#I've mostly kept my mouth shut but it just bothers me so much when I see people tag “radio silence” for one-sided radiostatic | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blarshwritezz · 21 days

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Hey, could you write me a Yandere JUICY gay enemies to loves story? Male yandere enemy x male reader. For example, yandere is such a tsundere when it comes to his love for the reader and his way of showing his love comes out as insults, bullying, etc. and the reader just so hates Yandere but is unaware how much his mean insults, that sometimes come out as hella flirty and gay, turn on the Yandere or how they get incredibly flustered when reader corners them. Just make it hella obviously gay and perhaps with a one-sided sexual tension from the yanderes perceptive if you write NSFW that is, thanks! (You can ignore this request if you want, it's okay :))

Heck yeah I can! But be warned, I've never written nsfw, so it may be bad- but I'll try just for you, anon!

Yandere Enemy x Reader

M yan x M reader (slight context: y'all in college)

TW - general yandere behavior, NSFW, noncon, slight degration

Another day, another fight between you and Enemy!Yan. The people around you had pretty much become totally numb to your constant bickering.

But to be fair, they wouldn't have to put up with this if he wasn't such a massive prick. You never even did anything! He was the one who kept taunting you.

He shouldn't do that. Nearly every time you retaliate, he ends up fumbling to speak. He's such an idiot, can't take what he dishes out. Absolutely pathetic...

And so here you were. Today's little fight had you pinning him against a wall, trying to keep your voice relatively calm. You caught him taking pictures of you in the damn hall! He was definitely planning to do something with those.

"Don't act so special, I would never ruin my phone with pictures of you!" Lies. He was covering up for the fact that he absolutely was taking pictures of you.

But how could he not? It was your fault you were sexy! You were just infuriating to him. What gave you the right to make him so fucking turned on all the time?!

"Shut up before I make you. Delete those damn pictures." You pressed your body up against him further. You were so close that every breath he took filled his lungs with your scent. You really expected him to not get hard?

Please make him shut up. Please gag him with your cock. Please.

"I don't have pictures of your atrocious face. How thick is your damn skull?" Of course he didn't have pics of your face! Mostly- not from last night at least. He was more focused on your ass other things.

You grabbed his jaw, making him use every fiber of his being to not moan. You gave him a warning, making sure he knew bad things awaited him if you saw some dumbass pictures of you around campus. Oh to know what punishment you would give him...

"You want them gone so damn bad? Delete them yourself!" He wormed his way out from between you and the wall, running off with his phone held above his head.

And of course, you chased after him.

He ran, all the way to his dorm. He threw his phone on his bed, and of course, you went after it. That gave him the perfect chance to lock the door.

You found his phone already unlocked, and when you opened it...

"How do you have all these pictures of m-" He clamped his hand over your mouth before you could finish asking about the photos seemingly taken when you swore you were completely alone in your dorm.

"You're such a fucking tease, you know that?" His other hand slowly slid down your torso, working its way back up from under your shirt. "Always threatening me in ways you know will get me all hot and bothered, then not helping me out. How can you be so mean?"

He pushed you down further on the bed, starting to slowly grind against your thigh. His hand that was under your shirt, gliding over your chest, lowered further and further. All the way to your cock, grasping it through your pants.

You bit his hand as hard as you could, hoping it might help, but the action only elicited a pleasures whimper from him.

"Keep doing that, and make sure to lick it too. You'll need it for what I'm planning."

You squirmed as he lowered your pants and underwear in one swift motion, letting your cock spring free. Embarrassingly enough, you were already hard from all this.

"It's even better up close..."

He could help but give you a hand job. Slow and steady, savoring every second of this. He ran his fingers across each and every vein, keeping his thumb over your tip to stop you from cumming too soon.

Every now and then he'd surprise you; tightening his grip, increasing his speed, stopping for a brief moment just to get right back at it. He was turning you into a whimpering, pathetic mess.

"Fuck, you're so pathetic..." He let go of your mouth in order to hold your thighs apart slightly.

He moved his head between them, taking a nice long lick up your shaft before engulfing you with his mouth. He bobbed his head up and down, swirling his tongue around your tip and making you moan.

"Sto- ngh!~ Fuck..."

He chuckled at your attempt to tell him to stop, the sound vibrating around your dick.

You couldn't take it anymore. You grabbed his hair tightly, forcing yourself all the way down his throat as you came.

He eagerly swallowed your load, choking on it before releasing you from his mouth with a wet pop.

"Fuck, you taste damn good..." He groaned, wiping a few drops of your cum from his chin.

He mixed it with his own spit in his hand, using it to lube up his aching member before flipping you on your stomach and thrusting into you suddenly.

He could've cum right then and there just from feeling your tight asshole squeezing around him, but he held back. Well, not enough to keep himself from pounding into you, regardless of how ready you were or how much you wanted it.

His pace was brutal, every thrust seeming harder and harder. The only way he was able to keep (somewhat) silent was by trailing hickeys down your neck and shoulders, holding your head up by your hair.

"Such a good boy...you my bitch now?" Through grunts and moans he whispered in your ear. "This is what you get for being a damn tease. Fuck...yeah, you're my fucking bitch now. My little bitch boy..."

He started jerking you off again as he rearranged your guts, driving you closer to another climax.

"Now be a good whore and cum for me."

Yet again, as if your body just naturally wanted to do what he said, you bust a nut. And with a few more deep thrusts, so did he, painting your insides white.

He didn't pull out of you for a good few minutes, just laying there and holding you, until finally he whispered: "You didn't think I was done, did you?~"

I think this is the longest one I've done so far! I hope it was satisfactory!

#x reader #yandere x reader #yandere #blarsh writes #male x reader #male yandere #yandere x male reader #yandere x male darling #x male reader #male reader #yandere enemy #enemy yandere #yandere x you #yandere x darling

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bumblebeescribbles · 2 months

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Juniper Wall Day 2 Part 1 ☀️🌸 Spring 4 🌸☀️ Word count: 3.032

Previous part ❀ Next part

The next day, Elari awoke, bleary and sore. Their mouth felt full of cotton, and their eyes were crusted in the corner. It hurt to focus.

When a door slammed shut, they startled, clambering to their feet. The old house creaked as she walked about, a little nervous at the sudden realization of not having a host nearby.

On the table sat a letter. Anise's handwriting was scratchy, and some letters were not fully closed.

I'll be asleep until the evening, but I'd love to hang out with you when I get up! (:

A small plate of muffins made Elari's stomach growl, and she all but swallowed a couple before wiping her mouth off with the back of her hand. There was only so much she could stare at before she felt that awkward gnawing after standing in a house she didn't know with a person she just met yesterday asleep.

She supposed Botan had already headed out. Which made the biting feeling worse as they winced. With both siblings out, there wasn't really anyone she knew. With a huff, she forced down that thought.

Outside, she was met with a better viewpoint of the town. Mostly log houses, they all circled the center of town, where a large fountain sat. A bronze statue depicting a tall elven woman stood as its figurehead, hand on the scabbard of her sword, staring off into the wilderness that surrounded Juniper Wall. A couple of villagers were milling about outside, chatting with each other and laughing.

Elari peered closer to the fountain, spotting an old plaque. Before she could pick out what it read, something landed on her head. Something heavy.

"Pixie, get down, don't bother this poor person!" With a coo, the weight disappeared, and Elari turned around to see a green-scaled naga slithering closer. The edges of her scales were tinged gray, and there were heavy lines around her mouth and eyes. Bright orange eyes fell on Elari, the smile lines appearing.

"My apologies, dear. Pixie loves meeting new folks, don't you, my sweet girl?" She scratched the chin of one of the fluffiest brown and white spotted pigeons Elari had ever seen.

Elari rubbed the back of her neck. "It's alright, she didn't hurt me. I've uh...never seen a pigeon that looked like her before."

The naga laughed, tipping her head back and almost sending Pixie tumbling to the ground. "She's a different kind of gal, aren'tcha? A beauty, huh?"

Elari kept their mouth closed; they wouldn't call that fluffy thing beautiful, but that definitely seemed like one of those things you just didn't say. "I got her when I was traveling around. Hasn't left my side since then." A wistful look softened her face before she snapped back to Elari. "But I'm sure you didn't come here to listen to me rambling away; I don't think I've seen you around here." A casual interest crossed her expression, as she leaned in closer, and the light purple cloak she wore rustled. "Ashni.”

"Elari. I'm Elari."

Elari caught the spark of interest that lit up her eyes. "Is that so... You wouldn't happen to be Dura's child, would you?" Ashni asked.

"I got a letter from her,” she said, “asking if I could come down to visit her.” The words died on their tongue.

Ashni sighed, placing a hand on her cheek. "My apologies that your reason to visit Juniper Wall wasn't a more positive one. Dura was a good soul." Again, that wistful look.

Hope made Elari glance up. "Did you know her that well?"

Ashni seemed to wrestle with something, her eyebrows contorting. "In a way, yes," she replied. "Dura and I were close, although the time we spent together wasn't long."

"Then, do you know why she—what I mean is, why was Juniper Wall her choice?" It came out of their mouth in a rush, desperate to finally get some answers. "She just left without saying anything. I didn't really hear from her a lot." With a sudden flush of embarrassment, they bit down the rest of their words. Were they really just unloading everything on this random stranger? A couple villagers had stopped to listen to the conversation that grew louder and louder. Elari ducked her head, wishing she had her cloak to pull the hood up.

But Ashni just smiled at them, with gentle and soft eyes that made Elari's throat tighten. "How about this. I don't want to make this a public thing,” the naga said slowly, “but I also don't want to avoid your questions. I have to go do some chores around my coffee shop, why don't you come with me, and I'll answer some of your questions?”

At Elari’s pinched expression, she added, “It's closed right now, so you won't need to worry about everyone gossiping." They're good folk, but you know how the rumor mill can start. Seem fair?" Pixie cooed, copying Ashni’s head tilt.

Elari hesitated. It was one thing to agree to meet up with a random stranger and potentially room with them (they had this whole process in mind right before the storm happened, steps they could take in case Anise turned out to be someone they couldn't trust), it was another to go into a shop with a stranger and help them with a store closed. But they still had their dagger in their pocket, and worst came to worst, they felt the warmth of their magic curling at their fingertips.

Ashni tried to continue the conversation as they traipsed back to her shop, but Elari struggled to pay attention and give more than one-word answers. Her head was on a constant swivel, as she soaked in Juniper Wall.

What she first thought of the place turned out to be incorrect. Creeping vines sun themselves as they cling to the houses, and with old and creaking porches with all shades of the rainbow, Elari felt a little pang in the back of her throat; they all looked well-worn. She assumed that neighbors would come by with trays of food when you were sick, saying that they accidentally made extra food, but everyone would know that it hadn't been an accident.

In the city, there wasn't really a chance to meet your neighbors; especially being so close to the Adventurers' Guild, there was such a constant stream of people coming and going, you learned to not get too close to folks, since they'd probably be gone the next day. Folks were awfully bad at keeping in touch.

"Here we are," Ashni said, opening the door. A sign proclaimed See is for Coffee, with the name forming from the steam of a purple coffee cup below it. A singular and bright orange eye embossed on the purple cup seemed to follow them as they entered. Something about the name sparked a thought in Elari’s mind, but it disappeared before she could grab ahold of it.

It was a small place. Wooden circular tables and chairs with mismatched pillows dominated most of the space. A small counter sat next to an even smaller display case. The handwritten signs of what pastries they had toppled over and the trays were still crumb-flecked.

As soon as Ashni followed Elari's eyes to the trays, the grin disappeared. "I told him to-" She messaged her forehead, squeezing her eyes, before the glower vanished as she clapped her hands. "Alright, so after I clean the trays, we can chat."

"I can help," Elari offered, tying her hair up, "I work at the tavern; I'm used to this kind of stuff."

Even though she got the feeling that the folks here just did stuff for each other for the sake of it, Ashni lit up, beaming down at her. "I won't say no to that. Pixie, go relax." She pointed to a rather beaten wooden box in the corner with a small hole in it.

"An utter nuisance," Ashni commented with affection once the pigeon had settled, before leading Elari into the kitchen with the trays. The kitchen had low-hanging cupboards, easy for Ashni to reach, with a potted ivy curling happily around the top of the cupboards.

As Elari helped her wash the trays, she hesitated. All that excitement from learning someone who knew her mother now lay curdled in her mouth.

Thankfully, Ashni seemed to pick up on her tumultuous thoughts and began, "So. Your mother." It felt like she was back in school, watching an old professor start a lecture they were particularly excited about.

They turned to look at her expectantly, nodding. "How did you know her?"

"How much do you know about your mother's adventures?"

Elari shrugged. "Not much," she said, staring off into space, "My dad always stopped her before she could finish any of her stories." Ashni snorted but merely gestured for her to continue. It felt like Elari was missing out on a joke. "Mom didn't want to give out too much information about her other companions." They paused. "Something about pissing off a lich and wanting to protect their identities when the party disbanded."

A thought occurred to her, and she glanced at Ashni, her eyes narrowing. "I do remember her mentioning a seer they needed to rescue-"

"To find Azdok, yes." Ashni stared at the tray she was drying, her mouth pinching. "I didn't know that I was sending them there—" She shook her head, hissing. "That's beside the point."

Turning to Elari, she forced a chuckle. "But yes, I am that seer that helped them find the same lich."

For a couple moments, Elari stared at her. This was the all-powerful seer her mother gushed about? There was a mythological being in her head that she had conjured from listening to all the stories; how this seer could wield magic that sang in the air as she snipped and resewed time and reality back together, how everyone from across the entire land came to see her with problems that seemingly no one could decipher.

"How'd you get to Juniper Wall?"

Ashni's eyes widened, but before Elari could take her words back, the naga let out a howl of a laugh, her tail curling. "Out of all the questions, that's the one you're curious about?" Her tongue flicked out, eyes squinting.

Flushing, Elari handed the tray to her roughly. "My mom couldn't stop talking about you. Why're you here?" They gestured at the shop, eyebrows furrowing. "You can reshape time and space, and you're at a coffee shop?"

"Is that so bad?" Her pitying look hurt more than if she had yelled. “I’m happy here.” She stared out through the serving hatch, her eyes unfocused. “I think it was the same for Dura.”

Ashni rubbed the back of her neck, hissing again and snapping her eyes at Elari. "Your mother, after she came back from the mission, disappeared. I hadn’t heard anything from her for a long time. And then, out of the blue, I get a letter from her.” Her smile was so soft that it made Elari glance down, embarrassed to have even had the audacity to look.

“She said that she needed to talk to someone who was with everyone.” Her expression soured, and she gripped the tray. “I don’t think she ever got over losing Duster, let alone when—” She froze. Face contorting, she grabbed her neck. Gurgling noises escaped her mouth.

As Elari dropped the tray, shattering it, wings beat through the air, and Pixie shoved her way through the door. The pigeon grunted low in her throat, settling near Ashni while she gasped. Elari lunged at the naga, her eyes burning sun-hot as she called upon her magic. A wisp of invisible to the normal eye, black smoke curled from Ashni's mouth to her lungs, where it squeezed. "Ashni?"

The naga waved her away, bending over to cough, as she heaved for air. "It's fine, I'm fine," she wheezed, her expression still pinched. Elari hovered around her, the magic disappearing.

When she recovered, Ashni stood straighter, eyes narrowed, hissing with every deep breath. She let Pixie settle on her shoulder, the pigeon nibbling at her neck, still grunting. She took the cup of water Elari offered her with a quiet 'thank-you'.

"I'm alright," she began, voice scratchy, "just a side effect; your mother was serious about keeping her party members' names a secret."

Elari sat on a stool, gripping the edges with her fingers. "The fight against Azdok was that serious, huh?" Names were important to anyone, but to a lich who had lost theirs in their rebirth, it was disgusting to let someone who still clung to their name let live after they had the audacity to invade a lich’s lair.

Ashni stared at the cup, tracing the rim with her finger. In the afternoon sun, she looked much older, the rays tracing every ridge and valley on her lined face. Finally, she met Elari's eyes. "Yes." After a beat, she added, "I think that's why she decided to stay here. She wasn't able to"—she paused, choosing her words carefully—"keep in touch with any of the others. The other two vanished. But she found me."

With a shake of their head, Elari hugged themself. "Look, I don't want to diminish your relationship—" She ground her teeth, squeezing herself harder. Why was it hard to say anything? "My mom loved the adventure, before she headed off to go take down Azdok, she would always have this starry look in her eyes when she told me all her adventures. She wouldn't just settle down here." Elari gestured nebulously outside the window.

"What's so bad about here?"

"Well, it's y'know..." Trying to avoid looking at Ashni's cocked eyebrow, Elari finished, "Quiet."

A simple "hm" came from the naga. After what felt like a century, she set the cup down and went about cleaning up the broken tray from the ground. It was like Elari had failed a test. She stayed silent while she helped Ashni clean.

“I don’t want to force you to do something you don’t want to,” Ashni began after they cleaned up the shattered pieces.

“I’m sensing a but.”

“But, I want you to give this place a chance.” She turned to face Elari, gesturing around out the window as she said, “There was something about Juniper Wall your mother enjoyed. In part, because she may well have been lonely and wanted someone who knew what she went through.”

She slithered closer and placed a hand on Elari’s shoulder. Standing at her full height, they had to raise their head to look Ashni in the eyes. “I’m tasked with beautifying the town’s community garden. I’d be more than happy to show you around, point out your mother’s favorite spots. If you help me.”

Elari kept quiet, tipping her head to the side. The idea of sitting around until Anise woke up just twiddling their thumbs sounded exhausting. At least she’d be able to do something. Hells to it. There wasn’t anything they could do about it, might as well accept.

