#If you think that I will become my intrusive thoughts because of “manifestation” or “the universe” I think you're fucking stupid

[meet-you-at-the-cemetery-gates]

Saw somebody say that intrusive thoughts are manifestation. I'm about to go fucking postal on these superstitious, ableist motherfuckers.

#rant #ocd #actually ocd #actually mentally ill #Look I get everybody has their own spiritual beliefs #but if yours hurts an already vulnerable group I will speak against it #I cannot control my thoughts! That's why they're intrusive! #I do not want to do the terrible things my brain tells me to do #and those things my brain wants me to do would land me in prison because of how vile they are #They will never come true and I don't want them to #If you think that I will become my intrusive thoughts because of “manifestation” or “the universe” I think you're fucking stupid #Get in touch with reality and stop hurting mentally ill people #shit like this is why I'm an atheist ffs

[honeywiththemoneyloa222]

Why the Void State is so easy?

When bloggers say the void is easy

They’re not lying

Here’s why

Every time you fall asleep you lose awareness of the 3D

During this time

Everything around you does not exist because you are in your 4D

Which is why entering the void is easy

You’re doing EXACTLY what you do when you fall asleep

You just lose awareness of the 3D!!!

Only difference is now

You’re doing it on purpose

You’re just becoming aware that you are pure consciousness

There are lots of moments in life where we are no longer aware of focusing on the 3D

When we zone out in class

Daydreaming about our crush

Thinking what we’re gonna do when we get home from school or whatever

During these moments we do not focus on the 3D

And it feels good

To daydream

About our desires if about our favorite person or food of whatever

Because in that particular situation you are just thinking of something that makes you feel good

You’ve ever daydreamed so hard you can physically feel what you’re imagining? It takes you away from your reality

Which is why people snap their fingers at you to snap you back into “reality”

But What is reality?

Reality to me

Is whatever you assume

Whatever you want

If you’re sitting in class hungry

But you’re daydreaming about a juicy cheeseburger

I mean think about it

It’s got the perfect amount of cheese

Lettuce tomato onions the meat is cooked to your desire crispy or soft buns

(Damn I’m getting hungry)

Be honest

You just went

“Mmm” didn’t you?

Because when you daydream

It results in feelings cuz our body it reacting to whatever we’re thinking about causing emotions

Emotions play a key part in our self confidence

If you think negatively you’ll feel bad about yourself

Think positive thoughts and you’ll feel good

It’s this easy because you’re simply giving your positive thoughts a label and by labeling them you’re giving them importance

So when it comes to the void state

Reality Shifting manifesting Lucid Dreaming etc whatever

Feel

The key is to FEEL

Your thoughts

Feel your desires as you visualize them

Many people label things and give it importance

By saying you “failed” to enter the void of to shift

You’re giving it power and importance

STOP DOING THAT ✋

Because the only powerful thing here is you

There’s nothing in this world you can’t have Sugar

If you want it a you it is yours

Like

It’s yours

Failure in my opinion IS an option if you assume you’ll fail

Then you will

Don’t make this an option for yourself

“I’m gonna TRY to enter the void tonight”

Yeah bitch that’s exactly what you always do

You TRY

You gave that word importance

By doing so

You’re only stuck thinking and feeling

That all you are able to do is TRY

No you are GOING TO

There’s no trying there’s doing

When we call ourselves a procrastinator or lazy we give that word importance

By giving it that label

We’re making it harder for us to change our ways

When we say we are depressed

We’re giving it power

STOP PUTTING LABELS ON SHIT THAT DOESN’T EVEN RESONATE WITH YOU

So when meditating for the void

Your desires are that cheeseburger(sorry for any vegans here)

Thoughts create feelings

When we think about something bad

Like

“Omg what if this what if that?”

Etc

You’re going to start panicking

Mental disorders, intrusive thoughts are JUST like this

Coming from someone who used to deal with countless mental issues

I’ve been knowing this

So think about it the longer we let in unwanted thoughts we go crazy obsessing over them to the point where we start hearing or seeing things because our minds told us so

This is what created delusion fear

And something as simple as a thought could cause you to feel very negative thing as if it were real

If you think about something negative and it creates negative feelings and energy

Not only did you give it power but you’re letting it consume your energy

Why?

If you can think negatively

You can think positively

Like I said before

It’s YOUR brain

Why are you fighting it?

You’re fighting yourself OVER yourself and you’re still losing??? Huh

Babe how you losing a war that YOU started??

And why are you letting fuck ass thoughts that don’t resonate with you win?

If it doesn’t resonate with your soul it’s not meant for you and if it’s not meant for you then it will never be true

Because thoughts are thoughts

They’re the results of whatever you spend our time obsessing over

If you’re always talking about your crush

You’re gonna think about them 24/7 right?

Stop thinking

Start feeling

It’s ok to daydream

But don’t constantly think and obsess over your desires

Because of f you already had your desired bf or your desired face you wouldn’t obsess over it

LIVE IN THE END

This is your movie

If you you can skip to the best part and just stay there

Life is a movie

Who cares if nobody comes to watch and support

Who cares if it’s not interesting for some people

It only has to make sense for you

It only has to make you happy

The 3D is just here

The 4D is the REAL reality

In the 4D you are everything you wanna be

In the 3D you are not

Why?

Well bitch you’re not connecting with your 4D self

Because your 4D self

Is YOU

The 3D is dead

3D you exists because of her assumptions

You might think this is clicking

But the 4D you gets it

The 3D you does not

She needs to disconnect from HER reality

In order to be in tune with her 4D reality

So she can live in her real true reality

You need to connect with your 4D

The 3D is the cover of a book

It can be changed if you(the author) doesn’t like it

But the 4D is the inside of the book once it’s been published

You’re the author of your own life

Don’t hand someone else the pen

Create the story(reality) that YOU want to see and live in

Add new characters

Create plot twists

Because the best thing about being the author of your own life

Is nobody gets to tell you how to write your story

If you don’t like how you’re living

Turn the page💗💗

#law of assumption #law of attraction #void #void state #law of manifestation #manifesting #manifesation #loassblog #loassumption #subliminals #loa blog #loa success #law of the universe #loablr #loa tumblr #guided meditation #desired reality #reality shifting #shiftblr #shifting community

[remcycl333]

define: states 🫶

also known as: how to manifest using states!

your state is what manifests, not your thoughts.

this has become a very inflammatory sentence for some, but it shouldn't be scary. states simplify manifestation, it doesn't complicate it.

at the beginning of my loa journey, i would affirm alllll day long. while watching tv, while reading, while hanging out with my friends. and by the logic of "your dominant thoughts manifest," i should've gotten my manifestations after only a few days of that. but i didn't, because dominant thoughts aren't what manifests, it's your state that manifests.

you are not a state. you are I Am, and you enter in and out of states all day long. there is an infinite number of states, and no one experiences states the same way. so even if two people are manifesting the same thing (for example, money), the State of Being Rich will probably look different for both of them. so there's really no one specific way a state should look/feel!

because there are an infinite number of states you can occupy, right now you have the power to be rich, just as much as you have the power to be poor. it is just as easy to occupy the state of being rich as it is the state of being poor. you are both of these things, and you know that you are both of these things because you can imagine being both of these things, and everything stems from your imagination.

