell gift for the Child of Men. That is proper from a Prince."

I never mentioned crying, my dear. The short fae thought with a sigh , taking the letter between his fingers while walking towards the main door of the castle.

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

"What is this?" she asked, taking the black velvety box Malleus handled out to her.

"A gift. A farewell gift" he said bitterly, also tenderly as the eyes of her human watered.

"F-fare...wel..." she whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek. "So it is true? Are you willing to sacrifice your own happiness for letting me go, then? I... I can't. An eternity thinking about this moment, heavier than our memories together..."

"We have to fulfil our own duties. And you have a world waiting for you" he insisted, taking a few steps back.

"I have a world waiting for me, but it is not in the other side of the mirror. It is here, with you" her voice was shaking.

"You are a human. Your life is as fragile as a leaf... It is made to break, you are made to die."

"That's how life works."

He suddenly felt her hands trying to reach his face, tip toeing because of the height difference. She lifted a black hair strand from his forehead, revealing his birth marks and caressing them with her thumb; he was astonished.

"You truly are a fearless human" he said, recovering from the initial shock. Leaning forward for her to touch his whole skin.

"I don't have to fear you" her eyes were now closed, as he made possible to touch each other forehead, "I know you. I've walked with you... Even in my dreams."

Her arms surrounded Malleus as she held him tightly, burying her nose on his neck.

"Even if the world doesn't see what I do, I will still love you. And if you ask me, I will stay. I don't care if they never understand, I don't mean they do--"

She was silenced by a sudden kiss. Something she never expected to be so rough yet too careful.

"And this is my gift to you: I will always love you..."

"Until my last breath."

ー・Φ・ー

It has been a while since my last songifc. So... It's up to you guys, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.

#twisted wonderland #twst #ツイステッドフンダラーンド #ツイステ #twisted wonderland malleus #malleus draconia #malleus x reader #マレウス・ドラコニア #aio-rya

[shelby-love]

JAY HALSTEAD

#2 Alone.

Requested: yes

Prompts: none

Warnings: soft angst but with a cute ending

Authors note: Here is the long awaited part two! Hopefully you'll enjoy it as much as you enjoyed the first one xx

PART // 1 //

~

"So...you're mad at him for leaving?" Gabby asks you. She had already knew that you were a bit mad before you even told her what happened.

But mad wasn't the word you would use.

"I'm not mad!" You fight back. "I'm... Disappointed."

Gabby stays quiet for a second.

"I need him right now." You huff and fix the wrinkled areas of your hospital gown. It's something you do whenever you're frustrated. Or even something remotely un-positive.

"I was shot two times Gabby!" For drastic measures you put up your two fingers in the air. "I don't care that I'm whining like a teenager. He was ready to flee the scene with me but he can't come to see me when I wake up from a 4 hour long surgery. Make it make sense goddammit!"

Your friend stays silent before nodding her head in defeat. She sees your point.

What Jay did was something a senior detective shouldn't have done. Ever. Leaving the scene instead of helping was every bit wrong in his Sargent's books and you're sure that he god an ear-full from Voight.

But not even Voight is that uncaring to prevent him from visiting you as some sort of a punishing method. Jay not coming is all him. No one made him tell Will to call him once you're awake and not visit.

"I'll let you rest." She announces quietly before giving you a quick hug. Quickly and quietly she retreats into the hall of the hospital, and soon leaving back to the firehouse to continue her shift.

You're alone in the hospital within the next 15 minutes. Your colleagues and friends scurry into their respective vehicles and drive off.

Every now and then Will swings by to keep you company but apart from that you're all on your own. You aren't updated about the case or anything for that matter.

You're pleasantly surprised when you see Burgess make her way towards you. She's dressed in civil but wears her badge proudly on the belt of her dark jeans. There's an air of importance and power around her that almost makes you feel proud that someone like her is paying you a visit. The proudness is overthrown by the love you have for your friend.

Therefore, you can't help the smile that breaks out and completely demolishes your grumpy and brooding facade.

"Thank God you're okay!" She exclaims, voice fill with relief and happiness. "Jay said you were fine but I just had to see for myself."

Your eyebrows furrow and a scowl makes its way to your face.

"Oh no, what's wrong?" Her big doe eyes round in surprise when she sees your face.

"What else did Jay say?" You ask her before you can stop yourself.

A sudden wave of realisation comes over her and she sighs. "Y/N he's beating himself up. He thinks it's his fault that you were shot."

"That doesn't give him the right to leave me when I need him the most!" Your outburst makes the monitor next to you spike up, almost enough to alert you attending doctor. "He left the crime scene to be there for me when I was knocked out and didn't know where I was but then decided to leave my side completely when I woke up in shock and pain from a 4 hour long surgery!"

It should've been reversed.

"He's blaming himself for it Y/N... He told us that he won't be able to look at you until he finds the ones that did this to you." She talks about it so easily that it almost makes sense. You're too high on meds and you were out for way too long to suddenly feel forgiving.

"Well maybe I didn't want that from him..." You clutch your hands together in a strong grip and let your gaze fall on them. "Maybe I just wanted him to be the first person I saw when I woke up. I needed him to be there for me. Do you know how freaked out I was when I woke up and didn't feel my leg?"

Kim shakes her head lightly. She doesn't know. She can only imagine how you felt at that moment.

"He doesn't have to send me apology flowers or chocolate...but the fact that he didn't even call me. It hurts Kim."

At your truthful confession she stands up and pulls you in for a hug. You got a lot of them today but somehow her's felt the most warm and welcoming. She silently told you a lot of things.

Kim Burgess managed to snatch a few more minutes with you before she was called back.

"Could that be them?" You ask hopefully. Sitting in the hospital injured wasn't bearable knowing that the ones who did this to you managed to run away.

Kim nodded. "Jay has a lead. I gotta go."

She excused herself and quickly slipped out of your hospital room. Soon after, one of the lovely nurses payed you a visit once again with some hardcore medication that knocked you right out into deep slumber.

***

After some time you manage to lift your heavy eyelids long enough to get used to the bright light above you. You manage to stretch your arm long enough to press the magic button that will call someone to your room.

Halfway to the magic button you hear rustling sounds of one's clothing. It's like someone's in the room with you.

Instantly your paranoia kicks in. "Who...who's there?"

Your line of vision is met with an all fimilar set of eyes. The eyes, the nose, the lips, the cheeks...they all belong to only one person in the world.

They belong to your boyfriend.

"Oh, it's you." You tell him, clearly showing zero interest in talking to him. The wish to sit up becomes too strong that you can't ignore it any longer. You prompt yourself on your elbows, feeling pain in your side pierce you like an arrow. The noise that comes out because of the pain doesn't go unnoticed by Jay who quickly stands up to help you.

"I got this." You tell him through gritted teeth. You're still mad and disappointed with your boyfriend.

"No you don't. Don't be so stubborn and let me help you." He shoots back at you and hurts your already injured pride.

"N-no! You don't get to act like a boyfriend now!" You slap his help away like the petty little thing you are. After this new round of meds and a little more time napping with their help, you feel a bit more willing to forgive him. Not that you will show him that. He needs to see what he did wrong.

You can see it in his face. He wants to groan and shoot you a look that will tell you to stop being stubborn but he can't. He knows what he did and he also knows that he needs to explain himself in order to earn your forgiveness.

"Why did you leave me?" You ask. It feels good to finally ask the question that's been sitting on your chest for so long. "I understand what your job is and I also know that I can't expect you to be with me 24/7 but... Call me when she wakes up? They gave me my phone back, Jay. You could've just called me to see if I'm alive."

The fact that he didn't even do that... Instead he told his brother to call him when his girlfriend wakes up. It made you angry.

"You bolted with me in the ambo... You left everything and everyone behind to come with me and when I woke up you weren't there." You feel wet moisture (also known as tears) surround your eyes to the point he and his dark bomber jacket become blurry.

Every feeling you have is highlighted. You gulp the little saliva that created in your dry mouth and ask, "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I couldn't stand looking at you while you're hurt like this, knowing that it happened because I didn't protect you." Jay confesses, bringing his hands to his face. He looks like he didn't sleep at all. "The men who did this to you got away because I didn't stop them. You were shot because of me. Not once but twice."

His words sink in. Your boyfriend is a proud guy. He protects what's his (not that you're an object) and when he doesn't succeed in that it eats him alive. It's the worst thing that can happen to him.

As his girlfriend, he already feels guilty that you have to be alert every day while you two are together because of his job. He thinks that the least he can do is protect you at all costs while you're in his sight.

What you didn't know is that before you went in to bust open the bunker door your boyfriend did everything in his power to get you out of there. To stop you from even entering the place with Severide in the first place.

But he couldn't. Not when his girlfriend is a very well respected member of CFD's famous squad group. Removing you just because he wanted to make sure you were safe was like saying that you couldn't do your job well. And Jay wasn't going to go that far and lie about your capability to do your job. If he did that then you would never forgive him.

And he knew it.

"I needed to find them first. I couldn't just let them go and get the upper hand." He told you sincerely and even managed to grasp your hands in his. "I was worried sick about you Y/N. I couldn't show it because Voight was going to remove me from the case and I needed to be there when we found them."

You take in his confession and nod. You take your hand from his grasp to wipe a few tears away before placing it back down and squeezing tight.

"Did you arrest them?" You ask.

"I kneeled them on the ground and managed to shoot each one when the open fire started." He said proudly. His statement brought a smile to your face. You always liked when he was badass.

"If I forgive you," His eyes sparkle when he hears that making you fight back a bubble of laughter. "Do you promise to never ever ever do this again no matter what?"

If, God forbid, this happens again you want him to be there for you when you wake up. Not chasing bad guys around Chicago while you fight for your life at Med.

"I sincerely promise." He says, pulling your hands up to your face and giving each a kiss.

"Now... Apologise." You lean towards him, smirking like a devil. "And make it good."

MASTERLIST

#jay halstead x reader #jay halstead fanfiction #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead #chicago pd imagine #chicago pd fanfiction #chicago pd #chicago fire imagine #chicago fire fanfiction #chicago fire

[karlajoyner]

Karaoke Night (Booboo Stewart x Reader)

A/n: So I hope you guys like it! I'm currently working on the rest of my requests. I'm probably gonna hold off on the sunset curve one cause I don't know if I'm gonna make that a smut yet. Also I do have a JATP groupchat for 18+ and a tumblr taglist so comment if you wanna be added to any of those!

Requested by: Perksofbeingjune34 (Wattpad)

Warnings: Drinking

————

I set Jadahs makeup in place smiling at her reaction.

"Thanks y/n! I look great" She grinned.

"I'm so ready for tonight"

"Me too Jadah. We should get going before we miss getting a ride"

"I'm sure Booboo will wait for you" She teased knowing about my small crush on the actor.

"He has to. We're roommates" I stated fixing my eyeliner in the mirror in front of us.

After a long day my uncle Kenny invited the cast and crew to a karaoke night to celebrate none other than the birthday of Jadah Marie who was turning 16. And like any good niece I of course said yes to the invitation being very good friends with the young girl. Fortunately enough, having talent in the makeup department gave me an opportunity to work with uncle Kenny on a lot of amazing projects. Including his current one. Julie and the Phantoms.

I had worked with some of the cast previously including Jadah herself, Cheyenne Jackson, and of course my best friend and roommate Booboo Stewart. Who I had met on the set of the very first Descendants. We've been close ever since. Even renting an apartment together in LA and of course begging my uncle to pair us as roommates here in Vancouver.

I sighed running to the back of the trailer pulling out my gift for Jadah, handing it to the girl.

"Here open it when you get the chance. But we should really get going" I said taking off my jacket showing off the nice dress I had put on for tonight.

"Thanks. You look great. I'm sure you'll catch someone's attention tonight" She spoke wiggling her eyebrows.

"Jadah I did not tell you about my crush for you to tease me all the time. I told you so you could stop accusing me of it"

I playfully rolled my eyes, shutting the door behind us.

"Crush on who?" A familiar voice asked from behind us making my eyes go wide.

"Booboo what are you doing here?" I asked taking in the boys appearance.

A nice navy blue suit paired with a pair of white shoes. His sleeves rolled up to his elbows and white button down opened just enough to show off the gold friendship necklace I got him for his own birthday.

"I waited for you. I promised everyone I'd get you two to Karaoke in one piece. Now answer my question. You have a crush on who?"

"Harry Styles" I replied.

The young girl clearly stifling a laugh from beside me.

"Oh" He replied with a frown.

"Well that's nothing new. We should get going. Don't want the birthday girl to be late" He smiled at Jadah as we made our way towards the parking lot.

The ride to the restaurant wasn't a complete loss. Jadah making the tension in the air float away. Starting off by playing I spy to telling stupid jokes causing laughter to fill the air.

"Okay we're here" Booboo stated as we pulled up to the front of the restaurant. I thanked the valet who opened my door waiting for Jadah and Booboo.

The two each took one side of me as we walked towards the karaoke bar. Immediately spotting the table that was making noise. I giggled as Owen waved us over crazily.

The hostess immediately walking us over.

"Jadah! Y/n!" Madison shouted getting up to hug us.

I smiled sliding into the booth in between Savannah and Booboo.

"You look beautiful sweetheart"

"Thanks uncle Kenny. This place is fancy"

"This place has drinks" Charlie stated holding up a menu"

"Hallelujah to being 21" I announced taking a menu.

