#IM BACK FROM THE DEADDD-

[sunny1927]

How Mickey got his hat. ❤️💙✨

#my art #art #mickey mouse #oswald the lucky rabbit #steampunk au #IM BACK FROM THE DEADDD- #I LIVEEEEE- #ehem anyway- #this took so long so #and kinda rushed but who cares- #also pls don’t mind the hat changing it’d size it’s just logic

[pjshermann]

25/06/23

HIIII IM BACK FROM THE DEADDD <33333

anyways here’s the baby he’s so son-coded

I will post more better stuff soon but for now have a simple charcoal piece

#art #traditional art #fanart #illustration #artwork #across the spider verse fanart #across the spider verse #across the spiderverse #spiderverse fanart #miles morales #miles morales fanart #into the spider verse #spiderman #charcoal #charcoalartwork

[junlvr]

IM BACK FROM THE DEADDD nomin <3

#nct dream #nct #na jaemin #lee jeno #ship art

[matchingslits]

ro hcneydnf is the only person who understands my humour i swearrrr. i need my bestie to fall back into the dteam pit of hell she somehow escaped and is free from them 💔💔💔

we are the same levels of annoying and controversial

theres so much tea from this day that no one knows except us im deaddd i wonder if i will ever tell yall

[antidotenurse]

Hope y’all are having a nice summer!!

Heya Sasstral~! Is there a character archetype (or just a singular character period) that you find easier to assimilate the ‘voice’ of and write? If so, do you know why?

Heyo Anti~! I’ve heard artists can go through color / aesthetic phases - looking back on some of your own fanart, do you notice any common threads like that?

SUMMER HAS BEEN A CHAOTIC HOT MESS AAAAAAAAAAAAA. If she doesn’t answer, I will. She can answer this via editing it later (so stay tuned if anything changes, how will you know? Idk), I just wanna get this out 😩😩😩 BECAUSE THIS BLOG IS NOT DEADDD. Anywho-

THAT’S A TOUGHIE!!!! Even since this ask was sent (GOD KNOWS WHEN IM SORRY) I’ve jumped to something else now lol (Something honestly, and arguably really difficult— yet I find it still somehow less strenuous than what I dedicated my main to for about a year. You know the ones…) But I draw different all over again now lol.

Gonna be honest though, I don’t look back on my own fanart much. If at all. I either hate it and cringe hard, or I go “hey that’s pretty good still.” Though the lucky ones are the art I completely forget existed.

I guess the most consistent…ish… aesthetic I go through is… Cell-shading type stuff? Where the colors tend to be pretty saturated? (Not TOO much so, I don’t like my eyes hurting.) There was a point where I would include this gradient like thing in place of actual textures for a while, because I liked the look of “World of Winx” a lot, despite itself. Then there was a more comic-y period or something.

Though nowadays especially after injuring myself from mass commission work where I was always asked to color something in that usual cell-shading way (I was strained for months tbh), I sorta drifted away from that and moved to uhh… I don’t wanna say painted, but It feels like i’ve regressed back to doing more of what I used to do back when I did more traditional work. I can’t really describe it? Either way, I haven’t posted any of it.

This dOESN’T FEEL LIKE AN ACTUAL ANSWER

#antidote asks #sorry fam GOTTA MOVE FASTER

[frobby]

Impeccable arrangement. Thank you for this gift

#IM BACK FROM THE DEADDD #DID YALL MISS ME? #I was only gone for like 2 weeks lmao #My house burned down #Anywayyy I wanted to see jazz so bad #But alas HD shall come another time #mairimashita! iruma kun #m!ik #agares picero

[ferie-anon]

Hellooo!♥️🦋🥰 can I have a ship with bts? My sun, Mars, mercury is Leo, my moon is Taurus and my venus is virgo.💜💜 Thank you very much🦋☺️

