#If any of you ever need to talk

[ethereal-bumble-bee]

I See- A Letter From Crutchie

Note: This isn’t so much a oneshot as a message from me, written through a character, one that I think a lot of you need to hear. Above all, keep hope, and trust that no matter what, things WILL get better one day, I promise- you just need to be there to see it.

Anyways, enjoy this letter from Crutchie!

    I see you.

    I see the tears that pour down your face. I hear your sobs, muffled by your pillow as you cry late at night. I hear the thoughts running amok through your head, each and every prayer and hope dashed by your state of mind. I hear the laughs of the kids at school, the cut glances and raised eyebrows- I hear their words, sharp as a knife and just as damaging. I feel your heartbreak, every thought dragging you deeper into the worst breakdown yet.

    I understand it, kiddo. I understand those thoughts, because I‘ve also fallen into despair like that. I know exactly what you’re thinking- I’m wrong, they’ll never accept me, I should just hurry up and go, maybe it’ll relieve them of their trouble. I know how it feels, trust me. 

    Because I have felt the same. 

    They hated people like us, remember? Hated us with a passion, so much that they didn’t believe we were people. Even now, though, I still think some of them do. We were foreign, difficult to understand, and I know how unfair it is, but most of them didn’t even try.

    The point is, I get it. And I know what you’re thinking about yourself, how much you hate how you look, how you think, how you are so different from the rest and how they all seem to notice. I know the thoughts that run through your brain… you know those ones. The ones that tell you to end it all.

    Just know this, kid- you’ll miss your life. You’ll miss your favorite music, and laughing so hard that milk comes out of your nose. You’ll miss the smell of the air right after it rains, the taste of your favorite food, the tinkling of wind chimes when the breeze picks up just so. You’ll miss the sunrises and the sunsets, the wild thunderstorms and calm rains, the highs and the lows of life. You’ll miss all of these, even if you don’t think you will, but there’s one thing you’ll miss more than anything. 

    Kiddo, I think you’ll miss you the most. I can see you now, in fact. A wonderful, kind, sweet, dream-filled person, who just doesn’t know how positively awesome they are. I know you hate yourself right now. In fact, are any of us ever really happy with who we are? But what’s important is to realize that you are you. Beautiful, unique, queer you, who’s been blessed with the best gift there is. You know what that is?

    It’s life. This life is full of twists and turns, ups and downs, crying and laughing, and all sorts of contradictions and irony. It’s the only thing you’ve got right now, hon. It’s so important to keep that with you, that hope that there’s still a life left to live.

    It got better for me, and it’ll get better for you too. All you have to do is keep on living, keep on hoping for that someday, that moment where you can be truthfully, unequivocally yourself without fear or sadness.

    So, if you’re thinking about leaving, I’ve got one word for you- stay. Stay with me, stay with those that love you, stay on this earth. Laugh, scream, yell, tear things apart and then cry because you feel so much of it. Feel anger, feel sadness, feel love, but most of all, feel hope. Keep that with you, kiddo, and I think you’ll be just fine.

    It’s getting late. I should go. Just promise me that you’ll stay here, at least for another day. Promise that you’ll find a reason to keep on going, no matter how small. If you don’t have anyone else, know that you’ve got me. 

    Goodbye, kid. Until we meet again.

    Love,

    Crutchie

#newsies #fanfiction #newsies musical #crutchie morris #crutchie #crutchie newsies #letter #Hope #If any of you ever need to talk #Just know I’m right here #<3

[inkskinned]

im gonna start a fight; and, at the same time, i need you to take this in the most good-faith way possible, but:

videos that involve body-checking and intentionally (and uncritically) show a mealplan of an unhealthy number of calories are just a revamped version of pro-ana food diaries.

and yeah, i know there's arguments. i address some of them under the cut. but at the end of the day, we're just coming back to romanticizing mental illness; we've just found a better platform for it.

this is already something we've done. we knew it was wrong and tried to stop it. and tbh. it just wasn't enough.

there are people who argue "well, what if you have an eating disorder, you can't help it if you don't eat!" except that as someone with an ED; we are not infants. we know what we're doing. part of having an ED is that you are like, maybe too self-aware. even if we can't help our own food choices, we don't need to fucking romanticize the disorder - something we've been warning you about since 2013. there are hours of setup, filming, and editing that go into these videos. they do not happen to fall into place randomly. there is a reason they are pieced together to be beautiful, bright, inspiring.

there's this woman who pretty much only posts daily plans under a normal amount of calories, and everyone defends her saying but it's better than nothing! and i'm like. except she opens those with images of her showing off her body and provides no context in the video or caption that suggests that she believes what she's doing is unhealthy. she has hundreds of thousands of followers on a platform designed for young kids and teens. i refuse to believe that by accident her content just happens to be cheery advice on "healthy" versions of starving.