the state that you consistently go to, also known as your dwelling state, is the state that manifests into your 3d reality.

so, how do you get into a state?

you switch states simply by intending to. the second you want to switch states, you do. in order to maintain this new state, you can use a technique such as affirming, scripting, or visualizing.

let's talk about affirming.

affirming is a TECHNIQUE. some people argue that since affirmations are just thoughts, you can never stop affirming and should be monitoring your thoughts all day long. i do not agree with this.

your thoughts do not manifest. it's why i spent my time from summer 2020-summer 2021 affirming on a constant loop 24/7 that i was in a relationship with my [old] sp, and it never manifested. it's why when you get intrusive thoughts they don't manifest. it's why--even tho every time you go to the bathroom you check behind the shower curtain in case something's there--nothing ever is. it's also why you were able to manifest something by thinking you wanted it once.

you do not need to "create new neural pathways" or think in your favor 24/7. your negative thoughts act as indicators that you fell out of your desired state, and you can instantly correct this by shifting back to the state of the wish fulfilled. you don't even need to flip the thought. your thoughts have no power, unless you give them power by allowing them to let you wallow in the state of lack.

all that being said, affirmations can help you maintain your desired state. i say maintain, because getting into the state is instant, and requires no technique. however, there is such thing as affirming from lack.

what is affirming from lack? it's affirming to get what you want. it's affirming from a state of not having your desire. it's the same as thinking of your desire, instead of thinking from your desire.

a few months ago, the 10k challenge was going around. it was marketed as a fool-proof way to get your manifestation, because all you had to do was "affirm 10k times to create a new neural pathway which created an assumption." yet so many people affirmed 10k+ times and still didn't get their desire. why? because they were affirming from lack.

quality > quantity. you can affirm 10k times and not get your desire, because you weren't in your desire state. you can affirm once and get your desire, because you were in the state.

so how do you not affirm from lack?

an easy way is to pay attention to your affirmations. mindless affirming is out! this shouldn't be a scary thing to hear, because as we discussed, there's no need for you to affirm 5 million times in order to reach some imaginary quota, because your thoughts don't manifest.

affirm with purpose! create an affirmation that implies you already have your desire, and repeat it with the purpose of conjuring the feeling of knowing. the feeling of knowing may feel like calm, peace, relief, contentment, or even excitement. when Neville Goddard said "feeling is the secret," this is the feeling he was talking about, NOT emotions.

if your affirmations are making you feel anxious, this can indicate one of two things:

affirming is not the technique for you (which is OKAY!!)

you're affirming to get

"affirming to get" is a big debate as well. yes, you are manifesting your desire because you want to get it in your 3D. but in order to get it in your 3D, you must change your 4D first. so you should be using techniques such as affirming in order to change your 4D, knowing that if you change your 4D, your 3D will follow. there is no one to change but self.

if affirming is not the technique for you, there is always visualizing, scripting, vaunting, etc.

also the distraction technique, my fav way to get into the state of the wish fulfilled! hehe

to sum it up:

"it's not focusing so much on getting the objects, but becoming the one who already has it." - Edward Art

where does persisting come in?

you should still be persisting in the fact that you already have your desire. you persist by consistently shifting back to your desired state, no matter what you see in the 3D.

reacting to the 3D, like negative thoughts, is an indicator that you have slipped from your desired state.

it can be very beneficial for you to have self-soothing tactics to use in case your 3D causes you to spiral or makes you anxious. these can include eft tapping, breathing exercises, etc.

your 3D is malleable. if you see something in your 3D that you don't like, you can change it. your 3D is simply a reflection of your dwelling state. if you don't see what you want in your 3D, let it serve as a reminder to shift your state back to your desired state. once again, you change your 4D to change your 3D. there is no one to change but self.

FAQ

question: if you can affirm to get into a state, doesn't that mean your thoughts create your state and that your thoughts technically manifest?

answer: WRONG! like i've mentioned earlier in this post, you enter a state by intention. affirming can help you maintain the state, but your thoughts do not create your state. your state creates your thoughts. every state has thoughts that correspond with it, which is why can manufacture affirmations that imply you already have your desire and repeat them to conjure the feeling of knowing. it's also why negative thoughts act as indicators that you fell out of the state.

question: isn't that the same as someone saying "just assume?"

answer: NO! there are techniques to help you maintain the state. yes entering a state is instant, but there are techniques for you to use to stay in it.

question: are states ableist?

answer: NO!!!! this is something that people are saying on loatwt in order to villainize the people who teach states, and it's frankly disgusting. ANYONE can get into a state, even if they are neurodivergent! you are always in a state! you're in a state right now. i am neurodivergent, as are most of my friends that are states enthusiasts, and it has helped all of us to manifest our desires without driving ourselves to mental exhaustion by affirming 24/7.

question: how long do i have to stay in the wish fulfilled?

answer: it's not so much about how long you stay in the state, it's about frequency. no, not frequency as the law of attraction vibration bullshit, but how often you go back to the state. if you think about your desire 15 times a day, you should shift back into the state 15 times that day. if you think about your desire 5 times, then you should shift back into the state 5 times that day.

hopefully this helps clarify the idea of states for you, and helps you manifest your desires!! <3

#law of assumption #states #neville goddard #loass #manifesting

[themanifestingbrat]

Indifference

Update! We are no longer reacting to our "negative" or "intrusive" thoughts! We are no longer going to give any attention to thoughts that do not align to the Self we now claim to be.

Practice not reacting to a thought that you no longer identify with. Even saying, "NO!" or "No, I am not," is still technically giving it attention. Because attention is reacting.

"Well, wtf am I supposed to do when I get these thoughts?!"

Don't do anything, don't say anything. You don't need to waste your energy. If you catch yourself reacting, just stop and go to the inner man. You might want know if the thought will come again or if you did things "right," but don't. Give all your attention and focus to the new state.

"This is the art of forgiveness. I do not care if at one point you were insecure in yourself and you made mistakes, if this does not conform to your new State, then do not react to it. If you must, observe it, and practice not reacting. Practice not speaking to it. The move on and feel deserving to move on." - Edward Art

The more you practice this, the more you will feel in control and you will longer feel like a victim towards your thougts. Because you will realize, it was you all along. It was you holding onto these unwanted thoughts.

It is ok to completely let them go. Forgive yourself and move to the fulfilled inner man. If a "bad" thought arises, then practice indifference.

Remember, these thoughts are not in control. They follow a state, so simply shift to the desired state and do not look back.

Now I could stop here but for the girlies that need more explaination, please continue.

Let's say you're manifesting beauty and then had a thought that you were ugly. You react to this thought and all these feelings and emotions come. You're most likely in the state of being insecure and since it's most familar, it's easier to believe it. Then you stop yourself and say something like "No, I won't go there." You're proud you were able to catch yourself and know that if the thought comes up again you can stop it by saying, "Nope, not going there..."

But you end up in this pattern where the same thoughts, coming from a state of insecurity, show up and you keep fighting against it. You might even be left thinking, "I'm fighting against these thoughts and flipping it, why don't I feel better, where's my beauty?"

