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oliviaischillin1204 · 8 months

Text

you gotta be kitten me

Pairings: Platonic Prinxiety

Word Count: 1,822 words

just a silly little thing i came up with when i used to play neko atsume djfhghdjskjdh. good times man

Some days were meant for grand adventures, Roman thought. Trying new things, climbing new heights, and achieving goals beyond your wildest dreams.

Other days were for sitting in the living room, half-watching a musical bootleg on the TV as you rapidly refreshed Neko Atsume over and over and over again.

Roman groaned for the fifth time in as many minutes as his garden, yet again, failed to attract any new cats. He knew the point of the game was to be patient, but come on! His entire yard was decked out with the highest quality cat trees, toys, and trinkets possible, all elegantly displayed along the beautiful Zen Garden backyard expansion model. He kept his food bowls stocked with Deluxe Tuna Bitz, even upgrading to a nice plate of sashimi or two when he had gold fish to spare. There was no reason at all why he should be so incapable of attracting rare cats to his garden.

“Lookit. I got another one.”

And of course, the worst fact of all: Virgil was fucking great at the game.

Roman groaned in exasperation. “Which one now?”

Virgil turned his phone around and held it up for Roman to see. They were both on the couch, lying toe-to-head so they could both recline while sharing the good blanket between them. After a few moments of blinking, Roman could make out the distinctive striped shirt, cap, and baseball bat that belonged to none other than--

“Joe DiMeowgio,” Virgil confirmed. Roman’s jaw dropped.

“What? How did you find him?”

Virgil shrugged, pulling the phone back and tapping the screen smugly. “He likes the baseball.”

Roman made an affronted noise. “That’s like, one of the most basic, boring, blah toys you can have in the entire game.”

“He’s a simple cat with simple needs, Princey,” Virgil deadpanned. Roman groaned, draping his arm over his eyes in defeat, but his dramatics were interrupted by Virgil’s foot popping out of the blanket to kick him.

“How dare you kick a man when he’s down, you villain!”

Virgil ignored him, settling back into the couch now that he’d stopped Roman’s whining. “Maybe just try switching up your yard once in a while. The cats need variety.”

The two fell silent again. Roman pouted down at his phone as he pondered the Goodies shop in the game’s menu. It was true, he didn’t like to switch out his items often-- his preferred method for games like this was to save up until he could get all of the expensive items first. It made sense to him; why waste time collecting cheap items if he could get the most payback from the expensive ones?-- but now, he found himself scrolling through the early pages of the shop’s catalogue, looking for a new toy to catch his eye.

And, well... something did:

Fluff-Thing Teaser: a ball of fluff that inspires playful strikes. Your cat will never get bored of this thing!

Roman eyed the toy in the photo. It was definitely a cheap one, costing only 100 regular fish. But what really caught his eye was the wording-- “inspires playful strikes”.

His eyes drifted from the screen in front of him, to Virgil’s foot, still exposed from when he’d kicked Roman earlier.

He turned the idea over in his head, his lips twitching into a smile. He dropped his hand to the side, and, as subtly as he possibly could, summoned a small handheld toy with a ball of fluff on the end.

Clearing his throat to cover the laugh building up inside him, Roman rearranged himself so the Fluff-Thing Teaser was hidden from Virgil’s sight, resting on his own chest so the fluff-ball tip was an inch away from Virgil’s foot.

He waited. Waited. Waited...

And swiped the piece of fluff straight down Virgil’s sole.

The reaction was minor, but immediate-- Virgil jerked, his foot pulling back minutely as a startled gasp burst out of him.

“What was that?” he asked sternly. Roman looked at him over his phone.

“What?”

He thought he sounded pretty innocent, but Virgil clearly wasn’t fooled. “Don’t do that.”

“I didn’t do anything!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! I swear on my sword, I haven’t touched you.” Which wasn’t a lie. Roman hadn’t touched him-- the Fluff-Thing Teaser had.

He dropped his eyes back to his screen, feigning obliviousness to Virgil’s glare. After a few moments, however, he too returned his attention to his game.

Roman bit his lip, flipping quickly through the item pages for his next trick. He quickly found it:

Wing-Thing Teaser: Mild curiosity will turn into obsession once your cat starts pouncing on this tufted teaser.

Roman bit his lip again to avoid laughing aloud. He focused on swapping the Fluff-Thing for the Wing-Thing (listen, he didn’t choose the names, okay?) and hid all but the feathery tip in his sleeve. He coughed, shifting himself again, and swiped the soft toy down just beneath Virgil’s toes.

“Fuck!” Virgil burst out again, yanking his leg all the way back to his chest. He grabbed his foot defensively as he rubbed at the skin. “Fucking-- stop that.”

“I’m literally not doing anything,” Roman lied, but he couldn’t stop the smile that was curling up at the edges of his mouth. “Why are you being twitchy?”

Virgil glowered at him. “I’m always twitchy.”

“Well, you’re being extra twitchy today. Just sit back and look at the cats.”