for any other symptom of mental illness, we would be incredibly enraged by this kind of placid acceptance of a "tips and tricks" fast-start guide. imagine if people posted pink & pretty videos saying "best places to cut yourself" as if it was a fucking storytime. we, as a society, are so fucking fatphobic that we would rather accept blatantly harmful displays of self harm than admit that we are obsessed with a hyper-thin body type.

i am not suggesting someone never talks about their disorder. i talk about mine. actually, it's a plot point in my book.

here's the difference: i recognize it's a fucking mental illness. i am very careful to never mention a specific weight, eating pattern, or calorie plan. i always make sure to position it as something that ruined my fucking life. i do not put cheery music in the background and hearts and sparkles over my worst moments. i do not film it in bright light. i do not start each passage with an image of a thin body followed by "here's how to look like her."

eating disorders should not be framed as aspirational. and the problem is that society worships the "after" image, so long as you don't get too sick. there is a reason so many people who quit being "influencers" will later admit - i wasn't eating well that whole time; an obsession with food was completely destroying my life.

we let any uncredited, uncertified person write the most backwards, fucked up shit about how to get the body you desire! because the underlying, secret belief is: well, at least they're thin! and the real thing that fucking gets me each time - they make fucking money off of it. their irresponsibility and societal harm literally pays off for them.

"why do you care so much." "don't like it don't look." "so what if people experiment with new ways of thinking of food?"

thank you for asking. we're about to get extremely personal. it's because when i was 18 i discovered "thinspiration"/"thinspo." and it absolutely influenced, shaped, and codified my pre-existing eating disorder. i went from having some troubling habits and traits to being incredibly unwell within what felt like a matter of days. there were actual pages designed to train me on how to have an ED correctly. it was all so suddenly easy. i was sick; and the nature of the illness meant - i wanted to be sicker.

it takes an average of 7 years for a person to fully recover. i know this personally - even now, 10 years from the worst of it, i still fucking struggle. i am so much happier now and i eat what i want and i literally don't think about food at all (19 year old me would shudder) and yet - i still fucking know the calories of plain toast with butter.

an eating disorder is one of the deadliest types of mental illness. over 1 in 4 people with an ED will attempt suicide.

and i'm sorry. i just do not see the exchange rate of "high rate of engagement" versus "the value of a human life."

#and there's something else in there about like .... #tbh once i got over something like 1k followers #i stopped being specific about my ED for a REASON. #yes on ur personal locked blog that u use like a diary go ahead etc #but we are OBVIOUSLY not talking about that. we're talking about the sheer NUMBER of people i could be talking about #in that one paragraph. that you and i probably were thinking about 2 different influencers #bc they get to say that they're just posting FITNESS and if it's FITNESS it's OKAY and im like #jesus christ lord almighty #every person in recovery from an ED: this is incredibly dangerous holy shit do you know how much this would have triggered me #each of these ppl: how dare you!!!!!!!!! i am only harming those who WANT to engage with my content!!!!! #their followers: leave them alone !!! they can't help that they make an hours-long choice to frame their disorder as if it was #fucking cottagecore !!!! #like girlie this person needs THERAPY #again! i didn't even have that large of a following before i IMMEDIATELY deleted any specific mention of calories food etc #bc i recognize responsibility and i didnt EVER want to even ACCIDENTALLY encourage this #and im not even GETTING PAID FOR THIS!!! #aND THEY ARE!!! #something something something they know this content makes them money #they don't give a SHIT about u babe

[naturecalls111]

Me, consuming any other media ever: how can I make this about zosan

#nc111 talks #zosan #this is about me playing fe3h for the eighteen billionth time and finding little delusional concepts in sylvix that makes me go #'nod nod nod that's so zosan of them so true' #like objectively it really isn't zosan of them at all but sometimes I see it between the lines and I'm like oh zosan sunglasses emoji #if you dare me i can even find the lawlu in sylvix im so talented #I'm not even kidding if someone made a game out of turning things into zosan i would never lose #i had an ant infestation in my bathroom the other day and I made it about zosan #my brother was like WE HAVE BIGGER ISSUES THAN YOUR YAOI RIGHT NOW #like........ there is no bigger issue than my yaoi at any given moment.....ever.......... #whispers although I have to admit I enjoy the sylvix dynamic more than i do the zosa- *gets shot* #im so sorry there's just only so much bickering i can take before i'm like *smacks ship* I NEED YOU TO BE MORE BLATANTLY KIND TO EACH OTHER #In a way that doesn't feel so teeth-gritty or. well. OOC. LOL #Anyone who likes sylvix AND zosan will know what i mean I'm not going to explain it. iykyk #WAIT LMAO IM NOT DONE. EDIT: #when my first boyfriend broke up with me i was a melodramatic little shit about it #had a diary that i would like pour my heart into and the other day i came across it #and it's really telling that my first thought was “omg.... so zosan-” LIKE GIRL GET A GRIP YOU ARE DETACHING FROM REALITY #all for zosan CRIES ALL FOR ZOSAN...