"You want something?" I asked the boy beside me.

"Can't I'm driving"

"Right. Ones of us has be responsible"

"And sober enough to carry the other one to her bedroom so she doesn't trip over her own two feet" He teased bumping my shoulder.

"It was one time"

"It was twice actually" Booboo corrected me making me playfully roll my eyes.

"Did I mention you look beautiful by the way?" He spoke getting closer to me.

"Uh no. Thank you though" I shyly smiled looking over the menu.

"Your very welcome. I'm a lucky guy you know?"

"And why is that?"

"Because I'm going home with the prettiest girl here tonight" He whispered in my ear. My cheeks burning brighter than a thousand suns.

"Really? Where is she?" I attempted to joke to calm the blood rushing to my face.

"For your information she's sitting right next to me. You know since were roommates and all"

"Oh right of course" I spoke shaking off the slight tinge in my heart.

The waitress soon made her way over taking down our drinks. I ordered something semi strong knowing I'd need it to get through the night.

I loved the cast. They were amazing really. But they take a lot of energy to keep up with which I don't have on my own. Me or Booboo for that matter which is why instead of going out the two of us enjoyed to stay in and cuddle. Of course having a movie marathon. Usually comedies. Like all close friends do. Right?

"So who's gonna go up first?" Owen asked no one daring to speak up.

"Come on I get a cast full of talented singers and no one wants to sing" My uncle said as yet another person went up on stage.

"Oh can one of you go up there and like serenade me or something" I asked excitedly.

"Booboo your girls talking but I don't see you moving" Savannah said making everyone chuckle.

"Oh Y/n can go!" Madison yelled excitedly.

"No she's can't" I said playing with my fingers.

"Oh you totally could. We don't judge here" Charlie agreed.

"I really can't. I do makeup I don't sing"

"You do you liar. I've heard you when you think you're alone in the makeup trailer. Your amazing"

"I'm not singing Mads"

"Come on it can be my birthday present" Jadah grinned.

"Forget it guys. My own niece hasn't even let me hear her sing" My uncle spoke making me roll my eyes.

"I'm not doing it. There's no way"

"Come on y/n/n" Booboo finally spoke placing a hand on my arm.

I looked up at the man in front of me and back at his hand. He quickly moved it away sending me his signature smile.

"You know you have it in you"

"Let's get her drunk!" Charlie yelled raising his arms in the air making us all laugh.

"Charlie might actually be on the right track" I chuckled.

"I'll get the shots" Booboo spoke slipping out of the booth.

I took my 4th shot beginning to feel the liquid courage take over me.

"Are you drunk enough yet? Owen asked. I giggled nodding my head watching my uncle nod his head in disapproval.

"I brought you guys here to celebrate poor Jadah's birthday and you repay me by getting my niece drunk" Uncle Kenny spoke making me burst out in laughter.

"Your gonna be so proud of me" I laughed pushing Booboo out of the booth and standing up.

I made my way towards the stage with the help of Savannah. Watching as she walked towards the dj leaving me alone with the microphone.

I grinned upon hearing the beginning of a familiar song.

Yeah, everybody's got a thing

But some don't know how to handle it

Always reaching out in vain

Just taking the things not worth having

But don't you worry 'bout a thing

Don't you worry 'bout a thing, mama

'Cause I'll be standing on the side

When you check it out, oh

I sang watching the reaction of the table I was previously sat at. They were shocked as they should be. But the tequila in my system couldn't care less.

They say your style of life's a drag

And that you must go other places

Just don't you feel too bad

When you get fooled by smiling faces

Don't you worry 'bout a thing

Don't you worry 'bout a thing, baby

'Cause I'll be standing on the side

When you check it out

When you get it off your trip

Don't you worry 'bout a thing

Don't you worry 'bout a thing, yeah

Come on!

Everybody needs a change

A chance to check out the new

You're the only one to sees

The changes you take yourself through

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Don't you worry 'bout a thing (thing)

Don't you worry 'bout a thing (thing)

Don't you worry 'bout a thing (thing)

Don't you worry 'bout a thing (thing)

Pa-pa-p, pa-pa-pa-pa

Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa

Pa-pa-p, pa-pa-pa-pa

Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa

Singing at the top of my lungs. I began to dance. Watching the mood of the place change. Everyone beginning to clap along. My eyes landed on the boy I had been crushing on for a while now.

Don't you worry 'bout a thing

Don't you worry 'bout a thing, mama

'Cause I'll be standing on the side

When you check it out

When you get it off your trip

Don't you worry 'bout a thing

Don't you worry 'bout a thing, mama

'Cause I'll be standing on the side

When you check it out

Oh, don't you worry

Don't you worry 'bout a thing, mama

'Cause I'll be standing, I'll be standing

When you

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

Don't you worry 'bout a thing

I finished with a bow before making my way back to the table. Taking the shot that sat in front of Charlie.

"Hey!" He yelled.

"That was amazing!" Madison shouted as the whole table began to cheer.

"Thanks guys. It was fun"

"This could be the start of your singing career"

"Thank you but no thank you uncle Kenny. Baby can you get me another shot" I patted Booboos shoulder.

"Did you just call him baby?"

"I meant Booboo" I corrected myself.

"I think you need some rest if your mixing up words" Booboo spoke standing up.

"I-I'm fine" I whispered looking up at him.

"We can rewatch Harry Potter"

"And suddenly I'm ready to go home" I shouted.

"Happy Birthday Jadah" I grinned at the girl.

"Thank you for coming. And my makeup. And my gift. And everything else"

"Your welcome. You deserve it all!" I shouted lifting my arms in the air. Immediately stumbling backwards only to be caught by a pair of arms.

"I'll get her home safely Kenny. Nothing to worry about" He spoke from behind me.

"Thank you. And thanks for coming guys" My uncle spoke as I was led out the place.

"I'm ready for movie night!" I shouted walking out of my bedroom in a pair of sweats and an oversized tee shirt. Booboos shirt to be exact.

"Me too!" He shouted from the kitchen.

"Hogwarts here we come" I spoke sitting down on the couch. Seeing he already had put the disk in.

I watched as he made his way over with a bowl of popcorn at hand.

He placed it on the table laying down on the couch. His head immediately falling onto my lap. I giggled running my fingers through his hair as the opening of the movie started.

We were only 6 minutes in before I glanced down at my lap. There he laid looking so peaceful. So adorable.

I sighed watching as his gaze moved towards me.

The sound of the movie that once filled the room now silent.

"Okay what's up?" He questioned sitting up.

"C-can I sing you something?"

"Like now?"

"Yeah it's a song I wrote"

"You write?"

"Every once in a while. So can I?"

"Of course"

I grinned running to my room pulling out the acoustic guitar inside my closet.

I rushed back outside sitting beside him once more. Biting my lip I began to strum away at the chords.

Your love is bright as ever

Even in the shadows

Baby kiss me

Before they turn the lights out

Your heart is glowing

And I'm crashing into you

Baby kiss me

Before they turn the lights out

Before they turn the lights out

Baby love me lights out

In the darkest night hour (in the darkest night hour)

I'll search through the crowd (I'll search through the crowd)

Your face is all that I see

I'll give you everything

Baby love me lights out

Baby love me lights out

You can turn my lights out

We don't have forever

Ooh, baby daylight's wasting

You better kiss me

Before our time has run out

Mmm yeah

Nobody sees what we see

They're just hopelessly gazing, oh

Oh, baby take me, me

Before they turn the lights out

Before our time has run out

Baby love me lights out

In the darkest night hour (in the darkest night hour)

I'll search through the crowd (I'll search through the crowd)

Your face is all that I see

I'll give you everything

Baby love me lights out

Baby love me lights out

You can turn my lights out

I love you like XO

You love me like XO

You kill me boy XO

You love me like XO

All that I see

Give me everything

Baby love me lights out

Baby love me lights out

You can turn my lights out

In the darkest night hour (in the darkest night hour)

I'll search through the crowd (I'll search through the crowd)

Your face is all that I see

I'll give you everything

Baby love me lights out

Baby love me lights out

You can turn my lights out

I strung the last chord watching as a small smile played at his lips.

"I-it was about you in case you couldn't tell"

"I was hoping you'd say that" He grinned leaning in.

Our lips met in the middle. Moving together in sync. And for a split second it was like the world had disappeared as his hand moved up to caress my cheek.

I giggled as we pulled away watching his face. His happiness radiate with the same energy as mine.

"I really like you" I admitted feeling that blood rush back to my face from earlier.

"I really like you too y/n/n" He whispered leaning in once more.

————

Up Next: Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Sunset Curve x Reader (Maybe)

Carrie Wilson x Reader

Owen Patrick Joyner x Reader

Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Alex x Male Reader

————

@lolychu @headheartbellarke @bookish0918 @kcd15 @ifilwtmfc @moviesbooksandfandoms @lovesanimals @lavender-writer @kaitieskidmore1

#alex jatp #charlie gillespie #flynn jatp #jeremy shada #julie and the phantoms #julie molina #luke jatp #madison reyes #owen patrick joyner #reggie jatp #owen joyner #jadah marie #savannah lee may #nick x reader #nick jatp #luke patterson x reader #luke patterson #luke x reader #sacha carlson #booboo stewart

[mkstrigidae]

Okay so I'm making my way through your masterlist and I'm in love?? Like let's start off with Winter's Child- a masterpiece. You make Sansa a loving and relatable character and interweave the powers into cannon in a way that actually makes cannon make more sense (preconceived biases and such). Jon and Sansa's relationship is SO SWEET and they way they bonded was absolutely adorable (and the backstory with the houses and the powers they have make so much sense) 1/3

(2/3) Neon Rain literally the best Cyberpunk AU! I've ever read. Like what you did with the world building?? The stark class differences (haha see what I did there?), the choices in SOUND, and I could FEEL myself there! I love the family dynamics between the Starks and I'm loving the little details you're dropping with the Greyjoy's , Jon's parentage, and all of the medical procedures. Jon is dramatic af and I love it and Sansa is a bamf AS SHE SHOULD. Nothing but love for this

(3/3) A Past Worth Having has a special place in my heart. You build up this setting like a tapestry, just seeing more richness and depth the longer you look. I'm proud of Sansa for holding her composure, just FEELING in the angst that the older Starks feel at her return, and loving the relationships with Robin and the rest of the Starks + Jon Arryn. The detail that you're putting into the investigation/Oberyn is awe inspiring and I can't wait to see what you do next with the trial + Jonsa

Haha thank you so much!!! This is such a sweet ask to get! My response is under a cut, because this might get kind of long! (lots of my own meta below, bc i accidentally had a lot to say, haha)

With ‘Winter’s Child’ I’ve really enjoyed weaving in fantasy elements to the world because I like to look at stories and pick at loose threads until they unravel and asking ‘what if?’. I thought it would be a super interesting concept to take a character like Sansa, who in ASOIAF is exactly what she is supposed to be as a noblewoman of her class and conforms very well in that role, and put her in a position where she was essentially a societal outcast in a lot of ways! In WC, Sansa has a lot of similar coping mechanisms to ASOIAF Sansa, in that she sort of romanticizes society to avoid thinking about how absolutely awful it is. In ASOIAF, Sansa holds tight to the notion of knights and chivalry and courtly love to cope with the fact that she essentially has no control over her future and, as a woman, is basically property. In WC, I have her really struggling to make herself into that perfect lady and using that as a sort of shield to the fact that, without a gift, there isn’t anything she can do to improve her lot in life. Sansa has these ideas about becoming a perfect lady and hoping that being perfect in other areas will ‘make up’ for what society perceives as deficient about her, but is more jaded than ASOIAF Sansa due to her age and her earlier exposure to the ills of society. So you get a Sansa who gets along better with Arya and Jon as a result, in part because she’s had that exposure to what it’s like to be an outcast in society. I think that the best fantasy has a really strong emotional backdrop (a really great example is ‘Fruits Basket’ which starts by hooking you with this wacky, fun premise about people in a family turning into animals when hugged by a member of the opposite sex, and slowly builds into a point where you can see that the family ‘curse’ is a representation of generational and familial abuse- of bonds that should be broken, and of bonds that may kill us even as we cling to them- it’s extremely complex and rich and if you haven’t read or watched it, I can’t recommend it highly enough), and so while I really love writing about the fantasy aspects, and writing scenes where Sansa does really cool things with her ice powers, the core of the story is really about Sansa coming into her own, and learning that she was a person who was worth something even without any sort of gift. Sort of overcoming societal stigma and realizing your worth and forcing others to see it. It’s so much fun to write, but i’m stuck at the moment, because i need to reread the books, and my roommate is borrowing them right now haha!

God, APWH is like, indulging my inner world-building suspense-narrative loving writer persona. It’s literally my all time favorite trope- which is of someone growing up to find out that they’re a long-lost somebody or have family they never knew about- combined with a lot of research on trauma (which i’ve been doing for academic and other reasons for a while) and a lot of slowly growing psychological horror courtesy of Petyr Baelish (trust me, it’s going to get WAY more intense). There are so many pieces of media that I love, but I think that GRRM has so many characters and such a well fleshed out world that it’s very fun to dive into his worlds and create something there. Inherently, I love a slowly unraveling mystery and morally gray characters, and this is allowing me to indulge in both!!! World-building is my favorite, because i tend to be fairly detail oriented, and i’ve been laying bread crumbs in so many places throughout the story to hopefully build up to a decent conclusion! I know sort of how it ends, and I think people are going to absolutely lose their minds if I execute it correctly. We have a few chapters to go until we get to anything in the semblance of a trial- there’s some more emotional aspects that I think need to get addressed first, and so I’m so grateful that people are so supportive of being willing to wait for the Jonsa, because they really start spending a lot of time with each other during the trial and prior to the trial (i’m a big believer in bonding via long car rides and so there’s a lot of that!). I’m just so humbled and awed by the response to it- I never dreamed that people would enjoy the story this much- when I started it, I was writing a light-hearted family piece that wouldn’t be too long, and, uh, it kind of evolved from there. Clearly, I am not good at keeping things concise haha.