Ashni’s face lit up, her crow’s feet crinkling. “Wonderful,” she cried, startling Pixie when she clapped her hands, “I think we can start right now.”

“Wait, like, right now, right now?”

Shaking a finger at Elari, Ashni said, “Well, we haven’t got all day. Besides, you’re here. Might as well get it started. Why don’t you follow me; I won’t be opening up the shop today, it’s Laundry Day.”

Without wanting to open a potential can of worms as to why it sounded like it was capitalized (do all small villages have these weird holidays?), Elari trailed after the naga. The weird invisible smoke didn’t seem to have left any physical marks, but Ashni winced every now and then as she called out greeting after greeting when they stepped outside. Other than curious looks, none of the townsfolk stopped to chat with Elari.

Ashni stretched her arms out, once she came to a stop. “Here we are. This is where everyone grows everything and anything; we all have our plots of land.” She fondly patted the worn and warm russet brown fence surrounding the garden. “I’m in charge of making sure the spots outside of the garden look good too.”

After a beat: “Do you know anything about gardening?”

Elari waggled her hand up and down with a bit of a grimace. “Honestly, my dad’s more of the green thumb in our family. I get by fine.”

Out of seemingly nowhere, Ashni pulled out and handed them a couple seed packets. “It took me a while, but I was able to find these. What a coincidence that you decided to show up the day after I got them.”

Almost numbly, Elari glanced up at the older woman. “These are my mom’s.” Written in a familiar cursive scrawl that was so used to cramming a paragraph of information in a postscript were simple labels of “hyacinths” and "peonies.”.

“She was fond of the community garden,” Ashni replied, her tone sad. “This month was hers to be the caretaker.”

Her throat thick with sudden emotion, Elari rubbed the back of her hand against her mouth. To just do something. “I’m not good with these kinds of plants.” They quickly continued after seeing the naga’s face fall, “But I’ll try my best.”

And although Ashni swore up and down that there was no pressure to make the best garden anyone had seen, a tautness grew in Elari’s chest. It was one thing to listen to stories of her mother living in Juniper Wall, another to hold onto something her mother looked forward to using in the future, something she never got to see.

Elari rubbed the edges of the seed packages between her fingers, before turning to Ashni. “Do you have a shovel?”

The sun scorched Elari’s bare arms as they dug, their sweat slicking their grasp. Confusion and sadness clawed at her throat, unaware as she was of whether her eyes stung from sweat or tears. But it was good to move, it felt right to dig, to work.

Even if Ashni had to stop them from digging too much.

Notes:

Weather: Sunny

Do your Best!! (asking about why her mom decided to stay in the village) - Strong hit

Make a promise (Grow the flowers around the community garden) - 4 boxes

Do your Best!! (tending to the flowers) - Weak hit

#iron valley #juniper wall #solo ttrpg #indie ttrpg #solo journaling rpg #writblr #actual play

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xanthiccircuitry · 1 year

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From the Emotionally Intense Prompts post, here's

"How bad is it this time?"

Fandom Megaman X -> Megaman Zero; Pairing: ZeroX; Words: 2,339; Status: Complete; Happy ending tag

Summary: X wakes up, which is confusing considering he was dead. It would take time and considerable resources to resurrect him, something that he didn't think anyone would have when he died. There could really only be one reason for that.

Story under the cut!

Light flooded in, a flash of a booting screen, a quick runthrough of primary objectives, and then the view of a lab ceiling snapped into place.

X blinked– blinked.

He lifted his hands and stared for a moment. His original hands– or a replica of them. He shut his eyes again, he was awake, alive, and in a body that appeared like the one he lost. There really could only be one reason for that.

"How bad is it this time?" He spoke aloud, his voice was smooth, this was a brand-new vocalizer.

"Oh, well…good morning, X." The person sounded surprised that he wasn't more confused or asking different questions and he sat up and had a look at who'd rebuilt him.

"Good morning." He stood up out of his pod and couldn't help but take a moment to stretch. Ugh, it felt great to be in his original body. There was so much room. Before the "new" new generation of reploids after the Cyber Elf War, he wouldn't have considered himself a big reploid, but he definitely was in comparison. He settled and flicked his eyes over the person standing by a holoscreen.

While small, they seemed almost "normal", which was a bit of a shock. How long had it been? Better yet, why would they look as they had before rather than continuing along the path of refinement? He guessed they were still smaller than him, but not nearly so much.

"So? What's wrong? Why did you rebuild me?" He asked, firm and serious, he'd satisfy his curiosity later, right now he needed to focus on whatever was bad enough that someone had taken the time and considerable effort to rebuild him.

They flushed.

"Oh, um, uh…" They nervously looked down, turning a darker, hotter red, "I'm sorry– I thought you'd be less intense than Zero but you think there's something wrong and you're so serious!"

X tilted his head, he didn't quite understand what was going on but he recognized that his "mission mode" was scaring the smaller…uh, reploid (?).

"Sorry, I can be stiff at times." He put on a smile and reached out his hand, "My name is X, what's yours?"

They looked from his hand up to his face and turned an even darker red before they tentatively reached out and shook his hand.

"My name is Sakura. I'm, um, I'm part of the Legend Restoration team. There's, uh, not a crisis. Gosh, there hasn't been a crisis in… Uh, definitely longer than I've been alive.. you're back just to…be back. That's what we do, we restore old reploids and robots– mostly famous ones, like you, because it's easier to get a hold of the necessary memories to reestablish– oh, sorry, that won't make any sense to you." Sakura explained and X lifted a brow. Really? That sounded amazing, but…

"So you brought me back just so I could enjoy a peaceful world?" He asked and she brightened with a nod.

"Essentially! You're a Legend! Everyone will be so happy to be able to see you!" Sakura said brightly and X felt uneasy with the wording.

"Am I a.. showpiece?"

Sakura's mouth hung open for a moment and then shut.

"Um, no, not like that. But everyone knows the legend of X and, of course, there will be some desire for publicity… The museum has a place for you to stay and there aren't Maverick Hunters anymore so I'm sure you'd like to keep busy.." Sakura kept talking and X was somehow more and less confused as she did– but he was getting the idea that he was in fact a showpiece, or maybe an exhibit.

His powercore throbbed a bit, being a showpiece probably wouldn't be so bad, he was a public face and liaison before, the attention wouldn't particularly bother him, he didn't think. But what he really wanted to know, what he was hoping for, what would make it worth it was–

"Zero too?"

Sakura looked at him and then down and away.

"They said that you might ask about him… He's another reploid on the Legend project, yes." She said and X's brows quirked. There was something wrong.

"The soul has to be willing and he isn't?" X asked, his gut clenching, reploids having souls was a whole debate for another time but he himself had always had a desire to see peace, but he had always known Zero to reconcile his decisions before he made them, setting all conflicting feelings away– when he was ready to lay down his life, he did it while at peace.

Sakura's eyes went wide.

"Oh! No! That's not the issue! The issue is– well, I don't– we don't– uh…" She looked down,

"He's not great with waking up." She fiddled with an object she pulled from her pocket while X calmly watched.

"Can you explain?"

"Well he's been rebuilt into his "version two" body but has been known– from his legend– to wake up fighting and we–we're not, um, fighters. I don't think even our biggest security guard could do anything close to stand up to him long enough to try and calm him down. We've done everything to try and mitigate the response but the calculations still indicate that he'll wake up aggressive." Her voice was small and X couldn't help a small chuckle coming from his chest, shaking his head.

"He's been through a lot, leaping into combat mode wouldn't be a leap of logic to make– but Zero is just calm as I am." X said, "He woke up poorly once, but after that he only fought when he had to."

Sakura looked like she didn't believe him in the slightest.

"Dahte is rarely wrong." She said measuredly and X did his best to hide a pulsing desperation in his chest. He wanted Zero. He wanted him more than anything else he could think of.

"If you're concerned, I'd be glad to be there. I can handle him if he's upset, he–."

"We're trying both Iris and Ciel to see if the familiar faces will help, there's data suggesting that he had intense and possibly romantic feelings for them." Sakura said, looking at a smaller holoscreen and X strangled back a sharp reply and merely smiled.

"I've known him longer and, with all due respect, neither of them could handle if he was violent." He leaned into the fears of Zero's violence a bit, feeling hot irritation and maybe some intense prickles of jealousy flush through him.

He shouldn't be jealous, he knew what they had was strong, even if Zero forgetting he ever existed was intensely painful. Zero's memories had been a bit like when you damage a computer and salvage it back into a stable state, everything was there but the details were…lost. His strongest memories would be those of the events after he woke up in the future in his new body. But Zero had known him by the end, he was sure Zero had loved him then, too.

Zero had been the last thing on X's mind when he'd died. Unfortunately…X didn't know if he'd been the last thing on Zero's mind.

But

But he was sure that his relationship with Zero was deeper and longer than absolutely anyone else combined. Sakura considered him and smiled.

"Of course I want you there, you two are a 'Pair'! People will be ecstatic if they get to see the two of you together." Sakura said and X nodded.

"Let's go then, it's– I want to see him. I've missed him." X didn't mention that he also missed touching him. Not being able to do so had almost killed him before.

It didn't really matter that Zero was locked and sleeping in a pod, it still made him happy. For a moment it was like nothing had ever happened at all– well, except maybe Zero detonating himself to save him– and they could pick up where they left off back when they were just a pair of relatively low-rank Hunters.

"Oh, wow, X." X stiffened up and turned around to see Iris and Ciel.

"I've never seen you like this." Ciel remarked while Iris chuckled.

"Long time no see." Iris said and he nodded to them.

"Yeah."

"It's nice to see you smile." Ciel said kindly and he nodded again.

"Same to you." He said, a bit stiff. He'd wanted to be alone with Zero.

"In hindsight, X, you were right. It would've been a lot easier to just go into Maverick Hunter HQ and answer questions than have the whole Repliforce be considered Maverick. …And to not fight Zero." Iris said softly, a bit of an awkward topic. Because what else did they really have to say just on sight?

"It's always easier to see mistakes after they've happened. You were distraught." X replied and she nodded.

"You always were really nice. I guess you're here to see your partner wake up, huh? They said he might be aggressive, I'll be glad to have you nearby." Iris said cheerily. She was trying to be nice but it grated against his nerves. He had to breathe out the irrational jealousy while Ciel watched the whole exchange with her large eyes.

"It's good to see Zero's sacrifice come to fruition." Ciel said, also stiff, seeming upset and X wondered what had happened to her. What had happened at all since the last time he was conscious? How'd they get here?

"Yeah." X had to say, it was a bit infuriating for everyone to gloss over the fact that he had also sacrificed himself and done a lot. It didn't really matter now. All there was now was a future where he was alive, there was peace, and he was about to have Zero again.

"Is everyone ready?" Sakura called from where she was with another person with 'Layla' picked out on her white coat. X straightened and went to Zero's side.

"I've been ready."

"Here we go!"

The pod flashed and beeped a few times before opening and revealing Zero to the open air. He glowed for a few moments before it faded and he saw Zero twitch just the slightest bit.

He opened his eyes slowly, that bright, summery blue unfocused and almost sleepy. X lifted his hand to take Zero's, opening his mouth to say something when both femmes bounced up with big smiles.

"Zero!"

"Your eyes are so bright like this!"

The blond lifted his head and looked confused, brows pinching together as the femmes started chatting him up, both immediately regaling him with memories and cheery welcomes and how they were glad to see him. He propped up on his elbows, glancing between them and actually looking…a bit uncomfortable, his expression never shifting from his standard, stoic frown save for his brows being pinched.

X shifted to the base of the pod and Zero's attention was suddenly caught by him. He lifted his head to look at him and his brows lifted, then he smiled.

Smiled.

Not just any smile. The same smile he used to get when Zero was shy but happy to see him–one he hadn't seen in hundreds of years.

Zero got up, heedless of the others, and stood just a mere few inches from X.

"It's been a long time since we looked like this." Zero said, his voice low and soft. X nodded, lifting his hand, where Zero caught it and held it with a squeeze.

"Glad you decided to remember me this time." X said and Zero chuckled– a warm, beautiful sound coming from him. It made X all soft on the inside when Zero did that, rare as it was.

"If I had the choice, I'd never have forgotten." Then his hand was warm on his jaw and a familiar pair of lips slid against his own and his chest ached with love. It melted into these stars and sparklers of joy as Zero slid his arm around his waist and he wrapped his arms around the blond's neck.

He sighed out through his nose as Zero squeezed him extra close, trading soft kisses back and forth before a long, deep one that made his boot tips numb.

"Y'know, I did always think X and Zero were awfully close." Iris commented to Ciel, who nodded.

"This makes a lot of other things make a whole lot more sense."

"Oh. When they said to restore the Legend Pair X and Zero, I don't think this is what they meant." Layla said to Sakura, who hid a laugh.

"Somehow I don't think they'll mind."

They broke and pressed their crystals together, glowing warmly.

"I love you and I'm sorry." Zero murmured and X rubbed their crystals together, sharing some soft electrical pulses.

"I love you too." X replied, "We did everything we could and it worked. You don't have to apologize for that."

Zero pulled back and cupped his jaw, blue eyes sad.

"You say that, but I know what I did. And I know you were lonely for a long, long time." He murmured and X swallowed down a tidal wave of words.

"Everything is over. We've been resurrected as part of a restoration project of some kind. We're "Legends"; sounds like we're a museum exhibit." X said instead of anything else and Zero nodded, accepting it without question– or maybe he had a lot of questions but he wasn't asking X, not when he was able to hold him and not have to worry.

"Yes! (Well you're not an exhibit per se) You two are actually a "Legend Pair". There's other notable pairs that we've 'restored' already– you might know "Rock" and "Roll"– especially you, X, since you're 'Megaman' too!" Layla said excitedly.

"Mmm, yeah I don't think they're listening." Sakura said with a soft laugh at the mechs looking into one another's eyes and nothing else,

"Guess my data was wrong." Sakura hummed thoughtfully and Layla elbowed her.

"So was Dahte. He didn't even breathe aggressively." Layla grinned, "And you owe me a tea for you both being wrong."

"Fine. Rose or lavender?" Sakura sighed.

"I think we're being stared at." X said softly and Zero's lips pulled into a little smirk that he was familiar with– just from a long time ago.

"I don't care if the whole world watches." And then X was being kissed again.

#mmx #megaman x #fanfiction #happy ending #megaman zero #x/zero #iris #ciel #writing #ao3 #xzero #zerox

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jonarbuckled · 2 years

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hey !! i’ve got a bit of a oneshot request , if that’s alright. i have this headcanon that Annie is generally (platonically) physical with Garcello (just kinda hangs off him sometimes) but especially if she feels his safety is being threatened . could you possibly write that it gets brought up in their day-to-day conversation, Garcello asking why exactly she does so? thanks so much in advance if you accept . take care !!

( Hiya! I ADORE this and I hope I got your headcanon thoughts out correctly in this writing. I tried my best, and I wanted it to be short and simple :] )

How come?

On the couch, the young man sat crosslegged. Cigarette in hand as he stared up at the ceiling popcorn, letting his thoughts overflow the current atmosphere. Why does this necessarily make him confused? It's just her affection. Hearing the front door slam shut brought him back; turning to face his best friend, Annie.

"Heya, G." Her voice made him smile. Of course it did, it's one that never fails to force a smile on his normally gloomy face.

"Hi, Ann."

"Whatcha been up to?"

"..I've just been thinking."

Their conversation went back and forth. Annie taking out her liquid and Garcello taking a few more puffs of his cigarette, and as quickly as the conversation started; he felt her arms wrap around him like a teddy bear.

"Hey, how come you're always… y'know, trying to be physical with me?"

The question didn't really register to her, she never thought about it. It was mostly instinctive Due to how she thought sometimes; if he died, she wouldn't know what to do without him. Looking back, she was meant with his brown eyes. She knew she could be honest. "I just don't want to lose you, Gar!"

Her words hit him like a train, he opened his mouth to protest before his thoughts were shut off. "I don't want you to get hurt. I simply think that if I touch you, nothing will!"

It took him a bit to understand, but once he did he gave her a soft smile, jokingly kissing her forehead as he slowly relaxed into the seat. Maybe it won't bother him anymore with her response. Turning on the TV, she continued to be close; holding his hand, sharing popcorn, giggling under the blankets when he told a joke. It was like a forever sleepover. Knowing she wanted him to be safe, he'll make sure her wishes are kept.

note: this was so cute writing; my head went a bit overboard when I imagined this so I'm sorry that it's all so suppressed qwq,, besides that, have fun reading

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undertale-writing-times · 2 years

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Dream, Ink, Nightmare, Reap, Dusty and Lover one day come for a surprise visit to their s/o, only the second they enter the house they are immediately hit with the strong smell of blood.

They locate their s/o in the kitchen who is just casually replacing a very red cotton dental roll with a fresh one in their mouth, and they glance over at them just as they finish up to say:

"Oh! Oh gosh, don't worry! I've just gotten my last wisdom tooth ripped out by the dentist, so... if you smell blood… then that's why. I'm not hurt beyond that."

They are clearly trembling quite a bit from the adrenaline they experienced going through that, but other than that they don't appear to be too bothered.

Just so curious as to how they would react to this scenario since I finally had my last wisdom tooth removed today.

It was unpleasant （´・｀）

Eyyyy :D I remember when I got my wisdom teeth taken out.

I was all loopy and just kept saying "F you" to my mom and crying about cows.