[lunarharp]

if i just told you i love you would this world change

#witch hat tag #orufrey #these kinda suck lol i feel like i cant draw right now *irritated sigh* BUT I FEEL EMOTIONS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #if you are gay go watch good omens season 2 right now. NO YOU DONT KNOW THO!!!!!!!!! #i know being this affected by good omens is probably cringe. I dont care any more. the last 1 minute of good omens season 2 was #some of the most affecting acting i've ever seen in my life. sometimes someone acts with the force as if their entire career led to that #like during the credits part the very end im not even talking about before that. holy god #aziraphale i know everything about you. i know what you are feeling right now. i can see everything on your face. we're going to make it #ER.... NOT THAT THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS POST. IT'S NOT SPOILERS !!!!!!!!!!!!! #I JUST FEEL THOROUGHLY CHANGED !!!!!!!!!!! SHIT GETS REAL FROM NOW ON.. LIKE IN GENERAL! IN MY LIFE! #tormented gay love tormented gay love TORMENTED GAY LOVE TORMENTED GAY LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #btw the first 3 images were drawn earlier with an entirely different feeling and an entirely different mood. #Why do you keep pulling away from me? #It is because i love you that i do this #the lyrics from one of my japanese orufrey songs (A SONG THAT THE CREATOR LISTENS TO!!!!) led to feelings #“あなたが知らない私を残さず見ててほしいの” but i'm not translating it cause it just sounds weird. if with his eyes oru's asking “WHY don't you want #to let me in? to see all of you?“ those lyrics are like ”I actually want you to see every last bit of the parts of me you don't know“ #oru you have no idea how much i want to lay bare my whole soul for you #maybe it's an alternate version of chapter 40. to me #i need to draw something really fucking good or i'm not going to forgive myself. i will not rest in this life #until i have made the orufrey that fully satisfies me nor until i have seen what the manga is leading to #NO STORY MEANS ANYTHING WITHOUT TORMENTED GAY LOVE AT THE HEART OF IT. THATS THE HEART OF THIS WORLD!!!!! #........... so Hi im normal :) haha *goes and finally makes breakfast*

[salarymanwaka]

late for work...

#orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #omniscient reader #yoo joonghyuk #kim dokja #joongdok #중독 #my art #joongdok adult roommates #just two guys who have been living together for 10 years with no other romantic relationships #they have never made anything official and don't refer to each other by any titles other than roommate #however when inevitably asked by neighbours/coworkers/friends if they ever plan to get into a relationship or marriage they always respond: #....i guess i've never felt the need for that' #it is because they have been functionally married for over a decade thank you for coming to my ted talk #no scenarios au

[roscoe-me-and-this-fuckin-kid]

the world tried to burn all the mercy out of me but you know i wouldnt let it. the world tried to burn all the mercy out of me but you know i wouldnt let it. the world tried to burn all the mercy out of me but you know i wouldnt let it. the world tried to burn all the mercy out of me but you know i wouldnt let it. the world tried to burn all the mercy out of me but you know i wouldnt let it. the world tried to burn all the mercy out of me but you know i wouldnt let it. the world tried to burn all the mercy out of me but you know i wouldnt let it.

#sunshine riptide #fall out boy #fob #i dont ever wanna talk that way again i dont wanna know people like that anymore as if there was an obligation as if i owed you something #all these grandstanding gaslights black eyes and fist fights i romanticize #i scraped my knees while i was praying and found a demon in my safest haven #and the worst part is before it gets any better were heading for a cliff in the free fall i will realise im better off when i hit the botto #i think ive been going through it and ive been putting your name to it stretched out over n over again til im creased and im bout to break #rip myself apart i'll be whatever you need me to be you need me to be cut myself down i cut myself down to whatever you need me to be

[mewtwo24]

I just started reading the svsss volumes (and re-read them again because A LOT IS GOING ON) but like. This shit is so hysterically funny I don't even know where to begin.

Was no one????? Going to tell me that one of the cornerstone jokes in the damn series is that lbh's adoration for his one and only 'tism person who literally cannot express his emotions to save his life is basically genetic?????????

Was no one???? No one AT ALL going to tell me that Mobei-Jun straight up yeets Airplane at the problem in one of the scenes?????? And that in the most hilarious twist of fate Airplane then unyeets Mobei-Jun not twenty minutes later?????