Hi there! Ooh that’s quite a bit of Leo energy there, with your Leo sun you radiate with energy in personality towards your friends, your generosity and loyal heart is something others admire of you, but you definitely know when to not be taken advantage of for it. Moon in Taurus shows someone who is calm and easy to get along, their friends find it relaxing with you and usually you are patient and less anxious. You do prefer your comfort zone at times and usually stick to the usual than the change. Stubborn with a sense of reliability, loyal. Your mercury Leo make you quite active when conversing, these natives usually have a naturally booming voice or expressive tone. They are usually very fun to be with when talking, cuz y’all are loud in a good way 😂 Venus Virgo prompts you to be low key when showing small affections and details to your partner, you show your dedication and insightful ways to show love to them. Venus virgos usually don’t demand attention to them for doing stuff for their s/o, they just want to be helpful as virgos in this placement like to show some small acts of love, and as long as their s/o appreciates their little small but important doings, Venus Virgo will be happy to help. Leo mars shows you can have quite the passionate drive towards your goals and ideals, you are usually optimistic and put your all in your passions/ but there can be some frustration as you want to be noticed for your achievements and hard work. Temperament wise, you are usually calm but when angered you can get explosive. Overall, I think you are really quite the hard worker and good at it too, you definitely have solid principles like loyalty, reliability, and trust are important to you. Your Leo placements give you a natural exposition of charisma and friends love you for your loud boisterous yet golden personality.

In bts... your match is V~

This gif of Taehyung shows his expressiveness in dancing and facial expressions, and so is his personality as it is something that is inspiring and looked up by others. He works hard, a supportive friend and one that can tell who are fake or bad, and he has a mature quiet side that we didn’t see often before. During the recent comebacks, fans have been “worried about Taehyung being unnaturally quiet”, however I do think we will never know as this is their personal life, but I think this shows Taehyung also has a mature and contemplative side of him fans don’t see before.Taehyung being a Capricorn sun with quite a few cap placements, they usually have another layer or something underneath what they show. Capricorns nature are quite family oriented, responsible, hardworking, and take their goals and passion very seriously. You two were drawn to each other’s attitude of dedication/stability towards life while both maintaining a smile or lightheartness at times. Taehyung is oozing with charisma and charms, and he definitely loved the inner confidence and independence you carried at times.

Taehyung’s moon is in Aries, and I coincidently reblogged a Aries moon Taurus moon post, I swear I didn’t do it on purpose 😳😂💛. Like the post previously, Aries moon have a need to be active and ARE active, they be energetic and hyper when they’re super in the zone. Endless energy and passion, and they have an inner confidence in themselves becuz. Aries. They trust themselves, doesn’t restrict their emotions, they wanna be themselves not fake it. They also are fiercely loving and protective of their loved/close ones. Your Taurus moon is known for being reliable to others and usually have a sense of realness, you have a steady honest approach in your thinking. Here you both have similar qualities, and you both complement each other both sun and moon wise, Taehyung’s Capricorn sun is hardworking and serious facing realities, while his Aries moon shows his sense of passion, happy young optimistic self that is truthful to their emotions. Your Leo sun gives you passion, warmth for others and innerly, a golden heart filled with love and loyalty for your friends. Your Taurus moon makes you patient, and balancing your Leo’s sunny exposition, you have a calmer and grounded side towards your opinions and self. You two would be the ones with the biggest hearts for their friends, and each other 🥺💛💕.