For a moment Roman was worried that Virgil would get up and ruin his game, but luckily for him, the anxious side merely rubbed at his foot once more before, hesitantly, stretching his legs out in front of him again. His brow was still furrowed, and Roman kept his eyes directly on his phone.

Waiting for the perfect moment to strike with a straight face was nearly impossible, but he knew that Virgil was expecting it now. As soon as his eyes caught sight of the Wild-Thing Teaser in the catalogue, he knew this one would be much more obvious than the first two toys.

Well. Time to give up the act.

Roman shoved the fluffy ball of the Wild-Thing directly in between Virgil’s first and second toe. The anxious side made a noise of confusion, then shock, then burst into laughter.

“Dude!” he managed through his giggles, reaching for his foot to yank the toy away. Scrunching his toes around it instinctively only made it tickle more, and Roman watched with amusement bright on his face as Virgil giggled at the accidental self-tickling.

“Did I do that?” Roman asked innocently. Virgil glared at him as he eyed the item with a fair amount of suspicion.

“Wait,” he said suddenly, eyes widening. “Is this the--”

“The Wild-Thing Teaser? Well, it appears so!” Roman finished for him, grinning widely as he waved his phone in the air before reading the description. “‘Talk about a big tease! Just try to stop your cats from pouncing at this fluffy fur ball.’”

He snorted. “Aw, looks like they’re right! This kitty right here couldn’t help but play with the lil’ fuzzball!”

He relished in watching Virgil grow more and more flustered at the teasing.

“Shut up-- I’m not-- I’m not a cat,” he protested. Roman laughed at his flustered indignation.

“Well, you’re certainly acting like one! Are you having fun playing with your new toy, Mr. Meow-Meow?”

He laughed louder as Virgil realized that he’d been rolling the small fuzz ball in between his fingers. The emo side threw the toy to the side, crossing his arms and pouting. “Well, you’re the one being freaking immature, summoning toys like that!”

“Ah, but that’s the spirit of the game, isn’t it? Finding all the cute little toys that make your little kittens as happy as can be--”

“I’m not a cat!”

“Oh, yeah?” Roman asked. “Prove it.”

Suddenly one hand darted forward and clamped around Virgil’s ankle, where he’d accidentally left his leg within Roman’s range. With the other hand, he summoned the next tool on the list, and this time he was lucky enough to see the recognition dawn on Virgil’s face.

“Roman!” he hissed (another point in Roman’s ‘Virgil is a cat’ agenda), but he was too slow, because Roman was already flicking and fluttering the Zebra Grass Gadget all up and down the bare sole of Virgil’s foot.

The result was immediate: Virgil squealed, yanking his foot back helplessly against Roman’s much stronger grip as the toy tickled his sole.

“‘Watch your cats’ fascination turn to obsession!’,” Roman recited over the sound of Virgil’s giggles. He made sure to brush the grassy toy in rhythm to his words as he continued, “‘It has a fluffy teaser tip that they just. Can’t. Resist!’”

“Stop ihihihit!” Virgil said through giggles. His other leg kicked out in time with his bursts of laughter, but Roman’s grip kept the captured foot nice and snug as he fluttered all along the wrinkles of his sole.

“Which toy is your favorite, kitty?” Roman teased. “Or do you just love them all so much?”

Virgil looked like he was about to argue (well, as much as he could through his silly laughter) so Roman flipped the Zebra Grass Gadget around and scratched its stem on the ball of Virgil’s foot. That was enough to make any snarky words die on Virgil’s tongue, replacing them with desperate screeches of laughter instead.

“Okay-- okay okay okahahahay!” he gasped, rocking back and forth in his trapped state. Roman moved to trail the stem up and down the arch of his foot, and Virgil gripped the fabric of the couch like he was fighting off torture. “No more, no more-- please it tihihihickles!”

That was enough for Roman. He slowed the tickling until he was just barely grazing Virgil’s foot with the stem; he waited until Virgil had calmed down before quickly flipping the toy around and giving one more tickle with the grassy side.

“Ah!” Virgil yelped. He yanked his leg back, and this time Roman let him go.

He couldn’t help but grin at Virgil as the anxious side caught his breath. The soft grass of the toy floated through the air as Roman lazily twirled it around his fingers.

“Well, well, well...” he drawled. “I’ll be honest, I think this is even more fun than the actual game!”

“Shut the fuck up,” Virgil said, face still flushed.

“Aw, you don’t think so? You sounded like you were having lots of fun. These cat toys really do work... kitten.”

Suddenly Virgil was lunging forward through the air, arms outstretched. Roman only had half a second to scream before the emo side had him pinned on his back.

“You think I act like a cat?” Virgil asked. “Lemme ask you this, Princey: did you forget that cats have claws?”

He raised his hands, ten fingers wiggling just above Roman’s stomach, and Roman realized that this game was about to get much harder.

#my posts #my writing #tickling #tickle fic #tickle community #sanders sides tickling #lee!virgil #ler!roman #drafted on jan 27 2021 #you gotta be kitten me

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