It's one thing to see people joke about sqq and lbh being unable to communicate but it's on a league of its own when you have to read HUNDREDS OF PAGES of sqq's inner monologue be like 'that's my darling boy. my baby. my sugar plum pumpy umpkin you're my sweetie pie' but on the outside he says "get lost binghe" and somehow deems that an effective expression of his affection that lbh will surely understand. 'Why is lbh whining and crying and tugging at my sleeve like a plaintive wife, why is he so angry?' Sqq asks, the entire circus, as lbh is about to fling himself off a cliff for attention--

In short, MXTX is the queer comedian of our generation and nobody appreciates her enough

#svsss #bingqiu #shen qingqiu #luo binghe #mxtx what must it be like to carry the gays on your shoulders like this #she ran so that the rest of us could walk oh my actual god #i just can't get over how much of the novels are sqq panicking because he needs to 'do right' by lbh #aka make lbh the absolute lunatic from the original #so its just this uproarious back and forth between a guy trying to make a bbg desperate for his love into a human weapon #AND make himself disappear before that weapon is turned on him (also probably the self-hatred talking) #amazing showstopping spectacular **slaps sqq's back** you can fit so many repressed internalizations of toxic masculinity in this mf #legit as i read these volumes i just kept thinking of that meme like 'congrats sqq buddy that's the worst anyone's ever done it' (joke) #not that lbh is any better but in fairness the lad is going through a lot too so i spare him too harsh a judgement #also sincerely i dont think i was prepared for just how stupid how crazy lbh goes for sqq. it was. MAGNIFICENT #I was like 'surely he isn't that dramatic' and then by god everyone. by god I started reading and went #'jesus christ that's a nuclear missile shaped little meow meow and that's HILARIOUS' #i also just can't get over sqq insisting 'IM NOT GAY. I DONT GAY. IM THE STRAIGHTEST STRAIGHT!!!!' #while. literally. saying full stop to lbh of like 'wym i smile more genuinely at everyone else they're just scarecrows around me' #sqq--the man who couldn't bear to see lbh suffering as a young boy. #who was so affected he was crying in his sleep and calling out lbh's name over and over #ON WHAT LEVEL IS THAT HETEROSEXUAL SQQ. THE JIG IS UP #literally EVERYONE around sqq being like 'congrats on being the last to know' about his love for lbh #and can we talk about sqq being like 'we used to communicate so seamlessly that we had no need for words. there was no greater joy for me.' #and highlighting that though gongyi xiao was a similar and talented young lad he fell decidedly short because he did not have above quality #and then sqq still being in denial; i swear i LOVE the little hints mxtx drops i feel like the happiest mouse scampering around for crumbs #additionally a question: how does anyone take liu qingge seriously #when he's displeased he just yells 'HEY' and does nothing about it (most times) #that is the most boomer dad energy i think i've ever seen #also :(((((((( all the jokes about tianlang-jun (though accurate) were so deceptive my heart was broken at the end of vol.3

[ibeewashere]

I genuinely cannot describe how deeply DEVASTATED I am about riz being the only one who can take stress tokens for the others. Yes fig is a protector and will fight endlessly for her friends and I love that about her but there is something about the way riz loves his friends. It’s a more subtle kind of love, but just as relentless and passionate and he will take any burden for the people he cares about and bear the weight of it on his shoulders so they don’t have to deal with it without any hesitation. I am ILL.

#the way that murph immediately volunteered to take a stress token for Kristen without skipping a beat #AND THEN HE TOOK A FUCKING SECOND ONE WHEN THEY STILL ROLLED BAD #something something you will dig until your own hands are bleeding something something #god that quote still haunts me I will never stop thinking about it I swear to god #he works so hard #and he doesn’t ever ask for any recognition or anything in return because just helping is enough #making sure the people he loves are okay is enough for him #this stupid little goblin man makes me want to throw up /pos #he just cares so deeply for everyone around him #i love him so dearly #my silly little fella #dimension 20 #fantasy high #d20 #riz gukgak #fantasy high junior year #OH AND DONT FUCKING THINK FOR A SECOND THAT IM NOT GONNA TALKING ABOUT GORGUG MOTHERFUCKING THISTLESPRING. BECAUSE THIS BITCH /aff #he’s going to have so many stress tokens by the end of this it’s so unfunny and it is making me unwell #I just. I just want them all to be okay and happy and not stressed and GODS they all need a fucking hug #they’re all traumatized and stressed and stupid and silly and I love them all so so much #eats them #puts them in a blender #throws them into a washing machine and watches them spin around #sobs violently #I’m so ill about them #sorry for the rant #i will be back #and I will talk more I’m not actually sorry that’s mb #the tags are like a whole ass paragraph of text but that’s okay #i just think they're neat