Dream: When Dream came into the house, he was going to say something to get his datemate's attention, until he smelled the blood. It was a familiar scent, and it caused him to panic. A deep sickening feeling forming in his chest. Was he going to find them bleeding out on the floor? Dead? Are they dying?! He shakes his head to get his mind off that, and rushes off to find Y/n. He found them in the kitchen replacing the red balls making him stick his tongue out a little. Ew... he looks at them "Y/n, are you okay?" they look over at him, and nod. They explain, in a voice that was a little hard to understand, that they got their wisdom teeth taken out. Ew ew ew! What?! He shakes his head, trying to calm himself down and walks over putting his arms around their waist, resting his head against their back "You worried me" he mumbles. He shuts his eye sockets, letting his powers go through them soothing any pain that they were feeling. He was a bit like a pain pill! How funny.

Ink: The smell of blood was something that caught Ink's attention quickly, making him sniff at the air then starts to walk around looking for his datemate. Was his datemate dead? That would suck he was excited to see them today. Every time he blunk, his eyes would change shapes being mostly question marks. When he saw his datemate, he perks up and smiles "Y/n!" he walks over, looking at the red stuff "Ewww you're bleeding, are you okay?" he reaches over to poke the ball, but Y/n pushes his hand away, explaining what happened. Their voice sounded pretty weird... "So, you're missing a tooth? Can I see?" he leans over and laughs as they push him away. Aww come on, that's so not fair! He thinks it could be interesting to see... humans were squishy and weird!

Nightmare: When Nightmare came into the house, having come over to see his datemate, he smells the blood which caused his body to feel... strange. He couldn't sense any too bad negative energies so he had a feeling that they weren't dead or dying but... still, enough. So, he followed where the smell was coming from and perked up when he saw whatever they were doing with the cotton "Y/n, what are you doing?" they look over at him, and start to explain. He had a hard time understanding them because of the weird stuff in their mouth. "Someone ripped one of your teeth out? Why? Do I need to kill him?" then they explain why while leaning against him, and he slowly sighs out and leads them over to the couch to sit down muttering under his breath. He didn't like the idea of someone doing that to them...

Reap: Reap normally wouldn't be the type to appear without any type of warning, he would hate to give his datemate a heart attack haha... that isn't really a pun, is it? Eh, whatever, he didn't really care about that too much. Today he decided to go and see them. When he smelled the blood when he came in though? He felt panic shoot through his body. He knew that they weren't dead but he was still allowed to be panicked! Floating around their house quickly, he finally went into the kitchen and saw them “Y/n? Are you okay?” his eyes shoot to look at the... cotton stuff in their hands. Ew. They look over at him, and quickly explain, or at least as quickly as they could. So they're not dying? Of course they're not dying... it was literally his job... blah he's stupid. “Warn me next time” he mutters, putting his hand against his chest and floating closer to see what they were doing, holding his arms behind his back.

Dusty: Dusty had been on edge today. Something happened to make him feel like everyone was out to hurt him. It happened sometimes, nothing that he was new to but it still upset him. So, he decided to go and visit his datemate! He couldn't really remember everything that happened on the way of going over so when he got there and smelled blood, his brother, Pappy, started to talk to him “What if someone came and killed them? Killed them because you weren't there to help them” and laughing. Dusty would swipe his hand at his brother, sending him away muttering to himself, and slowly starts to walk closer to the smell. It was a familiar smell, one that he honestly wished that he didn't know so well. When he saw them, leaning over the sink, removing the cotton, and putting more in that was when he got a little confused “Y/n?” his hands were shaking, his bones clicking together and rattling. Something that skeletons did when they were freaked out, sometimes to give themselves comfort but normally when they were freaked out. Y/n looks over at him, and waves smiling then their smile drops and they quickly start to explain what happened. It was a little hard for him to understand them “So... you're okay?” he mumbles, and walks over hugging them, hiding his face against their chest. He hated the idea of them being hurt.

Lover: Lover was pretty happy to have a datemate, and really happy to have someone that loved him for being... him and not just for his body; so when he came into the house to smell blood, he was a little shocked. His eye shines shoot around, suddenly feeling nervous "Y/n?" he hurries around, looking for them until he heard them say "kitchen!" their voice sounded weird. He hurries over to the kitchen, seeing them removing red stuff from their mouth and replacing it? "Y/n, what happened? Are you okay?!" he hurries over, putting his hands on their shoulders. They look at him, and laugh softly explaining what happened, or at least trying to explain the best that they could. He sighs and hugs them, resting his head on their shoulder "You worry me too much sometimes, Y/n" oh man, stress is so not good for him!

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miss-kittys-magical-library · 3 years

Text

Someone Saved My Life

(Jack x Rin Davies, Pt 1)

Word Count: 3600

Warnings: nothing just intimacy, implied sex and a bit of angst thrown in for funsies

A/N: Jack takes Rin to the Yorkshire Moors for their first holiday together. After all they've been through together, they could use the time away. And yet their first night ends with the arrival of an unwanted guest. ((Totally didn't plan on writing anything let alone another story for the two of them. Was going to try to work on an Ivan story, but I tossed around this idea for months now, and it just felt right? Self indulgence is my new name when it comes to writing!))

Things weren't always perfect between Jack and Rin. Jack had days where he slipped back into isolation. The sadness would swell and he wouldn't sleep. Rin knew those were the times he was surrounded. Overwhelmed. And while he mostly ignored the dead, she could feel when they simply refused to ignore him.

They would come in droves and scatter about any room Jack was in. Crammed together like sardines in a can all shouting for messages to be passed to the living. Sometimes Rin would give him a wide berth, the death and decay crawled along her own skin. She would dress with every inch of her skin covered and attempt to sleep alone while Jack banished himself to the sofa. Those nights resulted in him exploding with anger and shouts of desperation to be left alone.

The guilt would wash over Rin. They're a couple, she would remember. Partners. Not just lovers and friends. You take the worst of one another as your own, and she could ACTUALLY do that for Jack. Letting him be was not a choice anymore, no matter what he believed.

Rin would go and gently talk Jack down into her lap. His thick mass of waves and curls against her bare thighs would be sweaty. He would curl on his side with a hand under legs instead of his cheek. His other by his mouth so he could anxiously chew on the already devastated thumb nail. She knew his eyes would be jammed shut.

Rin would brush the curls off Jack’s forehead with fingertips. Fingers that traced delicate and light patterns over his temples and cheeks where they wiped away tears as she hummed. Her thumb soft along his lips before they ran back up where she would press her index, middle, and ring finger into his temple. Then she would sing and fill his head with warmth and love to bring the light instead of death.

“Someone saved my life tonight..” And Rin would look up and around at them all. Her voice came out soft and full of affection. She would narrow her eyes in their direction. Silently chastising them all the while comforting Jack.

His body relaxed as she continued, “You almost had your hooks in me. Didn't you dear. You nearly had me roped and tied. Altar bound, hypnotized, sweet freedom, whispered in my ear. You're a butterfly, and butterflies are free to fly. Fly away..” Her hand would sweep in a wild gesture along the lot of them. He would be asleep, and she would be alone with the shock of the departed that they had another to see them.

As long as Rin connected with Jack he wasn't alone in his ability. They discovered that with Finch. Jack was the conjurer; Rin the conduit. A hundred years ago they would have been rich in the spiritualism movement. Now they were labeled mental and mad and stuffed full of chemicals, their gifts silenced.

Never again for either of them, Rin would hold back the dead so her love could sleep and get peace. When she interfered the protection emanated from her. They would stop shouting, stop begging, just.. stop. Rin would flick her hand like she was casting a powerful spell, her eyes set in determination. Then they would be gone.

Then there were times like this. When Jack closed up his shop with a sign that said “I'm on Holidays. Dunno when, I'm almost thirty and this is my first one.” He put himself and Rin on a train up to Yorkshire where they hailed a cab to what was theirs for the next month.

Rin gazed in delight at the two story stone cottage. It was covered in ivy and moss with a carved stone fence and a picket gate. There was a little English rose garden off to the side of the house, and wildflowers simply everywhere else. In the hills beyond stood grazing cattle and a pond. Behind the hills of Yorkshire.

“Oh, Jack,” it was just a breath that managed to escape her.

“D’you reckon it's alright?” he scratched his shaggy head. There was worry in his green eyes as he glanced towards his partner for approval.

Rin’s eyes met Jack’s, and she slipped her ungloved hand inside of his. Their palms together, she squeezed. “This is stunning,” she hoped to reassure him. Her gratitude and pleasure flowed from her body to his through her touch.

Jack had just bent to kiss Rin when someone interrupted them and cleared their throat. A feminine voice shouted, “Yoo hoo! Hello!”

The couple turned to see a stout, round faced cheerful old woman in the garden. She wore a wide brim straw hat, an old dress and an apron. Rin was reminded of a human Mrs. Potts as the elder smiled wide.

“Aren't you a delight!” she beamed. Making her way to the gate she stopped. “I'm Mrs. Barrow. My husband, Henry is round back in the barn. Oh it's been AGES since we've had newlyweds.”

Jack's cheeks pinked, but Rin giggled. “No. We're not married.”

“Oh, sinful little doves.” The old woman winked. “By the looks of him, I can see why.” She fanned herself dramatically and Jack now turned red. He scratched at his head even harder whilst his eyebrows disappeared in his hair.

“This is Jack, and I'm Wren. But you can call me Rin! Are you the caretakers? Is this your house? We're on our first holiday together.” The words tumbled out of the young woman before she could stop herself.

“Oh no, little Wren. Henry and I..” Rin had let go of Jack's hand to shake Mrs. Barrow’s. The moment she let go, the old woman disappeared. Rin gasped and turned to her boyfriend.

“She was telling us she and her husband did live here. Died from the Spanish flu a hundred years ago.” Jack gave a little shrug, but a tiny grin had crept into the corners of his mouth. “They love it here so much, neither moved on.”

Rin reached for him, and his hand covered hers. The old woman reappeared. “Sorry, Missus. I didn't know?”

She laughed heartily in response, “Sometimes Henry and I forget we're dead. Never had someone who could see us before. Let alone a couple. The moors are full of ghosts, mostly long gone. None of us here for a bother, especially since your beau here looks exhausted. Just popped in for a bit of cheek and a greeting. If you need us, give a shout ok?” Then she was gone.

“Why can't they all be like that?!” Jack almost shouted his question.

“Maybe we should move up here where they've had time to get used to it? The ones in Manchester are all.. fresh and selfish and confused.”

Rin pulled Jack towards her for a kiss. His tongue teased her for the briefest moment before he picked her up and carried her in his arms towards the cottage.

“What are you doing?!” she squealed.

“Dunno. Little biddie thought we’re married,” he leaned in to kiss her a few more times. He waggled his eyebrows, “Might as well act like it.”

“Jack, we just got here!”

“I've been ready since we woke up. We’ll have a shag then go out to the pub for a few pints and some fish n chips.”

“Romantic,” Rin rolled her eyes as Jack opened the door around her.

“Oh, you love me!” Jack set her down in the foyer then playfully slapped his girlfriend on the ass.

Rin jumped and bolted up the stairs before he could catch her. “I do!” she called down to him. “What's that vow? Till death do us part?” She started to strip her clothes off to her bra and panties. Her finger made a come here motion before she disappeared around a corner.

Jack's face fell, but only for the swiftest of moments. “Even then you wouldn't be gone.”

------

Rin snuck out of the bed as she so often did after they had sex. Mostly because it was the soundest Jack ever slept with his long limbs stretched out as if she wasn’t there. Or he would envelop her in his arms without a choice. And even though she understood Jack's desire to be with her constantly, sometimes Rin felt smothered.

Now she stood at the foot of the bed to watch Jack's breathing as his sternum rose and fell with a steady rhythm. He laid on his back, arm above his head in a languid position. The sheets barely draped across his hips to reveal the V shape of his pelvis and just a tuft of pubic hair. Rin’s eyes kept going until she felt her heart between her thighs and not in her chest.

“Go take a bath,” her brain scolded her. “Wash off the train and sex before you go out for dinner. You stand here any longer, you'll wake him up by straddling him.”

Rin’s body wavered. I mean, that was an idea. “BATH, ADERYN DAVIES!” At least her inner monologue didn't use her middle name.

Rin closed the door and turned on the hot water. She was lost in thought as it filled. How she and Jack developed a willingness to share their bodies with one another in the light. That she relished how their chests and mouths and skin dissipated into reciprocated emotions. Jack was addicted to it the way she could absorb him and switch places with him. Show him what it was like to be her. Empathy became his heroin.

Rin climbed into the tub and settled against the porcelain. She relaxed her mind and body until only her breasts remained afloat. She never took a bath. Not since her time in hospital when she and Jack met. Where the dead tried to drown them. But she and Jack saved each other.

Maybe because they were nearing the three year anniversary of that awful time, but Rin thought about it more these days. She held her hands above the water and ran her scarred fingers over the further damage she had done to herself. The long jagged line from her wrist to forearm. Usually she wasn't quite THAT bad off when she tried to commit suicide, and even now she couldn't remember what was her trigger that day.

“There's not even a word to describe how bloody melancholy suicides are when they come ‘round,” Jack would say. “Maybe desolate?”

“Did you ever try?”

“Not that I remember. Didn't wanna upset Emma. Always seems so messy. Guess maybe I was doing it slowly though, the way I lived. We're ok now, right?” he would ask and kiss her hand.

“We're diamonds, Jack,” she would respond, "Unbreakable.”

Now Rin knew he was in the doorway. It was hard to sneak up on her if you gave off too much emotion. Currently Jack was as warm and comforting as the water she floated about in.

“You alright?” his sleepy voice carried a trace of concern.

Rin looked up and back at him, her fingers still on her scar. “Yeah! Just thinking about us. This.”

The air shifted. A wicked grin played across Jack's face as he walked around the side of the tub. His naked body in full view. Rin’s face flushed and her heart raced, but she kept her composure on the surface as he stepped in to join her. His hands on her waist drew her into his lap. She threw her arms around his neck as they held onto each other tightly. Jack pressed his lips to Rin’s neck where he kissed a trail down over the curve of her shoulder.

“Jaacckk,” she whinged. “Come on I was sat here having a think, and you’re like a teenage boy with this!” She tried to hide a moan when he bent her back to capture her breast in his mouth. “Bless,” was her response.

“I can't help it!” he teased from between them. “I have so much lost time, and you’re so bloody sexy.”

“Will you put that thing away!” Rin’s voice was louder, but still had laughter in it. “C’mon Jack. This should be sweet and romantic. Somehow you always turn it into a porno.”

“I can't help that my,” Jack pointed his finger towards the water and whistled, “likes you. Loves you? Always wants to be in you.”

“Cock, Jack. It's called a cock. Shouldn't it be used to me by now? It's been almost a year.”

Jack stopped teasing Rin. He looked at her seriously now. Those green eyes seemed to search her soul as they moved back and forth over her face. “One year?”

“Yes.”

“I can't believe I had forgotten you all the time between..” his voice trailed off.

“It's ok,” Rin spoke softly.

Jack turned his bottom lip out, “Now I'm sad. So we should shag in this bathtub, then I won't be!”

Rin groaned for a long time after that. “No!! Sex in hot tubs or bath tubs or pools isnt the best. Water is a shite lubricant, trust.”

Jack pushed her away and feigned disgust. “Have you shagged in them before?”

“Once or twice.”

“With Roland?”

“What?! No! I told you we only had sex once. Then he left LITERALLY the next day. Why are you so weirdly jealous of him? It wasn't my first time. I've been with loads of men.”

Rin sat back again on her side of the tub. She reached for the body wash on a shelf, and started to use it on her arms and chest. Her eyebrow arched as if she was trying to challenge Jack to get angry at her sexual history.

Jack pulled his knees to his chest. “Are you hoping I get pissed that you've had sex with other guys? Of course you have, you're beautiful. Roland is just so.. Roland.”

“Fair play, but he has a gift like we do.”

“Ghosts and music. Worst super powers ever,” he mused.

Rin opened her arms and motioned Jack to settle in between them and her legs. He turned and laid down with his back completely pressed into her. She kissed his cheek then gestured for him to tilt his head back with her finger under his chin. Jack obeyed with his eyes closed.

Rin cupped water in her hand and poured it over his hair. She repeated the process a few times before he sunk down under the water. She marveled at how long his hair was when wet or straightened. At how long his arms and legs and torso were as he held on to her own knees that were drawn up around him. At how far he had come from the man drawn into himself high, on psych meds, with dirty fingernails and rough cheeks. Now he was open and present and relaxed in her arms.

“Birdie,” Jack started calling her that out of a desire to give her some kind of nickname. Love and darling and babe weren't enough.

“Jackie?” only Rin got away with that. She put some shampoo in her hand and lathered them together in front of their bodies before she dove into his hair.

“You're making me sad thinking about how poor I was when we met. You know, passing it from yourself to me without meaning.”

“What?” she was concentrating on massaging Jack's entire head. Her light fingers made circles and gentle scratches. Then they widened and she drew bigger circles. She didn't want to leave out one inch of his scalp.

“You're body, it's pressed to mine? You're passing along your thoughts without noticing because we're relaxed. But also, please keep doing that. Holy shit that feels nice.”

Rin kept on. She alternated from soft to a little harder to as much pressure as Jack allowed. He gripped her calf and ankles now wrapped around his waist. She used her thumbs to stroke his temples and rub across his forehead before going back to knead the rest of his head again.

Her attention back to reality instead of just on making sure Jack was cared for, she realized what had happened. “I'm sorry! Sorry. I can block it if you want?” She separated her body from his and unwound her legs. Jack held on.

“It's fine,” he reassured her. “Just let me mind your body too?”