I left Neon Rain for last, because your comments on this one really made me smile! Of all of my stories, oddly enough, Neon Rain is actually the most deeply personal for me, and I’m just so flattered at your kind words! I spend a lot of my time thinking about the flaws inherent in our society, and without getting too detailed, Sansa’s experience with a family member struggling in the medical system is not unfamiliar to me. There’s a weight that comes with the realization that a system that is supposed to care for people is based on capitalistic ideals of profit maximization, and as someone who has experience working in the healthcare system- no matter how bad you think it is in the US, I can promise you it’s actually worse.

Neon Rain actually just started out as a series of mental images from listening to music that I had to get down on paper, and evolved from there. I actually really love the ‘soulmates’ and ‘class differences’ and ‘mastermind art thief’ tropes, but am incapable of writing fun stories without thinking about the reality of those tropes (see APWH for another extreme example of this haha), and so as I was writing and trying to capture this mental image, the rest of the world began unfolding around me. Jon is different because of a different upbringing here, and so is Sansa, and to see the formerly idealistic Sansa become so jaded by the time she meets her soulmate is just catnip for me. You have this interesting dynamic between them, because Jon wants nothing more than to have Sansa in his life, and give her everything she wants and needs, but where the old Sansa (who was arguably middle-class and somewhat naive, as financially secure teenagers understandably tend to be) would have swooned over that, the Sansa who meets Jon when the story begins is seeing the world and all the unfair and unequal systems in it. She can’t just live happily ever after with him right away- there’s a sense of guilt there, of sansa not feeling like she deserves nice things, and there’s also Sansa’s deep sense of compassion and kindness that won’t allow her to just live life as the well taken-care-of girlfriend of a wealthy man, because she isn’t able to just put on blinders and pretend that all the injustice in the world around her doesn’t exist, simply because it wouldn’t affect her that way anymore.

I think that the core to writing Sansa, for me, in any universe, is that she is a kind and compassionate person who is capable of feeling sympathy towards even the people who have done horrific things to her and her family- that emotional awareness and empathy is a harsh thing to have in a world like Neon Rain, and in our own world, honestly. I’m so glad that you appreciate Sansa’s BAMF-ness in the story- I think that her chapters demonstrate that she is capable of doing extraordinary things when she’s doing them for people she cares for, to be kind (The scene where Alayne helps Robin down from the eyrie is most indicative of this I think), and so in this world, I just love having Sansa be a complete badass out of necessity. Also, it’s fanfiction, and I really wanted to give Sansa a cool motorcyle, because no one else was gonna do it!!!

Also, my characters like to run away with me, and before I knew it, Rodrik Greyjoy had a huge adorable crush on Sansa in the story that I immensely enjoy writing. The Greyjoys are fun because they’re all absolutely insane, and i’m a total sucker for ‘gruff dangerous character is completely a sucker for the kind sunshine-y character’ trope.

God, this accidentally got really long??? I’m sorry- thank you so much for such a kind ask!!! I love hearing what people think of my stories, and this was so sweet :)

#my writing #joanofarkansass #ask answers

[topherfoxtrot]

Ice cold eyes❄️

❄️Anders Cain smut yeahh. Don't worry you don't need to watch the movie, just keep in mind he's a hockey player with daddy and anger issues.

✨As usual reader is first person and neutral. The dialogue is fun but the text gets super explicit at the end. Be advised. TWs include sex obviously, daddy calling, feet kissing and cum swallow.

🙏Don't forget to like, reblog or comment anything if you enjoyed this piece of moral depravity ^^

Being Anders' neighbor was weird. Some days I could listen to him screaming at the tv or at the cellphone. Some nights I could hear his bed moving around while he had sex. Sometimes his apartment would stay in absolute silence for almost a month. Other times I could listen to him crying in the dark. Those usually came after he had a phone call with his dad.

Tonight was one of those nights. I have a really good hearing so I could always hear his cellphone's ringtone. I paused the Netflix show I was watching and silently walked towards the wall so I could hear him better. Anders' 'hey dad' was kinda of shy. There was some silence. He tried to speak but his father on the other end of the call interrupted him. Anders listened to whatever his dad was saying in silence, except for an occasional deep sigh. He tried to speak again but was interrupted once more. Anders finished the call with a "yes sir".

I knew what was coming but I couldn't take myself away from the wall. I listened to the few dragged footsteps Anders made before collapsing on what I assumed was his couch. Anders cried as silently as he could, I never saw his tears but I could listen to the sniffs. At this point a huge part of me had already decided going to his house so I could help him in some way. I had to wait for the next stage though.

Anders got up and growled. Like a feral animal he approached his punching bag and started to beat the shit out of it. After living next to Anders for more than a year I could actually pinpoint when he was casually training and when he was having one of those anger releasing moments. I walked around my house trying to come up with an excuse to pay him a visit while the punching continued.

There was not a cup of sugar or borrowed plastic pot or any favor to return. We barely ever talked to each other apart from the eventual good mornings and good evenings we would say to each other when we crossed on the hall. Hell I only knew his name because I heard some of his friends saying it in own of those boys nights they have.

I pressed my lips and frowned in disappointment before walking back to the wall. The punching had stoped. I took a deep breath while gathering the courage to actually go talk to him. I left my apartament and walked towards his door still minding my steps as if I was doing something imoral (like invading his privacy). It took me a couple moments to actually knock on his door. I heard him moving around, he clearly wasn't expecting anyone.

When Anders opened the door the first thing I noticed was the bandaid on his nose and the little wound on his left eyebrow. And of course his eyes were bloated due to the recent crying. We were both wearing the same clothes: sweatpants and an old t-shirt. He sniffled hard before talking softly.

"Can I help you?"

"I'm gonna be honest with you." I switched the weight on my feet, "I know you have been crying."

Anders looked at me like I've just caught him completely naked. His eyes traveled to my bare feet and up to my head real fast. They crossed the hall and then stopped at my eyes. It felt like there was more than one sentence forming inside his head at the same time. I purposefully passed my hands on my arms and elbows. He blinked a couple times before inviting me to come in as I knew he would.

The punching bag felt familiar even though I've never actually seen it. I spotted the couch too and the tv. His apartment had the same blueprint than mine and yet it looked really different. I could tell that some of the furniture was too expansive to be there. And the whole place smelled like the cleaning products I couldn't afford to buy. In an instant I remembered all the occasions I would hear the broom and the vacuum working at his apartment. Anders' voice took me out of my own thoughts.

"I'm sorry you heard me." He came from the kitchen holding a glass of water.

"You don't need to!" I reassured him.

"No." Anders shook his head, "I shouldn't cry like that. I'm a grown up. I can take it."

I actually chuckled upon hearing that. He looked offended so I quickly grabbed the glass of water to assert some kindness.

"I'm sorry! It's just that... that's not what being an adult is about. At all! Besides my relationship with my dad is also not good so I can definitely relate."

"You heard the call too?"

"Come on Anders we've been living next to each other for over a year man!" I almost spit the water when I realized what the silence he made actually meant. He never told me his name. I chuckled again, embarrassed this time, "Sorry, I heard your friends calling you that."

He quickly looked at the wall as if trying to see through into my apartment.

"My hearing is above average good, I guess." I smiled akwardly, "And the walls are super thin."

"Actually now that I think about it." Anders looked at me again, from head to toe like he did at the door, "I've heard you to."

Hearing that made my spine freeze. I replayed all my days in my mind. I work from home so I basically stay indoors 24/7. I often listen to music but never loud enough to disturb anyone. I also listen to podcasts while cooking and always end up crying with Netflix shows not targeted to my age. What has he heard??

"what have you heard?"

Anders actually smiled. He walked to the kitchen and came back with a bottle of expensive wine and two cups.

"Are you in a hurry?"

***

We spend some good forty minutes talking on his couch while drinking wine and eating sunflower seeds. Anders said it was about the gains. 'Sunflower seeds are for the winners!', on his words.

We exchanged cooking recipes and cleaning techniques. We also talked about how hard (yet good) it was to live alone. I talked about my work at the computer and he talked about his hockey games and how he would sometimes travel to play far away leagues, which explained his occasional absence.

As the alcohol made it's magic we started to talk about more silly stuff. He said that I had a really bad taste in music, which I agreed. I said that once I found out his name and heard his friends using all this sport vocabulary I googled 'Anders + hockey' to figure out who he was. And I was actually quite surprised he was considerably famous even though I had no idea who he was. I almost considered selling his address to crazy fans. That made him laugh

"How are they like?" I poured more wine into both our glasses, "The fans I mean."

"Eh, you know." Anders shrugged, "Some of them want to drink a beer with you. Some of them want to kiss you. And some of them want to kidnap you."

"And have you ever been kidnapped?"

"Only on purpose." Anders winked at me. That made me smile. His beard was not really my thing but looking closely he was indeed quite attractive. Or maybe that was just the wine talking.

"I mean, I'm at your house and you're drunk. I could very much kidnap you right now couldn't I?" without putting any thoughts into it I raised my feet to the couch because they're so so damn cold. Anders grabbed my feet softly and placed them on his lap.

"You're also drunk. Do you think you can keep me here?"

"At this point we both know that you can only get kidnapped if you're willing to. So the question is: do you want me to kidnap you, Anders Cain?"

He looked at me with those bright blue eyes of his while gently caressing my feet. Slowly and without taking his eyes off me Anders brought my left foot closer to him and kissed it. No one has ever done that to me. And very few people have looked at at me the way he was looking.

"How much do you think you father would pay for your rescue?"

"Honestly? Not much..." Anders placed my foot on his lap again and for a few seconds he looked away from me. I bit my lip in frustration.

"Let's put it this way then." I placed my almost empty glass of wine on the expansive mat, "What about you being daddy tonight?"

The look on Anders' face made it clear that no one has ever offered him such position before. And I was so glad I could be the first to help him explore such profanity. His hands moved from my feet to my ankles. I got closer to him and grabbed his glass of wine to placed it on the mat as well. From this distance I could see a little bit of gray in his eyes. We kissed.

At first softly. His beard felt weird against my cheeks and chin, but not for long. I could taste the wine on his lips and mouth. Once his tongue came into play I felt his hands on my thighs. That made me kiss him even harder. It's been more than a month since the last time I had sex, I definitely missed the touch. I tried to jump on his lap but he grunted in pain and quickly asked me to back away.

"What is it?" I asked worried.

"Hockey stuff." He briefly explained before taking off his shirt to reveal the wounds around his ribs and shoulders. In the heat of the moment that only made me desire Anders even more. I took my shirt off and got up to get closer to him. I gently placed my hands on his waist before kissing him again.

"Don't worry." I whispered, "I'll be gentle daddy."

That made Anders hyperventilate briefly, which of course only made me proud of myself. I kissed his big hands. Then I kissed his forearms and biceps. His shoulders were broad and strong and yet lean. I kissed his shoulders and back being careful not to put too much pressure of the wounds. He flinched slightly but didn't ask me to stop.

Facing Anders again I grabbed the sweatpants and lowered them slowly. His eyes followed mine like that scene from karate kid. That made me feel powerful but I promised 'daddy' I would be kind. I would bring him to orgasm. I would bring him to forget his problems for a while. I would bring him to relax.

I grabbed Anders' dick in order to pull him into his room, but he didn't move. Instead he pulled me closer and kissed my neck. His bite made electricity run through my whole body. When we parted he looked at me with such predator eyes. Blue as ice. Sharp as a knife. Terrifying is not the best word to describe it but it's the first one that comes to mind.

Suddenly I remembered all those videos I digged up online of Anders beating the shit out of other hockey players. Did he look at them the same way he was looking at me? Did they like it as much as I am? Unfiltered duo to the alcohol I whispered.

"You're crazy."

"You like it." He whispered back.

It felt like we should smile but we didn't. Our eyes kept locked in a horny stare. I grabbed his dick again and pulled him into his room without taking my eyes off his. Same blueprint. The thing that catch my attention was the daisy flowers on Anders' bedstand. They seemed out of place for some reason. Or maybe I just didn't know him well enough.

I made him sit on the bed, back on the headboard. He made himself comfortable and I got naked in front of him. He looked at me from head to toe for the third time that night. I licked my own lips in anticipation. His dick was rock hard. Inviting me.

I crawled towards Anders. My hands caressing his ankles and thighs. I kissed him in the mouth again before kissing his neck. He grunted with my weight on him, but only slightly. I then proceeded to kiss his chest and nipples. With my mouth I followed his blonde treasure trail. I kissed his balls testing their sensitivity. Then licked his dick from base to head. When I finally put his cock inside my mouth Anders shivered a little.

His dick was not too long or thick. It was avarage but it only made it easier for me to do my thing. I absolutely took my time. I payed attention to every moan and slight movement Anders made. Slowly deciphering what he liked best.