[aquickstart]

ok sure i'll talk about farleigh start. i'll talk about his tragedy of never being enough as it were and then having to deal with fucking oliver. sure. disclaimer: it's about class (and race) and the horrible reality of the rich. the horrible reality of living as farleigh.

another disclaimer: i'm white! and poc definitely pick up on everything i'm talking about here as it is, and better. i was and am specifically interested in farleigh vs. oliver but it's impossible to examine without considering race. definitely let me know if anything abt this sucks!

farleigh and oliver are similar. it's annoying because every intruder that is not himself is annoying, partly because felix's attention swaying from farleigh is dangerous; there is always a threat of being discarded, even if no precedent existed. the potential is terrifying.

but you'd think he's seen this before, every summer (if venetia is telling the truth) or at least often enough to learn to recognize it fast, so he should know this will pass. part of it is i think still the deep anxiety, and i think he hated every boy that was there before, and it is sort of routine.

but definitely a huge factor in farleigh's annoyance is the fact that he's a biracial (black for cattons, that's all they see) man in a white rich household. he's alert and exhausted all the time. of course he's angry at oliver, regardless of whether he's the first to crash at saltburn for the summer or the fifty-first.

but the important thing is this.

farleigh is very jealous of and angry and pissed at oliver because farleigh sees all the similarities between them. outsider, in financial trouble, whatever it is, in need of cattons; and yet oliver is preferred. and farleigh seems to be the only one to really consider it. felix does not pick up on the hint when farleigh brings up the birthday party vs. his mother. felix's clumsy "different or... anything like that" is as much about race as it is about class, of course. the "we've done all that we can" bit is felix absolving himself of guilt because surely they had, surely the mysterious collective cattons that he's not really part of had tried all they could do. to him, farleigh is different from oliver, because farleigh has been helped. felix is rich and white and twofold uncomfortable with farleigh, even if he's nice about it, even if he genuinely enjoys his company; he doesn't look too close at farleigh because he feels too guilty to come too close. and farleigh can't do anything about it. he can't nice himself into it. the fucking tragedy of him is that he's never enough in the world of the ultra-rich white, even if (especially because!) he's born into it.

farleigh is very pissed at oliver because farleigh also sees all the differences between them. you know who can be nice poor white enough to fit in? fucking oliver. felix says "just be yourself, they'll love you" when oliver first moves in. farleigh was also probably told the same thing, and felix also probably believed that farleigh could just be himself, but even if the cattons were magically not racist at all (impossible), it wouldn't make a difference to farleigh. he would still self-censor, keep in check, be in dangerous waters (because racism is not just about the individual, but about the system). we see that he'd won himself leeway by years of trial and error by the way he speaks to the family, but it's still within the boundaries of acceptable, built by the cattons. he's part of them because they allow it, and farleigh is very, very aware.

the annoying thing is oliver can be himself. like, truly, genuinely, he can just be. and farleigh can't help but envy that.

as a side note, oliver is obviously jealous of farleigh in the beginning as well, because regardless of the reality of farleigh's situation, he was born into it, and hence, at least in oliver's mind, has his position solidified. oliver's whole thing is unquenchable thirst and hunger for whatever and everything the cattons have (including themselves!). he wishes to have been a catton from birth. to oliver, at first, there's nothing farleigh can really do to lose it. and until he figures out the cattons completely, he can't help but envy that.

but i think farleigh senses something different about oliver early on. at least on the level of the text, we have "you're almost passing [for] a real, human boy", which is so important because farleigh is the first to point out oliver's weirdness. the next to do so is venetia in the bath scene calling him a freak, but it's too late. farleigh is too early.

and i like to think he clocks oliver too early because he sees the jagged edges that he recognizes in himself. i think that one other thing that farleigh envies is oliver's freedom to let go. freedom to let go is very similar to freedom to be, but not quite the same.

to be is about perception: farleigh knows he cannot fall out of line, but would like to, and oliver does not have to worry about it at all (i mean, he does, because oliver also performs for felix, but farleigh doesn't know that).

to let go is about the self: farleigh is too scared to even want what oliver eventually does, to even consider the possibility. oliver can let himself want. oliver can let himself act. oliver just can do things and want things. i'm not sure farleigh can.

and so in this scene, when oliver's wants and actions have landed him nowhere with farleigh, felix, venetia, the cattons, of course farleigh gloats. he can let himself do that, because if the cattons are slowly discarding him, farleigh can allow himself this one small victory. he's relieved because despite the dangerous similarities, oliver is, thankfully, not really the same as farleigh, right?