Guess what? You don't need to fight against that thought. You also need to realize that thought is created by you because it's coming from a State! In this example, your state was insecurity. So, instead of reacting or fighting against these thoughts, just change your state, change the feeling towards yourself. Feel beautiful. Realize that feeling beautiful is a state and you are now beautiful. Not will be, not soon to be, but now.

“To dissolve a problem that now seems so real to you all that you do is remove your attention from it… Become indifferent and begin to feel yourself to be that which would be the solution of the problem.” 'Indifference truly is the answer to your doubts.' - Neville Goddard

You deserve all the great things in life. You deserve everything you want and more! There is no one or nothing out there that is going to stop you, so dare to feel limitless and let go of any thought that does not agree.

#mine<3 #loa #loa success #law of assumption #loa affirmations #neville goddard #edward art #law of attraction #loa blog #loa manifestation #loassumption #manifesation #loa methods #manifest #manifesting #mental diet #desired reality #dream life #wish fulfillment #law of manifestation #law of allowing #living in the end

[rifualk]

On Mental Health and Cosmic Embarrassment

I don't usually make a post in the aftermath of one of my spirals, so I bet most people see some of the vent posts I make, and assume I am just off my meds or something. I am on them but I might not be on the right ones. This is a thing that happens to me sometimes. I have psychotic episodes, where it feels like the things I am saying are completely inconsequential and I genuinely believe no one cares what I'm saying or, worst of all, that it cannot scare anyone that cares about me. I get too tired to fight my intrusive thoughts and I just ride them out. Most of my thoughts are not ones I enjoy having. I have trouble parsing what is real sometimes. For most of my life, out of a kind of primal shame and terror of being perceived or judged, I beat myself into believing that I just roleplayed as a crazy person online because I wanted attention for it, but it finally clicked for me at some point in my 20s that I was, and am, genuinely very mentally ill, maybe in ways that make me not-entirely-functional in the culture I inhabit. Also, I want attention for it.

Life is very embarrassing. I think embarrassment, shame, et al. is probably the most cosmic feeling of them all, because being embarrassed, for me anyway, leads invariably to my OCD extrapolating the embarrassment, no matter how slight, into its natural extreme, becoming a full-blown existential meltdown and often manifesting in some self-punishment. Or a lot of self-punishment. Instead of saying "everyone wants attention, it's not a big deal", my brain will overwhelm me with shame and make me vow to be quieter about the whole thing next time. Good emotions are meant to be expressed, I tell myself, and Bad ones are not. I think it's very unhealthy for people to not express their negative emotions openly. Or maybe I'm psychotic. I mean, I am psychotic. But maybe right now, too.

Ultimately this feeling peaks with the realization - again - that I'm a eukaryote. I live on a spinning ball of stardust in the aftermath of what had to have been a colossal disaster and waste of time. But it happened, and so now there's a bunch of stuff floating around, and some of that stuff started moving for reasons I don't personally understand and the implications of which scare me. And the moving stuff that moved faster got to stay moving longer. And so a chain reaction escalated, and eventually there were very large moving things whose survival adaptations had evolved in such a way that they could conceptualize and communicate complex information about the world around them, but they were also able to conceptualize themselves. This gave them a lot of grief. They wanted very badly for there to be an answer to why they were able to do that. Surely it served some purpose. But we never found one, and here we are.

I don't have a god to turn to. I have tried - earnestly, sincerely, and desperately - to reach out; I never hear back. I don't want to be an atheist, it's heartbreaking. Honestly. I want someone to be up there, or out there. Knowing there isn't, is just... cruel. It's horrifying and it wrenches my heart. Look at us, look how much we're suffering, where the fuck did you go, what the fuck is your problem? Help us!

In spite of everything, I am still not sure what I believe.

Don't you ever just cry about the world? Like, broadly? Don't you ever just have to take off your glasses and wipe the brine from them because you caught a glimpse of what people, as a species, could be capable of? And I get angry at myself, too. What am I doing about it? What even can I do? I can barely hold down a job. I am barely an adult. I am often mired in this feeling. It permeates everything. I'm living in a tragedy - not just my own, but millions and millions of others'. This is a nightmare. It's a nightmare and I'm an embarrassment, and my brain doesn't work right, and I'm living in a terrible reality that is shared by everyone, and yet somehow equally isolating and alienating to all of us. Does it have to be that way? Aren't we all lonely?

When I am spiraling I really do think that the end is near, either for me, or for everyone, or for both. To be fair, my confidence about humanity's future is not promising even when I am at my most sane. But in this kind of emotional place, the stakes are too high for me to care that what I say might come off as upsetting. It is completely overwhelming. I see my life up to this point, and I see how long I've been alive and realize I'm very Not Normal and I look and sound different than everyone around me and I'm an embarrassment. It's embarrassing to exist. It's embarrassing to be transgender, too. It's really, really embarrassing to be mentally ill and fully aware of it all the time. It's shameful. I am ashamed of how my family likely sees me. How my peers see me. I'm just a walking disaster. I feel like this bars me from leading a happy life or finding some success in art - It doesn't seem like you're allowed to be quite this much of a problem and "get away with it", does it? There's a bit of social sanitizing at work there - you are only allowed to be a certain level of messed up and if you pass that you're sort of a pariah. I don't think I've ever done anything pariah-worthy, but I can only see things from the inside of my own head, and there's a lot of unwanted noise in here.

I painted this when I lived in Oregon. I don't know how. I could not do art like this again if asked.

I'm not in a good place, generally-speaking. It could be worse - and it was for a long time- but it's still just not great. There are two reasons for this. One is that I'm very homesick. The other is that I found - and subsequently lost - my twin. But I only want to talk about the first reason right now - I grew attached to the Pacific Northwest in a way I've never really grown attached to any other place. It had a quality that exists nowhere else. It resonated with me immediately and I knew right away from the moment I first set foot there that it was my home. I grew to be a part of it, and it's the only place I felt I somewhat-belonged... I have been away from Oregon for 2 whole years as of next month. I feel like I'm a fish out of water, or a sapling in the wrong soil. I can't and won't say that the place I live currently is a bad place, but it isn't my place, and the disconnect has been maybe the nastiest shock to my system in all my life. Finding the place I loved, and living for over 12 years there, only to be wrenched away from it so suddenly, left a shock on me that I think has yet to surface in my work. I'm excited to see what form it takes when it does. Location is very important to my mental wellbeing, more than I think it is for most people. Maybe I am a plant. It's also very important for my art. I've struggled to find inspiration since I moved here. That said, I've had the very precious opportunity to just work on myself - on my transition, as well as my personal issues. I think I'm getting better, gradually, in some way. I have a job now, at least. So it's not entirely bad. I even grew sunflowers last summer.

Around this time I got banned from twitter, but I don't feel any shame about the reason why because I believe in my message. But it forced me to be a lot less active online for a long time. It also made me lose a lot of support. That's been something I've grappled with a lot these last 2 years - that people really don't like people like me, for reasons that are mostly not our fault. I will likely always be something of an outsider for being who I am now, but I was one before anyway. It's still worth it. I like the person I'm becoming. I feel like only recently did I allow myself to feel this self-love. I was too embarrassed of myself. It took a lot of patience and a lot of de-tangling my self-worth from a lot of trauma. So it's likely I would have needed to go through all of this regardless of where I was.