Mercury in Capricorrrn, they’re known for having a serious tone wise, but they’re naturally funny. Like they radiate dad jokes, and as you can see Taehyung despite not being as eloquent or super witty, he’s just funny being himself- disagree with me I dare you jkjk. Mercury capricorns want to convey their feelings or opinions in a serious, mature manner. But they do have another comical side of them and are a natural persuader. Due to capricorns dilligent and honest conversing skills, they lay out the facts and calmly speaking of the side, they can persuade people this way. Your mercury is in Leo, and all I can say is so much creative/new thinking and passion. I say passion too much, but that really is present in your Leo mercury. Leo mercuries have their ideas and try to present and express their opinions and desire. They’re enthusiastic about it and will defend their opinions/ideas. This is where some differences in style of communication are present in both of you, Taehyung being more based on reality and realistic logical approach, while your Leo mercury is more based on their personal ideas and opinions at times, and sometimes lack practicality solely in mercury placement (so not talking about your Taurus moon which is sensible and truthful). However, you both can help and grasp each other, Taehyung able to bring more realistic sensible approaches talking towards you, and your contribution of imagination and new perspectives towards his thinking. Plus, Taehyung’s Aries moon would appreciate and relate to your enthusiastic and creative Leo mercury, while your Taurus moon appreciates and is appealed by the logicality and grounded communication of capricorn mercury.

Next up, Taehyung’s Venus is in.... Aquarius~ He shows his love in his unique and open mind, he wants someone that doesn’t restrict his need for freedom. These sign placements’ attractive point is their free and understanding side that makes them authentic or highlights the capability of compassion in others eyes. Your Virgo Venus naturally wants to be of help or capable of noticing small touching details, like birthdays or that dessert your friend eyed at a cafe window display. You both mean well, but there are some differences between you two, such as Taehyung’s need for independence and more relaxed nature may make you feel down or insecure at times, and your Virgo Venus at first is shy or low key about their simple needs which may clash a bit with Aquarius open approach. But you both have so much compassion, understanding towards each other, that there will be a natural bond and you can try to communicate to solve misunderstandings and find a clear ground. You both enjoying talking with each other, especially meaningful or deep ones at times, despite different interests of topics you both have. Creativity stems from your Leo placements and it will appeal to Aquarius’ innovative and creative ideas. There is much you both can work on and when you do, there will be an inseparable connection and have a strong mental chemistry.

Lastly, his Mars is in Capricorn as well. He is goal oriented, productive, and dilligent. Your Leo Mars is determined, hardworking/dilligent, and set goals/passions for themselves not of what others think. You both put a lot of effort in your passions, Capricorns will strive to complete their goal before relaxing, and Leo mars put in their energy and will-power to get through their goals they set. You both share similarities in working values and morality, as Leo mars dislike close-minded people and Capricorn mars value someone responsible and focused. There will a mutual agreement and understanding of each other in this area.

You two both are attractive inside and outside(I’ll bet you are :3), a hearty personality and you both achieve and can do great things that doesn’t happen with no effort. You both may be perfect or role models for others, but you have built it from your responsible side and hardwork and diligence, and it won’t go to waste. You two radiate -> ❤️💕🍯🙈✨☕️🌹🦁🐯☀️⭐️⚡️

#ask #astrology ships #kpop ships #bts #v #taehyung #im back from the deaddd

[dustinnnaaa]

allies birthday part 2

allie and ray about to walk in the forest*

the rest in the house*

emma: now we have to make a gift and we need to make it quick!

norman: theres no need to rush well find gifts in time

lisnday: yea, i got the perfect gift in mind,well me and meridith its very special >:]

meridith: mhm 

nyssa: u have that look on ur faces where you two are plotting something and i dont like it

dei: dont be shyyy tell us what it is

lisndaya and meridith: its a secret!

dei: okaay?

while in the forest*

ray: sorry about that situation this morning,i should of looked where i was going heh

allie: oh nah thats my fault dont worry

*awkward silence*

allie: so i heard your singing the other day an-

ray: YOU HEARD? DAMMIT I KNEW I WAS LOUD I-

allie: ray calm down! i just wnated to say that your voice is amazing how come u never told me u had a voice of a angels

ray *blushes* wow im flattered heh i guess i just like keeping to myself

allie: but you can tell me anything you know that right

ray: of course...to be honest i-

linsday: oh there you two lovebirds are

allie: wait how did u find us

linsday: its called footprints

allie: oh right heh

lisnday: anyway you guys can come back to the house now we were just setling some stuff