but like. this movie is a love letter to all things gothic. oliver is a white man. he prevails. the brief performance that oliver put on did eventually end up more effective than farleigh's lifetime of constraint. my heart fucking breaks for him to be honest.

the issue that remains is the fact of farleigh's survival. i like to think that oliver came to respect him. oliver is smart, but farleigh is clever. he picks up on everything oliver does (to refer back to the karaoke scene, farleigh immediately retaliates in the cleverest way, in the moment), and he's the only one to do so consistently (venetia, again, for example, comes close, but too late; oliver doesn't like that, there's nothing to work with). hence, stay with me for a little longer, the paradox: farleigh survives because he was never enough for the cattons, but he is very worthy of oliver's attention. in his own freaky way, oliver wants him. look at that.

so. farleigh. farleigh might come back. he always comes back. and i think oliver wants to try harder next time.

#saltburn #farleigh start #i think someone mentioned how the race commentary was fleeting in that scene abt his mom but i disagree #it runs thru the whole movie #because oliver is white and because they're pitted against each other #im not saying its the best commentary ever and also like the movie is not about it at all #but it's there and it's pretty prominent #also on a completely different note can we talk about how oliver correctly assumed everyone at saltburn desires him carnally #dude pulled all the bitches by being strange and off-putting. i mean i completely get it. completely get it. i'd fold so fast you've no ide #also while i was writing i realized that yes indeed both farleigh and oliver perform for felix and its so fascinating #and it works for oliver because of course it does because hes white #anyway! again! let me know if this sucks #in like any way at all #i needed a masterpost of all and every thought i have about farleigh #i think this pretty much covers it so i'll let it go now #HES SO. like do you UNDERSTAND #the DEFINITION of doomed by the narrative but i LOVE that he survives #as he SHOULD #emerald is so right. he does come back and quickstart just torture each other in that house forever. besties for life #god im gonna shut up now this is so horrendously long #mine #saltburn journaling

[deeva-arud]

Deeva Årud - Club Wear Voice Lines

When Summoned: Lights dimmed, tension building up… Are you ready to feel our rhythm? Summon Line: Playing music with friends is fun, I’m glad to be here even though I’m starting to feel a bit nervous.

Groooovy!!: We’d be delighted to see you at our next show. Spotting a familiar face among the crowd is always nice. Home: “Let’s rock and roll”, as some would say. Home Idle 1: I joined the Pop Music Club on my second year. Perhaps it’s quite a drastic change from my previous club but… it’d be a lie to say I’m not enjoying my time here. Home Idle 2: Most of the time I’m the one suggesting we should practice, but somehow Lilia, Cater and Kalim always distract me with all these unknown snacks and gadgets. Sometimes I have the feeling they do it on purpose… Home Idle 3: I need to warm my hands, it’s hard playing an instrument when they’re cold. Home Idle – Login: *humming Piece of My World* Ah- sorry, I didn’t see you there. Can I help you with something? Home Idle – Groovy: I’ve been playing violin and other instruments since I was a kid. My family has always had a connection with music and I’ll gladly continue this legacy. Conveying your thoughts and feelings through sounds is quite satisfactory. Home Tap 1: My first concert with them? Since it was the first time I’d be playing in front of many people, I knew I’d have a hard time trying to look at the audience. Cater noticed and told me to look at him so I could feel less overwhelmed… Let’s say I didn’t expect him to be so literal. His clones substituted the audience because no one came to see us. Home Tap 2: Hm, my violin? Indeed, it’s not the same one I use at Mostro Lounge. An electric violin is more suitable for the club’s activities. I’m surprised you noticed it. That means someone’s been paying too much attention to the musician playing ambience music… That was a joke. Home Tap 3: Kalim and I joined the club in the same year so I got to see how much he’s improved his drumming technique. It’s impressive. Certainly, Lilia’s been an excellent teacher to him. Home Tap 4: I like the idea of having customized masks for our performances. Maybe I should mention it once we have enough funds. Home Tap 5: I recently accepted to do some vocals just for our club sessions. You can come see us, but please refrain from telling everyone else. At the moment, I only feel comfortable singing for a few people. Home Tap – Groovy: When it comes to a band like this many wouldn’t think of a violinist, but that actually gives songs an interesting feeling, don’t you think? Duo: [DEEVA]: Ready for a shocking performance, Cater? [CATER]: Ready as ever, Dee-chan!