I still slip up. It's an uphill climb and it's slippery. I like to be transparent about these things. It's a relief - feeling like I need to hide things is my default state and it's lovely to just let go of stuff so I don't need to keep it in my head all the time. I have a lot of hangups still. I get discouraged about my art still - I fear I'll never build myself back up to where I was before, and that there will never be a time when I can really pay the bills with it. Or worse-still, that it just isn't special enough to last. That it isn't remarkable enough to survive after I'm gone. But I think a lot of people who make stuff feel that way, and it's not our fault. There's some relief in that. I'm happy to have even a few people that care about me and my work, and something I've been trying really hard to remember in recent years is to take time to appreciate them. I'm not actually alone. I have a lot of people that love me. I'm not an outsider. I'm very lucky to know the people I do, and I hold a deep regret for all the connections I've let go of because I was just too sick. Deep down I really do wish I could love everyone. I have no ill will towards anyone, not really.

I still don't know what I'm doing. I am just doing my best, I think. I'm really, really tired. I don't want to get any older. I'm scared of the passage of time. My memory is so bad, it feels like time is taken from me without me realizing. I am 33 years old. I do not have 33 years worth of memories. There are huge leaps. Gaps where suddenly I was just older and in more pain. Being adrift in time like this is horrific - one day I will blink, and the present moment may be completely forgotten. It can't go this fast. It just can't. Something has to be wrong. I don't want to die, I don't want to miss out on so much life or be unable to remember it. I don't want to find myself on my deathbed someday way sooner than I think and be unable to string together any kind of coherent thread from my memories. What is it all for? It has to mean something right? Why am I doing anything?

I think I finally understand that love is why. I don't know much more than that. Love is real, and it's the answer. If you find love, don't take it for granted, ever. No love is perfect. Take it with all its flaws. You don't have time to bargain with it. Love like you'll never love again, love like it's your last day alive, love like it will keep you alive forever, because it will. Every year closer to death you get, you will feel the regret of all the times you did not follow your heart. Life is short. I'm finding this out entirely too late. It goes by so fast, and what you have at the end are people and memories of being loved. To be loved is to live forever. It's the thing that connects us to everything else. It's the source and the answer to everything. It makes more sense the older I get. It used to sound cheesy, but I believe it with more sincerity every day.

I kept my last promise to you - there are no new scars on my arms, or bruises on my head or face.

#mental health posting #is there a better tag for that

[nico-esoterica]

Can not stress enough that this is ALL manifestation is. It's just time and attention you put into yourself every day even if it's a shitty day. It can be giving up and choosing to start over tomorrow but instead of beating yourself up you're like, "You know what? Tomorrow will be better." And even if you do wind up beating yourself up, spiraling, and breaking down, it's giving yourself compassion and space to be a messy human and caring for yourself every snot-nosed step of the way.

It's in the little things, honestly. That starts with thinking in your favor at least once a day and continuing that over and over. Then over time your brain adjusts, even if it fights back at first (it's okay!), and something shitty happens and you're like, "I'm gonna make this work anyway," or "I bet this will all work out somehow," and it does. It isn't any overcomplicated and is so bare minimum that a child or someone at their lowest can do it. In my experience, if you can find one thing to tell yourself that thinks in your favor when things are at their worst, you can apply it to any situation. It becomes ingrained in you that you, in fact, CAN make something work.

I know what it's like to have trauma, live in scarcity, and be super neurodivergent w/ intrusive thoughts, etc. What I began relying on is finding a way to Regulate My Nervous System and thinking favorably even if my brain gave me absolute hell over it. But I learned to take care of myself like a plant and began caring about my own (mental) well being by learning not to absorb what was happening to me by being neutral to it and thinking better thoughts. Your perspective inevitably changes or shifts a teeny bit. I personally believe that small steps lead to miles over time, because they do.

Wtf did Glorilla say? Everyday the sun won't shine, but that's why I love tomorrow

#manifestation #loa #lifecoaching #gentle manifestation

[nmoroder]

Hello, I just wanted to ask about the Neverhood AU. Do you have any headcanons related to it, that you could share? For example, how does Crown or its corruption work? Because it seemed to influence corrupted characters quite differently. I'm just wondering…

hi! ohh my headcanons sadly aren't compiled into some list or group for convenience, but i can try to remember smth about the crowns

while thinking about Crowns and Revelations, i presumed that each creator's crown kinda resonates with their desires and overall personality, in case of Hoborg that would be creation itself cuz he set himself a goal of constructing a perfect land and gave quite a lot of time and effort to it. and if one puts on the crown, they get overwhelmed by, forgive me for this word, its vibes and turn to sort of fulfilling the crown owner's will (original owner i mean, Hoborg in our case). so in CaR Shuffle puts on his crown and turns into a creation machine, expressing that urge through transforming everything he sees into something he knows, before the delirium kinda ceased and he realized what he's done to the land around him.

but there's the thing about being overcome by a crown's influence - if your own desire is strong enough, you retain your will and can kinda uhh... feel the inspiration, so to say, like thoughts about cool things you could do but not very intrusive. that's why Klogg didn't dive head first into it as he put on the crown, he had his own plans and was I think pretty determined about them. i mean, he DID create some atrocities later, see the Clockwork Beast and Engine Number Nine or whatever its name was; but it wasn't something he couldn't fight, it was his own desire and he had it even without the crown (see the Engine).

in case of Shuffle, he had no strong desire apart from protecting Hoborg i guess, and considering how he built a shelter underground at that land and hid hybernated Hoborg deep inside, the desire did manifest in those actions. however he still wasn't driven by something personal, he wasn't egoistic in his drive and thus the crown replaced his non-existent egoism for a while.

i guess it can be all described by this sentence: for those lacking a driving force, the crown becomes it instead, otherwise it's a helping hand in achieving your desire.

for corruption itself it's much simpler in my opinion, even though Hoborg strived to make his creatures perfect, they're still his close to first attempt at creating someone, so yeah they just wouldn't handle the power the crown gives. perhaps Klay as a material isn't good enough, who knows

#moroderasks #neverhood #crowns and revelations #i loooove explaining shit. cant do nothing about it

[authenticbunni]

DEALING WITH NEGATIVE THOUGHTS 🧮

I see a lot of people on here (and on other apps) trying to give people advice on how to deal with intrusive thoughts, or unwanted thoughts when manifesting. But the problem with their advice is methods they made for themselves that “work” for them. Which I somewhat fine. But intrusive aren’t something that’s just needs a random method and full routine.

Today I decided to just randomly look up “how to control your mind” not in a manifesting way but in a control your thoughts way. Because intrusive or negative thoughts are professionally dealt with. I stumbled on a article. They talked about the reasoning for intrusive thoughts, how it feels to have them, and how to deal with them. You can go read it if you want or you could read my interpretation of it to help with negative thoughts with manifesting. (PUHLEASE READ MINES 🫶🏿🙏🏿)

🧮

Negative thoughts cause stress, comes out of nowhere, and creates anxiety. Negative thoughts consist of doubt and worry, with questions that can’t answered with certainty. Sometimes they don’t even make sense.