*back at the house*

nyssa looking in the window* there coming back!

emma: right guys get ready

linsday,allie and ray walk ino the house and then they open the dining room door*

everyone: SUPRISEE!!

allie: aww you guysss

isabella: right children r u ready for to give ur gifts

children: yes mom

nyssa emma and dei gives allie a batchet of flowers and a art set from the attic*

allie: tysm guys this is so sweet

*rest of the children giving their gifts*

ray: here you go allie

allie recieves a scrapbook full of pictures of ray and her together

allie: aww ray this is hoenstly so sweet *gives ray a hig and ray starting to turn red* 

ray: ehh its ok hehe

isabella: ok children time for cake 

all gather at the table and isabella gets the cake and places it on the table while everybody is singing happy birthday and allie then blows out her candles

phil: so what did you wish for allie?

allie: well thats a secret

eerybody eating cake and talking and ray and allie are staning and talking after finishing cake

ray looks to se that lin and meridith are giggling*

ray: oi tweedle dee and dum whats so funny

linsday: oh we thought this would be the perfect time to give you guys your gift

meridith: 3 2 1

linsday: NOW

*linsday behind rays back and meridith behind allies back tring to push them together to kiss btu insted hit eachothers head*

allie: ow! 

ray: ALLIE R U OK? GUYS WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!

l and m: dang we thought that would work!

allie: im fin r u ok your hed hit pretty hard

ray: im fine now, now, *looks at lin and mer* your both deaddd

lin and meridith: crosses their hearts and then start to run away and ray chasing them*

allie: here we go again :/

@abi-scribbles @a-pastel-unicorn @anto-19-nella-blog @crazyaboutart15

[byrd-bb]

AYOO IM BACK FROM THE DEADDD!

Here we have the lovely main protagonists for my up and coming graphic novel BlueTopia!

#artists on tumblr #digital art #original character #oc #character art #clip studio paint #commissions open #conceptdesign #original comic #graphic novel #trans oc #transmasc #character dynamics

[kekozume]

im back from the deaddd

IM ALSO BACK FROM THE DEAD 🤸‍♀️‼️

#💕. weeby⠀

[diabolikpersonals]

Can you give us a summary of the ShuVSYuma CD Drama ;w;???

a good excuse to listen to the cd, thank u. IT’S REALLY PAINFUL THO

Shu is the vampire king and he’s been like, super unbearably thirsty lately, so Yui’s worried about him. Shu gives her the succ. Umm he has to teleport to the demon world for a bit, idk if it’s cuz there’s dangerous stuff going on or bc he can control his thirst better there, but they teleport, and after some wandering around they end up in that cave,, you know the one......the one where little Shu and Edgar wrote their names on the wall. Shu’s like “This place hasn’t changed at all...I played here when I was a kid, that’s all.” and he sees his demon language writing on the cave wall and he’s like “Back then...that guy was there too, huh...No, it’s nothing.” Then Shu senses someone’s presence and he’s like “quick, hide”

it’s yuma ofc and Shu’s like “what are you doing here?” and Yuma’s like “That’s my line!” Shu tries to fuckin get outta there but Yuma grabs his arm and he’s like “you know what actually I have something to talk to you about, about my past and stuff.” Shu’s gonna walk away but Yuma bluffs and implies that he remembers what happens in the past. “In the past we were friends...No, we were best friends.” Shu’s like “oh shit u remember??” and Yuma’s like “hah so it IS true!” Yuma’s pissed cuz Shu keeps trying to hide it. It seems like they’re gonna fight or smthn so Yui goes in between them :3 and Shu’s like “you know what im leaving”, Yuma’s all “so you’re just leaving this girl here???” and Shu gets all sarcastic and he’s like “your oh-so-hated aristocrat is leaving, you must be pretty thankful” (im dead)