Rin snickered, “You minded my body for about an hour already.”

Jack gave an annoyed smirk and rolled his eyes. “I mean like this!” he gestured towards her washing his hair.

“You can wash my hair. That would be lovely.”

“Why don't I..” he stroked his chin. Jack's eyes settled on the stuff she had spread out on the sink. “Shave your legs?”

“Blimey,” Rin whispered. “Really?” Her heart took to pounding in her ears. She eased him down into the water to rinse everything from him clean. “Jack that's very..”

“Intimate?” he was already standing to carefully choose what was her razor and shaving cream. He held them in her direction for approval.

“Actually, yes.” Rin nodded, “And yes. This is really different from shaving your face, y’know. I've got to trust you completely because that is a new blade, and I always nick a damn patch of skin.”

Jack sat back down in the water, placed the razor on the edge of the tub and lifted Rin’s ankle. He pinioned her foot to his chest and bit his entire bottom lip. She felt exposed, made vulnerable by this position. He was looking at the half of her naked body just below the water’s surface. The can of gel faltered as he shook it.

“Jack! You're shaving my legs, not my twat. Eyes on what you're doing!” Rin snapped her finger to catch his attention.

“I can do-”

“Keep speaking, and no sex for two days.”

Jack frowned but sprayed the soap on her shin. He spread it around from the ankle up to her knee before trying to go higher. Rin held up her hand, “Only strippers and sex workers shave that high!”

He snorted and continued on the back of her leg and made sure to get the back of her knee. She was especially ticklish there and jerked her body and giggled as a result. They both could be in trouble: Jack with a sharp object; Rin with the ability to kick him in the sternum if he wasn't careful.

“Better luck if you're facing away from me. You have to shave with the blades towards my knee. You best sit back against me like before.”

“Or,” Jack held the razor backwards with the head towards his wrist. His thumb on the grooved grip as he placed it delicately by Rin’s ankle. The handle was awkward in his large fingers as he took it gingerly and with the utmost of care upward. The blade made a path in the cream as he moved it up to her knee.

Rin inhaled as he did the same gesture again. She exhaled when the razor met her kneecap. Steady breathing with each swipe along her leg. The tip of Jack's tongue stuck out from his lips as he concentrated. He worked and focused and shifted her calf just enough to get the sides and the back. The only sound in the bathroom was the splish of water when he cleaned the blade after each path.

“Oh,” was all that left Rin’s mouth the entire time. Her eyes never left Jack's face while his own refused to break away from her leg.

“You alright?” Jack finally looked up at Rin just as he was getting a start on her other leg.

Rin shook her head with enthusiasm. Now her turn to bite her bottom lip before a giant smile crawled from ear to ear. “I'm grand! I love you.”

And just like he always did when she said that, Jack looked sheepish. Like he still couldn't believe that any.one would love him let alone a whole family of them. Rin. Emma. Billy. Jerry. They all loved him without condition.

“I love you too,” Jack smiled in kind. It reached his eyes in wrinkled skin in the corners of them. He made his way around his girlfriend’s other leg and realized something had grown inside of him. He was starting to care for himself.

So this is it, Jack thought as he finished shaving Rin’s legs, I think I love myself?

Before he could say anything the doorbell rang downstairs and scared the shit out of them both. They scrambled to their feet and started to dry off in a harried way. In the bedroom, they threw on clothes as the bell rang out again with more insistence.

“Can ghosts ring?”

“No! Not usually. BLOODY HELL WE’RE COMING!” Jack shouted as he rushed down the steps. He turned the light on in the foyer and opened the door. Rin couldn't make out anything but Jack’s shocked voice. “What the fuck are you doing here? You're two weeks early, mate.”

“She.. I should've.. Wren.. I lost my..” the words were broken up by Jack's body.

Rin made her way down and peered around Jack's shoulder. A tired, swollen eyed man stood on the front stoop. His hair was a curly mess; his goatee and mustache looked like a positive fright. She could tell he hadn't been sleeping much. It was the first time Rin had seen him alone in the last year. It was the first time Rin had seen him in PERSON in maybe seven in spite of all his promises.

“ROLAND?!”

Both he and Jack turned towards Rin and shouted simultaneously, “Surprise!”

tag @robertsheehanownsmyass @magic-multicolored-miracle @slutforrobbiebro @forenschik @super-unpredictable98 @bisexualnathanyoung @nightmonsters @rob-private @badsext @bwritesstuff @frogs--are--bitches

#robert sheehan #robert sheehan character fic #jack x rin #jack x rin davies #jack mason?#my beautiful broken man

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enigmawrappedinhypocrisy · 4 years

Note

I've recently really gotten into your blog and I love how you write Barley, I'm very interested by the NSFW because I didn't expect this much love for him from the community! I wanted to request something NSFW if it's okay :)! I like the concept between fem reader and Barley ending up doing the deed in his van ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (Could I add that during this deed, Barley is very passionate and thorough as well as -not safe sex- 👀?) Thank you for your time, I look forward to your stories, take care! ❤️

Hey guess who totally didn’t forget about this sitting in my drafts 75% finished for a looooong time?!! Sorry

Okay… the nsfw things really take longer for me to come up with… it’s like… difficult for me to come up with something that doesn’t sound like bullet points or has bad pacing…

Aand I could not come up with an opener for this… all I kept thinking of was the premise for the other time there was sexy times in Barley’s van… and I couldn’t do that twice… And i’m not sure what you mean by ‘very passionate’ so hopefully this works…

Fandom: Onward

Pairing: Barley Lightfoot x Fem reader

Warnings: NSFW! Badly written Smut, Fingering, unsafe sex, some cum talk I guess... kinda upsetting language in the beginning...

❀✦ Master List✦❀

The day was warm and bright, your parents were having their annual summer party,

You were grateful Barley was there to help balance you, as the people invited tended to be a little… much...

Everything was okay for a while… you were able to avoid any uncomfortable discussions by spending a good amount of time in the kitchen ‘helping’ until your parents insisted you ‘join the fun’.

It only took a few minutes before the conversation outside shifted to you...

A great aunt commented that, “you’d be pretty if you dropped the weight…”

A cousin asked when you’re going to get married, and someone responded with something that sounded like “when she gets ‘in trouble’”

Your mother’s friend told you she thought you should date her son instead of that “troublemaker you were dating”.

And then politics…

It was very quickly becoming too much… and you needed out.

Barley had been helping your parents and was mostly kept away from the toxicity, until you texted him.

It didn’t take long for the back of the van to open revealing a concerned and slightly amused Barley.

“What happened?” He climbs in, shutting the door behind him.

You’re lying on the floor in the center of Guinevere. Barley joins you, on his side, facing you. His hand brushes some hair from your face.

You huff but give him a quick recap of what happened.

Barley frowns, “Want me to go talk to them? They shouldn’t be saying things like that...��

“No,” you sigh knowing that won't help…

But then a thought wormed its way into your head. You try to hide the smile that flashes across your face as you reach up and pull Barley down to you.

He smiles into the kiss, always happy to kiss you… and he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t missed being affectionate with you throughout the day. You had both decided earlier to keep the ‘lovey stuff’ to a minimum around your family in order to avoid… well… basically what ended up happening anyway…

When he was distracted you shifted your position so you were now on top of him. Barley’s hands instinctively move to your hips, “What are you doing?” he smiles up at you.

You return his smile with a smirk, before rocking your hips against his.

“You know I’m always up for this but your family…” Barley blushes as you tug off your shirt.

It was if you didn’t care if you got caught… or maybe you wanted to… to show those people… something… your feelings were all jumbled at the moment and you’d decided to just go with them. Barley made you feel safe to share those kinds of feelings with. And you wanted him right now! In his van, on the curb, in front of your house.

You lean down to nibble on his neck, whispering breathlessly to him that you don’t care, and “let them be miserable while we’re having fun”

You reach back and quickly remove your bra, tossing it somewhere in the van.

Barley chuckles, “as long as I get to say ‘told you so’ if we get caught.”

“Deal” you lean back into a kiss, yelping when Barley retakes control.

He knows you’re still a little upset by their words, even if you won’t admit it, and Barley was more than happy to take the opportunity to take care of you.

He spends some time worshiping your body with his hands and mouth, sometimes nuzzling you playfully. He breathes soft words into your rapidly heating skin. Telling you how much he loves you, he wants to let you know how much he adores you, and your body.

Eventually he makes his way down to your waistline. Barley winks up at you playfully before pulling off your pants. He leans down and nips at your hip.

You giggle and nudge him with your foot.

He winks again before he works your panties down and off of you. Now you're fully nude in Barley's van… and he's not… You're about to bring it up when he brushes his hand along your slit.

You glare at him, at his cheeky smile, 'cause he knows just what he’s doing. He knows you want him now, and his teasing is not helping satiate that need.

The glare works, and Barley quickly continues, moving up your body to kiss you again. His hand continues to teasingly stroke along your folds, now moving with purpose and not just teasing.

Once he felt you were distracted by the kiss he slips a finger into you, smiling when you moan into his mouth. Before long he adds a second finger, stretching you, working you the way he knows you like. .

Pulling away slightly, Barley leaves some pecking kisses on your face, "You know I think you're beautiful, right?" He tells you, cheeks flushed.

You bite your lip looking up at him, a little distracted by his fingers inside you. "You're wonderful," you tell him.

"No you," Barley smiles, a little heart eyed. Before you could protest or add anything Barley hooks his fingers inside you unexpectedly, drawing out a surprised moan from you.

He continues his fingering while he leans forward, and begins marking your neck. He wants you to be able to look in the mirror later and know he loves you. You might have said those words didn’t bother you… but Barley wanted to make sure…

Your hands find their way into his hair, knocking his hat off in your haste, and gripping his hair.

Brushing his thumb firmly over your clit he quickly brings you to your first orgasm. Your insides twitching around his thick fingers, eyes shut tight. Barley withdraws and allows you as much time as you need to recover. He just enjoys watching you in bliss, a little proud to be the one responsible for it.

While you’re in your blissful post orgasmic state you find yourself keenly aware of the scents surrounding you. The cinnamon dragon shaped air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror. The obvious musk of sex, and then Barley, above all else you can smell him.

He’d made sure to dress up a little nicer, shave which made you a little sad, and wore the cologne you’d bought him for his birthday last year. The effort he’d put in to make a good impression filled your heart.

How’d I get so lucky? you muse to yourself, hooking a leg around Barley's hip, drawing him closer to you.

With a soft chuckle at your eagerness Barley leans forward, his forehead pressed against yours. “Someone’s eager” he teases, while already undoing his pants.

“If you don't hurry up” you threaten with a hiss, but are unable to keep the smile from your voice while you do it.

With your legs already wrapped around his waist Barley doesn’t have much room to move as he frees his cock from its fabric confins. He was plenty eager, himself, at this point, earlier reservations forgotten. Cock, standing tall, practically pulsing with anticipation. Barley didn’t know what he’d do If they were to be interrupted at this point, but as your hips buck against him all thoughts vanish the young elf’s mind.

He slips inside you with ease, your warmth already soaked from the earlier orgasm. Barley teases a little at first, starting with shallow thrusts, leaving you to chase after him. Your hips lift and tilt, trying to find the right angle to get him deeper, all the while Barley makes sure to keep just far enough away. The game doesn’t last long, however, as Barley soon finds the teasing too tough to take himself.

With a hand on your hip he gives a sudden thrust, pulling you to him at the same time, bottoming out inside you with a whine. His face buried in your neck as he tries to keep his noises to a minimum, grinding against you lazily.

Barley finds himself wondering how this can always feel like the best time… every time… always… but as you clench around him he’s pulled back into the moment.

Drawing back Barley crashes his lips against yours in a brief heated kiss, before beginning a bruising pace.

Your hands grip his arms as your head falls back, overwhelmed in pleasure. You’re rapidly approaching your second orgasm as Barley quickly finds and assaults a spot deep within you. A spot he’d long since learned, will cause you to see stars.

Barley grips your thigh, and wraps an arm around your back, and with little warning he pulls you up and into his lap. From this angle he’s able to thrust up into you while you writhe, and clench above him. He keeps you against him for a bit, staying deep within your warm walls as he focuses on those places inside you again.

It doesn’t take much more before you clench down on him, both on his cock and his neck, as your orgasm crashes upon you.

This time Barley doesn’t allow you to come down from it as he takes your hips in a more solid grip, and begins lifting you again. Dragging your spasming cunt along his cock, he’s barely able to keep a rhythm, overwhelmed by chasing his own pleasure at this point.

Barley repeatedly lets out your name in breathy whimpers. Not that he was really aware he was doing it. All the while you stroke his back, and moan encouragingly in his ear.

Biting down on your shoulder, Barley holds you tightly to him as his own orgasm finally hits. His whole body shudders, as he cums deep within you.

It only takes a moment for you and Barley to realize the mistake you’d made.

“Oops” you look up at him, biting your lip. You can already feel some of his cum leaking out of you around his now softening member.

Once he realizes, however, Barley’s eyes go wide, he quickly begins to apologize.

With a sympathetic smile you nuzzle into him, assuring him that it was okay, mistakes happen, and you’ll just need to stop at the drug store after the party.

“Besides, it’s kinda hot” you tell him with a mischievous smirk, “being around those judgmental people, only you and I knowing why my underwear is all wet”

It seems Barley didn’t know how to react, his ears flushing, a cum drunk smile stretching across his face. He wasn’t sure if he should be embarrassed or turned on, but a tone coming from your pants pulled him back to reality once again.

He watches you pull away from him and scramble to get your phone. His nerves return once he sees your face. You looked like you’d been caught sneaking a cookie.

“What?”

“We should go to the store now” you bite your lip holding out the phone so Barley could see the text from your mother.

“Your mom uses ‘lol’? Barley teases.

You glare at him over your shoulder, already in the process of redressing.

“Okay, okay” Barley chuckles, readjusting his pants, and starting the van “but don’t say I didn’t tell you so.”

Okay that’s all I got… see you all in another 3 months... Sorry

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celelorien · 3 years

Text

((confession, continued))

a continuation of this scene:

He shook his head as if to clear it, then with a swift, practiced motion, Kluh'taq rolled over onto his knees, throwing one leg over and ending up straddling Glinmuin's lap as he cupped his cheeks in both hands, looking at him intently. "I need you to promise me something," he growled, face now deadly serious. "You will never let me take advantage of you like I did earlier."

"You didn't -" Glinmuin started, but Kluh'taq cut him off.

"I did," he insisted, and drew his hands back to take Glinmuin's, looking down. "I did, and while I am glad you are not upset, I must apologize for my actions. Both the shove and the kiss. I let my emotions get the better of me, and I am deeply sorry."

"Well, I forgive you, then. A bard is nothing if not well aware of the power of passion - plenty of stories only happen because of emotions getting the better of someone," Glinmuin chuckled, shrugging carelessly.

"Then you also know very well that such stories do not always end happily for all involved. Push me away," he commanded suddenly, once more looking directly at Glinmuin.

"What??"

"Push. Me. Away," Kluh'taq repeated, still steadily meeting his confused gaze. Hesitantly, Glinmuin lifted his hand, stretching out his fingertips to press gently against Kluh'taq's shoulder. Immediately the hobgoblin stood, backing away a few steps before kneeling in front of him, pressing his forehead to hands placed on the ground. "My apologies, Glinmuin," he said, hands on his knees as he sat up.

Glinmuin stared at him for a moment, then - "You -! You told me to do it!?" he spluttered, throwing his hands in the air.

"I did, and I appreciate your forbearance," Kluh'taq replied, the corner of his mouth twitching up in an ever so slight smile. "Do you truly have no problem with how I was sitting?"

"No, not at all. I've been told I have a very comfortable lap, thank you very much," Glinmuin retorted, arms crossed as he pouted.

Kluh'taq's mouth twitched up again as he stood, saying, "If all is well, tell me 'You are forgiven.'"

"But there's nothing to forgive!" Glinmuin protested, then sighed as Kluh'taq merely stood there, waiting. "You are forgiven," he repeated, and Kluh'taq stepped forward to either side, returning to his previous position. He took Glinmuin's hands again and placed them on his shoulders.

"Run your hands up and down my arms, please, and at some point push me away," he instructed, settling his own hands on Glinmuin's hips.

"I'm not some frightened bunny, you know," Glinmuin scoffed.

"No, you are your own person with your own likes, dislikes, and boundaries, and I care very deeply for you and desire to not cross them unduly. This is the price I must pay for my cowardice."

"Cowardice?! You? When??" Glinmuin blurted out, shocked. "You've always been the bravest of us, out in front every time, protecting everyone!"

"If I were not a coward, I would have told you the truth long before and it would not have come to such a point. Please - do this for my sake? Not just so you can trust me, but so I can trust me as well." His hands tightened briefly around Glinmuin's hips, but his serious gaze never wavered.

"People are people, and no peoples are perfect," Glinmuin replied, smiling a bit wryly. "But I'll do as you ask, though I do trust you already." He began to trace gentle lines along Kluh'taq's arms and was surprised at the change it wrought - the hobgoblin's eyes fluttered shut and his whole expression softened as he caught his lower lip just between his teeth, tilting forward ever so slightly. It was fascinating, and Glinmuin got so caught up in just observing the differences he nearly forgot what he was supposed to be doing.

He gave a quick little push halfway down his bicep, and again the change was instantaneous - Kluh'taq let out a strangled half-grunt, half-gasp as his eyes snapped open and he stumbled to his feet before they'd even focused, backing away and sinking heavily to his knees. Once more pressing his forehead to his hands, his voice was rough and just a bit shaky as he said, "M-my apologies, Glinmuin." His pupils were dilated, and though he held Glinmuin's gaze as he spoke, he averted his immediately after, looking down at his folded hands.