Having these thoughts, make you assume that you think genuinely think these are true. But it’s not. You try to fight it off and ignore it, but that gives it enough attention to make it stronger and more dominant. But even though you have these thoughts, you still practice manifestation? These thoughts do not have to be heavy on your mind. These are not messages these are not your reality, despite how they feel.

These thoughts could be threatening to you, which makes you anxious. It as bad as the thought may be, it’s “has power”, it does not. You try to desperately get rid of these thoughts, hoping they go away. They harder you try to suppress, distract, give answers to the thought, the more dominant it becomes.

So you need to make a new relationship with these thoughts. Sometimes the thoughts are irrelevant and unimportant. Everyone has random thoughts occasionally. Those are (what they) called ‘junk thoughts’. They’re just apart of the stream of consciousness. If you don’t give it any attention they wash away and flow away in your consciousness.

In reality these thoughts aren’t impulsive, they’re thoughts with too much control (over you). That’s why people get desperate for reassurance, and they become ‘reassurance junkies’. Reassurance only works temporarily though. An effective way to deal with negative thoughts by reducing your reaction/sensitivity to the thoughts.

“Unwanted intrusive thoughts are reinforced by getting entangled with them, worrying about them, struggling against them, trying to reason them away. They are also made stronger by trying to avoid them, leave the thoughts alone, treat them as if they’re not even interesting, and they will eventually fade into the background.”

🧮

These are ways they listed that can help you with intrusive thoughts.

🧮 Label these thoughts as “intrusive thoughts.”

🧮 remind yourself that these are automatic and are not up to you.

🧮 accept and allow these thoughts in your mind. Do not try to push them away.

🧮 Float, and practice allowing time to pass.

🧮 Remember less is more. Pause. Give yourself time. There is no urgency.

🧮 expect the thoughts to come back again.

🧮 continue whatever you were doing prior (before) to the intrusive thought while allowing the anxiety to be present.

Try not to:

🧮 engage with the thoughts in any way

🧮 push the thought out of your mind

🧮 try to figure out with your thoughts “mean.”

🧮 check to see if this is “working” to get rid of the thoughts.

That’s the end of my interpretation of each paragraph in “Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts” on adaa.org by Martin Seif and Sally Winston (they won’t let me paste) you should go read it because they go a little bit more in depth about it. It took me a minute it to get it, that’s why I wanted to do my own summary. But even though I read it today it’s already working.

- Bunni (sorry for spelling errors)

#void state #manifesation #void state success story #void success #imagination creates reality #manifesting #manifest it #law of assumption #reality shifting

[noperopesaredope]

The Encanto Neurodivergent Discourse: A Retrospective (Kinda)

So I was thinking back on the Encanto neurodivergent discourse that occurred after the movie came out, and I realized that there was a huge misunderstanding between the two sides that caused the main part of the discourse. So I decided to do a small retrospective type thing on this discourse, my opinions, and where each side went wrong/misunderstood the other’s argument.

So, first let’s start with the elephant in the room: Bruno. If you’ve seen some of my posts on this topic, you know where I stood/stand. Of course, my opinions have slightly altered to become more neutral (or at least softer) on this particular point, but I would still like to explain and unpack where each side went wrong here.

In my personal experience, the reason that multiple neurodivergent people believe/believed that Bruno is neurodivergent isn’t because of his superstitions, but because of multiple of his other mannerisms, as well as how it ties to one of the themes of the movie, or at least what he represents in terms of the main theme. I originally thought to myself, “oh my god, this bitch be autistic,” not when he started doing the rituals, but actually when he was first introduced and how he spoke to Mirabel. He stared at her for a few seconds before abruptly saying “bye,” and brushing past her. I (and others) have actually done this in real life, sometimes mid conversation.

His speaking mannerisms are also very familiar, with the way he rambles and how his phrases things, as well as how his sentence structures flow. And when he was explaining stuff about his visions, we realize that many of the visions mentioned in “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” were likely just regular predictions, showing that he is likely very blunt. The wedding incident, as he explained, was mainly just him not at all reading the room or knowing how to properly comfort his sister. This is common for people with things like autism, and likely other neurodivergent things that affect socializing. It’s less about the rituals, and more about the socialization style.

Now onto to talking about how OCD works and why Bruno’s rituals are seen as parts of OCD. I myself have OCD (very mild in terms of most rituals, but very intense in terms of intrusive thoughts, so highly stressful) and a good understanding of the disorder, so I believe I can add my two cents in a credible manner.

OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) is a neurological condition in which an individual will experience unwanted, excessing, persistent, recurring thoughts that will cause the person to engage in repetitive behaviors in order to diminish the amount/intensity of the thoughts.

The reason people felt that Bruno likely had OCD was not really because of the rituals themselves, but how often Bruno did them and when. 

Most people would perform good luck rituals if they saw a sign that something bad was going to happen. For example, breaking a mirror is bad luck, so it would be reasonable to do something that would ward off that bad luck. You could also do such rituals if you needed extra good luck for something, like an important test. I myself do this sometimes (I’m not superstitious, but I’m also kinda superstitious), and it has nothing to do with my OCD.

But Bruno doesn’t seem to just do it when bad luck comes around, or when he needs good luck. He seems to do it a lot more excessively than most people, and it seems that he believes that there is always bad luck in the air. He seems to be doing these rituals repetitively.

And I honestly think that, because his rituals originate from his culture, it makes for better representation. You see, OCD rituals typically aren’t completely random. While things like counting tiles can be “random” rituals, the most likely way OCD will manifest is tied to the nature of some of the intrusive thoughts, as well as some of the individual’s other fears. Their rituals will then often be tied to something familiar or even something comforting. While this is not always the case, it can be. For example, say someone has OCD, and a majority of their intrusive thoughts revolve around germs. This may cause them to persistently clean their hands, and they will do this repetitively, even when they have no reasonable reason to believe that they are “contaminated.”

In Bruno’s case, his thoughts most likely seem to be that he is bad luck, causes bad luck, or bad luck is at every turn. These thoughts are likely constant and persistent, so he feels a consistent need to ward off bad luck. This is why he will perform rituals known to cause good luck and ward off bad luck, just like washing your hands will make germs go away. That’s why I think he has OCD.

It also adds to his theme in the movie, which a lot of neurodivergent people can relate to: being an outcast in the family, the one who acts strangely, the one who seems to be “embarrassing” to the family, the one that no one talks about (or they talk too much about). I have family members who can relate to this, because though we have multiple autistic folks in the extended family tree, not many in said tree seem to fully understand what it is like to be on the spectrum or generally neurodivergent. I see multiple of my family members who are like Bruno in that specific way, and it kinda made me cry.

So it makes a lot of sense why people would view him that way.

But here’s where things went wrong. First, many neurodivergent people got so excited about the prospect of having good representation, they got a bit carried away, and, from what I’ve heard, started saying that the movie was about neurodivergent representation, or they completely ignored the Colombian representation. This was obviously very irritating to many Colombians, as this movie was very significant in terms of Colombian representation, and to ignore that was insulting.