When I felt like he was approaching climax I went faster for the final prize. He started to moan louder like I've heard from my apartment. I recognized it. I knew it was time. I swallowed his dick into my throat until I felt my nose touching his pubes. He cummed hard into my mouth. I closed my eyes and moaned loudly as I swallowed spunk after spunk of his delicious cum.

After his orgasm I kept sucking his dick until it became soft again. Anders kept moving his finger toes around and grunting in pleasure as I finished my job. When I eventually got satisfied I moved to get off the bed but Anders pulled me back to a kiss. His eyes were still as blue as ice but they looked at me with much more kindness now. We both took a deep breath before kissing again.

***

I didn't like to sleep in the house of the people I had sex with but my apartment was literally a few steps away so I didn't mind. Anders and I took a shower together. We were more sober at the time and talked drowned in the kind of intimacy only an orgasm can grant you, even if temporarily. I slept on his bed with him. We woke up a few times because I would accidentally put my weight on one his hockey wounds.

In the next morning he left to train and I left to my apartment for working. He spend a couple days away and I caught myself checking the hockey leagues every now and then. We had sex some other times after that. I don't know if we consider ourselves friends but one thing is for sure: at this point we know each other better than anyone.

#Anders Cain #FoxtrotFanfic #Wyatt Russell #smut #goon last of the enforcers 2017 #as you know english is not my first language #I'm literally so proud of this writing #also this was the hornier i got so far #hope y'all enjoy :D

[hwauas]

🎭: "belladonna"

jung wooyoung | 정오영 - 2,086 words

you couldn't believe this day came. the adrenaline was rushing through your veins. Wooyoung, the Jeong Wooyoung, coming over tonight. you spend the day preparing your house, cooking the dinner, and of course getting ready. you needed everything to be ready, and to be perfect.

     the table was ready. some flowers in a vase. two plates, two cutlery sets, and two glasses for water. you dispatched few pearls on the white tablecloth. you created a soft atmosphere thanks to candles on the table, and little lamps in the rooms. you made sure all your apartment was cleaned. everything needed to be at its place.

it looked like you were having your boyfriend over. but Wooyoung wasn't your boyfriend. and would never be your boyfriend. who would like to date someone like him? it was just a formal dinner between you both.

     of course, over the year, you learnt to stop having pity for wrong people. your work forced you to build your heart into a heart of stone. people were bad. and you couldn't do anything for them. it was the path they choose, and so they chose the consequences. they were aware few people — or nobody — would appreciate them. and these person would slowly turn themselves into agressive and antisocial, becoming lonely, so lonely. this is how it works.

Wooyoung was one of them. he was searched by a lot of mafia gangs. sometimes for little crimes: swearing, assaulting, or for some debts. but also for big crimes: stealing important informations from these gangs, spying on them.

among these mafias looking after him, the popular S-SK band of mafias. according to rumors, S-SK was for Seoul-South Korea. yet, any informations ever leaked before about that or something else.

     anyways, Wooyoung was clearly involved into the dark side of the city, and even S-SK was chasing him. you were doubting about something or someone saving him. he was in too big troubles.

     tic. toc. tic. toc.

     the clock announced 8pm, and quickly after, the doorbell announced someone was here. Wooyoung, of course.

you didn't really like the fact you were having someone's like him over. but you had to do it for your boss. it was just an evening. just a moment, before getting rid of him.

     “y/n. thank you for receiving me.”

Wooyoung entered your apartment and removed his shoes.

“i was surprised when i was told to come here instead. weren't we supposed to meat at your boss's place?”

     “yeah, that's right. but there is a hold-up. he asked me if i was okay with seeing you without him and i just couldn't cancel this dinner less than twenty-four hours before. i hope you don't mind?”

     “not at all. i appreciate you didn't cancel. i'd have get mad. thank you.”

     you faked a smile, and asked him to follow you to your living room. you made him sit on your sofa. and after giving your dear Wooyoung something to drink, you sat besides him, on the sofa.

     “so. about this deal. what is it?”

Wooyoung asked as he sipped on the whiskey you gave him.

     “oh come on. we have so much time to talk about this. don't be this formal.”

Wooyoung only sighed and sank into your sofa.

“when did it all started?”

     “start what?”

by his behaviour and the tone of his voice, you recognise a nonchalance. he was annoyed — you cut him to the quick.

     “being... bad. stealing, spying on, having debts on purpose. all that.”

you had a serious gaze on him. you knew you needed to have a control on yourself not to help him — anyways he was a lost cause. you just needed to stall for time.

     “i don't remember when exactly. i was just... young. it started with little things. and i was failure to my parents. they never encourage me to do something. the only one that believed in me left. since i've never been a fan of school, i never did anything by myself to study, to work or anything. you know.. just people here and there got me into this. and i'm not complaining. i have somewhere to sleep. something to eat everyday. somewhere to take showers. clothes. it's enough i guess.”

he was avoiding your gaze, looking straight in front of him. there was the turned off TV.

     “who left? who was he, or she?”

you were curious about what he just told you. it was very intriguing: you needed to know more about this for your own pleasure.

     “San. a friend. my best friend.”

Wooyoung sipped on his whiskey again, and so you did on yours. you didn't really know what to say.

“but you don't need to know much about him, right? so leave him alone.”

     with that, Wooyoung finished his glass of alcohol in one gulp. you understood what does this mean: you couldn't ask anything about this San anymore. you then stood up and went to the kitchen. Wooyoung wandered around to find the dining room, and sat on a chair in front of a plate. the atmosphere got him less tensed, and you immediately knew you did good.

    you came back with the dish, and served you both. it was steaming, yet once you came back from the kitchen to put back the dish there, you both started to eat.

     “so i was saying, about-”

     “about the deal. i know. this is what you're waiting impatiently since you arrived here, Wooyoung. okay. then let's discuss about this.”

you didn't say anything, wanting him to go first. after all, he was the one obsessed with that. right?

     “so, since this agency is holding files we are both interested in, but since their security is very strong, i thought about infiltrating someone in there. we can pretext it's for an internship, for few days. but then, the person there has to be very cautious.”

Wooyoung didn't say more after, and continued to eat. it seemed he was liking what you've done.

     you waited longer, hoping him to continue — which he didn't. you then frowned, and stopped eating for a moment.

“what for?”

     “the security. all the parts in the building are well secured.”

he rolled his eyes, as if you asked the dumbest question ever. but you were too focused on his lips to notice this. Wooyoung was eating everything. and this fulfilled your heart with joy and happiness.

“do you think somebody will make it through the whole security system to steal the files?”

     ”of course.~”

     you kept in mind all the informations he gave you until now, eating your plate till it was empty. you were thinking again and again about what he told you. you had to remember everything. every single details. but you wanted to stare at your victory too.

     “i'm getting thirsty. can i have some.. water.. please?”

Wooyoung's voice was very low. every words seemed hard to say.

     “of course, Wooyoung.”

you sat up and went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from your fridge — one you prepared on purpose for him before, meticulously. you came back, and opened the bottle to pour it in his glass.

“by any chance, you don't have any information about the security? where are cameras? where are stocked the videos? where is their room to look through these cameras? any motion detector, or metal detector?”

     Wooyoung tried to drink, but he couldn't swallow more than three times. he gave up for the moment, and just focused back on you.

“i do. it's in my phone. but as long as i'm not sure we're both into this, i won't show anything.”

his voice got raspy, and he ended up almost whispering. you faked a reaction, worrying about him.

     “are you okay? you wanna lay down maybe..?”

you asked with fake worried eyes. but deep down, you were happy. everything was working. everything was going well.

     Wooyoung nodded. he took a deep breath as he was trying hard to keep his head up. his pale skin under his dark clothes started to shine: he was sweating. drops here and there were forming, rolling, and disappeared somewhere on his clothes.

     you stood up and went by his side. you tried to get him back on his feet, and almost pulled him through the rooms to lay him down on your sofa — but you knew this position wouldn't help at all. you made sure he was comfortable in your sofa, and left to clean the table. once you were in the kitchen, far from him, you couldn't help but squeal in happiness.

     “y/n: 1. Wooyoung: 0.”

you whispered to yourself, all happy about what you achieved. you were cruel, but you were loving this part of you — even though it already scared you in the past.

     “oh please don't scream like that! my head! it hurts even more!”

Wooyoung tried to shout out, but it hurt him even more than the squeal you did. since you knew what happening to him, you knew this noise you made have been altered: the sound seemed closer, stronger, and higher.

     “i'm sorry.”

once again, you used your talents to fake your emotions. worry, and guilty about your squeal. you put down the bottle of water and the glass on the coffee table.

“i'll get you some medicines. and a wet towel. wait for me.”

     you rushed through your apartment to get these. once you were in your bathroom, the door closed, you took out your phone to call your boss. of course, you tried to stay as discreet as possible. you even put a random towel in the washbasin and turned on the tap to pretend you were indeed moistening the fabric for him.

     “about time! i thought you would never call me!”

     “i'm sorry boss. it got a little bit longer. but everything's fine. he ate everything. and i managed to gave him water too. and of course, i watered the poison down in this water too.”

you said with shining eyes. you were proud of yourself. it was an another mission you accomplished.

     “okay but the way you're getting rid of him, i don't give a fuck, Belladonna. i wanna know about the informations you've got from him.”

     you tried to sum up all the informations your boss needed. anyways, you would meet him to tell him everything in details.

and you smiled as your boss again complimented your work.

     “i knew you wouldn't disappoint me. you're not the best S-SK member for no reason.”

     you finally hang up with him quickly after. looking at your reflection in the mirror, you offered yourself a smirk. you made sure to arrange your top, making sure to reveal a tattoo on your collarbone. the words 'S-SK : Belladonna' were written here, under your skin.

you were a member of this mafia band. Belladonna was your code name, and somewhat your new identity since you chose this path.

even though you did horrible things, you would never ever give up on  S-SK.

     you took the towel, and barely wrung it. you came back by Wooyoung, slowly dying in your sofa. and the first thing he noticed what your tattoo. the fear slowly appeared in his eyes, and all over his face.

     “S-SK..? Belladonna..? i trusted you..! how could you..!”

Wooyoung tried to do something, but he was too weak. even screaming was hurting him even more.

     “shhh, honey... the poison is taking the leads. give up. you have no chance.”

    “the.. poison..?”

     “the belladonna, honey. why do you think my code name is Belladonna? because i kill with the belladonna, of course.”

you put the towel on his forehead. it would change nothing. of course.

“belladonna, a flower. isn't it paradoxical that a flower.. so precious, so delicate, so beautiful.. can kill a human? i look harmless. but i kill. just as you, i'm a bad person, Wooyoung. you're not the only mafiosi here, honey.”

    as Wooyoung finally gave up, you took his phone from his pocket. you left your apartment, locking him up in there. anyways, as he was dying, he couldn't do anything.

you texted two S-SK members to ask them to get rid of the corpse for you. and of course, your boss and you would use Wooyoung's information without any misgivings.

     in this life, the strongest makes the rules.

it's killing.. or being killed. and guilty or sorrow weren't feelings anymore for you. a S-SK mafia.

#ateez #atiny #hongjoong #kim hongjoong #seonghwa #park seonghwa #yunho #jeong yunho #yeosang #kang yeosang #san #choi san #mingi #song mingi #wooyoung #jeong wooyoung #wooyoung angst #wooyoung x reader #jongho #choi jongho #ateez imagines #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #ateez angst #mafia au

[coloredgirlfan-fiction01]

There was nothing more tiresome than photoshoots. They drained your energy and demanded your patience and the best version of yourself.

The clock on the farthest side of the white painted room read 1:31pm which meant that it's been six hours since you started working and had a decent break.

But your manager insisted that the more hours you pushed in, you'd get more time to relax and do whatever you wanted afterwards.

You knew that he was right of course but you were tired and on the verge of collapse, but you were determined to stay strong and get your work done.

You loved being a celebrity, so if you had to stand on your feet in uncomfortable heels for hours to take pictures for your fans then so be it.

"You're doing marvelous y/n darling. Just a few more and you can take a ten minute break. We still have to cover the summer collection for next week OK?" Your manager said to you not even looking up from his phone as he walked across the polished floor.

You often prayed to have enough courage to stand up to Timothy. He was a good manager to some extent but he often fails to remember that you were a human being and not a robot.

But you could never, the guilt of doing something like that to someone would eat you alive.

Jimin always says you're too nice for your own good sometimes, and he was right.

Your parents always taught you to be good and kind to the people around you no matter who they were. You never disobeyed them and always strived to be someone they would be proud of.

So as always to decided to suck it up and push through.

-----

When you were granted your well deserved but short ten minutes break, the first thing you did was ask for your phone and headed to your dressing room.

Jimin had called about six times and let a few direct messages for you about an hour ago.

'Hey princess 😘👑'

'Just got done with practice with the boys, tired and missing you lots and lots😚😚'

'How's the photoshoot going?'

'Are you staying hydrated like you promised?'

'Hope that bossy manager of yours isn't over working you🤨'

'If he is tell me and I'll come over to give him a nice chat😤'

'Do you want me to come over again?'

'You know what never mind, I'm on my way.'

You couldn't help but smile at his messages. He was always so worried that you were working too hard and not getting enough rest.

Him and Timothy often bumped heads about what's better for you in both your health and career. Jimin wins most of the time of course but Timothy was your manager and despite his methods he's always keeping you on top of your game.