"You are forgiven. Come back?" Glinmuin opened his arms wide, and as Kluh'taq settled onto his lap again Glinmuin grinned as he realized a dark red flush had begun to suffuse his cheeks and the tips of his ears. "Is that a hobgoblin thing, or a you thing?" he inquired.

"The Ritual is a hobgoblin thing. Arms being sensitive is a me thing," he answered brusquely, not yet meeting Glinmuin's eyes. "It is not usually so much through clothes, but... it is you."

Glinmuin's grin widened as Kluh'taq's blush deepened, spreading further across his cheeks and nose and down his ears. He reached up to tweak one darkened tip and Kluh'taq snatched his hand away, pressing it back against Glinmuin's chest with a firm, "No. Not there, yet - that's a hobgoblin thing pretty much across the board, and I am... not ready for that yet."

"My apologies, Kluh'taq," Glinmuin said, chastened. He couldn't really get up with Kluh'taq on his lap, but he leaned back and inclined his head in a sort of seated bow, dipping his ears to show contrition and covering the offending hand with the other.

"You are forgiven," Kluh'taq responded easily, and a true smile broke across his face like the sun suddenly appearing from behind a cloud. "And I thank you for your use of the proper form."

"Sure, of course," Glinmuin replied distractedly, almost as thrown by the smile as the reprimand. "Are we... are we good? Should I...?"

"It was done in innocence on your end - you didn’t know, and you stopped right away, so you're fine. Once more for me - as they say, thrice for truth," Kluh'taq reassured him, then paused, hesitating. "If you are uncomfortable with the ritual, please, tell me so. It's against the spirit of the thing to force you to do it, after all."

"I may not fully understand why it's necessary, but it doesn't bother me to do it. Especially if it's important to you," he answered, shrugging slightly. "Happy to help. What's next?"

"I asked you before, but I will ask again - may I kiss you?"

"You may."

"Then I ask that once more, at some point, please push me away. You may touch me as you like, though I do ask that you refrain from touching my ears, still."

Glinmuin nodded assent, settling his hands around Kluh'taq's waist as he cupped Glinmuin's face in his again. Slowly, deliberately, Kluh'taq leaned in, pressing a soft kiss onto Glinmuin's cheek next to where his thumb held him. Then at the very corner edge of his mouth, then the tip of his nose. The other corner, the other cheek, and then finally capturing his lips with a hunger that belied the gentleness of his previous kisses, though nowhere near as rough as that very first, the one that led to all this. His hands shifted, one moving around to the back of Glinmuin's head, fingers threading through the ash-blonde hair at the nape of his neck as the other slid down to rest against his collarbone.

“Nnf!” Glinmuin huffed in surprise as Kluh’taq licked across his lips, parting them instinctively to allow him to deepen the kiss.

It was an unusual sensation, but not unpleasant - he savored it a few moments more, his own hands sliding up Kluh’taq’s sides, fingertips digging slightly into the thick muscle before shifting a hand to Kluh’taq’s chest and giving a firm push. He could feel how unyieldingly strong he was, but even so, the moment the pressure obviously changed from touch to push Kluh’taq broke off, leaning back with his hands up. He caught his breath for a moment, then stood deliberately and backed up, kneeling into his third and final bow.

“My apologies, Glinmuin,” he rumbled, voice even huskier now. As he looked up, he smiled softly, mostly with his eyes, the edges of his lips just faintly turned up.

“You are forgiven,” Glinmuin responded, opening his arms again, his own voice a bit thick. To his surprise, Kluh’taq shook his head as he stood, holding a hand out to help Glinmuin to his feet as well instead.

“We have tarried here long enough. We should get back to camp - but I will kiss you again, another time, if you have not reconsidered this relationship.”

“You officially have standing permission to kiss me as you like,” Glinmuin pronounced, a grin on his face as he accepted the proffered hand. “May I kiss you as well?”

“You may. Though I do prefer not to be overly intimate in front of others.”

“Understood.” Glinmuin pulled him in and pressed a quick kiss to the top of Kluh’taq’s head before turning back in the direction of the camp, pulling him along by the hand he still held. Kluh’taq smiled to himself, trotting a couple paces to catch up, finally walking alongside the one he had kept at arm’s length for so long.

#glinmuin #kluh'taq #long post is long #so shooped most of it under a cut #might do a separate pictures-only post of em #but i like em inline with the text that goes with each bit #kluh'taq pestered me to write the continuation because what he IS is very very lawful #so while he doesn't regret the outcome he definitely regrets his actions #but thrice tested and thrice forgiven #so all is water under the bridge now

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sincerelyasomebody · 4 years

Text

For This Moment || Jose "Sad Eyes" Guzman

(GIF Credit: @merakiaes)

A/N: Grammatical errors are expected, took a few days to write this. Kept getting distracted. Added background-ish info on Sad Eyes. Tried to mix in what has been mentioned on the show and what I came up with. Please let me know if changes need to be made with the Spanish translations.

Pairing(s): Sad Eyes x Reader

Summary: Everything happens for a reason.

Warnings: fluff, friendzone(d), language,

Word Count: 2716

- ♤ - ♡ - ◇ - ♧ -

The sheer joy on the children's faces and the sound of their laughter, as they watched Principal Nichols be dunked in a water tank, was definitely going to be a highlight for this year's Freeridge Elementary Fun Fair. (Y/N) cheered with them as he was met with a pie to the face, exiting the tank, from his wife Lois. She laughed when a few of her colleagues ambushed the pair with silly string.

A great way to officially declare the fair to be open.

(Y/N) maneuvered her way through the crowd, saying quick 'hello's to the parents of her students, and walked up the pathway leading into the school hall. The space had been split into two areas – hers was the booth of prizes with Kira and Lyall, the music teachers. Instead of the multiple game booths having their own set prizes, winners of the games would be given a token. The amount of tokens won equated to what kind of prize you could get. On the other side of the hall was face painting which Rachel, David and Connor, all fifth grade teachers, were in charge of. This would be (Y/N)'s first time in charge of a booth and she was bubbling with excitement. As a past pupil of the elementary, she was happy to know that the fun fair was still going. Only this time more planning, effort and funding was put into it. The hall was beginning to fill up with those wanting to get their face painted, so she decided to look at the classroom photos from the past hung up on the walls. It didn't take long to spot the familiar second-grade classroom photo that hung up in her parents house. Her eyes scanned through the faces until they landed on the boy in the black button up shirt, khaki shorts and scuffed up shoes; Jose Guzman.

A boy she hadn't really thought much of when the school year started. Until an incident involving both of them allowed an interaction to occur.

Mr Macks (a college student on placement) tried to entertain the students, while their teacher Mrs Robin left to do some photocopying, but it was proving to be difficult. Even more so when he stepped in to deal with a scuffle between three students. He sent them to the reading nook at the back of the class, with the message that Mrs Robin would talk to them when she got back. Then he focused his attention on the rest of the class.

(Y/N) held the drawing of her Poppa's garden, scribbled over with a marker, tightly to her chest as she sat beside the window. Bobby sat next to the library shelf, with his arms folded, and Jose sat in the space between them with legos in his hands.

All three of them knew they were trouble, they just didn't know how much trouble they were in.

"Bobby's a shithead," Jose whispered.

(Y/N)'s eyes widened, "that's a bad word!" She looked over at Mr. Macks who continued to read to the class, "you're gonna get in more trouble!"

"Are you gonna tell on me?"

"No." He gave her a nod, "good."

"Okay if I don't tell on you, you can't tell on me."

"Why would I tell on you?"

She looked at Bobby, "because he's not a shithead, he's an asshole."

They stared at each other for a moment before bursting into giggles, their hands quickly covering their mouths. However, this caught the attention of Bobby, who glared at the pair, "you're not allowed to talk."

"You're not allowed to talk," mocked Jose, "shut up, asshole."

(Y/N) giggled and looked over at Bobby's face, "yeah, shut your face shithead."

"Your mama played you when she put that big ass bow on your head," (Y/N) turned around and was met with a smirk, "Lyla teased you the whole day."

Jose 'Sad Eyes' Guzman.

No longer the boy in the picture, but a man.

"I had a sore head and she got a bleeding nose," responded (Y/N) with a shrug.

Before he could reply, (Y/N) was called back over to her booth. A line had formed and those waiting were getting antsy. She gave her old friend a smile and then dashed back to where she was stationed. Quickly checking over the prizes and helping those in front of her choose what they wanted. When (Y/N) had been offered a job at her old elementary, she immediately packed up her life in San Diego and moved back to Freeridge. Despite San Diego being her home all throughout college and two years post graduation, Freeridge would always hold a special place in her heart. Upon returning she had moved into an apartment a few blocks away from the school and also her parents home. Moving back felt different, but a good kind of different. She was surprised that the interaction with Sad Eyes (she was unsure if she had a right to call him by his government name) wasn't awkward, considering the way their last interaction had ended. But, (Y/N) concluded that they had both grown since then.

Exchanging tokens for prizes, chatting with some more parents (mostly discussing their child/ren's progress) and grabbing more prizes from behind the stage was beginning to take a toll on the woman. Thankfully, the fair was almost over - just another hour or so, before the staff and parent helpers would pack everything up. With the prize booth looking a bit empty, she decided to take a walk.

"I'll be back to help pack up," she told Lyall and smirked when his focus was on Kira, talking to a group of her students, "ask her out."

He gave her an eye roll, "get outta here." With a laugh, she moved in front of the booth and walked out of the hall. A bouncy castle on the front field caught her attention, but she stayed away from it when she noticed the clown printed on the front. She followed the smell of (food) which brought her to the junior courtyard of the school. Buying herself two and a (drink), she sat herself down at an empty table. She ate and drank, enjoying the somewhat peaceful atmosphere. Her eyes scanned her surroundings and just happened to land on Sad Eyes. She stood up when she noticed he was cradling his hand in the other. Catalina, his sister, walking beside him. She threw her rubbish away and walked up to them.

"What happened?"

He shook his head, "nothing, I'm fine."

Catalina scoffed, "dumbass punched the button for Oso to be dunked and now it's most likely bruised," she then smiled at (Y/N), "lookin' good, chica." She then nudged her brother, "tell her she looks good, idiota."

Laughing, (Y/N) shook her head, "thanks, Lina, I'll take it from here." She was met with a smile and nod, before the young woman walked off. (Y/N) gestured for him to follow her. They walked into the front office and made a right turn into the sick bay. (Y/N) had him sit on one of the bunks. Gently taking his hand into hers, she looked it over, "it's not swelling up, so it doesn't appear that anything's broken, probably bruised like Lina said." She turned around and grabbed an ice-pack from the refrigerator, wrapping it in a towel and placed it on the hand, "here you go."

He smiled at her, "thanks bubs."

The sound of her old nickname mixed with the situation at hand, caused a reminiscent wave to wash over her.

"I guess it's official," (Y/N) gently placed the cloth wrapped ice-pack on Jose's shoulder, "congrats, how do you feel?"

Gently laying back on the couch, he winced as another ice-pack was placed on his stomach, "siento que me voy a desmayer." "

"Jose."

He laughed, but quickly stopped, "mierda!" (Y/N) handed over the ibuprofen and a cup of water. Gulping it down quickly, he handed the empty cup back, "I was kidding."

She snatched the cup and put it on the coffee table, "better be… but you feel any different?"

"I guess the only difference is that I know my Ma and Lina will be taken care of if anything happens to me."

(Y/N) flicked his forehead, "don't say shit like that," smirking she looked at him, "Mama G's gonna kick your ass."

"She's gonna kick both our asses," he looked at her, "I got jumped in and you skipped a day," a smirk appeared on his face, "not a good look on your college application, Miss (L/N)." "

"Shut up."

He reached out and squeezed her hand, "kidding, bubs, you'll be accepted in whatever college you want."

"You think so?"

"With your grades, extra curricular activities and the recommendation letters you're gonna get? Kind of hard not too," he replied, "but, you've got time until the application process."

She nodded, "yeah," shifting on the couch, she smiled, "so, have you got a street name?"

"Yeah."

Looking at him expectantly, "well, what is it?"

"Sad Eyes."

(Y/N) gave him a smile, "no worries, Sad Eyes."

He sighed, "Sad Eyes?"

"It's your name," she pointed out and gently removed her hand from his, "you can stay in here, but I've gotta help with the pack up." Just as she stepped back, he got to his feet, "Sad Eyes just –"

"Jose, (Y/N)," he cut her off, "okay? Not Sad Eyes."

"Everyone else calls –"

"You're not everyone else, bubs." His eyes locked with the (colour) orbs, he was familiar with, "when it comes to you, I'm Jose."

"Alright, then, Jose," she laughed when he gave her a goofy grin, "you staying here or what?"

He walked through the door, "let's pack some shit up."

She followed after him. The junior courtyard was filled with parents and teachers alike packing up the tables and chairs. They made small talk along the way. Entering through the side doors, she hurried over to help Lyall take down the leftover prizes and place them into boxes. Anything that was in good condition would be kept for next year's fun fair. Kira carried the boxes onto the stage. (Y/N) took over sweeping the hall with Rachel because David and Connor were using the brooms as swords. Jose tried to help, but (Y/N) didn't want him to injure his hand even more. Her coworkers didn't seem bothered with having a Santos member in close proximity. Once everything was cleaned and packed away, Kira and Lyall made their way to the staffroom where a lunch was held to say thank you to the staff and parents for their help.

(Y/N) decided to opt out of the lunch, when Connor, David and Kira joined the pair and asked if she was coming along. Parent-Teacher conferences were coming up soon and she wanted to make sure her classroom was all set up for it. As it was her first official year teaching (after graduation she worked as a learning support member to gain a bit more experience 'cause she felt she needed to do more groundwork) she wanted to make sure it was presentable.

"It doesn't look like anything's changed," commented Jose, as he followed (Y/N) into their old second-grade classroom, and put his ice-pack on her desk.

She laughed, "yeah, just a few things to keep up with the new generation," she walked over to the reading nook, "remember this?"

This time he laughed, "how could I forget? Bobby was and still is an asshole and a shithead," he shook his head, "can't believe Mrs Robin made us write him apology letters, even when he was the one who started the whole fight."

"He was her favourite," replied (Y/N), as she rearranged a few books, "but, I didn't mind 'cause I made a new friend that day."

A silence fell between the duo, but she didn't think anything of it. She moved through the classroom straightening up things as she passed by. Jose watched her and couldn't help but smile. He couldn't deny that he missed her when she moved away for college. Being involved with the gang allowed him to be a part of a brotherhood and he was so caught up in it that he didn't recognise that he was pushing her away.

Until it was too late.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N)."

She immediately stopped what she was doing and turned around, "what?" Realising what he was apologising for, she shook her head, "Jose it's fine. It was years ago."

"That doesn't make it okay," he replied, "if I could go back and fix everything, I would."

(Y/N) stuffed her hands into the pockets of her jacket, staring at the Santos party across the street. She watched as the party-goers laughed and danced to the music. Her heart sank at the sight of Jose with his arm wrapped around a girl. Spooky noticed her and shouted, "(Y/N)!" With the call of her name, Jose looked up. He quickly got up from where he was and walked to where she stood, a bright smile on his face.

"Are you gonna stand there or come and join the party?" he laughed.

She bit her bottom lip, "no… I just – uh, Lina told me where you would be," her eyes drifted over to the party and then back to him, "after we waited for an hour for you to show up."

His eyebrows furrowed, "show up for what?"

"My birthday dinner," (Y/N) explained, "just finished actually, the celebratory mood kinda died when Lina let it slip that Spooky was also throwing a party," she kicked at the curb, "not a surprise that your priorities have changed, but it doesn't mean it hurts any less."

"(Y/N) I –"

"I get it. But, it wasn't just a birthday dinner you missed. It was the fact that I announced that I'm graduating," she blinked back the tears, "at the top of my class. And, I wanted to make sure everyone that helped me along the way knew how much they meant to me, you know? It fucking sucked 'cause the one who has always supported my venture outside of Freeridge promised they'd never switch up… and then switched up."

Jose moved to hug her, but she held up her hands. He watched as she wiped her eyes and looked at him with her (colour) eyes. The (colour) eyes that always allowed him to know what she was feeling, when the words didn't leave her mouth.

"(Y/N) –"

"Whatever, enjoy the rest of your night, Sad Eyes."

And with that, she walked off.

"Unfortunately, time travel hasn't been invented yet, so you can't go back. But, that's okay." She stepped towards him, "I wouldn't want you too. I'm sorry as well. For ignoring all of your calls. If I could go back, I would pick up every single one and answer." She wrapped her arms around him, "I missed you, Jose."

He kissed her head, "I missed you too, (Y/N).

They held each other close. Jose rubbed his hands up and down her back, loving the feeling of having her back in his arms. (Y/N) breathed in his scent and squeezed him tighter. She listened to the rhythmn of his heart, before stepping back to look at him. He smiled at her, hands still caressing her back.

All of a sudden the atmosphere shifted.

His hands wandered down to her waist giving it a gentle squeeze, while hers gently gripped his arms. Slowly, their faces inched towards each other until their lips touched. Jose trailed up a hand to the back of her head to deepen the kiss, (Y/N) happily accepted it, hands moving to wrap around his neck.

"Been wanting to do that since you punched Bobby in the face," he commented once they broke apart.

"That's interesting, 'cause I've wanted to do that since you poured the bucket of legos over his head."

Jose kissed her nose, forehead touching hers, "gotta be some full circle kinda shit, querida."