Yuma gets super pissed off and starts kicking the shit out of some rocks. Yui tells Yuma to look at the writing on the wall, and he sorta calms down when he notices it and he apologizes for getting all mad. He explains that that’s Shu’s vampire name n stuff, and how it was supposed to be a secret between the two of them. Yuma says that he’s changed since then - he became a vampire and lost his memory, and it’s way too different from how it was back then, so they may never get along again. He says he thinks Shu realizes that and he’s trying to run away from reality cuz he hates it. Yuma’s like “well, let’s leave” and he takes Yui and leave the cave.

Yuma takes Yui to a big tree and says that he liked climbing it and stuff cuz the scenery was nice from way up there. It’s an apple tree so he picks one and gives it to her and they have a little snack n stuff. Then Yuma,, gives Yui that succ and says he’s gonna make his fangs go way deeper than Shu’s sjdhgfgdhd. Yui seems in really bad shape but Yuma’s ready to keep going. Shu shows up and he’s like “dude stop she’s gonna die at this rate” and Yuma’s like “SHUT UP SHES NOT YOURS and this is your fault anyway!”

Yuma forces Shu to look out at the view and yells at him that he must remember seeing that place going up in flames. He demands that Shu tells him what he knows. Shu like weakly whispers something under his breath (I hear “the flames...” but the rest is too quiet) and shoves Yuma away and leaves and also my heart is broken THANKS REJET. Yuma storms off too, angry that Shu won’t tell him anything about his past. Yui follows Shu - and it starts raining. Shu’s like “Don’t follow me, go back with that guy.”

They suddenly get attacked by EXPLODING EAGLES! It’s the adler clan attacking them with magic lol but it just sounds like exploding eagles :’D They’re after Shu’s power and Yui’s heart or whatever idk. Anyway remember when I said Shu was super thirsty lately??? He smells Yui’s blood and basically like collapses w/ thirst. He’s breathing really quickly and heavily and he bites her knowing that it might kill her. Yui insists she’s fine (even tho she’s really not) but Shu can’t stop anyway. Yuma shows up to get him off of her and he punches Shu.

They yell at each other some more and Yuma’s like “u know what, I know u didnt start the fire but you can’t pretend that you’re completely blameless, right???” and Shu is like D: and Yuma’s like “I just want you to take responsibility for stuff a little bit! Don’t you feel bad for this girl too?” After lecturing Shu a bunch, Yuma takes Yui and carries her off to somewhere with a bed (his room? idk).

He thanks her, and says that he really can’t give her away to that guy. He asks her to become his. He succs her. Suddenly a bunch of wolves break in and Yuma’s like “SHIT” and he gets super fucked up by the wolves rip...but Yuma’s like “U CANT HAVE OUR EVE” and and and and and and

Shu shows up and he’s like “This is vampire territory. Leave.” and the wolves shrink back a bit. (IT’S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THEY WERE KIDS IM DECEASED!!!!!) Yuma’s like “well fuck em up!!!” and Shu uses his power on the wolves, and the wolves fuck off.

Yuma mutters that Shu’s been acting cool. Then he’s like “well...yknow.......thank you” and Shu’s like “it’s nothing...” Yuma tells Shu to be honest once in a while ^^ Then Yuma’s all “I won’t give this girl to you” and tells Yui that they’ll pick up where they left off. He succs Yui in front of Shu and Shu’s like “well of course im getting in on some of that action #yolo” so he succs Yui too. The shu/yuma/yui combo of my DREAMS!!!!!!

My fav part of it honestly is when Yuma’s saying some cool line and Shu’s like “hey can you quiet down, you’re spoiling the blood” and Yuma’s like “what? shut up” skadajgahfgh

Anyway Yuma’s like “don’t you have something to say to her?” and Shu’s like “huh? oh yeah...........I’m sorry.” and Yuma’s all satisfied and he’s like “what, do you have something else to say?” and Shu goes “well, not really. but like...I wanted to tell you something too. about your past, and you turning into a vampire...well...im sor-” and Yuma’s like “WELP im leaving.”