There was a knock on the other end of your door. You called for the person to come in and you  quickly jumped to your feet in joy to greet your boyfriend.

"Jimin!"

"Hey Princess."

He wrapped his arms around your waist tightly as you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him full on the lips.

There wasn't a day that went by since you two got together that Jimin hasn't made an effort to see you despite your busy schedules.

You could never figure out what you did to be with someone so wonderful and genuine, but somehow you did.

"I missed you princess. You look tired are you ok? I knew you weren't taking enough breaks, where's that manager of yours?"

"Jimin calm down, I'm fine really. He sent me on break so I have some time to relax."

"Ten minutes isn't a break y/n. You need food and time for yourself. Luckily for you I foresaw this and took the liberty of reserving us seats at that cute little resturaunt you like so much down town."

"As wonderful as that sounds Jimin I can't. I'm on a ten minute break right now and if I'm late you know now Timothy gets."

"Y/n you need to eat and you need to rest or else your gonna burn out."

"I know but it's fine, really. After I'm done I'll have all the time I need to relax."

Of course Jimin could see right through that reassuring smile of yours. He could see the absolute exhaustion on your face and the need to get out and get some fresh air.

"Y/n I'm taking you to get something to eat, put on something more comfortable and we can go."

"But Timothy said-"

"Y/n, don't argue with me. Go get your coat, change your shoes and put on something comfortable. I'll be outside waiting."

You stood there absolutely shocked at the level of authority in Jimin's voice. Usually he doesn't show his more assertive side but when he does it's almost scary.

So deciding not to fight him, you got changed into a pair of baggy jeans and a T-shirt that made you look like a normal everyday person and not a celebrity. You tied your hair up and happily whipped off the layers of make-up your crew had applied.

Just as promised Jimin was outside your dressing room waiting. He smiled seeing that you looked way more comfortable than before.

He laced his fingers through yours and lead you out of the studio. You passed some of the crew members that handled lighting, make up and your walldrobe, all asked you were you were going to which Jimin was happy to answer on your behalf.

"She's taking a break so don't call or bother us for the rest of the day."

You were almost to the elevators, to sweet freedom and quality boyfriend time when you heard Timothy yell from behind you.

"Hold it right there you two!!"

Jimin rolled his eyes behind his pink glasses and turned around to look at a Timothy who was approaching them.

"Where do you think you're taking her we're not done working."

"Yes she is. As her manager I'd think you'd see that she's tired and clearly overworked. So I'm doing for job for you and giving her a much needed break that doesn't last for ten minutes every eight hours."

You watched a little scared as Jimin and Timothy stared eachother down with absolute hated for eachother in their eyes.

Timothy may be in charge but Jimin was not to be messed with, especially when you were involved.

"Just because your her boyfriend doesn't mean you can show up here whenever you feel like Park, Y/n is a five star celebrity which means she has places to be and deadlines to be met." Timothy said clearly pissed.

"I might be her boyfriend but I'm also quite persuasive. So if I'm to mention your negligence to I don't know say the media, how do you think they'll react to you overworking their favourite celebrity. You wouldn't want that kind of pressure over your head would you?"

Jimin had that look of total done-ness with Timothy. His brown eyes showing no emotion whatsoever.

"You wouldn't."

"Do you really wanna find out?"

The tension was thick at this point. Almost half of the crew had gathered around to witness what would happen. Timothy hardly ever caved and Jimin always got what he wanted, things could go either way.

"Fine Park, you win. But you better bring her back in four hours or else I'll come looking for you myself."

A sigh of relief left you, at least things didn't hear up like last time.

Jimin pressed the elevator button and wrapped an arm around your waist.

"You can be pretty scary sometimes you know that Jimin?"

"I know, but you still love me."

"Of course."

#Park Jimin #Black reader #Jinin x reader #BTS #Jimin x black fem!reader

[goosegoblin]

I hope you don't feel like you've been getting too many ED questions lately, feel free to ignore this if you do!

I just don't really know what to do. I always used to be told when I was younger that I couldn't have an ED because I wasn't thin enough. It's taken me years (and CBT) to get to the point where I can actually just eat and not constantly be anxious about eating in front of people. But I've been putting on weight recently (turns out pandemics are stressful) and my family have started going on about me looking fat etc. I don't want to be fat, but I'm worried that if I try to diet now I'll just go back to my old ways and undo all that work.

I guess what I want to ask is how do you find a midpoint? Is it normal to struggle so much?

Also thank you for replying to other people with such compassion when they ask you similar things.

Thank you for taking the time to reach out to me- I love you. You did a good thing in writing this message and I am proud of you.

Honestly, the thing is that eating disorders- and recovery- don’t occur in a vacuum. If I turn on the television, I’ll see diet ads. If I go on Facebook, I’ll see statuses about weight gain and weight loss. If I go on Reddit and there’s a gif or a video of a woman who dares to be overweight, half the comments will be about it. We are all affected by the society we live in, and the society we live in is one that glorifies thinness and undereating as signs of goodness. I’ll tuck the rest under a read more to keep this from being too long. 

I will give you an example with some details fudged for the sake of anonymity. At my last work place, myself and several other people all consider ourselves to be recovered from our EDs.  There was a strong culture of diet and weight loss talk among other staff, however, to the point when I had to start actively shutting it down on shift because of how much it was affecting some of the recovered people. Even if the people making comments didn’t mean to cause harm, they were causing harm- both to themselves and to others.

Your family clearly do not ‘get’ it. I will try not to read too much into what you said, but I will say that ‘going on about you looking fat’ does not seem like a healthy or supportive environment, and that I am genuinely sorry they speak to you so dismissively and unkindly. Much like my recovered friends, it is no surprise that when plunged into an environment that takes the toxic elements of diet culture and turns it up to eleven, you start to struggle more than usual.

Pandemics are, indeed, stressful! They also alter many parts of normal life. Turns out staying indoors all day with no routine and lots of anxiety/ panic can cause people to eat more and gain weight- who knew, right? If you want to try and make some changes to feel a little more healthy, that’s absolutely fine. I would recommend trying to get in some daily exercise if you can- most lockdowns still allow a daily walk, for example, and there’s literally countless yoga and stretching videos on the internet. You could look into stocking the house with healthier snacks, getting more involved with cooking, or using CBT tools to combat binge eating if that’s something you struggle with (the HALT tool being one that comes to mind). But at the same time, I would not say you need to diet, and I would especially say you should NOT diet in a toxic and damaging environment where the chance of relapse is especially high.

And you know what? It is better and healthier to be overweight and happy than it is to be an average weight with an eating disorder. If it helps, though, feel free to think of it this way- the pandemic will not last forever. You will not be in this place forever. Losing weight, even if it feels important, is not urgent. There is no need to take drastic action immediately. Your mental health will always be more important.

Oh, and I’m sure you know this, but weight is not the defining symptom of an ED. You can have any eating disorder, including (atypical) anorexia nervosa, at any weight. The people who told you you weighed too much to have an ED were incorrect, and also, I hate them.

You do not need to be less to be good enough. Reach out to me any time you want to chat.

I love you xx

#eating disorders cw #long post for ts #Anonymous #honk response

[arofili]

Half-brother, half-hatred

some Fëanor & Fingolfin fluff to brighten your day! inspired by @sweetteaanddragons’ fic

[also available on AO3!]

~

Ñolofinwë stared. “You—what?” he asked, unable to believe his ears.

The look Fëanáro gave him was so disgusted and condescending that Ñolofinwë was immediately assured that he had heard wrong. But then Fëanáro snapped, “You heard me. Do not make me say it again.”

“I'm—not sure I did hear you,” Ñolofinwë said. “Because I believe I heard you tell me that you loved me, which certainly cannot be correct.”

Fëanáro made a noise in the back of his throat that in someone less dignified than the Crown Prince of the Ñoldor would be considered a scoff. “I am not prone to repeating myself, half-brother, especially not in this circumstance where such a statement is difficult enough to wring from my lips.”

“Forgive me if I am uncertain of your affection, brother,” Ñolofinwë said, biting back as much sarcasm as he could, “but your attitude does not match your words. You must understand my confusion.”

“Yes, I said it!” Fëanáro gritted his teeth, a bit of that mad fire flashing in his eyes. “But only to appease our beloved father.”

“You should not say things you do not mean,” Ñolofinwë said, forcing lightness into his voice. He had not expected an admission of affection from Fëanáro to impact him as much as it did; he had not expected an admission of affection at all. He loved Fëanáro, of course, and hated him perhaps as much, but he had long since accepted that Fëanáro resented him wholly and without reservation.

To hear that was not the case—

“I speak no lies,” Fëanáro insisted, his back straight and proud. “I never have.”

Ñolofinwë was at a loss for words. He still did not quite believe Fëanáro.

“Do not look so shocked,” Fëanáro rumbled. “I would not have tutored you, tolerated you, treated you with an ounce of respect if I did not—” He grimaced. “If I did not love you,” he finished. “You know of my hatred for Melkor, and for the Queen. I give them no such leniency.”

On another day, Ñolofinwë would have taken umbrage with comparing his mother to the Dark Vala, but he knew better than to press the point in this moment. He felt like a child again, hanging onto Fëanáro’s every word, yearning for the slightest hint of affection or approval from his elder brother. And there had been such moments, though they were few: when Fëanáro graced him with a rare smile when he caught his first prey on a hunt, or a brief nod when Ñolofinwë offered a sufficient rebuttal as they debated, or a possessive protectiveness when Ingwion made veiled comments about the younger prince’s inferior abilities compared to Fëanáro’s with the undercurrent of This is my half-brother, and I alone am allowed to mock him.

But never, not once, had Fëanáro spelled out any positive feeling for him, and certainly not in so direct a fashion.

Fëanáro furrowed his brows. “Speak, Nolofinwë; your silence is more unsettling than any patronizing falsehood of reciprocation would be.”

“You fool!” Ñolofinwë cried, unable to repress the impulse to smack Fëanáro on the shoulder. Fëanáro drew back, insulted, only for Ñolofinwë to pull him into a firm, swift embrace, burying his face in Fëanáro’s shoulder. He held on only for a moment, tears budding in his eyes, and shoved his brother away just as quickly, scowling as fierce as Fëanáro had moments earlier.

Now it was Fëanáro’s turn to stand bewildered, uncertain of how to react. Ñolofinwë wiped his eyes and glared, exclaiming, “I have never once lied about my love for you, Fëanáro. I adore you; how could I not? You are my elder brother—all I have ever wished for was your love!”

“A political farce,” Fëanáro said weakly. “An attempt to wrest power from the rightful heir.”

Ñolofinwë laughed. “Politics is a complicated game,” he said, “and I admit to playing my best cards, but affirming our brotherhood is not simply a courtroom strategy! And I would be a politician unparalleled in my skill, to have been cozening up to you since birth.”

“I have not the talent for such long games,” Fëanáro muttered, and Ñolofinwë only snorted.

“You have a talent for everything, Curufinwë,” he dismissed. “Tell me, brother: you admit our father set you up to this confession, but I am certain this is not the first time he has made such a plea. Why now, when it so clearly hurts your pride?”

Fëanáro gave him a look like he was an idiot; this, at least, was far from new. “Your son is about to be born,” he said. “Atya does not want him to enter a divided house. And my quarrel is with the Queen, and to some extent her children—not with a newborn, especially when his mother is so esteemed a graduate from Rúmil’s tutelage. I would hope, at least, that Anairë’s child could come to love his uncle, no matter the fault of their relation.”

If Ñolofinwë had been holding back his emotions before, he let them flow freely now. He smiled, touched beyond measure that Fëanáro was willing to put aside their differences for the sake of the babe. Fëanáro and Anairë had been close, once, before she wed Ñolofinwë; he knew them both too well to be ignorant that they missed that friendship.

“Thank you,” he said, no longer surprised by the depth of his sincerity. “I treasure my nephews, and I would not dream of depriving you from such a relationship with my own son—nor he from all you can teach him. I can only hope that he can keep up with such clever boys as Maitimo and Makalaurë.”

Fëanáro’s one weakness was his sons, and he beamed. “They shall be the best of friends,” he assured Ñolofinwë. “No matter what.”

“And us, brother?” Ñolofinwë asked after a pause. “Are we to put our differences behind us, for the sake of our children?”

The grin slipped from Fëanáro’s face. “Do not think that because I love you, that requires I like you, Nolofinwë,” he warned. “It will take more than shallow words to garner you my full respect.”

Ñolofinwë bit back a sigh. Of course it would be this way; Fëanáro was too stubborn for his own good, and even if he would put aside their rivalry for the sake of their children, it did not absolve Ñolofinwë from the crime of being Indis’ son.

“I must admit that my hatred for you is as strong as my love,” Ñolofinwë replied, raising an eyebrow. “But I do wish you to know that such feelings are constantly at war within me, and were it not for my impeccable composure, I would—”

He did not get to finish the sentence as Fëanáro groaned and pulled him into an embrace. “I hate you, too,” he hissed into Ñolofinwë’s ear, “much more than I love you, but love you I do, despite my better judgement.”

Ñolofinwë clung to his brother, soaking in this uncharacteristic affection as if it would make up for decades of animosity.

“I love you, too, Fëanáro,” he whispered, and in that moment, he looked to their future together with a hope he had never held before.