"Yeah, it's gotta be," (Y/N) replied and pulled him back in for a kiss.

- ♤ - ♡ - ◇ - ♧ -

Spanish Translation(s):

Chica - girl

Idiota - idiot

Siento que me voy a desmayer - I feel like I'm going to pass out

Mierda - shit

Querida - honey

#sad eyes #sad eyes guzman #sad eyes x reader #sad eyes guzman x reader #x reader #reader insert #onmyblock #onmyblockfanfiction #los santos #freeridge #sincerelyasomebody

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nothingbutfangirlsmut · 4 years

Text

The Maze Trials: A Gally Fanfiction

Pairing: Gally x Emi(OC)

Summary: Emi, first girl the Glade has seen. Tougher than she looks and more than ready to prove it. Since day one her and Gally have been at each other's throats. Fighting constantly and not just with their words.

(Gally fanfiction which will include smut. It also has an actual story line. Think of it as an AU to the original Maze Runner. It'll mostly follow the main story line with some changes. Mostly focusing on Emi and Gally and their relationship.)

Chapter Seven

I stood in the center of my hole just staring at the only entrance or exit. This is absolutely ridiculous.

How long am I gonna be locked in here?

I couldn't see Gally in the next hole over but I could hear him. He was mumbling angrily. The only words I could make out every now and then was 'shank' or some variation of 'klunk'.

I haven't figured out what 'shank' means yet but I'm pretty sure I've got 'klunk' figured out.

"You done mumbling yet?" I decided to ask loud enough for Gally to hear me.

"What is your problem? It's like your trying to piss me off with every word that leaves your mouth." Gally said angrily.

"I don't have to try very hard. Plus it's become quite funny to piss you off." I chuckled lightly.

"What the shuck is wrong with you?" He asked in what sounded like disbelief.

"Oh come on. You know it's funny. It's like I piss you off just cause I'm a girl." I was smiling even though he couldn't see it.

"That's not it" he grumbled barely loud enough for me to hear.

"Then please tell me what it is? You can't possibly be that delicate. Is it because I don't back down from you like the others? Or maybe because I can actually beat you in a fight."

"You haven't actually beat me in a fight." He answered quickly.

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Oh I see, bruised ego. Don't like not being the big bad wolf anymore?" I knew I wasn't helping but I just couldn't stop myself.

This time he didn't answer. My smile faded as I listened to the silence for a few minutes.

"In all seriousness, can I tell you something?" I asked thinking back to my dream again.

After a few more moments of silence I heard him let out a deep sigh.

"Yea sure" was all he said.

"I keep having this weird feeling we've fought like this before. It just feels so familiar. Something about you is familiar." I said slowly trying to explain how I felt.

"Really? I thought I was losing my mind. I just kept getting that deja vu feeling repeatedly." He said calmly.

"So you gonna tell me why your so snappy with me then?" I asked again but more calm this time.

He sighed again.

"For that reason I think. Like I said I thought I was losing my mind. It made me mad to think you were making that happen. I was fine till you showed up." He snapped a little near the end of his sentence.

"Can we make a deal?" I asked leaning against the wall near his side.

"Depends on the deal." He answered simply.

"Since we both know that we both are having the familiar feeling we don't have to think we are losing our minds. I won't show you up in a fight anymore unless you want me to. But let's keep the rough banter. I like it. Just make it more playful than serious."

I waited intently for his answer. All I heard was silence and the occasional howl of a griever lurking in the maze. I thought he wasn't going to answer.

"Fine but one more thing." He spoke sounding like he was standing right next to me.

"When we get out of here take a walk with me away from the others." He spoke quietly.

I chuckled nodding before I remembered he couldn't see me.

"Sure as long as you don't pull anything like Minho did." I chuckled not thinking much of it.

"What?" Gally asked sharply.

"Minho asked me to go for a walk. When we were away from everyone else he kissed me. I didn't let it get farther than that though even though that's what he was trying for before I shut it down." I explained nonchalantly.

"Minho kissed you?" Gally asked roughly.

Why did he sound like he was getting mad? Why does that bother him?

"Yea that's what I just said." I rolled my eyes.

"That shank. I knew he had a thing for you and he lied straight to my face." Gally hissed obviously more to himself than me but I heard it.

"What? You talked to him about me?" I questioned smirking.

"I'm going to sleep." He stated simply.

It wasn't long after those words that I heard him snoring softly. I made myself as comfortable as I could on the cold ground. I really hope they let us out of here tomorrow.

___

"Everyone knows Minho has a crush on you. How did you not know?" A squeaky voiced Newt asked.

"I don't know" I shrugged staring down at my hands in my lap.

"Probably because she's too hung up on Gally to notice anyone else." A girl cooed leaning into me.

"Oh shut it" I laughed pushing her away.

"Her and Gally are just friends though. Right?" Newt said looking between me and the girl.

"I think so" I said simply.

"Yea for now but just you wait. I know they'll end up together when we are older. I can already see it the way they fight and bicker all the time." The girl next to me laughed.

___

I jolted awake from my dream. Why does that keep happening? Who was that other girl? Why do I get the feeling these aren't actually dreams?

"Wakey wakey shanks" Newt called out loudly to both of us.

I pulled myself up to get closer to the blonde. I heard Gally groaning and grumbling about being woken up.

"You two resolve your issues?" He asked looking between my hole and Gally's.

"I think so" I said softly.

"Yea yea, now get us out of here Newt I'm starving." Gally grumbled.

Newt looked over to me for reassurance. I could tell from the look on his face he wanted to make sure we were telling the truth.

"Seriously Newt we're good." I said with a small smile.

"Alright but if you two go at each other again I'm tossing you both in the same hole for a week." Newt warned.

He quickly opened both of our cages. Gally helped himself out while Newt moved to pull me out. I looked at Gally for the first time since our agreement. Man, I wanted to say something too but I knew now wasn't the time.

Instead I extended my hand to him to show Newt we were being honest. He smirked at me then clamped his hand around mine. He shook it roughly causing me to loose my balance. I almost face planted into the dirt but Gally grabbed me causing me to fall against him instead of the ground.

"Thanks big bad wolf" I smiled then patted his chest.

"You're welcome princess" he smirked down at me then let me go.

"I think I liked it better when you were at each other's throats. This is just weird now." Newt commented before walking away.

I chuckled then playfully pushed Gally away from me. I jogged to catch up to Newt wrapping my arm around his. He didn't seem to mind the contact.

"What did you two talk about?" Newt asked quietly as we stood in line for our food.

"Honestly, not that much but we did strike a deal." I smiled thinking back to it.

"A deal?" Newt questioned raising a brow at me.

I just nodded then stepped up to take my tray from Fry who I thanked as always. I followed Newt over to our regular table with the normal people sitting there. Minho was stuffing his mouth full while Clint and Jeff laughed at him.

I sat down between Minho and Newt. Minho nudged me playfully with his shoulder then smiled at me with a mouth full of food. I couldn't help but laugh at him. I guess Newt was right. He seems to be cheery again.

—

#nothingbutfangirlsmut #the maze trials #the maze runner #tmr gally #gally imagine #gally smut #gally #gally x reader #original character #fanfiction

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aelaer · 5 years

Text

Whumptober 30: Recovery

I did say at the beginning of this series that Endgame was sorta… not really paid attention to. So yeah, same mantra.

Direct sequel (and conclusion!) to all of these:

Part 1: Shackled Part 2: Bound Part 3: Winded Part 4: Muffled Scream Part 5: Beaten

If you’ve been able to read the rest of the series without any of the warnings being an issue, then yeah, this’ll be fine. Just minor canon-typical violence.

30. Recovery

The world exploded into a series of reds, whites, purples, and blacks that blinded his sight and made him shut his eyes at the dizzying cacophony. It was accompanied by the sound of pulsing energy, explosive fire, and cracked stone, and beyond all that there were shouts of surprise and chaos.

When Stephen dared open his eyes again, the abominable horror reaching out from the inky darkness, ready to tear into him and consume him, was gone. He squeezed his eyes shut once more, then opened them yet again; yes, it was really gone. The portal was broken, the ritual interrupted by gold and red streaks, loud sounds, and figures he couldn't quite make out in his current state.

A small part of his mind wondered if this was an illusion by the eldritch abomination that had entered his mind. It was very possible; with such timing, it did seem a little too good to be true. That would be a very good nightmare, and he knew such beings were certainly capable. Was this one? It probably could do something like that, but it seemed more of the world-exploding type of demon rather than something so personable. It had, however, singled him out by name across the multiverse...

Stephen slowly shook his head out of his rambling thoughts. He needed to pay attention in case this wasn't an illusion or fever dream or anything of the sort. There were definitely people fighting, that much was obvious. Definitely Kamar-Taj sorcerers, and quite a few of them at that. That red stuff… that was Wanda Maximoff. She used Chaos Magic, didn't she? He wondered if she would be willing to let him study her abilities a bit more, after all this… but wait, Maximoff. Avengers? Would the Avengers really bother with him? This wasn't even Earth.

Mmm, world-ending, though. He did say that to Wong, didn't he? Wong didn't like the name, either (and now it was a name Stephen refused to directly think about in his head, not after seeing the demonic creature); now he understood Wong's horror. Was the powerful demon still in his head? All this truly could just be an illusion perpetrated by the entity to give him a false hope before ending his miserable life—

"Doctor Strange," a soft voice said behind him, and it caused him to startle (and jerk his wrists, which really hurt, dear fuck, how hard had he tugged at the ropes?). "It's Natasha Romanoff. Clint and I are getting you out of here."

He wasn't quite sure what he should say, at least when he could speak again. 'Thank you' seemed rather inadequate. Would asking them to prove they were real be too rude?

Before he could think of a good answer, the ropes at both wrists were cut and oh God it was agony, absolute agony, and he didn't even try to catch himself. Thankfully two sets of hands caught him before he completely did a faceplant on the stone altar (and in his own blood— that was a surprising amount of blood). They maneuvered him to the back of the altar, away from the explosions and colors and shouting. Clint was taking off the awful, awful gag as Natasha said into an earpiece, "Need a portal."

Wait, no, there was still fighting going on. "Need to help," Stephen murmured the moment he could speak.

"You need to sit tight until we get you into the medbay," Clint retorted.

He opened his mouth to argue, but suddenly Wong was there, just a few feet away. He blinked at him, but Wong was already forming a portal in between himself and the small group. Before Stephen could say anything, his friend pushed it towards them.

Oh. This must by the so-called medbay. It smelled very much like a medbay. They were still sitting on the floor, though now Natasha and Clint were trying to pull him to his feet and truth be told, Stephen really didn't feel like walking.

Everything hurt. He let the two of them support him as he took a deep breath. When he looked up, he was being ushered into a room by nurses and doctors he didn't recognize. They started asking questions, talking, and fuck it, no matter if this was an illusion or reality, he wasn't going to just stand by as they talked about his state over him.

"Hypovolemic, but not in shock," he interrupted one of the nurses as he was helped to lay on his uninjured stomach upon the bed. "Well… maybe mild shock at most. Definitely not— didn't lose over thirty percent. Didn't hit arteries." It was just the back; there were many more deadlier places to bleed from. He'd seen more lost blood in the ER time and again. He was fine.

Well, mostly fine.

So long as this wasn't an illusion, that is. He looked at his surroundings as they started the initial work on him. The tech was more advanced than he was used to at the Metro-General, but not so alien that it was completely incomprehensible. Natasha and Clint were in the corner of the large room, saying… something he couldn't hear. That made sense with the distance and the noise around him. So that was good, okay. At some point the staff got him hooked up to an IV, oximeter, and a sensor he wasn't familiar with for his other vitals. Something from Wakanda, perhaps… that was also a good sign. Good signs.

Stephen slowly began to relax, a sensation which only increased when some sort of painkiller hit his system. It wasn't a heavy opioid, but it turned the flaming pain into something that felt more like a sting than anything and he could work with that. They applied topical painkillers as they cleaned out and sutured his cuts shut, as well.

"Y'know I could just heal it with magic," he mumbled when Clint and Natasha came to his bedside.

"All your good sorcerer healing buddies are fighting," Clint said cheerfully. "I've never seen such a dangerous looking LARP group in my life."

"Hah," he mumbled. "Good precaution, though; there's a lot of them… the occultists."

"Yeah, we saw," Natasha pointed out. "The good news is that we had enough people between your guys and us to keep them all occupied while we found you and snuck you out. You were very easy to find, though."

Stephen made a face, and it wasn't at the work they were doing on his back (and now his wrists, which was proving to definitely sting). "You interrupted… at a good time." He swallowed. "The nick of time. It was… close."

Clint crossed his arms. "Wong was saying something about a world-eating entity. I'd call bullshit, but, well… maybe I'd have called bullshit ten years ago, is what I'm saying."

Natasha shot him a brief look of amusement. "What he's trying to ask is if it was that bad."

"It was that bad," he answered immediately. "I've… I've only encountered such immense power once."

"Thanos?" she asked.

"No, not Thanos."

Clint made a face. "Yeah, your job sucks, Doc."

"It's usually not this bad," he mumbled. "I get to do magic, after all."

"We all have bad days," Natasha reassured him. "We're going to let the doctors finish patching you up, Doctor Strange. I expect others are going to come see how you're doing as soon as they're finished up with those occultists."

Stephen mumbled an affirmative and closed his eyes as the two left him to the doctors and nurses.

—————

About two hours later, an impressive crowd came into his room.

"Hey Doc, look, I brought flowers," Tony said in greeting, lifting up the genuinely ugliest bouquet of flowers Stephen had ever seen in his life.

"You brought me a bunch of thistles," he said slowly.

"Well, yeah. You know, for a speedy recovery, good health, protection, and the other things these flowers are supposed to mean." He shrugged and placed them on the counter beside the bed.

Stephen wasn't anywhere near an expert on flower meanings, but he was pretty sure that was not what thistles meant at all. "Who told you that?"

Tony nodded his head towards Wong, and Wong, bastard that he was, kept his face completely and utterly stoic. But the bastard had not only helped rescue him, but had also brought the cloak; the cloak had already swept past the group and circled Stephen before settling across the hospital bed.

In the background, Rhodey was checking something on his phone and shooting Wong a knowing look while Wanda and Vision remained wisely out of the whole flower conversation.

Stephen cleared his throat. "Right, well, thanks. Is everyone okay?"

"For the most part," Tony answered. "A couple nasty cuts, but nothing life-threatening. Worst part was probably whatever Sam was cursed with while pushing one of your guys out of the way."

"Minoru appreciates the gesture, but he shouldn't have done it," Wong said.

Rhodey made a face. "Did you see the size of that blue flamey thing coming at her? Sam can handle it."

"Sam's going to be in Kamar-Taj for the next week recovering from the side effects," Wong retorted.

"Sam could use a vacation," Vision said, speaking for the first time.

This conversation was getting a bit ridiculous. "Okay, I'm glad that for the most part no one was badly hurt," Stephen said. "I appreciate the news, but uh, I don't think I needed five of you to tell me that."

Wanda smiled. "We're here to see how you are doing, Doctor Strange. We were worried about you."

Oh. He paused as he processed that. He was ninety-five percent certain that it wasn't an illusion before, but now he was definitely certain because he didn't think either his mind would have come up with that, and the eldritch entity would definitely have not come up with the thistles.

That was a real relief. Though these people, some only acquaintances, wanting to see him at all he found a bit mind-boggling.

Tony boggled him further when he said, "And it's only five because even we have to listen to the doctors here when they say only five of us can visit at once."

Stephen slightly shook his head. "And, what, you five pushed yourselves to the front of the queue?"

"Hah," Tony retorted. "Vision could just phase through. But nah, they," he gestured to the other four, "were the real MVPs of that fight. Wong contacted us and got things going, of course. Rhodey got S.H.I.E.L.D. off Wong's back in the way he does best, Wanda's magic did something with the portal that I'm not even going to try to make sense of, and Vision figured out he could block people from being hit with those weird blue flamey things with his Mind Stone Version 2.0."

It wasn't anything resembling one of the Infinity Stones, of course, but that didn't stop Tony's ridiculous naming conventions. Stephen shot an amused look at Vision's expression, then asked the engineer, "And you?"

"Well, I brought you flowers, of course."

He snorted, then looked from him to Wong and Wanda. "Even if Tony doesn't want to know about Wanda's magic, I do. What happened?"

Wanda gestured to Wong to explain, and he answered, "From what I could tell, the portal was made from the elements of some sort of Chaos Magic, though those exact mechanisms I've not seen in our reality. It would have taken us some time to dismantle it, but as her magic branches from Chaos Magic as well, she was able to break it apart in something less than ten seconds."

Stephen saw the math; without that quick dismantling, he would have been gone before anyone had a chance to get to him. It was quite possible that the entity may have even been able to sustain the portal's opening once it was finished with him. "You saved my life," he told her.

She shook her head. "Oh, no, it was a group effort. There were many occultists there."

"No, what I mean is, the—" He swallowed at the memory, then pressed forward, "the thing was reaching for me when everything exploded in color and noise."

"The explosions were probably Tony and me," Rhodey admitted. "Sam too, come to think of it."

"They were very good distractions," Vision said.

"Regardless," Stephen continued, "It was reaching for me. The portal was far from it, but it had an endless— an endless uh, arm of some sort. If you had not disrupted the portal, it would have taken me maybe ten, fifteen seconds later."

A brief silence fell over the group. Wanda looked a bit stunned.

"So, uh, good timing on our part, then," Tony commented.

Stephen swallowed. "Yeah. Very good." He looked down at his hands and bandaged wrists, then at the cloak lying quietly and patiently. He didn't have his sling ring, of course, but now that Wong was here…

As he started to get out of bed, Rhodey said, "Hey, where are you going?"