Shu’s like “wait-” but Yuma teleports away. Shu mutters, “which one of us is acting cool...?” Even though Yuma isn’t there, Shu says all quietly, “I’m sorry, Yuma.” (IM DEADDD)

Yuma monologues for a bit at the end and I’ve NEVER BEEN ABLE TO TRANSLATE THE MONOLOGUE BEFORE AND IT’S SO FRUSTRATING but Yuma goes “Well, he’s him and I’m me. That’s the way it should be.” and “I’ll create a place where I belong for myself. That’s the way it’s been since the past too.” anyway for the love of god I need to figure out what he’s saying here so badly idkufdjgfd

#text #long post #vampiretsuki

[nappingwithyuuji]

thoughts on the first episode of the next generation

I’m data, like i knew he was like me just not this much

the new enterprise looks sooo comfy

the science officer is so cute and im in love.

she is also v like me

im also in love with Lieutenant Yar

“And now personal request, sir. Permission to clean up the bridge” WORF!!!!!

a synth playing one of the themes omg

picard’s voice is akshqiwy

i like that now female officers can wear both skirts or pants

oh the pretty science officer is not a science officer (i thought that cause of the blue), she is a counselor

“emergency saucer sep” mmmm sounds yummy

it seems that the klingons and the federation have resolved their problems

AND MALE OFFICERS CAN WEAR SKIRTS!!!

omg a lil vulcan

EVERYONE IS SO HOT

OH THATS WHAT “emergency saucer sep” MEANS! IT SEPARATING

“mid 21st cent” “post atomic horror”

ok yar has a temper

nononono she cant be frozen

i hate the court ppl

ok she’s back

when will geordi and will wheaton’s character appear

picard is also a drama queen i love him

Rikkkkeeeerr and the magical.apple

WESS I LOVE YOU

and i love his outfit

gEORDIIIII YOU BEAUTIFUL SNEAKY BASTARD I LOVE YOU

take me deeper into daforge hell

“make it so”

whyy does picard hate riker!

picard is not good around children omg

and their talk! good character insight

now i meet the science officer and omg i cant believe i have a crush on everyone

DEKELLY IS HERE

DeKelly’s scene you guys!!!

The consult’s is Deanna Troi!! good to put a face to that name, i had seen gifs and pictures but they all look so young and I also didn’t recognize Riker without the beard…

Riker likes Deanna, Riker like Deanna *kissing sounds*

THEY HAD ALREADY MET!

what does imzadi meannn

*a google search later* oH

PLANT ROOM

more data pls, he is so soft and wants to be a human. he is literally pinochio

data saving wesley!

again, wesley’s sweaters are my favorite things ever

“I knew your father, Wesley. Want to look around?” IMM DEADDD

what happened with the communication officers and all that, im honestly very confused with the uniform color changes

ohhh! strange vessel

I just found out that ive been pronouncing Picard’s name wrong and im !!! so confused, to me it was picard but apparently its picard??????

they have official federation cardigans im !!!

“I seem to be commenting on everything” same data

ofc data is the one w the fancy new tricorder

wait no, actually, if my friend elliot is correct, im pronouncing picard right :)

ok that alien is beautiful and majestic and im so sad that it suffered like idk. it reminds me of the dolphins from the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy for some reason idk

iVE GOT LESS THAN 10 MINS LEFT AND THIS IS WHERE MY WIFI DIES?????

ok im back (my dad forgot to pay the bill lol) LETS DO THIS

this is a love story yessss!!!!

the energy beam’s color is very pretty!!!

aww the creatures are touchingg and they missed each other aww, they are so pretty

i hate Q

...AND THAT’S IT!!! im so in love with the characters and i knew i would cause they seemed lovely

plus, i just learned that Yar’s name is Tasha and im so in love

#picard #deanna troi #riker #tasha yar #data #geordi la forge #daforge #wesley #the next generation #tng #mine #star trek

[saneislame]

because elsa told me 2

today im going to write about my first time taking molly on Saturday (2/2/19) at the ASAP Rocky concert in san francisco. elsa told me that im going to forget it eventually and i know she's right so here i am.