When some Colombians started telling people that these rituals were actually a part of Colombian culture, a small, yet significant miscommunication/error occurred. Some of the more (I’m assuming) neurotypical Colombians seemed to assume that those headcanoning Bruno as neurodivergent were basing it solely on his rituals. From that assumption rose a (pretty reasonable) assumption that others saw Colombian superstitions as a whole as solely an OCD ritual rather than a cultural one. 

However, though these superstitions originated from Colombia (and I’m assuming other Latin American countries?), they are not unfamiliar to other countries and cultures. Even the least-Latino people I know were familiar with knocking on wood, crossing your fingers, or throwing salt over your shoulder for good luck. Many of them did it themselves. So I’m pretty sure that most people making the headcanons didn’t see the rituals as “exotic” or “strange”, but it is perfectly reasonable to assume that they did. 

A lot of non-Latino and non-Colombian folks were not completely familiar with Colombian culture or some little details they added to the film, and people who aren’t familiar with certain cultures tend to do that, which is frustrating. And there were definitely quite a lot of people in the fanbase who were constantly ignoring and brushing aside the Colombian aspects of the film.

But instead of trying to clear this matter up and explain why many neurodivergent people saw Bruno’s rituals as OCD rituals, most people immediately jumped to a defensive position, and became dismissive of their concerns over how people were portraying Colombian culture and even ignoring very valid points on how people were brushing over the importance of cultural representation in the film, because whether you like it or not, I will say that the primary representation in the film was cultural.

So many Colombians ended up feeling frustrated, because instead of having a proper conversation about how to interpret this part of Bruno’s character and see why people are perceiving him that way, many Colombian voices and concerns were drowned out, ignored, or even dismissed. Some people even dismissed Colombian culture entirely, and I remember seeing a few people basically say that those rituals weren’t actually a part of Colombian culture, which is a horrible thing to do/say.

The aggressive backlash to the points on cultural representation caused a responsive backlash from particularly frustrated Colombian voices. Though the loudest voices were likely the minority, they still had a strong negative impact. The loudest and most extreme voices essentially began dismissing neurodivergent voices, and even made some very ableist comments. This particular backlash (at least in many of the circles I was in) eventually began drowning out neurodivergent voices who were more willing to explain their stance, which caused its own wave of frustration, etc.

That was the main issue with that particular discourse.

Now for Dolores, that is a whole other story. From what I could find, the main (and lowkey only?) reason that people believed Dolores is neurodivergent is because of her “hm!” that she makes throughout the movie. Some say that this is a tic, others that this is a stim. I think some of us jumped to that conclusion way too quickly. Multiple Colombians explained that that is actually a cultural thing, something that many people do quite often. And they are likely right that this is not a sign of Dolores being neurodivergent. First off, she only makes this noise during very specific moments. If you replaced the sound with “huh!” or even “oh well!”, it wouldn’t feel that out of place. 

It is a response to situations, and specifically when she ends certain statements. So it is less random than a tic. She also never really uses it as a self soothing mechanism or a way to express certain emotions, which is what stims are mainly for. So we can likely rule out stimming. So it is perfectly reasonable for many Colombian folks to be frustrated about this, because it takes one trait and turns it into something else rather than a cultural element.

I think the reason some people may have jumped to the conclusion that it was a stim is because it is actually a very soothing sound that actually became a minor stim for me after I heard it. I don’t quite “copy” some people’s stims, but I may see/hear one, think it looks calming, do the thing, and then it becomes something that evolves into a stim. This is likely the reason that people thought that Dolores is neurodivergent: because they have/like that particular potential stim (or tic). 

Doesn’t really make it any better though, and it is probably pretty annoying to those who know that it’s most likely not a stim or tic in Dolores’ case. Especially since some neurodivergent folks were dismissing Colombian culture in the Bruno discourse, and it gets really frustrating and annoying after a while (or even the second it happens). Having every aspect of one’s culture be labelled as something else is uncomfortable, especially when (I assume) many of the people making these headcanons were White Americans who know nothing about Colombia or even Latin America.

So that is where the neurodivergent side of the discourse were the most in the wrong.

For little things like Neurodivergent Mirabel headcanons? Eh, they seem to be more obscure and are truly just headcanons. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone try to actively prove that she or any other characters are neurodivergent, it’s more just a basic neurodivergent headcanon like any other.

I won’t even get into what went wrong with the “Lesbian Isabella” discourse (especially since I didn’t really pay attention to that one, and this post is about the neurodivergent discourse), but all I’ll say on that is that Colombian lesbians should probably be the ones to decide whether or not we should write Lesbian Isabella stuff. I personally think it can be harmless to portray a character as queer whether they are actually queer or not in canon, but for cases like Encanto, which takes place in a specific country with a specific culture, I think we should always consider what it is like to be queer in that specific country and culture. Not every queer community across the world is going to be the same, and we need to respect that. A queer Colombian will have a very different experience from a, for example, queer American. 

This can honestly apply to all the discourse. The main reason I like the idea of Bruno being neurodivergent is because, as I said in a poem I wrote here on Tumblr, I have an autistic Colombian American older cousin, and her heritage affects her experience with that part of her identity. Most autistic portrayals we see in the media are from a White (and non-Hispanic) lens, and most of the time, they’re not even that good! So for a Colombian person to be seen in that way is amazing. But that type of representation is mainly for those whose intersectionality is never represented. We need to show and respect that intersectionality as much as possible, and should be careful with how we portray someone with that type of intersectional experience.

But enough on that. If you’re reading this part, thank you for reading this giant post analyzing and explaining this specific subject. I hope you enjoyed, and please add your thoughts in the replies and reblogs!

#Encanto #encanto bruno #encanto discourse #fandom discourse #encanto fandom #encanto dolores #encanto mirabel #encanto isabela #bruno madrigal #dolores madrigal #mirabel madrigal #isabella madrigal #neurodivergent bruno #autistic spectrum #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #ocd #actually neurodivergent #neurodivergent headcanon #fandom analysis #retrospective #neurodivergent poc

[deusexmachinawitch]

Day 7 of mysterious subliminals

I thought it was going to be uneventful but it has been a small wild ride.

Today I had a small terrifying breakdown inside my head. I was about to spiral because of SP (in my defense, I think it’s because I feel physically exhausted from bad sleep and it was one of “Am I a failure or I just need some sleep?” moment), but suddenly it was like some weird stuff happening like that time I manifested all of my close friends in one place even tho no one knew each other and that I was struggling

I was hanging out with one friend because he suddenly asked me out and I thought that something happened to him (he’s trans and disabled so he struggles a lot), but he told me he wanted to hang out with me to just tell me how much he appreciated me and loved me. He suddenly felt compelled to just hang out with me and tell me that because I work hard and knows that many people at my job don’t even tell me. So we had a nice afternoon.