~

[if you liked this fic, please reblog & leave me a comment on AO3!! thank you!!]

#silmarillion #oneringnet #feanor #fingolfin #nolofinwe #silm #my writing #my fic #tefain nin #half brother half hatred #anaire #sweetteaanddragons #drag0nst0rm #genfic #gen fic #the working title for this fic was 'bro. i love you bro.' #experimenting w/ posting full fics on tumblr again. it went well last time. let's see how many notes/comments i get! #ataquenta

[retvenkos]

It got deleted! Fire for the Marauders, Sherlock and SW (any era), guy preference, I'm a girl! I usually hate talking about myself and would rarely share but I'm kind and caring to people. Slytherin and proud. Bookworm who also likes movies. Hate chaos above all, I always have some kind of a schedule in my head. I analyze every detail and am a bit shy, I like being alone but don't mind people. Truly inexperienced in the romantic stuff. INTJ. A bit shy but would making jokes and sarcastic comment

Marauder Era:

I ship you with Remus Lupin!

Alright so you and Remus are the responsible friends of the group, actively bringing down the chaos levels (which, without you, would be insufferable). Together, the two of you bring some semblance of order to the Marauders lives, and trust me, it's much appreciated.

I have no doubt that the two of you met thanks to the bumbling idiot that is James Potter - you and James were paired together for a class in your first year, let's say astronomy, and he gets so behind in the class that the teacher has YOU get him back on track - something about a peer influence. Anyway, you march up to Gryffindor tower to find James and maybe,,,, I don't know,,,, get him to do his homework,,,, and he's hanging outside the portrait hole, making jokes with his friends. You try your best to be reasonable, and your just shy enough to not be rude or anything, but James and Sirius were infuriating first years and they didn't listen to you at all.

When you leave, defeated, Remus runs up after you and tells you he'll try to get James to do his Astronomy homework. You say thanks, and two weeks later, James seems to have taken whatever the brown haired boy said to heart, because he's doing his homework consistently. You decide it's high time you thank this guy for his service, and you start to write him a thank you letter (much less embarrassing than a verbal apology - this way you can't stutter over your words or anything) when you realize you don't know his name. Damn. So now you have to thank him in person, and you approach him before potions. You thank him and he's sheepish and humble about it. Then, before you leave, you make sure to ask him for his name - just in case. Remus Lupin. You tell him yours and that's the end of that.

You see him through the halls in your second and third years, and it isn't until your fourth year that the two of you have reason to speak to each other. You have Potions together, and your partners. For a whole two to three weeks the two of you are pleasant to each other but don't really talk much. Neither of you are great at starting conversations, and it isn't until you see James and Peter pull a very obvious prank on a Slytherin, and Remus cover for them that you actually have something to say to him. "You clearly just lied to the professor." "Me?" And you scoff, but all Remus says is "He doesn't know that, though. Will you keep my secret?" "Sure. Consider it part of my thanks for first year." And you don't think Remus would remember but he does.

After that, the two of you end up talking more, and your crush on the quiet, mischievous gryffindor grows. One time, you hear him arguing with Sirius, defending you, specifically, saying that not ALL slytherins are evil - you certainly aren't.

It's by fifth year that your crush is full blown, and when you have dada with the Gryffindors, you get a little sidetracked by Remus, and when a good friend of yours notices, they tease you mercilessly.

Meanwhile, the marauders are teasing Remus, because he too has a crush on you - one that makes him blush terrible and renders him tongue tied when you're nearby

One day you're walking to the quidditch pitch for the game, and your friend is teasing you terribly about your crush on Remus. You're digging your head into your scarf to hopefully hide your blush, when you run right into Remus. Your friend is quick to fall silent, but you're sure it's a little too late for that. He's no doubt heard.

But.... it's not? Or at the very least, Remus doesn't mention it, just apologizes with a bashful blush and keeps going.

Little do you know, Remus definitely heard it, and now Peter and Sirius are exasperated asking him why he didn't say anything when it was the perfect opportunity. He says it wasn't the right time! You were already thoroughly embarrassed. But now that he knows you like him back.... well, it bodes well for his confidence, which needs all the help it can get.

He approaches you one day in the library, days before the end of school. You're sitting at a table in the corner, actually relaxing for once, a favorite novel in front of you, and Remus hesitantly slides in across from you. For a long while, the two of you just read your own books, until you finish a chapter and look up at Remus. You say you have something for him - a letter, since school is ending soon. You start rambling about how you're going on a trip and it would be fun to write to eachother since you both appreciate history and you'll be going to a few museums and Remus smiles gently and says he'd love to write to you.

You smile, and Remus starts to tell you that he has the biggest crush on you, but he can't being himself to do it, so he talks about his summer plans, too.

When he gets back up to gryffindor tower he's kicking himself because he didn't tell you how he feels, but then he remembers your letter, and he decides to open it.

And in the letter, you tell him how you're almost certain that he heard your friends teasing that day before the quidditch match, when you bumped into him, but in case he didn't (or didn't believe it) you wanted to put the record straight - you like him, and you're terrible with words, so putting it in a letter is the best way you know how to tell him and not completely embarrass yourself.

And Remus runs back to the library to tell you that he got your letter and that he likes you - really likes you - back.

And hell yeah you write letters to eachother over the summer it's vvv sweet.

ANYWAY, you and Remus are a perfect match for each other I'm in love with the idea.

Sherlock:

I ship you with John Waston!

Okay, so both of you have such similar temperaments, I can really see the two of you working out.

You're both introverted, sarcastic, incredibly caring, detail oriented, and bookworms. While John isn't as scheduled as you are (how can you be with a friend like Sherlock Holmes?), he definitely sees the importance in routines and likes doing things in more practical and sensible ways.

Both of you are naturally curious, fairly versatile, and very determined, which makes for a good relationship since your traits and values match up.

I think that John would love the steadiness you being to his life - you are predictable and calm, and you're also independent and able to take care of yourself. John had a lot to worry about on the daily, so the fact that you are reliable is good for him. It allows for a lot of peace of mind.

John would be the one to bring you more in touch with your emotional side - he's a very emotional person, and also very mature. He would bring in a lot of interesting elements to the relationship - simultaneously bringing you out of your comfort zone while also validating your limits and respecting them. You would be an interesting couple to watch.

I love the idea of the two of your writing together for his blog - or you acting as a beta reader and helping him come up with names for each case. The two of you like to sneak in witty jokes and one of your favorite pastimes is seeing how many nonsensical things about Sherlock you can include.

Also! I imagine that your rational though process and your attention to detail is helpful in cases, sometimes, since Sherloxk can get so caught up in the moment and disregard certain elements that might have come in handy. Otherwise, you're great at remembering little things to put in the blog, which makes Sherlock smile.

And may I suggest..... watching movies with John Watson. For once, he is glad he doesn't have Sherlock talking in his ear, going on about the inaccuracies or about how ridiculous it all is. BUT, he finds himself telling you some of the things that Sherlock would say, and the two of you talk through the movie, chatting about what tropes you think are washed up, and what dynamics you love to death.

When you read, though, it's a different story and the two of you are quiet. John will make you a tea or coffee and you spend the day on the couch, just reading and enjoying the other's presence.

Star Wars:

I ship you with Commander Cody!

Alright, but we support clones on this blog, and commander Cody is one of the best clones.

First of all, both of you are very similar. Both of you are smart, determined, thoughtful and versatile people who would work well in sync with one another. You're not the most trusting of people, but one your loyalty is earned, it's earned for life and you would lay down your life for the other. You are both strong willed people, and yet you also carry a deep tenderness to you.

Cody absolutely loves how well read you are - he loves to listen to your stories (especially if they have a good, soft ending) and he loves the way you look at books - the little details you remember, the ideas that you hold onto. It's a great escape for him, listening to you talk about the novels you've read or listening to you read aloud. This world goes so fast and there's so much evil that he sees, so to hear something good - something slow that progresses to a happy ending - means the world to him. It's a little bit of softness he allows himself.

He also loves your shyness. He thinks it's cute, how someone so smart and strong - someone who by all means should have a healthy amount of confidence - is quiet and mostly goes under the radar. It's also a nice compliment to his more commanding presence.

You are both just humble enough to have great respect while also being just outgoing enough when you're in the right setting, and it's perfect. There's never confusion between the two of you over why you're more quiet in some places or more extroverted in others. You just understand the other.

You are also just so caring of others - Cody cared for his brothers more than anything in the world, and to find someone just as caring is good for him. He loves with his whole heart, and he's glad you do, too.

Oh, and the two of you together? The most sarcastic - the galaxy was unprepared for your combined energies, and it's been unstable ever since.

I also can't get enough of you together in the field - maybe you're a Jedi or a recruit pilot or something, but the two of you fighting together is peak. You're both smart and practical in your approach to things, and you're also very determined and ambitious - you would always have each others backs and you approach problems in the same way, so you work efficiently as well.

But, then again, the quiet moments the two of you share are pretty sweet - you force Cody into watching movies with you, and he actually gets really into them. He loves sci fi and fantasy, and he probably really likes silent films or foreign films too. Idk why, I just get the vibes.

Oh! And if you ever want a good laugh, ask Cody about the shenanigans that Obi-Wan pulls througho it the day. He gets so exasperated by all the little things that the Jedi pulls, and listening to him rant about them is very funny.

#2.5k celebration! #celebration #lxncelotships #alright but when did these just become me writing scenarios? i'm so sorry when i get an idea i just run with it

[chloasiajones]

This is my next smau. It's a Harry Potter smau. Neville X F.!Reader pairing. There's a bit of Fred X F.!Reader pairing in here. There's also Neville X Fred X F.!Reader. Title:A Muggle's Love Story

Trigger warning: Slight swearing! Mentions of sex! Will be mentions of rape! Slight abuse! If you are sensitive to these things read at your own risk!

Y/n was a muggle brought into the world of magic, at a very young age. She didn't know how to handle it. And with her older sister, her guardian being the only one who could take care of her, it proved to be difficult for her with her sister being the Defense Against The Dark Arts professor, and her having to live in the world of magic. She feels a little left out, seeing as both her sisters, her older and her younger, - her twin - are wizards and she is not. But that all disappears when she meets the one person who helped her realize not everything is about that. And it's not all its cracked up to be. Neville was there for her since she was young and they became the best of friends. However, as they got older they realized their feelings were more for each other than they even orginally thought. But what happens when Neville finally has the courage and another man tries to swoop in and take him from her?

End Special Edition Part 18. . .

Part 19 Coming soon. . .

Adelina's P.O.V.

I walked to the spot I've wanted to forget about for years. The spot I knew he'd be. I knew he was waiting for me. And I knew what he wanted to do. I have Minerva looking after Luna. And I have Fred and Neville protecting Y/n. All he has left is me.

"Adelina, - I was hoping you'd show up," Austin spoke out as he walked out from behind a rock.

"You knew I'd be here," I told him trying to keep my cool.

At least at first.

"Yes, only to get revenge on me for what I did to your precious little sister. I would've done it to her twin to, but I couldn't find her -"

"I'd kill you,"

"Ooo, Im so scared, -"

"You should be,"

"Why didnt you tell me about Luna?"

"I never wanted you know,"

"You didnt think I had a right to know about my own daughter. Something we created together through our love,"

"Love?! Please! You raped me! - I knew thats all you wanted from the beginning and because I wouldn't give it to you, - You decided to take it from me! Well, guess what Austin, I've grown since then! I've grown stronger and I know how to protect myself,"

"Let's try it shall we,"

He shot a blast at me from his wand. I quickly blocked it with my own.

"Very nice - Im intrigued,"

"You're also sick,"

"Come on Lina, lets go back to the way things used to be -"

"I'd never want any part of you ever again. And you're never gonna get anywhere near Luna or Y/n ever again!"

"We'll see,"

He shot another blast at me, I once again blocked it. He kept firing them at me. I kept blocking them. I blasted him with one, in a split second where he was just holding his wand, and it was enough to blast him back several feet, making him fall to the ground. I felt proud of that one. However, it wasnt enough to stop him. He quickly shot a blast at me sending me back, making me land on the ground. I tried to catch my breath from the impact of the blast. Out of my blurry vision I saw Severus come out from behind me, standing in between me and Austin.

"Severus what are you doing here?!" I asked him honestly quite irritated that he followed me.

"Making sure you're alright," Severus told me.

I stood to my feet.

"Dont worry, Im fine, - Now leave Severus!" I commaned of him.

"No! - Not until I know your safe!" He told me.

"Im fine! Will you just -"

"Isnt this just precious? -"

Severus and I both looked at Austin.

"Is Severus Snape finally your boyfriend? - After all these years?"

"I'm not her boyfriend," Severus told Austin quickly.

"Oh what a pity, - She used to talk about you all the time. How much she loved you and wanted you. - She talked about how much she wanted you to ask her to the yule ball, but you never did. When you left her in the dark, I was the only one left. - I was clearly better than you. Seeing as I was one of the chosen contestants for the Tri-Wizard Tournament. I asked her and she went with me. Thats when we started dating. - And since its out in the open, I did only want one thing from her, I might've had to force it on her, but I got it. And from that one moment, she got pregnant. And she never bothered to tell me. - I've come for my daughter Adelina, and Im not leaving until I get her,"

"You'll have to go through me first!" I threatened.

"Not a problem," he stated.