LEMME TELL YALL I HAD THE BEST NIGHT IN MY LIFE.

the molly kinda slapped me in the face during his set, like around his third song. that shit hit selena right away this bitch was literally leaning back and looking at everything i was deaddd she's so funny. but yeah its smacked me and i felt like a lil heavy but also a lil uneasy and dazed like things were kinda moving but not really. holding arelys hand me a lot just because i needed the comfort knowing i wasn't alone, a minute in and i was rollingggggg. lemme tell youuuu wow everything looked so beautiful. things i remember so clearly i will never forget: the face of the boy with his shirt off and blue and purple face paint, he was cute and happy but like joyful and playful type of cute, like i wasn't attracted to him but he was just really really pretty. the man in the mask was my favorite. its crazy that i know who he is now, im glad bc it gives me closure but also its crazy how you could think someone is attractive in a mask but they could be so unattractive under it hahah (sounds deep but im deadass talking about like an actual physical mask, like rocky’s set mask.. i know all know what im talking about lol)

anyway i fell in love with his grills and his eyelashes and then he didn't even hesitate when i asked him to help me crowd surf, he carried me right over, and he yelled and everyone to catch me and to not let me fall. I felt like i was floating,, IN FRONT OF ROCKY...lemme say that one more time... IN. FRONT. OF. ROCKY. SINGING TO MUFUCKING PLAIN JANE!!!!!!! he jumped in after me and he crowd surfed together, i swore i was in love hahah. then they carried me back to in-between the crowd and the stage, took me back to the audience and i made my way back to the front. i wish i wish i could do that night over and over again, bc there are some concerts that you go to just because your friends are going. but i went because concerts in SF are always fun and im in love with rocky and the mob. this set was fucking crazy his vision is so,,, amazing like its so me. that sounds wack af but his vision is my vision... i wanna hang out w him sooo bad like please lemme be your friend..

also on molly i was more social which makes sense, but i felt like myself when i was talking to the guy in charge of the merchandise, like me literally trying to make connections at the venue lolll (theres another word for it but i forgot the word) but this dude was really nice, i forgot his name tho lolll. but pretty much since then its been really easy to talk to random people and not give a fuck if i mess up, i guess i have less social anxiety now than i did before, i think molly actually helped me in that way because it made me have like a subconscious realization that talking to people is hella easy and hella fun and like,, people like friendly people, that shit is hella fun. in the end i was really sad that i forgot my film camera, i still am,, i could've got a picture of the mans in the mask and he would've posted it and that shit would have been fireeee. but its ok, i think now i can't be afraid to ask people if i can take a picture of them. that shit can open doors, like yeah everyones a photographer but also im just doing this shit for fun, and i get to talk to people that I've never talked to before,.

also i talked to jelly this morning and i learned a lot i think.

we talked about how we have this energy and we can't let others take it, i really liked the conversation because i was dazed from being high last night and i felt a lil sleepy and the sun was shining on her and she was just so pretty and so calm. it felt kinda like a dream but i knew it wasn't. we talked about her trip to yosemite and we talked about a lot of things that people don't usually talk about. like the worry of being friends with guys without having them catch feelings for you. also the worry of toning down your light so that others won't feel bad about them selves like her sister and my friend from elementary school.

jelly makes me feel better about life, i hope that i can do that for others as well.

im scared to transfer, but thats something i can talk about later.

i wanna do more drugs because i want to learn more about myself.

acid in the spring is too far away. lol

[lutankiet]

Update.