Then at night, my friends who are a couple came to see me and told me that they made dinner for me because they knew how hard I was working and that I keep taking care of people even if I don’t talk about myself, so they want to show their appreciation with acts because they didn’t know what do I need. I kept getting thanked for my kindness and that they knew that because of my experiences in life, I’m the type to just not talk about my struggles. I never thought I’d like raw celery with hummus but it was tasty.

The thing is, I was really not feeling okay and even had the intrusive thought about “Am I really that disposable?” but suddenly everyone kept coming out of nowhere to tell me how much they loved me and grateful they were for me. And that made me think “Why am I worrying about SP? If this many people keep telling me how much they love me and even my Mom loves me now, he’s the one that’s blind… I’m really hardworking, beautiful, loving and wonderful. He really doesn’t deserve me, I don’t want his ass if he’s not in pair with me” and I felt better.

When I came home, I also had Chinese food and a note that said “So you don’t do anything tomorrow except resting” and also more friends said that they wanted to invite me to eat out this week and some even want to join my exercise routine because they said they felt inspired by my effort and they shouldn’t slack off (context: I’m chronically ill but I don’t want to give up on my health and desired appearance so I exercise every day even if I’m bedridden). They also said that they don’t want me to be lonely in my path to become better.

Everyone told me today that they already thought I was kind and inspiring, but they saw me push through so hard even with several bad news and constantly seeing my improvement no matter the circumstances that they want to help me with whatever goals I want.

So I guess that I manifested having a reason to persist when I was about to have a breakdown and see my true worth and that I AM really the prize, the treasure and the catch. I am really loving my life right now and SP should work a lot to improve to be part of it.

#law of assumption #loa tumblr #loablr #manifestation #loa blog #affirm and persist #loassumption #loassblog #loa success #neville goddard #subliminals

[dollfaceirene]

Hello, wish chakra anon here! And I was wondering what’s the best aff to make sure I don’t grant my intrusive thoughts? Because I don’t want to randomly be joking in my head like i wish these fries were molded, and they actually become molded yk? I was thinking “my wish chakra is immune to granting my intrusive thoughts” but then what if I am not indirectly wishing for something? Like “I wish class was over” but I don’t actually mean it maybe an aff like “my wish chakra is immune to granting my wishes unless I really mean it? Or” something chile idk atp🤦🏾‍♀️

my fav affirmations to use when i get intrusive thoughts

"i only think beneficial thoughts"

"it is inevitable that i only get what i want"7

"intrusive thoughts & doubts cannot manifest"

"i am in control of my thoughts"

"no matter how im feeling, i only manifest my desired outcome" "the law of assumption only gives me desired circumstances & outcome"

but dw, intrusive thoughts wont manifest (becuz they are basically unwanted thoughts that u arent feeding into) and yhh. If you wanna include your wish chakras in your affirmations, go ahead by all means :)

[remcycl333]

the law is “too hard” 😢

my biggest pet peeve is when someone asks me for advice, i give it to them, and then they’re like “but that’s too much much work tho🥺 that’s too hard🥺“ like WHAT???

it’s not even about the fact that i spent my time answering you just for you to not listen to anything i said, but it’s just the fact that some people have the nerve to complain about the law being hard. like huh??? you are literally so lucky to know that the law exists!!! you guys have become so spoiled fr.

you can manifest literally anything and everything you want!!! you can manifests millions of dollars just by changing your thoughts!! what do you think is harder, disciplining your mind and changing your thoughts, or not knowing about the law and literally having to go to an expensive ass college for 4+ years, getting a degree, going to multiple job interviews to get a job, and then work a 9-5 job for the rest of your life?? and even then, you might not even be able to afford to buy a nice house, or go on vacation, go on shopping sprees, etc??? but through the law you can manifest millions of dollars overnight, wake up in your dream mansion, go on vacation every other week, without lifting a single finger!!! just by thinking!!! and you say that’s too hard? 😭😭😭

look at your peers who don’t know about the law. i bet they would give anything to know that they could solve all of their problems just by thinking. but you were lucky enough to stumble upon the law and you’re complaining its too hard. you can change your entire life overnight and all you have to do is change your thoughts. before you knew about the law, you thought it was impossible to change your face, or make money without working for it, or to date your celebrity SP. then you learned that you could and you’re actually willing to waste your power??? because it’s “too hard”???

you are not a victim to your thoughts. you have full control over what you think. and before you say “but i have intrusive thoughts--” intrusive thoughts don’t manifest, that doesn’t apply here. you don’t have to lift a single finger to change your thought patterns, you just have to put in the effort to discipline your mind for a few days. you don’t even have to leave your fucking bed if you don’t want to. you can manifest everything you want just by laying around, as long as you stop letting yourself fall victim to your own thoughts. i swear when you actually decide to put the effort in you’re going to be kicking yourself for not doing it sooner, cuz you will see just how easy it’s really been this whole time.

you are GOD. please start acting like it!!!

#law of assumption #manifestation #manifesting

[themanifestingbrat]

◞◜❁ How to deal ❁◝◟ with intrusive thoughts & doubts when manifesting

As I was working on my self concept and strengthening my beliefs, I still would constantly get intrusive thoughts and doubts and it would really upset me which took me down a rabbithole of being a victim. But after watching a few videos and actually implementing them, I was able to reduce them and even use it as reassurance that I'm successfully saturating my mind with the new.

The good news is your thoughts don't manifest. You are not your thoughts. The worst thing you can do is give power to your thoughts and waver/spiral as if you're not in control. Before I get into ways to handle them, let's briefly discuss what intrusive thoughts are and why we have them...

Intrusive thoughts are those thoughts that come out of nowehere, they are usually not aligned with what you want or want to be. They can overwhelm you by giving you stress and anxiety. They may even be aggressive and intensely fearful. When these thoughts come up, you might think about your current circumstances and unwanted scenarios. And if you give into them, you might feel guilty, shame, or even physical discomfort.

I believe these particular thoughts come from your ego as protection or from your old self (depending on what you've experienced or been taught.) Your ego/old self want you to believe these thoughts so you can remain comfortable and to protect you from the new/the unknown. I like to use these as indicators that I'm saturating my mind and my ego is going into panic mode.

Now, how can we deal with this?

✻ Let them be. Surrender to them without trying to change them. If you start to resist them and try to flip them out of fear, the thoughts start to grow bigger and becomes more destructive. The more you try push it away, the more it comes back. So, just observe it, allow it to exist without giving it energy in either direction. Remember, you assign meaning and power to everything. ✻ Befriend your ego. Sometimes the voice in your head that says those mean and hurtful things may seem like they are there to sabotage you or hold you back. But look at it as your friend trying to help you. They want to protect you from discomfort, hurt, and pain. They are not always right, but listen to it (not to make it to true) and see what wisdom it might have to offer. Most likely, it's trying to protect you from experiencing something that has cause you pain in the past. ✻ Question it. Most of the time, your intrusive thoughts were true at one point. In the past, you may have had an emotional or traumatic experience that formed a belief. And now, as you're saturating your mind with the new, the thoughts can come back trying to remind you of the past. You can ask, 'Is this true for me now?' Nine times out of ten it isn't because it doesn't align with your desired reality. You can also ask, 'What memory or emotion is this bringing up?' If you're able to pinpoint a memory, you will be able to process and heal it. Sidenote: if you consider yourself an overthinker, I wouldn't recommened questioning every intrusive thought.