Severus shot several blasts at him from his wand. Though Austin just quickly blocked all of them. In one strong blast from his wand, he threw Severus several feet. I wanted to kill him right here and now. In anger I used the crucio spell on him. It brought him down to the ground. I was satisfied as I looked at him. I moved myself back to Severus to make sure he was okay. My one mistake was turning away from him. Though I was alert to him. I quickly turned, blocking another blast.

"If I can't get to my daughter and your sister, I can take away the one man you've always loved, - It'll hurt you more than anything -"

Just as he held up his wand, to use the killing curse on Severus, I panicked. I quickly held up my wand, speaking out the words quickly, but clearly. I walked over to him cautiously, after he had flown back and landed on the ground near the rock. I looked deep into his eyes as he laid there. Is it finally over? Am I rid of him forever? Severus rushed over to me.

"Adelina, are you -"

Before he could finish his question, I threw my arms around him, holding him around his waist as tightly as I could. Severus said nothing he just held me. My heart raced as I felt him place a soft kiss to the top of my head. Tears raced down my cheeks. Severus just held me.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked me softly.

"I didnt want you to know, - I was ashamed, - And I was trying to keep anyone else from knowing about him, because I knew it would put their life in danger. That's why I didnt tell anyone about Luna. - I knew it would put them in danger. - I was afraid he would come back, and -"

"You don't have to worry about him now - He's gone Lina - And he won't ever come back - Luna is safe now, and she always will be," Severus said to me reassuringly.

I didnt know what else to say. I let myself relax as he held me, placing another soft kiss to the top of my head.

"Was what he said true? - About you having feelings for me?" He asked me not sure if he wanted to know the true answer.

"Yes Severus -"

I leaned back from him, so I could look into his face.

"It's true, - I've had feelings for you ever since I met you. I was just too afraid to tell you. - I didnt know how you'd react and I was afraid you'd reject me," I finally admitted to him through fear that he would actually reject me.

He was quiet for a moment. I was honestly afraid I made the wrong move just now by admitting my feelings to him. He looked straight into my eyes.

"I love you too Adelina,"

Before I could say anything else, Severus trapped me within his lips. I honestly didn't know how to feel, except calm and at peace. I kissed him back without any hesitation. Now that I have him, - I wont let him go. A smile passed Severus as he leaned back and looked at me. I haven't seen him smile in a long time.

"I think maybe we should go disclose to Albus what happened," Severus told me calmly.

I nodded in agreement.

"I'd also like to go see my sister," I told him.

"Of course," he spoke softly.

We walked back to the castle together. Severus kept an arm around me as we walked. All thoughts of everything rushed around in my head. I know Severus is right about telling Albus about Austin, but all I care about right now is Y/n.

Part 19 coming soon. . .

Taglist:

@cece-lives-here

@saur20

#harry potter smau #harry potter #ron weasley #hermione granger #fred weasley #george weasley #neville fluff #neville longbottom fluff #neville x reader #neville imagine #neville fanfic #neville longbottom #neville x you #neville x y/n #neville smau #albus dumbledore

[theodinsonsonmidgard]

Hold me Tight 2 - part 2-

Perhaps, as Thor said, it was true that those transparent waters had the power to cleanse your soul and make you think more clearly. Perhaps this is the power the Gods have given to the salt waters of Midgard. Thor and I enjoyed ourselves as I never remembered before. Perhaps only in our earliest childhood days, I remember a joy so pure in being together.

I swam with him, competing in speed with the white-crusted waves: we are young, we are strong, Sons of Odin, and we looked like the creators of Midgard came down to enjoy the beauties of that paradise. Sometimes I watched him swim, while I stopped to wash out the water dripping on my face from my hair. Thor, my wonderful brother. Thor, whom I feared having lost forever. Thor, please don't leave me behind ...

I wonder if I'm still your brother, at your eyes. Somewhere, in our past, a crack has opened up and is chasing us to swallow both of us once and for all. Even now.

It was my fault, Thor, I opened that crack, ... and I'll close it for both, i promise you. But don't let me go this time.

Then I couldn't think more because a dripping blond giant swept me away with a bear hug, and dragged me off with him, with a laugh, over the waves.

Dinner was roast meat of which my brother was very proud. As the air turned purple and the sun went down, I had already made my decision. No regrets. I felt strong, strangely euphoric. I wanted to hug him but I restrained myself. There would be time, i was sure of it.

The fire crackled placidly. The night air, which became almost pungent, didn't disturb me, on the contrary, it cooled my skin a little, and caressed my thoughts. Even the wind had changed its voice, its smell, ...no longer the scent of freedom, but something deeper, earthy, almost visceral. Perhaps due to the volcanic rocks and ungainly bushes of the hills above us. And he was there, beyond that bonfire ... with flaming reflections to sculpt his face, blonder than ever, an open smile.

Thor Odinson. 

My brother. Who spoke loudly, who told me stories, who laughed, ...and I listened to him, teased him, laughed with him, while another part of me, secretly, was looking for the guts to put into effect what I had decided earlier.

It had been a wonderful day. The first since Thor brought me back. Perhaps one of the rarest of my whole life. And I didn't want to ruin it with what I was going to do, but I decided to be ready. Or anyway I could try. I wanted to start trusting.

Ours had been a wretched and unhappy family, yet, whether I wanted it or not, I loved Thor. Desperately.

I had given my life for him.

Twice. The word 'brother' in my mind has the bright face of Thor. And I had decided to let him enter in a part of my life so private and hurtful that I've been hiding since years. That I know only myself.

I wanted to start trusting him. Showing him that I had changed, that I could stop protecting myself and flee. Although it would have required a lot of courage, since I should have ...

Thor was laughing at me and the fact that I was staring at the fire dance like an idiot. I roused myself, smiling.

'C'mon, you bastard ...'

"Thor, listen ..." I bit my lip, he noticed it this time, and softened his voice.

"Loki, what is it? Do you have migraine? Do you want us to go home?"

I chuckled to hide the tension: would you face the most terrible of storms, knowing you were naked as a worm? Totally defenseless? Because this was what I was going to do from now on ...

"No, I'm great,... no, listen ..."

'Look at him, Loki ...'

"Do you remember when we fought each other, during all those painful and absurd years? You've always accused me of being too quiet. You told me to keeping you at a distance, to rejecting you. Of never making you enter my thoughts, explain my feels... that I was the worse brother, ... no, wait, please. "  I smiled  "Please wait ..."

A deep breath. Burning air, cold and salted, rising up the nose, until it invades my chest.

 "So I decided that I can do it, a step towards you, brother, and try to break down this wall that keeps us in our pride. And that Surtur may devour me if I'm not trembling to the bone, damn you!"

 Silence. Wind and the liquid chant of the sea, black into black.

"Do you remember when ...when I ...I let it go? When I fell down, long time ago, ... when everything was shattered, me for first but nobody cared. Remember when I came back and everything was different, everything changed. Your gang of new pompous friends, Midgard, ... all the rest. I have very confused memories of those days, but I remember well when we met again, between heaven and earth. And we talked, or rather we spit on each one our hatred. I could have told you then, but you had other things on your mind and no intention of listening. Or maybe not, I wouldn't have told you a shit either." I giggled nervously.

I was wearing an half-buttoned old shirt, worn and light, of which I didn't care at all,...dark blue, shiny fabric. I undid the third button.

"I fell into the void, then, ... into nothingness. I wanted... to die, to finally find peace, to appease my pain. Instead I found a worse hell. Perhaps the worstest of all. And I implored death as the sweetest of salvations."

Gods, it's terrible to remember aloud. I can't believe you're next to me, listening all of this. For real.

"He took me. I don't know how he did it, but I found myself crawling at his feet in an alien and terrible world. He was thirsty for power. He had a plan. He wanted everything. He wanted the Gems and crush down the Worlds, and I could be useful to him. But first he had to crush down me."

I undid another shirt's buttonhole.

"I know you never understood much of what's on my mind, Thor, ...but it wasn't your fault. Not always, at least. And this thing ... maybe it was beyond both of us."

I undid the penultimate button.

"There was no more day, no more night. There was only cold, pain and fear. There were many of them. They surrounded me. They laughed at me. Call me names. But his shadow on the moldy marbles was enough to make them disappear, leaving me at his mercy... Did you ever wonder why I hate sudden gestures, or why unexpected noises make me uncomfortable when they don't terrify me? "

Here, the shirt was open.

"Have you ever wondered why I stiffen every time you touch me? ... I was afraid of the whip, but the worst was the fire. The fire was the craziest pain, and ... I lost consciousness. Almost always. That maniac knew how to use the whip well. Where to hit. How to hit. He whispered in my mind, ... no one will ever care about you, little monster, ... nobody wants you, they despise you, spit on your shadow of demon, you're been a burden for everyone, you will always be, but I can give you the power that... if only you... "

I swallowed again. The air started to become cold, too much cold, ...carried with it a vague hint of resin ...

'NO!!'

It has always been like this. Frost magic woke up every time I was upset, or if something infuriated me, and blew ice on everything around me. But it couldn't happen there, ... there, in the sea waves glossy of moonlight, and the holey rocks of the volcanoes.

'Loki, dominate yourself!! Not now, Loki, not here!!'

The blue shirt slid over my shoulders, then I pulled my arms off from sleeves. Here, Thor, ... take a step into my world, ... look at my miserable pain.

"It was ... it was pure hell, Thor. A hell made of blood, pain and fear in which I crawled for I don't know how long. I saw my blood, I felt it on me, it made me sick. Did you ever notice how sickening it is the smell of blood? ... With fire I went crazy. With the blades I saw death in the eyes, and had the purple skin of my killer, that son of a bitch. He wanted me crushed, and he crushed me. He wanted me submitted and I bent. Because I healed. In a hurry. I am a God and he knew it. So the ... horror started again, always. The young Loki, the one who sought death to forget the pain, is gone. He was destroyed by that hell. I ... I don't know what he made me become but I survived by pure animal instinct, I survived the fire, the whip, the blades, the cold and beatings. But I healed more slowly, so he decided I was ready."

I didn't have the guts to look at Thor. I was there, bare-chested, arm in arm with him, and I felt his burning blue eyes on me. It burned like those blades.

Are you pale? Are you speechless? Furious? In tears? I don't want to know now, brother.

"I know what you are seeing. I know them one by one. They heal slowly. Some will never heal. Some intertwine on the shoulders, stretch to the chest. There is also a fire wound, next to it ... the blades instead were biting arms ...here, and here, ..." I barely touched my pale skin "The whip tore the skin from the back. The back is the worst. There are a couple that still hurt,...others no longer exist. Like here, on the eyebrow, or just above the ear..."

Scars. From the shoulders as far as a whip could reach. Or tongues of fire. Or those damn blades.

There was no better way to tell you. Nor a different way. Forgive me, brother...

He had to see them and I had to do it. I realized that if I wanted to recover from all my shit, I had to let go and expose myself.

Running away had only made things worse, it was festering everything.

I need my you to see, Thor. I need to hear your support. I wanted to know that you can be with me, so my recovery will be less painful and I could move on more easily. Will you stand by my side, brother?

So I looked up at him, and saw it.

The raging storm.

Flaming fury in Thor's dark eyes. Ready to lash out at me. I could feel them, those eyes, like a punch in the face. I knew I had hurt him and it devastating me. Now I realized I had broken him and I would have given everything to be able to go back and cancel that insane decision of mine. I wanted to die, and I probably would have died by his hand, because the one in front of me was no longer the chatty, smiling Thor who hugged me and called me "little brother".

He was the God of Thunder in his wildest and most primordial form. Rage and fury. It was pure berserk fury as I had never seen it before.

A terrifying roar shook the night sky and shook the earth beneath the volcanoes with a frightening groan. The air vibrated in my ears with such intensity that forced me to a stifled moan of pain. Then the air was shattered by the furious cry of the God of Thunder, which I had just completely broke with my senseless act. So I was ready to die.