Soo.. I have 3 more classes for my summer school. I’m kinda scared I’m not going to get the desired grade that I want. But I’m hoping that I’ll be fine. I’m scared of my GPA dropping. I don’t know why I put so much of my self-worth towards school and determine my value from my academic success. I’m so tired and I always say that and I just want a break which I did have yesterday, but I want a week. A week where I don’t have any responsibilities. A week where I can do whatever I want. A week where I don’t need to worry about anything. A week that I can enjoy. I just need time. I just need to take care of myself before I lose myself again. I can tell that I’m becoming more aggressive and agitated and I want to fix it. School is killing me right now and I just need a moment. I have so much to worry about. I feel like I’m not going anywhere with my life. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing at all. I just wish I know what I’m doing. I don’t fucken know anything. ANYTHING.. i just need to get my shit together and I keep saying that but what the fuck does that even mean. im so fucken drained and im scared im going to crash. so much on my mind. education is the key to success.. i keep playing this in my head. idkk.im going crazy. my head hurts, i want a break. i want to be fine. i just want to be okay. i dont know what im even fucken seeking for in life. once i get a job, then what?what the fuck am i doing. idefk. what is all this. what is happiness. omg. stress. life..change..so much to cope with

comparing myself to others constantly i just want to be equal but capitalism fuck everything fuck everyone. i just want to run the fuck away and live on a farm. i want to go back to my childhood when everything was easy. i dont want to say that i hate my life but idk what im doing and im scared. what is this. i want to go find myself in vietnam

but my parents won't let me. i want to leave. i need to travel. i want to travel. picking classes...arranging shit. some much fucken shit to do. so much pressure. secrets. i hate them i want my life to be okay what am i doing. my brain hurts. judgement. social media is life now apparently everyone is on their phones 24/7 i need my life. idk what to do. im going crazy omgfg. burnout. burnout burnoutbourn burnoutburnoutburnout. i need a break. i’m going crazy. im so drained. i just need a moment. give m e a moment. life. i dont want to glamazze things anymore. real. honesty. shit. happens. omfg. im deaddd. my brain is fried. i have 3 more classes left  and this is my last chance to make things right and hopefully get the grades that i want. YOU HAVE TO WORK HARD. BUT FOR WHAT. FOR UR FUTURE. DO THIS. UR GONNA BURN OUT

FUCK WHAT EVERYONE SAYS UR NOT GONNA BURN OUT IF U TAKE CARE OF URSELF. GIVE URSELF TIME TO HEAL INDIVIDUALLY. CUT TOXICIITY OUT FUCK. FBASUYDFBUYEABRGYEAR BRAIN DEAD. OMFG. I HATE SOCIAL MEDIA. I WANT TO LIVE. I WANT TO EXPORE I WANT TO LEAVE SF. I HAVE TO LEAVE SF. I NEED TO GET AWAY SOON!! I HAVE TO GET AWAY!! I NEED TO LEAVE. I HAVE TO GO BEFORE I .... idk. i need to take care of myself. i need to take care of myself i need to take care of myself. mental health mental health. dont worry everything is gonna be fine. everything will be fine. you have people that care for you but no one understands. no one understands the struggle no one doesQ!!!! i hate it ... i hate being materialistic i hate everything i hate how people judge me on how i dress i hate my insecurities i hate my height im so insecure. i hate my left toes i hate my puffy nipples. i hate my stomach fat. i need to take care of myself. i need to be okay. school is such a toll on me i need a break i want a break but i dont want to waste time cuz time is money i hate it. what am i saying. it’s 12 am . shit. fucken shit. my brain. i need to cleanse i need to cleanse. i need to do more of what makes me happy. but what makes me happy. idk. idk anything. omfg.asfniwaegubarhgniaergdgd. i hate technology. i feel pressure. i feel pressure. i need a break. my brain hurts. i need a break before i burn out burn out burn out!!