#To any violinist in the room: I tried :'] #I can probably get away with some details since she's not actually playing here #more like positioning her violin/posing #but yeah. An attempt was made #I actually had to redo the whole card because I didn't like how the old one looked #and if it reminds you of something it's probably because I kind of borrowed Lilia's face shape #it was my last resort after drawing 20 heads and not being fully convinced by any of them HDSGSH #the rest is obviously brought to you by my own suffering #Oh and some extra info about Home Tap 1: #Deeva actually kept looking at Cater on stage out of habit even after they gained some listeners #sometimes the poor guy thinks she's glancing at him because he made a mistake or something lmao #Talking about Cater. One of the reason she joined this club was because she promised it to him #when they were first years she didn't know there was a music club like that #and Mr CayCay here informed her a little bit too late of the existence of the PMC #Also unrelated to what I was saying #but please imagine she says “let's rock and roll” with the most monotonous voice ever #zero spirit in those words #until she picks up her violin and the rock and roll starts rock-and-rolling #it's funnier that way #The need I feel to talk a lot under my art posts needs to be studied #twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland oc #twst oc #Deeva twst #my art

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Horse Yaoi trotted so Horsegirl Yuri could fly.

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #equineswap au #wei wuxian #lan wangji #little apple #xiao pingguo #lan wunian #This is the first and second kiss I've ever drawn. And its horse yaoi and horsegirl yuri. Wouldn't want it any other way tbh. #And with that...Horse week has come to a close #Not the end of this AU mind you; I'll still throw some doodles in here & there and reblog any fanart #The concept behind this was to make something with the vibes of that one picture with the guys holding girls up on their shoulders #so the girls can kiss. And the guys are kissing too. I hope someone knows what I'm talking about. #Maybe one day I'll draw the unswapped version. Ill flip a coin to decide whether or not wangxian are carrying their equines or riding them #Thank you all so much for the extremely enthusiastic reception to my equineswap AU #The love for both sides of the swap has blow me away. These designs have been sitting around for a while and I wasn't sure I'd post them. #In the end it became a way to celebrate a follower milestone *and* this blog's 3 month anniversary #also...It has been a hard few weeks and I needed something light and fun. I really mean it when I say “you guys helped me pull through” #Love you all B'*)

[fujii-draws]

Redraws of one of my first dadnoir posts :]!!

EXTRA >:]]

#pmd eos #pmd art tag #Eevee/Ribbons #Riolu/Aimilios #pmd Dusknoir #dadnoir #AH YES. WHERE MY DELUSIONS OFFICIALLY BEGAN. (JOKING) #had to add the last one because I love the idea of Kangaskhan calling it out early on #AND DUSKNOIR PANICKING AND GOING ‘’????? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. IM NO FATHER.’’ (HOLDING TWO SLEEPING CHILDREN GENTLY IN HIS ARMS) #GOD THEIR INTERACTIONS WOULD BE SO FUNNY #‘​‘I hope you love the joys of parenthood as much as I have! I could always give you some pointers if you ever need any dear!’’ DUSKNOIR:

[ritoryb]

if (and) only (if) we could cross the great expanse

(stole the composition from an utena screenshot)

#xenoblade chronicles #my drawing #xenoblade #galea #alvis #klaus #if youre wondering its the episode where miki talks with mikage i just dont know which that is.... :/ #what the hell is that caption. ok have any of you ever watched that dictionary anime? no? well whatever just take this i need to do my hw #this is really rushed sorry usually i spend more than like 2ish hour on stuff

[nbnaruto]

For the older grayson brother danny au, realistically Danny would meet all of Dick's younger siblings gradually but the idea all of them meeting him all at once is so funny to me. Even better if none of them knew Dick had an older brother (and 2 older sisters), Dick just mentions he can't hang out with one of them in the gc because he's hanging out with his older brother and all the batkids are like "wtf are you talking about?" Dick swears he's mentioned Danny (and jazz and ellie) at least once but all of them swear they've never heard those names before. Cue the meeting, they've decided to meet at Mcdonald's or sumn and right before they get to the mcdonalds Dick stresses that they should be on their best behaviour cuz Danny and Co aren't from Gotham and they are Normal Civilians TM, they turn the corner and see McDonalds is getting robbed, they rush in to find Danny beating the shit out of the thief with a napkin holder like outta that scene in shameless, Jazz is getting a first aid kit ready and Ellie is cheering in the background

#this is a crack au so i can say what i want :) #dp x dc #danny phantom #i dont think Danny could keep the whole ghost thing also ellie is my clone thing secret esp from Dick who is nosey as hell but its funny #also the thought of 18yr old Danny flying around with 14yr old Dick on his shoulders is incredibly endearing to me #BUT Dick thinking Danny and the rest of the fentons are freaks but like normal freaks is also incredibly funny #Danny shows 12yr old Dick how to make a bazooka with ingredients you find in any normal household #dick who is 12 and has been a vigilante since he was 9 is just like wow :D coolest brother ever and doesnt think twice #its also funny if Danny was alluded to for years but because of assumptions nobody even knew about it #dick says sorry i got to help my brother with something in front of one of the batkids and they assume hes talking about one of them #or using them as an excuse to get out of something #in reality Danny wanted to hang out with his lil bro so he convinced dick he needs help building a functional rocket or sumn #older grayson bro au #mine

[lunarharp]

"Found out" set in kind of a made-up chapter where the girls are in trouble, or something.