✻ Tweak your affirmations. If you love affirming, here's what you can add to your affirmations to saturate your mind quicker and ease the doubts.

I am/have ___ and that's a fact. I am/have ___ and it is done. I am/have ___ because I say so.

Get creative and use your own vocabulary!

I hope this helps and if you have anymore tips or recommendations, I would love to hear them!! ✿✿✿

#loa #law of assumption #loa affirmations #loa success #law of attraction #law of affirmation #loa blog #loa manifestation #doubts #instrusive thoughts #neville goddard #edward art #manifest #manifesation #manifesting #loa methods #loa tumblr #loa advice #master manifestor #self concept #mental diet #the void state #void state #void success #void #loassumption #living in the end #loa assumptions #desired reality #mine<3

[bpdstevenuniverse]

when ppl demonize mental disorders, especially bipolar disorder and personality disorders, i wonder what they would think of me.

when they call all bipolar ppl abusive bc some abusers are diagnosed with it, i wonder what they would think if i told them i have the disorder, and i once had a manic episode to the point of having delusions and hallucinations.

when they call someone a psychopath or a sociopath, or a narcissist, i wonder how they would react if they learned i have borderline personality disorder, which is on the same spectrum as these other groups. i wonder how they would react if they learned i have regular suicidal and impulsive thoughts, how obsessed i can become with someone, how intense my feelings and my anger can be, as well as my violent thoughts - which are not always intrusive thoughts, mind you. i genuinely daydream about violent fights or me severely hurting myself.

i wonder how they would react if they knew i take mood stabilizers and antipsychotics to treat all those things. (and not so fun fact, one friend of mine mocked me for taking antipsychotics, and called me a "psycho" for it)

those ppl might probably say, "wow but you don't act like them" maybe because i'm "too nice". it's like how ppl say "but you don't look autistic, you look like a normal person". and sure, no one is the same, some manifest their symptoms differently.

but i'm still part of the same groups you're demonizing. and your words, your jokes, your hateful statements... they affect me, too.

#actuallybpd #actuallybipolar #ableism tw #ableist language tw #actually mentally ill #venting #personal #my journal #npd safe #cluster b safe

[crush3dmary]

A bit late for the ask game, but I'm gonna throw a freeform at you.

What is one question on the list that no one asked, but you were really hoping they would?

If none apply, use this as an excuse to just info-dump whatever thing you've been wanting to go crazy about!

Ahhhh my treasured mutual thank you so much for the ask!! I think I'm going to use this opportunity to info dump about my current longfic wip, because I'm really excited about it!

Philosophy of a Knife is a yugioh canon rewrite au where Bakura wins and Ryou becomes a vessel for Zorc's power. I have a lot of big plans for it, but it's really a glorified character study with an alternate interpretation of Ryou. I once heard the interpretation that Bakura is a manifestation of Ryou's own intrusive thoughts and I thought this could be an interesting thing to explore alongside the concept of an unreliable narrator as he starts to lose his grip on reality more and succumb to his more carnal urges, inspired by my very real experiences with ocd/intrusive thoughts. The first chapter is pretty canon compliant so far to the manga but I'm planning to have it diverge pretty significantly around battle city. And there will be card games! I learned how to play Duel Monsters for this! I really committed to the bit for this one. If you guys want a preview of the first couple paragraphs, I shared this in a few servers so I don't mind sharing it here too. Under a cut to be safe.

Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Ryou would learn this the hard way—he'd always considered himself the kind of person that others don't remember, someone forgettable, his anonymity nearly paralleling invisibility. It was only when he lost that resource that he would realize how much of a divine sanction it was.

If one had asked him seven months prior where he imagined his sorry life, the last thing he would have said was "acting as a vessel for the dark God Zorc Necrophades", but even if his life before the Ring was relatively mundane, going about the motions like it were a series of small tragedies, ever since his body became communal, all he could say for certain was that his days were unpredictable at best.

Nobody had told him when he accepted Zorc's soul that the Darkness felt like fire and ice in his veins, something swimming through his arteries like the aftertaste of grief that had clouded his senses since the day he got the phone call saying they're dead, and now you're not just lonely but alone. Nobody told him that he'd feel it skittering across the hairs of his neck like the most graceful of insects, and more than that, nobody told him that nothing would slow the process of his own decay.

A panic that wasn't his washed over Ryou's body as he doubled over, coughing and choking, a malady that had nowhere to go. Jagged nails dug into the pale skin of his forearms, drawing blood that stained the tips of his fingers onyx. Soon after, one of his hands came up to rest over his open mouth, and he retched.

The moment he pulled away, he cowered with revulsion when he saw that his blood and bile were black.

[the-clumsywitch]

A Simple Tip to Remain Grateful While Manifesting

One thing I've noticed amongst the witchy/spiritual/woo woo community, is that people will often say remain grateful while you're manifesting. Or else you'll slow down your manifestation or stop it from coming all together but the question for many people is, "how do you remain grateful while manifesting when you're trying to change your current situation?" Something interesting I realize is that these manifestation coaches or manifestation experts fail to tell the people that they're supposed to be helping, is that it is very, very hard to eradicate negative thoughts or thoughts of not having what you want. So then the question becomes, "How do I manifest if this is going to slow down my manifestation, thinking of what I don't have and what I do want? " To me it's actually quite simple because you don't stop thinking about what you want, which is not a show of ungratefulness. What I like to do is, think about what I want just as a fleeting thought or something that comes up when I think "wow, I'm really not in the situation that I'd like to be in and that kind of sucks." What I do after I've had that thought, what some spiritual people would call an intrusive thought, is consider what I am grateful for that is in relation to what I'm manifesting. For instance, I've noticed quite a few people are either manifesting one of two things and that is love or money. So if you're for instance, manifesting love and you're thinking, "Oh gosh, I'm really lonely and I don't have that partner that I am manifesting right now to do x, y, and z with, I really wish I had them right now." You could then think of all the wonderful things you do have and are able to do as a single person in this moment that requires literally no partner to do. An example of this could be going out to the park and just enjoying a nice breeze or going to the coffee shop and having your favorite coffee and people watching or reading a book. Just something that you currently enjoy doing that you really don't need a partner for and this is just an example it doesn't have to be a partner that you're manifesting, this is just something that I've noticed is a very common manifestation. I hope you get the point of what I'm saying, it is perfectly fine, at least in my opinion, to think about what you don't have or what you're manifesting but it is important to stay in the present for as much as you can and realize what you do have that is of some degree similar to the manifestation. Because that is in itself welcoming your manifestation by showing appreciation for it, it's like acknowledging your manifestation as if it is already here by seeing that manifestation in what you already have. Please feel free to leave a comment on this post, especially if what I said doesn't make sense or sounds jumbled. Just note that if you see a Jigglypuff profile photo along with my name next to it that I'm only able to comment from my original blog which is that one. I know, it's strange but please bare with me if that's the case, I'm going to see if that is something that can be resolved or if that's just the way the Tumblr world works.

- Erika, The Clumsy Witch

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