#hold me tight 2 #part 2 #me and my brother #me and thor #odinsons brothers #odinsons on midgard #the odinson on midgard #forgive me brother

[jinxthequeergirl]

Out there (pt.1)

Crowley x reader (Tangled au)

Summary: our story begings with a house, an archangel, a thief and a girl

Warning: none

Ok so I lied I have like two more hours till tomorrow so why not

Also extreamily sorry for lying about doing requests something came up and I'm exhausted

~~~~~~

This is a story about two very different being from two very different world's.

But before we can even begin this story we need to go back.

Back to when the earth was still fairly new. And a beautiful young lady walked through the market. She was no one important. Just a simple young lady who lived in the village. Her name is unknown yet Her role in this story is more important than you would think.

And while in the same market a strong handsome angle walked amongst the people of this new village admiring everything in his way. His name is also unknown.

But though there roles in this story are important. It's not about them.

It's about what came of them. They fell in love in that market. And for many months hid this love from the world. The only issue was that they couldn't do much hiding after the woman have birth to a beautiful little girl.

Now you may think it's a wonderful thing an angel and a human in love and having a child together. And yes it is a wonderful thing but also a forbidden one.

This child born from both human and Angel was known as a Nephilim. And as far as heaven was consented they where a big no no.

The Angel knew this but despite knowing this acted as a proud father and showed his new daughter to the world.

Catching the eyes of a few humans who were power Hungry and a few angels who where appalled that one of their own had created such a being.

Humans came for the child attempting to steal Her for her abilities they knew she would possess. Angels came from heaven to kill the child.

They even created a special dagger to do so. But both parents had done an excellent job of keeping her safe.

Until of course as they slept in the next room there daughter sound asleep in the next room someone lurked from with in.

This was the archangel Gabriel armed with the Nephilim dagger.

But instead he stopped considering the child's ability himself.  He dropped the dagger losing it for centuries now.

He stole the baby with ease and hid her from both humans and angels.

Though this may sound like it was in her best interest. It wasn't.

Gabriel taught her how to use Her ability to heal at an early age. And yes he was an angel and needed no sort of healing he found that when she used her abilities on him they made him stronger.

He became greedy and built a sturdy home far from anyone on earth to keep her  hidden.

Angels lost sight of the child after the home was put together and humans Now were unaware of her.

It is also important to know that this child was you.

And you are where our story really begins.

You hosted yourself up on some overgrown vines that grew on the stone wall's surrounded your house. Your house was two stories tall yet the wall that surrounded it almost doubled it's night.

"Shit!" our foot slipped on one of the stones but you continued to climb.

You finally reached the top and pulled yourself up smiling Out at the forest.

You cupped your hands around your mouth and let out a joyous scream.

For the amount of times you had climbed up this wall to look out into the forest while Gabriel was away it never got old.

"Y/n!!?"

You turned around to face the house. "Y/n! Where are you my Angel?"

As soon as you reached the top you were forced to come back down. You grabbed hold of one of the vines and slid down it running inside to meet your father. "Hi dad!" he grinned when he saw you and opened his arms and you quickly ran into them to hug him.

"Where were you?"

"Oh you know just out in the garden…"

He smiled and pulled away from the hug and wondered to the sitting room.

You took a deep breath and smiled. "Well anyways uh dad there's something I need to -"

"Ugh you wouldn't believe what I had to go through today!" you stopped and took a seat in your chair ready to listen to him rant about some Angel who stopped Armageddon and failed to burn when he punished him.

"Wow I'm sorry to hear that but dad it's really important-"

"Y/n dear I'm feeling a little drab would you mind recharging me? I promise as soon as your done I'm all ears."

"Sure!"  You quickly scooted closer and took, his hands and started humming to help you focus on what you wanted to heal. Slowly a bright yellow glow appeared from your palms, it slowly moved up his arms through his veins.

He sighed feeling much more rejuvenated and smiled at you as you folded your hands in your lap. "Thank you sweetie. Now what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Well I'm sure you know what's coming up!"

"I'm very much aware yes."

"Well I was kinda sorta hoping...and I don't see why you would say no…"

"Y/n the mumbling what is it with humans and the mumbling? It's not hard to not do it just speak clearly."

"Right sorry well I was hoping that maybe You could take me out? We could go shopping and get lunch?..."

He furrowed his brows at you and stood up. "You want to go out there? Absolutely not."

You looked at him in shock. "Please! I know if you are there with me I'll be just fine!" Gabriel rolled his eyes and began to walk away. "Dad please you have to understand! I can't keep living my life through books! I need to experience it myself!"

"Y/n you know why your here!"

You stood up and followed behind him.  "Yes but-"

"You wouldn't last a day out there! Listen to your father it's a...a scary world out there!"

"Well maybe-"

"One way or another something will go wrong I swear! So you will stay here with me!"

You continued to follow him through the house attempting to reason with him.

"Please! Just one day! That all-"

"ENOUGH WITH LEAVING ALREADY I SAID NO!" Your breath got caught in your throat as he turned and snapped at you. "Great...now I'm the bad guy…"

You gulped and looked down. "No don't say that...your just trying to keep me safe."

Gabriel sighed and made his way too you and lifting your face to look at him.

"You know I love you."

You chuckled lightly and hugged him. "I love you more."

"I love you most." he kissed the top of your head and pulled away. "I have a but more work to do but I'll be home shortly.be good."

"Always." you smiled and said your goodbyes before he left you alone. You walked up to your room sitting in the bay window seat looking out at the wall.

Meanwhile a demon was on the run from two other demons. The one running is our second half of this story. His name, is Crowley and he's currently running from the other two demons who are called Hastur and Ligur two dukes of hell.  He's running because he has stolen something very valuable to hell.

And he's stolen it because a book told him so. A book his dear friend Aziraphale (an angel) owned told him too.

He dumped the Bentley just outside of Soho hoping to throw them off his trail. He however was in certain how he managed to be running through a forest past tadfield.

He glanced behind him checking that they weren't there and without realizing ran head first into a stone wall.  "What the heaven!?" He sat up looking at it.

"Crowley!? You can't fool us that easily!"

His eyes widened at the voice from with in the woods. He snapped his fingers and a door appeared allowing him to step through.

As soon as he was sure the door was gone He turned to face the house. He sighed and quickly stepped inside. "Hallo?...anyone home?"

He stepped further into the house looking around. He sighed again when no one answered. He started pulling his phone out to call aziraphale but something hit him in the back of the head knocking him out.

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Tagging:

@writer-of-camelot

@gothglamonenightstand

@steampowerednightvaler

@thatcutewerewolf

@dadzawas-eyebags

#crowley x reader #good omens x reader

[pennys-th0ughts]

Robert Gray. The Origin of Pennywise 🤡 Chapter 2

Augustine was sitting on the stairs in the porch. She was, as usual, reading one of her favorite books totally submerged in it. I was looking at her and cherishing every single one of her features that often reminded me to my wife. From her she got her beautiful eyes and the freckles on her cheeks and nose and from me she got the color of my hair and a proud nose. Her long curled copper hair resembled a furious river and its stream made of fire running a smooth hill down.

My daughter was a lovely fifteen years old young woman now and the springtime of her womanhood has already knocked at her door. Raising a little girl for a single father isn’t always that easy, even more when you don’t have an instructions book of how to play both figures for her. There were times I got to feel uncomfortable explaining things that a mother should, but in time we made it and Augustine did her best to understand me.

– ¿Are you thinking about mom, dad? – She suddenly asked me and made me snap out of my thoughts.

I remained in silence for some minutes trying to picture Charlotte’s face in my mind. After ten years without her and my memory loss stepping forward every day, which was diagnosed a couple years ago, made me fear that someday her face would start being something unknown to me but the pictures I kept on my night table and in almost all around the house were preventing me to forget the woman I loved the most.

– I think about her every single day, sweetheart – I answered my daughter with a little smile, trying really hard to contain my tears.

I couldn’t show her my weak side if I wanted her to be strong, but the feeling was devastating sometimes. To help me cope I used to read the diary she had left me before she passed, her poetry and quotes had so much heart that you could feel each word caressing your soul. To me they were like some kind of balm she made only for me and to cure my torn up spirit. The few years spent together we have realized that we had become in some kind of inspiration to each other.

To me she was the muse that helped me create the most benevolent medicines and for her I turned to be the architect that built the most beautiful dream she would keep living through once she was gone. And I was looking at this dream straight to her eyes and telling her how much I missed her mother without mentioning how badly I needed her.

– She never left – Augustine finally said closing her book and putting it to a side-. She is still here with us.

The truth in her words got me thinking for a moment and, despite her young age, once more my daughter was right. Her wisdom was so pure and unpredictable that many times left me without words, only thoughts. I kept thinking the loss of her mother made her grow faster than I would have wanted; she was so little when Charlotte passed away than I could bet she barely remember her.

Augustine sat down on my lap and I hugged her really tight. My little girl will soon leave the house and also a big emptiness in my heart, but I knew that was the right thing to do. She had a promising future outside Derry and I wouldn’t dare to force her to stay, Charlotte would surely kill me if she could.

Finally the day I feared the most to come came and I suddenly saw myself with my eyes watering because of the tears I couldn’t hold. I helped my daughter to place her luggage inside the carriage one foggy October night and after we said goodbye she finally departed to her new destination. I saw her put distance between us and the more distant she got the more I started missing her. House would feel so empty and the days would become longer. A new lonely phase was about to begin and I wasn’t ready for it.

Fire spread fast and by the time firefighters came to help the flames had already wiped out most of the things. Liquid medicines became into steam and all the solid ones and ingredients were now ashes. Drugstore burned to the ground until everything turned out into dust. I fell on my knees and watched powerless how the little smolders were slowly dying leaving only charcoals on their spot. I clenched my fists so hard that my nails pierced my skin and bloody marks popped up.

After the incident I had to let Charlotte’s brother go; rebuild the store from a scratch was going to take a lot of time and money I didn’t have. I was officially broken. Losing my job at the store was the last low blow I wasn’t expecting and after not seeing another way out of my bad financial situation I decided, with a heavy heart, to sell the house and move in to a smaller place a bit away from the main square.

Depression didn’t take long to look through my window one cold winter day. Soon I would start to loose notion of time and the will of going out and face people would become smaller each day. Paranoia came after and some days were blurry, alcohol would make them a little bit clearer but the outcome afterwards was always worse.

Augustine got a letter sometime after the tragedy, in it I told her what happened and where I was living now. She wrote me back and her letter arrived a couple days later saying that the conservatory wouldn’t allow her to leave until upcoming summer vacations. Long months were lying ahead like some kind of carpet made of shattered glass, I was in one end and Augustine was in the other, getting to her would definitely be something very painful.

Hot waves of air announced summer as usual. I was sitting on one of the benches at the train station waiting with my eyes lost in the far landscape loaded with orange, red and coffee tones. I was sitting there alone and waited for more than one hour Augustine’s train to arrive, something that never happened. I looked down and my eyes fell on the dusty floor as my spirit did. Bitterness of disappointment began flooding my mouth as if I just had a long sip of choler. When I finally gave up to the hope of seeing my daughter again someone came up out of the blue catching me unguarded. She sat down next to me and sighed. Her perfume started tearing floral notes of rose, violets and lavender of the air and some citric shades of tangerine and lime.

– If you don’t mind me saying, – she finally spoke- it seems you have been waiting long enough.

I abruptly turned my head to look at her unsuccessfully hiding the surprise plastered all over my face. She chuckled at my sudden reaction with a shy smile that she politely covered with her hand. The paleness of her skin reminded me the bright side of the moon, her light brown eyes looked like two pieces of gold and her hair was stunningly white.

– I'm afraid you are quite correct – I replied slightly smiling back-. ¿Are you waiting for the next train, miss?

– Actually no – she extended her hand to shake mine-. I just came down from the one that just left.

We shook hands and she introduced herself as Carou Sehl, I did the same and told her I used to be the apothecary of the town until not long ago a fire burned the whole place down. We shared some trivial details of our current occupations and some other irrelevant events of our lives. It was about to be eight o'clock and I was starting to feel a little hungry.

– ¿Would you like to have a cup of coffee? – I asked her with my voice fully loaded with hesitation, fearing to be rejected because of the late hour.

She seemed not to be worried about the time so she accepted my invitation, I helped her get up and we headed to the most comfortable cafeteria downtown. On our way there we didn’t speak much, we limited ourselves to watch the store windows and the things there exhibited. In a moment the girl froze on the spot making me stop immediately since she was still grabbing my arm.

I didn’t need to ask what was going on when I saw her admiring a beautiful dress a manikin was wearing. The price in the tag was certainly high but the fabric and the design of the piece was undoubtedly amazing that reminded me the kind of dress only the princesses in fairy tales would wear.

The environment inside the cafeteria was surprisingly nice at this hour, there weren’t too much people and that made it really quiet, special to have a long and relaxed talk. Carou sat down in front me and left her belongings next to her, I did the same with my hat and coat. The waitress greeted us politely leaving the menu on the table which we both laid hands on it at the same time. Such a clumsy coincidence made the girl laugh shyly and ripped a smile of my lips, maybe the most sincere one since a long time.

We spent the next two and half hours talking about the intriguing life inside a circus, Carou worked there for many years since she was ten years old until they parents had to retire because of their advanced ages. She carefully explained that once the acrobats reach their fifties they must stop working because the muscles begin getting hard and the joints doesn’t respond as they should putting their lives in danger of falling. Carou kept on going with the family’s inheritance until time decided when to show her the finishing flag.

I remained looking at her in silence, listening every single word coming out from her pink lips carefully. She spoke with so devotion that was inevitable not to feel the same fire inside your chest.

– It seems you love what to do – I finally said sighing-. ¿Have you ever imagined yourself doing something else?

– Not really, no – she answered my question while playing with the napkin-. I think my life was meant to be spent in a circus and I'm okay with that…

– ¿But…?

– But I would have loved to travel around the world, with the circus or not, it would have been a quite unforgettable experience.

Carou clearly seemed to be the kind of woman that loved adventure but hadn’t the chance to get out and see the world by her own. Her parents anchored her to a life that had limited choices and she accepted it without hesitation given it was her only way out to a complicated situation.

– It would have, indeed –I reaffirmed her point of view.

I paid the coffees and we left. Before going separate ways, she invited me to go and watch one of her numbers at the circus which I gladly accepted. That night a warm breeze was blowing, gently shaking the branches of the trees and their leaves. The wind didn’t give time to put my hat on in time and disheveled a few locks of my hair; Carou took one of them and put it behind my ear and said:

– Your hair looks like winter fire…

I froze on the spot for a split of a second not knowing how or what to feel but I immediately put myself together and reacted just in time to say goodbye and kiss her hand. That night I would return home with a strange but nice feeling inside my chest, something I thought it was long time gone.

To be continued…

Image: Andy White (@deviantart )

#pennys thoughts #pennywise #short story