#witch hat tag #orufrey #i hate having a strong cinematic image in your mind for months..working hours on it..& at the end looking you have to be like “Sure. :/" #i'm especially unsatisfied with the beginning and the end and how i can't get eyebrows to work as i want #but i dont care any more... this is probably the comic that has given me the most trouble ever i just dont care #i barely even care whatsoever if anyone even sees this..Ugh..but at least i can move on to the next era now #i'm just annoyed i cant get out good enough my image of qifrey flinching bc he thinks oru will hit him but then he is not hit #i feel like sensei will do something along these lines. i want to see what she will do. #there are also other variations i have in my mind. i just want to know #i just don't want it to happen with qifrey on his deathbed or something. but it possibly will. I DONT EVEN KNOW. #i have another very cinematic image in my mind for something sort of along those lines which i will do soon. it never ends... #btw after this is probably my fics. yeah.... i think it has to be my fics. jasmine sort of goes along these lines #i need that space for dialogue. look - i'm a writer. this is HARD for me. so i am really glad i had the space and freedom of words #to process all the feelings. but i tried to get something out in a quick visual space too. <- me defending myself to myself at cai court #anyway going along the lines of 'Jasmine' - they talk this out and argue and cry and oru pushes the hat at him and tells him #why not just erase every memory i have of you then. That would be easier for us all wouldn't it? #they kiss and sob and kiss and lie outside in the flowers for many hours in that one. and then there's 'Deep End' where it turns out #way way way way more time and words is needed for this actually and that's upsetting for everyone. #the destruction of the hat is certainly another path to take. Can you make this work without that hat going up in flames? #something you have always had and have been clinging to will have to be destroyed. You have to lose something now. This is the crux qifrey #I CANT GET IT OUT IN ONE COMIC!!! I CANT DRAW IT OUT!!!! I NEEDED THOSE FICS!!!! PRAISE WORDS!!!! whatever im going to have dinner now

[gayofthefae]

It's the fact that it's not just that their actions are suspicious/indicative of them knowing they have feelings for each other, but their actual dynamic itself has gotten closer. You can feel the build-up without the plot-pertinent conflict around the romance. The romance itself is at its core there too with the tv-typical buildup.

They weren't this close in season 1. We often talk about it as them always having been different and then realizing but they DO have momentum. They WEREN'T this close. Like any other love story, they have been falling in love in front of us, not just noticing themselves.

They were close, closer than the others it seemed. Then they built on that in season 2 - practicing their close dynamic more and getting more used to it one-on-one, building to Mike telling Will how important he was to him near the climax of the season. In season 3, they fought for the first time, breaking some very important relationship ice, in my opinion, fighting. In doing so, they opened up a conversation about their future. One that, even if they didn't continue it, was now out in the open and they knew that the other knew, and that affects dynamics as well. This ended for the season with Mike purposefully subtextually validating that he wanted that future with Will too. closer. In season 4, they fought again, repeating more directly this new dynamic of saying their feelings out in the open, asking "What am I to you? Am I still important to you? As important as I used to be?" and working their way back. Mike took a big step forward in their relationship by not just letting it be swept under the rug like in the past but coming back to address it and voluntarily iterate how much Will means to him and apologize. That indicated to Will that he might be able to do the same, though he ultimately backed out via the El cover-up.

They have built up. Even if their dynamic has remained the same, they have over the course of the seasons been working more and more up in ability to talk with each other about their feelings. That is what needs a climax in season 5 for their relationship. And for "we're slowly improving at acknowledging the feelings we already have" as an arc, there need to be more unspoken feelings than the "you're my best friend" we've established in past intimate conversations.

#stranger things #byler #byler arc #byler analysis #byler isn't just cute like any other queercoded ship #they have BUILDUP #and we never talk about it and we need to #they have been getting progressively closer emotionally to the point of *kissing* (teehee) #but really just admitting their feelings the buildup itself is very verbal based actually #1) it was a seven. 2) it was the best thing i've ever done 3) i guess i did 4) it's not the same without you #also just noticed that it alternates who initiates it which is awesome #it goes will mike will mike #go them man #better at relationships than me fr #wait til i find out that's literally the whole point of me being a shipper #they're better than me and i am living vicariously through that