He stared at the colonel. "Back with Wong? I don't have my sling ring so I needed to wait for him."

"The doctors want to keep you overnight," Tony pointed out.

Stephen rolled his eyes. "What, to monitor? I'm fine; see, blood pressure's back to normal, oxygen levels normal, heart rate normal. It was not nearly enough blood loss to worry about."

Wong gave him an even look. "You need rest and time to recover, Stephen."

"Yeah, and I can recover in my own bed or even the Kamar-Taj infirmary just as well as I can here."

"The moment you get back to either, you're going to immediately see how Mr Wilson's faring. We both know that the moment you see him, you'll throw yourself in study to see if you can help him recover faster."

"I—"

"Don't even try to argue that you wouldn't."

And now everyone else in the room was smirking in various degrees; even the android looked vaguely amused. Stephen frowned at all of them.

"Fine, I'll stay overnight for monitoring. But at sunrise, you— or anyone else from Kamar-Taj— need to come and pick me up."

"In the morning," was Wong's infuriating answer.

"Sunrise."

"Maybe after breakfast," Wong mused aloud.

Stephen glowered at him.

"Doctors really do make the worst patients," Tony quipped.

"I'm ready for the next group of well-wishers, now," was Stephen's answer. Tony laughed and made his way to the door. As the others followed him out, Stephen called, "Miss Maximoff?" She lingered at the door, and after the others left, he said, "Thank you. Truly."

She offered a small smile. "I am more than happy to help you, Doctor Strange. I know you would do the same for me."

"Stephen, please," he said. "I was actually hoping, if you would allow it, to study your magic further. I can offer you my own expertise, or any knowledge from the library at the New York Sanctum and most of Kamar-Taj, in return."

Her smile widened. "I think that could be of help to us both."

He inclined his head. "That is my thought as well. Chaos Magic is not heavily practiced in Kamar-Taj and it could be a valuable learning experience for us."

"And I know I could learn much from your order. I was amazed at the magics I saw performed yesterday by so many different people. I would love to."

"Great," he said, smiling.

Wanda nodded, then paused. "But only after you are fully recovered!"

Stephen groaned as she left the room with a chuckle.

#whumptober2019 #no.30 #recovery #doctor strange #stephen strange #tony stark #wong #james rhodes #vision #wanda maximoff #avengers fanfiction #doctor strange fanfic #clint barton #natasha romanoff

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k-i-s-m-e-t · 6 years

Note

So I've been watching soldiers returning home and surprising their family videos (cause I like to torture myself apparently) and I can't get the image of GSs dad getting out of prison and surprising him. And GS just completely loses it. T.T

H-hey anon, I can’t even remember how long ago you sent me this. Though I assume it was after the chapter where we see Guan Shan’s dad. I have a really good reason for the delay! I wrote you something cuz I loved the idea so much. I’m not sure you meant ‘lose it’ in this sense *sips drink*

It wasn’t right. Shit, it wasn’t fair! Guan Shan shook with emotion as he stared-down the man seated on his living room couch.

School had been exhausting, not so much the work but rather the implications behind a certain someone that stuck to him like glue. He rubbed at his neck, still plagued by the phantom press of an arm that easily swung around his shoulders, playful but possessive.

Deep in thought, he’d been halfway to his bedroom when a voice spoke his name, barely more than a whisper and filled with emotion. Two words that froze him where he stood, his mind reeling because it wasn’t possible. It was surprising he could even recognize that voice after so long, it was still warm, still firm, low and gravely.

Backing up slowly he’d moved to stand in the doorway of the living room trying to comprehend what had to be illusion that sat pressed close to mother’s side. She had her hands folded within this entities like it was a natural, everyday thing, as if time hadn’t kept them apart.Her cheeks were tear stained, dried rivulets that cracked as she beamed up at him. She reached out with her other hand, index finger and thumb streaked with the black of her mascara, and gestured for him to join them.When he didn’t move, her gaze flitted around in anticipation, bright smile faltering at the mounting silence. Guan Shan stared back blankly, could feel himself closing off, like he was being swallowed whole, like he was underwater. The small part of him that pleaded “why?,” to “reconsider” his next words was shoved down and he let his heart speak.

“What is he doing here?”

It sounded unnecessarily loud, his voice cracking on the question. Tension in the room bred with a vengeance and he could almost see the rift his words cut.

“Guan Shan!” his mother said sharply, eyes narrowing, but his father held up a hand.

“I know this is unexpected, I wasn’t sure my early release would be approved so I didn’t want to tell you and your mother in case it was declined, but please know that I’m very happy to see you.”He smiled.

Mo didn’t get to answer because suddenly he felt sick, his body far to warm. A sharp intake of breath broke the silence but he was not sure whose because he couldn’t see the room anymore. Shapes blurred together before him as his vision swam and breath caught, pinched high in his chest.

Panic attack.

He placed a hand over his racing heart beat to confirm, brain reaching desperately to heap together coherent thoughts. What did he do last time?

His father was on his feet now, face creased with concern as he stepped closer. Guan Shan stumbled back, catching the corner of the doorway square between his shoulders, leaving him winded, doubled over.

“Get… back!” he forced out.

“Guan Shan please, what’s wrong?”

“…son?” A hand reached for him, a touch that for years he’d yearned to feel but he jerked away, banging back out through their front door, the hurt look in his father’s eyes fading the faster he ran.

He moved blindly down their block, a car horn blared, tires screeching as he dodged across the street, cutting down an alley. Distance was the goal, not direction, the more space he could put between him and his father the easier this would be to deal with.

However, his retreat ended when he slipped, fell, dew-wet grass shocking his senses. He laid there a moment trying to calm his breathing before raising his head to take in his surroundings.

The basketball court.

Struggling to his feet he made for the nearest hoop, a beacon half-illuminated in the cast-off light of a street lamp. Collapsing beneath it, he folded his body, arms looped beneath his thighs, head hung between his spaced knees.

The position eased the tense pull of his muscles and the pain in his chest relaxed a fraction. It was better, but he still felt panicked, tiny and vulnerable to these current revelations.

What did he do last time?It took effort but he worked his cell phone out of his pocket, dialed.It rang once, mid-way through ring two the line clicked.“Well, well, well, to what do I owe the pleasure?”Mo could hear his own breath rasp into the receiver as he struggled for words.“Where are you?“ The response was clipped. He could hear a set of keys being snatched up.“…B-basketball… court.”“I’ll be there.” The line died.

He let his hand drop, focused on breathing. In. Out.

Within minutes a hand fell on his shoulder, startling him out of his trance. He Tian peered down at him, taking in his disheveled appearance. Some brief realization flickered in his eyes and they softened in a way that was familiar but overwhelming, that meant something, when he was trying so hard to be insignificant.

He stepped back as Mo rose to his feet by this time his heart rate was just about even but each breath felt like it was on the verge of erupting into tears.

He shook his head, clearing it. When he looked back He Tian he was still watching him, expression unreadable.

Mo opened his mouth but He Tian beat him to it.

“So,” he started, pulling his shirt over his head “First to 10?”

He Tian dribbled in place, legs switching, ball weaving easily between them.

Guan Shan followed suit, stripped off his uniform shirt, tossed it to the side.

“You’re… not gonna ask what happened?”

He Tian slowed his pace, shrugged.

“You don’t want to talk about. That’s not why you asked me to come here is it?”

“I… no it’s not.”

“So,” he bounced the ball, caught it, passed it forcefully to Mo, quick fluid motion.“Your ball.”

Mo caught it evenly, the weight of it thudding against his palms.

“Alright, first to 10.”

By the time he returned home he was drained of all emotion, having sweated it out at the court. Numb, he was ready to collapse in bed, real life could wait till tomorrow. However, walking up the steps to their front door he braced himself for the inevitable, not knowing what to expect as his mom hadn’t called him at all in his absence. Ear pressed up against the door, he listened carefully trying to catch a hint of any sound or movement -but there was nothing. As late as it was, they’d probably already gone to bed. Easing his key into the lock he opened the door slowly, sucked his teeth when it still creaked obnoxiously. It was dark inside, though he could hear the muted sounds of the TV coming from his mother’s… his parent’s room, soft blue light flickering under their door.

Sighing in relief, he headed to the bathroom, stripped, most of his dirty clothes making it into the hamper. He flipped on the shower letting it heat up while he scrolled through his messages. Still nothing from his parents, but there was one from He Tian asking if he got home safe. He hadn’t pushed when Mo had declined the offer to walk him home, had respected his need for space.Typing out a quick reply he hit send before stepping in the shower under the spray, barely containing a moan at how good the hot water felt streaming over his sore muscles.Lost in thought, he let the water run, soaking his hair. He hadn’t seen his father in years and he hadn’t really thought about what it would be like to see him again. Hell, he hadn’t thought about it because he didn’t think it would happen period, let alone catch him unaware. Anger was his foremost thought but he knew deep down that feeling wasn’t fair even though it was justified. There was just so much the man had missed, Mo thought squeezing his eyes shut.Back in elementary the kids had teased him about the sudden absence of his father. They had concluded amongst themselves that the man had probably run off because he didn’t like Mo, because Mo was bad. He never bothered to correct them because that idea sounded better than the truth, even to him. Kids could be so cruel.“Ignore them, be the bigger person.” his mother had said pulling him into a tight embrace, her voice choked, when he came home in tears after a particularly rough day.Sure, he had misbehaved from time to time but he hadn’t seen himself as any more rambunctious than his classmates. Maybe his teacher had had to tell him to settle down more often than the others -but it was because he was eager, he wanted to participate. The validation and praise he got when he answered correctly filled some void within him, even at that age.But their constant jeering had grated on him, pushed him to the edge and he found they shut up pretty quick if he hit them, so he learned to fight. It felt like he had been fighting all his life, against them but mostly himself. It was exhausting.Now the fight was over, as if a referee had simply walked on the field of his mind and tossed out a white flag determining the match a draw. Fuck that, he deserved to have a say!They couldn’t just make up for lost time, it was unrealistic. Where had he been when Mo graduated from grade school? When he learned how to ride a bike, fucking puberty?Yeah, his mom had been there always every step of the way, filling both the role of father and mother, but there were just some things she couldn’t replace, that she didn’t quite understand.The water beginning to run cold dragged him out of his reverie and he quickly scrubbed himself down, darting in and out of the spray to rinse off. Exiting the shower he scrubbed a towel through his hair as he headed back down the corridor. At the opposite end of the hall there was still no change from his parent’s room. He felt a slight tingle of relief in his gut that he wouldn’t have to face his father just yet, a small victory. He slipped quickly into his room, then sucked in a surprised breath, heart damn near in his throat at the figure sitting on his bed.It took him a moment to realize Mo was present, so absorbed was he in looking at a photo Mo kept on his bedside table. Some framed shot of his mom and him from a sports contest in which he had won first place.He looked up when Mo awkwardly cleared his throat, quickly replacing the photo.“I…” he looked around the room like it held the answer.Guan Shan sighed and he got hurriedly to his feet, his mouth opened and shut a few times, like he was carefully choosing his words.“Guan Shan, please I just want to talk.”Mo pressed back against his door clicking it shut, leaned heavily against it.“I know.”In the dim light Mo could see pain etched in red rimmed eyes, remembered now just where his emotional side came from.They talked for hours, his father explaining what had happened that night at the restaurant and how it had resulted in his incarceration. Guan Shan asked question after question, all the why’s and how’s that had plagued him for years, his father answering all of them even those Guan Shan could tell were painful. As he unraveled the truth, Guan Shan realized he understood far less than he expected, felt that maybe there were some things he’d rather have not known. However, his father held nothing back.When they got to the details of how he’d spent his time in jail, however, he drew the line.“I’m not ready to talk about that yet.” The implications deep in his tone were enough to make Mo balk. He conceded.Light was starting to filter in through the blinds of his balcony window, a bird chirping here and there. Mo stretched, sore from the seated position he’d spent the night in.They were quiet for a bit, enjoying the silence between them.“You’ve got school right?”“Yea,” Mo answered checking the time. Damn he was already running late, he’d have to get ready quickly.“..maybe you could take a day off,” his father said slowly, as if still considering the suggestion himself. “I think we still have a lot of catching up to do.”“Mom’s probably not gonna like that.”“Who says we have to tell her,” he said a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.“Tell me what?” Came a voice from his doorway. They both jumped.“W-we.. well you see I thought-““Mm-hmm we don’t keep secrets in this house.”“I just thought that maybe Guan Shan could stay home, just for today. Maybe we could do something as a family… it’s been… it’s been a long time since we did.”“It has, hasn’t it.” She smiled sadly. “Well who is going call the school ‘cause it looks like I need to call out at the hospital. I could use a sick day,” she waved a hand “God knows I have plenty.”

Mo watched them leave, his mother hooking her arm through the crook of his father’s, he smiled fondly down at her.

Alone he laid back on his bed exhausted but content, his heart fluttering, for once not in panic.

His phone buzzed on the dresser and he reached for it, pretty good idea of who would dare text him this early.

From: He >>“You alive?”

Mo paused, thumb hovered over the key pad. Emotion stung in his throat, prickled up to his eyes as he stared at the second word.

Alive? Had the question been posed at any point before now he would have scoffed at the absurdity of it. But looking at it now, he couldn’t think of a word that summed his emotional state any better than that.

To: He >>“Yea.”

Fin.

#19 days #mo guan shan #he tian #tianshan #kis writes

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violetsystems · 2 years

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#personal

Part of the great thing about living alone is when you are woken up in the middle of the night by loud banging you can enjoy it. I've kept a lot of friends company week after week writing about my problems. I seem to have less these days mainly because I've kept to myself. The shortest path to keeping a secret is almost always keeping your mouth shut. It isn't really a secret that I quit mining Ethereum earlier this week. Almost as much as it isn't really a secret my birthday was Tuesday. The wishes were few and far between mostly because I don't have a Facebook to announce it anymore. And yet I've felt closer to some people than I have been in awhile. It's hard to write about simply because of the nature of the world and privacy. I wouldn't be a halfway decent writer if I couldn't find a way around that. Which is why I've kept in practice to write week after week to keep in contact with the people that care about. Some of the things I've written about in the past seem chaotic and strange. I'm never really sure who from the outside world bother to read these and how much of a threat to my safety that really is. Over time you worry sometimes that people are just using what you share against you. It's a bit gonzo in the traditional sense although I don't think I've really uncovered anything we can fix in the general population of things. Down here we've all created a wormhole of a different sort. Culture is something that evolves as people interact like interlocking nodes in a rhizome. How we foster and keep it safe can be difficult to parse if you aren't really in it for the long haul. I've communicated more things nonverbally on here in the last two weeks than I've ever have in real life. It isn't exactly easy but the understanding we come to seems to harden like a diamond. I like that meme about tricking the straight guy into thinking. That's exactly what happens. I stop acting so impulsively to programming and listen to the moment. I consider the source and the content and think about how I want to respond. There is nothing at all different from what we all share and these things the tech bros uplift when it comes to crypto. And yet we execute it all with such passion and mystery, it is hard not to be drawn into the maw. So much so that when someone shares content it makes me question things in my own life. What I desire. How that desire comes across. What I could do more to accept. How I can understand the sanctity of how people express their sexuality and are free to do so without someone commodifying it or trying to market it to a larger audience. The value of the secrets we all share are worth more to me than physical currency. And it requires myself as person to honor that when I spend my time here. Just as much as content might turn me on, it's nothing if it doesn't make me think, change and adapt. And that dynamic nature of how we all come together in our own personal spaces is something I try to protect dearly. It isn't something I really try to exploit. What people share with me here rarely registers with the outside world mostly because people don't really interact with me. That is unless they're trying to brandish a knife at me at the cash station while sticking their tongue out at me. Which did actually happen yesterday and it was just enough of a reminder of how delicate keeping people safe really is. Including myself.

I treat and consider a large portion of who I interact with on here a friend. I have a lot of friends. The identities of which are all over the map in interest, sexuality and voice. It's an impossible chain of inspirational people that I've always tried to find my place in. It's been much easier to voice who I am across the spectrum lately finding where we all meet. There is something intensely democratic about being able to come here and feel free. It's down here over the last few weeks talking with people I love that I came to explore some things I never really thought about until recently. Religion and what it means to me has been one of them. I was raised Christian but spent a lot of time being ridiculed, hazed, and bullied by other Christians. I developed an intense hatred to the organized mob like behavior of the holier than thou. It doesn't mean I'm not religious or spiritual. It's much more complex than that. Just like how over time with contemporary society riding off the rails, we've all come to our own understanding of what love, sex, companionship and connection mean in all of this. We come down here for a sort of sanctuary that expects us to do some heavy lifting when it comes to getting to know what is in each other's heads. And for the most part it stays down here attributed to a decentralized network of creators and individuals. This kind of space is the sort of thing that America should be good at. And yet often people from the outside seem to think this is their personal treasure trove of intelligence. The gaze exists and people look in trying to figure out clarity where there is no right to know. I've been on here for an impossible amount of years and slowly met some of the most inspirational and motivating people. I've also had the privilege to be left alone enough to keep all these secrets to myself. I have enjoyed people's company for who they are at the very soul. And over the last few weeks I've had space to let that in further. It's hard to communicate what that means to me and not at the same time. The phone lights up while I hang out in my kitchen and it's like a screensaver. One that has saved my life and the trajectory of it so many times. I cannot think of betraying it. It would kill a piece of me on the inside that keeps growing ever so slowly. I feel that love more than ever now. But if you truly love something you will go through hell to protect it. And I've learned through the patience of this hell how to act in good faith with the people I care so deeply about. Part of that is keeping it all to myself while still keeping communication open.

When I call my parents and they ask what I'm doing on my birthday, you know what I tell them. For me to even write about it opens up a window to the world. Just like when I open up my kitchen in the morning and see half the neighborhood staring back at me with watchful eyes. Everybody thinks they know exactly what's wrong with my life like a Seinfeld episode. And yet nobody really asks how I'm doing. It is just stares and hushed judgement where there shouldn't be. When I come down here to breathe it never feels like I've done anything wrong. Even when I feel tension between people, I'm able to soothe it by communicating. We work things out together without saying a word. The amount we share and the art in which we all do it yields something fruitful. The gossip and the rumors that swirl in the outside world don't amount to much other than heat and suspicion. Every one is looking for a way to trash your party. And yet we still find a way to dance together. Slow dancing on the internet. We are all trapped in our obligations, fears and regrets and yet we still figure out a way to hold hands behind the scenes with the people that catch our eye. And I've seen so much love in people's eyes over time. And I've seen the opposite brewing in the street. People think because we've built a decentralized trust relationship based on the economy of emotion that they have their say to regulate it. They don't and I carry around a staple hammer to prove it. They think we're getting away with something that has evolved freedom in America more than the soapbox rants and heavy handed politics. I heard the person I fell in love with once say that the things she loved most about this country was freedom. And freedom is always evolving in this country. We are the caretakers of a special kind of culture. The way we represent and respect each other's identity here does not exist in the outside world. I walk a battered path every day outside of the love here with ears pressed against the walls and nervous stares from across the streets. And yet after all these years nobody really knows who I am other than a blur of ancient history and these ties we share together that only strengthen. I've been through hell. We have all been through hell. The value of this space is something I cannot describe. It's almost something I don't need to describe anymore. It's a way of living and seeing. It's a way of passionate feeling that digs so very deep. It brings lightness to my touch that I haven't felt in a long time. And I'm so deeply relieved I can share it with everyone along with the person I love and care about so deeply. No one would ever know the wiser. Sometimes I think the barbarians at the gate would like to try. They're out there licking their lips at me at the atm brandishing their pocket knifes with their white and jaundiced fatty fingers. You have my promise they won't get very far before I pretend to conveniently forget my point entirely. There is nothing to see here but love. Always has been. And whenever you need me you know how to touch me in your own tender way. I love you all so much for that. <3 Tim

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imxenelle · 6 years

Text

Farewell Kim Jonghyun

To be honest, I don't know how to start this blog but I will try my best to make my point clear. And I hope people will take their time to read this. This might be a bit long but please.. Bare with me. Thank you.

I am someone at the age of 19 years old. Eversince I was a child, I had depression. What triggered my depression was watching my family breaking apart and losing a family member because of depression. I was at the age of 4, an age where I shouldn't understand yet what was going on. I should've focused on playing with kids or do stuff like a normal kid should do, but I did not. Instead, I was by my mothers side as I watched her cry every night. I took care of her whenever I could as I wiped away her tears and brought her tissues and a glass of water. I was also always alert when she was about to collapse. I kept her cellphone ready in order to call for help or was ready to run out to our neighbors eventhough it was in the middle of the night. To make it short, I did not acknowledge my depression until I was in elementary. I went to a psychiatrist almost 2 times a week.

Now that I am 19, I've recently realized as to why my depression comes back every now and then. It is not because of my past. I accepted years ago that my family wouldn't be the way it used to be. So I do know that this is not the main reason for my mental issue today.

It was around the first week of September 2017 when I realized, after all these years, that I was the reason behind my depression. I'm the main cause. I am pressured by my own self. I exhaust my own self without noticing it all those years.

After I realized this, the whole reason behind my anxiety and depression, I couldn't stop myself from hurting myself anymore. I was tired of myself once again. On the 23rd September, I tried to overdose myself. 7-8grams, but nothing happened to me, not even after I fell asleep. I got mad. I was annoyed. I couldn't understand why I was still breathing and alive. But I eventually moved on and well, went on with my life.

I'm doing well today.

The point about this blog is, Jonghyun and I have the same reason as to why we're suicidal and have depression. Please, I am not claiming that we have the exact reason nor do I try to claim something else. We are both different people with different feelings and emotions.

I've read an article where Jonghyun's letter was posted and I was extremely shocked hearing about him being depressed about himself. I don't know how to express myself nor do I know if I'm even saying this right. I felt like I understood where he was coming from when he said that people should not judge ones' depression, mostly if you have no clue what he or she is going through. Also when a person was questioning the reason of Jonghyuns' depression. You cannot tell a person what was triggering his mental issues when he himself knew it already.

Having depression myself, I know what a struggle it can be. So I am very thankful to the people who are there for me and never giving up on me. So I hope people out there has at least someone they can trust and depend on whenever they need someone. If you think you don't have anyone, you can always message me. I'm always ready to make friends and be there for someone who needs a shoulder to lean and cry on.

And before I end this blog, I would like to copy paste something I wrote on my IG. I wrote it into 3 parts.

1. "It's all in your mind" "Don't let it go to your head" "Think positive" "Those feelings aren't permanent" "Others have it worse than you"

Please, please stop using those words when someone opens up to you about their problems. About their loud cries in their head. Their silent tears that scream for help. Stop. Please stop promising to a person who has anxiety/depression that you're there for them when you just end up leaving them with their thoughts. With their killing thoughts that no one hears but them. Please stop offer help if you refuse to listen but just put your own words into our mouths. You may reflect upon our situation but please do not talk for us. We may have the same situation but we do not have the same feelings. Please do not compare us with others as we are all different from each other. We do know that people out there may have it worse than us but we do not need it to be rubbed under our noses. We know. Please understand that we are troubling with ourselves. We do not mean to bother others so we keep it to ourselves. But the more we keep it to ourselves, the more people get affected, isn't it? I apologize for that. But please know that I am trying my best to do better, to be okay, to be happy. Please do understand as I try to help myself to be okay because I know no one can help me except myself. But the problem is, I do not know how to help myself anymore. Please do understand that talking may be tiring for us by now as we try to explain over and over again. It's not like we refuse to talk. It's not like that. Please don't force us to talk. It's just really tiring now that we just shut down and stay quiet and just cry. Please understand that anxiety and depression isn't just a feeling of being scared and sadness. It's not. It's something we cannot explain once it hits you. Please do not tell us to think of something positive. It is not like we do not want to. We do try to think positive. But once it hits us, our mind goes blank. It shuts off. Yes, sometimes we do not think but just feel. So please stop saying it is all up in our mind. We do not feel the pain in our mind but in our heart.

2."Try harder" "Your 'trying' isn't enough" "Don't try, do it" "Trying won't hurt"

It ain't easy the way it sound like. Please do not tell us that we should do something in order to make ourselves busy. To make our mind busy. It's because it'll make sound like we aren't trying. But we do. We do know that you mean only good but at the back of our mind it'll still bother us to the point that our mind starts to think "I am trying!" God damn it, we are trying. I am trying. Putting these words into my own mind and mouth is like adding salt to a fresh wound. I take the salt from you and pour it unto my own open flesh so it'll hurt less, but it doesn't. Please do know that we are trying our best to be okay. We try our best to stay happy. Because who doesn't wants happiness in their life? We want it too. We want it to last, even if it would be for a single day. So we try our best to do all the things we love to do, even if it'll takes a risk and a step beyond the line we're scared to cross. Taking the risks in life gave us sometimes the taste of happiness but coming at the end of the day, the same feeling comes back, even if we do not want to welcome it back. It's because IT welcomes us back.

So please, do not tell us to try harder because we do not try. We DO our best.

3. "You're being too dramatic" "Attention seeker" "It'll be okay"

Please stop saying that we're being too dramatic and that we're attention seekers. It hurts. Emotions and feelings aren't something to joke about. Please understand that we rather choose to keep it to ourselves instead of telling it to others. Keep it away even from our friends and loved ones. Sometimes they do not understand us either. Please understand that it hurts the most as we cry in our own 4 walls as we try not to make a sound in order for people not to hear us. It hurts. It hurts when loved ones don't understand. But it hurts the most when they blame themselves because we feel this way. We do not want to blame anyone but ourselves. Our own mind. Please do not talk down on us as you say "it'll be okay". People like I hold unto your words in hope you are saying the truth but cry in pain as these were words were filled with no sincerity but air. We do not blame you for these words that slip from your lips but our idiotic selves for trusting and holding unto something that can't promise us anything. Please do not tell us it'll be okay when you can't see your own tomorrow. Please do not tell us it'll be okay when we've been told this now since years. We are still not okay. Please stop giving us false hope that were meant to be unintentional.

ㅡㅡㅡ

I am done. I'm sorry if this was a long blog but I would like to give my sincerest thank you if you read it till here!

Please message me if you like to talk to me! You can open up to me about anything. I'm happy to make friends! And please remember to spread love. I love you peeps so much! Always take care of yourself! ❤

Lastly, I would like to end this blog with a short message to our Jonghyun.

Dear Jonghyun,

How are you? Are you doing well? I do hope you're well and safe. I believe that you're in a place now where you can rest your tired soul. I would like to thank you for being my very first ultimate bias. Thank you and SHINee for bringing me in into the Kpop world. Thanks to you, I found something I can hold unto whenever I feel down and happy of course. Thank you for being my joy and inspiration and motivation. Thank you for sharing your blessings with us. Your beautiful voice with your sweet and kind heart. Thank you for being you Jonghyun. I am sorry if I'm still crying as I write this but please know that I love you so much and that I miss you. I am sorry if I tried to run away from my own sadness and reality. I tried to run and build a wall from the reality that was right in front of me. I was scared to face it. I couldn't believe it and refused to accept it. It was too painful for me to let you go just yet. But knowing that you're in a safe place now, I try to let go. I'm slowly letting go of you. But it doesn't mean I will forget you. I will never forget you Jonghyun. You will always have a place in my mind and heart. You did well.

Rest in Peace Kim Jonghyun.

#kim jonghyun #kim kibum #choi minho #lee taemin #lee onew #lee jinki #jonghyun #rip jonghyun #shinee jonghyun #kpop #depression #shawol #shinee world #key #kibum #taemin #onew #minho #jinki

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victorianoir · 7 years

Note

I've had a couple of nauseatingly upsetting few days and while you don't owe me anything I was hoping you would indulge me in some charah fluff, a little snippet or 3 sentences. If you don't want to or aren't feeling up to it I understand. Well wishes.

Hey, you.

Hang in there, okay?

I’m working on some things for you. If you can wait a little longer, I’ll do my best to make the wait worth it.

In the meantime, friend...I hope this provides you some comfort.

-----

It was cold. She was cold. But she could see the dim light through the window, a window she sort of remembered climbing through sometimes, maybe to keep from alerting his sister that she was there, or maybe...maybe to avoid that ridiculous, embarrassing ‘get it, buddy’ Morgan would mouth to him whenever she used the front door to sleepover at her boyfriend’s place... Back when Chuck had been her boyfriend and not...her husband.

Because even though she’d been gone for a month and a half, that didn’t change that she was a married woman. Both legally and...well, in every way. And even though she wasn’t sure how she really felt about all of this, and about him, she knew beyond a doubt that she wasn’t willing to go on without trying. Maybe he’d understand. He seemed like an understanding guy.

He had to be understanding if he’d fallen in love with her. And not the Sarah she became in the last five years, but the one she was back when she could actually remember who she was. Screwed up, hard, scared, and really, really good at lying...at killing.

But things were slowly coming back, weren’t they? Small things drifting into her consciousness when she was asleep. Little moments she relived in her dreams that she clung to when she woke up again. Even the bad moments, moments that hurt to see. She knew they were all real memories. She had a feeling in her gut that they were real.

Maybe the more she remembered, the easier this would be.

Either way, she was here, standing in front of his door, hoping he was awake, even though it was barely seven in the morning, the sun still not completely risen. She rang the doorbell, unconsciously pulling at her leather jacket, moving her hair she’d let grow out a little in front of her shoulder, fluffing it a little.

And in those last moments before he opened the door, she thought of the emails General Beckman had forwarded to her from him. How warm they were even though she could tell he was actively keeping a lot of himself out of it, the I love you’s and other things he’d normally say. How good she’d felt reading them. Knowing there was at least one person out there who cared about her...more than cared. He’d chosen to spend the rest of his life with her. It kept her warm at night.

She’d eventually realized she was lying there at night with thoughts of him keeping her warm, when she could be in Burbank with more than just thoughts of him keeping her warm. The real thing--Chuck Bartowski. Even though she didn’t know him, she trusted him. She could trust him with herself. She had before. And...she trusted that she’d known what she was doing then.

The door opened and he stood there in his pajama pants, his white T-shirt, his hair a little longer, curling at the ends and mussed from sleep, his handsome features scrunched up as though she’d woken him up with her knock on his door. He just gaped, speechless for the first time since she’d met him after having her memories erased.

Her heart ached with something she didn’t really understand as she saw that the hem on his right sleeve was folded up, a little crooked. And she reached out to fix it, inadvertently tender, gentle.

“Thank you,” he said under his breath, just as gentle.

Feeling ridiculous, she closed the distance and cupped his face in her hands, moving up to her tiptoes to kiss him. When his arms slid around her waist, closing against her back and pulling her closer, she melted into him and slowly dragged her hands down, rounding his neck with her own arms.

She distantly heard the sound of the door shutting behind her as she used his shoulders as leverage to wrap her legs around his waist, letting him hold every last bit of her weight.

Without another word, he walked them down the hallway and into the bedroom.

------------

“What is this?”

She shivered at the feeling of the backs of his fingers stroking down her bicep. She disguised it by squirming to make herself more comfortable on the mattress, tucking herself further inside of the sheets. Did this guy not have a heater or something, she wondered?

“I...don’t know,” she answered quietly. “I know what you want me to say. That I remember everything. That everything is back to the way it was...before.” He mercifully didn’t answer that, instead just listening, and she could see why she’d fallen in love with him as hard as she must have. Hard enough that she still felt it in spite of the memories of him being wiped from her mind.

“I don’t remember everything. There’s a lot I don’t remember. But it’s been coming back. Some of it. Slowly. That isn’t why I’m here.”

She paused long enough for him to respond. “Why are you here?” he asked without a hint of bitterness or derision. He genuinely wanted to know. The honest to God truth, she knew. So she’d give it to him. As best she could.

“I left an entire life behind when I left. And I left not really knowing if I’d come back, which was...” She shook her head, deciding not to go that route. “But it came to a point where I realized I had two options. It wasn’t just a life I’d left behind. It was a happy life. I was truly happy, wasn’t I? Here. With you. With...whatever it was we were doing. Whatever I was doing. I was happy.”

“You were. We both were. Not without a few downs to the ups, but mostly ups. The downs weren’t that important in the grand scheme of things. Because we were happy.” He wrinkled his nose and she giggled, reaching up to gently tug on one of his curls. Her eyelids fluttered as another memory came back. She was naked, like this, but in a bright hotel room, in spite of the curtains being shut in an attempt to keep the sunlight out. And she was with Chuck, but he was a little younger, his hair longer. She remembered being a little groggy, tired, but supremely satisfied and happier than she’d ever been in her life before that. She’d reached up and twirled one of his curls around her finger, giggling when he’d asked, “Whatchu doin’?” in a sweet and boyish tone of voice. It was the first time she’d done that, she knew. But certainly not to the last.

His hair wasn’t long enough to twirl a curl around her finger, but she played with one all the same. “I’m not sure I deserve this. You. But you seem to think I do. And I must’ve thought I did, too. Enough to marry you. Really marry you.”

He didn’t do her the disservice of reiterating that point to drive it home, knowing she knew it was true, knowing he didn’t have to, that she didn’t need to hear it again. Instead, he smiled softly.

“But like I said, I have two options. This...here...I could be happy again. But that means trying. So my options: I could stay away, take mission after mission after mission after...mission,” she smiled a little bitterly, shutting her eyes for a moment. “...or I could...try. I spent eight weeks not trying, Chuck. And every part of me was screaming to try.” She let out a long breath. “This is me trying. And I promise I’m going to keep trying, as long as you promise to be patient...” She swallowed, not bothering to fight back the tears. “Because this is going to be hard. But I’d rather have hard with someone I trust, someone I think I...somewhere inside me...Somewhere inside me, I know I love you as much as I trust you. I’ll find that again. I know I will. But I have to try for that to happen. And I’m going to try. I just need you.” She swallowed a sob and chuckled at herself, rolling her eyes a bit, embarrassed by the outpouring of emotion.

He didn’t laugh at her. He didn’t look uncomfortable or unsure. He wasn’t embarrassed.

Instead, he looked supremely sure, confident...And with a strength she wasn’t entirely prepared for, he cupped her face and looked right into her blue eyes with his amber-colored ones. “We’ll try together. You’ll find what you’re looking for, Sarah. And even though it might be hard, you’re worth it. We’re worth it. And we always will be.”

“It might take awhile,” she said, even as she knew with every fibre of her being that it wouldn’t really be that long. She loved him. She didn’t know him... She loved him.

“However long it takes.”

He was genuinely sure of it. She knew. But even if he hadn’t been...she was.

“Do you think...you’d mind...a little more trying, though?” There was a sparkle in his eye as he teasingly ran a hungry gaze down her body, wiggling his eyebrows.

She laughed. Even as she dove on top of him. She laughed, knowing she’d done the right thing. Knowing she’d look back on this morning for the rest of her life, grateful that she’d had the self-preservation--the courage--to do the hard thing.

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